#For some reason never posted as a Monday art

[draconesmundi]

Happy Dracones Monday, Nagaraja!

Hello! Happy Dracones Monday, today's dragon is the nagaraja, a large serpentine dragon with a 'crown' of horns on it's head, found throughout South Asia in large rivers!

The two pictured above are Ganges naga, a subspecies found in India specicaly. The males have 'cobra' hoods, and they use these to carry their young - a high quality male has a larger hood and can be a good father to more offspring. The way he carries his young is often depicted as a 'many headed dragon' - a lot of dragons in Dracones Mundi carry offspring on their backs, which is how 'hydra' or 'multi headed dragon' myths arise.

For more information on my dragon project, where I design dragons based on world mythology, follow @draconesmundi ! I try to post a new dragon design every Monday (a 'dracones monday') - I've been on hiatus for a month-and-a-bit but I plan on being more active in Smaugust!

[jealousmartini]

Oh, nothing much, just a list of reasons why I am so excited to permashift to my ultimate 4d reality //better current reality//

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

— EXPERIENCING DESIRED SCENARIOS

I am a hardcore daydreamer just like my brother and sister shifters(you guys🫵🏾), and I can't wait to really live the silly imagines I always have in my head. Even if it's something relatively small, I will still get to live every second of them.

Idk if some of you guys will remember that one post where I mentioned Googlebox? But I'm mentioning it again🙄 because I scripted me, my love of my life, his sister who is my bff, my own girl bff and her boyfriend are part of the program teehee. I swear no one will ever understand how much of a comfort show Googlebox is to me and in general.

The idea of being on TV whilst watching TV and relaxing with my favourite people and eating my favourite food just makes me melt. It's such a core memory to me and idk I just love showing off how perfect my family is to everyone else

— FOOD

I can't wait for all the delicious food I'll get to eat. There will never be a single time where I have to eat something I don't like or don't want to ever again, because why should I have to? I'm mostly excited to have stuff like popeyes, McDonald's, seafood boils, those Korean and Japanese foods you see on mukbangs, loads of fruit bowls (I really do love fruit), basically everything meat/barbecue, pasta including ramen, and sweets too cus🧍🏿‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

— NO UGLY CLOTHES ALLOWED

Never will there be a day or night where I will ever need to wear clothes that don't suit me or clothes I don't like. My closet is going to be full of the cutest and gorgeous late 90s and early 2000s skirts, shirts, bellbottoms, flares, jackets, oversized ts, shorts, belts, slippers, jewelry, panties and bras etc etc

— ALREADY COMPLETED WORK

In my better cr, I scripted that I am already miles ahead of everyone in college work (and best believe all my work is at distinction level) so I have all the time in the world to do what I want until the next brief; I also scripted the date of month that I will wake up in my better cr in is the 17th April last week so I will have only 3 days of college next week (because i go in on mondays, tuesdays, wendsays and Thursdays) and 4 weeks of freedom to myself. (I also scripted my teachers let me do my own art work in my free time in class, cus sometimes all a girl wants to do is draw their ocs🥺)

Edit :: 17th of may now!!

— CURRENTLY IN MY MOVING ERA

In better cr, I am kind of in the planning process of moving out of my house to my apartment penthouse with my friend group. I'm thinking of moving out at 18 or 19 years old since I'm 17 rn and I still want to explore my better cr house cus it's wayyyy better than this one. But even once I've moved out I'll probably keep visiting my old home where my mum and her husband lives because.

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

Overall, I am so excited to experience everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I deserve my freedom and peace, excitement, and joy. Being able to just do what I want when I want and always knowing that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.

Life is so amazing, and it's so worth living. I know I will manifest my desired reality in no time, and I know all of the stress, time, anxiety, and patience won't be for nothing. Life is mine to explore, and I can't wait to do so

@4ellieluv @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @cocozydiaries

[ofmermaidstories]

some bnha thoughts, on this sunny monday morning (or lunchtime, by the time i finish typing sdlkfjdlsk):

💥 got walloped with a return of the post-362 grief, with the latest episode of the anime lmao. unfortunately this means i am currently in my feelies, so thank u for bearing with me as i cycle through them in the form of shitposting. 🥹

💥 speaking of the anime, i’m sad they didn’t adapt one of my favourite panels from 360, where bakugou (or shiggy? it’s never really stated, but tbh i’ve always kinda assumed it’s shiggy imagining it LOL, maybe they both are? a joint moment of horror/delight where everyone knows exactly what’s about to happen 🥹) are imagining bakugou being torn apart by shiggy’s gross giant maggot fingers sdlkjlsdjflksdjf. i mean, i get why bones didn’t adapt it (bc they’re cheapskates and and also bc it is a show for children LMFAOOOO) but it’s a really cool example of how hard hori’s art can go, and also what im chalking up as his secret wish to write a horror story lmaoooo.

🪱🧵 i am biting my nails the closer we get to the end of the manga. chapter 428 was fun—bakugou and todoroki hiding behind iida as iida gently berates their newfound fangirls was so cute, lmao. also the revelation that edgeshot is slowly… regenerating? is….. interesting. i’m disappointed that hori didn’t kill him for a couple of reasons: the first one is my most selfish, and it’s bc i planned on edgeshot being dead for my halloween fic lmfao, now i gotta rework that whole angle. 💀😪 but the second reason is more pressing and that’s bc hori is a COWARD who NEVER kills off ANYONE that has INTERESTING CONSEQUENCES. and also bc he only likes killing off girls 💀 (we’ll circle back to this point). idk, i mean, for as much as i act like the grim reaper and whinge about mha not being depressing enough (lmao), the story that hori’s been writing has always been like, pretty easy to understand. hope connection blah blah blah (i say that lovingly).

HOWEVER,

💚🍵🩸 there are a few deaths i’ve always kinda expected, in the series, with the top of that list being shiggy and dabi. i was like, hopeful toga wouldn’t die, mostly bc i wanted hori to prove me wrong with his GIRL MURDERER AGENDA, but. 💀 cue the clown music, ig. and hey, maybe toga isn’t dead—maybe she’s just in a coma or in prison and ochako’s being emo bc she wants the world to see toga as a teenage girl and not a blood-sucking murdering psycho, and i HOPE that’s the case!!! i do!!!! like, are you seriously going to tell me dabi is somehow still alive (for now, anyways. do NOT come for me, that man got deep fried in the deepest oil vats of McHell!!!!) but toga gets the chop? 😒 like i actually fully expect tenko to come stumbling back (literally!!!) so you cannot tell me you save the dustpile AND the deepfriend mctodo just to axe the blood sucker!!!!! let them all live if ur gonna be a coward about it, hori!!!!! this is what i mean about interesting consequences. 😔 the only consequence we’re getting so far is deku and ochako both kinda 🫤🥺😦ing their way into a confession LOL. i’m being mean—i think the next chapter will be them both confronting their guilt over like, not being able to “save” their villains, and that if we do get a confession of feelies it’ll be something like ochako saying, “i like you deku, and/but i want to be a great hero too, to save people like toga in the future”. 🥹 maybe??? guess we’ll see. 🥺

🌇💀 my pet theory for the vaguely-tenko shaped rando that’s stumbling through the rumble is that it is indeed tenko, and that deku will somehow find him to help him and that’s how deku will get his powers back. and if he doesn’t and hori ends the series with deku being quirkless i will actually, and i mean this very sincerely, stop writing fanfic LMFAOOOO. ok im maybe like, half joking. 😒 but i have never been a fan of the quirkless deku ending and now im getting scared that’s what we’re gonna get!!!!! 😦 in one of his latest interviews, hori mentions something about wanting to strip away labels from people (characters) to see the human underneath them? soooo i guess we’ll just have to trust in him and these next two (TWO) chapters. 🥹

for all my whinging i do like bnha lmao. i whinge because i like it, and tbh i probably wouldn’t change a thing of it. 🥺 all the frustrating gaps—like those perceived consequences i keep getting worked up over the lack of—are what makes it fun to write and read fic for. 🥹 and it’s been fun watching the characters change!!! i was in a bookstore, yesterday, picking up a copy of volume 38 and the girl at the counter and i started talking about the series—the pros and cons of binging it vs keeping up weekly, the change in bakugou’s character and how reading over fics with him and his older characterisation can be kinda hard, now. how scary it was that it’s coming to an end!!! she and i have talked before—when i was buying volume 36 lmao—about whether bakugou could be canonically read as queer vs asexual, and like, idk any other series that has such a mainstream reach that you could have these outside conversations with other people in your day to day, outside of a twitter or tumblr sphere! that’s the power of my hero. and im glad to be here for the ride. and no matter how it ends, it’ll be fun, and worth it. 🥹

[kawaiixchaotic]

i have been crying about this for days. the arabic language is so beautiful. i am both thankful to this artist for sharing this gorgeous song with us, and torn to pieces thinking about how much pain she must be in watching her home get destroyed and her people suffer.

she mentions sending peace on an olive branch. edit: "olive" means zaytun (زيتون) watch out for this word if you read/see/hear Palestinian art, the cultural context will help you understand the message more. besides the olive branch being a well known symbol for peace (it's even on the United States dollar AND the United States Seal) there is a rich historical and cultural context behind this lyric. for those who don't know, Palestine has been known for its olive trees for millennia. some of the oldest living olive trees in the entire world are in Palestine (although i really don't know if they are still standing at this moment). olives are well-loved and crucial to Palestinian cuisine, as well as being a major source of income, since many Palestinians are olive farmers and have been for generations. a symbol for peace, harmony, friendship, resilience, and perserverance, the olive tree represents Palestinian spirit, and olive leaf patterns are also featured on the Palestinian keffiyeh.

there is another lyric where she says "in the land of peace, peace is dead." one english transliteration of this arabic phrase is "fi 'ard alsalam mat alsalam" with 'ard (أرض) meaning land/earth, al-salam or more commonly salam (سلام) meaning peace, and mat (مات) being a conjugation from the word mawt (موت) meaning death. (I'm not sure in which tense, arabic has so many tenses and I don't want to spread misinformation, my knowledge of the arabic language is like 1st grade level and mostly from osmosis due to growing up Muslim and having early exposure to the language through the Quran and basic classes at Islamic school, and I'm not even a practicing Muslim anymore, so pls feel free to correct my mistakes) lyrically, it was this phrase that stuck out to me the most, because of the emphasis placed on "peace" through its repetition. in the land of peace, peace is dead; Palestine is The Holy Land in Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. peace was the foundation of the land, not just peace meaning lack of war but peace as in spiritual peace, the kind of peace that fills your heart with love for this world and the people in it. now that this peace is being actively destroyed, Palestine is losing itself. Elyanna (the singer) is saying that her home is being gutted from the inside out, until it's unrecognizable, until it lacks the one thing that MADE Palestine; peace. It is heartbreaking.

The reason I am sharing this song and breaking down this lyric is because I want to re-humanize the Arabic language and Arab culture. It has been demonized for far too long, and it was/is on PURPOSE. IDF soldiers bombing Al-Shifa hospital and claiming (lying) that they found a list of Hamas guards and hostages (that were never in the hospital) when it was a CALENDAR and the only names of "Hamas guards" listed were fucking Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, is exactly what I mean when I say that the world has been so successfully brainwashed against MENA (the Middle East and North Africa) that even the Arabic language itself, written or spoken, is perceived as inherently violent and threatening.

I hope this post has contributed in helping you unlearn the racism and anti-Arab/anti-Middle Eastern propoganda you have been taught.

From the river to the sea, Palestine 🇵🇸 will be free.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

[luvtonique]

I feel like my artist career might be nearly over.

Now mind you, not because I'm burnt out, or because of some kind of controversy, but entirely because I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to push forward with it.

I don't hate my art, I don't even dislike it. It's my passion, and I want my entire life to be a life or creating art and telling stories.

I love sharing what I create with the world and I love having support from my fanbase.

But as of right now, I just can't get anyone noticing anything I do.

I've been working on a video game for almost a full year now, have gameplay footage I've shown, sprite animations, story I've shown off, characters I've been drawing and describing and giving backstories, and I get like 20 notes tops on anything I post.

I do streams for an average of 5 viewers every Monday and Wednesday and Friday. 5 viewers.

I have had a fundraiser to get me out of California because I can't afford to live here, I'm disabled, and I have a 75yo mother and an autistic brother I'm trying to get out of here too, and I barely scraped together $3000 of donations over the last year.

I pour my heart and soul into music that I've been writing and I'm met with backlash or people flat out ignoring the songs I post because people say my lyrics I write aren't worthy of notice or a paycheck. Soundcloud outright denied my ability to monetize my music. Completely. I am no longer able to request monetization.

The state of California has spent the last 15 years denying my attempts to get SSI, state disability, any kind of social security for my rheumatoid arthritis, and I even got told by a disability lawyer that they had to decline my case because I don't take medication for my disability. When I told them I don't have medical insurance because I don't qualify for MediCAL, they said that isn't their problem.

I watch other artists with 170,000 followers on Twitter bashing me and saying I don't deserve my fanbase for reasons they're just making up, and when I try to defend myself they just bash me harder and block me while I'm over on Twitter with like 300 followers and not getting noticed by anyone.

I reach out to my friends to get retweets, reblogs, etc. and I get nothing. No help, no love, after literal years of me promoting them and doing multistreams with them and collabs with them to help them get noticed.

I've even been blocked by multiple friends of mine when I asked if they wanted to partner up for projects. Really! Blocked! Outright blocked because people want so badly to get away from me!

I am literally starving. I'm currently eating stale sourdough bread that my mom made 2 weeks ago because it's all we have in the house.

I'm sitting here suffering constantly and when I ask people if they wanna like do a collab or do an art trade they always tell me they don't have time, and then the next day I see them post 6-7 art trades they did with another artist.

I make fan-art or fan-music for my artist friends and they just completely ignore it.

I am planning to rework my Patreon into a game dev Patreon to help support my solo development on Melodi, and I guarantee with certainty it won't breach $300 a month.

I have spent my entire life from age 11 to age 35 just working hard to make a living off of my art and all I have earned is a reputation as "a shithead" who never gets given the opportunity to question or debate or be interviewed by the people who call me a shithead.

I'm on the verge of fizzling out.

I'm barely surviving.

And when my game comes out, some day, it may very well be the last thing you ever see from me. I may just leave the internet. I may give up and go find another life to live.

Because even though this is my dream, even though this is all I've ever wanted to do with my life, even though I'm talented and my few fans I still have love everything I make and constantly tell me that my creations are gorgeous, I just plain can't keep doing this forever. I cannot, and will not, continue to suffer alone and obscure.

Case in point: This post is gonna get 2-6 comments from the same people who comment on all my emotional posts saying "I wish I could help but I can't so here's a virtual hug," 16-25 likes and 2 reblogs. And then I'll delete the post.

[duckprintspress]

“A Truth Universally Acknowledged”: Teaser Post the 2nd

Hello hello! Happy Monday! The campaign for A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”has crossed 70%, and our power level funding level is over $9,000! Today, join us to enjoy three more story excerpts and two more trimmed art teasers!

-

Story Teaser: Rascal Hartley

Title: Trousers and Other Oddities

Excerpt:

“Miss Elizabeth,” he says, and there is something meaningful in the words.

“You’re saying my name like it’s something holy,” she accuses. “Don’t.”

“I have thought of a way to settle our disagreement.”

“Over the dog who speaks French? I thought we were quite in agreement on that.”

“On who has the easier lot.”

“Ah. Then I am listening intently.”

He is still holding the edge of the ribbon—finer by far, Elizabeth notices, than the one currently tying his own hair back—between thumb and forefinger. “What if you and I switched places for the rest of the night?”

“You will have to be more specific.”

His face is red, as if he’s saying something forbidden. “We switch clothes.” Ah. He is.

-

Art Teaser: Saro / Legendaerie

Title: “If only we had been blessed with a son.”

-

Story Teaser: Vee Sloane

Title: The Iron Rose

Excerpt:

The woman dropped her brush, looking up in wide-eyed alarm. Her eyes were the kind of deep brown that Mary had always admired—the inviting warmth of suede and leather waiting to be pulled over metal joints to soften them.

Recovering herself, the woman offered a small smile. “You must be Miss Bennet.”

“And you must be—” Mary floundered, trying to think which young lady was unaccounted for, until the very obvious answer slapped her square in the face. “You can’t be Miss Darcy.”

“Can’t I be?” Miss Darcy’s smile went from polite to almost indecently large. “I’ve been wanting to introduce myself since you arrived, but I had a bout of some illness and my brother insisted I rest. Even Lizzy won’t let me escape my rooms. I have to sneak away at night.”

“That’s terrible! Diligent work for a limited amount of time can be healing.”

“Do you think so?” Miss Darcy blinked those lovely brown eyes at her. “Most people would say I shouldn’t be down here at all. In any condition.”

“Most people are fools. I think a lady’s mech work should be as valued as her embroidery,” Mary said firmly.

-

Art Teaser: Cris Alborja

Cris Alborja has done two art pieces for this anthology; we’re sharing a teaser of one of them.

Title: Nighttime

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Story Teaser: A. L. Heard

Title: A Charmed Life

Excerpt: 

“My sister”—Henry gestured vaguely in Louise’s direction—“has solicited my attendance, which is hardly enough reason to tempt me, honestly, but I’m sometimes too indulgent.” He spoke in jest, hoping to see the handsome if solemn face light up in a smile.

It didn’t.

“I, too, come at the behest of my sister,” he said, his tone softening as he looked across the room, then sharpening once again when his gaze returned to Henry. “Though I don’t consider it a chore to indulge her.”

“And yet you stand here alone in the corner,” Henry pointed out. He offered a hand. “Henry Lucas.”

The man lifted his chin and stared down his nose at Henry’s outstretched hand. The pause was long enough that Henry was certain, if their luck were reversed and this stranger was in possession of the pocket watch, he would have told Henry off simply because he could and then completely undone the meeting, avoiding Henry so thoroughly the introduction would never happen. The thought made his heart skip a beat and heat rise in his cheeks.

-

Like what you see? Visit our campaign to check out project, read and view more excerpts, marvel at the merch, and more!

[deliriumsdelight7]

Monday Musings

I seem to be slooooowly on the road to recovery. My crops aren’t watered, per se, but they’re getting hit with a bit of morning dew. Not enough to get them thriving, but even this small improvement is miles beyond where I was.

And with that, I am going to tryyyyyy to be more present in fandom space. What I mean by that is more than simply churning out fic at an unsustainable rate, or burning the candle at both ends to run fandom events or discord servers. Burning myself out is… sort of how I’ve defined my role in fandom, which, as I’ve recently learned, is not sustainable long-term.

So what does it mean? It means posts like this, where I ramble. It means actually responding to inbox asks and AO3 comments promptly. It means taking the time to consume other writers’ fic again, instead of guilt-tripping myself into forcing more words out of my brain like an overworked tube of toothpaste. It means taking days off so fandom stops feeling like a chore, as it has for the past few years.

It means all things in moderation. It means setting myself reasonable goals and not giving up the moment I miss that goal. These are not my strong suits.

The thing I love most about fandom is the sense of community. I have a nasty tendency to think that my role in the community is to work myself to the bone churning out fic as quickly as possible, and then getting angry with myself because 20-30k words a week is simply no longer realistic for me. What I truly want is to get back to fandom as I love it. Sharing other people’s fic and art on my blog. Lifting up fellow contributors. Connecting with readers and making friends. Putting ideas and headcanons under a ship tag, instead of refusing to tag my work out of some misguided impostor syndrome bullshit that tells me my stuff doesn’t have a place.

I’m hoping, in being more present, that I can find that sense of community again. Whether for a new ship, a ship that’s slowing down, or one that was never all that big to begin with - I want to feel more connected.

Anyway. Yup. That’s my rant. I think I’ll try for a few of these types of posts a week. Not just ramblings, but also WIP progress reports, and maybe some days where I ask for recommendations for fic/art/whatever to check out.

Toodles!

[radioisntdead]

Good evenin' folks! Here's this week's schedule because I finally decided to get my act together! Yippee!

Monday - Clown reader and Susan + Alastor x Betty boop! reader

Tuesday - Clown reader + Oc content

Wednesday - Special clown angst + separate Vox song fic angst End of clown week :[

Thursday - break day [Or if I'm up to it some headcanons]

Friday - Alastor x reader daycare fic + Mama Carmilla Carmine fic

Saturday - headcanons + fics that NEVER POSTED FOR SOME FORSAKEN REASON but I edited them and now they're good to go

Sunday - Pride Valley au [And depending if my art program starts workin' again artwork may be included!]

This week has a ton of double postin' because I need to clear out my inbox and WIPs, seriously I have requests from when I started this blog and ever got too, my apologies for that by the way folks!

[anewp0tat0]

AAAAHHHHH!! CONSIDER MY SHIT FLIPPED!! THE BLACK BUTLER LIVES! What are your thoughts on the new art style?

BRO I'm with you, flipped like that pancake I managed to throw half out the pan😩 I still can't believe. best Monday every fr.

and ooo thanks for the question, I wanna hear your thoughts after this👀 I've already said a little bit about this in the tags of some other posts, as well as touched on it in my master post of the crew, but I suppose I may give a big final answer(for now, from this teaser).

judging the art alone, not the fact that we get a new anime or anything exciting like that, just the art alone... it's very pretty!

yea this is very pretty. the kid looks great, small and good, and his hair looks feathery and neat, so I approve. I think they nailed his general proportions, I think they'll do a great job at keeping them consistent during episodes! the image to the right does looks a tiny bit like a 3d asset, which is a bit jarring compared to the previous anime style, but I'm flexible towards this change. even if he looks like a video game cutscene character, I usually love cutscenes!!

but here's the drama I'm sure you're here for. yes, unfortunately, there are some wee things that I don't love as much🤏

the first thing, it really doesn't matter and I should shut up about it now... but YOU asked so ajdjfksksk why did they have to shrink sebs jaw cmon my favorite art of him ever was during the Greenwitch arc so don't tell me I'll NEVER be able to see that style of him animated😫 I just like prominent features man. I know he's meant to be pretty but but but....

ah okay. heres the main thing that I think most people may agree with.

these are two screenies of sebster from the teaser. honestly, as ☆luxurious☆ as his lashes are, I'm not a fan of the left image. the airbrush on his hair feels a tad overdone. I love the attention to detail, especially in the one on the right, it shows a lot of love! but there's just something about it that's a bit off for me.

and I think after 24 hours I've finally figured it out: it's the colors.

the realization started to hit me when I saw my favorite edit so far here by @ashxketchum. the colors have been edited to be much more saturated and warm. and I think this is exactly what is missing here.

I even tried my own hand at it, and yea personally, I think slapping a saturation, tint, and just a BIT of contrast on the whole thing can do numbers on it.

already I like it(no I'm not just praising my own work, it's not the best edit out there I did it in 30 secs). I think the reason for this is because the background is very rich in contrast and warm tones, so the characters(particularly sebastian who is all black) stand out when they are muddy and low contrast. I love stylistically when contrast is high, but that's just a personal thing, and I shouldn't hold a studio to those standards.

I tried it for the poster too though, which again I felt was a bit off. official art has never been the most top tear, and the poster is GOOD, the background is awesome and the two peeps looks amazing. but my problem with it was clear once I did another color edit.

(edit on the right)

again, I feel like everything was very muted in the left original, not to mention a tad monochromatic. I really think a kick of contrast and hue could do wonders.

BUT. I know that at the end of the day, it's not a big deal. I don't really care. would it make my day or whole year if they slapped a color filter on it, or continued to work on the color grading of the scenes? probably yea! but my opinion isn't obsolete, and most of all, I look forward to and respect the artists decisions.

so no I'm not "fixing" the art😅😒.

and finally, I think this is awesome:

(I had forgotten but this gif is edited by @kilruas from this post)

GORGEOUS. could it turn some people off cause it's mostly cg? maybe. idc though. gorgeous. gimme some of that beverage.

sorry for the rant, hope it's what you wanted! I think that's everything... I like it 85%!

[dodger-sister]

Last Thursday I called in sick to physical therapy. I told them I had Fairitis. Receptionist laughed & said, “I had that yesterday.” 😆. We go to look at the animals & the art &, of course, eat fair food.

For some reason people kept offering to let me pet/hold their animals! First a very nice 10-ish year old girl approached & asked if I wanted to hold her chicken. Which I did indeed. In all my years around farms, I’ve never actually *held* a chicken. She told us a lot of information about chickens, was very knowledgeable and very polite. She had won first place for her chickens - the one I was holding, and then also she had the largest chicken I have ever seen in my life. She explained to us that even though it wasn’t an egg chicken, they fed it really good food that you would normally only feed to an egg chicken and that’s how it got so big. It made me wonder - and if anyone involved with 4H knows this - do the judges just judge based on the animal or do they talk to the child as well and judge also based on how knowledgeable the child is about the animal’s care? Because if that’s the case, no wonder this young lady won a couple of first place prizes.

Then we were walking through the bunnies and a girl who was about 8 years old was sitting, holding her bunny, and offered me to hold it. It was called a lionhead bunny. Not only had I never seen one, I’d never heard of one. I was so busy holding it, I forgot to get a photo. But search lionhead bunny on the Internet because they are the coolest looking rabbits I’ve ever seen.

Later when we were at the goats, I was taking some photos of some baby goats in the pen and the grandpa was sitting there and he said , “I’ll let them out. You can give them some pets.” He told us he used to come to the fair and when he would see certain kids weren’t able to sell their goats, he would offer to buy them, just to be nice. But then he said that goats are so funny and entertaining, that he really got into them. And when his grandson had to come live with them, the grandson got into 4H. So he went from being a 4H supporter to a 4H parent.

And when we were walking through the horse area and there was a horse in the way, and the teenager was trying to move him to the side to get out of the way of my wheelchair, and we were allowed to pet the horse.

And of course, we looked at all of the art and photography. As an artist, I love all of that stuff. (Posted some photos of the art on my FB, but not putting any here because Tumblr is a reblog site & it’s not my art. Animals are fair game though. Get it, *fair* game?)

Also, there was this plant and a group of people walking in front of us and all of a sudden the plant moved and reached out towards them and started to speak. The people in front of us jumped so high and screamed so loud. It was hysterical! Turned out there was a guy in that plant and the whole thing was a costume that he and his wife made together. He was just standing there, startling people as they walked by. He was super nice. He talked to us about his costume and let me have a photo with him.

And then we ate fair food and went home. It was perfect weather last Thursday. We were initially gonna go on Monday because that was also a work from home day for Sis, but the weather had been terrible. But on Thursday I got up and it was absolutely gorgeous and I said, “Screw physical therapy. We’re going to the fair. I want funnel cake!”

[dollarbin]

Mitchell Mondays #1:

Woman of Heart and Mind

I've avoided writing about Joni Mitchell so far for plenty of good reasons. She's too good, too complicated and too obvious.

What's more, I've never encountered a single piece of journalism about Mitchell that I found compelling: I recently thumbed through a new book about her by some NPR critic and found nothing whatsoever of interest or depth. Yeah, we all know: Little Green is biographical. Thanks for pointing that out.

Even Neil Young, in his heyday, was unable to sing about Joni in a way that lived up to her depth and power:

The song is cute. But Joni Mitchell is not cute. She's actually kinda terrifying; like Athena enforcing peace at the end of The Odyssey, we worship her because we basically have no choice.

But I own and deeply appreciate every record Mitchell made up through the 80's and it's high time I grabbed a sword, chugged some strong wine and ordered my men to row towards Joni Island. Like with Sandy Denny, we'll consider her work one song as a time.

Why one song at a time? Because that's my deal during this self declared Nickel Bin week. And because how the hell am I ever gonna sum up the greatness of Hissing of Summer Lawns or Blue in a single post? And because I'm a wimp.

Let's start with Woman of Heart and Mind, a brief track that's easy to snooze through if you are not paying attention. It took me a long time to begin appreciating the album around the song, For the Roses; I claimed it for a dollar in 1993, took a moment to deeply appreciated the fantastic inner photo of Joni's rear end, and then understood none of the music within it. Where were the hits? Where was the crazy? Plus, if she'd needed a rock and roll band for a single song, why the hell did she summon Stephen Stills?

But I was 17 years old at that point and wrong about everything, obviously. The entire record is rich and bold. And Woman of Heart and Mind is one of its many soulful mind crushers.

I dare you to actually concentrate and listen to the lyrics of this song. Don't be fooled by the title or the patient pacing; this is not a Carole King-style comfy feminist empowerment number.

Rather the song is downright brutal; and when Joni drops a huge and crude f-bomb midway through the track (yeah, she's saying what you think she's saying: you and some strangers do some fornicating) I get downright terrified. The naked lady on the gatefold sounds like she's gonna kick my teensy ass.

Did you do it? Did you actually listen to all the terrifying directives and descriptors Joni Mitchell just hurled at you?

Listen, you don't have to literally follow her advice. It's up to you whether or not you drive your bargains, push your papers, win your medals and, gulp, get to know (in the biblical sense) some strangers. 'Cuz doing so sounds terrifying.

And I'm truly sorry for inducing such terror during our first Mitchell Monday.

But, after all, terror can make for great art, especially when you find it in the Dollar Bin.

[zukkathirst]

Q. As an artist, how can I post porn in an era of banned male-presenting nipples? :(

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There's a hundred guides to writing erotica on the internet, and tons of explicit photos you can use as body shape/portion reference points if you've never written anything before. We used this one to compile our prompts (heads up, it's SERIOUSLY nsfw). The first step is to think back to other NSFW content you've seen and enjoyed. Why did you like it? What aspects about it did you appreciate? The lighting? The pose? The prose? Why not read some existing stories/look at some existing art (and leave a comment for our sister commenter prize event!) and draw understanding from some of the gorgeous works people in this fandom have already contributed?

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[mmmichyyy]

a.u.gust 2023 - day 4: teacher(s)

1.5k words of shop teacher!mickey & school nurse!ian @gallavichthings 🖤 posted on ao3 too!

Faculty meetings are–in Mickey’s opinion–the bane of his entire existence. Completely unnecessary, redundant, a total bore. Just send it in an email for god’s sake. Especially when the meetings are scheduled at the ungodly hour of eight on Monday mornings, an entire half an hour before he usually arrives at school. Well, twenty-nine minutes, to be exact - if the first class starts at eight-thirty and it takes him a minute to rush from the parking lot to the shop classroom, then he’ll show up right as the bell rings, not a minute more.

Except the new bright-eyed and bushy-tailed principal went to some new-age educational conference over the summer and came back brimming with ideas of bonding and connecting amongst faculty members. How important it was to foster a community and create an open forum and a safe space for communication–her words, not Mickey’s. 

As if any of the underpaid teachers give a flying fuck about any of that. None of them would've gone to the first meeting and continued to attend week after week without the bribe of free bagels and the not-so-subtle suggestion of possibly taking away the one good vending machine from the teacher’s lounge. The threat of losing easily accessible corn nuts and milk duds really was the reason why every person working at this underfunded Southside high school had to suffer through thirty minutes of mandatory torture every week. 

Mickey worked there for two years and never laid eyes on half the staff at the school or knew anyone’s name until these meetings. He stays in the shop classroom all day, makes sure none of the students drill a hole through their hand or cut themselves on a hacksaw, then goes home. But now, everyone from the basketball coach to the art teacher to even the goddamn janitor had to attend and endure the principal babbling about upcoming school events and ways to improve the school–like time and resources aren’t already limited as it is. 

What a colossal waste of time, Mickey grumbles to himself, as he strolls through the main doors of the school after smashing snooze multiple times on his alarm clock and begrudgingly getting his ass out of bed. 

At least his on-the-fritz coffee machine decided to work today, or else he may be prone to commit murder without caffeine this early in his system. 

But to Mickey’s luck, he doesn’t get two steps into the foyer before slipping on an invisible wet patch on the linoleum floor, crashing forward into what his mind registers for a split-second as a moving wall, which he practically bounces off of, if it's even possible to bounce off a solid surface. The impact causes him to stumble backwards and nearly collide against the glass trophy display case. 

“Fu– watch where you’re going!” 

“Oh shit, are you okay??” 

Mickey rolls his shoulders with a groan. Just as he’s about to unleash hell, he looks up to a pair of worried green eyes staring right at him. Turns out the walls aren’t out to get him - not this time at least - it’s a person. Not just any person, a man who is built like a fucking brick barricade with a firm taut body and fierce red hair that nearly causes Mickey’s jaw to drop in surprise.

“Uh…” Words. What are words? He didn’t hit his head, did he? Why can’t his mind form coherent thoughts?

Unaware of Mickey’s temporary brain daze, the redhead continues to ramble in an apologetic voice, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been blocking the entrance, it’s my first day and I’m a bit lost–”

“It’s fine,” Mickey mumbles, cutting the guy off. Not that he cares if he’s late to the faculty meeting, but he needs to not be here right now. But before he can make a quick exit–

“Do you know where the teacher’s lounge is?” 

Huh. A new teacher. With a body like that? Probably another meathead coach, Mickey thinks. To save his ego from continuing to make a fool of himself, Mickey wordlessly nods towards the east hallway, silently signalling the man to follow him. The man does, a bit too enthusiastically, much to Mickey’s chagrin.

Mickey hopes Clifford the Big Red Dog isn’t a talker. The teacher’s lounge is at the end of the hall around the corner and there’s only so much conversation Mickey can handle early in the morning. Especially after sustaining a possible phantom head injury. Especially after almost falling flat on his face in front of someone who looks like that.

But you know what they say about hope - it breeds eternal misery.

“Never thought I’d be back at high school,” the man chuckles. “But I saw the job posting online and thought, what the hell? Might be fun.”

Fun is definitely not the word Mickey would use to describe working at a high school. The very high school he dropped out from, actually. Life has a twisted sense of humour sometimes, but he’s made his peace with his current reality a long time ago.

“Are you a teacher here?” the man presses on.

Mickey grunts as a response. Quickens his pace, but the man doesn’t take the hint.

“What do you teach?” 

Only a few steps left... 

“Shop class.”

“Oh cool! I’m the new–” 

“There you are, Mr. Milkovich.” Ms. Tinsley, the principal, peeks her head out of the door to the teacher’s lounge. Looks behind Mickey and beams. “And Mr. Gallagher! I’m glad you’re here, I was starting to worry you might’ve gotten lost.”

Gallagher? Mickey furrows his brows. The name sounds vaguely familiar, but then again - half the Irish population in Chicago probably has the same last name. 

“I was, but then I bumped into Mr. Milkovich here and he led the way.” Gallagher flashes Mickey a grin, and Mickey tries to ignore the somersault flip inside his chest. “Hope I’m not too late.”

Ms. Tinsley shakes her head. “You’re just in time, I was just about to start the meeting.” She turns to Mickey. “Mr. Gallagher here is replacing Mrs. Farris since she’s gone into early retirement. Fell down the stairs and broke her hip, the poor thing. ” 

Retirement? Mickey doesn’t remember seeing any of the sports coaches being geriatric enough to retire. Or maybe he’s not paying enough attention to the stupid faculty meetings.

Seeing the confusion on his face, Ms. Tinsley adds, “Mrs. Farris, the school nurse.” 

A lightbulb clicks in Mickey’s head. Must’ve been the grouchy old woman with the Q-tip head and a permanent scowl on her face he used to see roaming the halls. He just assumed it was someone’s grandma who had gotten loose from the senior home and got her rocks off yelling at anyone in her way. Did the old bat fall down the stairs or was she pushed? The latter seems more plausible.

“Anyway,” Ms. Tinsley continues, “Mr. Gallagher here will be taking over as the new school nurse. I might get him to teach a couple health classes too, god knows these crazy kids need proper sex health education!” Both she and Gallagher laugh while Mickey cringes.

“I’d be glad to,” Gallagher replies with a smile. Glances at Mickey out of the corner of his eye. “Sex education is very important.”

No. Not today. Nope. Mickey slips past the principal through the door and quickly plops down on his usual seat in the back corner, silently praying the heat he feels under his skin isn’t reflective of how red his cheeks are. What the hell has gotten into him? 

And because the universe is fucking with him, the only empty seat left is directly beside him. Mickey stares straight ahead and pointedly avoids Gallagher’s gaze as the principal starts the meeting.

“First thing on the agenda: the school bake sale! Who wants to volunteer?”

“Hey,” Gallagher whispers in a low voice, so only Mickey can hear him above the surrounding chatter, “my first name’s Ian by the way.” Leans in close, hot breath fanning Mickey’s ear, sending a shiver down Mickey’s spine. “Maybe you can show me around sometime?”

Mickey should ignore him. Ian. Pretend to be fascinated by fundraisers or pep rallies or whatever the fuck Ms. Tinsley is droning on about. Definitely not focus on the hopeful tone in his voice. Tell Ian to fuck off and leave him alone, like everyone else in the school has learned to do.

But maybe Mickey woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Or the right one? Or he’s in an alternate reality? Or maybe someone drugged his coffee this morning? 

Or maybe it’s his lucky day?

Because against his better judgement, Mickey angles his head to the side. Pretends to be nonchalant and shrugs in agreement. Tries to bite down his own smile from seeing the way Ian’s face entirely lights up, all eager and warm and full of light.

Maybe eternal misery isn’t the only outcome to spring from hope.

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2024

It’s always a weird moment when you realize another year is about to draw to a close. Did I know that it was almost 2025? Yes. Did I fully realize, writing this on the 29th of December 2024, that the year 2024 literally would only last like two more days? Nope. Not at all. Somehow the future is always closer than I think it is.

But is that necessarily a bad thing? I don’t think it is. I, for one, am quite excited to get into this new year. Besides, I always love the end of the year and the start of a new one. It is both a time of reflection (which I greatly enjoy – there’s a reason I always make these yearly posts) and a time of new beginnings, and I can’t help but feel optimistic as I consider the potential that a fresh start could hold.

The Beginning of 2024 vs Now

Maybe the reason for my optimism is the progress I made in the last year. When this year started, I was working a job I disliked, and struggled to find my way as a newly-employed adult. Full-time employment was a challenge in its own right, what with the little amount of free time I suddenly had, but the fact that I hated my job didn’t necessarily help matters. I remember feeling insecure and helpless, not really knowing what I was doing or how to change my life in a way that would make me enjoy it again. My confidence took a hit, and I remember how I would constantly try to think of ways out of this corporate life. What if I wrote a book and got rich? Then I’d never have to work again. What if I became a famous youtuber? What if I could sell my art? Every day when I went to work, all I wanted was to find a way to get away from there.

As for my personal life… well, I felt pressured to work hard on my skills to find a way to get good enough to do them professionally, which led to a lot of stress. I remember thinking that no matter what I did, I just didn’t seem to have enough time to do the things I felt I should to and the things I wanted to, and also have a social life on top of that. And to be fair, I still don’t have that balance figured out exactly, but the stress I felt at work and the stress I placed upon myself to perform after work really made for an exhausting existence, not to mention the fact that I also had to follow a course with homework that took almost a full day each weekend. It’s no wonder I wasn’t exactly thriving at the start of the year

And now?

Now I have a job that I actually enjoy. My colleagues are fun to be around, and on most days, time passes fairly quickly. I have enough to do, I have something to occupy myself with, and at the end of the day I go home feeling satisfied with the work I did. That doesn’t mean that I’m always excited to go to work. I’m still sad when the weekend is over, I still don’t want to get out of bed when my alarm rings in the morning, but I don’t dread it anymore, and once I’m there I don’t actually mind being there. Now, it’s just that I’d rather do other things, and that is such an important difference to me. It may not sound like much to some, but a year ago, I genuinely didn’t think it would be possible for me to find a job that I liked, or even one that I could live with. To me, this is honestly the best case scenario, because it means I don’t have to escape the corporate life anymore to be happy. I don’t have this impossible mission anymore. Instead, I can just… live my life.

My personal life has drastically improved as well because this change. Now, I can live the weekends free of dread and worry for Monday. My free time is actually mine, and I can enjoy it without even having to think about work, which is probably the biggest improvement. I also no longer feel the need to stress myself out over devoting myself to an alternate future. I still struggle with finding a balance between social life and personal life, balancing my chores with my various hobbies, and constantly feeling like I don’t have enough time to do everything I want, but I’m in a place now where I can finally take the time to find this balance. Finally, my personal life doesn’t have to take the back seat anymore, and I can’t describe how much my life has improved because of that.   

The Best Things about 2024

Despite the rough start, I can actually name several things that were great about this year! The most important one is the personal development and growth I’ve gone through this year. I followed a course on personal development that really taught me a lot, not only about myself and what I want and need, but it also about life in general. It taught me the value of living in the moment. It taught me how to trust myself, and showed me how much more capable I became when I did. It showed me how often I still get caught up in my own thoughts, and showed me how freeing it could be to stop worrying and start doing. I’m the type of person that even worries that I’m getting personal development wrong. With every step I take, I am cautious, because I’m so afraid of getting it wrong, crossing my own boundaries, overextending myself, making a mistake that will damage me irrevocably or something like that… and honestly the most freeing advice I’ve gotten this year is that all of that… is okay. That sometimes you have to cross a boundary to even find out where it is. And though I’m still scared, I'm doing my best to take that advice to heart, and just… do what I feel is right, even if I get it wrong. Even if it hurts and even if it sucks, I’ll still grow, and I’ll better for it.

And some things did suck. I went through a period where I wasn’t really on great terms with a close friend, and it sucked! But I did learn a very important lesson there too: that I can trust myself, even if others do not. Everyone, ultimately, experiences everything differently, and just because someone else’s experience differs from mine, doesn’t mean that mine is no longer valid. I used to live life needing validation from this friend for every choice I made, because I didn’t trust myself to get things “right.” Now I know there is no one objective “right” way to do things, and that if I cannot do the “right” thing, I might as well do what I believe is right. So even though it sucked, this experience taught me an important lesson that I hope I’ll carry with me for a long time.

Okay, now for the more lighthearted and happy part of this pitch, because I did say I was able to name several great things that happened this year, and name them I shall!

The first thing that pops up in my head is ARTMS! My girls ARTMS finally debuted this year after the disbandment of LOONA in 2023, and boy did they deliver! Their title track exceeded all my expectations and their album was everything I'd hoped for! It was literally the perfect debut for me, and I can say with full confidence that they are now my new favorite girlgroup (sorry Loossemble)! And to make matters even better, I actually got to see them LIVE in Cologne in October! After just barely missing Haseul at the LOONA concert in 2022, meeting her and the other girls of ARTMS was a dream come true, and that night was probably one of the best nights of the year! I’m even sitting right in front of her in the picture we took, it was literally perfect!

And talking about meeting celebrities, I also got to meet Matt Mercer this year! It was awesome to get my picture taken with him, and I even got him to sign a picture for me. It’s always so surreal to meet someone you admire and look up to, and it was amazing to meet him and have a conversation with him!

Another cool thing that happened this year is that I actually got to try out voice acting in a professional studio! I'd once applied for an internship there, and though I never actually got it, they did invite me to come to their voice acting trials, which meant that I actually got to try out voice acting in a professional setting, which was amazing! It was terrifying and exciting and even though I’m now quite certain that voice acting is not for me (at least not in the industry of Dutch Dubbing), it was such an awesome experience that I wouldn’t have wanted to miss. I'd been so nervous, but the exileration of actually doing it and acting and singing in front of professionals and getting good feedback was unlike anything I'd felt in a while! I still remember standing outside after having just done that, and realizing for the first time since finishing my studies that I'd actually reached a point where I didn't want to go back to that time anymore. I realised that I’d grown too much since then to want to go back to being the person I used to be. I was finally ready to look to the future and find something even better.

After that, I started finding joy in challenging myself and tried to do more things that were not only fun but also a bit challenging. I accepted a solo part in my choir performance (which was also a highlight of the year) even though I was nervous to sing for an audience. I love singing and letting my voice be heard, so I said yes. I also said yes to being a dungeon master when my family asked me to. It scared me to be a dungeon master because I was afraid of getting things wrong, but I did always want to try and see if I liked it, so I said yes. I also travelled to a different country without my mom or dad for the first time, which was another milestone for me. And I went to Walibi fight nights to experience several haunted houses. Was it terrifying? Yes. Was it also the best time I’d had in a long time? Also yes. Totally worth it.

As for the smaller joys of life, there were plenty of those as well. I bought myself a switch, a new gaming monitor and a PlayStation 5, allowing me to finally release the inner gamer in me. I started spending more time with my siblings. I did a 24 hour readathon in which I managed to finish three books in a single day (which might be a new record). I created some cool drawings. All the SHINee members released new music. I discovered a new favorite band. I baked brownies. Life was good.

My Resolutions for 2024?

Okay, so now it’s time to see if I managed to complete all my resolutions this year. The resolutions are always my favorite part, and since I’ve already written quite a lot of words in the previous sections, let’s just jump straight into it!

Life goals

Save money. I want to have reached my goal in at least two of my savings accounts, I want to be halfway to my goal in at least 4 accounts total, and want have saved at least 1/6th of my goal in my emergency backup fund – Success! I’ve reached my goal in more than four accounts and have saved 1/5th of my goal in the emergency fund, so I’d say that is more than enough

Buy a car. – I put this on the list last time because it was something I was working towards. I did actually almost buy a car, but eventually chose not too because it wasn’t the right fit. Now I still don’t have a car, but I do still have the money I saved for it, so I would count this as a partial success as it will make it significantly easier to buy one whenever I do decide to get one.

Move out. – Unfortunately, housing is kind of a problem in this day and age. I’m looking hard, but I haven’t been able to secure a place to live just yet.

Keep going to the gym, lose some fat, and build some muscle! For my surgery, I have to lose around 5 kilograms before April, so, to give myself an actual measurable goal: I want to weigh less than 70 kg in April, and around 65 kg by the end of the year. As for the muscle… I’ll count on pictures document my progress there! – big success! I weighed 68 kg in April and currently weigh a little over 65 kg. As for the muscle, I don’t have pictures to show it, but I’m like 99% certain my biceps have grown.

Writing Goals

Finish writing a draft for the first half of my book. If anything, I think I probably should have written at least 8 chapters. Maybe 10… - I know this happens every year, but I completely gave up on writing once again. I don’t know what it is, but every time I start I just… get overwhelmed and quit. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, it’s just that writing takes a lot of effort, and I usually prefer to spend my free time relaxing instead of “working.” That’s not to say I will never pick it back up, but at the moment it’s just not a priority, and I don’t want to force myself to do something when I don’t feel like it’s the right time for it. I do want to try to find the joy in writing again sometime, and I do definitely want to face and overcome whichever obstacles are holding me back from doing that, but forcing myself to write really just isn’t working. I think taking the pressure off might actually be more productive.

Build a habit of writing – Yeah, another fail. For the same reasons as mentioned above.

Reading Goals

Read 24 books! This year, I’m going to set my reading challenge at 24 books. It’s a bit of a random number, one book less than my previous goal, but 24 a year means exactly two books a month, and that feels reasonable!  - Finished my 24th book today!

I still want to work on trying to reduce the amount of unread books I own. I think I’ll make a list of 10 books I own now that I want to have read by the end of the year. Those books are going to be: The Hero of Ages, The Anatomy of Story, Rule of Wolves, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality, Cress, If We Were Villains, The Dawn of Yangchen, Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane, Gregor and the Curse of the Warmbloods and The Fault in Our Stars - I finished all of these!

Read more non-fiction books and classics on my phone! I want to have purchased and read at least 3 books on my phone! – Fail… I read one of them! But then I lost interest in the second book I was reading because it required to much focus to be read on public transport… and I kind of didn’t want to read it. So yeah, fail there….

Read 4 classics! – I didn’t read a single one. Did buy one though. It’s going on the list for next year

Finish 5 series! – I finished 4 of the series I set for myself, so almost!

Finish my Heroes of Olympus Reread – I decided to focus on unread books instead this year, so unfortunately I did not read any Heroes of Olympus books

Art Goals

Finish the character poster of my own D&D character! I already have the frame ready, and it’s starting to look so cool. I really want to finish this drawing as soon as I can! – Success! It turned out pretty cool

Finish at least 1 of the two art projects that I have planned for my D&D group – unfortunately I didn’t finish any of them

Draw 5 digital character posters – Okay, I didn’t exactly draw the posters that I meant to draw when I wrote this goal, but since I also said I wanted to improve my digital art skills and draw characters, I will count this as a success. This year, I made 5 drawings of the characters from my D&D party wearing various silly hats, and though it started off as a joke, those drawings actually turned out really well and I was very proud of them, so I am counting this one as a success!

Finally use the paint my grandparents gave me last year, and make a painting – It saddens me that I still haven’t done this. I need to block out a day for this so I actually do it!

Fill 2-5 pages in my physical sketchbook with coloured drawings, using the new coloured pencils I bought this month. I bought these pencils for a reason. I want to learn how to use them – I haven’t even picked up these pencils all year… another thing I need to plan a day for. I won’t give up!

Other Goals

Finish 5 games. I’m once again going to try to finish Subnautica: Below Zero and Skyrim, since it’s starting to bother me that I still haven’t yet. I definitely want to finish Baldur’s Gate. I also want to finish my replay of Detroit: Become Human. As for the final game… I don’t know. Maybe if I ever come into the possession of a PlayStation 5, I’ll finally get to play Spider-Man 2! If not, we’ll see! I’m sure I’ll find a nice game that I really want to finish next year! – Yes to Below Zero, Detroit: Become Human and Spider-Man 2! No to Baldur’s Gate and still no to Skyrim. I won’t give up!

Actually properly check out the Doctor Who audio adventures – I totally forgot about this goal….

So that is 6 successes, 3 half-successes, and 10 failures… Not the best ratio, but I think where I went wrong this year was setting too many goals. Throughout the year, I kept getting stressed and burnt out feeling like I never had enough time to do anything in my time off. The thing is, even though it’s true that I have less time for hobbies than I used to, I still have plenty of time to myself. The real issue is that during that time, I struggle to enjoy a lot of it because I’m to preoccupied with arbitrary time limits that I put on myself. But really, does it matter that much if finishing a book or a game takes longer than I thought? Does it really matter whether I finish that book this year or next year? In that sense, I think changing my perspective is actually what is going to make the difference. Being more productive and reading more books is never going to get rid of that stress because there will always be more books, more games, more things to finish. Doing more isn’t the solution. So I want to see what happens if I do less.

I think it’s time to accept that I simply have less time for my hobbies than I used to. A year ago that thought would’ve deeply saddened me, but right now, it feels kinda freeing. My life is still good when I am not reading a book or playing a game, and I want to enjoy those moments more without worrying about the books I am not finishing. I want to enjoy connecting with people, going outside, investing in my body and in the environment, try new things. And when I do have some time to myself, I want to be able to simply experience the joy of reading a book or playing a game – or making some art if I feel like it – without feeling the pressure of achieving something. I think that will be my biggest goal for 2025.

Expectations for 2025

Oh boy, I haven’t actually given this much thought yet. I truly don’t really know what to expect from the next year, but I’m going to give this my best shot.

In 2025 I’ll officially sign a new contract directly with my current employer (instead of an intermediary) which will last for the entire year! So on the job front, I’m not actually expecting much change this year. I will earn a bit more money, but that will be the only significant change on the job front, and I’m completely fine with that. I have no intention of leaving any time soon, and I’m not looking for any new challenges this year. I’m hoping 2025 can be the year of settling in, finding that work-life balance and focusing on enjoying life.

And talking about enjoying life, I already have several concerts and outings planned for 2025! I’ll go to Dan and Phil and Porter Robinson in February, the PlayStation concert in April, and Stray Kids in the summer! I’m quite excited for these. Especially Stray Kids, since they are a group I never really expected to be able to see live!

I’m also planning to go on a trip to Paris with @the-official-pentacorn and @asiandutchgirl in march, so I think that will happen, and then hopefully I’ll be able to take some time off in June and September/October as well! I also hope that I’ll actually be able to find a house and move out this year, though I couldn’t say when I think this will happen… I think either it will happen very soon, like in the first month of the year, or somewhere halfway, when I’ve had more time to look around and find something. I also heard rumors that ARTMS is working on a new album, so I’ll look forward to that too!

And finally, my biggest expectation is also the last one: phalloplasty. When I got on the waiting list for phalloplasty, I calculated that if everything went as planned, I’d be off the waiting list in December 2025. Which means that, if everything goes well, I might have my surgery date by the end of the year. I don’t think I’ll actually have had the surgery itself before the end of the year, but I am expecting to have a date by then. Possibly in January? That would be a nice full-circle moment after the last surgery, which also took place in January. I’ll be honest, it is kind of scary to think that surgery is actually getting so close, since it’s such an intense surgery. Still, the sooner I get it over with the better. The thought of not having that dysphoria anymore… it would make everything worth it.

2025 Resolutions

Okay, so like I said, this year I want to focus on simply enjoying life. I’ve been way to stressed about productivity, optimizing my time, and I feel like it’s slowly breaking me down from the inside. I’m constantly exhausted, and feel disappointed in myself whenever I’ve “wasted” another hour.

This year, I want to let go of all of that. I don’t know how to break that down into a manageable resolution, but I just want to put that out there. I think, actually, that the best way to translate that into my resolutions is to just set fewer, smaller, more manageable goals. Kind of in a “less is more” type of way.

This year, let’s just have fun and try to sit back, relax, and enjoy life. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to challenge myself at all! In fact, I feel like on average there is actually a lot of fun I miss out on because I'm too afraid to either fail or stand out. This year, I want to challenge myself to try new things that I think I'd enjoy regardless of whether or not I think I'd be good at it. I also want to see if I can learn to enjoy challenge for what it is, and learn that I don’t have to be good at it immediately to enjoy it or get some kind of value from it.

Still, these challenges can be as big or small as I want it to be, and this year I want to focus on the small ways I can challenge myself. For example:

Playing a game at a higher difficulty than normal to really challenge my gaming skills, but also lower the difficulty when I get frustrated and it doesn’t work out. Trying something “difficult” is a challenge I’d usually rather avoid, but I also have to learn that not succeeding at something “difficult” doesn’t mean I’m a failure and that I suck.

Finally painting on that canvas! I’m scared to do it because I don’t want to mess up and ruin it, but if I don’t use it… well my grandparents gave me that gift for nothing. Plus, I think it could be really fun, because I do like painting.

Sometimes the small steps are just as important as the big ones, and for me, not caring about being good at things might actually be the biggest challenge I can set myself. So I want to challenge myself to just… do things and have fun.

Still, I will be setting some resolutions, because I do appreciate having a little bit of a goal and direction. So without further ado, here are my goals for 2025!

Life Goals:

Move out. I’m getting closer to my goal each year, and now, for the first time since I first wrote down this goal as a resolution a few years ago, it actually feels manageable. I have the money, I know what I want and where to look for it. All I need is to find the right place (and have a little bit of luck)

Get a surgery date for phalloplasty. This is not something I can actively work towards, but phalloplasty is a life goal regardless, and I hope I can get a little bit closer to that goal this year

Wear a tank top in summer. I want to keep working out to the point that I feel confident enough to wear a tank top this summer and show off my arms. In a way, this is just another way of saying I want to keep working out, but even if my muscles don’t grow the way I want them to, I hope I can find the confidence to show off my arms regardless

Reading Goals:

Read 10 books! This year, I’m drastically lowering my reading challenge. The pressure of having to read 2 books a month really made me dislike the reading challenge this year, and I don’t want to repeat that. I just want to enjoy reading.

Finish all my unread books. One challenge I did enjoy in 2024 was the challenge I set myself to read all the unread books I currently own! As of this moment, I only own ten more books that I haven’t read yet, and I want to have finished those books by the end of 2025 (hence the number 10 for my reading challenge). To make this goal more measurable for next year, the books I want to finish are:

20000 Leagues Under the Sea

Darkhearts

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: The Druid’s Call

If This Gets Out

This Book Kills

Dune

1984

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Percy Jackson: Wrath of the Triple Goddess

Winter (Lunar Chronicles book 4)

Creative goals:

Finish one D&D art project! I have a plan for a drawing in mind… now I just have to actually make it!

Use my unused art materials! This is kind of an extension of the two goals I failed last years, but I really want to make sure that this year, I use each of the art materials I didn't use last year at least once! I want to:

Use the paint my grandparents gave me two years ago. I really hope it's not too late and the paint still works. If not... well they gave me another painting set this year, so I will try that one out instead then!

Draw one drawing using my colored pencils. It really would be a shame if I bought them only for them to collect dust, so I want to use them at least once this year!

Sing and let my voice be heard. I realised recently that I really enjoy singing, both on my own and in front of people, but I'm always kind of afraid to do it because I'm afraid of a. making mistakes and sounding horrible and b. taking up that space. Taking up space is a challenge for me regardless, but since I want these resolutions to be measurable goals I think that nurturing my singing and challenging myself in this way will be a great way to practice doing that. So this year, I want to either take singing lessons or record a full cover of a song and post it online.

Gaming goals:

Finish 5 games! I will also make a list of which 5 games I want to finish specifically, but I will list that as a separate goal this time. This year, as long as I finish 5 games in total, I will count this goal as a success, regardless of which games they are. As long as I had fun playing them, that’s all that matters!

Now for the specific list of games I’m hoping to finish this year! This is mostly to give myself direction and a list of games to prioritize, but if I find another game in between that I really want to play, I won’t stop myself from playing that game. Still, these are the games that are currently highest on my priority list, and that I would like to finish the most:

Skyrim (I will keep putting this one on the list until I finally finish it)

Baldur’s Gate 3

God of War (PS4)

Horizon: Zero Dawn

Heavy Rain

God of War and Horizon: Zero Dawn are special cases on this list, in the sense that I would prefer to have finished them both before April if possible. As I mentioned earlier, I’m going to a PlayStation concert in April, and since these are both iconic titles for the PlayStation, I want to know both games and their soundtrack before the concert, as I am expecting them both to feature in it! Still, should I end up short on time, I don’t necessarily have to have finished both before the concert. Simply having played them for a while would also be enough

10 goals. Still a decent amount, but nowhere near the 19 goals I set last year. I really hope that setting fewer goals and taking my time to meet them is going to help me relax a little bit next year. I’m looking forward to playing my games and reading my books and just taking my time with it. After all, anything I can’t finish in 2025, I can always get back to in 2026!

So there you have it! Another year done, another yearly post written. After a challenging year of self-discovery and new insights, I hope I’ll be able to take what I’ve learned and find a balance in life that works for me! But that is all still in the future. For now, all I need to find is a bed to lie down and sleep in. Thank you so much for reading this post, whoever you are, and I hope 2025 will be as fun and relaxed for you as it will (hopefully) be for me!

[city-tickles]

Wasn't your initial idea to post MOSTLY f/m content to restore the imbalance between f/m and ..../f content? Now you seem like not following that idea at all...:(

Hi!

This caught me off guard but I’m going to try my best to answer this and hopefully not come off rude.

1. I apologize if you feel slighted by the lack of F/M content. I also am confused where you heard that because that was never my goal. I didn’t have any goals. Unless I forgot, I didn’t create any goals. I just liked posting. People started requesting things and I never stopped answering them. I never opened a request ask. I figured answering a couple was no big deal and now I get a lot of requests and messages, some nice, some that are out there, some with men flirting with me when I have said many times I am not into it. Etc. if I have any goal, it’s what’s in my bio. Meet cool people especially in nyc and hopefully get to play.

2. Restore the imbalance makes me sound like Thanos and that’s kind of funny.

3. I believe that is not true. The page might get flooded with requests but sometimes that comes in waves. It’s /f requests, or /m requests, sometimes I can do both when it’s blank but I can’t always do both. Another thing I’ve said a few times is: I don’t have the equivalent for genders for each request. It’s either not out there or very hard to find.

I don’t know if anyone ever noticed but I have a schedule outside of request that goes

Monday - /m tickling clip (Ticklish Male Monday)

Tuesday - Mainstream clip (alternates between /f and /m weekly. This is a little hard because sometimes both area are lacking)

Wednesday - Free Space (sometimes a mainstream picture)

Thursday - /f clip

Friday - Tickle Art Friday (alternates between /f and /m and is really difficult a lot of the time)

So that means I post a new to newish male clip every week. And the past few have all been f/m. My M/M ones get flagged harder for some reason and they’re also not great.

I have life outside of tickling but when I do check the sites or do searches, I do a lot of searches for new f/m clips and a lot of them are the same. A dom and a nude guy and he gets pleasured at the end. I can’t post that. If the laugh is really good, then I will do my best to crop around it but most of the time in my opinion, they’re not good. I could start posting the ones I think are fake or duds because it is subjective.

For m/m clips, I have to get lucky because they’re nude 99% of the time or in a position I can’t post or they’re all from MyFriendsFeet and I don’t love just taking this person’s clips especially if they are still active.

Also, the reality is there just isn’t enough of the content that I can post here. I am lucky to have some content but I can’t make it up if it’s not there and I do my best to not take from sites that are still active or clips that are pretty recent.

I’m sorry this was so long and I hope this clears things up for you any anyone else who may be upset with the blog for some reason.

I like to end with a video but my friend here does a lot of f/m so check her out if you are able to

[zee-rambles]

Just wanted to let you know that I admire you providing resources for people to try and save rise still. I also feel like I'm alone at times in putting forth efforts despite everything. :) I often reference your post to spread the word, and every monday on a server I mod is now a SaveRiseMonday, with two things people can do to save Rise. Keep it up, I also won't lose hope!

Thank you!

It’s good to hear that I’m inspiring people. All I know is that I’m so tired of good shows getting cancelled, studios and artists taking risks and not getting rewarded while cash grabs with no passion (like live action Disney remakes) get tons of support. When Dark Crystal: AOR got cancelled, I didn’t try to fight for it. But comparing the two experiences, I know that Rise has more of a fighting chance!

This keeps happening to me. Where I find something I love and it is cancelled, obscure, no ones knows about it, I’m the only one supporting the artist, or (something I find incredibly childish) people judge you for liking it and don’t give it a chance.

Thank you so much for doing your part. Results only matter if we have enough fans, enough people spreading the word. One person cannot do things alone. Humans were meant to support and love each other to get things done (another reason I love Rise so much).

More then anything, I want Rise to come back as it was originally intended. A passion project with the OG cast, director, crew (make sure to always ask for that!). I do have some fears about it being different, and there are a few things I hope will never happen (like introducing shipping in the show. I’ve seen too many shows be ruined by botched romantic subplots and I hope that never happens to Rise), but I keep thinking about what we could have had and all the content that was robbed from us.

Even if Rise doesn’t come back…if you are an artist, support shows that take risks, support animation, shows that try to reinvent things. Don’t gatekeep or lambast something before you try it. Shows that don’t have toxic masculinity. Shows that don’t have romance. Shows that aren’t afraid to have well written, interesting women, and shows where men are allowed to be vulnerable and human. Art is how we grow, how we express ourselves, always try to make something that would inspire people, because lord knows we all need it.

Save Rise of the TMNT

Don’t give up! I believe in all of you! And special thanks to everyone participating in Rise April. Go and support their art @rise-april-art-challenge! Always make sure to support artists that are brave enough to put their work out there. Even if they’re not perfect! We all had to start somewhere.