#First world problem but still mildly annoying

[themoomoorn]

Low key I wish half the fandom had even an iota of these here brain cells because nothing grinds my goat more than slapping a modern Vicky's Secret bra and panty set on Byleth in 90% of fics and calling it a day.

Then again...

If you slap gauntlets on any girl in their OA uniform and have them KO a unit, they do a set of kicks as a victory pose and they wind up flashing the viewer ._. and a couple of them are either wearing what appear to be modern boy short-type panties...or just straight up classic cut panties, and this does include female Byleth if she's in the school uniform costume. Byleth also gets a very modern-looking pair of crew socks too. The shawls that Ashe and Bernadetta have also vaguely resemble hoodies, and there's Dorothea's hat...

If the braincells rubbed for a hot minute, you could argue that the clashing eras of clothing <i>could</i> be remnants of trickle-down clothing trends from the ultra-modern Agartha...but then I remembered this is FE, and even in games with better design cohesion like Tellius you get characters like Vika wearing something off a 2000's runway show. Fie, alas.

Fódlan dress theories:

Underwear

They must wear underwear, but the silhouettes and exposed skin show that it's not the underwear of an equivalent period of earth history, but I doubt they have the materials for modern underwear, with its rubber elastic and foam. So, what would they wear?

We can see on Raphael that the closest garment to the skin for men (at least in the officers academy) is a shirt fastened with buttons:

Shirts of an equivalent time in Europe wouldn't open in the front, but that's not really relevant. I imagine the shirt is made of linen for easy laundering.

As for the bottom, I assume that men and women alike wear linen braies. They can probably be omitted by people wearing long skirts and not riding horses in favor of bare pussy for ease of toilet access when wearing an outfit that makes taking off underpants difficult/time consuming. They're probably short and close fitting, making tight pants easier to wear without obvious panty lines. My evidence besides history:

Look at those little shorts.

As for the apparent leggings some of the girls wear

I bet those are woolen hose, which fasten to the braies.

What about bust support, though? Well, the lifted silhouette is more like a modern push-up bra than anything else, but since I'm assuming they don't have the elastic and foam those are made of, my next guess is regency style short stays

They give considerable lift to the bust without giving a particularly distinctive silhouette like a longer support garment would.

Now, we get one mention of underwear in the game, and that's Dorothea's lost piece of cloth, which was unrecognizable as clothing to Caspar, so I'm assuming it's an unshaped rectangle. My hypothesis on the purpose of this cloth, which I have no historical evidence for, is that it wraps around the torso under the stays to serve at a buffer between the tough, but difficult to launder stays, and the sweaty, sensitive skin. We see no evidence of a chemise or shirt over Dorothea's ample bust, while a wrapped rectangle could be positioned directly at the stay line for total concealment, held on solely by the stays, would have a plenty of wiggle room for weight gain, and only requires hemming, making it a solid skin layer option for a lady on a tight budget who wants to show off her assets. Although given the lack of obvious voluminous chemises on any of the ladies, this could be a common choice across social classes.

Then..... There are the people who don't seem to have underwear on their torsos at all.

I'd guess that Judith is relying on clever tailoring for support, Dorothea's armored girdle does the job for her, and Manuela actually has something really interesting going on, with her bodice being laced close under the bust, and then the breast cups suspended from her neckband for lift. I want to try making that dress.

However, the pre-automatic washing machine laundress in me is screaming at the good fabric right next to the skin. I want to believe that these garments have removable linen linings where they touch skin. Maybe that's what's tied across the back of Dorothea's shoulders.

[ode2rin]

1 | ANYONE BUT YOU .ೃ

summary. as lines get blurred, hearts get flustered, and a scheme ensues, your brother's best friend suddenly seems way more interesting than he used to be.

content/warnings. 5k+ wc (part 1/3) reader has little to no college friends | reader hates kaiser's guts | PROTECTIVE kaiser lol | | pet names (dollface) & a lot of profanity (it's kaiser) | minimal proofread

💭 masterlist | next part

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can go with you anymore.”

Your ears were ringing.

After the words hung over the line, a heavy silence descended, punctuated only by the dull thud of your heartbeat echoing in your ears. The phone line seemed to distort, and the world beyond reduced to a distant murmur as a disorienting ringing filled your ears. Yet, despite the shock rippling through, you managed to maintain a facade.

“Ah, I see. It’s no problem. See you around!” Your chirped voice made you cringe internally, but it was a better front than sounding like a defeated kid whose mom said no over a piece of candy at a grocery store.

Before he could say anything else, you clicked the end button faster than he could spew some tacky excuse. Throwing your phone to the side, you settled onto your bed, lying on your back, staring at the uninteresting ceiling of your room.

Sure, it was no problem at all— the music festival was just six hours away, and your date had just canceled on you over the phone. It’s no big deal facing your college blockmates without a companion as initially planned, and it’s totally not a problem that you will most likely be a third– hell, a seventh wheel, actually, and have them talk behind your back – speculating about why you're going alone or if you were just making it up that you had someone to bring.

Yes, it’s not a fucking problem at all.

You don’t even like the artist lineup, anyway (maybe you’re mildly interested with one band that’s attending).  You wouldn’t bother if you weren’t just a sophomore still trying to find a group of friends you can call your own. It's embarrassing enough that freshmen even had it better than you. It’s not a race, for sure, but in college– the truth lies blatant that support systems help. A lesson you learned the hardest way.

“Y/N? Are you in there?” Three soft knocks on your door and a muffled voice, surely coming from your older brother, interrupted your pity party.

“Yes. Come in,” you confirmed. The door creaked open, revealing a mop of magenta hair leaning over your door frame.

“There’s food downstairs. We ordered your favorite.”

“We?”

“Kaiser is downstairs.”

Of course, he is. 

Your brother’s best friend must have really taken it to heart when your mom told him he can treat your family as his own. Too deep into his heart, if you could comment. You see him around the house more than you see your parents, and if that wasn’t tiresome enough, he’s literally a damn superstar in your university. Every corner, every room, in halls and library, everyone can’t seem to be over his name like a broken record.

You wouldn’t be this annoyed, hostile even, if said man was just as nice as your brother. But instead, he was far by the most obnoxious, foul-mouthed, arrogant prick you’ve ever known. Alexis should have never kicked some ball with that conceited oaf a decade ago. Life would have been so much better. But no— reality is, the bane of your existence in the form of blonde hair and sharp blue eyes, is in your house’s kitchen, probably gulping down your favorite drinks in the fridge. 

If you can’t seem to have friends, your older brother seems to be goddamn bad at picking his.

“Hey, dollface. Missed me?” Speak of the damn devil and he shall appear.

The first thing you’re met with after coming down is a sight of Michael Kaiser, sitting high and comfortably on one of the counter’s bar stools. Your gaze trails down to his hand where you see a peek of his crown tattoo— and would you look at that? He’s holding a can of your Coke Zero.

“Oh, so that’s why my life was going sideways again,” you feigned a sigh in disappointment, making sure it was loud enough for him to hear, “because you’re back.”

In your unwanted years of knowing this guy, you’ve soon realized that none of your words, no matter how sharp or snarky they get, would ever faze him. Evidence would be how he just openly chuckled at your remark. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I missed you and your smart mouth, too. Don’t worry.”

“Trust me, worry is not in the list of emotions I would ever feel for you.”

“Well, does attraction make it to the list?”

Years ago, perhaps it would have. Not that he needs to know—no chance. Your silly childhood crush on him was your deepest, darkest mistake. You might be overdramatic, but this was Michael Kaiser, and god, you would rather get caught having feelings for anyone but him.

Rolling your eyes at him, you sneer, “You wish.”

“Oh, trust me, I do wish,” he mocks your tone.

“Fuck off.” 

“That won’t get rid of me, I’m afraid,” he shrugs before winking at you. You shook your head in annoyance.

You took the seat across from him and settled. You were about to lean to reach the box of pizza at the other end of the countertop, when Kaiser reached for it first and placed it in front of you.

You turned to look at him, half expecting a smirk or yet another wink from the blonde, but instead, he was preoccupied browsing on his phone as if his body moved on its own to attend to you.

You shrugged off the weird occurrence and turned all attention to the pizza and its heavenly scent sipping through the gaps of its box, just in time for Alexis to take the seat next to his best friend. You drowned the noise of their conversation as they started talking about last away games.

Your brother and Kaiser had been the most valuable players of your university’s soccer team for as long as you’ve remembered. They were two years older, so by the time you entered university, they were already making big names in the field. Rumors had it that there were already offers lining up at their feet.

If you come to think of it, it wouldn’t be this hard making friends if you would just be vocal about being Alexis Ness’ younger sibling, but the limelight and pretentious popularity it came with was something you wouldn’t wish upon yourself. You wanted real and genuine friends, not people who wanted to be around you because it was a step closer to your brother and his best friend.

Like earlier, Alexis’ voice came reaching your eardrums, snapping you out of your thoughts. After hearing what he had to ask, though, you wished you had a way to physically block out his words.

“Are you not going to get ready for the festival?” your brother asked, meanwhile, his dear friend seemed to take great interest in what you’re about to say as both of them peered over you.

“Not going anymore,” you said, as nonchalant as you could to play pretend.

“Why? You’ve been looking forward to it the whole week.”

Heat crept into your ears and cheeks as embarrassment filled you. Sure, you might not be prancing around being all excited about it, but if your brother was able to notice it, your enthusiasm must have been evident then. God, you felt like an utter fool now.

“It got canceled,” you looked away from them.

Alexis looked at you with furrowed brows, “What do you mean? It’s not–”

“My date canceled on me. I’m not going anymore to save face and not make a fool out of myself. There, happy?” you snapped.

Before you could even feel the guilt from bursting out unprovoked to your brother, you swiftly got up from the stool heading back to your room, leaving the two of them in the kitchen looking concerned contrarily. One with worried eyes glancing at your room hesitantly, and the other one with a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.

It seemed everyone was testing your patience today, as for the second time, your ears rang—not from a last-minute cancellation this time, but from the persistent sound of your ringing phone.

Your heavy eyes fluttered open, weighed down by the sleep from your ignoring-the-world nap after the exchange with your supposed date and your brother. Disoriented and groggy, you reached out, fingers fumbling to check the caller deserving of your unrelenting fury.

Kaiser, the screen read, and suddenly, the urge to throw your phone at the nearest wall almost overwhelmed your senses.

But you answered the call anyway, because logic says that he was still your brother’s closest, and sometimes, that warranted a call that might be about him.

“I swear to god this better be important–”

“Get ready,” he interrupted.

“What?”

“Look out your window.”

Groaning, you rose to your feet, moving your drapes aside to see what awaited outside.

Outside your house’s gates, a midnight blue sports car, all too familiar, was parked across the driveway. Its owner leaned lazily over its door, one hand in his pocket while the other held his phone pressed to his ear, looking right back at you with that shit-eating grin.

“What the hell are you on?” you muttered into the phone.

You instantly closed the drapes after meeting eyes with him.

It’s infuriating—He’s infuriating. But damn, does he look good when he smiles like that. And it’s not helping your case that he was clad in loose-fitting denim pants and a black shirt, sufficiently showcasing both his tattoo and his lean yet toned build.

It’s sorcery how he makes simple and ordinary clothing look like it was screaming high-end and luxury. Only he can do that, you admit.

“As I said, get ready,” he repeated over the phone, “We only have less than two hours before your music festival or something starts.”

He’s taking me to it? “Why?”

Only one word in response, yet the two of you understood what you’re pertaining to. Silence filled the line for a moment before you heard a subtle click of his tongue.

“Because you look ugly when you sulk,” and he hung up.

You should be irritated at him hanging up abruptly and calling you ugly, but for some reason you don’t know, it puts a smile on your face. 

The first one today.

Kaiser wishes he had a bigger car— which one would deem ridiculous, given that his car could easily match the price of two or even three minivans.

But if it meant having you sit not so close that your scent infiltrates his senses beyond his sound judgment, he’d gladly trade his lambo for a minivan any day.

You were intoxicating— not akin to the grip of liquor, because it would be inadequate in comparison. But rather intoxicating in the same way as the irresistible magnetism that beckons a madman to its vices.

And he must be really mad because you weren’t even sitting shoulder-to-shoulder close to him. You’re sitting comfortably at the passenger seat, a good distance in between, and yet he acts like a raging teenager who got locked up with his crush in the utility room. It is absolutely embarrassing, even for someone like him.

“Did Alexis ask you to do this?” you suddenly inquired, your gaze fixed on your side of the car.

Thank heavens you broke the silence first, because who knows what ungodly phrases he would come up with in an attempt of small talk with you?

“No. Though I bet he would have taken you himself,” he snorted, of course your brother would, “If our coach weren’t so pissed at him these days.”

Ah, so that explained why you hadn't seen Alexis around the house before hopping into Kaiser's car.

Momentarily, you turned to him. It was so swift that he might have missed it if he wasn’t so hyper aware of your every move in this damn confined space. “Is he in trouble?” you inquired to the blonde, your voice concerned and hesitant.

“Nothing you have to worry about, doll.”

“Stop with the nicknames,” you hissed, attempting to intimidate. 

Unfazed, he countered with a cheeky “Make me,” under his breath. His smirk practically audible, even without you glancing his way.

Silence overtook between the two of you once more. You fixated on the road ahead, noting the nearing destination as the glow of the festival stage lights peeked into view.

It’s your chance— your chance to release the words that have lingered at the edge of your tongue since he urged you to get ready almost an hour ago. You stole a glance at the man driving beside you. His eyes focused on the road, his left hand steady on the steering wheel while his timepiece-adorned hand rested comfortably on the gearshift. In another frame of mind, you might have found yourself lost in the rhythm of his long, slender fingers tapping against it. You snapped out of it before he could point it out.

You stole one last glance before turning away to whisper, “Thank you… Kaiser.”

Instead of saying welcome like a polite person would, your companion would of course, choose to say something as, “You owe me something now.”

Of course, you thought. Mentally rolling your eyes, you ask, resigning to his antics, “What do you want?” 

“Call me by my name.”

“Did you not hear? I said, thank you Kai–”

“The one you used to call me.”

Mikka.

It was a silly nickname you gave him– back when Alexis first brought him home for snacks nearly ten years ago. He and Alexis were eleven, and you were barely nine.

You remembered the blonde kid, all sweaty in his mud-stained clothes, clutching a worn-out ball by his hip, his gaze fixed on you with curiosity. “This is Kaiser,” your brother introduced, but the blonde stranger approached you, extending his hand.

“I’m Michael.”

“That’s… long.”

“What?”

“Your name– it’s long,” you echoed, looking up at him, “can I call you ‘Mikka’?”

“What?” Kaiser’s deep voice sliced through your reminiscence. “You had no problem calling me that before,” he pointed out.

“That’s before you beat up the boy you knew I like,” you scoffed at him, a familiar pettiness clouding your mind.

He chuckled at your retort, seemingly lost in his own memories. “Beat him up on the soccer field, you mean,” he corrected, though he wouldn’t particularly mind if it were an actual fight.

“Same thing.”

“Oh, come on! It was highschool!”

“Your point?” you countered.

“He was a snotface, anyway.” he rationalized.

“He was nice to me!”

“I suggest you rather get a dog instead— if nice is all you need. I heard dogs are fun to be around,” he sneered, “What do you think of pomeranians?”

You brushed off his question, preferring the depths of silence over the hypothetical responsibility of tending to a pup that bore more than a passing resemblance to him, both in appearance and, perhaps, in demeanor.

“I knew agreeing to come here with you was a mistake,” you sighed, exasperation lacing your words.

Surprisingly, Kaiser offered no retort. Taking his silence as a cue for your own, you settled into quietness, hoping for a peaceful remainder of the drive. Minutes drifted by until Kaiser broke the stillness with a whisper loud enough for you to catch.

“He was a slimy jerk,” he began, pausing as if hinting his careful choice of words, “and he was nice to you because he was trying to get into your pants.”

“How did you know?” you asked, meek and shy, fumbling with your fingers in your lap.  Seeking love advice and opinions from none other than the mighty Kaiser seemed absurd, but maybe, wisdom might sometimes fare well with age.

“Trust me when I say I know how boys can be,” he scoffed, a displeased furrow settling in his brows. “He wasn't the gentleman you thought he was.”

“And you? Are you a gentleman?”

Before you could stop your thoughts from escaping your rebellious mouth, the words spilled out like water through a breached dam. The lack of response from him compelled you to chew on your lip and fix your gaze on the road, refusing to spare even a glance his way, despite feeling his stare burning into the side of your face.

Meanwhile, Kaiser was aware he might be staring too long at your side for someone controlling a vehicle, but he couldn't help it. Not when you caught him off guard with a simple question, and especially not when you were trying so hard to avoid looking at him, your discomfort palpable in the air. You looked so cute—it made his mouth twitch.

Staring ahead at the road, he contemplated your question, needing no more than a minute to reach his conclusion.

When a man looks at his best friend's younger sibling in a way he shouldn’t, he’s not deserving of the title “gentleman.”

He was far from it, he concluded. With one last glance thrown your way before bringing the car to a full stop, he muttered in an uncharacteristically soft tone.

“Especially not one, doll.”

“Y/N! Over here!” a familiar voice cut through the cacophony, prompting you to scan the crowd until you finally spotted them.

Relief flooded over you at the sight of a familiar face amidst the crowd. Checking your phone had proven to be a wise decision; otherwise, you might have spent the night searching aimlessly through the vast expanse of the venue.

The venue stretched out before you was a kaleidoscope of sights and sounds that danced upon the senses. Laughter and chatter mingled with applause and the occasional roar of approval as performers graced the stage. 

Everywhere you looked there was movement and so much life. Yet amidst the bustling crowd and pulsating music, one figure occupied your thoughts more than anything else.

Kaiser's towering 6-foot frame loomed behind you, his broad shoulders carving a path of confidence through the crowd. He stood behind you like an immovable rock amidst a rushing river. And if your senses weren't deceiving you, you swore you felt the occasional brush of his hand against the small of your back, gently guiding you forward.

He was so close behind you that his breath on your nape soaked into your skin like ointment— warm to the touch, yet icy on your spine.

“Where's your date?” one of your blockmates inquired after the initial pleasantries were exchanged.

The question lingered, and suddenly, all eyes were on you. Mentally counting heads, you realized you were really on track to be the seventh wheel if you attended without a companion. Speaking of companions— you turned behind you with the intention of introducing Kaiser (not that they didn’t know him already), but your intention faltered when you noticed the scowl on his face.

“I’m the date, if you couldn’t tell,” he interjected. 

From his vantage point, he observed the widening of your eyes at his declaration. Yet, when he didn’t hear any immediate retaliation from you, he flashed you— and everyone else watching— a lopsided smirk. He sensed your blockmates’ curiosity lingering, some perhaps wondering if he was truly dating you. But none of them dared to probe further—maybe because he wasn't exactly the approachable type.

After a few murmurs of ‘oh’ and ‘really’ from your blockmates, they returned their attention to the stage, where the next performer was beginning their pre-performance monologue.

You, on the other hand, look like you were out for his blood from how you’re glaring at him. “Are you out of your mind?” you hissed under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

Yes. Perhaps he was. Irrationality had seized him upon hearing the question. After all, he was there with you, visible for all to see. Did they not see him? Did he look like a fucking chair to those people? Common sense must be a luxury these days, given its absence in this situation.

Yet, a small voice of reason within him attempted to intervene, suggesting that the question might have stemmed from genuine curiosity.

As his best friend's younger sibling, seeing the two of you together wasn't an unusual occurrence for those who attend the same university. They likely concluded that your presence with him at the music festival was simply a matter of normal friendship (which it was, but they don’t have to know that, nor does he desire for these extras to reduce it to just that).

“I’m helping you save face like you said earlier,” he tells you, still wearing that annoying smirk.

“How does telling them you’re my date help me save face?” If anything, you'd be hiding on campus after his stunt. You could only hope words won’t travel fast.

“Would you rather I tell them I'm chaperoning you because some jerk canceled on you?”

Your words stalled at the base of your throat, unable to counter his remark. That shut you up, much to your chagrin. He was right.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” he quipped, grinning at your silence. “Come closer, there’s a lot of people.”

You huffed in irritation and decided to ignore him behind you, determined to make the most of your experience here. You’d let this slide for now. After all, he was here because of you.

But it wasn’t too long before you realized that ignoring him would be as futile as trying to pluck roses without being pricked by the thorns. You knew very well that this man thrives in getting under people’s skin.

“You should be flattered.”

Genuinely appalled, you ask, “I’m sorry?”

“Accepted.”

If it wasn’t night time and the blaring lights were replaced by the sun, he could have seen the twitch that your eye did at his retort.

At this point, murder is a tempting option. Sure, he’s taller and much bigger in physique terms, but you have the rage for it. Just one more insufferable antic—one more word— from this man and the whole university will be mourning their star player’s demise first thing tomorrow morning. 

You took a deep breath to calm your murderous nerves, “Is that so? What part of telling people— oh wait, our schoolmates who are probably whispering behind our backs— that you’re my date, is flattering to you?”

The asshole had the audacity to shrug, “Calling me yours was.”

“Well then, you should be flattered. Not me.”

“You don’t know how flattered I am to be yours,” he mused.

If you didn’t know any better, his attempt at flirting might have sent warmth to your cheeks. But this was Kaiser— no one can tell when he’s being serious or just being his usual menace self talking shit like he’s employed to do so. Good thing you had better plans than spend it on his guessing games.

Just when you’re about to berate him once more, words halted on your throat because of a sight you least expected to see.

Han— the guy you’ve been talking to for almost a month now. The same guy who was your supposed date, to be more specific.

“What? Cat got your tongue, doll?”

If cats come in the form of a familiar man who’s a few good meters away, clearly having the time of his life dancing with someone, and clearly showing no signs of unavailability to go to a music festival he asked you to, then yes, it got your tongue.

You stayed silent far too long for Kaiser’s patience. Your lack of snarky clapbacks were starting to unsettle him more than he would allow. Shifting closer to you, he followed your line of sight to see what got you stunned in silence.

Recognizing what, or rather who, got your attention, he turns to you, his voice coming out too indignant, “Do you know that guy?”

“Do you?” you counter, picking up on his tone being all too casual as if they’re acquainted. 

“He’s last week’s opposing team’s goalkeeper,” or was it ‘striker’? He couldn’t recall, so he’s more or less incompetent to him. One thing he remembers, however, “and he hates me.”

You threw him a glance, “Not surprised.”

“And do I give a fuck,” he shook his head, “Why do you keep looking at him?” Don’t fucking tell me.

Your answer wasn’t any better to what he was starting to imagine, “He was… supposed to be my date to this music festival,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet.

You didn’t want to see the look on Kaiser’s face, fearing you might see pity, and so you nailed your gaze to the ground. Totally oblivious of the man peering over you rather softly.

“Why can’t he then?” he asks, voice an octave lower.

“He said they had late notice training, so he can’t come.” 

“Well, that better be his fucking ghost yapping with a brunette then,” he scoffs, looking straight to the lying man who canceled on you.

Sick of his face and sloppy dance moves, Kaiser turned his gaze back at you, only to be filled with rage because of it.

You look sad— and it made his blood boil. Not towards you, but for you.

“Y’know what? Let’s go there,” he urged, head pointing at where Han was.

Is he fucking crazy? You immediately shook your head at his scandalous suggestion. You might be feeling a little betrayed and angry, but rationality still had its hold on you— and it’s saying to not let Kaiser go with his idea. 

Instead, you tug on his forearm, eyes still on the floor before looking up at him, “Can we leave, please?” 

Kaiser was taken aback by your sudden meekness. He wasn’t used to this— to you, being all deflated and zoned out. He was used to your deadpan expressions and your eyes that seem to roll every time he utters a single word. He was used to you being, dare he say, feisty. 

And he would rather have you stay like that all day long, even when he’s the receiving end of it.

But this? You, saying please to him, of all people? He doesn’t like it. 

If this is how he gets to make you say please, then he doesn’t want it. Fuck that, and fuck that guy. How dare he.

Kaiser didn’t say anything back at your request, but you felt big calloused hands grasp on your hand still resting on his forearm. The next thing you knew, you were walking with him, shoulder-to-shoulder while his other hand was on yours guiding you to walk out of the scene.

“If I see one—just one drop of tear, I swear I am turning this damn car around.” 

Your thoughts abruptly halted at the sound of Kaiser’s threat—his ultimatum, rather. It sounded more like a promise than a threat, and you knew this man well enough to understand that he never ate his words.

You shot him a glance and snickered. There was no way in high hell you’d ever cry in the same space where he was. It was the last thing you’d ever do, even if it meant convincing yourself that what you saw earlier was just a mere look-alike of Han.

“It's nothing. We aren’t even a thing,” you dismissed, your voice flat.

“But you thought you could be,” he countered, and damn if he wasn't right. “How do you even know him?”

“We're kind of talking, well, sort of—”

“Kind of? Sort of?” he scoffed.

“God—it's like a talking stage or something casual, Kaiser! There, got it?”

“That's not exclusive,” he remarked, adding insult to injury.

Irritation bubbled in your throat as his interrogation continued. But even before you could unleash your venom, you caught yourself. He was right. And while this man had never brought you good, it wasn't fair to make him the target of your bad.

“Yeah, it's not,” you admitted, a dry, humorless laugh escaping you. You recalled the brunette he danced with earlier. “I wasn't exclusive material for his reputation, I guess.”

What reputation? “That’s bullshit.” He gritted his teeth, his hand itching towards the steering wheel, clearly tempted to turn back to the festival.

“You said it yourself, he’s an athlete,” you pointed out, “You people never like to go exclusive with someone.”

“You people? Oh, please. Do not insult me by comparing me to the likes of him.”

The sass in his voice drew a chuckle from you. It was amusing how he said it with genuine horror, as if the mere idea of being associated with Han was an insult. “Why? Are you telling me you can commit to someone exclusively?”

“Someone like who? You?” He met your gaze briefly, “Absolutely.”

What the hell. “Stop messing around,” you snorted, effectively ending the conversation.

He was playing a dangerous game, saying that to you. Did he even realize what it did? Did he hear your stupid heart hammering in your chest? It was too loud, too obvious, a frantic drum solo against your ribs. 

And the realization settled— he made your heart flutter. 

His words, so simple, so casually tossed out, had landed like a bomb, sending shrapnel through your carefully constructed walls.

Michael Kaiser, of all people, made your heart flutter.

Suddenly, the air felt thin, the car an echo chamber amplifying the frantic rhythm of your traitorous heart. You knew you should scoff, dismiss it as another one of his infuriating jabs, but the truth was like a hot coal lodged in your throat.

“I’m not though,” he countered, eyes steady on the familiar road ahead. He sounded serious– too serious. 

As you were about to retort back, the car lurched to a stop, announcing your arrival. You glanced out the window, the familiar sight of your house doing little to ease the tension that had coiled tight in your stomach.

“We’re here,” Kaiser announced, his voice a low rumble.

Hurried and flustered by the unexpected shift in the conversation, your clammy hands fumbled with the buckle, the metal cold and unyielding against your sweaty palms. You tugged, then tugged again, frustration building with each failed attempt.

“Easy, doll.” 

Before you could protest, a large hand swooped in, effortlessly unlatching the buckle with a practiced flick. The sudden proximity sent a jolt through you, making your breath hitch. You met his gaze, his eyes a blazing blue as he held your stare for a beat too long before turning away.

Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself. You reached for the door handle, pushing it open and stepping out onto the familiar pavement. Before slamming the door shut, you paused, turning back to Kaiser with a newfound resolve.

Crouching down to meet his gaze, you surprised yourself with the words that tumbled out. “Be careful on your way home and,” you paused, “Thank you... Mikka.”

The nickname slipped out before you could stop it, leaving a blush blooming across your cheeks.

Before Kaiser could react, you slammed the door shut, the sound echoing in the quiet street. 

Mikka. He repeats your words in his mind.

He watched you disappear into your house, a slow grin spreading across his face. Only when you were safely inside did he start the car, the image of your flustered face lingering in his mind.

Damn it, doll.

Meanwhile, you hurried to your room, clutching your chest where your heart still hammered a frantic rhythm.

Why did I call him that? you asked yourself.

The use of his nickname, a name you rarely uttered now, was a stark reminder that the two of you weren’t as close as you were younger.

It’s not a big deal, you tried to reason with yourself. He literally said you owed it to him, and calling it quits would be in the form of a stupid nickname. It doesn’t mean anything. Right— you were just returning a favor.

Your obvious self-deception was interrupted by the incessant buzzing of your phone, tossed carelessly on the bed. Picking up your phone, you opened one of the notifications, your breath catching in your throat.

It was a post on your university's gossip page, and there, plastered on the screen, was a picture of you and Kaiser. 

The image froze a moment in time, capturing him standing protectively behind you, his arms caging you against a barricade. Panic clawed at your throat. This picture, out in the open, could be misconstrued in so many ways. 

What were people going to think? Who took this photo, anyway?

Your eyes darted down the comment section, scrolling through a sea of unimaginable speculations, desperately searching for clues about the culprit.

Just then, a knock on the door startled you.

“Y/N? Can I talk to you?”

It was your brother— and his voice suggested he needed answers too.

Shit.

note. first mini series lmao xD will add cw as i go!

[sanaxo-o]

Bodyguard!Hyunjae Headcanons

Warnings: most is fluff, I said that Hyunjae is kind of possessive but at the same time not, betrayal in a way but these are headcanons so nothing in depth but ig that’s it. Lemme know if I should add more!

Word count: 604

Sana: so I was supposed to write watch it hyunjae long back when the song came out but then I couldn’t get my brain to work so I just decided if I cannot write anything yet maybe headcanons can help me and these are okay-ish. Never written headcanons in my life so yeah…have fun ig! Special tag to @from-izzy <3

Taglist: @deoboyznet @a-dream-bookmark @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @bella-feed

Hyunjae who is your personal bodyguard but maybe being a bodyguard is not his only job afterall.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would be so overprotective over you. He takes his job very seriously so he keeps an eye on you at all times 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would make sure you don’t interfere with his work because obviously if he is looking after the daughter of the country’s richest man he would have his own certain motives behind it. 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae obviously vowed to himself to not fall in love with you no matter what happens but he just cannot help but smile slightly whenever he sees you doing something silly 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae expected you to be a snob but was mildly surprised when he saw your kind attitude towards the people who deserve it obviously. Maybe you weren’t so bad after all.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would follow you EVERYWHERE and if you manage to sneak out, don’t worry he has tabs on you.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae can be mildly overprotective but in his eyes he is just trying to protect you from the outside world which is obviously out to get you That’s just what he thinks is true though

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would notice the smallest things about you. He can say it's because it is his job but he knows that this is the first time he is closely paying attention to a client of his (with whom he has alternative motives because obviously he cannot just be a bodyguard, now can he?) 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would lowkey highkey love it when you depend on him and rant to him about something. 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would find a solution for anything. Got a guy problem? Worry not he can take care of that him. Someone's troubling you? He can easily hunt them down without needing anyone's help. He's skilled in that field after all. 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae might not even realise when he started falling for you. When his feelings went from Ugh she's so annoying to maybe she's not that bad. I mean she is pretty...and cute to him actually falling for you but of course he wouldn’t admit that to you or anyone in question.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would never admit it but he does have feelings for you but before any feelings his work comes first for him be it having to betray you or your family. Never get personal feelings mixed with business, that's his motto and he has to stay true to that. 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would feel his world crashing down on him when you would stare back at him with your hurt eyes as they begged for him to say that whatever he was doing was not true but what could he do? His work comes first obviously.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would feel like his life is empty without listening to your laugh, the way you would smile at him, the stories you’d tell him in a much exaggerated way, the times you would try to bake something out of boredom but would fail miserably.

Bodyguard!Hyunjae may not be with you 24/7 anymore but he would still keep his eyes on you at all times. He cannot let go of you just like that, not when he knows that he loves you more than anything in the world. Only if he would have found out about it sooner than maybe he’d not be in such a state right now, without you beside him. 

Bodyguard!Hyunjae would never be someone to believe in fate but maybe just once he hopes that fate would bring the two of you together again so that he can start anew again with you by his side but forever. Not as his client but as his lover. 

[pinkcherryblossomphonecase]

Sugar Crash

(Cooper eats too much candy on Halloween when he was still apart of XY)

Tags: @myluckymoon @oscarsgallery @justsigma-bsd @kijimha @city-of-c0rpses @deeply-moonstruck @doakarma

Never in my life have I ever had to beg for candy. But I was so desperate for some. Normal food and meals were already a privilege to have, but candy, sweets, desserts, was impossible to ever have. If I ever wanted anything remotely sweet, I had to be on good behavior for the entire week, just to earn a single slice of cake or a scoop of ice cream. It was a little reward system to keep me in line.

The only problem was it was the day of Halloween, and unfortunately, I wasn't on my best behavior that week due to an incident earlier during the week. So that means I wasn't allowed to have any candy or sugar as a reward. Normally, I would be fine with this light punishment, but something about Halloween always made me sugar crazy. Like a spell or trance has me in choke hold, and I need to consume candy or else it would be the end of the world for me.

And here I was, quite literally begging on my knees in front of Master X. He was busy doing some paperwork. At first, he looked amused that I would go to the extremes of begging for a few pieces of candy. But after a while, I think I annoyed him enough, or he got bored as he let out, scoffed with a sigh.

"Cooper, stop it. I have work to do, and you're distracting me. Keep this up, and I won't give you any sweets for a month." He harshly stated, mildly annoyed.

"But master you don't understand! I need candy right now! This is a once a year day where my body loses control and goes insane if I don't consume sugar." I plead.

Master rolled his eyes, his hand reaching for the drawer to take out the duck tape he keeps in there to shut me up. "You're not possessed, Cooper. Now quit it."

I reached for his hand and tried to stop him. "Please, just for one day. All I want is some lollipops and chocolates. I'll stop complaining if you let me have this one privilege."

"We don't even have any c-"

"Liar! I saw a whole bag you kept hidden for the others in the closet while I was putting away your laundry!" I yelled in desperation. Normally, I wouldn't dare step out of line like this ever. But I promise you, it was the desperation for candy that drives me this mad. I truly do lose control over myself on this one day.

Master was about to slap me and shut me up with the tape, but I looked at him with pleading eyes. I was determined to win this fight. A bit too stubborn. After staring at me for a while, he gives an annoyed groan.

"Fine. You can have some. Just don't eat the whole damn bag and no sugar for a month afterwards." He scoffed.

I practically bounced and beamed with joy. "YAY! :D THANK YOU MASTER!" I gave a quick hug before running off to get the bag.

Oh what joys it was to rip open the bag and dig around for the good candies. Butterfingers, Tootsies Rolls, Dumbdums, Airheads. It was a dream come true as I munched and feasted on the sugar like it was a fine dine meal.

Master X shouldn't have left me unsupervised. Someone should have kept an eye on me and stopped me. Because I ate and ate like there was no tomorrow. Before I knew it, the entire bag was empty, and I was reaching in for nothing.nothing.

That's when the crash hit and everything just shut down, leaving me on the floor.

I should have been back to doing my chores. But here I was, laying on the floor of the living room, clenching my stomach as I groaned in pain. It's like a train just suddenly hit me and everything in my system has shut down. Talk about sugar overload.

Other members walked by and pasted me, not giving a crap about my suffering. They all gave me a weird look, silently scolding me for eating the entire bag of candy.

Even master came by, but he just shook his head. "I told you not to eat the whole bag. Now, you must face the consequences of your actions. Enjoy your sugar crash. No more sweets for you for an entire month."

"So worth it, though...." I mumbling on the floor, passing out right there. I probably slept there for the night with a bucket besides me. Still worth it in the end.

[a-random-pillow]

Him, seriously? OF ALL PEOPLE: Chapter 1

Pairing(s): Cody Rhodes/Roman Reigns

Word Count: 2318

Tags/Warning: Crack treated Seriously

Summary:

Kevin walks in on Roman and Cody, he is not happy and will make this everyone else's problem. This has also had the unintended side effect of ruining all of Roman's Cody-related plans and for once, they can't solve this situation in the ring.

AO3: Him, seriously? OF ALL PEOPLE - Chapter 1 - A_Random_Pillow - World Wrestling Entertainment [Archive of Our Own]

Also: @ambreignsfan4life

It's early, 7:40 to be exact, which is way too early for Kevin's liking but for what he is planning he has to get up before Cody's bus leaves at 8:00(Always 8:00?what does he have a normal sleep schedule?). Kevin mutters curses primarily directed at his early riser friend, the sun itself and whatever else mildly annoys him at the present moment as he walks through the creepily empty backstage with a large box of breakfast foods in hand. Bagels, eggs, fruit, pancakes, waffles bacon oh my.

He wanted to go out of his way to thank Cody for giving him a title shot, he didn't think he'd win but damm he'd try. He'd give Cody the best match possible because he knew Cody would do the same for him. Especially if it meant keeping Roman away from the title and Cody by extension.

Cody's bus is a bit of an eyesore but it's always easy to spot. Kevin carefully walks up the steps balancing the food on one hand while he uses the other to open Cody's door with the key Cody had given him. It was a massive sign of trust and he would protect the key and Cody until his dying breath if it came to that.

Although all the blinds are closed, all of the lights are on inside and the strong smell of coffee fills the small bus. A bit of steam drifts out of the bathroom.

"Coffee for The Chief," Says Cody to someone Kevin can't see.

There is an all too familiar huff of breath as he hears Roman fucking Reign's voice say

"Thanks, Princess"

He says ‘Princess’ in such a soft affectionate way it immediately puts Kevin on high alert, fight or flight.

Kevin slams the door behind him and marches up the few steps to the main floor. The sight he is greeted to disgusts him. Cody is leaning back on the kitchen counter wearing Roman's new OTC shirt, it's impossible to tell if he is wearing anything underneath because Roman's stupid shirt is too large for Cody! Not to mention all the bruises and bites across Cody's whole body! Roman is no better, wearing a tied white robe hair still dripping with water. The robe does nothing to hide the scratches on Roman's chest and of course more bites and bruises! Kevin feels the strong urge to throttle... well both of them but Roman more than Cody.

"K-kev?" Squeaks out Cody's eyes wide as the color drains from his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Yells Kevin, tossing the breakfast box onto the table before stomping to the Champion and former Champion.

Roman steps in front of Cody, moving the blond man behind him, eyes turning stoney and cold within an instant.

"Kevin!" Says Cody visibly pulling himself together as he tries to push past Roman with no success.

"What are you doing here?!" Demands Roman angrily which does nothing to soothe Kevin's rising fury.

"WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Yells Kevin

"I WAS HERE FIRST" Yells Roman

"THIS IS CODY'S BUS!"

"BOTH OF YOU CALM DOWN!" Yells Cody getting in between them without hesitation. His blue eyes are flicking between them annoyance burning like blue embers but Kevin can't really bring himself to care about that because Roman Reigns is right fucking there.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Yells Kevin

Roman opens his mouth, eyes dark but one harsh look from Cody shuts him up fast.

"Kevin we can explain," Says Cody calmly, eyes sympathetic and kind.

Kevin feels his rage simmer down for the moment, it's clear Cody and Roman fucked last night but Kevin would like to know the whole situation before passing judgment. He was an angry bastard but if it was just one time then they can forget this. Everyone has had sex with at least one terrible person or been said terrible person, Kevin was no saint in the matter.

Cody pushes Roman into one of the chairs obviously trying to get him to sit down and to Kevin’s surprise Roman obliges without any argument. Well, maybe there is an argument because Roman and Cody share a look that has more meaning than Kevin thought possible. After a few moments, they both turn to look at Kevin obviously waiting for him to do something. He asks the first question that comes to his mind.

"What is this?"

Cody glances at Roman and Roman nods picking up his previously forgotten coffee to take a sip. The mug has a picture of Cody and Pharoh on the front and the words ‘pretty good dog owner’ printed on the bottom.

"ummm, I guess stress relief?"

Roman shrugs in agreement which only irritates Kevin more. Stress relief? So it's just sex?... fucking better question why were either of them trying to help the other relieve stress?

"When did this start? How did this start?"

At that Cody and Roman both look away like children who got caught sneaking an extra cookie. Their expressions are a mix of embarrassment and shame as Cody says

"ummm, well, the night I got back to the WWE"

Kevin would have spit out his coffee if he was drinking it. Since Cody got back to the WWE, 2 years ago, they've been fucking for TWO YEARS.

"Me and Roman ran into each other backstage and he offered me some advice on dealing with Seth, one thing led to another and... yeah"

How do you deal with this? What do you do when you find out a person you thought was your friend was actually banging your enemy, not just any enemy, the leader and you know the unanimously agreed upon worst guy around... but at least it was just sex, right?

"So only sex?"

"Yeah," says Cody unconvincingly

"What are you Cody's dad?" Asks Roman annoyance dripping from his voice like venom.

"I'm sorry Roman, want me to go get Jey and Sami?" Asks Kevin sarcastically.

Roman grumbles something under his breath before leaning back into his chair in defeat and shutting his mouth.

"So if it's only sex you guys ‘released stress' with other people during these past two years? Right?"

At that, both Roman and Cody glance at each other before looking away. Cody opens his mouth to speak before thinking better of it and looking at Roman.

"...We didn't have time?" Roman asks it like a question more than he states it a fact.

Oh great, these two idiots have been exclusively banging each other for two years.

"So how often do you do this?"

Cody looks at Roman annoyance creasing his face

"Well we used to do it after every smackdown, sometimes more, but someone decided to take leave without telling anyone"

"Sorry, I called you the second week I was away. It's not that I didn't want to see ya, I was just upset."

Cody smiles at Roman, all the false annoyance slipping away as he kisses Roman's cheek before saying

"I'm just messing with you, sir"

Roman and Cody stare at each other intently, foreheads touching and eyes taking in every detail of the other’s face. Have forgotten that Kevin is right there?

Kevin wonders if these two actually managed to fall in love because these two seem a little lovey-dovey for just sex. But Cody and Roman in love is the worst-case scenario, he doesn’t want to think about that unless he absolutely has to.

Roman leans into Cody clearly about to kiss The Undisputed Champion but Kevin clears his throat not wanting to witness any more of these to then he absolutely has to. Roman quickly turns away and Cody looks like a dear trapped in headlights.

"Only sex you say?"

"I mean we get dinner sometimes, and sometimes catch a ride with each other... and we've crashed at each other's houses"

... Are they actually in love? These two seem dense, would they even realize if they were? Kevin feels his boiling anger return at... at these two’s everything! It's all he can do to not attack Roman and Cody again. He stands up and all but yells

"I AM GOING TO SLEEP BECAUSE THIS IS CLEARLY A NIGHTMARE"

Kevin marches out of Cody's bus leaving those two alone once again. He marches to his bus leaving a wake of concerned employees behind him. He throws himself on his bed like it's a member of The Bloodline and he's on the top rope.

He tries to fall asleep but just like everything else so far today it seems impossible... so he decides to call Randy to vent and thankfully Randy picks up after two rings.

"Hey Kev, what's up man? Isn't it a little early for you?"

"Yeah! I was trying to surprise Cody with breakfast and you'll never guess who I saw in his bus!"

"Ummm, LA Knight?"

"God I wish! Motherfucking Roman Reigns"

"... Pardon?" Says a voice that is distinctly not Randy and sounds a lot like Sami

For a moment Kevin wonders if he should be telling Sami this, out of everyone it would upset Sami and Jey the most... but Cody had been hiding the truth if not directly lying to them for two years.

"Cody and Roman are fucking!"

There is a long beat of silence before he hears Seth ask

"How much do you know?"

"How many people are here?" Asks Kevin

"We were just about to go out for breakfast, Me, Randy, Jey, and Sami. Now answer the question" States Seth in a no-nonsense tone.

"They've been having sex for quote-unquote stress relief since Cody got back to the WWE. Oh wait not just sex, sometimes they have dinner, give each other rides and stay at each other's houses! Oh and mind you they are also only fucking each other!!" Yells Kevin, relaying all the information he got from Cody and Roman.

"Are you serious?" Asks Jey uncharctericaly

"Is this the kinda thing I'd joke about?"

"Is he stupid? Roman... ROMAN!"

"TWO YEARS"

"Didn't he listen to us? We've all talked about what he did to us!"

"Cody..."

"That's it I'm calling him right now!" Yells Seth from somewhere in the background. Kevin can hear a phone ringing and after one ring someone picks up.

"Hi Cody! What the FUCK?!"

"You talked to Kevin?" Asks Cody, Kevin can barely hear him through two phones.

"Is Roman still there?" Questions Seth, politely

"..."

"ROMAN LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKER GET AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT NOW!"

"Roman no" Mutters Cody and the sound of movement echoes through the multiple phone calls.

"SHUT IT SETH! YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK ABOUT CODY!" Shouts Roman through the phone

"OH WONDERFUL YOU ARE SO HIGH AND MIGHTY FOR ONLY LITERALLY SCREWING HIM!" Retorts Seth

"SETH!" Yells Cody, embarrassment clear in his voice.

"AND YOU CODY! ROMAN!? ROMAN?! OF EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER ROMAN?!" There is a beat of silence before Cody replies

"Yeah, in my defence when I first got there who were my other options? You, Seth? You hated me. Kevin? He was still trying to work things out with Sami, I wasn't about to get involved in that, the same goes for Sami. Jey? He was a part of the bloodline as well. Randy? I really didn't want my first relationship back to be one of my exes. Brock? Ha! Drew? Again another ex. And everyone else was already in relationships. Roman was there when I needed him and we never minced words about what we wanted. Even when we were directly fighting the bloodline we both knew how to draw a line. We left the belts, the family matters, the anger outside."

"I'm calling Dustin" Threatens Randy sternly

"NO!" Yells Cody, fear clear at the idea of his overprotective brother being brought into the situation.

"So you know what You are doing is wrong" Admonishes Randy

"1. Making a lot of assumptions and 2. Dustin gave people the shovel talk just because he thought they looked like the kind of people I would date! If he found out I was actually fucking someone he would have an aneurysm. You would be killing my brother, Randy."

"You know what, we're in the same city next week we'll talk more about this in person"

Kevin hears noises of agreement through the phones before everyone hangs up.That Leaves Kevin alone in his bus with his very frustrated thoughts. He could kinda see why Roman felt like one of the only good options during Cody's return but he couldn't fathom why Cody would keep up with Roman after everything that happened with him, with them.

He replays the conversation in his mind and one small line sticks out to him

"I really didn't want my first relationship back to be one of my exes."

Cody and Roman had both said that they were only seeing each other for stress relief but Cody had just said he had been looking for a relationship. Did something change? Kevin was good at telling when people were lying and he didn't think Cody was lying when he said he and Roman only saw each other for stress relief. He still does wounder if something happened.

Kevin's phone buzzed with a message from Cody

Cody: Sorry about all of that ;_; I didn't really want anyone to find out, much less like this. Thank you for the breakfast, would you like it back? Or Money for it?

Kevin] smiled at the message, despite Cody's terrible taste in men he is still a good person.

Kevin: Nah you can keep it, just make sure Romeo doesn't get any

Cody sends a picture of Roman, actually wearing clothes thankfully, sitting across the table from Cody looking very annoyed with the food Kevin bought earlier laid across the table with the message:

Cody: Roman says it's cruel and unusual punishment

Kevin: Good

[generational-atrophy]

Can I request Hetalia main 8 with an S/O who has bad periods that the nations don't understand.

Ivan probably would get stuck asking Ukraine about it and get mildly creeped out when she tells him about boob pain.

(Hetalia Main 8 X Reader) S/O with bad periods

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N JHFDGHJDKF YEAH but for ivan specifically i would argue he is actually pretty familiar with the struggles. Dear people who have periods i am so sorry. also i didnt do japan again sorry if u wer looking for him i wi. l do him seperately <3

Trigger Warning: None, just fluff!

Oh boy. You’re gonna have to be one teaching him about… everything related to periods. He’ll be like “What’s so bad? It’s just like a little scrape, isn’t it?” and by the end of the night he is Mortified by the process menstruating people have to go through. He is never going to downplay your pain again, don’t worry.

But he doesn’t know what to do to take care of you really… that’s his vice. He’ll just end up buying everything he can possibly think of to comfort you, and I mean… it’s something. It’ll dull the pain a little bit to eat an insane amount of chips while he plays with your hair all night.

If your legs go out or you need to go to the hospital during your time of the month, he is fully capable of carrying you wherever you need to go. Speeding laws be damned! When your entire body is trying to kill you from the inside out, you are the most important thing in the world to him.

For a long time, Arthur thought it was… unrefined to talk about things like periods. Of course, now he knows better, but that also means… he has no idea what’s going on down there. Or what it does to the body. So when you tell him about the back pain, the cravings, the light-headedness, the nausea… he is probably gonna be pretty doubting. Until you collapse or throw up on him.  Then he’ll take care of you, hand and foot.

Literally. He loves giving massages, and he’s weirdly good at it. Of course, he’ll get you some pain meds (the good pain meds, too) and snacks, but also his hands are not gonna leave your body until your time of the month is over. 

But until then, he is very concerned. Even if it’s the umpteenth time you’ve been with him through it, he’s still begging you to go to the doctor. Anytime anything does even slightly worse, he’s grabbing his keys, getting ready to speed you to the emergency room.

Francis may sympathize, but he really does not… understand the severity of the situation. When you moan about not getting out of bed, he’s just confused and a little annoyed. Sure, periods are painful, but… you’ve had so many, aren’t you used to it by now? 

Feel free to educate him. Or hit him. Both work.

After that, he’s not making you get out of bed. He may not know your pain, but he is sure as hell not gonna force you to do anything. If your job tries to get you to come in, he’ll even start a strike outside for you <3

And considering that you’re probably his first partner who gets that much pain from your time of the month, he has no idea what to get you. Get him a list, and make sure you tell him not to find healthier alternatives cause otherwise you’re getting gross chocolate that’s supposed to help with pain. He’s trying to help… he’s just weirdly terrible at this specific part.

Don’t worry! He’s had to come up with remedies for this exact problem since before the invention of the wheel! It won’t taste great, but he’ll have you back in shape in no t- wait, why isn’t it working?! What do you mean your boobs hurt more now?!

He’s… really concerned for you the whole time. It’s hard for him to leave your side, even if you insist you’re used to it. I mean, surely this many cold compresses should relieve your… unorthodox pains. Frankly, he’s impressed. How many years have you been going through this? And without him to wait on you, hand and foot?! A shame…

If you need anything, he’ll happily make it for you. Yes, make it. He wants to be sure your care is as perfect as possible, so he only trusts his own hands. But maybe be wary if your legs tend to give out… his old bones are not meant to be carrying anyone around for too long. But of course, he’ll still do his best for you.

The Braginsky family has been cursed for… well, ever… with terrible medical conditions, so he is very familiar with the suffering caused by periods. He’s heard Natalya wail and moan for hours on end, and he is not about to let you go through the same pain! He will rip the radiator out of the wall to use as a heating pad if he has to!

He doesn’t panic as much as the others would, he already knows what you need and had it at home. That means he is not leaving your side for even a second! If you suddenly get new pains, lose feeling in anything, or have any other emergency, he is fully prepared to sweep you off your feet and help you deal with it. And he’s had to do much grosser things than take care of someone he loves, don’t worry about that.

Like you could bleed on his leg and he would not even notice, much less be upset. He’s just like, “Oh, dear, are you running out of anything? I can pick anything up for you if you need.”

OH YOU POOR DARLING! Don’t worry, he already called into work for you! You need snacks? Heated blankets? Medication? Stuffed animals? For him to hold you in his arms? He’s there! No questions asked! (He has quite a low pain tolerance himself, so he is nothing but empathetic towards you during your time of need.)

If it’d make you feel better… he’d love to massage your stomach... Don’t look at him like that! He just wants to help!

Also, if he sees you trying to put on any tight and uncomfortable clothing, he is getting you out of that stuff asap. If you need to go anywhere, he’ll go for you! Don’t stuff yourself into such suddenly ill-fitting clothing… you still look beautiful to him. 

And if it gets too bad, you have the fastest (and most dangerous) driver in all of Italy to get you to the emergency room ASAP. So don’t worry your pretty little head, Feli’s got you!

Just because Ludwig knows all about the medical side of periods, does not mean he knows how to actually deal with you when you’re in horrible, horrible pain. The fact that although it may make you feel better, you are not up for doing anything, is just baffling to him. He may try to drag you out of bed to stretch and exercise. Please bite him when he does so.

Once you start describing your actual symptoms, he starts getting light-headed. No way… this happens every month? Incalculable back pain on top of your uterus exploding? You sure you don’t need a doctor? It’s really no hassle to carry you to the car, promise! But also, you could just take him up on that offer and change your mind and ask for ice cream. He would do it. Just saying.

Anything to relieve your suffering, really. He’s spending all his time worrying about you, so he’ll get anything you want without question. He can’t stand seeing you in so much pain… but he also can’t help but feel so blessed to have been born biologically male. Basically, you’ve got a servant whose in love with you for a week.

[brunhielda]

New idea:

You have pretty set magic system with types of magic wielders in pretty well defined categories. Sometimes people do some wild and unique stuff in those categories, but they are categorized nonetheless.

Marvel’s new witch system from Agatha All Along, for example. (Inspiration, but this would still be funny for any system- it would be hilarious in Avatar, or DnD)

Someone new joins the group, who just sort of shrugs and says “I tell stories,” and refuses to elaborate any further. Everyone has different ideas- maybe they mean divination, maybe they are faking, maybe they think they have powers but are really just a wannabe.

But MAYBE, just maybe, they are the most powerful one there?!

Turns out newbie is just BENDING LUCK around anything they are involved in and mildly shifting the universe to suit their needs?!

They observe the situation, then either tell the problem or the group at large- “I have heard this story, you have too, it’s about (insert major trope here). But this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. ____ ALWAYS does _____ because _____. What is wrong here? Why is the story going wrong?”

They don’t mind control any opponents, or make anything big and miraculous happen. Nothing suddenly appears out of thin air to save the day. But some imperceptible tone just SHIFTS and suddenly, things might just work out for everyone after all.

Like, in a tv show/cartoon, the ONLY thing that changes during their story is the background music. Everything else remains the same. It is still a precarious situation, it’s just winnable now.

After awhile, the whole group has to acknowledge that though they can’t define it, it is very real, and they refuse to go anywhere without their luck bender.

They comedy (beyond shock value) comes from this: They cannot be defined by any of the categories of magic, which confuses, annoys, and just PISSES some people off.

“What do you mean, tell stories?!”

Shrug “I don’t know, I tell stories and things work out.”

“You… change reality?”

“Not really. Everything stays the same. It just works out for me. When it might not have before.”

(Person looks at other group member, who shrugs)

“They tell stories.”

“But what does that MEAN?!”

Basically just an unknowingly genre savy character who tells all the antagonists and the occasional natural disaster “no, you are doing it wrong.” 😂

Example- in Agatha all along, this witch would have walked over to Mama Harkness’s ghost and said “Now I agree Agatha deserves to die. Not disputing that. At this point she has done some terrible things. But from what I understand you stood in a circle around a pyre and tried to burn her- is that right?”

“She was evil. It had to be done.”

“I feel like that COULD be debated, but not right now. My problem is this- I know that story. Everyone knows this story. A mother realizes she has raised an evil child. That the child is going to hurt other mother’s children.”

“Exactly. You understand my pain.”

“No I don’t think I do, actually. Because in the version I know, the mother goes with. If a child is evil, it is not the child’s fault. The first time a mother looks at her child and says “this one is MINE.” They enter into contract. To care for, to love, and to take responsibility for, to serve in place as punishment. So when a Mother turns to look at their child, and sees they are evil, that they must be stopped to protect others, then she sends them off to sleep with soothing poison. She does not let them suffer for Mother’s sins. And then mother drinks it herself, to make sure child has someone in the next world, to atone for her part. If you thought fire was necessary then you were supposed to drug her first and climb on the pyre with her. Maybe if she had seen the world some and returned maybe, maybe, you had some justification, but she was still in your care, and you abandoned her when she needed you. You did not love her enough to take responsibility for her. You did this WRONG. Which makes me wonder- what else did you get wrong? Was she really evil all those years ago? Or were you just eager to shift blame? I agree she is evil now, and she will have to atone for everything she has done in the centuries since, but for what happened that day? What happened before? If she had anything to atone for, she did when her mother turned on her and she was left utterly alone in the world. You have no claim here. Punishment was dealt for both your sins that day. Go, or we will make you.”

It is just talking. Just reframing around a story trope that highlights what is wrong in the situation. That’s it. Is it even magic? In DnD for example, could it just be absurdly high charisma masquerading as magic? Did luck actually bend, or was the character just distracting/deescalating/convincing? Is it both? Are they convincing the UNIVERSE that this should go differently? (John Constantine in DC Universe claims all magic is this, and I find that neat).

“No no no. The story doesn’t go this way…”

[sephie-books]

ok SO, the DFZ Changling trilogy by Rachel Aaron

the story:

Once upon a time, magic returned to the world, along with dragons, magic users, fairies, spirits, and gods

This story takes place in the DFZ, the Detroit Free Zone. The city of Detroit became a sentient free spirit and living city. She builds and holds dominion on her domain, and she has ruled that everyone is free to live their life on her terms within her limits, and she is no longer bound to the United States.

Once upon a time, a changling was left in place of a human girl, however the parents were terrible anyway and once the little girl started showing problems, they dumped her into a psych ward and abandoned her. The little changling girl cried and cried, as at first, she didn't even know she was a changling, only that she was a monster that was being punished. She had fur and claws, sharp teeth, and could barely see, and each day she was abandoned by the nurses, talked about in fear, and forced to hide under the bed from the cruelty of the place. Her only solace was her treasure, a silver thread tied 'round her wrist that only she could see and feel, which connected her to her sister.

One day, a wizard walked into her room and once he placed his hand upon her, he forced back the fur and claws and teeth, and she became a little girl again. She wept in gratitude and was compelled to pledge her service to the wizard, as he had stated she was dying, and the only way to save herself was to pledge herself to him.

Turned out he was an evil blood mage, and for a long time afterward, she was abused and forced to do evil things for him. She was trapped with another kidnapped child, a little boy who the wizard also made do even worse things as he was being groomed to be his apprentice.

One day, many years later, both now adults that were still trapped by the evil wizard - the evil wizard disappeared without a trace.

This was bad as the wizard controlled the pills that kept the changling human and stable. Without them, she turned right back into a monster, and she would rather die than be a monster.

SO - the clock is ticking as they try to find out what the hell is going on, why the fuck some shitty kaiju movie is being advertised on every possible outlet, and what the fuck the evil wizard was scheming.

continued:

SO the premise was really good and got me hooked. The main character Lola is really likeable as is the other characters

HOWEVER, the book (listed as Urban Fantasy) couldn't make up it's mind whether it was YA, New Adult, or actual adult Urban Fantasy

like there were some reaaaaaaaaaallly good parts, and some parts where the author peppered in pop culture, and then decided to be stupid YA protagonists.

it got mildly annoying sometimes, especiallyyyyyyyyy towards the 3rd book with Dee and Toothy. Dee had glimmerings of actual character and I wish the author would have developed that more instead of the stupid YA shit.

I wish amazon would just FUCKING SAY if a book was YA or New Adult. I'm sorry, there's a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE between YA, New Adult, and Adult. FUCKING PICK ONE.

But again, the story was so interesting that I skimmed over the annoying parts to get back to the actual story.

I really really loved the slow progression of interaction and growth between Lola and Valente. This was done really well and actually made me gasp a long drawn out gasp in book 3 as they FINALLY connected and said how they felt. Literally gasped like a victorian maiden, so good shit there.

The build up of the overarching story and what the fuck the evil wizard was actually fucking doing was good-ish. The evil fairy was a good antagonist, and Lola's overarching growth as a character and person was good. However the ending felt very rushed and kind of stupid actually after all that build up tbh.

And Valente's ultimate fate seemed like the author reallllllllllllllyyyy wanted him to be the DFZ version of Ghost Rider (which he mostly was to begin with). Which ehhh is cool, but I think it could have been tweaked a bit more? idk

Tbh, Lola's and Valente's relationship was really good and I wish the author had given it more time and room to breathe.

Anyhoo, TL;DR:

These were pretty good and I recommend them if any of this sounded interesting or good to you. They're pretty cheap at $4.99 per book.

I might give the author's other series "Hell for Hire" a shot

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2024: A Wizard is never late

Shuumatsu Train Doko e Iku (Train to the End of the World)

If you want a reason for why this post is woefully late, it’s this show: since we’re going in ascending order of quality here, it must come first, yet I have a hard time saying anything about it. I suppose I can start with the most obvious problem: I will probably watch your original anime, but I do that to get away from light novel levels of insufferable dialogue. Yet this one definitely goes with the NisioisiN school of writing, which is to say, talk a lot first, then figure out a point at your convenience. This definitely doesn’t endear the show to me and makes it mildly annoying right from the start, but it could still be salvageable - but then Shuumatsu Train just turns out to be not particularly good at any of its selling points. For a weird show it’s not weird enough. For a comedy it’s not funny enough. For a character drama the characters are too superficial. For a profound allegory, it's much too vague. And even though the parts are hardly stellar, the result somehow still ends up as less than the sum of them. It‘s not a total write-off since at least there is some ambition here, but I really can’t say that being more meaningful than not at all is enough of a payoff for something that is mostly just basic attempts at wacky humor presented in an annoying fashion. 4/10

Yuru Camp S3

So, speaking of ambition. My last contact with Yuru Camp was me getting very mad at S2‘s incessant products and services shilling. Admittedly S3 turns this down to an acceptable level, but that only makes the deeper issue more apparent: Yuru Camp is and has always been astonishingly vapid, and three seasons and a movie in all the vibes in the world can no longer make up for it. I won’t even complain that the show is no longer about camping in any meaningful capacity (since I never cared and at least the local-tourism-and-food lane we‘re in now doesn’t require purchase of specialized gear), but godammit if personality-free blobs looking at small footbridges for three episodes didn’t kill my enthusiasm for any of this mush. It‘s still broadly inoffensive, but at this point I feel like I’ve thoroughly exhausted anything this show is ever willing to offer. And Yama no Susume shows that you can have all the theoretical positives of a Yuru Camp with compelling enough characters, so there’s really no excuse. 5/10

Yoru no Kurage wa Oyogenai (Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night)

I don’t know where this recent trend of cute but reasonably serious girl band anime came from (I would like to think MyGO, but more likely it‘s Bocchi the Rock + the most blatantly obvious and viable way to improve on Bocchi). But here is Jellyfish and uh… it certainly makes an attempt. The first impression is very positive, since Doga Kobo provides pleasant visuals (per usual), but it quickly becomes apparent that it’s the writing that is really holding this one back. It’s not even bad ideas or a lack of ideas, since the concepts this show wants to tackle are generally quite good. But pretty much every execution on those plot ideas is botched in some way, be it by resolving them in a stupidly simple way (impostor syndrome? just do your best!) or by just having a character read out their character arc really dramatically. A bunch of plot points don't even make sense when you look at them in context of the ostensibly real world this show takes place in, and the ending is a massive nothingburger. It's all stuff that's barely passable when something like Love Live does it, but in something that aims higher it seems like a first draft at best and more likely just extremely amateurish. One can only wonder if you gave such a concept to a seasoned veteran like Jukki Hanada... 6/10

Tonari no Youkai-san

Tonari no Youkai-san started out as a rather simple show that I really liked: a mostly but not exclusively lighthearted depiction of a world where Youkai are real and the weird situations that can create, with likeable characters carrying it along. But then it became apparent that what it really wants to do is back-to-back KEY-style sadpiano scenarios. While those aren't bad in moderate amounts, the fact that every scenario now had to be about some heartbreaking backstory no matter what quickly became rather tiring. And then, if it wasn't apparent enough that this show was writing itself into the weeds, it capped the season off with a completely bizarre sci-fi multiverse action arc where everyone dies (very sad!) but then comes back alive because power of friendship beats entropy or something. Well, at least I prefer laughing at this nonsense to being annoyed at contrived tearjerkers, I suppose. I wouldn't call it quality though. 6/10

Dungeon Meshi (Delicious in Dungeon)

When the Dungeon Meshi started, I just didn't get it. The hyperbole around this show (mostly coming from manga fans, I think) was clearly not befitting a very mediocre gimmick anime where even the gimmick had been done better elsewhere multiple times. I do have to admit that as it went on, I could start to see where people were coming from: Once the cooking dies down a bit, the characters start to develop a bit and it finds its pace, Dungeon Meshi's "default mode" is an entertaining adventure anime with some nice characters, decent humor and engaging action. So far so good. However, I'll still call the show merely above average because it's in its default mode less often than you'd think. Every time I started to like something, Dungeon Meshi immediately had to head off in some random other direction that I don't care for: The cooking I did not care for in the beginning becomes vestigial but never stops taking up airtime nonetheless. The nerdy exposition about dungeon mechanics should not merit more than a footnote in a splatbook, but never stops taking up a lot of airtime nonetheless (it's also a painful reminder of the "worldbuilding over narrative" nonsense that I hate, but Dungeon Meshi isn't the worst offender here so I'll let it slide). The show expects me to care about other, far less interesting parties after I just barely mustered up enough enthusiasm to see Chilchuck as more than a spare Marcille when Marcille can't play the tsukkomi herself. Falin turns into a tragic zombie chicken. They adopt an annoying cat. It goes on and on and I'm not thrilled. I will admit though that I will likely still watch the sequel, mostly because Trigger really does a fantastic job with this adaptation on all levels, which at the very least manages to keep it watchable even in the doldrums. I just wish the source material was more consistent. 6/10

Kaiju No. 8

Every season there's some random anime that isn't particularly great, but still competent enough to merit a watch. It's usually some light comedy like Torture Princess, but every once in a while it's something else. This season it's Isekai QC, but in spring it was something even less likely: Kaiju #8, a Jump-brand premium shounen. Yeah, that's a surprise. It just doesn't do anything particularly wrong, apart from the genre staples that it must do wrong: The pacing is bad, but just regular bad. The tone is all over the place, but just regular all over the place. The protagonist isn't as good as he first seems, but not as bad as he could be either. It starts out as "less miserable Attack on Titan where people shoot at huge monsters with guns at shounen powerlevel efficiency", which is extremely awkward, but eventually it settles into a more standard "hit bad guy with sick special attacks" groove, which isn't exactly exciting but at least clearly something the show wants to be. In short, nothing special but the bullshit does not exceed the maximum level I will tolerate as the price of entry to epic dudes epically fighting in an epic fashion. There always is a point with these where you have to ruthlessly cut your losses, but it did not reach it in its first season when the average genremate reaches it within the first episode. That's... something. 6/10

Nijiyon S2

I wasn't even going to write about this because what is there to say about Nijiyon, except that Nijiyon is that rare mini spinoff that actually gets better and starts to outshine the main show at points. Half the time. The other half is still very basic and very arbitrary 4koma hijinks, but an improvement is an improvement. 6/10

Bartender: Glass of God

Why did they make a second Bartender anime in 2024? I can't answer this conclusively but I will say that if Suntory didn't pay for at least half of this production, they got something for free. With that out of the way, the most interesting thing I can say about Bartender is how it compares to Gin & Sonic '06. The old one was certainly ambitious, but in a rather obvious way: Treating the Bartender mystique as somthing close to supernatural and presenting it in a very abstract and stagey way. This is great when it works, but just as often merely comes off as extremely pretentious. The new one... just doesn't do any of that. It's a very straightforward, simple story with actual characters and stuff. It's workable enough with some stronger and some weaker episodes, and even though it does not even attempt to reach the highs of the old one, it doesn't sniff its own farts and does its best to avoid the old man machismo stank that faintly polluted the first adaptation. So I will actually call it better in some ways, maybe even on average, but it still can't compete with a show that had a better reason to exist than to get you excited for Yamazaki whiskey. 6/10

Euphonium S3

I've had my ups and downs with Yoof, and I will say that while some nags remain, I am satisfied with how it managed to (hopefully) wrap up. In fact, S3 might be the best the show has ever been. We were never going to get the cartoonish and quite frankly more entertaining presentation of S1 back, but for what it's worth, S3 takes the overcooked presentation and histrionic character writing of S2 and brings them down to a palatable level, and that makes it at least worth thinking about. Another big point in its favor is that it's now finally truly the Kumiko show, and not just the Kumiko stumbles into other people's drama show. Cast additions like Kanade and Mayu are prety great as well so yeah, I had a good time. Really my biggest complaint is that S3 might actually be a little too good at character drama, because at one point it seemed it was on the verge of starting to question a few of its core assumptions. I never expected it to have doubts over whether letting your school club control your entire existence is in fact a good thing, but ideas like Reina actually being as insane as she comes across and that Taki actually being as terrible as a teacher as he comes across seemed extremely promising. But nah, of course Kumiko just had to be honest with herself, that solved all the problems and then the show just coasted to the most predictable ending imaginable. Euphonium always seemed like it could be way better with a bit more risk-taking, but this was a particularly disappointing moment for the show to be itself. Anyway, if you just expect Euphoinum you're getting the good Euphonium here. 7/10

Girls Band Cry

So, about that "Hanada writing Jellyfish" quip I made earlier? What if that actually happened, in the same season no less? Yeah, these two shows are shockingly similar but unlike Jellyfsh, Girls Band Cry does things right... for the most part. You need to get used to the somewhat janky CG animation, but you're getting some great expressiveness in the deal so that's no problem. You'll also have to put up with Hanada's trademark yuribaiting, a pretty weak ending (as if these two shows didn't already copy each other's homework enough) and music that is much too obvously coming from the Vocaloid camp for my liking. Apart from that, GBC is very good. Not quite as good as MyGO (which has even better character dynamics and I still can't get past how shockingly high its quality is for a franchise anime), but it's really close. So close in fact that I don't even feel like pointing out in detail why GBC is good, because it really is MyGO again: Very flawed yet likeable girls try to get their mental in order while swinging between goofy and depressed and occasionally making music. It's not complicated, but when the character writing delivers (i.e., by seasoned pros like Yuniko Ayana or Jukki Hanada), it just works. If this is a trend now, I'll gladly take it. 8/10

[likecrapthroughagoose]

Godzilla x Kong gets... probably a 7.5 or 8 out of 10 from me. I liked it a lot, but the last act felt like it was rushing (which should never be the case for a 2+ hour movie). The action was really good though and the visual effects, while dwarfed by Minus One, were excellent.

Spoiler-y opinions below:

Okay so- Kong's portions of the movie were actually really strong. Granted, I'm easily amused by anything that involves monkeys falling down a lot. But in all seriousness, you can tell they had the most story ideas for Kong. His fights are good, the monsters his arc introduces are cool, and the way they've aged his design is also pretty nifty. You will believe a gorilla can be daddy.

That said, the strength of Kong's part of the movie brings me to my main complaint. The other two focal points, Godzilla and the human cast really didn't feel like they had as much to do. Less so for the human cast, which I'll get to in a moment, but it kinda felt like Godzilla was sidelined.

Weirdly, that isn't to say he wasn't in the movie. Godzilla's scenes are almost as plentiful as Kong's, if not equally so. The movie, to its credit, does a pretty good job of giving everyone equal-ish screentime, so Godzilla does get plenty of scenes. The problem is that most of them are just him going from point A to point B to point C and so forth.

In fairness, Goji's scenes are at least entertaining. He gets some superb city destruction and the best fights in the movie (and it has plenty) are his. Though speaking of fights, I am disappointed that we didn't get to see any new-old monsters. Scylla is a cool enough design on its own that I don't mind it, but Tiamat is similar enough to Manda that I felt like SOME acknowledgement could be made. I mean shoot, just have them be called Titanus Ebirah and Titanus Manda on the computer radar thingie they keep cutting to. Problem solved.

At least we get Godzilla sleeping in the Colosseum like a cat. It's a cheap pop, but I'm still here for it.

The human story is decent, if nothing special. The only returning cast are Rebecca Hall, Kaylee Hottle, and Brian Tyree Henry. Dan Stevens joins them as... I guess Kong's veterinarian for lack of a better word, rounding out the quartet of focal characters. I don't know if I enjoyed his character or if he annoyed me. Hottle and Hall deliver more of the "constantly mildly uncomfortable deaf girl who just wishes everyone would leave her pet gorilla alone and her overprotective adopted mother" stuff. It was fine in the last movie, it's fine here. Henry's conspiracy theorist character is... less irksome than he could have been. While in the previous film he was a surprising amount of depth for the archetype he was portraying, here he's firmly in the comic relief role. It never quite veers into annoying, but there are parts where it does leave you going, "okay, but why does he need to be here?" He at least makes it out better than Stevens, who may be the world's first example of a token white guy.

All that said, the human plot was actually kinda working for me. The whole "lost civilization deep within the hollow earth that harnesses mysterious natural powers and also worships/summons Mothra" thing felt like a really fun tribute to the kind of story you'd see in the classic Showa Era films without being anachronistic.

As much as I complain, there was something I noticed beyond the movie itself that made me happy. The theater was packed, which is great to see, but more than that there was a ton of kids in there, right around the same age I was when I was first getting into Godzilla. The same age I was when I got picked on for liking it. I couldn't help but look around the theater after the movie and feel vindicated. I was right, this shit is cool as fuck. Suck my ass, Samuel from fifth grade.

Anyway yeah it's fun. Worth seeing.

[robo-dino-puppies]

I'm so tired ughhhhh for the past whatever months basically everyone who I've ever helped out with petsitting decided to take vacations one after the other so I've been running around doing that, and although I do love (most 😅) of the pets it's really not my favorite to stay at other people's houses. all my stuff is at home :( so that's exhausting.

I'll put some good things first:

-saw some snakes finally! I haven't seen as many this year as I used to. this one wanted to be a square I guess?

-SMOL CRAB

-took care of a friend's cat and he is an AFFECTION MACHINE so that was sweet (Sophie is not very affectionate. I mean she can be, but only in her own way, and because of that I really truly appreciate when she shows me any scrap of kindness lmao. but I miss having a cat that wants to just hang out with me…)

-despite being all over the place I have managed to play dragon age thank u gaming laptop - I'll do another post for that :D

cut for the less fun stuff~

some annoying/angry-making things that just all added up:

-phone had a spicy pillow battery situation, luckily nothing exploded or caught on fire (tho it got SUPER FUCKING HOT - thankfully I had a backup phone of the same model bc I'm not ready to give up my headphone jack)

-but when I transferred all my shit, an app I use for my job got cranky and I have no idea why! I've switched phones before and it's been fine! and this is the exact same model!

-the weather (hot)

-tendon in my elbow got mad when walking a new-to-me dog that likes to pull

-elderly neighbor had a health situation that I was the first one to discover (she's fine but. it was stressful)

-there are a lot of small flying bugs swarming everywhere. I keep walking into them

-elderly neighbor nearly fell multiple times when I was on a walk with her and her dog and I had to dive to catch her so she wouldn't faceplant

-which made muscles on one side of my back and the opposite shoulder very angry

-inevitably: swallowed a bug

-I walked a mild-mannered dog I'm familiar with but when some unleashed (friendly-looking) dogs approached her she started FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT snarling, lunging, barking (while my muscles were still sore from elderly neighbor incident)

-owner was like "oh I thought I told you. yeah she's started reacting aggressively to random dogs sometimes" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ OK THAT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT

-🤬

-also angry at people who let their dogs off leash in public areas

-people who don't pick up their dogs' shit

-… people

-there were guests of that dog's owners staying at her house so I had to coordinate by text every time I went to walk her and… I know this is like. a dumb first-world social anxiety problem but. it was just exhausting. they were nice and it was fine but two weeks of texting strangers multiple times a day was just ONE MORE THING

-said dog apparently stole a bunch of muffins from them so while on a walk with me she had diarrhea. to put it... mildly. (she's a golden and has plenty of butt-fur) fun!

-allergies

-headaches

like. can i not be so tired anymore. that would be nice.

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Should Abigail Leave Ben? Part 3: Disaster

In Part 1 and Part 2, I examined Ben and Abigail’s early interactions in National Treasure and argued that the film did a solid job of conveying their mutual interest in one another long before Abigail got roped into the treasure hunt.

Long before Ben saved Abigail’s life, wowed her with a treasure hunting extravaganza, and became one of the wealthiest people she knows, she was interested.

Long before Abigail risked throwing her career away to aid Ben on his quest, and committed a few felonies for him along the way, he was interested in her.

In short, I buy it. I buy that these two people had enough of a foundation to form an actual relationship that is based on something more than the adrenaline of the best/worst weekend of their lives.

However.

It’s time we talk about the elephant in the room,

the harbinger of disaster,

the hurricane-force ice storm that will doom this ship and its crew:

National Treasure: Book of Secrets.

Let's do this ↓

My entire thesis about Ben and Abigail’s relationship only applies to the first National Treasure, okay? Like, in a bubble.

In my mind there is a distinct divergence between the two films and one does not lead necessarily into the other unless the sequel is actively playing in front of my eyeballs.

But.

If we are to take Ben and Abigail’s relationship in National Treasure: Book of Secrets as even mildly canon THEN SHE SHOULD DUMP HIS ASS AND NEVER LOOK BACK.

BoS succumbs to the bad Hollywood habit of resetting characters back to their first movie starting positions so we can live the first movie over again rather than progress forward with a (gasp!) new and different story.

In the BoS world, this reset looks like:

Ben and Abigail are once again not together and she is holding him back from getting what he wants (treasure)

Ben is once again the laughing stock of the historical community

Nobody seems to believe he’ll find this treasure even though he found a $10 Billion dollar cash of gold literally three years ago??

Riley is an undervalued punching bag

and so on

That’s obnoxious from a storytelling perspective because WE DON’T ACTUALLY LEARN ANYTHING NEW ABOUT OUR THREE MAIN CHARACTERS.

The only people we really learn anything about are Emily and Patrick, because Emily is necessarily injecting new information and new emotions into the story by virtue of not being there the first time.

In terms of Abigail and Ben’s relationship, the “sequel reset” back to square one means that my entire thesis falls apart if you include BoS in the calculations.

I’ve been arguing that the first movie goes out of its way to establish that Ben and Abigail have mutual interests, and a mutual interest in each other, outside of the treasure hunt and that this is the actual solid ground on which they would grow a relationship, not anything that happened after Ben stole the Declaration.

Book of Secrets says, actually no. With no treasure hunt to force them together, Ben and Abigail don't communicate well and are kind of petty with each other, and ESPECIALLY, Ben is a dick to her.

Going back to “no new information,” we already know that Benjamin Franklin Gates has a dickish streak, and is fully capable of being a dick to Abigail, especially when he thinks he’s right. We see this in National Treasure after Ben and Riley rescue Abigail from the catering truck.

Ben is high on the adrenaline of the heist and rescue, and is in a mood my mom would call “full of piss and vinegar.” He has fun being a smug douchebag.

BEN You're still shouting. It's starting to annoy. You'd do well, Dr Chase, to be a bit more civilized in this instance.

I don’t have a problem with this scene or this character trait though because it makes sense to me in the moment. He’s just done an insane thing and gotten away with it. He’s pulled of a heist, no one got hurt, and he’s got the fucking Declaration of Independence in his car.

Of course he wants to flaunt it, especially to the person who both wouldn’t help him and said it couldn’t be done. It’s a moment of obnoxious showmanship that feels totally in character, especially for someone who’s been written off and doubted for most of his life.

A critical element of this behavior though, is that it’s an outlier. This isn’t how Ben normally treats people. He’s not, like, a Tony Stark type, for whom being a smug asshole is his default setting and a cornerstone of the character. Ben Gates is, in general, earnest, curious, and driven. He isn’t—at least for me—fundamentally a jerk.

In the first movie.

In the second movie it seems like…yeah, smug douchebag is his default setting. Or at least that’s the pattern he’s fallen into as far as how he treats Abigail and Riley.

Now, there are plenty of plausible reasons for this. The first movie ends with Ben having become absurdly wealthy, admired, and respected in his field, a total 180 from how he’s lived the first 40 years of his life. That could turn anybody’s head. Ben could have easily become a jerk slowly over the intervening three years.

Except if that was the case—if that was the theme of BoS or the arc the film wanted Ben to take—he would have to have changed by the end of the movie. If Ben’s sequel arc was that he’d lost touch with himself and the things and people that matter to him most because of the spotlight he was suddenly under, he would have found those things again by the end and made things right. That's what a character arc is, the journey someone takes to change.

But that’s not Ben’s arc. In BoS he actually doesn't have one.

Ben’s "arc" is that Abigail and Riley keep telling him he’s not listening to them or respecting their needs and boundaries, and Ben keeps deciding that doesn’t matter as long as he’s right. And by the end of the movie…he still thinks that. He has not changed in any meaningful way and then Abigail takes him back anyway!

Abigail’s "arc" is that she doesn’t like Ben ignoring her input and assuming things about her and their relationship even if he turns out to be right…and then she decides that that’s okay because he found another treasure.

I would love to say there’s more to it than that but…

I hope by this point I have proven my credentials in the “reading emotional and thematic nuance into National Treasure” department, but I don’t think Book of Secrets has all that much going on under the hood.

If you do see something else I’d love to hear it! Drop a tag, comment or reblog!

And honestly? It just kind of makes me sad. There are a lot of things about BoS that make me slightly annoyed, but Ben and Abigail’s relationship makes me tired and sad. Because I like them together! I like how the first movie set them up as kindred spirits, but that shared passion and curiosity is gone in the sequel.

Something, something, honeymoon phase. Sure. But this isn’t a cutting realistic drama about a relationship falling apart. It’s National Treasure.

This moment, when Ben and Abigail embrace after the water ordeal, is supposed to make us feel good. Like, Yay! They lived! And they're finally back together!

But every time I get here it bums me out.

Because while the first National Treasure went out of its way to establish that Ben and Abigail had the makings of a solid couple before the treasure hunt forced them together, Book of Secrets works hard to unravel that foundation. By showing their relationship falling apart, then having them get back together even though Ben has not changed or learned any kind of lesson about respecting Abigail’s input, the sequel confirms what the original worked so hard to avoid: they’re only together because of the treasure hunts.

Abigail has no reason she should take him back now, except:

He’s rich and famous again

They almost died together again

Now, she seems to have been well off from the start. She has nice clothes, a high-ranking job, and drives a BMW in the sequel, not to mention she was getting his house?? They’re not married! File under: future article topics.

And while she could theoretically be woo’d by newfound riches, Abigail has never shown herself to be that interested in the monetary aspect of treasure hunting. In the first treasure room, she makes a b-line for Alexandria scrolls, not any of the gold. While I’m sure they are valuable, they’re more valuable for their historical value than their monetary worth. (It’s Riley who’s the most outwardly money-motivated of the group.)

The realer, sadder answer for me is that—at least as presented in BoS, and I take its canon-ness with a massive grain of salt—Ben and Abigail actually aren’t that compatible. What brings them together is the adrenaline of the hunt, and trauma bond of nearly dying in each other’s arms every couple of years.

The only thing that changed about their relationship between Abigail breaking things off and taking Ben back is that they went on a fun treasure hunt, did some crimes, and both almost died under Cibola.

Which means that in another year or two, once the press has calmed down and the exhibits have opened and there are far fewer high-adrenaline treasure-related activities to focus their attention and keep them together, their relationship is going to degrade again. As BoS presents it, there is apparently nothing for their relationship to stand on outside of treasure hunting.

That makes me so frustrated! Because the first movie explicitly puts in work to avoid this! It tries to convince us that they’d make a good match even before any of the shared treasure hunt stuff happens precisely because it’d be so easy to see their relationship as something only built on these moments of peril and turmoil with no real chance of lasting.

But BoS goes back and rewrites their history to ensure that is the case.

National Treasure presents the life-or-death treasure hunt as a fascinating moment in the development of their relationship, but not what actually brings or keeps them together.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets turns around and says that all the chemistry we saw at the beginning of the first film was actually not that important, and it’s the life-or-death treasure hunts that bring and keep them together. In the mundane reality of ordinary life, there is no hope for these two people to see anything interesting in one another, or to communicate well or respect each other (cough cough, Ben), or to be a healthy, functional, or interesting-to-watch couple.

And I think that sucks!

What do you think?

Next time, let's bring in the parents!

[thtupidity]

So I actually did this a lot faster than expected so uhhh here's the character pages. There were also all the locations until Jan 2021 (or whenever the space station update was) but nothing really of importance.

Anyways here's the core crew's entries, only Jake, Tricky, Fresh, and Yutani had 4 pages unlike the 2 the others got (except for Dino, Boombot, and Miss Maia who all share a single page)

Jake, the first character you meet in subway surfers is the group's leader!

[no speach bubble]

- his grades don't actually reflect his intelligence because he's "too much of a dreamer to focus on schoolwork"

- he constantly wants to go further than everyone else which is why he doesn't turn down challenges and dares (how can this possibly go wrong)

- his need for thrill makes him kinda insensitive towards his friends, he still cares about them and will do risky things for them. Sometimes just for fun.

Tricky, meet the gang's rebel girl— and dance diva!

"I gotta admit, that my ballet training comes in handy when I'm jumping obstacles in the tunnels! But I have to be careful not to twist an ankle — my tracher and my parents would kill me..."

- she can only use her money on things her parents allow her to

- if she gets caught by Ted her parents would make sure she never skates again

- she is a complete perfectionist and takes angles and physics into consideration, and if she can't emulate it perfectly she gets frustrated

Fresh, Fresh was birn in the wrong time: his head is totally in the 1980s

"I live my life by the five elements of hip-hop: MC'ing, DJing, breakdancing, graffiti and education! Okay and skating. Is there room for a sixth element? Who decides this stuff?"

- there isn't much that we already know i.e just saying "he loves the 80s" over and over again and his paragraphs are short. Justice for my boy.

- "Fresh is the most levelheaded of the gang — good at defusing arguments and keeping them all together. He thinks before he speaks, which is kore than you can say for Jake!" ...damnnn

- He feels as if his family is stifling sometimes, so he likes being able to get away from them.

Spike, keeping it real!

[no speach bubble]

- Spike is pointed out to have his fashion more closer to the 70s compared to everyone else's 80s vibe. So food for my "Spike is older" headcanon yum yum

- His boots are shit for skating

Yutani, the gang's resident tech genius, whose inventions are out of this world!

"Whatever my home planet is like, I hope it has lower gravity than Earth — imagine the jumps and tricks you could pull off! And it'd hurt less when you fell, too."

- Yutani thinks there is a tech-based solution to any problem

- She thinks she's an alien because of her missing birth records

- Yutani being able to understand the turbine is implied to be related to her alien orgin

- She also sometimes says more than she's supposed to on her streams (let Yutani do the next interactive stream, grill her on information instead)

Lucy, the punk girl of the gang

"Who said goths have to be mopey and depressed? Sure, I hang out in dark tunnels a lot— but I know how to have fun!

- so there isn't anything important just describing her outfits. But them calling her punk and then talking about her being goth is mildly annoying.

Frank, who *is* that guy?

[no speach bubble]

- nothing much (predictably) just making fun of his clothes.

King, who made him king?

"Heavy is the head that wears the crown, that's what they alwayd day. They should try wearing a crown made of paper! Saves a lot of neck strain."

- not a subway surfer, but he hangs around them because he wants to be included in the fun (justice for King)

- His design is based off of a kid on the album "you've come a long way, baby" by Fatboy Slim

Ella, fresher than Fresh!

"That little brother of mine doesn't know real music when he hears it..."

- She likes reggae music over Hip-hop

- that's about it sadly

Ninja, the moonlight shadow! (i love this title)

"I will strike when you least expect it. Not now. Or now. Look, it won't be when you're watching me."

- He still has no canon name

- A lot of talk about ninjas being assassins so I like to take it as their way of saying Ninja has killed and will kill again.

- His Yang outfit could be useful for sneaking around in the snow

Tagbot, the cyber-surfer

"My databanks contain over three million tags in two hundred languages! I can also spell-check your tags, if you like."

- Yutani is the one who built him, and its stated that he's inspired by Jake. Love her still but would like to know her reasoning to this bold choice.

Tasha, bringing good cheer!

"Give me an "S"! Give me a "u"! Give me a "b"! Give me a "w"! Give me a "a"! Give me a "y"! What d'you mean, why? It's today's word hung word! LOOK, I JUST NEED THE "Y" AND I'VE COMPLETED IT!!"

- there isnt actually a lot here, other than like "hah bet you didn't think you'd find someone like her being a subway surfer!" So were moving on. Most of these are like this. (Justice for Tasha)

Zoe, playing dead.

"Must...tag...walls..."

- she's one of those fast zombies which is horrifying

- She's also not very talkative

- She hasn't tried to eat anyone's brain... "yet"

- Again shes implied to have been dead since the 50s

Brody, too cool for school

"I surf anywhere... beaches, subways... its all just boards to me!"

- young lifeguard

- He's posh?? Maybe??

(These all share a page unfortunately)

Dino [no sub title]

"Roar! What else do you expect me to say? Im a dinosaur."

- "maybe its secretly Yutani"

Boombot [no sub title]

"I don't break down when I break-dance!"

- I hope youre hungry. For nothing. (Justice for boombot)

Miss Maia [no sub title]

"People think i'm mysterious because I wear this respirator mask... really, I just want to avoid breathing in paint fumes. It's good sense!"

- I hope youre hungry. For nothing. (Justice for Maia)

Guard and Dog, don't let them catch you!

"This job would be great if it weren't for those kids. I'd never have to do anything! Although them the boss might fire me for doing nothing..."

- Ted's boss reveal when

- Hes always following them around the world. He's the biggest hater in the subway surfers universe no one does it like him.

- Subway company either makes him wear costumes on holidays or he just does it himself

- He dresses up as NYPD, which im pretty sure is a crime to impersonate an officer...

[thesnailtail]

i was dared to ask about the phantom thief minori au in the tags...

can we have details?

(also this au seems really cool)

;; well!!! >:D (also thank you!!)

;; small warning: later on there is a mention of hospitalisation and overworking yourself to the point of hospitalisation

;; minori and mizuki are partners at the start, two silly thieves doing silly things. the two detectives on their case are haruka and an! minori and mizuki's aliases are clover and amia.

;; the main way i can describe the next bit is: phantom thief minomizu -> ??? -> profit (domestic mizuan happens)

;; minori's reasoning for becoming a thief is that if she gets enough money from the things she takes then she can use it to make the world better right? robin hood reasoning. - haruka and an did notice the odd correlation between the heists and a sudden decrease in other crime and social problems in the area. but this thinking does lead to some unintended consequences later.

;; so now minori is the only phantom thief left in the area and haruka is the one trying to work out what the heck is going on with this case

;; then later on after haruka runs in on minori escaping and they have a very quick chat, minori worries that she offended haruka. so she calls up mizuki to give her a letter who then gives it to an who gives it to haruka.

;; that then leads to minori and haruka meeting on the roof of that detective agency and having a short little talk, mainly consisting on minori saying sorry over and over. haruka offhandedly mentions that she doesn't get paid enough for this job. so she goes to the building the next morning to get another letter from minori, this time with "just over four months of good paychecks for her" in money.

;; typical phantom thief shenanigans insue then minori almost gets shot. ive not explained it but my personal belief is rui was testing out the gun in his phantom thief card and minori happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. so she falls off of a rooftop and haruka catches her. luckily she's in casual clothes otherwise that might not have ended so well.

;; after a while this is when haruka and an get to fight. so canon haruka has problems overworking herself, well. well, haruka has to be reminded by an to eat, drink and sleep. she does the first two. she has not slept in a good week and has a caffeine dependency. so her and an argue (during which haruka is a jerk about it) about the state of her wellbeing until haruka collapses in the middle of it. and this kids is why you should take care of your health!

;; in the time when haruka is recovering in hospital, minori doesn't do any sort of heist because she feels bad. she thinks that she was the reason this happend. thought she visits haruka, saying that she was thankful for her catching her when she fell off of the building. and hey here's those unintended consequences from earlier! minori gets stuck in a loop of thoughts that are basically: she thought she was helping people, only for someone to get badly hurt because of her, so was she really even helping in the first place?

;; so when haruka gets back to her normal life, an is constantly worried about her at work. minori gets word from mizuki that she's alright. so she does one heist and no one comes.

;; she does another. and no one comes. she does a third and finally haruka shows up. so minori is absolutely panicking about if haruka's okay and haruka is just mildly annoyed at the fact this case is still ongoing. minori apologises for the problems she caused for haruka. at some point part of minori's disguise (probably the mask) falls off and haruka realises that one of the people who visited her most in the hospital was the person she's been chasing for the past 7 months-ish. yeah.

;; still working out how parts of it go on from there so im just gonna copy this bit from what i said earlier: phantom thief minori -> ??? -> profit (domestic minoharu happens)

;; other plot points im working on fitting in:

- minori gets her money from selling the things she steals to miku. miku encourages theft!

- married couple shizuai, they're a thing. main museum minori keeps stealing from so haruka has to deal with them a lot. in her sleep deprived state and it's not fun for anyone.

[heronoegg]

If you don't mind, can we please get some bakusquad hcs from your au? 🥺👉👈

YES YOU CAN ANON

Bakugo

Bakugo is albino, if she wasn't she would have brown hair like her dad.

She has special headphones she's supposed to wear when using her Quirk at all times. (She at first didn't bc Bakugo is stubborn) She insist her ears were fine until she tried to show off one day by making a big explosion and blew out her ear drums for a entire day. Don't worry recovery girl fixed it that was her last warning and it scared her so bad.

Bakugo has hearing aid's we live for this hc she does not know sign language because her hearing problems didn't start to get worse/ to the point of needing the hearing aids until she got into UA where she's using her quirk on overdrive all the time.

She loves her dad, that's her best friend. Bakugo is a daddies girl all the way.

They have daddy daughter days and he loves to buy her outfits they are best friends they go shopping together

Bakugo's dad calls her "Katsuki kitten"

Bakugo's uncle on her dad's side was the one that got her interested in mountain climbing, he would take her up when she got big enough but before that he used to bring her back cool trinkets from where ever he'd go in the world.

Bakugo has a complex relationship with her mom, it's a lack of understanding on her mom's part and the fact they are literally same personality different person doesn't help. It's hard for Mitsuki to understand Bakugo but she is still a trying parent.

If Bakugo was a parent she wouldn't be hard on her own kid as her mother was on her.

Bakugo has a young chaotic cousin who she thinks is annoying as heck that Deku never knew about because she never mentioned him and he never seen him. He wants to beat Bakugo and be better and he's just loud and annoying even to Mitsuki.

Bakugo's parents work at a modeling place that is why they are rich.

Bakugo calls Deku's mom aunty Inko but Deku does not call Mitsuki aunty lol

Bakugo developed a crush on Todoroki and only released it when they were side kicking with Endeavor.

Somestimes Bakugo and Todoroki do this thing when Todoroki jokingly leans in like "Well, i guess we gotta kiss" and then stops. At first Bakugo thought he was a freak for doing that but it became a normal thing they would do all the time and sometimes she would lean in as well when they became closer and they both just not actually kiss until one day they did.

Bakugo doesn't like being a third wheel which she usually is to a lot of people.

Bakugo and Sato cook together a lot.

Bakugo calls Sato by his name because she can't come up with something that doesn't sound like a romantic nickname for him besides Sugar jock.

Bakugo gives people nicknames cause she has a hard time remember names.

There is some of Deku's clothes at Bakugo's house incase he comes over for a sleep over they have a mattress and everything for him in Bakugo's closet.

Bakugo is friends with everyone in the Dekusquad.

Bakugo respects Uraraka because she's the only girl she knows who can lock eyes with her and take her down if she wanted to.

Bakugo likes spicy food but can't handle as much as Deku can. Nobody else in the squad except mildly Sero likes spicy food.

Bakugo's middle school friends live in this AU and they go to UA but they are in class C the one Shinsou was moved out of. Tomo (long fingers),Kirisame (short black hair) and Tsubasa (Kid with wings)

Bakugo never makes it known she is a rich kid but bought kirishima's groceries once because he's kinda poor and was about to go the the corner store for groceries and Bakugo was just not having that. Told him everything he needed put it in the cart and she would pay for it that's when they really became friends.

Bakugo ignores Togaru's existence rival who? but they fight a lot.

///

Kirishima

His parents split and he lives with his single dad.

Ryukyu is his aunt, Tatami is his sister and Tetsutetsu is his brother.

Kirishima has depression but it's diagnosed and he takes his meds.

He can't keep a secret, if you tell him something and tell him not to tell he'll go "I wont!" but if you pressure him a little bit like keep asking him once or twice he'll tell you everything.

There is dragon quirks in his fam's genes so he has retractable tail and wings.

He hates that he has to peep talk himself cause of his depression, it helps him get okay for the day.

Kirishima's and Tetsutetsu bite and wrestle eachother a lot when Yo came over once he bit him and he cried, Tatami thought it was funny.

Kirishima and Sero train together a lot Kirishima almost always wins.

Kirishima is the one who created the Bakusquad, he befriended Kaminari first then Sero, Sero like the vibe of these people. lastly he slowly introduced Bakugo to the group because Kaminari and Sero didn't really want to be friends with her because she was mean. Mina was already his friend even though they weren't in middle school she just became his friend really quickly.

Kirishima calls Bakugo Ladybro

Kirishima if somebody says anything about him being the only boy in the Bakusquad he'll say it's them who's protecting him and that girls can be aggressive.

Kirishima wanted to be friends with Bakugo cause he used to have a bully in middle school and something happen to that guy and he feels like even though he was bullying him if he had one friend maybe he wouldn't have done what he did. He knows Bakugo and Deku have history and he feels like if he makes friends with her she wont be so mean anymore. He forgives Bakugo for the bully she used to be cause he knows she is kind in her own way.

Kirishima's middle school friends or at least one of them was his "Happy buddy" which means that was the one who knew he had depression and would help him with it. They don't go to this school so Kaminari is his new happy buddy.

Kirishima is kinda poor and feels bad his dad has to pay for him and Tetsutetsu to go to UA

Kirishima isn't really close friends with anyone outside of the Bakusquad.

Kirishima is the one who has a crush on Sero first.

//

Kaminari

Kaminari dad was a deadbeat from America who his mom met when she was living there. Kaminari went to kindergarten and elementry school there before his mom decided to move to japan.

Kaminari has a little sister her quirk is called "Volt stream" She can emit electricity from her brain in low voltages, electricity is constently surging through her body and her vines like blood so she has to let it out sometimes or she'll feel what she calls "Prickly" Everytime she uses her quirk depending on the voltage she will either feel light headed or pass out. Her name is Rai

Kaminari's mom is a pro hero name Electric pop

Kaminari's mom's quirk has the same quirk as Kaminari but she can only shoot the lightning from her finger tips, she can't discharge in any other way.

Kami's dad just had a basic lightning quirk he was a hero in amaerica but like only for the money she left him but Kaminari did get to be around him for a while. He wasn't a good dad but he wasn't an awful dad.

Kamianri's parents taught her basic fighting just in case.

Kaminari can speak English but not write it very well.

Kaminari lives close to wherever Todoroki's house is and can get there pretty quickly.

Kaminari can skateboard that is her means of transportation.

Kaminari cooks macaroni a lot.

Kaminari makes cursed food mixtures. She made a peanut butter girlled cheese once.

Kaminari eats pickles from the jar, drinks the juice and all. once that's all she ate in a day woke up in the dorms one evening ate a pickle and went back to sleep.

Kaminari comes into Tokoyami's room for nails to be painted stays for the company.

Kaminari is friends with Tokoyami and Dark shadow.

Kaminari is also friends with Aoyama they are a blonde duo.

Kaminari lives next to Kinoko and they are friends and neighbors.

Kaminari is also friends with Rin kinda.

Kaminari had a crush on Mineta for some odd reason and never said anything about it cause she thought it was awkward and weird.

//

This kid from the where Bakugo and Todoroki retook their liesense exam

is Sero's little brother his name is Sho he can peel his skin like tape (It's not as painful as it sounds) he's annoying.

Sho goes to pre-school with Eri he has a best friend name Chocto who is Hound Dog's son (we call Hound dog mad dog in this au)

Skeptic is Sero's local evil uncle on her fathers side who nobody rats out because the whole family is scared of him.

Skeptic traumatized Sero as a kid being just generally scary with his quirk.

Sero lives with her older cousin Shin and Sho because there was an argument about Skeptic and Shin took it upon himself to get the kids away from that house.

Sero and Shin have a really close relationship, he makes her feel safe and he's always looking out for Sero. He's like that really chill older bro everyone wished they had.

Sero is very smug and that's how she relates most of all her emotions.

Sero doesn't like to feel strong emotions (sadness or anger) she would really rather not talk it out or have complex conversations when there is a problem. Just one person take the blame and don't do it again so we don't have to talk about this or bring it up anymore. In other words she hides from her feelings.

Sero dated a lot in middle school but never felt anything for anyone until she started liking Kirishima.

Sero feels inferior to Bakugo that Bakugo could have just the right things to say to help Kirishima and she wouldn't know what to say. (Example: Kirishima was having a breakdown and Sero didn't know how to talk to him so she called Bakugo who calmed him down. She felt really bad and useless that she was closer and right there but there was nothing she could do)

After the sports festival Sero developed Bell’s Palsy from Todoroki freezing her.

//

Mina

Mina doesn't mind a lot of things she's really chill.

Mina is the gateway to the whole class to the Bakusquad because she is close friends with so many other people outside the squad.

Mina isn't too sure what love is about and says that a lot. she'll randomly put it in after a normal sentence. "Lets go to mcdonalds, also im not too sure what true love is actually"

Mina comes from a neglected household. That's why she loves so much she doesn't want anybody to feel left out.

Mina is moth coded so at a certain point when they've lived in the dorms one day she just got super sleepy and fell asleep went into a cocoon for a week and came out looking fresh.

Her horns fell off after that and grew back, she could grow another set of arms and wings which was freaky but cool.

Mina is good at listening when somebody needs to vent. "Come get in my bed and we can talk comfy"

Mina is a gossip channel, her and Toru they know everything.

Mina's purse is a bottomless pit. She has everything.

Mina always wants to put makeup on somebody.

Mina is friends with Toru and Toru is friends with Dark Shadow but not so much Tokoyami.

Mina can relate to Mineta about being a neglected.

//

Jirou

Mina is the one who even got her included in the squad. She would always look over at them so Mina slowly introduced her until she was part of the squad.

Jirou is whatever she needs to be to get out of a satiation or win a battle. In our sports festival there were two brackets of the tournament and she made it to 3rd losing to Jurota Shishida. She fought Rin before this and tried to kiss him throwing him off guard, she kissed him and used her quirk through her lips to send her heartbeat into his head resulting in her win.

If Jirou uses her quirk to much she'll pass out because it's putting a strain on her heart.

That is how she lost to Jurota she amped up her quirk to it's fullest and they both passed out but she passed out first.

Jirou is the youngest of two brothers. Jude and Hibiki. Hibiki is a pro hero musician and Jude is in a boy band.

Jirou's house is a music store where they sell instruments and teach lessons. She offered working there as an option for Tokoyami who works there now.

Jirou is friends with Tokoyami they are goth buddies but not so much dark shadow cause she thinks dark shadow is annoying.

Jirou has a crush on Rin.

Jirou's hair is naturally curly like her dad's she straightens it. Later she lets Mina braid it.

When they live in the dorms She gets her hair cut's from Tokoyami.

Everyone who paints their nails gets their nails painted by Tokoyami including Jirou.

When Jirou says something is "Punk rock" she means it's cool. she'll say something like "that wasn't very punk rock of you" or "Wow! that's punk rock!"

Jirou is friends with Mineta (Mineta is more respectful in this au he actually is grossed out/scared of girls because of something that happened to him in his old household he got adopted by Midnight)

[weebsinstash]

Is the fact that some of your posts have a LOT of reblogs but then nothing in the notes have to do with that tiktok raid whatever it was. That isn't still going on is it? What freaks

Oh yeah, but at this point I'm convinced it's a pretty small group of people who are just doing this obsessively, and also as an addition some of them are doing this exact same thing to people who so much as like my posts so yeah this was never about any sort of actual mission or purpose, it's just people with hurt feelings lashing out. Like hell that werewolf audio post was reblogged over 600 times by like what, only 3 or 4 people? Like what does that actually do except boost my blog for the algorithm. Like what did they accomplish wasting their time doing all that. It's funny because every single time they're allowed to reblog posts that many times I'm sure they think they're getting under my skin when in actuality I'm usually busy doing something else. It takes me like a second to block someone and not have to think about it again

I can tell by the uh lack of originality and extreme similarities that a lot of these are just coming from the same people and let's be real most people don't obsess over trying to deliberately fan the flames of fake internet drama or come up with fake stories to try and spur the mob. It's just kind of surreal because I go to work, come home, take a rest, and wake up to a small collection of things that accumulated while i was asleep. And it'll be a TON of messages. And you block like just one or two of them and almost all of them disappear

If anything it's becoming increasingly entertaining to me because I've obviously pissed someone off and hurt their feelings. Lmao some weirdo posted my selfie to a rate me reddit forum and some people have just outright told me they hope I get raped and or kill myself :) like don't get me wrong, the thing that upset me about this situation, initially, was that they were trying to fuck with my sister and i was worried for her during that period. And since she's now out of my life and no longer my concern it's really just mildly annoying at most.

If you want me to be blunt I'm starting to wonder if even a single one of these people are over 18 because I really can't emphasize enough how straight up deranged it is to, start an internet argument because someone said a thing you don't like, and when you got triggered by their reply, go to tiktok like "hey everyone go get her" like it screams such "im a victim everyone take my side" mentality

I never actually harmed anyone and they're busy pissing and screaming and crying like I shot their dog in the head right in front of them, like, it screams "I don't have any real problems". Very first world American vibes.