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FAN SHUAIQI 范帅琦 for Guardians of the Dafeng | hanfu photoshoot

Fan Shuaiqi: more photos here hanfu photoshoot: more photos here

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that being said I'm not actually always opposed to conflict free fluff I am just opposed to the characters having their claws filed down for it. you can stick them in a coffee shop au it should just still feel like you sat the two worst most insane people on earth in a starbucks

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Traveling alongside each other feels like stolen time, so much so that Di Feisheng always regrets the return to ground, the look on Li Xiangyi’s face when he leans heavily on Di Feisheng’s steadying arm. 

li lianhua x di feisheng, unrated.

fic for the Beneath the Waning Moon Zine

read it here

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Propaganda to convince you to join the femslash big bang

sign ups are closing in a couple days (Feb 28th), so here's some reasons why you should come join the challenge:

We're a totally multi-fandom event! No more feeling left out bc you realised nobody is doing big bangs for your niche fandom. Write about that blorbo!!

Like Femslash February but want more excuses to write femslash? well, here it is. The vibes do not have to stop.

Original works also allowed!! Please tell me about your OCs.

No writer/author pairings required - we're doing things a little differently here, so artists and writers can sign up and create their own works. no worrying about finding a match - YOU can create what you want.

We have a discord now! Everyone is super chill and wonderful, and you can connect with fellow fans or even spread your own propaganda about your niche ship/fandom and drag someone else into it with you.

We also have monthly challenges for people who want a prompt and/or short-term commitments.

[click here for full info and sign up link!]

again, thanks to everyone who's signed up so far! I really look forward to seeing what everyone is creating!!

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DIY Chinese penis euphemisms ft. Jingsu

Let’s make some penises in Chinese.

Because there are relatively few characters in Chinese (around 20k in a modern dictionary) compared to the number of words in other languages (100k+ in English), most characters carry many meanings. This leads to ambiguities if writing were to be fully composed from single-character words, which is why most words in modern Chinese are compounded from two or more characters, and the meaning is synthesized from the individual meanings. Here are some penis-relevant suffixes, in no particular order:

-物 thing

-器 organ/instrument

-根 root

-茎 stalk

-棒 stick

-柱 pillar

-具 implement

-刃 blade (ouch)

You’ll notice that these are all, well, things. This is one typical pattern for making a Chinese compound word: the second character describes the physicality in some way while the first describes an attribute (characters are flexible and can be either prefix or suffix depending on context). Here are some penis-relevant prefixes:

巨- huge (the opposite would be 微 for tiny, but it’s hard to find micropenises in erotica)

硬- hard

阴- yin

阳- yang

性- sex

那- that

玉- jade

肉- meat

凶- violent

男- male

Now we can create our own penis euphemism by mashing any two together. Here are some real quotes from explicit Jingsu fanfic (translations are kept literal here, but I almost always translate every euphemism to cock because it’s the English term I hate the least):

阳具 = yang implement

萧景琰的阳具大得惊人，比一般的乾阳还要大上几分，他曾笑说这是皇家威严，被梅长苏白了一眼 [x]

Xiao Jingyan’s yang implement was frighteningly large, even significantly larger than the average Alpha’s. He once joked that this was the might of the imperial bloodline, getting an eye roll from Mei Changsu.

凶刃 = violent blade

只是等到下一个清醒的瞬间，萧景琰已经将他的双腿分开。将那粗硬滚烫的凶刃抵上濡湿的穴口。《踏雪寻梅》

But the next instant he came to, Xiao Jingyan had already parted his legs. Pressed that thick, hard, and searing violent blade against his wet opening.

性器 = sex organ

萧景琰的囊口已经完全开了，里头两根性器探了出来，打在林殊大腿外侧 《四时歌》

Xiao Jingyan’s sac had fully opened, two sex organs emerging from inside and hitting against the outside of Lin Shu’s thigh.

肉棒 = meat stick

他一定不知道自己被黑布蒙住双眼，仰着头费力吞吐男人肉棒的模样有多……诱惑 [x]

He must not know how…seductive he looks, black cloth covering both eyes, tilting his head to strenuously swallow a man’s meat stick.

那物 = that thing

萧景琰也不再磨蹭，随手抓过床边的消毒啫喱，在自己的那物上涂了几下便抵在了长苏紧闭的穴口 [x]

Xiao Jingyan didn’t waste any more time either, grabbing the disinfectant gel conveniently by the bedside, applying it a few times on that thing of his then pressing it against Changsu’s tight opening.

The anatomical term for the penis is 阴茎 = yin stalk, the word that is the closest equivalent of penis. But why is the penis both a yin stalk and yang implement? Glad you asked. Yang is associated with the male and yin with the female, but the very concept of yin-yang is that there’s yin in yang and yang in yin (think of the symbol itself). The penis is a yin part because the privates are the most yin on the body. So you can think of it as either the thing of a yang being, or the yin thing on a yang being—the wonderful duality of the male member.

As you might expect, not all of the possible combinations are actually in use. Like, 阴棒 = yin stick isn’t a thing. Why not? I don’t know, it just isn’t. If you used it in context, readers would understand you mean penis and probably puzzle a bit over why you didn’t use the more common names.

Some of the combinations also mean other things. 凶器 = violent instrument actually means murder weapon in ordinary use. Can it be a penis euphemism during rough sex? Yes, but most of the time it means the real weapon. 那根 = that root is tricky because 根 is a classifier word (a similar concept to measure words in English) for long stick-like objects in addition to its meaning of root, so 那根 is almost always used in conjunction with other words, like that phallic [thing], as opposed to a penis on its own, which would probably be confusing to read. But when the character preceding 根 is something else, like 男- male, then it’s not being used in the classifier context, and 男根 = male root is indeed a penis.

Now that we’ve gotten the explanations out of the way, I searched through the corpus of Chinese Jingsu fics on my computer (around 1000+ fics) to look for all possible combinations of the prefixes and suffixes listed above, tossing out the compound words that don’t mean penis in context, to see what the most popular penises are. Behold the Jingsu compound penis matrix:

Congratulations to our winner, sex organ, and the distant runner-up, that thing. In contrast, the anatomical yin stalk is not very popular, kind of like how penis is not used as frequently as other terms in English erotica.

Okay, so now you have the power to create all kinds of penises. But what’s the correct penis to use in a particular situation? Jingsu smut is, of course, mostly ancient erotica (unless it’s a modern AU), so the tendency is to go for the more literary and euphemistic, and the way to do that is to be less physically descriptive. That thing is definitely more suited for delicate company than meat stick (though some authors happily use meat stick in their ancient settings anyways), and jade/yin/yang penises are also more literary. 玉茎 = jade stalk is, in fact, the traditional Chinese medicine term for the penis and also a literary term, in use for well over a thousand years.

萧景琰取了红帛将梅长苏的玉茎捆扎起来，被白肤衬起来耀眼得很。《梅烬》

Xiao Jingyan tied up Mei Changsu’s jade stalk with red silk, looking quite eye-catching against white skin.

Some more penises

It would be way oversimplifying things to say we’re done now when there are many more methods to form words and penises in Chinese besides our simple algorithm. Let’s first discuss some concepts with English analogs:

A lot of ancient cultures associated chickens with the male member, and we have cock in English. In Chinese, children call penises 小鸡鸡 = little chicken, kind of the equivalent of weewee. You would definitely not use it in a sexy story.

In English you could say he pushed himself inside, and you could say that in Chinese too, with 自己 = self. A relatively euphemistic term.

There’s also little [person’s name], so 小长苏 = xiao-Changsu and 小景琰 = xiao-Jingyan exist. And yes, so does 小小殊 = xiao-xiao-Shu, Lin Shu’s penis. This might be my least favorite one. These are not generally euphemisms you’d see in more…well-regarded erotica.

Okay, now onto the more uniquely Chinese penises. We have some more euphemistic ones:

那话儿 = those words, actually meaning that which we can’t speak of, and penis. 话儿 on its own just means words and remarks in general, but once you add that in the beginning, it becomes a whole other thing (though it can still mean those words in non-erotic contexts). This is one of the euphemisms found in the infamous erotic Ming Dynasty novel 金瓶梅 (Jīn Píng Méi), The Plum in the Golden Vase, so it has a storied history, though it isn’t used much in Jingsu smut at all. 不文之物 = uncivilized thing is also along these lines (之 here is a literary possessive particle). You can also put all kinds of adjectives before 之物 for a more customized penis.

Speaking of adjectives, one thing about Chinese very different from English is that parts of speech are fluid, especially in Classical Chinese where many characters are basically any part of speech. 火热 is fire + hot, but it can be both an adjective, fiery hot, that you stick in front of a penis, or a noun, fiery heat, that acts as a penis itself. So 火热之物, fiery hot thing, is a penis, and here’s an example where just fiery heat is the penis:

他稍顿了顿，便继续往里推进，里面温暖紧致，肠道吸附在他的火热上，就好像他们天生就是一套的，此刻终于镶嵌完整了 《夜宿山寺》

He paused slightly, then continued pushing inward. The passage is warm and tight inside, clinging onto his fiery heat as if they were two pieces made for each other, finally tessellating together and becoming whole in this moment. 

We also have words with standard definitions that mean something else in erotica:

尘根 = dust root, which is actually a term in Buddhism that means one of the human senses rooting you to the mortal realm, often referred to as the realm of ephemeral dust (尘世). This is a creative allusion, because what else is a penis but a root that traps you in carnal desire and prevents you from reaching nirvana? Of course, whether it’s appropriate for use depends on whether you want to bring up mortality and the illusion of desire when your characters are getting it on. 孽根 = sinful root, or the more fun translation, root of evil, is also along these lines.

只是这么一想，萧景琰压根还没被触碰到的尘根就一颤一颤的立了起来，硬邦邦地将单薄的亵裤撑起一片帐篷 [x]

At this mere thought, Xiao Jingyan’s utterly untouched dust root trembled upwards, forming a stiff tent in his thin underclothes.

命根 = life root, meaning the source of vitality or reason for living, which is obviously the penis. This one does refer to penis in ordinary use as well, often humorously.

他的命根子给萧景琰含着，用力吮裹，几乎要把他的魂从身体里吸出来一样。[x]

His life root was held in Xiao Jingyan’s mouth and forcefully sucked, as if threatening to extract his soul from his body.

欲望 = desire. Very popular in erotica, not in the dictionary as a penis, and may confuse a first-time fic reader why an abstract concept is being shoved places.

萧景琰握住梅长苏纤长的双腿，让他缠在自己腰上，把快要忍爆了的欲望抵在那小小的入口，慢慢地推了进去 [x]

Xiao Jingyan gripped Mei Changsu’s slender legs, letting him wrap around his own waist, and pressed his desire, nearly exploding with need, against that tiny opening, slowly pushing in.

分身 = split body, or where the body parts (and what you do with it to another body). Its usual meaning is to find time to do something else, and this meaning is only for erotica.

At this point, I should say that some of these may have been invented for erotica to get around censorship. The coined words often evolve to become part of the vocabulary of the in-group over time, such that even when there’s no need to censor, people instinctively use the vocabulary to signal, whether subconsciously or consciously, that they’re in the know.

Of course, just because a euphemism is popular, or of proper ancient lineage, doesn’t mean it will be subjectively to your taste. Jade stalk burns my eyes despite being a classic literary term, which probably says more about my Chinese than anything else; someone who’s really internalized this term and isn’t still on the literal level of understanding probably doesn’t mind it at all. Honestly, my original intention was to giggle a bit at all the euphemisms, but now that I’ve stared at them for a while, they all seem…okay to me (except xiao-xiao-Shu, that one can die). Not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

A bonus last one very relevant to Jingsu, 龙根 = dragon root, just for His Majesty’s penis.

萧景琰的龙根还埋在自己体内，下体湿滑粘腻，一片狼藉，胸前的两点又被肆意玩弄，梅长苏真想就这么昏过去算了。[x]

Xiao Jingyan’s dragon root was still buried inside him, his lower body slick and wet, a completely sorry mess, and the two nubs on his chest were being wantonly toyed with again—Mei Changsu really wished he could just pass out on the spot and be done with it.

Here’s a penis alignment chart that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a summary of our findings:

What if I don’t want to make penises?

As you’ve seen so far, Chinese is very good for euphemisms, and you can write the dirtiest smut without mentioning any parts once.

My favorite Jingsu sex euphemism is easily 梅开二度, literally plum blossoms bloom for the second time, which is an idiom meaning reaching the pinnacle again. It’s frequently used to describe a footballer scoring the second goal in a single match, someone finding new love after a failed relationship, or yes, orgasming for the second time in one night. But in the Jingsu context, it can also be literally read as…Mei Changsu “opens” for the second time.

I would write another post on euphemisms for other body parts and sex in general (including the inexplicably many sex puns in NiF canon names), but this euphemism is clearly the pinnacle, and I will not reach it again.

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Guardians of the Dafeng 大奉打更人 (2024) – Ep. 4 Love Between Fairy and Devil 苍兰诀 (2022) – Ep. 9

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to say nothing of the dog\i feel the weather change bc i have no idea what it is!!! my backup is tu cuerpo es un recuerdo.

for the wip game.

you do know what this is, because you've seen a later scene, but i don't think i gave you a title because i feel pretentious giving things titles. so obviously all of my drafts have incredibly pretentious titles.

this is yet another fic that seems nearly obligatory for writers in this fandom, the post-canon li lianhua lives fic.

'I think,' says the man, contemplatively, 'that I'm lost.' Fang Duobing nods. 'You could come with us,' he says, trying to swallow the too-eager taste of his words. 'It'll be dark soon.' The man looks out to sea again. 'I was—' he says, and Fang Duobing wants to run to him and shake him, to run to him and wrap his arms around him, to scream, to weep, to drag him back home and make sure he can't ever leave again. He does none of these things, and waits. 'This is my sea,' says the man, his voice suddenly gull-cry sharp. A shadow crosses his face, his eyes tightening. 'What are you doing here?' he demands furiously. 'You shouldn't be here.' None of us should be here, thinks Fang Duobing desperately. Even in the burning wind, he can feel the tears trickling down his cheeks as he swallows bile. Di Feisheng's fingertips dig into his arm, tight enough to bruise, and he wants to shake himself free of it but can't move, can only drink in the sight of the man who isn't Li Lianhua. Who is alive. He swallows again, his mouth sour and stale. After a moment, the man half turns and looks back out at the sea. 'There's a storm coming,' he says, mildly.

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a guide to people’s names, titles, and other forms of address in cang lan jue/love between fairy and devil

so for chinese media, i like knowing how to read and pronounce the characters’ names, but when trying to look up the names of the clj/lbfad people, i found the info i wanted rather hard to find. i wanted to know what characters made up their names! how to pronounce them! what their different titles and nicknames meant and what kind of people address them by those names! so i decided to try compiling this info myself, on a whim. it’s taken a HOT minute, and a Lot of scrubbing through the episodes, and it will probably need to be updated and edited as i go about rewatching the show (and improving my chinese :’) aha) but here’s what i got for now! feel free to message me if you have suggestions, edits, corrections, or requests :) hopefully some people find this helpful or interesting – i know some of the things i’ve included here are lost in translation in netflix’s english subtitles.

Keep reading

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contractually obliged to say PEEP

my peep. my sweet treat. it's you. this is the brothel stage play fic where they (dihua) go for dumb reasons and then get to view the donghai fight played out in front of them by two super fit men in glossy party city sex outfits.

nothing too sexy yet! here we goooooooo

“As victor, I determine the reward,” stage Di Feisheng says, tossing his sword to the side. 

“I would never do that,” Di Feisheng mutters. “No respect for a fine weapon.”

“You once chucked your scabbard at me,” Li Lianhua says.  In an undertone, he adds, feigning confusion, “Remind me, is the detail nickel or–”

“You know damn well it's sterling silver,” Di Feisheng hisses. 

Onstage, his counterpart is seated on a gilded throne, bracketed by two topless women waving palm fronds. He lolls back against the blood-red velvet, legs spread and boots planted.

“I, Di Feisheng of the jinyuan alliance, demon lord and master of all swords in the jianghu, demand your obedience. You are commanded….” here he pauses, eating up the anticipation crackling through the audience. “To serve me.”

Li Xiangyi spits blood to the side of the stage, causing the men in the cheap seats to howl with disgust at the spray. He rolls his head, cracking his neck. His makeup has held up quite nicely during their tussling, his eyes bright and elongated with red paint. 

“You think you've won? Impossible.” His voice is haughty, the puppet show hero intonation grating on the ears. He is obviously out of his depth.

Li Lianhua feels for a nasty moment like he would like nothing more than to see this child backhanded. Next to him, Di Feisheng has one hand clenching the wood of the seat and the other on his own knee.

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ok, i don't *think* you've posted about this one yet, but hit me with snow madness, maybe?

if that's taken…hm. if that's taken i want you instead to tell me about a random snippet in your file that you particularly like, but isn't part of anything or even an idea.

also, everyone uses placeholder titles! you're doing normal!

anyhow. snow madness, please 💕

I actually have words on this one, though I don't know if it'll ever go anywhere! Here's an excerpt:

The white glare and the pain and the words combine to strike a cold, sharp blow through the fisherman's heart. Abruptly, he's thrown into the memory of drowsing at a table somewhere warm. He can’t remember where, whether it’s Lotus Tower or an inn or some villa; the setting shifts in his memory, but he is very, very clear—in fact, his mind feels clearer than it has in weeks—that snow was falling heavily outside, and that Xiaobao was relating a peculiar case he had read about, that Baichuan Court had initially investigated as a murder. There was a man, a senior disciple of some sect, who had been caught along with several juniors in the high mountains by a blizzard. Lost, and not knowing whether the storm had been sent by Heaven’s whims or some rival, he found a place for his sect siblings to hide. After a couple of days had passed, he had left the shelter where his brothers and sisters huddled in order to search for aid. What else, he thought, could he do? Even though it was a fool’s mission. Frozen on his stool, the fisherman starts to laugh, silently. Some part of him has realized why he’s begun to tell himself Xiaobao’s story.

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pine, bamboo, plum?? glad to see someone else with exclusively working titles.

ha! I was relieved to see your post and a couple others too tbh 😅

This idea is at the vaguest possible stage. It's just that I love the "Three Friends of Winter" from Chinese painting and poetry, so I was thinking about something in three parts.

Pine = the strength to resist the elements, fortitude, longevity

Bamboo = uprightness, receptivity, the flexibility to endure

Plum = perseverance, rejuvenation, beauty amidst hardship

I'm just waiting to hit on the idea/poem/??? that will make it turn into something. Like I feel sure that there's something there, but I haven't managed to drag it into the observable part of my brain.

I guess I can always make it into a sex thing

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@bettercostume said: Flute? Please please

"flute?" is because I was deeply vexed by the brief appearance, short life, and lack of follow-up of the jade flute in MLC (I don't know if it's in the novel). It's probably three vignettes: 1. a missing scene where Fang Duobing actually, you know, plays the damn flute 2. a scene where he reaches for the flute and it's not there 3. he receives or acquires another flute (currently it's Schrödinger's Flute because I haven't decided on the tone of the ending, which will determine which way)

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MLC/Legend of Fei? 👀👀👀👀

I have a vision, and it's a very blurry vision, of a mostly-for-fun one-shot in which Li Lianhua is found and taken to Legend of Fei's version of Penglai. (For reasons that are obvious if you've completed Legend of Fei.)

But also, picture Zhou Fei, Fang Duobing, and Di Feisheng getting utterly smashed and (lovingly?) complaining about their reckless boyfriends.

I also once upon a time started this table for laughs (mild spoilers for both shows) and it got way out of control (this is not the whole thing).

Sooo possibly the opportunity for Li Lianhua and/or Fang Duobing plus Xie Yun to get together and (lovingly?) bitch about their Feifeis shouldn't be passed up either.

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there’s wip (active development) and wip (stuck in development hell) and wip (oh you’re not even getting funding for this one)

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wip tag game/ask meme

I was tagged by @a-memory-a-distant-echo and I apologize in advance for the disappointing customer service experience I am about to provide lol

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

Ah 😅 well you see what I do for fanfic is have a single project with multiple things in it, from random scenes to notes to stories, and don't really properly title anything in there, and I have all my (hypothetically) active projects open at one time, and I never close them. Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it's my brainmeats; they're not good. Normally I use working titles until the last minute, sooo I'm looking at everyone else's posts so far with great admiration. (Like, "A Sly Fox Counts to Two" was named "number trick" until right before I uploaded it. I had a title early with Yuletide this year, but that was an exception.)

Anyway, please have a laugh! Warning, though: some of these are barely a wisp of an idea and will probably never happen.

all Mysterious Lotus Casebook:

MLC/Legend of Fei

pine, bamboo, plum

legends/romance novels

flute?

snow madness

Yuletide 2024 sequel

(see, I told you!)

Now I should tag six people but I'm going to wimp out yet again because my memory is so poor. If you want to undergo this experience, then I tag you!

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i've been saying that i think xiao shunyao could pull off playing hei xiazi and do it well + accurately, and this is for a few reasons but my number one justification for this argument has just become this: