#Feelings are valid but just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you’re right and we’ve forgotten.

[rahabs]

Honestly though some of the things people consider “racism” these days like… Some of you need to go outside and touch some grass. Not every offensive comment is racism, and not every comment that offends you is racism. I’m not saying feelings aren’t valid in their own way but it’s important to remember that just because you feel a certain way or you’re upset or offended doesn’t actually mean you’re right about something or that whatever upset you is therefore inherently offensive/racist/etc.

[astro-royale]

Observations : Part 1✨

⚠️These are my personal observations & opinions:

- Saturn in your 7th house can usually mean that all your intimate relationships are of a karmic nature & to do with past lives. Soulmate after soulmate… there’s always a sense of fate.

- I believe Pluto is a feminine planet in a masculine energy.. much of what happens to a wounded female when she is in survival mode. Yes , Pluto is represented my a male God, but intuitively I believe there is something deeply feminine about Pluto. Astronomers have discovered that Pluto has a HEART. Cold seeming on the outside but very deeply passionate on the inside.

Gen Z has Pluto in the libertine sign of Sagittarius, it makes such sense that this generation is so obsessed with freedom and so obsessed with rebelling against the norm to gain said freedom. Also using knowledge as a weapon to gain freedom…

Scorpio Risings have deep rooted trust issues. They most likely don’t trust you even if they said they do. If a scorpio rising insults you and loves you in the same breath, it means they’re comfortable with you and they like you to a certain degree, consider yourself lucky.

Capricorn Sun/Risings are so tight pocketed…

Shadow side of Virgo; Virgos are probably one of the most judgemental signs. They criticise as a way to make themselves feel better and superior, and also as a way to keep distance and detach themselves. (They’re still probably right though😅)

Aquarius Venus men can display high signs of disinterest in people but rather display more interest in things.. especially knowledge. They give off a very asexual vibe, kind of like Isaac Newton vibe.

Cancer sun people are easily taken advantage of in ways they don’t realise because their ego relies so much on the validation of other people.

If a man with Venus in Scorpio is not interested in you, you will know, because he is not obsessed with you.

Virgos are one of the signs that care most about people yet that gets overlooked because they don’t like taking credit, and their pride can give off the wrong impression as if they don’t care due to their sharp tongue; yet they do care because they take care of the little details or they show love in more action oriented ways.

If a Virgo starts talking about how much they do it’s because they’re tired of lack of appreciation and reciprocation.

Taurus in 6th house will make you obsessed with improving your looks, especially your body. It will also make you want to improve your eating habits.

Geminis will really just say anything on their mind, sometimes knowing it will hurt you, just because they like to see the look on your face. It brings them amusement to have the upper hand because it plays on their ego to be “intellectually superior”.

There can be very strong alternation of like and dislike between Scorpio Rising and Scorpio Sun individuals.. always some kind of tension.

I’ve noticed Pisces Sun men tend to easily give into addictions and escapism, and often use spirituality as an excuse to stay in their head. They have a lot of willpower; yet they get distracted by the need to avoid their trauma and suppress their emotions through their addictions . They have a lot of potential.

Cancer men tend to be very sensitive and have fragile egos, quite reactive too if you brush them the wrong way.

Libras can be very fake but also extremely caring and nurturing.

Virgo men… can be quite messy and poor with hygiene.

If a Gemini cares about you, you’re in their pile of “special” people because 9 times out of 10 they don’t give a fffffff.

Scorpio in sun or rising will often have bird like or vampiric features.

There is something very tender about a Scorpio man, even when he is honest with his darkness, you can still sense a sweetness and sensitivity in them. They’re the kind of guys you want to help and think you can change, until they prove you wrong because they self sabotage so that you don’t like them…

Leo in Venus will spoil you!! Male or female, doesn’t matter how long you have known them. If they like you they will pay for lunch, take pictures of you and show you off on social media, etc.

If you want to support this blog as well as my research there’s a Tip option in the bio. Or you can cashapp me £astroroyale .This way I can keep posting high quality content for you as it encourages me in the process <3 :) Thank you & Much love

Anyways, stay safe 😊☀️✨

Gif is from the anime the wallflower

[asexual]

How can I tell if I’m aceflux or just have a sex drive? Sometimes I’m really allo and have sexual attraction to strangers. Sometimes I’m really ace and don’t even have sexual attraction to my partners. Sometimes I’m something in between. Is it ok to call myself aceflux? Or is that wrong? And I know you said no discourse but is it discourse if I ask if aceflux counts as queer? I’m queer anyway cuz I’m pan and nonbinary. But don’t know if aceflux is queer too or if only “full” asexuals count.

So before I answer your actual question I wanna acknowledge your no discourse comment — ALL asexual or aromantic spectrum identities are 100% queer by default. When I say no discourse, what I mean is I don’t want anyone coming in to my inbox with Aphobia or trying to argue with me over whether or not a certain orientation is queer enough or not. Like, I’m here to validate aspec people’s queerness, but I’m not here to argue about it with exclusionists. So to answer that…yes, aceflux is queer and if you do feel you might be aceflux, that’s just as queer as you being pan and nb is!

To answer your actual question, I’ll get right to the point of saying there’s nothing wrong whatsoever with identifying as aceflux if you even SOMEWHAT possibly relate to the label. Even if you end up being “wrong” and it’s “just your sex drive” — you haven’t, like, harmed or appropriated actual ace-specs, you know?

but I would say you sound like you could hypothetically be aceflux. While “sometimes fully allo” and “sometimes fully ace” absolutely counts as aceflux, a lot of aceflux ppl will flux ALL around the spectrum — having allo days, ace days, demi days, lith days, gray days, cupio days, aego days, so many things I am forgetting! Is that also a thing for you? I would definitely do some internal searching to see if “fully ace” and “fully allo” are the only things you experience. If there’s more, you can almost definitely claim aceflux. Even if there’s not more, and you truly just switch between ace and allo, you still can call yourself aceflux of course, I just wanted to give more context!!

Differentiating between libido and attraction can be really difficult. Generally I’d say a libido is about IF you’re experiencing desire at all, and sexual attraction is about WHO you’re attracted to. So for example, someone who’s completely allo will, generally speaking, ALWAYS experience sexual attraction in SOME way. Even if they don’t actively want sex at the moment. I’m not saying allos are horny 24/7 or anything, and Im not implying aces are never horny. But a general rule of thumb is that an allo person is always capable of feeling sexual *attraction* even if they don’t actively want it all the time. so based on what you told me you could likely fit the aceflux label if that’s what feels right to you. even if you’re still unsure — why not just try it out? :) Publicly or privately identify as aceflux for awhile, maybe get some pride merch or at least something in the aceflux flag colors. See if it feels right to you. And if it doesn’t feel right, is it because the label is wrong, or is it because you possibly have internalized aphobia? Which if you do — no shame, as we all deal with that in some way, sadly. But I would recommend trying on the label and seeing how you feel after publicly or even just privately identifying as such.

[devourable]

I just read your church boy fic and I am OBSESSED. 🥺. I would love to see more if you've got the time. Could we see how far would Abraham go as in bending the rules of "courting"? What boundaries of his religion would he push, especially if his darling was non-religious?

How would he deal with the guilt of "straying away"?

Even more so, how would he react to his darling's affection? Knowing he should resist but being so weak to their touch and love. If he were to open up to them about his thoughts of them being an angel but also somehow temptation and they would respond " maybe I am, who says angels aren't sent to test you". They mean it in a joking way but it just makes him spiral.

Thank you that's all I have

oooh this is such a good ask!! i’m gonna have fun answering this 👀 there will be more of abe in the future! just gotta get through my other ocs first 🫶

abraham is an interesting guy when it comes with coping w his feelings abt his darling. i could not say for certain what abraham would consider pushing the boundaries of his faith since he’s an expert at excusing himself one way or another ; part of him genuinely believes that nothing he does or feels regarding them is bad because clearly they have to be otherworldly to make him feel the way he does ; and just being with them must be inherently purifying! nothing truly bad could make him so happy, so fulfilled. far more than his religion ever has. he won’t mind if you’re not religious yourself (it’s a bonus to him either way tbh).

the part of him that knows that’s not entirely true tries to validate and compartmentalize his feelings in various different ways. he’s been such a virtuous man his whole life so it’s okay to indulge a little now, right? sinful thoughts and sinful actions are entirely different ; as long as he doesn’t act on any of them, he’s still good! his faith is so strong, he’s sure if he asks for forgiveness, he will receive it. things like that. he’d pray every night and beg to be forgiven, because he truly cannot help himself when he’s around his darling.

as for his reaction to affection, honestly? it depends on what it is. but in general, if darling is doing something to him, then he’s technically not doing anything wrong so long as he doesn’t actively reciprocate. but he will inevitably reciprocate, and when he does, it won’t be his fault because he didn’t initiate. that’s how it works, isn’t it? he has to mentally victimize himself a bit in order to accept any sort of affection but it is so worth it to him.

and genuinely, if darling ever told abe that they were in fact an angel, he would genuinely believe them. tbh it’d make him feel a bit better because if you’re truly an ethereal being then it really does mean that nothing you do together is wrong. an angel wouldn’t purposefully lead him astray; maybe you’re a reward for being so devout all his life? he wouldn’t be sure. but any excuse to make his adoration for you as virtuous as he feels it to be, he would accept.

[treehuggerthegreat]

something i really need to get off my chest even if i just post this privately is That i really dislike ‘caretakers’ in whump writing. or ‘whumper’ i feel like it makes a character (even if they’re just a hypothetical one) feel very 1 dimensional and it makes me so OKAY JUST HEAR ME OUT!!! whumpee i don’t mind much, it makes the prompt or what your talking about a little clearer. But it feels like it’s putting it into a box and making sort of roles which makes it feel less like a prompt and more like we’re in an omega verse fandom and i mean this really lovingly and affectionately and no hate to any of yall. I have a vast amount of characters and i write stories and books and I can say with out a shadow of a doubt, not ONE of them fall under ‘whumper’ or ‘caretaker’ because i develop them as their own individual character. Not even my antagonist are ‘whumpers’

So one of my main antagonists literally burns cigarettes on the MC and abuses the MC. Tries to kill her on her 18th birthday. Shes her mom, and the main character PHYSICALLY cannot leave that situation with out getting the authorities involved until she turns 18. Mom sounds like an ass, she beats ‘whumpee’ up! why would i NEVER call her a whumper? because she’s a whumpee by that logic. Her mom was extremely emotionally abusive, and half the time not fully there. Her shitty ass dad got murdered in front of her when she was just a kid. but Her mom isn’t a whumper either, because she too would be considered a whumpee. She was a world renowned flapper girl, everyone loved her. she LIVED for the fame and her face in newspapers. But behind the scenes she was actively ignoring her distant parents as they continued to try and marry her off. She was then forced into the marriage when she got pregnant with the guy (much so against her will which is why she killed him.) and ever since she’s been delusional and not fully there. It’s generational abuse.

more ramble under the cut + extra clarification on what I’m trying to say

okay but that’s just generational abuse right? There are other whumpers in the real world! Yeah i guess there’s sadists and serial killers, but like, there’s SOOOO much more guys.

I have a mini antagonist, he’s in highschool and he’s meant to be the toxic narcissistic ex of one of my characters. But he’s falling apart trying to get attention, he’s not fully aware of the damage he IS doing. Ass he may be but again behind the scenes he’s constantly fighting with his dad who refuses to do anything around the house and who is also transphobic (she’s bigender but i’ve been using he to make it less confusing right now) and now she has to take care of her little sister and act like a whole ass mom. As a sophomore. In high school. Not only that but her mom died, so she has to struggle with that. She’s just an annoying ass teenager, she doesn’t understand how to treat people or how she’s supposed to be handling what she’s dealing with. But getting attention and being liked at school? now that’s the shit. That’s like drugs for her. But to what lengths does she go to get that extra validation? He uses his boyfriend almost like an accessory. He’s not considerate of his feelings, and most likely doesn’t understand what a relationship is SUPPOSED to be.

Unless you’re making a sociopath character, which i LOVE a good sociopath character, you have to treat them like they also have humanity. Most of the time villains don’t just. Do shit to do it, they have some sort of background that lead up to this!!! And also even then with sociopaths they’re their own individual characters separate from the people they hurt!!! and also NONE of these are end all be alls and all characters must be developed this way!!!!

just my advice and stuff <3 i love all of you out there and i can understand why using certain roles and terms are the go to, and i’m not stopping you!!! i just really wanted to give my two cents so i can possibly help other writers!!!

[versethetic]

I feel so frustrated. I'm in this weird in-between I'm so upset and not upset at all. I can't fully indulge in either. I say fuck it I'll give into the 3D and I just can't. I know this isn't it. But I also can't seem to commit to the 4D either. I'm living in neither. I'm so overwhelmed and underwhelmed I don't know what's going on.

I feel like I'm a weird liminal space. I am unable to give up and 3D spiral cause I know better but I'm still feeling something off I don't know how to explain

i know what you mean. but this is where discipline can really set you up for better.

you’ve learned all you need to know abt loassum and imagination and now you’re in the spot where you have to commit to already having what you want, but a part of you still looks to the 3d for validation.

and there’s nothing wrong with this sort of limbo space, take this moment in stride, but realize that committing to imagination doesn’t mean you have to do a method 24/7 or watch your thoughts all day from sunrise to sunset. it just means make sure you’re aligned with the assumption no that what you want is yours. that’s it.

learn how you wanna go about persisting and then take a step back. not like take a break or detach, but simply check in on yourself every once in awhile.

do you believe you have what you want regardless of the 3d? you’re on the right path.

do you feel weird and stationary even though you know you’re doing things right? completely fine, you’re still on the right path.

you wanna give in to the 3d? this is when you take a break for the day. take loassum off your mind and do a little something for yourself. then remind yourself that imagination has it all.

can’t fully commit to the 4d? don’t stress over fully committing. just know it is full of what you want and it’s all real. then just daydream for fun, listen to music that makes you happy, etc.

if you feel a certain way about loassum that causes you to worry or stress or doubt, then back a way for a second and get yourself back on your feet. feelings don’t equate to anything with loassum but i do recommend you don’t suffocate yourself in the law that is currently making you feel a type of way.

if anything, go through posts you’ve previously read, refresh your mind, pick out things that you like or stick out and go by those tips or tricks. don’t force yourself to do anything and don’t just give up because you feel like don’t know what to do.

you do. you always have. now relax, and do what will make you happy.

[yuseirra]

Some rants/theories on onk~(ch 162~)

I've been jotting some thoughts as of lately!!

I want to share it with you all because well, I'm sure some of you will relate and feel with me and it's just nice to see someone share the same type of thoughts, wouldn't it!

It may be worth a read if you like hikaru or hikaai.. or what the heck's been going about him in the manga. I feel so bad in regards to him, what's happening to him is really unjust. I feel it's so mean and unfair and I'm sure the author knows, so I hope they expand on that :) They must love this character better than I and he must be like this for a reason. I believe in them.

#1

Ruby… your dad and brother were fighting and fell into the water… What should we do about this… hahaha… hahaha…

But I think that scene itself was planned from way back.

It’s seriously annoying… hahaha. From what I can see, it’s like two victims of the entertainment industry wanting to kill each other, which is so frustrating and unfair.

If Kamiki just dies like this, it’s going to make me so mad because what was the point of his life? He’s never been happy. From my perspective, he wasn’t originally that kind of person, and it seems like he completely lost his mind after the person he loved died. But it’s unclear if we’re even supposed to feel sorry for him, which makes it even more frustrating. Why did they drag his life into the abyss like this? For what purpose?

Ai, at least, found love. But what about him?

If his original character was noble, then my view of his true nature was correct, right? So… I hope his story doesn’t just end with him like this. At this rate, I won’t even be able to fully support Aqua, and he won’t look good to me either, but I liked Aqua…

I hope Ruby can somehow save everyone. I’m not sure how that would even be possible, though.

I feel like I know where this manga is heading. I think I do. There is a way for all of this to make sense, but since it’s not my work, I can’t be certain. That’s why it’s so frustrating.

This is a manga that needs to be read by volumes.

#2

In chapter 162, Aqua says something grand like how his goal wasn’t revenge.

It’s a beautiful story, but it also annoyed me a bit, like, of course, that can’t be true!!!

From the beginning, Ai wasn’t even killed by this guy!!! The whole target of his revenge was wrong from the start! The entire premise was never valid. For over 150 chapters, Aqua had been chasing the wrong target. At the very least, Kamiki never intended to harm Ai, and if you look at it from that angle, he’s also a victim who was broken after losing Ai. What are you talking about like you’re so righteous, Aqua? It’s really getting on my nerves. What matters is what he did next and how he lived after that. Just in case, I checked the English version, and it said that as he grew older (not Ai), he couldn’t stand how Ai’s existence was fading away, and he wanted to feel that again. After Ai died, he missed her so much that he found this bizarre way to hold onto her and clung to it.

When you connect that with the songs, it kind of explains the logic behind it, and I think it makes sense. He’s definitely a crazy guy who did a lot of wrong things, but there also seems to be something more that drove him mad.

If revenge was really his motive, then he’s been hunting down the wrong person the whole time. Ruby was targeted, so it seems like Aqua did something useful by accident in the end… hahaha. (but it'd have been stupid if Kamiki didn't even intend to kill his own daughter<what is this, seriously??) I feel like this new chapter is set in a way to direct us away from the idea that KAMIKI DID NOT HARM AI. THUS, AQUA'S REVENGE DOESN'T EVEN STAND IN THE FIRST PLACE. he just happened to target Ruby by chance and so the focus shifts to that but we should really take this to account when we come to analyzing his character, seriously Kamiki is ANOTHER broken person who lost his love because of the malice in the entertainment industry. We need to read that context!!! That's why this gets on my nerves, I can't cheer Aqua wholeheartedly like this!!

It’s nice that Ruby and Aqua share such a deep bond, sure, but what about Ai’s wish? The two of them are doing their own thing, but what about Ai? (Of course, I expected Aqua to do that because he’s that kind of character. I saw it coming, didn’t I? I practically nailed it in my analysis before the chapter even came out, predicting that Aqua’s focus had shifted to Ruby.) I ended up liking the movie arc of this manga the most… so watching Aqua act that way kind of irritated me. What’s with that enlightened expression like everything’s over? Didn’t you say you’d grant Ai’s wish, you dumbo… Well, I do wonder how anyone can save someone so far gone, but did he really figure out who Kamiki truly was before deciding to kill him? Ai really wished for him to be saved. Why can't he understand his father? Why can't anyone understand how hurt this guy is except for Ai? There is not a single person who can understand his pain in the manga. This frustrates me, and I understand why he's so desperate about Ai because why wouldn't he become like that. He's become tainted and terrible, I get that, but he REALLY WASN'T LIKE THIS!! and if he's actually possessed like how I think he may be, then what's been happening isn't even entirely his will!!

There was talk about Kamiki having done nothing, but was that really a lie? I’m really confused. If he tried to kill Ruby, then maybe it really is over, but… who even is this guy?? What AM I supposed to make of him? Why are there still so many contradicting info?? They really have to explain this to us!!!

That’s why I don’t think this is the end. There are still too many unresolved plot points.

And personally, I think there's a lot to blame that lies with whatever it was that caused Kamiki to become so “broken.” That needs to be addressed.

I don’t think it’s right to pin all the malice on one crazy person and then get rid of him like that solves everything. Kamiki wasn’t originally someone who would break down this badly.

It seems like this character received two songs… So, regardless of how things end, I hope they properly address who this character really is.

#3

This is the first time I’ve encountered a character that’s so hard to understand. I’ve never felt like this before—there’s never been a character I couldn’t grasp to this extent. It’s not that I can’t understand their actions; it’s that I can’t figure out what kind of personality they even have. (it's said they had a noble soul, in that case, I DID SEE THROUGH HIS TRUE NATURE THOUGH. SO I'LL CLING ONTO THAT.)

This isn’t a character with a ton of screentime, but even within the few scenes they’ve appeared in, the content seems to contradict itself.

I keep saying this, but if it weren’t for the portrayals shown in the movie arc, I wouldn’t be this confused.

Why did they even mention fatherly love, and why did he say something about accepting death… His expressions are drawn in such a confusing way. They look so gentle and tender in some. In chapter 154, I really think he was being sincere—since the star had faded…

In long series, I can understand when a character’s personality changes a lot between the early and later parts, but this character hasn’t appeared much at all, and it hasn’t even been 10 chapters, yet their personality has completely shifted, and it’s impossible to reconcile their actions as coming from the same person.

Up until chapter 161, I’d managed to piece things together to make sense, but…

How do the events from chapters 152 to 162, this 10-chapter span, contradict each other so completely?

It’s hard to just say it’s all lies, because the portrayal wasn’t done in a way that supports that. Even when I try to selectively take what feels like the truth and dismiss the rest as lies, it’s still so confusing.

There are foundational elements, right? With just those pieces, you can sort of build a framework, but…

So, what’s the deal with this character? There’s no answer. We need solid information, but for some strange reason, the story just doesn’t provide it.

Honestly, I’m starting to think this character is possessed or something. Did they create it this way on purpose, like that’s the direction it’s heading? If that’s the case, then it makes sense for Ai to want to save him, doesn’t it?

This would also make Ai’s wish come true, since how can you save someone like that otherwise? I’ve mentioned before that it feels like this character is being controlled by something, or maybe a crack formed in his mind, and something took over that space. Even Aqua and Ruby’s personalities change for the worse when the black star appears. I’m starting to think that his desperate feelings for Ai were taken advantage of, and he got possessed and went mad.

His original personality couldn’t have been like this, right? That much's actually been provided as a plot point. I am right on this.

I’ve never analyzed a character this thoroughly, because I’ve never encountered one that made me go, “What’s going on with this guy?” to this extent. It’s… so overwhelming, good gosh.

I really put a lot of effort into this! I really think I’m good at this kind of analysis. But with this character, it just doesn’t make sense.

I would accept it if a proper explanation came out, but this character fluctuates so much within such a small amount of screentime, and the behavior is so drastically different that it’s just too weird. If this was intentional, then we’re talking about the realm of split personalities or possession. Is that not a possibility?

No, seriously. He was supposed to be noble, wasn’t he? I think he’s truly the noble god Sarutahiko at his core, but something like the black star killed his wife and is trying to completely destroy or ruin him. Why else would there be all these themes about gods who love in the face of absurdity and irrationality? Hahaha. Unless there’s something that totally broke him down like this, he wouldn’t have changed so drastically! Ai loved him, didn’t she? I paid close attention, and he seemed like someone worthy of that love! So why did he end up like this? Will there ever be an explanation?

Is Ai really not a god? Wow, seriously… No, this manga has something going on. Something to do with gods.

Isn’t she really the reincarnation of Ame-no-Uzume? I mean, wouldn’t the song lyrics make sense because of that?

Doesn’t she want to save her fallen husband, who’s been completely broken, no matter what? Seriously? He’s that messed up? He’s too far gone after losing his wife… and it’s understandable he’d go crazy like this. How should I even take this manga? If it’s not this, then I just won’t be able to understand the plot. To be honest, there are way too many weird hints about gods scattered throughout. If they’ve dropped all these clues, they need to tie it together somehow, or at least address it. Why else include these ideas?

I’m really thorough when it comes to character analysis, especially when I’m trying to draw fan art.

But Kamiki? He’s just too inconsistent. Seriously, hasn’t he been possessed by some evil spirit or something? Isn’t it weird? I want to accept it, but how are the portrayals from chapters that aren’t even far apart from each other so different? It’s not even about poor writing at this point—it feels like they’ve deliberately written him as two completely different characters. Did they do this on purpose?

My head really hurts. If he were just a crazy guy, I could have accepted that, honestly. But why give us information that says otherwise, and then turn him back into a madman? Why does Ai want him to be saved?

Then it’s really like something’s possessed him. This isn’t his true nature, so he needs to be exorcised.

#4

Yes, “Fatal” is Kamiki’s song.

Why do you think he longs to see Ai so much? Why would he say he’s fine with sacrificing anything for her?

It’s because no one, aside from Ai, ever truly looked at him properly. Of course he wouldn’t want to live like that. Aqua isn’t at that level… But Kamiki, he would give up anything just to see Ai again. I feel like he thinks Ai needs to come and take him away.

Ai gave Kamiki love and understood him. He thought they were alike. But everyone else either took advantage of him or failed to understand him. Why is that? Since childhood, it seems like no one who approached this character ever tried to understand him. That’s why I think he ended up clinging to Ai… And when you think about that, it’s hard to see how he could have grown up with this kind of personality… Given that environment, he actually turned out well. Even if he’s twisted, he didn’t end up as twisted as you’d expect. He really could have been a saint if things weren't this messed up. He never got to be happy, which is what really upsets me when I see him. You see him going in 162 saying the only times he felt alive was when he had Ai with him, WELL DUH!!! Because the other parts of his life was so miserable!! He has no one!! How CAN someone not grow insane after losing that single person who became his reason for living?? Seeing him makes me feel terrible... the fact that he used to be so kind makes me feel sad. He wouldn't have became what he is if it weren't for these twisted turn of events!! And what were the odds of those things happening to him, I don't think the events leading up to Ai's death was his doing, he's CLEARLY been taken over by the loss after that and that's the reason why he's shifted. There's no way he ever wanted to harm his only love.

#5

Without you, I cannot live anymore I would sacrifice anything for you I can’t get enough of your love What should I use to fill in what’s missing?

This song is really Kamiki’s song, isn’t it?

But, could this person have come up with those strange thoughts, that odd way of thinking, all on his own?

It’s not a natural thought process at all, is it?

What if something urged him to believe that by doing so, he could get closer to Ai?

Do people usually come to those kinds of conclusions? I feel like I wouldn’t think that way.

So, if—just if—this person can somehow be saved, like Ai wanted, then maybe there’s a separate mastermind behind why he came to think that way. Is he really the type of person who could naturally fall apart to this degree? We haven’t seen any clear explanation for why he ended up like this. And one of the song’s title is “Mephisto.” Then maybe Kamiki is like Faust, and there’s a separate entity he made a deal with? Like that black star god? Though it might not be.

Remember that post where I speculated about stars possessing people? I still think stars are definitely influencing people.

there's another theory post I wrote about that, too.

You know how the logo for this series has star eyes in it??

STAR EYES ARE IMPORTANT. I BELIEVE STARS=GODS=DWELL IN EYES OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS,

THERE'S A LYRIC IN FATAL THAT ACTUALLY INDICATES THAT.

キラキラお星様宿したあなたのeyes/ Your eyes with glittering stars in them.

So it makes sense that Kamiki's been under the influence.. of this "black star" for at least two decades....that'd be enough to really destroy and taint his soul. I also mentioned that the black star may do that do a person. I REALLY think this can be it.

Switching gears, I got volume 14 today…

As I looked through it, I kept wondering—why and how did this sweet, innocent boy end up like this? It’s such a mystery.

There’s so much about him we don’t know. We don’t even know exactly when he started falling apart, but Ai seemed to be happy being with him. And this guy liked Ai so much that it seemed like he could live just by having her around.

He really looked happy. If you look at his memories with Ai, he looks so genuinely joyful… He must have really loved her.

That’s probably why he broke down. In those memories, Ai was always smiling too, so I think they must have been very happy together. I'm sure. She REALLY loved him. He was a good person.

[bangsinc]

I didnt see a rules list somewhere so im so sorry if this goes against them!

Could I get a Spot x Trans male reader (or non specified) coming out to him?

Like...Spot comes back after the whole collider accident and the reader is like "pshh thats fine, im different too" ?

💗 Spot x Transmasc! (And Transfem and Non-binary) Reader coming out to him! (Hcs) 🏳️‍⚧️

Thank you so much for the request! I wanted to make this as Inclusive as possible for any reader out there, so I made 3 different versions of different identities!

No big warnings, although gender dysphoria and identity is mentioned. Reader has some initial insecurities opening up, but the spot is supportive!

Transmasc! Reader -

The Spot is.. incredibly familiar with the feeling of not belonging in one’s skin. Every morning when he wakes up, he’s forced to face the reality that he’s an anomaly. He knows how it might feel being cast out and/or neglected by society, having experienced certain unwanted behavior himself due to his apperance, he is drawn to the your strength and resilience. You’re incredibly brave, at least to him! :)

Coming out is something uncomfortable. It makes you feel all sorts of emotions at once, and while the spot can at worst not notice and at best be akaward, he tries his best to validate you throughout it all. He’s open to hugs, pats on the head, and reassuring words if he feels as if you’re becoming overwhelmed.

It’s a big BIG deal to him that you would open up about something so intimate about yourself to him. It shows him that you trust him enough with your true identity and with who you truly are, and it means a lot!!

He offers a listening ear whenever he can, sharing his own experiences of overcoming adversity and navigating a world that often misunderstands and rejects him.

He considers, from now on, your journey of transitioning to also be a big part of his life too. He keeps track of when you take your testosterone shots and how much you take, and is pretty much willing to do anything if it means it can ease some tension off of your shoulders. He’s fully supportive, willing to take you to appointments to your endocrinologist, gender therapist, or a healthcare team at a gender clinic. Hell, do you want him to schduale them?

He’s also incredibly strict about binding, worrying that you might forget to take it off because of how good it feels with it on. You could break a rib yknow! Breaks are mandatory!

Gender dysmorphia comes in many different forms. Sometimes you’re about to take a shower and look at yourself too long and just feel so.. uncomfortable in your own skin. Your own body doesn’t seem like yours, and The Spot understands this. He’s willing to listen if you wish to talk to him about it, and be a shoulder to cry on. He sees you as a man, nothing more and nothing less, and sees no issue in reminding you.

So many compliments. Sooo many, but his favorite one is commenting on how handsome you are, because you are!! You’re his handsome little boyfriend, and he feels no shame in gushing about that.

If you’re thinking about getting any surgeries, expect his full and unconditional love. Typically surgeries are a very draining process, before and after. Therapy is required, and you tend to be incredibly sore after the procedure. Jonathan is willing to take care of you after, holding you, making your bed a little more comfortable for when you sleep, even making meals if you feel to drained too. (MALEWIFE behavior)

Transfem! Reader -

Similar to Transmasc reader, if you identify as Transfem, The Spot will immediately understand and be able to relate. He sees you coming out to him as the most intimate form of affection, as a way to let him see who you really are deep down.. and of course he’s just as supportive! He’d do anything for his wonderful girlfriend.

Coming out to him is hard, and once again, if you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable he’s right there for you. He wants you to know that no matter what he loves you.

If you take Estrogen, Anti-androgens (testosterone blockers), or any other medication, you’ll find he’s very strict about when you take it and how much. Your health and saftey is very important to him, and he wouldn’t want you to get sick!

Expect him to take you shopping with all the money he stole ;3. He’d love to spoil you with all sorts of cute little outfits, and show the world just how amazing and pretty his girlfriend is! Might be a lot of black and white though.. what? No that’s.. not intentional.

He probably gazes at you like a lovesick puppy, like you’re just the cutest girl in the world. He’s not very shy about reminding you either, even if he is generally awkward.

If you also plan on doing any surgeries, he doesn’t mind caring for you before and after! He’d hate for you to have to go through such a long and tiring process by yourself, and he’d want nothing more than to be able to assist you in any way he can. He’s willing to adjust anything to make it more comfortable for you, cook, clean, you name it!

Nonbinary! Reader -

The Spot already has a very unique perception of reality, and readily grasps the concept of your nonbinary identity. He intuitively comprehends the fluidity of your gender and appreciates the fact that you’re brave enough and trust him enough to come out to him.

He doesn’t necessarily have a gender anymore either soo… twinning! Maybe that might make you feel a little better?

Of course, that said, The Spot can espically understand what it must feel like to be outcasted for how you appear. You’re not a boy, or a girl, and it’s hard for practically most people to understand.. but he does! There is no binary for you, and to him that’s amazing.

He doesn’t mind showing you off to anyone and everyone, and might even get a little mad if someone were to ask if you were the ‘boy or girl’ in the relationship. He’s generally a very docile dude, but he doesn’t mind getting a little agressive if he feels as if you’re being mocked. You’re everything to him, why can’t everyone see that you’re just.. the best?

This applies to everyone buttt.. he loves you :3

[glade-constellation]

It might also have something to do with old Moon. Old Moon was Lunar’s first real brother, the first sibling who didn’t hit him, etc. He was with Lunar for Lunar’s whole life.

And New Moon just met Lunar. He isn’t the person who gave Lunar his first real taste of family. He isn’t the person Lunar shared a body with for months. He isn’t the person who took the time to remember exactly what level of Kingdom Hearts he was on before October. That person is dead.

And, more importantly, new Moon actively hates that person, and even exaggerates old Moon’s bad traits by going so far as to say he wouldn’t have cared about seeing Lunar die. Lunar has plenty of reason to hate new Moon.

These are all really good points. I especially like the last one, as it also rubbed me the wrong way when Moon said the old him wouldn’t have cared. Old Moon may have been a bad brother at times, but he didn’t hate his family. It’s shown many times over that he just wanted his family safe, no matter the cost. Old Moon would have been just as devastated of Lunar’s death as the New Moon would have been, had he known Lunar when it happened. He simply would have acted on that grief in a different way.

One thing I’ve learned from watching this show is that everyone is an unreliable narrator. Everyone has their own version of how the narrative goes, and they often don’t align with everyone else’s narrative. Hearing the story from word of mouth alone would never give you the full or correct story. You’re probably going to get a different story from each person, even if just slightly different.

If someone had never met Moon before his amnesia, but heard about him from Moon now, they would think he was a terrible person. We know that’s not entirely true because we’ve watched the show, we’ve seen how Moon was like, but just imagine someone’s first introduction to Old Moon being “he wouldn’t care if his brother died a horrific death by his abuser”. You would think he was a bad person, because that is a terrible thing to not care about.

If this truly is the reason why Lunar said he hates Moon, Lunar is in the same place a lot of the viewers are in right now. I recently saw a TikTok of someone complaining, saying the show was telling us stuff about the characters that was inaccurate. It’s not that these characters are trying to be inconsistent, it’s just that they all have different viewpoints as explained above.

Lunar is currently going through a lot right now. He was retraumatized, gained new traumas, died horrifically, and then learned he lost his brother during the months it took to return. It doesn’t matter Moon is still technically there, that wasn’t who Lunar met. He may not realize it, but he’s probably grieving. It’s totally valid in this situation. Sun grieved, is most likely still grieving, but we all know Sun pushes away any negative emotion he has. (I also feel Moon isn’t really allowing anyone to grieve, but that’s for later.) Lunar doesn’t. Even if he can’t currently feel or understand the emotions he’s feeling, he tends to feel his emotions wholeheartedly. That grief could definitely turn into anger at Moon for hating someone they called a brother. Especially because, as we all know, Moon hasn’t actually changed all that much. He’s definitely better in certain ways, but he’s not a complete new person. Lunar trying to grieve while being reminded of the person they’re grieving about could just make the situation worse.

The biggest thing I’m concerned of is that Lunar is going to turn all of his negative emotion on Moon. As someone who personally deals with emotional dissociation I can kind of understand why Lunar is acting the way he is. Not being able to really feel your own emotions will make you do crazy shit just to feel something. If they are able to feel that anger, even if they doesn’t realize they’re feeling it, they will latch onto it and keep doing things that make them angry just to feel something. That potentially means tensions between Lunar and Moon are about to get real bad.

Going to the comment I made earlier, I don’t feel Moon is allowing for anyone to grieve for his old self. Any time he’s brought up, Moon follows it up with a negative comment and turns the conversation. I get it. I really do. I understand why Moon is so upset in this situation. Everyone looks at you and sees something you personally hate and it just fuels the hatred. But Moon needs to step back and let the grief happen. If he starts pushing Lunar to try and see his old self as negative while Lunar is already so emotionally unstable, there will be push back. And it won’t be pretty if Lunar is still as emotionally attached to Old Moon as we think he is.

If Lunar’s comment about hating Moon is as serious as the fandom seems to think, we might have some pretty big family drama around the corner.

[therulerofallpotatos]

I love your comments! 🌺 Why do you think people hate ship Fivela so much?

You mean besides hayes code loving puritanical thought police reasons that pretend they aren’t the exact same as the Moms of Liberty gay book burning group with a leftist hat on?

That is 90% of it.

But for the more reasonable ones who simply dislike the ship personally, it’s not unreasonable to assume a lot of people just don’t like thinking of Aiden’s face and romance in the same sentence. Especially if you also look at the way people treat the ace! Five headcanon as if it’s canon when in fact there has never been any evidence supporting that headcanon either in the show or the original comics. Even less so in the comics, where Five is in fact a lecherous old man who is seen multiple times with strippers. People latched onto it either because they were projecting, wanted to infantilize Five (and ace people for that matter), or think the idea of a “13yo” having lustful thoughts is icky (side note: teenagers being horny is a well documented fact. pretending it doesn’t happen literally never led to anything good historically speaking. Side side note: Five is in his 50s and pushing 70 by the last episode.). Also I say “icky” because i keep seeing words like that as if we’re all a bunch of five year olds on the playground and someone’s parents’ kissed in front of us. I digress.

Most of this is whatever. Ship and let ship also means you’re welcome to have your notp. Just don’t be a judgemental dick about it. I only take issue when it is being judgemental or it’s crossing over into other behavior. Specifically the infantilization of asexuals, which as an ace myself I find frustrating to say the least. (treating asexual people like innocent little babies is acephobic. If you treat me like I don’t know what sex is or can’t possibly have an “unpure” thought, I will bite you and it will not be fun)

Aside from all that. There’s also just plain old ship wars. Nenufair has referred to Liliego as a cost sunk fallacy and that is at least partly true. I don’t dislike the ship, personally, but some people just cannot handle when their ship doesn’t go canon, isn’t validated in some perceived way, or isn’t as popular as a different ship. It’s a tale as old as toxic fandom practices and dressing it up in therapy speak and activist terms doesn’t make it any less a ship war. You’re just being extra insulting to people who are affected by and fight for those real issues on top of being obnoxious. If you just want more attention on your otp, then being nasty about it just makes other people want to block your favorite tag altogether. It’s no way to encourage creativity and discussion.

The execution of Fivela going canon is it’s own discussion which some people liked and some people didn’t whether they shipped it or not. I have mixed feelings personally, and yeah. I would have written certain things differently, but I’m also not the author and never was. I didn’t put Five on a pedestal the way some other people seem to have, and I’m partial to happier endings but that’s my writing preferences. This wasn’t actually my story, and I am mostly content to be along for the ride. A lot of people seem pissed because this wasn’t something they wanted and the writers didn’t listen and it’s really just revealing how entitled they felt to the team just taking their order down like this is a restaurant and not a story. People are rabid right now about the whole season and their notp going canon is an easy thing to latch onto especially if they need to address the cop in their head. This is the same fandom that seethes when Allison and Luther have a cute little childhood sweathearts romance in the show adapted from the incest superhero comics. Just like people go pissy when there’s incest in their incest dragons show or gore in their violence on display anime.

A lot of people also didn’t see it coming and felt blindsided. Some are going back and realizing the tension was always there, but many refuse to see it. There’s nothing like willful blindness to fuel a good outrage.

And for some it’s just not their cup of tea, but I doubt they’re the ones screaming right now. Not everyone likes an enemies to lovers arc or messy dynamics or love triangles. Some have been burned by poorly executed tropes in the past. Some just prefer softer less dynamic relationship development. I can’t relate, but that’s fine.

Of course there’s also anyone convinced that Aiden must have been coerced or something into doing a simple kiss scene as a grown actor pushing twenty years old. People love infantilizing Aiden and it’s actually really getting on my nerves. The whole age gap discourse in general has been poisoned by pedo hysteria and judgement assholes treating grown adults like babies who can’t possibly know what’s best for them instead of looking at each individual relationship and looking for mistreatment. It’s much easier to assign a number to things as a shortcut for “bad” and “good” than to recognize abusive behavior both in others and yourself. I’ve seen nothing to suggest Aiden was mistreated on set in regards to his romance arc with Lila, and unless I do, I’m not going to assume the worst here anymore than I did when Hermione and Ron got together or...I don’t know, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.

Anyways I have a job interview to get to so I’m sorry if this is barely coherent ramblings. I just woke up and I had some venting in me ig. if someone more eloquent than me wants to expand on anything I said, I just ask we try to remain civil.

[starryoak]

One thing I really notice about Chihiro in discourse is just how, regardless of what side you are on the gender debate, absolutely incurious people are about their chosen stance. I know it was inevitable that the discourse would exist because of how radioactive canon is in its transphobia, but it’s just frustrating how little anyone engages with the implications of their stated position, regardless of what that position is.

People who say he’s cis are fine, I fundamentally understand just not wanting to unpack all that shit and taking what canon says at face value. The thing is, though, if you’re going to say he’s cis and portray him as such, you have to, y’know, actually grapple with that! Why is a cis boy who doesn’t want to be seen as unmanly or weak dressing as a girl? Is that even really cis, then? Like. There’s inherent gender fuckery to Chihiro’s entire premise that can’t be avoided.

Then you have the side I tend to agree with, who say Chihiro is trans, but honestly, I find the way most people portray her when depicting her as trans… incredibly boring. People just go “ah, ok, she’s trans. Therefore, she’s already happy as is.” and that’s it, they’re done. And in my opinion that just fundamentally misses the point of almost all of her characterization and what makes her potentially interesting!

The thing is, Chihiro is very clearly uncomfortable with how she presents herself; she’s upset she isn’t strong enough, she wants to be more manly, it’s unavoidable to her arc in game… yet, as said before, she is presenting to the world as female despite this! To me, grappling with that internalized hatred and fear of weakness without denying her gender is what makes her interesting as a character, and by ignoring that contradiction entirely, you’re throwing away most of her potential as a character!

Of course, I fundamentally get why people just want to write her as happy and trans, and I’m not objecting to that specifically, it’s more that I feel like there’s a certain level of… incuriosity in how people go about it? Like, instead of depicting Chihiro Fujisaki, a teenager in 2010’s Japan with complex feelings and relationships around how she is presenting to the world but who is happy nonetheless, people depict Chihiro Fujisaki, trans girl who’s up to date with (implicitly) American 2020’s online culture and has no conflict at all with her gender presentation and neither does anyone else.

You can see what I mean, right? It’s just frustrating to me, how it used to be that fans of Japanese media would make an effort, however weebish and uninformed, to actually try and portray Japanese culture in their works, and now it seems like people prefer to treat American online culture as universal and in some ways the only valid culture. It’s about respecting that the world outside America exists and is worth depicting, and the fact that I’ve seen fandom devolve from earnest and genuine, if slightly fetishistic depictions to “lmao what’s japan?”, like, I have genuinely seen fics that just had all the background OCs have English names for some fucking reason? It’s genuinely appalling, frankly. Yes, fanfiction is for fun and I can’t stop you from putting that little effort into your works, but have some goddamn self respect, for Christ’s sake. this is fundamentally just “old woman yells at cloud” except about fandom, feel free to ignore, lmao

[ender--slime]

i wanna share some thoughts i have about. some stuff i guess!!

i think the way people treat post canon, no matter which team was writing it or which version of it you’re looking at, is also similar to the way people treat. literally any other artist in this fandom. which is “your interpretation is Wrong and that means your art and morals are Bad”

which is sad to me because. we all took english classes right? we all learned about different literary lenses and different ways to interpret a piece of media. and that everyone can have different takeaways from the same thing. and they might not be equal or even the authors intent but like. that’s okay. it’s not that serious. sometimes a person is 14 or like. just cares more about Background Character than anyone else. and that’s okay!

i’ve been reading homestuck with a friend who’s never read it before- she works on the fanadventures with me and it’s simply required reading :p And she said something a lil bit ago, basically that she reads the kids as a lot older than 13. she doesn’t feel as though they are written as realistic 13 year olds- 15-16, for sure. but 13? to my friend, not so much.

and that got me thinking about the way people treat HSAU. “why’d you age them up? they were written to be 13 for a reason!” is definitely a valid critique i think, if you yourself had that interpretation of the original character writing. but if you’re my friend, who feels as though they act a bit old to be 13, aging them up probably makes a lot of sense. i think she’d really like HSAU. also because i showed her the ranma 1/2 june scene and she CRIED. on that note- “why did june come out so early?” probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to someone who enjoys post-game adult trans headcanons, but it’s simply the same thing post canon is doing. a What If. What if Egbert realizes she’s a woman at age 40? What if she realizes it at age 18? What are the different themes and interpretations that can be found in both of these headcanons? what personal experiences and interpretations of the post canon and HSBC writers can be found in PQ trans vriska? or middle aged june egbert? what personal experiences and interpretations of a certain content creator can be found in a teenaged june egbert reading ranma 1/2?

artists rip out their hearts and draw them, paint them, write them, compose them onto a canvas for Us to see. what more must they do simply to get Our approval? in this late late late stage capitalist society, must we demand that artists make art for Us? and not for themselves? are we not lucky to be surrounded by so many cakes?

i have all the drawings my partner has ever made me on display in my room. she doesn’t draw very well- but they are so special. they look about the same as an elementary schoolers art skills- like the Little Chuck E kid who visits me at work. but to me they are the most amazing pieces of art in the world!!

all the art we make has our own hearts and souls poured into it. and that’s pretty cool.

this is my tumblr exclusive opinion twitter doesn’t get to see this one shhhhhh also i am not accounting for every nuance of media literacy and analysis ofc im just yapping. so plz don’t kill me or whatever

[zeeph-containment-zone]

Chat I dont care if you share your f/o or not, you do NOT get to tell other people their relationship with their f/o isn’t valid because you’re nonsharing. You don’t get to tell people you don’t see others who express their affection in a different way than you do that “their relationship isn’t as good as yours” because they don’t love the same exact way you do. Everyone loves their f/o in their own way and just because YOU aren’t cool with doubles doesn’t mean you get permission to publicly tell people your relationship is the only real one and everyone else’s is fake, invalid or any of the like. It really fucking sucks to see certain people talk about, and I quote, how their love is “different and real” from everyone else’s because someone expresses their affection to their f/o in a different way then them. If it’s that big of an issue, block the person you don’t like instead of, again and I quote, “hoping their attraction to the character fizzles out.” That’s such a terrible thing to wish on someone who finds a fictional character important for any reason!

And also because I saw slander towards people who have multiple/shifts in their f/os ON THE SAME POST, if you have more than one f/o or if your f/os change depending on how you feel, your relationship is with them is wonderful and nobody has the right to tell you you don’t deserve your bippy because you have more than one. In my case, my f/os serve very different purposes and each one resonates more with me depending on what my PTSD decides to throw at me on any given day. You’re not a bad partner or person for having multiple f/os who pass the hypothetical torch around! They all love you no matter what at the end of the day <3

[newathens]

please write the book. or at least a in-depth post bcs i’m deeply curious.

so like I’ll go on and on for a second cause i need to get it off my chest because im so upset right now but know that im saying this through a lens of mental illness and pessimism and i don’t think u should take it as valid cause it’s borderline mean. im sure if i was more ‘healed’ or whatever i wouldn’t think like this but anyway

i don’t think we as a society are striving for weight loss anymore i think we as a society are striving for beauty. and i say this well aware of the current weight loss renaissance we’re in right now.

here’s the thing. u don’t need to be skinny to be pretty. there are bigger women who are drop dead gorgeous. but the thing is u have to have the right face and shape to pull off being bigger. and everybody gets so caught up in losing weight because that’s what’s drilled into us when in reality a decent chunk of people don’t need to do that. i have a theory that everyone has a size that they look best at and skinny is not that size for everyone. Sometimes, skinny looks worse

and there isn’t even just skinny or fat. there’s skinny, lean, muscular, athletic, defined, soft, pudgy, boxy, etc etc etc

And from what i have observed people get stuck on going after one body type when actually there are certain things that society has deemed unattractive across all body types and that’s where the problems come up. Highly desirable traits right now are a toned lower abdomen, a defined jawline, high brows, the cute upward curved nose but those i would view as stereotypical beauty at this point. Like Botox beauty

In my view, a heart shape face can get away with a soft jawline, hooked noses should not be touched, if you’re midsize a small apron belly is totally fine because most of the time it’s all complimenting that specific type of beauty category you are in. And sometimes fucking with that makes you look worse

for example, myself, i feel i am a mixture of all undesirable traits. My jaw is not defined, and i have an apron belly, and yes i am a bigger girl but im the WRONG type of bigger girl. Society likes a bigger girl that has a flatter tummy. She doesn’t have to be an hourglass shape, but her stomach definitely isn’t sagging. I refer to these ideal bigger girls as hidden muscle fat. She’s fat, but due to the muscle she has a shape that is an echo of lean

And i know i said wrong type of bigger girl but im actually going to contradict and say that you also can be a bigger with with a flat but and an apron belly, as long as that is the shape that compliments your specific body. Because there are women that have everything i have who are also drop dead gorgeous. And to me there’s like no debating this, i can tell within like a minute whether a body type is meant for someone or not that’s how much im analyzing 24/7

like im not gonna tell a bigger girl with evenly distributed fat and a heart shaped face to lose weight because she’s brilliant as is. She’s fitting the standard of one of many different beauty categories. im not going to tell a midsize girl who is in the perfect position to tone up to lose weight, because making herself skinnier may make her look worse in the long run actually

i feel like what we’ve always done is say get smaller and u will look better. Well no, that’s actually not the case. This explanation is a mess but are u getting weird way my mind works

i assumed u were curious abt my tags but i can always go on about body image and society separately another time

[codename-adler]

In honour of this Pride, here’s a stupid little lesson I’ve come to learn on my own, that might help anyone of you out there struggling with questioning your sexuality or gender like me, and perhaps shaking some sense into some of y’all questioning the legitimacy of some letters in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

If a certain sexuality baffles you, as in you understand what it’s suppose to mean but you just don’t get how someone could experience attraction that way…

…it just means it’s not your sexuality. That’s it.

It enrages, appalls, dumbfounds you that someone might feel this or that way sexually because you just can’t fathom it? Not your sexuality. Therefore not your problem. Let it go, bud. Read the label and put it back on the shelf. It’s that easy. If you cannot comprehend and accept that someone might exist like this, then how is your opinion of any relevance? Newsflash, it’s not. We’re not asking you to love it, to live that way, to fight for us. We’re just telling you to get out of the way. And it’s nobody’s job to make themself palatable to you. It’s no one’s duty to justify their validity to you. It’s not a philosophy class. It’s not a math problem. It’s somebody’s existence. It is non-negotiable.

Now.

For those of you for which sexuality boggles you, like me, in a way that has nothing to do with hate and discrimination, let me elaborate with an example.

I, 24F, cis, have come a long way on my journey to understand myself. Sexually, I’ve been consciously questioning myself since I was 14. Subconsciously? Who knows how long. I’ve made peace with certain aspects, am at war with others. Lots of clarity has been reached in the recent years. The journey is still not over in that regard. Here is what I’ve come to understand in the process.

I could never get how someone identifying as pansexual could experience attraction for anyone regardless of gender. It just didn’t seem possible. Because gender matters to me when it comes to how I experience attraction. Because I was not, therefore, pansexual. So I can cross that off my list. That’s all it means.

I could never get how someone, identifying like I do gender-wise, could experience attraction only for men, and not women. It just seemed impossible. Because I could never experience attraction only for men, and never not experience attraction for women. Because I was not, therefore, heterosexual. That’s it. Cross it off the list.

I could never get how one-night-stands work for some people. How some people could genuinely find someone sexually attractive and feel horny for them without knowing them. It sounded so fake, like a lie, like something out of a movie. Because I do not work that way. Because I was not, therefore, allosexual. Cross it off, cross it off, cross it off.

If you don’t get it, you’re probably not it. That is all it means, all it should mean. And there is nothing wrong with you. If the label makes no sense to you, put it down and try another until you feel some sort of enlightenment. Something that settles in your skin just right, something that feels like a home that’s been waiting for you. I promise it exists. The search is a mess, it is confusing af, there are more trials and errors than wins. But just because those labels feel alien doesn’t mean they can’t help you. You have just begun scratching the surface. Give yourself time, and tools. Engage. Talk. Read. The same goes for your gender identity.

If something feels too foreign in a way that doesn’t sit right within you, don’t cling to it and try to make yourself less comfortable for it. Thank it, put it back out there, and move on. Don’t be sad and ashamed to let go of an old label when it doesn’t fit you anymore. Don’t be scared and closed-off if a new label seems to call for you. Don’t feel weird and wrong if labels are not something that help you. Don’t feel weird and wrong if labels are something you need. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Look it in the eye and see it for what it is: progress.

I speak from my own experience, because it is something I wish I could have known so much earlier, especially in terms of asexuality and its spectrum. There were and always will be waves of knowledge that come and go, and I guess I just wanted to put my little piece of mind out there, in case it helps someone avoid the confusion and hurt I went through. This might be very obvious and stupid to many. It wasn’t to me. Maybe this is only for me, to evaluate my progress and see my journey in its whole. Hope it helps, though.

Happy pride everybody and take care.

[faithfromanewperspective]

do you know how much the way certain fans feel this sense of ownership of celebrities they love and relate to pisses me off and has for years?

like I’ve been a young teen in the days one direction was big. I’ve made mistakes and said things I don’t morally agree with to fit in when I’ve been asked about celebrity crushes, artists I like etc. I learned not to trust fanfics with celebrities in them because I’ve read enough that have made me uncomfortable often in hindsight even if I enjoyed them at the time (not saying we can’t do ethical fics, but this is just an area I don’t engage with and so I’m not an expert in). I’ve had to see the same thing happen, in smaller ways, to people I love who were successful at something or attractive or whatever and as a result the people around them didn’t grant them the freedom they deserve and have a right to.

if I think too hard about it I reflect on the fact I might’ve lost the closest person I knew to a soulmate to this: they left the toxic environment I knew them from, and I knew at the time even that I was a reminder of that time of them, I had to let them go. What I’m saying I guess is this is personal, I do know something of what it’s like, I’m not trying to make it impossible to be a fan.

because I also understand the feeling of ‘no one gets me but X, I’m alive because of X, I find solace in their music or other art form and I’d die for a chance to meet them and I know I’m obsessed as a trauma reaction I can’t just stop’

like all you have to do is remember they’re a person with trauma too. and they’re baring themselves to share that, an incredibly vulnerable thing, they’re trusting us to take care of them. millions of us often who get it and are strengthened because of it as we get through whatever we’re going through. the impact is profound. and this goes both ways.

I remember when Taylor released red and I remember that it was the lucky one that made me realise the way celebrity worship culture had infiltrated into my high school. I remember even then, the emotions of the song convincing me I’d support her if she did disappear from the spotlight. That penny dropped so long ago I can’t remember it but. It’s not easy to be vulnerable with people who go crazy over you and unless you’re real intentional about it and have great boundaries, it’s not sustainable. At all. And this is where it’s our responsibility like it is with the way we tread lightly (or need to, badly) on our planet: we need to adopt the same attitude for our celebrities. Especially the ones we love.

because can you imagine being thrust into that world when you yourself are a teenager, too young to know what boundaries even are? When you’re a teenager who’s from a background of obscurity and struggling to fit in as it is, hungry for love and validation and already used to working hard and beating yourself up at everything bad that happens that you may or may not have had any control over?

I can’t speak for the background of most celebrities but I do know what it’s like to grow up in western sydney in the early 2000s, creative and sensitive and likely neurodivergent in a world that doesn’t know what that is, in a world where we don’t think of ourselves as special or deserving of any sort of thing we might need, in a world where we survive by pleasing people and working hard. It makes for the most humble successful people you’ll ever meet who know how to have empathy and care and will probably work themselves—I know because I’ve done it—into the ground at any chance to have a meaningful difference in someone’s life.

and this is a trend that happens regardless of gender. women are objectified all the time, and as a society we’re starting to call that out. Good. If you’re trans people are weird and predatory all the time, and we’re starting to have conversations where we realise that. Good. And shaming people who are so horrible to such a vulnerable population. But if you’re a man, it doesn’t mean you’re immune to it. Especially if you’re good looking.

being a teenager in the 2010s means being part of a world and generation that was insane over boy bands and when you’re a teenager going through the things and finding comfort in music, you’re not all that powerful, just a vulnerable child. But we grew up, we’re in our 20s now, and we’re adults with power and we have to be conscious of that. Stalking is predatory behaviour, thinking back to the wedding people crowded outside of a month or so back. Recording someone in their private dressing room is predatory behaviour. These are things that if they happened to you, you would call the police, and if it continued, you would get a restraining order. Celebrities aren’t any different to you in that, except for the fact that this is normal fan behaviour to many apparently.

this needs to stop. If we want celebrities we can connect with to continue existing publicly we have to remember that they’re humans first. And go a step further: think about the fact that private jets are causing so much environmental damage and we have to do something about them. But celebrities can’t be normal people commuting where they have to go. They’re constantly on display and if you want to come across as a good person you have to be friendly to every fan. Even if you’re neurotypical, and many of our most talented are not, this is exhausting. Trust me when I say the best thing you can do for the environment, for the celebrities you love, for the music industry, anything, is treat them as normal people and connect with people who find comfort in their art like you do so you don’t feel alone: rather than thinking celebrities are yours to own in any way because of the impact they’ve had on you, and then being weird and gatekeepy at other fans.

this applies to any fandom really, but especially to those for celebrities who do decide to be vulnerable in their art. who tend to be kind with a tendency to people pleasing and possibly overwork too. who capture our hearts in so many ways and yes maybe their looks might play a part in it. who we’ve grown up with and maybe that means they started as kids too, had to learn boundaries the hard way and probably have still active trauma from that experience that’s impacting them and their personal lives because that’s what trauma does. who still decide to say nice things about how much they appreciate their fans all the time instead of ever taking it out on us.

but we can see their trauma in their songs when they are being vulnerable, and their success means that there are some of us who get it. A youth that was stolen and filled with mistakes/I turned all around look for someone to blame/but I’m over dramatic and drenched in my pain. I know I’m not the only one who that hit home for. So use your heads. You say you care and yet you turn people who care for you as much as they physically can when their fan base is in the millions into objects who exist for your own pleasure without thought to whether it’s hurting them. we need to do better.

(thank you @confusionmeisss for inspiring this rant)