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#Feel free to ask clarifying questions if you need to
predacon-carrion · 3 months
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Thank you, I sincerely apologize for going off like that.. I just had moments where I really put things in retrospect. I may be, okay, but I'm definitely the paranoid type of person.. who worries an awful lot when I do give myself the time to sit down and think...
≈STS
It’s alright. We all have days when we aren’t feeling our best.
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maydays-medbay · 9 months
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I've been thinking about the Ruination Corporation lore and I've started to play with the idea that the corps has kind of expanded over time, leading to many facilities where they run their shady dealings. These facilities will probably also have satellite sites/facilities where they store things and/or focus on the different aspects of what they do. With that being said, I now also realize that I'm going to have to think more about these different facilities and how they run. I'm definitely considering each of the Salvific Six getting their own facilities that they run (Paradigm's being the largest and most important) with the others being less grandiose and more hidden to the average onlooker, but with that comes another problem.
I'll have to create characters that run these extra facilities while these members are otherwise occupied, AND I'll have to consider making characters for the satellite facilities. There's....a lot of work ahead of me lol.
(Now that I'm thinking about it...maybe we'll see some old faces within the corps. But you didn't hear that from me 😉)
Each of the characters who run in the absence of a Salvific Six member are those sincerely trusted by the member to run their operations. I can imagine that many of the right-hand members are reflections of their overseer, though not all of them are.
(Keep in mind, many of these operations and facilities run independently and can sometimes clash with each other. When that happens, the members can gather at the main facility to have a meeting to clear things up, with Paradigm often having the final word)
The only exception to this rule would be Paradigm's facility, as I think they would entrust Vyrox with their tasks whenever they leave. Paradigm is the ONLY member that does this, as they simply find many of their rank-and-file members lacking. Their trust simply doesn't trickle down far enough for them to see any member outside of the Six to carry out their work, and even then, many of the members they'd find too self-interested to be able to adequately run their entire regime without catastrophic consequences.
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worldofgoo · 2 years
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How do I stop being a Hater like you it’s bad for my mental health
good question... hm... idk why it happened exactly so the easiest answer would be to just be me but that is not very useful to other people
probably a really big factor is just removing myself from things that make me angry. in my case thats mostly discourse since that was the main thing that pissed me off (and kind of made me doubtful about human nature in general tbh), but that did include also just not being around things that irritated me or didnt interest me either. its probably why i dont follow or follow back many people now, even though im sure most of them are very normal and nice, just kinda curating my surroundings ig
if irl is also exacerbating Hater Tendencies, or its things online that you can't necessarily avoid, I feel like the other side is to just try to understand the thing or people you're being a Hater about, and why some people like it or think the way they do even if its baffling to you. since there's some things you just can't change, or aren't worth the energy to change
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disengaged · 2 years
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i'm not entirely sure how to put this into words, but do you think that, to identify as trans, you have to have "enough" gender dysphoria, like you have to check off a certain amount of symptoms to qualify as trans? i've just been thinking a lot and, while i don't quite feel a sense of wrongness in myself, i don't feel rightness either and i just wish i were different altogether, but i don't know what that means to me. i've definitely had thoughts of being the opposite sex and wishing i had certain qualities of theirs, but it's difficult to tell if it's just insecurities or actual dysphoria that i'm feeling. i'm sorry if this sounds rude or anything, i was just hoping you could help make some sense of these thoughts. hope you have a nice day!
i appreciate that you've worded it this way instead of just saying "are u truscum 🤨" but alas, it's essentially the same question
& my answer is ..... uh .....?? while i don't think medical transition should be considered necessary (or feasible, or desired) for everyone, i do kinda fundamentally believe you need some kind of gender dysphoria to be trans (bc that is. the entire premise of the thing. base requirement. like how else would you know. yknow.) but that could be socially, physically, whatever.
worth noting: i think the DSM-5 is a load of shit, and i don't believe in a formal """"checklist"""" of Trans Symptoms. i categorically reject the pathologization of my existence haha uwu
i guess my advice to you would be this: think hard about it. read books. go attend a queer group or something. im definitely not the "AHHHH DONT CALL YOURSELF TRANS WHAT IF YOU REGRET IT!!!!!" type of guy (??? you can call yourself whatever you want at any time and no one can stop you), but .... there is power in assigning a label to yourself, and i'd advise you to think deeply about whether that label is right for you.
i say this because the phrase "i just wish i were different altogether" .......... kinda makes me feel like you may have more feelings abt yourself than just your sex/gender/gender presentation, and it'd probably be beneficial to examine those. yknow, see what underlying or concomitant issues you've got going on. it might help clear the muddy waters a bit.
is the desire to be perceived as something other than your AGAB the main source of your discomfort, or is it something else? do you envy those certain qualities of the 'opposite sex' (problematic term alert) because they're qualities of the gender you wish you were, because you're attracted to them, or because they're attractive features & you wish you were more attractive? i can't answer those questions for you.
if all you've got is an abstract feeling of dysphoria, there could be a vast number of causes for that. it could be gender dysphoria, or it could be something else (insecurity about appearance, insecurity in life, being depressed, lack of stable identity, just plain hating gender roles and social norms bc they suck, etc).
so yknow. i can't tell you if you're trans or not. no one can. your mom can't, your doctor can't, your psychologist can't, your best friend can't. there's no single, agreed-upon checklist to be trans. plenty of cis folks are GNC without being trans, and plenty of trans people present as/similar to their AGAB without being cis. i could try to describe what gender dysphoria feels like to me, but it could feel completely different to someone else, i have no idea. it's not something that can be measured on a physical scale.
tldr; it's up to you if you want to call yourself trans or not. you might be, or you might not be. only you can figure that out for yourself.
(aka the least helpful advice ever tee hee)
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honeystarcamper · 9 months
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hi!! was wondering if you had a character request limit? :> /gen
hi anon! honestly it depends on how motivated i am, but as of now the limit is probably two characters per ask? you do have to specify whether you want them in one graphic or separately.
uh. don't go overboard is all i'm asking
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corkinavoid · 29 days
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DPxDC When You Are Suddenly Dating a Princess
This prompt is a variation of good!GIW AU (read here), but that's an excuse because I just wanted badass Jasmine Fenton and her good boy Jason Todd.
"Jason?"
The voice catches him off-guard. Not because he doesn't know it, no, quite on the opposite - he knows that voice very well, he's just heard it this morning when his beautiful girlfriend kissed him on the cheek and left for work.
It's just that he didn't expect to hear it at a closed auction full of magic artifacts, two states away from Gotham, and in a room full of rich-ass people from all around the world.
He turns around.
Jazz is looking at him with an expression of pleasant surprise, black off-shoulder silk dress with teal accents draping her figure all the way down to the floor - it's kind of reminiscent of Greek togas, with high waist and lots of folds on the skirt. It also makes his girlfriend look even taller than she is, which, Jason is fairly certain, was intentional.
She is also wearing a necklace on her neck, and just by one look at it, Jason knows that it costs at least five times more than the apartment they live in.
"Jazz?" He breathes out, astonished, but then catches himself and puts on a smile, "You look stunning." This is not the time to argue or ask questions; he is on a mission. And it's a time sensitive one, so no matter how curious he is, it can wait till later. They do live together, after all.
"Thank you," the girl smiles, and then briefly turns her head to a tall man in a very expensive dark blue suit standing beside her, "If you excuse me," she nods with an apologetic smile in the corner of her lips, and the man smiles back and takes a step away. Meanwhile, Jazz approaches Jason and casually places a hand on his elbow.
"Mind telling me what are you doing here?" She questions, and, wait, that was supposed to be his line! Jason blinks and shakes his head, snapping out of his stupor.
He can't exactly say, 'Constantine asked Batman for a favor because he knows the man is rich as fuck, so now Jason has to either buy or steal an ancient dagger for some bullshit magic ritual because he was the only one free tonight and John really needs that dagger and that ritual and Bruce owes him a favor, unfortunately'. Jazz doesn't know he is a vigilante/crime lord in redemption. She might suspect he is - that girl is perceptive on par with mind readers - but Jason never straightforwardly told her, and she never brought it up herself.
So, instead, he goes, "Sightseeing."
Jazz raises one eyebrow and pointedly looks around the dimly lit room full of magic users, rich collectors, socialites, and other shady individuals. Jason keeps smiling. Eventually, the redhead sighs and looks away, taking a step forward and guiding him through the auction at a leisurely pace.
"Looking for anything in particular?" She tries again, and Jason debates if he should answer her. On one hand, his head is buzzing with thousands of questions, starting with 'how did you even make it here when your shift at Arkham ended two hours ago' and finishing with 'to which group of shady individuals do you belong'. On the other hand, she clearly does belong here if her confident posture and outfit are taken into account.
And she is his girlfriend. Has been one for two years now. Maybe it's time to share some secrets.
"An obsidian knife with an owl on the handle," he finally says, and Jazz hums.
"A Tecpatl?" She clarifies, and Jason doesn't even feel that surprised by her sudden knowledge of Aztec culture. He nods. Jazz gives him a thoughtful glance, "And how important is it for you to have it?"
"To the point where I'm prepared to steal it if I have to," he laughs, but judging by the look on Jazz's face, she gets that he is only half-joking. She narrows her eyes at him:
"Is it for you, or for your, um, friends on the orbit?" She asks, briefly glancing up to the ceiling, and Jason feels very confused for a second there.
But then it hits him: she is talking about the Watchtower. She is implying the League.
Jason doesn't hold back a quiet curse, "Damn it, I should have hidden the guns better, shouldn't I?"
Jazz laughs softly, but it's a warm, affectionate laugh, "Well, yes, but you also shouldn't leave bloody bandages in the bathroom. And your helmet on the kitchen counter," she tells him, amusement lacing her voice, and Jason rubs his face with his free hand.
"Fuck," he mutters. And then, "Sorry."
Jazz waves her hand it the air, brushing his apology off, "Don't worry. I'm not in a place to blame you for having secrets, am I?" She muses, and, okay, fair. But before Jason can try to make her elaborate on the topic, she returns to her previous question, "So is it for a friend?"
The knife, right. Jason makes an annoyed face, scrunching his nose.
"Yeah. Bruce owes someone a favor, but he couldn't make it. Other stuff came up," he huffs. 'Other stuff' in question includes some off-world mission, so he really couldn't make it, but that doesn't make Jason any less mad about it.
"Let me guess, that 'someone' smells of cigarettes and liquor, has a British accent, and wears a trench coat," Jazz deadpans, and Jason stares at her with wide eyes.
"How- Are you sure you're not secretly a mind reader?" He asks. He knows for sure that Jazz doesn't have a meta-gene, but maybe she is a magic user? That would explain why and how she is even at the auction. Yet, the redhead laughs.
"No, sorry. Just met him a few times," she winces like she can smell the phantom smell of tobacco even when the mage is not here, "Can't say I like him, but asking someone to fetch him a Tecpatl seems like his style."
That only makes Jason even more inclined to believe his girlfriend is actually a magic user. But he doesn't get to ask because Jazz suddenly looks him in the face.
"Consider yourself in luck, by the way," she grins, "You won't have to steal it."
[part 2 ->]
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milkloafy · 3 months
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I COULD BE YOUR CRUSH — WRIOTHESLEY
⋆。˚ ❀ summary: you gush about your crush to neuvillette over some tea, and your crush unexpectedly joins the tea party and overhears you talking about him. ⋆。˚ ❀ contents: fluff, fem!reader (use of princess as a petname), sassy neuvi, mentions of ayato ⋆。˚ ❀ wc: 1.2k+ ⋆。˚ ❀ a/n: alexa play crush by tessa violet,, LOL i was thinking so hard about the song title then i was like okay yeah these lyrics work ;-; titles are so hard.. anywayyy PLS ENJOY SOME WRIO FLUFF FOR THE SOUL !!
“You just don’t understand, Neuvillette,” you sighed dramatically, stabbing your fork into the delicate cake in front of you. “He’s totally swoon-worthy.”
Neuvillette took a sip of his tea before carefully placing the cup back on its saucer. For a while, he continued to stay silent, as if considering his words.
Once he finally opened his mouth, the only question that came out was a calm, “How so?”
It didn’t take long for a million reasons to pop into your head.
“Well…have you seen his arms?” you gushed. “Is that not enough of a reason in itself?”
Neuvillette scoffed, a smile of amusement playing on his lips.
“That’s not all, of course,” you clarified, grabbing a throw pillow from the sofa next to you and hugging it close to your chest. “He’s also caring and kind and treats everyone with respect, no matter who they are.” 
Neuvillette’s gaze flickered briefly to the door behind you, but you paid it no mind.
“Not to mention how he looks when he gets all serious. Neuvillette, have you ever seen him talk about a prisoner he had to punish? It’s so…” You hid your face behind the pillow, cheeks flaming at the thought.
Before you had a chance to collect yourself, you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You immediately stilled in your seat, slowly bringing the pillow back down to your lap.
“Sorry I’m late. Who are we talking about?”
Neuvillette smiled, ignoring your frantic look directed right at him. “Wriothesley, welcome. You are not too late. Please, take a seat.”
Wriothesley slipped onto the sofa, taking a seat next to you. Neuvillette poured him a cup of tea that he graciously accepted. Looking over at you, Wriothesley brought the drink up to his face and asked, “Care to tell me who you were speaking of before I arrived? It sounded like you were singing their praises.”
You fiddled with the the hem of your silk pajamas— Neuvillette failed to inform you beforehand that a certain someone would be joining the tea party, so you appeared in your regular sleep clothes. You racked your brain trying to come up with a response. 
“Oh, you know… Kamisato Ayato,” you managed, vaguely remembering how you saw his name and face on the cover of The Steambird recently. “The head of the Kamisato clan is such a…dashing and strong leader. I think.” 
“I didn’t realize you were close to Kamisato,” commented Wriothesley, sitting with one leg loosely draped over the other as he leaned back against the sofa.
“Oh,” you shook your head, “no. No, I’ve never even met him.”
Wriothesley raised a singular eyebrow in question. “Your words earlier seemed so strong for something directed at a man you have never met.” 
You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant even though your heart threatened to beat our of your chest. “You know how enamored a crush can make someone.” 
“I do,” Wriothesley agreed, his gaze locked onto yours so intensely that you almost had to blink.
“I’m sure you do,” remarked Neuvillette, still sipping his tea.
You and Wriothesley both looked over at him.
Neuvillette blinked. “Did you forget I was here? This is my office, is it not?” When no one responded, he sighed. “Well, I finished the last of my tea and I have some work to wrap up. Feel free to stay as long as you need.”
Neuvillette made his way back to his desk and Wriothesley refocused his attention towards you. 
“So. Kamisato Ayato,” he brought the clan leader up once more.
You choked out a laugh of exasperation. “Are we still on this? Just let me have my silly little crush on someone across the world who doesn’t even know I exist.”
Tapping his fingers against the teacup, Wriothesley huffed. You realized he looked almost annoyed and frustrated.
Just as you were about to ask him what was wrong, Wriothesley opened his mouth and said, “Would it be overbearing of me to say I wish you had said a different name when I asked who you were gushing over?”
A strange mixture of curiosity and hope filled your chest.
Curiosity as to who he thought you were talking about. Hope that maybe he thought it might’ve been him. 
“You could never be overbearing,” you assured, grabbing a small biscuit from the table and softening it up in your warm tea. “Would it be nosy of me to ask who you wished I was gushing over?”
Wriothesley grinned. “You are certainly nosy. But it’s one of the things I like about you.”
You laughed, wiping a crumb off your lip with a napkin. “Does that mean you won’t tell me?”
“Perhaps another day.”
In the distance, you heard Neuvillette clear his throat loudly. You looked over and saw him glaring straight at Wriothesley. They stayed like that for a while, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Whatever it was, it seemed intense. You were quite glad that glare wasn’t directed at you.
“I believe Wriothesley would like to share that information with you now,” Neuvillette announced after Wriothesley looked away with a sigh.
“Does he?”
“I do,” Wriothesley confirmed, the slightest bit begrudgingly. “Me.”
You waited for him to say more, but he didn’t elaborate. 
You blinked. “What about you?” 
“Are you going to make me say it?” Wriothesley let out a strangled laugh, grabbing a biscuit to munch on himself. “When I overheard you and Neuvillette talking about your crush, I was hoping it was about me.”
You blinked. “Why about you?” 
Neuvillette made a strange noise as a book fell off his desk. He cleared his throat. “Pardon me.”
You barely had time to wonder if he was okay before Wriothesley finally responded.
“You really don’t make things easy for me, isn’t that right, princess?” Wriothesley said with a helpless smile. “I hoped you were saying such sweet things about me, since I would say equally sweet things about you.”
With your stomach turning at both the pet name and his admission, you managed to say, “And if I were to tell you it really was about you?”
“That would make me a very happy man,” he said, unable to contain his delight. “Who wouldn’t be happy to hear the most beautiful and caring person they know is interested in them as well?”
You heard Neuvillette tap his foot impatiently in the background, but you ignored him. You and Wriothesley were having a moment here. 
“So, you’re saying you like me, too?” you asked, not wanting there to be any chance of a misunderstanding. The two of you made it this far, you couldn’t let it fall apart now.
“I like you very much,” said Wriothesley with a nod. “And I have something to take care of at the Fortress this week, but when we both have time next week, perhaps we can celebrate with a dinner. Without Neuvillette there.”
“Please, without me there,” Neuvillette chimed in, his arms folded as he sat in his chair.
You laughed, standing up and brushing the imaginary dust off your pajamas. “All right, I can take a hint, Neuvillette. I’ll help you clean up before I go. And Wriothesley…” 
“Hmm?”
You met his gaze and the corners of his eyes crinkled. You fought off a giggle as you returned Wriothesley’s smile, an overwhelming feeling of happiness filling you. “It’s a date.”
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cordeliawhohung · 2 months
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Again same anon, no need to like post this one BUT the whole cig shotgun thing, i also think that he wouldn’t want her to inhale the smoke. He’d make her exhale it after holding it for a second or two—let her get the taste. “Can’t have you doin shit tha’s bad for ya, you already overwork yourself.” And perhaps he’d hold her jaw while he holds it to her lips.
Okay bye now I will spare you my devious thoughts
you sent this ages ago sorry but i was going through my inbox (sorry there's a lot) and i am just-
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"Can I try?"
Simon nearly jumps out of skin at the soft whisper of your question. His neck snaps over his shoulder, taking in your tired form standing in the doorway, hands rubbing at your eyes. The cool summer breeze pulls at your nightshirt; it does nothing to hide the swaying parts of you that dance beneath the fabric as your bare feet trot against the cool cement of the balcony. Dark shadows dance across your face as you blink, waiting for your answer.
"Hmm?" he asks.
"Your cigarette," you clarify.
With the way his brows draw together, you would have thought the item had magically formed between his lips and he hadn't realized it until you pointed it out. Embers glow and flicker as he takes it into his fingers, making sure to hold it away from you as you lean against the railing next to him.
"You wanna try?" he asks.
You shrug. "Never have before."
Mulling your proposition over, he bites the insides of his cheeks as he studies you. He always enjoys when you're like this. Half awake and still trying to fight off thick prostration. Your eyes always seem to glimmer more. They dance in the moonlight as you stare at him, tongue wetting the inside of your lips. He swallows as he takes in the sight of them, so soft and sweet. Figures maybe he wouldn't mind putting something between them.
"Alright," he relents. Surprised, your eyes widen as you tilt your head, not having expected him to give in so quickly. He raises the cigarette, plumes of smoke traveling in its wake, yet he refuses to hand it over. "But don't inhale this shit, yeah? Holdin' it in your mouth'll do plenty. You're already workin' yourself half to death, don't need to speed that up."
Nodding your head in agreement, he finally pushes the cigarette toward you, but he still won't hand it off. Instead, he situates it so the filter faces you, and gently brings it to your lips, spoon feeding you the nicotine high himself. Warm fingers hold your chin steady, trying to keep the ash from falling on you. Eager lips wrap around the filter, and his eyes become inky as he soaks up the sight. Your lips hollow, dragging the smoke into your mouth, and you hum as the flavor washes over your tongue.
He recoils the moment you start coughing, puffs of smoke expelling from your mouth too fast to keep shape. His titter is slightly jeering as he shakes his head, shoving the stick back into his own mouth as you attempt to catch your breath.
"What'd I tell ya?" he chuckles.
"How do you keep doing that when it burns so bad?" you wheeze.
"Lot'sa practice, sweetheart."
As it usually does this late into the night, Simon's mind begins to wander. He thinks about that delicate sheen on your lips, how prettily they parted for him, and he feels that heavy libidinous ache swell deep in his stomach. There's a feeble attempt to hide his growing desire, and he smothers it with a quick drag just as your coughing begins to dwindle.
"C'mere," he prompts, head motioning for you to come closer.
Sucking in a breath of fresh air, you comply happily, pads of your feet slapping against the ground. Simon pushes himself away from the railing, standing tall as he brings his free hand up to your face. He relishes the softness of your skin underneath the thick callous of his thumb as he presses on your bottom lip.
"Open."
Lips parting, you watch in awe as he takes a long drag, eyes never leaving you for a second. He leans forward, mouth full of smoke as his lips hover above yours and then blows. Gently, it seeps between your teeth and fills your mouth, coating your skin in a haphazard mess. Your warmth pours into him as he holds your jaw steady, and it's then that he realizes he can't hold back.
Sparks flying, his discarded cigarette flies through the air as he flicks it away, lips crashing against yours just as it collides with the ground. Between the nicotine high and the taste of you, it can't be helped when his tongue breaks free from his mouth and into yours. You hum, the vibrations cutting straight into his chest as you wrap your arms around him. That hum quickly turns into a giggle as you prematurely end the kiss.
He huffs as his nose knocks against yours, silently begging for more. Withholding it from him, your hips begin to sway.
"Gonna come back to bed?" you ask.
Before he replies, he steals a quick kiss as his hands wander down to your hips. He pulls you closer, body colliding against him and his growing want.
"I'd never say no to that."
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Text
HOW SHIFT USING THE GATEWAY TAPES (UPDATED)
Hey, I want start off to apologize. I'm so sorry for bringing awareness to the tapes and then not clarifying on what to do or how to start. I did try to answer every question I can. I did post a guide a while back but Im still remastering it
IMPORTANT VOCAB
F10- body asleep and mind awake
F12- having your consciousness in the universe and expanded
HOW TO START:
So first off you need click on drive. Once you open the drive you will see tapes.
Before staring the tapes you NEED read a MANUAL. So if you look at your bottom left corner. You will see a PDF and it will have a picture of a old man. He's name is Bob. The creator of the tapes. I love Bob.
Once you click on the tape. You scroll down and you see titles. These titles are the titles of the tape in the folders that your going to use. At the bottom of the titles, there going be a discription. These discription tell you what the tapes do but also how they work and what you need to do during those tapes. Once your done your ready to go
STEPS
Step 1: open the drive and you will see the folders of tapes. ‼️DO NOT USE ANY OTHER AUDIO EXPECTED THE DRIVE. YOUTUBE COMPRESS THEM AND MAKE THEM NOT WORK‼️
[GATEWAY TAPES DRIVE ](https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/mobile/folders/1vZJg5oJvfYVwWryJh05pfkZTV0cnd026)
Step 2: click the bottom far left corner. It's a Manuel and has a picture of a old guy smiling (bob)
Step 3: find the title of the tape your going to use. Read it carefully and know what's going happened and what to do
Step 4: go to discovery and play the first tape. Don't fall asleep! Be awake during the tapes!
Great! Keep doing these tapes for each tape. Each tape you must do it 3 times or more. So you can get familiar with it. BUT MOST IMPORTANT IF YOUR NOT READY TO MOVE ON OR YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED KEEP DOING. THAT'S OKAY, SHIFTING IS ALWAYS GOING BE HERE SO DONT RUSH
‼️PAY ATTENTION TO THIS PART‼️
Once you reach Tape 3- advanced F10. There's a trigger that YOU MUST MASTER. The whole point of discovery is to train your brain to be awake and body asleep.
Now continues the normal steps like the other but this time. You need keep doing it until your able do It without the tapes. This is very important because when your trying reach F12(the goal). You need to be in F10 first and master It already
After that, you NEED to do the other tapes like the normal steps. Because the 4 tape is to have fear go away and if you blockages. The 5 is for awareness while you sleep and 6- free flow- is to freestyle
‼️Make sure to let go any expectations of these tapes because this will hold you back! Put your expectations and your needs in the energy box!‼️
But you can go to F12 tape.
F12 tape is next to discovery. Know as Wave 2. A lot of people ask why only that tape and not the others. Well! If you do F12 tape and in beginning bobs explains that after F12 tape. Those tapes are TOOLS. Those tools involved with manefisting, remote viewing, answering questions etc (I recommend you to check it out)
So the thing you need to do is master F12 and then shift!
Tips and questions
Q: what are gateway tapes?
A: here's some recourses that explains it way more better then I ever could
[gateway tapes ](https://youtu.be/46E_FX-KxZ8?si=yV8dqgoBdcNJXclD)
[Gateway tapes CIA EXPLAINED ](https://youtu.be/HOFq3ruef7I?si=JbwpcgnZ9rrbGyyz)
Q: can I shift at F10?
A: yes you can. It's possible but it's not really meant for that. Its more of SATS approach if that's what you're looking for because F10 is mind awake and body asleep
Q: how many times do I listen to it
A: as many times you feel like. I personally listen to it 3-4 times a day but only because I'm in summer break. Whatever works in your schedule
Q: how do I know I'm in F10?
A: your body is heavy and your limbs are numb. Your body is supposed to be asleep. Many people reported that the hear themselves snore. Me personally, my breath is non-existent and my chest is numb in away. Or like barely there. Trust me you will know. Ofc this doesn't mean you can't move you body at all. You can move your body in F10 but need the WILL to move your body. It can be different from everyone
Q: I tried it couple of days, why is it working?
A: first off, you need patience. This is practice. It's like a baseball player wanting to be the best pitcher in the world but they throw the ball couple of times and then when it's not right. They run and cry in there room. You need take the tapes seriously not half ass it and be PATIENT. Don't rush things. That's the worse thing you can do because you will miss important cues and it's going be all bad.
Q: I keep falling asleep why is that
A: your brain and body is not used to it. Your brain isn't normal active. Its active but it's going through your sleep cycles. So having your brain be in vibration state of being awake and your body being sleep cycle. It's going get confused because it's not used to it. That's why the tapes train it.
Q: do I need earphones or headphones when listening to tape
A: yes, you need ones that aren't noise cancelling and make sure that you hear bob in your right ear. Only because there certain sounds that play in both your ears for your brain to sync.
Q: are these tapes actually going make me shift
A: yes, I believe it will. The only reason why I personally believe that anyone can 1000 percent shift because these gateway tapes were run by scientist and actually doctor in fields to perfect it. Not only that CIA agents use these and it's approved by the CIA. There actually evidence and research done. It isn't like some random teenagers made a method up in there room. These tapes are designed to open the human mind and Bob himself even talked to alter version of himself with these tapes.
‼️MOST IMPORTANT TAKE‼️
Now, you gotta have open mind and believe it too. You cant go in the tapes with a negative mindset and expect a beautiful outcome. This is in every method you used..not only the gateway tapes. If you believe it won't work because whatever the case then obviously it won't work because your mind is going block everything and not letting it's self In general. This is life In general.
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moonstruckme · 3 months
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Hey Mae! I love your work sm. I’m submitting a request because right now I’m dealing with some really crazy friend drama and while I’m mostly handling it okay it’s still a lot! Your fics bring me a lot of comfort- especially your James fics- and I was wondering if could do James comforting reader because of friend drama.
Totally okay if you can’t and thanks for listening either way!
<3 M
Thanks for requesting M, hope your drama is causing you a bit less stress these days! <3
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 838 words
“And when I asked her she said she wasn’t upset, but I could tell, you know?” You’re sitting with your hands trapped under your thighs on the kitchen counter and your back against the cabinets as James makes a sauce for your pasta on the stove. 
Your boyfriend makes a dissatisfied tsking sound. “Upset in general or upset with you?” 
“Upset with me,” you clarify, sighing. It’s been an exhausting afternoon. “She gets like this sometimes. She’s all huffy and snaps at me whenever I say anything, but if anyone brings it up she’ll say she’s fine. I don’t know why it always seems to be me.” 
James makes a sad face, kissing you on the cheek. “M’sorry, lovie. Then what happened?” 
“Then, we were just, you know.” Your fingers wiggle underneath your thighs, wanting to fidget with something, but you’d put them under there in the first place to keep from picking at your hangnail. It’s not unusual for you to come home from a hangout with your friends eager to gossip with James, but today’s weighing heavily on you. “We were just walking around, trying to find somewhere to eat. Everyone else was acting like everything was fine so I was trying to go with it, but any time I talked she’d snipe at me like I was being so annoying. And I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong.
“After a while, one of the girls asked if she was alright, and she said she was, but then almost right after that I was talking to someone else and she got really pissed off with me—I don’t even remember what it was, honestly, something about me asking a dumb question—and I just—I completely snapped.”
James looks over at you, eyes widening slightly behind his glasses. You look down at your lap.
“I don’t know, I don’t think any of the things I said were wrong, but I feel—” Your voice tightens and thins, tears pressing at your eyes. “—really bad for raising my voice like that. And now she won’t speak to me.” 
“Oh,” James sets down his spoon, “baby.” 
“Uh oh,” you joke weakly. James only calls you baby when he’s feeling particularly sorry for you. 
He leaves his sauce to simmer, nudging your legs apart and stepping between them. His hands land on your lower back, his head on your shoulder. You slip a hand free from under your leg to cup the back of his head, fingers sinking into downy curls. 
“I’ve made things awkward for everyone now,” you say in a small voice. “She’s always angry, but I was the one who shouted. It’s my fault there’s conflict.” 
“I really doubt anyone sees it that way,” says James. His palm that’s higher up on your back is rubbing up and down consolingly. “Anyone who knows you knows that you’re not one to shout. But we’re all bound to get a little riled up sometimes, and by the sound of it you’d just reached the end of your tether, lovely. I think your friends will understand that.” 
“I don’t know.” You began this conversation hoping to keep up a light front, but you’re starting to sound terribly glum. “I know they’ll all be upset if we don’t make up. I think I need to apologize.” 
“Why not her?” 
“She won’t do it.” 
James sighs, leaning back so he can see you and cupping the side of your neck. His thumb strokes your cheek. “If you think that’s what you need to do,” he says frownily. “I just want to say for the record, though, that you haven’t done anything wrong. She sounds like she deserved to be shouted at.” 
You feel a little bit lighter after one of his world-class hugs, your lips tugging upwards. “Oh, yeah? And that’s your totally unbiased opinion, is it?” 
“Totally,” he swears, lifting three fingers in a salute. “Scout’s honor.” 
You let out a little laugh and pinch him on the bicep, where there’s ridiculously little yield. James grins and retaliates by catching your hand, holding it captive as he leans forward, kissing you soundly. 
“You were never in boyscouts,” you mumble against his lips. 
“Could’a been.” He kisses the corner of your mouth, your chin. “I like to consider myself an honorary member.” 
“Pretty sure that doesn’t count.” 
“Oh? And how would you know?”
James’ face is up close and personal with yours, eyes flirty and hand placed intentionally high on your thigh. If you blinked, your eyelashes would be centimeters away from brushing his glasses. 
“You’re distracting me,” you say. 
He smiles, half sheepish. It seeps through your warming skin. “It was working, too. Let me keep trying?” 
You roll your eyes, but you know James can see the grin you’re fighting to suppress. “Sure, fine.” 
“Excellent.” He dots a quick kiss on your chin and squeezes your thigh before stepping back in front of the stove. “Get the pasta out for me, please, lovie? I can hardly ravish you on an empty stomach.”
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whatswrong7 · 3 months
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Part 2 of this Part 3
Even weeks later, Simon couldn't stop thinking about you. How you looked so peaceful and proud at the same time, happy with yourself for doing something right for once. He wondered if you would look the same in his bed, smirking cockily after convincing him to skip his morning worko-what the hell.
He was Ghost, a lethal member of the 141 task force. He didn't have crushes, and he definitely didn't daydream or stare at them. He just noticed an eyelash on your cheek. From across the room. He would never admire some young, inexperienced newbie! Sure, you did a good job helping out Soap, but you were otherwise completely useless.
Is what he told himself as he kept his sunglasses on, so you wouldn't see the adoration when he stared at your colored eyes, your lips he wanted to feel on his skin, and just every part of you he wanted to keep to himself. These feelings were a mystery to even him. Had he always felt this way about you? Maybe he just needed to see you all sweaty and tired after a mission to get his blood pumping, and that must've given his head permission to keep that memory at the forefront of his mind at all times.
Either way, it didn't matter. He needed you now. He wanted to see that cocky smirk on your face when he gave you what you wanted. Wanted to fluster you, see the pink come back to your cheeks, and not because you were out of breath. Well, he also wanted to make you out of breath but thats not the point.
The point was he walked up to you at base after another short term deployment. Neither of you had any friends or family waiting, so you were taking your sweet time putting together your stuff.
"Private" He said gruffly. You looked up at him with wide eyes, and his mouth went dry, but he continued.
"Yes, sir?"
"Are you free tomorrow night?"
"Ye-sorry?”
"You heard me right" You blinked quickly, evidently curious of where this was going.
"Yes, sir, I'm free tomorrow night."
"I’ll pick you up at 9pm, wear somethin formal." He blushed behind his mask as he quickly clarified, "This is not mandatory, and you are free to back out at any time"
You grinned in understanding. "Oh, I'll be there. But shouldn't I have your number, for any further questions?" You asked with wide, playful eyes, handing over your phone.
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flowersforbucky · 4 days
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logan howlett x reader
a late night thunderstorm and some questions about what never was and what could be.
a/n: i don't even know what came over me, i just needed to jot this down and get it out of my system. i'm so fond of the "reader being in love with original logan and then meeting worst logan" trope. may or may not expand on this soon!
warnings/tags: not explicit but mdni, tension and longing, minor angst, no use of y/n, 750 words
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“How well did you know him, exactly?”
You knew the question would come. Truthfully, you're surprised he hasn't asked already. And yet, you're still not prepared to answer.
You pour yourself another glass of wine, hoping for an ounce of liquid confidence to get you through this conversation.
The oven timer begins to beep, nearly inaudible over the roar of the wind and rain that beats down against your windows. He watches you from his seat across the kitchen island. Not in a way that makes you feel pressured to respond - there's patience and understanding in the way he looks at you in the dim lighting of your small kitchen.
Well enough to know he deserved more than this life ever gave him.
You think these words, but keep your mouth shut, pursing your lips. Instead, you turn to the oven behind you and quiet the incessant beeping before sliding your hand into an oven mitt and pulling out the roast chicken and vegetables that you had thrown together.
“You don't have to answer that,” Logan says into the thick silence. “I'm sorry. Let's talk about someth–”
“No, it's okay,” you stop him, bracing yourself on the edge of the counter. You're still turned away from him, but you can feel his stare on your backside. You reach up to a cabinet above you, pulling out two plates before turning back to face him.
“I want to talk about him. Really, I do. It's just been a long time since I have.”
He watches as you divide up the food and slide a full plate across the island to him. You can't help but feel a sense of deja vu - you've cooked for this face before. You've served these crinkled hazel eyes this exact meal before, what feels like a lifetime ago.
But for the person sitting before you, this is a first.
“We were close,” you finally continue after clearing your throat, your voice rising an octave on the word close. “Close enough for me to miss him very much.”
You don’t elaborate any further. You don’t tell him of all the almosts and what ifs that run through your mind at the mere mention of his name.
“Is it difficult for you?” he asks in a hesitant voice. “To look at me and see him? To be near me?”
You don’t answer right away. You grab your plate of food and walk around to the other side of the counter, to join him where he sits. You pull out the barstool next to him and sit so that your body is angled towards him. He puts his fork down, giving you his full attention.
The air in the room suddenly feels heavy. You’re close enough that his leg brushes against the side of yours and a shiver runs down your spine.
“Yes,” you admit in a whisper. “It is difficult. But at the same time, I can’t help but want it.”
You can’t quite bring yourself to say you.
“I felt guilty for it at first,” you continue. He watches you with more understanding than you feel you deserve. “For wanting to be around you, to get to know you,” you clarify. “It felt like I was just looking for him in you, and that wasn’t fair to you.”
He extends a hand to where your own rests on your knee. He covers yours with his and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth and familiarity and you selfishly hope that he doesn’t pull away.
“But then I got to know you, and I learned all of the ways that the two of you are similar, but more importantly, I learned all of the ways that you're different. And the differences didn't matter to me. I still wanted to be around you just as much. Even more.”
You take your free hand and place it on top of his. You stare down at where your hands are stacked together, tracing a thick vein from his knuckle to his wrist with the tip of your finger.
“I never told Logan how I felt about him. He and I.. missed our chance to be anything more than what we were. I don't want to make that mistake again.”
He brings his other hand to your face, cupping your jawline in his palm. You can't help but melt into the touch. He tilts your face up, forcing you to meet his gaze.
“You don't have to.”
•••
thanks for reading 💕💕
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caffichai · 4 months
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Food Bank Fundraiser
Hi everyone!
First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who's been leaving such nice tags/comments on stuff I've posted! It's been really encouraging (o^▽^o)
Anyway, I think we all know it's very dark days on the economic front for many of us. So as such, I'd like to help raise some funds for Food Banks Canada! In exchange for you making a donation to the food bank, I will draw a character suggestion!
I know this is not really the sort of thing I normally do or post here but... many folks are struggling to put food on the table right now, and the food bank is a source of support for many and provides an absolute necessity. I've seen many people struggling in my own city, and food security has become an even bigger issue than it already was in the last couple of years with the food bank struggling to keep up with demand. Of course, food security is an issue across the whole country that's putting a huge strain on food banks, with nearly 5% of the entire population making use of food banks monthly, and 23% of the population reporting food insecurity (CBC, 2024; Global News, 2024). Unsurprisingly, those who are already most disadvantaged suffer the effects of food scarcity even more (Statistics Canada, 2023). To make matters more desperate, Canada's food bank system is on the brink of collapse (CTV News, 2024).
I know this isn't going to something big enough to change the world or anything, but being able to make even a small impact for individual people is important too!
✨Incentives✨
Of course, I'm sure people aren't just in it for a reward, but rewards make things all the sweeter, right?
For those who want to contribute, I'll take a character suggestion and add it to a poll (depending on the number of contributors, it may be split up into multiple polls), and then I'll draw as many as I can from top to bottom ranking! If you contribute, please send me a DM with your donation receipt and your character idea! They won't necessarily all be drawn in the same style, and they'll be done according to how much time I've got. (I know that commissions are probably the biggest incentive, but realistically, I struggle to get them done quickly and they're probably not that affordable to everyone)
If you prefer SFW or NSFW, you can let me know (But NSFW will be posted to Cohost). If you make a bigger contribution, I'll reach out to you and ask if you wanna see more specifics/details in your piece. How's that for sweetening the pie? :3
For those who can't make a donation (which is completely understandable), simply spreading the post is also helpful, and I appreciate that greatly as well!
Don't forget that giving a donation allows you to get a tax break based on the amount donated as well!
Alternatives?
If you'd rather donate to your own local food bank, that's great too! You can DM me and send me a pic of your receipt and I'll still add your suggestion to the poll.
If you REALLY want a commission, you can also DM me and I'll do my best to fulfil it! I won't be taking commissions for this till/if there's at least a couple of items on the poll though. The proceeds will go to my own local food bank. The commission will be done later though, and may take some time to fulfil. I take payment only after starting.
When do we start??
I guess once there's a good number of poll options? I have no idea how long that will be, but rest assured I'll keep you updated!
Where do we contribute?
You can make your donation to Food Banks Canada! They really need it!
Alternatively, you can make a donation to your local food bank or equivalent charity.
Other Questions?
Feel free to send me a message or an ask! I'll get back to you ASAP. If I need to include more details or clarify something, let me know! It's my first time doing this!
TL;DR
I want to help raise money for food banks! Anyone who contributes to Food Banks Canada (or donates to their own local food bank or equivalent charity) can DM me with their receipt and give a character to add to the poll. Poll characters will be drawn in order of their ranking, as many as I can manage, over as long a period of time as I can manage!
No pressure to donate of course, I just figured this would be a fun way of raising a bit of money to help out, and allow us to donate more than what I personally can
Current Contributor Count: 13
Suggested Characters:
Imagine your beloved, obscure or popular character here on this poll list! Oooooooh, how lucrative :3
Total funds raised:
780.36$!!!
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veilkeeper · 10 months
Text
thoughts on the astarion-halsin polymance
i know some people dont like the halsin polymance specifically if the PC's other partner is astarion but. i want to talk about it. because i think maybe a lot of people have come to conclusions without seeing the scenes in question for themselves. so let me give a different perspective.
disclaimers: *i know a lot of people ship/hc this polymance as a triad, but for the purposes of this post i'm talking specifically about the "hinge" dynamic we see in-game thx. **also i got the halsin romance trigger before completing astarion's personal quest, so this post is talking about that perspective, and all quotes are from those conversations. ***i respect people who dont play this route. you're allowed to play this game however you want. the purpose of this post is to discuss the canon, in-game text and how it supports the astarion-halsin polymance as a viable and healthy path for these relationships, with nuance and respect to astarion's personal issues. this is not meant to convert anyone, but it is meant to clarify and provide additional context that i feel is largely missing from a lot of discussions about how the polymance is "bad", unilaterally.
let's start with halsin, because i think he's the easier perspective to tease out here, given that he really leaves nothing to the imagination. he's incredibly earnest and open, and will happily describe his perspective on non-monogamy right out the gate. as he says...
The wolf mates for life, but the bear roams free and partners as its instinct dictates. I need to stay true to my nature, and you to yours.
now, to get ahead of potential backlash here... if you haven't spent a lot of time with halsin, particularly if you've never flirted with him, that line may imply that he's a "player". he is not. given the context of the PCs interactions with him up to this point (and how he treats the relationship after, if you confirm the romance), halsin is deeply devoted, and has really strong feelings for the PC. it's really sweet, i highly recommend romancing him, either as a polymance or solo.
what he's describing here is a perspective of cultural non-monogamy. that he believes his feelings are not diminished by having multiple relationships at the same time, and he expects that if the PC agrees to a relationship with him that they will respect his freedom to pursue others when/if such feelings arise, just as he will respect the PC's freedom to continue and/or pursue other relationships as well. it's a really succinct and frankly unexpectedly respectful negotiation of the terms of a polyam relationship.
and that respect is evident from the get go. if you've never seen this conversation, it basically opens with him saying "hey, i have these feelings about you, i was wondering if you maybe felt the same," and if the PC says that they do, he immediately acknowledges the existing relationship and tells the PC that they can't move forward without consent. and you cant; speaking to halsin again just has him ask the PC if they've spoken to their other partner yet. at every turn, halsin is incredibly respectful of the PCs other partner, he never diminishes that relationship, nor does he expect the PC to ever place him above that relationship. he even says:
Indeed, I am but one of your lovers. You and I should seek happiness, wherever it lies. You are all I want, but I will not hoard you to myself.
he makes it very clear from the get-go that he has no designs on the PC's other relationship and that he is more than happy to take whatever they want to give him.
which leads me to my overarching point: astarion is consenting to this dynamic specifically because the other person in question is halsin.
and we know this for a few reasons. first, because.... mechanically in game, he's the only person you can romance at the same time as astarion. while astarion mentions at various points that he is fine with "arrangements", generally speaking, every other potential romance partner results in a "you have to choose one of us" conversation. the reason astarion gives for why the PC has to choose varies, i believe, but since i don't have the dialogue on hand (i have been faithful as hell in my playthrough) i won't speculate about those conversations.
however, we also know that astarion is consenting to an arrangement with halsin specifically because of this line:
The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement. Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair.
which is interesting, isn't it? hold onto this one, we'll circle back to it later. and then of course, the other line we need to discuss from astarion here is the famously controversial...
It's not because… you know… we haven't… in a while?
so this is where i get into the potentially controversial take that i have, because it's more nuanced than arguments i've seen on either side of the pro-/anti- polymance debate. but basically i think that astarion is... insecure. shocker, i know. but unlike some takes i've seen, i dont think this means he can't consent to a polyam relationship, i think it means that he has certain Conditions related to it, that he has decided have been met. and i think those conditions are as follows:
the PC's interest in halsin is not borne out of any deficiency of astarion's.
this is why he asks the famous question. he's insecure, and making sure that the PC's interest in halsin is not because astarion is failing to "satisfy" them, that it's not because he isn't enough. astarion has a lot of self-worth issues that he tries really hard to hide, and i think it would be easy for him to think that the PC starting another relationship could be a result of him being... insufficient.
for people who have never been in a polyam relationship, this is a thing. this is an important thing, and making sure all of your partners feel that they're valued and "enough" is an important part of navigating these relationships. astarion does the right thing here, by expressing his insecurity and asking for reassurance. and when the PC gives it to him, the relief is evident and he gives consent to the dynamic immediately. not because he's been coerced, but because he's been reassured.
PC: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment. Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.
the second condition is:
that he is still a priority
this is pretty self explanatory but since it's sort of the clincher for my whole argument here, i do have to say the quiet part out loud. i dont think what astarion wants or needs is to be the PC's only partner. he talks about "arrangements" on multiple occasions, i dont think he has a problem with sharing. what i do think he wants is to be the PC's primary partner. what he's consenting to, in my view, is hierarchical polyamory, to use the proper term. as in, the PC can fool around with whoever they want, even have feelings for other people, so long as they always come back to astarion. he needs to feel like he is secure and valued above others as he values them above others. he needs to feel like the PC isn't going anywhere.
and that's why he consents to an arrangement with halsin, but no one else. because all of the other romance options, the origin companions, would want to be equal with astarion, they would want non-hierarchical polyamory. halsin, on the other hand, is all about taking what can be given and having a more fluid understanding of relationships. he doesn't care if he's #1, he cares that the PC cares about him, right now. no formal definitions or obligations required.
that's what astarion means when he says "the druid is unique." that's what he means when he says "he has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement." that's what he means when he says it will be a "harmless affair." because he knows halsin is never going to try to take the PC away from him. he knows halsin isn't going to be a threat to him and his status with his partner. and that's why he's comfortable saying yes, even though he says no to every other possible arrangement.
it's not because he was coerced. it's not because he doesn't know how to say no. it's because he feels safe. and that's what we want.
some additional notes while i'm here...
on jealousy: a lot of people hc astarion as the jealous type, as perhaps a little possessive, and i am also one of those people. it makes sense; he's a guy who hasn't had anything in 200 years, and the PC is the first person he's cared about like this. i can definitely see him being a little possessive and prone to jealousy. but stepping outside of the realm of fiction, jealous/possessive feelings are often the result of insecurity and in real relationships should absolutely not be used as a tool to control the behaviour of another partner. and, crucially, jealous/possessive feelings are a thing to be talked about and worked through, not tip-toed around. the presence of those feelings does not automatically mean that a polyamorous relationship is impossible, it just means there's another thing to talk about, and by astarion consenting to the PC having another relationship, he's pretty clearly saying he's willing to talk through those feelings and work on them.
on the ability to consent: i know that astarion doesn't talk about his feelings enough. but i truly dont think that this is a case of astarion saying yes when he means no. astarion can say no, even in high pressure situations he wasn't expecting. he says no to the astral-touched tadpole (rather firmly, i might add), he says no to sleeping with the drow twins, etc. the scene that most people use as proof that astarion cannot consent happens in a much different emotional context, with a lot of direct coercion, and is followed by astarion taking back personal control and dumping the PC. that is not what happens in this scene, when astarion is consenting to a polyamorous relationship. there is no coercion (in fact the PC can explicitly say "i wouldn't even consider it if it bothered you", and astarion expected the conversation, so he would have been able to prepare his thoughts and feelings ahead of time. at no point does he say no or even imply he's not okay with an arrangement with halsin.
on timing: ive seen some people say that they would be more okay with the astarion-halsin polymance if all of this was not be happening right now. i agree with that. ideally, astarion would have more time to adjust to his relationship before it was opened up at all. but because this is a video game, everything is happening during the events of the game. and because this is a video game, the events of the game are high pressure and wild and everything is happening all at once. i don't blame people who elongate the timeline in fan content, or who turn down halsin because they think its "too soon." thats actually very explicitly something halsin says when he initially propositions the player - that he hopes it isn't "too soon." however, astarion still consents (see point above), and relationships barely ever have good timing. one could argue that even the solomance with astarion does not have good timing, when considering astarion's trauma and recovery. so. we make do. and i think it would be... a disservice? to what is (in my opinion) really good polyam writing to just say "actually it's all terrible and icky because there's a lot going on right now" and dismiss it out of hand.
.......................and i think that's everything. thank you for joining me on this very long (oops) deep dive into this. a double thank you for reading all the way through if you don't like the astarion-halsin polymance. i hope i gave you a different perspective, even if i didn't change your mind. love ya <3
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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months
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Soooo I just got a new bed and it's too soft for me. And a friend recommended getting an extra firm mattress topper to try to make it firmer. I'm a bit skeptical (would firm on top of soft work?) and thought I'd ask the resident Internet mattress guru! :P
I was folding laundry when I saw this and literally stepped away and I sat down to answer. This is serious business.
Because there’s a lot of clarifying questions for this situation I’m gonna info dump. If this doesn’t answer please feel free to follow up.
So first: there’s a big misconception about “soft” beds. Beds are composed of two major categories: comfort and support. Soft comfort is great! So nice for joints. Soft support is terrible. So bad for backs.
A lot of people think soft beds in general are bad for your back and this harkens back to the very first commercial spring mattresses. The coils were all one solid interconnected layer, and if they weren’t stiff you’d end up slumped into the bed with no back support. (Not unlike soft sleep number beds- no bueno for spines)
After a lot of research people realized that individual coils standing up inside the mattress was way comfier and less bouncy for partners and bonus- could even feel softer while keeping back support!
There was a big campaign to help people realize their beds didn’t need to be stiff as a board because soft comfort layer beds could still give good back support! The soft was the cushioning on top, but the springs were still down there keeping spines aligned.
Then all foam beds hit the market but they still used the same premise. Soft on top, supportive underneath. But the dense underfoam was just as good as springs for back alignment.
But then dun dun DUNN arrived beds in a box. Now I have very negative views of any bed in a box. They use cheap fire retardants fiber glass, don’t last very long, but most damningly they don’t have good support because a foam light enough to roll up doesn’t have the density to support a spine long term.
On the subject of toppers: a topper is only ever a band aid, and one unlikely to fix your particular issue. People suggest toppers when a bed has caved in over time and a topper can only ever offer “comfort” not “support”.
The only situation a topper can fix is if a bed is too hard on joints. That’s it.
Now to your problem: when you say soft, does you back hurt from the softness? If yes, a topper will not fix it.
Some people don’t like how soft beds feel, like how they can make it difficult to turn or move around but! In this case I usually recommend they try it at least a month to see if they can acclimate because softer comfort helps reduce tossing and turning. A lot of people just aren’t used to it but like it with some acclimating.
If your soft bed came from a box: give up, it’ll only get worse, they don’t have back support and the soft support is a huge red flag.
If you’re unsure of how the bed is making your back feel low down flat on your back, even if that’s not how you sleep. A good bed should sink at your shoulders and hips, but push up at your lower back. This is the hallmark of good back support.
If instead of pushing back on you the bed let’s you slump into a curve, call it.
I hope this was helpful. I know it was a lot but there’s a ton of factors and beds are legitimately so important to people’s overall health. Good sleep is a scarcity and it’s worth finding the best bed you can.
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