#(I have a hard time distinguishing if someone is being serious or not so if this is an over clarification on my part then I apologize)

[predacon-carrion]

Thank you, I sincerely apologize for going off like that.. I just had moments where I really put things in retrospect. I may be, okay, but I'm definitely the paranoid type of person.. who worries an awful lot when I do give myself the time to sit down and think...

≈STS

It’s alright. We all have days when we aren’t feeling our best.

[justwinginglife]

may I request hoshina x reader where the reader is jealous because hoshina is not paying attention to her but more on okonogi:›

i just discovered your account and it's already my favorite

Omg I'm so honored to be your favorite, thanks so much! That makes me so happy, you have no idea. I will keep posting more!

You thought you had an understanding with the Vice Captain of the Third Division. You didn't have an official label for whatever this thing was between the two of you, but there was something, right? The chemistry between the two of you was undeniable, or at least that's what you thought.

You start to rethink every interaction you have ever had with Hoshina when you see him smiling and laughing and hanging on every word Okonogi is saying.

You grit your teeth as you watch.

Yesterday, he was just joking crassly about how good your ass looked in your combat suit and you'd retorted that it would look even better bent over for him, causing him to shut up as the blood rushed to his face and probably somewhere else too.

It was these kind of comments that you'd say to each other in passing that made you feel like there had to be some sort of connection. Or was it just shameless flirting that meant nothing??

You thought about the day before yesterday, when you'd gone out with Hoshina because your ex was harassing you and Hoshina felt the need to buy you a drink. Was that just him being a supportive teammate?

And then there was the time you injured your leg so he carried you all the way back to transport from the center of the battlefield in the middle of a fight, slicing down a safe path for the two of you. Was that just him being a good Vice Captain??

Goddamnit. He was making it really hard to distinguish what was platonic and what wasn't. Where was the line? Did the two of you have any lines? Any boundaries? You'd always felt the two of you were closer than anyone else and there was no uncharted territory for the two of you to cross into. But this, this was definitely new.

This feeling like you were losing him right before your eyes. Like maybe "crush" wasn't a strong enough word anymore for what you felt for him. You watch him run a hand through his hair as he smiles at her and you think "like" isn't even a strong enough word for the ache in your heart. You refuse to acknowledge what you might be feeling as whatever the two of you have might be finished before it's even started.

Your stomach turns at the thought.

You should be the one by his side.

You're not someone who begs, you're not someone who pleads, your ego wouldn't let you, but for a moment you feel like getting on your knees and telling him to look at you, to pick you, to choose you. Not her. Not anyone else.

You don't want to be another teammate, you don't want to be a casual fling, you want to be engraved into his skin, his lips, his heart. You want to be his air, you want to be his light, you just want to be his. You want him to want you. To need you. To desire you. To... love you.

You bite your lip. Fuck. You love him.

As this realization hits you, you can't stand there and watch anymore. You march over to him, yank on his arm, and -to both his and Okonogi's surprise- you drag him away with you until you're in a different room, just the two of you.

"What just happened?" He asks you, still stunned.

"You're looking at another woman and it's not me." You say simply, though you feel embarrassed at how juvenile and immature that sounds.

He laughs. "Jealous, love?"

He's just messing with you but you're more serious than you've ever been in your entire life. "I am, in fact."

He hears the tone in your voice and swallows as he realizes the two of you are finally about to have it out. "And... why is that?" He asks slowly, eager to hear your answer.

"Because I want you. And I feel like you want me too. Or am I wrong?"

He gulps. "I... uh..."

"Tell me. When you flirt with me am I just another woman? When you hold me, let me cry to you, let me lean on your shoulder, am I just a friend? When you give me advice, train with me in private, are you just my Vice Captain?"

His eyes lock onto yours. "No." He says firmly.

He takes a step towards you, though it looks like it takes some effort. "I... I do want you." The words come out softer than he'd wanted, he'd meant to declare them not mumble them.

"I want you." He says again, this time his voice doesn't waver, it doesn't falter.

Your heart is doing jump ropes in your chest.

"So do something about it then."

In an instant, he's closed the distance between the two of you, his lips a searing hot sensation against yours. He drinks you in like you're fresh water in a desert. You feel his desire, his passion, his love as he continues pressing up against you. He backs you into a wall and keeps kissing you hungrily, but it's not a lustful kiss, it's a desperate kiss like he needs to show you just how much of an effect you have on his soul.

"Be mine." He whispers against your ear, kissing it softly.

He doesn't have to ask. You're already his.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear Domestic Dragons Trust. I’m writing as I’m in need of some help with my newest companion.

I’ve recently acquired a pocket dragon from my elderly neighbors, they’ve recently gone to nursing home and couldn’t care for her any longer. She’s a beautiful little dragon with lovely rose scales. She’s been adjusting to the move well but there is one very serious problem with her, her weight. She’s extremely obese, to the point of looking like a giant pink ball. She has trouble walking and cannot fly at all. She’s always demanding food even just after being fed and worse yet is constantly demanding human food. How do I curb this food behavior and help her lose weight?

Hello!

How sad your neighbours were not able to take their little companion along, but how wonderful that you were willing to adopt her! We deal with a lot of dragons with various health conditions in our shelters and while the solution is rarely one-size-fits-all we can certainly give you some tips:

Focus on your relationship with your new dragon first. It's very good to read that she has adjusted well to the changes in her life, but dragon's tend to get very attached to their owners and it takes them time to switch those affections over to someone else. It's important that you and your dragon bond properly before you start extensively correcting her behaviour. Dragons hold grudges.

Provide enrichment and encourage exercise. Perhaps her former caretakers were not often able to play and travel with their dragon anymore. Excitement and movement are healthy for all dragons and will usually be met with much more enthusiasm than restricting their food. Different dragons like different activities, but you could try setting up a treasure hunt for her with her favourite hoard items, get her a dragon puzzle box, or build a nice lair for her in a hard to reach place. Taking her along with you when you go somewhere is a great way to add enrichment to her life as well! (Some people have enchanted toys for their dragon to chase, but we generally do not recommend this, because not all dragons are able to distinguish between a magically animated toy and actual living creatures.)

Encourage your dragon's natural diet. Most north-western pocket dragons are flying land dragons who are happiest and healthiest on a diet of fruit and cream. They are omnivores, however, and often end up liking human treats. You wrote that she demands human food a lot and that is generally not great for them. So we recommend starting out by giving her plenty of her natural diet while preventing her from eating your food.

With a bit of luck her adjusting to her new life with you, will already have a positive effect on her habits! If you are very worried and would like a proper plan to manage her health, we recommend making an appointment with an occult veterinarian once you have gained her trust. They will be able to give you more specialised advice.

Best of luck!

~ The Domestic Dragon Trust

[hambiichu]

I am your mentor, Kid

You sneer at Kaito's words and sarcasm; he is aware of how easily you may be teased, irritated, and stubborn while working under his supervision. You hope he gives some respect from it even though you know he's trying to lighten the mood of the stressful case you two handle these weeks.            

He's experienced these situations before, even the worst ones, so you can't hold it against him.Considering that some cases are more serious than yours, you can never truly understand what it's like to be in his position.Moreover, he has a strong poker face, making it hard to tell what his true emotions are.

But, of course, you looked up to him as a mentor, and despite working at the station for two years, Kaito treated you like a beginner, even though you had some experience; in his eyes, you were still his rookie under his supervision, which irritated you to the bone.

 And, oh, you also have a secret crush on him for two years; who can blame you when you find him attractive and intelligent? That is something to fuel your delusional mind on a daily basis.

You huff at his next statement remarks, twisting your body to face Kaito, the man grinning with delight. "Ugh, you always come up with those boring repeatedly remarks and sarcasm! Can't come up with anything new?"

 Kaito puts a hand to his chest in mock offense, feigning hurt. "Oh, so you think I'm boring, huh? Is that it?" He gives you a playful glare. "You wound me, kid."  

 He concludes, "At least I am funny and kept you entertained; it would be so boring without someone like me to lighten the mood."

You scoff, not expressing that his remarks have demoralised you, even though nobody else could make the case that has been bothering you so much any easier without him.

"You're not funny," You crossed your arms because you didn't want to stroke his ego any more. He knew you too well and that you were easily defeated but couldn't accept it.

"Ouch! You hurt my feelings," exclaims Kaito, mockingly gasping. "Oh! You hurt me, kid! The majority of people called me funny, and you're the first one who said I am not." He puts his hand on his forehead and makes a fainting motion.

"Damn right I am."

Kaito lets out a wheezing chuckle, and you smile with enjoyment at your hidden crush's laughter. Without him, life would be terribly boring, so you are grateful for the little time you get to spend with him. You stayed in line since you knew you had to act professionally because the station has tight dating policies, particularly for mentors.

Though it would be a waste of time to date during these times of crisis, you hope to move on with your secret crush, Kaito. For now, though, you're enjoying the friendly banter between you and him. Maybe in another life, you're dating him, who knows? Maybe is in your delusional mind again. 

Even though you saw signs from Kaito, you dismissed them, assuming it was just pleasant banter between him and his rookie. Since you are obvious, it makes sense that those who had a crush on you in the past rejected or turned it down, as you are unable to distinguished. 

Kaito twirls his pen between his fingers, his eyes lighting up for you. "But hey, you enjoyed having me around, kid. I know you, and you can't deny me."

Giving him a warm smile and a flutter in your heart, you said, "Yeah, I like having you around. I am lucky to have you as my mentor." 

"Lucky to have me as your mentor, are you now?" He pretends to grumble, but the corners of his mouth quirk up in a smile.

He leans back in his chair again, crossing his arms. "Maybe I should stop being so easy on you. Make you earn your place here, instead of just being my little apprentice."

He tries to keep a serious expression, but the twinkle in his eye betrays his lightheartedness.

"But really," he adds after a moment, his tone shifting from playful to earnest. "I'm glad you're here. Despite your smart mouth and tendency to drive me up the wall, you are talented and determined. And I wouldn't want anyone else at my side while solving these cases."

[yonemurishiroku]

Give me a list of all your Nico ships,I don't care how long it is or even who you ship him with,I want to know (Favourite Nico Ship?)

Yeah I want to know too.

No seriously. At this point I can't even keep track of my pairing list. It also doesn't help that I can practically eat everything that has Nico in it - regardless of... everything else. Jesus Christ.

But since you asked, I gotta try my best. I guess it's also a good chance for me to wrap up my own messy thoughts too---

Welp. Let's see. A list of Nico ships I actively contribute in because I have no idea what I know of at this point:

Solangelo, Jasico, Percico: have written about/ have plans to write about

Nico/Alabaster: tons of ideas and headcanons but have yet to decide on a writing plan. I could kill for them tho.

Thanatos/Nico: written one fanfic. Would love to write more but I run out of ideas

SELFCEST NICO. I'M SERIOUS FIGHT ME.

Eros (Cupid)/Nico: once unhealthily enjoyed making Love-you-like-an-enemy headcanons. Still do.

Erebus & Nico: I wouldn't say this as a ship... unless the term 'platonic ship' exist. I prefer to think of them as... soulmates? What do you call two lonely souls seeking each other's company?

Now to the pairings which I leech from others' content, meaning: consume but yet to contribute

Magnus/Nico: It exists and it's true and it's AWESOME

Pollux/Nico: There're at least two fics out there that had me in a chokehold

Child of Persephone x Nico ahsdjkahdkjahdka it was just one fic C'MON

Cecil Markowizt/Nico: Again. ONE fanfic. And it was Portuegeues.

Lukico

Or just platonic in general because there's potential and no one's seeing it so I'm taking it.

primordial god! chronos x ananke! nico courtesy of @avaetin. I fell so hard for it and I'm not even ashamed

Poseidon/Nico: all's Happy's fault. Like. Really.

Nipollo ajdhsajkda Brig shares the blame ok fine I'm crazy about it too and just bc Apollo's a hoe----

Anubis/Nico: thank you @/LapisLazuli13 on AO3

Dionysus/Nico but only if it's by @/robindrake93 on AO3. They have a distinguished figure for Dionysus and I'm neck deep in it

Minos/Nico: shout out to @/silenttoad on AO3 because it's the softest thing ever omfg 😭😭😭 Just for the record, their Minos is worlds different from the canon one. He's actually really nice.

Tons of crossover ships: Arthur/Nico (legitimately my RELIGION), Ciel Phantomhive/Nico,... That time I say Nezha and Nico could be friends. Like I don't... quite ship them but akdsaksaj this proves that you should never hope anything from me

I'm sure this is not all of them... I mean. I have read more. And probably forget a bunch...

I wouldn't say I have a favourite ship... well there're times that I would invest more in a specific pairing, but that doesn't mean I like other ships any less. I have 5 drafts for Jasico and then I have a Nicobaster week and then a Percico-marathon. Generally speaking though, I would say I usually... prioritize (?) the rarepairs. Since you know, the canon one and the more popular ones alr have people building the empire for them. I might be the only one invested in a Son of Persephone with Nico, for example, so I tend to gravitate towards it, in hopes of contributing a small brick for this little tent compared to their nation; or sometimes it's just because there's someone else more invested in me and their dedication fuels me (yes you @drksanctuary).

Anw I hope this gives you an insight into how wild of a being I am LMAO. I'm a proshipper. I have no qualms when it comes to enjoying fiction - as long as I enjoy it. Be free. Trust me.

As I've said, I forgo everything when it comes to Nico. He's my exception. He's always right. If he's wrong I have a few words to Rick------ jk lol or maybe not---

[neatfrog]

tldr: my feelings on romance in relationships and the idea of ‘romantic attraction’ in general

The older I get the more I wonder what the “line” is where something becomes romantic rather than platonic/friendly. What feelings count as ‘romantic’? I’ve felt the initial ‘infatuation’ that comes into play when I discover that I really really like a person - but I can become infatuated with people that I don’t want a ‘romantic’ relationship with too. Not to sound aro af (bc I don’t know if that fits) but wtf is ‘romantic attraction’ ? Like ‘oh I want to shower this person with my love in the form of poems and flowers and chocolates’ (sorry but those are the things I keep seeing portrayed as romantic).

I feel an abundance of love for my spouse, and my friends, but obviously the relationship I have with my spouse is different. I can’t perfectly pinpoint the difference except that there’s a sexual aspect that I don’t have with friends*, and they would by default be the person I put first above anyone else. But I’ve never been the type to be ‘romantic’ after I’m with someone a while and I know everyone says you have to ‘keep romance alive’, but is it not enough to love and appreciate that person and show them you care in more practical ways?**

*to clarify I’m not against having sex with my friends, and I’m willing to hug/cuddle with most of them but besides a couple of them they would see that as weird. so for me sex/physical touch doesn’t differentiate much from romantic vs platonic love, because I don’t see any reason why it should.

**and yes I know about the different ‘love languages’, mine and my spouse’s differ a bit but we’re working on it

Like idk all the ‘gestures’ I would do to show my spouse I love them (buying small things to give them bc it made me think of them and I know they’d like it, doing favors/cooking/etc for them, telling them with words (which I’m not always good at)) are stuff that I would also be willing to do for friends.

Sometimes ‘romance’ just feels like overplayed fiction that people use to (imo, quite needlessly) emphasize a particular type of relationship that is considered to be more ‘serious’ than anything you could have with friends.

I’m not dissing anyone who does find romance important (whatever you consider to be romance) but the more I think about it the more I struggle to distinguish what ‘romance’ is supposed to be. I love the idea in fiction, no problems there, but I think real life is so much more complex than that.

Maybe it’s just the type of person I am, I don’t feel the need for constant ‘grand gestures’ or being overly affectionate (this was different when I was just getting out of a terrible relationship and was starved for both physical and emotional intimacy).

And I hate when people suggest “well maybe you don’t love them anymore/enough” which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I don’t like the “relationships/marriage are hard work” narrative, because a healthy one shouldn’t be constant work, but there IS still some effort you have to make to have clear and honest communication. Nothing is easy and perfect 100% of the time, and there are gonna be bumps in the road (I say this after ~6 years in what I would consider a very healthy and happy marriage).

Anyway I’m genuinely interested in how other people define romance and where they draw the line to differentiate, because to me it all just seems really blurry. And I’d love to see how those who don’t experience romantic attraction or use that to define their relationships view the whole thing.

[angelgendered]

i'm in love and it's made me so inexplicably happy that they love me too, i can't over estimate that tbh! (like my love life has been tumultuous at best for years and being able to settle in with someone is so lovely. that regularity of contact daily, soft conversations, finding out little things about them as time goes on, feeling whole and complete and HAPPY!!) I genuinely think that along with it just being Hadley znd the fact that i adore them, the fact that we're both some variety of queer is healing, too. I don't have a trans joy tat for nothing, and being with someone who accepts you and your body and your bad days and good? Someone who accepts your transition journey for what it is, and affirms your gender and presentation at every damn turn? It's amazing.

i'm becoming more independent again after a major disabling event/illness/syndrome/whatever you wanna call it too, with the help of my wheelchair and mobility aids! (and it's so nice that my love is accepting of my need for help too. their only request? that when i'm using my chair, we can still hold hands. i mean. how lucky am i!!!)

i'm sorting out my mental health too! it's so much better than it was two years ago when i was dx'd bpd/eupd (tho my gp thinks i'm autistic and it could be a misdiagnosis as psych tablets don't help me much if at all even tho I'm on lots of them for dual nerve pai a nd psych reasons) and that's down to letting myself have a better life! i'm daring to hope things for the future where before i didn't see any future for myself two years ago. i thought i wouldn't make it to 33 and yet here i am, a month away from that and so happy i could burst

i still have bad days and low days but they're so much fewer than they once were. at one point it was all day every day and i felt overwhelmed and sad and paranoid and it's all melting away now. v slowly, but it is. i feel like my old self again, pre-angelique which was years ago but had such a heavy effect on my relationships that i couldn't hold anything serious down, and pre-cauda equina too. i will never physically be the same as before ces, but i'm beginning to think i can be who i was when i was like 21 or 19 and genuinely happy with my life.

i will likely never hold down a job. that's just something i have to accept. but. despite that one thing i can't change at all, i'm so happy lately!! i'm accepting my limitations and pushing where i feel able to. hadley has made me so happy, just by being there, and being them, and loving me in return. i feel so desired and loved and wanted despite never having really been the kind of person who believes that about themselves before now, (especially not where my physical body is concerned bc of dysphoria and dysmorphia but! hadley loves me for me and god, isn't that refreshing!!) my improving mobility and mood can't be understated too, while I'll probably always need a powered wheelchair cos I just can't walk long distances, getting around indoors is easier at least. I'm actually doing my physio since my ces too which is def helping.

Idk. All this to say that I'm so damn happy with my life and I never thought that I'd feel this way again. More than I did before, even, in fact. Things do get better. You will find a person, or people, who love you for you. Whether that's romantic, platonic, or you're someone who doesn't distinguish between the two. You'll find love of some kind. And it'll heal you. Along with gently pushing yourself to get better tbh. If I wasn't pushing to get better even before hadley told me that they love me, I don't think I'd have been in the heads pace to accept that and love them as wholly as I do. It's hard to love someone and accept their love when you feel broken, so its good that I was on the mend while we were becoming closer, too!

It's corny. But it does get better. I promise. From someone who thought they wouldn't be alive now. Trust me.

[sirianasims]

Chapter 9

The End of an Era

Welcome back to the Duchelli household, where we are hurtling towards the final stretches of our first generation.

I’m not sure what is going on here, but I think Johnny is showing off some yoga moves. On the sidewalk. To a stray cat.

His daughter Jodi is pretending she doesn’t know him in the background.

To increase the household income enough to send Cora off to university, everyone is working hard. On top of her criminal activities, Alex has taking up writing a few books and painting.

Cora is still single and has no real friends, so for Love Day, she gives a rose to her beloved sister.

Brielle and Shawn used Love Day to finally make it official. No one was surprised, as they have been together for a while.

Another visitor dropping by is one of Brie’s best friends, Ariana Broke. She’s one of Angela and Dustin Broke’s twin daughters.

This is Adriana, the other twin. Both twins are very close with Brie.

Cora has neither the time nor inclination for making friends. It’s all about homework.

After fulfilling his aspiration to be the greatest bodybuilder ever, Don is back to being a serial romantic. He still has strong opinions on cheating, and most of the women closer to his age are married, so the dating pool is honestly a little sparse. Therefore, he invites out the somewhat younger Evie Delgato.

Evie tells Don all about her college, and mentions how she isn’t planning on settling down in a serious relationship until she gets her career started, so she’s open to just having some fun.

And so, after “having some fun” in a back room of the bar…

… Don kisses Evie goodbye before she heads back to her dorm.

Cora has gotten a job as a barista, which means she has to get up insanely early. So she’s always tired and in a bad mood. Late night studying does not work well with 5 AM workdays.

After work and a nap, she barely has time to fall asleep in her breakfast before going to school.

Her barista job, however, has given her a newfound appreciation for coffee, and she manages to talk her parents into letting her buy a fancy coffee maker at home.

Much better! Hopefully this’ll get her up in the morning.

While out on the town one day, Don hears someone cry in the ladies room. Out comes Morgan Fyres-Munch. Don asks her what is wrong, and she tells him that her and Wolfgang’s marriage has been rocky for a while, due to the stress of them living with her aging parents, and he finally had enough and left her.

Always the gentleman, Don cheers Morgan up and invites her to join him for coffee.

They hit it off immediately, and Don does his best to make Morgan feel better about herself.

It doesn’t take long before Morgan starts flirting back.

And to no one’s surprise, they end up in a back room.

Cora is really doing nothing but studying. She’s trying to get accepted into the distinguished degree in Physics at Foxbury University, and that takes hard work.

One evening, the girls are given school projects as usual, and Brie brings, besides one of the Broke twins, this guy.

His name is Aidan, and it turns out he’s a bit of a nerdy loner. Maybe Brie brought him because he reminds her of Cora. They immediately bond over robots.

“Alex, babe, will you still love me when I’m old and wrinkly?”

“Of course, honey.”

And so, Don is the first member of the family to hit old age.

Cora, would it kill you to leave the voidcritters alone and attend your father’s birthday? Sheesh. Even Christie from his fitness club is more excited than you.

beginning / previous / next

[utterentropy]

TW: rant, reality shifting mention, suicide mention, I got angry man

People who say "fiction doesn't impact reality" or "people are so dumb, they think fictional tropes will hurt them in real life" have clearly never met a psychotic person before.

One time I stayed up well-past two AM panicking and shaking because I was afraid that everything I put Mike through was real and I actually made a real life person get tortured and actually made a real life person go through all those horrors.

I also one time got so into a paranoid episode that I thought I was being hunted down literally just by someone's freaky design that they didn't put a TW on.

Another time, I was in a fandom with an extremely popular comship and at one point the line between real from fake for me was so blurred that I was /srs going to kill myself because someone was mean to me about a ship and I couldn't distinguish in the moment that the ship wasn't a mockery of my suffering, and I'm like seventy-five percent serious when I mean I felt like that ship was personally attacking me because people romanticised the abuse so hard.

And another time I was so obsessed with a fictional character (it's Mike, I'm referring to Mike again) and so hateful of my "bad" personality that I wanted to reality shift (or, "consciousness" shift? Because I was a consciousness theory shifter?) and rewrite my personality to be that character because I hated my own personality so much, to the point my fantasies were consumed with being a reincarnation of the character and I drove myself mad before I got proper support/treatment.

All of this was while I was (mostly to fully) medicated, by the way. Schizoaffective doesn't fully go away, even if you're treated.

Considering the nature of reality-shifters, shipping wars, violent rejection of certain headcanons, the brutal debates over who's "the real character", and other groups I don't wanna invoke the wrath of, I'm like ninety-nine percent certain that we just can't separate real from fake.

And given the fact that I developed homicidal tendencies when I was in sixth grade simply because I got too invested in murderous characters while psychotic, I can only imagine how harmful the belief of "fiction doesn't impact reality" is towards people who literally cannot tell real from fake. You can't tell me you support people of all mental health backgrounds and then proceed to reblog a "your favorite character of all time would hate you if you don't xyz", or "people who don't understand fiction isn't real are dumb and–" what have you."

Do you realise how insensitive you are if you think that survivors of psychosis not being able to tell real from fake makes them "dumb" or "chronically online" or what have you? Sorry that you got the privilege of having a brain that isn't trying to sabotage you, at all times, and WILL sabotage you if you don't take tiny capsules full of chemicals EVERY DAY or so help you god.

I'd honestly rather have to tolerate someone who thinks all psychotic people are like, murderers or something than someone who believes "fiction doesn't impact reality". What do you do when someone is actually delusional, huh? Do you suddenly change your mind about "real from fake is common sense"? Do you shame the delusional person and make them worse, and then victimise yourself when they perceive you as a threat? Do you enable their delusions because they seem pretty to you in the moment (or you're just unqualified to all roses in a rosebush) and then when they suddenly do something gross you don't wanna play with them anymore? Do you call them stupid? Do you fetishise them? Hm?

And don't say none of these. Considered I've been around people like this while psychotic, I know exactly who would ruin me if I was psychotic and who would save my life.

"Fiction doesn't impact reality" is so stupid and probably hypocritical considering most people who I've met that say this's entire lives revolve around fiction. Shut up, and go talk to a psych teacher because they probably have a library of information you don't know.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Dark out, I’m cloistered inside where it’s warm because I’m built for triple digit temps and we have snow. Perfect circumstances for a little Late-Night Togashiposting! How could I muse on Oda’s relation to such an influence starting from Okiku and not delve into Hunter x Hunter’s biggest sweetiebaby? Introduced here in one of my favorite panels in the entire series. All that buildup about this horrific, otherworldly monster...then boom. Cute little muffin and all her stuffies. Cracks me up everytime. 

Clever introduction too. Symbolically looking like one of the dolls as a reflection of how her family sees her. Excellent contrast with the cutie that perks up when she sees big brother Kil. The idea of “something from afar” as a motif for a trans character given all too often we see Japanese hatemongers writing off queer identities as unsavory Western influence. Not to mention laying seeds for the Dark Continent down the line. Good stuff.

It shouldn’t be hard to guess why I might want to look at Alluka Zoldyck and Okiku side-by-side. We dipped a toe, but they deserve more. They deserve everything. If nothing else we have two high-profile trans characters slipped into some of the biggest ongoing series in Weekly Shonen Jump. They were both very prevalent in their arcs and served as a pillar of the core themes. We have some easy shared territory like exploring them through a sibling bond and this core element of duality. That’s barely scratching the surface though.

First, what we won’t do here. I’m not even going to try and judge which of these two is most baby. They’re both sweetie muffins, they’re both perfect, neither has done a single wrong thing in their lives. I want both as a little sister. Existing in the same series would spark a religion that finally establishes world peace. Eat your heart out Prince Tyson.

The angle I want to approach this from...ever seen much of the correspondence between JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis? It’s honestly as interesting as Narnia or Lord of the Rings. A masterclass on the philosophy of fiction. That’s how I look at these two. Dead serious. And I have for a long time, even before Oda’s glowing statements for Togashi’s exhibition. Looking at the landscape now though, these two are contemporaries even if Togashi’s the senior on paper. Because of his frequent breaks, One Piece has published more chapters than the elder’s three main series combined.

Stands to reason if an author wanted to do a big trans character they’d look at others in the genre. If I was doing so in 2018, Alluka would be a first thought. Hell, Punk Hazard is getting started right as the 13th Chairman Election is concluding. Especially since there’s potentially a similar dynamic getting from Miyuki in Yu Yu Hakusho to Rurouni Kenshin’s Kamatari. The latter pair were part of a big trend of similar characters, WSJ’s answer to a largely shoujo phenomenon. Which tracks with Japanese politics at the time as well as hitting the point new authors who grew up at the height of Stop!! Hibari-Kun’s popularity were coming onto the scene. 

Let’s start somewhere easy for the compare/contrast. Both of these little angels have a core relationship with a big brother we already knew by the time we meet them. I’m not going to say one is better, but I like One Piece’s take more and it plays into a way One Piece distinguishes itself from Shonen contemporaries including HxH. Alluka is wonderful, a great story that makes excellent use of the trans aspect as a parallel to the events going on. Much like we’ve said a lot about Kiku. Still...at the end of the day she’s an accessory to the 2nd most important character in the series. It’s about Killua being a good brother first and foremost. Trying to teach the main audience how to respect someone different. Likewise with the trans aspect just being handed to you up front. For all the ways HxH subverts common tropes, even with Alluka, letting Kiku lead her own story is awesome. Doing in a way that couches her in themes most women could relate to even better. You almost never get that and definitely not in something so mainstream. 

Why? Because it frees her from having to do as many beats about figuring her out. Killua is a nice evolution, being the one who gets his little sister compared to the rest of the family, but Kiku gets to just be her. None of her story is about being alien to begin with. It isn’t really that hard of a concept, getting to One Piece in general. Hunter x Hunter is subversive in many ways, I’d call it the more mature of the two series in terms of content...but it’s still at heart a “coming of age” story. One Piece isn’t. It’s a young man’s odyssey. That’s why we meet Koby in Romance Dawn. Why we don’t spend East Blue bumbling along as an apprentice. To show Luffy is past that kind of motivation and already the type of figure who can inspire others like Shanks did for him.

That same ethos is all over, and for Kiku it ends up being this awesome manifestation. Seriously...how many trans stories have you seen that aren’t about “finding your true self” or something like that? I’d call hers a step that can only happen past that; someone who has done that grappling with the past catching up to you. An adult who has found her own strength tested with regression, the danger of “becoming the mask” again. It’s Yamato and even Sanji who have more common beats you’d see for a trans narrative. Not trying to twist the knife...but that’s why I knew the former wouldn’t be tagging along at the end. Fans ended up telling on him; so much of the appeal was in “seeing him grow.” Great for most Shonen, not so much for One Piece.

Hmm...this is getting pretty long already. Oh darn, guess that means we have more LNTPs to come. I’ll leave you with this fun thought for now. Just consider the timing. Maybe it’s all one big coincidence. But like I said, Punk Hazard starts as Alluka’s arc is wrapping up. We were laying seeds that would matter for Kiku right from meeting Kin’emon. That’s not all though. Just...find it interesting where Togashi’s huge hiatus lines up with One Piece. Last chapter before released concurrently with the beginning of Act 2, Hiatus ends concurrently with Blackbeard showing up again. From one actress with him (Catarina) to another (Pudding). Is it a bit crazy to speculate on two authors collaborating on something funky? Hell yes, massive reach. But if any two would...

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I've seen this article shared on TikTok about Taylor Swift's Time POY, and wondered if you had any thoughts

https://www.masslive.com/reckon/2023/12/perspectives-it-was-a-disappointing-year-to-be-a-swiftie.html

I think it's a really good example of how presenting your fandom as political makes for really bad politics.

I find it incredibly arrogant and controlling for anyone to say "I really like this person and I have radical politics, and therefore they should too." If you've got radical politics you've got to accept that your politics are not the mainstream - and therefore you are going to be navigating a world and culture that doesn't agree with you. (In this case I don't think the person does have radical politics - and they just want Taylor Swift to make them feel good). I can never get over the immaturity of a fan position, where someone follows an avowedly apolitical artist (which Taylor was in 2013) and demands radical politics from them.

I don't think there is any serious political analysis or values in that article. It's what happens when people can't distinguish between their feelings and politics. It is incredibly self-centred - centring Taylor's destruction of the environment around the way fans felt about the reports - rather than the climate. The fact that fans are mean to each other on twitter doesn't tell us anything about Taylor's politics. And it's one of those discussions of Palestine that makes it very clear the reason people want an artist to speak up is because of the feelings they're having.

It is difficult navigating the world with truly radical politics. We are part of the world and culture and we seek joy and need to survive like everyone else. Work, relationships, and culture can all be hard to navigate when you are committed to believing a better world is possible and are committed to acting as if that's possible. But that's part of the work - and we have to do it ourselves. That is a collective 'we' - but it doesn't involve demanding the world change so we don't feel anything.

******

As far as the Time Person of the Year discourse - if anything that's even more fucking bizarre and disconnected from reality. The list of Time People of the Year is on wikipedia. I would really beg people to spend 30 seconds strolling the list before complaining that they chose Taylor this year.

The article basically argues that because she was disappointed in Taylor this year there's something odd or difficult about Taylor being Time's person of the year. Claiming radical politics and then expecting your beliefs to be reflected in Time is even more absurd than expecting them to be reflected in a popstar.

[atlas-affogato]

Hi! Firstly, I want to say that I really like your fanfics and headcanons. I mean, they're so profound and detailed, and your writing style is just awesome

I sent you an ask some time ago but I had some problems with Tumblr and it didn't reach you😩 btw the ghost who liked your posts, which you once made a post about, is me (I hope I don't sound like a creep)

So, I'd like to share some hcs of mine, too:

1. I see Ratso as a person who, despite looking childish outside, can be pretty serious. I imagine him wearing glasses while reading (I also think that he likes reading hard and scientific stuff). He looks like a university professor with the glasses on sitting in the armchair with a huge book about theoretical physics

2. He also may resemble a professor or a teacher sometimes. He likes helping enforcers' nephews with school assignments and homework, but he tends to explain things and wait for the boys to solve everything by themselves like a real teacher.

3. Chow definitely wore glasses when he was young. He was told to wear them by doctors when he was about 8 - 10 years old and it made him really upset. At first Chow even refused to wear them but he couldn't see anything from the blackboard at school and distinguish people around him. He didn't like glasses as he looked like a nerd with them on. Chow also got bullied for being puny and weak — so he started working out, but it didn't really help, unfortunately.

4. Finn and Ratso are extroverts while Chow is introverted. It took him some time to make their acquaintance and then become friends. Chow doesn't really communicate with other people from the Dark Hand while Finn knows everyone there. He likes small talks. Ratso is keen on chatting as well, but he's a bit shy so sometimes he feels awkward among new people. He just has an experience of people being rude towards him as they think he's acting like a child

5. It's totally not in canon, but I think Chow might have a tattoo on his upper arm. He got a tattoo right after finishing school to look cooler and have an "independent and giving no shit guy" vibe. Also he was a little bit into punk style back then, so he pierced an ear, maybe even two (I hc this not because I love punk guys, absolutely...)

Hi!! Oh my god thank you so much you have no idea what that means to me that you read and enjoy my fics 😭😭😭 thank you so so much

Yeah I only now got that other ask, which I can answer if you would still be interested! Are those numbers for the same list I answered with Finn? I can go digging for that post. Its nice to meet you little ghost 👻😉 (and you don't sound like a creep)

1. Yes yes yes 1000% agree. Ratso can be childish at heart but he's definitely capable of serious discussions, I see him as someone who enjoys the simple things in life and doesn't want to be embarrassed about liking cartoons or action figures. I think he's a total optomist, thinks the best of people and the world. And he definitely will sit and read complicated science and math books and theories and magazines and try to explain them to Finn and Chow, with little success

2. Oh yeah he's the guy to go to to get help with school work, he'll sit with his nieces and nephews and explain everything, spend hours with them to make sure they understand everything

3. Oh 1000% yeah Chow definitely got bullied for looking like a nerd and being a scrawny kid definitely did not help. He probably stated martial arts in high school with the hopes that it would help him with the bullying, which it did not, but it all worked out in the end right? 😅

4. Oh yeah, Finn is such an extrovert and Ratso definitely likes talking with and meeting new people but he can get tired of being around people too much. Chow is a total introvert, has no friends besides Finn and Ratso, and that's the way he likes it. I think Chow could go either way of either being a home body, or going out to clubs/bars pretty regularly. Anywhere where he doesn't have to make small talk. Ratso's definitely had people give him weird looks for being happy or excited about literally anything so he can be a bit more reserved about his hobbies and interests

5. Lmao I accept this headcanon 😆 he so would, wouldn't he? He would totally do that (I definitely don't want to draw him in 2000s emo get up, no definitely not)

Thank you so so much for the ask, I LOVE talking about Enforcer headcanons, I never stop thinking about them. But seriously, I can't thank you enough for reading my fics, it means so much to me that you think they're good 😭😭😭

[decompose1]

sorry to derail the ant talk going on but im curious: how do you differentiate between friendship/qp feelings personally? and is it different than dating for you just because youre not attracted to them or is there more? i dont think im aromantic but im questioning my sexuality and have difficulty describing my feelings towards others and wanted to hear from someone who Gets it. i hope this isnt too personal

it's alright, anon!

So it's kind of hard to explain. I'm personally aromantic, so i don't really get romantic crushes, which i think helps a little bit with distinguishing!! (goodness wishing the best of luck to non-aros distinguishing this stuff!!).

It's like. I don't know. It's definitely a very strong feeling for me. It's like being in love, just, minus the romance, i guess? If you've ever gotten a crush, yknow how you get like. Kinda stupid? Like you just want to be around them all the time and get all happy when they talk to you and you want to . yknow, make things more serious between you two. You desire a more committed relationship with them. It's like that!!

In general, at least for me, QPRs are very similar to more classic dating (we even sometimes go on "dates"), but without the aspect of romance necessarily being present. There are things i do with QPPs that i wouldn't really do with friends, and it's less casual. And i get really dumb and lovey with them. I consider them my partners!! Just in a sort of different way than my girlfriend . not less important, more like. different flavors of feelings yknow

[palettepainter]

2022

As much as I wanted to get a drawing done to round off this year I just don’t have the energy to be working on anything new

While this year has been filled with many highs, it’s also been a very tiring year emotionally and mentally. I don’t usually post a lot of personal stuff online, I try to keep art and personal life as separate as I can, but with some recent family news that’s been brought up I can’t say how hectic these next few months are going to be. Combined with my own issues I’m learning to cope with I think 2023 is gonna start off messily for my family to put it lightly, so I feel like I have to give some kind of idea of what’s going on behind the scenes because I can’t promise I’ll be uploading as much as I do. I just can’t say for sure right now what the new few months are gonna be like 

Things going on outside of art are personal to my family and it doesn’t affect me the worst, so I’ll be keeping those issues to myself. One thing though that has been affecting my life for the better in the long term however is this: On the 4th of May this year, I started going to counselling 

I’ve taken counselling before in the past but it was never really serious, if that makes sense. The person I was seeing was a family friend of my parents so I never really felt the freedom of opening up fully, and while it did help me understand my own emotions better it wasn’t quite what I needed. This year was the first time I ever reached out to a counsellor by myself and paid for it out of my commission money, including the travel. It was very daunting, at first, taking that step without the support of my parents - or the support of anyone - and it has been very emotional: talking about emotional and mental issues I’ve never really had the chance to talk about before because I didn’t have access to the right help. More so is the fact I never felt I could talk about these things because all these issues link back to how I was treated in the past, and whenever I would want to talk about it to try and understand myself better I’d be given the old “It’s only affecting you” or “It happened years ago, you need to move on” comment

I’ve been going to counselling when I can afford it and a mental health group every Wednesday - it’s been a lot at times, and like I’ve said, very emotional. It’s been both reliving and hard to talk about certain things and most of the time, I have ended up crying. Counselling can be very emotionally taxing as much as it can be empowering, it’s a positive journey to take to better yourself, and while it is going to suck at times, to anyone who is thinking about reaching out to counselling, or to anyone who thinks maybe they might feel better getting some or thinking about going back to counselling, please look into it. 

A big thank you to everyone who has commissioned me this year, it’s thanks to you guys I even got the money to start counselling and it’s been a huge help to finally be able to seek advice from a trained professional. It’s just..awesome you’ve been able to give me that freedom to get help!

Ontop of going to counselling, I’ve also dived into some new fandoms this year: Lupin the third and the Muppets. The Muppets in particular has been very fun! Voice acting has always been something I’ve wanted to do, (people may judge me for this next bit but I feel like it should be talked about more, especially concerning mental health and how common it can be) I’ve always had a habit of talking with myself, mostly dialogue I might use in stories between characters, and when I would do that I’d often try to do voices to distinguish who was who. Voice acting has always been one of my favourite acting roles because, as someone who has mild stage fright, I’ve never liked the idea of being on a stage, but I feel like voicing a character would be something I’d really enjoy. 

And with the muppets, you’re literally bringing a puppet to life through the act of voice acting and puppetry! I’ve become a big fan of Matt Vogel’s work on the Muppets (voices of Floyd Pepper, Kermit, Lew Zeeland, Deadly, Crazy Harry and Sweetums, to name a few), who was kind enough to leave a comment on one of my tweets featuring some art I’d done of Floyd! I was also lucky to be able to contribute on the merch team to the Electric Mayhem Fanzine, an opportunity I never thought would happen, let alone when I’d been in the fandom for only a few months!! Once again thank you to everyone who retweeted, commented, reblogged my Muppet art, you guys continue to surprise me with the amount of love you guys have for my work!

Though I can’t say this year has ended gracefully for my family, there’s been a main problem behind that scene that’s made things somewhat weird towards the end (weird is the best way I can describe it), this year has certainly been one of the toughest, and funnily enough, one of the greatest years for me! 

I want to say another big thank you and Happy New Year’s to everyone who’s supported my work this year, to anyone who’s been here since I started doing digital art or if you’ve been here since the start of the year. Happy New Years to those of you who might also be going through some hard times, those of you who think the holidays have felt different and things have felt out of your control. To anyone whose suffered the loss of a loved one, or those of you who are just tired and not in the mood of celebrating

I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve and good fortune in 2023, we’re all navigating this new year together - all confused and maybe a little excited - but we’re all in the same big boat 

[of-beasts-and-blood]

Character Intro

☢ Basics: Name: Lonnie Gilmore Pronunciation: Lon-ee Gill-more Meaning: Lonnie ~ “noble and ready” Gilmore ~ “great servant” Birthday: October 27th, 1947 (Scorpio) Age: 35 Gender: Male Pronouns: he/him Sexuality: Heterosexual Siblings: A younger sister, Connie Gilmore Mother: Barbara Gilmore Father: Giovanni Romero Other Family: N/A Languages: English. Current Residence: Ladonhill Castle, Wales. Hometown: San Francisco, California.

☢

☢ Wizard Fun: School: Not Ilvermorny, that’s for damn sure.  House: N/A Year of Graduation: Who cares.  Occupation: Bartender Pet: None - though he feeds Winnie’s dragons enough to feel some sort of duty of care towards them.  Blood Status: Half-blood. Squib. Species: Human Patronus: He’ll never know :) Boggart: Darkness. Complete and utter blackness. Hopelessness. Lonnie has always been a fighter. Even if the darkest of times, he’s always had enough determination to claw his way out. His biggest fear would be reaching that one time he can’t. Where everything is meaningless and he can’t do anything to change it.  Amortentia Scent: Cheap booze, wax crayons, that smell when you open a jar of jelly candy, the ocean.  Wand type: No wand.  Affiliation: Death Eaters. 

☢ Appearance: Face Claim: Milo Ventimiglia Height: 5’9 Hair Color: Dark brown Eye Color: Brown Typical Hair Style: A little on the shorter side, but still long enough to style. His hair just touches his collar and it’s usually styled to one side. It’s nothing remarkable.  Fashion Style: Mostly button-ups, jeans and ties. He has a few sets of dress pants and waistcoats for formal events. When he’s not working, he wears jackets too against the stupid cold. His favourite item of clothing is a well-worn flight jacket.  Distinguishing Features: Usually pretty deadpan. Crooked mouth. 

☢ Personality: Positive Traits: Indomitable, serious, charismatic (at work), paternal, hard-working, hopeful. Negative Traits: Bitter, misguided, scheming, jealous. Quick Facts: Can cook. Can sew. Can dance. Has a muggle driver’s licence. Has a motorbike licence. Has a motorbike (don’t tell Winnie). Has a sense of humour, but it’s very dry and very rare. Hobbies: Potion-making. Reading about aspects of the Wizarding World. Window-shopping. Exploring wizarding gathering spots. Why do so many of his hobbies make him feel like an outsider? Skills: Great at potions. Okay at playing well with others. Good at deflecting insults. Bad at maintaining interpersonal relationships. Bad at small talk. Good at those cool bartender flick-flack tricks. Not good at being a brother anymore. Great at keeping himself alive. Theme song: “Life Is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back” by Meat Loaf

☢ Headcanons:

Voice: The kind of gruff tone that doesn’t make you want to clear your own throat. He hasn’t got a memorable laugh, or one of those deep voices that makes you blush, or even the best accent. But his voice is pleasing on the ear and unremarkable enough that you don’t remember it when you finish talking to him. Lonnie fades into the crowd well. Speaks with an American accent.

Handwriting: Bad. Oh god, it’s so awful. Chicken scratch. It’s like the second he left school, he forgot how to write legibly. 

Lonnie is a master of the silent treatment. He and his mom barely exchanged words while Connie was at school and not living with them. Even when his sister was there, he got away with speaking very little in common spaces. He didn’t bother telling her he was leaving America. She wouldn’t have noticed anyway.

The only time he’s ever ignored Connie outright is when she came home once during her second year at Ilvermorny and proudly announced that he was what the kids at school called a ‘squib’. It was the first time she had separated the two of them as different. Before then, it hadn’t mattered that she had magic and he didn’t. It wasn’t something they talked about. But her world had a word specifically for someone ordinary like him, and it bugged him that she informed him so proudly. He didn’t speak to her for the remainder of her holiday.

Lonnie is used to the impermanence of home. During his final high school year in particular, he spent a lot of time away from his mother’s house. He would crash on friend’s couches or sleep in his car. He’s used to carving a space for himself where there shouldn’t be space. The fact that he’s living in an actual castle now is completely wild to him. 

Lonnie thinks Winnie’s dragons are cool. He always wanted a dog growing up, but this kind of blows that out of the water.

Even now, years later and buried under a thick layer of denial, Lonnie still wishes he would wake up and be magical. 

Lonnie likes jazz music and sometimes spends his evenings off at a jazz bar he likes in Camden. 

[kuniushi]

Insecret

Title: Insecret (인시크릿)

Chapters: 102 (complete)

Genre: yaoi, k-pop industry

+ very beautifully-drawn characters with plot (the side-story was more riveting than the main, frankly) + not much unnecessary toxic drama like love triangles appearing out of thin air - hard to distinguish the characters sometimes as some look the same

** Warning, spoilers ahead.**

This webtoon was an easy read and nothing really stands out from the yaoi-binge I've been on except the fact that it's set in the K-pop industry. That change in premise was a nice difference.

The main couple, Dojin and Yuwon are your typical BL couple who found love in each other (while being in the same group, Insecret) and lived happily ever after. Nothing much to really write about.

The side-story ... now that one is a bit more interesting. It's about another two members from the same group, Jihyuk and Dawol. In some panels, I could not tell if it was Dawol or Yuwon as they look so similar, especially when they color Yuwon's hair purple.

So anyway, the side story is set a few years after the main story and Dawol looks at Jihyuk like a little brother. Jihyuk just came out of military and oh dear, Dawol seems pretty serious about a girl. Lots of beautiful panels to clear that situation up and some hot smex thrown in there ... I will never say no to hot smex scenes. Boom, another happily ever after.

All in all, as I said, very typical BL story and not much that I remembered about this one. I'd say this story didn't make me sweat nor did it leave me unfulfilled, take that however you want. Perhaps next time I need to type some quick bullet points so that I can type something up here about it ...

EDIT. I did have a note about this title and it was specifically with this panel:

I have never heard of someone getting so drunk they couldn't find their face and I cackled like the wicked witch from the west when I read that the first time. Maybe if I did get so drunk, I would have a hot dude by my side cleaning up after my sorry drunk ass.