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restinslices · 1 year ago

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With You Gone Pt 2

After her visit to the cemetery, Deena’s plagued with false hope.

Deena hadn’t noticed she made it to school. She didn’t even remember getting dressed, but here she was, suddenly aware she was walking towards her locker.

She approached her locker, rolled her eyes and banged on the locker next to hers, alerting the couple making out. Strange. They seemed familiar. Maybe she had a class with one of them.

She went to open her locker, only to jump when someone suddenly cut into the locker next to hers. Heather’s old locker.

“What are-”, the figure left before she could finish. She looked at the locker and her eyebrows furrowed. The locker was covered in pictures and notes of condolences. Heather was dead, yes, so this shouldn’t have been weird… except the janitor had taken all of those things down a month after her passing. Some new girl with red hair owned that locker now.

She looked at the carving. “RIP”.

“You see? It’s the witch. Sarah Fier’s back”, a familiar voice said behind her. Deena felt like her heart was squeezed and she froze where she stood. It couldn’t have been… it couldn’t have been the girl who’s whispers sounded like honey even if honey obviously didn’t have a sound. It couldn’t have been the girl who was determined to leave Shadyside and become something special. It couldn’t.

“Are you ok?”, that voice again.

She turned around slowly, and when she finally made eye contact with the girl, a small gasp left her lips.

Kate looked back at her and Deena was sure that Kate was waiting for an answer, but what could she say? There Kate was, standing there in front of her alive and well. Head intact, no stab wound, no blood, no screaming.

One of Kate’s hands felt Deena’s forehead, “are you sick?” She asked. Deena grabbed Kate’s hand and let out a sigh of relief. She felt real. She could feel how warm she was, even the bones under her flesh.

None of this made sense. She was back to that day, the day she regretted more than anything. She even felt the heaviness in her other hand suddenly, and when she looked down she saw it was the box full of Sam’s things. She looked back up at Kate, who looked like she was close to having Deena admitted to a psych ward.

Deena dropped the box and wrapped her arms around Kate, taking in the scent of her perfume. She always told Kate she sprayed too much, but the smell no longer bothered her. It had been a smell she missed. A smell she craved. Deena didn’t even care about the tears that were rushing down her face, something she never wanted people to see. She especially hated the idea of crying in public.

“You’re as warm as the day I lost you…”, Deena whispered. She couldn’t see Kate’s reaction, but she knew she sounded crazy.

“Maybe we should move to a bathroom?”, Kate suggested.

Yes! If Kate was here that meant Simon was here as well! Deena let go of Kate and immediately rushed to the bathroom. She threw the door open then walked directly to the stall she knew Simon was in and swung it open. Simon was chewing on his nail and looked over at Deena. She didn’t know how she looked, but Simon frowned. “You-”

Deena didn’t let him finish. She hugged him and held him as tight as she could, his arms wrapping around her as well. Had there been a God that was watching and gave her another chance? Maybe those months with them gone was just punishment before she got her reward. Like saying “remember this feeling. Don’t let it happen again”. It didn’t matter. Simon, a friend she called “idiot” more than anything, was back. Both he and Kate were back.

Deena heard the door open and multiple things hit the sink counter. She assumed Simon mouthed something because Kate said a simple “no idea”. Simon had to pry Deena off him and push the both of them out of the stall. Simon wiped at her tear stained face, “what’s up with you?”.

“I um…”, Deena didn’t know how to answer without sounding crazy, “I missed you”.

“We saw you yesterday”, Kate said, clearly sounding suspicious.

“It’s a long time”

“Worth all the tears?”

“It’s because of me. Any time away from me is too long”, Simon joked causing Kate to roll her eyes.

“We’re being serious here Simon. Look at her. And what’s this box?”. Deena had forgotten all about that box. Maybe if she hadn’t been so worried about that box and Sam, she wouldn’t have lost Kate and Simon the first time around. Deena grabbed the box off the counter,

“A bunch of worthless shit”

“That’s why you brought it here?”

Deena discarded the box in the trash, the sound of it hitting the bottom satisfying her. Even if she still liked Sam, she’d be at the bottom of her list from now on.

“Like I said, worthless shit”. Her mind replayed the day. After this they went to the gym, then heard the game today was mandatory, then the fight, then shit was ruined. Deena knew what she had to do. She couldn’t let them enter that gym.

Deena cleared her throat, and tried to seem calm, “Let’s skip”.

“Skip?” Simon and Kate both said in surprise.

“That’s what I said”.

“Why?”, Simon asked

“Forget why. We can’t skip, there’s a game”

“It’ll probably be canceled ��cause of last night”

“Games are never canceled. They just say bullshit about being sad. We can’t just skip, it’ll look bad”

“You have a box of drugs in the vent but skipping a game is what you’re worried about?”

“How do you know-“

“Kate”, Deena sighed and rubbed her face. She couldn’t let them into that gym. She couldn’t let them get to that game. Well, maybe she could. Maybe she could do everything the same besides dropping the cooler or whatever it was. She couldn’t remember right now when she was so stressed. Still, she didn’t wanna risk it. She didn’t want Kate, Simon or her anywhere near Sam or Sarah Fier’s bones. Getting them out of school was the best option. Kate was just really fucking stubborn.

“Deena, you sure you’re ok?”, Simon asked with genuine concern. Kate and Simon stood together, both of them eyeing Deena like they expected her to have a breakdown in front of her. She couldn’t lie, she was really close to.

“Even if it’s not canceled, you know those Sunnyvale assholes are gonna say something-“

“They always do”

“Doesn’t mean we gotta hear it again. Come on, we haven’t even made it to our first class. No one knows we’re here. You can say I was feeling like shit and you both were comforting me. Say I knew Heather, or Ryan or anyone that was at the mall”

“That’s kinda shitty”, Simon stood on the toilet and grabbed Kate’s box. Hopefully that meant he was close to agreeing, just maybe not under that certain lie.

“Simon, come on”.

Simon thought for a second before he smiled and wrapped his arm around Deena’s shoulder. Deena’s heart slowed down a bit. Simon was on her side.

“Kate please. What if I said I really needed you two today?”. Kate huffed but nodded

“Fine. But I’m blaming you”.

~~~

Deena’s heart hadn’t returned to a normal speed until they were all in her living room watching a movie, nothing bloody allowed. They only watched half of the movie before they turned it off and moved to Deena’s room, talking about nothing in particular. Deena had missed this. Sure, she talked to Sam and Josh all the time, but neither of them had Simon’s weird quirks or Kate’s sense of humor.

Deena had been mainly listening to the two talk, not really intervening. She just listened and soaked in their voices, remembering how they pronounced each word and how their tone would change depending on the subject. Everything was perfect.

“Deena?”, she heard Simon say. She looked over at him. It had been so long since she saw the small curl in his hair. A curl, a bump, whatever it was, it was in the front of his face and the bottom of his hair went up in that area. “You listening?”, he asked.

“Yeah”, she lied. Kate and Simon looked at each other then her, both of them with skeptical and slightly worried looks. “I’m listening, I swear. Just don’t know what to say”.

“You’ve been off all day. What’s wrong?” Kate asked. Deena shrugged,

“Just a weird day”, they just had no idea how weird it had been. Deena’s eyes suddenly ached, and she groaned as she rubbed them. Before either of them could ask, she said “my eyes hurt”.

“Close ‘em. I’ll tell you what I said, like a little lullaby”, although Deena was still rubbing her eyes, she could tell Simon was smiling.

Deena agreed and closed her eyes. Simon began talking about a movie he saw recently that he hated and how would’ve written it and if he did, he’d get so much money he could take him, Kate, Deena and Josh out of Shadyside. Deena could hear Kate smack him in the back of the head and say how that wouldn’t be possible from just one movie, and if he ever wrote a movie it’d probably be borderline porn. Deena heard Simon say something like “people love that!”, but his voice started to become fuzzy and distant. It got worse. When Kate spoke, she couldn’t make out any words. Deena tried to open her eyes, but it wouldn’t budge. She could just barely feel her hands come up to her face and try to pry her eyes open. What was happening?! Her body felt like it was floating in nothingness, and the voices had gone completely silent.

Deena opened her eyes and gasped. She sat up and looked to where Kate and Simon were supposed to be, but nothing was there.

“What?”, she mumbled to herself. Her eyes glanced around the room. There was no evidence of Kate and Simon ever being there. No chips, no popcorn, no drinks, no note saying they left, the door was closed and the room was dark. She turned on the lamp then looked down. She was wearing pajamas.

None of it was real. There was no God that blessed her with the power to go back in time and make things right. There was no more hearing Kate and Simon go back and forth. It was all a dream, and she woke up from that dream.

Deena laid back down and closed her eyes. Maybe she was tired enough to go back to sleep and be with them again! She laid there, eyes closed, body still, mind replaying her dream over and over again.

Tears slipped past Deena’s closed eyes as the minutes passed. She tried to take a deep breath, but when she went to exhale, it all came out shallow.

“Please please please”, her voice came out wobbly, “just five more minutes”, this time her voice was hardly a whisper. She knew she was lying. If she got five more minutes, she’d wake and ask for five more, then five more, and the cycle would repeat. Her mouth opened to plead again, but all that came out was a choked sob. She opened her eyes and looked over at the empty space. Although her tears blurred her vision, she still knew one thing; Kate and Simon weren’t there.

She covered her eyes with her hands, another sob pushing past her lips. Then another sob escaped and before she knew it, her sobs turned to screams that scratched at her throat. Screams that kept going even when her dad and Josh burst through the door. Their dad jumped in bed next to her, pulling her close, and when Deena’s body tried to fight back and thrash away, he pulled her again and pet her head, telling her that she was ok and everything would be ok. All of it seemed like bullshit.

Deena continued sobbing against her dad, as Josh stood in the doorway. Maybe Deena’s eyes were playing tricks on her, but when she wiped her eyes and got a split second of perfect vision before the tears fell again, she could’ve sworn Josh’s eyes were red too.

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