#Fatima Farheen Mirza | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

raplinesmoon · 2 years ago

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A Place For Us (KSJ x F!reader)

pairing: ex-boxer!Seokjin x lawyer!reader (from On The Ropes)

genre(s): angst! and fluff

au(s): established relationship, parents au

word count: 4.5k

warnings: Seokjin and OC are older (late 40s/early 50s), being a parent is hard, moody teenagers, revelations, mentions of infertility, words are exchanged, lots of crying, doubts and insecurities about relationships, flashbacks, making up (happy ending yay!), brief makeout session at the beginning

rating: pg-15 (the OTR universe is 18+)

summary: It’s always on the most momentous occasions that things fall apart - but with some luck, love is always enough to bring people back together.

a/n: Happy 1 year anniversary to OTR! I’ve had this drabble in my head for quite some time, and I shed so many tears writing it. It’s pretty angsty, but really special to me (and you get to meet the newest member of the Kim family!). The title of this is inspired by my absolute favorite book, A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza. Nothing I write will ever come close to it, but please go and read it right now (the drabble can wait). I hope you enjoy!!

glossary: olchaeng-i (tadpole)

Seokjin darts his eyes nervously between the two options - black tartan or blue paisley, and feels pain shoot up between his eyebrows. Rubbing his eyes, he lets out a heavy sigh, wondering if it was finally time to go see the eye doctor after you’d begged him for weeks.

He hears the door close softly behind him, and your telltale perfume waft into the room, the warmth of your arms wrapping around his back.

“I don’t know why you even bother, you always pick blue,” you whisper into his ear, and he turns at the sound of your voice.

It’s been twenty years, and Seokjin is still never prepared for the sight of you in a dress, never failing to knock the wind out of him every time. He pauses, trying to refrain from vocalizing the first silly, ludicrous thought that creeps into the back of his mind, and instead return to the pressing matter at hand.

“Maybe it’s time to go with something different, the black does match my hair,” he snickers, knowing that now his head was more littered with grey strands than anything.

“You are hopeless,” you huff, snatching up the blue paisley tie and beckoning him closer, wrapping it around his neck. He watches your face scrunch in concentration as you tie it, tongue poking out from between your lips, and his foot taps on instinct, resisting the urge to disrupt your focus and kiss you.

“There,” you step back, admiring your handiwork, but Seokjin pulls you back into him.

“How much time do we have?” he asks, his eyes glimmering and gaze hungry, drinking in every inch of your body.

“We have a little bit,” you whisper against his lips with a smirk, sliding your hand underneath his suit jacket and feeling the hard planes of his chest. “She was still starting her makeup when I left.”

Seokjin barely lets you finish before his lips descend on yours, palms digging into your ass, and it’s a matter of moments before he’s backed you up against the door, wedging a thigh in between your legs to keep you spread open for him.

“Seokjin… please… careful,” you try to warn him, but the words are lost in between moans when he moves to your neck, licking and sucking at your pulse point.

Before you know it, the long skirt of your dress is hiked up to your waist, Seokjin’s hand barely pulling aside the embarrassingly wet fabric of your lacey white thong when—

“MOOOOOOOM!!!”

The two of you freeze, breathing heavily. Seokjin’s eyes are still dark pools, and he shakes his head silently, begging you not to go.

“Mom, I need help zipping up my dress!” your daughter’s frantic voice echoes from outside the door, and you both move quickly, untangling yourself from each other. You straighten out Seokjin’s crooked tie, and he falls to his knees, smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress. The two of you collect yourselves, and then you’re off, pressing a kiss to Seokjin’s cheek as you open the door.

“We’ll finish this later.”

“Appa, how much longer?”

Jin-ae sighs heavily. It’d been nearly an hour in the car, and they still weren’t anywhere close to this wedding. She watches her parents whisper to each other in the front seat, whispering quietly to one another, and huffs, pulling out her phone to text Hae, her best friend.

“Five minutes, olchaeng-i,” Seokjin chuckles.

“Appaaaa!” Jin-ae flushes with embarrassment at the childhood nickname.

When I first met you, her appa’s voice echoes in her head, you were on the ultrasound monitor, no bigger than a tadpole.

It’d been cute when she was younger, but now she was fifteen, and growing up. She didn’t just want to be his little tadpole for the rest of her life.

Get me out of this car, she texts Hae.

Tell me about it, Hae texts back. Hae’s dad was her dad’s best friend, and this was the first time she’d seen Hae in two weeks after Uncle Yoongi had grounded her friend for sneaking out at night.

Jin-ae opens up the front-facing camera, nervously smoothing down her hair and patting her makeup.

“You look beautiful, Jin-ae,” your voice comes from in front, and she sees you eyeing her through the rearview mirror.

“Thanks Mom,” Jin-ae smiles sheepishly, instantly feeling guilty for badmouthing her parents to Hae. They’d been nothing but kind and supportive for most of her life, even if they were a little dorky and overprotective. They’d come to every ballet recital and every soccer practice, they rewarded every good grade with a trip out for ice cream.

Her appa had been the one who stayed home with her most days when her mom worked, making sure she always had a homemade snack after school and coaching her through her math homework. When you came home, you would always promise to read Jin-ae a chapter of the book the two of you were reading together, talking about the plot and the characters until her eyes felt heavy and she began to slip away into her little world of dreams.

Jin-ae had the best parents in the world. Nothing would ever make her believe otherwise.

The real reason she was on edge wasn’t because of them. It was because her crush, Mingyu, would be at this wedding too. She’d grown up occasionally seeing him around because their parents were friends, but recently she’d begun to notice how cute he actually was, always making people laugh. Not to mention he was the captain of the basketball team.

The car screeches to a halt as Seokjin pulls into the parking space, and Jin-ae throws open the door immediately, launching to her feet. Mingyu was waiting inside!

“Bye Appa! Bye Mom! Hae is waiting for me, I’ll see you!”

“Jin-ae!” you shout after her. “Make sure your phone ringer is turned on!”

Jin-ae doesn’t even bother to check, too excited at the prospect of finally dancing with Mingyu. She turns on her heels and hikes up her skirt, watching you and Seokjin smile at her.

“Love you both! Byeee!”

“They’re so excited to see each other,” Yoongi snickers at Jin-ae and Hae tucked away in the corner, giggling at everybody on the dance floor. “Hae’s been driving us crazy over the past couple of weeks, and then Do-woon on top of it.”

“Aren’t you glad we only had one, ___?” Seokjin chuckles, and you give him a half-hearted smile back. Suddenly his hand is reaching for yours, giving it a comforting squeeze.

It wasn’t like you didn’t try. You tried. And tried, and tried, and tried. But something got in the way every time, whether it was not being able to shift out of your tiny apartment into a house, or not being able to move into a bigger house because Jin-ae didn’t want to change schools. Until the doctor told you that no matter how hard you tried, some things just weren’t meant to be.

You supposed it was why you treaded so carefully with Jin-ae. She was all you had, what made you turn from two broken, battered souls into a family. Which is why it scared you and Seokjin that she was growing up so fast. It was only yesterday that the two of you had been holding her hand, bandaging her cuts on the playground.

And now she was older, bright-eyed and curious, and beautiful, and as much as it made you proud, you were also afraid. Afraid the world would hurt her, afraid that it’d dim her light. Both you and Seokjin never wanted your daughter to experience the darkness you both went through, which still lingered in the background of some of your sleepless nights that were few and far between.

“You guys should take a vacation,” Yoongi suggests. “We went to Jeju last year for a week and it was the best week of our lives. Jin-ae could come stay over.”

Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you pinch him playfully. In the many years you’d been married, it had never occurred to either of you to take a vacation. Jin-ae had hurtled into your lives not long after the wedding, leaving you with low hopes for a honeymoon.

“Maybe we can take her,” Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “I’m sure she’d like to get out and explore too.”

You smile at that. A family vacation. It would be nice, just the three of you, away from school, from work, from here.

When you look up again, Jin-ae is no longer by Hae’s side. She’s wandered off to the side, teetering on her heels behind a boy, the two of them walking out of the room.

You let out a heavy sigh, trying to resist the urge to go after her, reminding yourself she’s still just a kid, and you tap Seokjin on the shoulder.

“Dance with me?”

“I’d love to.”

Jin-ae’s heart pounds in her ears, anxiety sending prickles over her skin at the thought of finally being alone with Mingyu. Hae had urged her on when Mingyu came up saying he wanted to talk to her about something.

This was it, the moment she’d been waiting for all night. Love was in the air everywhere it seemed, and now Mingyu was finally going to confess his feelings to her.

“What did you want to talk about, Mingyu?” she asks him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear shyly.

Jin-ae blushes when she realizes how little space is in her and Mingyu, and how close his face is. All he has to do is lean in…

“You tease!” Min-gyu says, and Jin-ae jumps back in surprise, not expecting his response. “When were you gonna tell me about your parents, huh?”

Jin-ae purses her lips in confusion. Her parents? What did they have to do with anything? She was pretty sure her mom didn’t even know Mingyu’s name, and her appa would be happier knowing he didn’t exist.

“W-what are you talking about, ‘Gyu?” she stammers. “Did they say something to you?”

Mingyu’s face falls. “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?” Jin-ae tries to stop her voice from cracking, and the tears from falling, but they do anyway.

“Jin-ae, your parents, they uh, well uh, your mom was engaged to this other guy, and she cheated on him… with your dad. That’s how they got together. Wendy told Karina last week and now everyone’s talking about it.”

The tears become heavier, clouding Jin-ae’s vision, and she tries to back away, only to be met with the wall. There was nowhere to go.

“N-no, you’re wrong,” Jin-ae croaks out. “Everybody is wrong. My parents love each other, t-they met in the park, they would never do something like that. NEVER!”

The last word is a plea, Jin-ae looking Mingyu in the eyes and hoping that he backtracked, that he admitted it was all some kind of sick joke. However, she’s met with only guilt.

Turning on her heels, she runs.

Seokjin is worried. He hasn’t seen Jin-ae ever since you told him she disappeared with some boy, and now he can’t stop fidgeting with his fingers, wondering if everything is okay with his little girl. What if he hurt her? What if he took advantage of her?

It’s this worry that presses him to nudge you, turning your attention away from dinner. You give him a nod of acknowledgment, and he knows you’ve been wondering the same thing. The two of you excuse yourself from the table, hand in hand as you slip out into the hallway.

Moments later, Seokjin’s worst suspicions are confirmed when he hears the telltale sound of familiar set of sobs. Only this time, they sound worse than the time Jin-ae was riding her scooter down the street and crashed into the curb. Or the time when Minji invited all the girls in the class to her sleepover except Jin-ae.

The two of you come to a stop outside the bathrooms, and you raise your hand, ready to knock, when the frantic figure of Hae stops in front of you, waving you away.

“Mr. and Mrs Kim, you shouldn’t be here right now,” she says, a waver to her voice.

“What happened Hae?” Seokjin can’t stop his voice from rising. “What did he do to her?”

“You guys should really go, I’ve got this, I promise,” she gulps.

You swoop past her, opening the door handle.

“Jin-ae? Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

You look up into the tearful eyes of your daughter, her makeup smudged and her hair jumbled, like she’s been pulling at it, strewn on the floor of the bathroom.

When Jin-ae notices you and Seokjin standing in the doorway, she sobs harder, curling up into a tiny ball, and you feel your heart break.

Seokjin moves first, crouching down to wrap his arms around her, but Jin-ae swats him away.

“GO AWAY!” she screams. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Olchaeng-i, is this about that boy Mingyu?” Seokjin says softly, stroking her hair and trying to set it back into place. “It’s okay, Appa’s here, we’re not leaving you.”

“But I want you to,” Jin-ae warbles, and you and Seokjin look at each other with concerned faces. “I want you to leave.”

“Jin-ae, please talk to us, tell us what’s wrong,” you give her space, but don’t leave.

“What’s wrong is that you both lied to me! What’s wrong is that you guys shouldn’t even be together because you cheated… you cheated on someone you were engaged to, Mom! And appa just let you instead of saying no! What’s wrong is that my whole life feels like a lie… we shouldn’t even be a real family!”

Seokjin feels his blood run cold, and he looks over to see you in the exact same position, frozen and unable to move. This was never how you wanted Jin-ae to find out. The two of you had spent your whole lives trying to atone for the truth, and now it had come back to haunt you, in the worst way possible.

“Olchaeng-i, we can talk about this, your mom and I can tell you, it’s not what it seems like,” Seokjin stutters over his words, hands fidgeting at his sides. He wants to hug Jin-ae so badly, but it feels like his arms have been encased in cement blocks.

“What is it then?” Jin-ae is relentless. “I have to listen to you explain why you’re not a fucking adulterer, and mom’s not some slut who opened her legs for you the first chance she got? You’re going to explain how you didn’t ruin everybody else’s life because you both were so goddamn selfish? Was I just some stupid way of trying to make up for it, huh? Did you get married and have me because you felt like it was the right thing to do after doing everything else wrong?”

Jin-ae rises to her feet, ignoring Seokjin’s arm reaching for her, and he looks over to still see you frozen on the floor, tears rolling down your face silently. You can’t even look anywhere but straight ahead.

“I don’t want to hear it, appa. I don’t even want to be around you anymore. You make me sick,” she spits out before leaving.

Seokjin is at your side before you can even say anything, crushing you against him as you both erupt into sobs, holding each other and wondering how everything had gone so wrong.

From then on, everything is silent. You and Seokjin barely utter more than ten words to each other as Seokjin pulls Yoongi aside and explains what happened. You see Yoongi nod in acknowledgment, telling his best friend that he’ll find Jin-ae, and make sure she stays out of trouble, while a tearful Hae looks on. It’s silent when both of you pile into the car, the air heavy without Jin-ae’s bubbly chatter to break through it. Seokjin keeps his eyes on the road, and you keep them outside, watching the lights drift by, fighting off the urge to make him stop and vomit on the side of the road. Instead the pit in your stomach only grows deeper when he pulls into the driveway, and everything is dark, with no Jin-ae on the steps waiting for you both.

The two of you step inside, and while normally you’d be relieved to be home, the tiny, two-bedroom house the two of you built your whole life inside now feels like little more than a shabby cardboard box. All the pictures on the wall, the furniture you’d picked out together, Jin-ae’s shoes by the door, feels hollow with the weight of her accusations in the back of your mind.

The scary thing was, part of what she said was right. You and Seokjin had cheated, and you lied, upheaving not only your lives but Jungkook’s in the process. And while every day you thanked the universe that he’d been able to move on and find love, to find forgiveness in his heart, forgiving yourselves had been less of an easy task.

You thought the love would have been enough to fight the feeling of guilt. And it was. Until now.

You plop on the couch, bending over to take off your heels, when suddenly, the words come back, and you crumple, unable to stop shaking. Seokjin is there in seconds, arms around your side, stroking your hair, and the two of you cry it out together, finally growing tired of the silence.

“Shhh, jagiya, it’ll be okay,” he whispers into your hair.

“What if she’s right, Seokjin?” the hopelessness creeps into your voice. “What if this wasn’t meant to last? What if we can’t keep running anymore?”

“___, this is real,” Seokjin takes your hand in his, running his thumb over the thin gold band you wear every day to symbolize your love. “I told you a long time ago that you were it for me and I meant it. I know we’ve made mistakes, jagi, but this, our family, has never been one of them. Jin-ae is just angry, and she’s hurt. She’ll come back to us.”

“I hate that we have to keep doing this,” you lean onto his shoulder. “I hate that we have to remind each other all the time. When will it stop?”

“Maybe never,” Seokjin admits. “But I’ll still be here every day.”

“I love you, Seokjin,” you whisper. “I’m so lucky I get to have you.”

He watches your eyes flutter shut, before whispering:

“I’m the lucky one.”

It’s midnight when Jin-ae sneaks back into the house, finding the spare key her parents kept in the plant pot outside. The house is dark, and it’s quiet.

Guilt causes the knot in her stomach to become tighter. Uncle Yoongi and Hae had taken her to their house, where she’d had a warm meal and time to cool off. She was so confused. So hurt that the perfect parents she’d known growing up were revealed to be far from it. She didn’t know how to process the news, or how to feel anymore.

So she’d sat on the Mins’ front porch in the cold, thoughts running every which way in her mind, until she’d heard the door click and footsteps behind her, coming face to face with Yoongi by her side.

“Still upset?” he asks her, and the gentle look in his eyes reminded her so much of her appa, and how he’d come by with cut-up fruit every time she was upset.

“Shouldn’t you also be, Uncle Yoongi? He’s your best friend.”

“I did my time, little tadpole,” Yoongi chuckles, using Seokjin’s nickname for her. “I told Seokjin it was a bad idea, I told him everything would fall apart. I was angry with him too.”

“How did you make it go away?” she asked him, swinging her legs side to side. “The anger.”

“Jin-ae, he’s made a lot of mistakes, but he’s not a bad man,” Yoongi says quietly. “Neither is your eomma. They love each other more than anyone I know. They were so happy when you came, I thought they’d never stop smiling. You’re their entire world.”

Jin-ae smiles softly at his words, a memory washing over her.

. . .

“Me and mom will be back to get you after school, little olchaeng-i, okay? Be good for us.”

Seokjin gives Jin-ae a kiss, eyes wet with tears. You’re no better off beside, eyes red-rimmed at the new dress she’d picked out, and the pretty bow sticking out of her neat hairstyle. It was the first day of school, and you and Seokjin were going absolutely insane at the thought of leaving your little baby, even if it was only for a few hours.

“Appa, let me go peez,” Jin-ae lisps, watching the other children run around the playground with their colorful backpacks. When she sees Seokjin’s teary eyes, her chubby hand reaches out for his, pressing a tiny butterfly kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t cry Appa, olchaeng-i wuvs you. And mommy too.”

The two of you try to stop from erupting into more sobs, holding her tightly. Before you know it, she’s waving goodbye, her tiny body disappearing inside the classroom.

The rest of the day passes by in an eerie trance. You fret over Jin-ae at work, wondering if she’s making friends, and whether or not she’s okay to use the bathroom on her own. Seokjin stares emptily in the fridge, looking at the heaps of fruit that Jin-ae loved to eat, and decides drown his sorrows by eating the whole carton of strawberries.

You come home early, and the two of you head back to the school, waiting with anticipation as the children spill out of the hallways, eyes looking out for your little girl.

When you see her, she screams, running excitedly into your arms. She doesn’t waste a second before launching into a whole explanation of how her day went, excitedly showing you the colorful “art” she’d scribbled.

“Sounds like you had a fun day, baby,” you crouch to her height, swooping her bangs out of her eyes.

“Was ok,” Jin-ae says, becoming quiet.

“What happened baby? Is there anything wrong? School was fun, right?” Seokjin asks her.

“Was ok, but I like home with you and mommy more. Can we go now?”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Jin-ae was growing up, faster than you thought she would, but at the end of the day, she was still happiest by your side. And that meant everything.

. . .

Jin-ae tears up at the memory, regret instantly settling into her heart.

“I’m such an idiot, Uncle Yoongi,” she looks at him. “I said such awful things, I, I can’t even take it back. They’ll never forgive me.”

“They’re your parents Jin-ae. Of course they will.”

The memory of school, and the talk with Yoongi linger in the back of her mind as she slips out of her shoes, tip-toeing silently and making a promise to apologize in the morning. When she stumbles past the living room, however, she stops.

Seokjin is there, his head shifting from side to side, trying to keep from dozing off, while you snooze on his shoulder. He’s humming softly in your ear, and his eyes are so full of love that it makes Jin-ae’s heart hurt.

A choked sob escapes her at the emotional scene, and Seokjin turns at the sound, eyes widening at the sight of his daughter in the hallway, but Jin-ae runs up the stairs before he can say anything.

The door to her room is open, and Seokjin knows by the light that her lamp is still on, and she’s awake. He knocks quietly before letting himself in. Jin-ae lies on the bed, her back to him, not even looking up when she feels the bed sink next to her.

Seokjin doesn’t know how to begin. He’s never been the talker between the two of you, preferring to let his actions speak instead. He feels as though he’s made his way to a wide chasm, able to see his daughter on the other end, but unable to reach out and take her hand.

Which is why it surprises him when she speaks first.

“Aren’t you tired, Appa? Of the guilt? Doesn’t it hurt?” the words are less an accusation, and more of a genuine vocalization of concern.

Jin-ae sits up, and looks at him, really looks at him, and her eyes widen in realization, like she’s seeing him for the first time. He’d tried so hard for her, to be the perfect appa, to be the perfect husband, but deep down, he was the same Seokjin from many years ago.

“I don’t want you to be hurt anymore, appa. I don’t want you or mom to feel like this because of me.”

Jin-ae throws her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder, and he rubs gentle circles on her back.

“I’m only human, olchaeng-i. I try my best, and so does your mom. We try every day to forget the mistakes we’ve made. Do you know what helps us the most though?”

Jin-ae shakes her head, biting at her lips to keep more tears from spilling out.

“It’s you. It’s our family. This love that we have, it’s our second chance. Our shot at happiness. And neither me, or your mom take it for granted ever. We can tell you whatever you want to know, just please, don’t be afraid to talk to us. We need you.”

Jin-ae nods, resting her head on Seokjin’s shoulder.

“Can you tell me about her? Mom? Did you love her the very first time you saw her?”

Seokjin smiles at that, marveling at how it’s been twenty years, and he still launches into the story with the same enthusiasm. Jin-ae’s curious voice interrupts him to ask questions every now and then, until the questions are replaced with yawns, and she drifts off by his side.

Tucking her in, Seokjin shuts the door quietly, surprised to see your sleepy figure at the top of the stairs.

“You did good,” you tell him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“We did good,” he pulls you into him, and the two of you head to bed.

. . .

It’s only been a few hours of restless sleep when you and Seokjin are disturbed by the presence of a third person in your bed, Jin-ae crawling into the sheets between you, wrapping her arms around you.

“I’m sorry mom,” she whispers. “I love you.”

“I love you too baby. I love both of you.”

“Can I sleep here with you guys tonight?” Jin-Ae asks, her voice full of uncertainty.

“Okay,” you tell her, pulling her into you to lay across your chest, like she did when she was a baby. Seokjin puts his arms around both of you, pressing a kiss to your lips when Jin-ae has fallen asleep.

The little house is quiet again, but the good kind, a place for your family reserved within its four walls. The night is peaceful.

A/N pt. 2: I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!! I WILL KEEP LOVING THEM!! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

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