#Fat rant anon
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bladeechan · 2 months ago
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I hate these women with feeding fetish under the #send anons tag. I'm afraid one day I'll look like them or worse if I don't stop eating or I won't kill myself. That's scary. And I won't stop eating. I love eating and drinking beer. What do I do? ANYWAYS SEND ME ANONS PLEASE
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blehboyspost · 5 months ago
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Bro is calling himself ugly meanwhile I look like a rotting mcdonald's employee💀
HONEY. YOU'RE HOT.
BRO HUH⁉️ I LOOK SO FAT AND GROSS STOP PLAYING😭
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thegardengrows-infrozenrain · 6 months ago
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love seeing cool fanart from a cool artist only to have to immediately block them for dramamongering.
like okay you drew a character with your headcanons. cool. great. don't need an inflammatory likebeggar caption with 25 "kAwAiI" emojis while you rant about how no one will like them because literally everyone in the fandom hates minorities and is a "weirdo freakazoid" who will attack you for headcanons.
like you can just tell behind the screen, past the needlessly smug aura, they're just fucking SEETHING about their imaginary haters.
#like genuinely i think people like this should go be harassed.#like lemme show you what it's really like to get shit on lmao#because harassment isn't one person not liking your content and saying under anon one time that they don't like ur artstyle#like it's constant spam in your inbox of slurs#because you said you have a personal negative history so please don't say that word in your vicinity#it's being attacked by one person and their followers for weeks without end because you said one thing#about crushing on a celebrity#and they couldn't handle it.#it's getting pulled into discord group chat after discord group chat where everyone dogs on you#for venting in a vent channel in a private server with your friends#because one of them invited one of THEIR friends and they went through the server digging for dirt on everyone#discourse#tw discourse#tw drama mention#drama mention#drama#tw drama#ranting#tw ranting#tw rant#rant#and ofc with these types you can tell by the emojis they select alone#that when they vent about bullies. they ARE the bullies. these are the types who would#dog on people for being like. slightly adjacent to chubby.#like total regina george ass motherfuckers#like fuck off with this 'this is for weirdos that like to attack ppl abt headcanons 🤪🤪🤪😜😜😜😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨🤭🤭🤭🤩🤩🤩💋💋💋'#like just. fuck off with that bullshit. i know you post 'get thinner or go down the road next time babe😘🥰😊😌' in people's dms when you#aren't drawing like. human pinkie pie who is 'chubby' but with barely any extra fat.
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martyrbat · 2 years ago
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I just know Barbara Gordon’s pet growing up would have been two gold fish that her uncle Jim got her.
she would get SO annoyed anytime jim messes up and calls one fish the other's name too...
(also, he tries his hardest to tell them apart, really, but also just... its two goldfish. what the hell do you mean ‘you can just tell’??)
#i also like thinking she was a mouse/rat kid....#i have a slightly weird headcanon for older! babs and how she ends up having a parrot too#also stay with me ok?? but young babs seeing an alleyway cat with a hurt leg and torn ear and#just going to jim. the ‘dad — uncle jim! please! it obviously needs help!!’ but jim puts his foot down. the house is cramped enough#and a stray cant be around an infant! what if the cat has something and scratches or bites?! absolutely not.#he gets home from work & ofc has the cat bc she had watery eyes and the poor girl did just lose her only family member and had to leave#her friends and home and everything she once had. even her own name is no longer her own....#she deserves something thatd make her happy and make gotham feel like a home...#but huh. for an alleyway cat it sure is quite fat huh? im sure its nothing unusual and hey it is kinda cute! :)#it gives birth to 5 kittens under his bed that night because of fucking course it does#jim is so fucking tired guys. he ends up asking his weird masked friend if he knew anyone thatd want a kitten in 8ish weeks.#when given the choice; babs decides to keep the mama instead of just a kitten. (jim secretly bonds with a kitten and keeps one anyways :))#i just think she deserves an old rescue cat... she spoils it and rants to it and it keeps her grounded to reality in a way :33#barbara gordon#uncle gordon#thank u for the ask anon!! this is a cute hc i am officially adopting it >:33#<- more like of-fish-ially....#sorry.
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jink-keys1 · 29 days ago
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i binged today but like... it was also literally the only solid meal i ate today, lol. it was only a 1k kcal binge and only put me at 1.2k kcals for the day
tw: kcal info
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sacharinee · 2 years ago
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hi m!!! what do you think about bf!pete getting his wisdom teeth out? and the reader taking care of him?? hed be so funny lmao xxD
-🧸
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pairing: bf!peter parker x reader w/c: 750 a/n: hi anon!! thnk u for requesting i had sm fun writing this! :)
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you’re sat at the dentist's office, cooped up in those uncomfortable chairs while you anxiously waited for your boyfriend’s surgery to finish.  
when peter ranted and moaned nonstop over his constant toothache, may decided enough was enough, and took it upon herself to set an appointment for her nephew. he wasn’t too keen on the idea. peter wasn’t afraid of anything ninety-nine percent of the time. dentists, however, wasn’t one of them. 
“can’t you stay here with me?” 
“stay? baby, no they’re gonna be drilling in your teeth.”
“but i-”
“and it’s gonna be bloody and nasty and i don’t wanna have to see all that.”
you turn towards him, only to come face to face with the boy’s horrified look, his eyes are wide and skin pale, mouth open in shock. you cringe at your response.
“but,” you stand, “you’re gonna do amazing, you’re gonna sit here and let the dentist do his magic.” you smile and lean down to plant a sweet kiss on his forehead.
“y/n/n, wait but-” you drop his hand on the way out, “bye, love you baby! be good!”
“y/n!”
two hours later swing by when a woman in navy scrubs comes to get you, announcing that peter is out of surgery. 
you knew that he would be high out of his mind on laughing gas, you just didn’t think it would be this bad. 
when you enter, the dentist is off to the side, looking over charts, packing a care bag for his patient.
peter’s head lulls towards your touch on his shoulder and slowly blinks at your presence. 
“hi baby, how you feeling?” you give him a beaming smile.
your boyfriend does his best to muster the same grin, but the amount of gauze in his mouth makes his rosy cheeks puff out, drool dripping down the corner of his mouth.
peter takes a moment to stare at you, “woaahh” he languidly slurs his words, “you’re so pretty.” 
you giggle at the comment when the boy gasps in horror, “wait, wait, i have a girlfriend, and she’s-” he looks up at you worriedly and slaps his forehead, “i’m in trouble.”
you can’t help but let out a laugh, he’s so dopey. 
your fingers touch the bottom of his chin gently and lift his head, “i’m your girlfriend, silly.” 
a loud gasp escapes peter as his face turns ecstatic, “get out!” you giggle at his reaction, the dentist glances over at you two and offers an admiring smile.
“so do we have sex?”
the awkward silence in the room kills you. 
your face blushes, as you shake your head and clear your throat, “peter, no.”
“no?!” he sighs in disappointment, “aw man.” your boyfriend pouts at the floor, “what have i been doing with my life.”
“oh my god, pete,” when the dentist turns away, you whisper and offer him a shrug, “sometimes we do.”
the delight on his face returns and his eyes go wide, “really?!”
the boy seriously has no filter.
as you’re packing his things, peter pauses and pokes his cheeks, “wait y/n,” he pauses, “my face kinda feels weird.”
you look around and hand him a mirror from the counter, “oh my god…” peter gingerly touches his face as you kneel down at him, “what’s wrong, baby?”
“my face… it’s so fat!” he’s got tears in his eyes and whining with a jutted bottom lip, “y/n,” sniffle. “will-” sniffle. “will you still love me if my face is so fat?” 
you roll your eyes and smile at his antics, “of course, i would.”
he seems pleased with your answer because he’s back to smiling. you go back to packing his things. “hey, mr dentist,” he woozily slurs, the gauze is practically spilling out his mouth, “d��you know i’m spider-man?”
you mentally facepalm at his obliviousness and mutter, “jesus christ.”
you turn to the older man who’s chuckling at his mental state and shrug, “he also thinks he’s luke skywalker from star wars.”
“but i am!-” “okay bug boy, lets go.”
“where we going?”
“home, sweetie.”
he gasps eagerly and raises his eyebrows at you, “to have sex?”
“oh my god.”
soon after the dentist explains and hands you everything he needs to recover, you guide peter to the car. 
he’s extremely dramatic. 
he’s got his hands around your shoulders, dragging himself on the floor, acting like he can’t walk - which he definitely can.
“peter, i know you can walk. c’mon help me out,” you beg.
“no, i can’t" he moans, "carry me,” he demands.
“what? no,”
“why not?”
“because you’re too heavy.”
and he’s crying all over again, “i knew it! you hate me 'cause you think my face is too fat!”
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plaidos · 8 days ago
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Sorry if this is going too far with turning your inbox into the children's cartoon complaint zone, but the stuff about Grenda in Gravity falls got me thinking.
I was a teenager when Gravity Falls was coming out, and it remains one of my favorite cartoons, but rewatching it recently made me uncomfortably aware of just how much mean-spirited and offensive comedy there is throughout. Grenda as a "comic relief" character is a huge one of course, but there's just a LOT of deriving comedy from people's bodies and appearances. Plus just straightforward man-in-a-dress jokes...
There's also the fact that Alex Hirsch seems to think AAVE (or like "slang" created to be a comically heightened imitation of AAVE) is the most hilarious thing ever, but also makes sure it's always coming from on-screen white characters, as if that unproblematizes the way it's mocked? It's a CONSTANT recurring thread throughout the series.
I ended up falling off a recent rewatch for a while after hitting the episode "Soos and the Real Girl." It really hit me there with the exact way they were characterizing Soos's social incompetence and "childish" interests, oh, he's straight up supposed to be autistic. He explicitly gets obsessed with the dating sim because he likes how social interactions have predictable rules in it, unlike real life. It's hammered home *multiple* times that one of his big stated social deficiencies is an inability to make eye contact, etc. Come the fuck on. And that's fine in a vacuum, the episode ends with everyone realizing he didn't need to change himself because he could still have value as a person as long as his awkwardness was charming to a quirky chubby woman.
But all the jokes in the episode are still about how funny it is that he's socially unaware and makes other people uncomfortable or frightened. And worse, it recontextualizes the way he's used as a joke throughout the rest of the series, the way he's portrayed as stupid, as a man-child, as being abused and taken advantage of by his employer while he's oblivious to it. It's just so gross. And that's not even getting into how he's also fat and Hispanic, and he's not just mocked but *dehumanized* for comedy CONSTANTLY.
Plus that episode throws in one of the show's transphobic jokes for good measure. Isn't it so funny that you can't tell if this person in alternative fashion is a man or a woman? Isn't it funny that Soos is so autistic-- I mean socially inept-- that he openly, in public, to their face, speculates on their gender? Not like for trans people that's a nightmare scenario that carries an implicit threat of violence or anything...
And all this is absolutely not to suggest that Gravity Falls is a uniquely harmful piece of media. I know for certain if you pick any network sitcom at random, before or even since Gravity Falls, you'd find way worse examples of all of this. But it's just a bummer to now be a grown-ass fat, autistic, trans woman who can recognize some of this stuff, and realize that even the media that's most special to me thinks it's funny to be hostile to people like me, that it's not really made for me. And to recognize that it's even worse for people who are marginalized in ways that I'm not.
Anon I’m in love with you — it’s like you went down a checklist in my brain of every complaint i’ve ever had about this show. i completely, completely agree with every note here — the jokes about AAVE specifically stood out to me, especially since there’s been at least one occasion where Hirsch went on a twitter rant about how (xyz aave) is the worst, stupidest thing to ever happen to the English language (meanwhile he thinks combining the words “Bill” and “Dipper” is funny enough to include as a joke despite it being just literally putting two names together. wooow how clever and funny white people are, thank god this caucasian braingenius is protecting the sanctity of the english language from black people who make up bad new words)
also dude can’t go five seconds without putting a white person in a “cowboys and indians” style native american costume. Hirsch has a fucking major problem with the way he treats his hispanic characters & how he portrays native american mythology & culture as basically this funny stupid thing to be used as set dressing for white people.
it feels a lot like he watched The Simpsons’ (sometimes effective, sometimes ineffective) satire on racism, bigotry, and the conservative tendencies in archetypical american towns and understood that it was funny but didn’t get why and just limply recreated the jokes without the structure for it to be a satire. not that the Simpsons doesn’t fall into these same problems with racism & body shaming, but i feel like they at least have a veneer of it being “isn’t it stupid how people like Homer think like this?” rather than just “haha different culture talk funny”
and the problem is, it sucks that it’s like this because it’s so good. it feels like every time i recommend it i have to be like “a lot of the jokes have aged like milk but it’s worth it”. like i love Gravity Falls. which is why it’s important to criticise it for its flaws.
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hurlingdown · 3 months ago
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Please 🍶 anon. I’m a married man 👉💍
Though that does give me so many good ideas..
Pretending to be Muzan’s husband, a slayer finding you both in the cities so you have to press him against the wall and kiss him breathless to keep undercover. One thing leads to another and you’re fucking him in both his female and male form. He is humiliated with the noises he’s making and the way his body is trembling in your hold, he’s almost tempted to kill you.. but then you give him the most earth shattering orgasm and suddenly you’re his right hand man. Fucking him in every room of the infinity castle, sucking him off against the tree in the middle of an abandoned path, eating him out bent over against a well in the middle of a town during the night.
He even slips up and calls you his husband to one of the upper moons.
Toji getting married for money.. unhappy but not on the streets. His fat, rich husband dragging him to a fancy party - he’s bored out of his mind but he’ll do anything for a bag, and then he feels eyes on the back of his head - a cursed spirit under the guise of a tall, handsome businessman, watching him with burning insatiable need.
Toji’s done a lot of fucked up things for money, but none of them felt this good. Back arching as the curse fucks him deep and hard, his stupid husband calling his name as he gets fucked in the bathroom stall. Another fat wad of cash shoved between his tits to answer him, calling out that he’s fine and he’ll be out in a minute as your second set of hands begins to stroke and prod at his already stuffed hole.
Maybe big bad husband Crocodile finding no other option to discipline Buggy, calling you in - his prized bodyguard - to fuck some manners into the clown. Grabbing a hold of his bottom half as Mihawk grabs his head, forcing him to look as you and Crocodile kiss atop his decapitated body, your cock sinking inside him slowly.
Or even being Caesar Clowns ‘Work husband’ - a title he gave you and pretended everyone else gave it to you and he was disgusted by the prospect, though he never once stopped using it - you’re his assistant, bringing him snacks and drinks, getting files and viles.
One day bringing him a magenta vile labelled ‘dangerous’ ‘do not drink’ ‘do not inhale’, you’re oh so careful with this stupid little bottle when you’re tripped - Caesars tendril of smoke whisping back into his cloud coat. But instead of the vile landing on you like he had planned, it lands straight into his big mouth, draining the contents as his face turns bright red. Not even a minute later he’s leaking and begging you on his hands and knees that he needs your babies in him, he needs your dick inside of him and for you to breed him like livestock. Fucking little creep was trying to roofie you, well now you had all the means for some revenge.
Anyway, the bunny Zoro fic was fucking delicious. I need that bunny boy to come back whining for reader to cuddle and snuggle and fuck him stupid again.
Love you Hurlers.
- 🐉
Btw, have you watched My Hero? I have been trying to find someone to talk about All Might with. The way they have him in this newest episode has my dick drippinggg 😫😫
MUZAN AND TOJI??? WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE. just finished reading another banger thirst in my inbox and then i'm placed face to face with this. i seriously love you all.
no kidding. sugar baby toji is the singular best take on his character in the world of fanfics, and reader being a curse fits so well, i'm in awe. and caesar clown and aphrodisiacs mix so well, holy fucking shit. i'm going to be super busy after this month ends.
and yeah, i've watched mha. :) i'm not caught up with the latest two seasons, but i'm familiar with the lore up to s5. go ahead and rant about all might!!! thank you for the obscenely delicious thirsts!!!
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rationaliity · 7 months ago
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mine now | gallagher x f! reader ( 18 + )
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ill be so real with you my dearest freaky anon i'm not the biggest fan of cheating so plspls understand that if this kinda sucks,,, im sorry, especially since you were waiting for so long for this and then i drop the most lukewarm fic of all time. i also had to change the story around so that it was something that i was comfortable writing, sorry about that ! still the basic premise, i just am not good with ntr for some reason ?? weird. who knows man. tags : drug abuse ! dubcon, dirty talking, weed & alcohol mention, female anatomy reader but its sort of nonspecific idk, pw/op, voyeurism sorta, exhibitionism sorta, coercion almost, mentions of infidelity, comfort turns into sex, possessiveness, unprotected sex, gallagher uses petnames a lot, reader being drunk & high at the same time, reader gets on call with her ex boyfriend while gallagher fucks them words: 1.8k
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gallagher's hand was in your hair, your head pulled back as he pounded you so hard into the mattress it made your hip hurt a little bit from the pressure, not that it was really what you were focused on. he'd promised to make you forget your shitty ex boyfriend who'd cheated on you, and you had agreed on that without a second thought. it was originally just a drink that the two of you shared together, with you ranting about this loser to gallagher, who was all too patient with you.
one drink turned into three, and drinks turned into smoking together. being crossfaded and half focused, those little rants went on about everything that had pissed you off about that loser since the moment the relationship started to decay. everything from how he refused to flush the toilet no matter how many times you reminded him, to how tiny his dick was. gallagher had laughed at your jokes about him, and it spurred you on to keep going, laughing about that loser's tiny shrimp dick. gallagher asked if you'd ever had a dick bigger than two inches, and you shook your head. you had no idea what sex was really supposed to feel like aside from what you knew.
then he asked if you were willing to see what it was like, and you swore you'd never felt more sober than that moment right then as you hesitantly nodded. was it still going to hurt if you weren't a virgin anymore ? the answer, surprisingly, was a resounding yes ! you learned that pretty quickly as gallagher's hips pistoned into yours, his free hand grabbing the fat of your ass, his body pressed against yours so he could whisper into your ear.
" don't be shy, baby, you can let your makeup ruin my sheets. it's been ruining my shirt all night now, " he purred in your ear, his sharp canines daring to bite into the sensitive skin of your neck completely without warning. when he finally did, you made a pathetic little mewl that you weren't even aware that you could make. " a little reminder of who can fuck you better than that fuckin' pathetic loser, yeah ? gonna go to work tomorrow n show off your mark for everyone to see, yeah ? "
possessiveness was driving him, only amplified tenfold by the weed in his system. it made you both feel everything so much deeper, so both in tune with your bodies and completely disorientated at the exact same time. you couldn't feel your toes anymore, and you weren't even sure you had a tongue in your mouth you were so far gone, but you could feel every deep stroke inside of you as he thrust, and the feeling of his nails digging into the flesh of your ass.
you were a disaster. you knew you should be somewhere else. it was in three the morning, you were three drinks and several shots deep, and with enough weed in your system to kill a victorian child before they could even understand what was happening to them. but you had no idea that you needed this so much, needed to feel him so deep inside of you that it brought you to tears, stretching you so well that you thought there was no way it was going to fit. and yet his cock buried itself completely inside you each time, his tip hitting against your walls in that special spot that made you cry out.
you wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, and by god you wanted to moan so loud that your neighbors could hear you. and maybe you were doing all of those things, at this point you weren't entirely sure what you were doing, other than taking his cock. gallagher was like an animal, desperate to claim every inch of you, and you were so willing to give him everything that he desired without any amount of a fight.
you heard a noise in the background, but you honestly didn't think much of it at that point. it was so unimportant, you didn't really care what it was, although you recognized the sound. " baby, your phone is ringin', you wanna answer it, or should i ? "
you made a pitiful little noise, and he took that as a perfectly valid answer, grabbing your phone and sliding it up for you. " hey, yeah ? oh, man. " you couldn't hear what was going on on the other side of the phone, but you could hear gallagher chuckle, and you swore he started to fuck you even harder now, the lewd noises of your skin slapping together undoubtedly able to be heard through the phone. " yeah, sorry you're a fuckin' loser, but they've got some new dick. thank you for keepin' them so fuckin' tight f'me. "
you don't know why your ex hadn't hung up the phone yet, but also on the other hand it made complete sense. if he had a way to argue, he was going to argue, even when all of the odds were against him, and the answer was blaring at him straight in his face. you buried your face in the pillow, trying not to make so much noise, but finding it impossible with the way gallagher was thrusting inside of you like he owned your body. and maybe he did, who knows at this point ? you just knew that you'd never felt this good, not with yourself, or any other partner.
" you wanna talk to them ? oh, man, be my fuckin' guest. i just hope you know you ain't gonna like what you hear. "
without a warning, the phone was pushed against your ear, letting you speak and say whatever you wanted to, but you couldn't find the words to say anything to him in between the moans spilling from your lips. " i-i- hh- fuck- " you whimpered, trying to think of something to say, but your mind was completely blank and filled with so many thoughts at the exact same time. there was only a brief moment of time where there wasn't anything coming from the other line, your ex so stunned that he couldn't find anything to say, but then came the barrage of insults, ones that would make you cry if you weren't being fucked so well by a man like gallagher, who was able to take your mind off of a pathetic man like your ex.
" put him on speaker, doll. let him hear you cummin' your brains out on my cock if he's so inclined. shit, i'll send him a video if he wants. whatever gets him to understand that you aren't his anymore, " gallagher growled behind you, one of his hands coming to snake around your waist, rubbing the sensitive nub between your legs with his thick, calloused thumb. you could only nod in response, sitting your phone down and turning it on speaker. you wanted him to feel horrible about everything he did to you, and you were hoping this was exactly the revenge you needed to finally get over him.
with the phone out of your hands, it was like it was entirely forgotten, especially with his finger rubbing your clit in tiny little circles. everything was building up to feel so strong inside of you, you had no idea what was happening. was it the drugs in your system making your body act up like this ? you had no idea, completely unsure what was going on. you felt this feeling in your tummy tightening as gallagher fucked you senseless, exactly like how he had promised to.
" ga-gallagher- " you whimpered out, your breath hitching in your throat. even in your fucked out state, you still managed to say something coherent, and of course it was his name. that thought only brought a satisfied grin to his face, and the older man couldn't stop himself from responding, clearly putting on a show for the person on the other end of the phone.
" what is it, my sweet ? gonna cum ? ya gonna cum on my cock like this 'nd forget all about him ? you take me so well, it's like you were made for a big, fat cock to stretch you out 'nd rearrange ya. " he was going so hard he needed to grab the headboard, his nails digging into the wood so hard that he wasn't sure if it would splinter or not, not that it even mattered. a little blood wasn't going to hurt him, and it certainly wasn't going to make him stop fucking your divine body into the perfect little cocksleeve for him. " is this your first orgasm on a cock ? you don't even know what's happenin' to ya, that's fuckin' adorable. you aint got no idea why you feel all tight down there, huh ? "
all you could do was nod helplessly against him, drooling onto the fabric of the bedsheets that was so soaked from your slick just dripping down your legs and pooling underneath you. " gonna- gonna cum, gonna cum, gallagher- pl-please- " you didn't know why you were saying please, you knew he wasn't going to stop now, not when he had a point to make of giving you the best orgasm you've ever had in your life.
" cum then, sweetie. i'll ride you through it. i'm gonna cum in this little hole of yours, okay ? you okay with that ? " you didn't give him a verbal response, just a nod of your head, but he couldn't stop himself from gently slapping your clit, making you cry out in pain, the sharpness of the sensation leaving you breathless. " say it, doll. say you want me to cum inside. you can do it, baby. "
" please- cuh-cum inside of me, gallagher- " you begged, earning you a tentative kiss on the side of your neck where he had bitten you earlier, and his finger started to rub circles around your sore clit again, perfectly timed just to make you cum.
" we're gonna cum together, okay ? let go, baby. i'm right here wi-with ya, " he couldn't stop himself from letting out a low groan, letting go of the headboard to grab your hip, dragging you on his cock as he fucked himself on you, chasing your orgasms together. with a low, animalistic growl, gallagher let go inside of you, shooting hot ropes inside of your walls as you clenched helplessly around him, the duo orgasm making you feel like you were able to blank out at any second, but you were entirely aware of your situation. he rode out the sensations with you, slowing down into gentle thrusts as he milked both of your orgasms at the same time.
when he pulled, gallagher laughed to himself, kissing the side of your neck and your nape several times as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his body against yours. " he hung up. guess we gotta call him back when we have a round two, yeah ? "
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— ♡ rationaliity 2024
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mynqzo · 5 months ago
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Different anon but yes please rant about butches
look i mean its crazy to me that love for butches is not a universal thing because they truly are holding everything on their shoulders, the stigma and the pressure and the bs that gets thrown at them and that just proves how fuckn amazing they are like. i love nerdy butches, gym rat butches, fat and hairy butches, butches with top surgery, butches on t, butches with neither / both, the absolute shameless beautiful handsome gender and expression of self. i love how happy i feel when looking at butches just living their lives and how happy they are in their own skin and [bus runs me over to stop me from talking]
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therealmylesmorales · 1 month ago
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Hi! ive read some of ur work lara croft x reader and I love them so so much you write her so well, I was wondering if u could write one with lara and fem reader asking her to give up being an archeologist (live a more safe life with her) and settle down
thank u if u ever consider this 🩷 and ty for your previous works
Anon, I hope you know that I love you and sorry this took a while
Another pick I stole borrowed from the pookie @laracroftsfiance 🫶🏾 featuring Lara’s resting sad face
WC: 1k
Do I Look Like Him?
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You hesitated by the large double oak doors. There was a hint of light you could see through the cracks so you know Lara was in there. But whether she wanted to talk to you was a different story.
Her latest research led her to South Africa; an amulet that her father had suspicions about but never had the chance to see if it was true. She was within arms reach of the jewel but multiple surprise explosions from Trinity caused it to fall into the ocean, forever lost to the sea.
But maybe it was better that way. Now, no one had to worry about it landing in the wrong hands.
Lara thought differently. She never told you what happened during this trip like she normally would. If anything, she was quiet—tense even. It worried you.
You finally tapped your knuckles on the wood before cracking it open. Lara was sitting in her chair, hunched over her desk with an old journal opened in front of her. You thought your presence in the room went unnoticed until she finally spoke to you when you walked next to her.
“Why are you still up?” She asked quietly, her full attention still not on you .
”You weren’t in bed,” you said. “I figured you would be in here especially since you should be resting.”
”I’m fine.”
”Lara, you got shot in the stomach,” you said, your tone getting sharp. “You almost died.”
She muttered out a response. “It’s not the first time I got shot, love.”
”You almost died,” you repeated. “You passed out twice as I was patching you up. Figuring out where Trinity is can wait, you need rest.”
Lara didn’t answer but seeing her jaw tightened, you could tell she was getting annoyed by the conversation. You took a second to calm yourself.
”Listen, Lara, I didn’t come here to argue with you,” you said softly. “I wanted to talk to you…about you retiring.”
”Retirement?” Lara parroted, finally giving you a look.
”Everytime you come back from wherever the hell, you seem to get closer to death,” your voice was shaky but you powered through it. “And one of these days, your luck might run out and I couldn’t live with that! A-and not to mention this obsession you have with Trinity. I get it, Lara, I really do but you’re acting like your fat—“
Lara’s sudden and sharp tone cut off your small rant, not wanting to hear those words coming from you. “Y/N! I don’t have time for this right now. I’m trying to focus but I can’t do that with you here. So…please leave.”
You both sat in tense silence. Lara never yelled, at least never at you, so safe to say this was uncharted territory. You could only stare at her back in shock, noticing that she paid more attention to the written words rather than the ones said to you.
“Fine, Lara,” you scoffed, leaving the brunette to her endeavors.
The pencil tapped against her desk, the words in front of her not being processed. “Retirement,” she repeated, the word foreign on her tongue. “I bet you never considered that.”
The picture she was talking to, one of both of her mother and father, only answered her with silence. Over her years growing up, Lara couldn’t remember most memories with her father. It was always her and her mother, and the severents of the manor. But what she did remember of her father was the arguments he had with her mother, regarding him prioritizing his over his family. Then when her mother died, he only buried himself deeper.
Maybe if he did consider retiring, things would be different for Lara. Maybe her parents would still be alive.
And instead of listening to your words, Lara seemed to be following in her father’s footsteps.
”Fuck,” Lara muttered, rubbing her hands over her face. She sat alone with her thoughts for a little longer, thinking on what to say to you.
Lara stalled for time when she cleaned up the little mess that was in her office before walking to your shared bedroom.
Lara carefully pushed the bedroom door opened, expecting to see you still awake waiting for her. Instead, your body was turned away from her, body completely covered by the heavy blankets. Lara wasn’t sure if you were awake or pretending to be asleep but she was still extra quiet when she crawled into bed next to you; she left a small amount of space between you both, not sure if you were up for cuddling.
”I’m sorry,” she whispered. Lara could hear you release a soft sigh at her apology, but you didn’t interrupted her. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
”I was only trying to help, Lara,” was all you said.
”I know. I know, and I appreciate that—you very much.” Her hand reached to caress your shoulder, urging you to turn and face her. “And…and I understand what you want. And you’re right.”
”I’m right?” Those were words you never really heard from Lara, at least seriously, so hearing this was new.
She had a hard time getting her words together. “I never…considered retiring, until you. The adventure, that’s all I’ve known. I guess you can say that I’ve grown accustomed to it, even despite my injuries. But, if it comes to you or my job, I will choose you every time.”
”Lara…”
”I will retire,” she said, placing her palm over your cheek. “And as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be with you.”
You stayed silent, searching her face for any sign of her second guessing; but all you saw was her undying love for you. Your own hand reached to cover the one that was holding your face, rubbing your thumb over Lara’s scared knuckles.
A wordless acceptance that eased most of Lara’s nerves.
”May I have a kiss?” Granted, she could get one whenever she wants but Lara didn’t know if you were too upset.
A soft smile was her answer before you softly pressed your lips against her pouted ones. And when your forehead rested against her own, Lara felt at completely ease.
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bitchimasnake-sss · 5 months ago
Note
hiii this is the anon that requested part two and i return begging for part three of tennis! zoro.
ahem.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
thanks for coming to my tedtalk! :)
in all seriousness though i would love to see a part 3 and definitely think you should have an ao3 to post longer content!! please keep up your lovely writing 💋💋 (MAKE ZORO REALLY WORK FOR IT HEHEHEHE [i was sobbing over how cute his little offerings were AND FALLING ASLEEP AT THE DOOR i cant])
UR THE ONLY ONE KEEPING ME GOING GIRLY 🎀😞. SO GLADDD YOU LIKED THAT ONE, HERE HAVE THIS ONE NOWWW. ILL MAKE ZORO EXTRAA PATHETIC FOR YOU MWUAH😚
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bitchimasnake-sss presents: the one piece AUs
03. AITA for going back to my ex? ft. roronoa zoro!
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set-up: part 03 [FINAL PART] to my badminton player!zoro au lol. you can find the first two parts here! (i recommend you read those first!) getting your heart broken when you were seventeen was inevitable, getting it broken on camera seven years later was also inevitable, it seems. but letting your ex back into your life with the glittering promises of "i'll win you back in a month?" was getting your heart broken again and again and again also inevitable? most importantly: was roronoa zoro worth your sanity? warnings: dumb people, even dumber plot by me! includes angst towards the end, zoro is an idiot trying his best to win you over! cameos by nami, sanji, perona and mihawk because i love writing them tysm. and obviously smut (hehe u nasty). nsfw thoughts include: feral!zoro. this man is nasty, he likes blood, sweat and tears. a lot of overstimulation, a little bit of bimbofication, hints of dub!con, car-sex, penetration, teasing, dirty talk, a little bit of feral!zor. OKAY THAT'S IT!! MINORS DNI OR I WILL HUNT YOU! wc: 10.6k m.list
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17th of october 11:43 p.m.
"really?" and you could hear sanji drop his precious cigarette onto the ground in pure, unaltered shock, "are you toying with me right now, love?"
"no." you replied firmly, nimble fingers getting caught against familiar, green locks as roronoa zoro pressed honeyed lips to your stomach. he trailed downwards, uncaring as your manager spluttered on the speaker.
"you are actually dating that green-haired freak?" from his tone alone, you could imagine sanji to look wide-eyed and tongue-tied. meeting the eyes of the said “green haired freak”, you found a sour expression plastered to his handsome features.
"no... well, not yet.” you swiped your fingers against his scalp, manicured fingers softly scratching the frown on his face away, “we're on a one-month trial phase."
"are you and him a netflix subscription, mon amore? what do you mean one month?" the blonde hissed. but you were far too gone, too warped within the feeling of the athlete’s soft kisses on your hiked-up thighs to even offer a hairsbreadth of attention to your critic.
"well–" as the sportsman hands trailed over your thighs all-too-intimately, you found yourself sighing blissfully, "he said he wants a month to win me back.”
“that is insane.”
“maybe. but his time starts today, so, we have until 17th of november to come to some sort of conclusion." zoro didn’t dare still against your soft skin. kneading the fat of your hips, pressing hot kisses to thighs and nipping at fading bruises to renew them. but you tightened your grip on his locks, tipping his head backwards as you pulled on them. glaring at him, you breathed out a warning, “either he cleans his act up, or i leave him in the dust."
but who was roronoa zoro if not the man made to get on your nerves?
his mouth fell agape as his eyes met yours, and a soft moan tumbling past him at the sharp sting of your pull. that wayward moan soon turned into a grunt as the sportsman toyed with the band of your shorts.
“stop that.” you whispered, eyes growing wide as the blonde on the other end of the speaker continued his distressed rants.
"and what do i do about it?!" for the first time in the five years vinsmoke sanji had been your manager, you heard his voice shake in panic, "you two just broke up! in front of the cameras! like a week ago!"
"it's fine, sanji. people get together all the time—"
"—not if they're olympic level athletes!"  
"hey, you have no idea how much shit goes down in the olympic village." you shrugged, "last time 160k condoms were given out, and people flew threw them like it was nothing. there’s lots of crying. and fucking too, actually. sometimes both, now that i think about it."
“rabid monsters.”
“don’t be jealous. athletes just have a lot of stamina.” while you were busy rolling your eyes at the blonde and his dramatic antics, zoro climbed back up over you. a smirk on his lips, flashing you his canines, and mouthing “really? stamina?”
clad in a fitted, black tank top, your eyes drifted down to his arms and chest. shamelessly staring at the muscles flexing and unflexing under the flimsy material, you brought your free hand to run wild against his bicep. finding his index under your jaw, he tilted your face up to meet his eyes again. you smiled up at him without much thought and his heart stuttered out in the rhythm of his shallow breaths. fuck you for being so pretty.
before you could nod and ask what he wanted, he pressed a chaste kiss against your lips. next, he sunk his face in the crook of your neck. you felt the nip of his sharp canines against your sensitive pulse. but that sly bastard. all of that was to distract you from the way he dipped his hand under your shorts and pulled your panties aside.
“zo–“ you started slowly, but it was all in vain. the man above you was on a mission. and that mission was apparently to get your own manager to report you as a sex offender or something?! atleast that’s what it felt like from the way he rubbed his thumb against your sensitive clit. 
“either ways.” your manager huffed, ignoring the way your breath hitched at the new bruises against your neck and the stuttering swipes of his thumb against your folds, “this is still insane.”
"weren’t–” you gulped, trying to keep your voice steady, “you were the one saying that my job is to playand yours’ to take care of such things, so, do that.”
“and i can! i can fix it.” you heard a thud ring through the speaker and imagined that the blonde had fallen back onto his back helplessly, “but i need time to fix this. gotta talk to nami-san, and then i will need to fix the narrative using the media. i need time.”  
barely raising his lips off of your narcotic skin – with a flushed face and husky voice – zoro replied coolly, “don’t worry, nami’s on our side with this one.”
“HUH?! WHO WAS THAT?”
pinching the taut skin of the athlete’s bicep as a warning to stay shut, your tone stayed sickly sweet, “who? ‘twas the wind, sanji.”
“don’t try to sway me with your use of ‘twas.” he hissed like a wet cat, “is that mosshead here right now? is he in your room right now?!”
“and if you’re worried about the paps, roronoa will buy them out, you know?” as if to protest against your suggestion, zoro flicked his thumb faster against your swollen nub. you glared at him. “a-and if you’re worried someone will see us, they won’t. we won’t go public with it.”
“none of those suave answers.” sanji firmly stated, “answer what I asked first. is he there right now?”
you whistled a soft, “dunno what you’re talking about…” before drawing your phone away from your face, “because that’s blasphemous!!” purposefully covering the speaker with your palm, “hey, hey? sanji- hello? can’t hear… hear you right now. hello?”
you heard a muffled, “DON’T YOU DARE PULL THAT ON ME OR SO GOD HELP ME–“
“still can’t hear you.” your thumb hovered over the red button, “g’night, sanji!”
beep.
“i’m paying for the paps?”
trying to push his weight off of your relatively smaller frame, you huffed out, “c-can’t you stay shut when i ask you to, roronoa?”
in retaliation, he pressed more of his body weight onto you. snuggling his face into your crook and inhaling your scent like a man crazed, his fingers kept toying against you like it was as easy as breathing.
you tried to push him off again, gritting out, “do you think a good dick is enough of a reason to come back? cause it is not.”
“it is one of the reasons, is it not?”
“no. is it not.” you repeated, “shut it, and find a new strategy or something.”
“fine, tsk.” and with that the sportsman got off of you. pulling his hand out of your flimsy shorts, leaving behind your aching body as he got up. standing at the door, he looked back just to delve his long fingers past his lips to suck down on your essence. smiling as he pulled out, he made his conclusion in one, swift word, “sweet.”
and you just threw a pillow at him, face flaming up at the way he just simply caught the pillow and threw it right back at you, “fuck off, roronoa.”
“hm?” he cocked his eyebrow, careful hands still not attempting to open the door and leave, “I’ll just head back to my room, then.”
you found yourself crossing your arms over your chest, half to give him attitude and other half to soothe the skin that had been alit with his body over yours, “go, then. you’re the one who wandered in my room with unholy intentions.”
somebody could mistake his as the reincarnation of the devil with the way he was grinning. all unholy thoughts and malicious actions, “you’re the one still laying, waiting for me to do something.”
at his (correct) accusations, you sat up haughtily. adjusting the tank top and pulling it upwards, you found yourself glaring at the towering man for the nth time, “you’re insufferable. is this how you’re gonna win me back?”
“hey,” he shrugged, broad shoulders moving up and down with delicate ease, “worked the first time, didn’t it?”
“i was seventeen.” your eyes narrowed, “and you used to be way more handsome back then. it won’t work this time around.”
he hummed again, and within his cocky tone you could anticipate he had something to nag you with, “so i was handsome to you? that’s adorable.”
“fucking insufferable.”
“but handsome nonetheless?” and you almost threw your phone at his pretty face when he just grinned and exited the room. actually, no. you almost threw your phone when you realized that you were blushing, and fighting off a smile as he left your room.
what was this man doing to you?! ──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
19th of october, 7:58 p.m.
🍓attempt 01: no limits.
“okay, and i have no limits?” you asked again, just to ensure that you heard him right.
“yes, you do not.”
“and you’re not gonna sue me for using your money?”
“no, i will not. i don’t think i can legally.” he sighed, “do you wanna do it or not?”
“i do, but…” zoro's heavy voice kissed your ears, cutting you off, "then, stop whining. no buts, no ifs.”
“is this really how you’re gonna win me over?” mumbling, your lips fell into an easy pout, “feels more like bribery.”  
“nami said the quickest way to a woman's heart is shopping. or just cold, hard cash, really. but i figured this was more romantic." tilting his face downwards, his voice dropped down to a whisper, “does it feel romantic yet?”
goddamn that freak!
your skin erupted into a violent goosebump as you felt his words against your soft skin. your face heated up as your fingers stilled against the keypad of your laptop, the home page of your favorite shopping site pulled up and resting neatly. ready to do some damage on his wallet. well, honestly, what damage? he was a well-paid nepo baby who had a personal gym and court in his house. this would probably barely feel like a pinch to him.
“again, i ask for your consent.” you asked anyways, trying to remind yourself to be a business-savvy woman who had only come to absolutely wreck his wallet. zoro declared monotonously, “i give it with full consciousness. jesus, woman.”
“okay then, no taksies backsies.” you cleared your throat in anticipation. stretching your fingers slowly as they hovered over the keyboard. his arms wrapped around your middle and you fell against his chest with a soft thud, “start already.”
“what’s even the reason for this?”
“your manager said we can’t go out, like in public. and blondie hates me enough as it is right now. so, i didn’t wanna risk taking you shopping outside.” roronoa zoro found himself revelling in your dishevelled demeanour. voice honeyed, he rasped out, “what’s wrong with my room, though? nice ‘n comfy, isn’t it?”
“I meant what is the reason for me to sit on your fucking lap?”
“oh that?” he was laying in his bed, with you atop him and your laptop atop you. you grumbled on, “and is it necessary to do this in your room? the living room is a perfectly perfect place to shop online.”  
“you want me to get handsy in front of my father? that’s too much. the old man would probably die if he saw me like that.” he hummed, “not sure he’s ever even done anything. you know, given both me and ‘rona are adopted.”
you glared back at him at the shit he spewed but then your eyes widened as realization sunk in, “holy shit is he a forty year old... virgin?”
“dunno.”
“but he’s like emo, and vampirish. there’s no way he didn’t get some during the twilight era.”
“he was also the world champion at that time,” zoro reminisced, “he must have gotten girls.”
a laugh escaped you by, “zoro.” you stressed, “you’re the world champion right now. and the tally of girls you get is at a great zero.”
zoro mulled over your words before slowly shifting his pelvis so that you fell back at him unexpectedly, “not zero. got a girl on my lap right now.”
his laugh echoed yours as he held you tighter, and you tried to wriggle free, “jus’ cause you’re paying. no other reason.”
“how does it feel to lie to yourself?” he asked with mock grievance in his tone, and you tried to elbow his side to break free, “die.”
“kill me yourself, coward.”
“i will.” you admitted, still laughing as he decided to somehow tighten his grip even more firmly, “don’t. you’d look horrible in orange.”
“how dare you, roronoa zoro.” your palm struck his forearm playfully, “do not talk about my fashion choices when you shower once a week.” 
“nobody had a problem with it thus far,” he answered back easily, “but if you have a problem, i suppose i could shower semi-regularly.”
“semi-regularly?” you almost coughed up a hairball, “jesus christ, i don’t think i would able to fuck you ever again.”
“liar.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
22nd of October, 7:43 a.m.
🍓attempt 02: the way to the heart is through the stomach (i think??)
“roronoa.”
“father.”
“what are you doing in my kitchen right now?” the man raised a careful eyebrow, staring at his dishevelled son who he had caught not a minute earlier bickering with a red-head on his phone.
“cooking,” zoro deadpanned, “i'm trying to make waffles.”
his fathers hawk-like gaze swept over the kitchen. flour sprinkled over counter-tops, some on his cheek, a batter that looked more radioactive that the what remained of Chernobyl. the older man drawled on, “and i presume you know how to cook?”
“no. she's helping.” he flashed his father his phone-screen and the familiar, scorned woman who was on video-call. when she caught sight of mihawk, she smiled, “sir mihawk, how are you?”
“just passing by. come by for dinner someday, nami.” the man deadpanned and the manager laughed, “of course. how can I refuse?”
now his hawk-like stare was trained on zoro, who stared back at his father as if they were sworn enemies on court, “what is it, now?”
“is it for her?”
“who else?”
 “don’t burn my house down.”
“understood.”
and with that brief conversation, mihawk disappeared back into the mazes of his house, and zoro went back to bickering with the red-head.
“you add milk.” she emphasized, clicking her manicured nails together as she tried to guide an idiot to build the equivalent of rome, “do you not know what milk is?”
“i have enough calcium in my bones and I will not fall for scams like milk or medical insurance.”
“what?” she spluttered, “y-you don’t have insurance?!”
“when am I ever gonna need it, woman?”
“oh my god. you don’t have insurance!” and the last thing zoro saw the manager do was flip him off as she ran to some place elsewhere. possibly to get him some sort of medical insurance that he totally didn’t need. beep.
zoro’s fingers hovered over his contact list, the next stop being perona neesan 💗👻 .
“'rona.” zoro grumbled as he caught the face of perona on the other side. huge sunglasses were perched on her nose, a silky bandana flowing from her coloured hair, “awh, you remember me, zoro. finally.”
“quit that,” he mumbled helplessly before turning the back camera, “i need your help.”
“you’re committing arson at dad’s place?” she raised her sunnies so as to see the kitchen better. flour everywhere, and whatever the fuck was in that batter. kissing her teeth, she admitted, “i mean i don’t endorse violence… but that kitchen could use a makeover.”
“no. jesus, perona.” he turned to camera around to his face, “i– uh, i need to make waffles. an’ i don’t know shit. can you help or what?”
“huh?” her bug-like eyes widened impossibly wider, “yeah, obviously i can. but why are you cooking? is dad dying? and is his last wish to eat burnt waffles?”
“haha, funny.”
“wasn’t being funny. you have like... two left hands.”
“just to remind you, i’m ambidextrous.” zoro replied, poker-faced, and perona pouted, “who are you making them for, then?”
“myself.”
“liar.” narrowing her eyes, she probed further, “is it your ex? oh my god. are you guys actually together?”
“what?” zoro narrowed his eyes in return, “fuck off, ‘m not asking you for help.” he sighed, “where did you even hear about that?”
“it’s her?!” the goth girl squealed, “and you didn’t tell me?! I thought it was regular PR stuff that nami dragged you into. but she’s back? i remember how you sobbed when–”
“bye, 'rona. don’t call me back.” beep.
roronoa zoro had barely breathed when his elder sister called back. he picked it up with a groan, “what? I’m not answering your stupid questions.”
“okay fine.” she huffed, “’m not gonna ask you about your pathetic, little crush right now. keyword: right now.”
“perona.” he tried to threaten but the woman just leaned forward till her face was all zoro could see, “show me some respect, i’m older than you.”
“sorry.” the green-haired mumbled and his sister nodded in self-satisfaction, “and as far as waffles as concerned, don’t cook. you’d burn the house down. just order them in and say you made them.”
“isn’t that like, practically lying?”
“it is, yes.”  
“and aren’t you gonna tell me how it’s morally wrong to do that?”
“it’s a fucking waffle, zoro. not the olympics.” she finally pulled the sunnies back to her face and carefully perched them on her nose again, “nobody cares about cheating. just win her over, and thank me later.”
“you’re a bad influence, you know that?” a small smile cracked across his face, “oh, by the way–” the sportsman quirked an eyebrow, “do you have health insurance?”  
“i mean, who doesn’t?”
“me.”
“what?”
“nothing. thanks, i appreciate it.” the goth girl eyes widened all over again and zoro cut the call before her concerns could reach him.
8:55 a.m.
“you know what’s insane?” you mumbled through a mouthful, “i can swear that joanna’s bakery down the street makes these exact waffles.”
“do they?” zoro leaned forward, pouring more syrup to distract you, “that’s wild.”
“it is.” you nodded before taking another mouthful, “you know what else is insane?”
“how much of a good cook i am?” he tried, before having a bite himself.
“no.” you smiled at the way he gulped down the sweet breakfast up, “the fact that i swear i saw a brown bag with their logo in the trash, and now these waffles taste exactly like theirs.”
zoro froze, eyes trained on the mess of fried batter and syrup. he slowly looked up, “that’s insane, indeed.” he averted his gaze as you deadpanned, “you’re a terrible liar.”
“isn’t that an ideal quality though?” he tried again, “like, i could never lie to you.”
“mhm,” you nodded as a smile pressed to your lips, “try harder next time.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
25th of october, 10:03 p.m.
🍓attempt 03: with love, from an idiot.
“if this backfires, then what?” the man asked, and you could only make out faint noises from his phone. a faint, “if it backfires, then, you don’t get the girl, genius.” but nothing beyond that could deciphered as you stood with your ear to the door of your room.
“are you done?” you knocked at your door when the bickering on the other end ceased momentarily. the wood echoed under your faint hits as you called out again, “can I come in or what?”
there was no answer and you busied yourself with tracing the pattern of wood on the door once over. your forehead touched the cold wood, frustrated at yourself for allowing that beast to take over your territory.
zoro had waltzed into your room and declared that he was going to kick you out of your own room.
“huh?” you had mumbled, too confused at the way he tugged your arm and tried to push you outwards, “no way I’m leaving. fuck no.”
“I need like half an hour. I promise–”
“–if you intend to paint my room green, zoro.” you had barely started when he asked you to leave again. so, obviously, you both bickered for a good five minutes, got yelled at by mihawk cause you two were interrupting his wine drinking hour, and proceeded to bicker in whispers before you had to finally cave in and go out.
now, you were sitting in front of the closed door, and tracing patterns in the hope that sooner or later, your territory will be given back to you.  
“yeah, come on in.” you heard the man finally yell back from the other side, and you sprung up to your feet in part-excitement, part-fear. your fingers tried to turn the sleek metal handle to swing it open. except it wouldn’t open. moving it front and back, your eyebrows bunched when the door refused to budge open.
“what the fuck?” and to your surprise the green-head on the other side yelled back, “jesus, stop trying to break open the door.”
“it won’t open!”
“because I’m trying to open it for you.” he hissed back, “and you’re pulling from the other side. stop it.”
“you stop it.”
“if you could just let me do that for you. fuck–” the door swung inwards with such abrupt, wicked force that you almost kissed the ground face-first. glaring up at the man, you seethed, “what was that for?”
“i was trying to be a gentleman.”
you straightened up, squaring your shoulders defensively, “don’t. you’re barely a fully-functioning man.”
while you were waiting for him to counter you with his regular flirting disguised as hostility, instead his face softened and he apologized, “sorry. come on in?”
“huh?” your shoulders went slack, eyes narrowing at his broad figure as you walked past him and into the room.
the lights were dim.
“what’s this?” your eyes scanned the place, he had made a pillow fort on the ground with whatever haphazard sheets and pillows you had been hoarding in the room. the tv in your room showed a still from netflix: Ten Things I Hate About You.
you bent down, thumb and forefinger raising the sheets upwards to properly see inside, you saw packs of chips and instant ramen, coke and chocolates stashed to the side.
still frozen, you found him meekly call out your name, “do you hate it? do you? you do, right?” you heard the door lock behind you, “i can undo it, it’ll take me like ten minutes tops. it is literally not a big deal, i’ll take it down.” his voice dropped down to a whisper, “jesus fuck, I told nami this was stupid.”
he knelt next to you, forearms stretched forward as if he was itching to pull the flimsy housing to shreds. your hand grabbed his, face turning to meet his shy one.
“you did this for me?”
“uh,” he hesitated, “remember, blondie said no going out. so, I thought i’d try… this?” his voice grew weak, “you hate it.”
“you did it for me?” you repeated, almost in disbelief.
he sighed methodically, “who else?”
a grin broke on your face, “i didn’t take you for a romantic, roronoa.”
he shrugged off the goosebumps that threatened to break on his body at your reaction, “pfft. whatever. it’s not a… it’s not a big deal. nami helped… so, yeah.”
“you even put on my one of my favourite movies.”
“yeah, yeah.” the sportsman stood up, walking away from you to duck inside the fort and arrange the food items. but you could see his ear-tips growing redder, coy eyes carefully avoiding yours, “you’re, uh, you’re welcome.”
“but if you’re trying to impress me.” you followed suit, “this is not gonna work.”
he turned back to stare at you. a deer in headlights. “’s not?”
“well, I know you’re not a romantic. nami surely is though, it seems.” you settled down on the comfy mattress, turning your body so that it faced the wall the tv was plastered on, “i know this won’t happen again once we’re actually dating.”
“hey, it’s not like I’m not romantic at all. see, i’ve been doing well these couple of months. i think?” he tried to defend but you cut him, “you’re off season right now. once you have your five a.m. trainings and regular matches, you’d forget I even exist. you forget to eat, to fucking breathe when it comes to your game. a whole ass human?” you found yourself scoffing, “you would give up in a day. and that’s me just speculating based on observing you from afar per these past few months.”
he fell silent, probably reeling from your accurate observation. you sighed, trying to ease the unnecessary tension you had created, “i’m not attacking you, zoro.”
features downcast, lips pulled into an emotionless straight line. he repeated, “you’re speculating based on observing me from afar per these past few months?”
you probably should have drawn the line here, probably should have said okay and turned on the movie. but you were so well-versed in the language of self-destruction that someone should arrange a fucking pulitzer for you.
“you’re a sportsman first, son next.” you prayed your voice held atleast an inch of sympathy as you did a neat, little character assassination of the poor man. “as much as I appreciate the gesture, I am not sure where lover falls on that priority list. you like the chase, the idea… that i am something grand.” you stilled, “but i’m not. i am not an olympic medal, or a grand slam title. i'm just some woman.”
“you’re not just some woman.” he breathed slowly. “i suppose you have a point. i am not a lover. my hands find the racket before they find a bouquet, my words find silence before they do declarations of love. i- i don’t how to… just love.” he repeated to plead his case.
and this was it.
you barely held your breath as the man next to confirmed just who he was. he was not a lover. he was the number one on the global charts. and how selfish had you been to demand that he be anything but that demon on court?
“but,” zoro proved you wrong. “i wouldn’t have sacrificed long days and sleepless nights for just some woman. you underestimate how much you mean to me.” his breath grew strained, words unsure as if it was the first time he was telling the truth, “five years is a long, long time to come back home and yearn for your arms.”
you didn’t turn your head to gawk at him even though every cell in you wanted to. every inch of you wanted to turn your head, grab his face in your smaller palms and ask him to confess just how much you meant to him. but you were not sure you could listen to him come up empty handed like a fish out of water. you were not sure you wanted to find out just how easily roronoa zoro could break your heart.
but as the two of you fell into silence, your eyes zeroed in on the zooming in and out title card on tv instead, “let’s jus’ watch.”
“you mean everything to me. always have, always will.” you felt his palm on yours, and you flinched at his careful touches. pulling your hand back to your chest, you felt the familiar speeding up of your heart against your ribcage, “don’t. zoro, please.”
“don’t what?” he tried to ask, tried to turn toward you with anticipation making a home in his irises and vile thoughts on his lips.
don’t what? you tried to find the answer to the very same question. don’t what? what did you want to say to him? was it “please don’t make me think you could love me all over again.” or “please don’t break my heart again.” or just a simple “don’t say another word or i’d find myself risking it all for you. and i cannot stand to be the fool who fell for you yet again.”
just a series of unfortunate ‘agains’, it seemed.
instead, you turned your body towards his, tentative hands coming up to hold his face in yours before falling back to the mattress. you raked in a forbidden sigh, the sound so loud in the eerily quite room. finally looking at him, you found yourself growing dumber.
somehow, like this – vulnerable – he looked like just another twenty-two year old. not a world champion. not somebody capable of destroying you.  
“i am not sure i’m ready to get my heart broken by you again.” you confessed slowly, like a coward. “i am not sure i can celebrate my next birthday, just to beg some meaningless god above for you once more.”
“then don’t.” his eyes drifted downwards, heartsick fingers twitching as they inched closer to your warmth. his words were low, like yet another coward. “don’t ask for me back if i break your heart again.”
was it that simple?   
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
26th of october, 8:09 a.m.
you woke up with open packets and stacked cups of ramen on the floor, some episode of friends blaring on the tv and zoro stirring you awake.
sunlight filtered through the window, streaming in and pouring through the linen onto the man in front you. he was pretty, achingly so. his hair was tousled, lips parted, and thick brows bunched together like he was playing a match right now, “wake up.”
“huh?” rubbing your eyes, you tried to blink sleep away but instead grew more confused the longer you ruminated about his words, “what?”
“up and runnin’.” he repeated, “i need you.”
“need me?” your face contorted to show pure, unadulterated confusion, “zoro, ‘slike eight a.m.? can’t you wait a while?”
something nostalgic stirred within you as he smiled and bent down to face you easily. did the sun always get caught against his frame like he was a deity with a chokehold on you?
his smile was easy-going, and suddenly, you were fourteen year olds planning to ‘run away’ from home because you wanted to see the world. his voice shook you out of the daze, “get your head out of the gutter. didn’t mean it that way.”
“huh?” you couldn’t even find yourself growing offended amid your sleep-infused, hazed state. “what do you mean then?”
he tugged on your arms to help you sit up, “we’re going on a road trip.”
“we… are?” your expression grew awry, “where?”
“pack up and meet me outside,” he stood up, “you’d find out once we get there.” 
“but zoro, hey–” you tried calling out. but it was futile as he walked out of the room, and you stay seated in the mess of sheets and pillow and tried to make sense of what was and what is.
5:42 p.m. 🍓attempt 04: next destination: love!
zoro stared at his phone for what seemed like an eternity. your gaze shifted from him to the deserted road and back to him. the dull sun inching near the horizon skeptically as if watching you two making a fool of yourselves. the winds were warm, and your road-trip was in the hands of an absolute idiot.
you slumped back into the leather, muttering, “should’ve never let you navigate.”
“let me concentrate, woman.” he huffed as his forefinger and thumb zoomed in on the unknown streets on his maps.  
“how do you ever go anywhere?! your navigation powers are in the negatives.” tone haughty, you turned around to stare at him, “what kind of grown ass man gets confused on google maps? it literally said go straight!”
“i did go straight.” he turned to stare at you, tone just as haughty. “and i have a driver usually, i don’t drive by myself.”
“you went straight?” you repeated, somewhat amused by his ability to get lost on a straight highway. you craned your head, eyes peering past the black, tinted windows to stare at the deserted road, “and we ended up here? near a ghost town?”
“hold on.” he shifted his attention to the useless app pulled up on his phone screen. his face bunched up in irritation, throwing his phone on the dash-board before shifting the gear to start moving, “no point staying in one place, let’s keep movin’ and we will eventually figure it out.”
“figure what out?” you groaned, slumping back all over again, “atleast tell me where we’re going.”
“surpr–” you cut him off, “there would be no surprise if we never reach it!”
“okay, fair.” he breathed in slowly as the SUV made its way down the deserted road, passing by curated farms only inhabited by scarecrows. he sighed, “if we don’t figure out the road by nightfall, i’ll tell you.”
10:53 p.m.
“so,” zoro avoided your heated gaze, finally admitting the truth, “guess we’re lost."
“yes. yes we are, roronoa.”
“and it’s nightfall, so, i should tell you the destination.”
“yes. yes you should, roronoa.”
“don’t use that tone with me.” he tried meekly and your eyes narrowed in response, “why? are you scared?”
“no.” he cleared his throat, trying to sound like his usual self as he looked around in the lonely diner. the wooden table was rickety, the theme of the diner felt vintage-y, but in a way that was more unused than vintage. a lone, old woman waited behind the counter as you both munched on your dinner. once done with his inspection, he continued, “but it’s unnerving. you sound like nami, and she’s a witch as far as i know. red-head, you know.”
“you have moss-green hair, roronoa.”
“witches support witches.” he emphasized, and in return, a witch-like laugh past your lips, “you should be unnerved. good, because i feel like i have no choice but to sacrifice you in a satanic ritual to go back home now.”
the old woman behind the counter looked at you with utter dread in her eyes but you were too busy stabbing your fork in your grilled cheese, “now, spill. where were we going?”
he sighed, “home.”
“home?” you repeated, “home?”
“i thought i’d take you back to our childhood home,” his voice trailed off.
“why?”
why that wretched place? the place that become bleak, repetitive once you were left all alone five years ago, once he left in the blink of an eye. you routine had become monotonous after him: badminton court, school, home, practice, home, practice, home, sleep. rinse and repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat.
pursing his lips together, he looked down at his plate, “for old time’s sake, i guess?”
“old time’s sake?”
“there was a time when neither of us hated that little, suburban town.” he grinned, “remember that park with the broken swings?”
“that shit was haunted.” you took a bite, conspiring through a mouthful, “i mean why else was it never fixed?”
he continued, “and that public swimming pool? how was every guard there a creep?”
“except dave.” you nodded in agreement, a slight smile playing on your lips, “dave was cool.” 
"he liked you so much, it was stupid." zoro huffed before popping a french fry in his mouth.
“you're the one to talk. do you remember courtney?” you grinned, shoving an index in his direction, “she had suchhh a huge crush on you in middle-school. it was honestly confusing.”
“why was it confusing?”
“you looked like a kiwi,” and you laughed when his eyebrows bunched together and he almost pouted, “i believe it was you that liked this kiwi.”  
“tch, that was lifetimes ago.” your voice softened as he stayed quiet, the two of you just looking at each other as if registering each other’s silence as the only, absolute truth. the knife lodged in your grilled cheese slipped past your grip and a soft clang rang out as it hit your porcelain plate. you hummed, “should’ve told me we’re going back. i would have helped you navigate, zoro.”
“’sfine.” he shook his head, right hand coming up to scratch the itch away and re-set the strands of hair, “we can just head back. if we leave now, we’d reach by dawn. it’s pointless to go back to that old town now.”
you sighed, fingers interlocking as you slumped back against the worn out seat. the booth was cold against your back, the light bulb flickering momentarily as the two of you existed in a place far removed from reality, a place where the two of you were just twenty-somethings eating dinner at a worn-out diner.
“are you done eating?” you asked once he pushed his plate away. he nodded and you found yourself tugging his arm to leave the diner.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, confused, as he trailed after you. you glanced back once, “if we keep moving forward, we’d probably figure it out, right?” you stilled, turning fully to face him, “let’s go home, yeah?”
if roronoa zoro could, he would follow you to the miserable depths of hell. what was a small town compared to that?
he nodded, “yeah.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
27th of october, 6:29 p.m.
“this is it, huh?” you stared at the massive suburban home in front of you. the lawn was trimmed, kept nice and clean as you two stood in front of what was once your humble abode.
your family had sold the place once you expressed that you wanted to move away to do better in your profession, and you had never had the heart to come back and check who bought the place or who didn’t.
“wanna walk around town?” zoro offered his palm, albeit a bit hesitantly, “let’s see what has changed.”  
well, that small creak behind your middle school had dried up, now littered with popped soda cans and torn packs of chip. cigarette butts stuck between jagged rocks and dried leaves. the ‘haunted’ park was still not fixed, but you saw little children running around, the scarfs against their tiny frames flying behind them momentarily as they chased each other around. and the leaves on the ground stirred like they were alive under their light footsteps. the old public badminton court had been renovated, it seemed, and the streetlights had been upgraded to a softer orange-y shade rather than the harsh white you both grew up under.
“they made another mall where the theatre was.” zoro commented as you both walked by what used to be your old cinema hall.
“you remember the theatre?” you asked as your eyes raked over the looming white structure with faces of celebrities plastered onto hoardings with the bold declarations of ‘now playing’.
“of course,” he shrugged, muscled arms methodically going up and down, “we had our first date there.”
“it wasn’t a date. you told me you wanted to catch the movies and then you tried to hold my hand for the next two hours.” you emphasized, kicking the dried twigs on the sidewalk. zoro joined in, lazily kicking fallen leaves and scoffing, “perona said it was. i even bought you caramel popcorn.”
and you found yourself giggling, “you even remember the flavour?”
“i remember everything.” his tone appeared to be nonchalant, “a white tank-top with strawberries on it and a blue-wash jeans, that’s what you were wearing.”
you lips pressed together, “can’t believe you remember that.” you came up to softly poke his side, “who would’ve thought you’re a romantic?”
“yeah, yeah.” he rolled his eyes, biting down an infectious smile, “i just have a good memory.”
“good memory?” you scoffed, “how come you’re such a bad navigator then?”
“tch, i’m just a bit geographically challenged.”
you laughed as your footsteps fell one in front of the other, and he trailed behind wordlessly.
as zoro saw you walk in front of him, your dainty hands interlocking so you could stretch them overhead and the way you looked back at him to beckon him towards you, so as to follow you faster. all of it made his heart twist unnaturally in the pit that was his chest. all of it.
next, you both passed your old high-school. standing at the metallic fence, the sun dipped far below the horizon as the streetlights behind you flickered and came alive. the two of you stood behind the metallic, looking at the buildings that had seen you grow in it’s hallways. when you sighed, the air fogged up just a tiny bit, “your blue jersey from state championships, and black jeans. white adidas too.”
“hm?” zoro cocked his head to your side, and you continued, “that’s what you were wearing on our not-date.”
“you remember?”
you pressed your forehead to the metal, the cold fence digging indentures onto your forehead, “of course i remember. i actually have a good memory.”
the two of your stood in frigid silence and the nightly winds grew stronger around you both. you pulled back, turning your face towards zoro, “it’s growing cold, wanna head back to the car?”
his thumb came up to ease away the red markings on your forehead, the friction of his touches melting away the cold essence of the metal. once he was satisfied with his damage control on your forehead, he nodded, “one more pit stop, then, let’s head back.”
10:02 p.m.
the car was parked in the middle of the field where you had spent reckless evenings just like this with zoro five years prior, to the very field where you had last seen him before he left without a word.
you remembered that cruel night as if it was your whole existence. it might as well have been considering how many time you had replayed the same night in your head over and over and over again, wondering if you had done something stupid.
you had sneaked out of your home, and he had sneaked here after his practice was finally over. his hair was sweaty, boyish features coloured a brutal shade of petrified as he approached you under the night sky.
“what’s wrong?” you had asked once you had noticed his downcast eyes and his shivering hands.
“nothing.” zoro had pressed his lips into a thin smile, “’m just tired from the practice.”
“oh?” you held his palm in yours, pressing a sweet kiss to it, “don’t worry, soon you’d win the state championship and then we would have all the time in the world to hang out, right?”
maybe you should have understood it right then when roronoa zoro simply nodded and looked away you. he had never been a good liar anyways. 
that night, you both had sat down on the ground. staring up at the night sky, you had traced the constellations with your finger-tips and made false promises of a candied future that never came by. the soft grass under you both had tainted your cream coloured shorts green that day. yet another cruel reminder of him, yet another proof that he and you were real, yet another physical evidence of the love that once was.
“why’re we here?” you couldn’t be bothered masking up the irritability in your voice. the raw edges of hurt cut right back your mortal body as you stepped out of the passenger seat.
“c'mon.” that’s all zoro said as he lend you a hand and helped you climb the car’s roof top.
“zoro.” you repeated sternly, but he just helped you up without much explanation. once you were perched on the metallic frame, he climbed up and your voice momentarily wobbled, “a-are we sure the roof’s not gonna break?”
“no, ‘snot.” he clarified, slowly inching closer to you till you could feel his body warmth against your arm.
tilting your face upwards, you drunk in the sight of the malevolent sky littered with heavy, grey clouds that covered the usual litter of stars; so cruel but so pretty underneath it all.
zoro pulled his knees to his chest, softly perching his chin atop them with a sigh, “pretty, isn’t it?”
“why’re we here of all places?” you pulled your knees to your chest, mirroring his actions.
“it felt wrong to leave without seeing this place once.” he admitted softly, “d’you hate it that much?”
“yes. i do.” you nodded, burying your face against the jagged, scarred skin of your knees. you hated this place, and the pair of green-stained cream shorts in your cupboard were nothing if not the proof of that.
“such a shame,” he sighed, “’s a pretty place.”
“zoro–” but he cut you off, “we’ve changed so much in these five years, haven’t we? let’s get to know each other again.” he lifted his head to look at you, “what’s your favourite hobby?”
you scoffed, “you’re kidding.”
“i’m not.”
“did perona put you upto this?” your eyes narrowed, head still tipped back to stare at the grumbling sky, “or nami.”
“no.” he stressed, “my hobby is probably playing pool now. luffy put me onto it, it‘s kinda cool.”    
“i thought sleeping was your favourite past-time.” you turned to look away from the sky and at him but somehow couldn’t. you sighed, slowly admitting, “that was what you always said in interviews.”
“did you stalk me via interviews?”
you tucked your knees one over the other and straightened up, “says the man who watched every match where I got my ass handed to me.”
“i never said i did or didn’t stalk you.”
“you also didn’t say that you won’t break my heart again.” his eyes were boring into yours as you turned your face to finally find his, “you just said to not pray for you back.”
“would you believe me if i told you i won’t break your heart?”
traces of sleep lingered in his eyes, patterns from guilt long-gone-by traced onto his cheeks. you realized with a certain ache that you would probably believe this man if he told you he made the colosseum in his past life, and that he was Genghis Khan re-incarnated. but the fact that he won’t break your heart again? doubtful.
you turned your face back to the thundering clouds. they flashed a myriad of colours and loud sounds enveloped your mortal figures as they churned impatiently above you. you heaved in a breath. slowly exhaling, you asked, “when i lost women’s doubles against the boa sisters, you know what they said to me?”
you believed he knew the answer, being an interview-stalker himself. but he played along, “what?”
“they asked me if you broke up with me because I threaten your legacy as number one, zoro.” a deep sigh passed you by, “since i’m still number two, and from the looks of it they don’t think i’ll be one any time soon.” a mirthless laugh escaped your lips, “honestly, i don’t think I’ll be one any time soon.”
“do you really think i give a crap about shit like that?” zoro raised his face fully, widened eyes looking at you as if you had just accused him of skinning men alive.
“why else would you leave everything behind to be number one, roronoa?”
to you it was clear. he wanted to be number one, so, he left everything behind to be it. simple as that. he wanted to go after his dreams, so, he sacrificed everything he loved. you just happened to be unfortunate enough to be one of those things he loved. simple as that.
“i promised someone.” he finally admitted when you stayed silent, “back when i was in foster care.”
“what?” you found yourself turning your face to look at his, and the man who stared back at you seemed to be a man ravaged and hunted, like a mere prey for guilt.
roronoa zoro had never kept any secrets from you. never. not when he met you as a kiwi-looking middle-schooler at thirteen, and not when he was about to be twenty-three a decade later. no secrets other than his past in foster care. you knew mihawk adopted him when he was eleven, and perona when she was fifteen but no more than that. his past in the foster-care, that one was off-limits.
no questions, no answers.
and you had never pushed. it was something he wanted to forget and you’d be damned if you brought his demons to his under the pretence of harmless curiosity. that was it.
no questions, no answers.
then why was he speaking of it now?
“i only had this one friend. no. she was more like a sister, really.” his eyes hardened, “kuina. she was obsessed with this game, and i hadn’t even heard of it. every fucking time she got her hands on the tv to the communal room, she would turn on sports channel and tear through them till she found one playing re-runs of badminton.”
your muscles ached, and suddenly you were reminded of the air you had ceased to breath in. zoro continued, “she used to drag me to play, and then she used to beat my fucking ass at it. every fucking time. then, one night…” his voice grew thicker, like tar lodged right in his larynx, “she told me that one day, she would make it out of that shitty foster system and she would be number one.”
“somehow, seven year old me thought it would be fun to argue with her. so, i told her ‘no, i’d be number one and you’d be watching.’ she told me no. she had every right to. she was a better player than I was. she deserved this more than i do.”
“zo,” your hand found his bicep as his eyes glossed over, “you don’t have to tell me.”
but you didn’t know any player by the name of kuina, so, it didn’t take you long to guess where the story was headed. somehow, you stomach still dropped when zoro spoke the next part aloud, “she died a day later. ran into the fucking street while chasing the shuttle that the wind blew over. died on the fucking spot.”
“zoro.”
“i made a promise. a-and she was my sister.” 
“zoro.” and you moved to engulf him within your arms. you felt him shudder under you, face pressed to your chest in a bleak effort to hold back tears as you held him tighter and tighter against yourself. as if your weak, mortal body could undo the past or stop him from the torment that was his own mind.
“i’m sorry.” your words paled in comparison to the feelings that brewed within the depths of your stomach. as if to reflect the words you couldn’t utter, drops of rain poured down onto you both mercilessly, as if the skies were mourning.
“i’m sorry.” you repeated, arms moving haphazardly to hold him to yourself closer. his hand moved with just as much desperation, trying to clutch onto you as if you were the only tangible thread of sanity left within him, as if your touch was all that grounded him, kept him alive.
“i- i can’t, i won’t lose you.” he mumbled into your skin, “i won’t let it happen. not again.”
he raised his face to look at you and bloodshot eyes met yours. his hair stuck to his forehead, lips quivering and you couldn’t tell which drops were tears and which rain on his soaked face.
your eyes racked over his frame. from his uncaring hair, to the eyes that had grown weary far too young, to the same pair of lips you had ached to call home, and finally the arms that you had yearned for much the same for the past five years.
“zoro?” you leaned towards him as your voice grew weaker. rain drops on your lips clung helplessly as he followed your voice, face falling forward till your foreheads were mere hairsbreadth apart, “y-yeah?”
why did your breath sound so strained? how come you could feel your heart pumping wildly against the bones lodged in your chest? how could you taste the metallic taste of blood and rain on your lips like as you heaved out ragged words?
you bit your lip to stop it from quivering helplessly. words failing to voice what not even your brain could, you asked for similar candied lies, “say you won’t break my heart again.”
words desperate, he nodded, “i won’t.”
“no,” your breath grew more ragged as each second passed you by, “no. swear on it.”
his calloused palm came to rest on your cheeks, forehead touching as he closed his eyes shut. “i swear on it. i, roronoa zoro, promise to never break your heart again.”
“and if you do?”
“you’re more than welcome to break my skull with my own racket. plummet it down really hard.”
a small smile cracked at your lips, “really?”
“promise.” he hummed. and as he leaned forward to catch your lips against his in a sickly, sweet routine, you pulled back.
he barely had the second to react before you crashed back into him. you couldn’t wait any longer. your lips against his in a clash of teeth and lips and tongue and the faint taste of rain on your skins.
“’s pouring.” he panted, words barely being processed in your lucid state, “wan’ you s’bad though. so, so fucking bad.”
the next you knew, your wet back met the leather backseat of his car.
the sportsman hovered over you momentarily. and next, all you felt was his naked skin pressed to yours, his calloused palms tracing patterns long-forgotten to your sides as he gulped down anything you had to offer. any cries, any grudges, any desires.
you pushed him away just to be able to breath, but air seemed to be the last priority on zoro’s mind as he caught your lips against his in a methodical, little game all over again. panting against your pretty lips, his fingers tried to rid you of your soaked jeans and panties. and all of it was so lewd, so unbearably lewd.
from the sounds of his skin on yours, the sound of the rain violently crashing against the tinted windows and the sounds of his desperate huffs and pants as he tried to manhandle you and get rid of the whatever unholy layers separated you from his feral touches.
“z-zoro,” you stuttered helplessly and the man that peered down at you resembled more a demon ready to fester on the last bit of your lucidity rather than the man you loved.
“c’mere.” he husked, and within moments he was under you. laying prettily on the backseat as your honeyed heat hovered only inches away from his pretty lips. as he stared up at you, his strong arms wrapped around your hips and he pulled you to his lips.
“fuck,” his eyes rolled back as he ran an experimental flick of his tongue against your core, and you flinched, already pulling back from him.
and how could you blame roronoa zoro for tightening his grip against your thighs and fully seating you over his face?
“none of that hoverin’ shit.” he declared in a series of hot pants against your drenched cunt, “let me eat my girl out properly.”
“z-zoro,” you bucked forward as his lips attached around the sensitive nub, sucking like he knew your untimely demise was his very duty. strong fingers digging into the fat of your hips as he ate you out like a man starved, like a man ravished.
it was all so messy, all so untamed, feral. just a mix of spit, your honeyed fluids and his insane determination to make you unravel at the tip of his tongue.
he sneaked in a hand, forefinger and thumb pinching the nub as his tongue delved deeper into your velvety hole. your eyes rolled back as his strokes stayed unrelentless against your heat and you found yourself falling apart at his preying touches, “oh my god, zo. ‘m gonna fuck–”
“cum f’me.” he rasped against you, the other hand coming down to smack the fat of your ass. you ass recoiled under his pressure and you jolted as he rubbed the stinging area better. hot tears pricked at your eyes as he brought down a unrelenting hand at the same strawberry-red patch of skin. the pain mingled in with the methodical strokes of his tongue and the messy rubbing from his fingers pushed you past your limit.
your walls spasmed, sickly sweet dew pooling at his lips as you bucked forward with a strangled cry in your throat, “zoro, zoro, zo.”
you weren’t quite sure if you imagined it, or if you truly felt roronoa zoro smirk against your aching cunt before pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses onto the damage he had done.
as you tried to catch your breath, zoro kissed – no, devoured – your clit. your throbbing bundle of nerves caught between his lips dangerously, he sucked on it as you bucked and keened over him, “one more. c’mon, baby.”
“no, please.” you tried to cry out but the maddened man could hear nothing over the blood rush against his ears and the ecstasy of your orgasm on his tongue. clenching his eyes shut, all he could focus was on the way you squirmed over him. trying to run away? pushing him away?
he couldn’t help but grin like a man gone far too gone because this was like a challenge, and what did roronoa love if not challenges? you were practically begging him to eat you till you cried and begged him to let you go, were you not?
“z-zo.” your voice failed you at your fourth orgasm and all you could feel was the muscle pushing in and out of your sore, aching cunt and his fingers pulling on your nipple so, so meanly. “z-zoro,” you tried again, this time without stuttering, “you’re s’mean, zo.”
“am i?” the way he sounded, you felt like only more torture was on your way, “am i so, so mean?”
you nodded, tears rolling down your pretty face as he thumbed your sore clit and cooed, “sorry, baby.”
“y-you’re not sorry,” you hips spasmed at his careless touches and you threw your head back to hold back a cry, “you’re n-not sorry at all.”
“’m not,” he admitted cockily, pulling you upwards so he could press kisses to your sore thighs, “only i get to ruin my girl.”
“y-your girl?” you sounded so out-of-it, so innocent with the way he had fucked you dumb. wobbly lips, teary eyes and hoarse voice. god, he loved you. he nodded, peering at you as if breaking it down for you, “my girl.”
pulling your quivering thighs off of him, he sat up and softly placed you on his lap. when you met his pussydrunk face, his lips were drenched off of your essence. he wiped his face off the back of his hand, then using the same hand to pull your jaw forward to kiss you senseless all over again.
his mushroom tip sat hotly against your inner thigh, smearing the glossy precum all over your soft skin. as zoro battled his tongue against yours, your nimble fingers toyed with his flushed cock-head. as you softly thumbed the slit, zoro found himself whimpering against your pouty lips, slowly pulling back.
“ah, fuck.” he breathed in slowly, eyes rolling back as you finally stroked his dick. you met his eyes definitively as you brought up your soft palm to your mouth. spitting on his soft skin, you brought it back to his angry shaft nestled against your thighs.
moving it up and down, your face dipped down to his neck to bite down on his pulse. instead of whimpering the way he was, his strong hand came to push your head harder against his tanned skin. he rasped, “harder.”
and you sunk your teeth into his skin with enough force to break his skin, just to find the man under you stutter and his white seed to coat your hand. his hips stuttered, eyes clenching shut as realization set in, “f-fuck. shit hah, i came?”
growing cocky at the way he came undone, you bit down a teensy bit harder. until you felt the sweet taste of iron on your lips and you pulled back to see a small droplet of blood beading at his neck. but before you could apologize, zoro noticed your crimson hued lips. pulling you towards him, he revered in the sweet metallic tang of his blood against your tongue. madman.
the sportsman hummed against you as he pulled your sore hips upwards and positioned his cock to nudge your slit ever-so-slowly.
“mmph, zo–” you tried to speak but his mushroom tip got caught against your clit so deliciously. moaning, he guided his dick to finally push past your hole and your jaw went slack at the sinful stretch.
hair sweaty and clinging to your skin, your head was thrown back as he pistoled his dick in with slow circular motion of his hips, and you tried to ground himself by digging your nails into his shoulders. zoro grinned, his canine on display unabashed, “feel good?”
your jaw slacked open, just for nothing to come forth other than half-coherent jumbles of his name as his tip kissed your sugary sweet spots with the urgency of a madman. shallow thrusts into your cunt only resulted in persistent prodding of his tip against your g-spot. his thumb pressed debauched words to your clit as your hips moved on their accord, with only one goal: to forget anything but his ungodly thrusts into your rueful cunt.
“feel s’good, zo. feel so, so good hah mhph–” you babbled, nodding as he moved your hips up and down to fill you up and leave you empty over and over and over again. a hand snaked upwards to pull at your roots, tipping your head back so that he could sink his teeth and brand up your soft skin just over the column of your throat. 
“feel good?” he repeated, eyes almost crossing over at the crimson mark on your neck. if you felt like you were losing sanity, there was no need to feel lonely cause zoro trailed not farther behind. he laughed, bringing you down harder on his shaft, “feel good, baby? does my girl feel good?”
you nodded, eyes clenching shut as his cock massaged your gummy walls and his thumb tortured your poor, aching clit so well.
the familiar feeling built within you again, like a fire that burnt you to a crisp from within. your walls spasmed, head thrown back, drooling as roronoa zoro made it his life’s purpose to fuck you as hard as he could. to a point, where, you felt like he was just holding back to not break you.
“l-look at me, angel.” his hand squished your cheek mercilessly, pulling your face down just to press a mocking peck to your pouty, drooling lips and laugh when you jolted from the orgasm, “oh my g-god, zoro! fuck aah, hah shit shit shit.”
you slumped forward, sweaty forehead pressed to his heaving chest while he continued to fuck into your overused cunt. his thrusts grew weaker – erratic – before he painted your walls white.
“shit, baby.” the man laughed, his chest vibrating from the stuttered falsetto, “one more?”
“zo…” and the way you looked up at him so teary-eyed, shaking your head no. another challenge?
so now, of course zoro had you pressed in such a mean mating press, mumbling against your swollen kiss-bitten lips, “you’re doing so well, baby. ‘m so proud of my girl.”
“y-yeah?” you stuttered out, batting your tear-stained eyelashes so well that zoro couldn’t help but lap at the tear-drops cascading down your cheek, “mhm, course angel. take one more for me, can you?”
you nodded as if you had a choice.  
his chest pressed up against yours, broad hand pulling your knees so far high so that he could plunge in and out of you so very easily. zoro panted with every slow drag of his shaft against your addictive, sugar-sweet walls because every small movement seemed to set you alight. your cunt grabbed at him hungrily, clutching him so tightly as if you refused to let him go.
managing a few more thrusts, he brought your weak hand upto his throat and pressed your hand onto his pulse. you stared at him, wide-eyed, before pressing harder. as your soft hand pushed harshly against his pulse, zoro pushed into your heat harder with a low whimper.
his hips sputtered as splashes of white painted your walls all over again.
the sportsman heaved, dipping his sweaty face down to the crook of your neck and pressing his body weight on yours. after what seemed like eons of just catching up his breath, zoro slowly pulled out and you gasped at his absence.
“are you okay?” he pressed a chaste kiss to your collarbone before trailing upwards and pressing another to your cheek. your muscles went slack under him, soreness creeping up the tendrils of your flesh as you fluttered opened your eyes, “’m tired.”
“already?” the man grinned, licking a soft stripe up your jaw. your weak hands pushed him away, groaning, “already?!”
“sorry, c’mere.” settling beside you in the cramped seat, he pulled you to his chest. humming faintly as his fingers softly caressed the damp tressed and you melted against the feel of his warm skin against yours.
the soft pitter-patter of the rain against the windows quietened, the morning mist hovering around the car like some forbidden protector and dew clung helplessly to leaves in the field. zoro pulled you closer to himself, his shallow breath against your forehead and his soft fingertips massaging your sore hips, “i think i love you.”
“you think?” your eyes fluttered open, trailing up softly to take in his peaceful expression. you bit the inside of your cheek, stomach churning as you dug your cheek against his chest and nodded, “i think i love you too.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
11th of november, 12:01 a.m.
“go on,” you shoved the cupcake in his direction, the candle light flickering softly and barely holding out against his stuttered breath, “for real?”
“hm,” you nodded, “make a wish, zo.”
“i don’t even have a religion.” he mumbled and you pinched the taut skin of his bicep in retaliation, “jus’ do it.”
“okay, fine. here goes nothing.” he closed his eyes. eyebrows bunching up in concentration and high cheekbones coloured orange from the weak flame. a moment passed by as the two of you stayed huddled on his bed, him praying and you looking at him.
a soft breath and the flame went out. when he opened his eyes, you smiled at him, “what did you wish for?”
“nothing,” he replied softly, calloused fingers interlocking with yours, “think i have everything i could ever need already.”
“happy birthday, zo.” you pecked him and pulled back, but he pulled you back to him.
knock, knock, knock.
“are you both done?” perona knocked at the door, “everyone’s waiting for you out, idiot.”
the next morning your twitter was flooded with the same blurry photo of you kissing zoro at his birthday party.
@/roronoaswifeyy said: yOU TWO ARE MY ROMAN EMPIRE OMG!!! @/sweatytoenails asked: IS THIS ANOTHER PR STUNT?11 OMG I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER BREAK-UP. @/boaboaboa said: GUYS I THINK THIS PICTURE IS LEGIT, SOMEONE SAW THEM GO ON A ROAD-TRIP TOO
@/monkeydluffyofficial: very proud of zoro to be able to pull such a pretty woman without showering for days on end ❤️😃 @/dailycelebgossip: BREAKING: two-times grand slam winner and current number #1, roronoa zoro confirmed to be going out with his former flame!
@/vinsmokesanjiofficial: we will be releasing an official statement, until then PLEASE STOP TAGGING ME, YOU’RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE. AND @/ynln ANSWER MY CALLS. @/nami_bizconmgmt: like@/vinsmokesanjiofficial said, please wait for the official statement and @/realroronoazoro PICK UP MY CALLS.   
zoro wrapped a strong arm around your waist. sleep lingered in his eyes, and the pattern of the pillow case was imprinted onto his skin instead, “what’re you reading?”
you giggled, “people are losing their mind over the fact that we’re dating.” you looked over your shoulder, “can’t believe a PR stunt got us here.”
“oh, about that.” he mumbled, “nami never asked me to do that, i was just feeling bold that day. paid off pretty well though, didn’t it?”
“huh?” your eyes widened, words sinking in at a much slower rate, “HUH?”
“what?”
“HUH?”
“what?” he repeated with a grin, “it worked, didn’t it?”
“YOU ASSHOLE!” you pushed at him and he just held you tighter against his chest, “mhm, love you too.”
ladies and gentlemen, this is your friendly reminder to not go back to your ex by the way! they don't deserve you and aren't roronoa zoro!  
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a/n: i cannot believe this has come to an end!! aaaah took me fucking forever to finish it (and i have like 5 more characters to write for ://) but im so so grateful for anyone who loved this and has shown me that love. thakyou so much you guys! i'd be making an ao3 soon enough so that it's easier to navigate. again, thankyou for keeping up with me <3 tagging: @litlebruh @mist-ixx @briezy04764 @otkuhotgirl [the credit for feral!zoro goes to her] @mars-mizuko @florallyarranged @ayumitho @lyany2k @dietcokefizz @kokanee-readinglist @angelsforever999 @rengokushuaige @imlikeacoffeeconnoisseur @gojoistetti tysm for reading!! you all were so incredibly nice that im sobbing :')) i hope y'all enjoyed this! much love, vix <3 m.list
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110 notes · View notes
Note
Hello, good morning/afternoon/night.
(this was written with a translator, in case there are spelling errors)
First of all I want to tell you that I adore everything you write and the way you do it.
And second, could I place an order?
I'm still learning how to use Tumblr, so I don't know how to do several things and I don't know if I'm writing this where I should.
I hope it doesn't bother you ir make you feel Uncomfortable!!
Lately I have had some situations in which a...family member...in an indirect and at the same time direct way has told me that I am...overweight/fat...and that has made me feel bad, so only if you want, could you make some headcanon about how Undertale, Underswap, Underfell and Horrortale would react to me believing that.
(I mean, they would deny it and say nice things or they would laugh and make fun of me for it and highlight having a double chin and a belly and stuff like that...)
But of course, if you don't want, of course it's not necessary or if it seems like there are too many characters, you can remove them or if you want ignore this and I'll understand.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
anon, i’m so sorry this happened to you <3 it’s unfair and nobody should have to go through that.
readers gender isn’t specified, but i use “beautiful” and “gorgeous”
Undertale, Underfell, underswap, and horrortale skelebros reacting to a reader who has been fat-shamed
Undertale:
Sans:
-his brow bones would furrow
-“wait a minute, who said that?”
-he’d nod when you tell him
-“listen, they’re wrong. you’re beautiful as you are. now, i don’t want you starting any diets or anything if they would just make you unhappy, because i’ve heard plenty of stories about them being terrible. your family members just plain wrong. ‘kay?”
-he’d hug you if you were still upset
-from then on, he would tell you how gorgeous you were more often
papyrus:
-he would be even more upset than you were, honestly
-someone would DARE say such nasty things about HIS s/o / friend??
-he would storm to their house, knock on the door, and that man WOULD. NOT. BUDGE. until your family member listened to him.
-he would be harsh but obviously be nice about it
underfell:
Sans:
-why do you give a fuck???
-he’s honestly so confused
-like, his brother told him the same thing (which also confused him, seeing as he is a SKELETON) and he just?? didn’t care??
-he tells you to stop giving a fuck
-that’s it
-“why do you give a shit about what they say? their opinions are ass. you look great”
papyrus:
-he doesn’t look up from his book when you say that
-“mm. you could stand to lose a few pounds, i guess”
-(you don’t think he quite realized how hurtful that is)
-if you tell him he’d ask why
-he thinks he’s genuinely looking out for your best interests.
underswap:
sans:
-“they told you WHAT!?”
-he would be FUMING with anger
-but, he would calm himself down enough to reassure you
-he would tell you that you look amazing, and you shouldn’t start a diet that you wouldn’t enjoy just to conform to their standards of beautiful or healthy.
-he would talk to the family member afterwards, angrier than he would normally like to be when resolving a conflict
-you never hear those words from your family member again, trust me
papyrus:
-“fuck ‘em”
-you appear slightly offended that he would say something like that about your family member, so he elaborates
-“they want to police you on how traditionally beautiful or healthy you are. you were happy before that, but now their words have upset you, for something that didn’t need said in the first place. so, fuck ‘em. that’s an asshole move”
-he would not argue this with you
horrortale:
Sans:
-hes so fucking confused
-where he’s from, food is a scarcity, and your family’s bitching about “too much?”
-he contacts your family member, whether that be finding their address from your address book or by finding their phone number on your phone, and gives him a piece of his mind.
-he would rant for HOURS if he could, or if he could keep his train of thought for that long, about how lucky they are for having food in the first place.
-afterwards he would encourage you about how beautiful you are, and how wrong your family member is
papyrus:
-he would look at you with concern
-overweight?
-he won’t pretend to be an expert on human weight, but even if you are “overweight,” that’s a good thing! it means you have access to food!
-that’s SO special to him.
-he would tell you that no matter what your family member thought, you were BEAUTIFUL
-he would be happy to talk to your family member if you wanted him to
192 notes · View notes
theitgirlnetwork · 3 months ago
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Girl. THANK YOU, thank you so much for creating the Better series! I am IN LOVE. I’m crying, I love your writing so much! I wanted to ask if it would be possible to request a one shot? I was thinking one where Charlotte gets really sick, and Lip dotes on her and takes care of her, and is really domestic? If not, that’s okay! Just wanted to let you know that I love your writing!
Note: I could bore y'all with the explanation about all the stuff I was doing...but I'll just offer the promise to do better now. Thank you so much for this, I received one other one from an anon similar to this. I'm so glad you enjoy my writing, to be honest these messages mean so much, I really appreciate y'all's investment, creativity and thinking about what you'd like to see from the characters. It's a little long and all over the place and angsty but I'm getting back in the swing. I love and appreciate you all for reading. I think I'm gonna keep doing one shots for a little as I get back into the swing of characters and then get back to the fics but there are chapters in the works. Let me know what you think <3
Warnings: Mentions of illness (some from research, some from personal experience); strong language
Better: Sick Fic
Lip adjusts his backpack on his shoulder as he digs his house keys out of his pocket. He grunts irritably as the keys slip between his fingers and tumble to his feet, head falling backward as he works up the strength to bend down and pick them up.
It’d been a long day. A really…really fuckin’ long day. He’d arrived at the office with 13 messages waiting for him and two programs he’d developed sent back down the line for absolute bullshit reasons. Then, he’d received a call from the lobby, letting him know that there was a piss soaked drunk man making a fucking spectacle out front, demanding to see his son, Lip, who works there. After encouraging the security to take Frank out back and beat him within an inch of his life, Lip hoped to settle into his office during lunch, eat the food his wife made him, and talk dirty to her on the phone to hold him over until he could go home.
None of that happened. Because his coworkers are fucking incompetent. And his boss is weirdly becoming obsessed with saying he was his protege or something and forcing him to take on tasks that have absolutely fucking nothing to do with his work. And the cherry on top, Charlotte didn’t pick up the phone. 
He’d called once, twice, three times, growing more and more worried with each dial tone and message of Hi, this is Charlotte Gallagher… Lip was already picking up his bag and logging off of his work computer when he received a vague text that lowered the nervous burning in his stomach to a strong simmer. Can’t talk, see you when you get home.
It makes the blond man feel slightly better that she responded, but this short, curt text left Lip other questions. Charlotte always wants to talk on the phone. Why was she not answering his calls? Is she mad at him? Hurt? Busy? No, not busy. They’re never too busy to answer each other’s calls. 
As he shoves the door to their townhome open his wide blue eyes scan the room for his wife. Lip haphazardly dumps his bag on the floor, stepping over his spilled belongings, making a mental note to come back and pick it up before Charlotte has to leave for work later. He expects to hear the quick clicking of her slippers shuffling across the floor to meet him. Even when she’s angry she always welcomes him home in one way or another. Either greeting him with bright eyes and a kiss or furrowed brows and crossed arms. But still, always there. Not this time. 
“Bunny, m’home.” He calls into the void, pausing to listen for a response of some sort of scoff, or high pitched harumph to start whatever rant she was about to ream him with. But nothing. No sound. No doors slamming. No sniffles born of fat, angry tears cried out of frustration because he’d fucked up in some way he’d already forgotten. Silence. 
Something Charlotte does know is that Lip doesn’t do well with being ignored. Call it abandonment issues, or narcissism, not being acknowledged triggers the fuck out of Lip. If…if this was some attempt at the silent treatment he doesn’t fuckin’ like it. His jaw clenches as he kicks off his shoes and starts to storm around the lower level of the home looking for her. “Charlotte.”
“Charlotte.” He pushes the downstairs bathroom door open, checking the kitchen and out back before heading up the steps. “Charlotte, c’mon, seriously?” 
He huffs as he turns the corner, his feet sinking into the cheap carpet on their hallway floors, rounding into their shared bedroom. The door is slightly ajar and all Lip can do is ponder why his wife would set herself up in their room and wait for him ominously like some kind of supervillain. That’s until he found her lying on the floor, still only wearing the ratty navy blue t-shirt from his cafeteria job and a pair of his boxers. Her brows furrow as he enters the room, but she remains unmoving on the floor as Lip moves closer, crouching next to her.
“Babe,” the blond starts, moving his hand to smoothe one of her fallen rollers from her forehead only to recoil away. “Jesus, Charlotte, what the fuck? You’re burning up!” He presses his hand down more aggressively this time, moving from her forehead to her neck, nudging her head out of his way with his knuckle.
Charlotte grunts and yawns, large brown eyes glassy as they flutter open to meet his blue ones that are storming with worry. “Bubba, you’re home…and you’re loud.” she pouts.
“What the fuck?” He whispers under his breath again, moving to sit fully on the floor as he inspects her closer. “You sick, Bunny?”
His wife just shifts, sitting up to move between his legs and lean her back against his back, trying to hide her face as she winces in pain with each movement, forcing cheer into her voice. “Phillip, m’fine, just sleepy.” She tries to reach behind his head and run her fingers through the soft hairs at the nape of her neck, and Lip shakes his head in distrust, catching her wrist when she can’t bite back the gasp from the sharp ache in her joints.
Echoes of Charlotte’s father’s voice fill Lip’s head. Do you know that she suffers from chronic pain. That she has sickle cell. Do you know that? Are you ready for that?  Is…should he be doing something? Calling someone? Fiona? She’s always taking care of him when he was sick. Maybe. Maybe her…maybe V? 
He fumbles in his pocket for his phone, only to realize he’d left it downstairs. He eyes the woman between his legs, feeling her body making stifled jerks, her teeth quietly chattering behind her closed lips. His beautiful girl’s normally vibrant, pink and brown lips muted versions of themselves. Dry. Dehydrated? 
“Let’s get you off the floor.” He murmurs, either to himself or to Charlotte, it was hard to tell. Lip is cautious as he hoists her into his arms, eyes locked on her as he carries her over to the bed, and lays her down. “Do you…um, what do you…did you eat?”
“M’not hungry.” she sighs, settling into the pillows, snuggling under the blankets, leading Lip to question if he should pull it off. She’s too hot. Isn’t she too hot?
“Okay, I’m gonna be right back. I’ll be right back, okay, Bunny?”
“Okay.” Charlotte hums weakly, eyes fluttering shut again before Lip can even make it out of the room. His chest clenches as he jogs down the steps, brain moving at rapid speed. He immediately digs through his discarded bag for his phone, pulling it out and dialing his older sister’s number.
“Come on, Fiona. Come the fuck on.” His teeth grind as he paces, once, twice across the living room floor before deciding to balance the still ringing phone between his ear and shoulder as he grabs ice from the fridge. He ignores the pins and needles in his hands as he shovels the cubes into a ziplock bag. Each ring of the phone before the dial tone hits pisses him off until he hears the voicemail prompt Fiona, you know what to do…except no the actual fuck he doesn’t. And thank you for absolutely nothing Fiona, and suddenly his phone is under the couch and its battery is somewhere against the wall because somebody might have thrown it. 
“Baby, here.” Lip mumbles as he pads back into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, worry growing as he notices that in the two minutes he’d been downstairs she’d already been back to sleep. He tries to push the baggy full of ice that he’d wrapped in a paper towel on her forehead, only for her to groan and push it away. 
“No, wait, Phillip-”
“Bunny, you have a fever, we need to cool it down.” He sighs, trying to push it forward again.
Charlotte holds his hand away, scooting further on the bed and wincing in pain again. “No, Phillip, it’s gonna make the pain worse. With what I have,  I can’t be cold, okay? No ice.” Her eyes soften as she watches him pull back, tossing the ice on the dresser.
Make the pain worse. Lip can't breathe. “Okay. Okay, so what can I do to help you?” 
“Maybe breathe, just a little bit. And tell the vein in your neck to chill out before it bursts. And..and you’re doing that thing you do. You know, when you’re upset, so you start annunciating each letter of each word you say. S’weird, bub.” She giggles through her chills and chattering teeth. “I’m fine, Bubba. Just come cuddle with me, I’ll warm up.”
“Charlotte.” Lip isn’t amused. His wife is sick and it’s not funny. He’d…distantly known, one day he’d be faced with Charlotte experiencing discomfort in some function. Her father’s words about her illnesses had yet to be confirmed by her so he’d assumed eventually they’d been a ploy to scare him into trying to send her back to her parents. But now, she was sitting before him, looking beautiful as ever, but sick. She looks weak. And all he can think is how he’d missed it. This morning, how slowly she’d moved, how she’d fallen back asleep when he showered. The lack of texts and calls. Were her eyes that glassy then? Was she in pain like this all day?
And so Lip decided he was the worst husband ever. It’s not the first time he’d come to that conclusion, but this time he really felt it. He should’ve rushed home. Hell he should’ve stayed home. He had all night to berate himself. Charlotte had almost immediately fallen asleep after he’d climbed into bed with her. Her hand that’d been rubbing slow circles on his chests halted and got heavier. 
So, Lip got to work. He slid out from underneath her, and snuck downstairs to grab his work laptop. Ideally, his source for symptoms for sickle cell crises would be a doctor, or someone else who’d actually had an idea of what they were doing, but google would have to do for now. He’d turned the screen light down and carried the laptop upstairs. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Lip sat up all night, rotating between reading horrific facts and worse-case scenarios and sticking his finger under his wife’s nose to make sure she was breathing. His eyes burned as he would take breaks from reading to stare at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest, feeling the paranoia fill his own.
“Uh, thanks, V.” Lip places the machine onto the counter before pulling his wife’s cousin into a hug. “Sorry you didn’t get to say hi, she’s uh..really tired lately.” 
Charlotte’s not getting better. 
No matter what Lip does, she won’t just fucking get better. For three days, he played her game. At least a little. He agreed not to involve anyone else. He went to the pharmacy and bought her tylenol for the pain and the headaches. He wrapped her in heating pads and his arms, staring down at her with pools of worry. He let her sleep as much as she wanted. On the condition that he could watch to make sure she woke up. 
She’d tell him over and over she was fine, and that this feeling would pass. She refused to call it what it was and tried to carry on with business as usual. But Lip’s not stupid. Charlotte’s either going into crisis or already in it. 
He hasn’t been to work in 3 days. 
He hasn’t showered alone in 3 days.
He hasn’t slept more than an hour at a time in 3 days. 
The first and only time he’d left the house was to get the medicine and heating pads. The first person he’d spoken to aside from Charlotte had been V. 
Fiona had called from some fucking detention center. Something about a mix up and a boyfriend was what the voicemail said. Lip had sent her a text to go fuck herself before blocking her number. That was day 2. That day, Charlotte had tried to hide from Lip as she cried in pain in their bed while he brought her lunch. He didn’t have time for the bullshit. And at 4:00am leading into day 3, she’d tried to sneak and go to the bathroom by herself, and got so dizzy she fell back on the bed, alerting her husband. 
That’s when Lip tried to call her parents. 
“Don’t call them!”
“Charlotte, you’re sick! We have to call your parents.”
“I’m fine!”
“You’re sick, I don’t know how to fucking help you, I’m calling them, okay? Jesus, fucking-Bunny, Bun…Charlotte you have to stop crying, you’re gonna make your chest tight.”
It was too late. So they had to compromise.
Lip called V. V brought Charlotte’s nebulizer, kissed her forehead and left. It was an older one. A big clunky machine, with tubes and plugs. Different liquids that need to be poured into it at different measurements. All of this shit just to help the love of his life breathe normally. To get her lungs to work at their full capacity. Lip swallows the lump in his throat as he puts the mask around her pretty face, watching as liquid medicine turns to fog for her to breathe in.  The sound of the machine fills the room as Charlotte falls asleep again, and Lip goes downstairs.
He scrubs his hands down his face before going to the kitchen to start making her a grilled cheese to eat when she wakes back up and the doorbell rings. Lip assumed V had forgotten something during her brief visit. He wasn’t expecting for his fuck up sister to have the audacity to be standing at his doorstep. “Yeah, fuck that, get the fuck out of here.” he sneers, turning and pushing the door to close behind him, only for her to catch it with her foot.
“Lip, why didn’t you tell me Charlotte’s sick?” Fiona’s lip curls as she takes in his disheveled form, his hair and clothes eskew and stained, very similar to the state of the kitchen and living room. “This place is a mess.”
“You know, I’m not sure why you’re still here.” The blond snatches a red notebook off the couch, producing a pen from behind his ear and scribbling in it. “What time is it?”
“I’m here to help,” She picks two plastic bags off of the floor and folds them in on each other. “Clearly you need it-”
“Fuck you. The time? Can’t find my goddamn watch-”
“9:36. Why?”
Lip huffs, running a hand through his uncombed hair. “Why are you here? Like you said, my wife’s sick, and none of the drugs she’s taking can get you high so, you’ll have to take your bender elsewhere-”
“Okay, fuck you, because if you’d un-fucking block me you’d know that was a mixup and I’m completely clean. I’m gonna ignore the fact that you’re being a complete asshole right now because I’m here to help my sister, alright? Move. What’s that burning smell?”
“Fuck!” Lip rushes over to the stove and takes the pan with the crispy remains of a grilled cheese and throws it in the sink. He kicks at the cabinet in front of the sink and tugs at his strands again. “Fuck, fucking-I needed help 3 days ago! My wife is fucking sick and I don’t know what to do. It’s not a cold. She’s not going through withdrawals or ODing. She was literally just fucking born with something that could kill her and I have the fucking nerve to be tired. She can’t move. Her bones hurt. She gets a fever for nothing. She can’t fucking breathe right. And I’m tired. Be-because I can’t sleep. I have to watch her. A-and, my mind is constantly trying to think of what she needs next. I’ve got a fucking notebook full of medications and times so I can keep them straight I want her to get better. I need her to get better now.”
Fiona stands quietly as her little brother tries to even out his breathing. She takes careful steps forward, sweeping the tears from his cheeks before using her sleeve to wipe the snot from his nose. It’s easy to forget. Lip is a man now. But every now and then, Lip reminds her he’s only 20 years old. That he’s her first baby. 
“Go take a long shower.” She says, taking her bag off her shoulder.
“I can’t, I need to check on Charlotte.” He sniffs. “I don’t like leaving her alone that long.”
“I’ll check on her. You can’t take care of her if you’re not taking care of yourself. Plus you’re gross.”
Charlotte is sitting up in the bed by the time Lip comes back to their room. It was the first time in 3 days that they’d been apart for an hour. Fiona had brought her a new grilled cheese sandwich and wiped the tear tracks from her own face when she acknowledged that she’d heard Lip’s breakdown from before because her nebulizer had turned off.  The younger woman used shaky hands to pick at her nails as she watched the door for her husband after her sister left.
She felt guilty that he had to take care of her so much. Charlotte had always had health issues, and they’re a lot on anyone. Her parents had even hired help when they were really bad when she was younger. She has always had her own feelings about feeling like her body betrays her randomly sometimes, that excruciating pain can come from nowhere and occasionally her parents would use that as a way to control her.
 But Lip isn’t like that. He just cares. He cares to the point that he’s angry for her. At the situation. At himself. She can feel him. Looking at her at night, making sure she’s breathing. Kissing her temple and trying to massage the migraines from her head. She knows he called her parents despite her wishes. And she felt his disappointment and desperation when they told him that since she decided she was grown, she was on her own. Her husband spent the past few days driving himself insane, just in hopes of her getting a little bit better. And she couldn’t even promise him that.
“Hey, baby, you’re up.” He smiles softly, tugging on a pair of pajama pants over his boxers. 
“Boo, I was enjoying the show.” Charlotte offers him a tired grin back.
He shakes his head, placing a hand on the back of her neck under the guise of pulling her into a kiss, not very discreetly feeling to see if she has a fever. “Fuckin’ perv.” Lip presses his lips against hers once, twice, before resting his forehead against hers. “Pain level.”
“3.”
“So 6.” He sucks his teeth, “Headache?”
“Nope.” she pops the ‘p’, rubbing his nose with hers and pouting at his disapproving look. “Promise.”
“You have to be fucking honest, Bunny, really, we can’t play with your health.” 
“I’m fine-” she groans, pushing him away lightly only to pause when she sees his face. It’s stoic and strict. Almost angry. Almost, if not for the water glittering on his waterline. 
“I don’t have to say the fucking words, I know you don’t want me to say them. But, I need you. So we need to handle this right. I have to take care of you, because this is freaking me the fuck out, baby. I know it’s fucking annoying that I keep waking you up, and making you take things you don’t wanna take. I know you don���t want me to carry you around, but Charlotte, please. Seriously. Fuckin’ please.”
Charlotte bites her bottom lip, eyes slipping closed, she reaches up, waiting for her husband to lean down into her arm. He does, encasing her, holding her. Like glass, she hates this. But she can understand. If Lip looked the way she looked, felt the way she felt, she’d feel horrible. “Okay. My…my head hurts a little bit.”
“Okay.” Lip nods against her shoulder, reaching over to the nightstand, grabbing the tylenol bottle and the glass of water Fiona had left. Charlotte opens her mouth and Lip places the small white pill in her mouth, ignoring the shiver of familiarity he gets from it and reasoning to himself how different this is from anything with his own parents. “Thank you, Bunny.” He breathes as he watches her swallow down the water he holds to her lips. 
“Thank you, Bubba.” She scoots over and pats the space in the bed next to her. “Time for my other medicine.”
Blue eyes roll as he climbs under the covers, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to his chest. “You’re so fuckin’ corny.” Lip relaxes a little as he nuzzles his nose against her head, breathing her in and feeling her heartbeat as his fingers run along her wrists. “You’re starting to have the energy to make stupid jokes again, so you must be getting better.”
Charlotte hums as he smooths his hands along her arms, stomach and legs. Her head drops back against his shoulder. “Eh, I wouldn’t take out that life insurance on me just yet.”
Lip brings her hand to his lips kissing her wrist before speaking against it. “Fuckk, there goes that vacation I was supposed to take my other wife on.”
“Yeah, Helene will simply have to wait.”
“Eyes and mouth closed, brat.” he snorts.
"Phillip?" she starts.
He sighs, letting his own eyes slip shut, resting his head on hers. "I'll be fine when you are, Bunny." And he means it. Charlotte is Lip's life. His wife is the best thing that's ever happened to him. He...was overwhelmed earlier. But he'd loose 3 more days sleep. He'd keep a million notebooks. Keep track of hundreds of medications. Just to see her feeling better again. "Just get better for me, baby."
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velvetvexations · 21 days ago
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It is so unbelievable how many fucking anti transmasc losers there are!! It's unbelievable, it really is just like ace discourse. Every fucking blog, I have to search 'transmasc' and 'TME' just like I had to search 'ace' and 'asexual' back in the day People will JUMP at the chance to do this shit over again huh
You should read up on the Cultural Revolution because it just keeps happening.
Ok not to double send but...
Blogs like yours do WONDERS for my mental health. Knowing there are actually people in my corner while I realise I'm a trans man is phenomenal
I'm glad to help! <3
my passing status is nebulous. sometimes i pass, but mostly i dont. im a trans guy with a thing for crossdressing so sometimes i have actual, legitimate euphoria vibes over just... sitting in my car and looking feminine. like "you all think im a girl but SECRETLY IM A BOY!!!" and it feels really good because like. yeah. i can look like a girl but nothing will change that i am a boy 😊😊 trans guy crossdresser again, my passing status is also really weird because i am intersex. my mustache confuses people, and that's great
That's similar to how I feel. People think I'm misgendering myself when I call myself male but it's more like I'm asserting dominance over gendered expectations lol. I'm male and I'm still a woman anyway.
thank you for your blog. a musician i really respected went super anti-transmasc recently and its really hurt, and the stuff here makes me feel like. less insane for having an issue with it
I'm really, really sorry anon. I love you a lot. <3
love that this person is calling people who believe that trans men can be oppressed "chuds", a word that is mostly used to talk about right-wing conservative men
transandro reactionaries dontcha know
"internet tough guys" still exist in 2024?????????????
Someone said something like "no one wants to fight you" and I was thinking "no actually I'm dead serious I would actually."
anyone who tries to debunk transandrophobia by throwing in "you people" has automatically lost the argument imo. but also I need to rant. as That Guy in your inbox who hangs out in bear and leather bars it makes me genuinely want to chew through the floor when people are like "oh well queer people don't demonize masculinity" GO OUTSIDE. YES THEY DO. there is a REASON fat hairy balding men tend to have our own damn spaces, because no one else will take us. FUCK.
if people want to insist that everyone around them has always recognized their soul-gender and no one is ever treated like anything but what they identify as maybe they should stop talking about what genders that aren't theirs experience
I'm a bisexual trans man who does not pass and never will pass and I have spent over 30 years of my life being told my experiences aren't real mostly by other queer people and I am so, so, so, so, SO jaded by it. I'm done. If you tell me "your lived experiences are not a real thing" then you're the villain. I can't stand it. I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I have absolutely nowhere to go and I feel so unbelievably hopeless.
Try to hang in there anon. It's okay to disengage and avoid discourse. I know it's not always possible, but there's nothing wrong with unplugging from this shit as much as you can. You have to focus on your happiness.
I love you. <3
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blushedfemmes · 25 days ago
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helllooo, i recently sent that intox shower message and i just wanted to say, your tummy posts. Yes.
it's really hard to have any self confidence as a fat butch sometimes, i'm always scared that i'm just viewed as a joke or that i'm not skinny/ muscular enough to be seen as masculine, but the way you embrace different body types is so refreshing and affirming.
can i claim 🍁? i have a feeling i'll be sticking around :)
p.s. i'd like to join your legion of butch chefs, i make a mean chicken piccata
okay i’ve gotten enough of these kind of asks that i think i’m gonna snap. (not towards you anon 💕) cause i just wanna say. to ME- and to many other ppl- there is nothing on earth more masculine and handsome than a fat butch. and it makes me so mad that you have been given this fear of not being skinny/muscular enough to be butch when like. the vast majority of butches i know irl or have seen out in the world are NOT skinny or super muscular. and ppl who seem to exalt that or focus on it when talking about butches/whose pics they rb/which characters they call butch just give me the impression that they’ve never met or talked to a living breathing butch in their lives. and they probably haven’t 😬 like why the fuck should my attraction to fat butches be so refreshing (not mad at you, anon, to be clear) when that body type is literally the norm in our community tbh??? can we start calling the people who ignore fat butches skinny fetishists yet??? or would that make it too hard for them to pretend like skinny = “normal” 🫢
anyways. sorry anon, thank you for sharing, rant aside i am glad that my blog helps you feel affirmed. i would looove to try your chicken piccata, is that the one with capers in the sauce?? i love capers yum
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