#Familial Attraction

[woodbyne]

   ＠ Familial attraction.

Familial attraction is the desire for a strong emotional closeness with another due to them being viewed as family ( whether they biologically are or not ).

Requested by anon.

Plain text start: Familial attraction. Familial attraction is the desire for a strong emotional closeness with another due to them being viewed as family (whether they biologically are or not). Requested by anon .Plain text end]

[fwutcher]

id. a seven horizontally striped flag, the center stripe is much thinner than the others. the stripes are dull gold, warm yellow, beige, blue, light jade green, green, dark green.

proximifamilial/intafamilial: only or mostly experiencing familial attraction close after/during interaction with someone you're family with, but that attraction fading soon afterward. after no interaction for an extended period of time, the attraction fades, isn't as intense, becomes dormant, or one otherwise loses the attraction until further interaction. time period varies from person to person, up to the user to define where the barriers of soon and extended period are. just to be clear, this is not exclusive to familiality by blood and can include to chosen, found, and atypical family otherwise unmentioned. based off of proximiplatonic by @sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler. hope you don't mind the tag. taglist: @radiomogai @tertiary-attraction-archive

[our-afamspec-experience]

What is familial attraction?

In order to understand what being Afamilial is, we must learn what the attraction we lack even is in the first place

Familial Attraction is the clossness of family or the desire to be family with someone you know

It is not necessary that to experience attraction you must be blood related, you don't even need to have adopted them as a child in order to. Familial attraction is similar to platonic attraction in that regard, but instead of friends, you feel like siblings However it is most commonly felt towards blood reletives for Allofamilials [Side note: Even if you're Allofamilial, you don't necessarily experience familial attraction towards all of your blood reletives, same as for Alloromantics, Allosexuals, Alloplatonics, etc..]

---

It is not incest This is a rather common misconception from Allofamilials, whether or not in good faith

"But didn't you (Mod V) call yourself homofamilial?"

I'm on the more familial favorable end of afamilials, but that seems to mainly be with the other girls / women in my family I'm honestly not really comfortable with most of the boys/men in my family, and I think I may experience less of a desire to be familially close to them, But for the girls, I do still care for them, just... not in any form of attraction. Probably emotional attraction ig.

Tertiary / Non-Rose attraction still has orientations. It just so happens that almost everyone is pan

---

Forgive me if this was badly written

[mogai945]

on familial attraction

a few days ago in the liomogai archivists server, @radiomogai posted questions it wanted to elaborate on regarding familial attraction and afamspec. this post is essentially my personal responses and thoughts on the matter, as well as some extra thoughts sparked by what radio (cecil, specifically) said in response to me sending the document in the server. you can thank it as well for me posting this, since it encouraged me to do so :-) (smiley face with nose)

a few notes before we begin:

i went digging for previous discussions on the topic before forming my own thoughts on it; as you can expect, some of the posts i found were by deleted/deactivated blogs, or by users who didn't have their pronouns readily available on their blog. when this happened, i used they/them for those users; if you know their pronouns or if you are anyone who is mentioned in this post, please let me know your pronouns and i will update them!!

Family of origin - a less clunky manner of saying “non-chosen family”; family that raised you, be it blood, adoptive, foster, step, or what have you

Chosen family is used synonymously with found family here; I personally prefer chosen family because I made a choice to include them in my family, but this will vary from person to person and I feel it’s largely just different terms for the same experience

What counts as conformant with familial attraction?

[PT: What counts as conformant with familial attraction? /end PT]

That is honestly a fantastic question, and one that I honestly feel could spark a whole debate not even just within the MOGAI community, but within society as a whole. I’ve decided to do my research to see what people have said before, and then form my opinion on the matter, or adhere to someone’s definition if I feel it fits my thoughts on the matter.

From system-mogai’s post on various types of attraction [link]

[PT: From system-mogai’s post on various types of attraction [link] /end PT]

Originally posted on the 27th of November, 2018, or at least last updated then; reblogged to radiomogai on the 24th of October, 2020.

Familial/Fellowship = green + yellow

[PT: Familial/Fellowship = green + yellow. /end PT]

The first mention of familial attraction on the post is the list of colours commonly used to represent various types of attraction, I assume in flags and such. Not particularly useful, but interesting nonetheless; I’m unsure if this has stayed true throughout the years, but I wanted to mention it regardless.

Familial/Fellowship = experiencing familial attraction or desiring a familial bond (being physically close, living together, valuing the relationship more than others, emotional reliance, valuing their existence more than others, possible desire for a guide-like or guardian/grace attachment, friendship, valuing their opinion more than others)

A definition is the next mention, and I have… thoughts on it. While, broadly, I do agree with a majority of these factors, I take fairly major issue with a few of them too. This opinion is absolutely influenced by the fact that I’m, at least to some extent, a relationship anarchist, but I disagree with the idea that one has to value the relation, someone’s existence, or someone’s opinion more than others for the relationship to be familial. Different alters within our system will have different opinions on our parents, but I (Tommy) do consider the body’s parents my parents, even if not my parents in an emotional sense. With that said, I definitely do not value my relationship with them more than others, arguably most, nor do I value their existence or opinion inherently more than others’ existences or opinions. Admittedly, we have a rough relationship with the body’s parents, especially the body’s father, so we might be biased against them, but I feel my point stands nonetheless: I disagree with the idea that you have to inherently value a relationship more for it to be familial.

Familial/Fellowship: second sibling, second (parent term), any typically family-oriented term

This is what system-mogai offers as titles for those one feels familial attraction towards. I highly dislike “second [family-oriented term]” to be quite honest, it gives me the impression that chosen family is less than family of origin, and I just plain and simple disagree with that. When I feel familial attraction towards someone that isn’t biological family, I just call them the appropriate term/title, no “second” before it, but I admit that that might be personal preference. If I need to clarify, I say they’re my “chosen family [term]”, but most of the time I don’t.

So, this post did provide a definition, though not one I am super thrilled with. However, I am, again, a relationship anarchist, so the issues I take with the definition offered might just be the issues of someone who does not experience familial attraction in a conformant manner.

From watercolormogai’s post for a flag for familial attraction [link]

[PT: From watercolormogai’s post for a flag for familial attraction [link] /end PT]

Originally posted on the 25th of August, 2022; reblogged to radiomogai on the 8th of September, 2022.

familial attraction is attraction towards people that you see as family/who are your family/who you want to be your family, or the desire to be in a familial relationship with someone. while it is most common, you don't necessarily have to be legally/blood related to someone to feel that attraction towards them, and you don't have to feel that attraction towards people you are legally/blood related to. feeling less than the normal amount of familial attraction (or not feeling it "correctly", like if you don't feel familial attraction towards people you are related to but feeling familial attraction towards people you aren't related to) would be afam-spec

Okay, first things first, major shout out to watercolormogai for thinking of afamspec folks right out the bat when posting this flag and offering their definition. I imagine this isn’t something most coiners do right away, considering how much erasure I’ve seen of aspec folks in general.

That being said, I find that this definition is a fair bit vague in terms of what familial attraction actually is, but not to such an extent that it is noticeably more vague than other definitions of attraction types. One thing I appreciate is that it specifies that while it is more common to experience that towards folks you are legally/blood related to, it is not required. at the same time, later on in the same post they offer that same situation as an example of what afamspec may look like, while I would posit that it would be more akin to non-conformant familial attraction, but still familial attraction nonetheless.

From entropy-sea-system’s post for a definition & more in-depth discussion [link]

[PT: From entropy-sea-system’s post for a definition & more in-depth discussion [link] /end PT]

OP deactivated so I don’t know when this was originally posted; reblogged to radiomogai on the 31st of December, 2022

experiencing little to no familial attraction (Attraction related to closeness or connection that is familial in nature). May or may not include familial attraction to found family and/or given(natal/guardianship/adoptive/foster/etc.) family, depends on whether one wants to count either/both in their familial attraction. Some, whether afamilial, afamilialspec, allofamilial, or unlabelled, may experience familial repulsion or ambivalence. Can occur alongside negative experiences with familial bonds for some, but may not necessarily.

I bring this post up mostly because I feel like discussion of familial repulsion or ambivalence is rare, if at all held. While it offers little in the form of defining familial attraction beyond wanting closeness/connection that is familial in nature, the mention of familial repulsion and ambivalence is important for defining what non-conformance looks like; society does expect one to be comfortable with familial relationships/attraction, so ambivalence and repulsion are non conformant. For that alone, I wanted to mention it.

My thoughts and a conclusion to this response

[PT: My thoughts and a conclusion to this response /end PT]

I feel like what is typically considered conformant will vary depending on what spaces one dwells in. As such, I will offer a range of answers, ranging from more conservative ideas of what family is to a more progressive definition.

More conservative spaces will likely only consider family to be blood family. There will be an expectation that little to no people that aren’t blood related to you are considered family (this factor may differ across cultures). The dynamics expected between members of the family are naturally different depending on what kind of relation there is, but I’d say some degree of “respect your elders” motto would be held as important.

As you move into more progressive environments, all of these ideals, and likely others that I couldn’t think of, would become more lax. Non-biological families might become more “acceptable,” for want of a better word; I know I was brought up in quite a progressive environment, and I can think of a bunch of family friends that I called aunt and uncle and that I didn’t know I wasn’t blood related to until I was older. Having a strained relationship with your family of origin might become more acceptable, though, in my experience, even relatively progressive spaces tend to respond to that with some degree of pity, which annoys me, but that may be a personal thing.

That being said, and this might be a bit of a tangent, I still think that found/chosen family is rarely ever respected as family in its own right, especially when it comes to found/chosen familial relationships growing unhealthy. I know that I certainly felt, and still feel, a lot of guilt regarding cutting off someone I considered, and still consider, family, even though, by their own admission when we got back in touch, they were not acting as one should towards someone else. There’s a feeling that, just because you made a choice to include that person in your family, you can’t make a different choice later. I suspect this is likely to be because those that are drawn to the concept of chosen family, in my experience, are likely to have strained relationships with their family of origin, thus making that sort of action feel like quite a deep betrayal. But, again, tangent- chosen family on its own could be argued to be non-conformant, let alone cutting a chosen family member off.

In conclusion, what is considered conformant and non-conformant when it comes to familial attraction will vary wildly depending on how conservative or progressive the space you’re in is. In both cases, however, I’d argue chosen family is still considered fairly non-conformant, and even within spaces where chosen family is broadly accepted, I’d say that treating it as a relationship that one can leave is not widespread practice, which, in my opinion, is likely due to the fact that trauma and strained relations with one’s family of origin are common in such spaces.

Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction to only some of one’s family members?

[PT: Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction to only some of one’s family members? /end PT]

While others may disagree with me, I would say that it’s not inherently afamspec, but it can be. It depends on whether we’re speaking of family of origin vs chosen family.

When it comes to family of origin, I honestly don’t think it is. One cannot choose one’s family of origin, which means that sometimes there’ll be members within it that one is not familially attracted to. I don’t think that’s afamspec, I think that’s more so non-conformant familial attraction/expression.

When it comes to chosen family, however, I feel like it can be afamspec. I say can, and not is, because I don’t want to push labels onto anyone, and if someone experiences familial attraction to only some members of their chosen family, but doesn’t want to identify as afamspec, that is entirely within their rights and none of my business. With that disclaimer out of the way, I would personally consider it such, as, when one chooses one’s family, it’s also possible to choose to no longer include a given person in their chosen family. Of course, there exist cupiofamilial folks, which means that that doesn’t mean that the relationship inherently has to stop being familial, but that still falls under afamspec in my opinion.

Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction based on gender, given that the expectation is that it’s based on kinship ties and not gender?

[PT: Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction based on gender, given that the expectation is that it’s based on kinship ties and not gender? /end PT]

This one is another “it’s afamspec if the person experiencing the attraction wants to consider it such” case in my opinion. I wouldn’t consider it so, I would consider it akin to being biplatonic or homoplatonic, for example, where one has a preference, but one still experiences attraction, but, again, individual people may disagree with me and want to use the label to describe that experience, which is entirely within their rights and none of my business.

Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction only to those one is not biologically related to? If so, how does adopted and foster and step family play into this?

[PT: Is it afamspec to experience familial attraction only to those one is not biologically related to? If so, how does adopted and foster and step family play into this? /end PT]

I think this is, yet again, a “varies depending on the individual” thing. I think you could absolutely make a microlabel out of this, and some people would definitely identify with it, but I’m not one of them, and I’m not adopted nor fostered, and I do consider my step grandparents (the only step family I have had close relationships with) just grandparents, so I’m not sure I can really weigh in here unfortunately.

An addendum from discussion within the server

[PT: Some addedums from discussion within the server /end PT]

These are less structured thoughts, but, while discussing my responses and the topic in general, Cecil brought up the fact that one can feel familial attraction but not any particular kind of relationship fit it. While it hadn't occurred to me, I do agree that one does not inherently have to apply a specific label to one's chosen family relationship (parent and child, siblings, etc) for it to be familial; they can just be family.

I think that's it!! Sorry for the long post everyone, but i hope you do enjoy my thoughts, and I hope this sparks conversation within the community!! :-) (smiley face with nose)

[webby-mogai]

demi-cedural / demi-tutelary / demi-famial

[pt: demi-cedural / demi-tutelary / demi-famial /end pt]

Demi versions of cedural(link), tuterlary(link), and familial(link) attractions.

[flag 1 id: a demi flag with a large black triangle on the left, a thin dark teal stripe in the center, and two wider stripes around that. the outside stripes are light green, teal, grey and light grey. /end id]

[flag 2 id: a demi flag with a large black triangle on the left, a thin dark purple stripe in the center, and two wider stripes around that. the outside stripes are light purple, purple, grey and light grey. /end id]

[flag 3 id: a demi flag with a large black triangle on the left, a thin white stripe in the center, and two wider stripes around that. the outside stripes are light blue, blue, desaturated blue and dark blue. /end id]

[ryanyflags]

afamilial / afam ✦ afamilial spectrum / afamspec allofamilial / allofam / allofamilial spectrum / allofamspec ✦ familial attraction

Some alt (a)fam flags :p

I wanted to make my own versions of it, kinda like what I did with aphysical, aemotional, and aqp.

I feel like brown and red colours are fitting for familial. Light blue also vaguely felt fitting, but it didn't really fit into the allofam flag, so I just included it in the familial attraction flag (because it'd use more colours).

Then, the afamilial colours are the inverse of that, so green and blue (opposite of red and brown). I also made then slightly cyanish, because on a digital colour wheel, the opposite of red is cyan.

This is kinda the opposite of the original familial and afamilial flags, where familial is blue and afamilial is (dark) red. I wanted to make something more fitting with aspec flags to me.

People can just use whatever one feels more fitting to them. If anyone wants to give any comments on the colours and stuff, I'd like to hear it.

-✦

For the first flag, it's format is similar to other aspec flags. The black, grey, and white stripes represent no attraction, partial attraction, and attraction, in regards to familial attraction, but can also include others too (like experiencing attraction other than familial, or also being another a- orientation). The green and blue is for afamilial.

The afamspec flag uses the main green and blue colours for afam, put into a gradient format like other a-spec flags, to represent the spectrum of afam identities.

For allofam, it follows the format of @isobug's allo-/allo-spec flags (alloro and allosex examples). The top 3 stripes have the same meaning, and the bottom 2 are for familial attraction (the gradient represents it's a spectrum too). Like the others, this includes orchidspecs who wish to be included.

For the familial attraction flag, I just used the above colours I associate with familial attraction. There's no particular stripe meanings, or flag format I followed.

[gender-mailman]

Jimmy familial selfship flag!

Flag to represent those who familially selfship, or one of the characters they familially selfship with, is Jimmy from the game Mouthwashing

Coined by me. Requested by no one. Tagging: @fictoflags

[anattractional-safe-space]

WTF is familial attraction?? Why are you normalizing INCEST???

Omg. It's not incest... Your allo-ness is showing so bad rn... In all seriousness, it's not at all related to incest.

It's a tertiary attraction, which based on the SAM or Split Attraction Model means it's a form of attraction that is neither romantic nor sexual. It just describes the *NON ROMANTIC/SEXUAL* desire to either having a familial attachment to someone, or the desire for emotional closeness with one's family members.

If you wish to understand more, here is the link:

Hope that helps explain that it's not incest, or anything of the like!

As always, of anyone has any questions or would like to share their experience, feel free to send an ask!!!

[tertiary-attraction-archive]

Fictofamilial

[PT: Fictofamilial]

Fictofamilial, is a Familial orientation and an umbrella term on the afamilial spectrum for anyone who experiences exclusive Familial attraction towards fictional characters, a general type of fictional characters, or whose Familiality is influenced by fictional characters.

Familial Attraction Description(link)

[ID: none yet]

[Tag] @radiomogai & @liom-archive

DNI is in pinned post please read before interacting!

[obnebulant-mogai]

Monofamilial Flag!

[plain text: Monofamilial Flag! /end plain text.]

Monofamilial - a term for one who only experiences familial love and/or attraction!

[ID: Two images;

The first image is a flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are light storm grey, storm grey, black grey, silver grey, black grey, smoky grey, and dark smoky grey. The flag has an upside down chevron that is the height of the flag and has its own seven equal stripes. In descending order, the chevron's stripes are light blue, sky blue, navy blue, white, navy blue, light purple blue, and grape purple. End first ID;

The second image is a flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are light storm grey, storm grey, black grey, white, navy blue, sky blue, and dark blue purple. End second ID.]

[ID: A divider that consists of a thin white line with three stars on each side. End ID.]

Flags by me. Requested by @clowncarfullofrats. Tagging @radiomogai.

The only other monoattractional flag I could find to use as a reference was the monoattractional spectrum flag on the LGBTQIA+ wiki, so I'm sorry if it looks a little weird or not what you were expecting! /gen

[decayednightmaremogai]

Draculaura + Alucard Familial Attraction Flag

🦇 - made specifically for me ( @alu-asks ) and my sib @dracu-asks

💧 - feel free to request these ^^

[3scapethevoid]

Familreplato

[plain text: Familreplato]

Definition: a term for an aplatonic person whose platonic attraction is replaced by familial attraction. Anyone who they become friends with is seen more as family than a friend.

Not intended or exclusive.

Not inspired or requested.

Flag/s:

[Flag ID: a flag with six horizontal stripes, the colors in order being grape purple, pale gold, parchment, purple haze, white, black. end ID]

[image ID: A⁴spec+ flag in a black box, next to a longer black box with text reading "DNI; queerphobes, transphobes, enbyphobes, xenogenderphobes, racists, ableists, sexists, intersexists, neophobes, anti mspec gays/lesbians, anti-conflicting labels, anti-kink allosexuals, transids (except transgender), TERFs/Exclusionists, ace alienators, 'ace and aro = same', endophobes" end ID]

[naptimeneos]

⸝⸝ QUOIFAMILIAL - image id in alt id & under cut

(quoi [what] + familial)

an (a-)familial term for when one is unsure of what their familial orientation is, or if one even feels familial attraction. one may experience the categories of familial categories as inaccessible or otherwise non-sensical. similar in meaning to quoiromantic and quoisexual, but for familial attraction.

coined by plush ! flag based on the familial attraction (snotdrips) & quoiromantic flags.

(alt id ; two side-by-side flags. they are nearly identical, except for the left one having a white teardrop shape in the centre. the flags have seven equally-sized stripes that are the following colours, from top to bottom: black, sap green, kiwi green, cyan, blue marguerite, dark slate blue, black.)

[chowdercoining]

Afamilial

Where one feels little to no familial attraction, the lack of familial attraction.

[loser-pet]

(Maybe) hot take:

I don’t see anyone on the internet in a familial manner.

I don’t care how long we’ve known each other; how many secrets we’ve told and promised to keep. It doesn’t matter if I’ve infodumped to you or listened to you infodump. It doesn’t matter if we’ve engaged in deep conversations or had some silly banter. It doesn’t matter if I’ve know you for 1 month, 6 months, a year, 5 years… I just don’t see anyone here in a familial way. I only really feel familial connections with my birth family and RARELY some of my friends. So I’m sorry if some of you see me as a sibling or cousin or any familial term; I cannot reciprocate those feelings. I’ll see you only as a dear friend. And I really am sorry for the people who only see me as family. You guys do mean a lot to me (especially my moots), but I only see you in a platonic light.

[ryanyflags]

What is familial attraction?

No this isn't a debate post. (Just wanted to get that out of the way)

So I've gotten asks about being afamilial (like afam-spec versions of my other a-spec flag sets). And I've read it on this wiki, and have seen it mentioned in other posts.

But I still don't get entirely get it.

It wouldn't feel right making flags (and I guess kind of coining terms) for something I don't understand. And I also would like to learn for myself (might be me?), and it'd probably just be a good thing to know in general.

Would anyone want to elaborate in the comments or reblogs (asks are okay too, if you want to use anon).