#Fake Cheese Cubes

[teddy-bear-naps-and-random-snaps]

[cheesemenace]

Guys I for real just spent 6 hours today working on jewelry and fake armor..

[melhekhelmurkun]

Poor man’s char-coochie board

[kinley-cafe]

Kinley Café Current Menu

The menu may change based on the season or special holiday. Text version with full menu and item descriptions can be found below the cut

ORDER NOW

CONTACT DISPATCH

Drinks

🔥 "You Still Owe Me that Beer" Float  A deliciously tart and creamy root beer float made with quality craft beer and decadent French vanilla ice cream. This delightful treat comes with one turnout straw and one flight suit straw.

🔥 Fake Mouth Static Sparkling Tea  Extra fizzy kshhh butterfly tea ksshhh with honey, berries ksshhh and a helicopter ice cube

🔥 Like That Tommy’s preferred coffee order (Iced almond milk flat white in a clear tumblr with a flaming heart sticker on the cup).

🔥 Cat 5 hurricane Cappuccino A rich and creamy cappuccino in a (possibly stolen) LAFD Helicopter themed mug. 

🔥 Crosstown Cafe Noir Smooth and rich dark roast coffee, with an unexpected kiss of sugar in a cup that shares a pattern with Buck’s shirt from the night of his and Tommy’s first kiss.

🔥 Muay Thai Lessons A refreshing Mai Tai mocktail tea with Muai Thai glove shaped ice cubes, garnished with delicious fruits and a keepsake hook ladder.

🔥 “I took a guess” Mystery Coffee  Not like that. It’s definitely not what you want, but Buck tried his best and that’s all that matters. It's a random coffee with undisclosed, completely random ingredients, served in a green to-go coffee cup wrapped in a cardboard coffee cup sleeve, decorated all over with brown hearts and flames.

🔥“That Fire Was A Beast” thirst quencher  Hydrating strawberry dragon fruit, topped with whipped cream and soot colored chocolate drizzle. Served in a fire hydrant cup.

🔥The “Confident and Interesting” A rich chocolate milkshake served in a beast of a beer pitcher, topped with a mountain of whipped cream, flame cherries, blazing sprinkles, a chocolate propeller and 118 helmet. Made for two.

Desserts

🔥 118 Cream Donuts Bavarian Cream Donuts with fire engine red strawberry frosting and ember sprinkles.

🔥 Fire and Ice Cream  A flaming scoop of Orange Strawberry Lemon Swirl Soft Serve in a keepsake turnouts cup.

🔥 Clipboard Buck’s Croissants A flaky and delicious croissant baked to absolute perfection with a precisely measured dollop of fresh whipped cream and exactly 4 strategically placed, flame-shaped strawberries on top.

🔥 Flying Lessons Fudge Bon Bons Delicious fudge-filled bon bons molded with a headset and wrapped in a pilot jumpsuit colored wrapper.

🔥 Bachelor Party S’mores Sliders Dark chocolate and gooey marshmallow sandwiched between  cinnamon Sweet Rolls. Don’t take too many, or you might pull back a bloody stump!

🔥 Are We Still Talking About Cake? Layered Vanilla cake with Strawberries, buttercream icing and a candy LAFD logo. Go ahead and take it to your table. So you can eat it.

🔥“I’m An Ally” Cookie Bars Delicious copycat Italian cookie bars with bisexual flag layers. Made for any ally, or...more than an ally.

🔥 Daddy Issues Devil’s Food Cake Bites   Red wine chocolate cake bites with a wine ganache drizzle and some flaming hot cayenne whipped topping. Perfect for an intimate evening at home.

🔥 Open Channel Chocolate Muffins Chocolate muffins topped with cream cheese frosting and chocie talkies (chocolate walkie talkie shaped chips)

ORDER NOW

Buck’s Happy Hour

🔥“I am free” This eye opener cocktail is a refreshing and invigorating beverage that features rich coffee with deep, malty notes of stout that lingers in your mouth, much like the sweet taste of a first kiss. It combines vodka, cold-brew coffee, coffee liqueur, stout beer, and a sweet brown-sugar syrup. Garnished with heart shaped mint.

🔥The 24 Hour Shift A highly caffeinated, creamy cocktail with sweet and smooth flavors, made to keep you going for hours. This cocktail is blended with nitro brew, bourbon, brown sugar, and half and half, topped with whipped cream and a cinnamon stick. 🔥Intermittent Showers This cocktail is excitement in a glass. A rush of sweet, smooth and fizz, made with cold-brew coffee, club soda, berry infused rum, simple syrup, topped with silver storm cloud whipped topping and a mini chocolate helicopter.

🔥The “Tommy, Actually” Made with craft beer and espresso to combine strong, bold coffee with the rich flavors of beer, featuring the unexpected sweetness of the heavy cream, coffee liqueur, and whipped topping. Topped with whipped cream and Edible gold Air Ops Pilot Wings.

Anytime Menu

🔥 The Q Word Have you been jinxed? Order one of these special to-go combos to help you get through the chaos ahead.

🔥 “Badass Coffee Mug” Ready to go up? Order this combo whenever you’re in the mood  for a Harbor Station tour from a hot pilot to put a smile on your face.

🔥 “I Need Mo Joe” Looking for a little comfort? Maybe a certain adorable  firefighter can whip up a firehouse family combo for you

Call Dispatch (send an ask) anytime you’re looking for a little pick-me-up and put in an order for one of these combos. 

[finniusastraeus]

This chart doesnt give you precise amounts and some numbers are innacurate so let me clear up here

30kcals per plum

78 per one 2-3'' apple(small), 116 per one 3'' apple (large)

45 per cup of chopped up watermelon

40 in 10 MEDIUM sized strawberries

1 kcal in 1 raspberry. So 10=10

In 10 red cherries there are 45 kcals

17 in 1 apricot

119 for a whole papaya so 59 for half

60 in a cup of cut cantaloupe

50 per 1 orange,

201 in a whole mango, 100 in a cup of cubed mango

37 per 1 tangerine

50 in 1 medium peach

105 in a 7'' banana, 70 if it's less than 6'' long

82 in a cup of pineapple cubes, 452 in whole thing (ik no ones eating a whole pineapple but yk)

20 in 5 olives

64 in a cup of cubes honeydew, 360 for whole thing

33 in 1 large cucumber, 10 in a mini, 8 in a cup of slices

42 in 1 kiwi

100 in a medium pear

240 in 1 avocado

82 in a cup of blueberries, 1 per blueberry

62 per cup of grapes, 2 per small grape

62 per cup of blackberries, 2 per small blackberry

EXTRA

Breakfast tips I learned at the hospital

One english muffin is 130 but if you cut it so you're only eating the edges it will look like youre eating the whole thing but only be getting a 3rd or about 45kcals!! and 1 teaspoon of margarine will cover both of those "halves" and there's 35 kcals in that. so 80 that looks like 160.

A cup of dry plain cheerios is also 80

78 in one large egg BUT throw out the yolk and only have the white. It looks like a full over easy egg but the white is only 17 kcals. Trust me on this one, have it for every meal you can get away with.

Fruit salad

10 raspberries=10kcal

half a small banana, thinly sliced=35kcal

5 thinly sliced strawberries=20kcal

15 blueberries=15kcal

2 tsp sugar free table syrup=0kcal LITERALLY BEST THING EVER

total 80 kcal and the syrup makes it the best breakfast in the world while adding no calories but it makes you feel like youre eating pancakes and keeps you full.

Frozen waffle/pancake, 1=95kcals

Lunch

Use the english muffin excuse to make a sandwhich with just lettuce in it and whatever veggies you like.

what I do is 1 english muffin cut to look like halves but its a 3rd = 45kcal

1/4 cup lettuce=1-2kcal

1 slice of tomato=3

if you want more you can have 30kcal of margarine (1 tsp) on the toasted muffin and half a cheese slice which is 56kcal. so i dont reccomend it.

plus 1 egg white if you want=17

or fake balogny (im a strict vegetarian of 8 years) for 20kcal and like 5g of protien

Supper

One pack of mr noodles has 190kcal. never eat more than half

always make a salad if you can. most can be made under 20kcals and actually taste amazing but dont add dressing they're really high cal.

RICE CAKE PIZZA

this is made to look like you're eating a lot

2 plain rice cakes=70

or one tomato basil=60

2 tbsp grated cheese=70

or 1 tbsp herbed goat cheese=35

slice some mini tomatos and mushrooms/peppers, onions, ect=5kcal

total 100-145 and it tastes amazing

this one would be hard to hide bc the brand name is literally skinny noodles but buy some skinny noodles (9 kcal per serving!! vegan and gluten free) and put them in a box or something. my family puts our noodles in long containers so it wouldnt be noticed and the package could be thrown away

[darlincollins]

darlin roping sam into shenanigans at the summit to make it more fun for him

the two of them playing quarters with the baccarat crystal glasses, doing goofy impressions of various fancy people in the room, throwing cheese cubes at each other's heads, darlin showing sam "how the real estate business is done" and giving him a fake tour of the venue with increasingly untrue statements complete with a ghost story, requesting that the string quartet play metallica songs, teasing vincent about his crown and met gala worthy outfit, eventually getting chastised by david for being clowns and trying not to giggle while he lectures them but then glancing at each other and bursting out laughing

[sapphiclinos-moved]

a small list of some specific things and moments in skz songs that i think need attention drawn to them because of how much they FUCK. part 1?

these range from the delivery of a single word or a single adlib to an entire section of instrumental

and I did write it on a 14 hour flight several months ago so it's a bit all over the place.

anyway press more to read me being extremely autistic about skz music and trying to talk about it with 0 music production language knowledge.

in no order whatsoever:

charmer: 1:15 pigeons follow me [PIGEON IMPRESSION]

cheese the synth moment in the second half of prechorus???? eg 0:56 to 1:02

phobia the 'oooohhh' behind the oh Oh OoAH OOah (it happens twice at the very start)

domino changbins dadadadada of dominos falling at like 1:34

domino the instrument during some verses that sounds like 'wahwahwahwah' I love it

domino just holy shit the entire instrumental I could talk about it for actual hours not kidding

booster the higher vocals in the back throughout basically the whole chorus

booster the subtle ah~aah at 2:26

booster the escelation in the aggressiveness of the "one step ahead"

venom prechorus w the wrapped up around ur fingers bit just LISTEN TO THE LIKE. PERCUSSION? idk wtf I'm talking about so idk how to describe it but this song is like the audio version of a fidget cube to me

freeze the beauty of the fake buildup instrumental. like just really tune in to the instrumental 3:30 onwards it'd so pretty

battle ground 3:06 "toZEN👹" WHATT

mirror the ahhhhs in the prechorus ik we have all noticed it u need to REALLY LISTEN AND FEEL IT

levanter whatevers going on in the prechorus instrumental can u tell I love synths. I love levanter so fucking much man

levanter the way it ends half way through the chorus makes it feel so much more resolute? idk I love it

yayaya the CHOIR AT 2:19 FUCKING GOD

rock 2:23 changbins oh!! ,,,no:(((

question the instrumental at 1:18

YOU. the like?? retro japanese game show impact sound effect?? from 0:50 onwards (btw YOU (the i am you intro) is ot8 safe since only changbin, jeongin and hyunjin are in it)

get cool the instrumental at 1:05 owaouwooo uwAuowoo uWAOUuuu :)))

get cool 2:38 the 'ah~h~hh:)))' in the bg

0325 1:55 part from WHO? ( fun fact for the babystays that may not know since its never been ot8'd)

0325 3:09 BACK W THE GAMESHOW IMPACT SOUND EFFECT YUHHH

entrance 1:13 the faint ahhhhh in the bg that you can can BARELY hear (entrance is also ot8 safe from what I can tell apart from maybe some samples that are too pitch shifted to tell)

boxer 0:45 the way the instrumental comes back in just. rapid slideshow of robots for a half second

chronosaurus the percussion being fast and slow varying gives the sense of time coming faster than it should and I think thats neat.

19 the clock ticking throughout is again neat.

lovestay the strings !!!!!!!!!!! raaah I love me some strings

gods menu 0:37 the subtle 'oooooo's

this is a mere fraction of the things I have to list but I don't want this to get too obnoxiously long. I'm calling this part one for a reason cos I have SO MUCH to say. if u have any suggestions of specific parts or elements that are special to you, absolutely send me an ask pointing it out!

[the-real-things-tournament]

0.5mm Pencil Lead

2002 Honda Civic

320 Pack Glitter Gel Pens

A Blunt

A Candle That Smells Like Fragrant Evergreens

A Copy of "The Book Thief" (2005) by Markus Zusak

A Daisychain

A DVD Copy of Over the Hedge (2006)

A Train

Ace of Spades Playing Card

Adderall

Adipose Plushie

Adorable Cow Creamer

Airpods

An Innumerable Amount of Lost DS Styli

Animal Shaped Rubber Bands

AP French Exam Packet

Argon (The Element)

Aviator Goggles

Baguette Body Pillow

Battery

Bead Maze

Beaded Curtain

Beanbag Chair

Bed

Beehive

Best Rock

Big Drinking Fountain

Black Out Curtains

Blanket

Blue Jeans

Blåhaj/Ikea Shark

Bread

Bright Orange VHS for the Rugrats Movie

Broken Alarm Clock

Bubble Toy

Bucket

Bur Oak Tree

Buttons (for clothes)

Can of Beans

Cast Iron Pan

Cat Collar With Bell

Chalk Boards

Cheese Grater

Chew Necklace

Chicxulub Impactor

Claw Hairclip

Clip-On Earrings

Clock

Coconut Broom

Colored Fairy Lights

Comically Oversized Lollypop

Construction Cone

Contraception

Crane Machine

Crayons

Dead Baby Possum Killed by Chihuahua (RIP)

Digivice V-pet

Dildo

Dirigible

Dirty Glass Bottle You Find In The Woods

Disinfecting Wipes

Dice

Dragon Ball Z Volume 4 (Manga Paperback)

Drinking Bird Desk Toy

Earth

Egg Slicer

Elementary School Yearbook

Empty Pizza Box

Every Basket

Every Knife

Eye Mug From a School Ceramics Sale

Fake Dictionary Lockbox

Fancy Showerhead

Fantasia 2000 VHS Tape

Fencing Mask

Ferrofluid

Finger Cymbals

Finger Cymbols

Fingerless Gloves (made of wool)

Flower Bush By The Pavement On The Street

Four Seasons Puzzle

Froggy Chair

Furby

Furby

Garden Gloves With Claws

Garlic

Gendang

Generic Paw Of A Monkey

Geode

Glow in the Dark Celing Stars

Glow Stick Liquid

"god i wish that were me" Screenshot

Golden Acorn Statue

Googly Eyes

Guitar

Half An Onion

Halloween Skeleton Decoration

Hand Mixer From The '60s

Haunted Callie Calamari Doll That Drinks All Your Pepsi and Calls You a Bitch

Heart-Shaped Glasses

Holly the Dragon Beanie Boo

Homemade Hand Sanitizer

Hurdy Gurdy

Ice Cube

Ice Maker

Japanese 5 Yen Coin

Kids Watercolor Set

Kitchen Sink

Knockoff Garfield Plush

Knäckebröd

La Croix Sparkling Water Pamplemousse

Late Night Infomercials

Lavender Scented Candle

LEGO Spring 2007 Catalog

Lightning McQueen Crocs

Lindt Gold Bunny

Lint Roller

Lip Smackers Watermelon Chapstick

LNER Peppercorn Class A1 60163 Tornado

Lobster Ornament

Loch and Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster Ladles (one solid, one with strainer holes)

Loofah

Lun-Class Ekranoplan

Mammatus Cloud

Manatea Tea Infuser

Meat Cleaver

Meat Tenderizer

Mechanical Pencil

Microscope

Microwave

Mini Cuban Flag on Plant

Mini Fan

Monopoly Dog Piece

Mop

NA Mazda Miata (Specifically With Googly Eyes)

Native American Fire Opal Blade

Nebula

Nokia Phone 3310 (2000)

Occlupanids

Old Faithful

One Crouton

One Flavor Blasted Cheddar Goldfish

Onion Chopper/Mini Food Processer

Opalized Fossil

Oumuamua

Our Sun

Paint Tube

Palm Leaf Rose

Paper Crown

Paper Leaves

Paracetamol Tablet

Pencil

Pizza

Plastic Lightsaber

Plastic Play Food Set

Polly Pocket Website (circa 2005)

Popstar Microphone

Potato

"Previously on X-Men" (YouTube Video)

Rainbow Desk Lamp Christmas Gifted By Aunt

Rainbow Pride Flag

Red Bouncy Ball

Rice

Rocking Horse

Roller Skates

Rounde (Sheep Plush Adored by Friend Group)

Rubik's Cube

Russian Nesting Doll

Salt and Vinegar Chips

Sand-Filled Frog Toy Named Floppy

School Chair Attached To Desk

Screwdriver

Seattle Space Needle

Seki Edge Nail Clippers

Sewing Pin

Sharpie

Shoe Insoles

Shoelaces (From The President)

Silver Hoop Earrings

Simply Southern T-Shirt

Single Macaroni Noodle

Siren Percussion Instrument

Slap Bracelets

Sliced Bread

Slinky

Slip N' Slide

Slotted Spoon

Snowman Headband

Solar Eclipse Sunglasses

Soviet-Era Apartment Complex

Spamton Plush

Sparkly DND Dice That Look Like They Should Be Edible But Aren't

Spoon

Squirmles

Squishmallows

Squishy Water Tube Toy

Stained Glass

Stand-Up Bass

Starbucks Coffee Cup

Steel/Metal Pipe

Stick (From the Ground)

Stop Sign

Stuffed Animals

Styrofoam

Subway Employee Hat

Swiffer

Tamagotchi

The Bible

The Demon Core

The Entirely Of Wikipedia Printed Out

The Giant Canadian Rubber Duck

The International Space Station

The Internet

The Kaaba

The Milky Way

The Mona Lisa

The Moon

The Spinx

The Statue Of The Shoe That Almost Hit George Bush

The Tiny Jack Hiding In The Wall Of My Trunk For When I Have A Flat Tire

The Transistor

The Voynich Manuscript

The Wheel

The World Trade Center (WTC)

The Zener Diode

Theremin

TI-84 Graphing Calculator

Tofu

Tom Scott's Best Thing Survey

Torn Apart Skunk Dog Toy

Trans Flag

Tumblr Anon Hatemail

Tungsten Cube

Two Paper Cockatiels On A Wire Stand On My Desk

Umbrella Hat

Unicorn Pillow Pet

Vicks Vaprorub

Vincent Van Gogh's Sunflowers Painting

Vintage Railway Poster

Walkable City

Water

Water Bottle

Water Snake Wiggler

White Boards

White Out

Wind Chime

Wings of Fire Slightly Used Coloring Book

Wireless Headphones

Working McDonalds Ice Cream Machine

www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com

Xbox 360

Yoga Ball

Yu-Gi-Oh Cards

Zipper

Ōdachi

[extremelyblackandwhite]

Hey Bea so I was wondering if you could write something based off Billy and Daisy first meeting each other because I would love to know how they met and also would ever write about Daisy and Billy like how you write about Steve and Mrs. Kemp???? Love Everly

pairing: steve kemp x dark!reader, daisy kemp x billy

a/n: i'd love to write more about the kemp family, i really do enjoy it!

Y/N stood at the bottom of her staircase, watching as everyone was rushing up and down the stairs, yelling about where a bobby pin or dress was and how long they had before they all had to be in the car. Daisy was the first one down, dressed in a black and white dress as she usually did whenever any events came around and with her head stuck in a Physics book. It was still surprising to her how they’d managed to get Daisy to go to the Christmas pageant - she hadn’t particularly signed up for any choir singing and was mostly going out of obligation to the triplets (whose whole class had been forced to go) and Rose who were performing in choir numbers. The triplets soon rushed downstairs along with Rose. 

      - Buddy come here. - Steve got a hold of William just as he finished eating some cheese cubes. - Your tie is a bit crocked. Do you want daddy to help or do you wanna do it yourself?

      - Help, please.

Even with the mess, she found herself enjoying the small moments from Steve redoing William’s tie and even to Daisy mumbling physics facts to herself. This pregnancy was making her way more emotional than she usually liked to and it didn’t help that it was the season and everything made her emotional. 

     - Right Team Kemp, triplets and William with me in the car, Rose and Daisy with mum. Does everyone have everything?

      - I don’t have the will to live. - Ivy rolled her eyes. - Dad, please don’t make me do it. 

      - It’s not me who’s making you do it, it’s your headteacher, Ivy. - Steve crossed his arms. - No pranks, Ivy. 

Ivy continued rambling all the way to her dad’s car, only stopping when Steve turned to kiss his wife before she went to her own car. They did what they usually did, counting everybody before making their way to the school. The once quiet building was surrounded with parents and extended families, shouts, cries and children warming up. Soon enough, it was only Steve, Daisy, William and her, looking around for seats. 

     - Tell Daisy to close her book, the performance is starting.

Y/N turned towards her daughter, expecting to have to take her book away but instead found her gaze directed towards a crowded area and she doubted it was to stare at the thousands of formally dressed parents. Instead, she guessed her 17 year old was looking at the boy who had his feet up of the seat in front of him, tossled messy shoulder length hair and a combination of jean jacket and jeans that she thought had died with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.

     - Is that one of your friends?

     - What? - Daisy turned around, broken from a daze. - Oh ... hum, no. I’ve just never seen him before. 

     - Go introduce yourself. Maybe he needs a friendly face. 

     - I seriously doubt I’m part of the school’s welcome team. - she opened her book once more, trying to avert the topic. 

     - What are we looking at? - Ivy sat on the seat next to her sister, taking her Santa’s hat off. 

     - Should you be backstage, Ivy Kemp? - Y/N crossed her arms. 

     - Sore throat. - she faked a cough before smiling. - Why are we looking at Billy? He’s a dickhead. 

     - Language. - Y/N gave her a warning look. - Is he one of your friends, Ivy?

     - No. He’s Max’s stepbrother, he’s a dic ... annoying person. He’s in the basketball team and he’s obnoxious. Is he bothering us? 

     - I’m gonna go to the concession stand. - Daisy stood up. - Dad, I’m going to the concession stand. Do you want some Peanut Reeses? 

     - Do you need some money, Daisy love? - Steve moved to grab his wallet from his jacket pocket. 

     - It’s my treat.

She quickly moved away from her family before the conversation could turn into why she was looking at Billy. She’d heard of him but hadn’t actually seem him before and it didn’t look like he was in any of her classes. Not that it mattered, she commented to herself, it was just her curiosity. After all, her parents had always encouraged her to be curious about everything. However, if Ivy was any right, she had no will to speak to anyone part of the basketball team. She’d rather hear Ivy and dad argue than speak to anyone from that team - not that they spoke to her anyway. 

    - Can I get 2 Cokes and 2 Peanut Reeses? - she asked the concession stand employee who nodded, turning his back on her to grab her request. 

    - I didn’t peg you for a Peanut Reeses’ kinda girl. - she turned around to see the same boy she’d be discussing standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. - You look like you don’t even take your head off your books to eat. Thought finals were over.

     - Extra credit. I ... uh Mr. Galloway said he’d give me extra credit if I did a presentation in String Theory. I’m just doing some light reading on it before hand. 

     - I wouldn’t call that light reading. 

     - Trust me, it is light reading. 

     - I don’t know if I can trust a girl who likes a combo of Coke and Peanut Reeses. 

     - Well, we’ve just met so it’s probably best. 

     - I’m Billy. - he extended his hand towards her. - And you’re Daisy. We have Physics together. 

      - I’ve never seen you there before. 

      - Maybe you would if you took your head from your books every once in a while. 

      - That’ll be 4 dollars, miss. 

Daisy turned back to the concession stand, rushing through her purse to find her wallet but before she could even open it, Billy put money on the corner. 

    - See you around, Daisy Kemp. 

[theghostiedyke]

@molsno​ tagged me in a 20 q’s thing. it was originally a reddit refugee thing but now it’s just fun hehehehe

Name? lavi :) i also answer to ghostie :3

Pronouns and gender? they/she; my gender is dyke lesbian. like my sexuality is simply too tied to my gender to consider it otherwise. i am woman aligned because i am in love with women and other lesbians with fucked up genders

Sexuality? lesbian <3

Country? U.S. :/ (but also PR)

Top 5 fandoms? uhhh rn: LOZ, Bleach, Ace Attorney, im probably forgetting some. i’m quite picky with how i interact with fandoms too i like find my lil niche and stay there and ignore the big stuff. i always love when i find fellow queer or fans of color :>

What is your Most forbidden snack? squishies

Would you pet a bug? depends on the bug! it might be too small to be petted or might be something that scares me. i do like to photograph the non scary ones at work hehehe. (i.e. pollinators and or invasive but pretty bugs)

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i am suddenly blanking as if i am not constantly weird and awkward. i wouldn’t call this weird but more so enjoyable but i have now had two parties where i have had a autism moment with someone i am meeting for the first time on the couch. and we talk in depth about our shared interest. truly a melding of adhd (on my part) and austism (on the other persons part).

What does the color blue taste like? “blue raspberry slushies, my favorite flavor :3″ i am partially copying this answer from vivi! and adding on: blue raspberry dumdum lollipops.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? idk if can only pick one thing! so many things are beautiful! Puerto Rico, women, a hibiscus I saw blooming the other day, my baby niece, fan art of a current hyperfixation, my baby nephew’s love of ladybugs, artbooks i bought at a convention

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? only one?? anytime adhd tax has affected me lol, or when it took me literal years to realize two family members were specifically my first cousins from an aunt I never realized was a mom too lol.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a professor asking me and coworker for a “boneless” book when i worked at a uni bookstore.

Hyperfixation song? currently so far so fake by pierce the veil but it might be changing soon

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? my avatar is a lil piccrew of me and the username is now self explanatory but originally was a halloween variation back when ppl changed their usernames. it’s undergone many changes on whims lol.

Dream career as a child? i had a couple of different phases so: chef, fashion designer, interior designer, artist

Dream career as an adult? ehhh designer/artist. i’m content in my job rn i get to do enough of stuff i like and the work environment is good and i really like my coworkers.

Thoughts on cilantro? fresh! tasty! a perfect topping to savory foods!

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? nope

What is your cursed food combination? hmmm i don’t think i have one? when i have like 0 groceries i sometimes experiment by putting different things in rice, like cheeses and sauce and condiments and cooking it with bouillon cubes. 

hmmm okie! i am tagging: @onequeerruffian @mothghhost @hitofthesearchparty

(no pressure though)

[fragileizywriting]

"look, things are fine and all good and are okay," luka tries, when things are not fine and things are not all good and things are not okay. "kitty made herself a vanilla-bean frappe before coming here. that's all."

"that shouldn't have caffeine in it," adrien hisses out, attempting to corral a vibrating, jittery girl in his arms to keep her away from the salami tray. obsession comes in droves and today specifically it comes in the form of kitty inhaling any meat on the party platters at the gala. attempting to look suave and cool and not like he's restraining the shit out of her, he's playing with one of the little fake jewels sewed into the strap of her dress, arms wrapped around her in an attempt to sway to the music.

"no caffeine," she murmurs back. "just really, really hungry. i've had so much sugar i'm about to explode."

"did you not eat before coming?"

"i did." somehow, miraculously, kitty doesn't stumble on her heels as she squirms. "but i can't resist the allure of a salami stick. like a siren. i'm odysseus. i'm about to plunge into the depths of charcuterie. i've already shoved all the cheese cubes i could into my clutch for plagg, so now it's my turn to go ham. let go of me or i'm biting you in the name of my true love, prosciutto."

[teddy-bear-naps-and-random-snaps]

[dragontatoes]

this term i’m taking economics (fake), geology (literally densest possible subject), and chemistry (real but incomprehensible). so I’ll be like ‘OK time for economics homework’ and it’s like what does a cheese shortage and increased sales taxes do to the macaroni industry? and I’ll answer that like it isn’t complete bullshit and be like ‘OK time for chemistry’ and it’s like how many valence electrons are in one sugar cube which contains 4.6952xE-10 Joules of energy? and i’ll click a random answer bc what the fuck and then be like ‘OK time for geology’ and it’s like what color is sulfur. and i say yelow

[hobohobby99writer]

Hello

I'm Swirls!!!! (obvy not my real name) I'm 25 and she/hers/hers I live in Canada it's very cold! I'm devastatingly almost unemployed but I feed the homeless!

This is my side blog my other blog is hobohobby!! (It's a little more unhinged)

I want to be a professional writer.

I love making friends but please don't text me a list of critiques you have about my writing you can post a few in my comments but just a list bashing it is pretty mean.

This is a safe space

DNI homophobes, transphobes, pervs!!!

DNI if you vote trump!!

DNI if you are an abelist!!

DNI if you think "everybody has a little bit of autism" DNI if you are against people with aspd, DNI if you think d.i.d is fake. DNI if you think you're OCD because you like your house clean. DNI if you think people with addictions and homelessness are subhuman. DNI if you are against hypersensitivity or hypo. DNI if you think you have to see disability.

I was born into a very neglectful and brutal household. My Mum has Bordeline personality disorder and a meth addiction. My father is an extremely abusive alcoholic with a meth addiction. My stepdad adopted me at 17 he is an amazing man. But he is passing away of end stage empsymema. My sibling harasses the hell out of me. I'm married to a wonderful man who has severe autism and cannot work. His siblings are ruthless about him just getting a job even tho he can't.

There is my trauma dump. I've been in poverty for 25 years if I were to publish my book "It's been 5 o'clock for a really long time" I may be able to scrape by depending on if people read it or not.

My favorite movies are...

Dinner in America

BFG

Big fish

Cyberbully

Guess who's coming to dinner

Groundhog day

Oculus

Mother!

The shining

Cube

The village

Signs

Old

Sixth sense

Finding nemo

The machinist

My favorite shows are...

The wilds

Doctor who

Degrassi

My favorite authors are...

Lois Lowry, C.S Lewis, Dante, Beatrice Potter, Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstein.

My favorite songs are...

Pumped up kicks, kids, Ohio, wicked games, seven by rks, fast car.

My favorite foods are...

Cheesecake, chicken, turkey, duck, blueberries, fungus, blue cheese, perogies.

My favorite things are..

My husband, cat, the colour yellow, and bricks.

Diagnosises

Autism, Dyspraxia, ocd, ptsd, MRSA, HPV, scoliosis, major depressive disorder, PCOS, hypothyroidism, interstitial cystitis, kidney damage, blindness, hearing impaired, Athsma, generalized anxiety disorder, body dysmorphia, bulimia.

THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME

[gloriabomfim]

Joey Jr.'s Hilarious Disguise

Title: "Joey Jr.'s Hilarious Disguise"

(Scene: Joey Jr. is in the kitchen, plotting a mischievous plan.)

Joey Jr.: (with an impish grin) Alright, it's time for some roachy fun!

(He rummages through the pantry and finds a fake mustache.)

Joey Jr.: (holding up the mustache) Aha! This will be the perfect disguise!

(He proceeds to stick the fake mustache on his tiny roach face. He then grabs a miniature briefcase and puts on tiny glasses.)

Joey Jr.: (in a squeaky voice) Hello, world! I am a sophisticated adult roach!

(Just then, Joey, Dee Dee, and Marky enter the kitchen, and their jaws drop in surprise.)

Joey: (stifling laughter) Well, well, what do we have here?

Dee Dee: (giggling) Look at you, Joey Jr.! You look positively dashing!

Marky: (chuckles) You've really outdone yourself this time, kid.

Joey Jr.: (strutting around) Thank you, thank you! Now, I shall execute my master plan!

(He climbs onto the kitchen table and opens his tiny briefcase, revealing a miniature blueprint of the fridge.)

Joey Jr.: (dramatic) Behold, the blueprint of the fridge heist!

Joey: (pretending to be serious) A heist, you say? What's the plan, Junior?

Joey Jr.: (in a hushed tone) First, we distract Oggy with a dance routine in the living room.

Dee Dee: (giggling) Oh, I love a good dance routine!

Marky: (nodding) And then?

Joey Jr.: (whispering) While he's distracted, I, the sophisticated adult roach, will sneak into the fridge and grab the cheese!

Joey: (claps his hands) Brilliant! Let's do this, team!

(They all gather around, ready to execute the hilarious plan. Joey Jr. leads them in an absurd dance routine, while Oggy watches in bewilderment from the living room.)

Oggy: (confused) What in the world is going on?

(As Oggy is mesmerized by the dance routine, Joey Jr. makes his move and heads towards the fridge.)

Joey Jr.: (whispering to himself) This is it, Joey Jr., your moment of glory!

(He manages to open the fridge and grab a small piece of cheese, then scurries back to the group.)

Joey Jr.: (triumphant) Victory is ours, gentlemen!

(They all celebrate their successful heist with tiny cheese cubes, laughing together in their roachy camaraderie.)

(Scene ends with the cockroach trio and Joey Jr. enjoying their ill-gotten cheese, in fits of giggles and tiny roach high-fives.)

[goldlock1]

ancient lore,

aka things I wrote in middle school, unedited and now available with Extra Cringe via sharing them on the internet

------

Justin raced down the hall, stampeding past the framed photos and artwork on the neutral-colored wall. He skidded to a halt in front of a plain white door and opened it without hesitation.

The moment the door slammed shut behind him, Justin sank against it and breathed a sigh of relief. The Secretaries -- evil old ladies with sharply slanted glasses who hated children -- couldn't get inside the Century Room. Not if it was locked.

Justin opened his eyes. A copper light shone from the desk in the corner. A new message had arrived and with it, hopefully, a new mission.

But it was not a message at all, at least nothing like the ones Justin usually got. It was a notebook -- or, at least, looked like one. Justin had learned that in the Room, things often weren't what they seemed at first. He picked it up and opened it.

His initial glance found nothing of interest. It was likely a diary, probably a girl's from the hot pink cover. But when Justin looked back at the words, he saw several familiar words -- Century, Secretary, and -- wait.

"Justin Time"

Why was his name on the inside cover? Justin was confused until he remembered what Kay had said the last time they'd seen each other. "I'll send you your Record when I've got time."

Was this his Record? He couldn't be sure. Kingdom Keys -- or Kay for short -- was a practical joker on top of being the Matron's official Record Mistress. She could have sent him something totally bogus.

Justin looked at the open notebook again. It was, as Justin figured after reading a bit, an account of his adventures in the Room, and most definitely not fake.

Justin read on, and was soon lost in the memories of his discovery of the Room.

---------

Kay paused in her furious writing. The pages and pages of paper in front of her were covered with her hastily scrawled notes and reminders. The Secretaries believed in the power of paper and pen.

So did Kay.

But Kay's hand was cramping, and there were ink splatters all over the desk from a leaking pen. She could just imagine Mistress Denizen's scolding: Kingdom Keys, what is this mess? No wonder your work is so slow! You want to be a Recorder? Start acting like one!

To be perfectly honest, Kay wasn't really a Secretary. In fact, she disliked Secretaries in general. The only reason she was allowed to be here, training in the Reminders department, was because she was not totally human either. Her mother had been a Secretary, her father a human.

How a human had fallen for a Secretary (or the other way around), Kay didn't know. She did know, however, that she needed to get to work. Mistress Denizen would be making her rounds soon.

----------

"Kay, will you get the door?" yelled Aunt Lupin from the steaming kitchen. Kay sighed and put down her book.

The house was in chaos, just like it was whenever they had a family reunion. Toddler cousins, which seemed to multiply every time they tore through the hallway, were shrieking with delight while their parents chatted and ate cubes of cheese on sticks. Kay finally waded through the mass of people and arrived at the door. Putting on her brightest fake smile, she opened the door.

"Kay! How lovely to see you again, simply lovely! My, how you've grown!"

Kay's smile became more of a grimace as her older cousin Magic gave her a huge, dramatic hug and kisses on both cheeks.

As Magic moved on to other victims, Kay made her way outside. Aunt Lupin's garden was huge, and a perfect haven for Kay to escape to with her book and a chocolate bar she'd stolen from the kitchen.

------------

I think this was vaguely inspired by Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians series by Brandon Sanderson? I think also The Keys to the Kingdom by Garth Nix was in there somewhere (i don't remember anything about that series except that the ending is EXTREMELY disappointing). Apparently I was very creative with names once upon a time.