#FULL GROWN ADULT AND A TEENAGER??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
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(Checks profile to make sure you don't ship spamtis) ok this person deserves to live
#if you ship spamtis....die.#/srs....teehee.....#STOP BEING A PEDOOOOOO#FULL GROWN ADULT AND A TEENAGER??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???#Is it problematic to say “kys” on tumblr like. would you guys be mad at me#anyways spamtis is gross. i hope a bunch of spamtis shippers see this and start crying
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ok so realistically i know theres important character reasons Kendra (and Seth and Warren by extension) never suspect Gavarog. It’s the old society trick to set up threats as team bonding exercises, etc, etc. plus this is a new and unfamiliar world thats rapidly overtaking her real world and replacing all her existing relationships, and right now Gavarog’s like the only member of her magical-worl peer group, so she doesnt want him to be a traitor, just like she didnt want Vanessa, her only female mentor to be a traitor, etc , etc.
but also i wholeheartedly 100% believe that every time Gavin did some truly bizarre, weird ass shit Kendra was just like. damnnnn…. average home school kid behavior.
#like fr tho#is it not just#damn why is this kid whose always telling me about his social anxiety somehow not even a little anxious when we’re actually doing shit#also why is he simultaneously the cockiest motherfucker alive#oh right he grew up on a preserve#damn did this fucking teenager just casually offer to carry a full grown man on his back while jumping at full speed over ledges???#damn i always knew homeschool kids are freaks#like maybe this is my mormon background showing#but everyone knows the stereotypical homeschool kid (tm) right??#fablehaven#why does this kid just casually seem to know what hes found more than every actual grown adult on this dragon preserve?#well shit it this is what he was doing instead of algebra#this poor kid#his father should be in jail#oh shit kendra you cant say that navarog ate his dad 😬#why didnt he laugh at my meme refrence?#damn his dad was probably just like grandpa#has he ever even seen a computer before?#…… tbh breaking kendras stream of thought here#but shit maybe im more sleep-deprived than i thought
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I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.
#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager#I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway#like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽#sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it-#I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell…#this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fans…#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾♀️#rambling
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God I hate Pinterest and I really need to stop reading the comments on literally any post on there
I just saw someone straight up say they’re afraid that show fans who haven’t read the books are going to take over and dominate the fandom and they’re afraid that their memories of the books are going to get overridden by memories of the show because of new show fans, and that’s a good reason to gatekeep.
Like okay, just say you’re a party pooper and go home.
Yeah this is about Percy Jackson but I’m not gonna tag it as that cause I don’t wanna get hunted for sport
#i say this as someone who read the books repeatedly as a kid#like was full on autistic hyperfixated on these books and would read one book in 2 days#and when i finished blood of olympus i would start back over and read from the lightning thief#i’m not exaggerating when i say i think i read each book at least 12 times#these books were so very important to me and i would not be the person i am today without them#and i have zero sympathy for people who want to gatekeep the story from people who didn’t read the books#like sorry i have real problems#and what exactly do you think you’re accomplishing beyond making someone’s day a little worse?#acting like there’s some pure pristine way to experience the story? give me a break#you can love one version of this story and let other people love another version#it took me a while to see that because i was a teenager who liked being angry but that includes the movies too#do i like the movies? not really#but there are people who do and in the end i don’t gain anything by shaming them#god there are some people who treat popular book series like the fucking bible#like it’s some moral crusade they have to go on to defend them from heretics who like the wrong version of the story#grow up and let people enjoy things#*this rant is not aimed at the children saying shit like this#*y’all will grow up and hopefully be more mature about what hills are worth dying on#*this is for the grown ass adults who act like it’s their sacred duty to shit on any changes made from the books#*and if it offends you then you probably need to take a step back and look at why you feel so threatened by other people enjoying things
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I really hate that there is something about me that is just so.... infantilizable. I have had a lot of friends do it, I'll say or do something and they'll just go "ohhhh lee.... noo" in like a patronizing baby voice. like I'm just silly or stupid or too innocent to know what's going on. Or like I brought pancakes for lunch today, which seems like an okay lunch to me, but my coworker told me I eat like a baby.
#there have been so many people my whole life who have been worried about me being unable to live on my own#people who think I am a danger to myself#people who think all my hobbies are childish#people who think my home is decorated childishly#people think I don't dress adult enough#I have the artistic skills of a 12 year old#I have been on less than 5 dates in my life have not kissed anyone have not had sex#find a lot of things about relationships and sex wildly uncomfortable in a way a lot of other people don't#I feel incapable of having real deep long term relationships#all my life people have told me 'ohhh you are so good with kids!!' and i'm not really#i just like all the same things they do#2 of my cousins are 13 and 16 and i get along better with them than any other family members because i have the same interests and hobbies#as two teenage boys... but the thing is that's been true since they were like 10#and now that they are teens suddenly they are doing things i haven't even done and it's like they are becoming grown and i'm still not#I don't know. I am an adult. I have a full time job. I have my own apartment. I pay my own bills#but i still like the things i did when i was 12#and i don't like it when people are mean for no reason#and i don't know that i'm super trusting but i definitely believe people when they tell me things#and so i think i just come off almost naive or innocent or dumb#i am constantly telling my family 'so and so said this!' and they'll go 'that's not true' or 'they made that up' or some other thing#and I end up going 'well that's just what they told me!!' and they're like '*deep sigh* we know lee'#it just... it just SUCKS
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the problem with self-diagnosis that most concerns me is the risk of people, teenagers especially, pathologizing normative behavior
#p.s.#yes there are social and financial and sometimes familial barriers that limit people's access to official diagnosis#and I don't think self-diagnosis is an inherently bad reaction to any of those#but the thing is you can reasonably look through the diagnostic criteria for just abt any mental illness or disorder and diagnose yourself#with it if you spend enough time analyzing everything you do#diagnoses don't indicate just a pattern of behavior but the severity of the pattern and the context in which it was formed#like all those 15 year old who think they have BPD#you don't have BPD hon you're just 15#doesn’t mean you don't need support or mental health services#but the reason we don't diagnose teens with BPD is bc there's no real way to tell since most teenagers just kind of act like they have BPD#if you're acting like you're 15 and you're 15 that's called being a hormonal teenager#if you're acting 15 and you're 30 that's BPD (this is a gross oversimplification but you get the idea)#also we don't tend to diagnose personality disorders in teens very often bc teens are still developing their personalities#like you can do all the research in the world in your early teens and correctly come to the conclusion that your behavior mimicks BPD and#the incorrectly self diagnose as BPD bc you understand all the symptoms of BPD but don't actually understand what a personality disorder is#or how it develops#I've met tons of people who are self diagnosed as this or that who couldn't correctly define a depressive episode let alone their own#diagnosis#also the tendency for people to perpetuate completely normative behaviors as signs of one disorder or another indicates to me that a lot of#people don't understand these diagnoses as much as they may think#or when they blame unrelated behaviors on their self diagnosis - as if that's an excuse even if they were related#again I don't think self-diagnosis is bad but seeing large amounts of teenagers and kids pathologize their age appropriate behaviors as the#most severe kinds of disorders and then having full grown adults go to bat for their right to view their normative behaviors as a mental#disease that they will have to manage for their whole life is... concerning to say the least
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fans are assholes | r. dias
summary: fans compare your pregnancy to fellow wags, leaving you to feel not so good.
notes: as requested! i don’t think i specified that it was twins but it still works. dad!ruben has to be my fav genre 🤪 i hope you all enjoy, some very cute at moments 💘 let me know what you all think! <3
IT WAS MATCH DAY, and although you were feeling rough like you had done the last 7 months, you had promised your fiancé you would make it to today’s knockout game rather than watching from home. he wanted you to support from the stadium, but he also wanted to get you out of the house too.
you were 32 weeks along and feeling very heavily pregnant.
yeah, it’s all fun and games when dating a tall man until you have to grow his unnecessarily large children.
all you wanted to do was lie down and moan this entire trimester, having nothing but a hard time with this one you were growing. you’d had every bad symptom imaginable, from the nonstop sickness and heartburn, to back and hip pain, difficulty sleeping and sore boobs, and now in the final stages you were experiencing braxton hicks, so yeah - all you did want was to lie down and whine. more than ever, you just wanted to stay in the comfort of your own home and nest.
“—you’re not even nesting though! you’re sitting here watching tv all day! get up and get ready!” rúben had said to you just yesterday morning after you’d told him you were too busy nesting to grab a coffee with him before training.
“mama, i think you should go tomorrrow . .” another sweet voice said from the sofa, glancing sympathetically in your direction.
your sweet boy, elias, didn’t want to offend you and make you feel like a slob, but he really wanted you both to go to his papa’s games. with school, you didn’t allow him to go to any late night matches which were always the majority, but tomorrow’s kickoff was 3:30pm and when he pitched the idea, you felt awful for feeling like you’d deprived him of some fun memories.
you really didn’t want to go, but your baby boy deserved it. he’d been working so hard in the last weeks of school and rúben would agree that you needed to take him - he wanted you both there just as much but he also knew not to tell a pregnant woman what to do - he wasn’t the one carrying an 8lb baby around in all summer.
“you nearly ready, baby?!” you called from your room, trying your best to look acceptable for today’s outing. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d done your makeup and styled your hair so neatly, baby dias was really kicking your butt that you hardly had any energy after a shower, let alone doing your makeup and hair.
you really needed them out so you could go back to your old self.
you didn’t remember pregnancy being this hard with eli. with him, you were able to get through the rest of school with him growing in your belly! taking notes and listening in class. sure, you had sickness and a sore back but that was really only at the start and at the end. given, you were younger and full of energy.
eli came along in the last of your teen years but you wouldn’t change anything for the world, same with rúben. he blamed that baby boy for being the reason he pushed himself so hard to get where he was today. he was such an easy pregnancy, and an easy kid.
being honest, you felt more unprepared for this new baby as a grown adult than you did as a teenager back in 2016.
with a few thuds across the landing and a solid jump at your bedroom door, you turned to see your 8-year-old all ready holding two thumbs up. with a man city kit on and trainers, he looked like rúben more than ever. seriously, if you got a photo of rúben back then, it was like looking at eli with a slightly different haircut. it scared you so much. “ready!”
traffic was always bad no matter what time you left, but you got there in one piece and already left eli with one of your closest friends and bernardo’s wife, ines, while you had to run to the bathroom even after such a short journey. jeans were longgg out of the equation so you’d gone with some loose, white trousers to go with the blue football shirt, hoping they didn’t wrinkle too much but still looked good with the outfit. “you are glowing!”
“no, it’s probably just my highlighter,” you pointed to your cheekbone as ines laughed cheerfully.
“no! you look amazing, what are you talking about?! i have missed you!” she couldn’t help but hug you again. “you’re ready to pop!”
she felt your bump and you huffed a sigh, pulling your sunglasses down, “i know, it feels like it.”
you didn’t really like being out this far along, not because you were afraid, but you were at that stage were you were starting to feel gross. like, you looked like a whale no matter what you wore or styled yourself to look like. realistically – you were one of the most beautiful pregnant women the internet had saw. truly, you may have felt like an elephant, but you were still posted on WAG accounts, getting shared by millions of women who begged they could only look as good as you when pregnant or better - envied you for still looking so hot while suffering the struggles of pregnancy.
how?! 😭❤️
life’s not fair!!!! 😫
what’s her secret?!!! 😍😭🙏🏼
but you could have gotten a thousand comments like that . . but all it took was the one bad one.
fucking hell, keep her inside 😂🫣
who is that??
🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮
a lot of the time you didn’t care because you knew how the internet worked, and you know the majority were sad-little-pathetic-football-fan men. they barely impacted you.
when it was women on the other hand . . .
“i just can’t believe one woman would say that to another woman,” you tilted your phone to show ines the replies. “what happened to the whole ‘girls help girls?’” you had to put your phone down before you ended up on a gossip page for arguing with people in your comment section.
“it’s always down to jealousy, babe. they hate you ‘cause they ain’t you,” she pointed, the same thing you had told her when she got her first negative comment, and you smiled at her attempt of making you feel better. she was such a good friend.
the internet was a weird place. your life was a weird place, you didn’t think there’d be a day people hated you for simply being with a person. you found it weird paparazzi followed you around when rúben was the famous one. you found it weird there were accounts dedicated to you when you didn’t do anything. it caught you off seeing people notice every little thing about you or knew things you forgot you’d explained. it did add a little bit of pressure knowing you were being watched and most likely compared to other beautiful WAGS. you’d be lying if you didn’t say you’d put on makeup in fear you’d be posted all over those news articles and WAG accounts.
you forgot how stressed matches made you until kickoff, two minutes in and already overthinking how this would go down. rúben had your heart fluttering nontheless with how he ran up and down the pitch, giving orders all sweaty and even repping the captain band for a bit. it made you feel real good about your baby daddy.
“come on, pa!” your son would shout when a bit of a ruffle would occur, his father speaking passionately to the ref with frustrating hand movements.
the halftime whistle blew and you let out a breath, fanning yourself as your body relaxed for a small moment. 0-0. “ma, i need to go to the bathroom.”
“me too, let’s go!”
perks of dating a footballer? renting out their own box for friends and family - including the private bathroom. no queues around hereee.
walking through the rows and steps, you couldn’t help but feel eyes pinned to you. ines would tell you because you’re a WAG of a player (you regret ever educating her on that term) but really you felt like it was because you looked like a whale making her way through the stands.
eli convinced you to do a lap of the stadium just once to ‘stretch your legs’ when really it was something he always liked to do as he believed it ‘made halftime pass quicker’. so hobbling around with few staff members recognising the kid (or rather seeing the clear evidence he was a mini rúben) , you strolled around the packed building, trying to squeeze past football fans, getting stopped once for a picture.
“thank you so much!”
“no worries at all,” you waved to the two girls, shooting them your kindest smile. they were so lovely, and even complimented you for ‘pulling off pregnancy so well’.
“you’re sLayiNg” eli mocked them, taking your hand.
“shut up,” you tutted. you appreciated being told you were still slaying.
“matt!”
the 8-year-old suddenly bolted to a familair security guard in a neon vest who was delighted to see the boy. “my man!”
you didn’t bother rushing over, you were out of breath as it was and decided to just lean on the wall while elias got his quick catch up, waving at matt instead. halftime was almost over. you should be heading back now.
“—not the best one though.”
“—no, sasha is definitely the best wag.”
i swear, the word ‘wag’ triggers you like nothing else.
you tried not to look around, but to your left, you could make out two bodies mingling with each other. both wearing light blue tops with stylish jeans and trainers, the two girls waiting outside the bathroom, trying to talk quietly between then in a mumbled manner.
you were a mum - you had mastered your hearing to hear the grass grow.
“–but sasha’s not pregnant?”
“–but if she was, she’d have a cute bump, not . . ”
their silence had you believe they’d glance in your direction, and it took every bone in your body not to stare dead on at them with a smile to let them know you heard every word - but you didn’t. you played oblivious and stayed watching eli, a forced sweet smile on your lips.
“–foden’s girl always has a cute little bump too!”
“–oh my god, yes. she’s stunning.”
“–he’s stunning too, to be fair.”
“eli, come on son!” you wanted to bang your head on the wall not wanting to endure the conversation anymore. now you’d tune in, you couldn’t tune out.
“–ok. bye matt! see you later,” he didn’t waste a second to return to you. “see you soon, buddy!”
you waved at matt and led him through the crowds, not meaning to hold his hand so tight until he pointed it out. “ow, ma, you’re hurting me.”
“sorry baby.” you didn’t sound sorry but you felt utterly hot and bothered. and not in the good way.
for some unreasonable reason, a small line of carts drove through the halls, and you stood against the wall as they passed by, holding your son by his shoulders. you could hear a small utter of whispers from your side but refused to turn your head. you really needed to fucking sit down.
“—dias’ girl! look at the size of her!”
“–rob that’s so mean! she’s pregnant!”
“WOW!” eli stole your attention as he almost stepped out in front of a last minute one zooming by. you smiled, and quickly manoeuvred him on your way.
“keep going, keep going,” you shuffled behind him in the stands, but stopped amidst a waiting line as someone caused hassle. your foot kicked something. “oh i’m so sorry!”
you accidentally tapped your foot to a lady’s handbag, but she smiled and waved you off. “you’re alright, don’t worry!” shortly adding, “i’m not surprised!” glancing to your belly.
it wasn’t malicious, but it was about to be the last straw of some floodgates. “ha! i know . . I’m like a whale.”
“how far along are you?” her friend asked.
“about 7-8 months,” you smiled sweetly, ignoring the fact they didn’t assure you that you didn’t look like a whale. thanks.
“oh wow!”
“i know,” you fake laughed. why wasn’t this line moving?
“is it twins or just the one?”
you tried to stop your eye twitching. who in the right kind said that?! was that . . a backhanded compliment?! what that even a compliment?! or was she genuinely asking in a stupid and nosey manner? “no, but it feels like it,” you fake laughed, and they did too. twats.
“oh my! you’re so big!”
“he or she will be a big boy or girl,” the other corrected with her pint in hand, knowing her friend’s words had just flown out of her mouth.
“yeah . .” you were done with this conversation but you didn’t dare be rude. thankfully, the line moved, and they waved goodbye. “congratulations!”
“thank you!” you replied, turning back around, mouthing absolute knobheads.
“mum, i don’t think you’re a whale,” eli’s hand patted your own that rested on his shoulder, bringing you back down to earth.
your heart thumped and although he didn’t look at you, your heart melted to a puddle as you squeezed his shoulders and ruffled his hair, knowing you’d embarrass him with a kiss. “thank you baby. you’re always to sweet to me.”
and he was. you actually . . wanted to cry. shock.
“hey!” ines greeted. “where’d you guys go?”
you only shook your head and nodded to you son who was standing again, ready and recharged for more yelling. you felt ines squeeze your hand and you looked at her, “are you ok? you look . .”
“yeah, i’m fine,” you dabbed your eyes and put your sunglasses back on. “just . . stupid stuff, and then e said something really sweet and i just,” you held your heart which made her laugh and reassure her for the time being. “ok, but . . you can tell me, y’know?”
“just being emotional,” you said the obvious, making her laugh as you leaned into her for support.
you would tell her later, but right now, you were going to use the rest of the game as your excuse to start screaming.
-
the game ended on a win. you saw rúben briefly when the players walked around and applauded, and eli mirrored his excitement and happiness, waving and calling to him as he spotted you guys. he was ecstatic you could make it.
it was after 6 by the time you got home and settled. you were about to order food when you second guess your options, today’s events replaying in your mind:
look at the size of her!
sasha would have a cute bump.
you’re so big!
you knew you were pregnant but there were far nicer things to say to a pregnant lady. what a bunch of assholes.
instead, you cooked some carbs up for eli and made yourself a seperate dinner, feeling the need to watch what you were eating now - you’d be giving birth soon and all those pregnancy cravings didn’t just leave when the baby came. you weren’t silly - you weren’t going to deprive yourself of food, but maybe they had a point - why wasn’t your bump considered cute? was it hard to tell you were pregnant? what were you doing differently?
you were on the verge of calling sasha and asking her what she put in her green smoothies when the door opened.
“meu amor?”
“in here champ,”
something rúben didn’t expect to see what you lying on the couch with a salad balanced on your bump, and you munching away like it was a 5-star dish. “what’s this about . . ?” he smiled sceptically, dropping his bag to the floor.
“what’s what?”
“that.” he nodded to your plate.
you shrugged. “took a notion for it.”
“for . . a salad?” he clarified, looking down at you, entertained in some sense.
your craving for the last 5 months had been anything with chocolate frosting on it. rúben had watched you talk yourself out of buying a tub of it on its own because you knew if was weird and would have to bake go use it.
“yeah.”
to be fair, the salad was tasty, and you were enjoying it but . . at 7 months pregnant? rúben tilted his head. “where’s eli?”
“is his room.”
“he had salad too?”
“he had pasta and garlic bread.”
now he knew something was up. you? not eating garlic bread? italian in general?
someone had said something to you.
he looked at you concerningly, but he was too afraid to ruin the peaceful moment. you seemed calm. he had won a game and you were in a good mood today. baby boy or girl mustn’t be giving you too much trouble so that was a win in itself. so he just leaned down and kissed you lovingly. “hi.”
“hi,” you smiled, pecking him three more times before he rose again. “well done today.”
“thank you,” his hand touched your belly for about two seconds before you swept it off smoothly with your own, squeezing it instead. you smiled up at him again, “love you.”
he kissed you again trying to hide his confusion – but something was up. you were being odd. “love you too.”
and he left and headed for eli’s room, leaving you to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before slouching again and continuing with your dinner.
-
the rest of that evening, rúben was correct. you weren’t yourself.
your mind was somewhere else, and your head wasn’t out of your phone. constantly scrolling, you had overanalysed every picture captured of you today and tried not to nitpick. reading comments. comparing yourself. he wondered what you were doing.
but everyone else did have small bumps. everyone’s looked so cute. they didn’t use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever they wanted or slack with self-care. they still wore tight clothing. they still looked gorgeous. you began to compare yourself to all these other wives and girlfriends on the page, wondering how on earth they looked that good.
ummmm, ‘cause maybe they’re 12 weeks along and you’re triple that?
the next morning, rúben kissed you in the kitchen before leaving. “what’s that?”
“what?”
“that,” he nodded to the drink in your hand.
“a smoothie?”
“for breakfast?”
“well yeah,” you furrowed your brows, and he immediately shook his head, pulling that judgemental, disapproving look you sometimes wanted to punch. “no, no, come on, don’t be silly, now,” he almost laughed, “you need to eat something proper.”
“it’s a smoothie, it has everything i need in it?”
“y/n, make something to eat. you’re almost 8 months pregnant for crying out loud,” he looked at you seriously. he didn’t want to sound like he was scolding you or making you feel stupid but you knew he was worried about the lack.
overprotective rúben had always been a constant in your relationship but when you were pregnant — phew, “you got my baby in there.”
“–and he or she is looked after, it’s a healthy drink—”
he took it from your hand and kissed your cheek in the process, taking it with him to training with a smirk, “stop being lazy and cook.”
you were furious. you were actually annoyed that he had taken the drink himself and didn’t find it funny. he kissed eli’s head and the door closed, and you were left highly irritated.
you couldn’t see eli shrink, but he did, looking wide-eyed at the table as he considered his dad a brave brave man in that moment to do that to you - considering the look of your face.
and as a pregnant woman with her emotional struggling to stay in check - you lost it as they all blended together once eli was dropped off at school, sitting in a car park of a café you regretted going too now that you sat with your decaf latte and triple-choc muffin. the frustration quickly turned to tears as you had a moment, eyes in your hands, thinking over everything the last couple days.
yes you were pregnant, but was there a need to be that big? were you even that big compared to others? were you really that bad to look at? that unflattering? did it even looking like you were pregnant? the loose clothing probably didn’t help, but who wanted to wear tight clothing? pregnancy was hard - it was hard to glamourise it all the time!
you’d never cried over looking bad the first time you were pregnant, maybe once or twice when a pair of jeans didn’t fit or you couldn’t reach your shoelaces, but never over the way you felt about yourself. you actually were starting to feel disgusting, and it was embarrassing because you let randomers make you feel this way!
. . and then the pathetic-ness turned into anger because why were people such assholes?! how can they not keep an opinion to themselves?! making you feel bad about your baby!
. . and then the anger turned to guilt because your sweet little baby was just trying to grow and be healthy and you were upset over it. tears again.
you didn’t know how to fix it. the damage was already done, you had a month left, there was no going back now with salads and smoothies, you yanked your paper bag with your muffin off the floor, eating your money’s worth. rúben subconsciously popped into your head as he was probably eating some fruit salad or nutritious sandwich at this time.
oh rúben. you wished he was here but you also knew you wouldn’t want him near you at the minute, not when you weren’t feeling yourself and you had people in your comments telling you he was on his way of replacing you.
he would call you stupid, but rúben just wouldn’t understand. he wouldn’t get being on the other side, the built in competition that automatically comes with being a woman, more than ever with this lifestyle he had given you. one where you’re compared left right and centre with a certain standard to achieve.
you bet every handbag you owned, he’d screw his face up and go ‘are you serious’ if you told him your issue. he knew you were above anyone commenting stupid things on your posts and found it immature of you in a way if you did take those things to heart - i mean they were nobodies! jealous nobodies! but that’s easy for him to say, his comments are flooded with never ending support, guys praising him for his talent, physique and hard work and most girls telling him to hurry up and leave you. spamming with flame and tongue emojis, thirsting over your man just the way you did, only boosting his ego more which rúben did not need.
so you just felt silly, and picked at your muffin, accepting your were going to be a whale wag.
you felt like a slob when you got back home, staying on the couch after cleaning, and then crying except you were watching a movie to blame it on that.
you still couldn’t get comments out of your head, i mean what was an ‘expired wag?!’ or a ‘busted oven?!’ what did that mean? and why always the skull emojis?!
scrolling once again through photos of comparison, you scrolled onto a beautiful pic of your beautiful bestie, ines, and straight away phoned her. “hey.”
“hey! what’s up! what’s going on? why do you sound you out of breath?”
“why do you think?” you laughed.
“girl are you crying again?!”
and you started talking. you had to get things off your chest and you needed ines to make you feel better, to assure you and let you rant, and she happily did, after all, you’d always been there when she was having a moment.
“–what did rúben say?”
“nothing, i haven’t told him anything. he’ll just tell me i’m being ridiculous.”
“he won’t!”
“ines, he would, he’s not like bernardo. rúben’s harsh!”
“so are you! which is why i can’t believe you’re still crying over this!”
he was harsh in the good way, in the same way you were. you were both practical. real. realistic. you picked each other up and told each off when you were being ridiculous. pulled each other out their asses. brought you back down to earth.
but you just needed comforted at this current moment by your girl.
as you continued to chat and laugh more than you thought, the front door opened without your acknowledgment and rubes stepped through. freshly showered after a long morning of training, he instantly heard your voice rambling over the phone. he took notice of the tissue also crumpled on the floor by the door (you’d been carelessly tossing them for dramatic effect) and paused after he thought he’d heard a sad sniffle. he closed the door quietly and crept near the living room.
“i can’t help it, i do just feel . . blegh,” you felt like you were being ridiculous but you couldn’t help it. “like, why does everyone keep making a big fuss about it? am i really that massively huge or am i just not liked?”
he heard another woman’s laughter on your phone and recognised her as soon as she began talking to you, “y/n, i promise no one is making a fuss of it, it probably just seems in your face all the time because you keep going back to check. i promise the world is not broadcasting you,” ines chuckled sweetly, which followed your sad laugh also.
“well the wag world does!”
“y/n!” she laughed, “you’re overthinking it. i promise you have nothing to worry about. the only person who’s opinion should matter to you is rúben’s and everybody knows he has you on a pedestal!” rúben found himself smiling. he’d always been a fan of ines. “he’s called you his wife since you came to manchester! he’s always been proud to show you off, you look good - you look amazing! people are just saying that stuff about you to make themselves feel better.”
“mm, i guess,” you sniffed, holding your forehead. “i don’t know, it’s just been getting to me . . and i’m not saying to rúben because he’ll tell me i’m being stupid. i wouldn’t be surprised if he was leaving an hour earlier in the mornings to get away from me. it’s not like my looks can make up for my psycho-ness anymore,” you joked.
“y/n!” she tried not to laugh. “though, pregnancy psycho-ness is definitely real.”
it is, rúben mentally agreed also, though his heart still sank further as he heard you talk about yourself in such ways. he didn’t want to call you ridiculous but come on, you were pregnant! didn’t they all count as compliments to a pregnant lady?!
“it is,” you let out a sigh, “i wouldn’t want to be around me either, just this big angry rhino walking around the house,” you laughed together, “he goes to a paris event on friday anyway, he’ll get a break and have plenty of french models to—”
a clear of a throat had you whipping your head to the door, seeing rúben’s hard stare. your mouth went dry. “uhhh, ines i’ll call you back.”
you felt bad hanging up as she was speaking back, too shocked you’d been heard rambling for the last couple minutes. or probably longer! how long had he been standing there?!
“listen—”
“french models?! french models, y/n.”
“rúben, it’s not in context—”
“oh i heard the context, i heard everything,” he came in the room, not one spot of happiness found on his face. he was fuming. you could tell, and disappointed too, you felt like eli getting told off by him, throwing yourself back into the couch as he stood with that gruff, intimidating look, hands shoved in his pockets.
“you don’t get it—” you could already feel the tears welling in your eyes, though a pit of frustration was brewing in your chest hot and fast. this was going one of two ways.
“what don’t i get? you don’t tell me what’s wrong when i ask you!”
“‘cause you wouldn’t understand!”
“ok but what i do understand is my wife accusing me of what? getting to pick which ‘french model’ i want to take home next week?”
now your face fell flat, realising how ridiculous and cruel that sounded. you shouldn’t accuse him of that kind of stuff.
“rubes, i just—” your mouth felt dry again. tears brimming again, you could feel how hot they were. the words were on the tip of your tongue but you didn’t know how they were gonna come out.
“what is it? tell me,” he pushed, eager for you to actually get out what you wanted to say so he could help sort it. “i’m here to listen.”
and you did, you unleashed it all. “people are assholes. your fans are assholes. i’m sorry but i cannot believe the stuff people have no issue saying to other people - pregnant people at that! as if the 9 months aren’t hard enough, i have this mob of men and women on my back, judging and critiquing my every outting. i can’t do it anymore, it’s actually ruining whatever self-confidence i have left!” the tears were streaming as you began your rant, choking down sobs as you moved your hands, a fury behind all the sadness.
rúben crouched down, wanting to be nearer as you let it all out. “every day, every hour, i have someone online, reminding me off how big i am, how unflattering my paparazzi pic is, how whale-like i am! how hard it’s gonna be to shift this baby weight! i’m getting put in competition with every other pregnant wife and girlfriend of your teammate and showed how much better they pull it off! how gorgeous they look all the time! how their bumps are ‘cute’ and small and ‘suits them.’ i heard it myself at your game the other day! it’s like they’ve never seen an un-photoshopped pregnant woman before!” you met his eyes, realising you were probably being silly and that there were bigger problems in the world. “i just feel disgusting, rúben. i never felt like this with eli, i was in this perfect little bubble but this time so different. i don’t want to leave the house when i know a monstrosity of photos are getting taken of me, pointing out every flaw. i don’t have a cute, small bump! i do look like a whale! i can’t dress sexy! and i get what people are saying when they say it’ll be a bit before you can look at me again ‘cause god knows—”
“shh,” he quickly silenced you, placing a finger to your lips. his brows were furrowed as yours did, fed up of hearing you ramble about all the bad things about yourself. he felt pain in a way. he just couldn’t believe you actually thought these things about yourself. “wha— . . . are you being serious?”
“OH MY GOD!” you threw your arms up. see!
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, meu amor,” his big hands softly caressed your legs in front of him, along your smooth thighs to stop you from exploding again, “i’m sorry. it’s just . . i . . it annoys me that you let these things get to you, these random, strange people that you don’t even know. you take their opinion over mine. so mine doesn’t matter, it doesn’t count?” he looked you deeply in the eye, “how does that make sense? explain that to me.”
your head hit the cushion as you groaned but rúben held your hands comfortingly. he didn’t want to make you feel stupid, but he wanted to hear your thought process. “to me, it’s like . . you have the choice of walking into a room full of all these people who hate you, and you know the hate you, after being in one full of people you love . . and you go into the hateful one and are surprised that all these people are saying all these bad things about you when you could have just left it alone and focused on the lovely ones - from people who matter to you! who are actually in your life! do you understand?”
you nodded along, entranced by his eyes and how they were able to ground you alone. “you know that i think you’re the best thing in the world. you know i would love you if—” he thought off the top of his head, “you had 10 extra toes. a third eye. if you had a cow nose. elf ears!” your hair slipped silkily through his fingers, “you know i think you’re the most beautiful woman ever even dressed in a trash bag. i would still love you if you did wear trash bags. if you had a cow nose. if you weighed the same as a cow. if you weighed the same as a baby cow,” you broke a chuckle at that. “i’ve loved you through our ugly teen years, when i shaved my hair and your eyebrows were stick thin,” you laughed more as he let out a breath of relief, “i loved you when with vomit down your shirt and your hair dyed that weird colour—”
“rúbennn . .”
“what? and i loved you when you had eli in your stomach, and he was big baby,” his hand touched your belly, moving it in the same motion he always did because that’s when he got to feel the small kicks of this baby dias. “i loved you even more even when i saw how he came out,” he shot you a wildered look.
you facepalmed, dragging your hand down dreadfully at the thought of having to relive that moment all over again in over a months time.
his features turned as his thoughts turned sour, “why are you letting stupid fucking people affect you?”
“i don’t know . . i guess ‘cause so many people are saying it i . . it must be true to some extent—”
“y/n—”
“seriously, rúben. i don’t have a cute, small bump. ines and rebecca are always such sweet—”
“Y/N! have you SEEN the size of bernardo and phil next to me! is it any wonder they’re small! their child comes out the same size as them!” his hand shot out with passion.
now your head was in your hand with muffled laughter, caught off guard by his statement. “seriously! seriously, now you’re supposed to be the smart one,” he tried to look at you, that loving smile shining your way as his heart sang at the sound of you laughter. “you’re shocked that me, that we, have big babies . . that ines has a much smaller bump than you . . are you serious? that rebecca has a smaller bump than you? rebecca, phil and elway stacked on top of each other wouldn’t even reach the height of me!”
“rúben,” you laughed, feeling an actual blush of embarrassment coat your face at how stupid he’d made you feel, but in a good way.
he was so right. what were you thinking?
“i’m like, the biggest guy on the team! sorry i didn’t realise that was gonna be a problem for you,” you lightly hit his shoulder to wrap up the sarcasm, still giggling. he looked at you from the floor, his hands still on you, on your leg on bump — the bump that he did make look small next to his hand. “and please remember you’re a month away from giving birth, you’re supposed to be a healthy size. and i been going to training an hour earlier ‘cause i know when this one comes along, i’ll not want to go as much and i’ll want to stay with you both. i’ll start working on my dad bod . .” he felt the small, subtle movement happening inside, but he could feel them if he kept still enough.
“you’d look good with both.” you rolled your eyes.
“and you’d still look better. y/n, you’re not a whale. please stop saying that,” he finally crept to his feet, climbing on the couch on top of you, leaning his arm behind your head. “you are the most beautiful-est woman to me and no-one, NO-ONE can convince me otherwise. you’re my standard of perfect, of gorgeous and sexy and all the rest of it. i’ve found you sexy before this baby, during this baby, and after this baby — i still get comments of people telling me how ugly i look when you’re next to me! you bring my value down!”
his arm wrapped around your neck while the other threw itself over your bump, shifting and snuggling into the sofa more comfortingly, you relaxed alongside him, the tears no trickling down but with good reason behind them as you were shocked to find your love growing even more for rúben when you thought it was impossible. “i don’t know what comments you’re seeing because all i see are the ones calling you a milf, and it takes too much time to try and report them all.”
you held his hand at your shoulder, his lips kissing your cheek repeatedly, over and over again. you knew how much he loved you. “yeah, you’re right. fans are just . . assholes.”
“fans are assholes,” he agreed, stroking your cheekbone, “. . don’t listen to them. you think i listen to everything they say about me?” he perked a brow.
sometimes! you wanted to say but knew better. it was rhetorical question, and you knew his sweet intentions.
“alright? i don’t so why should you? you’re hot stuff babe,” he looked at the side of your face, inspecting every little freckle and faint scar, he just wanted to never stop kissing you. “i love you the way you are. eli loves you for the way you are, and this baby,” he rubbed circles on your belly, “he or she is going to be so unbelievably lucky when they see who they have as their mam. i know it’s not the smallest bump but i think it’s the cutest i’ve ever saw, with my baby girl or boy in there,” he kissed the size of your stomach. he grew more and more excited each day as he got a day closer to meeting who was inside. he couldn’t wait. “. . who they get their good looks from and skill and personality - well, i mean i would like to take some credit for the both of those ‘cause i mean their daddy is pretty c—”
you playfully jabbed his side, making him laugh. “yeah, he’s the hottest one on the field,” you glanced at him, kissing his cheek.
one thing about him, he’d always blessed you with beautiful children.
“yeah, and their mum is coolest one at the school pick up,” his lips trailed along your cheek to your jaw, the slight scruff of his beard tickling you. “you’re the biggest milf to walk the planet–”
“rúbennn,” you chuckled, blushing at his words whilst trying to push him away.
“i’m serious,” he proceeded, peppering kissed down your neck, “and she’s coming to paris with me for the weekend so she can outshine me like she does at every event she comes to.”
you laughed at that, smiling dreamily as he proceeding to love on you.
“and eli?”
“elias gets to stay with his favourite uncle who owes a favour,” he winked.
“hmm. ok.”
“and i’ll give her a reason to cry if she starts thinking like that again,” he whispered in your ear.
your heart slipped a beat. “oh yeah?”
“ohh yeahhh,” he nodded, standing to his feet, not before a loud ‘smack’ echoed the room as he mimicked what your poor backside would get if you kept up that kind of behaviour. “see you upstairs, mama.”
you blew your hair from your face, heart thumping, your hands slowly crept up to your adorable little bump where you caressed it gently as he headed for upstairs, whispering softly, “you are soo lucky he’s your papai.”
your heart raced as he peeled his hoodie off, back muscles staring right at you as he headed for your room, you felt your insides begin to sizzle.
— but you were even luckier he was your husband.
#ruben dias#ruben dias x reader#rúben dias#ruben dias fic#ruben dias fanfic#ruben dias imagine#ruben dias fluff#ruben dias x y/n#ruben dias x you#ruben dias oneshot#dad!ruben#football imagine#footballer fanfic#football fanfic#footballer imagine#footballer oneshot#man city#manchester city
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Ready
An anxious!reader fic.
Summary: Harry wants kids. Y/N isn’t sure what she wants. Feeling pressured to make up her mind, she agrees to something she’s not ready for.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: angst, smut
A/N: Hello! It’s been a while. This fic is based on this ask I received forever ago. Enjoy :)
***
Y/N has always been on the fence about having kids.
As a young teenager, she assumed she would have them when she grew up, fell in love, and got married. Social norms, along with her own childish naivete, made her believe that this was the only path one could take in life. Having children was the next logical step to marriage, which was the next logical step to falling in love.
And then she matured and realized that life is not nearly as cut-and-dry, that having kids is a choice, not a necessity, and that she can absolutely go her whole life without having any if that’s what she wants. This realization came as a relief but also felt somewhat unnerving because how is she supposed to know what she wants? She is quite possibly the most indecisive person on the planet, so it’s no surprise that she has bounced back and forth between wanting and not wanting children throughout her entire adult life.
On one hand, she thinks of her friends who have kids and how their lives have become utterly consumed by the little humans that require their constant care and attention. There is just so much that Y/N wants to experience and achieve before settling into a life like that.
Not to mention the horrors of pregnancy. It’s not exactly a walk in the park, having to carry a human life inside of you for nine months and then give birth to it. The health complications, the irreversible bodily changes, the sheer, agonizing pain of childbirth.
And yet, on some days, she fantasizes about becoming a mother, of holding a tiny life in her arms and nurturing it into a full-grown adult. An important character in these fantasies has always been the sweet, thoughtful, loving partner by her side who takes equal responsibility for their child. This person was always a faceless individual—an idealistic depiction of the kind of partner Y/N hoped to find someday.
And then Harry came along.
Sweet, thoughtful, loving Harry who, unlike her, was always sure of his desire to have kids. For him, it was never a question of whether he wanted them but a question of when.
That moment finally arrived for him a year ago. But Y/N wasn’t sure if she felt ready yet.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked her one day. “I don’t mean that in a judgemental way. Bringing a child into this world is scary for anyone, including myself. I’m just curious to know what your specific concerns are.”
“Well, there’s the usual stuff, like whether or not I’ll be a good mother—”
“You’ll be a phenomenal mother.”
She smiled at him, then continued, “Or whether my kids will be able to have a good future with so much chaos in the world...” She trailed off hesitantly.
“But there’s something else,” he said, gently urging her to share what was really holding her back.
“I… I’ve always been terrified of the idea of having to raise a child alone, either because something bad happens to the father or he leaves out of the blue or we break up and I’m left to take care of this child by myself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I… I’ve never been able to shake this fear.”
“Doesn’t sound ridiculous to me. I was raised by a single mother, so I know it’s not an easy job.” He reached for her hand and kissed her knuckle, never breaking eye contact. “But I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. You know that, right? We’re in this together. We’re a team, always.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“Well, I’m alright with waiting until you feel ready. I want us both to feel ready before we jump into this.”
In the six months following that conversation, the topic would crop up several more times, like after Harry saw her interacting with his godchildren at a party or they walked past a cute baby in a stroller at the grocery store. Y/N didn’t mind discussing the topic. It gave her a chance to ponder and become more comfortable with the concept of motherhood.
Yesterday, Harry returned home from a month-long movie shoot in Sweden. Y/N surprised him by showing up at the airport. What he doesn’t know is that she has another surprise in store for him.
While he was in Sweden, she decided to go off her birth control and now wants to try for kids.
She plans on telling him later tonight once they get home from their friend’s birthday party. They’ve been all over each other tonight. That’s what being apart for a month does to them. Hell, even a week apart is enough to turn them into a couple of horny teenagers that can’t keep their hands off each other.
“You look so hot in that dress,” Harry whispers in her ear, half-joking because they both know this is his fifth time saying that tonight.
Emboldened by a couple glasses of wine, a tipsy Y/N whispers back, “I want you to put a baby in me.”
His eyes widen. He chuckles. “That wine bringing out your wild side?”
“I’m serious,” she states, glancing around to double check that no one is within earshot of their conversation. “I went off my birth control a month ago, after you left for Sweden.”
He stares at her blankly, like her words haven’t quite sunk in.
“H, I’m ready to do this.”
“Really?”
She smiles. “Yes.”
“We’re doing this,” he says as it finally sinks in. He kisses her wine-stained lips. “Let’s get out of here, yeah?”
“Yes, please.”
Y/N can hardly keep her composure on the way home. Harry appears to be in the same boat, as he keeps sneaking glances at her while driving, his hand caressing her thigh. While he’s always been a responsible driver, she can sense the impatience in his maneuvers tonight.
Once they’re home, it’s almost a race to the bedroom. Harry gently pushes her onto the bed and climbs on top of her.
“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to watch you walk around in this dress tonight”—he runs a hand down her front—“and not be able to bend you over and just slip my cock into you?”
She moans as he cups her pussy through her dress with a firm hand. He lets her grind against it for a minute before pulling away to take off his clothes. She follows suit.
Soon, they’re back on the bed, sharing another series of ardent kisses. By the time he goes down on her, she’s already dripping wet and he licks it up as if he hasn’t had a drop of water in days. Her hips grind against his tongue like they did against his hand just a moment ago. It doesn’t take her long to orgasm.
He shifts up the bed to hover over her body. He kisses her again while lining up his cock with her entrance. As he slides into her, she feels a slight discomfort from being stretched open for the first time in a month. He pulls out and pushes in a little deeper each time to let her adjust until he fills her up completely and she’s too immersed in pleasure to have a single coherent thought anymore.
“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he says, starting to pump in and out. “Gonna come inside you, yeah? Gonna come deep inside your tight little cunt and fill you up, put a baby in you. Is that what you want?”
Those words flip a switch in Y/N’s mind. She makes an involuntary noise that makes it seem like she’s agreeing with him, so he picks up his pace. Just as he finishes inside her, the terrible realization dawns: She is not ready to have a baby. Not at all.
“I love you,” Harry whispers in her ear, his body resting flush against hers as he comes down from his high.
Tears spring to Y/N’s eyes as she realizes what she’s done, what they’ve just done. When she doesn’t reciprocate his statement, he lifts his head to look at her. A tear escapes her left eye at that exact moment.
Concern furrows his brow. “Lovie? Hey, what’s wrong?”
She just shakes her head while staring at the ceiling.
“Y/N.” He caresses her cheek, urging her to look at him. “What’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did I go too—”
“We shouldn’t have done this. It was a mistake,” she says in a trembling voice.
“What are you talking about?”
She tries to sit up. Harry moves out of her way.
“I’m not ready, H. I’m not ready to have a baby.”
His face falls. “I— But— Then why did you say you were ready?”
“I don’t know… To make you happy?” She covers her face and hears him sigh heavily.
“Y/N, you can’t— You can’t lie about things like that just to make me happy. It’s not like we were deciding what to have for dinner. We’re talking about having a baby, for Christ’s sake.”
“I know that. Of course I know that. But I just— I see the disappointment in your face every time we talk about this, every time I tell you I’m not ready. You seem so sad, Harry. I hate it.”
“Well, I’m sorry I’m not able to hide my emotions as well as I thought I could. That still doesn’t mean you should lie to please me. I thought we were past foolish antics like this.”
She squints at him. “Foolish antics?”
He sighs again. “I didn’t mean it like—”
She turns away from him and gets off the bed.
“Y/N.”
She shuts herself in the bathroom. For a brief moment, a part of her resents him. Resents him for being ready to have kids before she was. For bringing it up so often. For making her feel as though she needed to lie about being ready just to make him happy.
But now, as she stares at her teary-eyed reflection in the mirror, she knows she has to take responsibility. She is the one who led him to believe that she was ready when deep down, she knew she wasn’t. He never once pressured her to make up her mind or acted like he loved her any less for not wanting kids yet. He never made her feel any type of way about it. He has done nothing but be the supportive, understanding partner he’s always been. It was her who doubted that. She let her own paranoia get to her.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Y/N? Can I come in?”
A few moments later, he knocks again.
“Please, lovie? I’m getting worried.”
Finally, she opens the door. He takes in her red, puffy eyes and tentatively places his arms around her, only pulling her in when she steps into his embrace.
They stand there silently until he says, “Why don’t we head over to the pharmacy and get you a morning after pill?”
She agrees, so they get dressed and head out. The ride to the pharmacy is a quiet one. Every time she glances at Harry, his eyes are focused on the road, both hands gripping the steering wheel, and he appears deep in thought. It’s the complete opposite of their ride home from the party, when he could hardly keep his hands or his eyes off her. She tries to think of ways to break the silence, but nothing feels appropriate. The last time she felt so awkward and unsure about what to say around Harry was when they first started going out and she was terrified of saying the wrong thing.
When they get back from the pharmacy, she swallows down the pill with some water and they head back to bed.
***
Y/N: Hey H, you on your way home? Hope you’re hungry, I made your favourite for dinner 😊
H: I have a business dinner tonight. Mentioned it this morning
Y/N: Oh! Sorry I forgot about that. I’ll save some in the fridge for you for tomorrow
H: Sure, thanks
Y/N stares at the message. She can’t tell if she’s reading into things or if Harry’s replies really are as dry and aloof as they sound. Her propensity to overanalyze everything makes it difficult to know. Ever since the incident in the bedroom a few days ago, it feels as though Harry has been avoiding her. Spending long days at the studio, coming home late at night when he knows she’ll be asleep, giving short replies, taking longer to text back. They haven’t had sex again since then either.
After scrutinizing their text conversation for twenty minutes, she comes to her senses and realizes that she can’t keep going on like this. It’s driving her crazy. What she needs to do is talk to him. But he’ll most likely be tired when he gets home.
At first, she thinks she’ll sit him down tomorrow morning and talk it out. But when he walks through the front door just after eleven o’clock that night, she can’t help herself.
She stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a cup of tea, when he enters. The dark circles under his eyes are noticeable. He has been willing to sacrifice his sleep just to avoid being around her any longer than he has to. Her chest constricts.
“Hey,” he says, placing his phone and keys on the counter. “You’re still up.”
“Can’t sleep.” She stares down into her half-empty mug, the remainder of the tea quickly growing cold.
“How come?”
“I can’t stop thinking.”
“About…?”
She swallows the lump in her throat and looks up at him. “About whether or not you’re upset with me and how I can fix it.”
He frowns. “Why would I be upset with you?”
“Because of what happened a few nights ago.”
His frown dissolves into something different—sympathy? Guilt?
“Y/N, I’m not upset with you about that.”
“Are you sure? Because it seems like it. You’re gone before I’m even awake and you come home when I’m going to bed. We’ve barely talked or kissed or cuddled in the past few days. I know you haven’t been that busy since you got back from Sweden, so… I don’t really see any other explanation.”
He stares at her wordlessly for a long time before speaking. “You’re right. I have been avoiding you. But it’s not because I’m upset with you. It’s because I’m upset with myself. I feel like I pressured you into doing something you obviously weren’t comfortable with. I never saw myself as someone who pressures people into doing things they don’t want to do. So, I suppose I’ve been feeling some shame and guilt about it… and then avoiding you because it’s hard to face these feelings.”
Y/N sets her tea on the counter. She never could’ve guessed that Harry felt this way. She was so convinced that he was mad at her, it didn’t even occur to her that he might just be feeling guilty about it all. After how long she has known him, it should have been obvious that the latter is more consistent with his character, but her anxious brain wouldn’t even let her consider that possibility. She walks over and wraps her arms around him.
“H, I had no idea you felt that way.”
He squeezes her tightly, resting his chin on her head. She turns her head to the side so that her cheek is against his chest.
“To be honest, there were times I felt pressured when the topic of kids came up,” she says. “But a lot of that pressure was created by my own fears and insecurities. I just hated disappointing you over and over. I was scared your feelings about me, about us, would change if I kept saying I wasn’t ready.”
“This hasn’t changed how I feel about you or us. Y/N, I want you more than I want kids. Way more. If you decided one day that you don’t want them at all, that still wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”
She pulls back to look at him. “Are you sure? That’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people.”
“Well, not for me. Not when it comes to you. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Suddenly, he lifts her up onto the counter and stands between her legs.
“So. What did you get up to today?” he asks, planting a kiss to her collarbone.
She rests her hands on his chest. “Hmm, what did I get up to? I hardly remember anything other than obsessing over this whole situation.” She laughs.
“Aw, lovie, I’m sorry I had you all stressed out.”
“It’s okay.”
“Maybe I can make it up to you. Help you relieve all that stress.” He peppers kisses along the side of her neck and jaw.
She sighs softly and closes her eyes. “I would like that.”
***
Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#harry styles x reader#harry styles imagines#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles x you#harry styles fic#harry styles writing#harry styles x y/n#harry styles oneshot#anxious!reader#my writing
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okay i've had this thought brewing for a while and i think you're the only writer who would do it justice!
reader meets jason again post-lazarus pit and he's amazed by how different reader is look-wise. reader was a teenager the last time they saw jason and now as an adult they've gotten a more "adult" body. reader is curvier, fleshier, no longer as lean as they were as a teen and is a bit self conscious about their body. but it drives jason wild to see his old crush all grown up into this mature body, hell he's changed a lot too. but yeah i feel like jason would be so body positive and full of praise 🩷
decided to combine this with a request i got for this prompt: 8) we share the bed because this is what we’ve done since we were kids, regardless of the adult implications now. i so agree with you anon, i think jason would be simultaneously body positive and absolutely FERAL for his old/current crush ;)
jason todd x gn!plus-sized!reader. reader used to work with the bats and is best friends with jayjay. reader is insecure and speaks poorly about their body. jason does NOT like that and desires you carnally! wahoo! suggestive content but no outright smut.
****
You haven't been in Jason's room in five years.
Alfred's kept it pretty much the same. Same books on the shelves, same Gotham Knights sweatshirt Dick gave Jason for his birthday. The curtains are the same shade of maroon, and the left one has a tear from when you played with a batarang. Jason had covered for you and was grounded for a week.
You flip through a dog-eared copy of The Three Musketeers. A few of the pages have underlining in pencil. You trace them with your finger.
The door creaks open. You look up.
Jason freezes in the threshold. His wrist is bandaged and you can see stitches on his forehead. You frown.
"Hey." You set down the book and go to him, offering your shoulder for him to lean on. "You okay?"
Jason sighs, ignoring your shoulder. "Who called you?"
"What d'you mean? We're psychically linked, Jay-Jay. I sensed that there was trouble afoot in Gotham City."
"Uh-huh. That didn't work when you tried to convince the old man I needed a puppy because you psychically divined that it knew me in a previous life."
"You and that Terrier were soulmates and I'll hear nothing of the contrary."
You take Jason's arm, despite his protests that he can make it two feet to the bed. He lays down, trying to hide how his arm twinges in pain. You frown and slip in beside him.
Jason's a lot bigger than he was the last time you shared a bed. Well. You both are. You roll over so you're facing him, squished against his side. You pull your leg up, suddenly self-conscious about everything Jason might be able to see.
Jason is warm. He's warm and big and solid and good God, you've missed him.
Your best friend is also fucking gorgeous and you really want to kiss him, but, uh. Ignoring that. You're very practiced at ignoring the urge to kiss Jason.
"Thanks for comin'."
The light is still on, casting a soft orange glow across Jason's features. He glances at you, lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. You can count all the freckles on his nose, this close.
"I'll always come when you call, Jay," you say. "Well, when Dickie calls. Said you got a concussion."
He turns his head, sighing at the ceiling. "'S not a big deal. Mild concussion. Leslie said I'll be fine in a week, but we all know that's code for two days."
"Yeah, I don't think so. You bats really are birds of a feather."
"How dare you. 'M nothing like those wackos."
"Sure, buddy. Keep lying to yourself. You brought me in all those years ago for a little normalcy."
"My mistake," Jason says.
He gets thwacked with a pillow for that. It fluffs his curls. He grins at you.
You tuck in closer, resting your chin on his shoulder. Jason turns his head so his cheek rests on the top of your head.
"You can have the bed," he says.
"Don't be a silly goose."
"'M gonna go home anyway."
You scoff. "Not like this, you're not."
"Been worse for wear."
You roll your eyes. "How are you gonna ride your bike with a hurt wrist and a concussion, genius?"
"Please, babe. The real question is how will I sneak past Alfred?"
"I'm a babe, now?"
Jason half-smiles. "Always were."
"Liar. Can you imagine me in a Batsuit again? Exactly, you can't. I simply don't have the bod for it."
"Hey." Jason reaches down and gently pinches your thigh. "Why ya doin' that?"
"Doing what?"
"Talkin' bad about yourself. Don't do that. 'Sides, it ain't true."
"Jaybird." You level him with a look. "Be serious. I know you're my best friend and you have to say that, but c'mon. I've seen the hotties you work with. Hell, I've seen Bruce and Dickie."
Jason's face twists in disgust. "Do not call my dad and brother hot."
"Okay, fine. I've seen you."
His brows rise. "What?"
"What, what?"
"Are you... callin' me..."
You snort. "Duh. Have you seen yourself? You've always been cute, Jason. If you didn't have the demeanor of a honey badger, you'd be fending off marriage proposals left and right from the Gotham public. You've always been the prettier one of us, Jay-Jay."
Jason's quiet. You keep going.
"Anyway, neon's never been my color, and it seems like that's a pretty immovable requirement these days. Like, I get Clark's trying to be seen from space but he doesn't get bloated. And the Spandex? Goodness gracious—"
"Y'really see yourself like that?"
Jason's staring at you with a wrinkled brow, mouth set.
"Like what?"
"Like you're not pretty? Like I'm too good for ya?"
You prop your head up on your arm. "You've always been too good for me, Jason Todd."
"That's just not true. And you're fuckin' beautiful, so stop sayin' that shit."
You blink. "Jay, c'mon—"
"No. It's true, so stop. You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure to know, and if anybody's gettin' proposed to, it's you."
"Jason." Your face is on fire. Why did you open your mouth? "Stop. It's fine. So I'm different; my body's changed and shit. I'm not an athletic vigilante anymore. My thighs have, like, their own zip code. It's my own fault. I didn't keep up the training and whaa—!"
In one fluid motion, Jason's rolled you onto him. Your legs straddle his waist. You catch yourself on his shoulders, then begin to scramble off, burning with embarrassment.
"Sorry, I'm heavy, you're injured—" you babble, picking up your leg.
"Will you quit?" Jason keeps your leg exactly where it is, tenderly stroking your ankle with his thumb. "Actin' like I'm made of whipped cream."
"You're concussed."
"Mildly."
"Stop, Jason. Please. You don't have to do this to-to prove a point. I get it, I won't talk bad about myself."
Bit hypocritical, considering some of the stuff you know for a fact Jason believes about himself.
But this is humiliating, your extremely attractive, crime-fighting best friend pretending that you haven't totally let yourself go all to bolster your ego.
"Nah, I don't think you get it," Jason says conversationally. His hand creeps under your shirt. You squirm. "I really, really don't think you get how fuckin' gone I am for ya."
"Huh?"
"Oh, yeah. Now, that's my fault, never sayin' anything. I was being cowardly. So lemme make it clear for ya, sweetheart."
His hand leaves your ankle and pulls your face to his. And then Jason kisses you.
"You're concussed," you whimper against his mouth. "Jason, you're—"
Jason laughs, low and sweet. He strokes the side of your face. "I could have amnesia and I wouldn't forget the fact that I've been in love with my best friend since I was fourteen."
"Are you sure you don't want me to move? I can—"
"No way. Y'know how long I've wanted you on me? Shit, I sound like a creep, thinking 'bout you like that, but—"
Jason rolls you both onto your sides. He hefts your leg over his, so you're slotted between each other. Then he kisses your neck, mouth hot and desperate. You gasp, belly swooping.
How long have you wanted this? How long did you believe you'd never feel this way about another person after Jason?
"I can promise you," Jason says, breathing hard against your skin. "You're a knockout. You knock me out. And I'll knock out anyone who says otherwise."
You huff and get a little braver, kissing Jason and returning him onto his back. He grins, sharp and hungry. He wants you. There's no doubt.
"I still think you're concussed," you murmur, letting him feel up your shirt. "But lucky for you, I have the utmost sympathy for poor, bedridden bats."
Jason hums, grunting when your teeth scrape his ear. "Oh, I've always known I was the lucky one, having you."
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd x plus size reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n#jason todd x gender neutral reader#jason todd x yn#jason todd fanfiction#dc fanfic#batman fanfiction#jason todd imagine#inbox#blurb
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“You… you’re so fucking beautiful.” His voice sounded so close that your eyes flew open to find him crouching in front of you.
ft. Hawks centered, Hawks x reader, Slight! Bakugo x reader, Slight! Dabi x reader.
Hawks x UA Student! Reader (Part 4)
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Warning tag: obsessed! Hawks, possessive! Hawks, naive! student reader, violation of trust, dubious consent, mating cycles, rut response, obsessive behavior, uncontrollable thirst for reader, manipulation, forced, thigh riding, hormonal minds out of control, sexual content, first time, cock riding, teenage fuck, Dabi's toxically interested in you, Bakugo bestie yet secretly inlove wit you, love confessions, cock-drunk, Hawks trying to be good but failing miserably, gaslighting, HEAVY plot, lots of smut.
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You could feel his hand insistently yanking you towards him. He was about to lose control again but kept fighting back. The hero didn’t want to choke you on his cock, but you were taking your sweet time and that made him a dangerous, and highly impatient, lover.
“—Don’t make me shove it down your throat, kid.”
He half begged, half demanded in a breathy voice, subtly smearing the reddened tip against your close lips, eyes shutting tight while he refrained himself from slap you across the face with it. He could clearly see the uncertainty in your young face, surely you had already blown someone, but not an adult, not a full-grown cock, wide and meaty, curved just a little for your greatest pleasure. Hawks was frighteningly large and thick for an inexperienced teenager.
His head fell back as he bit his lip, hard, taking several deep breaths, as if trying to suck it up like a pro instead of letting his rut have a smashing win.
“Don’t be scared—” He pleaded. “Just-just… this will work…,” his hips thrusted, kneading his erection against the warm skin of your cheek, heavy balls kissing your lips at the suddenness of the motion. “Fuck—it hurts.”
Hawks was really making and effort to let you take the lead. Shutting your eyes for a moment, your mind went back to when you blew one of your classmates after a training session, both so excited that it was inevitable, he returned the favor a few days later, it was the first time someone eat you and it became your dirtiest little secret, then why, why was it taking you so much to open your mouth for Hawks.
“You… you’re so fucking beautiful.” His voice sounded so close that your eyes flew open to find him crouching in front of you.
His pupils blown wide as he stared into your eyes, warm breath fanning your face. He even smelled nice- like mint and honey... and so devastatingly handsome, it hurt.
You opened your mouth to apologize, but it was immediately covered by his lips. Ferocity was the trademark of this kiss, the blond bit, licked, sucked and ravaged your mouth like you’d never experienced before. Leaving you openly heaving.
The soft, endearing look on his face, gently screamed to you that the man facing you wasn’t the hero anymore.
“Mate.” Keigo branded you in a deep voice, inoffensively rubbing against you like a cat in heat, the kindness that dripped from his tone could have bring any woman to his knees, yet it only sent shivers down yours. “My, sweet elusive mate.”
“M-mate?” you repeated, swallowing the lump in your throat, due to the implications of the word.
“Say it.” His blown pupils shone dangerously like sharp obsidian, and he waited with bated breath.
“Mat—”
“No.” Hawks cut you off, “say my name,” his stare so firmly set on you, it scared you. “Keigo...” he shared calmly, yet didn’t look it, “My name is Takami Keigo.”
The revelation cracked your serenity… did Hawks just blown his secret identity?? What the fuck?! According to Aizawa sensei, that kind of information was extremely sensitive, only shared with close family, a few privileged friends and… and mates for life.
Fear contorted your features at the realization, this couldn’t be happening… how did your quirk twisted his mind so extremely? This was a nightmare, was the blowjob still an option, or—
“Don’t… please, please—… stop crying, I will take care of you…” You hadn’t even realized you were crying until he began to clean the tears with soft kisses, forehead pressing against yours to try to convince you. “I swear. I won't hurt you, you’ll be so, soooo precious to me, my wife—my mate!”
His lips trailed over your face, like sealing his promises against your skin… cheeks, jaw, forehead, eyelids, and even up your earlobes. Hawks scented you whole, you could hear his ragged breathing, loud and conflicted, almost animalistic.
And that was when you felt it, his feathers wrapping around your wrists and ankles like shackles clinging to your skin.
“Hawks—Hawks, please…” you sniffled the words, “… I can still blow you—”
The tips of his fingers prevented you from keep talking, and he only shook his head, standing up.
Dammit! The only thing you had blown was your chance to walk out of there with your virginity intact. You were so screwed, all options closing in front of your eyes, watching him in horror, slip out of his jacket along with his shirt, discarded on the floor next your hope.
“Take off your panties and shirt—” he indicated, cheeks blazing with heat, a few drops of sweat sliding down the side of his face and half-lidded eyes, panting like he was not getting enough oxygen into his lungs, “your bra too, I want to see your tits bouncing while I breed you—” instead of start stripping you sobbed, and he growled, knuckles white at how hard he was tightening his fists.
“—You can keep the skirt…” he conceded, as if he were being remarkably gracious by allowing it.
“You are a Pro Hero, you can´t—”
“MINE.” He growled lowly, crouching again, seizing you like a wild cat until you were against the wall, made you fall on your ass and then, in almost studied moves, straddled you over his wide thighs, knitting your legs at each side of his lap, sprawling you wide for him, your little fighting hands were no match for his strength and dexterity, every time you unplugged one of his hands away, the other replaced it, getting so close that it was impossible for you to see anything but him and once having you in the optimal position, held you there for a minute to admire you, mesmerizing you with his awfully sharp predatory gaze to distract you from his slippery hands ripping your panties away. It was only when you felt the cold air that you found your struggle again. “.... Knock it off already, kid...”
He sounded heartbreakingly conformist, as if he had given up trying to stop himself, as if he didn't care about your opinion on the matter, but you kept fighting, begging, sobbing.
"Hawks...you have-e to control your-yourself, don't give up...” you stuttered the words to the best of your ability, “I swear—I'm not going to tell anyone about this.”
The sardonic chuckle along with his head tilting to the side and his eyebrows rising incredulously to his hairline, almost made him look like the real victim in the situation.
“First you force me into an early rut—and now you blame it on me?!” The disbelieve in his tone was palpable, he looked almost offended, and you looked away, embarrassed by the reality you had chosen to forget.
“Look at me, kid.” He demanded, but you refused to acknowledge him, pushing him to grip your chin and force you to face him, even if you tightened your eyes, the tears slipped out, but he was beyond that. All his mercy and patience eaten away by his roaring instinct, cornered between his hormonal brain and his unconcluded rut, you OWED him.
He was done playing the wooing game, you had it coming, you had your chance to tame him, but you didn’t use it, now the outcome was far from being his fault, he just couldn’t care anymore, now he was hunting for sweet and fulfilling, release.
“Open your fucking eyes...”
He didn’t scream, he didn’t even raise his voice, even so, the firmness of it, commanding and inflexible, edged you to obey.
“Stop FUCKING fighting me.” His grip grew tighter on your chin when your lips pouted, yet his eyes seemed void of tolerance, “If you could just behave yourself like the fucking hero you are aiming to be...” he pinched your UA uniform skirt to emphasize his point, “this would be so much better for you—for the both of US,” he let go, once felt had your entire attention, “......—but you just have to be a little brat, don’t cha?” he snarled the words, gaze narrowing while trying to countervail his elaborated breathing.
His hard stare was too heavy on you, too charged with feelings you couldn’t deal with. Guilt, anger, frustration, lust, resentment.... shame, all mixed and ready to burst, in the less than fulfilling, angry sex you were cooking for yourself.
So, you strive to understand and listen to him, because actually, Hawks was right. You were aiming to be a hero, you had screwed thing up to this level, you needed to step up and behave accordingly. This blast of self-awareness driving you to finally speak.
“You´re right...” you squeaked out, raspy and weak, throat sour from crying. “...What-what do I have to—”
“Just stop fighting me.” Hawks cut you off, burdensomely. Didn’t seem touched or even proud of you taking on your responsibility, all he seemed was desperate and hungry for you to stop unlatching his hands off you. And you did, granting him a free pass to maneuver you at his liking.
“Good girl.” He hummed, less frustrated and without asking lifted your skirt up your thighs, “here we go,” leaning, planted a velvety kiss on your neck as your reward for behave, and without delay traced your cunt with his thumb, the sensation shook your core, making knots inside your tummy, driving a low whine from your throat while his thumb made itself at home over the bundle of nerves.
“Hawks—”
“Keigo.” He corrected, absentmindedly, “Takami Keigo—…. or love, baby, darling, sweetheart, mate… there’s a wide variety for you to choose…” he said, as if nothing wrong, as if his thumb weren’t keeping its steady pace on your clit. Driving you to the edge in demanding, circled motions, not too slow not too fast, he didn’t want to deal with overstimulation too soon in the race. The experienced Hero was aiming to make you slippery as possible for it not to hurt as much as it will.
But you weren't helping his self-control, how Keigo loved that you were like a broken songbird, stuttering a load of broken and unconcluded moans, without a doubt a clean slate, his little virgin, his to trash and soil to his liking. So, he grew confident enough to worm two long fingers inside your slit to aid his quest, bending them against your stomach found that spongey place inside every female that made her see stars, and without a single care, abused the spot until you were squirming and wailing under his masterful administration.
“You can do it, sweet one, c’mon.” He groaned, picking up the pace of his fingers, jabbing into that spot at an unholy speed. Fucked his carefulness not to drive you to the ugly side of overstimulation, he was losing it. You were HIS mate, you´ll need to learn how to please him. “It feels good.... like I promised baby, c’mon.” He was practically licking his lips in anticipation when you cried out, unable to stop yourself when your core tightened and you came, HARD—so fucking hard that you even squirted, for the first time ever, a long spurt of pleasure that washed all over his abdomen, shining his abs in your love juices.
“I´m so... so-sorry...” You heaved, totally out of breath and strength, feeling strangely exhausted, too ashamed to even look him in the eye. “I didn´t know—I have never....”
“I’ll bet.” Hawks said, smirking wildly, perverted pride marring his words.
The eager Hero was about to lose it, overly agitated over your little squirting fount, you basically ticked all the requirements in his dream woman, you were definitely his person, and that thought excited him to no end.
Keigo smeared his palm over his slick abdomen, and palmed his length, coating his stiff cock on your juices, pumped himself in long and lazy strokes, you couldn't see it thanks to your palms covering your face, but you had his utter and most committed admiration solely on you, he had decided it in that exact moment, no doubt about it in his mind... he was going to knock you up, and keep you for himself.
“You on birth control?” He called, right as he started to align with your entrance, bulling your narrow slit with the head of his cock.
“N-no,” you choked out, drawing a boisterous chuckle out of him.
“Goody, goody.” He sing-sang, shit eating grin almost cracking his face in two. “I wanna be a daddy,” said, slipping a finger inside of you, then adding a second to seize how stretched you were. “It´ll have to do.” He muttered under his breath and pinching your clit to draw you out of your sheepishness, locked his gaze with yours while outstandingly slow, began to split you open.
You jolted at the sudden invasion, eyes popping open from shock alone. “W-wait...... let me-let me think it through.... I-I don´t.....AHHHHHH—” you choked out a high-pitched scream at the feeling of your little cunt being slowly breached, it hurts! It hurt so bad that you desperately tried to push him out, but he was massively stronger than you, and had a solid grip to work with.
“Use your quirk to stop me....” he purred amused, resting both forearms in each side of your head against the wall, “—if you can, kid.”
Demurely, kept going, burying himself deeper, stretching you so wide that it felt like an entire forearm was stuffing you, you trashed and clawed at his chest, shoulders and neck to no avail, until without warning he sheathed completely in one swift roll of his hips, dragging a deaf cry out of you.
“That’s it~” he muttered too far gone into his own pleasure, you were so wet, preparing you first was more rewarding than he thought it´ll be, “Shit, fuck,” the winged hero held himself rooted deep inside you, heavy balls plush against your center, tears were falling freely now but it didn’t seem to faze him at all, “That’s it—dammit! That´s what I was fucking talking about.” You were vaguely aware of Hawks swearing like a prayer, doing the extra mile to stay very still for you to be able to accommodate around him. Panting heavily against your hair as you foolishly tried to wiggle away, only driving a low, pleasurable rumble from his broad chest.
“Oh, poor kid! that´s the best you can do, huh?” He almost sounded apologetic, edging in sarcastic but it didn’t stop him from leaning closer, you could feel a feather slice your bra, and you whimpered when one of his hands wrapped around your naked breast and squeezed.
“You have a good pair of tits on you, my little stutterer.” The Hero praised, and you felt overly violated.
No! you didn't want to keep going, you were afraid, and he wasn’t even gentle. You felt him twitch inside you, the tip of his cock against your cervix just waiting for his owner to give the command, and you tried one last, pitiful time.
“Ple-please.... Hawks, please-e, let me …... let-let me go-o.....” You begged between broken sobs.
“You stutter so prettily — it fucking breaks my heart to have to do THIS.”
COMING SOON PART 5....
⭕️ In this PATREON LINK you will find NSFW art of this story and more spicy MHA NSFW art and exclusive smut fanfiction (also JJK, Demon slayer, and Tokyo Revengers) .... Plus more fascinating rewards, check it out and if you got some extra bucks around, join our community. My eternal and vast gratitude for your support!!!
#hawks imagines#hawks x reader#bnha x reader#hawks smut#hawks#keigo takami x reader#keigo x reader#mha x reader#my hero academia#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#bnha fic#bnha fluff#keigo takami#hawks bnha#oc#reader insert#hawks x you#hawks x oc#keigo x you#keigo x y/n#hawks x y/n#keigo fluff#hawks fluff#yandere x reader#yandere hawks#obsessive love#mating#mating cycles/in heat
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I'll admit I love the dadification of Tim by bruce, but I also love tim being much more of a perfectionist and being more efficient than Bruce.
And Bruce would say he loves it- but like. He now sees the problem with working with himself.
__________
A mission goes completely sideways, and it wasn't as if it was the first time it happened. In fact, in the end, they still fulfilled their objectives... just... not in the way they were supposed to do.
"...are you mad at me?" Bruce asks, fingers holding on to the bat-steering wheel so hard he could swear they were white under his black glove.
If he was with Jason or Dick, he'd know his answer. 'No, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed' because it was a gentle answer. It was the right answer. He was a father, a trying one, at least. He could be gentle. He could be nice.
Tim, however, could not.
"What do you *think*, genius?"
Bruce flinches. It's been a while since he felt the familiar signs of tears in his eyes. He forces himself not to cry. He was a *grown man*, he refused to feel shamed by a 15 year old's scolding - a rough glove strokes at the wetness on his cheek.
Tim sighs. "Bruce, cmon. Don't cry. I promise I'm not mad at you, okay? I just-- I got in a bad mood and it was wrong of me to take it out on you. I'm sorry, okay? You did great, Bruce!" Tim smiles at him.
Bruce hears himself sniffle. *God*. He can't believe he's crying. Tim's eyes widen in a panic. "Hey, hey, cmon! No more tears, big guy! I'll ask Alfred to whip up some of your favorites, how about it? And if he can't do it then we can always just order out, right? What do you want, Bruce?" Tim hits the autodrive and wraps his arms around him.
He cannot believe he's crying in a teenager's arms right now.
"We'll be home in a bit, and you did a great job, I promise. I'm not mad at you, in fact! I'm proud!" Something feels lighter in Bruce's chest. He squishes it down.
Tim takes off Bruce's cowl and strokes his hair. "Repeat after me, I did good. Say it Bruce."
"...I did good." Bruce grumbles, leaning into Tim's touch.
Tim smiles at him teasingly. "Didn't hear you, B. Say it louder."
Bruce frowns. "I did good." He says firmly.
"Good job, B!" Tim laughs.
The batmobile slows to a stop in the cave. "Oh look, we're home." Tim remarks casually, as if he didn't have an armful of a teary grown-up. "Let's go, Bruce. You go wash up while I update the logs."
Bruce nods.
Tim walks off to the computer, and for the first time in a long while, Bruce feels small and happy again.
Fuck. I love how this highlights that Tim wouldn't be a perfect father, especially considering some of his "bad" habits or behaviors. He'd try and he'd correct, but, like all parents, he's bound to mess up every once in awhile. It happens. The best part is that Tim corrects his behavior, admits fault, and tries to make up for it.
Good parenting, Tim! (genuine)
We could add on that Tim is a teenager. Emotions are heightened because puberty is a fucking asshole. So, he may occasionally take his frustrations out on Bruce (in this AU). He may suddenly burst into tears, worrying Bruce, or feel the intense need to scream.
He's not gonna be the best fantastic dad (especially since he really shouldn't be parenting an adult as he's a teen), but he's gonna try.
It'd also be cool to see Tim, in learning to gentle parent, eventually gentle parenting himself and teaching Bruce to utilize the same methods with his kids (also, I can go on a full fucking rant on how it shouldn't be named "gentle parenting" cause it's really "paying forward parenting," but I'm not gonna).
Anyways, the scene you wrote was really sweet and I very much enjoyed it
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Guys have I ever commented about how both Youtube and Tiktok have the shittiest takes on Stolas? No? Then I will try to comment more often.
"I wonder why Octavia is mean to Stolas" because she's a teenager who doesn't know the truth about her parents' situation or the abuse her father went throught during 17+ years, that's why.
As Stolas antis are unable to recognize the MOST BASIC aspects of the story, let me just remind everything we know about Stolas and his relationship with his family:
(TW: MARITAL RAPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HAVING TO EDUCATE STOLAS ANTIS FOR THE 100TH TIME)
1- emotionally and physically abused by his father
2- forced to marry an abusive person when he was a fucking child
3- raped multiple times by Stella before she got pregnant
4- TEEN FATHER. TEEN. FATHER. You know what a TEEN FATHER means? He was forced to be a father when he. was. A. TEEN.
5- spent 17 years surviving his wife's verbal, emotional and physical abuse FOR HIS DAUGTHER'S SAKE
6- took accountability when he realized his mistakes towards his daughter, and his mistakes were basically trying his best to make his daughter happy while being a literal survivor of parental abuse, domestic violence, SA and social isolation, literally a fucking normal human being trying his best and improving himself
7- is not only teaching her spells slowly and respecting her time, but also raising her as the teenager girl she is, and not as a 'legal adult' full of rich folk bullshit responsabilities as he was raised
"Stolas is a good dad" yes, media illiterate antis, he IS. He raised his daughter with love and care, he shield her from potential dangers (which came from her own mother), took accountability everytime he made a mistake with her, and sacrificed 17+ years in silence, surviving domestic violence, FOR HER. This is what a good parent does; loves, takes accountability and cares for their child, and as someone who has a very shitty dad who actually doesn't respect me or take accountability, I proudly affirm Stolas is doing great. You know what STELLA, an actual terrible parent, does? Abuses her husband in front of their kid and turns Via against her father. This is what a terrible parent does, oh but sorry I forgot she's the cisheteronormative woman who can do no wrong despite doing everything wrong maliciously.
Octavia acting like a teenager is absolutely in-character and justified. She doesn't have to know that her mother is an abuser, and this is why Stolas shield her from this hell, because he wanted her to have a normal fucking life. But the AUDIENCE? Grown adults who KNOW what is happening with Stolas and should understand how basic parenting works, acting like an angry teenager who hates Dada? Now that is just bad faith and urge to justify your hate boner against Stolas with the same stupid outdated arguments that were discussed a thousand times in this fandom.
For a man that was forced to have an abusive wife and a child at his teenage years, yes, he is a good father. He makes normal mistakes like any normal parent does. In LooLoo Land, he (unintentionally) ignored Via's discomfort because he was trying to cheer her up, trying to, as himself said, keep her away from their hostile house — whose hostility is Stella's fault. In Seeing Stars, he DOES NOT ignore Via nor forgot about the promise (he forgot the day, not the promise), he was busy standing up against his ABUSER. He asked for some minutes to finish his phone call, if Via had waited just a little bit longer, he would turn off the phone and listened to her. She didn't, because she's a kid with the trauma of growing up with an abusive mother and a closeted dad, again, in-character and understanding. But grown adults who were supposed to understand what is going on with Stolas having the same behaviour of a kid is hilariously telling a lot about how you react to this show.
Stolas makes the same mistakes Blitzø makes with Loona. Blitzø often infantilizes her to the point of being overprotective, and guess what? He also took accountability, because he, just like Stolas, is a good dad. And just like Lucifer as well. Buuuuut you don't really care about what is or what isnt a good father, you just want to yell about how much you hate Stolas. And the reason why you hate Stolas (at least one of the reasons) is because you can't understand basic shit about him.
Edit: by the way, let me show yall this print. It's so adorable. As irritating as Stolas's "sLaNdErInG" crowd is, the fandom always manage to make everything better. Let's smile more and think about the good things <3
#'stolas slander'? more like media literacy slander#stolas#helluva boss#tw: stolas antis (again)#octavia helluva boss
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as someone who is much too old to be enjoying classes with a bunch of teenagers, the thought of being summoned by the carriage as a full grown "i literally dropped out of college please don't give me grades or I'll cry" adult is such a funny idea. like, no ill definitely take that custodian job that you offered a child, Crowley. give me that full room and board. you're not too proud to live in a ramshackle house that comes with a free cat roommate. that sounds fantastic.
being actual nrc staff sounds like so much fun. these guys are quirky and weird but they're all so unique that you can't help but enjoy each of them. Crowley may be sort of useless but like, his heart(?) is kinda maybe in the right place. Crewel might gives you nervous hives because he's sooooo pretty and that thing he throws around makes your skin crawl but like... he's cool. Trein may appear to be a hardass (and he is) but unlike everyone ELSE on campus, he's genuinely not a bad guy. he's pretty nice for being an old man. he's got loving daughters and a cat and YOU have fake adoption papers. Vargas is. Vargas. you have to admire a man in his adult years that keeps up with his training. back in your world you were nothing more than a couch potato but look at you now. you can run a mile without collapsing in a puddle of sweat. he means well when he forces you to eat eggs with him. and then there's Sam. man what a cool dude. you're the first one he comes to when he needs a helping hand and he pays you so well for what little you do. he's a real brother in arms in this capitalistic society. easy on the eyes too.
but anyways!! these kids need actually good direct adult influences which you could totalllyy provide. you know those sitcoms with the words of wisdom from that weird guy that's on the other side of the fence? yeah that sounds like fun. you could totally pull that off. 1
you need money cause Crowley forget your paycheck? hey, azul. adults have different labor laws so that means you can work past 10 during the week days AND can operate a ladder and box cutter. you wanna hire us sooooo bad it makes azul look stupid.
also lilia gets another cooky adult to hang out. it's a win, win. let's raise a pet rock together or something. give silver a brother.
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Forgot to say this too :
Alright, listen up, you judgmental assholes. I see y’all out here screaming about how "wrong" and "creepy" it is for someone to age themselves down in their DR to hook up with someone or relive some youthful romance. Meanwhile, you’re out here aging yourself up for the same exact reason, but somehow, in your twisted logic, that’s perfectly fine? Bitch, be fucking for real.
Let’s cut the bullshit: If aging yourself down to date or fuck is wrong, then guess what? Aging yourself up for the same reason is just as fucking wrong. There’s no moral high ground to be found here. You can’t call someone out for shifting into a younger version of themselves while you’re over there shifting into some older fantasy version of yourself just to live out some “mature, powerful lover” scenario. It’s the same game, just flipped.
Now let’s get to the real MVPs of hypocrisy: teenage shifters. You’ve got a real special brand of double standards, don’t you? Y’all will shift to a DR where you’re suddenly married with kids, living that adult fantasy life like you're some grown-up with a mortgage and responsibilities. Then the next day, you’re back in a high school DR, flirting with your 15-year-old sweetheart like it’s nothing. And yet, these are the same people who have the audacity to label adult shifters “creepy” for shifting down to experience young love or redo some teenage memories they missed out on. How the fuck do you not see the hypocrisy?
You can’t have it both ways. You defend your shifts by saying, “Oh, teens are also horny too so it is okay for me to script sexual stuff.” But then, as soon as an adult mentions wanting to relive a younger stage of life, you’re all up in arms, crying “predator!” Girl, sit down. You’re doing the same damn thing, just in reverse. You can’t pretend your shit is squeaky clean when you’re basically flipping the script to suit your fantasy.
And here’s where it gets real funny: y’all love to age yourselves up to live that mature, adult life, but when you come back to being 15 or 16 in your DR, suddenly you wanna cry about how your "maturity" is affected? Please. You’re switching between being a married 30-year-old in one DR to being a high school junior the next, but it’s the adults you want to come after? Y’all really gotta wake the fuck up.
Then, oh the fucking nerve, teenage shifters will sit there and script full-on adult relationships with older partners in one DR, then hop back to being a teenager dating another teen in the next DR. And y’all don’t see the contradiction? How’s it okay for you to be all up in adult business in one DR, but when an adult shifts down to experience young love, you wanna call them out? Make it make sense, because it sure as hell doesn’t.
Oh, and let’s not forget the real kicker: The pressure y’all feel to cram in all these shifts before you hit 18 in your OR, like once you become an “official adult,” those fantasies will suddenly be seen as creepy. So, there’s this mad rush to get all your DR desires in before adulthood hits, like you’ve got some moral deadline. Really? You’re creating a ticking time bomb for yourself, thinking everything's okay now, but if you did the same shifts in two years, you’d call yourself out? How is that not completely fucked up logic?
And let me not forget how some of you teenage shifters treat shifting like cosplay. You’re out here playing dress-up in your DRs, accusing adults of being creepy, and yet you’re scripting yourselves into stripper DRs or pornstar fantasies, acting like that’s somehow less weird. Bitch, please. You’re over here aging yourselves up to hook up with adults, or worse, aging down your adult love interests to match your age, and you still have the nerve to point fingers at others? That’s some next-level mental gymnastics right there. Y’all are doing cartwheels with your logic, and it’s honestly embarrassing.
Here’s a real mind-fuck for you: A 15-year-old shifts into a DR, lives there for 40 years, then comes back to their OR and dates someone who’s still 15. By your own logic, they’re now some kind of “predator” because they’ve lived for 55 years, right? But flip it around, if they shift back to being 15 and date a 55-year-old who’s aged up in their DR, suddenly that’s a problem? Where is the consistency here? You’re out here with a ruler trying to measure everyone else’s moral standing while standing in a pile of your own bullshit.
It’s like trying to apply chess rules to poker—you can’t just make up the rules as you go along to justify your own shifting decisions while dragging others. Every reality is different, every context is different, and trying to slap your one-size-fits-all judgment on someone else’s shift just makes you look like a clown. Shifting is nuanced, it’s complex, and y’all really need to stop pretending you’ve got some moral blueprint for everyone else to follow when you can’t even keep your own shifting ethics straight.
Bottom line: If you’re out here aging yourself up for the same shit you criticize adults for when they age down, you’re a hypocrite. Period. Either admit that both are fine, or recognize that both have the potential to be problematic. But you can’t keep pretending that aging up for some weird-ass fantasy suddenly makes it all okay. If you’re out here policing other people’s shifts while turning a blind eye to your own ? you're full of shit.
You don't get to rewrite the rules just to fit your narrative and then sit there acting like you're the moral compass of the shifting community. If you’re out here saying that aging down for a fantasy is creepy but think aging up for the same purpose is perfectly fine, you’re not only delusional, you’re a straight-up hypocrite.
And let’s get real: the double standard isn’t just ridiculous, it’s fucking exhausting. If you’re playing the same game, whether you’re aging down or up, it’s still the same manipulation of age for personal gratification. The moral high ground you think you’re standing on? That shit doesn’t exist.
So here’s your wake-up call: Stop preaching about what’s “right” or “wrong” when you’re shifting if you can’t apply the same scrutiny to yourself. You either gotta accept that shifting age—whether up or down—comes with some ethical complexity, or you need to shut the hell up and sit down. Because if you can’t see how aging up to fulfill your fantasies is just as questionable as aging down, then you’re not as woke as you think you are.
So next time you wanna criticize someone for how they shift, take a long, hard look at your own DRs and ask yourself: Am I being a hypocrite? If the answer’s yes, then maybe it’s time to step off your high horse, own your shit, and recognize that you’re not above anyone else. Either own it across the board, or get off the fucking ride and let everyone shift how they want to. Stop acting like one version of age-changing is somehow more acceptable than the other.
#reality shifting#shiftblr#desired reality#shifting#shifting community#shifters#shifting realities#reality shift#reality shifter#shifting antis dni#shifter#shifting blog#shifting reality#shift#quantum jumping#shifting motivation#shifting consciousness#shifting memes
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"the lazarus pit caused his bullshit" "no he was just a completely unhinged psychopath" guys.
GUYS.
every single one of you is ignoring the part where he was kept in a literal cult for anywhere from what, one to three-ish years? do you know how cults work. do you know how they slowly, carefully change your thought patterns to suck you in, even when you know good and damned well it's a cult? do you know what kind of targets they select, the kind of people they prey on? (hint! isolated teens are pretty common prey! especially if they're injured, salty af at the world, and feel like they owe the cult member/s something. like their mind back after being cared for while in that condition, for example)
do you know how much they MINDFUCK YOU ON PURPOSE. hard enough to make dozens to hundreds of people commit mass suicide. hard enough to get VOLUNTARY sex slaves and trafficking victims. hard enough to completely normalize prepubescent kids being married to grown ass adults 30 and up. hard enough that intentionally recruited cult members will recruit people without even realizing that's what's happening. literally after a while all the leader/s have to do is ProfitTM
the league has normalized everything from carefully calculated murder to literal child assassins (to the degree of CASS ffs) to worldwide political meddling (mostly via murder!) to everyone just. being completely chill about this old-ass immortal fuck having/keeping a whole ass grandson for the SOLE PURPOSE of bodyjacking him and then having consistent beef with a literal teenager
do... do any of you know how cult deprogramming works. do you know how long it takes WITH extensive help and support, even with the least fucked up ones that just give you a new spin on a religion and lifestyle so the leader/s can jack your money.
are we really just going to keep ignoring all of this instead of utilizing the more reasonable reasoning (applies with or without long-term pit effects!) to it's full potential
I know they'll never touch it in canon bc DC is lame about actually addressing any sort of interesting new applications of anything for a lot of the more jacked up shit that would provide fun story lines and actual resolution in favor of just never mentioning it again upon pain of death, but not ever having seen this take even once in a discussion or fic makes me sad :(
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Adult (20+) MC finally figures out how to properly make money, BESIDES working for Azul. Become not only the prefect and be a student, but an on the call designated therapist!
"Crowley, really. I'm far older than the other students, it is not my fault the mirror has brought you a full grown adult rather than another proper student! I finished all of my schooling where I am from, I do not wish to repeat it along side these....kids!" You had complained to him. Well, what was he to do? The mirror had obviously chosen you to be at that school, you had no other merits at the time to offer him, and to simply put it...without a way to go home, what else could possibly occupy your time in a world in which you know nothing about, than gather intel by throwing yourself into the most prestigious of schools? The answer seemed obvious at the time, until you realized just how bad it was.
Teenagers are still teenagers, after all. Especially a bunch of teenage boys surrounded by...well... Other teenage boys. Magic or not, they were still going through any other mental struggles as any normal human. However, putting magic into the mix had surely caused you some...extra unprecedented grief you had never needed to worry about in your world. After what, three? Four? Overblots and life endagerment exibitions, you had an epiphany. With extensive knowledge of the human brain system, life experience, and a plothera of coping mechanisms under your belt, what better way to open the door than to become none other than the designated student body therapist?
With some rather convincing techniques, you had managed to convince Crowley to, as you put it...
"Let me take this off of your plate! You are so busy being such an amazing head master running this school as perfectly as you are, I understand the durasic increase of overblots have your hands tied behind your back! As you know, I am an adult with ample experience in the field of mental health. Although I don't have the documents to prove it as much at this time seeing as they are back in my world....I just know you will not regret hiring me as a therapist."
A few more convincing lines (and perhaps a week of pestering, begging, manipulating-- I mean convincing , he had eventually hired you as the school therapist! With, of course, the expectation that you had to take an additional class to further certify you were able to properly do such a job. (You were kind of mad a bout that, seeing as you knew you were qualified, but hey. Pick and choose your battles I guess. At least you managed to get by with a couple additional classes, instead of a million years of schooling.)
You had a personal office in ramshackle, an empty dorm becoming suitable with your own personal desk, computer, book shelf, and another necessities. You had a location in the main building, the room connected to the nurses office had been refurnished as your main office. Book shelves of self care, items for fiddling with, bean bags, posters with encouraging words, and a desk full of papers, along with other needed items graciously funded by the school (you threatened Crowley at one point, accusing him of not caring of his students.) Of course, being on call meant students may drop by the dorm at any given time for your aid and expertise, so the ramshackle dorm lounge was also redecorated suited for sessions that were a bit more casual.
But of course, you also managed to juggle your studies as a student, wanting to continue to learn about magic. Working on the call was nice, keeping your phone on and excusing yourself whenever official work called for you. Unless you rather not be a student, that is fine, too. Full time therapist work may be the job for you!
Helping students heal one tragic back story at a time seemed perfectly fitting. (You just wanted to finally get paid and recognized for what you were already doing.)
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland fanfic#twst fanfic#twst fanfiction#twst MC#twisted wonderland mc#yuu#twst yuu
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