#FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hey students everywhere, I'm proud of you. You are so much more than enough.

Hey my maggots who're stuck in the education system right now. This is a long post but... but I know how many of you need to hear this, so please do. I just want you to know...

I'm proud of you. I'm so, so proud of you.

For continuing to survive in a system that's so bullshit that it can fail you at art, give you a grade for composing music, decide your seat in a medical college based on multiple choice questions about obscure ecology statistics (that are probably outdated), and decide whether or not you should study literature based on your summary of a pre-approved book.

I'm so proud of you.

i see you, I know you're exhausted, you're losing the love for subjects that were once your passion but now are ruined, you're burnt out and scared, you're studying things you don't even care about.

I know there are some of you who feel guilty even taking the time to read these words. I know, because I was there.

I'm proud of you for every second you spend doing the things you love, for every second you've spent trying so hard, for every second you've spent resting, for every second you've spent doing ridiculous things that made you smile and laugh and cry, for every second you studied and every second that you didn't, for every second you've spent wasting time because hey the point is that you lived that time and that's amazing in itself.

It's a fucked up system. It's broken and deeply flawed on every level, from the administration to the teaching to the budget to the students' mentality to the politics to the inclusivity... it's all fucked.

The more you recognise that, the closer you'll get to maybe realising that truth. That your talent and love for a subject, for an art form, for a branch of science or mathematics or a language, cannot possibly be measured in fucking numbers or alphabets from A to F.

The very idea is ridiculous, yet here we are, believing it.

Let's not anymore. It'll take a while to push it out of our head. But we can do it.

Yeah?

Tell yourself, and the people you know who are at any stage of education right now, all of this. It's not your fault. You're doing so well. I'm proud of you. So much of this is out of your control, with factors that shouldn't matter affecting your grade, with things happening that you can't help. So I'm proud of you. For being you and living. I'm sorry if you don't hear it enough, because you should.

I'm so, so proud of you.

[frat-house-collective]

Autism and Potential

Hi it's me, your local sleep-deprived in-a-slump writer here to ramble about autism and feeling like you're not living up to your full potential.

Idk about any other autistic people but I feel like I'm never reaching everything that I could be, that I have the potential to be, that I could and should be doing more. Fundamentally flawed. Or something.

And yes, I know "no one's perfect" but the bar feels like it's set so high, and it's impossible to reach it. Constant guilt, constant anxiety, constant impostor syndrome, slipping grades and executive dysfunction that I can't help.

Overthinking everything, spiralling and unable to get out of it, stuck doomscrolling on instagram or tumblr or twitter or tiktok, unable to make yourself get up and start the task.

I'm either "lazy" (psychically can't make myself do the task) or a "gifted kid" (overworked and burnt out).

Procrastination or perfectionism. Right and perfect or completely wrong. Brilliant with perfect grades or failing.

Pick your poison.

BUT

I think I'm going to give myself permission to be average. Mediocre. I try, I do my best each day, and that level of "best" varies, so to some it may look lazy, or unstable, but, at least for me, it's what works.

My aim this year and next is to pass. I honestly, genuinely do not care what score I get, my aim is to get through school and graduate at the end of it. It will not kill me.

Fuck the education system. It wasn't made for any of us.

Alright, I'm gonna cap off this post here and go to bed before I get too off topic and start rambling about the education system and the government. I'm just stressed and exhausted and not even halfway through Term 2.

But I hope this is...at least coherent, I'm very tired...and maybe resonates with someone, or a few someones out there.

We aren't alone, I promise.

Thank you and goodnight.

[fallen-honor]

The best part about listening to metal in class is the teacher is yapping about how to graph a parabola while I'm just there zoned out listening to THE KOMBUCHA MUSHROOM PEOPLE, SITTING AROUND ALL DAY, WHO CAN BELIEVE YOU, WHO CAN BELIEVE YOU, LET YOUR MOTHER PRAY (shugaa)

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

"gEt a CaReEr" bitch my career is the ground get out of my sight.

[mussichetta]

i have a test in less than 12 hours about a book I haven’t read, but I just found an amazing enjoltaire fanfiction fuck me

[cryingwanker]

i actually despise my school. they do everything they can to make sure we all look the exact same. they do not allow us to express ourselves at all.

i have coloured shoelaces, and apparently that makes me stand out too much, so they made me change them. i wore badges on my blazer, and apparently that made me stand out too much, so they made me take them off.

the schools will do absolutely anything to make children as miserable as they can, and make them all carbon copies of eachother.

they dont care.

[selectivechaos]

“a little bit of stress is good for you”.

does Not mean anxiety disorders are in any way good for you. saying this because all throuhhout school, especially before exams when the mentally ill kids were really fucking struggling, teachers would always recite this line.

they would always say that it is what gets you out of bed and helps you fight bears and exams (because all these things; saving your life and passing an exam, are equally important apparently). and they would say a Lot of stress is bad for you, and leave it at that.

but just like with pain scales, i have no fucking idea what a Lot of stress versus a Bit of stress looks like. anxiety disorders are disorders because they cause significant distress, imapirment, suffering, or difficulty. by definition it does Not help you. 🌹🌹

long post just to elaborate

there have been times when i thought that maybe didn’t want help. didn’t want treatment for anxiety because was scared it would make me in the way the teachers described: void of stress; careless and therefore fail exams, or not fight enough bears. thought ‘ i want to keep just a little bit of anxiety’. but that’s not how it fucking works.

when anxiety is a disorder, no part of it, no matter how small, is helpful or necessary to your functioning. it doesn’t keep you focused; it does the opposite. it doesn’t help you out of bed. it makes everything harder. takes all the fucking energy from you.

i fucking hate that schools use a line that taught me to value hypervigilance and anxiety.

yes, they were talking about the optimum level of stress and yes i just interpreted it wrong.

but this post is also about that culture where the ‘little bit can be a good thing’ is used to chip away at your health. had teachers tell me “you may have to sacrifice your sleep, and your rest time” (and they weren’t wrong; i did that shit. was forced to).

and they conflate the neglect of self care with Seriousness, determination, and focus.

🌹🌹🌹

[loveicarus13]

yk how children are always so curious, how they are filled with this amazing sense of wonder about the world. they are always like: oh wow! whats this? whats that?, and they wanna learn everything and see everything...

and then comes school, honestly i cant ever forgive the education system for what it does to these children, it crushes this sense of wonder and amazement and turns them into government job working 9 to 5 workers

i read this somewhere, abt a scientist who went to visit this school, and he went to the first grade first. he asked them to ask him ANYTHING they wanted to, and he was absolutely bombarded with questions. next he went to the senior most class, and he told them the same thing..... but here, he was met with absolute silence.

and later he mentions that there must hv been sth that was done in those years of schooling that changed all this

[chilli-talks-a-lot]

School Continues to Make my Blood Boil

When I was a little goody-two-shoes seven-year-old I was friends with a lot of the "bad" kids. Usually, they got in trouble for not being able to focus, or being too loud, or moving too much. Which is dumb (they probably just had adhd). And then, they were scrutinized and excluded, and labeled as "the bad kids" even though they were really nice. This just pushed them to be worse. To give in. I really wished there was something I could do, but I was 7.

I remember I was sent to go pick up one of my "bad" friends from a teacher's classroom because he wasn't allowed to go to recess. I stood in the doorway, trying to get his attention by saying his name, but the teacher (who still works there, years later) yelled at me for interrupting her class. Scared the shit out of little me. I didn't go back after that.

I remember seeing that same "bad" friend stab himself in the forehead with a participation medal he got from karate class.

I never really saw him after that. I would still hear his name get called on the intercom, but we never got to talk again. I wonder how he's doing now.

I've had a lot of friends who've had ADHD, and seeing them struggle makes me so angry. The school system has failed them.

I feel like, school, from a young age, has made us forget that people, even if they deviate from the normal, are still people. Witnessing this, in real time, has made me realize how bad schools are when it comes to reinforcing conformity and perpetuating ableism.

People at my school make jokes saying the r-slur or making fun of sped kids or saying things in a "sped voice" and hitting their chests all the time. Hell, even a teacher did that today. They don't deserve this.

[shrcker]

learning stuff on your own is better cause then nobody can arbitrarily mark your grade down for learning things the "wrong" way

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

THE TIME MY DOG WAS UNDER ACADEMIC PRESSURE.

GUESS WHO CHUGGED DOWN AN ENTIRE CAN OF (POMEGRENATE WINTER EDITION) RED BULL IN UNDER HALF AN HOUR? THIS GUY! IT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE CHERRY PISS SO MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER IT AND I JUST SORTA DOWNED IT.

I'M NOW RUNNING ON CAFFEINE AT A QUARTER TO 4 AM AND SPITE FOR THE EDUCATION SYSTEM.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING INSANE EVEN MY DOGGY SISTER, ROXIE (A LOT OF Y'ALL KNOW HER, SHE'S CURRENTLY SULKING FOR FOOD) ISN'T SAFE FROM THE ACADEMIC PRESSURE.

SO, AS MOST OF Y'ALL KNOW, I DROPPED OUT OF DESIGN SCHOOL IN NOVEMBER BECAUSE OF BULLYING ETC. SO THEN THERE I WAS, BACK HOME, TAKING ROXIE DOWN FOR A WALK.

AND I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT. SO WHILE WE WERE GETTING TO THE GATE, THIS PINT-SIZED LIL KID COMES UP TO US. FULL SCHOOL GET UP, BUTTON DOWN, BACKPACK, TIE, BELT, THE WORKS. THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN THIS MINIATURE VICTIM OF INDIAN EDUCATION AND A JOB IN IT AT INFOSYS IS TIME, LIKE THE GOOD OMENS BOOK SAID (KINDA).

IT'S AFTERNOON, SO CLEARLY HE'S BEEN DROPPED OFF AT THE GATE. BEAR IN MIND THIS GUY'S PROBABLY BARELY HIGHER THAN MY KNEE. AND YET I FEAR HIM. WHY? I DO NOT KNOW YET. BUT HE APPROACHES ROXIE AND GREETS HER.

THEN HE SAYS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL?

AH, FUCK, I THINK. HERE WE GO. THE APARTMENT NOSIES HAVE BEGUN TO WONDER WHY MY STUPID ASS IS BACK HOME. I SIGH AND SAY, WHO, ME? OUT OF INSTINCT.

AND THIS SHARE-PACK-LAYS-SIZED KID SAYS COOLLY, NO, ROXIE.

HAHA, I THINK, OKAY THAT'S FUNNY. SHE'S NOT, I SAY.

MINI-ENGINEER LOOKS AT ME, FILLED WITH POLITE CONFUSION. SHE DOESN'T GO TO SCHOOL?

I REALISE THIS KID MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SERIOUS. OKAY, CUTE. I REPLY, QUITE REASONABLY, THAT NO SHE DOESN'T.

HE NODS, UNDERSTANDING. SO SHE'S GOING TO START TODAY?

WHAT THE FUCK, I THINK BUT DON'T SAY.

AT THIS POINT, REALISING HE IS DEALING WITH SOMEONE OF INFERIOR INTELLECT TO HIM, THE MICROBE-AU OF STEVE JOBS EXPLAINS PATIENTLY TO ME:

THERE IS A DOG SCHOOL OPENED UP NEAR THE APARTMENT. HE IS GENUINELY CONCERNED FOR ROXIE'S EDUCATION. AND IF SHE HASN'T STARTED ALREADY, CLEARLY SHE MUST BE STARTING TODAY. OR SHE WILL BE BEHIND OTHER DOGS.

IT IS AT THIS POINT THAT I LAUGH AWKWARDLY, QUICKLY MUTTER TO ROXIE TO COME WITH ME IN FRENCH AND WE BOTH SKEDADDLE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

HELP THEY'RE TRYING TO GET THE DOGS INTO THE EDUCATION SYSTEM TOO IS NOTHING SACRED ROXIE MAY NOT FETCH BALLS BUT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH, TAMIL, TELUGU AND FRENCH, DOES MOST THINGS WITHOUT ANY TRAINING, CAN RECOGNISE MY MUM'S PHONE BUT NOT A STICK (IT'S FINE, SHE'S GEN ALPHA, IT HAPPENS) AND SHE WOULD ABSOLUTE ROT IN DOG SCHOOL.

BUT HOW WILL SHE MAKE IT IN THIS FAST PACED WORLD WITHOUT HER DOGGY DIPLOMA, HUH? HOW, MAGGOTS?

ONE REBLOG EQUALS ONE COLLEGE CREDIT FOR POOR ROXIE AND HER HOMESCHOOLING (THIS IS A JOKE DO NOT BLOW THIS POST UP I WILL REGRET IT SO MUCH DURING MY CAFFEINE CRASH DO NOT TOUCH THE REBLOG BUTTON)

[heulwenflower]

I loved poetry from a young age

I always used to get sparks to write

They didn't have to have a structure

They didn't have to have a 3 act structure

They were just authentic

Of course I got discouraged

"It doesn't make sense"

"Stop wasting paper"

"What are you trying to do"

In my teens it wasn't nurtured etheir

Fuck the gcse syllabus

I loved a majority

Hated a few

Primarily Hated how I was told what to think

I had to break apart things dyspraxia didn't see

All I saw was the beauty of negative emotion

How raw it felt

How these pepole could feel another's pain from a distance but capture it in the finest grain

Didn't give a fuck whether or not it was 15 lines or not

In adulthood I compared myself

To everyone of these perceptions of poetry

Until i challenged it

I write for emotion

Not for others

And certainly not for a system that destroyed my love

There are no rules for poetry

Let your heart write

Your head needs a break

[threecheersslxt]

School hasn’t even started yet and I’m already overwhelmed hahahahahahshshahahagsshhahashdhfhdnfnfndjgnfjfjdhfjdjfnfjfdjfjfuejfjh

[fallen-honor]

NOOO. WE GOT OUR ROOMS FOR STATE TESTING AND IM NOT WITH ANY OF MY FRIENDS!!!!!! KILL MEE!!! OH YEAH, ONE OF OUR HVAC&R TEACHERS GOT FIRED FOR ALLEGEDLY THROWING A CHAIR AT A STUDENT

[ezekiel13]

Knowing that you’re going to fail an exam because you’ve been too ill to revise is really just a kick in the head.

Like yeah. I’m going to fail. I can’t do anything about it.

[inttezaar]

indian college management are literally the worst. they never show up in time of need when there's an illness spread across campus because of their water and food, or when there's an issue with the hostels, or when someone is in need of help but as soon as a child fucks up, everyone fights to bring down their reputation and give them the worst possible consequences