#fuck nutrient deficiencies

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

"gEt a CaReEr" bitch my career is the ground get out of my sight.

[wetslug]

people will try so hard to pathologize after-meal bloating as if the food is supposed to teleport to a Unknown Secondary Location after you eat it

[sirsparklepants]

Nothing I love more than getting a call that I have to come into the doctor to get my labs redone! I'm sitting here at midnight in bed fretting and crossing my fingers that it just got fucked up because of the holiday and not because there's something wildly wrong with my levels.

[plantanarchy]

Yeah I hurt my back pretty bad yesterday, have been doing the same grueling repetitive tasks all week, and have been doing all the day to day making sure poinsettias don't die alone but. It's pretty

[trans-cuchulainn]

my hospital switched to a system where i can see a lot of the data they hold for me online and it's actually very funny because i can see where they completely lied about my height and said i was five foot seven but then put my weight as it actually is, skewing my BMI massively, and then it just goes back to normal and nobody ever mentioned it again

[eviltext]

when can we report ads i just got one for keto (the diet)

[crimeronan]

wld not at all blame you for being burnt out on text/cdth but all your poly gangsey & co fics have given me so so so much joy (I reread that soulmate au every few months it makes me ACHE!!) so just know that if you Do finish your WIPs there are absolutely ppl out there who want to read them (hi. me) and even if u don't thank u for writing and sharing all that u have :)

this is very sweet thank you 🥺 lately it's felt like most of the people who engage with the fandom in a way i enjoy have begun to move on for the obvious reasons of, like, dreamer trilogy leaving people unsatisfied with the found family resolutions and polyamory and whatnot. and it's a little exhausting to be a content creator who cares mostly about hennessy when her relationship with ronan is constantly belittled or erased and fics centered ON her get barely any engagement unless i also tag pynch. so it's very nice to hear that there are still people who care and who would want to read more writing that builds on the dynamics in this series

there was a LOT i loved so so SO much about greywaren but there were also enough things that burnt me that i was like "you know what'll Never make me feel narratively betrayed tho?? the blorbos from my brain." and then i threw myself back into my original fiction project. if you see me tagging an unusual number of posts with devin ruby sol and/or nova when i'd usually tag them with fandom characters, that's why. they're living rent free in my noggin at the moment

[nexus-nebulae]

fun that i can literally only eat once a day most of the time solely bc i am required to rely on everyone else around me for it

[trans-phone-eater]

I'm feeling nauseous from hunger. The last time i was that hungry was over a year ago. It's not even that long since i last ate something.

[systlin]

People that are absolutely convinced anyone can be vegan/vegetarian baffle me. I eat meat fairly regularly and I am already courting a B12 deficiency (for anyone who doesn't know the easiest source of B12 that the human body likes to absorb is red meat, you can get it from other sources primarily leafy greens I believe but your not getting as much because it's not as easy for your body to absorb) my levels aren't low enough to be considered clinically deficient but it's a near thing so my doctor has told me to take 2 B12 vitamins every day. I'm hoping this fixes my levels because if it doesn't that's a sign of a much more serious problem where my digestive system is biologically struggling to absorb B12

Gods, I feel you

When I got my Chron's diagnosis, the gastroenterologist and I talked about diet. High fiber is my enemy. I'm mostly OK now thanks to maintenance medication, but even now I can't have more than a single handful of nuts or popcorn without Suffering after. Raw vegetables are iffy; I can eat a couple of radishes or carrot sticks, but celery sets it off and raw broccoli or cauliflower is misery. I can have ONE small bowl of salad a day, which sucks because I LOVE salad. I have to be careful to limit servings of raw fruit, which also sucks because I adore cherries and pears and peaches.

Cooked vegetables are mostly fine, though I still have to keep the broccoli and brussels sprouts servings small. Cooked fruit is fine too. Beans are iffy. I can have some, but not a lot, which sucks because I love beans. Tofu is OK, but during my flare it gave me worse gas.

During a flare, my safe foods were cheese, meat, eggs, milk, fruit juice, vegetable juice, white bread, and cream of wheat. It was a fucking nightmare to try and get all the nutrients into me that I need. You will note that most of these are in fact animal products. I was under literal medical orders to keep the hell away from non-juiced fruits and vegetables.

Of course, a bunch of people came out of the woodwork to tell me that I could heal myself by cutting out all dairy and wheat and going vegan/raw vegan. People still do this regularly. I've deleted ten out of my inbox since yesterday.

If I tried to go vegan, it would be very, very rough on my traitor-ass large intestine and would probably send me into a flare. If I tried to go RAW vegan, it would probably mean surgery and might kill me.

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙏𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝?

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 3.5k

𝙖/𝙣: anonnie, i'm so sorry...i've been through the same and it isn't easy...but im so proud of you for making it as far as you did and we'll do it together <3

𝙩/𝙬: changbin is insecure about a lot of things, unheathy methods, fainting and nutrient deficiency, jealousy, sadness, crying, etc.

𝒍𝒆𝒆: changbin

𝙡𝙚𝙧: minho and hyunjin

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeongins-diary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkedloveandlostpromises @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @r00ni1

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s🖤

IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM DO I BELIEVE THAT CHANGBIN IS UGLY. THIS IS JUST FICTION AND IS NOT MEANT TO RESEMBLE REAL LIFE PEOPLE!!! I BELIEVE THAT CHANGBIN IS ONE OF THE PRETTIEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON AND I STAND BY THAT!!!

“AGH! Stop that!” Changbin hissed, slapping Hyunjin’s hand away from his skin. 

Binnie scolded himself for wearing a tank top yet again. He just never learned from his mistakes. 

He was just trying to speak with the other members, but Hyunjin decided to bother him by sticking his fingers into his upper ribs, near his armpits. 

Every shriek the younger earned only increased his need to hear more of them, but Hyunjin got his share of karma soon enough. 

“Rank every member by how ticklish they are?! Oh, that sounds like fun!” Chan smirked evilly, everyone’s eyes moving to either Hyunjin or a certain maknae bread. 

“Okay, so Hyunjin and Jeongin are tied for first.” Minho started, humming while he thought. “Then Hannie, definitely.”

Jisung started coughing, a blush appearing on his face. Lino thought for a few more moments before speaking again. 

“Then it should be Lixie or Chan hyung.”

At once, loud arguments broke out. Both Chan and Felix started shouting at the same time and Minho yelled for them to stop. 

“There’s no way you’re less ticklish than me and Lixie!” Chan protested, Felix nodding his head with an offended look. 

“But-!” Lino tried to defend himself, but it didn’t work out in the end. 

So next on the list was Minho. 

“NOW it’s you two.” Lino commented quickly before anyone had a chance to tease him because of his position in the top three. 

Everyone agreed. “Oooh, I can’t decide between Seungmin and Changbin!” Minho groaned, thinking as hard as he could. 

Meanwhile, both mentioned members started to flush deeply, glancing at each other in embarrassment. 

“Let’s have a vote!” Jeongin proposed, and everyone quickly agreed. 

“Who votes for Seungmin hyung?” Jeongin asked, putting his own hand up. 

Surprisingly, everyone agreed, including Seungmin himself, that he was most probably more ticklish than Changbin. 

Changbin grinned happily as everyone else began to tease each other, excluding him. 

So there he was, at the bottom of the list. At the moment, it seemed great to Changbin.  

Nobody could tease him considering they were higher on the list. 

But as Changbin learned, it wasn’t always the best in every case. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Changbin groaned as he flexed again in the mirror. He has been working so hard in the gym, yet he was unable, in his opinion, to improve his body for their upcoming performance. 

He hadn’t changed at all, and he was sure that STAY’s would hate him for it. 

[NOT TRUE AT ALL HE’S SO FUCKING PRETTYYY]

His mind began to flash with all the things they would call him. ‘The least popular member AND the least improved?’

Binnie swore that he would break down crying if he thought anymore, so he walked off to try and distract himself. 

Minho walked by him in the kitchen, squeezing his belly playfully. It was meant to be a show of affection, but at the moment, Changbin started overthinking, believing that Minho was teasing him. 

His eyes welled up, and he blinked rapidly to extinguish the tears before they threatened to drop. 

Lino, however, had noticed the rapper’s empty response to his affection, especially at something that would normally earn him at least a giggle. 

It was all over when dinner happened, and Changbin was already out of it, leaving the members to believe something was wrong. 

They tried with their greatest efforts to involve him in their conversations, believing that he felt left out and lonely, but the only fruit of their efforts were empty replies and few-word responses. 

After some concerned glances at each other, Jeongin decided it lighten up the mood by prodding Binnie’s ribs twice, earning quiet squeaks and jolts. 

After that, all the members began to coo and giggle at him, smiling at him and playing with his hands to try and cheer him up. 

At the show of affection, Changbin’s cheeks flushed a rosy color, and the once dimmed sparkles returned to his eyes. 

“Binnieee! You look so cute blushing for us, do it some more?~” Chan teased. 

“Our chubby, cute Changbinnieee~” Hyunjin giggled, squishing at the boy’s cheeks. 

Changbin’s mind only caught onto one word. He had tried so hard to distract himself from it, but his overthinking returned as his mind began to spiral uncomfortably. ‘Chubby.’

The other members must have noticed that he blanked out, because he suddenly snapped back to reality and heard multiple concerned voices calling his name. 

Changbin smiled and excused himself, locking himself in his room the first moment he got. 

The other members sat in silence, staring at his untouched plate of food and empty glass of water, wondering what they did wrong. 

Over the next few days, the dorm was uncomfortably silent, the once loud and cheery dwaekki now practically living at the gym, not coming home even to eat proper meals, though Chan noticed their box of protein powder and electrolyte packets getting considerably lighter. 

Changbin still spoke to the members, however his flame had distinguished and his smiles seemed more strained, and the rapper had now seemed to be struggling to keep himself upright. 

The others had constantly tried to get him to take better care of himself, even taking it to the point of where they tried to force meals into his throat. 

It only barely worked, and now the members had even less time due to comeback schedules. 

Minho and Chan started to take tolls on their health too, and small worry creases began to form on their faces. 

In general, the group had no time for breaks, and when they weren’t performing, they barely saw Changbin at all. 

The members started to dearly miss the happy, responsible rapper, considering he was their light during all the hardships of comeback season. 

But once, they got a break, and was ordered by the company to stay within the building. 

The members shuffled awkwardly into the dorm, the energy changing since they realized that it would be the first time together in the dorm in a long period of time. 

Everybody ate quietly, and soon enough, Hyunjin couldn’t handle it anymore. “What happened here?” He scoffed sarcastically. 

He quickly stuck his fingers up Jisung’s shirt, earning a high pitched yelp. 

Quick as lighting, the group was back, talking to each other, grinning in happiness. 

After dinner, they battled the maknae down onto the couch and went to town, releasing all their stress through their tickling fingers. 

Jeongin was screaming, out of breath and begging as Changbin quietly held his arms down, smiling when the maknae looked at him with teary, pleading eyes. 

A sudden surge of jealousy suddenly struck the unprepared rapper, who flushed as he watched all the member’s fingers wiggling onto the youngest’s worst spots. 

Ever since the day they had ranked themselves in the list, Changbin noticed a considerable difference in the amount he got tickled, noticing the others always getting each other and not him. 

He started to realize that maybe it was because he ranked so low, because they wanted someone with better reactions, someone who was more ticklish. 

Insecurity flashed before his eyes, and his chest hurt as he tried to hold back his tears for the umpteenth time that week. 

Changbin hadn’t even realized that he had let go of the maknae’s arms, and that the others had been staring at him. 

Changbin’s vision went blurry, and his stomach cried out again for food, but yet again he shoved the feelings down as he reached for his water bottle. 

After determining that it was empty, he stood up to refill it, and regretted it as dark and white spots swam in his vision.

Binnie stumbled backwards, startling the others as they reached out to catch him. 

“Hyung? Are you okay?” Hannie gasped, noticing the older stumbling over himself. 

Felix immediately stood up to help him, taking the bottle from his hands and running to fill it. 

Seungmin stood up and wrapped his arms around his waist, gasping quietly when he felt just how much weight Changbin had lost to his unhealthy methods. 

Changbin groaned in pain, wrapping his arms around his stomach and shuddering. 

Suddenly, his entire body gave up on him, sore and spent from the long hours of gym with no energy intake. 

Lixie ran back with the water bottle just to let out a loud scream as Binnie collapsed. Luckily, Seungmin was able to safely lower him to the ground, where the others began to panic and shout, trying to wake him up. 

Changbin shook in pain for a few seconds before slumping completely, and Chan ran to get the building doctor. 

Hyunjin shook his head unhappily. He had seen it all coming. 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Changbin woke up with a jump, feeling fingers running along his side. His eyes felt heavy and exhausted, and he almost shut them again. 

“See?! I knew that would wake him up!” Binnie recognized Minho’s voice. 

He heard multiple voices around him murmuring, and he watched as Jisung grabbed and yanked him into a hug, and he sank into the younger’s hold. 

He felt more arms wrap around him, engulfing him in a wave of warmth and love. 

All at once, shame and embarrassment overwashed Changbin’s senses, and he sobbed suddenly, the sounds weak and broken as everyone’s hold tightened, like a strong anchor he could hold onto in the darkest of times. 

He cried and cried, wailing quietly and trembling in weakness. 

Binnie’s stomach hurt so badly, and he cursed himself for being such a fool, for making a big scene out of everything. 

But a voice cut him off. “Take this.” Chan kneeled down to reach his sitting position, placing multiple pills and a glass of water in the rapper’s hand. 

At his confused look, Chris explained. “Nutrient deficiency. Overworked and underfed.” He firmly pressed them into the boy’s palm. 

Changbin felt embarrassed, for being knocked over like a weak child, and when he looked down in shame, Chan realized that he was being too harsh for someone who had already received punishment enough. 

“I’m sorry, bunny. We should have been taking care of you…but we didn’t. I thought you knew better than to do that.” Chan didn’t speak in a angry tone, but a soft, concerned tone, not accusing or harsh. 

Changbin sniffled and glanced at the leader with watery eyes. “I’m so sorry, hyung...” He whispered, more tears splashing onto his clenched fists. 

Chan’s expression softened as he wiped away Binnie’s tears, the other members staring in slight shock. 

“I-I just wanted to look better, for the fans. I don’t wanna look chubby!” He cried out, finally letting out the words that had been plaguing him for so long. 

“I don’t want to be hated…I didn’t want any of this…” He whimpered, gasping for breath as Chan’s eyes widened in horror. 

Minho stared at the leader in shock, and Hyunjin suddenly felt guilt hit him like a truck, remembering his earlier comment to the older that had made him blank out. 

The members hugged him tight, and Chan even sat him on his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist protectively as Changbin finally swallowed the pills slowly.  

He whined as Chan pressed in a little deeper, though the leader decided to leave it to another day, and everyone carried the rapper back to dorm. 

Lino immediately started up the stove, ready to cook food. Felix grabbed the chocolate bars from the fridge. 

After Changbin had taken a much needed shower, he walked into the hall just to see the hall set up for movie night; tons of food and blankets were placed everywhere, along with a fresh batch of brownies. 

He looked around for the members, but nobody was there. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms fasten around his waist, and yank his frail body into the air.

Binnie squealed in surprise, and he stared at Hyunjin as the younger easily manhandled him, carrying him bridal-style to the couch. 

Changbin didn’t want to admit it, but watching the dancer lift him like he weighed nothing caused his lee mood to flare up. Badly. 

The other members appeared suddenly, kissing his cheeks and playing with his fingers, causing him to flush a happy rosy pink.  

They sat Binnie down and took turns feeding him food, and he groaned happily at the taste that he had missed so much, happily taking the food from everyone. 

Felix tapped his cheek twice to tell him to open his mouth, and Changbin hesitated as he eyed the brownie in the younger’s hand. 

Seungmin appeared behind him and snuck his hands under the boy’s shirt, suddenly tickling him everywhere, and through the rapper’s giggles, Lixie managed to get the brownie in his mouth. 

After the small incident, Binnie was unable to focus as his lee mood drove him mad, every touch by another member had him flinching, and it didn’t help that he could hear Chan trying to muffle his laughter as Felix kept poking his side. 

Changbin felt like he needed to start provoking somebody to tickle him; there was no way he would be able to sleep with this lee mood. 

He suddenly leapt onto Hyunjin, digging into the boy’s sides and hearing loud squawks of laughter. 

Soon enough, he let up, hoping that Hyunjin was willing to try and take his revenge somehow. 

But it just caused the entire group to start wrecking Hyunjin, and his loud screams drowned out Changbin’s frustrated groan. 

That night, Changbin was unable to sleep, staring at his phone. He felt more energized though, probably because the members shoved so much food down his throat his stomach was threatening to burst. 

He threw his own arms over his head, wondering what it would feel like to be pinned down so tightly that he couldn’t move, and wrecked in every spot until he went insane. 

He watched some clips of the other members tickling each other, and he noticed the absence of clips of his own, though it was clear that he did tickle the others a lot.  

Changbin turned off his phone and set it on the bedside table, making sure to keep his arms up as he imagined it. 

Usually he was holding the member’s arms above his head, but sometimes when Chan tried to do it to him, he ended up being too strong and yanking his arms down himself. 

Changbin whined to himself. Sometimes being the strongest member was a blessing and a curse. 

He finally put his arms down as the cold air hitting the underside of his arms started to feel uncomfortable.

Changbin turned and shut his eyes just as he heard the bedroom door open. 

Opening his eyes just a little, he spotted Minho and Hyunjin standing over him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe, they would tickle him awake. 

“I know you’re awake, Binnie.” 

So much for that. Changbin slowly opened his eyes and stared at the two as they got into bed with him, on either side. 

Once they had turned Changbin into the jam spread on their sandwich, they wrapped their arms around him. 

It was peaceful and quiet, and Binnie momentarily forgot all about his need for tickles, just enjoying the moment with his members. 

Suddenly, an unbearable tingle began at his side, and he grunted before grabbing Hyunjin’s invading hand. 

“Don’t.” He said, though he didn’t mean it. 

“Oh, I think we should, shouldn’t we?” Minho responded, and Changbin noticed his face burning. 

“N-No!” He yelled, Minho’s grip on his wrists suddenly becoming known to him. He squirmed weakly, which was noted by the dancer. 

“Did you really think we’d not notice the way you were watching earlier?” Hyunjin giggled, watching Changbin’s eyes widen. 

“So, Binnie. Were you…jealous, perhaps?” Lino teased, leaning in slightly knowing that it would fluster the rapper. 

“No! W-Why would I be?” Binnie deflected, and Minho released his wrists. “I guess we’re done now.” 

Desperate, Changbin replied. “Wait! Okay, maybe I was a little…j-jealous.” He looked down at the end, and the other two cooed playfully at him. 

“Did you wanna get wrecked, oh big, tough, Binnie?” Minho teased, watching Changbin’s face turn the color of roses as he whined. 

“Is that what you came here for?” Changbin asked, his tone hopeful, which definitely startled Hyunjin. 

“What do you mean?” The tallest asked. “I mean, wouldn’t you rather get someone else, you know, someone more ticklish than me?” Changbin whispered, not wanting them to feel uncomfortable. 

There was a quiet silence, and Changbin glanced up to see the two staring sadly at him. “Is that why you were upset for so long?” Minho asked, and Binnie nodded slowly. 

“I’m so sorry, baby. We should’ve shown equality, but we didn’t.” Minho gave the rapper a quick apologetic hug, suddenly guilty. 

“But now, we’ll wreck you the way you deserve.” He gestured to Hyunjin. 

“What about the others?” Binnie didn’t want to wake up the sleeping members. 

“They’ve gone to the other dorm to get something, it’s just us.” Minho reassured, and Changbin didn’t even notice Hyunjin pulling his arms up and sitting on them. 

Minho sent a teasing poke at Binnie’s ribs, the boy shrieking and trying to yank his arms down to protect the spot…just to realize that he was immobile. 

“Hyun-JIN! Get ohohoff!” Changbin burst into loud giggles as another pair of fingers walked right into his bare underarms, and Minho concentrated purely on his sensitive hips. 

After some time of his cute giggling, Binnie felt a little guilty. “Hyuhuhung! Stohop fohor a sehehecond!” 

Minho slowed his fingers so they were just tracing in the crevices of the boy’s ribs. The light sensations sent tingles shooting up Binnie’s body. 

“Go rougher…I feel like you’re getting bored.” Binnie pouted sadly. Lino’s face softened, and Hyunjin smiled reassuringly before speaking. 

“We’d never get bored with this~” And the tallest started to lightly wiggle his fingers across the boy’s neck, eliciting the cutest giggles from the rapper beneath him. 

“How about we go rougher anyway, since our dear Binnie asked for it?” Lino asked, smirking down at the pinned rapper. 

The two suddenly started scribbling wherever they could, switching between spots as fast as they could. 

Changbin was in shambles, laughter growing louder and louder as he tried his hardest to escape, but just couldn’t. 

“See? You’re the least ticklish, but look at how you’re laughing now.” Minho grabbed a small mirror from the bedside table and shoved it in Changbin’s face. 

Embarrassed, the rapper tried to turn his head away, but when Hyunjin held his chin and forced him to look at himself, Changbin saw himself. 

So content and happy, grinning ear to ear in joy, small tears resting on his rosy face. 

Changbin never expected himself to look as pretty as he did, but his chest grew warm in fondness, looking at his own reflection as he giggled involuntarily. 

“See? You look so pretty for us, giggling like that~” Minho cooed, fingers still tickling at Changbin’s side as his other hand held up the mirror. 

Lino decided to move further up, slipping his hand under the boy’s shirt and squeezing his upper ribs, switching the mirror to his phone as he pressed record. 

Binnie cackled with laughter, the cute sound making Hyunjin smile so hard his face started to ache. 

“AAAHAH! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES!” He laughed loudly, falling apart as he tried his hardest to yank his arms down, but couldn’t as Hyunjin sat on them, and his weakened state didn’t allow him to use his strength. 

He didn’t even know there was a camera recording him until he heard Hyunjin speak.

“Isn’t he so cute?” The tallest stuck his fingers into Changbin’s outstretched armpits, and the middle screamed as two pairs of hands tickled him to pieces. 

“STOPSTOPSTOHOHOHOHOP! HYUHUHUHAHAHAHA!” Binnie was falling apart already, throwing his head in every direction. 

“STAYs, you wanna see how ticklish he really is?” Minho followed by blowing a looong raspberry right onto the sensitive area along Binnie’s top ribs, the spot easily accessible due to the tank top that Changbin just couldn’t stop wearing. 

Hyunjin pointed the camera to his face right as the boy howled with laughter, high pitched squeals and cackles following as his sensitive spot was abused relentlessly. 

His feet kicked wildly in the blankets as small tears fell down his red face. 

“NAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE-AGHAHAHAHA!” He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so hard, his lee mood satisfied and content. 

“OKAAAY—! IHIHIMDONE HYUHUHUNG PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAP!” He finally screeched, his now hypersensitive body trembling in exhaustion. 

“Only if you admit you’re beautiful!” Hyunjin yelled over the loud laughter. 

Changbin shook his head, and Minho only blew harder into the sensitive skin, while Hyune decided to help by lightly tickling the rapper’s neck. 

“OKAHAHAY OKAHAHAY! YOU WIHIHIN! IHIHIM BEHEHEAUTIFUL!” 

Minho let up, relishing in the dwaekki’s tiny giggles as he rubbed at his body, loudly panting. 

The three ended up sleeping together anyway, and Changbin was first to get wrecked in the morning as well. 

Wanna know why? 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chan crowded into the bed with the other kids, too lazy to head back to the other dorm. 

He knew Minho would take care of things there anyway. 

Suddenly 5 phones lit up, and Chan warily opened the official Kid’s Tiktok. 

😼 posted a video: our baby bunny 🐷🐰^^

[zoctopode]

What's your deepest desire

i want to get injured doing something cool like a ski jump or an explosion at a leather jacket store or saving a baby from a hammer factory. injured in such a way that doesnt threaten permanent damage but is temporarily totally debilitating, so everybody has too coo over me and make me food and say aw fuck Z youre so cool and brave. and like, ill try to protest to give the illusion that im being all aloof and independent but i got hit by every hammer in that hammer factory, aint no way theyre letting me fend for myself. just like a 24/7 parade of being the centre of attention without the mortifying concession of openly wanting it

also while im getting seen at the doctors for all my hammer lesions and teeth marks where all the babys hung on to me in my daring rescue, they run some Test on me and find out im critically deficient in some nutrient, and every minor problem i have stems from like, not eating enough apples. and then i start eating apples and my life massively improves and my friends are in awe. how did you go so long without all your nutrients, they say, moved to tears and thoroughly cowed by my blistering resolve and perseverance. z youre the coolest girl in the world stop backflipping and doing skateboard tricks everywhere youre gonna head right towards that big hill with the hammer factory at the bottom

anyway failing that, id also settle for like, a really good sandwich

[bumblebeerror]

I’m so so tired of diet and fitness culture that counts calories or calls foods empty or metabolism killers. I’m so tired.

A calorie is a measurement of energy produced by burning the item and measuring how much it raises the temperature of water.

This is not an accurate representation of how a body uses food. At all. Your body craves different foods at different times, uses nutrients like vitamin C or Iron. Listening to what you crave is a good way to tell what you might be deficient in, because your body knows what it needs and will try to convince your brain to give it.

Carbs and sugar are not empty or a “metabolism killer”. Carbs are quickly available energy for a body, something generally easier for it to take apart and use.

Fats aren’t evil. They’re complex molecules that help give consistent energy for several hours, and contain very vital structures that are used throughout the body.

Food is food. Humans are omnivores for a reason - because we need all kinds of foods which contain different minerals and vitamins and fat contents and carbs and proteins.

Food doesn’t have to taste bad to be worth those things to your body.

Your body doesn’t care that you’re eating guacamole and salsa with chips, it only cares that it’s getting important fats, sugars, and carbs, along with a slew of excellent nutrients from the fresh fruits in there, and a good dose of electrolytes and water as well.

Your food doesn’t have to be perfectly fresh or raw veggies with no sauce or 100% lean meat to be good for you. Calories effectively aren’t real. And if I could tear down diet culture all by myself I would happily make a bloody fucking massacre of the whole thing.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

So to really oversimplify it, Calcium is what your body releases to signal your muscles and tissues to tense up, and Magnesium is what your body uses to tell your muscles and tissues to relax again.

An imbalance of these is BAD.

Too much or too little of either can stop your heart in extreme cases, and suddenly changing your serum/blood levels is particularly dangerous.

Part of why vitamin D is important but also why it's so fucked up supplements often contain magnitudes more than they claim they do, is because vitamin d so strongly impacts how much calcium -also iron- you will suddenly be absorbing from your food, which can trigger cardiac spasms [heart attacks with no clot].

This is why hard water causes muscle cramps and headaches, because it causes you to overdose on calcium, or alternately magnesium, depending on the hard water, location etc...

This is why "calcium channel blockers" relax heart muscle tension, lower your blood pressure and relax your muscles.

This is also why trying to relax your muscles more without lowering your blood pressure is fucking impossible. A problem for anyone with muscle tension but also low blood pressure. You literally cannot treat one without making the other a lot worse.

This is why magnesium supplements -IF YOU ARE DEFICIENT- can help with sleep, high blood pressure, pain and muscle tension.

This is also why -due to the physical feedback created by being physically unable to relax to your nervous system- magnesium can help with anxiety.

You need both for healthy bones too, btw, not just calcium supplements as you age.

Low calcium or too much magnesium can also cause slowed heart rate, missing heartbeats, dizziness, weakness and fatigue. HOWEVER, too much calcium can also cause skipped heartbeats and dizziness from a lack of proper circulation because your heart isn't relaxing enough between beats. Both are dangerous.

BOTH of these minerals can build up in your body and aren't like 'water soluble' nutrients in the body in the same way that vitamin C is for example where too much will just be flushed away, your body stores these bitches in your bones pretty obsessively, so it's a good idea to get your levels checked if you think supplementing either might help you. [Technically they are water soluble, but it's helpful to think of them as being like 'fat soluble' nutrients that your body will hold onto, just like, for bones and not fat... This is also why meat broth and meat in general is high in calcium, once life isn't holding the minerals in the bones it dissolves out into the meat.]

If you have problems with blood pressure, heart symptoms, tension or fatigue at all, it is a good idea to rule out low or high calcium or magnesium as a cause because it's a really simple thing to treat with supplements or dietary changes that doctors can't deny you once you have the information about your blood levels in your hands. You only need them to agree to check your levels here and there to make sure nothing is getting out of hand.

I'm not just saying "ask your doctor before supplementing" I am saying "Doctors are necessary idiots ask them to actually CHECK your blood levels before advising you on whether or not to supplement".

This is why I find it interesting that people with high blood pressure or chest pain or cardiac spasms are asked about their salt intake or told to avoid salt but aren't ever asked about their calcium intake. I'm kind of low-level pissed at all times that doctors don't check both of these mineral levels on a regular basis for everyone.

Having the right mineral levels, including these but also phosphorus and potassium and iron etc... has such a HUGE body-wide impact on things you would never guess they would impact so so badly, but they are like, the main components of the molecules your body uses to do everything, including like, signal nerves and move muscles. You use these things every time your heart beats and every time you breathe or have a thought, etc... They impact everything. Everything.

Hell a lot of lists of the minerals you need will straight up not even mention phosphorus, but your body uses phosphate groups to make ATP... You know, the molecule that is literally "energy" in your body at a cellular level. It is recommended that healthy adults get between 800 mg and 1,200 mg of phosphorus each day. And it's hard to source because most plant sources aren't bio-available unless you soak your grains [remember that trend of "activating" nuts and grains?... I like cokey-cola because is uses phosphoric acid in place of citric acid which gives it a dryer taste and helps my energy levels in ways not accounted for by the caffeine]. But also too much Phosphorus can pull calcium out of your bones and leave it free floating around your body to build up random places and cause problems!

Potassium is an important electrolyte in your BRAIN and without it you can't think critically and can be prone to all sorts of mental problems like confusion, depression, mental fatigue, running instinctively on autopilot and not engaging critically with ideas because you brain literally can't! Low Potassium makes you more susceptible to mental manipulation and lowers your defenses to negative thought patterns.

I know it can sound stupid and fake, but getting the nutrients you need really does impact your day to day health and specifically your energy levels and mood. Mineral deficiencies can cause depression, fatigue and anxiety and can make existing mental health problems so so much worse.

Kowing your micromineral levels is important! [I am sure trace minerals are important too but your body needs so little it's usually a lot harder to be deficient unless you have a very restricted diet or absorption issues].

Check your levels periodically with your doctor's help and make sure you keep them -not just- "in normal ranges" but have your doctor specify whether they are on the high or low end so you know where your wiggle room is to adjust accordingly depending on your symptoms and how those potentially reflect your personal body's needs. [ie: just because your iron isn't dangerously low doesn't mean supplementing it wouldn't help your energy levels, so long as you aren't getting too much, etc]

Btw this is also why starving yourself fucks you up. And it's why having a lot of food aversions gets tricky to manage. You need to eat. You need specific nutrients and not just calories [you need those too]. And by *need* I don't just mean you might feel slightly crappier in some vague abstract way, I mean you need it for your heart and brain to function correctly and for your muscles to move. [Your brain is you]

[ovaruling]

mostly a vent but—how do so many adults not only know so completely zero about nourishing themselves properly, but also have zero curiosity about their nourishment on top of that? like how are basic nutritional facts and basic food nutritional profiles and the barest RDAs not known and not even wondered about

like i meet adults every single day who literally can’t grasp the concept of a meal that they know and understand the components of. like. they legitimately don’t know or care what they’re eating at any point of the day but have complaints of many solvable symptoms of nutrient deficiency or saturation

even a large number of people who cook all the time will seem to have this incredible blind spot for knowing anything about nourishment

like there are people who think you legitimately don’t get nutrients from anything but animal flesh and leafy greens and then i’m supposed to act surprised when their bloodwork is a mess

and when i suggest “oh you may need to include more things like orange juice and potatoes and bananas and pumpkin seeds and dried fruit for other quick sources of electrolytes that aren’t just shit tons of sodium” after friendly discussions of muscle cramping despite water and Gatorade consumption

and they’re like “oh my god you’re so smart…,” lmao no i’m fucking not!!! fr how can you have persistent muscle cramping every day and not even WONDER if it’s related to what you do or do not put into your body. that’s my FIRST thought every time i have a palpable issue—“maybe i’m getting too little or too much of something, let’s get curious and think critically about what i’m currently eating and drinking”

especially people with chronic illness like me!!!!! come on now!!!!! how can you not even deign to google what nutritional advice you might benefit from!!!!

i’ve fr had people be in awe of my casual recommendation of eating more fiber. and even more awe about what foods contain fiber. like. you cannot be serious that you didn’t know that about your human body. you cannot be fucking serious!!!!!!!

how can you go through your day—through your adult life—not knowing or caring if you’re meeting your individual nutritional needs and how can you not even be CURIOUS about that if you know that you don’t know. ppl act like you need regular bloodwork to be able to suspect anything abt your body enough to try the very risky risk of simply eating more of xyz type of food (usually a fruit or vegetable god forbid) or something to just see if it helps with your issue ykwim. like eat an apple and maybe your gums will stop bleeding, matey. oh no cap’n i can’t i would need sooo much bloodwork to know if it’s ok to try eating an apple!!! come on now

like. i know im not a genius to just be knowing Feeding Yourself Properly 101. my parents never taught me a damn thing about nutrition and i never even learned it at school. it’s not hard. i know it’s not. so everyone else must just be stupid as hell abt this or willfully ignorant

and maybe they are bc the average western diet has most ppl malnourished despite a very, very large daily intake of calories so idk man IDK!!!!!

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx