#FUCK OFF IF YOU WORRY
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OU GOS L I I PLEASE GEAR ME OUT HERE ILL TRY BE AASS HCOHERENT AS POSSIBLE
I AM EXPEREICNING PURE WUPHORIA, A JOY UNLIKE ANY ORHEE HUMAN ONE,
AND DESPITE THAT DACT - I AM VERY REGRETFUL FOR IT AND OH SO DESPERATELT WANT IT TO END
YET IT WILL ONLY DRY OUT ON ITS OWN ANS I ASSURE YOU THAT THE FOLLOWING ME WILL BE far lESS OPTIMISTIC THAN I AM NOW
I DONT KNOW WHY, I DONT KNOW WHO, AND I DONT KNOW WJEN, BUT SOMETHING JUST FLICKERED AND MU BODY IS SOMEWHAT NOT MINE AND YET I AM SO MUSELF
SHEER CONFIDENCE AND DOPAMINE RUNNING THROUGH EVEEY MUSCLE TO THE POINT OF FORMING A TREMBLE
IT WASNT INFLUENCED NOT THAT I REMMEBER BUT I DONT REALLY REMEMBER MCUH NOW
PLEASE DONT VIEW ME AS CEAZY I JUST I JUST I HAVE TO FULFIL THE CRAZY URGE Of WRITING OR ILL GENUINELY FO INSANE
PLEASE STAND BY AND CHILLOUT I WILL SOON BURN OUT LIKE A STAR !!!!!!!!!!!!
CAPS ARE NECCESARY TO VOICE MY MINDS VOLUME, KEYBOARRDNBD IS EVEEYWHERE, MY HAAND SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES, AND IM SO EXCITED TO SHARE THAT IM GOING AGAINST ALL MY OWN MORALS LIKE A MAN TRAPPED BEHIND A SCREEN TO HIS OWN BODY
THIS IS SO GREAT BUT SO HORIRBLE I REALLY AM SORRRURBABHAHHAHAHHAHHAHDJCHDJJAJXJFSHJXJDJJSJZJSJDB OIHHDHD I LOVE WEITITNG PLEASE LET ME WRITE OH U LOVE IT I LOVEEE ITTT
#IM HYSTERICAL#AND GOING INSANE#IM#IKMM#IM GOING INSANE#UTTERLY CRAZY#BONKERS#AHHH#AH SO MUCH THOUGHTS AND SO LOTTLE COMPREHENSION#I OWE NOBODY NOTHING!#FUCK OFF IF YOU WORRY#I DI MOT GOVE A SHITNOR A DAMN IF YOH CARE#IM ENJOYING MUSELF#AND I MUST WRITE#AND I MUST WRITE.
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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
#this is very obviously about my battle with#ptsd#but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery#i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness#and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different#here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed#learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly#and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest#and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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SPOILERS FOR DAY 4 OF 14DWY!!
i was actually losing my mind when i played day 4 lmao, so.... redraw time!!
i hope i drew it well enough haha
#num draws#ren posting#14dwy#14dwy ren#14 days with you#yandere vn#yandere#14dwy fanart#digital art#fanart#i adored day 4 so much UGH#im honestly really worried about how the cg redraw looks#i am not confident in it </3#but i hope it looks good enough!!#i spent a really long time on it haha#also for some reason i kept fucking up their hair and it was setting me OFF#its okay i think i got it in the end...#anyway... enjoy (??)
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charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥
X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)
#charles is soo insane for looking at a god in the face and telling him to fuck off bc he was hurting his best friend. most normal guy.#cherik#mine*#x-men#xmenedit#parallelsedit#filmedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#otp: i want you by my side#god charles' entire demeanor towards apocalypse in xma has always been SOO funny to me. he literally looks ANNOYED every time#apocalypse speaks in the movie. he doesn't even look intimidated or worried that he's trying to possess CHARLES'S BODY or anything#mind you charles wrote his thesis about mutation and here he has THE FIRST MUTANT ever in front of him. who's also a god threatening#to destroy the world. and charles' only reaction is:#'whatever. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY LOSER i CANNOT see erik from where you are standing and i'm worried about him'#and i do think it's very sweet that after this raven tells erik he has to fight for what he has left - and he thinks about charles#(the man that stood on the balcony all those years ago and that cared enough about him to tell him there is more to him#and the same man that STILL CARES ENOUGH to look at A GOD in the face and telling him to go fuck off and die and stop manipulating erik)#charles loves him so much you don't get it........... i'm foaming at the mouth i'm so normal about them
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goddd i just know that tim never takes off that fucking necklace. and you know bear doesn't have that much money so tge necklace was kinda cheap and it wasn't anything the bear meant for tim to wear regularly it was just like a keepsake y'know? wear it on a date or a nice outing. maybe when they're both home together. but tim is practically feral over it. like straight up refuses to take it off. it's turning his neck green at this point and everybody is soo done.
#bruce who's allergic to anything under $10000000 breaks out into hives everytime he sees it#bruce trying not to gag: sweetheart what if we replaced it? bernard wouldn't even know!#tim: if you try to replace my necklace i will leak that video of you pole dancing at the penguin lounge#bruce who's had worse things leaked: do it#tim 'backup plans for my backup plans' drake: i will send talia a compilation of you drunkenly rambling about how much you love her#bruce: .... okay you win#dick gets it#your first gay relationship does that to you#bear is a little worried tho#🐻: you know you don't have to wear it right? you could take it off#tim trembling and shaking: you don't want mw to wear it? 😢#🐻 immediately caving: no no! wearit as long as you want!!#dude even ra's gets in on it#ra's going over his master plan: so you see detective i will then- what the fuck is going on with your neck#tim seething cause he can hear his siblings laughing at him over the comms: shut the fuck up#dc#bernard dowd#tim drake#timber#timbern#could not stop thinking about the ra's scenario yesterday. kept making myself laugh
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sun: my bad dawg.
#'im so happy for you BUT FUCKING STOP!!!!!'#fnaf sb#fnaf#security breach#five nights at freddy's#sundrop#sun fnaf#y/n#sun x y/n#sun x reader#moon fnaf#moondrop#dont worry moon youll get your chance (eventually)#until then enjoy as your other half smooches the person you're yearnin after lmao get fucked buddy#its been awhile since i drew them they look a little weird ta me [。。]#based on this thing i do irl where whenever i talk 2 a friend i havent seen in awhile i go '*insert name* its been 17 years...........'#i dont smash my face against theirs and suck their face off tho so#if you're friends w/me and i say this dont worry man KJAFSKDFSJFD#moon needs a kiss BAD#animation is not my strong suit ignore that (i am lazy)#i made my pen too thin 🙄#spacie scribbles
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15Jun24
Some your-names said Louis’s a slag; In Mexico, gave him a shag. Ten or more touched the sky! He sparked up to reply: Fuck your rumors and also jet lag.
#larry#louis#louis tomlinson#fan rumors#delulu fans#louis in mexico#touch the sky#louis selfies#louis instagram#i don’t even know#i think this all originates from a twitter louie’s dms?#in which a fan spins masterful y/n yarns of louis hooking up with fans in mexico#highlights include:#louis is amazing in bed [hs can confirm]#he fucked approximately 10 women while in mexico [actually just harry in the snl mermaid outfit 10 times]#he likes to smoke weed after sex [duh]#he is a selfish lover who doesn’t need to know your name [this is larry roleplay]#and though he’s worried only about finishing himself off he will make you touch the sky#[can’t wait for the hs4 lyric about touching the sky]#these fans have obviously already sold video of the the torrid affair to the media#in which louis is sleeping naked#socials have been ablaze (heh) about it all day#who knows if it’s actually a response …#but the timing of louis’ latest selfie is interesting#in which he’s got a lit cigarette and is flipping off the camera#fuck jet lag#smoking tw#limerick-lt#june 15#2024
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she should've been problematic at the club
#rvb#red vs blue#south dakota#agent south dakota#rvb south#mine#*24#art#moden au bouncer/roadie/security guard south? 👀#instead of the ai thing she's pissed off at north bc he's all 'so when are you going to get a real job? i'm just worried you're#wasting your potential :( there's a community college near me i could talk to the teacher to let you in :)' treating her like a teenager#'you're not going to want to be throwing drunks out of bathrooms when you're forty south just be realistic' and south's just 🖕 die.#+ AU where south says fuck pfl and becomes a mercenary/bounty hunter? maybe teaming up with sharkface? she could end up at chorus too?#maybe she could get an actual ch arc and finally get out of her brothers shadow + grow as a person?? idk guyss....shes got potential
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Good morning everyone I'm currently thinking about how Orion was the first person Megatron killed and crying into my cereal :')
#i keep watching tik tok edits of the i'm done saving you scene#it's just so fucking devastating#they spent the whole first act establishing that these men love each other#and in the second act when d's eyes go orange and he starts growing a little unhinged#you can see orion start to worry and he even looks afraid when d almost offs starscream#but he still puts everything he has into saving his friend from sentinel (in multiple ways)#in the end d-16 is overcome by his rage at sentinel and it causes him to accidentally kill his best friend#orion was trying to save d from becoming the thing that he hates and adhfhuwufusugurgjfk#they make me so upset#megop#transformers one#tf one#tf one spoilers
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Being someone with a lot of ocs is truly an experience because you can oscillate between "oh no what if im copying someone :(" to "I want every character like this one to have a get together and see what happens"
you have to KILL the part thats afraid of copying. and make all the similar ocs have a tea party
#im being silly but also very serious#you can do whatever you want forever AND no idea is truly original#and you will have so much more fun if you can shake off the worry that maybe youve secretly copied someone#incidetally this also means telling anyone accusing you of copying to fuck off#anonymous#not oc tag#moss answers
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im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.
#eliot posts#the other day my roommate was talking abt how she hates shaving#but does it anyway bc she doesn't want people to be mean to her about her body hair#and i was like yeah i mean i used to#also worry about that bc my mother was always so fucking cruel to me when i didn't shave#but as an adult i find that it's extremely rare that anyone even mentions it (tho my body hair is pretty light so that could be a factor)#but even when people are shitty i find that i no longer give a shit about what what those idiots have to say about my body#but i understand that that can be a hard step to take so if you need to keep shaving for your own comfort then i won't judge#but on the inside i was just like#*ibuprofen hand meme* ''let's get called disgusting hairy d*kes together <3''#i had a great time showing off my pit hair at the pool today!#(i get read as a woman when im swimwear cuz i can't hide my body as much. so i get read as a hairy masculine woman.)#i show off my leg hair every time i wear shorts but like. my leg hair is Pathetic#i look practically prepubescent vis a vis my leg hair (my mother still calls it disgusting lmao)#but my pit hair is pretty good#i occupy a weird gendered place in society where i am more of a man in identify but society genders me as a woman#the only time i feel remotely okay being seen as a woman is when i am seen as a BAD woman. a woman who cannot/will not be A Proper Lady#it's not an entirely ACCURATE view of me but there's Something in it
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in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#also that's really interesting. with illario it's clearly not ever meant to wound but it serves a similar function of 'hey fuck off'#they have that friendly insult game going that veils some real resentments and conflicts that perhaps. should have been dealt with#considering that you could hardly find two people less alike in fundamental character than davrin and illario... fascinating#I suppose both of them push past lines of comfort and don't really let up at subtler signals to back off#(illario to needle and davrin mostly because he's that straightforward I think haha)#but the sheer viciousness with which lucanis responds makes me think there could mayhaps be some resentment with that dynamic#that he won't let out with illario himself b/c he has so few interpersonal relationships and wouldn't risk disrupting one#even when illario is getting up to some Shit even outside of the whole betrayal thing#and davrin is sooo uninterested in doing anything but call 'em as he sees 'em and it's glorious haha#it also means that I think lucanis is more honest in those banters than he is with anyone else I've seen#including the fact that he's mad and that the ossuary really did suck that bad actually#with bellara he's like 'don't worry about me I'm fine *thousand yard stare*' and with davrin he goes 'yeah I'm haunted forever by it.#does that satisfy your curiosity' lmao. and then they're just trading barely veiled death threats for a while#davrin is confrontational but he's also a safe person to be angry with b/c I think at the end of the day he is also fair#many thoughts. all the time. all veilguard up in my neurons 24/7
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Oops.
While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.
Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!
So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!
Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!
They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.
#dpxdc#pondhead blurbs#sometimes i wonder where the fuck this stuff comes from#which snail is responsible for this#but if it wasn't clear danny curses his bloodline and fucks it up because of course he does#so literally every single relative he's ever had is now suffering directly from fenton luck and sentient food fights#ma and pa kent are the only ones who reach out for advice#how did they figure out the fentons were the source? like they'd tell you those are family secrets you nosey bitch#so now the fentons are invited to spend the holidays with their distant cousins in Kansas#and meet their adopted son clark! who was just married! :D#side note the timeline changed right as the cake was cut at clark's reception so that was interesting#they had to pay for so much dry cleaning#clark's coworkers (fellow jl members) are a little worried about the sentient food but so far it's not really a big issue?#they can definitely take time off for the holidays to relax!#and they totally won't get dragged on any interdimensional adventures with a dead teenage godling as their guide!#feel free to continue#idk how many kids bruce has when clark marries lois but feel free to just throw some in#like JL members and their kids#just toss them in and watch the kids go feral#fighting your food is enrichment <3
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post runaway arc sillies
#kidlu#my art#op vamp au#described in alt text#context is: they fucked. luffy's having a bit of a crisis realizing things and kid is worried cause something was off the whole time.#that stupid bishi face i doodled was funny so you get to see it. i hope you can hear kid's ugliest snort
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Phone games
#i miss them. :(#ok so the thing is with drawing B is that he never looks like himself until I draw his glasses#so I keep worrying abt if I've fucked up until I add them and he IMMEDIATELY looks like himself#I could talk about how Lisa and Enoch kinda parallel B and A if you squint a lil but I think thats kinda a stretch#was mostly going off of the fact B and L are both trying to keep up with someone occupied with the future#that dies before them and also how if u invert L and E's eye colours you get a green n a yellow-y colour#but I am grabbing at dust with it really#also new brush test again. I am anything but consistant#hey since both B and A have a really similar sprite pose does that mean he's trying to imitate him a lil?#also what should Lisa/Tiph's emoji be? I like to put character emojis together whenever I draw them interacting#maybe a bow?#eh sure. I can change it later#stars are B/H btw#🎀🌠#normal tag time:#art#k draws art stuff#original art#digital art#fanart#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#benjamin lobcorp#lisa lobcorp
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