#FUCK I HATE HAVING FEELINGS
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chat I think I’m gonna do it
I think imma tell my crush how I feel about her tomorrow
#aaaaahhhhhhh#this is scary#i I don’t wanna ruin our friendship#FUCK I HATE HAVING FEELINGS#well at least I’ll have the entirety of winter break to hide from her#Wish me luck chat#smolldust#smolldust rambles#queer platonic attraction#queer platonic#qpr#fuck this shit I’m out#/ref
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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if you have a transfem lover I do not even know how to begin to explain how important it is that you touch her without her having to ask
#puppy barks#obviously like some people won't want that#but god what I wouldn't give to be fucking#explored? worshipped?#someone just grabbing me and feeling me like I'm the most beautiful creation on earth.#like they can't have enough of me.#and i hate feeling like I have to ask for it.#I want to feel like loving me like that comes naturally.
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DPxDC Idea
Danny working at Wayne Enterprises as some sort of engineer, uses the in-house app for all his blueprints and stuff
He starts getting notes from a coworker in-app, and assumes its this annoying older guy in his department who constantly undermines him because of his age, despite his education and past achievements (i feel like in this AU the Fentons react well to the reveal and they work together on a number of non-lethal ecto inventions that have Danny's name attached to them)
Except one day his coworker mentions never using the app, and Danny suddenly realizes there's only one other TD he could've been arguing with in the notes of the app
#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#tim drake#red robin#i have no ideas what happens beyond danny realizing it's been tim the whole time#and having a 'fuck ive been arguing with the big boss' moment#cause of course when he thinks its some asshole from his own department hes snarky as hell#but the ceo??#should he stop with the sarcastic explanations behind his designs?#or will tim think its weird if his tone changes#in my head this does end up being dead tired somehow#just because i love the idea of these two bonding over snarkiness and engineering#and i feel like tim would simultaneously love and hate danny's notes#but also is that actually in character? cause the only batman thing i've read is rhe webtoon#and i know some vague things about canon#but thats it#haven's writing
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
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#dashboard#staff#tumblr update#comic#art#doodles#costco ceo about the price of a hot dog.png#i refuse to believe this is a real problem that site owners think people have#frankly i refuse to believe people had this issue with deviantart before eclipse#i am sorry you have to put about 15 minutes of effort into understanding a new website. feel better soon#my main blog doesn't have it yet but i logged into here to make this post and. i have it#this is fucking terrible. it would ahve been really really funny for april fools day but not as a permanent change#i hate it a Lot. i hate it so fucking much. oh . my god.#edit - guys i amnot actually sending de*th threats to staff it's the costco hot dog meme
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And for that one moment, everything was perfect
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And then that moment ended.
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#I said goodnight like 6 posts ago I just can’t log off 😭😭😭#I HATE IT HERE#I feel like a deflated balloon#AND I HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT???????????#get fucked#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#vi#vi arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#isha arcane#vander arcane#warwick arcane
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Dancing with my deepest dark desires
#william afton#springtrap#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#beauart#i feel like hes actually a fucking parasite in my brain i actually cannot stop drawing him#my stupid autistic ass has to pick the most random muse and then suddenly draws more in a week than i have in months lord#i hate him BUT I LOVE HIM... BUT I HATE HIM... BUT I LOVE HIM#RAGH
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PSA 🗣️ another scammer using genAI without disclosing it
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pixlgirl has been posting generated AI (targeting fandoms) without disclosing it, passing it off as their genuine art and has apparently scammed at least one person into ‘commissioning’ them. this is a public PSA so yall can block them, and not interact. please do not harass them!
it’s incredibly shitty to be disingenuous while posting AI but even shittier to scam people with it 🤢 stay diligent yall
#i hate making ‘call out’ posts but kinda feel obligated since so many people have trouble spotting it#pixel art#pixelart#anti ai#i’ve been seeing them in the tags for a few weeks but saw they’re now scamming people so i thought id make a post#the animations they’ve posted are just filters on the AI lol#please don’t harass them#this is for those who don’t want to interact with AI#genAI#fuck genai#fuck ai#fuck ai art#zelda#pixel aesthetic#text post#these types of losers always just block me lol#art drama#drama#artist on tumblr
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a huge chunk of the pjo fandom has turned into such a superficial, judgemental and PROBLEMATIC group who defeat the purpose and point that the books were trying to make, it's so fucking atrocious. the prime example of mischaracterizing/reducing the value of characters who are already misunderstood/misjudged in canon. this fandom does this to every.single.character.ever omg
percy jackson is so relatable to many people is because he didn't have to capacity to absorb textbook knowledge but was HIGH on street smart knowledge that got him to succeed. the whole point of his character is that he had low self esteem because he was ridiculed at school by the faculty and the students for being a 'dumb' and 'useless' guy that made him think he's an inconvenience to his mom. the baggage he carried is so overlooked.
the fandom saying stuff like 'annabeth had adhd and dyslexia too but she carried percy' is so fucking disrespectful. one, she's an athena kid who's supposed to be smart that's like the whole point, and that does NOT mean percy wouldn't survive without her. he's a DIFFERENT character and he doesn't need to be a scholar to be a powerful demigod who has his own identity. stop belittling him and comparing all of their adhd/dyslexia struggles. just because annabeth is smarter does NOT mean percy has less value than her, and that whatever comes out of his mouth is just silly gibberish, which is exactly what y'all are trying to imply. no he did NOT get by with just "luck" he's smart and capable enough to actually achieve things. It isn't rocket science.
making jokes like his only purpose is to have a goofy personality and wondering how he 'pulled' annabeth is NOT cute whatsoever. just deprives him of his canon developement and fails to recognise him as an important person because he is not book smart. the level of belittlement. in a way rick also contributes to this character assassination because he added another scene of piper saying something along the lines of 'thank god annabeth is there to keep percy from going wild/doing something stupid' like no miss girl
I could go on about how the fandom infantilizes nico, brushes of hazel's flaws/traits because she's a 'smol' bean (when she literally cusses out octavian, why do y'all hate the idea of her being bold/badass when she literally is??) belittling frank's power because he's 'just an innocent goof', saying stuff like 'in my head leo is a tall guy because rick did him dirty with the height when he is so hot' that's basically implying that he loses his attractiveness because he's short and wanting to confine him into those toxic masculinity standards
slandering rachel and calling her a pick me for liking annabeth as though annabeth already had a claim over percy in BOTL when he wasn't even in a relationship and even had a small liking to rachel (belittling BOTH rachel and percy in the process, is percy not allowed to have feelings too? is he only obligated to like annabeth?), also with the fandom's clear misogyny in their treatment of nico liking percy vs rachel liking percy, go on a moral policing hunt when it comes to jason, piper and percy but goes right ahead to defend and glaze luke's behaviour to annabeth, percy and silena (also victim blaming silena because she was manipulated as a teenager by a fully grown adult who KNEW what he was doing, using her)
stubbornly not wanting to recognise jason as an important character and reducing him into a 'whiney pick me guy who wanted everything to be about himself' and that he's 'boring' not realising that his abusive environment both as a baby and as a teenager suppressed him into struggling and not being able to feel worthy to even have feelings of his own, villianizing and getting on pipers throat for calling percy unimpressive simply because she LOVED and was LOYAL to her then boyfriend?? is she not allowed to have a preference??? heck id be more concerned if she did call percy hot whilst being in a relationship wtf.
and DONT get me started on the grover belittlement and erasure please, saying that percy and grover are only annabeth's 'sidekicks' on quests, as though he wasn't capable to go on a hunt for pan all by HIMSELF not knowing he'll ever be back.
#y'all have issues mischaracterizing characters who are supposed to make us not feel ashamed of stuff defeating the whole fucking purpose.#and still cry when characters are written 'perfect' saying we need to more imperfect character representation#what a joke when y'all can't even handle flawed pjo characters that you feel the need to reduce the street smarts into 'clueless dumb kids'#this is sort of why I hate that one scene in moa/boo(?)#where it's mentioned that annabeth looks surprised at percy giving the team information like why was that necessary to be mentioned#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#pjo hoo#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#leo valdez#piper mclean#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#frank zhang#hazel levesque#hoo fandom#hoo#heroes of olympus
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you know I never realized that there is a distinct lack of megatron in your aus huh that explains a lot
Every time I even just mention him it immediately spawns hundreds of MegOp shippers and my notifs drown in Megatron discussions that ..I'm not really interested in.
Because like. People usually portray MegOp either like "Bad boy/shy uwu girlie" or "Old married couple". And I'm not the target audience for both of those options.
#I want my MegOp served with violence and hate and pain#that thing when you hate someone's BONES but still have to face the fact that this person is the one who saw sides of you no one ever saw#I vant them to slit each others throats and then have a really fucked up philosophical conversation while they slowly bleed out#laying on the ground covered in ash and energon#I want them to share these little moments#where one would look at another and immediately realize “oh no I can feel he's up to something”#just because of HOW WELL their rivalry made them know each other#I want Decepticons to be terrified of Optimus and Autobots be terrified of Megatron. I want them to fear for their lives#I want Optimus winning the battle and Megatron bowing his head in respect for his honest victory like a warrior he is#I want all if this#The excitement of having an equal rival. Thee deep deep hate for the idea that rival is defending.#The tiny little nod to each other before the final battle that will live only one of them alive#I don't want your anime romance tropes#I don't want them to be like an old married couple either
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
#ramble#this is not me judging by the way i think it's cool as fuck i just don't do it personally#context: a lot of my 'dream jobs' are now just 'ways to make money that i might not absolutely hate'#but i have one (1) legit dream job and it's literally FINGERTIPS away from me right now#i feel like most people who know me can guess what it is and know how badly i want it#i'm not even letting myself daydream about it or talk about it too much because i'm so afraid of not getting it and being disappointed#and also i don't want to like. jinx it#i've tried so many times before but this is the closest i've ever been and i feel SICK i want to bite something
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orym and dorian in c3 x 120: "the red end"
#critical role#criticalroleedit#critteredit#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#dorym#dorian x orym#dorian storm x orym#bells hells#cr3#campaign three#critical role campaign three#my gifs#DO NOT ASK ME THE WARS I WENT THROUGH...THE SACRIFICES I MADE...TO MAKE SURE THIS DAMN THING UPLOADED TO TUMBLR...#sighs tumblr why are you broken. why do you hate warmth.#this gifset was originally like....half the length it ended up being I found I needed to capture all the phases of robbie's terror.#one because same whenever orym is in danger. and two because. it just felt right. like dorian is feeling that agony through him too.#ANYWAYS. this was so crazy. this was so so so serious to me#angst scene so insane I have three different gifsets made based on it THE BOYS WERE GOING THROUGH IT#matt did not have to go that hard with the descriptions I was already dying#two self-sacrificial bad bitches with compartmentalization issues fall in love with each other.#the end result is them crying screaming throwing up when the other is in danger#all while they forgot to protect themselves. because all they want is to make sure the ones they love stay safe#(DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW YOU REFUSED TO HEAL YOURSELF BLUE BOY. DORIAN BRONTE SECONDSUN WYVERWIND STORM I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD)
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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free my boy from his own show he did nothing wrong
#they did him soo dirty wth and no one gaf about him at aaaal jentry started to being a dick i mean yeah sure understandable but the rest#of the cast?? they didnt interact with him but judge him as if he was the worst they didnt care to know him uug the show was okay there's#just things like this i didnt like at all i belive it was a wasted opportunity to befriend michael and stella with kit they would definitely#get along i also hated the fact jentry told stella kit wasnt a human when it is something sensitive for him she just came out him and showed#no remorse and faced no consequences that felt so out of character i swear😭 AND I ALSO DISLIKE michael and jentry as partners#it feels as if they are just trying to make their childhood crush real yknow i dont fucking see any intimacy between them besides their#first interactions i mean i dont ship jentry and kit but dude their emotional intimacy is deep they even kinda share the same vision of live#anyway go watch jcvtu so i can know what the sigma happens next i swear if kit doesnt revives i swear#myart#sketch#fanart#jcvtu#jentry chau vs the underworld#kit#kit jcvtu#okay so talking a lil about my sketch mmm i used that photo for the pose because there's no way ill break my head over it and well the thing#kit has in his hands is supposedly the thread he uses for his humans cosplays#if theres anyone reading this excuse my grammar is just that idc im having fun
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Why do they do this
#i hate hate hate HATE when people do this#asking you if you have a crush when you actuslly do and squeeing about it? cute and fun#but when i say ‘i dont like anyone here’ i mean ‘i dont like anyone here’ in THAT way#and its like. wh. they cant believe#that i dont like a single man from a group#like. yeah?? just bc People Exist doesnt mean im gonna crush on someone 100%??#why is it SO HARD FOR THEM TO BELIEVEEE UGHHH#i dont consider myself asexual but if someone does this again i might reconsider 😭#look lady my boyfriends are skeletons and robots. do you see any skeletons/robots in the group#no? thrn its 1% chance i Crush on someone#sorry its just so annoying when people do it orz#i dont like using the word bc it feels cring but p. normie behavior jjfrnjrfj#aka doodles#i trll them i dont like anyone but theyre like BUT WHOS YOUR TOP PICK#and take thst as yu trying ot hide your crush#fucking. no. i just dont#ok rant done jjffjvfnvf#something something heteronormative too much focus on romance thngy
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