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trulyhblue · 9 months ago

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Baby England (Part Three)

Jordan Nobbs x Young! Reader (platonic), Leah Williamson x Young! Reader (platonic), Lionesses x Young! Reader

warnings — angst fluff, coarse language, mentions of anxiety.

A/N — Baby England’s Back!!!!! Half of this was deleted and I wanted to cry so bad but here it is. And do I have a twist for you… didn't expect it to get this long, but I have to make up for the hiatus somehow xxx

Masterlist

___________________________

It was a few days before the Semi Final, and you were sat amongst a pile of paperwork.

lionesses

Liked by yourusername, alessiarusso99 and 43, 526 others

lionesses — semi final prep with baby England 💪🏻🙌🏼

Watch our clash with Sweden on the 27th @ Sheffield Stadium — 6pm GMT 🌟

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Comments:

yourusername — ❤️

*liked by lionesess

user1 — she is so adorable

^ user2 — she's so pookie.

georgiastanway — yeah the spiky hair

^ lionesses — stop bullying your little sis

^ georgiastanway — y/n get off the account

^ user5 — 💀

chelseawfc — love to see it 🙌🏼

^ user8 — UM WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

User67 — I NEED TO KNOW WHERE SHE’S SIGNING

^ user45 — apparently Man U want her

^ user9 — atp, EVERYONE wants her

^ user10 — imagine her in a barça jersey 😋

^ user 11 — gurl pls… imagine her at UNC 😍

User12 — I really hope she starts for this game

^ user13 — I doubt it, I think she’ll be a super sub

^ user25 — she started last match??? And she got potm… surely she starts again

^ user13 — 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

arsenalacademy — absolute gun(ner)

^ user7 — lets be honest, arsenal will NEVER let Y/N leave

^ user89 — she's a free agent after the euros. They technically cannot keep her if someone's willing to pay more for her

__________________________

You had been training pretty much every day, save for the week that had been dedicated fo media roles and interviews. You were switching between teammates for a while. One interview was with Leah and Beth, another with Alessia, Lotte, Georgia and Ella.

At training, the coaches worked the team tirelessly. You were struggling to keep a straight face when you were told to run laps before you were sent back to your rooms. A large part of your weariness was mental. It had been a day full of apprehension for the days to come. Making it so far into the Euros was an achievement in itself, but a home euro was something else.

You hadn't seen your family for weeks now, and you were starting to miss your childhood bedroom. Despite the long hours spent chipping away at school work, you missed your friends at home and your teammates back at Arsenal Academy. The Lionesses quickly became your favourite people in the work. Many of them were family to you. But the subtly of your dismay and expression of homesickness proved more and more apparent as the days went by.

This feeling was not to be mistaken with ungratefulness. Being apart of your National team was a dream come true. This was what you worked for, lived and breathed for. You had finally attained your dream — this was all you ever wanted. You were eternally grateful for the opportunity, the chance to bring football home. A home tournament was a once-in-a-lifetime possibility, and here you were experiencing it. Every day you woke up wanting to pinch yourself. This couldn't be real.

But school was pretty much impossible at a time like this. When all you wanted to do was kick a ball around, catch up on sleep, and actually socialise. You know, like every other one of your teammates. It seemed as if you were the only one encapsulated by the realm of education, despite many of the girls attending University. You weren't indifferent to your current situation. Being a student and playing in one of the biggest football tournaments in the world was going to be difficult. But you felt like spending quality time with your friends would do you well. You wanted to stop worrying about your stupid equations and do something worth your while.

You had been saying this since the Euros began.

In no way did you mean for it to change for the worse.

But the universe was not in your favour.

“You should choose what makes you happy.” Jordan soothed, milking out the same string of sentences you've heard all week. The two of you sat in a cafe not far from Sheffield Stadium, sipping away at your hot chocolates, having already finished your macaroons.

Your agent had sent you the multitude of contracts you had been offered from different clubs. Tomorrow, you were playing against Sweden in the Semi-finals. Sarina thought it’d be good if everyone had the day off before the havoc set in. You had spent the morning in your room, finishing off the rest of your History Essay. Jordan had picked you up not long after noon, bringing you away from the stress chipping you away.

“It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks,” The older woman held your hand, and you managed to feel her subtle squeeze.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Its not my—”

You cut her off, huffing in exasperation. “Jordan, please.”

Jordan’s face was impassive, a prominent knot creasing the space between her eyebrows. Her hair was flipped over one side, concealing the half of her face which she leant against her hand. She was struggling to find the words that had the capacity to encapsulate both truth and love — two things you needed to hear as you sat in the near-empty coffee shop. You wanted her to be honest, you thought. You needed her to tell it to you straight.

But this was Jordan you're asking. The kind, restful, reticent woman you had known forever — a woman while true to her word, could only speak subjectively, with emotion muddled into words. She was the personification of empathy. You loved that about her. But with your mind in a haze, despite your unrelenting apathy to stay independent, you really wanted to hear someone else’s opinion, for you had thought it over too many times to comprehend.

Your first option, of course, was Arsenal. It was your childhood club, your parent club, your home. For many years, it stood as everything you loved. You grew up watchings greats like Kelly Smith and Leah paving the way for your generation. You felt more at home at Arsenal than anywhere else. Though, it goes without saying that you haven't been anywhere else to compare it to.

And Leah would be hell-struck if you didn't choose Arsenal, even if she wouldn't directly admit it.

Spurs had taken interest in you since your youth ages when you had tried out for both North London teams at the ripe age of six. It just so happened that you chose Arsenal since it was closer to home, and you often wondered what it would've been like if you had chosen Tottenham instead.

United was next. A great club full of incredible talents like Ella Toone and Alessia Russo, two of your close friends when it came to International duties. The Manchester Reds were brilliant, tough competitors, but you never found much affiliation with them. Sure, they were amazing, but was it for you?

Lotte and Alessia both spoke to you about UNC, and you were definitely looking into playing there as a second alternative. You knew your parents thought this was the best option, but with the offers you were receiving, it wasn't at the top of your list.

You waited for Jordan’s response, already knowing her answer. There was one club you refused to think about. One club you couldn't set your mind to.

But the contract looked all too appealing.

“Chelsea.”

Three years — you’d be eighteen when it ends. Just shy of 250k a year, not including bonuses, increasing at a negotiable rate. You were a free agent after the Euros, and your contract with the Arsenal Academy was ending at the start of August. The Blues had a fantastic team and were worthy opponents for the cup title. You were guaranteed as a regular sub and promised to be looked after and rehabilitated to full strength if injuries occurred.

You hadn't thought over this option much during your senior debuts. It was pretty much embedded into you that you were a Gunner through and through. You had grown up playing against your London Rivals, and the team’s hatred only intensified as the game got stronger. It stood as a testament of its time.

But there was only one more thing that was stopping you.

“What about Leah?”

Jordan sighed. She knew Leah was a Gunner through and through. She knew that Leah saw herself in you — going through the academy, debuting at a young age. Choosing a pro contract was bound to happen to you the moment you were called up. No one even thought you’d gain minutes. But with Jordan’s injury, and your inevitable image, clubs were reeling in the prospect of a prodigy.

“This isn't her career, chook,” Jordan muttered, taking a sip of her drink. “Wherever you go, you have to take different things into account. Whether you’ll get minutes, if they value younger players as much as their originals, y’know, its a lot to think about.”

“You think I’ll get minutes?”

“Maybe not as much as Spurs, or North Carolina, but it's in the club’s reputation. They're known for their attack, and so are you.”

“I don't want to be the one to tell her.” You cringed. Leah was your older sister, in sorts. You valued her opinion over anyone else. To tell her you were transferring to her rival club felt like a slap in the face to all that she's done for you, not to mention you’d verse her in the League.

“Well, it’d be worse if she found out over the media.” Jordan quipped, through light to the situation.

“How would I bring that up?” You scoffed, hiding your face in your hoodie. “Hey, Leah, I know I've played for Arsenal forever, but I think I should just betray everyone and go to their biggest rivals. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Jordan shook her head. “She’d understand.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Would she?”

“I’d be livid at her if she wasn't,” Jordan spoke, her tone much sterner. You sat back in your chair. “It's not like you're signing a life-long contract with them, anyway. It's three years. Three years where you get to improve your skills and expand your career. Leah loves you too much to be angry at you for more than an hour. In fact, that woman has never been angry at you a day in her life.”

“I guess I’ll break that streak when I tell you.” you muttered, looking down at your empty cup.

“Stop that.” Jordan huffed, crossing her arms. “You've got two more weeks to figure it out. But let me tell you this. Arsenal will always be there for you. You don't need to stick with them for your whole career to know that they will happily welcome you back with welcoming arms. That goes for all the girls… including Leah.”

“Right.”

“And I’ll tell her that straight if she even thinks about doing anything otherwise.”

________________

yourusername

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yourusername — bit of life 💙

tagged — jordannobbs, maryearps1, and yourfriend

Comments:

jordannobbs — my daughters growing up too fast 😭

^ yourusername — thanks mama 💗

jordannobbs — look at you glowing 💙

^ yourusername — all you

jordannobbs — proud x

* liked by yourusername

user1 — I'm loving Jord’s spam! She's so proud of her 🥲

^ user2 — literally mother daughter goals

wosofan — this is the first time I haven't seen leah in a Baby Eng dump

^ user9 — omg ur right

user78 — loving the blue theme

^ user8 — are you thinking what I'm thinking

milliebright — beanie gal 🤭

^ yourusername — meanie

^ milliebright — you’ll get used to it

^ user8 — UM HELLO

samanthakerr — where’d you get that jumper from in the third photo?

^ yourusername — dunno

^ user98 — HOW DO THEY KNOW EACH OTHER????????

maryearps1 — caught me off guard with that

^ yourusername — you asked me to take the photo 😂

^ ellatoone — HA! Caught.

^ mearyearps1 — 😒

user89 — WHATS WITH THE BLUE

lionesess — our put together baby 🌟

* liked by yourusername

georgiastanway — i didnt need to see the bottom of your shoes

^ yourusername — you see them all the time in training 🤷‍♀️

^ georgiastanway — dont.

chelseawfc — matching attire?

^ user78 — HUH IM SO CONFUSED

^ wowwoso — WHY IS CHELSEA HERE

^ user6 — WHAT IS HAPPENING

________________

Sweat was beading across your forehead, the nerves of half time creeping up to the steady beat of your heart.

You hadn't told Leah about the decision you came to with Jordan. You had been so caught up in how she’d react, mixed with the stress of this upcoming game, that you weren't in any stable condition to go through with it.

In addition to that, you were still making your final decision, the finality of Chelsea not truly setting in.

Beth and Lucy had already sent the ball flying into the back of the net, and Sweden had yet to take a chance to extend their stay into the finals. You watched from the wing anxiously, threading the ball to the more experienced players, staying in the pipe ways as you did so.

You had started, which still came as a surprise to you since. Your game against Spain was still fresh in your mind. You wanted to stay consistent in your performance while also keeping up with the newfound intensity of the game, but something just wasn't clicking for you.

England was doing great, up by two goals by the second half. You had kept yourself distanced from the vigour, passing out when needed, mainly staying on the wing in order to keep as much distance from making more mistakes.

You had been pretty reckless with your passing. Obviously not too catastrophic, but enough to send winces across the crowd.

Your passes weren't sloppy, but they weren't precise either. You didn't leave much opportunity for the forwards and were starting to rely on your defence too much.

There was simply something about your gameplay today that didn't mould with the rest of the team. You didn't want to be subbed off. You wanted to make an impact.

But it just was not clicking.

Ellen had just been subbed off for Alessia, who was wiping her hands over her shorts, watching the ball tread through the outskirts of Sweden’s half. You could hear the crowd’s apprehension linger when you were passed the ball by Leah, using all your strength to peel away from Blackstenius.

Your first touch wasn't the greatest, and Stina was pressuring you out near the line. In every other game, you were known for your cool persona when encountering stress. You could collectively juggle the presence of a marker while dribbling the ball down the line onto a seeking prospect.

But as soon as the Swed’s studs hit your foot, you were sent to the ground. Hot flashes of pain sprung from your ankle. It was nothing that wouldn't surpass after a few moments whining about it on the ground.

Nonetheless, the whistle blew for a free kick, and Leah’s figure was knelt beside you in an instant.

“You alright, kid?”

Leah wasn't dumb. She knew that you had been ignoring her these past few days. You were distant, passive, and overall neglectful of her efforts to talk to you.

You would usually knock on her door after dinner to play some card games or help you with schoolwork. You would squeeze yourself next to her on the bus rides, and partner up with her at training.

Leah would pretend to be annoyed, and you would act all innocent like it was second nature — because that is what it was.

But you refused to meet her lingering eyes during meals and chose to partner with Millie any chance you got. You’d sit with Georgia at meals, and Jess Carter during Bus rides. Hell, even during free time, Jordan would pick you up and take you out, and she wasn't even on the team.

Leah knew something was up, and you knew that she had caught on. Jordan wouldn't tell her. And you hadn't spoken so much as three sentences to her for the past week. So it was no wonder that you were struggling. There was so much pent up tension in your shoulders, you looked so apprehensive.

Leah pulled you up by your shoulders, holding out her hand to stroke your face.

“You tell me you want to go off and I’ll find a sub for you.” Her words were harsh, but there was good intention behind it.

You gulped, shaking your head. Leah was watching your every move like a hawk. This was the perfect opportunity for her to ask you what was wrong. She could see that you needed to get something off your chest.

“I'm fine, keep me on.” You put it soundly, sighing as Leah brushed off the grass that was left on your jersey.

“Don't think that this is the end of the conversation.” Leah retorted, refusing to let your longest interaction in days go. “You’d be barmy if you think I’d let you get away with this easily.”

“I'm not Barmy, Lee. I'm fine.” You replied.

Leah could tell by your smile that she had hit the sweet spot. You were willing to play, the injury minuscule with its attempts to shake you. Your captain kissed the top of your forehead, bringing you into a quick hug.

“Alright then, Fine. Go on and take that free kick.”

You pushed past her lightly, the uncertainty lingering in your body slowly sinking into the grass with every step you took. Everyone had taken the time to huddle together as a team, moving back to their respective positions on the field after you had collected yourself up off the floor.

As the match continued, it was as if you had a fresh set of legs. Everyone got whiplash from your sudden switch of performance that not only enhanced your gameplay but the flow of the game altogether.

You became more involved in the game, passing into your central attackers, and sprinting down the wing to create more changes for a wider goal difference. Georgia and Keira gained more traction with your involvement, and it somehow paved the way for the defenders to find a more secure backline.

The next time you found yourself marked by Stina, who had apologised for your minor Collison, you were lightning on your feet. The pace you set was incredible, and the ball was yours for the taking.

You weaved past her and one of the midfielders, glancing up to see Georgia’s figure near the box. Without thinking, you propelled the ball over the heads of both teams.

Wincing when it passed Stanway, you felt your shoulders collapse. Russo wasn't ready for your explosive play, only just managing to retain the ball at her feet. You sighed, running your hands through your hair when Alessia’s attempt was blocked.

You were about to run back, ready for Sweden’s possession, when the crowd suddenly flung off their seats. You were a good fifty metres away from the rest, Alessia’s figure much harder to find among the number of players congregating by the goal. You noticed Lessi run out near the corner, holding out her arms with a winning smile. Georgia soon clambered over the top of her, patting her shoulder with a matching grin.

You looked up at the scoreboard, catching onto the replay from one of the cameras. From what you could see, Alessia had backheeled the ball past the defenders, leaving the goalkeeper stranded, the ball falling easily into the goal.

Even years later, people always find your late reaction funny. Many of your teammates had already congratulated you on the assist before it all clicked for you. It was rare for a team to be dominating this much in a semi-final, and you weren't quite sure how you managed to pull off what you had just done.

You found Alessia’s shoulders and pushed up on them, swinging your legs around her waist and hugging her from behind. She squealed, pushing you off.

“You're incredible, Russo, seriously.” You screamed, out of breath from the seventy minutes of nonstop running. Less grabbed your arm and spun you round. “All because of that brilliant assist, Baby England!”

You were on such a high for the rest of the game that nothing you did was fully comprehended. You had so much faith in the team that everything moulded with so much chemistry, it was second nature. Three Swedish substitutions meant that you were bound to be taken off any minute. Leah had been holding you accountable at the back while Beth was pushing your talents forward in the middle. You were sure that this was the most you had ever run in a match. Your cheeks were flushed, your muscles were surely overworked, but you were running with so much adrenaline that it didn't affect you.

England was on the home stretch now. Keeping both offence and defence strong, making sure Sweden wasn't offered any thrilling opportunity. You heard Keira shouting directions from the other side of the pitch. Georgia was passing short, timeless passes to you. Rachel had her arm outstretched, ready to propel forward if the ball was coming her way.

You knew that Georgia was just time-wasting now. You just needed to win now, the goal difference didn't matter. You felt someone’s presence up behind you, forcing you to cross the ball back to Leah since both Gee and Kie were covered. You had been staying in the middle and towards the back end of the pitch all game, so it was a surprise when you burst forward past Sweden’s second-last line of defence. Leah had kicked it over to Lucy, who hadn't seen you leave. Georgia took the ball, marking her opponent while searching for your unknown whereabouts.

The only person to have seen you was Beth, who called for the ball and received it a second later. With one, quick, first touch, Mead sent the ball flailing over the top, towards where you were waiting, just outside the box. One of the defenders had caught on, and the goalkeeper hadn't prepared herself for your sudden attack. You watched the ball hurl a few metres to you left, leaving you no choice but to chase after it in a rush. Almost everyone was twenty metres behind, unable to come to your aid. You held your own, forgetting the people around you, and jumped just as the ball met your head. You had no idea how close the goal was, or if your header was even near where your direction was intended.

You winced at the contact of someone in your side, groaning with your arms cradling your head. The impact of the ground winded you, sending you gasping for air. But the crowd’s booms at Sheffield was enough to leave you breathless.

You had scored.

People piled on top of you one by one, yelling all sorts as you struggled to realise what you had done. Everyone was rounded, cheering, standing. You could hear Georgia swearing, and Leah telling everyone to keep their head on. You listened to Alessia and Rachel cheering with each other, and Beth pulling you up by your shoulders. Everyone collapsed into a hug around you, making it difficult for anyone to catch onto your tears.

You loved this team too much to ever let this moment go. Your tears were mixed with the sweat of the game, coating your cheeks, exhaustion setting into your shoulders. Your breath had caught up to you, but the daze was expressed.

You looked out to the crowd when Ella ran on to replace you. Everyone was on their feet, clapping boisterously as you waved them off. It was a tedious feeling that you couldn't quite shake. There wasn't a single person there that made you feel like you hadn't tried your best.

Nothing in the world could beat this feeling.

***

The celebrations of England’s win set off as soon as the full-time whistle blew. Fans rose from their seats, players crowded the pitch. You found your figure running towards Leah, tears already streaming down your face at an embarrassing rate. Your cheeks were flushed, and your body fell limb against Leah’s chest, eloping the serenity of her embrace with quiet sobs.

She held you close and tight, combing her fingers through your hair, breathing in the electric atmosphere that infiltrated the stadium. She could hear you crying into her, and she tried hard not to cry herself. She held a protective arm around your shoulders, sheltering you from the public eye as best she could. Leah looked down at her armband, feeling proud of her nation, then glanced at you, and felt even more emotion than ever before.

Over the years, Leah would find herself falling more and more defensive of you. She wanted to shield you away from the inevitable hate. She watched you grow into a spectacular player, a brilliant teammate, and a beautiful girl. Everything you did was at the discretion of the older woman, and Leah came to realise that you were somewhat of a daughter to her.

She was a Captain of her country and club. She was an idol to thousands of girls across the globe. But she was everything to you as you were to her, and that was more than enough.

“Played so well, Y/N.” She whispered into your ear, leaning down so that you could hear her over the chants.

You glanced up at her with watery eyes, clinging onto the woman and grinning. “Love you, Lee.”

“Love you, too, my girl.”

The two of you stayed like that for a little longer. Millie eventually pulled Leah into her own embrace, and you were making rounds across the field, congratulating your teammates and celebrating with them too.

England fans still banked up the stands, holding out their pens, phones and jerseys. Some people gave you some friendship bracelets, others asked you to take photos. Everyone was reeling at the huge win.

You end up finding yourself nearing a full walk around the field, and nearing the loop, where fans were starting to disperse. The last fan was a little girl in a wheelchair, with dark brown curls and green eyes. She was a little younger than you, but it was easy to fall into a conversation with her. She congratulated you, you thanked her for coming. It was by the end of your interaction that you slipped your shirt off, bringing the girl into a tight, gracious hug.

Many of the girls were already celebrating in the changing rooms. Champagne would've already been distributed. You wanted to make sure the fans were all aware that you were very thankful they were there to watch your team play. This was your first major tournament, and people commended you for always staying back. Though you didn't do it for the praise.

“If it isn't the Baby herself.” You heard someone call from behind you, causing you to turn.

You found Lucy and Sarina standing side by side, sharing big victorious smiles wider than you had ever seen. Lucy had already ushered you into a bone-crushing embrace, guiding your head into her chest — her arms wrapped around your shoulders. Sarina patted you on the back, mumbling something about performance and outcome, before you fumbled your balance against Lucy’s figure.

What you hadn't noticed until then was the man who was standing with the two women. He was not old, but not young either. His hair was dark brown, and he had a stubby beard. His posture was neat, his coat crowding his figure tightly for no cool air to leak in. If it wasn't for the intensity of the game you had just played, you would've agreed to say it was cold. But you were sweaty, fatigued, and starting to feel the effects of a semi-final.

The man was sporting a civil grin, holding his hand out for you to shake. You were completely oblivious to who he was, unable to decipher his identity from any of his features or appearance. It was only when he spoke that you heard the trail of a Spanish accent seeping through his endeavoured English.

“You are a talent, young lady.” He commended. Your cheeks flushed at the compliment, shaking it off with a bashful smile. “I must say, you are one of a kind, truly. That header was spectacular. A goal and an assist? Incredible.”

“Thank you but I couldn't have done it without the others.” You mumbled, trying to remember Jordan’s advice to keep eye contact when you were speaking to an adult. “My first half was poor. I don't think I deserve the recognition when my opportunities weren't used wisely.”

“Oh, shut your mouth.” Lucy scoffed, ruffling your hair. “I can remember my first Euros. I definitely didn't score off a header from outside of the box, that's for sure.”

“You're the best defender, I know.” You replied hastily, trying to reiterate the fact that you were pretty much a forward, and it was expected that you were to score.

Lucy sighed, shaking her head. “Bet you wouldn't say that in front of Leah.”

“Oh, wait!” Your mouth fell slightly agape. “Don't tell her I said that.”

The three adults chuckled from around you, making your cheeks go a little more red.

“I must agree.” The man stepped forward, shoving his hands that were once crossed over his chest into his pockets. From there, you caught sight of the Barcelona emblem embedded in his jacket.

Your face must've given away your realisation. “You're Jonathan? Barca’s head coach?!”

Lucy laughed harder than before, looking at the two coaches with the click of her tongue. “I told ‘ya she wouldn't recognize him.”

“I am,” Jona replied. You shook his hand for the second time that night. “You seem to be surprised at that.”

“What? Oh! No, um.” You became a nervous wreck. “I just, oh my god, does that mean you know Alexia Putellas?”Despite your North London spirit, there was no doubt that there was a fangirl within you at the knowledge of the Spanish team. You had grown up with the greats in Barca, and almost everyone in the England squad knew of your explicit crush on a certain Spanish captain, who just so happened to play for Barca.

“I mean, she is the captain, so you’d hope so.” Jona chuckled. “In fact, I was talking to her just a few hours ago. We were discussing the transfer season and some new contracts coming up.”

You instantly looked up at Lucy, who rolled her eyes at your oblivion. Sarina shook her head, glancing at you knowingly while Jona sighed in deliberation.

“I'm sure you have mulled over some of the offers you have been given from some of the clubs, no? I heard from somewhere that Chelsea are outbidding Arsenal.”

“Oh.” The thought of a professional contract, and making a denounced decision was long a foreign concept to you at that moment. You were presented with the complexity of the question, and could only shrug in response.

Jona reciprocated your affliction. “It is always a tough decision to make. But you have a very bright career in front of you. Everyone is expecting great, great things.”

“I'm tossing up between Arsenal and Chelsea.” You admitted. “They are my best offers.”

“You think so?” Jona looked complex, his eyebrows rising. When you nodded, he tutted, his head low. “Sarina and I were just questioning the fee being offered�� or lack thereof.”

Your back straightened. “What do you mean?”

“300k for a three-year contract is hardly reasonable for a player like you.” He stated, rolling his sleeves up with a grin. Lucy and Sarina were in quiet conversation to the side, still active in what you were discussing but in their exclusive bubble.

“If I were to put in my bid, it’d be at least 800 thousand.” He continued. Your eyes nearly budged out of their sockets, unable to reply. “But it’d end up being just short of a million with the transfer fee.”

“My academy contract ends in two weeks.” The money Jona had just described was unattainable from your perception. “I'm just glad I got the offers in the first place. Your bid is too generous.”

There was no way you, a youth player, and academy girl who wasn't even had a club debut, was expected to be worth that much. He must've been pulling your leg, taking the piss like Tooney often did. It was not in the slightest chance that you began to unravel the weight of Jona’s words, and his intention behind the conversation you were just having.

“Are you saying you wouldn't accept it?” He asked.

You were so fucking dumbfounded that you started to laugh.

“You could offer me a job for nothing and I would take it.” There was a joking tone behind your statement, but you knew that there was an entire truth planted within your declaration. “Not that you would, but yeah, of course I would. The only thing I’d contemplate is learning the language.”

“I can get you a tutor.” He responded. “And the girls are lovely.”

You swooned just at the thought of the Barcelona team. “You're just being mean now.”

Jonathon looked at you in confusion. Lucy had overheard the last of your conversation, with Sarina off to find someone else. She scoffed, finding your idiocy a painful trait of yours. You glanced between the two of them, waiting for them to continue the blasted joke of you joining the best team in the world. You waited for them to ask you how Chelsea Blue was going to look on you, of if Academy was where you wanted to stay. Hell, you were expecting them to ask when you were moving into your own apartment due to the absurdity of Jona’s hypothetical posing.

But they stood there looking at you in silence. They were waiting for you to catch on.

And you did. Even if it was after several long moments of pause and silence. Even if you had dropped your jaw to the floor in utter shock, simply not believing that what was happening was actually happening. The thought of playing for a single minute was eradicated from your mind, instead replaced with a newfound excitement that left you jumping up and down.

There was no way, you thought. Nothing could've prepared you for this.

All thoughts of Chelsea, of Arsenal, were gone. Letting the news transfer to Leah was a distant memory.

You were no longer hesitating about what anyone else thought about where you would go. There was not an ounce of regret in your body that screamed out to you, telling you to think this over for even a second. You were not want to wait, to talk, to act, you were just waiting for this all to be a dream.

You knew that this was an inevitable choice. A feeling so right, so just, full of hope and solidarity, clung to you as you shook Jona’s hand yet again. Not filling registering his words, skimming over the implications of it all, aimlessly giving him your Agent’s number. It was all a blur from there.

It did not matter the money that went into the contract, or the financial gain that would equip you throughout the three years you were about to live in Barcelona. Nothing else mattered except the smile on your face, and the righteousness in your chest.

With the win of your National Team, you home, and the club you were bound towards, there was nothing stopping the bounce in your stride.

_________________

arsenalacademy

liked by babyengland, milliebright, and 207,367 others

arsenalacademy — After a standout performance in the Euros so far, Arsenal Academy Star, and England’s youngest, Baby England has signed a record-breaking fee of $3 Million, for a three-year contract with reigning Champions, Barcelona FC.

“I'm excited for this new opportunity. The Euros are massive, and winning with the girls against Sweden was a privilege I still can't put into words…

I have to thank Arsenal for making me the player I am, because they have taught me so many things, and I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for them.

I also want to thank Jordan, Leah, and all the Lionesses for helping me with this. They have always wanted the best for me, and I couldn't have done it without them.”

The fifteen-year-old will begin training with the Spainish Team for the 22/23 season effective immediately.

Congratulations on this new chapter!

Tagged: yourusername

Comments:

soccerdonna — New Update: Chelsea had outbid Arsenal by $150k, and Barca by an extra 200k, as well as an increase in salary, which is negotiable.

User7 — I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA ANNOUNCE IT AFTER THE EUROS

^ user8 — WHEN HAS MY GIRL HAD TIME FOR THIS

^ user112 — FR MY GIRL’S FIFTEEN, A STUDENT, A FULL TIME ATHLETE, AND A BABYGIRL LIKE PLS

User5 — JONATAN WAS AT THE GAMES AGAINST SPAIN AND SWEDEN!!!! MAYBE THATS WHEN

^ user90 — THAT’S SO SOON THO HOW COULD HE HAVE DONE IT

ingridengen — welcome 🩷

*liked by yourusername

racheldaly — no villa talk 🤣 see you on the pitch soon chook 🩷

^ yourusername — thank you Rach 🙃

user6 — FIRST LUCY AND NOW BABY ENGLAND! WHO’S NEXT, KEIRA????

alessiarusso — big things!!!! proud of you like crazy 🙌🏼

^ yourusername — love you lessi bear 🧸

user1 — are you fucking kidding me? ARSENAL WHY DIDNT YOU KEEP HERRRRR

^ user67 — THE FACT THAT THEY WERE ONE OF THE LOWEST BIDDERS UGH

alexiaputellas — Bienvenido, guapa!

^ yourusername — omg ily

^ user77 — shes so real

user23 — I'm in mourning.

user8 — WHAT ABOUT LEAH

^ user4 — AND JORDAN

^ user7 — SHE WAS OUR ARSENAL BABY

jordannobbs — big things coming! So proud of you! 💙❤️

* liked by yourusername

user37 — the fact that we all thought she was going to chelsea

^ user27 — she really had us all fooled

leahwilliamson — smash it, my girl!

^ yourusername — love you lee 🤍

^ user78 — screaming into my pillow I cannot deal with this hurt.

^ user99 — I need to know if she told Leah before or after she signed 😭

^ user12 — the edits about to go crazy

^ user8 — “let's not forget, that no matter where she goes, Baby England will always be Arsenal.”

barcelonafemeni — Stargirl 🌟

^ user4 — you don't deserve her.

^ user90 — SALT IN THE WOUND

^ user3 — Idk about the rest of you, but I cannot wait to see her in the home jersey

^ user6 — ur the only one.

Lionesses — baby england growing up too fast 🥲

user5 — I'm still so confused on how she signed a contract in the middle of the fucking euros

^ user64 — it practically meant that Barca would've not only had to pay her the contract, but also pay Arsenal a transfer fee

^ user65 — I might be crazy but wouldn't that make her the most expensive transfer? With both the transfer money and the contract

^ user5 — it adds up to be just under $1 million 😀

georgiastanway — congratulations!!!!!!

^ yourusername — thanks gee!

ellatoone — you would've looked better in Manchester 😒

^ ellatoone — jkjk look at youuuuu 🩷

*liked by yourusername

____________________

A/N — HA! You thought she’d go to Chelsea… yeah right. Hope you enjoyed!

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ohisms · 4 months ago

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✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 ! ( a collection of sentence starters from season 1 of nbc's “ good girls ”. adjust phrasing as necessary . will be updated in the future . mature themes are present . )

specificity is good , but that's over the top .

chill , i'm like two minutes late .

alright , everybody be cool and nobody gets hurt .

do you think i could make it in L.A. ?

i don't need all that . i just want to be super famous .

you know , i'm just not really much of a church person .

maybe next time you'll take security more seriously .

oh my god , can you please just listen to me for one damn minute ?!

shame on you . shame on all of you .

move it before i shoot your face off , let's go !

you should probably get yourself a lawyer .

why is it so crazy ? i mean , it's a victimless crime .

can't you have my back on one thing , ever ?

this is me helping you not ruin your life .

damn . that was a good sell .

i should have been more careful , i panicked .

no ! i mean ... i don't know . maybe .

we're gonna rob that store .

have you lost your mind ?

we can't sit back and let everything be taken away from us .

no one's gonna fix this . we have to do it ourselves .

[ name ] ... hello ? are you okay in there ?

how did you have the money for all of this ?

i'm here to clean up a mess , [ name ] .

it's not a knock , we all have our strengths and weaknesses . you're a beautiful dummy . it doesn't make you a bad person .

this is five grand . enough for a plane ticket , and to get you started .

i guess you won't mind if i go to the cops , then . right ?

i handled it because you couldn't .

you've got a little ... on your face , kind of looks like blood .

what am i looking at right now ? WHAT am i even looking at right now ?

[ name ] , this is life or death .

i choose death . GIVE ME DEATH .

i have ... sort of a favor to ask .

it's not like you can't afford it .

what do you need that much money for ?

thank you for making me completely humiliate myself for no reason .

this is what winning feels like .

i'm gonna need you to say it with me . we are winning .

it's not like you're gonna kill me .

you don't have the guts . you're not killers .

thought you'd pull a fast one , huh ? make a quick buck ?

girls like you , you never think things through .

you've done this your whole life . you make these big messes and expect everyone else to clean it up . then you just ignore it .

you can't leave me here forever .

you are an incredible liar .

when bad things happen to good people , everyone goes crazy .

if it could happen to us , it could happen to anyone .

roll the dice . tell them to pull the trigger . see what happens .

hey , looks like we've got a survivor .

i am going the speed limit . i don't wanna get a ticket .

where does he think he's going ? boy , this is hard to watch .

if you go to the cops , so will i .

i thought we were done with this .

oh ! you'd rather just declare a kilo at customs ?

– or we could just steal it .

are you hearing yourself right now ?

do not call me crazy .

what if we get caught ?

there's always a choice .

dude , it's never gonna end . unless we end it .

i'm not gonna shoot him , i'm just gonna scare him a little !

forgive me lord jesus , i did not mean to shoot that man .

are we supposed to knock or something ?

i wanted my music for the road trip .

how long has it been bleeding like this ?

i need to take you to the hospital , i think you need stitches .

i wish everything could go back to the way it was .

i had no damn idea how good i had it until it was gone .

i know you hate me right now .

i'm sorry . i suck .

i had to do something really , really important .

what's more important than me ?

is there something you want to ask me ?

just making conversation .

you know the tradition is jordans over a phone line , right ?

be outside in two minutes or you're dead , i mean it .

it's so crazy , even saying it .

you asked for this ? you ASKED for this ?

you can't sign people up for criminal activity like it's a bake sale !

that is NOT what i meant when i said i'd do another job .

so you think you get to pick and choose what you do and when you wanna do it ?

no , i'm sorry . that is not gonna work .

what's your gut say ?

i can prove it ! i mean i can't ... but i want to .

why should i apologize ?

chill out with the cayenne .

maybe we need like , smelling salts or something .

well , i want him to not die in my house .

i am so tired of almost dying .

hey ! ... don't be mad .

you're a dead man .

shut up , just don't say anything . i will handle it .

just say you're sorry .

i wanted to do something nice , so that maybe we could start fresh .

i'm not proud of my part in everything .

oh , yeah ? what does that mean ?

#rp meme #inbox prompts #rp inbox prompt #ohisms #good girls rp meme

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iliiuan · 2 years ago

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I can tell you that personally, Faile is a spoiled brat until she escapes the Shaido. I really don't like how she bullies Perrin and makes very little effort at first to try to understand things from his POV. All of that said, she does grow up. And then she's glorious.

Regarding Berelain, the only thing I dislike about her is her bizarre stalking of Perrin. Everything else she does is fabulous, spectacular, just absolutely brilliant.

As for Perrin, he starts out amazing and then... gets stuck. He has awesome wolf powers that he refuses to embrace. He hyper focuses on Faile after his family dies, and while it's understandable/realistic, it's really boring to read. He also gets ignored for entire books, I think more than any of the other EF5. Jordan doesn't bother to train him in the wolf dream, which is just a weird oversight. IDK. His character gets stale, and it's frustrating because he starts out with so much potential and then just gets squandered.

But I agree 💯 that Perrin shouldn't be blamed for Berelain stalking him, for Faile having crazy jealousy, and for becoming skittish about the entire situation, thus causing a feedback loop of awful. Berelain is the one to blame, really, for not accepting his no, but even then, she really was just playing a game and didn't realize that everyone else was taking it seriously. Which is weird, because she's good at reading people. So probably the person to blame is actually Robert Jordan. Or maybe his wife editor.

I love Faile and Berelain, completely. I don't understand half the hate Faile gets and I love the almost against type character Berelain has. With that being said I'm wondering why, in the fandom here, Perrin gets hate over the Faile-Perrin-Berelain debacle. Isn't he the one getting stalked? And abused on account of it? (LoC ch.50) Even though Faile says, herself that she knows he's not doing anything. Isn't that, in a way, victim shaming? I've seen posts saying they could fight over someone more interesting (does one need to be interesting to be stalked??) Or they should just be together (maybe do so they can stop stalking and abusing Perrin maybe?). But why is Perrin getting the hate when he didn't even do anything? I'm not saying to love Perrin (alThough does anyone know why hes so hated?) But im wondering why hes the one put at fault?

#the wheel fo time #wot spoilers #perrin aybara #berelain sur paendrag #faile bashere #robert jordan

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nothingelsetobe · 10 months ago

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Palestinian Infant starved to death under Israeli siege in Gaza

Please watch and reblog. Also spread around the tag "airdropaidforgaza". Countries (like france and jordan) have air dropped aid in North Gaza due to the spreading of awareness!! So keep on and don't stop spreading and sharing!

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ilovebuckers5 · 11 months ago

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✧.*Not Friends pt 1*.✧

Paige Bueckers x reader

summary- Paige has a new secret admirer that she can't help but love.

word count- 2.2k

themes:

-drinking

-slight angst ig?

A/N- I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS FIC BRO. i have really high hopes for this so I'm praying that people enjoy it. I'm gonna try and make a masterlist soon so that its easy to find the different parts to this but we'll see. (i did not spell check btw m lazy)

I usually wasn't head over heels easily but it was very hard to not fall in love with the girl everyone wanted. Especially when you see her at the same party everyone said she wouldn't be at.

It was a couple months after i transferred to UConn and i had already gotten super close with some the girls off of the volleyball team and this girl Nika, who was on the basketball team.

It was a late night after one of Nika's games and she invited me back to her place that she shared with her team. Of course I said yes i mean Nika was practically my best friend. But this was going to be the first time that i meet her entire team other than Azzi and Inês.

While Nika was introducing me to the girls on the team i couldn't help but stare at a certain blonde that was lurking in the corner. Nika held onto my wrist and led me to her.

"Paaigeee, this is the new transfer!" Nika introduced me to the now more noticeably tall blonde.

"Hey i'm Paige" her attention was now on me. The way she held eye contact almost made me fold right on the spot. Her eyes were making me come out so hard i didn't even notice that she was holding her hand out for me to shake.

That night, Nika was going out with everyone to celebrate theyre win and everyone was begging me to at least tag along. Before i could think of an answer i pulled nika to the side and yanked her closer to me.

"Nika i cannot go with tonight. I think i like paige" Nikas eyes widened at my confession. "I don't think i'll be able to go to any parties if she'll be there. you know what'll end up happening if i get drunk around someone i have feelings for"

Nika may not have known me for long but she knew me long enough for me to tell her about what happened with my ex boyfriend at my old college. For a quick summary, i got drunk at a party while i was with my current boyfriend and there was a girl that my eyes couldn't stop staring at. We danced, we made out blah blah blah one thing led to another. My boyfriend dumped me and may have told the college that i was drinking underage so i got kicked out! anyways fuck him i needed to stay away from Paige if she was in the same room as alcohol if i wanted to keep my sanity and reputation clean.

Every time the girls went out i would want to go with but of course i had to ask if Paige would be there. Yes maybe i was taking things a little far but i didn't want anything crazy to happen and ruin my chances with her.

I was resting on my bed when someone knocked on my door. It was a Monday night and i was alone in my dorm so i it would be absurd for someone to come over this late at night. I stood up and opened the door to see Azzi Fudd, Paige's best friend, standing in front of me.

"K I'm gonna make this really quick cause i have to go soon, but don't be mad at Nika or anything Ok?" Azzi said with an enormous about of speed in her words.

I nodded before she continued on.

"Nika told me about the whole situation with Paige and she really wants you to come to the party tonight and Paige wont be there so could you get ready and go with please?"

I was a bit caught off guard, not mad but shocked. It only took me a couple seconds to decide that i would go.

"Sure ill go." i say dragging out my words with annoyance. I shut the door and Azzi leaves. As soon as she left, I started picking out an outfit and putting on some light but noticeable makeup.

Once i was ready, my hair was thrown into a messy sort of no effort but with effort look. I tossed on my jordans along with a tank top and some baggy jeans before leaving my dorm and pulling out my phone for directions.

I unlocked my car and headed towards the address, which was thankfully only 6 minutes away. After i pulled into the driveway i called Nika to let her know that i was there. She quickly ran out of the party and ran up to me. Her arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly. I laughed a bit at her, clearly tipsy, hug. Finally after she let go of me she grabbed me by the waist and dragged me in. The first thing i could notice were the flashing light and loud music that was playing.

A sick feeling grew upon my stomach seeing and hearing everyone be so comfortable. I knew that it would be hard to go to a party with this many people and this much energy after so long but not this hard. Nika tugged on my waist trying to bring some sense of comfort for me. I quickly forced a smile on my lips and took the drink that was being shoved in my face by Aaliyah. Instead of dancing with most of the girls i decided to sit down at the booth that Caroline and Ice were sitting at. Caroline's mouth shaped into a soft smile as she patted the leather next to her, gesturing for me to sit next to her and Ice. I quickly sat myself next to the girls and tried to start small talk.

I noticed them glancing at each other while the three of us talked. It felt sort of like they felt off about me. I clenched my palms together under the table and blinked for longer periods of time. A deep sigh escaped my lips as they're conversation trailed off onto they're own topic. I quickly took down my drink and set he cup down before leaving the booth to find Nika.

"Nika? Can i go home?" i tried talking to Nika but she was too out of it to even process tat i was next to her. I took a couple more panicked breaths and walked around for a little searching for some other girl to give me a ride until i felt a strong grip against my hips. I didn't even care who it was but i knew they were trying to get something out of me and they weren't getting that.

My hands quickly pushed the hands off of my hips before i turned around to find a random girl standing above me. I thought she looked familiar but i couldn't tell who she was.

"I missed you" she whispered to me, loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough to be hidden by the music.

what. the. fuck. who on earth is this girl? a confused expression was plastered on my face as i slowly backed away. still trying to forget about whatever that was, i made my way back over to Nika and continued to stay with her until i saw Caroline calling me back over to the booth.

"Hey, I got someone to come over and pick you up so don't worry about getting a ride from one of us. your gonna be fine Ok?" She could tell that i was stressed out. She helped me take a couple breaths before i even realized that she probably called someone that was a complete stranger to me. My breath began to pick up a bit more until she pointed to the door.

"Oh there she is." her hand was pointing to the direction of the same basketball player i did not want to be under the influence with. Paige Bueckers. My eyes widened at the sight of her tall figure. I tried to convince myself that Caroline was not pointing to the blonde that i was slowly falling in love with. I took a couple breaths and gave Caroline a quick 'thanks' glance and stood up. There were already a couple drinks in my system so i stumbled a bit walking over to Paige.

"You good there?" she held her arm out for me to grab onto. We walked back out to her car and she helped me in. i tried to stay quiet for the drive but i couldn't resist from making a little bit of conversation.

"so....why did Caroline call you to pick me up? we barely know each other" Paige kept her eyes on the road but it felt like everything was still.

"i don't know ask Caroline? i guess i was just the only person that wasn't drunk ya know?" she laughed a little then turns her head towards me for a second. I set down my purse on the floor of her car. I glance to the side and find a pair of lashes.

I made not have know Paige very well but i knew for a fact that she is not the girl to wear fake lashes. Which meant there was probably another girl in her car. It could've been recent or she could've just forgot about it before. Either way i started to think that i had a chance with her.

It was silent for a little bit until Paige turned on some music. It sounded like The Weeknd but i honestly couldn't tell the difference between the music and the conclusions i was jumping to in my head.

As the music filled up all the silence that was in the car i tried to distract myself by counting every time Abel said 'yeah' in one of his songs. Next thing i knew i was day dreaming about Paige while she was right next to me. The image of her making moves on me couldn't get out of my head. That's when i realized that we were finally at our destination. Except it wasn't the college campus. It was her apartment that she shared with the entire team. As far as i knew, the whole team was at the party so the entire apartment was empty until me and Paige walked in.

The entire place was pretty much clean except for a couple dishes and papers here and there. the only other time I've been in here was to meet the entire team and now here i was alone with the one girl i wanted to kiss since i met her. A couple chills ran down my spine as Paige tapped my back to get me to walk through the door. I guess i couldn't notice that i was just standing int he doorway staring at the living room.

The blonde put her keys on a little hook that was attached to the wall. I carried my purse around not knowing where to sit. I really thought i was being taken back to my own dorm. Guess not. Paige put a couple dishes in the sink to try and clean up a bit. As i stood there obliviously, she went down the hallway into her own room that im guessing she shared with Azzi.

"You coming?" paige called out from the hallway. I quickly rushed to her and went into her room. It was honestly messy but i kinda liked that she wasnt a clean freak. She sat down on her bed and kicked off her shoes. I couldnt help but stare at her features. Her blazing eyes. The way her nose hooked up. Her cheeks which were flushed with a light pink color, but i think thats because it was so hot in the car. And her lips were a brighter pink color. God how i wanted her lips against mine. It was hard to pull my eyes off her but when we looked at mine i quickly looked away.

Paige chuckled and leaned back on her bed. "come sit down" she motioned her hand next to her. I sat down on the empty space beside her. This was so awkward. I felt so out of place like Paige was forced to have me there. As i kept getting lost in my feelings i felt her hand push against my chest, dragging me to lay down in the same position as her. A gasp escaped my lips as she pushed me down but i kind of liked it. Now that we were right next to each other i felt a bit better and more comfortable.

There was only silence for a little while before Paige broke it. "do you like me?" It went silent again. I couldn't even process an answer let alone a reaction.

"what?no why would you think that?what?" i panicked and sat up quickly looking down at her. there was a smirk on her lips as she watched me panic. i guess i was making it obvious then.

Paige laughed a little and held onto my shoulder, pushing me down on the bed again. "its fine i swear. just try to keep this a secret k?" what did she mean by that?

I nodded and turned away to face the wall. "hey." Paige said softly. i turned back around to find her lips on mine.

#lesbian #paige bueckers #wbb #uconnwbb #uconhuskies #paige #basketball #angst #paigexreader #paigebueckersxreader

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gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath · 3 months ago

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CHAT IM GOING TO SEE THE GREAT GATSBY ON BROADWAY FOR MY BIRTHDAY/CHRISTMAS HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS IM GOING TO SEE JEREMY JORDAN AND EVA NOBLEZADA LIVE AND IN FRONT OF MY OWN REAL EYES THIS IS SO FUCKING INSANE HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING EXCITED IM FOING IN NOVEMBER HOLYYYY FUCKKK‼️‼️‼️‼️

#jeremy jordan #eva noblezada #the great gatsby musical #broadway #I’m actually so hyped rn #thankful my parents understand my love for theatre and the actors who are in this show‼️🙏

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animatedjen · 6 months ago

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Question for ya (if you happen to know) - so Cere gave Cal her lightsaber hilt in jfo and he used it to make a split saber but in Jedi survivor she suddenly has one again when fighting Darth Vader. Where'd she get it from? Was it Cordova's? And if not when did she get a new lightsaber?

Good question - we don't actually know. Sometime between the two games Cere built/found a new lightsaber, but (as far as I'm aware) none of the databank entries or side conversations explain its origin.

But this question made me curious about Cere and Cordova's lightsabers, so here's a longer answer with my own ideas:

[Dark Temple Series: cover art by Marco Checchetto, Paolo Villanelli, and Will Sliney]

In the cover art for the miniseries Dark Temple, Cere uses her original saber with its green kyber, but Cordova's saber design doesn't match what we see in Fallen Order. So at some point after these comics, Cordova creates/updates his saber and engraves the Zeffo iconography on its switch.

[Eno Cordova's Fallen Order lightsaber: design by Amy Fry]

This design can be seen briefly in Survivor when you find the saber in Wayfarer's Tomb. And while we don't see it during the game's final cutscene, Cal possibly buries the saber with Cordova after the pyre. But the balance between game mechanics (new customization options from a chest!) and narrative details (didn't Cal already find Cordova's saber in FO?) makes a "canon" answer more challenging.

Cere's first lightsaber had specific design requirements because of its story purpose. Jordan Lamarre-Wan explains the hilt is proportionally shorter so it fits the broken section of Jaro Tapal's staff after Cal combines them. We also know the kyber is gone - Cere sold it to pay off Greez' gambling debts and continue their mission.

Cal might've returned the hilt to Cere after fully restoring his master's saber, or maybe pieces of Cere's saber are still inside. Maybe Cere chose not to use it again or simply wanted Cal to keep it.

In her concept art for Survivor, Theo Stylianides does show Cere holding this first saber and its green kyber, but these illustrations were likely made before the sequel's saber designs were finalized.

(Do I wish she had a green saber in Survivor though? Yeah, I do. Is it possible she was given blue for the aesthetic of blue vs red while fighting Vader? Maybe.)

[Cere's second saber: model by Aaron Fowler]

Cere's new saber, according to Aaron Fowler, is heavily inspired by the "Boone Kestis" concept created by Gus Mendonca in the early development of Fallen Order. The rugged, more utilitarian style matches well with her new role among the Anchorites. Survivor doesn't tell us where the lightsaber came from, but on a planet like Jedha, it's possible she found it or was gifted it while helping create the Archive.

I also think, practically, Cere's first saber would have been difficult to adapt to the new customization options in Survivor. Its small hilt and proportions would've required more alterations to fit the expanded saber components at the workbench. I miss the marble-like textures and woven grip, but I'm glad Cere was allowed to grow and change between games, and her new lightsaber reflects her new identity as both a Jedi and a protector of knowledge.

#thanks for the ask!#help i have feelings about lightsaber symbolism again #jedi survivor #jedi survivor spoilers #cere junda #eno cordova #asks

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onas-batlle · 11 months ago

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Secret Moments In a Crowded Room (p. 1 of 5)

pairing: lucy bronze x ona batlle

warnings: excessive comma use, bad writing, and unresolved sexual tension

synopsis: four times Lucy and Ona almost kiss, and the one time they do.

a/n: currently editing part 2, so figured i’d post this so everyone is up to date lol ❤️

Ao3 Link

———

She was intoxicating. That was the only word that Lucy could use to describe the woman who was grinning up at her in that moment, cheeks dimpling and caramel eyes sparkling in the low lights.

This new predicament had only been brought about mere hours ago, Ona catching the eye of the English defender as she stood up as a bridesmaid next to Lucy Staniforth at the altar. It had just been a visual sweep of the crowd, Lucy simply trying to gauge who was there and who would be willing to mope around with her and her litre of beer. She had only recently gone through a breakup, and now had to attend a ceremony that celebrated someone else’s success in what she had just failed at, so drowning herself in alcohol seemed like the fair thing to do.

So, she wasn’t expecting for her eye to catch onto a certain woman as she ran her eyes over the Manchester United players seated in the crowd. There was just something about her that instantly stole the breath away from Lucy’s lungs, not just her physical beauty, with her sprinkles of freckles and perfectly curved nose, but an unidentifiable trait that seemed to encompass her entire being and had Lucy desperately wanting to gravitate in her direction.

She knew who Ona was, of course. She wasn’t that ignorant. They had sparred on the pitch multiple times for club and country despite them both being right-backs for their respective teams, and the young Spaniard was an incredibly talented player which had not gone unnoticed by Lucy.

But she felt as though she hadn’t truly seen her until that moment.

She supposed that it wasn’t a bad thing to have not discovered her attraction to the Spaniard sooner; she had been in a relationship until a mere month or two ago and Lucy was no cheater, but a small traitorous part of her longed to have been exposed to this captivating woman much sooner than she had.

As she wracked her brain for memories of any previous encounters with Ona outside of play, she came up mostly blank, save for a brief moment when the Manchester United player had offered her congratulations after City won the derby, with Lucy responding to the compliment with a distracted smile and a brief pat on the shoulder. There were no proper interactions after that, which she supposed was only through the fault of her own. It was a two-way street after all.

As she continued to observe the Spanish woman who was wiping her tears at the beautiful words being spoken up at the altar, she noticed Alessia and Ella looking in her direction and wiggling their eyebrows at her. The little shits.

Unable to flip them the bird-like she desperately wanted to, she settled on simply narrowing her eyes at them, and was mildly horrified when they smirked at her before nudging Ona in the side and whispering something in her ear.

She could only watch on as the Spaniard turned her gaze to Lucy and met her eyes, directing an awkwardly soft smile in her direction. In a sudden burst of confidence, Lucy sent back a cheeky wink, and her smile widened at the bright flush that spread over Ona’s cheeks.

They continued to look at each other for a few subsequent minutes until Jordan pinched Lucy’s elbow and darted her eyes in the direction of the brides who were about to say their vows. Lucy refocused her attention back on her close friend, but the thought of the Spanish woman still lingered in her mind.

The rest of the ceremony passed rather quickly, and several times Lucy had to blink away tears that threatened to spill. The Lucys had been friends since childhood, and to see her best mate so irrevocably happy in that moment caused Lucy’s heart to swell fondly. She too wanted that very happiness for herself. Once the brides had finally kissed to symbolise their official union and made their way out of the church, everyone else followed to go to the reception.

Lucy immediately made a beeline for the bar, Jordan in tow, and ordered a shot of tequila which she promptly downed. The little bit of liquor in her system was enough for her to relax a bit, slumping a little on the stool that she was perched on.

“Someone catch your eye during the ceremony, huh?” came Jordan’s teasing lilt, her matching grin spread across her face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Lucy replied, cheeks reddening at the thought of being caught, and she cleared her throat awkwardly before taking a sip of her drink.

Jordan let out a knowing hum, and Lucy could see her friend debating whether or not to call her out on her lie. Jordan’s nosiness eventually won out, and she fixed Lucy with a glare.

“Go on, spill. I saw you making eyes at Ona Batlle, and in my honest opinion, that’s pretty healthy. I mean Keira has already moved on, why shouldn’t you?”

She said the last part in a low voice, but Lucy still winced at the mention of her ex-girlfriend’s new romance. Keira and Lucy had finished amicably, the both of them deciding that they just simply didn’t fit into each other’s lives like that anymore, but Lucy still found herself nursing the hurt of seven years going down the drain.

“I, uh, I feel like it’s too soon for me, you know? I’ll admit that I’m attracted to her, sure, but it’s just gonna stay like that. A harmless attraction. That will fade.”

Jordan raised an eyebrow at that. “Seems like you’re trying to convince yourself more than me.”

“No. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” Lucy let out a sigh and cradled her head in her hands. God, being single was stressful.

“You know they say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Jordan spoke, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner at her friend, causing Lucy to groan in disgust.

“I’m over Keira, okay, and that saying is fucked. Plus, I don’t even know if she is into women,” she hissed, throwing a sharp look at the woman seated next to her.

“Who don’t we know is into women?”

Lucy flushed bright red as the bride they were there for approached them, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders. Lucy Stan looked down at Lucy’s embarrassed face and shot a questioning look at Jordan, whose shoulders were shaking in a bout of silent laughter.

“Ona.”

“No on-, Jordan!”

For what felt like the hundredth time tonight, Lucy felt like strangling one of her England teammates, and she flicked her friend’s forehead in annoyance.

Jordan just batted her hand away and grinned at Lucy Stan, who had been watching the exchange with amusement. “What? She needs to know.”

“Know what?” the bride asked, although Lucy had a sneaking suspicion that she had already put the pieces together. Save for lunging over and slapping a hand over Jordan’s mouth, there was nothing Lucy could really do to stop her from spilling the beans. Shit secret keeper the former Arsenal player was.

“That Lucy here, was borderline eyefucking Ona during your ceremony.”

Lucy let her head fall into her hands again at those words and tried to half-heartedly protest her innocence.

“That’s not true!”

“Is too,” came the counter, and the woman between Jordan and Lucy let out a loud laugh before turning to glance in Ona’s direction across the room. Lucy wanted to fall into her drink and drown at the embarrassment of her friends’ ribbing.

“Well, to answer your initial question, Ona is very gay, and very into tall, muscular footballers who play as a right back,” Lucy Stan winked, nudging Lucy a little bit with her shoulder.

That made Lucy look up from her drink.

“What?”

“Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s had the hots for you for a while, Luce. You’re kind of like her celebrity crush.” This revelation sent a wave of flattery over the English fullback, and she couldn’t help but allow a self-satisfied grin to overcome her face.

“Huh,” she pondered, and was about to say something else when Lucy Stan spoke, causing the words to die on her tongue.

“Don’t look now, but she’s coming over.”

Lucy shot a discreet look over her shoulder, and sure enough, Ona was making her way over to the bar, looking searchingly in their direction.

“Impress her with your dancing skills or something,” Jordan said, and with that, her two friends had gone, leaving her alone at the bar to face the Spaniard.

“Hola, Lucy. Fancy seeing you here.”

Ona’s surprisingly deep voice filled Lucy’s ears, and she shot what she hoped was a dazzling grin at the other fullback. Clearly, it worked, because Ona’s cheeks went a bright pink, and she sat down rather heavily on the barstool next to her. Despite Lucy’s initial reluctance to lean into her attraction, something was telling her that maybe it would be worth it.

“Was wondering when I might see you. I’ve been waiting.”

Lucy noted how Ona’s flush deepened at her words, and the older woman determined that perhaps her flirting wasn’t so rusty after all.

“You seemed a little busy,” Ona shrugged, nodding in the direction of Jordan and Lucy Stan, who were both not so subtly watching their exchange. Lucy could also see Alessia and Ella nudging each other in the sides out of the corner of her eye, and she internally rolled her eyes in fondness at her teammates’ meddling antics.

“Never too busy to talk to pretty girls.”

Ona gently smacked her shoulder at that, a zing of electricity shooting down Lucy’s arm at the touch. Lucy watched as the other woman’s nose scrunched as she shyly laughed, the sound lilting and wonderful, and the English woman couldn’t help but match it with a grin of her own.

Maybe she didn’t have to mope around all night, after all.

For the rest of the evening Lucy flitted about the room, talking with various old teammates, tearing up the dancefloor, and drinking perhaps one to seven too many shots of tequila. But despite this, she always found herself gravitating towards Ona’s small figure, the alcohol emboldening her even more as the night went by.

Somehow towards the end of the night, Lucy had found her way onto the dancefloor yet again, but this time, instead of losing herself in the music alone, she had a beautiful Spaniard dancing dangerously close to her.

She knew that it was way too early to be waxing poetry about someone else’s beauty, especially considering the fact that she had only known Ona for a few hours. But as the indigo lighting flickered across the shorter woman’s face and Lucy took in the way that her body moved rhythmically to the beat, she felt positively euphoric.

“¡Baila conmigo, Lucy!” Ona shouted above the music, and Lucy took the hand that the younger woman had extended to her, immediately twirling her around.

The Spanish woman laughed in jubilance, drawing out a beaming smile from the older woman as she watched Ona twirl round and round on the floor, still gripping onto Lucy’s hand above her head. Growing dizzy, the Spaniard abruptly stopped her spinning and crashed into Lucy’s chest, the former’s hands reaching out to grasp Lucy’s jacket to steady herself.

Once the both of them had calmed down a little from the excitement, they tampered down their dancing a little as the song changed to something slower, Ona not loosening her hold on Lucy’s jacket.

Their faces were frighteningly close now, and Lucy could feel Ona’s warm breath on her lips as they swayed to the music. The air between them was positively electric as the Spaniard’s fingers released the lapel of her jacket and wound around her wrist, thumb delicately stroking the tattoo that adorned Lucy’s skin, and she couldn’t help but suck in a harsh breath at the gentle contact.

Still Ona did not say a word. She simply continued to gaze up at the English woman with a lazy smile on her face and those doe eyes that peered into the very depths of Lucy’s soul.

Her lips suddenly felt very chapped, and the older defender absent-mindedly ran her tongue over them, drawing the attention of those very eyes, which did not go unnoticed by Lucy. Slowly she reached out to brush a stray hair out of Ona’s face, and they both came to a dead halt in the middle of the floor while the people around them continued their movements.

Slowly, as if by some gravitational pull, their lips drew closer together until Lucy could almost taste the liquor on Ona’s lips.

“Lucy! Ona! Come here, I have someone I want you to meet!” came Lucy Stan’s voice, and the spell was broken, both of them pulling back to a respectable distance as they turned their attention to the bride who was waving them over.

Lucy almost let out a sigh, both of relief and frustration, as while she was glad that she hadn’t gone through with an act that would have sent her spiralling, she so desperately wanted to feel the heat of Ona’s mouth pressed against hers. Despite the space that now separated them, Lucy swore the faint brush of Ona’s lips still lingered on her own, and she reached up to touch her tingling mouth briefly as they both headed in Lucy Stan’s direction.

Later, in the wee hours of the morning, Lucy lay awake in her bed (which was unfortunately empty she’ll have you know), her finger hovering over the ‘follow back’ button as the bright blue rectangle glowed almost mockingly at her.

She sighed and rolled over onto her stomach, the sheets crinkling, feeling strangely sober despite the copious amounts of alcohol that had been consumed only a couple of hours before.

Her brain was screaming at her to close the app, roll over, go to sleep, and forget Ona’s pretty eyes, merely to save her already battered heart from any further damage. But clearly, her body had not gotten the memo, and she found herself pressing the button and immediately flinging her phone onto the couch across the room. Out of sight, out of mind.

It was only seconds later that her phone let out a ping and she scrambled over to it, catching her leg in the sheets and letting out a huff as she stumbled and almost fell to the floor. Yanking her limb out of the offending piece of linen, she grasped her phone and fixed her eyes on the new notification. Instead of a DM like she was expecting, it was a text message, and she couldn’t help but let her lips curl into a smirk as she read the words.

Hola, it’s Ona. I got your number from Lucy if that’s alright with you?

It’s definitely alright with me. Was going to ask her myself but I suppose you beat me to it.

Ona’s response was immediate.

Great minds think alike, no?

Noticing the cheesy smile plastered on her face after only two text messages, Lucy forced her features into a neutral expression as she went to type her reply, her heart in her throat. And when Ona responded to her quip with something equally witty, that’s when Lucy knew.

Oh, this woman was going to be dangerous indeed.

#lucy bronze x ona batlle #ona batlle x lucy bronze #lucy bronze #ona batlle #woso fanfics #woso imagine #if the formatting is fucked i blame tumblr #my fics #luna

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batsplat · 6 months ago

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"I must say that it is very difficult to have good relations when you fight for the same thing, as I fought with Sete. The trigger was what happened in Qatar in 2004. What happened in Qatar 2004.. I saw it as something dirty that I didn't expect neither from Sete, nor from Juan Martinez, who was his technical manager and who had worked with me for a long time. I felt betrayed because it was as if I was being played. Sete was a great rival and when you fight like that it's a bit like Michael Jordan says, it's something personal. With Sete what happened in Qatar made me very angry and it helped me to give my best until the end of that season and for the next one. If I had to give Sete some advice... it's better if he hadn't done it." here's the bit from route46.. i find it interesting he puts blame on juan martinez too!

(following on from this post, and will liberally include chunks I wrote in the sete post) right there's a lot to unpack here, but first of all. I haven't gotten around to watching the whole documentary yet, but I did quickly jump around to find the sete bit the quote is from and... and there is something I absolutely have to address first. because. uh. they actually interview juan martinez - sete's crew chief himself - about the whole qatar incident... and, well. he says the following (rough translation):

At no time did either Sete or I go ask for a sanction for Valentino: we went to ask for greater security for everyone. Once we go to HRC and passed on the knowledge, that we have found a Valentino technician on the track, thus modifying the state of the track, Honda decides that moment what really needs to be done is a complaint.

hold on. just one second. I did suspect there had to be something incredibly stupid at the heart of the whole thing. something that could reconcile all the contradictory information out there, help explain how everyone could feel so confident in their contradictory views. because the whole thing should have a relatively straightforward answer, right: either sete played tattletale or he didn't. and... I mean. okay, look. I'm not saying I'm with valentino on this one but... they did snitch! objectively martinez is admitting they snitched! it happened! either this was a moment of staggering naivety because what did you think hrc was going to do with this information?? or valentino was spot on and they passed on that information knowing that it was at least a possibility valentino was going to get a penalty as a result of their actions. surely it is possible to appeal to hrc on safety grounds without bringing up you saw valentino's technician on the track, who was at the time quite possibly acting quite suspiciously under the cover of night! why are you even going to hrc about this in the first place!

you do not have to be that paranoid a soul to maybe doubt whether they had the best of intentions here, no? what this would also help clear up is sete's response at sepang when asked to deny his involvement, which. I did find it an odd response! you kind of want to give the benefit of the doubt with these things, given sete's longstanding and genuine preoccupation with safety in the sport. that being said, rather than just firmly deny he was involved, he went on this long spiel about how he would've thought it'd be better for everyone to get their grid spots cleaned - and the crux of his argument amounted to how he'd be a hypocrite if he called for valentino to be sanctioned after that. which, why are you even focused so much on this - just say no, you weren't involved! look, it was better to err on the side of caution and maybe simply assume sete isn't the most skilled operator in denying allegations of gamesmanship. but this extra detail would make sete's response in that sepang presser read a little differently:

yeah, sure, I mean, if we're going to be generous here and say sete and his crew chief just innocently mentioned to hrc that valentino's technician was rubbering up his grid slot for 'safety reasons'... then nothing sete says here is technically a lie. he didn't "complain" and it was hrc who made the protest. but. but! it does feel like if sete and his crew chief really were the ones to alert hrc to what valentino's team had done... if what martinez says is actually correct, this whole incident does still read pretty differently! you know how sete says "they" had blocked him from cleaning the grid? it feels like a pretty reasonable assumption that the "they" in question refers to hrc. if hrc blocked sete from rubbering his own grid and he then went to tell them about what valentino had done, did he really expect honda to go 'oh that's all right then, I suppose we'd better rubber up your grid slot too'? seriously? (incidentally, do we think the mechanic who gave evidence was martinez himself)

juan martinez does also go on to say this:

What he does in the end or what he has always done, that's what he does, is turn his story into his truth, which gives him his motivation and that's it. It doesn't mean that it's the truth, it means it's Valentino's truth. The fact that it is his truth or that it is my truth about some things does not mean that it is the truth. When you are fighting for something in sports, there is a moment that you lose sight of the complete picture.

which, yes, this isn't terrible as insight into valentino's character, and mayhaps we can return to this at a later date. but, also, can I just say, if you go! to hrc! to tell them the man they hate! who you are engaged in a tight championship fight with! which has only FOUR ROUNDS TO GO! has maybe had his team do something a little sketchy! and then hrc ensures he gets a penalty for it! come on. specifically after you've been blocked from doing the same thing? could you really not have expected that hrc would go on to file a complaint with race direction? seriously?

incidentally, valentino did already pin the blame on martinez at the time:

well, you can still give sete the benefit of the doubt here I suppose, if you so choose. still, is valentino really just 'telling a story here and turning it into his truth'? the generous interpretation of what happened here is that sete accidentally helped cause a back of the grid penalty, and that's the generous interpretation! hey, maybe martinez is getting his story wrong, maybe he's lying, you never know. but let's just say for a moment that this is the truth... let's just that martinez and sete really did pass on this information with innocent intentions in the name of safety. would this not still make sete's rhetoric after the event a teensy bit disingenuous? it's one thing to say 'yeah this was a misunderstanding, hrc was out for you and we accidentally helped provide the material they needed to bag you a penalty'... it's quite another to say valentino fabricated this whole thing out of thin air, like you had absolutely zero involvement in the whole thing. was this really a feud valentino just invented out of nowhere?

anyway, enough motogp-flavoured true crime investigation... and listen, I do want to reiterate what I said here:

let's be clear here - even if sete did have some involvement in the penalty, obviously valentino's response to the whole thing is still a bit bonkers. like, it's definitely petty behaviour from honda. given the whole 'using a scooter to rubber up the track' does seem like it was at the very least a bit of a grey area in the rules, hrc getting valentino penalised for it is... well, it's all pretty undignified from everyone involved. that being said, valentino did vow to destroy sete and spent the next one and a half seasons tormenting him. some people would consider that a little bit of an overreaction, even if the whole thing wasn't based wholesale on delusion. at the end of the day, he did still do all that stuff

so, anyway, let's get into it! going to go all in here and tackle this shit line by line:

"I must say that it is very difficult to have good relations when you fight for the same thing, as I fought with Sete."

right, so this is obviously a commentary on his natural understanding of how rivalries work... how he believed his relationship with sete was destined to change as a result of how, starting in 2003, they were directly competing. this gels with the limited mentions we get in his autobiography of sete in 2003, which were coloured by how he believed sete had already been praying on his downfall before their actual friendship break up (here and here):

what valentino is saying here is basically a slightly more concise version of what I put in the sete post:

and, yeah, this is a natural element of competition - it's generally accepted that maintaining friendships at the sharp end of professional sports with your competitors is either extremely difficult or straight up impossible. (like marc put it in august 2015: "it's true that before the relationship was different, but because we were not fighting for the championship. it's not the relationship like a friend".) obviously there's still a fairly significant difference between 'friendship' and 'good relations' (and 'actively feuding'). but valentino is acknowledging it is just kinda part of the game... something he's willing to exploit if need be (see here for speculations on how the sete feud changed valentino's approach to rivalries in general). it was always going to be tough for that relationship not to go downhill, and valentino accepted as much. he was also clearly a lot more ready for it to come to that than sete was

"The trigger was what happened in Qatar in 2004."

there's always something interesting about what incident parties identify as the turning point in these rivalries. with sete/valentino, you could reasonably point to three different episodes:

assen 2004: last lap overtake resulting in contact that left sete 'angry', though publicly he turned the page pretty quickly. the first obvious public sign of tension between the pair

qatar 2004: for obvious reasons. the allegations of gamesmanship that made valentino openly turn on sete and end any cordial relations between the two of them, let alone friendship

jerez 2005: the most contentious on-track incident between the pair of them that continues to be infamous for the final corner contact and the post-race theatrics

valentino, when he talks about this rivalry, does seem to always go for qatar. yes, he's talked about jerez, but he doesn't bring it up when he's asked about the relationship between the pair of them. the sample size here is admittedly pretty small, but he answered in a similar way in 2015:

sete, by contrast, is generally more hung up on jerez. he's mentioned qatar a few times when commenting on how valentino had suddenly switched up towards him, but more often than not it's jerez. part of this is just... well, he's really focused on the moral injury aspect of what happened at jerez, where he feels very strongly he was wronged - and even more than that, that the incident set a bad precedent. he discusses valentino a bit in that three hour podcast episode he went on and it's basically entirely focused on that last lap corner

which, you know, if somebody manages to successfully 'put a curse' on you, I do get why this probably isn't the bit of the story you want to bring up by your own volition. it's also the kindest narrative to sete - because if it's all about his jerez, then his decline in that rivalry is more about a moral stance than it is about valentino successfully crushing his spirit

that's the thing, right... both of these choices of turning points, qatar and jerez, represent something to the two parties, and both narratives flatter the person telling them in some way. in both cases, it's about their rival doing something that's unacceptable, immoral, 'dirty' in some way... they're accusing each other of stepping outside of the bounds of what is 'acceptable' behaviour for competitors. they're accusing each other of not playing fair, of not playing the game like it should be played. this is what makes the dissolution of their friendship acceptable too, right - it's not just that they're rivals, it's not just the heat of competition or whatever, it's that their enemy did something wrong. this isn't just normal competitive tension that caused their relationship to fall apart, it's foul play

now, look, I'm not going to make some ultra contrarian argument about how it's all actually about assen 2004, This Race Clash Is The One Nobody Is Talking About... BUT this was the first public incident in which sete failed to act graciously in defeat and valentino verbally noted as much. clearly the relationship was a bit strained already headed into qatar. see the autobiography quotes, see assen... also. well. check out what valentino said at the time at qatar (from here):

"I've been looking for an excuse not to talk to sete"... this doesn't necessarily contradict how valentino frames qatar as the "trigger" - the word itself acknowledges that there was something already there just waiting to be 'triggered'. in what truly is one of the all time great presser questions, the above quote is actually put to valentino in sepang with sete sitting right next to him

good vibes!

unfortunately he doesn't really clarify what he meant here, just saying something along the lines of 'well it's a new week now'. anyway, you can interpret the initial valentino quote in several different ways. you could say he was just searching for an opportunity to engineer a feud with sete and was willing to seize on any opportunity, however flimsy. or you could say valentino had already grown suspicious of sete - presumably as a result of several past incidents between the pair of them. the stuff vale mentions in his autobiography about how sete had been predicting him to fail at yamaha, what happened at assen... again, it's the idea that sete covets what valentino has, that he's been performing graciousness - perhaps, from assen onwards at the latest, a little less successfully so. perhaps valentino just wanted to create a little more distance between the two of them for his own sake, make it easier to fire up his competitive juices - and that's what he needed an 'excuse' for. or perhaps what valentino meant was something along the lines of 'I suspected he was a snake and now he proved it'. whatever it was, it must have been enough for valentino to be ready to pull the pin on that particular friendship. so yes, qatar is the trigger. even if it triggered something that had already been festering for a much longer time

"What happened in Qatar 2004... I saw it as something dirty that I didn't expect neither from Sete, nor from Juan Martinez, who was his technical manager and who had worked with me for a long time."

okay I already discussed the descriptor of 'dirty' for sete's actions. it's something underhanded, it's something valentino doesn't like - snitching on your rivals as a dishonest way of beating them. athletes can build up incredibly convoluted frameworks of what they consider acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, and a lot of the time it is self-serving bullshit.... but it can be self-serving bullshit with an internal logic of sorts. like, this is the thing right, is going to race direction to play tattletale inherently morally so much worse than various valentino behaviours he openly admits to? eh. but for him, he sees this as a fundamentally 'dirty' and ugly way of trying to win. the stuff he does is fair game, but going around trying to find obscure rules that might not even technically exist to fuck over your rival is not okay. that's not how you should fight to win

the martinez angle has also already been mostly covered above... I was aware they'd worked together before martinez moved to the gresini team (while valentino was still at honda by the way, this wasn't a case of martinez choosing against jumping ship to yamaha when valentino left) - but it's still nice to get the confirmation that they'd worked together for a "long time". obviously, this is a fun element of 2004 in general, the extent to which valentino's sworn enemies are all the people he was working alongside in previous years, how vicious the break up had been. this was also in itself a nice source of motivation, and initially that season was as much about spiting honda as it was spiting his specific rivals who had been so wedded to the narrative that valentino was on the superior bike. though it should be noted valentino wasn't disillusioned with, like, the honda rank and file, mechanics and so on - more with honda management and the engineers. here from his autobiography:

and martinez himself was also a suspension technician in valentino's team. which, yeah, valentino feels hurt on a personal level! this is somebody he had worked with and trusted who has (allegedly) decided to do something so underhanded specifically to spite valentino! from the same autobiography excerpt as above:

rivals are one thing, you've kinda gotta expect the worst, but he does take this type of relationship very seriously. presumably it really twisted in the knife for him, this notion that one of his former team members was willing to do something this 'dirty' to him. valentino didn't expect it! not from sete and not from somebody he'd worked with for years! that's the bit that made it unforgivable, the previous personal relationships that valentino felt weren't being honoured

(incidentally, juan martinez actually ended up being nicky hayden's crew chief... during his time at ducati, where of course hayden would be reunited with valentino for two years as teammates. bit awkward!)

"I felt betrayed because it was as if I was being played."

see above, not much more to add. that's what it often comes back to for valentino, isn't it. a lot of stuff is acceptable, it's just part of the game, rivalries are supposed to be feisty and fierce and a little bit ugly. but this? again, a lot of this is about internal frameworks that athletes have for what is seen as acceptable and not acceptable within competition. valentino deploys a rather liberal definition of what should be allowed both on and off the track, but this is a hard line for him. he'll accept a lot, but not what he considers betrayal. something else that remains consistent throughout his career, including as it pertains to a certain other rivalry

"Sete was a great rival and when you fight like that it's a bit like Michael Jordan says, it's something personal."

michael jordan mention, interesting in its own right! someone who's been compared to valentino in his ruthlessness and, well, cruelty (though some of the stories about jordan make valentino look like an angel lbr). a little bit of commentary to be made there on what greatness in sports generally looks like, and how it does often involve some... hm. pretty unsavoury behaviour. the two of them have actually met a couple times, in valencia 2004 where valentino took him for a ride and laguna 2005 where they partied together after the race

obviously, it's a little funny this meeting happened at valencia 2004 of all occasions, at a time in which valentino was really finding his groove where psychologically torturing his rivals was concerned. there's always something heartwarming about athletes drawing inspiration from each other, no? but anyway, coming back to what valentino actually said here - "it's something personal". just in case anyone's unfamiliar, what this is referring to jordan's habit of drawing competitive inspiration from what he saw as personal slights (there's several compilations out there of jordan using phrasing along the lines of 'it became personal with me', if anyone wants to look it up). sete inspired valentino to up his game because valentino did increasingly take it personally when sete thwarted him - and at a certain point, valentino decided that defeat was no longer acceptable at all. the best way possible to fire himself up... take it personally, and be prepared to do whatever it takes to make his enemy's life hell

"With Sete what happened in Qatar made me very angry and it helped me to give my best until the end of that season and for the next one."

well, yes! I talked a little bit here about the parallels between marc and valentino in how they use anger to motivate themselves, mainly in the context of argentina 2018. and from valentino's autobiography:

anyway, excluding the qatar fiasco itself where he lost his temper, it's fun that he acknowledges explicitly here that the anger provided him with a good source of competitive fuel. note also the time span - the last three races of 2004 as well as the entirety of 2005. sete wasn't really a title rival any more in 2005, not after jerez, but he was still a serious on-track threat... if your goal isn't just to win the title but also to prevent sete from winning a single further race, then sure, he's still very relevant! so that rivalry was still a big part of his competitive make-up a full year after sete could no longer seriously challenge him for a title, and valentino does have enough self-awareness to consciously take advantage of that fury when he can. he probably never did that better than in 2005... his brain controlled his fury - and at every single opportunity he used it to beat sete further into submission

"If I had to give Sete some advice... it's better if he hadn't done it."

iconic banger line. evil laugh afterwards. 10/10 no notes

#this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so i'm kinda over my initial reaction to that bit of the documentary #aka sending several irritable voice notes about how apparently this information has just been out there since 2021 #still kind of staggered by the nerve of the whole thing. why would you just say that #anyway I may end up having more thoughts on this but at a certain point. got to clear those drafts #brr brr #//#batsplat responds #marquezian #irritation aside i do feel a teensy bit vindicated that my read of that qatar incident was basically correct. this was one of my theories #either this or that sete had directly suggested the grid rubbering in the safety commission meeting and unwittingly inspired vale's mistake #would've been easy to assume that valentino was being completely delusional!! he has form with it!! but something about it...#*bursting into the room* yeah we've blown this 20 year old case WIDE open through a documentary that's been publicly available since 2021 #curse tag

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