#FELLAS I DO BELIEVE I POPPED OFF

[sbarrysncream]

"One question. Do you love him?"

"That's ridiculous. Yes."

"Then love him.

Coward."

[starsinthesky5]

you are in love: l'amour de ma vie || joe burrow x reader

description: a little bridge between the last part of YAIL into part 5 which will be coming soon! little moments from the france trip and some stuff from home 🖤

universe: you are in love (click for parts 1-4 of the series)

a/n: been in my drafts since June of 2024. and here she is :) would love some feedback and if you’d like to see more of this for this series!

taglist: (ask to be added): @joeyfranchise @joeyb1989 @joeyburrrow @softburrow @burrowbarbie @yelenasbraid @lovelyburrow @majestic87 @grittysbiggestfan @definitelynotdomanique

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📍cannes, france

liked by: joeyb_9, lahjay10_, killatrav, y/bsf_21, taylorswift, and others

tagged: joeyb_9

y/n_y/ln: ocean blue eyes, looking in mine

comments:

joeyb_9: la plus belle fille que j'ai jamais vue

——— y/n_y/ln: tu me rends le plus heureux 😙😙

——— fan14: he said she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on. shut the fuck up oh my god

——— fan938: did she just say he makes her the happiest? oh pack it up fellas it's wraps

fan6: i can’t believe we’re back to her casually posting my relationship era. thank you joe burrow for your services 🫡

fan1348: i don’t even know who’s winning in this relationship like they’re both HOT as fuck

y/bsf: 🛥️ the ship has sailed folks

fan_71: the heart on his back? god when is it my turn

fan273: they’re so cute 🥲

fan28288: that caption feels oddly like song lyrics y/n 😟

fan1717: i am so happy for her 🥺 she deserves this after all these years

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📍cannes, france

liked by: y/n_y/ln, lahjay_10, jjetas2, killatrav, y/bsf_21, and others

tagged: y/n_y/ln

joeyb_9: photo dump?

comments:

y/n_y/ln: he’s learninggg 🤞

——— joeyb_9: creds to the best 🧎‍♂️

y/n_y/ln: wear that alo two piece more often. damn 🤤

——— joeyb_9: yes ma’am 🫡

—————— lahjay_10: aye 🤨

fan226: y/n has joe doing photo dumps now? are we in heaven?

fan9191: everytime they pop up on my feed my jaw drops because I still can’t believe it’s true

fan8877: he brought her with him to the events 🥺

fan5874: atta boy joe! winning on and off the field like a true king

fan2727: that last photo of her...hello. HELLO

lahjay_10: i was in baton rouge for 5 seconds and shiesty went hollywood? damn

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📍french riviera

liked by: enews, bengalslover47, y/ncollective, ybsf_21, wasitover_10, and others

tagged: y/n_y/ln, joeyb_9

gridback_news: love is officially in bloom under the french riviera sun! 🌹✨ multi-platinum and grammy award winning artist, y/n and superstar NFL quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, joe burrow were spotted on an intimate stroll through the charming streets of cannes, looking completely smitten with one another. from soft smiles to stolen glances, the chemistry between these two is undeniable. after months of speculation, their outings in france seem to confirm what fans have been buzzing about: romance is in full swing and the fans are here for it! could this be the new power couple we’ve been waiting for? 🖤

#cannesinlove #yxj #couplegoals #romanceinfrance

comments:

bengalslover47: the king of cincy has finally found his queen everyone. may she bring us good luck and make joe the happiest he's ever been. amen

y/ncollective: ARM PLACEMENTS? and she looks so small next to him 💗

y/nfan0: oh joey b you are so loved by us.

fan8: qb1 scoring touchdowns on and off the field. y’all are the ultimate power couple

fan38: can we talk about how joe went from breaking defenses to breaking hearts? he just bagged the woman of the CENTURY

——— fan.18: every man and woman in america just fell to their knees

fan9_: oooooof her new album is going to HIT

——— fan!6: new album? did i miss something

—————— fan9_: grammy's coming up...she always goes out with a bang then 👀 just connecting some dots

rulethejungle5: and they said i was crazy when i said i heard some things around town about these two

xoxogossipgirllover: i need to get the scoop on these two! damn 😍🔥

fan3893_0: INJECT IT INTO MY VIENS MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING

fan84: anyone notice y/n's best friend liked the post? tea ☕️

fan82828: oh the album is coming everyone. it’s coming soon. WE MADE IT

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📍paris, france

liked by: y/n_y/ln, joeyb_9, usweekly, bengalslover47, y/ncollective, ybsf_21, wasitover_10, and others

tagged: y/n_y/ln, joeyb_9

gridback_news: spotted: y/n and joe burrow turning heads in paris, strolling hand in hand and serving effortlessly chic looks 👀✨ with fashion week just around the corner, fans are buzzing about whether this stylish duo might make an appearance. whatever the occasion, one thing’s for sure—they’re absolutely owning the parisian streets!

an exclusive source has confirmed their relationship, revealing that joe and y/n are very happy together and share a connection built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. their relationship has been growing behind the scenes for much longer than anyone realized, and their bond is stronger than ever. y/n has fully embraced life in cincinnati, and together they’ve created a solid foundation that balances their busy lives with a love that feels effortless. right now, they’re focused on enjoying each other and making memories—and it’s safe to say, happiness looks good on them. 💕

#parislove #yxj #styleandgrace #fashionweekvibes

comments:

fan9493: FIRST PAP WALK? IN PARISSS? oh we are so back y/n nation. that girl is in LOVE

y/ncollective: they look phenomenal

y/nfan0: manifesting a fashion week appearance

fan02: peep both their likes on this post...

fan-19: wonder if their gonna go to vouge world?

——— gridback_news: 👀👀

fan521_: this photo would do numbers on wattpad a few years ago

fan91: she seems so much happier and comfortable with joe. that’s how you know she’s thriving again. just look at them

fan18_brq: embraced life in cincy? and that’s a big fuck you to her ex! wack him again for me HAHAH

xoxogossipgirllover: i heard that they'll be at YSL's show tomorrow...watch this space

fan0101: wait…how long have they actually been together because-

fan3939: i need football season to come faster. need her in the stands this year!!! she has such great style

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📍paris, france

liked by: joeyb_9, lahjay10_, jjetas2, y/bsf_21, taylorswift, gracieabrams, ysl, sabrinacarpenter, and others

tagged: joeyb_9

y/n_y/ln: thank you for an amazing night @ ysl 🖤

comments:

y/bsf_21: god damn you look amazing

——— y/n_y/n: i love you 💞

joeyb_9: starry skies 🌌

——— y/n_y/ln: ...starry eyes?

—————— joeyb_9: ....darkest nights?

———————————— fan3010: what are they talking about 🤨

lahjay10_: lookin fly mademoiselle

——— y/n_y/ln: feelin fly uno 😴

fan9393: oh they absolutely ate this up. 10/10 no notes

ysl: thank you both for joining us!

joeyb_9: beautiful as always

——— y/n_y/ln: lover 💘

bengals: 👑 🐅

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📍vogue world

liked by: tmz, y/ncollective, rulethejungle, bengalsfan4949, enews, and 1.5 million others

tagged: y/n_y/ln

gridback_news: breaking alert 🚨: y/n spotted looking absolutely stunning at the vogue world fashion show, where rumors are swirling that her boyfriend, joe burrow, is set to make his runway debut alongside friend and fellow nfl star, justin jefferson 🏈✨ sources say y/n is here to cheer joe on as he steps into the world of high fashion for the first time, sharing in what’s sure to be a monumental moment for him. from the field to the runway, this power couple is proving they’re unstoppable 🔥

#vogueworld #joeburrow #yxj #fashionmeetsfootball

comments: have been limited under this post

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📍pfw

liked by: y/n_y/ln, jjetas2, lahjay10_, bengals, y_bsf21, samhubbard, vouge, killatrav, and 5.6 million others

tagged: vouge, y/n_y/ln

joeyb_9: with @ vougemagazine doing some new things :)

comments:

y/n_y/ln: i am so so so proud of you joey ❤️

——— joeyb_9: my biggest cheerleader. ilyttmats

—————— fan383: did he...did he just quote "seven"? OH MY GOD HE QUOTED SEVEN

—————— fan29: im going to be sick this is so 🥲

jjetas2: shiesty in all black

samhubbard: nice 😎

fan302: peak couple behavior is the matching loubitans. we're witnessing the couple of the decade y'all. buckle up

y/n_y/ln: put the back away joseph lee there's people around 😦

——— joeyb_9: why don't you come help me out then ;)

—————— y_bsf21: guys...there's people watching

————————— y/n_y/ln: oopsies 🙊

bengals: alright joe! 🐅

killatrav: 🔥

vouge: a natural star 🌟

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📍fashion week

liked by: joeyb_9, lahjay10_, y/ncollective, rulethejungle, bengalsfan11, y/bsf_21, taylorswift, and others

tagged: joeyb_9

y/n_y/ln: come here dressed in black now

comments:

joeyb_9: bestest week with l'amour de ma vie

——— y/n_y/ln: 🥹

—————— y/ncollective: joe please keep her this happy im not okay :(

——— fan39: LOVE OF HIS LIFE!! HE SAID LOVE OF HIS LIFE

—————— fan30303: WHAT

taylorswift: love it!!!! you both killed it :)

——— y/n_y/ln: 💗

fan3003: love seeing them happy together! they both deserve this

fan1991: has anyone noticed the black theme/aesthetic she has going on? her last few posts have been…dark

——— fan181.y/n_: wait a second. you’re onto something??

fan111: give me that album now rachel. GIVE IT TO ME.

loverofy/n: girl we need new music. like NOW

fan9339-_: already the most iconic couple we've seen in years.

lahjay10_: y'all killin it 🙂‍↕️

——— y/n_y/ln: we miss youuuu

——— joeyb_9: dinner at our place when we get back?

vouge: a beauty ✨

fan2882: how much y’all wanna bet that her caption is song lyrics

y_bsf21: STUNNER? HOT? JOE MOVE OVER

——— y/n_y/ln: im in tears joe's giving me a frowny face because he feels threatened

—————— y_bsf_21: good.

——— joeyb_9: I will NOT be moving over ma'am

enews: setting the streets of paris on fire as well as all our hearts 💕🥰

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joeyb_9 via Instagram Stories

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y/n_y/ln via Instagram Stories

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--The End--

stay tuned for you are in love V

[itsquakey]

Forgotten Land DLC thoughts, theories, and hopes

While Kirby Air Riders is an addition I am happy to see pop up in the future, someone who loves story and a certain someone I am actually more excited for the DLC over the air ride sequel believe it or not. And man, do I have a LOT of things to point out and "theorize" what this DLC might be.

⬇️ Rambling below! ⬇️

First of all, the suspiciously jamba-heart-shaped comet which is covered in blue crystals and is pink/purple in the core.

I can maybe see either a purple crystal that has carvings or damage of some sort and light is reflecting off these impurities OR it's something and that weird round bumpiness are wings of some kind? Which is why there's lighting and depth on the "figure". Though it's hard to see and it's a very uneducated guess.

Another detail! The bits of crystal that break apart from the comet and go everywhere has been seen in a few games!

I believe the bits and pieces of comet that break off are the same as the weird crystal fellas we see in Kirby clash and Return to Dreamland in "another dimension". I wonder if somehow that comet had been floating around in the other dimension for so long those weird crystals grew over it and created an extra coating of some kind.

Moving on, it's interesting that these "potential another dimension" crystals are infecting the world around it, though something I find interesting is how the coins change in shape to a different stereotypical star shape. Keep that in the back of your noggin for now.

Moving on again through the video...we see...something?

The area is called Fallen-star volcano, and looks like is contains a pink/purple core surrounded by a orb on red an them dead, fingerlike shapes wrap around it. Not entirely sure what to think of this, though the core is a hot topic of interest to me in my brain.

Next! Now this is where my eyebrows started to shoot up a bit. A new little guy, who seems to be encased in some crystal. He looks vaguely kirby enemy-like, typical design, though the colors, little wings, and shape on their face interests me for reasons I'll go into later.

Also, a potential new waddle dee??? He seems to be an astronomer or hell, maybe they research the other dimensions or the ancients. It would be amusing if this is bandee in new gear, though.

Next up, HMMMMMM THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR

This fella is covered in crystal, likely protected with horns and a mask(?) shape that really made me go "oh shit?" Something else to point out, when kirby defeats this fella, you can see their body and eye more clearly. The egg shaped body is also interesting to me but that could be a reach.

Nothing else seemed to catch my eye in the video we got after this, but I definitely have a handful of theories and hopes, so let's move onto that!

THEORY ONE: COMING BACK TO THE FORGOTTEN LAND

One idea I have is that maybe somehow those who left the forgotten land have been elevated to "another dimension" and one of these beings has crash landed back to the land they once left, now infecting the land around it. There's no proof for this one, but I kinda just had the idea in my brain when typing this out.

THEORY TWO: SOMEHOW, VOID TERMINA RETURNED

This theory has more grounds to be true, with the idea that Void Termina has suddenly become reincarnated and is flung back to land in a jamba heart-like crystal. The "another dimension" crystals are spreading and creating new living things as Void termina's new form awaits someone to wake it from its slumber.

THEORY THREE: PLEASE BE GALA PLEASE BE GALA

I REALLY want this to be true, I do. And I actually have a entire story decked out here for y'all. What if...Galacta's death in Star Allies was a red herring this whole time. What if every time we've seen him it's only the version of him in that dimension/universe? And in every universe, every dimension, Galacta knight is doomed to that crystal imprisonment. However, in our mainline timeline, our version of Galacta knight has been hanging around another dimension's very bottom, collecting crystals and becoming a huge comet that looks exactly like the thing Galacta knight helped seal away all those years ago. Now, he was the one who had been sealed and could never be free from it again.

This comet, one day becomes big and powerful enough to move out of the other dimension, and fall right into the Forgotten Land. This giant comet, holding the greatest warrior, falls into the sea and creates its own island where his body is kept. The crystals spread and infect everything, even giving creatures an appearance similar to him. Hell, maybe the little blue guy we see (which has bee confirmed to work like waddle dees) either helps up undo the crystals, maybe freeing Gala and undoing the crystal takeover of the land. Or maybe it's like a Leon's soul thing? Maybe these guys are parts of Galacta's soul or sanity you need to collect and return to him???

Something about them is interesting though, they have the same star shape as Galacta's mask does and what we see other enemies have as well as the coins we see in the game. They also have wings that look like they're meant to resemble bird wings. These could have a connection to Elfilin as well. But back on course to Gala. What if the pink/purple we see in the grainy image is either him or his crystal prison? And once he is freed it is revealed that his hatred, fear, and contempt have become a living thing possessing him and practically being responsible for the chaos that was happening. Maybe, this main line universe of Galacta is the one who gets the happy ending, and gets to be apart of Kirby's group or just gets to live happily in the forgotten land. Also something something tons of lore dumps as we go. But I'm desperate for Gala content he's my second fav kirby character and I NEED more of him and this trailer really tipped me off to "Galacta like patterns". If any new videos or info drops I'll be on it but this is my hopeful ramblings for now. Art coming soon! I really wanna draw these little guys.

Add onto whatever ideas or story you wanna see in this DLC.

[hiramaris]

Imma fight a man (but Imma find a woman)

Note: Saw this on TikTok and can't help but make a crack fic 😂 Btw, next chapter for Kiss It Off Me is WIP, and after that, I'll start with the request in my inbox.

Here's the link of the Tiktok if you want to check it out: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6VajaMP/ (Though I'm not sure when's the Tiktok ban for the US so I'll just explain that it's a fanart of farmer and Haley doing the breaking dishes trend lmao)

The late afternoon sun painted everything in warm, golden hues as Haley and Alex stood outside the Mullners' house. Haley’s phone sat on a tripod, its lens aimed squarely at them.

Haley let out an exasperated huff, smoothing her sundress as she glared at Alex. "Come on, Alex! It can’t be that hard!" she snapped, hands planted on her hips.

Alex was hunched over, hands on his knees, panting like he’d just run a marathon. His red tank top was clinging to him, damp from sweat. He held up a hand, trying to buy himself some time. "Gimme a sec to catch my breath, Hay," he said, his voice strained.

"You’re acting like I weigh a freaking ton!" Haley fired back, the annoyance in her voice cutting through the quiet street.

"Yoba, Hay," Alex grumbled, straightening up with a wince as he rolled his shoulder. "You don’t weigh a ton, but we’ve been doing this stupid TikTok trend over and over! I swear, my shoulder’s about to pop out. Ow..."

"That’s because you’re doing it all wrong!" Haley shot back, throwing her hands up in frustration. "You look like you’re struggling to lift me! Me! I can’t have people thinking I weigh as much as a cow or something!"

Alex looked at her like she’d lost it, shaking his head. "How can I not struggle? You’re supposed to be jumping at the same time I lift you! That’s how this works—it’s all about momento or whatever."

Haley’s face twisted into an unimpressed glare, but her lips twitched like she was holding back a laugh.

"Momentum, you dungus!" she corrected, smacking his arm lightly. "Not ‘momento.’ Good Yoba, Alex, do you even know what you’re talking about?"

Alex blinked at her, then cracked a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck.

"Whatever," he muttered. "You know what I mean."

Haley let out an exasperated laugh, crouching down to pick up another plate they’d set aside. "I’m starting to wonder why I even asked you to help me with this."

Alex leaned back against the side of the house, smirking now. "Cookies. You said you’d bake me cookies if I helped."

Haley paused, narrowing her eyes at him. "And you’re not getting any if you keep acting like this is the hardest thing in the world."

Alex groaned, dragging his hand down his face. "Fine, one more time," he grumbled, stepping back into position. "But if this doesn’t work, I’m done."

Haley brightened instantly, clapping her hands together. "Perfect! Now remember, you have to time it with me. Don’t make me look like a sack of potatoes this time!"

The phone’s recording light started blinking as they got into position. Alex muttered under his breath, "I can’t believe this is my life right now..." but crouched anyway, ready to give it one last go.

Just as he was about to lift Haley by the waist, a familiar voice rang out from the path leading to the Mullners’ yard.

"Sup, fellas," you called, adjusting the straps of your russet backpack that were digging into your tank top. "Heard you two bickering all the way from Pierre’s. What’s the fuss this time?"

Alex straightened up with a groan, rolling his shoulder as though he’d just finished a wrestling match. "Ask this crazy woman right here," he said, jerking his thumb toward Haley. "Also, I really need Harvey to check this shoulder…"

Haley gasped, scandalized. "Who are you calling crazy?!"

"Anyway," Alex continued, ignoring her and gesturing vaguely toward the tripod, "Hay wanted to do that ‘breaking dishes’ trend on TikTok, but she keeps messing it up. And now I’m the one with a busted shoulder because of it."

"The hell you mean I keep messing it up—!"

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Breaking dishes trend? What’s that? I don’t see any of y’all breaking actual dishes.”

Alex barked out a laugh, wiping a hand over his face. “Are you serious? Don’t tell me you don’t have TikTok on your phone.”

“Nah,” you replied with a shrug, setting your rucksack down on the porch. “Signal’s pretty crap on the farm, and honestly, I don’t use my phone much. Too busy keeping the cows from eating the chicken feed, you know?”

Haley groaned, throwing her hands up in disbelief. “Of course you don’t know what TikTok is,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair. “What kind of hermit are you?”

“Hey!”You said, feigning offense, crossing your arms with an exaggerated pout. “Just because I don’t spend my time doing this whole ‘breaking dishes’ thing doesn’t mean I’m out of the loop.”

“You are so out of the loop,” Alex said, smirking as he leaned against the porch railing, clearly enjoying himself. “Anyway, the trend is basically flexing your strength. The guy’s supposed to lift the girl on their shoulder like she weighs nothing. You know, it makes you look all badass while Rihanna’s ‘Breaking Dishes’ plays in the background.”

“Oh, I see,” you said, nodding slowly as the gears turned in your head. “So... does it require the person doing the lifting to be a guy?”

“Wait, what?” Haley asked, her voice rising an octave as she stepped back, sensing where this might be going.

“That’s not a bad idea, old Mac!” Alex cut in, grinning as he grabbed the phone on the tripod and adjusted the angle. “Camera’s rolling. Do your worst, Y/n/n!”

Before Haley could protest, you stepped forward and grinned at her mischievously. “Alright, Hay. Brace yourself.”

“Wha—wait, hold on!" Haley barely had time to react as your hands found her waist. With surprising ease, you hoisted her off the ground, smoothly maneuvering her onto your shoulder. She let out an uncharacteristic squeak of surprise, her hands instinctively grabbing at your shoulders for balance.

“Yoba, Haley,” you teased, steadying her as if this was something you did every day. “You’re lighter than you look. Guess Alex really is just weak.”

“Hey!” Alex protested from behind the camera, but the grin on his face betrayed his amusement.

“Put me down!” Haley squirmed, though her voice lacked any real heat. Her cheeks flushed pink as she realized the situation. “This is not how this is supposed to go!”

“Oh, come on. Isn’t this what you wanted?” you quipped, turning to face the camera as you easily adjusted Haley’s position on your shoulder. “Breaking dishes trend, right? I’d say I nailed it.”

“Y/n, I swear if this goes viral, I’m never letting you live it down.”

Alex barked out a laugh as he stopped the recording. “Too late. That was gold! You have to post it, Hay! Can she, Old Mac? Can she?”

You chuckled, glancing at Haley, who was still recovering from the whirlwind of events. “Sure. I’m fine if she’s fine with it,” you replied with a grin. Gently, you lowered her back onto the ground, her feet touching down as lightly as a feather. “Though… I think I broke her, Alex.”

“Yep, sure did,” Alex teased, folding his arms as he leaned back against the porch with a smug grin.

You laughed as you gathered your things. “Anyway, I’m gonna get going. Need to ask Clint about an update on my tools.”

Alex gave you a fist bump. “Catch you later, Old Mac.”

You turned to Haley, who was still standing there, looking like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or give you another piece of her mind.

“Oh, and Haley?” you called out, smirking as you adjusted the strap of your rucksack. “If you need to do any more trends, my farm’s just down the road. See ya!”

With that, you strolled off toward the path leading back to Clint's shop, leaving Alex cackling on the porch and Haley staring after you, shaking her head but smiling despite herself.

****

Alex was practically doubled over, his phone in hand as he scrolled through the comment section of Haley’s latest TikTok. His laughter echoed through the room, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Raw, next question!” he managed to wheeze out, slapping his knee for emphasis.

Haley, sprawled across the couch, groaned and threw a decorative pillow in his direction. “Ugh, stop it already! It’s not that funny.”

“It’s absolutely that funny!” Alex shot back, ducking the pillow effortlessly. “Do you even read these? These women are feral, Hay. And I’m not even talking about the ones thirsting over you. Y/n/n’s got her own fanbase now.”

Haley sat up, her cheeks heating as she snatched her phone to check the comments. Sure enough, there were a few decently wholesome remarks buried among the absolute chaos. But the majority? Feral didn’t even begin to describe it.

AND THE CROWD IS... taking off their clothes?

Born to ride, forced to scroll.

Ho is u single?

I have nothing appropriate to say

I can take both of them. Not in a fight 😏

Does the farmer girl do weddings? As like a bride?

Does anyone know if the farmer girl has tiktok?

Scrolling feels like a divorce

All ten fingers!

I told my parents about us btw

Weird way of proposing but yes.

Wuh luh wuh?

BOOM SHAKALAKAAAA

“Oh, and this one’s gold.” Alex scrolled further, nearly choking on his laughter. “‘I swear my pants were just on.’ Yoba, help us all.”

Haley groaned louder, flopping back against the couch. “I regret everything. I should’ve never let Y/n lift me for that trend.”

Alex grinned, leaning back in his chair with a smug expression. “Oh no, Hay. This is the best content you’ve ever posted. You better pray to Yoba that Y/n doesn’t open a TikTok account, or it’s game over for you. You’re cooked.”

Haley grabbed another pillow, this time fully intending to launch it at Alex’s face.

“Shut up!” she yelled, her cheeks flushed a shade of crimson that she couldn’t blame on the sunlight streaming through the window.

~~~~

A/N: Now that I think about it, this one-shot can be considered part of the Kiss It Off Me universe. The timeline's probably during summer.

taglist:

@joordynn

@taliiiaasteria

@iluvwomen01

@tekanparadiae

@slug-on-bike

@prlan

@mit-suri

@marvelwomen-simp

[vidjauser-player-206]

Dae-ho x Pregnant F!Reader

Pairing: Dae-ho x F!Pregnant reader

Triggers: Squid game typical violence and death, brief mention of trafficking, mention of abusive baby daddy, Dae-ho is NOT the father, cursing

Tags: Pregnancy, fluff, 2 endings, 1 angsty ending, 1 good ending

Words: 3.2k

Read on Ao3!

Main blog/Art Commissions/Masterlist:

Art Tag:

Instagram:

BlueSky

I have a couple more chapters planned for this, and two endings. Possibly some bonus smut after this is all finished? : ) I've been on such a hype for this fella. I love him so much.

Also happy Valentines everyone!

CHAPTER ONE

The two of you met in the games. You were approximately 8 months pregnant, so close to popping out your child, but not quite there yet. The only reason you were in these stupid games was because you were desperate. Your baby daddy ran off shortly after you had told him about the baby, around your second month of pregnancy. You weren’t too surprised, however, what did surprise you was the fact that his loan sharks started lurking around your place. You had guessed that he had gone fully into hiding, and they sought out the first person they knew he was close to. 

One of the loan sharks had pressed you against the wall, threatening to do awful things to you if you didn’t get the money by the end of the month. He stared at your belly greedily as he said it. 

After that, you feared what would truly happen when the end of the month came. You weren’t sure how you were going to afford to pay such a big debt, but also your rent and impending bills that would come with all the baby related medical appointments you needed…

You knew your baby was a girl, and you feared the worst would happen once they found that out. 

Despite not knowing what you would be getting yourself into, you still found yourself playing Ddakji in the subway station on your way to a doctor’s appointment, which you ended up skipping after getting slapped a few times by the Recruiter, who wasn’t light on the slaps despite your obvious predicament weighing your stomach down. That card you held in your hands felt like your own hope and savior, so you had called and confirmed your information. 

Being drugged in the limo was scary, and what was even scarier was the fact that you woke up in a room of what felt like a thousand people, now in different clothing. Which meant that someone undressed you. This wasn’t where you thought you would wind up. The room only had bunk beds stretched nearly to the ceiling. You never thought that they could go that high. The walls were mostly blank, other than some childlike paintings. It reminded you of a pediatric waiting room but the doctors had forgotten the colorful paint, scaring the children⁠—and you⁠—rather than making them feel welcomed. You could almost smell the foul stench of bleached floors, making your nose crinkle as you got out of your bunk. At least the person who changed you had the decency to put you on a lower bunk. 

You avoided the people who emerged from the bunks, though when you met the eyes of a couple of them, they always fell down to your stomach with a surprised expression. 

You ignored them and proceeded through a big door to a wacky set of stairways that came straight out of a surreal painting, took your photo, and ended up on a field of sand. Once again, you felt like a kid, though rather out on the playing field, ready to play sports in Physical Education. The first game was…Red Light, Green Light? That threw you off. This felt too weird to believe that you were just playing kid’s games for money…What was the catch? 

It would be a whole lot worse than you thought, and your survival was only thanks to Player 388. The number burned in the back of your mind, becoming your lucky number at that moment. 

After the first gunshot and once everyone scattered⁠—being promptly shot once they moved even an inch⁠—Player 456 called for shorter players to get behind taller ones, claiming that the robot couldn’t see things behind the players. 

“Green light!”

The man in front of you turned and grabbed you by your shoulders. 

“What the hell⁠—” You cried and slammed your fists against his shoulders, afraid he was going to pull you in front of him and use you as some sort of human shield. 

“Get behind me.” He says firmly. 

Instead, his strong arms yanked you behind him, and you got a faceful of that number you would never forget. 388. He kept one hand behind him so he could keep his hands on you while the two of you ran. You kept his shirt balled in your fist but let go when you two stopped, fearing you might knock him over. 

“Red light!”

There were only a couple of gunshots. 

With each gunshot, Player 388 trembled, and you could feel through his grip that it was hard for him to sit still when he heard the gunshots. You couldn’t blame him though, you were trembling too. The two of you remained brave, especially him— for not only carrying himself, but you and your baby too. 

You couldn’t help but admire him from behind. A hero…your hero.

In the beginning, everyone only had five minutes to make it across the finish line, now it was down to one. You swore that you weren’t going to make it. Player 388 should have left you there,but he didn’t. 

There was cramping everywhere in your abdomen and below. Your baby was protesting against all the new movements you had avoided throughout your pregnancy. You pleaded quietly for her to stop kicking your bladder. 

“Green light!”

Everyone moved forward again. 

Soon, close to the finish line, a few players behind you lurched forward after tripping, knocking you in the same direction. Player 388 dug his heels into the ground, and it was like running straight into a stone wall. Your body and stomach were pressed right into him, almost intimately. 

“Red light!” The robot’s head spun around, eyes scanning furiously. 

The players who had knocked into you all stood right as the robot’s head moved. They weren’t so lucky, and you heard the gunshots. Thank God you were behind Player 388 because your head naturally creaked to the side as you peered at the bodies that had thumped behind you. You regretted looking immediately. You realized you moved and waited for another gunshot. Though, it never came. 

After what felt like their final minute was up, the robot’s head spun back toward the tree. “Green light!” 

“Come on!” Player 388 spun around, and for a second you saw his face. You could barely register it though, unable to process details in the heat of the moment. All you knew was that he was handsome and sweaty. 

Player 388 grabbed your elbow and you grabbed another handful of his shirt, the two of you booking it. 

Running across the finish line felt like you were running in slow motion, but you felt a wave of relief when you did. You were safe. You were alive. You and your baby made it. 

Your feet caught and tangled on the man’s and the two of you went down, though your fall was cushioned by his body. It didn’t stop the twinge of pain in your abdomen, however, and you feared that the fall might be the thing that does you in, until your mind focused back onto the playing field. 

Other players either made it across the finish lines themselves or they were promptly shot and killed. Your eyes were glued on the merciless scene, and your own pains were momentarily forgotten, until you broke yourself out of the spell. 

You looked down to your body and Player 388’s, tangled together on the ground. His hand was still on your elbow, and only in that second did he lighten his grip. There might be a bruise later on, but you didn’t care. He saved your life.. 

You looked at his face. His mouth was slightly agape, giving a far-off expression, like he wasn’t there anymore. His dark hair was swept back in a sweaty ponytail but strands of his hair were falling on his forehead. You had to resist the urge to reach up and brush it out of his face. You didn’t want to spook him so you kept your hands to yourself. 

There was one last gunshot, and you saw his face flinch, taking him out of his far-away expression and he met your eyes with his dark ones. 

His grip on your arm tightens. “Are you okay?” He asks softly, his eyes casting down to your stomach for only a second. His hand moved to rest on your upper arm. “Are you both okay?”

You cradle your belly and quickly nod. “Yes, thank you. You really saved my ass out there. I thought it was all a game, until…” You couldn’t say it out loud. Instead, you brought your hand to your mouth, fighting choked up tears. Everything was catching up to you, making you feel overwhelmed. You were sure he was feeling the same way. 

His fingers cupped the back of your neck, tugging you forward. You lean your forehead against his shoulder, and he moves his hand to your trembling shoulders to comfort you. You stayed there momentarily but finally pulled back to look at his face, to take in him fully. You were drawn to the sharp yet somehow soft lines of his face. His hair was dark and so were his eyes as they bore down into your soul, almost touching you in your heart in a way no one else’s had before. You were used to expressions of fury, or the scrunched up eyebrows of someone who was screaming at you. This face was different. It brought you comfort when you most needed it. 

You continued, forcing yourself to snap out of the trance this man had you under, “You could have left me out there when that man said for everyone to get into lines. You didn’t have to risk your life for mine.” Yet he did.

“What kind of man, let alone Marine, would I be if I left a mother and her unborn baby out in danger? A piece of shit…That’s the kind of man I would be. Here, let me help you up.”

Player 388 had to untangle your bodies before he could stand. He helped you up by pulling you up by your forearms, then stabilized you when you faltered.

You were about to thank him when the guards led everyone back to the exit. A lot of the other players didn’t hesitate and listened immediately, rushing for the exit. Player 388 wrapped an arm around your waist, hand resting against the edge of your pregnant belly. “Let’s go. I have a feeling we shouldn’t piss these guys off.”

“Yeah…They’re the ones with the guns.”

“Agreed.” He nods his head firmly. 

For once, you didn’t mind that a man’s hands were pulling you somewhere. You just wanted out of that damn arena more than anything. It was a bit awkward once you got to the stairs, so he moved behind you to help you up. Still…you had no complaints for now. You weren’t sure if you had enough mental or physical energy to support yourself at this point. You kept your hand on the edge of the stairs and the other on your stomach, pushing yourself beyond today.

“I think we’re close to the dormitory now, then you can rest.” Player 388 said close to your ear. 

“Thank god,” you said gratefully. 

You would have jumped for joy when you saw those big doors if you didn’t have a whole ass baby in your stomach.

“I’m never taking a bed for granted again…” You sighed. 

“You and me both, let’s get you sitting down…” Player 388 walked with you back to the bunks stairs. 

Looking around the room, you couldn’t be sure of the exact number, but you could tell that the crowd was thinned out by at least a hundred or so. Now, you felt like your swollen belly stuck out like a sore thumb. 

The entire atmosphere of the dormitory completely changed, it was worse than a hospital, you felt like you were in a prison. 

Player 388 interrupted your thoughts, “Do you want to stick with me?” He asked softly, “I think the more people we have, the better off we’re going to be…” He looked down at your stomach. He didn’t have to say it out loud, but you knew he was thinking about saying something about protecting the baby. 

As the two of you walked to the bed, you noticed how his arm felt large around your shoulders, he definitely had a lot of muscles. The pair of you looked like a couple, really. The way he was clinging to you probably gave others the impression that he put the baby in you. You didn’t know the man that well, but if he really was as sweet as he was acting right now, then you wouldn’t have let him become your ex. If you were one of the other players staring at you two, you would have thought, what kind of stupid man lets his wife join these games and what kind of stupid bitch would you be to put yourself in that situation too?

Wait, why were you even thinking of this?

Player 388 stared at you, expecting an answer but not rushing to get it out of you.

“...Yes.” You nod. “But I think I need to know your name first.”

The man nods in agreement. “Let’s get you seated first.”

You were touched he was so thoughtful about you and your baby’s wellbeing. 

Bringing you over to the lower bunk’s stairway, the man helped you waddle over and then sit. He shifts, sitting down on your left, his legs slightly apart as he sits. You knew that soon, all the pain and discomfort would catch up to you. For now, you savored the man’s sweet smiles. The sweetest one you had ever seen, especially from a man. 

“What’s your name?” You reminded him. 

Player 388 put a hand over his chest, giving his head a small bow. “I’m Kang Dae-ho.” He raises his hands and puts his fingers out in an exaggerated way, like he was a cat showing its claws. He directs it towards your belly, like he was giving the baby a little game of charades. Your stomach fluttered. 

No wait, that was the baby kicking. 

Gasping, you had to lean back and hold your stomach for a second. 

Dae-ho’s face fell and he looked down to your belly in concern, his hand coming out to touch it but letting it hover instead. “Are you okay⁠—?”

You nod, releasing a strained gasp. “Yeah…She just kicked me in the ribs.” You take his hovering hand and pressed it to your stomach, watching as his eyes widen even more. 

Dae-ho’s eyes lingered on your belly before lifting up to meet your eyes. His hand rubbed your belly up and down, feeling the small kicks against his palm. “You’re having a baby girl…? What’s her name?”

You smiled bashfully. “She doesn’t have a name yet. I figured it would come to me once I see her face for the first time…Mine is…” You told him your name, the two basking in each other’s presence quietly, at least until the doors opened and pink guards with guns marched into the room. 

Something snapped in Dae-ho and immediately he took a protective position in front of you, his arm coming out to completely shield you as if he expected the guards to march right up to the two of you and shoot you specifically. They didn’t, rather, they stood at the opening of the door. There was one guard who stood at the front, a square mask on his face. There were a couple with triangles, instead of the square, with guns standing behind them. You admittedly cowered and gripped the back of Dae-ho’s shirt, feeling the pounding of your and your baby’s hearts like drums beating with one another. 

A vote. That’s what came next from the guards. It was O’s, those who wanted to stay, and X’s, those who wanted to return home. 

Dae-ho had calmed down, but remained by your side, comfortably rubbing your shoulder and sometimes your stomach. 

You thought you would have time to think about your vote, but the main guard announced that they would do it backwards, starting with Player 456. You looked down to the number on your shirt. You were Player 451. You were going to vote within just a few players. 

“Player 451.” 

Soon, you stood and with the help of Dae-ho, you were helped to your feet. He was perfectly willing to take you all the way down the line up to the buttons but you put your hand on his shoulder and shook your head. “I can do this…”

“Okay…” he responded hesitantly. 

You made your way down the line, both hands cradling your belly. The eyes of the other players glared like birds with claws ready to slice at you for picking the wrong choice. Soon you stood in front of the guard, the red and blue buttons appearing much larger than what you thought they would be. You looked to the red X, and then to the blue O. You raised your hand…and pressed O. The blue light shined on your face. 

It was impossible to look up to find Dae-ho in the crowd. You weren’t sure what his choice was going to be. You hadn’t mentioned it to each other. And if he was planning to pick X, then you probably fucked everything up. 

Without looking up, you made your way to the O side and stood next to a stranger, who gave you a side eye, but luckily said nothing. Dae-ho’s number wouldn’t be called for a while. 

When you finally heard it, you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to look up as he made his way down and pressed a button. You heard the noise, but couldn’t register which button it was. 

You didn’t expect a warm and strong arm wrap around your shoulders, pressing you forward. You eyes shot open and you looked up, seeing Dae-ho smile down at you warmly. Your eyes moved down to his chest, and there you saw it…a Blue O patch…He had chosen to stay.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily…” The man mumbled and smiled reassuringly. He pulled you back into his chest, hugging you as tight as he could with your belly in the way. 

You smiled weakly and wrapped your hands behind his shoulder blades, unable to say anything. But you were happy and grateful for him. 

The two of you remained in each other’s arms until voting ended. Thank god, your ankles were about to explode. The guards dismissed themselves, leaving everyone to their own devices. 

“I need to go lay down, please. My body is about to explode.” You laughed weakly. 

“I’ve got ya…” Dae-ho guided you back to the beds with a hand on your lower back. He helped you climb into the first bed you could make it to, and pulled the blankets up to your chest. 

You grabbed at his sleeve before he could pull away. “I might need to go to the restroom later —but for now, I’m just going to sleep. Stay nearby?” At this point, your eyes were already drooping, but you couldn’t take your eyes off his goofy grin as he nodded. 

“Of course. I won’t leave you for a second. I want you to sleep and rest, For you and your baby…” He pressed his forehead to the top of your hair. You fell asleep in his arms, memorizing his warmth and smell.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Chapter 5 - tell him, you fucking asshole!

Warnings: mentions of doctor given drugs, strong language, mentions of wounds, being held at gunpoint again 😭 poor you bro

Series masterlist

You stood next to big john, the drugs from the doctor still giving you a little bit of a high. You rambled on and on about something while he nodded along.

“Wait, so you dated Rafe Cameron?” Big John asked you with a quirked eyebrow, finding it slightly hard to believe.

“Yeah. He was sweet but…” you sighed. “Also an asshole. It’s very on and off with us right now.”

“I mean, he’s a cameron, what’d you expect?”

You sighed, nodding and shrugging.

“What about Sarah? What’s she like?” He asked you, looking at you now, pausing what he was doing.

“She’s super sweet. A lot better than Ward. And Rafe.” You said with a giggle. He just stared at you. “Look, I know you went through a lot with…” you glanced at Ward from afar. “But believe me, she’s not like him at all. Try not to be so hard on her?”

He had a hard time believing you, but just nodded anyways, glancing back at his son and Sarah sitting not too far away, before turning back to you.

“How are you gonna make it up on that leg?” He nodded to the wounded one.

“Oh, I’ll make it. I got kidnapped for this shit, and I ain’t missing out on it.”

It was night now, everyone was asleep. You slept with your head against the floorboards, mouth agape.

You woke up to hear the sound of creaking on the dock, you furrowed an eyebrow, stretching as you sat up, looking around for the source. It was then that you saw a figure at the end, the glow of a phone in his hands. You looked around, everyone was there except for Ward.

You were confused as to what he would be doing on his phone this late and why he was all the way over at the end of the dock.

You woke up with an annoyed groan, murmuring out a “what?” As John B shook your shoulder.

“Get up.” He told you, shoving your bag into your face. You sighed, getting up once again and grabbing your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You grabbed a pain reliever, popping two into your mouth.

“That sites a whole days walk. We gotta get up there before moonrise. If we miss the solstice, then all this was for nothing. So, listen, Sarah, I’m telling you right now, if you fall behind, I ain’t waiting.”

You wondered why he said that sentence directly to Sarah and not you. You shrugged it off, ignoring it.

“Dad. Stop.” John B said to him, slightly embarrassed.

“What? I ain’t. It’s a matter of fact.”

John B stepped onto the dock with you and Sarah. “Sorry about the cranky old man.”

Big John looked at Ward, also stepping onto to the dock.

“I’m gonna go tell that son of a bitch he ain’t coming.”

“Dad, hey-“ John B tried, but he was already walking away and towards Ward.

“Hey, listen, fellas. I’m real sorry, but, uh… I’m not gonna be able to make it up that mountain, not on this leg.”

You wanted to make a joke about how you both were leg twins, the bullet wound in yours and the stab in his. But you just smiled, keeping the comment to yourself.

“I’d be slowing you down, that’s all. So I’m just gonna… hang here. Tell you what, I got a flare gun. If I see Singh come through here, I’ll send up a flare, let you all know he’s coming.” He looked at Sarah. “Least I can do.”

“Thank you.” She said.

“You’re welcome. Good luck.” He nodded.

John B, you and Sarah all began to walk off while Big John stayed for a moment.

“Don’t even think about trying anything, Ward.” Big John warned. “It won’t end well.”

“Just trying to take care of my daughter, John.” He looked at him. “What are you doing with your son?”

“Let’s go, come on.” John B spoke from behind, Big John ignoring Wards words and walking over to the three of you.

The trek up the mountains was treacherous. You had to wind down trees, climb up slopes. Somehow John B was faster than all of you right now.

“Come on, kids.”

“For an old man he walks hella fast.” You groaned, Sarah grabbing your hand and helping you.

“JJ, you were right, that’s Singh and his men. But they’re not looking for us..” Cleo spoke, watching Singh go by on a boat.

“Yeah, they’re moving real quick.” He came to a realization. “They’re looking for John B, Saran and y/n. They’ll know where they’re headed.” He said, standing up. “We gotta go, they’re gonna need us!”

“Stay back, don’t get too close.”

John B fell, you and Sarah going to help him. “Hey, are you good?” She asked him quickly.

“Yeah.” He grunted out.

“C’mon, let’s get a move on!”

John B helped you and Sarah up the slope, Big John still moving.

“Hey, pop, how about we uh, take a breather, you know?”

“How about not? Come on, boy. You guys are slowing me down. We’re losing light.”

“I can’t take this anymore.” John B spoke, turning to you both.

You groaned out. “I know!”

“It’s the only shot we got, come on.” Big John told you both, you sighing. John B went up the the man.

“Hey! Hey. For 30 seconds, can you stop being an asshole?” He breathed out.

“Thirty seconds? I’ve been on this trail my whole life, boy, and we are on the cusp. I got Ward Cameron who tried to kill me, nipping at my heels, his daughter spying on me.” He gritted out.

“You think she’s spying on you?”

Sarah overheard the conversation, breathing out as you had a hand on her shoulder.

“Is he always like this?” She tried to speak a lighthearted joke. You nodded.

“Always has been.”

“Are you really so sure about her? A Cameron? That whole family is trust-challenged, and you know that. So you can stay back here and… babysit your girlfriend and y/n, it’s your choice. I’ll see you at the top.” He pat his back.

John B grabbed Sarah’s hand, you following behind them both.

“Sorry. Cameron’s aren’t really a hiking family.” Sarah said. “If I’m being honest.”

“Sorry about him.” John B nodded up the hill. “He gets a little… obsessive over the treasure.”

Sarah smiled up at the boy. “And you don’t?” She chuckled.

“Stop.” He laughed, you watching the whole thing with a small smile.

“Let’s go, come on.” She said.

“Whoo-hoo!” Big John yelled, looking out over the beautiful mountains. “Come on, take a look at this.”

“Sorry. I had to catch my breath.” Sarah spoke, going over to them.

“Catch it when you get here. Take a look at that.” He pointed to the three rocks on the ground not too far. “We did it, boy.” He looked over to his son. “There she blows.”

His gaze went to his father, and then to Sarah, small smile spreading across his face.

“Come on. Let’s keep trucking.” Big John spoke.

“Now downhill I can do.” You laughed, walking down.

“Whoaaa…” you sighed out.

“Oh my God. It’s just as the legend predicted it. See these four columns here? Mark the cardinal directions. And there it is. The temalacatl.” He pointed to a table in the middle.

“Oh my, I can’t believe it.”

“Oh, it’s as real as the day, boy.” Big John sighed, feeling along the cracks and crevices. “A thousand years of astronomy. Mathematics. Is all contained in this. This proves that the Kalinago were every bit the equal to the Mayans. This… this is gonna rewrite everything. Oh, you see that? This right here.” He pointed to the middle.

“That’s where she goes.”

“Yeah, yeah, get the gnomon out.”

He got it out. “Look at this. This is it, this is the moment, boy.” He put the gnomon slowly over the middle. “Alright, look at this. Please, please, please…”

Big John laughed, the gnomon fitting perfectly. “Yo, listen up, when the moon hits its zenith, that’s when the action starts. Okay, John B, I want you up on translation. Sarah and y/n, gather up some mud. And mark the glyph so we know what to translate.”

You and Sarah got down quickly, grabbing the bowl and putting mud in.

“And be quick about it, okay?”

“Hey, hey. Aye, aye, captain. Relax.” John B muttered.

“We only got one shot at this. I don’t want any back talk, okay?”

“Sar, wanna help me with this?”

“Yeah, of course.”

You all waited, looking at the moon until suddenly, the top of the gnomon started to glow.

“Woah…” you murmured.

“It’s actually working.”

“Okay…”

“Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“Oh, dad, oh guys-“ John B started, one of the glyphs beginning to glow.

“Mark it, mark it, hurry, hurry! Mary it! What’s that?”

“That is the one that looks like a boot.”

You pointed to it on the paper. “Brave traveler.”

“Ah great, brave traveler.”

“Oh, oh, this one?” Sarah asked, another one glowing.

“Wisdom.” You quickly spoke.

“Pay close attention, can’t muck this up. If they shine, mark it, keep translating.”

“Okay, we got it, we got it.”

“There’s two more there.” You pointed out.

“This is… Wealth..” John B pointed to one. “And.. and..”

“Earth.” You told them.

“Earth, earth and wealth. Okay, I think I got this first one sorted. Brave traveler, if you had wisdom, I’ll reveal the wealth of the earth.”

“Wealth of the earth.”

“Wealth of the earth! That’s… that’s El dorado!” Be laughed. “Oh, wait-“

“Something’s happening off the stone-“

“Look, it’s coming off the the gnomon!”

“A horn thing?”

“Patience.” John B told him.

“Patience.” Big John murmured, holding a hand out to you three.

“Whoa, whoa, woah-“

“There, there. Look. That’s wisdom again.”

“Yeah, that’s wisdom.”

“And that’s a tongue…” Sarah pointed.

“Darkness. That one’s darkness.” John B spoke.

“Darkness. Wisdom and darkness.”

“And over there, that’s um, seeker.”

“Seeker…”

“Hey, hey,” John B spoke, seeing another. “Sarah, what is hand? What is hand?”

“I don’t know… I don’t see it on here.” She said, shining his flashlight over the paper.

“Oh, I know this. Hand, hand. Hand- hand means home.” Big John realized.

“Home?”

“It’s showing us the direction to el dorado. It’s showing us the direction to el dorado!” Big John began to walk, before his face fell.

He mumbled, turning back. “Wisdom. Wisdom.”

“What do we got, old man?” John B asked him.

“I… I have no tongue, but I’m always speaking.”

“What does it mean?” Sarah asked.

“I…” he paused, looking up at Sarah now.

“Dad, just spit it out.” John B said.

“I’m- I’m- still working it out.” He told John B, pocketing the notebook.

“Dad, what are you doing?”

“I’ve got all the notes. I… we know which way we’re going. It’s…”

John B turned to Sarah, she was looking back at him. “It’s because I’m here. This is about me, isn’t it?”

“Damn.” You murmured, eyes widening.

Big John looked at her now.

“Big John, I am not my father. And I’m not my brother. You can trust me.”

“She’s not.” You chimed in.

“What does it say? Hey, look at me.” John B snapped. “We all just went through hell and back to get here. Tell me what it says this is what we’re doing, huh? Just gonna use us? Just gonna pull us in and push us out, like you did with mom, with me. Look, now you’re doing it to Sarah!”

“John B, stop-“ Sarah tried.

“No! Tell us what it is! What does it say, dad?! What does it say?!”

“Yea, John! What does it say?” A voice spoke, all of you turning to it.

“No freaking way.” Your mouth went agape, all of you staring at Singh.

“Huh? Tell us all, John! What is the secret of the gnomon?” His hands went to his gun, and he pulled it when Big John began to pull out his own.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, John. I have you surrounded. You’d do best to toss over your gun now!”

People began to crowd in, surrounding you all.

“Careful now, Mr. Routledge. Careful.”

He handed over the gun to one of his men.

“Very good!”

“I thought Ward was gonna send up a flare?” You said.

“Yeah, sure.” Big John scoffed.

“Hey, what did you do with my father?” Sarah yelled up at Singh.

“I’m right here, Sarah! I’m okay! I’m right here.”

“Yo, what the fuck is going on today?” You whispered to yourself. “This feels like a really bad acid trip.”

“Dad. Dad.” She sniffled, walking over. “What did you do?”

“No, no, no, Sarah, I made a deal, Sarah, I had to.”

“A deal?!”

“Yes. I did a favor for Mr. Singh. In return, he’s gonna give me all I want-“

“You think this is favor?!”

“I want you safe! Isn’t that right, Mr. Singh?”

“Mr. Cameron is correct. When we’re finished, you can go with your father. Safe and sound.”

“And you too can live, you know, John, if you just give me what I want!” He shouted. “The way to El dorado!”

“Sorry, Carlos. I can’t do it.”

Ward exhaled.

“And you ain’t gonna kill me… cause I got the treasure. It’s right up here.” He pointed to his head.

“John, John, John, John, John. You know what the Guajiro king did to the slaves that mined el dorado, John?”

“Is this fucking history class now?” You shouted back, Singh deciding to ignore your comment.

“He had them executed, so they could never reveal the secret location, and he did it here, you know, on the stone of Solana. And I think it’s important, very important that we honor tradition!”

Four guards suddenly grabbed you and John B, you whimpering as one roughly grabbed your hair, both of them holding a gun to your head, two of them holding ones to John B’s.

“No..” Sarah whispered.

“So, tell me, John. What does it say?!”

You looked at John B, the same look of fear in his eyes as yours. You swallowed.

“Tell him. Please.” John B spoke.

He stayed silent.

“Fucking tell him, dude! That’s your son!” You yelled at Big John, being silenced when the gun was put on your forehead.

“Make your choice, John!”

“Dad, just tell him.” John B spoke, voice broken.

“John, Jesus, John, tell him!” Ward said, even he could be worried about you and John B.

“Tell him, you fucking asshole! You’re seriously not gonna help your fucking son?!” You shouted, tears running down your face at just the thought of never getting to see your brother again, or Rafe.

Taglist

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow @saintnourah @calmoistorm @ethanthequeefqueen @theoraekenslover @just-levyy

(Orange means I couldn’t tag)

[in1-nutshell]

Brainstorm turns wobbles into a sparkling

Or the wobble starts to hurt wobbles

Going with the sparkling prompt!

(Finals have been kicking my behind so badly...)

Hope you enjoy!

Wobbles gets turned into a sparkling

SFW, Platonic, Slight Romance, Cybertronian reader

MTMTE

Wobbles just wanted to give Brainstorm their thanks for not only fixing their lamp but making it better.

The brilliant scientist had installed a series of soft lullabies, adjusted the lighting setting and made it in their favorite color!

Naturally, Wobbles wanted to do something for him in thanks.

Wobbles knocks and enters the lab. Wobbles: “Hey Brainstorm? Its Wobbles. I was wondering—” Brainstorm: “GET DOWN!” Wobbles: “HUH!?” POW! Wobbles falls onto the ground after a stray light beam hits them straight in the chassis. Brainstorm quickly gets from behind his desk and goes over to where Wobbles was. Brainstorm: “Wobbles? Wobbly? Hey, are you…oh…oh that’s not good…” Wobbles, now a sparkling, is sitting on the floor looking up at him curiously. Brainstorm: “Oh First Aid is not going to like this…”

All Brainstorm was trying to do was figure out what kind of ray gun he made in his sleep depraved state.

Now Wobbles was a sparkling.

Surprising the scientist, Wobbles then stood up… straight and walked to him.

Not wobble but walked!

They weren’t wobbling!

The sparkling looked like a normal sparkling… wait actually they looked more like a speedster sparkling.

But at this stage he wouldn’t have to worry about them running off.

…A silly thought that went out the window the second Wobbles went from 0 to 50 out of the lab.

Since when was Wobbles a speedster!?

Perceptor is in the med bay getting checked up by First Aid. He gets a call from Brainstorm. Perceptor: “Brainstorm if you are stuck upside down again, you are going to have to wait. You know I’m in an appointment.” Brainstorm: “Uh huh yeah, is First Aid with you?” Perceptor puts the call on speaker. Perceptor: “You’re on speaker.” First Aid: “Brainstorm?” Brainstorm: “When were you going to announce that your Amica is a speedster!?” First Aid: “How do you know that?” Perceptor: “Wobbles is a speedster?” First Aid: “That’s not important right now. Brainstorm, how do you know about that?” Brainstorm: “Well… in the hypothetical situation in which I MAY have ACCIDENTALLY reverted Wobbles back to their sparkling form, they may hypothetically be…running around the Lost Light…” First Aid: “…Brain—” CRASH! Whirl pops his helm into the med bay. He points at a passing Ambulon. Whirl: “You sneaky bot! Since when where you and Wobbles going to tell the rest of us that you guys had a sparkling.” Ambulon: “Wobbles had a sparkling!?” First Aid: “I think we found them.”

News about a speedster sparkling quickly goes around the ship.

Only few know that its actually Wobbles.

A fact that gave Ambulon so much relief that he didn’t spark Wobbles and they hid it.

…Though the anxiety came back after finding out the sparkling WAS Wobbles.

Few bots actually managed to find and nearly catch them.

Who knew that speedster sparkling’s had seemingly endless energy to burn.

First Aid personally believed that since the incident, Wobbles had been itching to go fast.

This new, younger and ‘fixed’ form was just what they needed to catch up on so much time without being able to go fast.

Rodimus: “How long has anyone spotted our little fella?” Magnus: “3 hours, 26 minutes and 10 seconds counting.” Drift: “Maybe don’t say that too loud.” Rodimus and Magnus look over at the medical team, specifically First Aid and Ambulon looking the most worried. Rodimus: “Lets just try and focus on returning to the most visited sectors of the ship.” Rodimus goes to give the crew their spots to look at. Meanwhile with someone else… Whirl is sitting on the floor. A very tuckered out sparkling napping in his cockpit. He knows he can tell the others that he found Wobbles trying to get into the medbay. He knows he can tell the others that he found Wobbles 2 hours ago. …But no. Whirl wants chaos.

Eventually Whirl does dramatically find Wobbles from behind a corner.

What was he supposed to do?

He was getting bored.

Definitely not because Ambulon was about to have an anxiety attack and First Aid looked like he was going to snap someone’s helm off.

While the search was happening, Brainstorm, Perceptor and Nautica were working fast to make a ray to return Wobbles back to normal.

There was a bit of discussion about Wobbles wobble and how happy they were without it.

It was ultimately decided that priority number one was to get Wobbles back to their normal self before discussing any other options.

Wobbles wakes up back to normal and wondering why everyone looks so tired and why Ambulon was clinging to them like one of those Earth koala’s… not that they were complaining too much.

A week passes by, and Whirl slips them a couple of pictures he had Rewind take before the ray was finished.

The pictures are in a drawer on the bed stand where two new lamps sit.

Wobbles is now determined to get Brainstorm two drinks.

[draco-after-dark]

Captured and contained

Little info dump on the whole diamond prison thing with regards to my Feral JD AU

So basically what happened when Velvet and Veneer first captured JD in my au is Veneer is always looking for more animals for his little side zoo project. They happened to be doing a photo shoot outside in the woods for a new album cover. Veneer went on a walk to have some alone time and stumbled across a little goblin boy. Aka JD.

"Oooo aren't you a cute little fella, You would be perfect as desk decoration!"

*JD gets snatched*

Later when Veneer tells Velvet he got a new pet and reveals JD. Her initial reaction is "Okay, but where did you even get that thing it's disgusting." JD proceeds to bite Veneer (multiple times) and wriggle himself free from his hands. He then runs rampant through their dressing room until they manage to contain him in a crystal bottle. The only thing they thought was strong enough to hold him. Later down the line when Velvet captures Floyd (basically the same sequence of events as the movie from here) and starts using him for his talent. That's when they realize that JD is actually a troll as well. JD being JD though is as Velvet described "uncooperative" and "savage" so she refuses to use him for his talent and instead tells Veneer "That one can be yours. You're that one that found that thing anyway." So Veneer does end up using JD for his talent just not nearly as often as Velvet does Floyd. JD does still get hit pretty hard by the whole draining thing considering he is grey and unlike the average troll has in a sense "forgotten/lost" his talent. That doesn't stop him from unleashing hell on the twin every chance he gets. Goblin man will do goblin things

Then things follow the movie pretty much the same except Bruce and Clay end up getting captured when they all break into the dressing room to rescue Floyd. Poppy and Branch end up escaping into the rafters. Velvet ends up sticking Clay and Floyd in her shoulder pads and Veneer gets Bruce. Veneer leaves JD behind in his dressing room because he feels guilty and doesn't want to hurt him any more than he has to.

Fast forward to the family harmony scene where although they are technically down a brother and Floyd is still trapped in Velvet's clutches the 3 brothers and pop sisters sing on anyway. The family harmony DOES end up working to free Floyd and also JD. I'm playing this off on the idea that despite JD not being present physically he could feel the connection to his brothers and their desperation to help Floyd. JD wants the same thing, to free Floyd and that is what connects them all together. It's like Branch said "We don't have to be perfect to be in harmony, We just have to be as we are." (just go with it ok IDK) Once the diamonds are shattered JD is pretty worst for wear, unlike Floyd he doesn't have anyone to support him right off the bat. He is used to being on his own at this point tho and only cares about getting Floyd out. He tucks himself away into a corner of the room behind some furniture to hide and rest up till he can get the both of them out of this hell hole.

Mind you only Floyd knows that he's also being held captive somewhere backstage when all this is happening. So once Floyd regains consciousness and has a chance to take a moment with his brothers. he then immediately goes into full anxiety mode well explaining that they have to get to JD. The others confused about what he's talking about don't believe him at first, but do end up helping Floyd backstage since he keeps insisting that JD needs them. They do end up finding JD and that's where the real story begins.

:D

Hopefully this makes sense? I ain't no writer sorry people

Little bonus scene

"Hey Vel does this look infected to you???"

"I can't believe we're related... CRIMP SCHEDULE A HOSPITAL VISIT BECAUSE MY IDIOT OF A BROTHER GOT BITTEN BY A FUCKING RAT!"

[anistarrose]

coming down with lich allergies

When Merle wakes up from his afternoon nap, duty immediately calls. First aid in the sickbay, to be precise — not on a person, but on the emotional support succulent that Davenport, bless him, overwatered just a fuck ton. The healing energy in the sickbay, that mood for recovering, just wouldn’t be the same without Merle’s garden, even though no one else on the ship believes him, their goddamn doctor — so a flat-out dying plant, well, Merle just can’t have something that.

He pops on a record for it to listen to, and drains the excess water off, giving the poor thing a little magical boost too, for good measure. He’s feeling pretty pleased with the result, about to step back and admire his handiwork, when just his luck, a new problem pops up like bamboo shoots out of nowhere — but like yellowed, sickly shoots, to be clear. ‘Cause it’s a whiff of something necrotic on the air.

And… it’s weird. ‘Cause at first glance, Merle doesn’t see any plants decaying —

So maybe it’s not quite a smell, after all. More like a permeating feeling — of death, nearby and approaching. The aura crackles as it comes into contact with his holy magic, that blessing Pan imparted to his veins — his nose still included, though, which is why it all culminates in making him — making him —

“A-chooo!”

“Salúd, my man, geez! There you are!” Before Merle can even recover, Lup sticks her head out from behind the elephant ear plant. Pan almighty, Merle was too distracted to even hear her footsteps. “I swear, Merle, you’re letting it turn into a jungle in here —”

“A hardworking jungle! These fellas filter the air, boost morale — they’re your teammates too, so show ‘em some respect!” Merle rubs his nose and shakes his head back and forth, getting those dang nasal aftershocks out of his system. There better not be a headache coming on. “Plus, the patients — choo! — the patients love it! And certain people say I’m not allowed to keep plants in my room anymore anyway, so —”

“Oh, yuck. Don’t remind me why we said that,” Lup groans, stepping out of the foliage — but immediately, she winces and lets out a hiss, lifting up a big leaf to shield her eyes. “So do I dare ask since when it’s so damn bright in here, for that matter?”

(keep reading on ao3!)

[dr-spectre]

Helloooo, just saw the big ol Callie rant and thought I’d share my (albeit not as detailed) thoughts cause the first Splatoon game I played was Splatoon 2 and I took my sweet time on the story mode.

Despite her being your main companion throughout the story mode, I found Marie’s spiteful and clearly discriminatory language towards the Octarians to be consistent overkill, while she was obviously mad about Callie “going missing”, these fellas were only doing their jobs and it was painfully clear that Marie had an inherent dislike for their entire species. Since I hadn’t seen Craig Cuttlefish before I didn’t know that this discrimination came from him, with a distinct parallel between their jabs (aggression being directed and focussed at the Octarian species at a whole rather than the reason you’re here in the first place) and with the fact that I was the one barging in and committing wanton destruction and violence in their territory the universal hate felt incredibly undeserved.

As for Callie, no Squid Sisters songs feel so authentic and genuine as the ones made in Octo Canyon. Even Bomb Rush Blush isn’t trying to sound perfect for any pop lover’s fragile little ears, it’s erratic and fills every silence like a one sided argument. With each song sounding like a vent album and the art showing Callie to be miserable and having to desperately hide it on the surface, she’s seemingly using her distance from Inklings as an opportunity to be completely outwardly honest and express the deeper emotions that wouldn’t be accepted in the media she’s surrounded by. Rather than “I REMEMBER!!!” being some ooga booga the cool glasses magic has been dispelled, I saw it more as Callie accepting these emotions she’d kept from expressing and realising her lifestyle and family meant enough to her that it would be more worth it to try and work through those feelings with them rather than use an outlet that worries them. Additionally, she has quite the opposite view on Octarians to Marie, finding them consistently cute and clearly still being friends with Octavio as they collaborated during the Low Water Party after the events of Octo Expansion (discreet lore but it shows she truly had an enjoyable time there!)

Now I could ramble about DJ Octavio for hours so I will cut this short, while - as you mentioned - Octavio was helping Callie escape the stress of her lifestyle in the interest of his own species, (uh oh the can of worms is threatening to open) insert the fact that Octavio winning means species equality through political negotiations put off for hundreds of years. I know! Oh goodness gracious how terrifying! The spicy beats man has used drastic measures due to neglect and forced poverty of a substantially sized society through giving stressed squid sanctuary! Next he might use his technological advancements in energy efficiency to revolutionise our industrial infrastructure- SHIELD YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!!

oh hey! cheers for reading the full thing!

Oh... oh damn... you just plopped your own rant in here, jesus.

I respect it honestly, i respect the hustle.

You know what's kinda crazy? From my knowledge and what people say online, Marie's hatred for Octarians as a species is a NoA localisation thing and not something in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2. I could be wrong on that but that's just something I've heard in the grapevine.

Yet another example of poor localisation due to deadlines and rushed development cycles!!! ISNT IT SO FUN HOW IT KEEPS OCCURRING AND HOW PEOPLE BELIEVE IT INCLUDING LOUD VOICES IN THE COMMUNITY AND WIKIS TAKING THE NOA VERSIONS AS THE HOLY GRAIL?!?!?! SO FUN!!!!

(Massive fucking sarcasm.)

I dont have much else to say in response to your ask but, I wanna touch on DJ Octavio for a bit because I think the way that Nintendo treats him as well as the fanbase treats him kinda fucking sucks and flips flops between different personalities and actions he's done.

I swear to god people have such different takes on his personality and what he's done over the three games and it's a real headache to deal with. And the way that a lot of people talk about what he did in Splatoon 2 and the suggestions people say.... ugh... they make him so unredeemable and disgusting.

In Splatoon 1, depending on if you play the NoA version or European/Japanese version, he's either very silly and in your face, making musical puns and being a loud mouth. Or he's trying to be intimating and he gets to the point in his dialogue instead of making musical puns.

The worst things he did in that game was kidnap Cuttlefish and tie him up as bait to fight Agent 3, and stealing the power source for the Inklings. Cuttlefish is a frail old man and Octavio has anger towards him, so it makes sense he would go after him and snatch him up.

And then in Splatoon 2, people wanna fucking say that Octavio kidnapped Callie and brainwashed her, removing all of her memories and making her into a slave for the Octarian army... LIKE... WHAT?!?!?! OCTAVIO IN SPLATOON 1 WASNT THAT EVIL!!! WHY DO PEOPLE SUDDENLY SAY HE DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY UNREDEEMABLE LIKE THAT?!?! WHY DOES NINTENDO PUSH THAT SHIT TOO?!?! ITS SO ANNOYING!!!!

AND PEOPLE BRING UP THIS PIECE OF CONCEPT ART TOO AND GUYS!!! ITS JUST FUCKING CONCEPT ART!!! ITS NOT CANON!! THERES NO EVIDENCE TO PROVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN THE REMATCH FIGHTS!!! YOU BRAIN DEAD SONS OF-

You can't just go from "im gonna use Cuttlefish as bait because I hate that guy!" To "neheheh, when Callie isn't looking... I'm gonna grab her and brainwash her!" And then to "IM GONNA GET THAT OLD BASTARD AGAIN! HE TOOK MY ARMY!!!" You can't flip flop between silly old guy wanting vengeance against his lover to enemy Cuttlefish, to a malicious beast that kidnaps young women dude. You can't just do that.

You see the issue here? People give Octavio this ultra dark stain on his legacy and I think it ultimately ruins his redemption in Splatoon 3. He did something unredeemable and you cannot go back from that.

It makes more logical sense for Octavio to use his abilities of propaganda and manipulation out of desperation to convince Callie to join him. Octavio is a general and does things out of rage and vengeance from the past. He is not malicious in his actions and a lot of them can be justifiable. It makes more sense for Octavio to go "I need Callie because my peeps are dying, I'll convince her to join me and then I'll hypnotise her so she's more comfortable in the Octo Canyon to help my troops!"

Octavio is still obviously in the wrong for hypnotising Callie, duh. But, like I've said a trillion times, hypnosis isn't mind control, you cannot force someone to do something against their knowledge and morals. So it's more justifiable for Octavio to hypnotise Callie than to literally kidnap her and brainwash her while she was kicking and screaming, trying to stop him. Okay? WE GOOD SPLATOON COMMUNITY?!?!?!

Ugh.

[unformula1]

i’ll never forget you (LS2 x OP81)

the voices get stronger. w/c: 787 day 22 of LOSCAR POSTS until we get a LOSCAR PODIUM (series masterlist) masterlist part 2 of "changed"

It all came crashing down, falling apart at the seams. Thunder came rumbling and the dark days settled in.

Logan can’t believe it, everything doesn’t make sense. He wants to convince himself he’s in a nightmare and he’d wake up for everything to be okay again. He wants to go back to where everything was alright and it all made sense for him.

How did him and Oscar go from deep late night talks to one-sided stolen glances? Logan can’t believe how much things have changed and he doesn’t want to believe things have changed this much.

He wants it all to go back to normal and for Oscar to smile at him again.

-----

Logan sits down in his driver’s room, leaning against the hard walls. It’s just him and his thoughts. They’re haunting, to say the least.

He racks his brain trying to figure out where it all went wrong and what he did wrong for Oscar to not even acknowledge him.

“Hi.” Logan says, raising his hand slightly to wave.

“Hello Logan.” Oscar says as he pats Logan on the shoulder, “How have you been?”

“Alright. I saw your lap time, was pretty good, huh.” Logan says, trying to sound less awkward.

“Yea,” Oscar says as he chuckles slightly, “I saw your driving style today, I see you tried something different yea?”

“Mhm…” 

Logan is about to continue before Lando slots himself into their conversation.

“Hi fellas!” Lando says energetically.

“Hey Lando.” Oscar says as Lando sets himself in between Logan and Oscar.

Oscar eventually turns his focus to Lando which effectively cuts Logan off from the conversation.

Logan subtly excuses himself and slides back to Alex’s side since it’s pretty much the only way he won’t be excluded at this point.

Right…

He hates remembering that moment. The crystal clear, shiny, diamond-like memory that resurfaces every single time he feels left out. 

Because he isn’t the first choice when it comes to Oscar, he isn’t anymore. Sure he used to be the first choice but not anymore, he got replaced quickly with someone even better, with someone Logan couldn’t even be half of.

Lando Norris.

He doesn’t hate Lando, he can’t but it stings hard every single time he remembers Oscar choosing Lando over him.

Logan: are you free tomorrow night or something? for our monthly meetup :) Oscar: mate i’m sorry lando and i have something up Logan: oh it’s okay Oscar: we can schedule something next month alright Logan: okay

It strikes like a dagger to the chest, twisting with every second moving forward.

Logan sits on the bench in his drivers room, fiddling with his shirt before picking up his phone and opening Instagram. 

And as if he couldn’t have any good moments, the first video that pops up is a McLaren video. Specifically the McLaren video he saw Oscar and Lando filming.

He reloads the page instantly and closes the app.

His hands clutch tightly onto his phone as he feels his stomach tie itself into a knot. 

He doesn’t know what consumes him but something makes him open his messages and scroll down to Oscar’s contact. He glances at it for a few seconds before clicking onto it.

The last message was aeons ago. He doesn’t know what he intends to do with this but he stares at it blankly.

His fingers hover over the keyboard, but he doesn’t type anything. 

He scrolls up, all the way up to their old messages. Their happier days.

His phone lags slightly from loading all the messages but he eventually gets to those days where they messages hourly, updating each other on the most irrelevant things that happened to them.

He never thought it would end.

But here he was, crying in his driver’s room reminiscing about those days.

A tear drops onto his phone screen and he wipes it off quickly but it leaves a stain. A stain on the phone screen, a stain over the words “never” in the text message “I’ll never forget you”

I’ll forget you.

It’s like the universe’s largest sign thrown onto Logan’s face.

He can’t do this any longer. He breaks out into sobs. He hates his life right now.

He sends a punch into the bench’s cushions and cries even more.

The voices in his head repeat how he’s a failure, an outcast, a disappointment. They replay flashbacks of Logan and Oscar’s relationship falling apart, like a sick horror film on repeat. They shout endlessly into Logan’s ears about how he messed up and it’s his fault.

There’s a reason Oscar doesn’t talk to you anymore.

Everyone hates you to their guts, everyone.

You are a disappointment.

People don’t like you.

You’re an outcast.

Failure.

[ghoulphile]

I am RATTLING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE WITH EXCITEMENT!!!! do you have an idea of when the chapter will be up???

this is me rn:

and.... bc i love you, here's a treat ❤️~

Then broad palms slide beneath the rucked up hem.

The calloused fingers of one hand chart a path up the line of your stocking, Cooper’s blunt nails skipping across nylon until sheer fabric blends into a delicate dusting of lace covered elastic. The other cups your thigh, his thumb tucking under the garter strap to caress an angry indent.

You tremble.

“Soft and pretty; how the hell’d an old fella like me get so goddamn lucky?”

At the drag of roughened skin, your clit twitches. Meanwhile, goosebumps prickle down your bare arms, baby hairs standing on end as axons fizz and pop. You sigh. “Cooper — oh, I need you — please.”

“That’s it,” he encourages. “Keep talking to me, sugar.”

The unexpected drag of a forefinger over the front of your panties catches you off guard, sends you reeling as a bitten off mewl tears itself from your throat. Your hands shake as you struggle to restrain yourself, hyperaware of the tranquil silence of the apartment interrupted only by an occasional murmur of the TV from down the hall.

“Don’t! I - I can’t--”

Even though the fabric keeps Cooper from touching bare skin, the grind of his knuckles along your pussy feels like a punch to the gut. Your toes curl and your hands yank at the roots of his hair. “Hhn!”

“Thought you said you could keep quiet. Did you lie to me, sweetheart?”

“No, I promise I can. Just not when you d-do things like that…”

His brow quirks. “Why don’t we put that to the test then?”

“Cooper, what’re you — hng! S-Shit, I--!”

He circles the swollen nub of your clit with his thumb, humming in approval when it twitches against the pad of his finger before inching down to the damp seat of your panties. “Fuck, you’re soaked. I can’t believe you’re letting me touch you like this.”

As he plays with the sticky evidence of your arousal, tracing your folds and teasing at your entrance, shame burns quick and bright. Coils behind your navel, a viper in the shade, as little sparks of black thread through blooming passion.

Bastard.

You sniffle, glaring at him through teary eyes. “You said you wouldn’t tease.”

Tiny aftershocks rock through your frame as your legs clamp around his flexing wrist; nerve endings raw and exposed. The languid strokes of his fingers are tantamount to torture.

You’re going to burn up, supernova bright, if he doesn’t stop.

Who knew being silent was so hard?

You’d never struggled before (then again, maybe that says something about the sex you’ve been having) but Janey’s a room away. There’s no other choice, and you’ve wanted this for too long to stop now.

“Well, now, I don’t recall making any promises.”

Cooper smiles, pulling back the hood of your clit through the thin layer of ruined fabric with startling accuracy. His palms stop the squirm of your hips as you try to arch away, electric shocks lancing through you at the rough friction against exposed nerves.

“Guess I can’t seem to help myself. It’s your fault for looking so pretty.”

He’s the furthest from apologetic.

In fact, his voice is low and whiskey rough — full of grit and gravel.

It scrapes down your spine, sinks into your bones. Makes your eyes squeeze shut as you chew on the fat of your lip. A fever creeps up the sides of your neck, settles into the apples of your cheeks; the skin swollen and tight like a sunburn.

A shaky noise of disbelief tumbles from your mouth.

“Don’t lie,” you mumble, your hands flying up to cover your face. His chest vibrates with a snicker and your shoulders tuck towards your ears, elbows drawn into your ribs. “I know you’re loving this, Mr. Howard.”

Cooper groans.

When you peek through splayed fingers, your breath catches.

White lightning. Silken heat.

His dark gaze rests past your chin, caressing the compressed swell of your breasts with avarice. Your arms pushed them up past the neckline of your sundress, the dainty trim of lace mere inches away from exposing your nipples.

“Well, well, well. Looks like I’m not the only one, sweetheart.”

A hand extricates itself from the skirt, snaking up your torso to palm over a curve of exposed skin, fingertips testing the plush weight of your chest with a gentle squeeze. “How long were you planning on this happening, huh?”

“I--”

“Ah,” Cooper tsks, dragging his thumb over where your nipple is, “None of that now. An honest question deserves a proper answer, don’t you think?”

Your hands press on the back of his to strengthen his touch. White static dances along your nerve endings, your nipple pulling into a tight peak as a fluttery sensation roosts in the valley between your hips.

“Since,” your lips tremble on an exhale, and when you swallow, it feels like shards of glass, “since the beginning… Was waiting for the day you’d look at me — see me. Nothing worked, and I almost gave up. But then I caught you staring, and I — Coop, please.”

[rainworld-fandom-positive]

Rain World: The Watcher Final Thoughts

STOP: This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the entirety of The Watcher DLC, play the game before continuing or continue if you don't really care about that

The Watcher. Probably one of the games/dlc I have been most anxious to get my hands on and play, and one I have played pretty much nonstop for a whole week.

So what did I think?

Hmm, well, I don't really know? It's a bit of a mixed bag of really really positive things and really really negative things, as well as some nitpicky bitchy whining (let me complain now, I'll be an adult about things later)

That is not to say I did not enjoy the dlc or that I think that the dlc is bad, I just feel like its missing something and I can't quite put my finger on it. Now I know this isn't all we're getting; there will be more at some point and maybe my opinions will change on a second playthrough/when I play the game when it comes to console but for now it feels... I'm not sure.

In terms of scale, the dlc is massive, with several expansive regions and some incredible environments, for sure, but there's also something so empty about those as well. Aether Ridge, Coral Caves both feel fine on their own as mods in my opinion, but seeing them chopped up into several pieces (I didn't mind so much with Stormy Coast, Shrouded Coast and the other pieces of that region because I feel like that did work due to the different instances of that region) it felt kind of tiring. I can't count how many times I ended up in some subregion of Aether Ridge and just sighed out loud.

Honestly I have no problem with AE itself but I do agree it is a lot and it felt almost like cheating to have several of the many regions be the same one cut into bits. It feels incredibly hard to miss things there due to how punishing the environment is, and believe me it IS punishing, especially if you infect it with rot.

And there's my main problem with the dlc as a whole; the rot. I flip back and forth over if I liked that storyline or not, and right now it is still very ehhhh for me. I feel like the focus was very divided between the rot/The Prince and the echo/Spinning Top, and honestly with how long it took me to explore I'd already forgotten what had been said or what I was even doing. I just feel like both stories don't really fit together for me, like two random pieces thrown together. I did love everything with Spinning Top that, that is my child your honor.

I kind of wish they'd made it that you could only progress from a region once you'd found and spoken to the echo, but I also see how frustraiting that would have been in places like Aether Ridge and Badlands.

I've seen people complain about the lack of handholding here and say that Downpour held your hand so much more than this or base game and I don't think that's very true. Base game/vanilla held your hand a little, you'd have some pop up tutorials such as with the scavenger toll in Garbage Wastes or the jetfish in Shoreline. But it did super well with showing you how things worked through the surroundings.

This is something I feel that the Watcher fumbled a little bit. Yes, you would know to search for the echos upon starting the campaign due to the echo ping you get in that first room, however if you haven't played Saint you wouldn't know what that means at all but on the other hand the game is clearly guiding you in specific directions in the beginning as many familiar regions are completely blocked off. But other than that? You're free to go and do whatever. Nothing explained.

This is both bad AND good. It gives you the freedom to fuck around and find out, but it also punishes you by not knowing. How many of us died to the barnacles/zappy fellas because they trapped up and we couldn't get past? How many of you jumped on top of the sky whale instead of clinging to it's whiskers? How many of you tried running through the locust swarms? I feel like there was a lack of interaction with the new creatures and the environment/other creatures, and it felt like the new things were only there for our benefit/detriment.

I'd see scavengers just casually walking through the locust swarms, no problem and nothing else seemed to be affected by the stinky/drug lizards in Fetid Glen. I've not even seen anything else be attacked by a frog or attempt to ride a sky whale (there were plenty of scavengers in signal towers, and they can climb poles, so it stands to reason they'd be able to grab on too). The only things I've seen are the big moths hunting a vulture and the small moths eating rats, that's it. Oh and that one lizard in the mud pit.

It all feels kind of empty.

I wish we had some collectables (maybe in the future we'll get lore pearls we can take to The Prince? I was super excited for more lore) or even something like Spearmaster's broadcasts, or I don't know, just something to discover. I felt like I was running around in circles, seeing nothing, just trying to finish the game and that wasn't fun!

So, overall, did I enjoy the Watcher? Yes and no. Is is good? Yes, but it could have been better and I hope whatever else is coming next does improve this experience for us! I will be doing multiple playthroughs but... yeah.

Yeah.

I'll probably do a post about the different regions/subregions eventually but I just feel kinda... I don't know. Almost disapointed but not quite.

[povlvr]

9. A Sticky Situation | YLGSE

Pairing: Mob Boss! Bucky x Baker Reader

Summary: With two unwanted guests in your bakery & no one to help you, you need to work out how to get yourself out of a sticky situation.

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, some inappropriate thoughts, mob life, guns, can you say kidnapping if the victim isn't a child?

A/N: I can't apologise enough for how long this has taken to finish, I've been so busy at work my brain hasn't had the capacity to be creative.

Graphics by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

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… as you were taking stock of supplies underneath the counter you heard the bell ring, popping your head up to tell whoever it was that you were closing you noticed the empty bakery save for the two gentlemen in pinstripe suits making their way over to you.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up at the sight of them, you remained crouched behind the counter reaching for your phone in your pocket, without even hesitating you called James & somehow managed to shakily mute his end & put the speakerphone on, before slipping it into your apron so that he could hopefully hear what was happening.

You hoped it was nothing & that you were overreacting but seriously why did you tell him to stop following you? & why the hell did he listen? It didn’t take Einstein to work out these two guys were not here for a cupcake & coffee, they didn’t look like they belonged in your pink frilly bakery, their entire auras were dark & menacing & your gut told you they wanted to harm you.

Your intuitions had kept you safe to this point living alone in a city overrun by mobsters & you never ignored them, your dad always taught you that being rude & keeping yourself safe was an easy trade off, if your instincts let you down you could always apologise later but you couldn’t do that if you ended up in harms way by ignoring them for the sake of being polite. 

You hoped & prayed to all the gods, even if you didn’t believe in them, that Bucky would stay on the line long enough to realise you were potentially in danger. You were not a damsel in distress by any means, but you knew your limits & you knew not to mess with these men, precariously you rose from behind the counter to greet them.

‘Afternoon gentlemen, we’re actually closing now so I can’t offer you any coffee, but I could rustle you up a pastry if you’re in the market.’ You tried to sound somewhat confident addressing the two men, plastering on a sweet smile with the attempt to kill them with kindness, although you were sure that old adage didn’t count when your adversaries most definitely carried guns.

With a cold chuckle the tall slender visitor, who looked like he only appeared when the sun went down, piped up, amused at how clueless you were, ‘We ain’t here for food darlin’.’ You noticed his suit hung off his slim frame like it had once fit, his translucent pale skin & hollow cavernous eyes were haunting to look at. 

‘Oh … well then how can I help you fella’s?’ No matter how much you detested it, playing dumb usually helped plump up men’s egos, if they underestimated you knew there would be a chance you could delay whatever they were here for, at least long enough for Bucky to get to you. 

The two unwanted guests looked at each other not quite believing their luck that Bucky Barnes hadn’t prepared his girl for the inevitability that one of his enemies would come for her & even worse leaving her vulnerable to the wolves at his door. 

‘Thing is darlin’ Jimmy & I heard a few things on the streets & wanted to get to the bottom of it, so we thought we’d keep an eye on ya & couldn’t help but notice all of the flowers you been givin’ away, not the sorta thing you expect with a $4 coffee.’

You forced out a shaky giggle, ‘Hmmm I guess not, but there was an unexpected surplus, so I thought I would share the love with my customers, put a smile on their faces.’ 

‘Well, we heard differently’

‘yeah, we heard the King of Brooklyn had found his Queen.’ 

Your stomach dropped & your intense polishing of the counter with the cloth clutched in your hand ceased, you didn’t like where this was going, you had no idea if Bucky could even hear any of this or if the phone was even still connected but you knew he would get to you if he could. The potential of him not coming to rescue you was a real possibility & somehow you needed to come up with a way to get out of this on your own.

Before you could open your mouth the smaller one interrupted, a dark smirk overtaking his face was chilling you to the bone, he looked the epitome of evil & you wanted nothing more than to run from him. ‘No need to protest that sweetheart.’ You shuddered at the nickname, swiftly moving your hand from the counter when he tried to place his own on top of yours.

‘You see, at first we found that hard to believe that Bucky Barnes was pussy whipped, because everyone knows James Barnes isn’t a one-woman kinda guy, but when we saw him & his crew fill this place up with flowers at the crack of dawn we started to think there might be some truth to it.’

‘Well, looks like you have the wrong end of the stick gentlemen, he is a business associate & it was a thank you gift for arranging a last-minute delivery.’

The tall one laughed, except it didn’t feel at all joyful, ‘I don’t think so sweetheart, nice necklace.’ Your hand on instinct wrapped itself around the emerald pendant, maybe they were robbing you? You didn’t want to part with it, but if the alternative was you getting hurt, you were sure Bucky wouldn’t mind you handing it over to them.

‘Hmmm doesn’t it look familiar you Jimmy?’

‘Yeah, now that you mention it,’ he drummed his fingers on his chin as though he was deep in contemplation on where he had seen it before, ‘it kinda looks like the one his mom used to wear.’

‘That’s where I know it from.’ He acted as though it was some sort of big revelation, when in fact the surprise was written on your face, shit, you didn’t even want to go into why Bucky would give you such a sentimental gift, but you knew they wouldn’t believe any lies you came up with to explain it away.

Trying to be as nonchalant as possible you shrugged, ‘News to me, are you here for any reason in particular?’

‘Thing is sweetheart, your boyfriend & my boss have some outstanding business & your boyfriend isn’t being too forthcoming to sort it out, clearly too busy being distracted by a pretty young thing such as yourself.’

‘So, we thought we’d do him a favour & help focus his attention on what really matters, so you’re going to come with us. No need for a fuss or a fight darlin’, we’ll be real nice to ya as long as you behave.’

The thought of what he was implying made you recoil, your phone felt like a lead weight sat in your apron, to keep as calm as possible you repeatedly told yourself that even if the call didn’t connect, as long as you got away from them you could ring Bucky & he would come & keep you safe, he would keep you safe. 

You weren’t even listening as they rattled on about their boss being pleased, your mind in overdrive with what you were about to do, you let them escort you through the tables towards the exit & your heart felt like a jackhammer in your throat.

Before you were manhandled through the threshold to the car waiting outside, you raised a foot stomping down you heel as hard as you could into the tall man’s foot, then not wasting a second you elbowed the other in the gut with as much force as possible.

With the two momentarily incapacitated you darted back through the bakery throwing whatever you could get your hands on behind you as you ran to try & slow them down, you didn’t have much of a head start but you’d take it. Knowing the place inside out you easily manoeuvred through the tight passageways to your office slamming the door & frantically locking it. You knew the door wouldn’t hold for long, without thinking you somehow gathered the strength to push your desk in front of the door, paperwork flew in every which way from the force of you violently shoving the solid wood towards the entrance, barricading yourself in, hoping beyond hope that it would hold. 

Your hands were trembling pulling your phone out of your apron, in your haste to hear Bucky’s voice you repeatedly fumbled & dropped it, cursing yourself before forcing yourself to take a deep calming breath. Finally, you gathered your phone off the floor relieved seeing that the call was still connected.

‘James.’

‘Bunny, what’s happening, are you ok? where are you?’ He sounded breathless, almost on the precipice of panic.

‘I’m at the bakery, Bucky some guys tried to take me. Come please, they’re trying to get through the door.’ You sounded as terrified as you felt, you wondered if your makeshift barricade would hold for as long as it took for Bucky to get to you.

‘Already on my way Sugar, just hang tight I’m not far, I promise I’ll get to you. Where are …’

The sound of a gun firing stole you from your momentary reverie as one of them began unloading bullets into the door, the scream that left your body would haunt Bucky until the day he died & right there he knew he wouldn’t allow the people who tried to take you any mercy, no questioning, they were dead on sight.

‘Fuck bunny I’ll get to ya, where you hidin’?’

‘In my office. Please hurry.’

‘Just keep yourself away from the door, I promise nothing is gonna happen to you, ok?’

You nodded wishing he would just come crashing through the door & wrap himself around you.

‘Bunny, are you nodding even though I can’t see you?’

‘Yes.’

Cowering in a corner on the floor, trembling whenever the door handle rattled, or a shoulder barged into the wood wasn’t exactly how you thought your day would end but here you were clutching onto the necklace Bucky gave you like it was a lifeline hoping he would get to you before they got through the door.

The Mob Boss was about to combust, every promise he made to himself about keeping you safe he failed on, failed the promise he made to a dead man that very morning that he would keep his daughter from harm. Of the many unforgiveable things he had done in his life, this was the one that would live with him, the sound of your voice on the phone, the utter terror would haunt his nightmares.

When his cell illuminated with your call he couldn’t mask the smile on his face, despite being in a meeting he didn’t hesitate to answer hoping that you weren’t still mad that he bombarded you with flowers.

His heart stopped the moment he heard the fear in your voice & he dismissed the meeting, then began ordering people into action as he ran to his car with his phone pressed to his ear making sure not to miss a single thing said. 

He thought he could hear some commotion on the line after the talking died down & a few grunts, he forced himself to keep going & to not pull over to be sick on the side of the road, he sped up not caring about how fast he was now going or the danger he was putting himself in, he needed to get to you before they did.

Finally, he heard you call his name & he thanked every star in the sky that you had some how gotten away from them, if their focus was on getting you out of your office he knew they would be distracted enough to put a bullet in each of their skulls before they had chance to even know what’s happening.

Pulling up to the bakery he saw their car, ordering his men to destroy it, like a military operation they entered the bakery in absolute silence, Bucky taking lead, walking a well worn path to where the two stood feebly trying to open the door, completely outsmarted & out manoeuvred by his dainty real life angel, it was almost too easy as he stood barrel facing them & as quick as a flash with two clean shots they were on the ground. Exterminated.

You heard more bullets before two loud thuds, then silence. It was unnerving, did they finally give up & leave or go to get more men, you were tempted to look out & see what was happened, but you followed Bucky’s instructions & stayed put, knowing he would be there soon.

A sharp knock on the door broke the silence, ‘Bunny.’

His unmistakable voice steadied your trembling body, you needed to get to him & every second you took was a second too long, without hesitation you ran to the door & began disassembling your panicked barricade, ‘James.’

‘Move the desk Sugar, told you I’d get to you.’

Somehow even exhausted you managed to move the desk back enough so Bucky could squeeze through the gap, he was breathless, eyes darting around the room, assessing the danger, checking everything he needed to in order to calm down after the frantic journey to get to you.

With two long strides he wrapped his big arms around you, engulfing you entirely, the irony that you felt the safest you ever had within the arms of the most dangerous man in the city did occur to you but at that moment you didn’t care, pulling away he began running his hands around your limbs, holding your face, checking every inch of you looking for injuries of any kind.

Satisfied that you were unharmed he leaned his head against yours to calm the overwhelming panic your phone call had induced, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how you were feeling.

‘Hi’

‘Hi’

Without pause he connected your mouths in a fiery kiss, his grip tight on the back of your head as though he was absolutely making sure you were ok & still there with him. Not thinking straight, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped or from pushing yourself against him, you needed him closer & to never let you go, it was stupid, but your body craved the safety of his arms.

Reluctantly, painfully almost, he prised his mouth from yours to give you some air, sheepishly clearing his throat to mask his amusement at your angry little pout, he wanted to kiss it away more than anything but knew better than to take advantage of your need for comfort after what had just happened. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s ok.’

You tried to pull yourself from his grasp & explain to him what happened, but he still wouldn’t let you go, keeping his head firmly against yours, eyes closed, breathing you in, trying to find his way back to the peace your presence usually granted him, ‘Just gimme a sec.’

Finally, he looked into your eyes, you were lost in his the second they connected, still as blue & piercing as ever, just as you were about to tell him what happened when Steve appeared at the door.

‘Everything is secure, you’re good to go. We’ll stay back & make sure everything is cleaned up.’

Remaining completely focused on you he didn’t even look at Steve when he spoke, ‘I want it spotless.’

‘Understood.’

You glanced between the two men not really knowing what they meant, but not having the capacity to think about it you let it go for once, if James said it was taken care of you knew it would be.

Holding your face, he brought your attention back to him noticing you had zoned out, before the adrenaline wore off & you shut down completely he needed to get you to safety, if there were two guys after you, there was no doubt in his mind that more would follow.

‘Come with me Bunny, we’re gonna go back to yours, pack a bag & you’re gonna stay with me for a while, least until I find out who sent them guys.’

‘What no, that’s so unnecessary.’

‘Sugar, these guys are bad news, there will be more if they know about you.’

His voice faltered, as if he was struggling to even verbalise the danger you were in. ‘Please, please let me keep you safe. Do you trust me?’

Hmm trust him? To keep you safe yes, absolutely, trust him not to break your heart, you weren’t so sure. Maybe it wasn’t the time to clarify your answer with him, so you just nodded, ‘Yes, I trust you James.’

‘Good, so please trust that I know best.’

Again, you nodded.

‘We’ll get to my house, get some dinner in you, then we will regroup & come up with a plan.’

‘Ok, will Alpine be there?’

‘Of course, she’s misses you Sugar.’

Just as Bucky began to guide you out he realised there would likely still be two dead men outside the office, ‘Bunny, I don’t want you to see out there so I’m gonna pick you up & I want you to keep your eyes closed until I tell you, ok?

You nodded holding out your arms to him without hesitation, a sight he would have killed to see 24 hours ago but now it filled him full of guilt & sadness that you had been traumatised in order for it to happen, you jumped up wrapping yourself like a little koala in his arms tucking yourself into his neck as he effortlessly carried you out into the night & into the car waiting outside.

It felt like some sort of manic house raid when you got to your apartment, bags were swiftly located & your possessions tossed in, from the amount of clothes Bucky was packing you weren’t sure when you would return, so you brought your father’s recipe books & some home comforts that you knew you wouldn’t need but liked to have near.

With a deep sigh you zipped up the final bag ready to leave behind your life, Bucky gathered them all in his hand despite your protest that you could help him with them, the other hand was entwined with your own, ‘if you need anything else I can always send one of my men over to get it ok Bunny. Or you could finally let me spoil ya silly & buy you whatever you want.’

He gently pressed his lips to your temple at the tiny smile he managed to coax from you, he could tell you were in shock from how quiet you had been since he got to you, so he just made sure to be close but not overbearing & let you work through it all.  

Taking your keys from you to lock up, you instinctively wrapped your arms around him for some comfort, you knew you were in this mess because of him but you absolutely knew to your core that he would handle it. In the grand scheme of your life you hadn’t known him very long, but you knew him enough to know you would be safest with him.

Pulling up to Bucky’s estate a second time didn’t seem as daunting & the thought of living with him didn’t faze you at all, ‘Home sweet home.’ He lifted your connected hands to his lips, trying to reassure you, he would be thrilled with you staying with him but under the circumstances he was trying to keep his rage suppressed in your presence that someone would dare try & take you, he hadn’t even begun to apologise for this happening to you, he needed to take decisive action. 

Sam was at the house waiting on your arrival, you giggled at Bucky darting out of the car & have a hand slapping standoff with his friend in an attempt at trying to be the one to open your door, he won, of course & held out his hand to guide you out of the car.

‘Can you get Bun’s bags & put them in the room next to mine please. Come on Sugar let’s get you something to eat. Alpine’s gonna love having a new roommate.’

You took his outstretched hand, appreciating the coy smile on his face, as he led you through to the kitchen you noticed the hive of activity in the vicinity of his office, spotting your attention on them he put his palm on your lower back & guided you away from anything you could potentially hear. ‘Ignore them Darlin’, I’ll set you some food & then I have some business to take care of. I’ll make sure they’re out of our hair in no time.’

The fillets of salmon were sizzling away on the griddle pan once you returned to the kitchen, you had excused yourself to change out of your work clothes into your overpriced cashmere loungewear, the comfort of some familiarity in a foreign environment felt like it would soothe your overwhelmed brain. 

Noticing how zoned out you still were Bucky turned back to the stove reducing the heat, you hadn’t even noticed him approaching let alone the sound of Sinatra playing until his deep gravelly voice pulled you from your reverie, ‘Dance with me Bunny.’

A whisper of a smile crossed your face & as he held out his hand & you looked like you were coming back up to the surface accepting his invitation, your head tucked perfectly under his chin as you swayed on the on the spot, like you were made to dance with him. You always felt so protected in his arms, the warmth & safety of his embrace was all it took to open up, ‘they said their boss had some business with you, but you were too distracted with me, so they were taking care of it.’

Your voice was so quiet, he held you that little bit tighter for it, ‘I’m so fucking sorry Bunny, I swore I would keep you safe & I didn’t.’

‘I’m here aren’t I? Safe & Sound.’ You looked up at him resting your chin to his chest.

‘Not because of me, what did you do to them?’

‘I took some classes on women’s self-defence last summer at the YMCA, I kept calm & waited until they tried to get me out the door, I stomped on one guys foot & then elbowed the other & ran.’

He looked down on proud face lighting up at the sight, ‘You’re so fucking smart, you know that, even calling me as soon as you did.’

‘Well I knew they looked evil I just trusted my gut.’

‘Why did you call me?’

‘I knew you’d come & keep me safe.’

‘Always Sugar.’

‘You got to me quickly.’

‘Not quick enough Bunny, couldn’t fucking breathe listening to it. Nearly shot someone who got in my way.’

You gasped, hoping no one came to harm because of you.

‘Knew you wouldn’t like it if I did, so just punched him.’

You giggled & it was like the heavens opened & angels sung to him, ‘That’s ok then.’

‘See, knew you’d understand.’ He gently moved some hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear & you couldn’t help but swoon with how delicate he always seemed to be with you. On your tip toes you reached up to place a kiss on his cheek, despite all the kissing you had previously shared the blush on his skin was unmistakable.

You managed to pull yourself together before you did anything too stupid in order to calm your racing mind, ‘So, what’s the plan?’

‘We have our dinner, you go, shower & do whatever you need to do to feel ok.’

‘I feel ok like this.’

‘Dancing?’

‘With you.’

‘Then I’ll do my best to keep close, if I can’t be, you’ll be surrounded by people who will lay down their lives before any harm comes to you, just like I will.’ An effortless twirl in his arms really didn’t help the swooning & you weren’t sure if your legs would give out any minute, but you knew he would catch you when they did.

‘I don’t want anyone hurt because of me.’

‘It won’t come to that, In the mean time you stay here, I can’t risk you going to the bakery, out in the open.’

Your brow furrowed at the thought, you mind in overdrive yet again, ‘But I can’t close.’

‘I will take care of everything.’

‘But…’ 

He cut you off with his thumb over your lip, ‘Please, please let me take care of you, of your business. Take this time to actually rest & it will be right there when this is all over.’

The pleading in his eyes was all it took for you to agree with a firm nod, ‘When will it be all over?’

‘When I find out who sent those two men, when I find him & kill him for trying to take my girl from me.’

‘Bucky ... I’m not…’

‘I know Sugar, I know you’re not my girl … yet.’

He pulled you in selfishly, connecting you to him & yet again you did nothing but comply, he savoured your taste & reassured that you were safe & taken care of. 

When your lips parted, you couldn’t help repeating his words.

‘Yet.’

Never had Bucky ever wanted to be somewhere less, he kept trying to subtly watch the live CCTV of you cuddled up to Alpine watching a movie in the snug but being interrupted with business at hand was irritating him no end, he should be right there with you holding both his girls close & enjoying a Saturday at home, instead he was sat with his crew drawing up plans to take down Pierce once & for all.

He was more determined than ever to do right by you, having someone to come home to every night had been a revelation, walking in on you in the kitchen at various stages of your baking process never failed to put a smile on his face. You said you were bored & wanted to test out new ideas, so Bucky had every type of ingredient he could source stocked in the pantry for you to work with & would often find you talking to security getting their feedback on your creations.

The bakery was running smoothly with Yelena, MJ & Peter plus one of the finest pastry chefs flown in from Paris who meticulously followed your recipes, you had begged Bucky for him not to be ‘too good’ so your regulars wouldn’t get used to having a ‘real baker’ making their pastries. You refused to entertain his argument that yours were just as good as any trained chef, he would argue until he was blue in the face to get you to believe him but relented & made you write down your recipes for the ‘proper chef’ to ‘lower himself to’, you didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched whenever you talked yourself down.

Still, he looked forward to the minute he could leave the office each day & almost shot Steve at one point when he asked him a convoluted question at 5pm expecting him to come up with a detailed answer, he didn’t miss the smirk on the punk’s face when it was a very brief sentence followed by him rushing to get out the door.

Unfortunately, the meeting Bucky was currently enduring was necessary, after days of his scouts out on various missions they were finally ready to formulate a plan to deal with Pierce & if they were strategic the entire organisation could be wiped out in one night, no one comes after his girl & after this was done no one would ever dare again.

An exasperated sigh fell from him as he studied his rough cuticles, letting the men around his desk mutter away whilst his thoughts were consumed by you, ‘Talk to me, what do we know.’

Steve glanced around the table waiting for someone to speak, the blank looks on their faces told him he would be leading this particular operation, ‘The second you shot Malone & Fingers, Pierce went into hiding getting his little bulldog Rumlow to do his dirty work, but Parker & I managed to track one of his men making some suspicious supply drop offs at a place up in Rochester, nice big place surrounded by fences.’

With his eyebrow quirked he quickly weighed up the pro’s & cons of entering the lion’s den, ‘Impenetrable?’

‘Not with Peter hacking the feed & the security system.’ 

‘How many men do we have?’

Sam unusually quiet until this point perked up, ‘Enough to take all of them at once, swarm the place. There’s been some chatter about a meet up, they will be gathered & sitting ducks.’

‘When?’

‘Tomorrow 9pm.’

Running his hand through his hair he let out another sigh, the thought of inevitably losing men weighed on his conscious, but this needed taking care of once & for all, ‘Ok, do what you need to do.’

Steve’s demeanour shifted at the Mob Boss’ apparent detachment from the plans, Bucky Barnes would usually hyperfocus on each detail of an operation until he could recite each split second of the plan, ‘You not joining us?’

‘Who do you think will be putting the bullet between his eyes? I trust you all to handle the rest, have someone collect me from the house on the way. I’ve got other business that requires my attention.’

‘hmm I wonder what.’ Walker was always a thorn in Bucky’s side, there wasn’t a day he didn’t irritate everyone around him, he was a nobody in the organisation but acted like he was the saviour of the new world & 2nd in command at times.

Without pause, Bucky reached for the gun tucked in his belt, before anyone could anticipate his next move the safety was released & he shot one single bullet into his skull, the lifeless body falling to the floor with a thud. He could tolerate a lot from his men, but disrespect wasn’t one of them, his father taught him once you lose that you’ve lost all hope of them following you into battle. It was a warning to the rest that Bucky Barnes might have softened for you, but he was every bit the Mob Boss his reputation warranted.

‘Anyone else got anything to say? … No, I didn’t think so, clean this up.’

Standing against the door frame he watched on as your tongue poked out of the corner of your mouth in full concentration meticulously decorating the decadent eclair with gold leaf. He had informed you of the plans when he got back from the office, despite his business being unsavoury & in complete contrast to yours he had promised to keep you in the loop, even if you didn’t like what came out of his mouth sometimes. 

He had found you & Alpine sprawled out in the snug enjoying a nap with the golden hour sunshine splintering on your face, looking like a real-life angel, he knew that in less than 48 hours you would be back to living your normal life & some part of him wanted to selfishly draw out the whole mess, so he could keep you here longer. 

‘Bunny, what you still doing up?’

Only when you tilted your head to look up at him did he realise you were crying, he was in front of you lifting you up on the counter before you could even wipe away your fallen tears.

He cradled your face in his hands, ‘Hey what’s got you upset?’

You shrugged, ‘just worried I guess.’

Moving to rub your thighs with his warm palms, he needed to soothe & comfort you, his real-life angel being upset wasn’t an option if he could do anything about it, ‘What about Bun?’

‘Tomorrow.’

He sighed, the last thing he wanted was for you to be worried about that. ‘Oh, Sugar there’s absolutely no need, this place will be guarded & you’ll be completely safe.’

You shook your head, ‘No, worried about you.’

‘Worried about me? Thought you’d be glad to be rid of me.’

‘I don’t .. I don’t want you to get hurt.’ You rested your elbows on his shoulders playing with his hair like you always seemed to do when your mind drifted.

‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Wish you’d stay with me instead.’

‘Trust me, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than right next to you, but I need to be the one to do it.’

‘Mob etiquette?’

‘Something like that. Whatchya got there anyway.’

You reached forward picking up the dessert, holding it up to Bucky’s mouth for him to take a bite, the sight was enough to flood your underwear & placing the remainder down on the side you licked the remains from your fingers not missing the way his eyes followed every movement absolutely captivated by you.

You didn’t care about what had gone on anymore, he was all you wanted & you were sick of being on a high horse about something that really didn’t matter, you wanted him. Moving your hand to the back of his neck you pulled him towards you, smashing your lips against his, tasting the sweet cream in his mouth.

You’d probably kissed him every day at one point or another since you were staying with him, but this felt different, it had purpose, you were leaning into him & not holding yourself back as he stood between your legs, his hands on your waist pulling you to the edge of the counter pressing you against him, feeling his abs rubbing your centre.

Your hands made their way down his body, his muscles rippling on contact until you reached the hem of his t-shirt pushing their way under trying to rid him of a layer separating you.

‘Hold on Bunny, hold on one second.’

You draped your arms over his shoulders to pull him back to your lips, ‘James, please, I want you.’

‘No darlin’, not like this.’

You moved your legs up to the counter blocking yourself from him, trying to wiggle out of his grasp as the humiliation rose at his rejection.

‘Hey, hey, I don’t mean I don’t want you, you know I do, but you’re not in the right headspace for decision making & I’m not taking advantage of you when you still haven’t forgiven me for the shit I pulled in that club.’

Again, you draped your arms around him, arching your back as you whispered into his ear, ‘But maybe I have.’

Reciprocating your body language his hands held your back, pressing you against him as he lay a delicate kiss below your ear, ‘Well then if that’s the case, it won’t hurt to wait until this is all done & settled, only then will I accept that you have.’

You reluctantly yielded, it would have been pathetic if you kept pawing at him to get your way, but you knew you’d eventually be grateful that he gave you time to process everything once your horniness subsided. 

Like the gentleman he was turning out to be, he helped you clean up your mess in the kitchen before he walked you to your room, you wanted to ask him to at least stay in your bed tonight but thought better of it in your current state. You couldn’t be held responsible for dry humping him in your sleep, instead you settled for a good night kiss with the promise of new beginnings on the horizon & maybe you would have to take care of the ache between your legs yourself in the meantime.

The tension was at boiling point throughout the day, you tried to be present in the moment spending the day with Bucky but feeling physically sick at the thought of him in harm’s way meant you couldn’t stomach any food or pay attention to whatever movie was on. You instead, paced back & forth in the snug whilst he sat watching you intently telling you to come sit & that everything would be fine, it wasn’t until he pulled you on to his lap that you finally calmed somewhat until the foreboding grandfather clock chimed that it was time. This was it. 

You felt a sense of dread that couldn’t be explained, convincing yourself that he would come back missing a limb or worse & it made you sick to your stomach. When this was all over you told yourself, you would take some time to assess how you were feeling about the man keeping you from harm because the visceral reaction to him suiting up getting ready to leave was overwhelming.

You almost felt as though he was being shipped off to war & you needed to confess all your feelings then & there like it was your last chance, then telling him that you would be waiting for him, hoping & praying he would come back unharmed.

The car pulling up to the front of the house had your lip trembling, you clung to the mobster who looked composed as ever but feeling his racing heart at the thought of leaving you showed his hand. 

‘Try & sleep Bunny I’ll see you in the morning.’

You pulled his face to yours in a desperate kiss & his hands instinctively found your waist to hold you to him, parting was such sweet sorrow, ‘Wake me up when you get in … I’ll sleep in your bed.’

‘Might not leave now if you’re gonna be saying that.’

You giggled & like always it was music to his ears.

As he began walking towards the foyer his arm was draped over your shoulders & his head leaned down with his lips to your ears ‘Got a real important job for ya Bun.’

‘Hmm.’

‘Yeah, there’s a little white kitty around here somewhere, you gotta keep her out of mischief & safe while I’m gone. She doesn’t like her daddy leaving her.’

You let out a deep sigh, ‘Neither do I’.

‘Fuck, Sugar, why you gotta say that.’ He pulled you to him in a tender kind of kiss that you didn’t want to read into, did it feel like a goodbye? Maybe. Did it break your heart a little? Yes, but crying into a guy’s mouth isn’t hot & you somehow kept your composure so that he wouldn’t worry about the state he left you in.

A split second later he marched out the door not looking back, he needed to focus & if he saw you upset he would have marched right back to do anything & everything to make you smile. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he was in love with you.

The drive was tense, he studied the floorplan & strategy being presented to him from the back of the convoy, a simple plan for the others to go ahead & take out any members & leave Pierce for Bucky, he allowed Steve & Sam the pleasure of playing with Rumlow to their heart’s content, but everyone knew the boss was his for the killing.

Pulling up to the estate the CCTV feed was being monitored, Hydra’s entire organisation cooped up in two small rooms & Pierce sat in his office, the whole operation was in place ready for the annihilation of the Mob Boss’ perpetual headache. From the car in front Peter hacked their system with a feedback a loop of their external cameras to mask their arrival, signalling once they could go ahead. 

The first wave of security wasn’t any kind of an issue & removed without breaking a sweat, a silent biometric lock picking later & they had access to the building. Bucky strolled in the place as though his name was on the deeds, the security was pathetic, their arrogance amused him no end & he couldn’t wait to see the look on Pierce’s face as he planted a bullet directly in his skull. 

The sight of his rival’s office doors came into view & as he smugly opened the door with his silencer pointed directly at the chair his stomach dropped, it was empty. He quickly assessed the room, eyes darting back & forth to look for escape routes, secret rooms not on the plans but came up short, he was there mere moments before.

The heckles rose on Bucky's neck from the silence of the place, there should be more noise, bullets, anything. His cool calm demeanour was failing as he searched the room, looking for a clue as to where he went, until Steve ran into the room, he almost sounded muffled as he spoke because the Mob Boss’ whole entire focus laid on the desk he had just walked behind. 

His eyes darted to Steve, the sorrow deeply etched on his face told his lifelong friend that nothing had gone to plan, this was a trap.

Captured in a picture frame stood on his nemesis desk was a photograph of Bucky dancing in his kitchen with the love of his life looking at him as though he painted the entire night’s sky with stars, chilling him to his very soul & he could only manage one word.

‘Bunny.’

Tag list

@matchat3a @hallecarey1 @oliverqueen66-blog@broadwaybabe18@meowmeowyoongles @abaker325 @glows-n-the-dark @barnesml @getofffmydick @omegaevans @cjand10 @pono-pura-vida @stoneyggirl2 @winters1917 @rowaelin4ever12 @theecharlotteyork @saranghaey @ace-27749 

[verdemoun]

there will be a detailed post about dutch van der linde in timewarp in the next 24 hours watch this space but before then The Ex's of Dutch Van Der Linde is an absolute posse

the main trio is annabelle, susan grimshaw and molly o'shea. molly catches up with the girlies more than any other members of VDLs. side tangent i know in my soul grimshaw and molly made up like grimshaw thought she was protecting the gang. molly would be hurt grimshaw actually believed she talked. she was just saying it to get a rise out of dutch. grimshaw would recognize the effect dutch has on the people that love him and be very apologetic for being blinded by the idea of molly talking and putting the gang at risk, and not doing more to help her as she mentally declined in 1899. they made up they're friends shut up let me dream

the first time molly went over for a formal exes of dutch meeting kieran was also there and the sheer panic poor molly felt please please do not tell me dutch slept with the o'driscoll!! he cheated on me with the o'driscoll!!!?! (she doesn't love dutch but she damn well will have another reason to hate him if she's adding cheating to the list)

he didn't!! he was hanging out with annabelle before the meeting. 1. she lowkey forgot he was there because he's so quiet 2. she's holding him hostage in an effort to get hosea to come. they all damned well know 3. it's a surprise tool that'll help us later

it starts off as just a nice wine dinner talking about girlie things bitching about work, modern era life but by the second bottle of wine someone has to break the ice 'remember how fucking annoying it was when dutch put on the gramophone' 'jesus christ yes i still fucking twitch hearing opera' and then it is all out war they are holding the roast of dutch van der linde

it is very stereotypical like they're making fun of how he preens like the pits of fashion they're saying he was bad in bed and things he did that gave them universal ick they're making fun of mangy tobacco pipe breath when he kissed them and all the red flags in hindsight like the gaslighting and the whole time they are still pouring more wine and smoking and getting more and more animated

finally, with the biggest shit-eating grin on her face, annabelle goes up to kieran who's just been sitting there playing on his tablet having a few drinks and zaza and casually asks 'hey kipper what do you think of dutch'

and fellas let me tell you when he's drunk enough to be chatty kieran duffy has Opinions. he will talk so much shit and the girls are just sprawled on the couch drinking wine listening to kieran duffy pace around calling out shit like 'why is dutch such a creep around women has he ever dated a woman older than 25 also what the Hell is his deal with pretending he's a moral superiority 'dutch is a teacher uwu' fucking horseshit half the gang was only so devoted to him because they didn't know anything else and he deliberately picks out people he can mold people to follow his ideals at least colm had the decency not to pretend he cared about people i wanna punch his god damn face so BAD and his moustache is stupid'

the girls are just sitting there snapping their fingers go off kieran he was there for entertainment value the whole time. annabelle just adores him if she could steal one of bessie's boys it would be kieran they have such a special bond as fellow victims of o'driscoll torture. she is his timewarp mom

they put on REAL music out of spite and by real music i mean they are drunk dancing and shout-singing along to 'vampire'. by the time hosea gets there the energy is just so contagious he does join in the 'fuck our ex dutch van der linde' party while bessie is stealing the leftovers. kieran has somehow managed to fall asleep on the couch and bessie quietly sits beside him and has herself a sneaky glass of whisky while the girls + her husband have moved from alternative pop 'i hate my ex' to country 'i'm going to fucking murder my ex'

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 21: Fav Fandom

Believe it or not, I actually had some trouble figuring out what to write for before I abruptly remembered what my profile pic is.

As I warned you all yesterday, this is, in fact, the silliest shit I've ever written in my life. Bear that in mind before reading.

Content: Pokemon, Non-humanoids with hiccups, Cartoony nonsense, being a furry on main.

The GBC, Galar Broadcasting Corporation, presents Pokemon Earth.

Hiccups

Ashenbough: Hello. I'm Professor David Ashenbough. With me as always is field researcher Steve Rowan.

Rowan: G'day mates!

Ashenbough: And this is Pokemon Earth. Hiccups. All humans experience them. But strangely enough, all Pokemon do as well, despite branching out far beyond the mammalian in nature. To what extent and in what way they experience them is as varied as the Pokemon themselves, so Steven and I will be taking a look at some of them today. As always, the first half of our program will feature Pokemon both domestic and wild who have agreed to be on the show, while the second half will feature...attempted candid shots of Pokemon in their natural habitats.

Rowan: Now let's get right into–HICCUP!–it!

...

Ashenbough: Here we see a nest of Marill and Azumarill. Though this stream looks placid, beneath the surface the water runs swift and roiling. In spite of this, you can see these water mice and rabbits swimming upstream and playfully splashing both one another and our hapless camera people.

A POV camera is swum up to by a Marril which then turns around and uses its large, round tail to splash water on the camera.

Rowan: That's 'cause this lovely blue fur of theirs produces natural oils that repel water, making it easier for them to swim through currents, or even bounce along the river's bed! Now! Speaking of bouncing, we have here a nice little group of bubblers and some very very spicy pokeblocks. Here you go, little mates!

A group of Marill and Azumarill gather and nibble at the pokeblocks. Though some immediately run off, others start eating even more quickly.

Ashenbough: Hmm. It seems we have a few here who take quite well to this spiciness.

Rowan: Careful with those ones. Pokemon who like spice tend to be on the strong side! Now remember, even friendly Pokemon like these little guys can be dangerous. And the Marill family specifically is one you don't wanna underestimate! You never know when one of these round little fellas is actually hiding some huge power!

One Azumarill pauses in its eating, then squeaks loudly, bouncing up into the air as it does.

Rowan: Whoa! And speaking of huge power! You okay, little guy?

The Azumarill nods, though it's rapidly bounced again.

Rowan: These fellas got lungs that can hold onto air for hours at a time, so makes sense they got some powerful diaphragms to go with it! And this big girl seems like she knows the move Bounce pretty well! Not surprising, since they can learn it before they get tough enough to evolve.

Ashenbough: While the stronger Azumarill demonstrates her admirable elasticity and buoyancy, the Marills which have not yet trained enough to evolve demonstrate a far less chaotic but no less cute reaction.

The camera focuses in on a pair of Marills, both of which are hiccuping small clusters of bubbles, though one is still trying to eat more pokeblocks around them.

Rowan: Cute, it's true! But be careful! Not all bubbles are safe to pop. You can tell that this little guy's actually using bubblebeam 'cause his are glowing, but his friend's here should be safe.

Rowan pops the bubble over one Marill demonstratively, then steps back before throwing a rock at one of the glowing bubbles, which pops loudly, causing one Marill to jump into the water while the other continues eating. Even from under the water, bubbles rise up at regular intervals.

...

Ashenbough: That a mammalian Pokemon such as the Marill family can catch the hiccups is perhaps not all that surprising. More unusual are hiccups in those who more closely resemble reptiles.

Rowan: Here we've got a pair of performers from one of Galar's most popular Pokemon-fronted bands, Eddie and Michael the Toxtricities!

A pair of Toxtricity, one Amped, and one Low Key are visible. The Amped one is mugging for the camera as it chows down on bright red pokeblocks, while the Low Key one is lounging back on a couch, lazily tossing pokeblocks into the air and catching them in its mouth. The Low Key one is the first to start hiccuping, looking mildly surprised as its chest starts jolting and the four protrusions vibrate, creating the sound of a bass guitar. The Amped one sneers at the Low Key one, audibly laughing at it.

Rowan: Now, even though Low Keys are calmer, you oughta be careful around both types of Toxtricity. Just 'cause they aren't mad about it doesn't mean that a Low Key isn't liable to pick a fight. At least if an Amped one wants to fight, they'll let you know about it!

Ashenbough: Eddie clearly sees this as some sort of competition, though Michael doesn't seem interested in rising to the bait. With each of his hiccups, you hear the characteristic low register sound of a Low Key Toxtricity, greatly resembling the strum of a bass guitar. As it is now, those noises seem to have convinced Eddie that he's won, but hubris isn't always befitting of a rock star.

Abruptly, the Amped Toxtricity's laughter is cut off by a loud hiccup that judders the protrusions on its chest, making the sound of a wailing, screeching electric guitar. It begins rapidly hiccuping and making more screeching guitar sounds, and the Low Key Toxtricity smirks and chuckles between its own hiccups.

Ashenbough: Although both band members have their part in this duet, you would be forgiven for mistaking it for a solo by Eddie. As is often the case between strong egos, a performance of Dueling Guitars is never out of the question.

The Amped Toxtricity leaps at the Low Key one, which seems perfectly happy to indulge him in a fight, the two hiccuping loudly as they grapple, electricity and visible sweat spitting out of them as Rowan backs quickly away.

...

Ashenbough: Still in the realm of performance, we were approached by a friendly Mr. Mime who wanted some time in the spotlight herself, but refused our offer of pokeblocks.

A kantoan Mr. Mime is miming holding a bowl and rapidly stirring something in it. She then pours the invisible batter into nothing, mimes holding a baking pan and opening an oven before placing it in and crossing her arms, her foot tapping.

Rowan: What a talent she is! Mr. Mimes are tricksy, so you can never be sure whether they're doing their act, or if they've actually summoned up something invisible to work with, so never take the space in front of one for granted.

The Mr. Mime's ear twitches despite no obvious sound and she grins, opening the "oven" and reaching in before yanking her hand out and shaking it. She goes through a whole rigamarole of putting on "gloves" to get the "pan" and using "tongs" to remove the invisible nothing inside of it, blowing on it, and then popping it into her mouth. After chewing and swallowing, she stands still for a second, then jolts violently, her mouth opening and closing, but no sound coming out. She covers her mouth and jerks again, then a third time.

Ashenbough: It seems that our spicy pokeblocks weren't needed in this case. Although...it does beg the question. Steven, do you think that she actually has the hiccups?

The camera shows the Mr. Mime holding her breath and jolting before she exhales, pauses for a long second, then silently spasms again with a look of shock.

Rowan: ...honestly not sure, mate.

...

Ashenbough: And now we switch to our second segment. For the most part, we attempt to film wild Pokemon behaving candidly and do not try to interact with them. Here you'll see examples of Pokemon catching hiccups in their everyday lives without the assistance of extra spicy pokeblocks. Onto pre-filmed segments featuring Steve Rowan, with my commentary overlaid.

...

Rowan: Now here we see a Snorlax in her natural habitat: someplace that's as inconvenient as possible for her to be.

A Snorlax is visible in the middle of a bridge, currently lying on her stomach and yanking huge fistfuls of kelp and other river detritus out of the water and cramming them into her mouth.

Ashenbough: Nobody knows what draws Snorlax to areas that tend towards high foot traffic. There's a decent possibility that it's just where they're most often seen, for obvious reasons. Whether or not they prefer to be in the way, though, that's frequently where they end up.

Rowan: Now, maybe you look there and say "Arceus, that's a big girl!" And you're not wrong about that, but this lady's actually a bit on the petite side. We'll see if she's just got an unusually empty tummy or if she's just a dainty little thing once she's done having supper.

Ashenbough: Those of you familiar with this particular river might believe that this Snorlax's growth could be stunted by pollution, but while that is a problem the local environment is still dealing with, for Snorlax, it's no issue at all. A Pokemon that needs to eat nearly its body weight in food every day can't afford to be picky, especially with a body as weighty as a Snorlax, so their extremely omnivorous stomachs can handle even the most toxic of poison types, though they prefer food that isn't inclined to fight back.

Rowan: Hey editors, you'll probably wanna fast forward this part a Bergmite. When a Snorlax is asleep, the only thing you have to worry about is getting around the big bugger, but when it's awake and eating, any smart trainer'll stay the heck out of their way.

There's a brief montage of Rowan and various camera people fishing, getting B roll, and having a small Pokemon battle while the Snorlax continues eating in the background before the montage is abruptly stopped by a loud noise from the Snorlax.

Cameraperson (offscreen): What was that?

Ashenbough: It seems that a Snorlax's iron gut may not be quite immune to all ills.

The camera focuses on the Snorlax, who has stopped eating with a slight look of confusion. With a loud, deep grunt, she wobbles on top of her stomach, then does it again.

Rowan: Whoops! Looks like the sheila ate a little too fast there. Do we think she's gonna learn a lesson from it?

The Snorlax wobbles with a few more hiccups, then goes back to devouring from the river, still bouncing but ignoring them.

Rowan: Nope! Right back to work!

Ashenbough: Whether her hiccups were a factor in her decision we can't say, but it wasn't long after she caught them that this petite giant chose to go back to sleep. It seems that hiccups are one status effect that the move Rest can't cure.

The Snorlax lays on her back, still in the middle of the bridge, Snoring loudly and her massive gut bouncing with huge hiccups every few seconds.

Rowan: Like I said, once they're sleeping, they get so deep in that it's safe to even climb on 'em. Some people and Pokemon even like bouncing on their bellies. But in this case...

Rowan climbs up the Snorlax's arm, then hops onto her stomach between hiccups before being thrown into the air by her next hiccup. This happens a few times before he falls off on the same side he climbed up, looking mildly dizzy, but laughing.

Rowan: You might get a little more bounce than you bargained for!

...

Ashenbough: Many wouldn't expect an abandoned casino to be a place worth searching for Pokemon, but there are a large number of reasons it could be worth looking through.

Rowan: Right. If we find any ghosts of people's paychecks here, they might be on the nasty side, so we're gonna want to stay quiet and approach carefully if we approach at all.

A strange electrical sound is audible and Rowan motions for the camera people to be quiet. They slowly move in between old slot machines until they see a group of Porygon and Porygon2 all surrounding a single Porygon-Z whose head is repeatedly bouncing and spinning with noisy electrical hiccups.

Rowan (sotto voce): Ah! It's a zip of Porygons! You never see this many of 'em in most places, but since they're artificial and not found in the wild, unscrupulous casino runners would use 'em as prizes to keep people coming back.

Ashenbough: Porygon are not able to reproduce sexually, and the copy protection all members of the line share stops them from being replicated while inside of a computer, but just like every other Pokemon, if one encounters an accommodating Ditto...

The camera pans, showing that one of the Porygon2s has a set of beady black eyes instead of round googly ones.

Ashenbough: Life...finds a way.

Rowan (sotto voce): That middle one's looking like it's havin' some trouble there. What's it doing, is that...hah. I think it has the hiccups! Hey, make sure you get a shot of that!

The Porygon-Z continues hiccuping, its head flipping and tumbling with every hiccup as it waggles its arms and tail angrily. One of the Porygon2s moves forward and pokes its "chest" with its bill, at which point the Porygon-Z violently pecks its head.

Ashenbough: Perhaps it's not so surprising that a Porygon-Z, exposed to dubious programming as it has been, has more than a few glitches and idiosyncrasies in its behavior. Although, even from the simply-coded start of its line, Porygon have always had their quirks.

Rowan (sotto voce): Now remember, none of these little guys actually likes being on film. We're getting real lucky here, so let's—

There's a loud clunk and then the sound of spinning slots. The camera whips around and catches a glimpse of a snickering Haunter with its hand on a slot machine's arm before it fades away. Rowan yelps and something is bleeped out as the camera turns back around, briefly showing all the Porygons staring at them before static fills the screen and a set of Unown reading "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES?!?" appear.

Ashenbough: This...is not a graphic that we made. That is, in fact, what was recorded by the camera until Rowan and his team left the casino a few minutes later.

The image futzes back in, showing a cameraperson adjusting the lens, then nodding before it's pointed at and focused back in on by Rowan, who has a Porygon on his arm.

Rowan (sotto voce): Well, seemed the little prankster back there managed to scare the hiccups out of the Porygon-Z, so they weren't too mad at us. Still, little guys are pretty camera-shy. This friendly fellow decided to let us get a good look though!

Ashenbough: You may recognize this footage from our episode on artificial Pokemon, so no need to use any more of it here. After all, our previous hiccuper was apparently cured by our ghostly interloper.

...

Ashenbough: Pokemon are mysterious creatures. Diverse in appearance, type, egg group, gender, nature, and just about every other way, there are many things about them that we'll never know.

A Falinks is shown marching along. The leader bounces with a hiccup, and then all five of its followers bounce in turn as they walk past the same spot.

Rowan: Do they actually all have the hiccups, or are they just following the Brass?

Ashenbough: Some things that bring one creature strength—

A Bellibolt is shown hiccuping, bouncing up and down as the hiccups expand and contract its body, visibly building up electricity in its stomach.

Ashenbough: —could be absolutely devastating for another.

A Primarina is seen singing on a stage before suddenly hiccing up a cluster of bubbles. They cover their mouth with their fins, hiccup again, and then dive into the fountain on stage behind them, vanishing.

Ashenbough: But even with all our differences, humans and Pokemon alike, there are some things that bring all of us together, even something as inconsequential as a hiccup.

A shot of Rowan and Ashenbough has Rowan staring expectantly at him. Ashenbough arches his eyebrows at him.

Ashenbough: No Steve, I'm not going to hiccup for you.

Rowan heaves a comically overwrought sigh, then smiles at the camera.

Rowan: Guess that's still my job then. Right! Until next time, mates! This has–HICCUP been Pok–HIC–mon Earth!

Brought to you by the GBC.