#FEEL FREE TO WAIT AND NOT VOTE YET

[bubaboos]

it's time everyone. part two in honour of worlds 2023/24... last time we banned bolero. let's choose another one

(these are mostly suggestions you've left in the tags during part 1!)

[wcnderlnds]

body language | kang dae-ho

・❥・ summary: the ex marine caught your attention from the moment you met him ・❥・word count: 1k ・❥・warnings: 18+. smut. p in v. unprotected sex. female reader. swearing. ・❥・ authors note: precious little dae-ho needs some love so here we are. this isn't my best work but we all know im still newish to smut 😭

Dae-ho had been the first person you had met when you entered the games. He had an energy about him that was infectious, he seemed like someone you could depend on so from the second he had opened his cute little mouth, you had decided to stay with him. A strong, loyal man was exactly what you needed to survive these games. It helped that he was incredibly charming and nice to look at. So, it was really no surprise that you found yourself pressed up against the cool of the wall behind the bunks with his lips pressed against yours moving with a ferocity of two people whose lives were on the line.

After the second game emotions had been high. The team had barely survived with only seconds to spare. Hearts had been pounding and in the heat of the moment, you had thrown your arms around Dae-ho in the biggest hug imaginable. His big, strong arms had instantly wrapped around yours whispering into your ear how glad he was that the both of you had made it, how thankful he was that he had met you. The sexual tension between the two of you after that moment could be cut with a knife. The longing glances through dinner, the brushing of hands during the vote – it had all led to his body pressing against yours in the dead of night.

At first, you’d approached him wanting to talk but finally, with no other eyes on you, the tension had hit breaking point. His body had you against the wall before you could even blink, his hands on either side of your head as his lips devoured yours. Your hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him impossibly close. It was like you needed him to breath. The only thing you cared about was this former Marine having his hands all over you.

“What if someone catches us?” He whispered against your lips. Ever the cautious one.

“They won’t. Everyone’s too busy worrying about the next game and I’m sure we’re not the only ones having a little moment to ourselves,” your voice was a seductive whisper as your hand slid down between his legs. The outline of his cock prominent against the restraints of his sweatpants. You palmed him through his clothes, gently rubbing against his hardening length. He bit his lower lip, holding back the groan threatening to escape. His hand moved to grab yours, guiding you into his sweatpants. He wanted more. He needed more. 

Sliding his hand into his underwear, you grasped his cock giving it a soft squeeze. The small whimper coming from Dae-ho was like music to your ears as you slowly began stroking up and down his thick length. You hadn’t even laid eyes on it yet but you couldn’t wait to feel him inside you. He was thick, the thought alone of him stretching you out was enough to make your thighs clench. Your hand continued to move along him, picking up speed. Dae-ho was biting his lip so much you were sure he was about to draw blood. 

Suddenly, his fingers wrapped around your wrist putting your movements to a halt. His breath came heavy as you spoke. “If you don’t stop, I’ll finish before we even get to the good part.”

There wasn't even a chance to reply as he spun you around, your hands pressed against the wall, his cock brushing against your ass. His calloused fingers dove into the front of your sweatpants feeling how wet you already were. Just to be sure you were ready, he dove into your panties, his fingers easily sliding through your folds; your slickness coating his digits.  In a flash he pulled your sweatpants and panties down in one fell swoop, freeing his own cock. He grinded against you, the feeling of his hardness sliding against you making you gasp.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked, cock in his hand as he positioned himself.

“Yes, please just fuck me, Dae-ho,” you whimpered, pushing back against him feeling the head of his cock press into you. With his hands on your hips, he slowly pushed himself inside you until his pelvis was fully pressed against your ass – his cock deep inside your pussy.

His thrusts were slow, the drag of his length making you moan quietly. Who cares if there were people around? Who cares if someone caught you? In that moment, all you cared about was getting fucked enough to forget about the horrors going on around you. His fingers gripped your hips softly, his hips pulling almost all the way out then slamming back into you. Your head fell as he continued, your body jerking forward with every thrust. 

He leaned over, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “You like that? Like the way that feels, huh?”

“Yes, oh fuck, yes. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

Your pleading moans only spurred him on, giving him the courage and consent he needed to kick things up a notch. His calloused fingers slid up under your shirt, squeezing your breasts as he picked up his pace. The sound of skin slapping against skin could be heard but, luckily, the players' snores covered it up. The grunts coming from him signalled his impending release. That all too familiar feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach. “I’m gonna…. fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

He slammed into you one, two, three more times before his release flooded your insides, filling you up. The feeling of him grinding against you, pushing his seed into you trigged your own release. Your walls clamped down around him as you moaned his name, biting into your own forearm to muffle the sound. Your body shook, breath coming out in short bursts. Dae-ho pulled out of you, making sure to clean you up with some tissue he’d taken from the bathrooms earlier. He threw it under the bed, helping you pull your own clothes back on.

Spinning you around, he cupped your face in his hands, his thumb lightly stroking over your cheek. “Are you okay? I didn’t go too hard, did I?”

“No,” you shook your head with a smile. “You were perfect. I like you, Dae-Ho so… stay alive, please. I want to be able to do this again properly.”

He pressed a light kiss to your nose, a silly little smirk on his face. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

[fastandcarlos]

Since Day One : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris

summary: since the very beginning you’ve been by lando’s side supporting his career

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, georgerussell63 and 3,850 others

landonorris: goodbye karting, thank you for everything. looking forward to getting into the world of formula racing next year ❤️

382 comments

username1: can’t believe you’re moving on from karting, big things are coming!

ynusername: so proud of you, even if I’m gutted not to be riding around in a go kart every week from now on 💔

landonorris: @/ynusername you haven’t seen nothing yet, just wait for those f1 hot laps 😘

username2: only a matter of time until we see you line up on that f1 grid now ☺️

charles_leclerc: end of a karting era, but hopefully many more races for us to come!

landonorris: @/charles_leclerc we’ll both be on that podium one day…I’m sure of it!!

username3: so deserving of the new things coming your way ❤️

georgerussell63: hopefully be lining up on the grid with you very soon 🤞🏻

olivernorris1: congrats bro, looking forward to the free trips to some more hot destinations 😂☀️

landonorris: @/olivernorris1 and here i was thinking you were flying out to support me…

username4: still gonna be your biggest fan!!

maxverstappen1: about time you gave someone else a go at winning a karting race 😂

username5: can’t wait to see where you go from here 🫶🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, charles_leclerc and 13,968 others

landonorris: buzzing to get my first formula 2 win, thanks to the whole team for all your support so far this season. hopefully the first of many 💪🏻🏆

1,840 comments

ynusername: you’re incredible, my race winner 🥺

landonorris: @/ynusername can’t wait to show this trophy off to you when I get home 💞

username6: first win of many gotta good feeling for this season ❤️

charles_leclerc: turns out you’re just as good at karting as you are formula 2 😂👏🏻

username7: so deserved lando, hope you celebrate hard tonight!

georgerussell63: yes lando!! a jolly good race indeed my friend 🏆

username8: a white race suit and champagne, someone in the team needs speaking to 🤦🏻‍♀️

alex_albon: someone get zak brown on speed dial asap 📞

landonorris: @/alex_albon let’s not get too excited, it’s only one race…so far!

alex_albon: @/landonorris the first of many my friend!

username9: if driver of the day was a thing, you’d get my vote 🤩

username10: that smile is my new favourite thing in the world!!

adam_norris_pure_electric: good job son, so proud of you back over here at home 🤍

username11: can’t wait to see how many more wins you get this year 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon and 58,402 others

landonorris: first couple of weeks with mclaren done, safe to say carlando is off to a good start 😝🧡

9,497 comments

username12: carlando are officially my otp btw 🧡🫶🏻

charles_leclerc: it’s a miracle you two get anything done when you’re in the same room!

username13: i can already tell this pairing is gonna be trouble!!

alex_albon: looks like you don’t need me anymore 😭

landonorris: @/alex_albon team rookies forever 💯

username14: whoever decided that these two should be on the same team deserves a pay rise immediately 😂

mclaren: admin thanks you both for constantly giving her such a headache 🧡

username15: have you ever met two more well paired drivers in your life??

ynusername: *currently googling what to do when you feel like the third wheel in your own relationship…*

carlossainz55: @/ynusername he’s mine now 😘

landonorris: @/ynusername ignore him, I promise you’re still my number one 💞

username16: forever refreshing my feed in search of carlando content 🥺

username17: can we get these two to sign lifetime contracts at all!?

zbrownceo: you’ve been awesome so far and ik you’ll continue to be too!

username18: i love how carlos us taken lando completely under his wing in f1 😭

carlossainz55: couldn’t imagine my life without you sweetie ❤️

landonorris: @/carlossainz55 stop otherwise you’ll make yn jealous again!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, carmenmmundt and 28,048 others

ynusername: finally managed to get to my first f1 race, so proud to see you do your thing in person lan 💞

2,960 comments

landonorris: so glad you were able to come and cheer me on, you’re definitely a good luck charm now 🫶🏻

username19: you looked stunning in the paddock, lando is one lucky guy!!

alex_albon: you’re not allowed to leave it so long next time, I didn’t realise how much i missed you!!

carmenmmundt: so happy to finally meet you, hopefully see you again soon girlie!

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt who cares what the boys say, we’re double dating asap 🫶🏻

username20: you two are just beyond stunning together 🤩

charles_leclerc: i still remember you being one of a handful of people watching us in karts all those years ago 💭

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc so proud of all you guys 💕

username21: silently praying for a yn appearance at every race from here on in 🙏🏻

carlossainz55: still secretly think you were coming to spy on me 👀

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 gotta find a way to stop you stealing my boyfriend somehow…

username22: from karting to f1, she’s really been by his side through it all!

mclaren: thank you for helping us keep lando under control for the weekend - admin 🧡

username23: hope you had the best time yn 💞

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 174,494 others

landonorris: first podium baby 🏆🥳

thank you to everyone in austria and back at the mtc for all your hard work. fans, friends, family and yn for always cheering me on and reminding me that i can do this 💕🧡

38,508 comments

username24: I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud in my entire life 🥺

alex_albon: the little go karter on an f1 podium 🤧

username25: idk how you did it but that was incredible, fastest lap too!!

carlossainz55: I feel like a proud father rn 🥺

username26: thank you for reminding us that mclaren can achieve podiums again 🧡

maxverstappen1: gutted I couldn’t be up there with you today

landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 next time we’ll be up there together like the old days!

mclaren: everyone at mclaren is so proud of you lando 🧡🏎️

username27: only got the podium thanks to a time penalty anyway 🙄

username28: @/username27 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

ynusername: have I mentioned yet just how proud I am of you?? 💞

username29: love how he gave a special mention to yn too 🥺

zbrownceo: the perfect stepping stone to get you to p1, I know we can do it 💪🏻

username30: hope you get used to being up on that podium, you’re gonna be there often!

georgerussell63: super drive buddy!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 38,497 others

ynusername: turns out monaco is the life after all, a whole new world but absolutely loving it 🥺

4,969 comments

username31: just goes to show just how much lando means to you remember!

landonorris: thank you for making such a huge sacrifice for me, i promise we’ll have the best time living out here together 😘

ynusername: @/landonorris anything to help make your dreams come true ✨

username32: look at them out here living their best lives

carmenmmundt: our next coffee date is when??? ☕️

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt I’m omw to you rn 🏃🏻‍♀️

alexandrasaintmleux: @/ynusername @/carmenmmundt make that three 🫶🏻

username33: the muscles in that first photo, yn you can’t do that to us without warning…

georgerussell63: thank you for finally giving me some proper competition playing padel 🏸

ynusername: @/georgerussell63 I did try to warn you that lando was rubbish

username34: yn always happy to satisfy the boyfriend lando fans ✨

adam_norris_pure_electric: we are so relieved that you’re out there with him 😂

ynusername: @/adam_norris_pure_electric this apartment would not still be standing without me 😂

username35: I cannot stress how obsessed I am with these two!!

maxverstappen1: I love that you’re now on our doorstep so I can constantly annoy you 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 42,950 others

ynusername: first holiday in a while with you 🛥️🏝️

7,597 comments

carlossainz55: missing my two favourite people right now

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 thank you honorary third wheel 😘

username36: no one deserves this rest more than you two 💞

danielricciardo: it’s not a true holiday cause I’m not there 🤷🏻‍♂️

landonorris: @/danielricciardo that’s what makes it such a good holiday

username37: summer break looks good on you two!!

maxverstappen1: so glad you guys are enjoying that place!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 thanks for such a great reccomendation! ☺️

username38: remember when everyone was obsessed with these two as karting teens, now look at them… 😭

oscarpiastri: shame he doesn’t look like he’s missing me at all 💔

iamrebeccad: wishing that I could look as good as you rn 🥺

username39: it’s not fair how good two people can look…

landonorris: the best time away with you 💕

username40: forever refreshing my feed for another gorgeous update of these two

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 2,968,573 others

landonorris: the moment I’ve dreamt of for so many years, officially a race winner! thank you to every single person who has contributed to my career over the years, this one’s for you 🏎️🧡🏆

458,360 comments

username41: apologies to my neighbours for screaming so loud the entire street could hear

ynusername: wish I could’ve been there more than anything, can’t wait to celebrate with you when you’re home 💞

landonorris: @/ynusername I still felt you here cheering me on 🫶🏻

oscarpiastri: awesome drive, the only way for us right now is up

↗️

landonorris: @/oscarpiastri we’re chasing them down brother 💪🏻

carlossainz55: I always knew this moment would come one day for you 👏🏻

username42: asking for a friend…is it acceptable to cry when it’s not even you on the podium???

danielricciardo: about damn time 😂 super race today brother!!

username43: words can’t begin to explain how proud I am to be your fan lando norris

alex_albon: who’d have thought those two kids almost a decade ago would end up here 🥺

username44: so proud of how far you’ve come since the beginning lando!

zbrownceo: could barely contain myself on the pit lane, congratulations lando 🧡

charles_leclerc: such an honour to be up there with you 🏎️

username45: it’s been a long time coming, hopefully the platform for many more wins now ☺️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 60,597 others

ynusername: second time’s the charm! so proud of you lando and so proud to be there this time cheering you on with all your family. you’re so deserving of this moment…I couldn’t be any prouder of you ✨💕

14,974 comments

landonorris: I could never have got this far without you, thank you for always loving me angel since day one 🧡

georgerussell63: he’s not stopped telling people all weekend how happy he is to have you here btw 😂

username46: how do you two still manage to melt my heart like this!?

lilyzneimer: so happy for lan 👏🏻 and so happy you got to be there to see him win this time too!!

lilymhe: you looked so cute during those celebrations bby

username47: only yn and cisca would stand out in that crowd to surprise him 😂

oscarpiastri: at least I didn’t have to listen to him mope about how much he wanted you there this time

username48: I love the relationship yn has with all his family 🥺

mclaren: admin would also like to reiterate what oscar had to say too 😂

username49: I can’t begin to imagine how excited lando must’ve been to have his whole family there

danielricciardo: was it ever in doubt??

ynusername: @/danielricciardo that’s cause he learnt from the best 😉

username50: you must be so proud yn seeing his hard work firsthand ☺️

carlossainz55: so good to see you and catch up under such awesome circumstances 🧡

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[youthereader]

Hard Bargain

PAIRING: joel miller (the last of us) x fem!reader

SUMMARY: 2.4k words. You can’t pay Joel in ration cards — not this time. He delivers what you asked for anyway. What happens next isn’t a favor. It’s a transaction. And Joel takes payment in full.

RATING: E. Rough oral sex. Face-fucking. Light D/s. Power dynamics. Dirty talk. Spit and tears. Come in mouth. Comeplay. Finger fucking. Degradation. Praise kink. Dubious consent (but really consensual). Survival Sex. Joel Miller is Not a Nice Man. Emotional aftercare.

A/N: You voted, you got it! ❤️💦

You didn’t think he’d come tonight.

You were counting on that, honestly. Thought maybe you had another day. Maybe two. A little more time to figure out a way around it. Around him.

But then Joel Miller is at your door.

Three sharp knocks. Not frantic. Not angry. Just… certain. Final.

You don’t answer. You just stare at the knob, heart rabbiting behind your ribs. He lets himself in anyway.

The door clicks shut behind him, soft and efficient, and there he is — boots scuffed, jacket still zipped up to his throat, jaw tight, eyes colder than the fucking QZ walls.

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t have to. He just tosses the canvas bag on your table.

It thumps like it’s heavier than it should be.

You swallow hard.

You know what’s inside. Tampons. Toothpaste. Chocolate. The good kind, black market rare. You’d asked for it. Whispered the list to him in the alley behind the ration office, voice low, trying not to sound greedy. He hadn’t said yes. Just nodded once and walked off.

That was four days ago.

“I don’t have it yet,” you say, voice thin. “The cards. I’ll have ‘em next shipment—”

He cuts you off with one look. You don’t even get the rest of the sentence out.

You pause. Then try something else.

“I can pay you another way.”

Joel’s face doesn’t move. Doesn’t twitch, doesn’t lift. You feel his eyes move down, though — a flicker, quick — like he’s scanning your mouth, your body, the distance between you.

You take a step forward.

Slowly.

He doesn’t stop you.

You don’t make a show of it. No coy smile, no dragging fingers up your own thigh. Just this: the truth of it, stark and raw. You can’t pay him. But you can give him something.

You sink to your knees.

The linoleum’s cold. Your palms hit it with a quiet slap, then settle flat. You reach for his belt.

He catches your wrist. Not rough — but not gentle, either.

“You think this is smart?” he mutters. His voice is low. Dangerously low. “Someone hears?”

“They won’t.”

His grip stays for a second longer. Then he lets go.

You don’t wait.

Your fingers find the buckle, the zipper. His cock is already half-hard when you pull him free — thick and heavy, dark with blood, a slick pearl beading at the tip.

You wrap your hand around him and look up.

“You gonna let me?” you whisper.

His nostrils flare. His eyes burn down into yours.

And then Joel says the words that drop straight into your gut and split you open.

“Don’t fucking tease.”

You don’t tease.

Not now.

Not with him looking down at you like that. Like you're a means to an end. Like he’s been patient for long enough.

You lean in slow, breath warm against the head of his cock. You kiss the tip. Just once. Soft.

He twitches in your hand.

Then your mouth opens.

He slides past your lips with one slow push of your hand guiding him. Thick, hot, swollen — he stretches your mouth immediately. Your jaw aches before he’s even halfway in.

“Goddamn,” Joel mutters, voice low and guttural. His hand comes down — not on your cheek, not to caress — but straight to the back of your head. Possessive. Anchoring.

You swirl your tongue around him, hollow your cheeks, start to move your head.

Not fast. Not yet. You want to give him something sweet first. Soft. You can feel his thighs tighten as he holds still, breath ragged. The tip hits the back of your throat and you choke a little, eyes watering, but you don’t pull away.

“Fuck,” he growls. “You tryin’ to make me lose it?”

You hum, mouth full, and that’s all it takes. The sound, the vibration of it, the spit running down your chin — his fingers tighten in your hair, his hips roll forward.

The first thrust catches you by surprise.

You gasp around him, nails digging into your own thighs. Your body jerks — reflex — but you don’t try to pull back. You can’t, anyway. His grip is solid. Absolute.

“I said don’t tease,” he grits, and then he does it again.

He starts to fuck your mouth in short, rough thrusts. Not wild. Not uncontrolled. But there’s nothing gentle here. You’re just a hole now — a warm, wet mouth on your knees, and he uses it.

“Look at you,” he mutters, breath hitching. “On the fuckin’ floor, payin’ your debt like this.”

You moan. Can’t help it.

His hand shifts, tightens near your scalp, and he drives forward hard — deeper this time — makes your throat stretch around him.

You gag, sputter, spit bubbles up and slicks your lips, but you stay. You breathe through your nose and hold his hips. Let him.

“Christ,” he groans. “That pretty mouth. You take it like you were meant to.”

Your eyes stream. Tears and drool mix, falling hot down your cheeks.

And he keeps going.

The sound of it is obscene — wet and fast and sharp. Your nose pressed to his pubic bone, your chin soaked, throat working around the drag of his cock every time he drives in.

“Gonna fuck your face ‘til I’m done,” Joel grits. “Don’t care how messy you get.”

You can’t nod, can’t answer. He’s filling every inch of you.

But you want that.

You want it messy.

You want to be ruined for him.

He’s deep now.

Not just in your mouth — in your bones. In the tension running down your spine, the sharp ache behind your knees, the tears slicking your jawline.

Every thrust punches a soft sound out of your throat. He’s panting above you, jaw clenched, one big hand cradling the back of your skull to keep you exactly where he wants you.

And you take it. You let him fuck your face like it’s something he bought. Something he owns.

But then—

Something shifts.

Just a breath. A single stutter in the rhythm. His hand in your hair goes still. His hips stop moving, pressed flush to your face, and for the first time he really looks at you.

You blink up at him, eyes glassy, throat full.

Joel curses under his breath. A quiet, pained sound.

“Shit.”

He pulls out. Slow. Careful.

You gasp as air rushes in. Your lips are swollen, wet, your chin gleaming with spit and arousal and everything else you couldn’t swallow fast enough. You brace yourself on trembling hands and cough once, hard, shoulders shaking.

Then a sound you don’t expect.

Fabric. His jacket. Rustling.

You flinch, thinking he’s leaving.

But then Joel crouches. Heavy boots thud as he sinks down in front of you. You can’t meet his eyes — not yet — so you stare at the zipper of his pants, still undone, his cock glistening and flushed. Still hard.

“You okay?” he asks.

Not a whisper. Not soft. But lower than before. Rough in a different way.

You nod. Try to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, but your wrist is shaking.

Joel’s hand comes up. Brushes your cheek.

It stops you cold.

His thumb wipes a tear away. The pad of it is calloused, warm. Too gentle for the kind of man he’s pretending to be.

“Didn’t mean to…” he starts, then trails off. Swallows thickly. “Went too hard.”

You want to say no, that he didn’t, that you wanted it — still want it — but your throat’s raw. You just look at him instead.

He searches your face.

And maybe it’s just the silence. Maybe it’s the shitty little apartment. The war outside. The fact that no one’s touched you in months except to push you aside in a ration line — but suddenly the heat between you shifts. It softens.

“You didn’t stop me,” he mutters. More to himself than you. ���But maybe I shoulda.”

You lean forward. Rest your forehead on his shoulder. Just for a second. His flannel smells like sweat and old soap and the streets outside the QZ.

He doesn’t pull away.

Doesn’t say anything else.

Just sits there, crouched in front of you, breathing hard while you catch yours.

Then, after a long moment—

“You ready?” he asks, voice hoarse. Thumb still resting at the hinge of your jaw.

And you nod.

Because you are.

You nod.

And that’s all it takes.

Joel doesn’t smile. Doesn’t speak.

He just grabs the back of your head again — slow this time, fingers threading deep into your damp hair — and guides you back down.

Your lips part, obedient.

He feeds his cock into your mouth again like it belongs there. Slower now. No sudden thrusts. No choke. Just heat and pressure and the way your lips seal around him like they remember the shape already.

You breathe steady through your nose, hand curled at the base of him, guiding what your throat can’t yet take.

“Attagirl,” he mutters. Quiet. Like he doesn’t mean to say it out loud.

You close your eyes and sink deeper. Let the head of him tap the back of your throat, feel the way he twitches when you moan around him.

Joel’s other hand cups the side of your face. Holds your jaw in place, thumb dragging slow beneath your cheekbone. Not rough. Not punishing. Just… firm. Like he’s grounding you.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “That’s it. That’s it, sweetheart.”

You take him a little further. Then more. Your throat flexes, tightens, your shoulders jerk — but you keep going.

He groans. Low and ragged. You feel his hips start to move again, slow pulses forward, controlled now. Measured.

“Fuckin’ mouth,” he mutters. “So soft. So good.”

The praise shoots straight down your spine, lights a fire behind your ribs.

He pushes in deeper, and this time you let him — let your body relax into it, let him press his cock down your throat until your nose brushes his stomach again and your eyes spill fresh tears.

He holds there.

Not long. Just enough.

His thumb strokes your cheek. Once.

“You okay?”

It’s the only thing he says — barely audible, like it slips out before he can help it.

You blink. Look up. Nod.

And Joel groans like you just did something filthy.

“Jesus.”

He pulls out halfway and fucks back in — harder now, but still slow. Still watching. He’s got your jaw bracketed in his palm and his cock sliding between your lips and you realize you’ve never felt more owned in your life.

And god, you want it.

You reach between your knees with your free hand — touch yourself. Just press your palm there, over the heat building between your thighs, and he sees it.

He sees everything.

“You gettin’ off on this?” he growls. His rhythm speeds up — hips jerking now, fucking your mouth harder with each word. “You like this? Me usin’ you like this?”

You moan around him. Loud. Wet. Obscene.

His grip tightens.

And Joel starts to fuck your face like it’s the only thing keeping him alive.

He’s close. You can feel it — the way his hips jerk out of rhythm, the way his cock throbs between your lips, swelling at the base. His breaths go ragged, hissing between clenched teeth.

You moan. Let him hit the back of your throat one more time and stay there.

His hand clenches in your hair, pulls tight, and his voice breaks—

“F-fuck—gonna come—”

You brace for it. Keep your throat open, your jaw slack, and Joel groans deep when he finally lets go.

“Shit—fuck, that’s it—that’s it—good fuckin’ girl—”

He spills into your mouth in thick, hot pulses. You swallow automatically, gasping through your nose, tears leaking down your cheeks as he holds you there — cock twitching, hand tangled tight in your hair like he can’t bear to let go yet.

When he finally pulls back, it’s slow. Like he’s dragging himself out of something he didn’t expect to enjoy this much.

Your mouth is wrecked. Red, swollen, wet.

Joel looks down at you. Spent. Jaw clenched, eyes dark.

He reaches out and smears a drop of come from your lip with his thumb — drags it across your cheek like he means to mark you.

“Next time,” he says, voice still low, still sharp with hunger, “I come on your face.”

Your stomach flips.

But you don’t move. Don’t answer.

You just kneel there. Mouth open, skin flushed, thighs shaking.

And then he grabs your arm.

You don’t have time to react — he hauls you forward, flips you fast, forces you down onto your stomach on the cold floor. One hand shoves between your shoulder blades, keeping your face pressed hard to the tile, the other ripping at your waistband.

You whimper, hips jerking up instinctively, and that’s all it takes.

“Spread your legs,” he growls.

You do. Wide. Exposed.

He shoves your pants down just far enough to bare you. And then his fingers are there — two of them, thick and unyielding, pushing into your soaked cunt without preamble.

You scream into the floor.

“Jesus fuckin’—you’re dripping,” Joel snarls. “That mouth got you this wet?”

He fucks you on his fingers like he’s still fucking your throat — hard and fast, relentless, curling them deep until you can’t even think. You claw at the floor. Try to lift your hips but his weight keeps you down, pinned, helpless.

“Stay still,” he growls.

You can’t. You’re shaking too hard. His fingers hit that spot again and again, and everything inside you snaps.

You come like a goddamn explosion — crying out, whole body convulsing, soaking his hand, the floor, everything.

Joel doesn't stop until you're whimpering, until your thighs are twitching and your cunt clenches around nothing.

Only then does he pull his fingers out.

And press them to your lips.

“Open.”

You do.

You suck his fingers clean.

Like a good girl.

Thank you for reading and dm me about my taglist if you're interested. ❤️

[docrobinavitch]

but i stayed anyway

dr. robby x f!fiance!reader content: 18+ mdni, canon medical incidents (mci), shooting, mental health discussions, suicidal ideation words: 9.8k synopsis: takes place over the course of episodes 12-15. reader is a clinical psychologist who used to work in the hospital, but no longer does and is engaged to robby. robby calls reader to let her know about the shooting and asks that she not come... and guess what our reader does (: (as this is following alongside the events of episodes 12 through 15, please note that i borrowed some dialogue directly from the episodes.) a/n: hiiii besties!!! this fic is proof that democracy works 🤪 thank you for voting in my poll! the family trauma fic is soon to follow (hopefully). i listened to renegade by big red machine a lot while writing this, which to me may be the most robby coded song of all time. but yeah that's where the title comes from, if you were interested. thank you guys so much for all the love you've shown my writing the last month, i think it's time to get a masterlist up. love you, enjoy your weekend, and as always feel free to blow my inbox up.

It was almost 6PM when you were on your drive home from work that day. You thought about calling your fiancé, Michael, but figured he’d be off shift in an hour anyway. You were trying, and failing, not to be overbearing.

When he told you he intended to go to work today, you had feigned indifference, but he knew you and he heard the worry in your voice.

“Please don’t psychoanalyze me.” He said as he kissed you goodbye.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You said, “You said you’re good to work today so you’re good to work today. Just, um, maybe we could check in around lunch—?”

“Stop.” He said, sighing, “We talked about this.”

“Yeah, okay.” You said quickly, anxious to get him out of the house so you could fret in peace, “I’ll see you later.”

Once he was gone, you got yourself ready for work and did your best not to think about it too much. Him working on the anniversary of Adamson’s death. You were, after all, a clinical psychologist and so it had been… difficult to turn off your clinical instincts when Robby had been suffering so obviously the last few years.

You had suggested a referral to many a colleague, which he politely refused each time. Insisting he was fine while day after day you watched him slip further and further into an abyss.

You had gone so far as to text Kiara, the hospital social worker, about your concerns a few months ago. Robby had been livid about that. Barely spoke to you for days after.

Your fingers itched to call her on your way into work, but you really didn’t want to start off the weekend fighting with Robby.

So you stayed away. You didn’t text or call to check in during the day. However, when Jake had texted you earlier today asking if you wanted to stop by the ER with him around lunch, you nearly gave in.

Sorry, kid, too wrapped up with work today. But make sure you give him a hug for me!

You locked your phone and put it down after that, but then a minute later couldn’t stop yourself from sending an extra text:

Also couldn’t hurt to ask him how he is.

After it was sent you rested your head on your arms and sighed.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Jake had texted you that he seemed busy, but overall fine. You knew though that Jake’s perception of fine did not match yours. Besides which, Robby would have put on a show for him, a happy face. He’d never let Jake see the crushing grief that was just behind his eyes, if only you knew where to find it. You didn’t hear anything else for the rest of the day.

So when there was still an hour of Robby’s shift left and a picture of the two of you lit up your screen to indicate an incoming call, your heart rate picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, honey, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home late tonight. I’m not sure how late yet.”

“Oh.” You waited for him to provide more information, but he didn’t. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed, “I don’t know. There’s an active shooter at Pitt Fest.”

“Oh, God—“ Your breath caught when you remembered your conversation with Jake earlier, “Jake’s there—“

“Yeah, do you think you could try getting in touch with him? I’ve tried calling, but it won’t go through.”

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

“And if you don’t mind, maybe call Janey too?”

“Yes. Whatever you need.” He was quiet on the other line for a moment. You badly wanted to ask him if he was okay, but knew the answer and also knew it would only piss him off, so you waited in the silence.

“Please don’t come here,” He said finally, “I know you think you can help—“

“I can help,” You said quickly, “Kiara’s going to be slammed, I’ve worked in the hospital before, I can—“

“You don’t want to be here for this.” He said firmly. You heard someone call his name in the background, “I have to go. You’ll let me know if you hear from Jake?”

“Yeah, of course. I love—“ The line went dead before you could finish your sentence.

That was fine. Your brain was entering crisis mode anyway. You dialed Jake as you drove, about three times with no luck. Trying to keep your own anxiety in check, you called Janey and let her know what was going on and to call you or Robby if she heard from Jake.

Robby didn’t want you at the hospital, you knew that, but there was simply no way in hell you were just going to go home and twiddle your thumbs while you waited to hear from him or Jake. You were sure he knew that, too.

So, after thinking it over for a minute, you made a U turn and dialed Kiara.

As you were walking in to the ER, you ran into Jack Abbot and exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” He teased, throwing an arm over your shoulders.

“Oh, thank God you’re here too.”

“What are you doing here? You’re back at the hospital?”

“No, no, I just thought Kiara could use a hand tonight.”

He hummed, “Which roughly translates to you wanted to keep an eye on Robby.”

You feigned outrage, “Come on, Jack, I thought you’d be on my side about this.”

“I am on your side,” He laughed as you walked through the waiting room, “Why do you think I’m here?”

The two of you walked into Robby giving a pep talk to the ER staff. His face betrayed nothing when he saw the two of you, but just from looking at him it was immensely clear to you that the day had weighed on him. And now he still had miles to go.

“Brother, am I glad to see you.” He said to Abbot, pulling him into a hug.

“You,” He said, turning to you, “I specifically asked you not to come here.”

“Kiara asked me to come, and besides,” You lowered your voice, “You’re not the boss of me.”

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, “Have you heard from Jake?”

“No, I’m still trying. So is Janey.”

He nodded and then without preamble pulled you into his chest, “Thank you for coming.”

You exhaled in relief and tightened your arms around his waist, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” You murmured, “I have to go find Kiara.”

He nodded and stepped away from you, immediately shifting back into leader mode. While you slipped away, you stopped at Dana’s side, gaping at her black eye.

“Oh my God, what the fuck happened to you?” You asked, hands coming up to her face.

“Oh, please, don’t start. I don’t have time.” She pulled you into a tight hug, “Glad you’re here though, regardless of what sad boy over there says, we could use all the help we can get.”

You smirked, “Sad boy?”

She waved you off, “Gen Z lingo, ask one of the med students.”

“Hey,” You grabbed her arm as she started to run off, “You’ll come get me if he seems… sadder than usual?”

She smiled, “Yeah, you got it.”

And then she was off and you disappeared into the chaos to find Kiara.

***

You had lost count of how many times you’d called Jake. You had talked to several family members, mostly just to ask them to be patient and be sure to upload any information about their missing family members.

But you had also had to inform a woman that her husband was dead. You had done this before, the hard thing, giving someone the worst news of their lives. It was a difficult balance to be empathetic enough that you didn’t come off cold and distant, but not so empathetic that you let it destroy you.

You still hadn’t mastered it. And the fact that no one could get in touch with Jake only made it worse. As soon as you could, you excused yourself to call him again.

It rang and rang and rang and when you reached his voicemail, you hung up, hands shaking.

It felt like hours before your phone went off with a text from Dana.

Jake’s here. He’s ok. Come find me.

The relief hit you so hard you felt yourself tearing up. Taking deep breaths, you headed back into the ER, looking for Dana.

You hadn’t been back here since everything started and the sight of all the patients, the blood on the floor, nearly made you sick. You stood there, frozen in place, listening to the crying and medical jargon being shouted and wondered, not for the first time, how the fuck Robby did this all day long. You knew from experience it wasn’t normally like this, but after only a couple of hours in the ER, you had always been anxious to leave it. You never understood how anyone could do a full 12 hour shift here.

“Good, there you are.” Dana said, coming to your side, “Jake’s good, he was shot in the leg, but they’ve stopped the bleeding he’s stable.”

“Oh, thank God. Has anyone called Janey?”

Dana nodded, “She’s on her way here. But, Leah, Jake’s girlfriend,” Dana sighed and shook her head, “It’s not good. Robby’s working on her.”

You nodded, “Okay, well, that’s encouraging. Robby’s the best chance she has.”

Dana nodded, “Yeah, I’m more so worried that she was a lost cause when she got in here and Robby’s been working on her for… Well, longer than he should be in a mass casualty. Anyone else and he would’ve called it minutes ago.”

You saw where she was going with this. Leah was dead. But Robby would kill himself to bring Leah back, to not have to tell Jake he couldn’t save her. And all of this was happening on the day Adamson had died.

“Also,” Dana added, “I don’t know the details, but him and Langdon had a falling out today. He sent the kid home.”

You frowned, “What d’you mean, Langdon’s right there?” You pointed behind her to Langdon who was working on a patient.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be shitting me.” She sighed, “Okay, well, don’t tell Robby you saw him. He’s gonna lose his shit when he sees him.”

You sighed and brought your hands together, “Okay. I’m going to go talk to Jake and then I’m gonna see what I can do about… Leah.”

“Thank you,” Dana said, “You’re an angel.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s a long shot he’ll listen to me.”

“Have a little faith, yeah?” And then Dana disappeared.

Closing your eyes, you breathed slowly a few times, psyching yourself up to go find Jake, and then you forced yourself to move.

You found Jake alone, on a gurney in the hallway, phone in hand and tears still wet on his cheeks.

“Oh, Jake, baby,” He looked up at the sound of your voice and his arms opened to you immediately. You wrapped him up, holding him as tightly as you could.

“Leah was shot,” He cried.

“I know, I know, I heard.”

“Robby’s with her, do you know how she is?”

You shook your head, “I just got in here, but I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Could you stay with me? Just until my mom gets here?”

Oh, your heart was shattering in your chest with every second that passed. You closed your eyes for a second, “I have to go handle something, but I promise I will be right back, okay?”

He nodded, “Yeah, okay. And you’ll see about Leah?”

“Yeah, of course.” You squeezed his hand and kissed the top of his head and then you were moving again.

The level of carnage was absolutely stunning and in your head you had to keep repeating to yourself over and over Find Robby. Find Robby. Find Robby. In order to keep your head on straight.

And then you saw him, in front of the hub, perched on top of the gurney like a man tied to the pyre at the center of town. You wondered idly how long he had been performing compressions. Nurses surrounding the gurney, carrying out orders as he spewed them out. All of them had the same look on their face, like they were placating a child who could not quite seem to grasp that their dog had died.

“Fuck.” You muttered.

“Good, you’re here. Maybe he’ll listen to you.” Abbot appeared behind you.

“I don’t know that he will,” You swallowed, “He’s been pushing me away for weeks.” The intensity of the situation they were in, of seeing Jake, and now his girlfriend, dead beneath Robby’s hands brought tears to your eyes.

“You have to try.” Abbot said quietly, and then he buried himself back into the fray.

You blinked the tears away rapidly and then tentatively stepped towards the gurney. You looked down at Leah’s body, all the tubes coming out of her, the gaping wound in her chest, “Robby.” You said softly and looked up.

His eyes flicked to yours quickly, then back to Leah, “It’s Jake’s girlfriend.”

“I know.” He continued compressions and gave more orders out to the nurses that you didn’t quite understand, “How long has she been down?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I thought—I thought we had a pulse for a second.”

You nodded, “But her heart stopped a long time ago, didn’t it?”

His eyes flicked up to yours again and you saw the layers of pain there that had been ripped up, likely all day long. All culminating in this girl, this one girl he couldn’t save. That he would have never been able to save, even on a good day. And despite all the people he had already helped save today and the dozens he would save after, he would never let go of Leah.

He looked back down at Leah, “It’s Jake’s… She’s Jake’s…”

“I know, baby,” You said softly, “Have you tried everything?”

“We gave her so much blood… We transfused some of her own blood… But the bullet it… It tore through her heart…”

“That sounds like you did everything you could,” You said gently, and you felt your own tears aching at the back of your throat, “It sounds like you gave Leah the best chance you possibly could have. If this didn’t work then nothing would have.” He’s still doing compressions, grimacing as he does, “Why don’t we check her pulse one more time, okay?”

He looks up at you again, your eyes pleading for him to climb off the gurney, his eyes pleading with you not to make him give up on Leah. You lift a hand up to him, a silent offering: You don’t have to do it alone.

He looked back down at Leah for another moment and you saw him fighting with himself. And then he reached for you. His gloved, blood soaked hand wrapped around yours tightly and the weight on your chest lessened marginally.

“Sophie, could you take over compressions for a moment? Dana, do you have the doppler?”

“Yeah.”

“Has it been tested?”

“No.”

Robby let go of your hand and took the doppler from Dana, quickly checking it on his own wrist. “Ok, it’s working.” He said when the sound of his own pulse echoed. “Hold compressions.”

You held your breath when he held the doppler to Leah’s neck. The silence was deafening and you bit the inside of your cheek so hard you tasted blood. But you kept watching Robby, never looking away from him.

“Ok.” He said finally, and you heard the tears in his throat, “That’s it, we’re done.”

He put the doppler away and wrote the time of death on her wrist chart and pulled the blanket up and over her head. You reached out for his hand again, fully expecting him to push you away, but he took it, holding it like a lifeline.

“I can tell Jake.” You said softly.

“No,” He said, shaking his head, “It’s okay, I’ll do it.”

“Robby—“

He squeezed your hand once before dropping it, turning his attention elsewhere, “You should wash your hands.”

You looked down at your hands, and sure enough, they were covered in Leah’s blood from where Robby had held them.

“Thank you,” Dana said, coming up behind you, “I wasn’t sure he was ever going to stop.”

You inhale shakily, “Don’t thank me yet. He still has to tell Jake.”

You excuse yourself before she can reply, heading straight for the bathroom. The crying starts before you’ve even fully closed the door, and then when you see the bloody footprints and the blood in the sink, you only cry harder.

You thought about Jake, about how he had told you about Leah just a couple weeks ago. The two of you giggling while he showed you pictures of her, told you about the music she loved and the TV she watched. Now you're washing her blood down the sink.

You watch the pink water and suds flow from your hands down the drain and wait for your breathing to level.

After drying off your hands, you sniffle, and then steeling yourself you walk back into the ER— And straight into Kiara.

“Hey, I was looking for you. We got a couple more positive IDs in the morgue and the families are here.” She looks at you more closely, noting your red eyes and wet cheeks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… Jake’s girlfriend just died, so.” You cleared your throat, “But I’m good, I’m ready.”

She gave you a knowing look, “You’re sure?”

You shrugged and looked around, “You can’t fully process an event like this until it’s over. The only way out is through and all that. So I’m good.”

Jake was waiting for you, you remembered, but you couldn’t face him right now. Couldn’t lie to him when you had watched Robby pull that blanket up over Leah’s head.

“Alright.” Kiara said, and the two of you began walking back to the cafeteria.

***

After helping Kiara with two family notifications, you excused yourself back to the ER, wanting to check on Robby and Jake.

Walking back into the chaos was just as upsetting the second time. You clenched your fists as you walked through, looking for Robby or Dana or Abbot. The first person your eyes found was Abbot, monitoring a patient and talking a resident through a procedure.

“Hey,” You said, walking up to him, “Have you seen Robby?”

He looked up from his patient and looked around, “Hey Dana?” He shouted, “You seen Robby?”

“No,” She called back, “I was just about to ask you the same.”

“Shit,” You murmured and started walking again.

“Y/N?” Dana called.

“Yeah, I’m on it.” You called as you passed her.

You opened every room, asked every doctor and nurse you passed, but no one had seen him.

Finally, you overheard someone mention that they were using the Peds room as a makeshift morgue and it clicked.

Robby didn’t talk to you much about the pandemic or about Adamson afterwards, but when he had been in it. When he came home on this day four years ago, he had been so distraught, so desperate, he had tried at first to talk about it. And you remembered how he explained to you that they put Adamson in Peds for lack of space. It had really stuck with him, for some reason, that Adamson had died in Peds.

If now the morgue was in Peds. And Leah was in the morgue. And Robby was the one who took her there. Well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out why no one could find Robby.

You walked quickly, occasionally stopping to ask for directions or to see if anyone had seen Robby. Langdon was the most helpful, saying he saw Robby go in the morgue with Jake and then Jake came out, but not Robby.

“Hey, what’s going on with the two of you today?” You asked.

“Me and Robby?” He looked around as if to see if anyone else was listening, “Why, what have you heard? Did he say something to you?”

You raised your eyebrows, “No, but Dana said he sent you home hours ago.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “It was a misunderstanding.”

You nod and then shrug, “Okay.”

“Are you analyzing me or something?”

You give a short laugh and then start backing away from him, “Are you paying me? I don’t analyze for free, Frank. I’m very expensive.”

You were hoping to get more from Langdon on what was going on. It was becoming more and more apparent that a lot of shit had happened today during Robby’s shift even before the shooting.

But, you didn’t have time for that, you supposed. You’d have to go in blind, trust your instincts, hope to God you don’t say the wrong thing to push him away.

And when you walk into Peds, you realize just how in over your head you are.

Robby’s on the ground, Star of David necklace clutched in his hand, eyes closed tight as he shakily murmured to himself in Hebrew.

You had never seen him pray before. He had struggled with his faith after the passing of his grandmother and ever since working in the ER. As long as you’d known him, his relationship with God had been tenuous or nonexistent.

So if he was praying right now, well, that scared the shit out of you.

You lowered yourself to the ground in front of him, not touching him or saying anything, just wanting him to know you were there.

After a few moments of you sitting in front of him, his breathing just starting to level and the tears slowing, you tried to find the right thing to say. Nothing you said, you knew, would fully be able to help him process whatever this was. Whatever had happened in here with him and Jake. That was for another time.

It went against everything you were taught as a clinician to push Robby back into the work when that was the reason he was on this floor, wrecked beyond recognition. But people were dying out there. And more would die if you couldn’t manage to pull him out of the riptide.

“I heard one of your interns just did a REBOA without supervision.” His eyes darted to yours at that, “I don’t know what that means, but everyone seems pretty pissed about it.”

“What is this?” He asked, voice gravelly.

“What?”

“You’re not going to ask if I’m okay or ask me how it makes me feel that Leah’s dead and Jake blames me?”

Ah. Well, that certainly explained the situation they were in. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Jake. The closest thing he had to a son, rejecting him in his lowest moment and reaffirming every untrue belief he held about himself.

You shook your head, “I think it’s pretty clear you’re not fucking okay. None of us are okay right now.” You glanced over your shoulder through the glass door, “I could give you the heartfelt pep talk if you want, about how I know you’re the best doctor in this whole damn hospital and how I know if you couldn’t save Leah no one could and how I know Jake loves you even if he’s angry and hurting. But I don’t think you’re in the space to receive that right now.”

His breathing was shaky and he fiddled with his necklace, not looking at you anymore. You weren’t sure if you were blowing it or not, but this was the best you could do right now without falling apart yourself.

“What I think you need to hear right now is that people are still dying out there. People who are loved, who have families, just like Leah did. And they need you.”

He shook his head, sobbing, “I can’t.”

Your eyes watered and you swiped a tear from your cheek hurriedly, frustrated at yourself for crying, “I know that’s how it feels. But I also know you’ll never forgive yourself if you leave your department out there to fend for themselves all night while you sit in here.” You sniffed, “And I’m really gonna need you to forgive yourself for this someday, Michael.”

At that, he did look up at you. The unspoken words in what you were saying. You loved this man with every beat of your heart. But you weren’t sure how much longer it could go on like this. You, desperately trying to throw him a life vest and him actively swimming further away from you.

He needed to want to get better and you weren’t sure how to make him want it, to see that this was unsustainable and destroying him. And he was pulling you down with him.

Eyes glittering with tears, you rose to your feet and reached a hand out to him for the second time that day.

He looked back down at the floor for a moment and your heart sank, but then you felt the brush of his fingers on your palm. You swallowed down a sob that threatened to choke you and gripped his hand, helping him off the floor.

Once he was at his full height, you brought your hands to either side of his face and gently pulled him to you, pressing kisses to his cheeks and forehead before resting your head to his.

His breathing wavered only slightly as he rested his own hands at the base of your neck.

“Okay?” You asked tentatively after you’d both been standing there like that for a few moments.

He swallowed and nodded, “Yeah.”

As you stepped away from him, your hand trailed down his arm until you were just holding his hand. You squeezed once and he squeezed back. You dropped his hand as you turned for the door and you felt his hand at the small of your back as the two of you left Peds.

Things seemed to be beginning to slow down now. You watched from a distance as Robby breezed by you, pulled off his bloody robe and encouraged his residents. As if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t been destroyed just moments ago. It was astounding to you, the way he could so quickly shift gears.

But then, as he was putting on a new robe, Gloria appeared. You stepped closer to the hub and watched the exchange anxiously. You almost turned and walked away as things seemed to be going okay, but then the conversation shifted to discussions of unscreened blood donors and a shooter with a hit list and then Robby exploded.

“Jesus Gloria!”

You were shoulder to shoulder with Abbot when he lost it and your breath caught, “Your turn.” You murmured to Jack and backed yourself into a chair next to Dana at the hub.

“Hey, get some air, brother.” Abbot said as soon as Robby was close enough, “Go check on triage.”

When he disappeared out the ambulance bay doors, you rested your head in your hands.

“Should we be worried about him?” Abbot asked as he walked around the hub.

“Yes,” You said, “Everyone should be very, very worried about him.”

“Awesome,” Jack sighed and went back to see more patients.

You kept an eye on the ambulance bay, tears still constantly threatened to spill over. You wanted to go home, but not if Robby didn’t come with you.

“It’s slowing down, right?” You asked Dana, eyes shining as she turned to you.

She gave you a sad smile and squeezed your shoulder, “Yeah, kid. It’ll be over soon.”

***

You had sat with Jake after that until Janey came. You had squished yourself into his non-injured side and rested your head on top of his.

“You know Robby would’ve traded his life for Leah’s in a second if he could have. He would’ve done anything to not see you hurt like this.” You said gently.

Jake had sat there quietly so you had decided not to push. The two of you sat in silence for a while.

You watched Robby whenever he passed by and almost without fail, his eyes fell to Jake whenever he passed. You had heard there was a measles case in the ER. Not contagious, but it was something Robby had said to you months ago he feared the most. That this anti vaccination trend was going to boil over and sooner or later, diseases like the measles that had largely been eradicated, would return. You couldn’t believe this was happening today of all days.

When Janey got to Jake, you reluctantly left him.

“Oh, please, don’t leave on my account,” Janey said smiling, “I really appreciate you staying with him.”

“Please, it’s my pleasure,” You squeezed Jake’s hand again before climbing off his gurney, “But I really have to go find Robby and see if I can drag him home. He might collapse soon if he doesn’t get out of here.” You turned back to Jake, “You’ll text me if you need anything, right? I mean anything.”

He shrugged, “Sure, whatever.”

You knew he was acting this way probably because he saw you as an extension of Robby. And it sucked. You loved Jake. Had loved him for years now, since he was just a little kid. It would pass, you told yourself. It had to.

“Janey,” You pulled her off a little away from Jake, “This is not unsolicited advice, just an offer from a friend: I would be happy to refer him to a colleague if at any point you think he needs to talk to someone.”

Janey gave you a watery smile, “Thank you.”

“You have my number?” She nods, “Okay. Well, please, if either of you need anything, Robby and I are just a call away.”

Janey nodded, “And also not unsolicited advice, just the observation of a friend, but I’m worried about Robby. You’ll make sure he’s alright, right?”

You looked down at your hands, at the ring on your finger, then looked back up at Janey, “Right now I can’t see past the next hour or so, but I am trying my damnedest to keep him above water.”

Janey nodded and squeezed your hand before you headed back towards the hub. As you were heading there, though, you thought you heard Robby’s voice yelling coming from the elevators.

You locked eyes with Dana, and frowning, slowly turned towards the direction of the yelling. You walked down a hallway to find Robby in a heated discussion with Dr. Shen, but when his eyes landed on you he disengaged.

“While I am glad that you are… functioning again,” You said quietly, “If you keep screaming at people, I’m gonna need to forcibly bring you home.”

He had a hand on your shoulder as he steered you through the ER, “You should go home,” He said, “Nothing else for you to do here, Kiara doesn’t need you anymore, I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

“No,” You said immediately, “No, I’m sorry, I’m not leaving here without you. If you want me to leave, you’ll have to come with me.”

He sighed, “I wish you wouldn’t make this so difficult.”

You bit your lip to stop it from wobbling, “And I wish you’d stop pushing me away.”

He stares at you for a few moments, opening his mouth as if to argue when there’s a commotion at the hub that has you both turning.

“Is that… Is McKay…?” You start, but Robby’s already walking. You follow, but keep your distance, listening as he puts the cops in their place.

The pride flared in your chest, as it always does. This is the man you fell in love with, the one who stood up for what he believed in, for his students and staff, regardless of the cost.

When it’s done and they let McKay go, Gloria is back. You watch with some tension as Robby reports the status of all the mass casualty patients. But there’s no further incident and Robby walks past you on his way to another patient, “Go home.” He whispers as he walks by.

You tried not to let it hurt, how he seemed to be desperate for you to go away. But after the way the last few hours had unfolded, it was getting difficult. You parked yourself at the hub, trying to contain your sniffling as you again looked at the ring on your finger.

He was having an astronomically hard day, you knew. But had the two of you not made a great team? Weren’t you the only one who could get through to him when everything around him seemed to be crumbling?

“Hey, kid,” Dana said softly and pushed a cup of coffee your way, “You doing okay?”

You tried to smile, but nearly broke, “Fine, I’ll be fine. And you?”

She gave a short laugh, “I’ve seen better days.”

You sipped the coffee Dana had given you, “I hear that.”

***

You tried not to seem too eager the next time you saw Robby at the hub. He tells Dana that he’s stepping outside with a sandwich and a juice box, and then you feel his shadow above you, and look up, “Dana says you look like you’re experiencing an existential crisis.”

You nod, “Probably a normal reaction to what we’ve all experienced here tonight. Unlike some people in this place I don’t see experiencing the normal range of human emotions as a character flaw.”

He nodded slowly, “Is there anything I can say to get you out of here?”

You almost laughed, “Can I ask you a question? Is the insistence on getting me out of here out of concern for my emotional well being or is it just because you know I’m the only person here who can truly help you and you don’t think you deserve help?”

“And if it’s both?” He locked his red rimmed eyes with yours and gave you a sad smile.

A rare bit of honesty and it floored you. You reached for his hand, “Robby—“

“I need some air and to eat,” He said backing away, “We’ll leave soon, I promise.”

You watched him disappear into the ambulance bay, having to physically restrain yourself from following. But then, you watched Langdon follow after him.

“Oh, no.” You sighed. You debated with yourself for about thirty seconds whether or not to follow, “Fuck it.” You muttered to yourself and then followed them outside.

“—I was never high, I was just treating my own withdrawal symptoms—“

“Which you should’ve done under the care and supervision of a physician.”

Oh, fuck. You stopped walking just past the ambulance bay doors, unsure if maybe you should go back inside.

“You could’ve come to me, but instead now you could face felony charges for stealing controlled substances from a hospital.”

Holy shit. You had thought the whole thing with Langdon earlier today must’ve been related to patient care or maybe the new residents or med students. But this was much, much more than a disagreement about care or teaching methods.

“You need help.”

“What about you, man? I’m not the only one fucked up here! Look in the mirror!”

You squeezed your eyes shut. Perhaps you should go back inside. This was only going to get worse.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You heard the edge in Robby’s voice. The frustration, the exhaustion, the disappointment. He was practically begging Frank to say the quiet part out loud so he’d have an excuse to explode.

“I never had a complete meltdown.”

“No, you just cause them in other people.”

This was past the point of being a productive conversation, but you knew if you intervened you’d probably just make it worse.

“You’re blaming me for what happened to you?”

“What happened to me? What happened to me?! Oh, you are so full of shit. You let me down! You let everybody down! Especially yourself.”

Robby turned to walk back inside and you started to as well, but then Frank spoke again.

“Somebody saw you in Peds.”

Robby stopped cold. You couldn’t watch this anymore. You moved to go grab Robby, wanting to drag him inside, but he was already walking back to Frank, “Who? Y/N?”

You looked down at your shoes and tried not to feel betrayal. That he thought you would tell anyone about how you had found him, in his most vulnerable state.

“No, a night shift nurse saw you on the floor. Said it looked like—“

“Looked like what? LOOKED LIKE WHAT?!” You flinched and blew out a slow breath between your lips. “This job will fuck you up if you let it. You let it.”

Robby started walking again, still not having seen you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t the one talking to cartoon animals in Peds.”

“FUCK. YOU.” Robby shouted as he kept walking back towards the ER.

When he laid eyes on you, he almost stopped in his tracks. He shook his head and sighed, walking past you, “This is exactly why you shouldn’t be here.” He said as you followed him inside, “You shouldn't have heard that.”

“He is desperate,” You said quickly, a long shot attempt at damage control, “And experiencing withdrawal, I know you know what that does to people. He didn’t mean any of that.”

“You doing okay, man?” Abbot asked as the two of you approached the hub.

“Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you did take the parent of a patient into our makeshift morgue, never mind that it’s technically a fucking crime scene. That’s just not cool, man.”

Robby didn’t deny this, and you slowly turned to him, horror clear on your face, “Okay, you are done with patients today. Do you hear me?” He wouldn’t look at you, pretending to be very focused the chart in front of him, “Robby.” You said sharply.

Finally he looked up at you. “I know,” He said softly, “You’re right. I’m done.”

Just then Gloria came down, talking about getting Robby and Abbot in front of a press conference. It was absolutely inconceivable to you that after what had happened here today Gloria had the fucking audacity to ask for more from her doctors, but Robby must’ve sensed you were about to tell her as much because he gently put an arm in front of you and pushed you behind him.

“Trust me, Gloria, you don’t want me speaking to the press right now.”

“Or ever.” Abbot added.

After Gloria’s little speech about ER cowboy nonsense, Ellis shouted some sort of medical jargon about a patient that had both Robby and Abbot’s head shooting up.

“What the fuck?” Abbot murmured, exasperated.

To your dismay, Robby began following him, “Robby!” You called after him, “No more patients!”

“Yeah,” He called back, “I’ll just be a second.” And he disappeared behind the trauma room door.

“Unbelievable.” You sighed and watched Robby anxiously from the hub, biting at your cuticles anxiously.

A few minutes later, he came back out and started talking to Dana as he stood next to you. As he did so, he pulled your hand from your mouth to stop you from biting, holding your hand within both of his.

“Could you please find the remaining day shift so I can do a quick debrief and we can all go home?”

Dana nodded and was off and then Robby sighed heavily. Feeling brave now that he had grabbed your hand on his own, you stood in front of him.

“Hey,” You said softly, “Come here.”

To your surprise, he allowed your touch, in fact, he buried his face in your shoulder of his own volition. You lightly scratched the back of his head and turned your head inward just slightly so you could press kisses to his skin, “Everything’s going to be okay.” You said softly.

He nodded into your shoulder before gently pulling away from you and rubbing a hand over his face.

The day shift had gathered and he released your hand to walk around the front and give the debrief.

The speech was hard to listen to, the emotion in Robby’s voice unmistakable.

“None of us are gonna forget today.” He voice faltered and he rubbed at the tears in his eyes, “even if we really really want to. So, go home. Let yourselves cry. You’ll feel better. It’s just… Grief… Leaving the body.”

You swiped at your own tears as Robby finished and headed off. You immediately walked after him, following him to the memorial wall where Adamson’s portrait was.

You slowed your walk as you approached him, “He would’ve been so proud of everything you did here today.” You said softly.

Robby sniffed and nodded, “I wish he had been here.”

You nodded, “He would’ve made the same decision you did, you know? To take him off the ECMO.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, maybe.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek, “If it had been you, instead… And it was one of your students who extubated. Would you have wanted them to blame themselves like this?”

He sighed heavily, screwing his eyes shut tight.

“If it had been Heather, or Samira, …or Frank? What would you tell them?” He didn’t answer the question, which was fine. It was rhetorical, you both knew what he would say. It would sound a lot like what he had just told them all after this shift from hell. You nudged your shoulder with his, “It’s time you start showing yourself that same grace, hm?” You said gently.

He nodded and then turned to look at you. The grief had settled into his face. He had had these sad, weary eyes the entire night. “Thank you for coming today.” He said, “I know I don’t say it enough, that I push you away when I need you most—“

“It’s okay,” You said softly, “We don’t have to do this now. Not until you’ve slept and eaten. Okay?”

He nodded, blinking away the tears. He looked back towards central, “I just want to check in on Jake and then we can go.”

“Okay,” You intertwined your fingers with his, “I’ll come with you.”

The two of you walk back in to central and head towards North Three, where Jake is with Janey. As you get closer, you let go of his hand, standing just behind him as he looked at Janey and Jake, “How are we doing?”

“We’re doing okay,” Janey said and turned to Jake, “Right?”

Jake didn’t say anything and so Robby went on, “I know that this is difficult. This is gonna hurt for a long time and it’s okay if you wanna blame me. Just, please don’t blame yourself. We’ve been friends for a long time, I would hate it—“

“No we’re not friends,” Jake spat, “And you’re not my father so fuck off.”

Robby stood there frozen. You couldn’t see his face, but you could only imagine the devastation he felt even if he wasn’t showing it on his face. Your hands itched to reach for his so you clasped them in front of you instead.

“Jake.” Janey admonished, but Robby was already walking away.

“Robby,” It was Donnie now stopped him as he was walking away, “Parents of Jake’s girlfriend, Leah, are here. I put them in the viewing room.”

Robby nodded and affectionately patted Donnie on the shoulder.

“Wait, Robby,” You walked quickly to catch up to him, “I’m going with you.”

“No,” He said quickly.

“I wasn’t asking.”

He stopped and turned back to you, “You don’t work here anymore, the fact that you even helped Kiara today I know I’m gonna get shit about from Gloria—“

“Screw Gloria!” You hissed, “I mean, since when do you give a fuck what she thinks anyway? I can help.”

He sighed, “Don’t fight me on this.” He said finally, “You won’t win.”

And then he turned on his heel and left. Christ, he was so fucking frustrating today.

“Um, Dr. Y/L/N?”

You turned at the unfamiliar voice who was addressing you with such formality. She was a tiny brunette, her hair tied back in a short ponytail, and ice blue eyes.

“Y/F/N is fine.” You said, perplexed that someone you didn’t know was addressing you as Doctor. You hadn’t worked at the hospital in so long, most of the people here now simply knew you as Robby’s fiancée and either forgot or didn’t know about your PhD.

“Sorry to bother you, I’m Dr. Trinity Santos. I’m one of Dr. Robby’s new residents. I heard you used to work here? Do psych consults in the ED?”

You nodded, “Yeah, not just here, every floor. But because of the nature of the ER I was here pretty frequently. What can I do for you, Dr. Santos?”

“I have an overdose who came in from Pitt Fest and I’ve confirmed it was a suicide attempt… It’ll likely be days before he gets up to psych. I was just wondering if maybe you could have a conversation with him? Maybe point him in the direction of resources outside of the hospital?”

“Um,” You looked towards the door Robby had just left through, then back to Trinity, “Yeah. Of course. Lead the way.”

***

You sighed as you walked out of the patient’s room with Dr. Santos, “That was a really good catch on your part,” You said to her, “He seemed like a really tough egg to crack, but you got through to him. Really excellent work for an intern, Dr. Santos. Keep it up.”

She beamed at you, “Thank you. And thank you for talking to him, I really think it’ll make a difference.”

“Anytime,” You said and then turned to head back towards the viewing room.

Seeing that patient with Dr. Santos reminded you of what you missed about working at the hospital. You loved collaborating with other clinicians and physicians on a case, the team work and multiple perspectives it brought. Now, you mostly worked on your own for any given case, unless you really needed advice. But the work was more solitary now, which could be quite isolating.

As awful as tonight had been, you realized you really missed being apart of a team.

“Hey, Abbot,” You called to Jack as you got to the hub, “Have you seen Robby? He was notifying Leah’s parents, but then someone grabbed me for a consult and now I don’t see him anywhere.”

“Consult?” He tugged on the stethoscope around his neck, “I thought you don’t work here anymore?”

You tilted your head a bit, “What’re you gonna do, tell Gloria on me?” He gave a short laugh, “Seriously though, Robby?”

He sighed, “I haven’t seen him since the debrief.”

“Okay,” You tried not to panic, but you knew he must be in bad shape. But he wouldn’t go home without you, “Is there a place he goes when he’s upset? Do you think he’s just getting some air out in the ambulance bay or—“

“The roof.” Abbot said.

“Excuse me?”

Abbot scratched the back of his head, “The roof, we go to the roof sometimes to… contemplate.”

You stared at him for a moment and then scoffed, “You ER physicians and your suicidal ideation,” You pushed off the hub and started backing away, “I have half a mind to get you all admitted to psych on 72 hour holds.”

Jack laughed, “Yeah, good luck finding the beds.”

You took a brisk pace heading up to the roof and by the time you got there, you were out of breath. Stepping out into the Pittsburgh night air, you took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. The sun would rise again tomorrow. The world would keep spinning. Life would go on.

Your eyes fell to Robby, standing over the railing and far too close to the edge of the building.

And you would get Robby off this roof, safely.

You approached the railing slowly and quietly, but he heard you, his head turned slowly in your direction before he turned back to the skyline, “You shouldn’t be up here.”

“Neither should you,” You leaned on the railing, “Abbot implied you come up here a lot, though.”

He shrugged, “Maybe I just like the view.” He said, but he sniffled.

You hummed, “It is quite lovely up here.”

You swung your leg over the railing and Robby swore as he grabbed you, making sure to stabilize you before your feet got their bearings. When it seemed like you weren’t going to go flying over the edge, he released you.

“It’s you and Jake.” He murmured after the two of you had stood silently for a few moments.

You frowned, “What do you mean?”

“Every time I come up here,” He rubbed at his eyes, “I think about it. Just taking that extra step over the ledge. But I never do, because I think about leaving you and Jake and I can’t do that. But now, Jake...” He shook his head and scratched the back of his head.

“Jake loves you,” You said, “He just needs time. And you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

He shook his head, “And how long until I fuck that up for good, too?”

You inhale deeply, “You know, self fulfilling prophecies are a real thing. So if you convince yourself that you’re going to lose me, chances are you’ll continue to behave in ways that’ll make you lose me.”

He turned to look at you, “I really don’t like when you use your clinical brain to describe our relationship.”

“Sorry. It’s a defense mechanism. Knowing what’s happening and why makes me feel like I can fix it.” You sighed, “You know you can’t keep going like this, right?”

He nodded, tears tracing paths down his cheeks, “I shut down. The moment everybody needed me the most I couldn’t do it. I choked.”

You frowned, “That’s not how I remember it.”

“You know damn well I broke.”

“You didn’t break. You fell apart for a couple minutes, so fucking what? Any other feeling person in your position would have done the same. It’s a strength, not a weakness.” He was shaking his head, “106 people get to go home because of your leadership. I think that more than outweighs the two minutes you took to cry.”

You climbed over the railing and held out a hand to him, “Now I’d like to go home, if you have no further objections.”

You watched his shoulders heave shakily for a few moments before he finally turned and grabbed your hand.

***

Walking through the threshold of the home you shared with Robby nearly made you fall to your knees after the last several hours in the hospital. It was messy, neither of you had had a chance to clean in a while. Unopened mail piled on the console table. Books strewn haphazardly around the living room. A half done crocheting project you had started a week ago was abandoned on the couch. Robby’s toolbox sat, opened by the door to the guest room that he had attempted to replace the doorknob on, but never finished. The dishwasher was full and clean, needing to be emptied and reloaded with the dirty dishes that sat in the sink.

Regardless of the mess, you felt the tension start to ebb out of your body as the warm lights lit up a path to the living room. Unceremoniously, you threw some books and a stray remote out of the way before turning to Robby and forcing him to sit on the couch,

“I’m going to run you a bath,” You said, “Think about what you want to order for takeout?”

“I’m not hungry.” He said, and then reached for you, pulling you straight on top of him.

You chuckled, “Let me go run the bath for you, please?”

He wrapped his arms tightly around you, securing you to his chest, and he kissed your hair, “Just stay with me for a few minutes?”

The smell of him and the feel of his arms around you were more than a bit enticing, unfortunately. You sank into him, pressing your nose into his neck, “Fine. But only a few minutes.”

The rhythm of his breathing, of his heart beat against your skin, lulled you into that place just between waking and dreaming. You hummed, “If I don’t get up now, I’m gonna fall asleep.”

“Would that be so bad?” His voice was thick with exhaustion.

You yawned, “Yes, actually. Your back will be absolutely fucked tomorrow if you fall asleep on this couch.”

You pushed yourself off him and he rubbed his hands over his face. After starting the bath, you went to the fridge and pulled out a container of left over pasta. Grabbing a fork, you took the cold pasta back to the couch and took a bite. You speared a few more noodles and put it in front of Robby’s mouth.

He looked up at you with annoyance, “I said I wasn’t hungry.”

“Just a couple bites, please.”

He sighed heavily, but opened his mouth and watched as you grinned with satisfaction as you fed him the cold pasta.

A few minutes later you put the pasta away and checked on the bath, which was now full. Turning off the water, you headed back to the living room. Robby was still lying on the couch, eyes red rimmed as he stared at the ceiling.

“Come on, baby,” You said softly, holding out your hand, “Bath’s ready.”

He wordlessly took your hand, allowed you to lead him into the bathroom. He watched you carefully as you helped him take off his clothes. “Are you okay?” He asked, softly enough that you weren’t sure you heard him correctly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said quickly, but he stilled you by gently grabbing your wrists.

“Look at me,” Your eyes flicked up to his, “Are you okay?” He asked again.

You blinked rapidly to dispel the burning that was quickly accumulating at the back of your eyes, “I’ll be fine.” You said slowly and nodded your head towards the bath, “Get in, please, before it gets cold.”

He let your non answer pass for the moment, but you knew he wasn’t going to let it go. As much as your persistence on his own well being irritated him, he could be the same way when you were clearly unwell and not being honest about it.

“Get in with me.” He said, already tugging at your clothes.

You sighed, “This is for you, I’m trying to take care of you.”

“Yes,” He smiled tightly, unbuttoning your pants and gently tugging down, “And I want you in the bath with me. Okay?”

You could feel your eyes beginning to water, which is exactly what you didn’t want. You wanted, needed, desperately to focus on the act of taking care of Michael so that you wouldn’t fall apart. And now he was shifting the focus.

He lowered himself in first and then held out a hand for you, helping as you lowered yourself in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist and gently pulled until your back was flush to his chest.

Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed the side of your neck, “Thank you,” He murmured against your skin, “For not giving up on me today even though I was a bit of a jerk to you.”

“I know you don’t mean it,” You said, “Most of the time when you push me away it’s because you think you don’t deserve the help, not because you don’t want it.”

You both listened to the drip of the faucet for a few moments in silence before he spoke, “I think I’d like to start seeing a therapist.” He said slowly, “If you know a guy.”

The corners of your lips inched up just slightly, “I’ve had a whole roster ready for you for about two years now, take your pick. I’ll print out a list tomorrow.”

He hummed, “I don’t want to lose you,” He said slowly, “And I know if you were anyone else, you likely would’ve been out that door years ago. So, I’m…” He takes a deep, shuddering breath and you place a hand on his thigh beneath the water, squeezing encouragingly, “I’m going to get better. I’m going to be the man you deserve.”

You were encouraged by him finally admitting that something was wrong. He had never done that before. He had never asked you for a referral. But you knew it was still a long road. Things would continue to be very difficult going forward. But if he was willing to try and fight for you, for himself, that was enough for right now.

“I love you,” You said softly, “And I’m going to hold you to this, just so you know.”

“I know,” He pressed his mouth to your shoulder, his beard scratching at your skin, “I love you too.”

“I want to come back to the hospital,” You said after the two of you had been sitting in silence for a few minutes.

You felt him inhale heavily behind you, “I don’t need a babysitter—“

“Not because of you,” You said quickly, “Though I won’t act like it wouldn’t ease my own anxiety being nearby while we’re working. But I… miss being on a care team, the collaboration. I realized today how isolating it is working at a clinic.”

“Well,” He sighed, “I miss working with you, too, actually. The other psychologists don’t laugh at my jokes.”

You huffed a laugh through your nose, “Hate to tell you, Robinavitch, but most of the time I was laughing at your jokes it was because I had a massive crush on you, not because I found them funny.”

You felt his chest rumble with laughter behind you and your heart swelled with the sound.

Later, when the two of you finally climbed into bed, he pulled you to him, your foreheads bent together. Your hand rested gently on his cheek.

You both sat in the dark like that for a while, silently mulling over the events of the day. You couldn’t get the feeling of Leah’s blood on your hands out of your head. The look on Robby’s face when he had finally called time of death. The families you had had to tell that their child, sibling, spouse was dead.

You don’t know which of you started crying first, just that once it started, one of you clawed for the other, pulling each other as close as your bodies would allow. Without any words exchanged between you, you both just held onto each other as wave after wave of grief rolled through. Until eventually, the tears dried and sleep came for them, still wrapped up in one another’s arms.

The moon and the stars faded and the sun rose again.

[inseobts]

Sleight of Heart

nami x fem!reader

you flirt with men to manipulate them and get whatever you want from them, so what happens when you meet the strawhats?

a/n: happy pride month, my sapphics ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

words count: 4.7k

tags: slow burn, thief x thief, post-timeskip, enemies to lovers, clever reader, tension

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

The sun burns bright over Asteria, a busy island full of life, music, and secrets. The Strawhat crew walks through the main market street, loud and colorful as always. You see them from a rooftop, leaning over a balcony with a half-eaten apple in your hand.

You already know who they are.

Monkey D. Luffy. Pirate captain. Rubber boy. Big smile. Easy to fool, if he’s distracted.

Roronoa Zoro. Strong. Grumpy. Bad with directions. Not your target.

Nico Robin. Too smart. Too calm. Too risky.

Franky, Usopp, Brook, Chopper… All dangerous in their own ways. At least for what you have in mind.

Vinsmoke Sanji...

Ah, Sanji. Weak for a pretty face.

Bingo!

But the one to truly worry about?

Nami.

You see her now, walking near the back of the group. Arms crossed. Eyes scanning. Calculating. You can almost feel her sharp mind from up here.

She’s just like you.

Too bad.

You jump down from the roof, land silently in a side alley, and slip into the crowd. You wait, moving carefully. You smile when Sanji walks closer.

Now or never.

You step into the open and “accidentally” bump into him.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” you say in a sweet voice, placing your hand on his chest lightly.

Sanji’s eyes turn into hearts instantly.

“Mon dieu! Are you okay, mademoiselle?” he asks, taking your hand and holding it like it’s made of gold.

You already slipped your fingers into his coat. There’s a bag of beli in there, too easy.

But before your hand can close around it, another hand grabs your wrist.

Strong. Quick.

“Nice try.”

You look up, and there she is. Nami. Amber eyes locked onto yours. She caught you but you don’t flinch.

Instead, you smirk “Took you long enough.”

Her eyebrows twitch “You knew I was watching?”

“I was counting on it.”

You twist your wrist, not to break free, but to slide a small coin into her palm. Her fingers close around it by instinct. She opens them. The coin is fake, cheap metal, painted gold.

Nami looks at it. Then at you.

You’re already gone.

Vanished into the crowd.

Back on the Sunny, Nami stares at the fake coin.

Robin notices “Trouble?”

“Maybe.” Nami slips the coin into her pocket “She’s good.”

Robin smiles “Good enough to fool you?”

Nami doesn’t answer but her lips curl into a tiny, curious smile “Not for long.”

The diner is loud. Full of clinking silverware, sizzling oil, and way too much talking. It smells like grilled fish and spiced rum. The Strawhats sit at a corner table, taking up too much space as usual.

You spot them through the window.

You grin.

They don’t see you yet. Not until you open the door and walk in like you belong there. No disguise, no tricks. Just confidence.

You grab a chair from a nearby table and drag it across the floor. The sound makes Zoro glance over. Luffy pauses mid-bite. Sanji... oh, he lights up the moment he sees you.

You sit down at their table like you’ve been invited “Miss me?”

“Angel!” Sanji gasps, nearly knocking over a glass “What a miracle—did fate bring you back to me so soon?”

You lean your elbow on the table, chin in your hand “Maybe I just like the way you blush.”

He practically melts into his suit.

“You shouldn’t be here” Nami says from across the table, arms crossed.

You don’t look at her.

You keep your eyes on Sanji “Is this the part where someone kicks me out?”

Luffy shrugs “You seem fun. I vote she stays.”

Chopper giggles. Usopp is nervous but interested. Brook’s just happy to have another pretty face at the table.

Zoro says nothing, which probably means he’s watching too closely.

“Can I get you something, mademoiselle?” Sanji asks, already rising from his seat “What do you drink? Wine? Tea? Something sweet like your voice?”

You tilt your head “Surprise me.”

Sanji bows low and rushes off to the counter.

You finally turn to Nami. She hasn’t stopped staring.

“Relax,” you say “I’m not here to rob you… again.”

“Then why are you here?”

You smirk “I like to fool men. Can you blame me?”

She blinks once. Not offended. Not angry.

Intrigued.

“You’re honest” she says slowly.

“Only when it makes people trust me.”

She nods once, almost like approval. But there’s something else under her gaze now... curiosity. Calculation. Maybe even respect.

“You know you won’t get far with Sanji” she says.

“Oh, I know,” you say with a wicked smile “But watch this.”

Sanji comes back with a fancy glass filled with something pink and fruity. A paper umbrella leans on the rim.

“For the goddess at our table” he announces, placing it in front of you.

You take a sip “Delicious. You made it?”

“Of course! I used—”

You interrupt, leaning in “You always treat strangers this nice? Or just the ones with long eyelashes?”

He stutters “N-no! I mean—yes? I mean—uh—it’s not like that!”

You laugh. It’s charming. Loud enough to make a few heads turn.

“Relax. You’re adorable.” you say, tapping his chest lightly.

His eyes go soft “I would die for you.”

You raise an eyebrow “Would you tell me anything I asked?”

“Anything!”

“Even secrets?”

He looks around, drops his voice, and leans in like a schoolboy “You wanna hear how I once cried over a sea king because it reminded me of a soup my mom used to make?”

Your smile grows wider.

Nami watches this with raised brows.

You glance her way, then wink.

You twirl the umbrella from your drink between your fingers, eyes moving from one Strawhat to the next.

Sanji’s already yours. He hangs off every word you say like you’re some sea goddess he dreamed into existence.

Brook’s not hard either. You only had to compliment his style and call him “elegant” before he offered to write you a song “May I see your panties?” he asked, and you only laughed. Poor guy nearly exploded when you said, “Buy me dessert first.”

Usopp? Easier than expected. You said, “You look like a man who’s seen real danger” and he told you five war stories in two minutes. You told him his aim must be deadly, he blushed red and nearly spilled his water.

Chopper shyly asked if you were a doctor too. You leaned in and whispered, “Only the kind that heals broken hearts.” He squeaked and hid behind his hat.

Even Franky cracked when you complimented his “super” arms and asked if he could build you a weapon one day.

Luffy… okay, maybe not “seduced” but even he’s laughing at your jokes now. You told him he has the best smile in the world. He gave you a piece of his meat.

Robin sips her tea slowly, watching it all unfold. She doesn’t say much but she’s watching.

“You’re really good at this” she says at last, smiling.

You smirk “I study people. Their tells, their weaknesses. Most men just want someone who listens. Or laughs. Or touches their hand at the right time.”

Nami raises an eyebrow “So that’s your trick? Manipulation?”

“Call it… understanding.” You shrug.

Robin chuckles behind her hand “You’ve gotten into all of them.”

“All but one...” Nami says, standing from her seat. She points across the table.

Zoro sits there, arms crossed, one eye half-closed, sipping his drink like this entire thing bores him.

You grin “Ah. The hard one.”

“If you can crack him,” Nami says, folding her arms, “I’ll give you something I’ve never told anyone about. A treasure I found on Skarva Island. Secret map. Gold. Real deal.”

Robin arches an eyebrow “You never told me about that.”

Nami just smiles “Didn’t need to.”

You look at Zoro, then back at Nami “You’re serious?”

“Dead serious.”

You lean back in your chair, cracking your knuckles “Oh, now this is fun.”

Zoro hasn’t said a word in ten minutes. He’s just sitting there, arms folded, eye on you like he’s waiting for something to impress him.

You know the type. Stoic. Quiet. Sharp under the silence.

You lean your elbows on the table, turning your full attention to him now.

“Zoro, right?” you say casually.

He grunts “Mm.”

You rest your chin in your hand “Swordsman. Second-in-command. Scary.”

He doesn’t answer.

You smile “You don’t talk much.”

“Nope.”

“Because you’re mysterious? Or because you just hate people?”

“Both.”

That gets a soft laugh out of Robin. Even Nami cracks a half-smile.

You nod slowly “You know… the strong silent type is the easiest to read.”

Zoro raises an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced “Oh yeah?”

You lean in a little “You watch everything, but you don’t say anything. That means you trust your instincts more than people.”

He blinks. Stays quiet.

“But here’s the catch,” you go on, tone softening just a bit “People like you don’t hate people. They hate wasting time on people. There’s a difference.”

You meet his gaze. Steady. Calm.

“And I think,” you continue, lowering your voice just slightly, “you already knew I wasn’t a threat.”

His eye narrows.

You grin.

“That’s why you didn’t stop me before. And you were watching if someone else would.” You nod toward Nami.

Zoro doesn’t smile but he gives the smallest shrug, and says, “You talk too much.”

You lean back and cross your arms smugly “Which is your way of saying I’m not wrong.”

Zoro does a short nod towards you before drinking again. Which means you’re right.

Robin claps once, slowly, amused.

“Impressive” she says.

Nami leans forward on the table, hands steepled, eyes on you now with intent.

“Alright,” she says “You win.”

You raise an eyebrow “The treasure?”

She taps her pocket, smirking “We’ll talk about it.”

Later, most of the crew gets distracted arguing over dessert. Sanji is still telling Brook about how your smile “cured his heart.” You, Robin, and Nami linger at the table, your drink now halfway gone.

Robin leans over, voice low and curious “So tell us the truth. Why all the charm games?”

You swirl your glass gently “Men are easy. Predictable. They react fast. It’s all surface-level with them.”

Nami quirks a brow “So you don’t actually like any of them?”

You smile. Not flirtatious this time. A little softer “No. I don’t play with people I’m interested in. That’d be too messy. Too… distracting.”

Robin watches you with interest “So… women?”

You meet her gaze, then glance toward Nami. You speak slowly, honestly this time.

“I don’t joke about women.” you say “They don’t deserve that. When I speak to a woman, I want it to mean something.”

Nami’s quiet. She stares at you for a beat too long.

Robin looks between you both, then just sips her drink.

“So…” Nami says eventually, voice quieter now, “you play men… but you respect women.”

You nod once “Exactly.”

She leans back in her chair, studying you again. But it’s different now. Less suspicion, more… interest. Like she’s trying to figure out what kind of game this is, but maybe hoping it’s not a game at all.

“Alright,” Nami says, slowly, “what do you mean… when you speak to me?”

You grin “I guess you’ll have to keep talking to find out.”

You’re still sitting with Robin and Nami, tension slowly turning into something warmer, when a sudden voice cuts through the table:

“Hey!”

It’s Luffy. Of course.

He’s leaning over three empty dessert plates like they wronged him, hands on the table, grinning at you.

“You should join my crew.”

Your eyebrows shoot up “…Sorry, what?”

“You’re sneaky!” Luffy says, like it’s a compliment “You’re fun. You tricked everybody. And you’re smart like Robin but more annoying, like Nami.”

“Wow, thanks” Nami mutters.

“I mean it,” Luffy insists “You could be useful for missions. Infiltrate stuff. Get into places. Pretend to be people. Like a spy! That’s cool.”

You blink, then laugh “You want a con artist on your ship?”

He grins wide “Yup!”

Usopp leans in “That’s actually not a bad idea. We’re always getting chased or caught.”

Sanji’s eyes sparkle “As long as she’s on our side…”

“I am not babysitting another thief” Nami cuts in but her voice is dry, not angry.

Robin tilts her head, smiling “She’s already halfway in.”

Zoro shrugs “Just don’t steal my swords and we’re fine.”

Chopper tugs your sleeve “Can you fight, though?”

Luffy’s eyes widen “Yeah! Can you fight?”

You lean back, stretch your arms above your head, then smirk “I don’t pick fights. But I finish them. Okay, that was corny, but look.”

You reach down and lift your pant leg, revealing a slim blade strapped to your thigh. Not flashy, silent. Practical. Deadly.

“Knives,” you say “Fast, quiet, and sharp.”

Robin nods “Elegant choice.”

Nami tilts her head “Do you use them well?”

You grab your knife, point at a bounty poster at the other side of the local, all people in the middle enjoying their night.

“Look at the “O” of “dead Or alive”.”

You throw the knife without even thinking twice and hit right in the middle of the “O”.

Everyone at the table goes quiet.

You turn back, raise your glass, and smile “Good enough?”

Luffy slams both hands on the table “You’re joining.”

You pause, sipping the last of your drink, watching them all. This is insane. Reckless. Completely dangerous.

But… kind of perfect.

You finally set the glass down.

“Alright,” you say “I’m in.”

Later, as everyone leaves the diner and heads toward the Sunny, Nami walks beside you, her arms crossed, a smile just playing on her lips.

“You really said yes.”

“I like chaos” you say.

She glances sideways “You’re gonna regret this.”

You nudge her with your shoulder “I doubt it. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.”

Nami slows her steps just slightly, walking closer “…Let’s see if you can keep up.”

You smirk “Oh, I plan to do more than that.”

It’s been almost two years since you joined the Straw Hats.

You’re not the new one anymore. You’re family. You share the table. The chaos. The fights. The treasure. The sky above the Sunny at night.

And most of all, you’ve earned your place.

Your role? Simple. Infiltrate. Extract. Disappear.

It’s your gift. You blend in. Play a role. Men talk too much when you smile the right way. Say the right thing. It’s always worked.

Until now.

You’re inside a high-end lounge in Arcaen Port, dressed sharp, drink untouched, eyes locked on your target across the velvet booth.

Except your target… is a woman.

She’s calm. Powerful. She’s watching you the same way you usually watch others. And you freeze.

You hesitate... not out of fear, but out of something else.

This isn’t the game you usually play. Women aren’t pawns. They’re not jokes. They don’t deserve to be manipulated. And they don't let people manipulated them.

That’s always been your rule.

But this woman has the information you need. Info on a Celestial delivery, something that could save thousands. Luffy’s counting on you. So is the rest of the crew. Franky needs it to stop a weapons shipment too.

You take a breath. Let the moment settle in your chest.

Your voice goes soft. Flirtatious “I couldn’t help noticing the way you walk like you own the room.”

The woman smiles, leaning closer.

Hook set.

But somewhere on the sea, back on the Sunny, Nami watches through the transponder snail video feed. Robin beside her, calm as always.

The rest of the crew is off deck, but Nami stayed behind, “just in case.”

She’s used to this. You, sweet-talking idiots who fall for your smirk. It never bothered her.

Not when it was men.

But this... this is different.

You hesitate at first. She saw it. The slight twitch in your eye. The flicker of something in your hand.

And then you push past it.

You lean into the woman. Smile. Tilt your head the way Nami knows too well. Touch her wrist. Laugh.

Nami’s stomach twists.

Robin is quiet. Watching. Always watching.

“You okay?” she asks, softly.

Nami crosses her arms, a little too tight “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Robin’s gaze lingers on her. But she doesn’t push.

Nami focuses back on the screen, where you’re now sliding closer to the woman. Saying something low. Intimate.

And something burns under her skin.

Jealousy.

A feeling she doesn’t recognize at first, because she’s never let herself have it. Never thought you with those men mattered.

But seeing you with a woman, doing what you swore you never would... it changes everything. Because now it could be real.

And Nami suddenly realizes something she didn’t want to admit.

She doesn’t want to watch this anymore.

She wants you.

Back on the Sunny, it’s chaos in quiet voices.

Sanji is pacing. Chopper is gnawing on his hoof. Usopp’s leaning on the railing, muttering, “She’s fine, right? She has to be fine.”

Nami’s already halfway to the mini-boat. Boots laced, windbreaker half-zipped, stubborn fire in her eyes.

“She said she doesn’t flirt with women,” she snaps “And now she’s all over one? What if something’s wrong?”

“She can handle it, Nami,” Zoro says flatly, arms crossed “You going there now could blow the whole thing.”

“She’s not stupid,” Robin says calmly “If she crossed her own line, it’s because it mattered.”

“You don’t get it,” Nami says suddenly, her voice rising “She—She’s reckless and arrogant and she thinks she’s untouchable—”

Luffy tilts his head “You’re mad?”

“Yes, I’m mad!” she snaps, throwing her arms up “She always flirts like it’s nothing! With every guy in every town! And now it’s with a woman and—”

She stops herself.

Everyone is quiet.

Even Sanji, for once, doesn’t speak.

Nami exhales, sharp and fast. Her fingers twitch like she wants to hit something and then, colder, she mutters “I hate her.”

Silence.

The kind of silence that doesn’t belong on this ship.

The kind that stretches a second too long.

And then your voice “Good to know.”

They all turn.

You’re standing at the edge of the deck, soaked in dim moonlight, cloak fluttering in the breeze. The shadows under your eyes say you heard enough.

Your tone is even, but there’s something off. The sharp glint that usually dances in your words is gone.

Nami’s eyes go wide.

You step onto the deck, holding up a small rolled scroll and a black coin “I got everything you needed. Names, routes, drop points. She cracked after three drinks and a smile.”

No one speaks.

You look… wrong.

Not physically hurt. Not bruised. But dimmed.

You hand the scroll to Robin without meeting her eyes.

“I’m gonna get some air” you mutter.

And just like that, you turn and walk toward the back of the ship, disappearing into the shadows near the observation deck.

The silence left behind is loud.

Luffy sits down, cross-legged, eyes on the floor “She looked… sad.”

“She never looks like that.” Usopp murmurs.

Robin just holds the scroll tight, her expression unreadable.

And Nami’s still frozen. Staring at where you stood. The wind tugging her hair around her face.

Her hands are clenched at her sides.

She doesn’t say a word.

You haven’t come back down since.

You’re still somewhere above, maybe the observation deck, maybe the crow’s nest. No one knows. Or maybe they just pretend not to.

Dinner came and went. You didn’t eat.

You always eat.

Sanji cooked your favorite. Left it warming, just in case. No one touched it.

Now, the moon is high, casting silver light across the Sunny’s deck. The sea is quiet. Almost too quiet.

Nami is pacing. Barefoot. Hair tied back. Jaw tight.

“She heard me,” she says for the fifth time “She heard me say I hate her.”

“She also heard the part before that.” Robin adds gently, sipping from a cup of warm tea.

Sanji leans against the mast, arms crossed, for once not playing the romantic fool “You don’t hate her.”

“I know I don’t!” Nami snaps “That’s the problem!”

Robin glances sideways at her “Then maybe it’s time you tell her.”

“I can’t just walk up there and say ‘Surprise, I don’t really hate you, I actually might be in love with you, sorry for being jealous of someone who didn’t even matter.’”

“Why not?” Sanji says simply.

Nami glares “You’re seriously okay with this?”

Sanji shrugs “You think I haven’t noticed? The way you look at her when she’s not watching? You only get mad when she flirts with someone smart. And now that she had to flirts with a woman.”

Nami groans “Sanji…”

He smiles softly, but it’s not his usual over-the-top grin “I want the both of you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me. That’s what love’s supposed to mean, right?”

Robin places a hand on Nami’s arm “You’re not alone in this. But she is. Right now. And that’s not fair.”

Nami’s shoulders drop. Her chest is tight.

She doesn’t like feelings. Doesn’t like being soft.

But this one’s already slipped through the cracks.

“Okay,” she whispers “Okay. I’ll go.”

You’re sitting at the back of the ship, legs dangling over the railing. The breeze cools your skin. You’re watching the stars but not really seeing them.

You didn’t cry. Not really. But your chest aches.

You always told yourself women were off-limits. You respected them too much. Admired them. Needed them to be real, not illusions.

And now Nami, of all people, thinks you’re just another act.

“Hey.”

You freeze at the voice behind you.

Nami steps slowly into view, hands in her pockets, hair messy from the wind.

“I’m not here to fight...” she says “Or yell. Or… accuse.”

You don’t speak.

“I messed up,” she continues “I got jealous, and instead of admitting it, I acted like a child. I said something I didn’t mean.”

You glance at her, finally “Why did it matter? Me flirting with her?”

Nami swallows “Because it was real.”

You tense.

“Because it wasn’t a game anymore,” she says quietly “Because you looked at her like you meant it. And that scared me.”

You stare at the waves “I didn’t mean it.”

A pause.

“I only did it for the mission,” you add “Even though it felt wrong. Even though I hated myself for it. Because I thought I could handle it for one time.”

Nami walks closer, sits beside you on the rail. Close, but not touching.

“I never wanted to be someone who made you feel like you weren’t safe here,” she says “But I did. And I’m sorry.”

The silence stretches again.

This time, it feels softer.

You speak low “Why are you really here, Nami?”

She meets your eyes, and her voice is so raw it almost hurts.

“Because I don’t hate you,” she says “I think I might… actually like you... like LIKE you… love… love you.”

Your breath catches.

You blink, stunned and then for the first time in days you smile.

The world is quiet.

Just the gentle hush of waves against the Sunny’s hull. The occasional creak of the ship. Stars hanging above you, soft and endless.

You stare at her.

Her words echo in your chest.

It’s everything and nothing. It’s terrifying. It’s real.

You laugh, breathless “You’re not saying that just because you feel guilty, are you?”

Nami rolls her eyes “Do I look like someone who says ‘I love you’ to fix guilt?”

“…Fair.”

She glances down, fingers brushing the edge of the railing beside you “I’m saying it because watching you with that woman—watching you break your own rules—made me realize something.”

You tilt your head “What?”

“That I don’t want anyone else getting that close to you again,” she murmurs “Even for a mission.”

You don’t say anything. You just look at her.

Her voice lowers “Not because I own you. But because I want to be the one who gets to be close.”

It comes out of you before you can stop it.

“Then be close.”

She blinks. Breath catches.

You shift. Slowly. Cautiously. A hand reaches out, halfway between you and her, fingers hovering.

Her hand meets yours.

Fingers slide together like they were always supposed to.

You watch her eyes. There’s still that spark. That fire. But it’s softer now. Waiting.

You lean in.

She meets you halfway.

The kiss is slow.

Not rushed. Not desperate. Just real.

Her lips are warm, sure. Her hand finds your cheek. You hold her waist. The world tilts for a moment, but you don’t fall. Not this time.

When you pull back, your forehead rests against hers.

Nami’s smiling.

So are you.

“Finally” she whispers.

You laugh “Yeah. Took us long enough.”

From somewhere above, faintly “WHOOOOOOA!!”

You freeze.

Nami freezes.

You both whip your heads up toward the crow’s nest.

Sanji’s head immediately disappears.

Robin’s voice follows, calm as ever “Sanji. We talked about spying.”

“IT WAS TOO ROMANTIC TO IGNORE” Sanji yells from somewhere off-screen.

You groan, covering your face. Nami’s laugh shakes her shoulders, and this time when she kisses you, quick and soft and just yours, she doesn’t hold back.

The next island is bright, busy, and full of overly confident men in shiny coats who think they invented charm.

Perfect hunting grounds.

The mission? Infiltrate a minor noble’s gala to collect intel about a secret Marine experiment. You and Robin are the inside team. Sanji’s security backup. Nami… is in charge of recon.

Or so she insists.

“Can I trust you not to fall in love in there?” Nami asks, arms crossed, eyebrow raised, the picture of dramatic girlfriend energy. You’re already halfway into your gala disguise: sleek dress, earrings, confidence dialed to ten.

You grin “You can trust me to do the job.”

“That’s not an answer.”

You lean in, kiss her on the cheek “I’ll be back before midnight. Try not to burn the ship out of jealousy while I’m gone.”

“Don’t test me.” she grumbles, but her cheeks are already pink.

Robin smiles softly beside you “You two are worse than Luffy and meat.”

Inside the Gala

“Darling,” purrs a man in gold-trimmed boots, bowing too low “Surely you’ve never been kissed by a general before?”

You smile politely, hand grazing his wrist just long enough to lift the coded invitation from his pocket.

“Not yet.” you reply sweetly.

Robin snorts behind her wine glass.

“I swear I’m going to stab someone.” Nami growls from the comms, listening in from the ship.

“You said she was retired from flirting.” Sanji whispers dramatically.

“She lied!”

Back on the Sunny, hours later you strut up the gangplank, mission completed, dress a little rumpled, earrings gone, but smiling wide. Robin follows, calm as always.

“Hey, I got it!” you call “They’re planning to move the research to a sky island in a week. And the general thinks I like poetry.”

Luffy cheers “Let’s go steal stuff from the sky!!”

Franky whoops. Chopper claps. Usopp asks about fireworks.

Nami’s marching down the deck, fire in her eyes.

“You told him you like poetry?” she demands.

“It helped” you say innocently.

“You winked five times.”

“You were counting?”

She throws her hands in the air “I am dating the most frustrating woman in the world!”

You grin and tug her closer by the waist “Yeah, but I came back to you.”

That slows her. Just a bit.

Then she rolls her eyes and kisses you anyway “Next mission, I’m going in.”

“You sure?” you tease “I’m the master of disguise here.”

“I am the queen of jealousy.”

“That’s for sure.”

She squints at you “You want to test that?”

Robin sips tea behind you two “Please do. It’s entertaining.”

Sanji sighs dramatically in the background “Why are all the beautiful women already dating each other…”

Later that night, you lie on the deck with Nami curled against your side, her head on your shoulder, the sea whispering around you.

“You’re really not mad?” you ask softly.

She shakes her head “I’m always going to get a little jealous. But that’s just because I care.”

You smile, brushing her hair from her face “I’ll stop if you ask me to.”

She pauses.

Then grins “Don’t. I kind of like watching you work.”

You blink “Wait, what?”

“I said nothing.”

“Nami—”

“Goodnight.”

“NA—”

She kisses you again.

And just like that, the sea rolls on, and the two lovers lie under the stars, wrapped in sails, secrets, and the sweetest kind of trouble.

[archives-of-a-hidden-writer]

Something Else Entirely

Thanos / Choi Su-Bong X Nonchalant!Cold!Reader

》Typing... |

》 [Entry No.005 - Something Else Entirely]|

》 Loading Archive Entry "Something Else Entirely" |

》 Location of Entry: Archivial's |

》 Tip: Feel free to support the Archiver |

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》 Notice: Cataloged Entry, Part: I (II) III IV

》 Summary: Where, somehow, Thanos kept choosing you over his others without hesitation more often in the 3rd game, which led to confusion and feelings to be said. |

》 Warnings: SPOILERS TO EPISODE 5 / GAME 2 AND 3, Change of story(Both during possibly after the entry), Reader is player '457', Thanos chose to recruit you instead of Se-mi and Min-su in the 2nd game, Blood, Violence, Mentions of Drug Use, Spilled Confession(He screamed it out), Shouting, Swearing, slight not-so nsfw(PDA), Reader chose 'x' twice. |

》 Archive Entry Loaded ◇

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The next day in this damned place seemed to have passed by quickly as you and other players were now being transferred and walked towards the second game. Of course, this meant yesterday's voting system ended with continuing to the second game.

You knew everyone here had decided to play the games due to their debts, but unlike them, you didn't have that much debt in you to surpass the millions like the, but you dislike the thought of spending your hard-earned money on debts you barely even recall now. So the rounded-up cash after the first round was closely enough for you, making you choose to leave the games immediately.

But, of course, that didn't happen as you all entered a new room you deciphered as where the 2nd game would occur.

As the doors you all entered from closed, the first instruction was announced. To find a team in groups of 5.

Being the unphased person you are, you just waited for someone to ask you if you can join their team. As everyone scrambled to find people to join them, you walked around the area, awaiting for someone to ask you to join them.

Of course, that happened as someone shouted your number.

"457!" A voice called out from behind. You turned to see player 230, giving you a wave. You raised an eyebrow and asked, "Want me to join you guys?" You said, turning your full body torwards them.

Player 230 nodded with a big smile, clearly ignoring the 'x' patch on your jacket. "Sure is, do you know who I am?" He replied, pointing at himself as he asked the question. You raised your eyebrow again at this, "The infamous rapper, Thanos?" You answered, earning a thumbs up from Thanos and his two friends before freestyle rapping who he was.

After that, he asked for your name, in which you gave him a nickname instead, not wanting to give out anything that much yet. He then patted my shoulder and winked at me. "Don't worry, baby. I'll protect you," he said, giving me a finger heart. I just scoffed at his action, turning away as I noticed there were only four members. But soon after that, one of Thanos' friends found another player to join.

The announcer later spoke, telling everyone about the 2nd game's mechanic, the six-legged pentathlon. The mini-games given were said out, and you looked over to your teammates as they listened before settling on who would play which game. Luckily for them, you played gonggi in the past, so that game is yours to play once your team is up.

"Okay, you good with gonggi?" Player 124, which you now know as Nam-gyu, asked, earning a nod from you. They then started picking out their own games to choose and play later.

■■■

"Goddammit, a lot of people survived," Nam-gyu groaned as we noticed another batch of players enter the room again. All five of you finished the 2nd game, now waiting for every player to either lose or win.

You hummed in return as the thought last group entered the dormitory. You leaned back into the bunk's metal stands, deep in thought. However, it was soon diminished by Thanos slinging an arm across your shoulders.

He said your nickname and praised you for your game earlier, "You did amazing there!" Thanos exclaimed before imitating how you did in the 2nd game.

Soon, the 2nd game came to an end as the pink guards entered the room once more to announce the new amount.

You looked up at the piggy bank in the ceiling before darting back onto the screen above the pink guards, the price of money doubling its amount. To you, it was far more than enough for you.

■■■

"457, just one more round, 'kay?" Nam-gyu said, shaking you by your shoulders as he spoke. He took notice of the red patch, but you pushed him off, your mind had already decided from the start.

Thanos, of course, noticed this and stood between you and Nam-gyu, earning a confused look from Nam-gyu, but deciding on shrugging it off as Thanos being high on his ass again.

But little by little, you've noticed how close Thanos was to you, even back at the 2nd game, he sat close to you, and even during the games, he attempted to have a hand on you from behind.

You, at first, thought of it as him on his drugs, but soon, you started thinking otherwise. And those thoughts continued further as he seemingly blocked you off from Nam-gyu's persuasions despite wanting the same thing.

The voting commenced with player 001 being the first to vote, who chose 'x' this time around. Other players were soon called one-by-one.

As it continues around the halfway mark, player 001 suddenly disrupts the players, causing a scene throughout players that inevitably pushes players to play one more round, adding things like the games are for kids and it's that easy.

You just groaned at this scene, knowing well it will not end well for those who chose 'x'.

■■■

"... Shit..." you cursed out as you pressed 'x' with the voting barely reaching the 'o', making the games continue once again.

Of course, those who chose 'o' cheered in joy, including Nam-gyu. Meanwhile, Thanos slightly frowned, you still chose to choose to leave the game already. Knowing his gaze as well as Nam-gyu's, you decide to instead join those who also chose 'x'.

Meanwhile, on Thanos' side, Nam-gyu cursed at you as they watched you enter the bunks of the 'x's.

"... That bitch," Nam-gyu said, somehow earning a back slap from Thanos, "Oi, don't talk to them like that..." Thanos replied to him, yet still slightly upset how you didn't choose the same as them. Nam-gyu gave another look of confusion towards Thanos, he thinks he was acting a lot stranger than before, even if the excuse or reason was the drugs, it was still a little too out of character of him to act this way towards another player.

As you all do your things, the announcer sounds in to say night's out in half an hour, cue players to go, or find a relatively good bed in the bunks to sleep in.

You found a relatively good one in the middle, not too close to the middle but not too close to the walls as well as it was right next to one of the staircases in the bunks.

Soon, the lights started to dim, with players starting to cosy up under the covers of their bunks. You, as well, cosy up under the covers and sleep, escaping the world for a little while.

■■■

Later on, you stirred for a moment as you hear footsteps towards you. You were close to the stairs, so that's that, but you couldn't help but feel like the person was coming towards you.

And then, you heard someone call your nickname, "Oi, baby, you awake?" You recognised the voice as Thanos. You groaned at him in return, "I am now, thank you very much," You retorted as you turned away from him, "Leave me alone, I know you wanted something because I chose 'x'..." You added, noticing how he always screamed for 'o' in the votes.

He scoffed at that, if only you could see the smitten look on his face as he shook his head, "Not about that, but why did you leave our group, huh?" He asked, lightly shaking your shoulder, you groaned again and yanked his hand off.

"Really? An 'x' with four 'o's, you fucking high right now? And get back to you bunk, they might notice and eliminate your drugged ass," you retorted, slightly turning towards him before you noticed him moving towards the bed above yours and looking back at you, "There, better?" He asked, elbows propping him up as he placed his head on his palms. He was lucky with the darkness hiding the smitten look on him.

You scoffed at him before attempting to go back to sleep.

As you do so, Thanos kept looking at you. Sure, he may be getting questions from his friends the next day, but did he care? Something about you kept pulling him back to you, not like what he felt towards the dead 196. No, it was entirely different. Like the drugs he took, something he can't fully get away from, but unlike the drugs, it was something he would be unable to let go of.

■■■

The next day came by, and you awoke to see Thanos who actually slept on the bunk above yours. Damn, you thought to yourself, thinking whether this man has something towards you or he'd just like this towards new friends.

The time went by, and now you and the rest are being walked to the 3rd game with Thanos, of course, tailing behind you. Again, you were weirded out by this as his friends were somewhere else in the lines.

As you all entered the new place, a large area with 50 rooms surrounding it with a higher platform in the middle.

The 3rd game is about to begin.

■■■

"Going to leave us again, boss?" Nam-gyu called out to Thanos, approaching the purple-haired man. Two rounds in, Nam-gyu took notice of how Thanos' first instinct after each round was to find you as you always try and find other groups than theirs.

Thanos ignored Nam-gyu and continued to look for you. Then he did. He immediately bearhugged you and ruffled your hair.

He cheered your name, saying how glad he was that you're alive like him. You replied his actions by a pat of the back, continuing to be weirded out by the noticable difference in dynamics between how he acts around you and his friends.

Soon, the carousel started to slowly spin again, along with the same music to sang out.

"3!" The announcer said. The player then started to find players to complete the said amount. You immediately got into one and ran towards one of the rooms, not noticing Thanos calling for you. With that, Thanos kicked one of his friends out before screaming towards one of the rooms.

The half a minute timer came to an end, followed by rounds of shots and screams of those who didn't manage to get into a room.

■■■

"Fucking hell..." You cursed out, after another round, the players remained decreased as the 6th round of the game commenced, the platform below spinned slowly.

You were already exhausted from all the adrenaline and running from the previous rounds and games. You hoped this was the final round.

Meanwhile, Thanos kept a close eye on you, blatantly ignoring Nam-gyu once more, not wanting to hear another avertion coming from his friend. Of course, he noticed your exhaustion, and deep down is concerned. Even under all those drugs, he had a concern for you.

"2!" The announcer said, earning you mentally cursing at it. 50 rooms and over 100 players. If you won't die due to not being able to find a partner, then you might as well be eliminated for the inability to secure a room.

About to give out, you felt someone tug on you by the wrist and pull you out of the platform, followed by Nam-gyu's voice screaming out for Thanos. You looked to see the man, Thanos, holding your wrist as you both ran towards the rooms.

"The fuck- Hey!" You called out, but it was unheard as other players ran to get into their own rooms.

"What the fuck-!?" You cursed out, trying to free your wrist as you both entered one of the rooms. He finally lets go of you, "The hell is really wrong with you?!" You cursed out, "You've acting weird this entire time. The hell are you on 'cause that's not drugs," you added, extremely confused and weirded out by his actions. He remained silent. Only the sounds of players outside could be heard.

He mustered something but you couldn't quite hear it, "What was that?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I said what-" "Because I love you for fuck's sake!" Thanos let out, grabbing your shoulders and shaking, "God, every since! Just... Something in you are different, and it makes me insane!" He said.

Like the drugs he took, something he can't fully get away from, but unlike the drugs, it was something he would be unable to let go of.

You stared at him in slight shock, "What...?" You asked, wondering if you heard that right.

"Dammit, I fucking love you, alright? You're fucking intoxicating," he replied, lowering his head as if ashamed of the words that spilled his mouth.

Finally understanding his words, you tapped his cheek, making him look back at you before giving a small smile at him.

Forgetting the world around us, the door unlocked as the game finished. Slightly relieved at this, you looked back at Thanos before giving him a peck on the lips, ignoring the slight tang of iron from the blood that splattered on his face from previous games.

You exited the room after that, leaving the jaw-dropped man in the room as you attempted to blend back in the remaining players.

■■■

As your entered the dormitory once again, you felt someone tackle you once more, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he pulled you close.

"You shouldn't have left me like that, baby!" He whined, pulling you towards his original place in the bunks on the other side. You slightly felt a bit out of place considering your patch and the players surrounding you, but Thanos soon pushed those feelings away as he proudly exclaimed you at his friends, earning glances at Nam-gyu that speaks "So that's why he was acting like that," before nodding.

Soon, another voting would commence, but now getting close to Thanos, you wondered if you could continue this without him dying because of another game.

Now you have another reason to leave the games entirely.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

》 Archiver's Notes: As the winner of the voting log with no more than 2% more than another option, a continuation entry is done for the chaotic purple-haired man, Thanos.

[kinkyniragi]

The Amendment

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader Genre: Smut 18+ Word count: 2,5k Summary: You are Mr  Shelby’s new maid, and you made the mistake of spying on him in an intimate moment. Caught in the act, you’re now compelled to sign a special amendment—one that grants him far more power over you than you ever intended to yield…and you are doomed to violate his rules far sooner than either of you imagines. CN: Domination/power imbalance…ok, heavy ownership vibes and kinda 24/7 BDSM relationship stuff, spanking. Please note that this is all just fantasy. Things that happen in my stories should always be consensual. Take care. Author’s note: You voted for this one, so here we go, have fun! Feel free to leave comments and share my story if you enjoy it—I truly appreciate every bit of motivation to keep writing. Even though I'm not a native speaker, I'll do my best 😉

***

Can be read alone or as a sequel to “Through the keyhole”

Masterlist

Your name is written in black ink. Precise, unmistakable, on the envelope placed neatly at the center of your writing desk. The handwriting is familiar. Unrushed. Almost elegant.

You close the door behind you, still in your uniform, hands damp from the kitchen sink.

***

You’ve only recently begun working at Arrow House, a quiet appointment as housemaid to the estate’s elusive owner, Mr. Shelby. The position seemed simple at first: routine tasks, clear boundaries, unspoken rules.

But one evening, you lingered outside his office door. And watched. Through the keyhole. From your hidden vantage you witnessed him yield to a private pleasure meant for no eyes but his own.

He caught you.

He didn’t raise his voice. Instead, he invited you inside (at least that’s how he would have described what he did). Told you to undo the buttons of your uniform. Told you to match his rhythm.

It wasn’t punishment. Not exactly.

It was a demonstration — and a warning.

Since then, he has made it clear: there will be a formal adjustment to your contract. One that reflects your new responsibilities. One you will not refuse.

***

So, you stand there, hands trembling, when you start to read.

“Amendment to Employment Contract – Private Addendum for Domestic Staff.”

You haven’t yet unfolded the paper when the door opens again — silently, but not unannounced. You feel the shift in air before you see him.

“Sit down,” says Mr. Shelby.

You obey before your thoughts catch up. He crosses the room without hurry, closes the door with a soft click, and remains standing as you lower yourself into the chair. His warm hands come to rest on your shoulders. The weight of them settles like molten lead, grounding and inescapable.

His voice is even. “I would like you to read it aloud.”

You glance at him, unsure. “All of it?”

He agrees. “Clause by clause. And you will tell me whether you understand. Whether you agree. Whether clarification is required.”

Your fingers tighten slightly around the page.

You begin.

“Clause I – Demonstrative Conduct

The employee shall make herself available, at the employer’s sole discretion, for purposes of demonstration, instruction, and corrective display...”

Your voice catches slightly on corrective display, but you keep reading.

“...public or semi-public scenarios wherein the employee shall serve as a living example of obedience, humility, and moral instruction. Any such engagement shall be undertaken without resistance, and with full acknowledgment of her subordinate station within the domestic hierarchy.”

You lower the paper. Your hands are suddenly very still.

He waits. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.” The word feels small.

“Do you agree?”

You hesitate, your gaze drawn to the phrasing again. Living example. Subordinate station.

“I… believe I do,” you say. “It’s more symbolic than literal, perhaps?”

He smiles slightly — not kindly. “That’s not a clarification. That’s avoidance. Try again.”

You swallow. “Then…yes. I agree.”

“Good,” he says. “Continue.”

“Clause II – Extended Availability

The employee agrees to remain available beyond standard working hours — specifically during late evenings and weekends...”

You keep your voice steady. “…attending to the private and discretionary needs of the employer… duties may extend beyond ordinary household tasks… to be carried out in a spirit of loyalty, discretion, and unquestioned compliance…”

You pause. “It doesn’t say what those discretionary needs are.”

“I know,” he says. “That’s deliberate.”

“Then how—”

“You agree to serve. The nature of that service may shift. Your commitment does not.”

You nod slowly. “Yes. Understood.”

“And?” He touches your chin to turn your head up to him.

You meet his gaze, heartbeat audible in your throat. “I agree.”

“Clause III – Observation Compliance…”

You already know what’s coming. Your hands feel cold against the page.

“In compensation for her initial act of unauthorized observation, the employee forfeits her right to privacy. She consents to being observed by her employer at any time and in any state of undress or engagement, including but not limited to private quarters, bathing facilities, and during moments of personal solitude, without prior notice or justification.”

There’s a long silence after you finish the clause. You feel exposed already, just from reading it aloud.

Mr. Shelby doesn’t speak immediately. He lets the quiet settle like weight on your shoulders.

“You remember what you saw,” he says finally.

You nod hesitantly.

He moves a little closer, palms still rested on your shoulders.

“You chose to watch. And when I invited you in — you followed through.”

Invited.

You feel heat rise in your face. You remember too clearly what he asked of you.

Without giving you a choice.

“I didn’t force you,” he adds. “You crossed that line on your own.”

Your mouth is dry. “I thought—”

“You didn’t think,” he interrupts. “You indulged. And now you’re here because we both know it won’t stop unless it’s given shape. Contained.”

You try to hold his gaze. “I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“But you were thinking about it,” he replies. “Weren’t you?”

You say nothing.

He nods once, as if that’s enough. “Read the next clause.”

You look down and do as you were told.

“Clause IV – Behavioral Disclosure…”

You read it in one breath. The words are heavier than before. “The employee shall provide a written or verbal report upon request, detailing any private thought or fantasy of a sexual or emotionally compromising nature, particularly those involving her employer, his household, or her service therein.”

You glance up halfway through but find no reprieve in his face.

“...reenactment or embodiment of any disclosed fantasy... within the estate or a location of his choosing.”

You don’t speak immediately this time. He waits.

“That seems… intrusive.”

He taps a finger lightly against the clause.

“This part,” he says, “is not about punishment. It’s recognition. Your behavior makes it clear you entertain fantasies involving your employer. As such, I have a right to know about them. To prevent future… lapses in judgment.”

You close your eyes for a moment.

“Do you understand?”

“I do.”

“And agree?”

“…Yes.”

You lower your eyes to the next section.

Clause V – Controlled Autonomy The employee shall abstain from acts of physical gratification or stimulation unless expressly permitted by the employer. Any breach of this clause will result in corrective measures as defined solely by him.

You hesitate before reading it aloud.

When you’re done, the words seem to echo in the quiet room. You grip the paper a little tighter.

He watches you for a moment before speaking.

“You understand this one,” he says, not as a question.

You nod slowly.

“You’ve proven that your impulses require supervision.”

You take a deep breath. A protest forms — then dies.

“There’s nothing shameful about desire,” he continues. “Only about secrecy. And secrecy is no longer permitted.”

He steps around you, not touching, but close enough that you feel the brush of his presence. “You’ll bring that part of yourself under control. Or I will.”

You swallow hard and move to the next clause.

Clause VI – Confidentiality AssuranceAll provisions of this amendment are to be kept in strict confidence. Disclosure to any third party, accidental or intentional, will be treated as a breach of contract and may result in immediate dismissal, legal consequences, or alternative restitution at the employer’s discretion.

You read this one faster. It feels easier — at least on paper.

Still, you glance at him once you finish. “Alternative restitution?”

He smiles slightly. “You can imagine what that might entail.”

You press your lips together. You won’t ask. You’re not sure you want to know.

“Tell me,” he says quietly, “did you speak of…the recent event to anyone?”

“No,” you answer, quickly. Instinctively.

He nods again, as if you’ve passed a test. “Good. Keep it that way.”

So secrecy is forbidden—when the secrets are yours and he is the confessor. Yet you, in turn, must live a vow of silence beyond these walls, offering yourself up for him to devour. You realize you should never express this thought out loud. Any discussion would be pointless and potentially dangerous.

Your hands are trembling a little now. You move to the final section.

“Clause VII – Discretionary Compensation In recognition of the unique scope of this agreement and the demands therein, the employee shall receive compensation at a rate exceeding the standard for domestic staff in the employer’s service. This includes a monthly discretionary allowance, determined solely by the employer, in addition to full room, board, and suitable garments for all designated tasks — public and private. Said compensation is contingent upon continued discretion and full adherence to the outlined terms.

Your voice falters only slightly as you read it. When you’re finished, there’s a beat of silence.

“Does that seem fair to you?” he asks.

You nod.

He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes,” you say aloud. “It does.”

“Then sign it,” he says simply, producing a fountain pen and placing it beside the page. You stare at the spot where your name belongs.

And you know — the moment you sign, nothing about this role, or your place in this house, will ever be the same.

***

The next morning is almost normal.

You brew the coffee. Set the table. Fold the linens with practiced ease. But your hands move on instinct alone. You haven’t stopped thinking about the signature on that page. The way the ink felt much more dangerous than it should have. The way the clauses still weigh heavily on your shoulders.

It happens in the kitchen — a slip of your hand, a clink of porcelain, a splash of boiling tea that stains the white linen and scalds your wrist.

A lapse. Corrective display. You panick.

You mumble an apology to no one in particular, retreat from the kitchen, and duck into the hallway. Up the stairs. Down the narrow passage behind the guest wing. You lock yourself in the small bathroom tucked between the laundry chute and the old broom closet.

It’s silent here. Dim. Safe.

You place your palms on the cold porcelain basin and exhale. Your knuckles are white. You focus on the tile pattern beneath your shoes. Breathe in. Out.

A few minutes. That’s all.

Until you hear the voice.

Not raised. Not loud. Just there.

“Clause Three. Observation compliance. You're aware of the terms, eh?”

Your heart lurches against your ribs. You twist toward the door. “Sir, I needed a moment. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Silence.

The doorknob shifts slightly but doesn’t turn.

You add, softer, “Please.”

The pause stretches. You hope—naively—that it might end there.

Then: a metal click. Not loud. Not rushed.

A master key.

You step back just as the door opens. The dim overhead light flickers above you, and he steps into the threshold like the air itself yields to him.

You straighten reflexively. Your hands slide down to your skirt, smoothing it without thinking. You’re still standing in front of the sink, the water never turned on.

He closes the door behind him.

No words at first. Just the sound of the latch catching.

His eyes flick to your wrist — reddened slightly from the tea — then return to your face.

“You locked the door,” he says.

“I... I needed to calm down. It was five minutes.”

“That’s not the issue. You created an environment in which observation was deliberately obstructed.”

You open your mouth. Close it.

He steps closer, voice even.

“Lift your skirt,” he demands.

You stare at him in disbelief, feeling like a bad actress at the same time, because with everything that's happened so far, you could have - should have - known where this was going.

“Have I made myself unclear, darling?” he asks, his tone nothing but strict—more rhetorical than expecting an answer, since you both know he doesn’t.

Without responding to his question, you obey as commanded. You don’t dare to meet his gaze.

“You leave me no choice but to enforce my duties under the contract—and to ensure that you do not cross the boundaries set for you as me employee.”

That’s a pretty elegant way of saying he’s taking the right to punish you, you think.

He moves behind you.

You want to turn, to speak, but something keeps you still. He doesn’t touch you — not yet. Only waits.

“Do you understand?” he asks.

You nod, barely.

“Say it.”

“Yes, Sir. I understand.”

“Good. Then place your hands on the sink and bend over.”

You hesitate — not long — and obey. Your palms meet the cold porcelain again, this time not for comfort.

He pulls down your panties with clinical precision. You flinch when the air hits your thighs. He doesn’t pause. You hear him pulling his belt out of his pants.

The first strike is precise. Flat. It echoes against your skin with a sting that feels almost clean.

“One for the breach,” he hisses.

The second lands sharper. Lower.

“One for the concealment.”

You grip the edge of the basin. Your legs tremble, but you don’t move.

The third comes slower, firmer.

“One to remember.”

You gasp — not in pain, not entirely. Something in your chest cracks open just enough to let something else inside. Something you’re afraid of naming.

Then silence.

You’re aware of your breathing. Of how still he is behind you. The lingering heat across your skin.

He pulls up your panties and adjusts your skirt with deliberate care. Then his hands — warm, steady — rest briefly on your hips before he withdraws.

“You may stand.”

You do. Slowly. Your eyes sting, though you haven’t cried.

He moves past you, opens the small cabinet above the sink, and retrieves a glass. Fills it. Hands it to you.

You take it with both hands, fingers shaking slightly.

“You didn’t cry,” he says.

You sip. Say nothing.

“That’s self-control, you know,” he adds. “Which is admirable. And exactly how I expect my maid to be.”

You set the glass down carefully. Did he just praise you? For enduring the pain he caused you?

Then, unexpectedly, he steps closer again. Lifts a strand of your hair behind your ear, almost absently.

“Clause Four,” he murmurs. “Shall I ask what was going through your mind... just before I unlocked the door?”

You freeze.

His voice isn’t cruel. Not mocking. Just... curious.

You shake your head. “I don’t think I can say it.”

“Then write it,” he replies. “You know where to leave it.”

He’s already at the door when you manage to speak again. “What purpose does it serve exactly?”

He pauses. Looks at you over his shoulder.

“Unvoiced desire has a tendency to misbehave. That’s why.”

The door clicks shut.

You're still standing there — pulse too fast, knees too soft.

The air still tastes like him. Your thoughts no longer feel like yours.

***

<<<You liked that? Click here for more>>>

Taglist @jbrownta @mythicalcowboyatheart @shelbybabysblog @simpfortoomanymen @moonbeamott @gothic-chinadoll @weaponizedvirtue

[starkeymeow]

plot ── after you undergo a procedure to erase rafe from your memory, rafe, devastated by the realization, decides to do the same, only to find himself fighting to hold onto the love you shared, proving that some connections can never truly be forgotten.

content ── another flashback!! their first date but also a look into their subtle rich bf who loves to spoil n show her off x pretty gf who loves to get spoiled n get shown off LMFAOOO

authors note ── ik these r short but erm id rather faster updates w shorter chapters ngl, bc i take forever to update when i write too much (writing rly long chapters is my rly bad habit) but IF UD LIKE TO BE PART OF THE TAGLIST, feel free to lmk thru replies, dms, anons, or reblogs !!

main masterlist | ending vote | previous next

same parties, same people, same pull. it had been like that since the night at the gas station. somehow, you and rafe just kept ending up in the same places, running with the same crowd, brushing shoulders like it wasn’t a pattern. maybe it wasn’t at first, maybe it was just coincidence. but at some point, rafe started making sure it happened.

he’d show up, knowing you’d be there. knowing you’d already have a drink in your hand, knowing you’d be tucked into some circle of friends, laughing like you had no idea he was watching. and maybe you didn’t at first, but you caught on quick.

and then it became a game.

he was persistent, always had been, always would be. he had a way of making himself impossible to ignore, stepping into your space like he belonged there, sliding a drink into your free hand like it was a habit. “just take it, c’mon,” he’d say, cocky smirk in place, voice all smooth confidence. like you’d be doing him a favor by accepting it.

and you? you never made it easy.

you took the drinks, sure, because free alcohol was free alcohol, but that was about it. rafe would wait until you took a sip before leaning in, low and lazy, saying something like, “so when are you gonna let me take you out?” and every time, you’d just tilt your head, feigning consideration before smirking over the rim of your cup.

“i don’t do charity work.”

he always laughed when you said shit like that. full-bodied, head-tilted-back kind of laugh, because he knew you were just playing with him. and rafe didn’t mind a chase. in fact, he liked one.

so he kept showing up, kept offering drinks, kept asking. weeks passed, then months. different party, different night, same energy. he didn’t switch up his approach, didn’t try anything new, just kept making himself known, kept being there.

and maybe that’s what made you start to consider it. the fact that he wasn’t pushy about it, not really. he wanted you, yeah, but he wasn’t desperate.

he wasn’t in a rush. when you shot him down, he never sulked, never got pissed. just smirked, shrugged, took his rejection like it was temporary. “not yet, huh?” he’d say, sipping his own drink, like he already knew it was only a matter of time.

it wasn’t about playing hard to get. it was about making sure you actually wanted to be caught.

then one night, something shifted.

maybe it was the way you caught him looking at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. something softer, something unguarded, something that made your stomach twist in a way you didn’t like to acknowledge.

or maybe it was the way he just . . . stopped pushing. still made his rounds to you, still handed you drinks, still lingered in your space like he belonged there, but he didn’t ask, not this time. didn’t throw out the usual ‘let me take you out’ like it was muscle memory. he just leaned against the bar next to you, knocked his glass against yours, and muttered, “cheers, trouble.”

and you hated how that made your chest go tight.

so maybe that’s why, when he pulled out his keys to leave later that night, you reached out and plucked them right from his hand.

rafe blinked, watching as you twirled them around your finger, your expression unreadable. “oh, so now you’re stealing my shit?”

“just making sure you’re good to drive,” you mused, clicking the keys against your palm. your gaze flickered to his, then away. “besides. don’t you owe me a date or something?”

rafe went still for half a second, long enough for you to notice, but not long enough for you to comment on it. then he grinned, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you. “baby, you’re the one making it a big thing.”

the poker table was lined with cigarette smoke and men twice rafe’s age, the kind of guys who had real money to lose but played like they didn’t care. it was exclusive, invite-only, the kind of room that sat above the main floor of the club, separate from the noise, the sweat, the bodies moving to the bass downstairs.

rafe had walked them in like he owned the place, a hand on your waist, low, the type of touch that said mine even though you weren’t, not yet.

you weren’t supposed to be here. no, not just here, this close to him.

“you ever played before?” rafe asked, pulling out a chair for you, casual like this was some first-date type shit.

you sank into the seat, thigh brushing his as he took his own beside you. he smelled like money, like the ocean at night, like expensive cologne and bad ideas.

“poker?” you shrugged, watching the dealer flick cards across the table. “only once, and i won.”

rafe smirked, tossing in a chip without hesitation, without looking at his cards. “then let’s see if you’re lucky or if you just talk a big game.”

you felt eyes on you. not just from him, but from the other men at the table, some amused, some annoyed. rafe wasn’t subtle about you, hadn’t been all night. he poured your drinks for you, let you lean into him when you laughed, touched your wrist when he wanted your attention.

when the next round came, he slid half his stack in front of you.

you raised a brow, “what are you doing?”

“you’re playing,” he said, like it wasn’t a question. “with my money.”

you glanced at the chips, then back at him. “you trust me with that?”

rafe leaned in, his lips brushing your ear, voice so low only you could hear it. “princess, i’d give you my whole fucking wallet if you asked.”

your breath hitched, but you didn’t let it show. instead, you picked up the cards, glanced at them like you knew what you were looking at, and matched the bet across the table.

the next few hands blurred together, full of stolen looks and his arm slung over the back of your chair, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair. you didn’t win every round, but you played smart, and rafe watched you the entire time, his knee knocking against yours under the table.

and when you did win, raking in a fat pile of chips, he just grinned.

“see?” you smirked, holding up a chip between your fingers, turning it over between the tips. “lucky.”

rafe took it from you, slow, deliberate, his fingers brushing yours.

“nah,” he muttered, watching you like he had you all figured out. “i think you just like taking my money.”

you bit your lip, tilting your head, feigning innocence. “is that a problem?”

rafe laughed, shaking his head, leaning back in his chair. “not at all, baby,” he murmured, voice dripping with something darker, something dangerous. “not at all.”

@luvrclub @nemesyaaa @flvredcas @montanajgbn @f4dedtouch @psychocitylights @faephoria @annaconscience @congratsloserr @rafekisser @grandfartvoid @vampiriito @countryclubwhore @yktayy9669 @lilou0401 @gemininormouzz @k4yr14 @pinkamenap1e @nelo321 @the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not @dreamybabbyy @peachyparkerr @drewstarkeytruelove @wtfisastiles @adoreeyou

[cirqosmos]

yandere simulator; xo (only if you say yes). yjw

interactive roleplaying game: where instead of a yandere winning over your heart, you win theirs. by getting them to say 'yes', only then you will unlock the key to their heart where psychotic love resides.

currently playing. . . xo (only if you say yes)

warning: yandere, slight profanity, some grammar errors (i'm doing my best to study it >_<)

runtime: 3k.

director's cut, — jungwon boo u never fail to prove me that you're legit my muse in writing </3 this is just a fun fun interactive yandere game i randomly thought of, whatever you choose (majority of the votes) decides what happens to you with yandere jungwon :3

character visual: jw

"i'm sorry, but no. you're just not my type—"

you slammed yourself your face on your pillow, burying it so tight it sent you to heaven itself. however you'd rather die this way than pressing the 'continue' button to read the yandere's next words for his darling—which is you.

but you're not even his darling yet, much less being his close friend. maybe just a friend from school?

yeah, definitely.

well, as a twenty-nine years old office lady with her average monotonous schedule with the same routine over and over again for the past eight years, nearing her thirties yet never being able to find a qualified partner that fits her overly high standards—you're left with a game titled 'xo (only if you say yes) you've found somehow on the devil's hours; a game that was immensely difficult to pass, where you would do your best to win over a yandere's heart.

the game's description was too daring, almost too challenging, you are afraid to admit.

"wanna have your sweet affectionate yandere fawning all over you? no worries! however, as the old sayings goes; without efforts, you may never achieve anything—nothing is free in this world. therefore, why don't you sweat a little, get upset a little, cry a little, break a little—like your beloved yandere would once they fall for you? do your very best to get them to say yes to your love confession just once, and all of them—they will give to you.

blood, sweat, and tears; all of them shall be yours as long as you can make them say yes."

© 2024. all rights reserved xo, (only if you say yes)

and now you found yourself on the final level spending atleast, or disappointingly a huge sum of bucks on the game with currency of gems just to speed up the process, with your eyes bearing a newfound dark eyebags as an extra package of consequences.

you swore by your life and on god himself that you're only playing this for fun out of pure boredom and insomnia, however as you thumb through the game's introduction of yandere as it's dominant themes paired with a comprehensive summary of them; you questioned yourself with sheer shock as to why you've never find an ounce of existence about yanderes for the past eighteen years of your life despite being chronically online.

since yanderes are the exact definition of your overly high standards for men, ever since. no wonder you've never found a men like this before, turns out they only exists in fiction—you scoffed at yourself, filled with disbelief as you roll your eyes.

but! who cares if they don't exist in real life? they're now on the tips of your finger, waiting earnestly and eagerly for your love. a giggle so obnoxious escapes your lips, you feel like you are once a schoolgirl again, but without the experiences of one, actually.

but again who cares!

the game flashes a new pop-up, telling you the next step—choose your yandere character to play with. it shows you a list of seven yanderes illustrated on their respective cards, clad in coquettish-sort-of highschool uniforms; pink ties, beige vest over a dark blue shirt and pants paired with their set of flirty gestures as your thumb glided through each character—reading their descriptions; interests & dislikes, hobbies & talents, a little trivia about them, and of course—their strengths and weaknesses.

surprisingly, they had a range of informations so complete it felt like they were real humans. the developers did quite a spectacular job on it, don't they? and even the fact of how their weaknesses remains the same although with differences in how they would act on it or how far they would go; obsession, possession, and damn psychotic—willing to kill for you.

how romantic. . . in a psychotic way, of course. you hummed unconsciously, letting out a sigh after at the disappointing fact of how you still find it strangely attractive in your late twenties.

are you really that of a single pringle? pfft!

as you giddily spend your time trying to choose one of all characters. they're just all too good, looking too good for your heart to take. but one particular character catches your eye, intrigues you even with those pair of eyes—goosebumps ran down your spine as you could feel him gazing back at you.

like at you, literally.

or was it just the game's tactic to make the players like you fall deeper? hm, probably! it definitely was, unless a random ghost must've possessed your phone but that can't be right?

right?! you yelled the same word out loud, snapping your head around your room—looking for any potential jumpscares, but to your relief—thank god. now you can play your little new obsession in peace!

snapping your head back at your phone, eyes lit up in immense stars as you've made up your mind, heart thumping loudly as you scanned his unique features—tapping the "play with me?" soft pink button below the name 'yang jungwon' aka the mischievous leader kitty of the group.

in yandere academy, this group is called enhypen—and they have a bunch of fangirls, and it's not even a 'bunch', the size of their fandom is almost half of the female population in the academy and even outside of its territories—there is this ridiculously long line of female students from other academies. a feat that cannot be totally underestimated, and it's not even surprising as they are packed with dazzling visuals, and a set of numerous talents of their own.

they catch hearts everywhere, left and right, back and forth with their grand entrance to the school. each of them has their own separate fandoms too, and yang jungwon's taekwondo club practices are always filled with hearty eyes paired nerve-wracking screams that his coach spends half an hour yeeting them out.

"huh?" you let that out a tad bit too loud, almost exaggerated even. the game surely didn't turn out the way you thought, as you had the initial assumption that the yandere you chose already fell for you, and that you just had to spend those lovey-dovey levels roleplaying with them with a one or a few more predetermined routes to choose from.

the rules was pretty simple; try to get his heart—make him fall for you in the set duration of thirty days. in other words, there are ninety-nine percent possibility that he might reject your confession out of pure lack of interest. get that three row of bars; friendship, love, and yandereness as high as you can because if you were unable to do so then there will be no second chances of playing the yandere of your choice without paying an excessive sum of bucks, so you just had to do it once and make sure to do it right.

quite a challenging mission, huh? no it really is challenging but you were determined as your nostrils flared out a puff of air, straightening your posture as

the adorable motion logo of the game plays out, loading in a bunch of texts meant to help you along the way;

'yandere has each of their own unique love languages, pay attention!'

'little misfortunes are often a blessing in disguise, sometimes redirecting you away from what we call a 'disaster.'

'completing side tasks will increase your yandere's love bar by two percent!'

it soon pops up a bunch of pinky hearts and sparkling stars after all those introductions and guides before switching to a scene of him, jungwon—standing before you, and as expected, you were instructed to approach him.

the location in his taekwondo club, all while sandwiched in between his die-hard fangirls with those screams that you had to turn down your volume to zero. talk about in starting a cool first impression—well never mind, two choices popped up on your screen.

choice one: wait for him after his taekwondo practices (20% of working out)

choice two: act like a damsel in distress (5% of working out)

"uh," your thumb hovered over the two choices, is this a trap? act like a damsel in distress—what in the actual fuck? who would even do that in 2024?! you begrudgingly tapped on the first choice, and the scene switches to a pop up message:

try again, jungwon left a couple minutes earlier for a dinner with jay!

[ retry? ] [ exit? ]

your eyebrow twitches, what the fuck? just like that . . .? there's even barely a progress and you just have to fucking retry?

and jokes on you as your jaw dropped on the floor with the new set of choices presented before you, four choices—actually.

"what is this?!" you yelled so loud you immediately covered your mouth, peeking outside the window.

day three.

the love bar ain't going the fuck up, it's still there glaring at your face with it's zero percent. well that's fine, atleast the friendship bar goes up a tad bit—by five percent. a progress is still a progress!

but the game is just so greedy! you can't skip a day? sure then! but you only had three gems a day, one is to play the major mission, second to power up your aesthetics, skills, and status. third, to complete your side tasks such as running errands for your home or completing school assignments!

that even takes a whole day to refill back up, and it's not even enough with these thirty days you got and with this slow ass rate of getting jungwon to fall for you! you threw your phone on the bed, huffing like a madman—contemplating whether to spend a few bucks on it or just drop the game altogether. surely, you can't be that too attached with a yandere character, right?

right?!

jokes on you, your fingers find itself on the payment method against your will. ultimately cashing out a few bucks from your bank account with a single tear trailing down from your eye, all of this would be complete waste of money and effort if you fail to reign over his heart.

you let out an almost animalistic growl—filled with downright spite, actually. is this game even for real?! the choices they gave you are almost like deliberately setting you up for failure, definitely is! you were almost sure that is—to the point of contacting the developers themselves but you held yourself in sheer strength of self-control at last-minute, at the last digit of contacting them.

"it's okay, pampering myself isn't a sin." you pat yourself on the back, comforting yourself with a huge pout reaching the floor. it's okay! with a newfound determination, you're sure you'll make it!

day ten.

hopeless! utterly hopeless even the god of romance and cupid's themselves would laugh at you. you would, too. due to the fact that you went as far as googling on how to 'win over a man's heart" or "list of dialogues and actions that makes a man gain interest in you".

one of them even says food, that it is the way to a man's heart. but how the heck are you even going to feed a fictional game character? it would be easier if there was a food dialogue!

right, when is your character—or the game itself deciding to send a heart shaped box of chocolates? that would atleast give you a few percent to his love bar!

throwing yourself at your bed like a ragdoll, groaning and kicking your feet in the air. why do you even bother? for what? your search history is so hopelessly embarrassing, and even more embarrassing was when your co-worker had their eyes ogling at it. your mistake for letting your phone screen lit up for everyone to see, thank god she was the only one. patting you on the back that it was okay, and that she too had her fair share of struggles on fictional men.

truly a fellow comrade, you almost shed a tear.

day seventeen.

is this damn game trying to get on your nerves?

deciding to show a new bunch of rules that they didn't bother to show at the first day—set of rules you mustn't do while proceeding with the act of winning a yandere's heart, that is—you were not to skip a single day of playing—in other words, not spending a time with your yandere as in the game's words itself; they will be lonely and might end up throwing tantrums—loathing you for doing so, ignoring you for a short period or even longer depending on how long you were gone, thus risking the amount of effort you've spent so far down the drain.

and you actually skipped not one but two days because of your hectic work piling up after a fellow coworker's taking a sick leave for a week. . . and that was also after finally getting his love bar up to two percent and friendship bar reaching whopping sixteen percent.

yeah, it's sadly a 'whopping' one for you.

and now it's back at zero, with his friendship bar down to crashing down to nine digit and just as exactly the rules stated; every choice, dialogues, and routes you picked ended up him ignoring you with that furrowed eyebrows and slight pout on his lips, or responding to you in a flat out cold tone.

he's not even in love with you, so what are you even throwing a tantrum for?! you screamed that question at the animated game character on your phone's screen.

day twenty-four.

nah, this won't do. it definitely won't so why are you still trying? you bit your lower lip as you look for cheats, hacks, and tutorials online, praying to atleast find some miracle that could miraculously rocket you to ninety percent of love bar atleast!

since all you have left is six days.

you've spent an embarrassing amount of hours and days on this shit, even more dedicated and focused than you do back in your days as a student. you were so sure by this point that you could actually become a relationship therapist with all these accumulated knowledge!

day thirty.

eyebrows and lips twitching, it is.

level thirty, it is—ending on quite a horrible note, or actually, a total doomsday glaring back at you with all your nonexistent experience combined into a recipe with the title "never been in a relationship before".

a helpless laughter escapes your throat, of course—how can you catch a yandere's heart? much less make him your lover? you've never even caught a human's interest over the past twenty years of your life!

how cruel, how utterly cruel! god truly has it's ways of playing jokes. tears, laughter, giggles, sweat, money and effort—all gone down the drain.

all because of that one sentence ending it all, each word literally jumping out from his animated lips in a bold ass pink letters,

"i'm sorry but i can't accept it. i only see you as a friend, (name). i hope you could understand. . i'm sorry, but no—you're just not my type."

huh?! seriously?! a compelling urge, or a really tremendous one so colossal you can break your table into two parts—all that set of routes you've chosen so far with a careful decision and thoughts just for him to say this? just for the love bar to be at total ten percent?

jungwon, how could you? only ten percent? there's no hint of romantic affections found in his eyes or gestures, his friendship bar only by forty percent (a low score of only being his 'school' friend), heck you didn't even trigger his yandereness. like look at him! his yandere bar is at zero looming percent!

a trace of the pink love bar and red yandere bar nowhere to be seen, this is a pure scam! a love scam in the form of a game! meant to target single old ladies like you, fucking hell!

out of pure rage and disappointment, you slammed your phone on the bed—burying your face on your pillows as you let out a long drawn out, muffled scream. downright mad at yourself for even being so triggered by this whole shit, and at the fact of you acting like teenage girl imbued with hormonal changes,

"can't even get a fictional men to fall for me, i'm totally screwed for life!—"

you're so going to uninstall that shitty game, there's no point in playing anyways when you can't have the same character of your choice.

a notification 'tings' up, interrupting your bursts of tantrums—you look over at your phone with the game still up, a big pink heart-shaped bubble pops up on the screen—slowly draining into a pathetic colour of white, ultimately shredding it apart into a broken heart, mocking at your misery.

however the next message pulls outs a gasp from your throat, appearing in its usual glossy pink heart but a little redder at the bottom.

💌 2:09AM

hey there, our precious darling!

we totally get how you feel, there's no need to fret anymore! here we present to you an exclusive package where you will be given a final chance to retry for jungwon! this is a one in a lifetime chance for you—our dear player!

tempting almost, yet you're definitely not falling for that anymore.

and it's all free, let yourself fall deeper and deeper into this world of obsession. you can't really give up that quickly, right?

yanderes never knows when to give up, anyways ♡

free? there's nothing free in this world, even the game itself stated the same words. you've wasted your time, money, and effort on this dumb game and now it's giving a package that is exclusive only for you?

what dirty trick is this game trying to pull off once again?

© pieroulette on tumblr , 2024.

[genderqueerpositivity]

I absolutely cannot wait for this election cycle to be over because genuinely what the fuck. I keep drawing parallels to the 2016 election because there are just so many similarities, but what I haven't said much about yet are the ways in which things are worse.

Having the majority of people I know or randomly encounter be Trump supporting Republicans is absolutely wild now, because sometimes they will just drop the most unhinged comments you could possibly imagine into casual conversation as if they're simply commenting that the grass is green or the weather is nice today, and every time it gives me this bizarre sensation like I am somehow the one living in a different plane of reality.

The Democrats are intentionally bringing undocumented people into the country and giving them drivers licenses so they can vote in the upcoming November election, and unless Donald Trump wins and is allowed to carry out his mass deportation plan the United States will never again have a Republican Christian president.

Joe Biden has been using the US military to release chemicals into the atmosphere for the past four years which have the ability to affect the weather in order to trick the American public into believing that climate change is real.

The attack on Donald Trump at his rally was rally a plot enacted by The Deep State, a secret group of powerful liberals who are running the country behind the scenes, and they don't want Trump to win in November because he is too powerful for them to control.

Joe Biden was replaced by a secret identical body double when he allegedly had Covid several weeks ago, and the double is the one who really dropped out of the election, gives all of his speeches, and does all of his interviews now for him.

Those are just the ones I heard last week.

And the reactions I get when contradicting these wild takes range from rage to mocking to a bizarre persecution complex. In 2016 and even in 2020 I was able to have a lot of productive conversations with many people who disagreed with me greatly on major issues, and that is largely not happening this time. If I dare to disagree, they turn to anger, attack me personally, or cry immediately that I'm denying their right to free speech. When bringing up my actual lived experiences with certain issues, I've been dismissed immediately as emotional and brainwashed. There is no room for discourse or discussion anymore, it has broken down.

I know that we've been going out of our way to call them weird, but we're not really talking about fringe weirdo conspiracy theorists anymore, we're talking about your neighbors and my coworkers and your aunt and the guy behind me in line at Aldi. These people are everywhere, they're 100% serious about believing in this shit, and they're voting Republican in November come hell or high water, truth be goddamed.

You know, the lives of millions and millions of women, LGBTQ+ people, undocumented people, and other marginalized peoples are at stake in this election but it feels increasingly like reality is at stake too.

"Alternative facts" sounded outrageous seven years ago...now they've made it a way of life. Unless we can correct course, and rapidly, it isn't going to get better.

[ghrgrsfdesfrfg]

Part 3 is here and with it the final training of the Slayer, his meeting with samuell hayden and more !

You guys voted in a poll to have pictures, there's also one hyperlink for Hayden's appearance because i didn't know where to put it.

Not proofread, Word count: 4559

Huge credits to @baldieboi for many of the ideas present in this story and some paragraph are completely thanks to them.

Taglist : @baldieboi, @fantasticarcadefan , @fallen-angel2470 , @feral-childs-word, @bbmgirll, @hai-there-how-are-you

Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Gotham’s judge, jury and executioner, part 3.

The scientist and the exiled son :

After Siberia, China and Thailand it was time for your final destination : Switzerland. After some research on which European country to visit to train yourself in the usage of guns, you found out Switzerland had very little in the way of restrictions. Perfect for a vigilante in training but Fate had other ideas in mind.

You still needed to design your suit and choose your arsenal for your war against crime yet this was a problem you were ill-prepared for, you didn’t have the resources nor the installations for such an undertaking. You decided to put this problem on hold for now and start your training at a shooting range.

You made quick progress and was called a natural at using guns, much to the surprise and slight worry of the range owner. You tried a lot of different weapons but it seems you had an affinity for shotguns and assault rifle, it was a necessity and an advantage to use such weapons in Gotham’s open streets or closed alleyways.

You will remember this day forever, it was snowing lightly and it covered the city in a snow blanket. You were absentmindedly walking when you stumbled upon a newspaper talking about a renowned scientist making a conference this very day.

‘Doctor and world renowned genius Samuel Hayden is in town for a conference about the future of energy processing and consumption. Possibility of a new and improved energy harvesting structure in the talk.’

You kept reading the article and there was a strange feeling in your body, you had to go there. Curiosity, fate or mere chance, you couldn’t tell but this conference would forever change your life and you thanked your instincts for going there.

Once there you felt a bit odd, you obviously weren’t a scientist but more like a child sneaking into a party. Most people were better dressed and looked the part while you were in your everyday clothe with your coat still full of snow, it was almost funny when looking back on this moment.

A quick look around and you saw many known researcher present in the room, you jokingly wondered how many were here for the conference and how many were here for the free drinks. Pushing that thought aside you sat down next to an older researcher and waited for the conference to start.

You didn’t give much thought about Dr. Hayden's appearance but you weren’t ready for that, he was a robot. Easily standing over 2,30M he easily captivated the crowd from the moment he appeared, after a few greetings and mundane accolades he started speaking about the current energies present on earth such as renewable energies or fossil fuels and more importantly how fast humanity was using both of them.

He spoke about using geothermal power plants or even harvesting the heat produced by volcanoes using special infrastructures, he moved on to more impressive (and fantastical) projects like drilling to the Earth’s core to use it’s near limitless supplies of lava to create massive heat converters or creating solar panels arrays in space and use the constant light emitted by the Sun to always have a steady supply of energy.

You lost him when he was speaking of using solar rays as a possible power source, the man always had an idea ! When he spoke, two project of his peaked your interest : powered armor and teleportation technology.

“Power armor as is it jokingly called by some of my esteemed colleagues is a type of armor powered by an energy source allowing it’s user to carry more equipment, take more blows without fear or use weapons too heavy for a regular human.” he started as he showed some prototypes on the screen behind him.

The screen then showed a video of a laboratory where the armors were being tested and one soldier was carrying one machine gun in it’s hand, another carried blocks of concrete as if they were feathers.

“While the military applications are more than obvious it can be adapted for worker’s use, deep-sea welding is one of them, high-risk construction become a problem of the past if you cannot be harmed by anything. This armor could revolutionize many areas like explorations or rescue missions and-”

On and on he went about the near-limitless potential of his colleague's findings, he explained it with such confidence and assurance that you were sure the future he spoke about was going to happen soon. He stopped after 2 hours of speeches and question-answering. The crowd dispersed a bit and you left for a secluded spot near a window.

You thought about leaving since the conference seemed to have come to a halt without more speeches from anyone else. You didn’t expect Hayden to come seek you in particular, he stood over you, a rare sight since you were used to the opposite.

“Out of all the guests and visitor I didn’t expect a Wayne to be here, I hope this was to your liking.” He extended a hand to you and you shook it, although he didn’t miss the way your body stiffened at the mention of the Wayne name.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Mr Hayden but I am not here as a Wayne, only as a regular citizen. The Wayne name is not for me anymore.” you told him calmly, you didn’t want to appear rude or ungrateful after his warm welcome.

“My apologies, I did not realize but if you can excuse my curiosity, why are you here ? I was mostly expecting scientists but you are not one, you are special.” your eyes narrowed at word special and you were now on edge.

“I was curious about you and your conference, the newspaper talked about your findings and development in various field. But now is my turn for a question, how am I ‘special’ ? I hope it does not mean what I think it does.” You warned him, if he wanted to try anything because you were a Wayne, you were ready for a fight.

Hayden realized his mistake and his poor choice of word, he quickly reassured you “I mean no harm to you, that I promise. We should speak of this another time, maybe at my laboratory ? There are many things we could talk about, away from prying eyes.”

You could tell he was sincere, it was not ulterior motives but pure curiosity, he truly was a model scientist. You relaxed and decided to joke with him to lighten the mood. “How many of them are actually here for the drinks in your opinion ? I’ll bet on more than half”.

Despite being a robot with no human features you could tell he was smiling at this, “hmm my estimates follow yours although I’d say they were all here for the conference and slowly started switching for the drink.” He put his hand under his head, as if he was thinking hard about this.

“As I said earlier, we need to talk about this in another place, I would like to invite you to my house or laboratory, whichever is more convenient for you. I will be honest now, there is something unique about you and I am curious to find out why but more importantly I would like to know you if possible, do not think that I see you as a test subject.”

It was funny how he was panicking to make sure he didn’t call you a lab rat or anything, you pat his shoulder and smiled at him “I understand what you mean, do not be alarmed Mr Hayden, in two days at your laboratory then ?”

Hayden brightened at this, he was used to scientific interaction, it was refreshing to be treated normally. He offered to shake your hand “Call me Samuel, no need for the mister.”

This meeting would be the start of something great, something you wanted your whole life: a genuine connection with someone.

A scientist, a friend and a father :

Hayden was nothing short of welcoming and an interesting character, his laboratory was filled with various blueprints posted on the wall and numerous machines at every corner, shelves full of batteries of some kind and even miniatures of the structures he spoke about at the conference.

“Forgive the chaos in the room but sometime I work on multiple experiment at the same time and time to clean is sparse, however feel free to take a look and ask about anything that catch your eye, be mindful of the batteries however, they are unstable.” Hayden said as he showed his lab to you, it was the movie cliché of a laboratory.

The walls were white, so much so that the light were nearly blinding in the reflection. You approached a nearby table and looked at a device, “what is this ?” you asked him as he dimmed the light a little.

“A device made to absorb shock and re-distribute it evenly throughout it’s anchor point, be it a building or a vehicle. I believe it is possible for it to even keep the energy of the shock and spend it in one blow, a kinetic weapon if you will. It will revolutionize the way architect and engineers will fight earthquakes.”

You saw the potential of such a thing, no need for specialized infrastructures anymore, you were glad that he was focused on the betterment of Mankind. You were worried he only wanted to make weapons at first but you were sorely mistaken, everything inside was meant to help people one way or another.

A new power source, better and more secure ways of working or entire tools rebuilt from the ground up to ensure easy use. You saw a round pad at the end of the room and Hayden followed your gaze, “I see you noticed it, my magnum opus.” Hayden said proudly.

“It is a teleporter, a prototype at least but just imagine the possibilities, instant trading for example ! A country experiencing disasters ? The people can be moved directly to a safer place, food sent to the needy instantly ! Isn’t this exciting ?” Hayden explained, he pointed to various buttons and even gave you a demonstration.

You put a pencil on the pad and after a bright glow it was sent to a smaller pad a few meters away from it, “this is wonderful” you couldn’t believe it ! “Just… how is it possible ?” you were clearly shocked by such technology.

Hayden beamed, pleased that someone had such interest in his inventions. “Science, trials and errors as well as determination, I strive to push the boundaries of Science for the betterment of humanity.”

“As for your question, it deconstruct the target on a molecular level then ‘store’ them and send them to the chosen pad, for now I only tried it with object since the slightest error could result in unforeseen consequences for the user” Hayden explained, he showed you various fruit and vegetables that came out burned or split in half after a failed teleportation.

The two of you discussed about various experiment until you asked to begin the tests he mentioned at the conference, eager to discover things you didn’t know about yourself and your biology? According to Hayden, you were unique and it was time to discover why.

You sometime wondered about it, what was so special about you ? You tried to ask Bruce about it only to be ignored or given vague answer. You wanted to know since childhood and you finally have the opportunity to get long-awaited answers.

It started with physical exercises where you surpassed his expectations, he analyzed it all and started creating some hypothesis. At first they centered around gene-tailoring : multiple genes artificially implanted in an embryo to guide the specimen’s evolution.

He tested your body’s limit next, rigorous and downright impossible task were used such as lifting weight any humans would struggle with and carry them for as long as possible, he also tested your regeneration as such a trait could come in multiple versions.

You told him about the wound Ursa Major gave you on the chest and shoulder, how you felt the pain disappear very shortly after and he proposed some blood test to figure out what you were exactly.

“I am looking at something incredible Reader, something unique and safe to say, never-seen before genetic traits. For lack of a better word, you are part human, part alien. I cannot completely pinpoint your heritage but you are something closer to a being like Wonder-woman or Superman.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, Bruce himself had some suspicion but now you knew. You were different, alien. “what do you mean ? Am I a kryptonian or have an Amazon ancestor ?”.

Hayden looked at the results, then you and the results again. “I cannot say, I would qualify you as Homo-superior in this case. Most of your genes are human but your father or mother gave you unique genetic traits such as your endurance or regeneration. You probably cannot fly or hear for kilometers away like Superman but… You are a new category of hybrid, I have never seen this before.”

Homo-superior, a new hybrid. You had the answers you wanted but more question, who and what was your mother ? Did you unlock your full potential ? What are you capable of exactly ?

Power and family :

Over the next few months Hayden kept testing various formulas and regimes on you to try and figure out how your biology worked, what exactly you were and especially how to fully awake your powers.

While you were training with your guns in various exercises he approached you and told you a fantastic news: he built a machine calibrated specifically to your body and he was confident in it’s ability to help you.

As you both stood near the machine he placed a hand on your shoulder and told you “The choice is yours, it will work and unlock the rest of your abilities or you can also choose to not do it. When we met I expressed curiosity to know more about you but I refuse to force you into such a dilemma, this is your destiny and I will not rob you of that.”

You were touched by his words, when you first met him you thought he would use you as a lab rat and dispose of you when he knew what he wanted to get out of you but it was clear Samuel Hayden was an honorable and kind man.

“Samuel… I do not know what to say, you’ve already done so much for me and you keep on giving, how can I ever repay you ?” you didn’t know what else to say, what could you say to the man who gave so much of his time and resources to help someone he met at a conference ?

Hayden looked away for a second then turned back to you.

“I had a son once and you remind me of him, such a passion for everything he did. You once told me you wanted to bring justice to your city, to get rid of the problem at the root, it involves killing but I can tell you will not do it recklessly.”

“I know you will do everything in your power to protect those who cannot protect themselves, I know you will have to kill one soul to save another but you will do it without joy or pleasure and for that, I choose to help you. I choose to help the one willing to choose the difficult option so others can live a better life.”

When Hayden finished he placed a hand on your shoulder and you hugged him instantly, it felt natural now and almost… familiar.

“You understand me, you know of my choices and instead of telling me to change my path you debated it with me and showed me why it had to be done. I want to save these people and I will honor your work.”

“Hayden” you started with confidence “power the machine, I am going in.” Hayden nodded and gave you a serious look. “Whenever you are ready, reader.”

You sat down and in the machine and listened to Hayden’s instructions, “it is important of you to tell me what you feel during the entire operation, the slightest feeling can be important as this is an extremely experimental procedure meant to quickly evolve your body with small doses of radiation and electric shock. Am I understood ?”

“Yes, I am ready” you told him and with a final nod he powered up the machine, you felt like you were surrounded by light. Nothing really hurt inside, it’s as if you were numb or dreaming for a few second/minutes.

You told him what you felt and slowly the power increased until a surge of electricity surged through your body and you felt the sudden change.

You felt your body becoming stronger, something better.

Slowly the power lessened until it was completely gone and he released you from the machine.

“How do you feel ? Are you injured in any way ?” he checked you for anything but to his surprise you felt better than you ever did before, as if you could take on the world ! “I feel… incredible, Hayden thank you !” you jumped and hugged him with joy.

The machine did more than awaken your genes, it unshackled you. You learned things faster, felt stronger to the point you managed to push a car with your arms without much issue.

Hayden approached you and smiled internally. He gave you some blueprints and told you it was time to work on your armor and gadget, something you were excited to do.

“Let me tell you what I will need Hayden, an armor capable of movement while offering protection, guns strong enough to punch through armor easily and gadgets to adapt to the situation at hand.”

He took notes and gave you blueprints as you listed each tools in your future arsenal and had to account for your shield, the final list was narrowed down to : two melee weapons, two shotguns, two energy weapons and an assault rifle.

The gadgets were more difficult to narrow down but at the time he proposed a lot of different grenade like energy grenades or high-voltages grenades.

The first weapon to be upgraded was the double-shotgun you got in Siberia as a reward for killing Ursa Major, he added a hook to it much to your confusion but you soon realized the advantage it could bring since it could act as an improvised grapple or bring someone to you via it’s hook.

It can shoot most shotgun shell without issue but consume more ammo than your second shotgun however it excel at dealing extreme damage to a large group of target thank to it’s increased spread

Your other shotgun was created from scratch and is one handed like most of your other weapons, this was a necessary outcome since you were wielding a shield in your other hands, this shotgun also possess a bladed cross in case you ever needed to hit someone with it.

It’s a combat shotgun using normal rounds and sometime Dragon’s Breath round to set the target on fire. It possess a much stronger impact than most shotgun as it designed to quickly kill targets.

Next came your shield, it was gifted to you in Thailand and you were reluctant to upgrade it, fearing it would dishonor the previous owner but Hayden reassured you that whoever held it in the past would be honored to see it used instead of being forgotten on a shelf, hence it became the Chainsaw-shield or Chain-shield as Hayden jokingly called it.

It was upgraded to include a round chainsaw frame and a magnetic lock linked to your gauntlet, meaning you could send the shield away and call it back to you, it also gave you another lethal weapon to use in close quarter combat in case you ever needed to saw someone.

Next came the flail but no upgrade could be done to it, Hayden simply provided you with a holster on your belt to better hold it.

You were confused when Hayden wrote “energy weapons” on the list, he surprised you by opening two cases on a table and giving you two experimental weapons: the plasma rifle and the Accelerator.

The plasma rifle run on battery power placed in the middle of the weapon and has different upgrade, one were the shot are more powerful the longer the gun shoots and the other where the battery can be thrown as a grenade it overheats.

This weapon is useful against any type of enemy since the burns inflicted by the plasma cauterize the wound instantly which is useful to interrogate anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of it’s barrel.

The second energy weapon was the accelerator, an energy pistol similar to the plasma rifle with a high rate of fire and two upgrades, more accuracy and damage when reaching a certain threshold or another upgrade which released an electrical shock to close targets when the gun overloaded.

Despite it’s low accuracy it was good to inflict burning wounds on any enemies with it or shock multiple of them.

The final weapon to be created was a compact assault rifle using tungsten-tipped round, this gave it a massive firepower as well as armor-piercing capabilities, Hayden scaled it down as much as he could but it remain the only weapon in your arsenal that needs to be used with two hands and as such it’s only upgrade is a sight or a larger magazine.

You weren’t ready for the day he gave you the armor schematics, it took a long time to develop and it felt like the two of you grew closer when designing it, staying up late and coming up with ideas was something you both enjoyed. You got to see Hayden in his environment, designing and creating to his heart’s content.

That day, the dynamic would change between you two, he handed you the schematics of the armor and said he had to leave for a while.

You opened the file and skimmed through the various paper when you found a folder, you opened it and it was adoption paper. You had to read it a second and third time.

Samuel Hayden wanted to adopt you, he wanted you as his son and you couldn’t be happier. You wanted him as your father.

Hayden was very nervous when he left the room, would you accept ? Deny it and leave ? All of the possibilities scared him but when he came back you instantly hugged him and cried that you accepted ! You both cried that day, tears of joy and happiness.

“The armor schematics was just an excuse for you to see the paper but I wanted to make it special, here is your armor… my son.” it felt so natural by now, as if he wanted to call you that from the day he met you.

After that touching moment he led you to another room and opened a container with your armor inside.

“Every inch of this armor is covered in reinforced plates with at least 4 different layers of protective material such as Kevlar to ensure maximum protection against any threat be they ballistic or physical. The boots and gauntlet are both equipped with the Kinetic-Shock-Absorption device or KSA, it will allow you to accumulate energy from any impact or shock to then use it for devastating ground slam, creating a shock-wave with a punch or kick and even jump from high heights without harm”

“The layers of armor are all interconnected but not rigid, this allow for better mobility while still giving ample amount of protection, the red dot on the armor is the battery for the various system in the armor like the integrated exoskeleton in the legs to help you move this armor without difficulties”

“Your arms aren’t as covered as the rest of your armor since it would limit your movement, however your shield will help with this, it can be mag-locked to the back of your armor or the arm of your choice, I also took the liberty to add the pelt of Ursa Major to your armor since you insisted to carry it with you. The shoulders are also covered with spikes to prevent someone jumping on you.”

“The gauntlets are heavy but come with spiked finger acting as a brass knuckles, the KSA and the mag-lock to recall your shield.”

He explained all of the various equipment in the armor and gave you the belt and helmet as he pointed to various parts of the armor.

“This belt will carry all the necessary tools you will need on missions such as grenades, your flail and any other devices you wish to bring with you. The helmet will hide your identity and provide you with a scanner, radio and map of the city, I can also help you if needed via the camera feed directly from the helmet.”

You tried the armor and it just felt… right. Unlike what Bruce gave you when you were still a Robin this armor felt like home, it was an extension of your being.

“Thank you isn’t good enough to show you how much I love it Hayden, you have given me everything once again and I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful gift.” you told him with tears in your eyes.

Hayden hugged you tightly and looked you in the eyes, “then bear this armor with pride son, you earned it through hard work and determination, I made it but you will be it’s true master. So please, use it to protect your city, use it to protect those who cannot and honor it’s purpose.” Hayden said, his voice full of pride.

United in purpose, bound by family :

After training some more with your armor it was time to head back to Gotham with your father. He insisted on coming with you since he didn’t want to leave you alone in “such a dangerous city” he said with a voice dripping of sarcasm but he also came with you to work on future experiment there and possibly meet your bio-dad, Bruce Wayne.

The ride to the airport was charged with emotions, you were finally coming back to Gotham after 5 years but instead of the grief you experienced last time, you were coming back stronger than ever with your father, your true father.

When boarding the plane, he asked “How do you feel ? Ready to come back to Gotham ?”. You looked at him with determination and told him “Ready, more than ready and this time I don’t intend to loose anyone to crime. I will protect those I love and punish those deserving of it.”

The criminals and villains of Gotham will soon be reminded that they should fear justice, feel the wrath of someone willing to hunt them and bring them a swift and decisive justice.

[decayedsword]

ronin x reader dressed as veronica and jd on halloween? I love your work btw!

A Not-So Hollow Halloween

cw : mentions of blood, murder, gore, slightly suggestive content and (im not sure how to tag this...) but a reference that one scene from heathers where veronica's with kurt and ram in the woods :)

enjoy 1.5k words. i poured my soul into this methinks

October 31st. It's finally that time of the year when people in your neighborhood can display skeletons outside their house like it's a normal occurrence. Halloween doesn't come quick, but once it does, everyone suddenly plays into the scary grotesqueness of the season, acting as if they wouldn't be scared shitless by the sight of Jeff the Killer if it were any other month.

Not you, though. You had plans tonight that did not involve blood splattered all over your clothes.

You tightened the blue blazer across your torso, smoothing out the creases in the fabric. For tonight, your name would be Veronica Sawyer, drowning in your self-proclaimed teenage angst that miserably and unfortunately had a body count.

Your hands ran through your hair, making sure to fluff and frizz it up slightly, giving you that 90's feel. There's nothing a bit of hairspray can't fix...

A notification sounded from your computer and your gaze stayed momentarily on your reflection before you stepped back to check the device.

Ah. The Slaughterhouse Losers. Your favourite serial killers.

announcements

Angelic: @everyone Who's up for a costume contest later today? c:

goreboy: fuck yeah

who better than to Win if not The Devil Himself?

Angelic: Please. Like I'd let you.

goreboy: don't try and Strike Me Down angel

general

hitmeuppp: am i the only one who thinks angel wasnt capitalised for a reason

LUCA_IS_SO_COOL: NO ❌ I 🧍🏼‍♂️ ALSO ✌️ THINK 🧠 THAT ⭕

hitmeuppp: SEE

luca gets me

K9: A costume contest? Do we have any... rules?

Angelic: I don't think so! Feel free to dress up as whatever you'd like <3

goreboy: or

we could do Matching Costumes

adds to the fun, doncha Think?

Eviscerator1990: I Like This Suggestion.

Ai_Hua444: 😊

felicite: I've always wanted to do a couple's costume!

hitmeuppp: luca that's your cue

luca

LUCA???

LUCA_IS_SO_COOL: SORRY IM BACK

was dming a certain someone

felicite: luca.

goreboy: alright Pack It Up lovebirds

anyway

votes are in, Angel

Angelic: Well, that settles it then, I suppose!

Matching costumes it is! Can't wait to see all of you cuties later 🤍

Your hands hover over your keyboard, however your hopes of sending a message are swiftly interrupted when yet another notification rings through your bedroom. It was from your phone, which was elbow-deep in clothing you had strewn around looking for a costume you could put together.

Last week, you and your friends has decided to go as characters from Heathers, specifically the main four of the show. Cute, you had thought at the time, but it wasn't so cute when you got a little too caught-up in your novel that by the time you realized it was Halloween, you had nothing to wear.

Thankfully, with a good wardrobe and god-level plot armor as a main character of a musical and a movie, you were able to throw something together in time.

With a bit of rummaging, you were able to find the source of all the ringing. Pulling out your phone and reading the onslaught of messages, your eyes widen and you rush to head out for the night.

The computer on your desk is left open and alone. You don't look back.

The evening air is cold and almost unforgiving, however when your friends are oh-so warm and huggy, it makes up for it.

There's a weird fondness between three Heathers and only one Veronica tonight, teetering the line between canon and costume, but you four love each other nonetheless. You remember it like it was yesterday, the day you watched the movie with them for the first time. If it hadn't become the group favourite then, it secured the title when you guys attended the live musical.

It's almost funny how your fiction mixed with your reality.

The scene is all-too similar from. You're all at a party, and your friends, whose kindess you will never deny, have gone their separate ways to find someone to flirt with.

Two guys have been talking your ear off for the past 30 minutes. You silently hope your lack of enthusiasm in your replies are enough to send them away, yet they manage to entertain each other even with your "yeahs" and "mhms".

"Sorry ladies. Mind if I take this one from ya?" A tall build looms behind you, the vocal fry in his tone familiar and uncanny all at once. This is the first time you've heard it beyond a screen. The hairs on the back of your neck stick up. Do you dare look back and stare into the abyss? His abyss?

The faux angel boys are no match for the devil of a man that towers over them. You watch them mutter some half-hearted excuse, eyes darting rapidly and refusing to meet his, as they scurry somewhere else. Like live prey hunted by their predator.

You turn around and there he is! Your very own Jason Dean, complete with his dyed red hair and black nail polish, crowned with the name of Ronin Beaufort.

You can hear your heartbeat in your head. How contradictive. You've always had the upper hand in your choices, but with the Devil's Butcher, who makes you read in between the lines for his true messages, you were always six steps behind.

The music drowns out your voice. You look kind of stupid, trying to start a conversation in a crowded area, and you don't fail to notice the smirk growing amidst Ronin's face. He lazily slings his arm over your shoulder and presses up his lips against your ear.

"You better speak up, darlin'. Can't hear ya confess with all this shazam." You instinctively tilt your head, baring your neck for him and his chuckle reverberates against your shoulder, making your cheeks flush red.

You turn to face him, cupping your hands around your mouth as he leans down to help you speak to him. You whisper back.

"Was it just me or did that feel like too much of a Veronica Sawyer moment?" There's an air of giggles between the two of you and there's the slightest hint of devilry reflected in you in Ronin's void black eyes.

There's an unspoken agreement between the two of you. You're not sure when your boyfriend managed to influence your thoughts, but there's something sinister and bloody blooming in the back of your minds, and you know he knows you so well.

"You still owe me. Remember that darlin'." He whispers, a breath against your lips, and you want to chase him. You can't. There's something you must do.

There's something you want to do.

It's a little too easy to convince the boys you were talking to earlier to follow you home. "Oh, he was boring. You guys are more fun to be around." you had said, fake smile strategically weaved across your face.

With every single step you took, two bags of meat behind you, a real, manic grin spread across the apples of your cheeks, reaching your eyes.

You lead them to an alleyway.

"I'm actually really into doing it... publicly." you start, twirling your hair between your fingers and looking up at the two.

You can feel a third pair of eyes burn into you. It's a struggle to hide how fucking amused you are by this sick joke of yours. You turn around, making sure no one can see the smile on your face.

This'll make a great story.

"On the count of three, got it?" You say, not for the boys before you, but for the goreboy you know is just right around the corner.

There's confusion in the air and their complaints muffle themselves in your ears as you count.

"One." The first angel boy steps closer towards you.

"Two." The second angel boy steps farther away from you.

A clang rattles through the junction. There's a loud scream, but it doesn't come from the dead body now on the ground.

"Three!" A different voice echoes. Mirthful. Sinful.

One of the guys is stuck there, frozen on the spot, eyes wide and heavy and oh, you're laughing, insane and batshit and nothing like Veronica. You giggle at the irony. Ronin does too. He's a much better fit for JD, but the joke stays.

The two of you stray from the plot of the movie when Ronin backs the guy into a corner. He gives you his crowbar.

You go for the eyes.

killer_shit

user: i think we won this one!!

[photo]

It's a picture of you and Ronin in your room. Both of you are drenched in blood, and Ronin's holding up an eyeball, but it's romantic nonetheless. Especially considering with how his lips, at the very least, are pressed against your cheek.

You close your computer, giving it its much needed rest.

"Wanna bite?" He smirks, showing off his sharp canines as he holds the eye between the two of you.

You almost consider it. Almost. Instead, you opt to reach for his face instead, pulling the skin at the base of his eyebags down.

"I'd prefer yours, darling." There's a small mocking smile on your face when you say it, before you let go and press a kiss onto his eyelid.

Ronin's cackle manages to fit between your lips when he kisses you.

You wouldn't have him any other way.

here you guys go! not the hanahaki fic i promised but uhhhhhhhh yeah so heh

[thesirencult]

PAC READING : WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?

1---2

3---4

PILE 1

The Tower, The Fool

This is someone you would never expect to have feelings for you. You view them as distant, private an cold towards you and others. There is something magnetic to them and, at times, they let their cold façade go. Then, you get to experience a different side of them. They may have played with children in front of you or taken care of an elderly person, assisting them to cross the street. This person loves animals and has a soft spot for them. This reminds me of a strong, tall man who build a sanctuary for chihuahuas after his wife left him. Now he takes care of them and encourages other men to break the stereotype and adopt a smaller dog.

So, this person could also be tall and either lanky or lean-muscular. Others see them as intimidating and may try to avoid them in social situations (like coworkers not inviting them out for a drink after work).

I don't think they'll express themselves. They feel very ashamed of their feelings for you and believe that you see them as "not good enough". This has nothing to do with the way you treat them and has everything to do about their own perception of themselves.

They are very innocent at heart and get hurt when people exclude them. This tells me that you must have treated them like your "chihuahua". You are the one who encourages them and offers help or a few kind words. They love your kind and sweet nature but it's hard for them to show their true emotions. You will notice them get shy and anxious around you, like a little kid. Give them a chance by letting them get closer to you.

PILE 2

Judgement, The Magician, 5 Of Wands

This person is very fair and just. They will love every single inch of you and they won't shy away from telling you that. You see yourself as "not being good enough" and the person who has a crush on you will pick up on how you feel immediately. They will try to get you to see your beauty and will get sad when you talk bad about yourself. They just don't understand how someone as perfect and beautiful as you doesn't realise their own strength and beauty.

This person is a master manifestor. They just know how to alchemize energy and change their physical reality. They will see that you have this ability too and they will admire how you are trying to forge your own path. They have probably manifested you into their lives and they'll idolize you a lot.

If there is an age gap (5+), this person will try to hold back and act as a mentor towards you but, they are very competitive with others and possessive. Their feelings will shine through when they sense someone else trying to get with you. You'll notice their absurd behaviour, call them out and they will just kiss you.

"I'll show you why I'm acting this way." And then smooch 💋.

PILE 3

Queen Of Cups, 7 Of Pentacles, 5 Of Pentacles

Okey-dokey! My sweet Pile 3, if you are not into girls or feminines, I would advise you to choose another pile. Otherwise, if you choose to stay, this energy could resonate with your personal journey towards love and abundance.

I'm seeing a very sweet soul waiting for you. This energy is very light and free-flowing. You may not have met this person yet, because of divine timing. I'm getting that when you meet them it will be "love at first sight". You'll catch them doing something random, like picking up a dumbbell at the gym or petting a dog, or even voting (?).

This "exchange" from afar will drive you crazy cause you will know nothing about this person and you'll think you will never see them again. I see that fate has other plans for you.

This feminine is your future spouse and she is very into personal development at the moment. They will be preoccupied with finances and they are trying to clear up "abundance blocks".

At first, they will seem reserved and preoccupied with other things. You'll exchange a few looks and sparks will be flying, so this is a case of a reciprocated crush.

They are quite happy with being by themselves and working on their coins and foundations for their future. I bet you'll hear them talk about that and you'll think "Baby don't worry, I'm your future 💋."

Slowly you'll start talking and I hope you make the next step otherwise they'll never ever let you in.

But, after you get closer to them, you'll realize that they are a very deep and wise person and not just sunny all the time. Actually you'll think of them as darker and lunar. You will love their passion and mysterious disposition. Be their fearless protector and their rock to climb up to and watch the sunrise.

PILE 4

The Hierophant, 9 Of Cups, Queen Of Pentacles

Right now you are going through a "level up" phase. I don't even know why you are waisting your time here. Lol. You are quite independent, fierce and unstoppable. You are also trying to manifest someone like you.

The person who will soon come towards and confess their crush on you is not someone overly "hard". They are quite dreamy and soft. They like ice-cream and long walks. They will take you on romantic dates and worry that you don't like the scenery because you are not talking that much.

This person sees you as a boos b*tch. They admire you and have put you in a pedestal. I'm hearing "Let me service you Queen.". They like "ice-cream" ! Oh my! This person really wants you and they would jump through hoops to get to you.

They'll pass all your tests with flying colours and you will keep wondering how they are such a good match for you. Let them feel like you are in control and they'll submit to you.

[flipppyflopp]

“No sleeping in, not even on my birthday. There’s too much to get done to waste the day in bed.” 🎉✨

Happy birthday to my twst oc, Arlen Nox! I decided to do my spin on the new birthday card theme for Arlen even though they haven’t released a Diasomnia character yet, so Arlen might not match Silver and the others when they come out. Trey and Floyd were big inspirations for Arlen’s card from his to his pajamas. Specifically for his pajamas I wanted to incorporate Kingdom Hearts elements since Arlen’s main inspiration is Riku, so I tied in some dream eater references.

If you swipe you can see how Arlen spent part of his birthday as well as what presents he received from his friends. Below you can read Arlen’s birthday vignette written in a similar style to the new birthday vignettes, which guest stars the character voted as Arlen’s duo partner on Instagram…Silver! I hope you all enjoy and if you have any questions about Arlen, feel free to leave them in my inbox! ✨

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: Alright, I should be able to take these back to my room before track practice.

Arlen: Wait a second…who’s that lying on the ground up ahead? Are they hurt?

Arlen: Oh, it’s just Silver. I don’t have time to waste…but I hate to leave him in case he’s in a hurry to get somewhere too.

Arlen: Silver? Wake up, Silver. Now’s not the time to be napping. Silver! SILVER!

Silver: Huh? What? Oh, Arlen, it’s you.

Arlen: Yeah, sorry about yelling in your ear. You were sleeping pretty soundly.

Silver: Sorry for the trouble I caused. I appreciate you taking the time to wake me up.

Arlen: It’s fine. I was just on my way back from the post office and saw you laying there on the side of the path.

Silver: Post office? Not many students go there with all the technology available today.

Arlen: Unfortunately, I’m not the best with technology, so I go there quite frequently. Today, I was picking up a card my stepparents sent me.

Silver: A card? Were they congratulating you about your performance in the recent track meet?

Arlen: No, they sent me a birthday card.

Silver: Birthday? I’m terribly sorry if I missed it. Happy-

Arlen: Slow down, Silver, my birthday’s not until tomorrow.

Silver: Really? I apologize for getting ahead of myself.

Arlen: Quit apologizing, birthdays aren’t a big deal anyways. Just another day of the year.

Silver: Oh? Are you not a fan of big celebrations on your birthday?

Arlen: Not really? I don’t know, I just don’t understand the need to get so worked up about them. All you’re doing is getting older, what’s there to really celebrate?

Silver: Hmm. I suppose people just like to celebrate that you lived another year, uplifting your growth and the memories you made in that short span of time.

Arlen: Sounds about right, I guess. The best part’s getting to eat cake.

Silver: Really? I thought you weren’t a fan of sweets?

Arlen: Just ice cream, it’s way too sugary for my tastes. I enjoy cakes and pies just fine.

Silver: That explains Malleus’s initial reaction to you…

Arlen: Huh?

Silver: It’s nothing, just…hold on a moment, I just got a text from Sebek.

Silver: Oh no, I was asleep longer than I thought. I must be getting to the Equestrian Club. Farewell, Arlen!

Arlen: Bye, Silver.

Arlen: Guess I’d better hurry on myself. Chatting with Silver’s nice, but I can’t be late to practice or else I’ll have to run extra laps.

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: There’s nothing like a hot shower after practice.

Arlen: Speaking of practice, I need to write down my new personal best. Can’t believe I managed to shave off four seconds today. Maybe it’s some early birthday luck.

Arlen: The next track meet isn’t for another month, so I’ve got plenty of time to cut down more time off my personal best. I wish I could shave off some more time from our relay record, it could definitely use some improvement.

Arlen: Competing individually comes easier to me than competing as a group. When it’s just me, I only have to worry about myself. When I’m competing with others, I not only worry about myself, but I have to worry about the other guys as well. It’s a lot of trusting one another, which doesn’t come easily…especially in a school like Night Raven College.

Arlen: Luckily, Jack and Deuce handle their share of the relay just fine. Although, I wonder if by becoming closer it would shave off time for our relay….hmmm. Maybe I’ll treat them to dinner tomorrow after practice, they’d enjoy that.

*Bzzt*

Arlen: My phone? Who could that be? Oh, Soren wants to FaceTime. Sure for just a couple minutes.

Soren: ARLEN! What took you so long? It took you like three rings instead of two! What-

Arlen: Slow down, Soren. I just got back from showering after practice. I’m a bit sore today.

Soren: Oh, I see! Must be trying to beat my time from the track meet last week.

Arlen: Yeah right, you’re the one trying to catch up to me. Speaking of which, you’re going to have to work harder, I just shaved off four more seconds.

Soren: WAIT WHAT?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Kai won’t believe me when I tell him tomorrow.

Arlen: I could always send you a picture of my time as proof.

Soren: Ha ha, very funny. Laugh it up while you can, you’ll be eating my dust soon enough.

Arlen: As if.

Soren: Oh let me tell you what happened in class today! So I was sitting with Neige…

*Time Passes*

Soren: I couldn’t believe it when Chenya came out of alchemy lab with bright green hands.

Arlen: Well that’s what you get when you mix aloe and pixie dust.

*Knock*

Lilia: Arlen, it’s past lights out. Off to bed with you.

Arlen: My bad!

Arlen: Sorry, Soren, we’ll have to talk later.

Soren: That’s fine. But before you go, I’ve got one last thing to say to you.

Arlen: What?

Soren: Happy birthday, Arlen!

*Click*

Arlen: Huh? Is it really-

Arlen: We talked for that long!? So that’s why he kept flying through topics, just to get to midnight.

Arlen: Wait…

Arlen: Why was Lilia doing lights out checks so late!? What was he doing?!

Arlen: No use wasting time thinking about that. I’ve got to get to bed so I can get up early.

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: Time to start the day. It’s nice waking up early because the dorm bathroom is completely empty. Most people don’t get up at the crack of dawn like I do. Sometimes I run into Sebek or Malleus, which is quite the jump scare as Idia would say.

Arlen: Alright, quick shower then it’s time to head out.

Arlen: I don’t spend too much time on my appearance. Just combing my hair, brushing my teeth, the usual. No point spending extra time when it’ll just get messy from the wind later.

Arlen: Some guys go all out with makeup and hair products, but that’s just not my thing. Just some lotion will do just fine. Dry skin gets on my last nerve.

Arlen: Alright, next on my morning routine. Time to go get the feed from my room. I like being outside early, it’s a good way to clear my head. I feed the animals around the dorm while I’m at, might as well since I’m already out.

Arlen: I can see the birds waiting up in the rafters of the courtyard. They always wait up there, never getting close till I put the feed out…I hope they’ll grow to like me some day. Animals just don’t seem to like me, I get it though.

Arlen: Hmm?

Arlen: A little sparrow is hopping right in front of me? Want something to eat little guy?

Arlen: Huh? Another bird’s come down? A rabbit too? I haven’t even put down any food yet!?

???: Getting along with the animals, Arlen?

Arlen: Silver! That explains why the animals got closer than normal.

Silver: I’m sure they’re just finally coming around to you.

Arlen: As if.

Silver: You just gotta have more confidence in yourself. The animals can tell you’re nervous. Here.

Arlen: Huh? What are you doing with that bird? Silver, wait-

Silver: Just put your hand out like so and the bird will have a nice place to sit. Perfect.

Arlen: Silver, take it back before I hurt-

Silver: You’re fine, just breathe. See? It’s okay.

Arlen: …

Silver: Arlen? I’m sorry if I rushed you into-

Arlen: So what are you doing up so early? Doesn’t a sleepyhead like you snooze through the morning.

Silver: Usually, yes, but I had something important this morning.

Arlen: Really?

Silver: Arlen, happy birthday.

Arlen: Huh? Ha…ha ha ha!

Silver: What’s so funny?

Arlen: Something important? It’s just my birthday. You said that like it was the secret to saving the world from darkness or something.

Silver: It’s important to me. I wanted you to know your birthday mattered to me, so much so I wanted to be the first to say it.

Arlen: Really? That’s…really kind of you. Thank you, Silver.

Silver: You’re welcome, Arlen. I hope you don’t think that’s all I prepared, I also made some coffee cake in the kitchen for breakfast.

Arlen: Pulling out all the stops aren’t you.

Silver: Of course for a friend like you.