#F-CK OFF WITH THAT
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was I the only one that thought season 2 of green eggs and ham was a total let down oooorrrr
#like I’m sorry but that season infuriated me#gave me the trope I hate most#the male character being a punching bag and being seen as in the wrong with ANYTHING#F-CK OFF WITH THAT#pretending season 2 never existed is the only way to feel better about it#erasing that baby from existing even though he’s the cutest thing imaginable cause I sorry little dude you’re cuteness isn’t enough to save#you from bad writing#r.i.p guy jr#you have a stupid f-cking name too(/j)#I’m soooo disappointed in the butter battle sh-t cause that was my favorite short as a kid#how was it butchered soooo bad#r.i.p Michellee you deserved better as well#Sam’s mom SUCKS#I’m sorry I kinda felt bad for her but that was quickly squished near the end#f-ck that woman honestly#Sam feels really dumb to me in this season too idk how to explain it but he just feels…..dumber#the visuals aren’t that impressive in season 2 either at least not from what I remember#the spy stuff was too much if I’m honest it clouded what the 1 season was even about and what made it so good#green eggs and ham#geah#critical#rant#my stuffy stuff#text#kinda hateful
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As I was browsing my copy of the latest Daydream Hour for reference materials, I came across this illustration. Since I don't remember seeing it shared around, here!
(description in ALT)
#dungeon meshi#lycion#fleki#again#f*ck off if you spread any kind of ship hate btw#I thought I’d blocked enough people but I came across another person insulting others over ships in the tags#daydream hour#Fy posts
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#sundrop#moondrop#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy's security breach#smol beans#fnaf#fnaf animatronics#eclipse#memes#lgbtq#sun x moon#moon x sun#this ship is nice#i like it#i support it#if you don't like it dont hate#if you hate on it because of your opinion f!ck off#sundrop and moondrop#sundrop x moondrop
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♪ Can't resist, just wanna chew you up ♪
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#offgun#off jumpol#gun atthaphan#cooking crush#cooking crush the series#thai music#gmmtv#my gifs#bypiningbisexuals#BRO I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!#it's adorable & actually hilarious bc wanting to eat someone in thai also wanting to f*ck so I love this even more HAHAHAHA#had to choose only a few shots bc literally every single one of them is adorable - it was torture
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Wow ok wow um IM SORRY BUT I JUST FOUND AN ART POST THAT HAD LINH X TAM AND IM HORRIFIED AND GUESS WHO REBLOGGED IT ??? IM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW CUZ THERE ART IS REALLY COOL BUT LIKE F*CK PROSHITERS RIGHT???
#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc#anti proshitter#proshitters dni#EW EW EWEW EW#F*CK THAT MAN#WTF#IM JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE TF#kotlc discourse#PLEASE PLEASE BLOCK THEM 🙏🙏🙏
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I told you...the next time you awakened, you would be busy.
#*posts#bsdedit#hyeahbsd#Bungou Stray Dogs#BSD S5 spoilers#anisource#my crap#usergojoana#useradrienne#userdabiluna#userblaze#usermica#tusersky#userjenny#usermoonz#userartless#for those of you following me watching from the sidelines: it is exactly what you think it is.#'is it 1358 yet?' 'no' 'then F*CK OFF'
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Ninjago One-shot
An Adult? (not really)
Now also on Ao3
Lloyd Garmadon didn’t notice at first that he wasn’t really aging. He didn’t really think much about it at first. After all, he was already so much older when the Tomorrow's Tea aged him up. Except his voice hardly even deepened. Then, 8 years later, when Lloyd was chronologically 16 but supposed to be in his twenties physically, his voice finally deepened, as evident by the ninja’s teasing.
Zane predicted that perhaps Tomorrow's tea worked differently on him and that perhaps Lloyd’s age was now aligned. After all, Zane is a nindroid and isn’t supposed to age like humans, and yet he did.
Except Lloyd discovered that he wasn’t even fully human. He was a part oni-dragon hybrid. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Lloyd had bigger things to deal with than his weird aging. After all, he had a father villain to defeat.
5 more years passed. The Overlord, or should Lloyd say the Crystal King, is finally defeated. Garmadon isn’t quite as evil anymore and is actually staying around.
And now that they believe the Overlord is finally never returning, all the venom from the Great Devour that the Overlord orchestrated for Garmadon to have just left his system.
Now Garmadon is just an oni-brand of evil and has purple eyes. They remind Lloyd a lot of the human version of his father, his dad, but apparently that was a lie too because it’s just shapeshifting since the oni-version is his dad’s natural form. But everything is fine. He got his dad back. Really, he’s just a little rough around the edges, and his memories still aren’t fully back, but it’s a process. Everything is fine.
Anyways. What else? Oh, and all the Ninjas are alive and together.
It’s been a long journey. Cole just had his 30th birthday, and after all the pestering from his fans about dating, he decided to get married to a triple-layer chocolate cake so they would finally back off. Because. He’s. Not. Interested. Honestly, Lloyd can relate. He thought he liked Brad, and then Harumi and Akita when he was younger, but it was actually just wanting to be friends with them (though Harumi long since lost her chance even if she joined their side in the end), and it’s really making him uncomfortable with how many people are asking about his dating life.
Moving on…
Zane and Pixal are running a school open to all types of people and beings to learn about all manner of things.
Kai and Skylar finally got engaged! Lloyd teased his big brother endlessly for that. It took them long enough!
Nya and Jay got married and are happily exploring ninjago for their honeymoon!
Of course all the ninja stay in touch and make sure to meet up at the monastery at least monthly if not more in case another realm ending disaster pops up, but everyone is enjoying the peace while it lasts, but still staying in shape and being vigilant. Not wanting to be caught off guard again.
And well, Lloyd’s the same staying at the monastery for now and trying to avoid the limelight and all his crazy fans. Lloyd’s also trying really hard to reconnect with Garmadon, but part of himself still flinches whenever he gets too close. Remembering cold red eyes, saying he has no son, and slamming him into a wall. His body breaking and blood pooling around him. And everything is cold and dark. And Lloyd feels so alone and scared. He was dying.
Uncle Wu is also staying with Lloyd and Garmadon and really trying to be a good brother, but centuries, if not millennia, of strained relations, and polar personalities and ideals, make it hard for them to bond over, well, anything.
Though they did finally make a breakthrough recently. Lloyd just wishes he wasn’t at the center of it.
Flashback:
“Son,” Garmadon's deep gravelly voice says behind Lloyd, and Lloyd jumps; swearing, he almost hits his head on the ceiling by how far he jumped.
“Where is your mother?” Garmadon’s purple eyes have an unknown glint in them. The oni looks at Lloyd like his dad used to look at him when starting a serious conversation, and Lloyd swallows.
“Why do you want to know?” Lloyd says, his voice definitely not cracking. It’s been years. Why is his voice still cracking?!
“Well, I wanted her to sign these divorce papers so I could happily pursue a relationship with Vinny.” Garmadon says and pulls out divorce papers like it’s just a random Tuesday.
“What?!” Lloyd shrieks. And he expects Garmadon to say he’s joking. Divorce?! And who’s Vinny?!
Instead, Garmadon says in a worried tone, his voice sounding so close to the dad that Lloyd misses, “Now son. I’m sure it’s not easy to accept that your parents are getting divorced, especially since you are so young, but your mother and I are mature adults and need to get this done, so we can move on in our lives.”
Lloyd sputters, “I’m in my twenties! I’m not a kid.” It’s been 13 years since Lloyd’s been magically aged up to around 14. And even then, he was 8 before he magically aged up, so he would be in his twenties either way! Sure, he has an extreme baby face, but he is an adult! Even if he doesn't feel like it. And why does Garmadon suddenly care now? He can't try and parent him years too late and expect everything will be fine!
Thus, Lloyd yells at Garmadon before he can answer “Also, I have no idea where Misako is, and honestly I don’t give a damn! I hardly even know her! She left me when I was a baby! And she only came back into my life when I had to fight the Overlord for the first time. Then she just disappeared for years on end till she suddenly pops up with some cryptic message for a day and leaves again! So honestly good on you for getting a divorce! But don’t pretend that I care!” And Lloyd stomps out and slams the door to his room and screams into his pillow.
Eventually, Lloyd fell asleep, but it wasn’t long before a knock interrupted his rest, and he had to face reality again.
“What?” Lloyd answers, his voice muffled by his pillow.
“Lloyd,” Uncle Wu says softly, “Can Garmadon and I come in?”
‘Ugh, please no,’ Lloyd wants to say more than anything, but he relents, and sits up in his bed and tries to comb through his messy blond hair.
Lloyd finally sighs, “Come in.”
Uncle Wu and Garmadon enter Lloyds room, and they stand opposite him. Lloyd looks at them and waits for them to start speaking, but they just glance worriedly at Lloyd.
Lloyd rolls his eyes, “What do you guys want to talk about?”
Garmadon clears his throat, “Well after you… talked about Misako,” he says her name with venom, and Lloyd has to hide his flinch. Somehow, though, Garmadon seems to notice and breathes in deeply before continuing, “I went to talk to my brother, and neither of us knew about what you told me earlier. We just want to know where exactly you were raised and who raised you since Misako didn’t.”
Lloyd scowls, “Stop talking to me like I’m a child. I’m already in my twenties. I’m an adult for crying out loud! Also, why do you two suddenly care so much? It’s not like it’s hindering my ability to be the green ninja.”
Garmadon raises an eyebrow in disbelief and looks at his brother in worry.
“Lloyd,” Uncle Wu reaches over to Lloyd, but Lloyd pulls away, and Wu's golden eyes look so sad, “You are still a child, and you will be one for quite some time. And we care about you more than just being the green ninja. You are family, and we are worried about you.”
Lloyd shakes his head in disbelief. Just because Wu’s like a thousand years old doesn't mean that Lloyd deserves to be treated as a kid just because he’s so much younger.
“Besides you haven’t even lost your baby fangs or even molted your first dragon skin. You're still just a pup,” Garmadon gruffly replies.
“Hatchling.” Uncle Wu corrects.
Garmadon's purple eyes narrow at his brother, “Pup.”
Wu’s golden eyes narrow back, “Hatchling.”
“Pup.”
“Hatching.”
“Pup!”
“Hatching!”
“PUP!”
“HATCHLING!”
“ENOUGH!” Lloyd shouts over the two brothers, and they shut up in shock. “Is this seriously about my oni-dragon heritage?! What does that even matter? I’m still half human and obviously take more after my human half, and therefore, I age like a human. SO. I. AM. NOT. A. CHILD!”
“Oh son,” Garmadon’s voice breaks, and it truly sounds exactly like his dad’s, and it’s like the last piece finally clicks in Garmadon’s mind to fully remember. “I am so sorry I haven’t been able to teach you about your heritage and that I missed that your mother wasn’t in the picture since I was hardly there. I’ve truly failed you son.”
Garmadon goes closer to Lloyd and goes to embrace him in a hug, and Lloyd lets him, too shocked because Garmadon’s apologizing?! Is his dad finally back? Does he remember everything?
And then Garmadon’s sitting next to Lloyd on his bed and hugging him for dear life, and he starts sobbing, “I’m so so sorry, my son. I’ve hurt you, and I don’t know how I can ever make up for that.”
And Lloyd's shock fades away, and he embraces his dad back just as fiercely, “Dad. I-I’ve m-missed y-you. I’d t-thought you’d n-never truly be b-back!” And he sobs into his dad’s chest. Except Lloyd doesn’t just sob, but whines. Though Lloyd hardly notices as he's too busy focusing on the overwhelming emotions he’s feeling right now.
Garmadon, though, notices and instantly tightens his embrace on his son, and deep purrs start emitting from him to help his pup calm down. He puts his son’s head in the crook of his neck, and Garmadon instinctually broadens his shoulders as if to seem bigger and threatening to outsiders to protect his pup.
Wu smiles sadly at the scene, tears escaping his eyes, as he stares at his brother and nephew.
Eventually, their crying dies down, and Lloyd tries to pull away, but his dad holds onto him. Lloyd sighs but relents since he feels so warm and comfortable. Still, Lloyd looks down embarrassed. He’s not a child anymore. He can't be with all he's faced.
Garmadon lifts Lloyd’s chin up, and Lloyd glances at his dad’s comforting purple eyes, and Garmadon gently wipes some tears out of Lloyd’s face with his thumbs, the dark scales of his dad’s fingers surprisingly soft, and Garmadon hugs Lloyd gently.
Lloyd sinks into his dad’s embrace, feeling a deep rumble from his dad’s chest. It makes Lloyd’s eyes start to close as he feels warm and safe. But then Lloyd furrows his brows confused. What is that? It’s like…
Lloyd pushes away, shocked, “Dad are you purring?!”
“Of course, Lloyd, and you are too, you know. It’s just part of our oni heritage.” Garmadon says softly, as if speaking to a child.
And Lloyd, to his growing horror, does indeed feel himself purring, a soft purr emitting from within his chest following his dad’s. And Lloyd whines in distress. Did he really just whine. What is this happening to him right now?!
Garmadon pulls Lloyd closer, trying to calm his pup’s distress. But now that Lloyd is aware of the sounds, his distress is growing further, and he is starting to panic and wants his dad to let him go, but at the same time, he doesn’t. Lloyd is just so scared and confused.
Wu coughs loudly, getting his family’s attention. “Garmadon you need to let Lloyd go, he’s not used to his oni heritage right now, and it’s just further distressing him right now.”
Garmadon growls at his brother, his mind fogged up too much to think of anything else except protecting his pup.
Except Wu growls back just as hard and hisses in his dragonic tongue, “Let Lloyd go.”
Garmadon, shocked, loosens his grip just enough for Lloyd to get out of his grip and run to Uncle Wu.
Garmadon growls deeply as Wu holds Lloyd and growls in oni, “Let go of my son.”
“No, brother.” Wu states calmly in Ninjagon but prepares to defend himself.
Just before Garmadon can attack, Lloyd whispers, his voice breaking, “Don’t fight, please.”
Garmadon instantly snaps out of it and stops growling as his mind clears up. He whispers brokenly, “I’m sorry.”
Garmadon falls back on Lloyd's bed, looking down. He’s messed up again.
‘Why can’t I be a good dad for my son, just once?!’ Garmadon thinks. Agony felt in his heart once again for his inability to not mess up with Lloyd.
Lloyd breathes in and out and calms himself down in his uncle’s hold, and then he looks over to his dad and sees him with the saddest look on his face.
Lloyd gingerly gets out of his uncle’s hold and nods when Uncle Wu asks if he’s okay.
“Dad. I’m sorry I panicked. I just…” Lloyd gulps, “I thought I was human. Or well, mostly human. I didn’t want to accept that I wasn’t aging like one. And I think deep down I knew. FSM, I still look basically the same age as I did after I used the Tomorrow's Tea!”
“I just thought that I could finally be normal.” Lloyd’s voice breaks.
Garmadon looks at his son, so heartbroken. He doesn’t know how to help his son. He’s not normal, and he’ll never be.
And then Lloyd clears his throat, his bright green eyes shining, “But normal's overrated anyways, and I don’t have it in me to keep rejecting myself and you to believe that I’ll ever be normal. I finally have my dad back again, and I’ll hate myself if I don’t take this chance to learn more about you and about our heritage while I still have the chance.”
Lloyd laughs bitterly, “Because destiny will eventually decide to fuck with me again and I won’t have time, so I can’t just continue to ignore this. Because one day it might be too late to learn this from my d-dad.” Lloyd's voice breaks at the end.
“Oh, Lloyd, I’ll gladly tell you whatever you want to know,” Garmadon agrees and smiles sadly, praying to his father just this once that his son can find peace.
Lloyd smiles, tears in his eyes, and looks back to his uncle, “A-and I think Uncle Wu needs to be here to help explain some things too.”
Wu looks at his nephew in shock, he answers, “If that’s what you want nephew.”
“It is.” Lloyd nods his head.
“Alright, what do you want to know first?” Garmadon asks and pats the bed for both his son and brother to sit next to him. Lloyd gladly goes over, and his dad embraces him in a side hug, while Wu sits next to Lloyd and looks to Garmadon, wondering how he’s going to explain their heritage.
“Well as long as you make sure you include the dragons, brother. You always seem to forget them when discussing our heritage.” Wu says with a mischievous voice.
Garmadon rolls his eyes, “As long as you don’t forget the oni.”
Lloyd laughs brightly, the weight of the world seeming to lift from his shoulders, and his family joins him and starts laughing as well, and Misako is all but forgotten, for now, to the small family of the First Spinjitzu Master’s descendants.
Next Ninjago One-shot
#ninjago fanfiction#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago garmadon#ninjago wu#lord garmadon and lloyd garmadon#dragon lloyd#oni dragon hybrid lloyd#oni lloyd#lloyd garmadon#lord garmadon#sensei wu#the first spinjitzu master#decendants of the FSM#godly heritage#kid lloyd#lloyd garmadon needs a hug#aroace#aroace lloyd#aroace cole#bisexual garmadon#garmadon/vinny#good dad garmadon#immortal lloyd#destiny can f*ck off#lloyd angst#lloyd fluff#oni purring#bad mom misako
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recently every time i read an Aldis Hodge interview and he's geeking out like 'i got married!!!!! i have a kid!!!!! i'm going to be in [insert title of next coolest project here]!!!!!' my thought process is just 1. congratulations, ofc you're geeking out (as you should) and 2. do you need a third
#for legal reasons that last part was mostly a joke but truly. i'm so so happy for him and how far he's come in his career#the marriage thing is fairly recent i think but he's been talking about the kid since his Black Adam promo run and just. you can#see it on his face how happy he is and ugh. God knew if i had been of coherent age while the OG Leverage was airing i would have#been downright insufferable about his ass. as it is i'm still unsufferable sksksksk#this post brought to you by me going from watching a fluffy light-hearted fake parenting trope romcom to pass the time to#somehow getting my hands on Marmalade and uh. well. Marmalade is definitely Marmalading. spoiled myself in advance#by accident through one of those very interviews but i will push through anything for Aldis spoilers can f*ck off to hell#plus the bonus is that by pushing through i got to see him be sexy af on screen even if he was [redacted]. also i need a tape of him#just cursing through the entire film he was going through it towards the end fr fr
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God, you're dense [Affectionate].
{a Kn8 short story}
Hoshina wasn't one to play games. Sure, he liked to have fun, but playing with people's emotions and perceptions wasn't something he could get into. He raised himself on the belief that being straight forward on something was the best course of action. If someone couldn't get on the same page as him, that was on them. He worked in a position where the best moves forward and anyone else that can't keep up with him were best left behind. Of course, much like most rules in life, there were exceptions to the rule. His biggest fault to everything he stood for was a tall, jolly, brute of a beast named Kafka. Kafka would be an exception to most everything he would die on a hill for. On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, was one person that he held to the highest accordance of his standards. His brother.
Hoshina made a point not to talk to his brother after he got accepted into the defense force. The restrictions on that got tighter after he got accepted as Mina's Vice Captain. Since before, he still showed up to family gatherings at the least to entertain his mother's concerns about his livelihood in the Third Division. Still, just because he didn't make attempts to contact his family, doesn't mean his family doesn't make attempts to contact him. It was always inevitable (because they don't tell him ahead of time) always with the supposed best of intentions (Because what quality road to hell isn't paved with them) and always at the most inconvenient times (an ability that seemed to be an inbred skill in every other family member). Between catching up on chores that should have been done yesterday, decaf in the communal coffee machine, and his third favorite pen breaking, Hoshina found he wasn't in the mood to talk. So obviously it was a perfect time to be visited by his least favorite person.
Walking down the hallway with a mountain of signed paperwork, his pace was intended to be brisk, but felt sluggish all the same. As he passed an intersection in hallways, he noticed the large frame of a burly friend catching up behind him. As Kafka slowed his pace to match his commander's, Hoshina tilted his face in his direction and flashed what was hoped to be a casual and respectful smile.
"Had a feeling you'd feel like that once I heard about the incident at the coffee machine. Here. Brought this for ya." Kafka said as he handed over a steaming mug of dark tan coffee.
"Oh, I already had coffee today." Hoshina tried to politely decline. he guessed his smile wasn't as bright as it should have been if Kafka could see he was feeling off.
"Yeah, but that was decaf." he insisted as he held the mug by its rim and pointed its handle temptingly toward its intended recipient.
Hoshina stiffed its steam heavily as it wafted under his nose. The smell of a caffeinated brew being much more rejuvenating than the bland swill he choked down this morning. He didn't think twice as he shifted the paper load more securely under his arm and took the offered mug greedily. There was a low, grateful moan as the hot, searing, and just lightly sweetened liquid burned pleasantly down the back of his throat.
'You might've just saved my mental state yet again, Kafka." Hoshina finally muttered after nearly downing half of the mug.
Kafka just chuckled as he walked in time with him, and after a while, held out a hand in an offer to carry the paperwork. Hoshina politely refused again, feeling genuinely better now that he had something more stimulating coursing throughout his system. Walking side by side, they engaged in pleasant idle chatter as they continued down the hallway. Without checking how far they had walked, they neared an area that had a lobby that was sparsely populated. As they got closer, an irritatingly familiar voice rang clear in the partially echoey room.
"Brother Dearest!" Soichiro Hoshina, Soshiro's older brother, was leaning against the desk in the back center of the lobby, relaxing like he deserved the space he was taking up.
"Oh God, why aren't I being delivered from evil like I ask every Shrine visit?" Soshiro muttered as soon as he realized who was occupying the open room with them.
"That's your brother?" Kafka asked as he laid eyes on the visitor.
"Unfortunately." Soshiro said with every letter somehow overflowing with distain and loudly enough to be heard by the other person.
"Come on, brother! You had to have known that one of these visits was to have to happen soon? It's been, what, months since you've even sent at minimum a hello to Mother." Soichino's words were playful, a clear difference in demeanor to the attitude his younger brother was radiating. A second had passed as he clearly gave the plus one an interested once-over after he lifted his sunglasses off his face.
"Well, hello soldier. And who might you be?" A salacious smile slithered coolly over Soichiro's glossy, thin lips. His tongue flicked out and over his teeth teasingly as he continued to stare down Kafka with a darkened sense of interest. Kafka bowed deeply in greeting before he introduced himself.
"Kafka Hibino. Officer of the Third Division." was his militantly clipped response.
"Kafka... Kafka... Where have I heard that name before?" Soichiro drawled out as he shifted over to Kafka's side, poking his shoulder with the arm of his sunglasses with playful emphases.
"He's our Kaiju Number Eight, you salacious cur. Now what are you doing here?" Soshiro snarked as he took another sip of his coffee. His brother made no move to acknowledge the comment as he continued to speak directly to Kafka.
"Kaiju Number Eight, huh! So you're the beast on the battlefield. Is it too much for me to ask if you're a beast anywhere else?" That Cheshire smile never left his face as his eyes turned into a more evaluating gaze.
"Well, I'm the Division's only on call Kaiju. It's pretty safe to say that I'm always the beast when it's needed." Kafka smiled bashfully as a hand came up to scratch the back of his neck. Soichiro practically giggled as a hand came up to mischievously smack the other shoulder.
"Look at you! Making out to be something that strong and powerful as a humble brag!" the older brother seemed to slide in closer to Kafka's personal space, with Kafka playing it off as business as usual. Soshiro could feel the handle of the mug creaking under his tightened grip as he looked on at his brother's shameless display.
"Ya know, I had originally cleared out my schedule to take my brother out on a lunch date, but I've just realized he's been a horrible brother and hasn't shown me around the Third Division's main facilities not once!", Soichiro saddled up impossibly closer and even had the audacity to slip a hand around the back of Kafka's forearm, "Why don't I be a good Captain and help clear yours so you can show me around? I'm sure any tour by you would be far more interesting than what he could provide." Soshiro watched as he saw the offer being sealed with an obviously flirty wink.
"Well, I'd be happy to! That is, if it's alright with my Vice Captain?" Kafka asked as he looked innocently toward the younger brother, seemingly unaware or unaffected by the attention he was currently being given.
"No Kafka, that won't be necessary, If my brother is going to come out all this way to see me, then he's just going to have to settle for my company alone." Soshiro said as he placed his paperwork and his coffee mug on the abandoned reception desk.
"Yeah, that makes sense. Maybe some other time?" Kafka asked as he looked at the older Hoshina brother.
"Such a shame. Don't be surprised if I take you up on that offer." Soichiro tittered as he patted the other side of the forearm he was still holding onto. The two brothers watched intently as Kafka turned around and walked down the hallway. Soshiro waited until he was out of every possible hearing range before he decided to speak.
"Alright, you bottle-platinum harlot. What the hell was that display all about?" Soshiro made no attempts to restrain his irritation at his brother's expense. He had no idea what game his brother was trying to play with him, but he wouldn't stand for it since it seemed to involve a very close and personal friend of his.
"I don't know what you mean." Soichiro said as he kept tittering. His posture and demeanor revealing to his younger brother that there was a plan brewing behind those evil eyes.
"I will not have you seducing my strongest man over to your division while I'm here." Soshiro commanded as he leveled a piercing gaze at the other person.
"Excuse me, 'Your man'? I'm sorry, but I didn't see a ring on his finger." Soichiro teased as he turned to face his brother.
"That's not what I meant and you know it, you vile rake." Soshiro spat the words out in an attempt to dissuade any further conversation on the topic.
"So catty today, are we brother? I was simply taking in the local selection. I'm not surprised you're interested in him." Soichiro chatted as he teasingly bit on the arm of his sunglasses.
"I also see you've decided to take up slander as a hobby since last we met." Soshiro grumbled as he found himself forced into a position where he had to talk to his brother in person for more than a minute.
"Oh, please! You know our family has a history of liking them sweet and dumb. How do you think Mother's marriage has lasted this long?" Soichiro continued as he leveled a knowing stare at him.
"If you're going to keep insinuating things that don't exist, I'm going to order you to cancel the lunch date and leave." the younger brother retorted as he turned around to drink the last sips from the coffee mug.
"What do you think I'm insinuating?" Soichiro purred as his sight never left his brother.
"Don't toy with me today, you troglodytic trollup. I am in no mood to bat around this string of yarn you're trying to spin here." Soshina kept snapping back as he took the opportunity to avoid eye contact as he shuffled around the stack of papers.
"Why all the denial, Brother Dearest? Especially since we're so far from Egypt. Besides, it's not slander saying you like a coworker as if your interactions weren't displayed all over the news two weeks ago." The grin broke into a full blown, toothy smile of superiority as the Captain of the Sixth Division draped himself over the desk's top next to Soshiro.
"What... interactions?" the Vice Captain hissed as he slowly turned his head to side-eye his brother
"Should I reenact it for you?" Soichiro giggled before flopping onto his back and dramatically fainting, "Oh! I seem to have taken a terrible fall and broken both of my legs! Oh, is there some dark, handsome, Knight in living armour that can princess-carry my oh so fragile body to the farthest fucking ambulance on scene and completely bypass three others that were unoccupied and were going to take me to the same fucking hospital!" It was clear that he was taking a massive amount of joy retelling his version of events that he saw on the news as his voice raised in volume with every reveal.
"I didn't break my legs, I dislocated my ankles! What would you have me do, walk?" Soshiro started to match his brother's volume and had now fully turned to him to confront this problem of point-of-views head on.
"The cameras clearly show you two having a conversation where it shows you convincing him to carry you!" The two of them were so close to each other's faces now their noses could touch.
"I was trying to convince him not to!" Soshiro returned.
"Because the cameras were rolling?" Soichiro asked.
"Yes!" his brother answered.
"AND BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE! Why else be camera shy about being carried around in public?" The eldest returned triumphantly as he poked him in the chest.
"NO." Soshiro shouted back as he shoved his brother backwards, "We are not in love! What part of this do you think it's okay to date someone like him?"
"Oh don't act like you can't because he's under your position. He makes his own precedent as he breathes! And you are the right type of rebellious, attention craving, delinquent punk that would absolutely fall for someone that is perfect for you in all the right ways, while also him being a human anomaly in every sense of the word! He turns into something our family has been training it's young to kill for centuries so of course you're going to deviate from the norm and be practically head over heels for him!" The Captain couldn't stop himself from cackling as his lungs quaked from talking for so long without breath.
There wasn't anything left on the matter that Soshiro could say to make his brother change his mind, so he decided to let his fists do the talking for him as he sent a vicious right hook. His fist connected to his brother's left eye and caught him off guard for a second. Before he could speak out against the assault, the younger brother wasted no time in jumping onto his brother and throwing his fists left and right. The two soon became a mass of tangled limbs and colorful curse words on the floor. It wasn't like this for long as two other people came across the fight and helped break up the fray.
"Alright, alright! Break it UP!" You two are grown up men, and Defense Force officers at that! ACT LIKE IT!" Okonogi reprimanded them as Aoi held them off the ground by their jacket collars.
"Yes, Okonogi." The brothers said in unison. As they were set back on the ground, they straightened their outfits and waited to see if their new company would leave. When they didn't, Soichiro decided to speak what was left on his mind anyway.
"The lunch date is still on, by the way. Mother's orders. How about I give us an hour to cool down and we try this whole 'conversation' thing again?" he tried to say with as much possible conviction in his smile. Soshiro just glared violently as he picked up the stack of papers from the desk.
"I do what I damn well please, you leporid bunk bunny." he said as he stormed off. Everyone watched as he walked away before his older brother spoke up again.
"He'll be fine."
𓈒 𑁍 𓈒
It was a little after seven thirty before Hoshina felt fine enough to interact with anyone. Spending some time in the gym helped him feel better after dealing with the Lunch Date From Hell. It also helped that he got to meet his favorite punching bag for sparring.
"Look -huff- I get you -huff- don't like your brother -huff-, but did you really -huff- need to literally -huff- kick my ass?" Kafka's lungs heaved after spending what felt like hours defending himself from his Vice Captain's volley of blows.
"Ya snooze, ya loose Kafka. Intense training is for your own good." Hoshina quipped back as he walked over to his duffle for water bottles. Kafka shambled behind him slowly and sat down on the bench the bag was next to.
"Intense training, my entire bruised ass. That last chokehold felt personal." Kafka began to regulate his breathing by the time Hoshina made it over with the water bottles.
As Hoshina drank from his, he subtly tried to look at Kafka as he poured some of the bottle's contents onto himself. He watched as the water made his partner's bangs stick to his forehead at odd angles and made a swift attempt to cool his fiery red cheeks. Hoshina didn't let his imagination run too far away from him as he thought about Kafka looking worn out and sweaty for a different reason. Of course he denied everything that was said earlier that was concerning the situation between him and Kafka. Mainly because it all implied that Kafka felt the same way he did. Had it been a complete stranger talking to him this morning, it would have shocked everyone that knew him once they heard how different his answers would have been.
As Kafka finished rubbing the cool water into his face and straightened his back and arms out into an intense looking stretch, Hoshina forced himself to look away from the rippling of muscle and the straining of his tank top around said muscles. In moments like this, when he was sure no one would be looking or they were alone, Hoshina liked to play a little game with Kafka. It wasn't one that you could win with points or anything. Hell, some days it made Hoshina feel like all he did was lose by playing, but he couldn't deny that conniving little twitch that begged for him to play over and over again. All so he could see that dumb little smile.
"Still improving as slow as always." Hoshina said after a minute of relaxing on the bench.
"Hey, at least I am still improving, right?" Kafka returned as he looked back at his Vice Captain.
There was a smile, sure, but it wan't big. He could do better.
"Can't say I don't find you to be consistent at least 1% of the time." Hoshina offered as a response, deciding to bring up a well used joke between them. He turned back to look out at the empty gym in front of them.
"God, I still haven't gotten higher than that, haven't I?" Kafka chuckled out of the side of his mouth.
"It was a good thing we found out you were a kaiju when we did. Could you imagine what would have happened if you couldn't raise that percentage up high enough in three months?" Hoshina thought the comment sounded funnier in his head, but once he heard it out loud he wanted to smack himself for it. Everyone knew that it was a horrible thought, thinking about Kafka not being around anymore. Even that was something Hoshina couldn't bring himself to deny or joke about.
"I do every day." Kafka sighed heavily, "Everyday I wake up here." He closed his eyes for a second as he smiled softly, his head coming to rest against the back wall the bench was against.
Hoshina turned back to look at him, taking Kafka's moment of vulnerability to look at him fully this time. He thought about it too. A life in the Defense Force where he didn't get to see Kafka everyday. A life where he didn't bring him coffee or hear his laugh or have drinks with him after work hours. Hoshina could feel his heart squeeze at the thought of Kafka not being in the Defense Force, or worse, suddenly living at a different Division. Being close by technicality, but feeling oh so very far.
"Did you notice my brother was flirting with you at all?" Hoshina felt himself ask before he could take the words back. He felt himself brace for the answer in the brief moments in between his heartbeats.
"Wait... really?" Kafka asked with genuine interest. Hoshina could feel his face twist into something between curiosity and mild disgust. Kafka couldn't tell he was being flirted with? And was okay with it coming from his brother?
"Ye-yeah?" Hoshina returned hesitantly.
"You sure? 'Cuz I mean... wow. He's... actually interested? In me?" Kafka's smile grew bigger and more wonky as he processed what he was told.
"You're okay with this?" Hoshina questioned incredulously. He could not believe what he was seeing, and was actively praying that this wasn't the case.
"Are you kidding? Of course! You're brother is frickin' hot!" Kafka replied with joy, "Is he, like, still around? I mean, I know he's not here kinda around, but I mean, is he like, nearby? Like in a hotel or something? Nah, that would be creepy. Oh! Could you let me have his number?" Kafka prattled on as Hoshina continued to become more and more disgusted. Sure, he was a little happy to hear that Kafka was cool with being hit on by guys, (and clearly reciprocated the sentiment) but felt absolutely horrified at hearing Kafka wanting his brother's number. So much so that he immediately stood on the bench seat so he could get a good enough vantage to stomp on Kafka to stop his train of thought.
"You! Will! NOT! Be! Dating! My! BROTHER!" Hoshina shouted out between the stomping.
"Jesus! And here I thought you wouldn't be having a problem with me liking guys! Yah know, since you told me about it!" Kafka shouted back as he tried to defend himself from the onslaught.
"I don't have a problem with you dating guys! I have a problem with you dating my brother!" Hoshina said as he pressed his foot down firmly onto Kafka's hands that were protecting his head.
'Well then, who would you rather have me date?" Kafka returned rhetorically.
"Me for starters!" Hoshina finally admitted. Once he did, he let the pressure off of his foot and just stayed in the position for a hot minute, feeling as awkward as a school girl admitting to her first crush. Kafka just held onto the foot as he looked up at his commander with wide, unbelieving eyes. All Hoshina could bring himself to do was look away, his cheeks flushing hot and bright. Kafka helped lower the foot down as he got up from his seat to face him from the front.
"Have... have you been flirting with me too?" Kafka asked. Hoshina still couldn't look at him or answer, so his cheeks answered for him.
"How long have you been flirting with me?" Kafka asked again.
"Two... two years." Hoshina answered quietly.
"We've known each other for two years." Kafka responded. Hoshina still hadn't made a move, only crossed his arms defensively.
"YOU'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME SINCE WE MET?" Kafka shouted as he made the realization.
"To be fair, I don't flirt like a normal person and you clearly can't read context clues." Hoshina said as he finally regained some control over his mouth. He just wished he had better control over what it said.
"Why didn't you say anything before now?" Kafka sounded incredulous at the thought of how he could have been dating the most amazing person on base before now, had be been able to read between the lines.
" I kept thinking it was funny?" Hoshina responded in a shy, quivering voice as more blood rushed to his face and made it redder.
"Okay, now I have to ask. What about me do you like? Do you think I'm handsome, or do you really just like to think I'm funny?" Kafka questioned as he waved his hands around animatedly.
"Honestly? I just really like that you're funny." Hoshina said as he relaxed and playfully shrugged. Now feeling better about having all of this out in the open.
" So, just, fuck my face then." Kafka said in a sarcastically irritated manner while turning around and waving his arms.
"I would if you'd stop talking." Hoshina accidentally let slip.
He wasn't ashamed of saying it, but probably should have found a better time to say it. It didn't seem to matter anyway as Kafka took a second to stop his flailing and slowly turned around to face his commander again. A sly smile tugged at the corner of his lips as his eyes darkened at the play on words they stumbled into.
"Well alright then." Kafka chuckled darkly as he strode over to where Hoshina was still standing. He grabbed his legs and threw him over his shoulder, holding onto Hoshina's calves for dear life as he carried his thrashing lover out of the gym.
"Wha-what do you think you're doing?" Hoshina cried as he tried to look back at his kidnapper. Kafka returned the most intensely flirtatious side-eye back at him as they walked out of the gym.
"Moving training to your place, so you can properly shut me up."
"Wha-what, no dinner first?" Hoshina stuttered nervously as he continued to be paraded down the hall on Kafka's shoulder. He got even more nervous as Okonogi slid past his line of sight and watched them walk away.
"You've been flirting with me for two years. Dinner can wait." Kafka growled as the other hand came up and audibly smacked Hoshina on the ass.
#I consider myself impressed that I managed to come up with four different words to substitute wh*re..#I like to think that both Soichiro and their mother are fluent in “Fighting as a Love Language terminology”#i.e. Fighting back to back against each other means you two are fated soul mates#and carrying someone off the battlefield means you're married#so when the two of them saw the news footage of Hoshina being carried to the ambulance they FREAKED.#Their mother immediately commissioned Soichiro to visit his brother and instigate the two of them getting together.#Soichiro did it without hesitation and was the one to put decaf in the coffee machine as a ploy.#I was going to write an after credit scene Of Soichiro talking to their mother where that was revealed#but I thought this was going to get done in a day like my last one and it didn't#so now I feel like I've worked on this longer than I should have.#their argument feels so British coded when I read it in my head for some reason.#it doesn't help that Hoshina starts off by calling his brother a “Salacious Cur”#It f*cking sucked writing the argument too because I can't not call Soshiro by his last name (It feel wrong to me for some reason)#But he's talking to his brother that has his last name so now I HAVE to use their first name#and what the f*ck is the name SOICHIRO anyway?!?!!?#I still had way too much fun finding subtle ways of making him come across as flirty.#Long post#short story#fanfiction#kaiju 8#kaiju no. 8#kaiju number 8#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#Kafhoshi#hoshikaf#kaijuu number 8#kaiju no.8#kaiju no 8#kaijuu 8 gou
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Only O’LiamRoe remained by Margaret Lennox’s side as the doors reopened and in the shadows a man came to stand, fair, lightly made and dimly sparkling, like crystal half-seen in the dark, a young page carrying a baton at his back. Then he moved out into the fine room and the monkey, shrilling, dropped on to the cloth of gold tabard, thick and dazzling as the sun on the sea. ... O'LiamRoe looked at the Countess. Her unusually bleached good looks which he had been admiring a moment before had given way to a sudden queer heightening of her splendour. She drew a long, unsteady breath. The air, which had been alive as an eel bath with brilliant unchosen words, became abruptly quite dead. ... Turning, he looked at Vervassal again. The shrillness of temperament you might have suspected from that opening sentence was not in fact there; rather there was, nearly concealed, a sort of residual power, clear as blown glass, piercing and concentrated as a needle of ice. O’LiamRoe became conscious that the man was looking at him, and turned away. The herald’s gaze turned to Lady Lennox, who, O’LiamRoe could not know, saw none of these things: saw an untouched boy’s face of eight years before and another, more recent, with the new hammer-shapes of leadership plainly on it. And now here was a face she had never quite seen, circumstances she did not know, an intellect she recognized, an illness he could not easily hide, pressed and frozen together into a detachment as dark and icy as O’LiamRoe’s, for example, was shallow and warm. For all these reasons, for the surge of a blind force within her that she had throttled all these years before and abandoned for dead, Margaret Lennox looked back at Lymond and was silent.
- Queens Play, Part 3 VI London: The Nettle and the Venom
#f*ck me but do i love this description of Lymond#i am gleeful for any scene between him and margaret douglas#“my hope of heaven and my knowledge of hell”#for all its faults i love the writing in queens play an obscene amount#the descriptions are just#*chefs kiss*#i have a compilation of thady boy highlights saved up#also#just#poor francis trying his hardest and doing his best to save everybody without anyone dying and everyone continuing to think the worst of him#the nightshade incident#i will never be over phelim's absolute tirade at him for being drunk and wrecking himself and prostituting himself#ALL OF WHICH IS TRUE#hurling wine and water over him mercilessly#while francis is there TRYING NOT TO DIE#laughing through the agony#aiiieeeeee#DOROTHY#got myself off on a tangent there but my goodness i do love so much about this book#queens play#lymond chronicles#dorothy dunnett
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made it gayer
#dungeon meshi#farcille#marcille donato#falin touden#manga panel#yes I was cackling the whole time I edited this#free to use#took the speech bubbles out and made it gayer#by this I mean I changed Marcille’s expression#Falin was already making that face#edit: if you’re going to be a hater on any ship in the fandom; f*ck off. This post is not for you (certified: a multishipper)#if you’re the type to like/reblog posts that go “eww who ships Marcille x Laios.” This post is not for you#if you’re hating on the m/m ships because “it’s taking attention away from Farcille” f*ck off. Shipping is not a competition#as you can see#I am getting TIRED of shipping wars being brewed in the fandom#I thought we were all adults here#why am I seeing Voltron-like behaviour in the main tag#Fy posts
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Idk, I think Gale would like my bookmark. What do you think? 🤭
#f*ck off m reading#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#gale#baldur's gate gale#baldurs gate
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You laugh at literally one. ONE. of shinso’s jokes and he falls in love with you
#Shinso#he’s probably not even talking to u but u overhear something and start giggling#and he thinks about it for two years#HAS TO BECOME YOUR FRIEND TO SEE MORE#not that other ppl don’t find him funny bc I know he’s funny as f*ck#but he has to make making YEW laugh his career#it’s like bells go off angels come down he’s staring at u like 😐 meanwhile he’s panicking in his head#he’s a nerd that’s why#anyway#I forget abt him a lot but I won’t him carnally#happy new year peeps#shii posts#gen
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Tbh I can almost understand Wesker's rage at Chris cause that little shit called a 38 y/o senile
#/j#Chris there's only 13 years between you c'mon#Albert Wesker#Chris Redfield#Chrisker#resident evil#Wesker is middle-aged and damn fine for it#mid-tier: Wesker is enraged at Chris for whatever the f*ck is going on in canon#s-tier: Wesker is enraged at Chris because of generational and age differences and these damn kids are pissing him off
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#r.i.p believe sign
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#tedlassoedit#the believe sign#dailytvsource#tvandfilm#cinematv#sitcomedit#underbetelgeuse#I CAN'T BELIEVE (oh f*ck) they k*lled off a character after all and it was the believe sign#I GET THE POINT HE WAS MAKING BUT I MADE AN ATTACHMENT TO THAT SIGN JASON#edit: NEVER MIND SHE LIVES
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“you need to summon your inner divine feminine.”
“why are you still in your masculine energy?”
“sex creates cosmic soul bonds.”
get the fuck away from me and start taking your meds lmao pls.
#9 times out of 10 they’re a new-age nahzee#f*ck off t*rfs#|| the disciple ||#ex catholic#exvangelical#ex cult#PIMO#ex christian#atheist#ex traditionalist#leftism#exmo#ex religious#ex fundie#deconversion#extian#deconstructing christianity#ex fundamentalist#leaving the church#progressive politics#apostate
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