#F*ck book canon

[hikarielizabethbloom]

Ok, I'm gonna talk briefly about the kiss of discord. 😂

I've read about the kiss before watching the ep, so from some of the reactions I thought it was going to be a passionate kiss at the end of ep with some 'ohhh' moments from both of them.

Imagine my surprise when the kiss happened, anticlimacticly (is this even a word?), in the beginning of ep, it lasted 2 secs, there was no passion, and was followed by Galadriel's wtaf face. And it meant so little that the characters went on with their life so easily that I forgot about it in the next scene.

Now, the controversial opinion 😂. I liked it. Yes, they could have done it without it but who cares. It was intimate, it was affectionate. It was clearly a kiss between two people who love each other deeply. I didn't feel anything romantic and the interviews with both Morfydd and Robert confirmed it. So...

Edit: the writers are really lucky and doomed because Morfyyd has so much chemistry with everyone on screen that she could've kissed anyone and I would be like 'ok, yeah. That kind of make sense' 🤷‍♀️

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: They're Soulmates!

Buck and Eddie share a once in a lifetime love of each other's lives type of love that transcends space and time.

The love they share is not platonic, it's romantic and the natural chemistry they have is OFF THE CHARTS.

There are people who wish they could have one tenth of the love they share with each other and that's why over the years, the show has made it a point to highlight and compare their love interests against the other one as a way to prove Buck and Eddie are meant for each other.

Therefore, can it once and for all be acknowledged that the possible reason why NONE of Buck’s previous relationships with AC, AM, TK and ND never worked was because THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO?

The same goes for Eddie because NONE of his relationships ever worked either including the one he had with Chris' mother. SD, AF and now M (who the show still hasn't given a last name and that speaks volumes as to how long she'll possibly be around) didn’t or won't work for Eddie because THEY WEREN'T/AREN'T SUPPOSED TOO EITHER?

It's interesting to see all these takes on how some people view their previous relationships with those women through rose colored glasses and saying things like they could have been great if... (_______ fill in the blank with whatever randomness you'd like). The point is they weren't meant to be anything but a placeholder until Buddie goes CANON.

Buck

There have been so many takes on Buck and TK being perfect because they were cute together but did everyone who thinks that forget she was willing to throw the 118 and their captain under the bus in 2x6? Don't even try to rebutt it with logic from that fake redemption arc that was included in 5x7 for her because in 5x17 she ultimately accomplished her goal by doing exactly what she intended four years earlier when she broke a promise she made to Buck and ran with the Jonah story then wrote a raggedy book about it exactly one year later in 6x17. It's true that Buck knew who she was but he still dated her (which speaks more to his poor decision making than hers) but they both knew it was wrong from the start. They were never going to work and they were never FRIENDS. Friends don't treat each other like $hit so they can get their way then expect for you to just be ok with it and follow it up with a half @ssed apology like, "I'm sorry you're still upset about the story" 🙄. With friends like that, Buck doesn't need enemies.

AC literally ABANDONED him but there are still people who think she would have been good for him. It appears they forgot she FOUND a man with two kids in another country and in 3x18 she came back two years later to rub Buck’s face in it. She didn't even have the decency to apologize to him.

AM was the worst of all because SHE WAS NEVER THERE WHEN BUCK NEEDED HER. Was she nice, yes but she didn't know him at all and when his leg got crushed by the ladder truck in 2x18, she dipped and ABANDONED him too. But for some reason, she's being heralded as his best relationship ever which is so far from the truth it's funny sad not funny haha. She left him in his loft with a cast on his leg because she didn't know what she wanted.

ND was/is only interested in Buck because he DIED! THAT'S IT! There's nothing else to the story. She clearly COULDN'T SEE HIM because they only knew each other for two seconds so please stop romanticizing their hookup like it was some "Gone with the Wind" love story because that's a bunch of BS since they didn't and still don't know each other.

Eddie

SD was NOT the perfect wife and mother people who wanted her to stick around and coparent Chris with Eddie have made her out to be. The show clearly retconned her character in 6x15 like she was so young and she didn't deserve to die but be clear, the relationship she had with Eddie was toxic as F%ck! All they did was argue and instead of talking, they had sex. They didn't communicate and when she was ready to leave again, she thought she would have time to come back and be "someone's wife and someone's mother" (her words but notice she didn't say Chris' mother or Eddie's wife, she said someone's) but her time ran out and she didn't get the chance, hence the title of the episode she died in, "Careful what you wish for". Trust and believe she had a lot of faults and Eddie did too but her being young wasn't an excuse for her leaving Chris and not contacting him for almost 2 years. If Eddie wouldn't have contacted her about her interviewing at Durand, would she have ever come back? Who knows but probably not since she was out there living her best life like she didn't have a kid.

AF was nice but just because her and Eddie were cute together, it doesn't mean they were soulmates. Did the people rooting for them to stay together even realize that she was Chris' schoolteacher in 3x12 but she DIDN'T OFFER EDDIE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO HELP CHRIS SKATEBOARD? That was literally her job but she was career driven which isn't a bad thing but it seemed like she was in love with the idea of being in love just like Eddie was. She was trying to avoid dealing with the issues that were prevalent in their relationship and she didn't even ask Eddie about his panic attacks to try and find out what was causing them. But she did throw them in his face when he broke up with her.

M is IN LOVE WITH HER BROTHER! It was clear she was in 6x5 when she almost kissed him on the mouth while they were in the ambulance. Also, she's a loner, hence the meaning of her name, Marisol, it literally means solitude. When Eddie met her, she was doing upgrades on her home by herself until her brother showed up and made a complete mess of things. If Eddie does try to pursue something formidable with her in season 7, everyone knows how it will end because EDDIE TOLD THE AUDIENCE IN 6X14... he'll be performing and trying not to panic and his performance anxiety will be at a level 100.

Buddie

Who's never left Buck? EDDIE!

Who loves both Eddie and Chris? BUCK!

Who takes care of Buck? EDDIE!

Who listens to Eddie? BUCK!

The list can go on and on but the point of this post is for those who chose to see what they want to see instead of what 9-1-1 has CLEARLY been depicting for Buck and Eddie over the past six years. None of Buck’s or Eddie’s love interests were written to work because they weren't/aren't supposed to.

No one has natural chemistry with them like they have with each other and it's written that way on PURPOSE!

[wordsrequired]

is it weird that I never felt threatened by any other ship? sometimes I try to reflect and try to put myself in other people’s shoes. and I think why would the author even make elain and azriel a thing if elucien was the endgame? like why insert hints and moments that could’ve really been with lucien. he could have saved elain, he could have discovered she was a seer, he could have had a moment with her on solstice, he could exchange charged glances and little touches with her but he didn’t. like why give these moments to azriel? why not use these moments to build up your endgame? why make azriel move on from his 500 year old crush because of elain? if he isn’t supposed to be with elain, why even insert her in his story? why give them those moments? like elain already had graysen as a love interest and azriel had mor. why couldn’t they just gravitate to their endgames after that? don’t people understand that azriel’s story loses meaning if he jumps from one woman to another? or if he just goes after another woman just because he can’t be with elain? like where’s the romance and depth in that? like why should elain and azriel’s paths cross romantically? since people say it’s lust which obviously it’s not, cause you wouldn’t be celibate for a year, thinking about someone every night, losing sleep because of that person, keeping their gift in your bedside table, letting them haunt you, moving on from hundreds of years of wanting someone else ecc. just for lust. but let’s say it is just lust why should that even be included in the story? why does them wanting to f*ck each other have any importance in the story? and him being so affected by elain’s mating bond? even smelling it? needing to stay away in case it becomes unbearable? the man being in pain because of it? like why? why add that? why doubt the cauldron? why doubt and discuss their mating bond? there’s no necessity for all of this, if their journeys will be separate. why make elain have spy tendencies and hints? why make her friends with the spy wraiths azriel trained? they’re so many why’s I could write a book.

and the answer is so simple. but I know why it’s hard to grasp for some people. it’s because they dislike elain, the majority might even hate her. and they are blinded by that hate. it would be more honest to say I don’t want her with azriel cause I don’t like her than to twist the whole story and try to convince people that canon is actually a part of our collective imagination. I’d respect people more if they accepted what’s canon but just expressed that they don’t like it and really wish the author would follow another route. that’s it.

[inexplicablymine]

The Fandom Feasts

There are so many updates on AO3 for this Friday I just wanted to let y’all know that the RWRB fandom feasts today

In no particular order todays updates (including the link to read them of course ;)

the one in which everything is the same, but Alex has piercings and Henry has no idea by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries (E/2K)

Technically last night and a second chapter update ~ but as a celebration fic for 200 subscribers it deserves a shout out, the title is exactly like it sounds and some may like it hot, but Poutini’s fics always are

under the tuscan sun by @stutteringpeach (E/5.4K)

One shot with a mistaken Airbnb double booking, one bed, and the Italian countryside. What more could you ask for (there’s not, let me tell ya)

Going Platinum by @cricketnationrise (E/12K)

A spicy chapter three update of Cricket’s Cam Boy AU (and fret not this story is being updated DAILY every day until it reaches its 5 chapter conclusion)

Little Matters by @pridepages (M/72k)

If you have not been tuning in every Friday to this absolute masterpiece you are missing out. This chapter 14 installment was just one update in a long line of updates that have had me on the edge of my seat. Found family, real family, AU and a whole lot of slow burn between our boys

But I love him, whether or no. by @leaves-of-laurelin (E/5.4K)

This first chapter installment of a FDNY/Firefighter AU is exactly what everyone in this fandom needs. So enjoy this piping hot piece of writing.

Under your influence by @clottedcreamfudge (T/2.2K)

A canon compliant one shot 5+1 of all the times Alex was a bad influence and one time Henry was. Y’all this one made me tear up in a good way.

Level-Headed and Even-Kneeled by @historicallysam (T/2.9K)

This one shot features Alex’s water going out, and just maybe his hot neighbor in 807 has a working shower? Honestly cuter than it had any right to be

Drummers Do It Better by @everwitch-magiks (M/1.4K)

Run don’t walk to this one shot that is punchy and on beat every line makes itself count. A game of F*ck Marry Kill featuring the positions in the band. And let me tell you, drummers do it better.

All The Broken Pieces by @ifigo (M/8.9K)

An epilogue months in the making this is a sweet conclusion to the previous chapters described as “three pieces of angst in a crack shaped trench coat”

Minor Holidays by AbsoluteAudacity (E/3.2K)

This is the 4th installment of a 5+1 where the boys celebrate a very sexy little month long “holiday” involving a whole lot of deliciously explicit experiences

In the Stars by @orchidscript (E/38.9K)

A chapter 10 update! This WWII au is a part of Orchid’s History Huh series that if you haven’t taken a peak down you are missing out immensely

In His Wildest Dreams by @myheartalivewrites (E/11.4K)

Listen I wasn’t expecting and 11K canon compliant one shot (spoilers for the bonus chapter) that was this horny today but I’ll take it gladly with no qualms. Truly y’all this one will get ya

we’re right here for a reason by @smc-27 (M/12.8K)

“How to loose a guy in ten days but make it FirstPrince need I say more” - I’ll say more. This is delectable and honestly a feast for all rom com lovers, let it tide you over until the movie comes out.

We don’t feast every Friday ~ but when we do? The grub is good.

[apaperswan]

Unpopular opinion: my personal wrf moment in season 2 happened when Louis suddenly turned into a sociopath and let Emilia die, not giving an absolute flying f*ck about this poor woman that literally saved his and Claudia's lives.

No shades, but Claudia is a single-minded sociopath. She does not care at all about humans, but Louis? The most human of all? Living like he couldn't care less?

Also, Claudia ruining his only moment of joy in 4 bloody years is so damn typical. I love the girl, don't get me wrong, she is so wonderful in season 2, she is right hating on Louis and everything, but the party pooper that she is 🙈

Loved you Emilia, if Lestas was there he would have turned you into a vamp (everyone Lestat vaguely likes is a potential fledgling, that is book canon 🤣)

[lunarthecorvus]

Six Of Crows Canon Divergence fanfiction recommendations

part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series

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The Pugilist's Creed by @bardelow

Wordcount: 123k Chapters: 30/30

Characters: Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker, Matthias Helvar, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Wylan Van Eck, Original Characters

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Gun Violence, Angst, Established Relationship, Slow Burn, Kidnapping, Major Character Injury, Gunshot Wounds, Matthias Helvar Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fjerda, Ketterdam, Canon-Typical Violence, Protective Kaz Brekker, multiple POVs, Inej Ghafa is THAT bitch, Really everyone is THAT bitch, Eventual Fluff, Slow burn Kanej, Established Wesper, established helnik, Helnik Wedding

Author's summary/notes: “I wonder if you’d be dragging your feet like this,” Nina spoke through gritted teeth. “If it was Inej’s life on the line.” A storm fell over Kaz’s features, but he did not move, did not let his eyes fall away. Instead, he spoke in a slow, calculated tone. “I’d choose your next words very carefully, little deathrender. However soft you think I’ve grown, remember that I am always willing to show you that the monster is still alive and well.” It's been sixteen days since Matthias and Wylan were taken, and Kaz Brekker has chased down every possible lead only to come up empty handed. However, with an angry Nina and desperate Jesper at his side, he is willing to do whatever it takes to find his missing crows and bring them back home - even if it means more blood on his hands. My summary/notes: The first part of this fic is VERY angsty and consists of Nina and Jesper being mad at Kaz. Kaz is gen really trying to do his best. This fic comes with a side of badass Inej scenes. The rescue mission/'heist' was so fun to read even if it was intense and emotional. Matthias' POV's are written brillantly and I loved seeing the way his mind worked, he was very book!Matthias in this fic. I will end this with saying Inej, knife, heart.. that scene-

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carry your heart in their teeth by boybi_i

Wordcount: 21k Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey, Matthias Helvar, Kaz Brekker, Jan Van Eck, Alys Van Eck, Kuwei Yul-Bo

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Book 1: Six of Crows, Kidnapping, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Except it takes like 17k to get to the comfort, Murder, Rescue Missions, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Torture, None of said torture happens on screen but it is referenced and talked about, Knives, Knife giving as a love language, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Haphephobia, Canon Disabled Character, Inspired by a The Crane Wives Song, Jan Van Eck Bashing, Canon-Typical Violence

Author's summary/notes: “They will consume your sweet resistance And they'll carry your heart in their teeth But I am always feeding them The ugliest parts of me” - Take Me to War, The Crane Wives - On Vellgeluk, Van Eck kidnaps Kaz. Inej discovers the lengths that which she will go to get him back. My summary/notes: I loved reading Inej's thought process throughout the whole fic, the feelings were written so well. This fic was so interesting especially because its ck Inej and not post canon Inej dealing with Kaz. The crows do argue a lot in this fic, and Inej is focusing all her energy trying to figure out how get Kaz back while ignoring her pain. Very whumpy.

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Plan F by bbbeautifulboy

Wordcount: 168k Chapters: 30/? (hasn't been updated in a year)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Alternate Ending, Jurda Parem, Matthias Helvar Lives, On the Run, Canon Disabled Character, Deaf Character, Found Family, Jesper Fahey Has ADHD, Sign Language, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Angst with a Happy Ending, this fic is so unhinged, Mental Instability, Chronic Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Addiction, Platonic Relationships, Service Dogs, Plot, Healing, POV Multiple, Pirates, Crows as Found Family, Captain Inej Ghafa, Time Skips, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Simp Matthias Helvar, Original Character(s), Including a baby, Minor Character(s), Developing Friendships, Hallucinations

Author's summary/notes: The Auction fails, leaving all of the Crows with a warrant for arrest over their heads and all of Ketterdam and the countries beyond officially their enemy. They've lost everything: their money, obscurity, and their last chance at winning and walking away free. They can only be helped by the Saints and each other now. What will they do to survive? The home that’s lived for years in his nightmares surrounds him, but he cannot see past the five people in front of him. His crew- they’re all looking to him, and as long as they are, he has something to fight for and protect the way he did his reputation and name in Ketterdam. He’s not letting them go. My summary/notes: In this fic you have everything, cottagecore, fluff, angst and a whole bunch of plots. The crows really feel like found family in this and its so sweet. A whole bunch of angst so be warned. Helnik is so cute in this fic. This was one of the first big fics I read and I absolutely adored it.

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l'appel du vide by @alltheworldsinmyhead

Wordcount: 41k Chapters: 8/8

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Tante Heleen

Tags: Angst with a bittersweet ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Marriage of Convenience, Kaz and Inej make a deal, jokes on them, mentions of past trauma, Canon Backstories, Past Rape/Non Con, Partners to Lovers, slowburn, Inej nevr becomes the Wraith, post-revenge Kaz, Kanej - Freeform, secondary wesper, Canon-Typical Violence

Author's summary/notes: “He was hoping that bringing a famous prostitute on his arm to the saloons and ballrooms of the rich and the powerful of Ketterdam would at least bring him some entertainment if nothing else. But what Kaz did not take into consideration was what marrying a woman like Inej really meant.” CANON DIVERGENCE AU: Kaz comes to the Menagerie for Inej many years too late and bites off more than he can chew. My summary/notes: Honestly this fic is the best thing I've ever read. It presents Inej's character so her but at the same she's so different and its expected as she has been in the menagerie for so many years. This story is a marriage of convenience and follows both Kaz and Inej's path of miscommunication angst and some healing along the way. If you read this fic you will never be the same.

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A Shift in the Air by Just_Another_Bookworm

Wordcount: 176k Chapters: 66/66

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pre-Canon, Kaz is Deaf, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Slow Build, canon adjacent

Author's summary/notes: The chattering masses of people he passed didn’t know it yet, but they would one day fear the half-drowned nine year old shaking from the cold and the effects of the plague. Then again, no one knew much about Kaz Brekker. They didn’t know he wasn’t from the Barrel or that he’d once had a family. They never guessed where the rasp in his young voice came from. They certainly didn’t know why he really wore gloves. Most weren’t even convinced he was human. No one ever suspected that Kaz Brekker was deaf. *** Basically a random story of what if Kaz went deaf from the plague. It starts sort of pre-canon and has expanded. I am bad at summaries so read the first chapter if you want to get a feel for what this story is. My summary/notes: Reading this Deaf Kaz AU was so fascinating, they adapted Kaz being deaf around canon soc so well. The Kanej in this fic captures that beauty of understanding each other through not saying words. It also goes into Kaz and Jesper's brother bond and it so sweet to read.

[ndcultureis]

ND culture is being so sensitive about the canon. I mean, book-based movies and series. I want to make people responsible for casting, script etc read the book. I want to lock them up in my basement until they're done and sorry. Like GET THE F*CK OUT WITH THIS NON-CANON SHIT DUDE

.

[bpd-blorbo-bracket]

Hello and Welcome to the Borderline Blorbo Bracket! I've not seen one yet for us and that is a crime so I wanted to fix that. (You don't have to have bpd to submit!)

I'm Mod Izaya and I use He/It pronouns. [I am over 20]

Submissions: Closed. But will open again for more with enough demand.

Bracket: A-E Here. F-H Here. I-K Here. L Here. M Here. N, Finals Here.

+++++++++

Please read all rules and outlines before submitting, and please check the questions tag before sending in questions I will delete your question if I've already answered it in a previous ask. I will delete your submission if you didn't read the rules.

Tags to watch:

Mod Izaya: I'm talking freely - Questions: Answering your questions - Inbox: Stuff from the inbox regardless of content - Propaganda: For Propaganda - Conversing: Reblog chains with talking - Poll time- Polls questions once the poll starts

Rules and Submissions form Below:

Rules and Outlines:

Character doesn't have to canonically have BPD.

No submitting the same character more than once.

 You can submit multiple characters, but make them different submissions

Submit them even if no one else has, They will get in anyway.

Please put their name and source exactly as it appears on the cover of the book/game with no added emojis

Don't beat down others in your propaganda, just have fun supporting who you're submitting

 Propaganda doesn't have rules besides that! Write a little note or a long paragraph or an a fucking essay! Let people see what you see in them!  Canon proof or strong hunch from a  few clues are all good! I Am Serious All Propaganda is Good as long as it's TRUE.

If you've read this far, tell me your favorite food in the 🍰 Section.

No H*rry P*tt*r or Att*ck on T*tan or Real People (Media version of them are fine: ie: No Real founding fathers but I GUESS if you're evil someone from the play hamilton would count. I guess. Maybe no that specifically tho.

No T/rfs, r-df-ms, or n-zis allowed in poll or out :)

Have fun!

Submissions form:

tagging some other polls ive seen: No pressure to reblog

@killerrobot-killingmatch, @masked-character-competition @the-ballerina-battle @the-robot-bracket @gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat @irritable-bowel-showdown

[masterwords]

go the f*ck to sleep

Summary: JJ sees Hotch struggling with single parenthood and offers to help. Miraculously...he accepts.

Pairing: none

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: mentions of canon character deaths (haley & jj's sister), insomnia, grief, depression

Notes: I woke up this morning and had this image in my mind. It was written so fast and it's barely a fully fledged thought but...here you go. It's sad Hotch hours. And it isn't hotchgan! (I have a lot of that coming your way in the next week though, between several stories and several moodboards.) Merry Thursday!

*********

It wasn’t much. Hell, it was barely anything at all, she thought as she set the paper cup (extra hot americano, double shot) on Hotch’s desk. She held the card in her hands, hesitant. His office was cleaner than it had been in as long as she could remember, and it made her deeply uncomfortable. Like he was hiding something.

He’d always been an open book when it came to his work load. Case files and reports stacked on his desk, his email perpetually two away from being overflowing, the data on his phone complaining about the number of texts he wouldn’t delete. Just in case he needed them. (And he had needed plenty of them, so the end justified the means, so to speak.) So this new thing, this clean office, clean desk, organized email inbox...well she was a little concerned.

Everyone deals with grief differently and as she looked around at this office she barely recognized, JJ could see his grief written in every tidy corner, every neatly filed piece of paper. Maybe he was on top of it so he could be home with Jack, that was best case scenario, but what she thought might actually be happening was that he’d simply begun taking all of it home with him. That he was drowning in his apartment where no one could save him.

She looked at the card in her hand and thought about her parents grieving over her sister. How her father stopped talking to her for months, how her mother doubled down on the anger and the intensity. How she became a surrogate for what was lost but not in any helpful way. She could remember it all vividly while knowing there was a lot of that time she’d never really be able to access. She was older than Jack when her sister died, Jack would have even fewer memories when he was grown. He’d barely have a glowing faded ghost of a mom in his head, but he’d have a hardened father who can’t smile and can’t sleep that is tangible and be full of resentment. She knew that from experience.

That was enough to make her set the card down. She might be overstepping, she probably was, and he might just drink the coffee and toss the card in the garbage can (she knew he wouldn’t) but she had to try. Derek was still trying, still absorbing a lot of the work load, anything he could without stepping on Hotch’s toes but everyone else had gone back to business as usual. She couldn’t leave Derek to shoulder this burden on his own, she had to try to help.

She was in a meeting with Strauss and Garcia when he finally made his way to his office. The coffee, once piping hot, was cold and he stared at it long and hard for a minute in disbelief. It had already been a hellscape of a morning, putting out fires left and right...most of which weren’t even his fires...and the sight of the coffee there almost pushed him over some inexplicable ledge. He sat on the couch, but it looked and felt a lot more like falling, like collapsing, like his legs simply giving out.

If the coffee came close, the card did the real pushing.

“Hotch,

When I had Henry, everyone made jokes about finally really knowing what it was like to need coffee...well they weren’t kidding. I know Jack isn’t a newborn, but I have a feeling the sentiment will ring true still. So here’s to coffee, huh?

From one caffeine addict to another, if you ever need help with Jack, call anytime. Henry could use a big brother to show him the ropes.

JJ”

The tone of the card was light, casual, but the sincerity in it made his chest ache. The likelihood of him asking JJ to babysit Jack for him was slim, he thought she knew that when she wrote it, but all the same he was touched by the sentiment. And the coffee, once reheated, was exactly what he needed to pick himself up and finish the day on his own two feet. (Before collapsing into bed as soon as Jack was asleep only to toss and turn all night long again and again and again and again. Only to finally crawl out of bed at 3am after sleeping in rough ten minute intervals all night, dragging himself to his messy home office and watching the sun slowly creep through his closed blinds with tired eyes and piles of paperwork as high as his knees.)

When he did finally call JJ for help, he’d been at the sleepless night thing for three months and things were starting to feel filmy and unreal. He was at the end of his rope. Derek had been his lifeline in many ways, absorbing the work load when it got to be too much, but he didn’t know the first thing about kids so Hotch couldn’t ask him to babysit. It would be a disaster. Then he remembered JJ’s card, and it felt like his last line of defense. A hail mary. “Could you watch Jack for me for an hour or two?”

“You have a date?” she asked with a cheeky smile, pushing a spoonful of mashed potato into Henry’s waiting little mouth while holding the phone between her shoulder and her ear. Hotch let out the saddest laugh she thought she’d ever heard.

“Not exactly. I was hoping to try to take a nap.”

“Ahhh, yes. I hear you. If I didn’t have Will forcing me to take naps during the day…” she paused, biting into her lip. The queen of foot in mouth has done it again, she thought. “Well. Just give me a time and I’ll be there.”

He made a pot of coffee and showed her around, giving her the lay of the land like she’d never been inside before. Like she hadn’t gone in after Foyet, gone in with Derek and Emily and Dave, ducked beneath crime scene tape to check the place out, look through his intimate things. But it was different now, there was life here. Jack’s things were brightly colored and littered the place with tiny happy bombs. An Iron Man blanket laid on the couch, a splash of bright crimson against the dull grayish brown. Legos were in the carpet, crayons all over the table with play doh crumbs and the remnants of the toast Jack was still insisting he wasn’t done with from breakfast. “I’m sorry I haven’t picked up,” he muttered, and she laughed.

“Hotch, it’s fine. This is pretty clean for someone with a kid that age. Really.”

He glanced around and shrugged, shame clawing at him in spite of her words. He should have done more to pick the place up. It really was the least he could have done, she wasn’t even accepting money from him for her time.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asked finally, glancing at Henry teetering on chubby little legs, brand new at the whole walking thing. He was invested in whatever it was that Jack was playing, he just had to get there first and that was slow going as a newly bipedal creature. Hotch glanced around and saw all of the choking hazards, the glass, the outlets not covered, the corners to bang his head on and the kitchen drawers easily opened to danger and death. His apartment wasn’t baby proofed because he never had Jack here at that age. He hadn’t thought this through. Not only that, but he noticed that Jack still had bright purple and green marker on his chin and forearms, remnants of his unsupervised tattoo session while Hotch was shaving one room away. He thought he'd gotten all of it washed off.

“Hotch...it’s okay. I’m going to sit here with them and they’ll play and that’s it. Maybe we’ll read a few stories, color a picture, rob a bank if we get really bored…”

“Thank you JJ.”

“ Wow. Not even a laugh huh?”

He smiled weakly. “I’m sorry. I haven’t really been sleeping.” Like that should explain it all. Judging by the look she gave him, it might have. The look on her face was compassionate, but he detected a little pity there too. He figured he deserved it. If he looked in the mirror he’d give himself the same pitying look.

"Do you need a bed time story?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. His eyes went wide for a moment, his features finally giving way to a tired smile. A real one, unprovoked.

"No. Thank you though. Really."

"Alright then, go. I’ll try to keep them quiet. Thank you for the coffee. Get some sleep Hotch.”

[darklinaforever]

"The canonically purist blood woman" girl where? the blood purists are daemon and rhaenyra. the targtowers and hightowers are not "pureblood targs" as you TB LOVE to remind us.

alicent never gave a sh*t about house targ, blood purity or any of that bs. that's team black. book!alicent wanted the throne and power - and never gave a f*ck about rhaenyra. and why should she? y'all just hate alicent because she's advocating for herself and her children instead of your lame favs.

but sure, keep defending your racist qween - we'll just keep calling you out on your bs.

Alicent has never been primarily interested in the safety of its children. Otherwise she would never have prepared a coup d'état to usurp the legitimate heir, putting them all in mortal danger, or even ask her last descendant to try to assassinate Aegon III.

She literally harassed Rhaenyra since she was little to try to take her down, simply because she was the heir. An adult woman against a child.

She literally told Rhaenyra that her children were nothing more than the blood of unimportant bastards shed in war... All while trying to negotiate the survival of her own children whom she considered superior ! How stupid do you have to be ?!

That's just for the book.

Just caring about bastards is a ridiculous issue of blood purity. Which Team Blacks never actually had (and no, contrary to what a lot of people say, Daemon had nothing against the Velaryon boys). But obviously, Alicent is not a blood purist, even if she cares about the so-called bastards... Not to mention Aemond openly spewing his hatred for bastards. But the Hightowers don't care about blood purity, obviously... Let me laugh.

A little consistency.

And in the show's version, his remarks about Rhaenyra's children are more than revealing on this subject. She compares them to animals and simple beings for not coming from marriage. For not being what she judges to be true Targaryens, because she doesn't understand that their eggs hatched. She literally married off her two children to reinforce / give more weight to her son's so-called baseless legitimization, while she criticized Rhaenyra a few episodes before for having had an affair with Daemon. A hypocrite who did not hesitate to use Targaryen traditions when it benefited her. But anyway...

Yes, the Alicent of the book is ambitious and power hungry above all else. That's the only thing I like about her.

But stop pretending that she was worried about the safety of her children or her children at all. If that had been the case, she wouldn't have done everything I mentioned above.

And don't come and tell me the excuse that his children were in danger and that it was his only option because that's bullshit.

Anyway, I'm going to stop responding to the demands of the antis. I'm tired of you harassing me since yesterday. It's almost the new year, go find other things to do.

[nikethestatue]

Just seen a post that absolutely SENT me. “Dagger and the fawn or fox and the fawn” and it was tagged pro GA anti elriel ewriel pro Lucien whatever nonsense

And I’m just like??? Do people not READ?

SJM wrote it herself: DEATH AND THE LOVELY FAWN

Fire lord and bird of flame.

Things she did NOT say:

Squealing priestess and silent spymaster

pirate and flower

IS THIS A JOKE?? I swear to god every day I am losing it with these people? Like it is genuinely frustrating to deal with them because they just spread misinformation and don’t even read any other book than the bonus chapter (also wtf how are they just having such an online presence when not even reading the books??)

You can’t even tell them they are wrong because that’s “bullying” and telling them what’s canon and what’s not is “don’t comment if you know this content isn’t for you it’s sick” like huh??

I don’t care if your blog is “gwynselfinsert”, if you sit here and post that Gwyn is perfect for Az because she is going to save Illyria and his shadows protect her and she will do freaky sex stuff with azriel… IM GOING TO TELL YOU THATS INSANE??

Like I saw a post that said Gwyn was gonna tie up azriel w the ribbon and they were gonna f*ck and I was just like HUH?? The ribbon that represents her overcoming her trauma?? She gonna do what with that??

This has to be a social experiment. Honestly. Because how the hell are these people claiming they have 16 books of evidence (I don’t even know what that means) when Gwyn is BARELY in one book. Like are they really using throne of glass books as canon evidence for GWYNRIEL??

Is that not batshit crazy?? That’s like if I saw vlog of a celebrity TikTok and decided - omg I have the exact same napkin from the chinese takeout place they went to!! I MUST BE DESTINED FOR FAME TOO

I am going crazy can Sarah please put an end to this madness

That's why, whenever anyone asks me at this point 'have you heard of (insert crazy Gwynriel theory)?" I PROBABLY have, but I pay them exactly zero attention. I don't engage either. Because this whole thing has jumped the shark so badly that there is no coming back from it.

The disconnect between their fantasies and reality is entirely too great. It can't be bridged at this point.

We just have to sit back, wait for the next book to come and hope it will end the mind boggling insanity that is this fandom.

It's embarrassing. Can't even tell RL people that I read and like SJM. because I dont want them to look into this and then ask me, are you okay?

[pickypickypeak]

The Arthurian legends are more like their own thing than fairy tales because there's like a difference people didn't notice that bothers me.

Peter Pan, Alice and Oz are more like childrens' books than fairy tales and lumping in them with the actual fairy tales written and collected by authors centuries before they were published is just wrong.

It's kind of like lumping a popular pop song, a nursery rhyme and a Disney broadway song together, it's just not right.

I totally agree, descendants was never about “fairytales” it was specifically bringing disney movie universes together (badly lol). Alice in wonderland is very far from a fairytale lol, just ask an average person to tell you alice’s tale, they won’t be able to.

(I’ll took a chance and rant about morgie again)

That’s why bringing a character from the arthurian legends feels so random and out of place! Like seriously did the producers have beef with madam mim or something. Not to mention morgie feels very uninspired as a character, not that the other villains were amazingly written but at least their aesthetic was on point. Morgie doesn’t have a disney counterpart so they didn’t even know how to dress him, because how can he match morgan le fay if she doesn’t exist in disney canon??

Don’t get me started on his lyrics. “Serpentine” wtf. Of course the lyricists were like what the f*ck is this guy supposed to say. And then same with uliana’s song. Everyone suggests something related to their disney background and morgie’s just like, *repeats what hades said*

[agentrouka-blog]

If Sansa is as irrelevant to ASOIAF as antis claim her to be then why do they spend their time and energy coming to Sansa or jonsa blogs?. They pay more attention to her than we do sometimes. Don’t they have metas to write about how their favs are gonna f*ck at the ass of the world and make a magic baby or something?

Sansa was beaten every time Robb had a victory. She has bled for the North, being bruised for the North, abused for the North. She’s the only character in canon seen rebuilding Winterfell. But sure, she’s gonna stay at the Vale forever or shackled to a woman killer. 🙄

Sansa Queen in the North is even more likely to happen than Jonsa and antis are just in denial.

It really comes down to if people (and this would probably include a few Sansa enjoyers who don't hate her) think that she is a proper main character with a proper arc and a proper thematic conclusion of her own.

If so, this conclusion likely isn't going to exhaust itself in romantic entanglements with another main character, or in achieving a political role she would have either always been capable of achieving (queen consort, another lord's lady) - or one she has been associated with inheriting since the third book at least (Lady of Winterfell). Sansa's role was always political as well - and her lack of agency even at the hands of her own family has been a big theme, being traded, dismissed or skipped over to the point of stupidity by her father and brother, not just her enemies.

She was never so flawed that simply "improving herself" could form the point of her arc. She is not a Jane Austen heroine, she has been at the heart of highest level politics from her introduction when a king asked for her hand in marriage for his heir. Conspiracy, negotiation, war. Her body is a vessel of politics.

The queenship foreshadowing is there for a reason. The strong association between her body, her wolf's body, and Winterfell, is there for a reason. Questions of credible queenship in the book series are there for a reason.

[zexal-club]

Zexal Club info - Mr. Heartland sucks

Yep, it's time we talked about this. Credit to @yukii0nna for being the one to give me these ideas.

For those who don't know or need a reminder, Mr. Heartland from Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal is the mayor of Heartland City, which is where the main cast of the anime lives. He's also one of the villains. The dude was already a jerk in canon, but in Zexal Club, he's even worse.

For insight on the $hit he's done in canon, watch the anime or Google it. As for the additional $hit he's done in this AU, well, that's what this post is for.

Sit back, relax, and prepare to hate this man more than you probably already do!

First and foremost, he's a blatant racist towards Magi (what magical beings are called in this AU), seeing them as 'abominations'

Witches get the worst of it

Framed @yukii0nna's OC Suga Hiragi's father for a crime he committed

Took advantage of Nistro and Dextra's (or Gauche and Droite if you prefer the sub) magi-related trauma to convince them that all magi are evil, cruel, and heartless

Regularly insulted Kite and Hart's mother for being a witch

Probably spread anti-magi propaganda throughout the city

Here's an actual quote for him that Yukii came up with:

"Aww, magi. Beings with the ability to harvest magic to a grand scale. Powerful, uncontrollable animals that need to be back in a book of hellish lore. All of them are monsters, but personally, witches are the worst for me. Being that act on pure malice and chaos. Maybe it would be wise to burn them all where they stand and be done with them."

If that doesn't make it obvious how messed up he is, I don't know what will.

So yeah, all in all, this man is a total d/ck, both in canon and in this fic, and you should hate him.

F/ck you, Mr. Heartland!!! F/CK YOU!!!!!!!!

@yukii0nna @fair-night-starry-tears @bakawitch @bibookdemon @kousaka-ayumu @lovelyllamasblog

[sammyam12345678]

Elsabela: Perfect Song

CW: Drugs, Ice, Lana Del Rey, Plants

Good morning, afternoon, or evening to anyone reading my post! Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post.

While I was doing my homework, I was listening to Lana Del Rey. I would not consider myself a Lana stan, but I do enjoy quite a few of her songs, especially ones from her Ultraviolence album.

While I was listening to Lana Del Rey's 2014 song "Brooklyn Baby", I thought that it would be the perfect song for an Elsabela fanfiction. For textual evidence, I have quoted some lyrics below:

First, "They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies"

Both Elsa and Isabela wear costumes inspired by 1970s fashion movement, specifically punk and boho.

In addition, both of them crave freedom and self-expression.

Next, "I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice, I freeze"

Yes, I am stating the obvious.

Third, "They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read"

As they sing about in "Let it Go", "Show Yourself", and "What Else Can I Do", people have seen them solely as beautiful, perfect "proper ladies", when they are actually more than perfect princesses.

Fourth, "But I'm free, ooh-ooh I'm free"

Similar to my third point, both ladies crave freedom.

Fifth, "I'm talking about my generation Talking about that newer nation"

Both of them at least influence major social change in their respective hometowns.

Sixth, "And if you don't like it, you can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it 'Cause I don't have to f*ck*n' explain it"

While I don't think either of them would be that rude to someone, they both have dealt with people, especially parents/grandparents not understanding them or allowing them to express their true selves.

Second to last, "I've got [flowers] in my hair I get h*gh on hydroponic w**d"

After "What Else Can I Do", Isabela realizes that she can make more than decorative flowers, likely including "medicinal herbs". In addition, I am sure she is interested in learning new gardening techniques.

Last, "Yeah, my [girl]friend's pretty cool But [she]'s not as cool as me"(Lana Del Rey, Barrie-James O'Neill)

They are both cool ladies, especially in the eyes of their younger sisters.

Ironically, according to Matthew Jacobs for Huffington Post, Lana Del Rey's song "Brooklyn Baby" is a piece of satire about 2010s-era New York City hipsters and hipster culture. (Jacobs). To state the obvious, Isabela and Elsa are not 2010s-era NYC hipsters, at least in canon and the majority of fanfictions, as their stories are set in small towns in the 19th/20th century, and they are not pretentious or elitist about their personal tastes, which people think of hipsters being.

Overall, the song encapsulates their relationship and personal lives well.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post. Have a good day or night!

[juleshollow]

Kaneeka criticism

I like Kaneeka a lot. She's one of the characters I relate to the most because of her rationality and the way she deals with family issues (also, anime <3). She's honest, intelligent and kind. And she's got a very cool style.

However, Kaneeka has two specific moments that made me clash with her. To be fair, they were both very stressful situations in which it makes sense not to be at your best. But I haven't seen anyone talking about them, so here goes:

The first one isn't that bad, I was just annoyed.

In Episode 2, I called Tabitha before going into the mines, without waiting for her. When I caught up to Kaneeka and Stella I told them the truth, and Kaneeka did not like me calling my cousin at all.

Here's the thing: of course I called my cousin. We were about to get into an abandoned coal mine that we suspected might collapse. It's only natural I'd tell someone outside in case something bad happened and we needed rescue! And I literally have the phone number of three people in this town, two of which were going to be in the mine with me. Maybe I've seen too many caving disaster videos, but I am terrified of mines and caves. I fully understood Kaneeka's panic, I couldn't wait to get out (I love Zane but when he slapped that beam I could have punched him). Because of how responsible Kaneeka is, it shocked me that she didn't see it was the safest thing to do. I would have loved to have the option to justify myself when she berated me, because I thought she would be on my side on this.

The second one is the real issue. I find it a character defining moment, and I don't like the person that Kaneeka becomes.

I didn't experience this scene until I did a replay with different traits, so I had no problem with Kaneeka in my canon run. In Episode 3, if you don't have Book Smart you have to choose between leaving the ghost in the library or sacrificing years of your life or your cousin's. In no way I would make that sacrifice for a house, so I got out of there with Tabitha. F*ck that ghost. Then Kaneeka took it badly.

Well, this is obviously not okay.

I thought Kaneeka would be compassionate enough to reassure us that no one should have taken such an unfair deal, even if she didn't like Tabitha. But she'd rather have Tabitha lose part of her life and live in constant fear than have Oscar move. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Kaneeka is right about the strike, Tabitha isn't doing what's right for her workers and the town (she tries, but fails). But that only means that she should change the way she runs the business, not that she should sacrifice her years for a ghost!

Also, what "rewards" is Tabitha actually reaping? The whole town knows that she lives in a decrepit house and she's obviously not rich. I mean, she's a bad boss, but she's not that privileged is she? They even know how terrible Pearlanne was. Does no one even suspect that Tabitha might have been abused? Did Stella never tell Kaneeka about her girlfriend's life conditions? Kaneeka's hate in this scene doesn't make sense to me.

I just think that Kaneeka's principles change when it comes to Tabitha. Kaneeka is caring and just, but if Tabitha is involved she even becomes irrational in order to be mean to her.