#Except the 3-4 safe people in my life naturally

[thorntopieces]

I never want to see and talk to another human being again

[a-confused-spoon]

Jinx's haircut: how Powder and Ekko's story comes full circle

Hi! So, it appears Jinx will be cutting her hair short in season 2 (which is cool as fuck), and I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion on it, so I wanted to share my two cents 😊

I might refer to Jinx and Powder as if they are different ideantities, but I'm aware that's not how that works; it's just an easier way to express myself. Also english isn't my first language, so apologies for any possible wiritng mistake (this is a bit of a mess 😅)

* deep breath in *

As it has already been pointed out, this choice must have a deeper reason other than esthetic (I've been seeing the phrase "hair holds memories" used a lot), and what's even more interesting is that her new look resembles a lot how she used to look like as a kid; a bit bizarre, given how the entirety of season 1 showed us how Powder and Jinx's coexistence only brings the girl pain. As a matter of fact, the finale makes it clear to us that even she sees these two sides of herself as mutually exclusive.

So why and how exactly would this happen now?

What I keep going back to is the idea that maybe, just maybe, this has to do with her possibly "taking the lead" in Zaun; whether she actively becomes a leader or if she just "leads by example" (therefore passively), it doesn't change the fact that for better or worse she will be depicted as a leading revolutionary figure.

And fair enough: she singlehandedly killed half of the Council, the people who hold decisional power and have contributed to the misery on the other side of the river. After Vender's failed attempt on the bridge and Silco's focus on his own business dealings with Piltover among everything else he did, Jinx's attack on the city - something she does to ultimately solidify her identity as Jinx - opens a door that the Undercity was waiting to be opened for decades.

Here's the thing:

Being Jinx doesn't just mean acting on unbridled rage and being a menace to society; it means being feared by most, if not all, with the only possible exceptions being those who also accepted their inner monster. To put it in Singed's words, "If you take this path, they will despise you".

Being Jinx fundamentally implies loneliness.

Silco was consistently reminding her this: "I am your family; everyone else betrays us" / "Everyone betrays us Jinx! Vander! Her! They will never understand, it's only us".

In the official clip 'Enemy of my enemy' we find out that he only saw her cry twice, the two scenes we also witness as an audience, meaning he didn't see her cry once during the timeskip, and I'm sure it's safe to say that she most definitely did cry a lot given how she goes from episode 3 Powder (scared, couldn't grasp the concept of killing someone, heartbroken by the nickname jinx) to episode 4 Powder (a beast, kills in cold blood, has taken Jinx as her actual name)... it must've been an ugly transition, and it definitely didn't happen overnight; if Silco, who was the closest person she had all that time, didn't see it, then I think it speaks a lot on how alone Jinx really was in her darkest times.

For all the love he had for her, he reinforced this idea of isolation as an unescapable consequence of the right path, and I think this is also reflected in the lair that (supposedly) he found for her, especially when you compare it to the Firelights’ one:

The Firelights (this is important for later) are all about community and sharing joy as well as struggle and pain; they live in a place of healing, filled with life, without a roof so the sunlight can reach them during the day, and at nights living bugs that shine a light of their own fill up the hideout.

Jinx's place is diametrically opposed to this: it’s dark and looks cold, it's completely made of metal, the roof’s blocking any natural light and it hangs above an abyss with no bottom to be seen; the only company she consistently has are the puppets of her dead brothers and the only living thing that knows his way in is the only one that can understand, the only one she can rely on - aka Silco himself.

However, as Jinx herself knows, this may have worked for him, but it wasn't working for her for the longest time: she never stopped yearning for affection, love, friendship- that part of her never really went away; it was only being suppressed, suffocated, maybe unintentionally, and I strongly believe that it only worsen her trauma, and it's one of the things that made her spiral so bad into her depression, to the point of hallucinating.

I think that Silco's line in the baptism scene is particularly relevant here: "You need to let Powder die, so the fear of pain will no longer control you", where the fear of pain would refer to the fear of being on her own, of always failing and disappointing others, of being weak and never satisfying the desires, expectations, hopes that Powder carried within her to be “a valuable member of the team”.

If she lets Powder die (which again, she does in the final episode of season 1), this is no longer a problem: if she doesn't do teams, because teams don't want a jinx to begin with, that fear can't get to her; if she's a solo player, a self-sufficient loose cannon, she won't need to rely on anyone but herself because she's strong on her own and does not need the support of others.

If her power lays in the monster she is, the one everyone condemns her for being, then that childhood wish of hers just isn't a realistic option.

...but then this happens.

We know from the teaser trailer that in the operation Caitlyn's leading, 'finding Jinx' and 'neutralize any agent still loyal to Silco' are separate objectives. Which makes sense, since as far as they know Silco was the leader of a group of people, and now that he's gone Jinx is an individual under her own agency and her own agency alone. If initially she fights by herself, for herself because she can and fuck Piltover, then it all falls in line with what I stated so far.

But then we hear Sevika, who has hated Jinx's guts and who Jinx has hated back since day one, telling her to get the people together, to unite the Undercity as one because she can do that. Mind you, the girl has lived in Zaun all her life, she knows damn well that the end of Piltover is something the entire Undercity has been waiting for (“Imagine what the whole of the Lances could do!” from episode 2); yet despite this she needs to be openly told what is going on, that she’s not sizing the opportunity she’s created. She isn't, cause... her? Leading? A group of people? No. Not after the last time she tried to help, and most importantly, not after everything she learned under Silco.

Jinx can't fathom the idea of herself as a part of a part of a team. How can she? She literally just came to terms with isolation as ever present- and now, for some reason, the people of the city, who always either ran away from her or wanted her gone, are dying their hair blue in her image, trusting her, following her, painting murals of her as the bringer of revolution.

She isn't taking power forcibly like Silco did; she's just doing her thing, her Jinx thing, and Zaun, on its own, is choosing her as the leading figure.

Imagine how frustrating it must be for Jinx to look back and realize that Silco, her father- who has loved her, forgiven her, raised her, called her perfect, defended her, was there for her, saved her, guided her- was wrong, and put her in a condition of never ending existential pain when she could’ve had it differently the entire time; imagine how confusing it must be for her to look back and realize that it never mattered whether or not others understood her, 'cause she wasn't as unlovable or unforgivable as she thought herself to be in the first place, that Silco and Vi were never her only options.

Imagine how painful it must be for her to look back and realize that for all this time she could’ve had friends and be accepted and be trusted and rely on others because she never HAD to be alone.

...keeping this in mind, let's talk about Ekko and the missing flashback from episode 7 for a moment.

Admittedly we don’t have a lot of information, other than it took place not too long after the events of episode 3 (then again, to be fair, we don’t know a lot about their relationship as enemies as well: it’s all between the lines; I surely have my own opinions of how they feel about each other being on the enemy side, but I don’t believe it’s super relevant here). What’s for sure about this flashback is that it was a defining moment in both Ekko and Powder’s journey, especially for the latter. Someone surely died, and it 100% was Powder’s fault. It could be both the result of her very first crisis or her first intentional murder; in both cases it results in her deciding for herself to align with Silco as opposed to her best friend.

The way I like to see it is that, since the trauma was still very fresh, she might have been too scared of the idea of fighting alongside others after what happened last time, and she pushed herself to kill someone on purpose just to push Ekko away and prove a point (Silco’s point). I love the idea of the tragic irony of Ekko being the one person Powder managed to really save, and Powder being the one person Ekko couldn’t.

Personal headcanons aside though, the last part is the most important one here: Ekko couldn’t save Powder from Silco, and by extension everything he represents.

I’d like to point out that one of the most tragic aspects of the two becoming enemies (to me) is that, throughout those years, they reciprocally were the only living person the other shared a past with (well, Vi too, but she was in prison the entire time).

Silco not only takes over by force, he also marks as his all the places of said past: the Last Drop, Vi and Powder’s house… one line that always stuck with me from episode 7 is when Ekko tells Vi “All that’s left is Jinx, and she belongs to Silco”.

Not with Silco; to Silco. As if she too a piece of the past he turned into his property.

It’s like he understands that while yes, Powder made the decision by herself, that she wants to stay with Silco, he also knows that the man is the one to blame for... well, all of it; the kid was there when Silco showed up unprovoked at Benzo’s place, he knows things went downhill from there.

Ekko knows that he is the bigger problem and the bigger enemy. Even Vi, without knowing a thing about the past few years, can tell Silco put some shit into her sister’s head; Ekko can probably guess the same, difference being that Ekko has the responsibility of keeping other people safe, and he can’t risk it all for someone that, while possibly manipulated, ultimately isn’t collaborative. Ekko can’t jeopardize all he’s built and done for his former best friend, no matter how much it hurts him to be her enemy.

Back to season 2.

Like the entire fandom has already pointed out, there’s a 99.9% chance there will be an alliance between them and Jinx, especially when looking at Ekko’s new outfit.

Of course, this will not be immediate: my guess is that while Jinx works alone at the very start Ekko will be with Heimerdinger and following the arrest of the Firelights we see in the trailer maybe there’s a split. And even after Jinx takes charge so to speak, and possibly frees them, among others, from Stillwater, it’s possible there will be (and there should be) stages in the alliance: initial distrust, potential fight within the community- like yeah, let’s not forget what Jinx did to these people.

Even if they do go ahead with it, it is probably out of necessity more than anything else, with not one but two military forces against the whole of the Underground. It’s not like they’d be the most ecstatic faction about it, and the same goes for Ekko, which is why the new look will probably come in later.

But exactly like he could see Powder for a brief second on the bridge clearly enough for him to stop himself from beating her, he will, most definitely, see her again through Jinx's inner turmoil... that, and she also can’t keep her shit together when it comes to what she's feeling, the girl really is an open book.

And yeah, the situation would be pretty emotionally disorienting: she's being as Jinx as ever, but people like her now, which is something she used to want as Powder, who is supposed to be dead, and they're willingly following her like they willingly followed Vander and there's murals of her with him, though she's pursuing what aligns more with Silco's dream, but also turns out Silco was wrong about Powder, who might still be alive deep down- the whole thing is a big big mess.

Despite everything that I said about him, it’s not like Jinx would start to resent Silco. She could never, not after his last words to her. They mean the world to her, he means too much to her, and let’s not forget she probably hear his voice now too, along Mylo’s and Claggor’s; it might even be a calming voice to her, one she’s happy to hear even if she knows he’s not real… which makes it all worse and more painful to deal with.

In this scene from the trailer, it seems like Ekko’s talking to her (some have pointed out the blue hair out of focus). Since this is still the look in season, at this point in time Ekko (and the rest of the Firelights) are not truly committed to this alliance with Jinx, and vice versa, Jinx is still figuring out how to deal with all this unexpected appreciation.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Jinx’s way of dealing with inner conflicts, especially ones that deal with the memories of the past, is that it often leads to disaster. This is a bit of a long shot, but what if the reason Ekko’s so beat up Is because she unintentionally sabotaged one of their own attacks on Piltover? Or perhaps they were caught up in a tough situation because of something she did or didn’t do? My point is that if he really is talking with her while in this condition, she probably is in a similar one.

Regardless, they are on the same side, and they are having a conversation. This is very likely the first time they reach out for each other since the day she chose to not go with him.

And I think it’s believable that of all the people she now has beside her, she’d talk to Ekko: he has this leader stuff already figured out. He has and still is taking care of people and keeping them safe better than she ever will, and on top of that, he still is the only one in Zaun (again, aside from Vi) who has known her since before she was Jinx, and he spared her on the bridge. He’s the perfect person to open up to.

And, get this, not only Ekko understands the pressure of taking the lead: he knows what it means to look back at someone you were fond of and feeling the pain of being wronged by them. He knows what it’s like to look back at old memories of someone you trusted and wonder if all those moments together really were what you thought they were, he knows what it’s like to wish it could all go back like it was, just so that candid version of them you have in your mind can still be true, present and untainted by the ugliness that now ruins all those precious moments.

He knows, 'cause he went through it with her... and now he can finally reach her.

Ekko may have not been able to save her from Silco then, but he can save her from Silco now.

And since he has built a community that grieved together, went through pain and joy together, he simply does what he’s always done with the Firelights. Sharing.

He tells with her what has worked for him: “Sometimes, taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind”- in the Franch dub he says “leaving a part of oneself behind”- meaning it doesn’t have to be all or nothing: she has the power to choose what to kiss goodbye and what can stay…

…and then she cuts her hair.

I think it’s important to note how these two moments are very similar in setting. I kid you not, the first time I watched the trailer I was convinced this was a scene where Jinx was burning Silco’s body after she killed him- which frankly could still be the case. I’ve also seen discussions being made for the little girl we see in the trailer being burned here, or Sevika, but I don’t think it’s either. Jinx is completely desensitized to death, even when Silco died her makeup isn’t this ruined. My guess is that this is something much deeper:

Jinx never properly grieved the past. Ever. So, maybe, she’s burning the part of herself she’s leaving behind. The hair she cut.

The hair Silco used to braid for her.

These two scenes parallel each other because “nothing ever stays dead”, but Silco must stay dead, for her own sake. For her own happiness: she is leaving him behind for good.

Only after this moment we get the new look for Ekko: he can work with this new Jinx, the one that now knows she can work within a team, even to the point of committing to the outfit (lol).

If in season 1 Jinx accepted her identity as it was defined by Silco, in season 2 she's re-inventing it under her own conditions: she gets to choose what "being Jinx" may or may not include. And it will always include a little bit of Powder.

Thanks for reading! 💚💙

[brainlessrot]

Ranking NRC dorms on how much I would trust and like their cooking -

fair warning: I've skipped like most culinary croucible events and forgot 90% of the ones i played, so this is all based on my subjective reading of their vibes and the limited canon knowledge i could gather in my brain

Contents: As the title says +individual characters ranked

Characters: All dorms + students and teachers

1. Scarabia

do i even need to explain this one??

One of the first episodes in their chapter was literally cooking with jamil

I LOVE middle eastern food. give me hummus and some pita bread and im set for life.

Pre scarabia arc jamil would be a dangerous choice, but post chapter? im gonna be knocking on his door with bribes so that he gives me any extra food he made 🙏

not kalim tho, yall stay safe

(also wrote this while at Agrabah's cafe in disney land, so my opinion might be skewed)

Continues under this cut!!

2. Octavinelle

Mans whole bussiness is food

if im paying for it i better be getting something good

but would NEVER try to ask any of them to cook for me (for free obv) bc i dont think that would end well (for me)

Jade?? mixing mushrooms he found somewhere

Floyd? forgets and goes somewhere, now the kitchen is burnt

Azul? nuh huh 💀 i aint seeling my soul for some toast

theyre like, Norwegian/italian i think?? and idk much about Norwegian cuisine but like italian is soooo good 🤞

3. Heartslabyul

Only for the sweets (i might not trust trey but i have a sweet tooth)

I dont mind tea, but they better not bring out their British cuisine out

If i see any fish n chips im evaporating from that table (lies, free food is free food)

i wanna go to an unbirthday party 😔

riddle would cook something too healthy and would count my calorie intake 💀

ace or deuce? id better be getting ready to get intoxication

cater... i just dont see him cooking

4. Pomefiore

listen... theyre mostly rich pampered boys, so would they even be cooking?

i dont trust the source of Rook's food

epel would only give me apple based foods (tasty, but gets boring after a while)

Vil would probably give me those weird natural green smoothies AND I DONT WANT THAT 🤬

+ i dont like french people (jk)

5. Ighnihyde

listen

HEAR ME OUT

ik theyre all nerds and all they eat is instant ramen

BUT GREEK FOOD.

all for that greek yogurt 😩

idia doesn't know how to cook except for instant foods which i dont mind (he gets favourite character treatment)

ortho,,, questionable. He has access to the internet (aka infinite recipes) but would it taste good? hes like 10

6. Savanaclaw

sweaty men.

i should just leave it at that ngl

leona? rich ahh man (a GROWN man at that!! 20 whole years of age!!!) and he probably doesn't even know how to fry an egg

ruggie? no way he gives me anything good for free 😭

Jack is the only one i would trust, but man probably also drinks protein shakes and those sad chicken breast and rice meals.

7. Diasomnia

no thank you

i like my soul staying where it is.

i dont trust their magical food

lillia is not even my last choice if im ever hungry, he aint a choice AT ALL

Malleus... he probably doesn't know how to physically cook?? sure he can bibidi babidi boop me some food like the giant fairy godmother he is, but i want something real man 😔

Sebek... protein shake man...

Silver MUST know how to cook (living with lillia would be imposible if not) so if i HAD to, I would go to him, but i dont want him to fall asleep and faceplant on my food 😭

+ Characters Ranked in tiers! (students and teachers)

The best, five star Michelin food:

Jamil, Trey, Trein

You could be happy eating:

Vil, Epel, Floyd, Silver, Azul, Ruggie, Crewel

Its food:

Jack, Cater, idia (if making instant ramen) Ortho, Sam

its... food?:

Rook (seriously, where did he get that?), Jade, Ace, Deuce, Malleus (the food is uncorporeal), Sebek, Vargas

dubious taste, would rather not:

Riddle, Kalim, Leona (its just a slab of uncooked meat), Idia (if trying to cook real food)

call 911 BEFORE eating please:

Lillia, Grim, Crowley

[monstersdownthepath]

Homebrew Horror: Steraba

(Art source: Thistledown Players, from the MTG set Bloomburrow)

The tiny mouse-like Fey first mentioned here are known as Steraba, a type of House Spirit that forms a bond with a family of mice living among humanity.

The lore block in the linked post is more or less everything I've got on them, so I won't repeat myself here, but there are a few exceptions: namely, that they're most dangerous with their tiny bows, crafted from common household objects. They use slivers of barbed metal or splintering wood for their arrows which, despite their appearance, fire with high accuracy and leave painful and discouraging wounds. Painful, but not lethal, as Steraba will never kill anything but rats (whom they can always deal lethal damage to via Ratbane).

Also, figuring out how their Mouse Meal worked was a mechanical nightmare in my original draft and I'll spare you from looking at it. I eventually settled on a much simpler option.

House Spirit, Steraba CR 2 Neutral Good Diminutive Fey Init: +3; Senses: low-light vision, scent; Perception +9 ------ Defense ------ AC 17, touch 17, flat-footed 14 (+3 Dex, +4 size) HP 20 (4d6+4) Fort +2 Ref +7 Will +6 (+4 versus disease) DR 3/Cold Iron; SR 11 ------ Offense ------ Speed 20ft, burrow 5ft, climb 10ft, swim 5ft Melee Needle rapier +5 (1 nonlethal), bite +5 (1 nonlethal) Ranged Shortbow +5 (1d2 nonlethal) Special Attacks Ratbane Spell-like Abilities (CL 4th; Concentration +5) At-will--Mage Hand, Prestidigitation 1/day--Mouse Meal (see below) ------ Statistics ------ Str 2 Dex 16 Con 12 Int 10 Wis 15 Cha 13 Base Atk: +2; CMB -6; CMD 7 Feats Go Unnoticed, Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +10, Climb +9, Craft (any one) +5, Escape Artist +8, Knowledge (Local) +5, Knowledge (Nature) +5, Perception +9, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +22, Swim +8 Languages Common, Sylvan SQ Compression, Fey Gift, Mouse Empathy (+5) ------ Ecology ------ Environment Any land Organization Solitary, pair, or family (1~3 plus 5~20 mice) Treasure Incidental ------ Combat: Steraba are not combatants. They will flee any combat they accidentally enter, using their stealth to do so if they can. The sole exception is against rats, whom they will bravely stand and fight against, and when facing people who continuously harm or kill mice, whom they will pester from afar with tiny arrows, using their climb speed to find advantageous positions.

Morale: Steraba flee if they're brought below 10hp. If their family is in danger, the oldest Steraba will stand and fight defensively until the family is safe before fleeing themselves, but will give their life if they must. ------ Special Abilities ------

Fey Gift (Ex): Once per year, a Steraba can craft a good-luck charm out of random bits and bobs and gift it to another creature. This charm acts as a Stone of Good Luck, but it can be just about anything; usually a badge or a pin. This charm retains its supernatural power until the Steraba which crafted it dies or creates another charm, or until the wearer knowingly and willingly commits an evil act. The good luck charm works only for the creature it was initially gifted to.

Mouse Empathy (Ex): This ability acts as the Wild Empathy ability of a Ranger, except it only affects mice. Steraba gain a racial bonus to this check equal to their Hit Dice (typically +4). Mice and giant mice never attack a Steraba unless magically compelled to do so.

Mouse Meal (Sp): Mouse Meal acts as the spell Create Food and Water, except it requires specific material components: At least one seed, grain, or nut. Each component provided, up to the limit of the spell (up to 16), is magically transmuted into a loaf of bread or a bowl of porridge that sustains a single Medium creature for a day, along with a small amount of honey, sugar, or jam (any flavor). Any food created by this ability turns to bitter crumbs after 24 hours, and conjured water evaporates.

Ratbane (Ex): Steraba have the Favored Enemy +2 ability of a Ranger, but it only applies to rats and dire rats, as well as creatures which are rat-like, such as Ratlings and were-rats (though most Were-rats are far beyond their ability to harm).

[songhunter]

trans allegory in mystic fragrance and forbidden rain

aka: the essay no one asked for

Content warnings for: Discussions of homophobia and transphobia, and brief mentions of suicide.

If you guys have any other comments on this topic (especially KnightsPs, I'm an UNDEADP so I'm less familiar with their lore) please comment or rb or drop an ask or anything! I love talking. It's also been a hot minute (3 or 4 years) since I last took an English class so my analysis is a little rusty.

Part 1: UNDEAD's "Monster" and Queerness

Every UNDEAD song (with one exception) has the same premise — the singers are the impure, immoral monsters who are singing to a pure, human audience. There are two genres of UNDEAD song:

“I’m a monster seducing you into the darkness, give into your desires because I know that secretly you want it too” — Immoral World, Savage Love Affair, etc.

“I’m a monster and I’m so badass” — Darkness 4, Nightless World, etc.

Darkness 4 lyrics, translation by Shirayukin on Fandom wiki.

The “monster” in UNDEAD’s music is shorthand for anyone that exists outside of a pure society. By joining the monsters, you become tainted and can't return to society, but that’s the only way you can possibly live as your authentic self. In this way, the "darkness" is a safe space that these monsters have created for themselves.

This is, of course, a reference to Rei and how he feels ostracized from society -- the whole reason why Koga began UNDEAD was as a message to Rei that if Rei felt like a monster, he shouldn't roll over and die, but live with them as an undead. However, the concept of the queer monster is incredibly applicable imo. Historically, lots of villains in horror media were queer-coded as a way of eliciting disgust or a fear response, as a way of making its villain seem strange and, well, queer. (Oh, no! Look at all these horrible people ruining life for the law-abiding families!) The link between queerness and horror has been analyzed to death.

But queer people also love the misunderstood monster who's shunned by "proper" society. The gothic novels that originated the horror genre in the 1800s, like Dracula or the Picture of Dorian Grey, were written by queer authors and/or contained scores of queer themes. Do I need to go into why werewolves, shapeshifters who had to go deep into the woods to hide their wolf form, can be read as queer? Do I need to go into why Frankenstein, someone abandoned by his own creator and shunned by society by the nature of his existence alone (something out of his control), can be read as queer? Do I really need to go into why the modern-day vampire is queer? Vampires? Of course queer people will love these monsters, because they see themselves in the monsters, more so than the victims. (Also, nothing more in line with the queer experience than seeing a monster and going “ngl they're kinda hot actually.”)

In summary: It's very easy to read UNDEAD songs and UNDEAD's conceptualization of the "monster" through a queer lens. The monster is queer, and the monster welcomes you into the darkness and invites you to also give into your desire to live freely.

Immoral World lyrics, translation by Mandy on Fandom wiki.

Also, shout out the love you tried to hide, huh? Show me your truth? Show me your pride?

Dude.

Dude.

Sidenote: The one exception to this “monster” theme is of course the elephant in the room, Sustain Memories. I think it plays well into UNDEAD’s image — at least in !-era, Rei, Adonis, and Koga have always been the monsters, while Kaoru is the human that joined them (see: their Halloween costumes in !-era). So Kaoru doesn’t sing of monsters, he sings of a human love. There's also something to be said about Kaoru being the one member of UNDEAD who tried so desperately to appear cishet and experience a "normal" love in !-era. But also, it's a wedding song because the anime boys look cute when they sing about weddings.

Part 2: What about Forbidden Rain?

Here's the thing about UNDEAD's other monster songs -- they're always proud of being monsters. They're not ashamed, and they want the audience to join them in their freedom.

Forbidden Rain lyrics, translation by @/snaketaper on Twitter.

On the other hand, the singer in Forbidden Rain sees themselves as a "beast" who can never be forgiven, someone who's slowly poisoning their pure lover. They love them so much that they apparently have to let go of them, for their own sake. It's the first song that actually contains references to genuine love (usually UNDEAD is just horny).

The song remains sort of ambiguous about the nature of the relationship between the singer and the audience. It's clear that the audience does actually care for the singer, since they do reach out a "gentle hand" that the singer can't take. But the singer says, "Let's end this thing that never even began" -- are they even together in the first place? Maybe it never began because they were scared of the "beast." Or maybe it never truly began because the relationship was built on a lie. They sing about a beast inside them that they have to hide, and says that their current self -- the one they show to the audience -- is a fake. And this is something that cannot be forgiven.

It's not hard to read this in the context of queerness. Maybe it's about a gay singer who doesn't want to reveal their feelings and tarnish a platonic relationship. Or maybe it's a trans singer who's wracked with guilt at keeping their identity under wraps and hasn't come out to their heterosexual lover, so they want to break off things before they come out and taint their previous relationship.

In Love & Beast, the "source material" behind Forbidden Rain, Inogari (Adonis' character) is soft-spoken, protective, and kind. He saves the main police character in the very first scene. He's an ambassador and a respected enough member of society that he's part of the Sakurayama (Rei's character) social club. He uses "watashi," which is even more polite than Adonis' "ore." He literally faints at the sight of blood. He's the picture of innocence and goodness and all that society approves of. But in a Jekyll and Hyde-like twist, he ends up secretly being the killer Beast. In the end, the Beast is finally caught when Inogari realizes the truth and chains himself to a wall so he can be caught by the police in an act of sacrifice.

Inogari is the picture of propriety, but he keeps the Beast repressed, and eventually this Beast destroys him. Even if you try your best to act as part of proper society, you'll never really fit in.

Silent Oath lyrics, translation by royalquintet on Fandom wiki.

Another note: Forbidden Rain has a lot of the same themes of self-sacrifice, repression, and pure, romantic love that Knights songs do. Knights, in game, is a much more traditional idol unit than UNDEAD is. Forbidden Rain thus attempts to align itself more closely with the socially acceptable Knights, but it's still an UNDEAD song at its core. The monster is inescapable.

Part 3: Mystic Fragrance and Trans Allegory

This thread by @/pretty5P on twitter (https://x.com/pretty5p/status/1625958198623539200?s=46&t=lm_x5Uw5f8pKXHUoLzYksw) is a really cool analysis on the perfume symbolism in the song and how it relates to Arashi's gender identity (go read it!!), but if you don’t want to give Elon Musk ad revenue, the gist of it is this: Odette is her "masculine" initial impression, the impression others have of her, and the impression that fades most quickly. Odile is her lasting "feminine" self and the true self that remains when the top notes fade away.

Over the course of the song, the singer (Odette/Odile) grows more and more tainted, going from a pure white dress to a multicolored rainbow dress to a pitch black dress. The final perfume note is desire, the desire to live as themselves, the desire to be with the person they love.

Mystic Fragrance lyrics, translation by KYM2020 on Fandom wiki.

While the song does focus on a pure romantic love, just like Knight's songs, the symbolism of wanting to be Odile is far more similar to UNDEAD's monster. The idea of a "hidden desire" lying in wait beneath pure feelings is explored in almost every song, as is the symbolism of a dress that gets tainted by desire:

Savage Love Affair lyrics, translation by Nina on Fandom wiki.

And just like UNDEAD songs, the "tainting" of the pure is never presented as a bad thing. Note the references to the moon in both -- it's only in the dead of night, in a midnight ballroom, that one can "spread their wings" and reveal their true self. The darkness, the space of monsters, is a safe space, and in the light of the truth-seeking moon the singer of Mystic Fragrance says that their audience is beautiful.

In the original Swan Lake ballet, Odette is a beautiful woman who falls in love with Prince Siegfried. She's cursed to transform into a swan in the daytime, a curse that can only be broken if someone who has never sworn their love to anyone swears their love to her (in other words, someone untainted). Unfortunately, the evil sorcerer who cursed her turns his daughter into Odile, the black swan who looks identical to Odette, and Siegfried mistakenly confesses his love to her. Knowing that the curse can never be broken, Odette throws herself into the lake rather than live the rest of her life as a swan, and Siegfried joins her.

Mystic Fragrance isn't tragic, however.

Part 4: Living your truth

The endings of Forbidden Rain and Mystic Fragrance are where they differ. Both of their source endings are tragic — Inogari is unable to control the Beast and shackles himself to a wall, waiting to be arrested. Odette and Siegfried leap into a lake and drown themselves, because the only way they can be together is in death. Forbidden Rain ends with the singer holding their loved one close to them one last time in the rain before they leave.

But Arashi rejects her source material because she chooses to embrace the monster. She becomes Odile. She decides to live her truth, and as the top notes and heart notes fade away, all that lingers is her true self. That's why Mystic Fragrance has a happy ending.

There's a lot of symbolism in the Mystic Fragrance music video with respect to the person who loved Arashi during the war era and who killed themselves. She spreads her arms like the wings of an angel and sings in front of a setpiece that looks like the cenotaph. Her outfit contains anemones, symbols of a lost love and grief (and, coincidentally, the flower that Adonis in greek myth turned into when he died). Her greatest regret was that that person couldn't love themselves the way Arashi now tries to love herself. In this way, Mystic Fragrance is like a message to that person -- live your truth.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Ok math really isn’t my strongest subject but I don’t think the population is 6000. JKR said it was around 3000, and after doing some calculations that seems about right. If there is 8 students in Harry’s Gryffindor year and we use that as the basis for calculating (actually let’s round it up to 10 to be safe). 10 x 4 (4 houses) = 40, 40 x 7 (7 years) = 280, 40 x 11 (each number in 11 representing a year of the children who are not in hogwarts yet) = 440, 440 + 280 = 720, so there are around 720 children in the wizarding world UK (and that’s probably overestimating). In the UK people under 18 represent around 20(ish)% of the population if we apply that to the WW then 720 is 20% of 3600. We can adjust for the fact that wizards seem to live a bit longer due to magic probably improving their health, so I’d say the population is around 4000 ish.

I agree with you on the estimated number of children under 18, being in the realms of 700-800. The thing is, I don't think the precantage of 20% in the UK would apply to the WW.

Firstly, that percentage is true for 2024. As the books take place in the 1990s, we should use the precatage of around 24% children under 18 in the UK, from 1992, for example, to get a more accurate picture.

But even then, I don't think it's the right way to calculate the WW population for the other reasons:

Secondly, wizards have a longer life expectancy than muggles. It was stated that wizards, on average, live to the age of 130, which means they have a higher precantage of elderly than in the muggle world. It means that the age distribution of the population across society will be different for them because there are age ranges that don't exist in any substantial way in the muggle calculations. That's why I made the number higher, since we have a lot more old people than in the muggle UK.

Thirdly, death and birth rates. The Wizarding World wouldn't follow the same birth and death rates as the muggle world, again, changing these percentages.

Wars affect the birth rates, for example, and could go either towards a baby boom, like after WWII, or to a lack of children, depending on the society. Considering how many only children we see at Hogwarts in Harry's time, it's likely the latter. I think Harry's generation that was born during the war, and the few years, immediately after, are among the smaller ones in the WW, so there are less children than in some former generations.

(The Weasleys do have more children, but they seem to be the exception rather than the common practice)

We see this change in birth rates by looking at the Black family tree, for example. Phineas Nigellus Black had 4 siblings and 5 children, and his children had at least 3 children each. The next generations continue to have at least 2 children. Then Voldemort’s war hits, and Lucius and Narcissa only have one child. So, the recent wars seemed to have lowered the birth rates.

As for the death rates, the wars with Voldemort had a hand here, but if we look at Harry's time at Hogwarts, Voldemort’s first war didn't actually kill that many people. So the more interesting death rates would be disease, accidents, and injuries, basically any death that isn't natural.

As wizards can fix most of illnesses and injuries with magic, their death rates would be lower than in the muggle world. This, again, adds more older people and changes the percentages you mentioned.

These are mostly the reasons why I had the estimated number closer to 6000. Because children under 18 are just a much smaller portion of the wizarding population than the muggle one.

[hojiteaversion]

Mehmed/MC - Fic Recommendations

An asterisk (*) before the title indicates the fic is in Russian! (I read with a browser translator and it's fine! Sometimes some things sound funny and/or pronouns are translated wrong, but it's all understandable!)

All the fics are completed!

Collision by BorgiaBarbie

Laia struggles when the return of Mehmed complicates her already messy love life with Noe. Oh, and she has one week to restore a priceless painting. Can Laia somehow figure out who she is and what she wants before the sand in the hourglass runs out? Laia/Mehmed and Laia/Noe. Mess. Chaos. Jealousy. Angst. Set after the events of Dracula a Love Story Season 4 Episode 3. Chapters 9 & 10 are set 6 months later.

Hilarious? Check ✅ Great writing? Check ✅ Fluff, angst, humor, and smut?! Check ✅

Also, chapter 4 is what most people would call a religious experience. Please, please do yourself a favor and read it.

The Sultan’s request by nesrinslittleworld

Lale Hatun has a conversation with her Uncle when she visits him with the second portrait.

Really well-written short fic. Mehmed/MC is just implied, but I really enjoyed this look into Lale's conflicted feelings about him.

*The trap of excitement by Akulova Anastasia

After her joint incognito outing with Shehzade, Lale continued to avoid Mehmed, fearing her own feelings, and he, having chosen the path of her methodical conquest, found another safe way to get closer, which could not help but seduce the gambling nature of the Sultana: he promised to teach the game of chess, bypassing the prohibitions. The tactics turn out to be correct, but soon Mehmed sets off on a new campaign. On what note will they say goodbye to Lale, and will she agree to one small bet?

This fic has excellent Mehmed characterization, excellent chemistry and development between him and Lale, an amazing dance scene, and a top-notch epilogue. No spoilers, but there's a moment between the two in the smut scene that I find beautifully done and quite touching!

*Obsession by Akulova Anastasia

“Sorry… God, I don’t know what came over me,” I muttered in confusion and embarrassment, for some reason backing away and awkwardly knocking over the paints. Damn it, in this life we ​​have known each other for only a few days and we are not connected by anything except the memories of the reckless passion of young Lale, who probably did not end in anything good, another me, who has long fallen asleep. So why am I now torn by such unbearable thirst and longing? Why did I… kiss him?

Some beautiful and memorable moments between Laia and Mehmed in this one, especially in chapters 2 and 3. To further entice you, I will say one of these excellent moments involves a knife 🙏‍🙌

*Swallow and flame by linalisavv

“I need to run away from you like fire, but I’m flying towards you like a stupid, naive moth, hoping not to scorch my wings,” Lale said almost in a whisper. Her lips collided with the Shehzade’s, and the air around sparked.

This fic (set after 3x11) imagines how Lale and Mehmed could get together in the Ottoman Empire. I think it's very well-written! And while Vlad plays a minimal role here, I think it's fun that this fic is technically set in a Mehmed and Vlad route. Kudos for the sweet epilogue too!

*A fragile tulip in his hands by Seagull with cookies.

Her mind told her: “Get out, run. He is a cruel tyrant. Madman. He will destroy you." And my heart screamed: “It won’t hurt. Can not. His feelings are too strong."

Friends... This one made me insane. It had a lot of things that fit their canon dynamic so well! I want to let you experience it for yourselves, so I'll just say: drawings, teasing, understanding, breathplay (!!!), and falling in love. Please read it.

*On the edge of the abyss by Little_romantic

"I'm scared. I'm afraid it will hurt again…" "I will never hurt you." His whisper sounded so convincing, so soulful that goosebumps ran across my skin. She knew he believed it, but…

I have recommended this one before, and I will do it again! Each chapter is independent from the others, but guys, the sheer longing in these glimpses of them as Mehmed and Lale want, more than anything, to make them work even as they're scared because, you know, it's them... I think it's a beautiful work and it makes my heart just go out to them.

[millenari]

Munkustrap for the ask game? 🥺

1. Canon I outright reject

I CANNOT find the post but there's this one Jack Rebaldi interview where he mentions something about how 'no one likes Munkustrap because he's the leader and nobody really likes the guy always giving you orders' and as much as I love Jack Rebaldi's Munk I just don't agree with that interpretation. Everybody loves Munk. To Me.

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

On the flip side of Munk actor interviews, Michael Gruber saying

'[Munk is] entrusted with giving the information to the other, maybe younger cats who have not been to the Jellicle Ball before. He gets up and says exactly what they're here to do. He's also caretaker of the kittens. He wants to make sure everybody's safe; in all the Macavity scares, he's there to protect the tribe. So he is the protector'

about Munk is really fundamental for me and how I see Munk, Munk's role in the tribe, and Munk's role in the story.

3. Obscure headcanon

His owner is an old unmarried lady who lives in an apartment by herself; she calls him Felix and he feels responsible for her bc she 'has no colony'.

4. Favorite line

Michael Gruber's American-ass delivery of 'or hairier' in Pekes is my favorite comedy moment in any and all versions of Cats I've seen, it gets me every time.

5. Best personality trait

He cares, deeply and personally, about pretty much everyone, and never hesitates to put himself out there to assist if someone needs it. He's a natural leader and a quick decision maker even under pressure, but he's still patient and compassionate with everyone he meets-- even when he's stressed or angry, he still makes efforts to be kind.

6. Worst personality trait

Munk physically cannot remove himself from a situation if he thinks he's needed, even if he's actively making it worse. He also is one of those people who refuses to let people just vent at him and tries to solve everyone's problems even if they don't want a solution to their problem.

7. Age/height/weight headcanon

Munk is shorter than Tugger but significantly stronger than him, so he can just scoop Tugger up in a fireman's carry and remove him from a situation if he's being annoying.

8. Unpopular opinion about them

Honestly I think I'm even more normie about Munk than about Tugger. I don't think I have any truly unpopular hot takes about him.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

I do love his part of Jenny's song-- the way he's singing directly to the kittens on the ground, and his section of the song has this lullaby feeling to it that's just so calming and tender. I really love how for that song it's a duet (sort of) between a young dude and an older lady, but the older lady gets the snappy upbeat part and the younger dude gets the slow & sweet part. It really just establishes Munk as this soft and nurturing figure from the beginning.

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

Bway revival Macavity fight imo. It's just so damn good.

11. Faceclaim for the role

Michael Gruber is rlly my Munk, even the unique shape of his wig in 98 sticks out to me as a Fundamental Munk Thing™.

In human aus he's kind of this lighter-skinned 'racially ambiguous' kind of guy with dark hair, smile lines, a little bit of stubble, and a frequently worn sweater vest.

12. Crack headcanon

I feel like his human version would be a Beyonce fan, but like in the cringiest middle-aged-dad way possible.

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

Munk's always been a pretty level-headed and mature guy, even when he was young, so there isn't much that he's done that I can label as 'stupid' except perhaps jumping into dangerous situations to protect someone without considering his own safety first. My hc for how Plato joined the Junkyard starts with Munk running straight into traffic on a busy street bc he saw baby Plato abandoned between two lanes and petrified from fear.

Random ass kitten Munk had never seen before in his life, and he charged right into mortal danger without a second's thought about it. Brave, but also stupid.

14. Most heroic moment

Munk's doing heroic shit all the time. My previous answer is actually a good example, plus, you know, he's tangled with Macavity more than once.

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done

Munkustrap Has Never Done Anything Wrong, Ever, In His Entire Life.

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

I don't know if this is 'never admit to himself' levels but Munk wonders a lot if he shares some blame for how Macavity ended up. He and Mac grew up together, and while he always knew his older brother had a temper, he really and truly thought Mac was just rough around the edges, and that he really did care about Munk and the rest of the tribe deep down. But when Macavity betrayed the tribe and started doing Evil Deeds, Munk was left wondering if Macavity had always been rotten deep down, and hid it from all of them for all those years, or if he'd just.... snapped somehow, from the pressure of being Deuteronomy's heir, or something, and maybe there was something Munk could have done to help him before things got too bad.

As is, Munk may never know.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Stress & setting too-high standards for himself, probably.

19. Vices/bad habits

Never resting, for one. He basically never gets enough sleep. It's funny, in my human aus both Tugger and Mac suffer from insomnia, but Munk is oftentimes just as sleep deprived as those two despite being the only Deut bro without insomnia, just because he's always doing things. That man is responding to his work emails at 1:24AM for no goddamn reason.

20. Scars

He's got plenty of scars, most of them not huge, but he's been in all sorts of fights and even if asked he wouldn't even be able to identify how or when he got them.

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

I think he drinks wine in one scene in my human/celeb/soulmate fic, otherwise he's a real coffee man.

22. Best physical feature

I don't know what other cats would consider his best feature! By cat standards Munk is a handsome dude, but kind of in a normal, average way. Just, you know, a handsome guy you'd see on the street. Honestly I think his general vibes are his most attractive trait, though that's not physical. But nobody in all the world can look at a large muscular man being sweet and cute and patient with little kids and go 'nah 3/10 for me'.

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

I'm thinking like... forest or campfire or something like that.

24. Most annoying habit

Asking someone to complete a task for him and then changing his mind and completing it himself before they can get to it.

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

Again I need more details for this question but a book for sure regardless.

26. What they would do if stuck in an elevator with [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

Munk I think is a pretty boring character as far as getting-stuck-in-an-elevator shenanigans go. Except for Macavity, that would probably be interesting. Anyone else would probably just be the two trying to escape together and then rock paper scissors for the next six hours.

27. Their guilty pleasure

Human Munk probably has a variety of snackies he considers guilty pleasures, like special chocolates or whatever. Cat Munk would probably say it's 'oh sometimes I go off somewhere in the Junkyard by myself and just sit for a while and enjoy the silence' and the person he's talking to is like THATS NOT A GUILTY PLEASURE THATS JUST KEEPING YOURSELF SANE

28. How they feel about [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

I headcanon Jemima as being Bomba and Macavity's daughter, though this is a fact Bomba very much keeps to herself-- she's only admitted it to two people and Munk is not one of them. However Munk.... has eyes & he's perfectly aware of who Jemima's father is, though he's never gotten Bomba to actually admit it. This kind of creates a. .. . not 'weird' relationship, but a kind-of sad one, because Munkustrap knows he's this delightful little girl's uncle but she doesn't know it in return, and her finding out will probably be more devastating than anything, because it would come with the knowledge of who her father is.

So Munk just kind of has to treat Jemima just like he does the rest of the kittens and keep the knowledge of their relationship to himself, though he's always wanted a big family.

29. Eating habits

Munk is a Deuteronomy, so in both cat and human aus he can eat for fucking forever. Human Munk likes to cook and bake as well, and he and Demeter make their dinner together every afternoon, and very rarely order takeout.

30. Sleeping habits

Whoops, I already talked about this. He doesn't sleep as much as he should, but he sleeps soundly whenever he does get around to putting his head down.

31. If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

Probably politics. Plus some pictures or art or such that he finds interesting.

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

Kittens being cute will very easily get a smile out of him, though he doesn't laugh-laugh terribly often. One thing people don't know about him is that Tugger suffering something that he 1000% brought upon himself absolutely will get an evil grin or two out of Munk.

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

Just like Tugger's answer, Deuteronomy's death. Munk's not a big crier I don't think, but when he does cry he's usually pretty quiet.

34. How they react when they are feeling X emotion (sad, angry, excited, scared, etc.—can specify as many as you like)

Most of these I think would result in Munk throwing himself into his work with vigor to get his mind off of the Bad Feelings. Munk's not quick to anger but he is quick to calm down after an outburst, and his excitement is usually going to be expressed through singing or dancing.

35. Their idea of a perfect day

This man will honestly be like 'yeah the perfect day would be a bunch of relaxation with my tribemates watching the kittens play and so on and so forth' and then refuse to stop working for ten minutes to make it happen.

36. Their favorite season

Late winter/early spring, the time of the Jellicle Ball and the incoming of the warm season.

37. What they really think about themselves

Munk struggles a lot wondering if he makes the right decisions as a leader and measures himself up to Deuteronomy all the time. He really wishes he could do more even though he's already always busy, and worries a lot whether the trust that the tribe places in him is justified.

38. Favorite holiday

Christmas bitch. Probably also a thanksgiving bitch as well.

39. Favorite game

He probably likes Monopoly. Like an insane person.

40. Favorite book

I imagine he likes reading but I'm not sure what I would say is his favorite book! He probably likes books about history and such a lot, and the occasional historical fiction.

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

Probably his mother, whom he doesn't remember well.

42. 3 comfort items

UHH for human aus: he loves the old scrapbooks from when he and his brothers were kids, his favorite flannel jacket, and uh........ does his wife count as a comfort item,,,,

43. 3 favorite foods and 3 they despise

You KNOW Munk has got to be a steak guy. Unlike Tugger he can probably enjoy a good salad, and box mac and cheese is probably one of those things he whips up every once in a while for childhood nostalgia reasons. There probably aren't a ton of foods Munk even dislikes, much less despises.

44. Their happiest memory

Like I mentioned before, this question is hard for me. I hc that he and Demeter have triplets at some point after the events of the musical, so maybe when they were born.

45. Their favorite celebrity

He seems like the type of guy to like Elvis, idk why.

46. The person they most admire

Deuteronomy. I feel like that one is easy lmao

47. Their dream job

I don't think he really had big career aspirations, more of a family man.

48. Scariest moment of their life

Probably when Macavity betrayed the tribe.

49. Favorite toy as a child

He seems like a stuffed elephant kind of guy. Or maybe his collection of the little green plastic army men.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

I don't think he really has any memories he's consciously or subconsciously blocked out. There are things he tries not to think about or remember, but not on the level of fully blocking anything from his head.

[hedwig221b]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you for tagging me @thotpuppy! I'm reading everybody's answers, it's so fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46. Though only 14 of them in English.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

582,115 holy shit

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Teen Wolf. I've translated for Sherlock before, though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Happiest of All (Sterek, Explicit, 32,5k, ER, Angst, Miscommunication, Stiles runs away from Derek thinking it's for the best. He's wrong) 2. Untouchable (Sterek, Explicit, 17,1k, ABO, Univesity!AU, Courting, Stiles is the new hot omega, bad boy!Derek is the only one allowed to get close) 3. Safe (Sterek, Not Rated, 974, ER, TW Movie Fix-it.) 4. Wait For Me (Sterek, Mature, 64,6k, Spark!Stiles, Cursed sterek, very soft and desperate, forever love) 5. Treasure (Sterek, Explicit, 71,2k, Historical AU, Courting, Heavy Angst, Derek saves Stiles and baby Eli from gold-digging suitors in the most feral and tender way possible)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I answer each and every one, except for emojis. I also stopped responding to comments on Safe because it exploded so quickly and there was an avalanche of comments and I got anxious and I'm still overwhelmed SORRY

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I cannot decide between Wait For Me and Treasure. In both Stiles loses people, willingly or not, and it's devastating that this is something he will have to live with. But both have happy endings, don't worry.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lmao, it's pwp Devoured (Sterek, Explicit, 5,2k, Sex God!Derek, Human Sacrifice!Stiles). I mean, Stiles is getting fucked by Derek in front of the dozens of deities, and everyone is jealous of them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, people have been very nice to me. Some people don't like how soft my Stiles is but it's whatever. However, I anticipate the hate from a certain character defense squad for the fic that's coming out in November. I hope they'll never find it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. It's porn with feelings. And they MUST hold hands. Stiles moans and whimpers and Derek has a filthy mouth. Both are feral sluts for each other. Also monsterfucking. It's Derek Hale's fault, don't look at me, look at his tiddies

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, and, please, don't start

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. Though, I, myself, translated a lot of fics. It's a unique and wonderful experience. I don't think authors realize how deep into their heads we crawl, how we dissect every paragraph, every sentence, how much we immerse ourselves to convey what the author was trying to say. Some fics I banged my head over, they were so hard to translate. Others were so easy and wonderful, it was a joy to work with them. Yes, the last one was Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I fucking loved working on it so much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't see myself doing so.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

STEREK

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen. Mutual pining!Sterek, established!Cordia. In order to save the pack from the Monster of the Week, Stiles and Lydia have to work together to defeat it, and they cannot tell anybody what they're doing bc the pack will die if they do. Naturally, the cheating rumors start. Cora is furious, Derek is devastated. Stiles and Lydia see how much it hurts their loved ones, but they would rather have them heartbroken than dead. Only when Stiles kisses Derek goodbye before going to die for his pack, do they realize that something's amiss. It's so angsty and so epic and I've had this idea for over a year.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Purple prose. Conveying emotions. ANGST. I will make it my life mission to make my readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (including smut because sex is an action scene). Sentences have to be quick, short, with lots of verbs and not a lot of time for emotions. I am not made for that! I try, though, I'm learning, HOLD ON. I also take a long time preparing for super emotional scenes, I just sit there and stare at the monitor and breathe anxiously.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not a full dialogue, but small words like endearments HELL YES! I had an absolute blast with Treasure, having Stiles call Eli cute pet names in Polish. I feel somewhat comfortable with including Polish, bc my native language has the same/similar roots (?), so I understand when the Google Translate is spewing bullshit at me. I'd love Derek to speak more Spanish, but I know that GT is shit, so I have to stay away. Believe me, I know what it's like to read something in your native language and cringe bc of how wrong it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sigh. Sherlock. I translated a fic and it ended up being an overnight hit and it's still the most popular Johnlock fic I've ever translated. The first fic I wrote myself was for Teen Wolf, Sterek. I would probably die from cringe if I looked at it now.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Treasure MY BABY MY LOVE MY FAVORITE CHILD ugh I'm so proud of it, of Stiles, of Eli and Derek in it. It's incredibly raw. I'm also currently writing a fic that's going to come very close to being my favourite. Maybe, even surpass Treasure. But now, I can say with all my heart that Treasure is my best work. Second is The Happiest of All.

This has been insightful and fun. Not tagging anyone, feeling shy, if you want you can steal the questions (hidden below)

20 questions for fic writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[starsandpigs]

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖕𝖎𝖌𝖘. ---- indie mabel pines from disney's gravity falls. extremely selective & private. canon and headcanon based, including materials from books. ( mun has not read book of bill yet, but plans to! ) blog established march 2018. revamped sep 2024. personals dni.

geoff | he/him | 30+. mobile rules below.

RULES

one. due to the nature of my roleplaying style, there will absolutely be mature (please keep reading to know what this means) themes here and there on this blog. i’d like to stress that i will not usually be comfortable roleplaying with muns that are under the age of eighteen (18) so please understand my confidence / comfort-ability is all based on how i feel around the mun. as this character is underage canonly, there will be no smut writing on this blog. any NSFW content will be only gore/horror related, not smut related. the mun is FAR over the age of 21 (i just turned 31) and just isn't comfortable writing that sort of thing with a character who is originally the age of 12/13, even if aged up. ya nasties. stop sexualizing children.

two. this is a selective/private blog. i really only roleplay with mutuals, however you’re more than welcome to reply to any of my open starters if i specify that you can but just know i might not reply because i (1) don’t know your muse, (2) have zero muse for the reply and will get to it later, (3) have no interest in the thread, or (4) am uncomfortable with something on your blog. roleplaying is also a hobby for me. i work full time and sometimes i genuinely cannot reply fast. if you hassle me to reply to things, i will not want to roleplay with you and it will turn me off from roleplaying with you completely. in fact, if you harrass me to reply to threads, i will automatically unfollow you because i’m not about that life of being pushed to reply to things. if you spam my follow button to try and get my attention, that will result in a soft block on your behalf. please don’t test my patience. if you do not have your ooc name on your page i will not follow you, due to me thinking hiding your ooc alias is shady and sketchy af.

three. i love shipping and i love roleplaying so much. this is not a single ship blog and none of the ships i portray are at the same time (unless further discussed with muns, of course). my muse is a free for all but only if chemistry. if i do have mains, which will be listed, they are just the people i will reply to the most, however, i won't actually limit myself to only roleplaying with them and i hope my mains respect and are comfortable with that.

four. tagging triggers is something that means a lot to me as i am not comfortable with needles or puppets on my dashboard so i blacklist needles tw and puppets tw. i know it’s weird but hey, we all have our things. please let me know if you need anything tagged- even if i don’t personally follow you. you deserve a clean and safe dashboard to roleplay in. warning.

five. anon hate will be deleted on the spot. no exceptions. i don’t care about your petty feelings and i won’t tolerate them in the slightest. i’m not here to entertain horrible people’s opinions of myself. constructive criticisms are allowed, but at the respect of myself reblogging a meme asking for it specifically.

six. mutuals are allowed to ask for my discord, since i tend to also roleplay on it!

seven. i very rarely will send in passwords, as i do not require it and i should not have to be tested on your blog to be allowed to roleplay with someone. usually if you have a password, i genuinely just didn’t think to look for it and i apologize if this upsets you but you probably won’t see any from me.

[sol-consort]

There was a 2d video game that's a slow race between a cat and a tortoise. The cat was wearing tiny professor clothes and walking on two legs while jumping from one wood log to another during the race. Meanwhile the tortoise didn't have any clothes but its shell, and it walked and moved on all 4 of its legs instead of two like the cat.

The game was a spin on the rabbit and turtle, except this time it was a race in duration rather than distance. The more you progressed during the race, the more visibly aged the two characters became. The cat grew a cute beard and had to use a walking stick as it neared the end of its life. The tortoise grew more wrinkly but was in a much better shape than the cat.

The cat never dies, even when their race surpasses current known year of history. The dev taking it upon themselves to show you how the future would look like through the various phases and different body modifications these two cartoonish animals get. Typical cyberpunk sci-fi stuff until you reach the final stage of the game.

What used to be two cute artoon animals have distorted so much to an unrecognisable degree. They're perfectly identical at the last stage of the race, turned into what look like big lanterns floating through the air. You wouldn't be able to tell who was who wasn't it for the cat's preference for red and the tortoise fondness for blue, which coloured each of their lanterns, respectively.

I was told at the end that this final stage was a reference to the cult the developer was a part of, the "shining" era of humanity where darkness looms and everyone has to carry a lantern everywhere. There was a group of 3 people talking about it around me as I stared at the floating lanterns on the screen, endlessly moving through the void and softlocking me from reaching a satisfying finish line because the shining era had no end. It was a doomsday cult.

For some reason the three people's knowledge about the cult started and ended around what the game showed despite how they subtly implied to be experts in this field of knowledge by their condcending demeanour while explaining it to me.

I remembered a 4chan post I've read months ago that I thought was just a shitpost attempt at creating a new meme. It was a fully detailed experiment on how to convert a human into a being of full light. It has mentioned the templars and talked about preparing for the darkness era, but it only left instructions on how to slowly expose your body "safely" to different radioactive elements until you too develop your own "natural" glow. If all fails, then you should set yourself on fire as a last measure of protection from whatever looms in the darkness since it'd be less painful.

Taking the chance to show off, I started telling them about this post I saw and describing the experiment. Their full attention was on me, they were eerily quiet but I was too focused on the chance to gloat about my knowledge to notice the way their eyes bulged out of their sockets.

My mouth wouldn't open. It was like I was talking through cotton, and I didn't know why. I clearly didn't have anything on my face, but my lips refused to part. It felt surreal to suddenly lose command of a part of your body without warning, no pain or anything.

And the three people wanted me to keep talking, they were getting closer, still silent and expression getting more angry the more I couldn't speak. I got irritated and attempted to rip an invisible mask from covering my mouth even tho I knew there was nothing, but it actually worked and I could talk again. In my hand laid a very large maggot like thing, invisible except for the way light reflected off of its wet surface. It was big enough to cover my entire mouth.

I didn't comprehend any of this, and oh, this is a dream, isn't it? That's when I woke up. Fully weirded out and not even remembering I fell asleep.

Like dude that dream was so weird, It even felt more like reality because I was playing that videogame that doesn't exist on a laptop. Someone else even showed me an article on their phone.

Like any normal person who was more than delighted at the chance of being a horror movie protagonist, I immediately googled the cult name, but when I actually got to typing it fucking slipped from my brain and I couldn't remember it.

I wrote this after waking up immediately because I didn't want to forget any of this, even now as I'm writing this the memories are getting foggy and I'm unsure of which part of this was even in my dream. There was a last part I wanted to urgently add but I genuinely can't remember anything about it except the urgency to reach it so I could write it down.

Googling templars with the word shining showed me nothing but articles about the movie the shining. Some cool roman chanting asmr rain videos that I listened to.

I don't remember their faces, just the eyes.

Some details I didn't mention above:

The race was set in the woods but eventually they burn down and are turned to rubble and ash, you get a glimpse of settlements on the horizon before the shining era arrives and you lose vision of everything except the two lanterns

The race wasn't a running one. They were jumping on wooden logs rolling from the ground. It was tricky to balance on them, and staying near the edge would make you slip and fall, then get crushed by the logs

I was controlling the cat

To keep up with the tortoise you had to let it get ahead of you then pick up the speed when it runs out of stamina

The cane the cat used to help it walk wasn't a good cane but a full empty shell of another tortoise with some extensions added to help the cat hold it, there was something rattling inside.

All of this happened at the end of the dream. Meanwhile, all the beginning and middle were me hanging out with these three people and how much of a good friend group we are.

I don't think the 4chan post exists. I think my brain made it up. It wasn't a screenshot of a post I saw but the post itself on the actual site.

I thought someone was touching me when I first woke up because I rubbed my stomach, which made a unique noise because of the satin shirt, but the noise kept going for 6 seconds when my hand stopped moving. I was scared to open my eyes. Then I thought "man fuck you demons aren't real" and opened them and the noise stopped immediately.

It was probably one of the fucking birds sqauting on my window squeaking for 6 seconds in a way that sounded to my sleepy brain like satin being rubbed. Because I felt no touch except my own, I only heard the noise and assumed it was me since it was so close by.

[umbracirrus]

So... I was tagged by both @throughtrialbyfire and @oblivions-dawn to find words in my writing... that's five each, so there's 10 I have to find!! And I think that anyone who I would likely tag back has already done this/been tagged in this so wouldn't know who to tag back...

I have to find excerpts containing Blood, Frost, Dread, Known, Awkward, Woods, Silence, Cloud, Steal, and Blade... Quite the list!!! It's going to come from a mixture of what I have posted and some WIPs which I have dotted about........ Where possible I have used excepts from The Perfect Storm (both stuff that is and isn't posted!), but have delved into other WIPs too.

1. Blood

The Perfect Storm, Chapter 6

His grasp of her wrists tightened as the blade against her neck moved slightly, forcing her into lifting her head and making eye contact with him. "I am certain that this fuss you have been making will have been all for nothing once we return to Windhelm."

Fuss? Whiterun was under attack, people were dying, houses burning, her housecarl murdered, and he thought she was fussing?!

"I will never go with you, y-you hear me?!" The blade moved higher, and she let out a hiss as she felt a sting and a small, warm rivulet of blood slip down her throat. And then... She began to laugh. Her poison may have failed, but she had one last trick up her sleeve.

2. Frost

Excerpt from the still untitled fic based around Elyse's parents, WIP.

Edwyn almost felt sick as he heard that. He had never cast any magic on Ingja, with the exception of when they had just met and her leg was injured! He was a conjuration mage, he had never touched the illusion schools of magic once in his life. But even more frightening was the threat of The Chill.

Everyone who had been in Winterhold for more than a week knew of The Chill. It was what was used instead of a conventional jail... And was far out into the Sea of Ghosts. Surrounded by naturally occurring frost atronachs, horkers, wolves... Practically a death sentence if you weren’t prepared enough to handle it. Which you wouldn’t be, because prisoners were locked up in cages, left to the whims of nature until their sentence was completed, until they escaped, or until they perished.

And Ingja’s father wanted to put him in it.

3. Dread

WIP based around my Vigilant of Stendarr-turned-Vampire Dragonborn, Iduna

A small sigh escaped her lips as she placed the amulet down on the table in front of her, and reached out for her bottle of mead. There was a slight fruitiness to its scent, one which reminded her of days long gone from her youth when she would sit with her family around a fire with mugs of berry juice, fresh from the pot above the flames and infused with spices which could only make her feel warm and safe.

Juniper berries – she was certain.

“That looks as though it has seen better days. Stendarr, right?” A voice from behind her just as she brought the bottle to her lips made her flinch, with it being the first time that anyone had actually dared say anything to her beyond pleasantries. It began to stir a deep feeling of dread within her. There was a man stood there, a look of curiosity plastered across his face as he glanced towards the amulet. “You a Vigilant or something?”

Suddenly, her throat felt dry, forcing her to quickly bring her drink to her lips before she could think of how to respond. The answer was simple, something which could be answered with a lone word, but it was one that was just not coming to her mind. “Of… a sort, you could say.”

4. Known

The Perfect Storm, Chapter 9

“It isn’t anything to do with Ulfric, if that’s what you are going to ask,” she quickly stated, though not answering the question which actually had been on the tip of the housecarl’s tongue.

“Who was it from then?”

A tired sigh escaped the Dragonborn as she shrugged and started to finally unbuckle her gauntlets and pull off her boots. “That was a letter from somebody who wanted to ‘check up on me’ because they ‘haven’t heard from me in a while’. He doesn’t actually care for me, he is contacting me out of principle,” she explained, before letting out an almost amused snort as she moved her attention towards ridding herself of her breastplate. “He doesn’t even know that I am the Dragonborn, or at the very least I haven’t told him nor care to tell him. He may have figured it out through the grapevine, but if he has, he certainly hasn’t made it known to me.”

5. Awkward

WIP for events which happen very far down the line in The Perfect Storm hehe. Had to keep this one short to prevent spoilers :)

“Balgruuf.”

“Ulfric.”

The two Jarls remained stood in the doorway, tension building between them and resulting in any guests near to the door trying to subtly move away from them. It took Galmar clearing his throat and giving Ulfric a nudge for anything further beyond the awkward stare-down to happen.

6. Woods

More of the WIP based around Iduna!

Panic began to set in when, in the distance, plumes of orange-tinted smoke began to emerge from the woods around the base of the mountains. Her body grew tense, muscles stiffening as a scalding hot bead of sweat slipped down from her forehead to her jaw to her neck.

She wasn’t even there, but she could already feel the flames licking at her skin, the combustion of wood and stone under the intense heat, the dragon’s roars-

Just like Helgen.

“Iduna! Snap out of it already!” The voice, as ever, drew the vampire from her state of panic as she gave off a pathetic little whimper, and her gaze fell towards the dog by her feet.

7. Silence

The Perfect Storm, Chapter 11

“Balgruuf, look at me.” Elyse reached out and took the circlet out of his hands, and placed it back down on the table. “They do not hate you. Trust me on that.”

They remained in a heavy silence after that, with her trying to think of anything else which she could say to reassure him, and him trying to contemplate whether he believed her. Soon enough, a thought came to mind, and she just knew that it could help with changing his perspective.

8. Cloud

WIP based around two of my Heroes of Kvatch, Drissa and Florian.

"How about we just go to Cloud Ruler Temple, as per Jauffre's suggestion, then figure out what we do from there? We can't help the fact that-! Ow!"

Drissa's teeth were bared towards Florian as she stomped on his foot angrily. "If we had actually done as I had suggested, and only handed over the amulet after we had brought Martin here, then we wouldn't even be in this situation!" She then grabbed hold of her sword, and turned her back to the three men. "I'm done with this. All of it. I've helped fulfil the Emperor's final wish, and I'm not getting involved in any more of this- this bullshit! If you want to get your hands dirtier, then fine. Better you than me."

"Wh-What? But what about our-" Florian, ignoring the ache in his foot, began to try to pursue the Dunmer as she walked away from the priory. He was stopped by Martin holding out his hand, and shaking his head. "Driss…"

9. Steal

More of Drissa and Florian!

It was an injustice that she had been arrested, and given that she had been marched right past the Black Horse Courier offices on the way there, it would be the news of the province that she had been arrested by week’s end. No matter what, her reputation would be ruined. At best, she would be having her titles stripped from her in the Arena. At worst... well, she didn’t dare consider it.

 What she was not expecting once she was brought to a halt was to see another group of guards with another person in a similar predicament to herself.

“-gems did not end up in my hands intentionally, you know. I didn't steal them, I found them. It’s not my fault that his tailor did a shoddy job at stitching up his pockets!”

Or perhaps not.

“Stolen goods are still stolen, no matter how they are obtained,” the guard at the desk stated, just as he caught sight of her. “And here comes more trouble.”

10. Blade

The Perfect Storm, Chapter 11

Her heart was racing, and a thin sheen of sweat was covering her face as she remained stood as she was, her left arm falling to her side with its blade still in hand, her right remaining held forward with its blade lodged in place. A few loose strands of hair that had barely been able to remain tied up behind had fallen loose at some point, frustratingly sticking to the side of her face. The only noise around her, beyond the faintest of breezes, was that of her heavy breathing.

[case-57-with-the-enclosure]

Chapter 5!

of lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting!

( 1 & 2, 3, and 4 )

as always, be mindful of the content warnings, we're deaddoving here :] be safe and remember you can always come back- sensitive topics might need some cool-down time and that's perfectly fine ♡

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"Grian remembers those words like a thorn in his heart. Another lie, another broken promise; he's full of them these days."

i need to put him in a sock like they do with cats and cradle him to sleep,, poor little man he's gone through so much.

"In the growing afternoon light, Pearl's profile is crowned in dust and swirling gold motes. She still hasn't taken off her hood; the light catches on a patched seam, almost indistinguishable from the rest except for the dark blue thread that stands out like a neatly stitched scar. Something about it makes Grian's stomach curdle, so he casts his gaze back out the window, tracing leaves with a tight knot slowly gnarling in his chest."

ohohohoho the connection between the recently-patched Broken, its association with stitched scars and Knots,, scratches me brain.

"But the emotions swirling beneath the surface taste like ash, feel like fault lines, and make him dizzy with how fast they roil. Like steam without a pressure valve. Riptides without a shore. Something loose and endlessly spinning, that event horizon he'd felt himself circling earlier, spiraling in until it vanishes to a thin, needle point. Pearl is a maelstrom, Grian the eye, and at some point between his ignominious exit from Hermitcraft and subsequent rescue, they'd become two separate storms living as people."

man i love that Pearl's got just, so much going on he can't even differentiate or pinpoint the feelings- the first time reading this paragraph i had to stop the music and pay it twice the attention, bc it felt like the wind of these sentences was repeatedly slapping in my face :]

"Instead, she shifts, a subtle turn-without-turning, and the corner of her eye peeks out from beneath her hood. A thrill runs up his spine; cloaked as it is in shadow, it appears darker than it should. "Did he now," she says, with a soft, tuneless hum."

ª why do i feel like grian's about to get eaten by a wolf help

" 'Hmm, yeah, and we wouldn't want that now, would we?' Pearl replies, and this time her words hold the same razor edge as a diamond sword. "

funny thing that im This Tense at this but when he and mumbo were fighting i was like yes yes literature anomnomnom- the duality of being scared of conflict ig fjsghdsj

"Pearl cocks her head like a bird, still eyeing him from beneath her hood. Then, abruptly, she turns all the way to face him; the sun strikes her full across the bridge of her nose, slashing a line of gold from temple to jaw.¹ Grian startles, jerking back as if shocked before he can force himself still. Her irises are red.²"

1, beatiful!!!

2, ah shit!!

"A dark red, specifically— the colour of wine, of burgundy. Not the eerie glow of a red life, but something dulled down, closer to natural. Without the help of the sun, they could almost pass as brown— but here, they sear, a mixture of bloodied earth and banked embers.

eating the color descriptions up btw, taste oh-so-good

A trickle of ice flows down Grian’s spine as he stares into them, tracing each weaving vein of stroma, and behind his own eyes a dozen memories drenched in scarlet well up to the surface."

ªªªªªªª *googles stroma* ªªªªªªªªª

"In its place is an expression Grian can't parse beneath the crackling smile; something worn, something weary. Something ready to bite down. "Just checking, that's all. I kinda thought the only thing you ate these days were brains.” "

" “Like a zombie,” Pearl adds helpfully, either unaware or uncaring of the way he’s stilled. She makes a playful little growl in the back of her throat, hooks one hand into a claw in front of her face to demonstrate. None of it— not even the honeyed light slipping in through the window— touches her dark, dark irises."

ok im aware its. a lot to him but me personally, im charmed.

"He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out— Grian lies dead in the water, eyes wide and lips working as the writhing mass of emotions emanating from Pearl solidifies into a single, targeted beam. Like a scalpel cutting flesh, it slices clean through anything Grian could possibly say, stripping him down and leaving him raw, vivisected, on the table."

vivisected is such a good word,,

"The raging star in his chest bursts, igniting coal and ashes and flaring embers, and Grian's voice rises with the conflagration. "I WAS STARVING, PEARL!" he shouts, and his ears ring with the echoes. It's an admission he's made before, but not with such force. Grian snarls, chest heaving, wings clawing desperately to rise up and mantle, make him look large. "I've been starving this entire time! From day one of Hermitcraft, I was starving to death, and not one of you even tried to notice!" A sharp spark of pain needles into his palms; it takes him a moment to realize his hands have released the blanket to curl into fists, nails biting down hard enough to draw blood."

YESSSSS EXPLODE LIL BIRD BOY !!!!!!

"His red lives had always been consumed with a haze of blood, of aching, of thirst so potent he could drink and drink and still be greedy. If loneliness had often kept him company, he’d been too busy chasing death to see it."

!!!!!!!!!! If loneliness had often kept him company, he’d been too busy chasing death to see it!!!!!!!!

"(Except once. In a desert with nothing but echoes and a body still bleeding out on the sand behind him: he’d been alone, then. And he’d choked on it, suffocated; teetered between two gravities before tipping his center to the one that promised home, in any form or fashion. Anything to escape the shackles he himself had crafted, had burdened himself with. Grian remembers that. And Grian will do everything in order to forget.)"

i,, i need a moment to curl up and perhaps cry a little

"I'm fine, stop trying to babysit me, and let's all focus on getting Grian—" His voice cracks on the last syllable; Mumbo has to clear it a few times before continuing, rough and uncoordinated, "Let's just focus on getting Grian better, so then we can take him home.""

:C <3

"Scar winces theatrically. "Mumbo? Yeah… not sure what's gotten into him, poor guy, but he hasn't been acting like himself at all. He's been all sorts of crazy since yesterday. Oh! But don't you worry—" Scar's stiff smile melts into something a little more genuine, rounded at the edges; his gaze is warm, sparkling, as he lifts one hand to hesitantly place it on Grian's forearm. The contact burns right through him, but Grian doesn't flinch; this is Scar."

grian-centric fics got me sighing and twirling my hair at this man honestly- lord have mercy it is contagious

"One promise, he thinks, with an edge of desperation so urgent and pleading it resounds through his head like a scream. Just let me keep one promise before I go. Please."

WELP orz

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Closing Thoughts:

:C i am emotionally devastated

can't wait !!! to read how it progresses!!!!! im very curious about the potion-plan, if he's gonna get close to fully putting it in motion or if he's gonna have a bit of an eye-opener in the following chapters.

also fascinated by the use of the comms, they're one of my favorite things about minecraft fiction! how much are they responsible for? if he doesn't have an inventory without them, can't see the chat without them- i need to design little technologies for my comics asap

overall: devastated and inspired, 10/10

[futurebird]

If you are a teen and you have and ed, or you want to feel thin so badly that you don't care if you get an ed I have a few things to say. I don't know if they will make any difference or not, but this is my best shot. 1. Your feelings are real. They aren't shallow or silly. The self-hate and sadness I felt in those days were some of the most intense emotions in my life and it hurt a lot how many people just seemed to dismiss it with "there's more to life than how you look" or "don't be silly you are beautiful" or "everyone is beautiful in their own way." People would say things that made me feel like no one was listening or caring about how I felt. I didn't deserve that and you don't either. 2. The pressure to look a certain way-- to be thin in particular is real and comes from many places. Sometimes it comes from the same people who turn around and say "everyone is beautiful" (except I remember you saying I shouldn't have dessert.) These people don't really see how jarring this is, they are unconcerned and unaffected with the fear that people who have and develop EDs know. 3. It *is* possible to feel good about yourself. And not in a fake way, if you are fat, or normal, or not skin and bones. I used to think that fat people who said they liked how they looked were telling lies. (Strangely I could see that there were many beautiful fat people, that I thought were beautiful and that I even had a crush on from time to time... but the idea of like oneself didn't make any sense to me) Thing is...most of them aren't! 4. The flip side of this is: should you have and ED you will NEVER EVER NEVER EVER feel good about how you look. No matter how hard you work, no matter how little you eat, you won't be able to have a moment of "Hey, I'm OK." You might think that you don't need any moments of "Hey, I'm OK." --but, always being "less than" takes a toll. In the long run, it makes it harder to just take care of yourself at all. You do deserve to be cared for. If you can't see that something is wrong. 5. Seeing the number on the scale go down was a pin prick of joy in a sea of bleakness. It was the only thing that made me happy for a moment or two-- but then it was back to the sadness and grind. It's possible to loose weight without hating yourself. You don't need to choose between living with self-hate, or having some control over your physical health and appearance. When people talked about recovery they sometimes made it seem like it would be an abyss where I'd be happy, but only because I didn't know what horrible things I was doing to my body... what horrible fatness was overcoming me. I'd just think I was pretty, but really I'd be a failure... but... it's not like that at all. What *is* exactly like that is having and ED. You can't see just how much of your life you are wasting. You can't imagine the things you are missing. You think you are safe, but you are really in great danger. 6. I have had so many happy days since I recovered. I have lost and gained weight when I wanted to since I recovered. I still get to decide how I want my body to be-- now that I'm aging I can enjoy that too. The people in my life who love me would love me no matter how much I weigh now or might weigh later. This isn't unrealistic. This isn't only possible if you are somehow "naturally beautiful" in some inexplicable way that those of us who have EDs never think can't ever apply to us. You could look in the mirror and like what you see. (and not in a deluded way either--) I only wish I could get the time back that I wasted having an ED.

That's the biggest one: I wish I could get the time back that I wasted having an ED. I wish I could have memories of those days that aren't memories of feeling sick and lightheaded and sad. I think of the books I could have read, the math I could have studied, the dances I could have learned. But, I was too tired because I was fasting all the time. EDs eat up your youth. (and will eat up your whole life if you let them, who is the glutton now?) They slow your thinking and stunt your creativity. They don't even really make you "thiner" often enough. Or if you do get oh so very thin... you can't even see it. They are hard to fight. If you feel like you can... it's worth it to skip the ED. It's not a part of a glamorous story, it's not shaping you into a better person, it's not a secret weapon that will give you an edge. It's self harm. Self harm is hard. But if you can cultivate a desire to not have and ED that's the first step. If you don't want to get better no one in the universe can force you to. Maybe someday I'll tell my whole story. But, only if I think it can help. If you have any questions I can try to answer them. This isn't such a sensitive topic for me anymore and I'm pretty open about what I've been through and what I think about it.

[progeniterror]

okay since i'm on my bullshit and people seem at least intellectually interested in the idea here's what i've got for tatum prescott-loomis:

sidney opts to keep the baby despite everything really bc she's just so sick of death and she hopes this can be like, a silver lining and such you know?

for max chaos we use my base set up for billy-- just enough about the end is changes to put some reasonable doubt on him being the killer but you know..... you know....... but it does mean he's alive and well to demand access to the kid and Be Insane (derogatory) with sidney about this. the kid is a factor in why on EARTH they'd go to the same college considering everything.

tatum is about 2ish when scream 2 happens. gets kidnapped on the night of the Big Climax by grandma who plans to kill sidney, take the kid and recoop her image by being like "the good grandmother". Deeply Cursed. tatum doesn't super remember all this outside of it being a Core Memory and an underlying mental vibe that plants fears in her.

scream 3, tatum 2 is about 4 and living with her mom in the middle of fucking nowhere. sometimes she lives with dad or he comes and stays with them. it's very insane. sid and billy are both maniacs about safety considering everything tho for different reasons. she's with sidney for the chase scene on the set which is what really puts the fear of god into her. didn't need to see the knife to know he was Evil Bad bc the Core Memory vibes had kicked in lol. for like basically all of scream 3 tho she's pm off screen except for that one bit since you know.... she's fucking 4. that was just bad luck and timing.

Gets shown stab at a sleepover she was invited to EXPLICITLY so the other girls could bully her with this and the whole "your dad's an axe murderer thing" it's honestly so fucking unhinge and experience she doesn't even feel attacked. like when a burn is so bad you don't feel it. mostly just doesn't recover from seeing people pretending to be her parents bone. the mom came in around then and mclost it on the kids and she Went Home. Haunting.

she DOES get the occasional shit at school about who her parents are. this IS a thing.

sid and billy with the most ACCURSED joint custody set up. his wife is the real GOAT here in managing all this drama lol.

scream 4, she's roughly jill's age, a few years younger i think? but like An Teen™. Bleached her hair for a buffy costume for halloween which billy FUCKING HATES SOOOOOO BAD. but sets her up to be marked as "the tatum" of the "remake" jill and charlie are making. went with her mom on the woodsboro book signing trip to visit relatives, see her hometown etc. Mistake. Billy is also here but for his dad's funeral which tatum also probably attends i guess since that's her grandpa rip. ends up brawling with jill at the end to protect her mom. is likely the one who kills her in the hospital too. tells jill to eat shit bc if ANYONE is gonna be the protag of the remake it's THE FRANCHISE BABY. likely after having had some convo at SOME point in the film bit in the hospital or earlier with her dad about killing and you know Just Doing It bc Fuck Em.

Likely has had at least one ghostface solo run. like a ghostface or 2 who gunned for her EXPLICITLY between 4 and 5. by this point she's just really come to accept this is just How Her Life Is and does like martial arts, self defense, weapons training etc. like just full on laurie stro.de/becky mode and prepares to be attacked at any time. naturally she survives this ghostface attack. mom horrified and glad she's safe dad proud about how beast mode she went. tatum just wants a nap.

in her 20s has a go bag that includes a bullet proof vest. basically has her own variation of the "ghostface fit" for when this shit goes down, which is a black track suit with white details. goes for this bc it's made for exercise and gives her some baggyness to obfuscate the vest. kinda makes her look like a prick but hey, it works. yes she has THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT WHAT TO DO WHEN GHOSTFACES CROP UP. IT'S AN EVER PRESENT FEAR IN HER LIFE. AND SHE'S CONSISTENTLY PROVEN TO BE VALID IN HER PARANOIA.

scream 5 and 6. basically kinda go the same as usual but there's EVEN MORE FAMILY DRAMA since she's there and billy's alive and sam's sam. tatum likes sam a lot and has no issues with her but it does cause the first real serious blow out between her and billy. the murder??? she could get past that (insane statement) but cHeAtInG oN mOm?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!1/!??!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK DAD!!!!!!! 6 includes them reconciling and joining forces to beat the baileys to death with rocks alongside sam and tara. you know family bonding shit.

[yourstormthlaylirahh]

PLEASE tell me more about how you came to be riding bareback on a horse down a mountain in a stampede. This lore is fascinating

Ok, so, bit of backstory: when I was in my early teens and had no experience with horses at all I got suckered into this Very Bad Barn. I feel quite embarrassed and ashamed about this. It was bad for many reasons, but without being excruciating these were the main issues in hindsight:

1) It had lax to nil safety considerations (no insurance, unqualified instructors in their early teens, only let us ride bareback because they didn't want to maintain school tack, didn't actually teach proper riding skills, etc)

2) manipulative and abusive social structure (compelled to volunteer with no compensation or lose your space, lots of gaslighting/moving the goalpost, the group of teens I was with were super fucked up and did a number on my mental health, the adults were even worse especially the barn owner - I have actually run the BITE model used to assess cults against this place and it places alarmingly high)

3) financial abuse - including but not limited to exorbitant prices for what was offered, 'gifting' horses to kids like me who didn't know better (no papers exchanged - paid for a horse for years and took care of all bills, etc only to have him taken away and been embargoed from seeing him when I had a disagreement with barn owner)

4) TERRIBLE horse welfare - I don't want to go into detail on this because it is still very raw, but the worst was a combination of not letting horses be pulled out of lessons despite injury + no biosecurity protocol = disastrous and fatal consequences

Ok, that actually ended up being excruciating detail, sorry about that. Depressing details out of the way, now onto the funny/dramatic part.

So all of this culminated in me, not knowing how to ride very well but thinking I was competent, riding multiple times weekly in groups of about 10 people who were also incompetent but confident (a dangerous combo) bareback in the mountains. The mountains where I live are steep, rocky semi-alpine, and where we rode usually reached a height of about a kilometer.

One of these rides I was in the middle of a group of said riders. We were making our way slowly up the mountain, which was a rather wide trail at that point with very large gravel, probably 45 angle iirc, and had almost reached the top of the mountain. I think there were about 4 horses in front of me and 4 or 5 behind me (cannot remember the exact number) and I was in the middle. I think I was about 20. It was sunny and we were all pretty relaxed and not paying attention, especially the ride leader. I am not sure what the ride leader's horse saw or heard, but he spooked hard and fast. The sleepy ride changed in an instant. All the horses spun 180 fast, unceremoniously dumping their riders onto the gravel. Except me. I missed my chance to fall relatively safely, and by the time my brain caught up with what was happening it was too late to make a last ditch attempt at 'dismounting' (read:falling).

The horses took off at a dead gallop down the mountain. I would say it was probably about half a km on the straightaway before the gravel path started to curve (thankfully the curve was pretty gradual) and head into the forest. I had a death grip in my horse's mane, and was using all my leg strength to hold on (keep in mind, due to the abysmal nature of this barn, I had very little experience cantering and had never galloped in my life. What little times I had cantered had all been on straight stretches with no turns). The horses were clumped right around me, so there was no place I could see to fall where I didn't run the risk of getting trampled or kicked in the head. When we got into the forest the situation got more dire as the path narrowed and the horses maintained their pace, but clumped even tighter. I'm not sure how likely I was in reality to be seriously or fatally injured if I had fallen off, but my thoughts were very loudly telling me that injury or death was a possibility so I didn't want to risk it.

Once we reached the forest it wasn't long before we encountered the stream. A tiny stream, but a short and sharp dip down to the water and then a short and sharp dip back up. They thankfully avoided the bridge. I don't actually remember riding the stream - did they jump the bank? Trip on rocks? I don't know, fear blurred my memory. And then we were continuing on the narrow forest path, me in my stampede, and I wondered how much longer I would be in hell and what I was going to do when the horses stopped - and would they stop? Then we were across the (fairly deserted, thank god) road and at the trailers. Finally the horses drew to a stop. I leaned forward and slid off my horse's neck, and here my legs collapsed and I actually did fall, slightly under his chest but by this time Jace has regained some of his senses and brought himself up so he didn't step on me.

My legs were raw from where I had been slamming my inner thighs into his withers - as I mentioned I had never been taught proper riding. If this happened now (which it wouldn't because I am at a Safe and Accredited barn, but I digress) I would be physically able to ride it better, but where I was then I had been relying very strongly on my death grip in his mane to stay on (the horses were very reactive to having leg pressure on them so we always rode with our legs slightly off the horse's sides, which resulted in us more or less balancing entirely on our pinbones. It took me probably 4 or 5 months when starting at a proper barn to start consistently keeping my leg on horses while riding because I was so conditioned to expect them to try take off when your legs touched their sides). I had basically been getting a few inches of air every stride before slamming back down. Poor Jace. Poor me.

There I was, with around 10 loose horses is very stages of remaining panic, frantically trying to catch everyone and tie them to the trailer. One of them, Thor, would not stop loosing his head and kept circling onto the road, which while relatively deserted still had cars sporadically coming and I do not know how he managed to not get hit - I couldn't get near him. I was bawling my eyes out at this point, but trying to stay calm enough to round everyone up. The equestrian parking lot was bordered by a general use parking lot mainly used by hikers, and there was about 5-10 different groups of people there, but no one offered to help. I could understand it being unsafe for them to help with the horses, but no one even asked if I was ok. What I really wanted was to send someone to check if the people I was riding with were ok - a significant portion of them were seniors and I thought they might have gotten hurt in the fall. One of them I had narrowly missed running over at the start of the stampede. Worst of all, some guy on his atv started to DRIVE HIS ATV THROUGH MY SCARED HERD OF LOOSE HORSES until I ran at him, waving my arms and screaming at him to go another way. I am still extremely indignant about this.

Anyways, thankfully soon after Mr Fucker on the ATV the other group from our barn, who had been riding on trails on the other side of the road, came back and were able to help finish catching the horses and go fetch the fallen people. No one ended up being seriously injured (though I walked with a limp for about a week because my legs actually scarred on the inner thigh) and all the horses were safe. But yeah. Sorry for being kind of long and rambly, I know it isn't really a very exciting story but it's a very strong memory for me.