#Every post of mine ends up being a cry for help I just don't know what to do with myself I'm sorry

[bugswarm]

What are you talking about? I didn't need a week long break. I needed a break for a few hours, maybe a day at most. Also "What stops you from thinking this intrusive thought then going, internally, 'damn I need a break'"? Uh, I did. That's exactly what happened. Want a timeline of events?

Initial thought was "God. The people of my country are so fucked up. Maybe we all should just get nuked off the map. Yeah that inlcudes myself and everyone I know but maybe its worth it so the US can't keep fucking up the planet and causing the death of millions of innocents. Ends justifying the means of whatever" Then I started crying and went "Fuck. That's actually really fucked up. I need to step away. Ill let my followers know that they might not see me online for a bit and then close the app". Thus I made the post you are oh so upset about, closed the app, went back to doing other things, and then got 30 notifications when my email synced because I had email notifications turned on for replies to posts.

I saw what people were saying and went "oh fuck they think Im talking about palestine. I should go explain and clarify that the reason I can't logic my way out of these intrusive thoughts right now isn't because Im a psychopath and so morally corrupt as to thinking this about palestine or something. This anger is entirely directed at the people who are ultimately responsible for the death of millions including palestinians and who have proved that they don't care about that or are directly for that more than once. Also some people are taking this as me being a direct danger to myself or others so I should also clarify that Im not. That im exclusively having intrusive thoughts about how I wouldn't be that upset if a 3rd party nuked us off the map to get us to stop being a problem for the rest of the world. Not that Im gonna like, go shoot up a mall or something like some people seem to think. " and followed up with an explicit request to be left alone and a reminder that harassing me was the pro-genocidal thoughts move (since the whole point of the post was that I was upset about the thoughts, getting mad about the post means being mad that I wasn't just straight up pro-genocide. There isn't another thing to be mad about so that's the only option left).

That's also when I turned off reblogs. People kept replying though and I tried explaining more but people just kept doubling down and telling me to kill myself so I went and figured out how to turn replies off too. I made a few follow up posts to explain things better because at that point I had spent hours off of tumblr, sobbed on my friends floor and had a conversation that calmed me down and wasn't struggling with the intrusive thoughts almost at all (was more pissed off that people were harassing me for being disturbed about the thoughts than anything else, though can't say that I didn't have any more intrusive thoughts at all that night but they were easier to logic my disagreement) and figured that maybe the wording I used originally wasn't the best if so many people were still misinterpreting things but follow up posts and edits don't help if people are attacking you over a screenshot of the original post's wording and not reading the edits and other posts that explain so that didn't change anything. Tumblr was also glitching and refusing to close my ask box.

Eventually I went to bed and woke up to over a hundred messages in my ask box and some DMs. Figured out how to turn those off and that's when people started @ing me death threat posts. So I turned @ing off too.

Finally you went and found a random unrelated post of mine just so you could continue to harass me and make sure I saw it despite me very obviously trying to cut off every possible communication method for a reason. I haven't had any issue with intrusive thoughts since about 8-10 hours after the initial post was made and yet you keep claiming Im somehow doubling down on shit when all Im doing is telling you to go the fuck away and leave me alone and to stop harassing me over a post about how disturbing thoughts were why I was going to be offline for a little bit.

How are you not getting this? Youre the problem here. You're mad at me for communicating that I needed a break due to disturbing thoughts. You're saying that Im "playing the victim" when all I did was have some intrusive thoughts, explained that was why I needed time away, and then got mercilessly harassed for days. I didn't victimize anyone else and was the only person who got hurt here. Was I maybe not the most articulate mid-mental breakdown? Sure, that's kinda par for the course with how a mental breakdown works. That doesn't mean you should harass me for days, and ignore the fact that despite my explanations, you still are misunderstanding what that post says.

I couldn't even escape from this and fully take that break I was asking for because I couldn't turn my phone off due to most of this happening while I was at work and my phone is something I use for my job at times. Deleting the app wouldn't help because of email notifications. And turning off notifications also wouldn't help because then I would just have to come back to hundreds of people sending me suicide bait and death threats and harassment. I wanted to get people to stop harassing me and when begging people to leave me alone didn't work, i cut off the avenues to contact me. But people just keep finding new ways to do that. And you finally found the one avenue that can't be turned off. Sure I can block you and maybe thatll stop this but if you figured it out, others can too. So forgive me if Im fucking pissed off at you especially when you are saying I will never hear the end of this. Ive done everything I can to make people stop trying to make me actually pro-genocide but yall won't fucking stop trying. Go the fuck away you genocidal freak

Something thing to think about, the most secure platform for conversations is Signal.

Signal Protocol-based platforms like Whatsapp, Facebook Messenger's secret conversations, or Skype's Private Conversations are a second best option for making sure no one can find out what you are talking about. These may be a good option for people who need a better UX than Signal itself can offer (Signal is very basic and there is no ability to back up your messages or transfer them to another device, whereas something like whatsapp can do some of those things with minimal security risk for most people).

Telegram is the most well known platform for secure messages. It's... not secure. At all. It has a lot of known security flaws. It's just well known because it has good UX and people don't often think to differentiate between "secure against hackers and malicious actors" and "secure against governments". Telegram is only secure against hackers, not governments. Do not use it for anything illegal nor anything you don't want your government to be able to find out.

[love-belle]

i want sweet revenge and i want him again !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them ignoring their feelings and making the worst decisions.

or

for when they will always be your summer love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

sequel - you were my summer love ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this at 3am bc i have midterms from monday and it's very unlikely i'll post again this month 💔💔💔💔 i love u all so much thank u for reading <3

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yourusername "get him back!" is finally out!!!! i wrote this song in my car after breaking down over the consequences of my own actions and getting yelled at by my twitter girlies <3 summer was fun i had fun we all had fun but the aftermath is not pretty so fuck them boys u all stay happy and thriving hydrated!!!! get ur sweet revenge and get him back!!!!! but fr pls tell his mom her son sucks ❤️

8,628 comments

username there's too much going on idk what to decipher first

username the caption omg 💀💀💀

username her captions never fail to blow me away like girl 90% of these things do not belong here 😭😭😭😭😭

username not her telling us to get our man back but also tell his mom that her son sucks

-> username top tier advice idc

username THE SONG'S A FUCKING BOP OMG

username those lyrics are so her and him coded like 💔💔💔💔💔

charles_leclerc don't call me weird

-> yourusername this is so unprovoked get out

-> username nah what the fuck is charles doing here 😭😭😭😭

-> username CHARLES????

username "bc everyone knew the guy was missing a screw" BABE LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!

username THE TEXT OH MY GOD

username i miss her and that dude ngl

-> username no bc they were so cute together 💔💔💔

-> username why do men ruin everything 😐😐😐😐😐

username "i can fix him" GIRL YOU ARE WORSE THAN HIM

-> yourusername UNCALLED FOR

username i fucking love her and her fans so much like the way we're all js best friends with her and she's sooooo in touch with her fans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername not true u all js bully me

-> username bc u make stupid decisions

-> yourusername ://

username y/n having beef with 80% of her fans will never not be funny to me like wdym ur FANS bully u

-> yourusername i have proof and im not afraid to use it

-> username "proof" and it's literally just her being a dumbass and us having NORMAL reactions to it

-> yourusername FURTHER PROOF UR HONOUR

username so MUCH for summer LOVE and saying US cause u weren't mine to LOSEEEE

username this is sooo 2000s romcom coded idc

landonorris WEIRD??? ME???

-> yourusername GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS SECTION THIS ISN'T ABT Y'ALL

-> username what the fuck is doing on

-> username im so out of loop wtfff

username "i want sweet revenge and i want him again" unhinged behaviour fr

username every time we think she's healing she comes back and writes a song that's basically a BIG cry for help like girl pls we're getting tired 💔

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paddock.club rumours have been swirling around pierre gasly and his anonymous girlfriend, who's affectionately called 'augustine' by his fans, and their alleged break-up for weeks now. the said rumours were confirmed as gasly was seen out in monaco and he certainly wasn't alone — or with just one consistent company. "this may confuse some people but they were very different from each other," sources close to the couple claimed. "after summer break ended, it felt like so did whatever they had going on." this comes as a shock as despite knowing almost nothing about augustine, fans adored her and they're devasted about the end of their summer love. click on the link in our bio for everything that we know about their relationship.

comments are disabled for this post

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pierregasly you're trippin'

9,638 comments

username NAH THE AUDACITY OF M*N SOMETIMES

username BROTHER IM STILL RECOVERING FROM THE AUGUSTINE REVEAL SLOW DOWN

username HELLO???????? HE'S SEEING SOMEONE???????

-> username "he said i was the only girl but that js wasn't the truth"

username the fact that he used HER lyrics for his caption like..........im SICK rn

username when 😭 i 😭 told 😭 him 😭 how 😭 he 😭 hurt 😭 me 😭 he 😭 told 😭 me 😭 i 😭 was 😭 trippin 😭

username im actually in shock rn like my jaw is on the FLOOR

landonorris caption 😬

username no bc im here thinking like she called his friends weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that's why charles and lando were so offended in the comments 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username boy she's over there listening to summer love by one direction WHAT R U DOING

username that's not y/n in the last slide and im throwing up rn i need them BACK

username need this all to be a nightmare bc i cannot fucking do this anymore 💔💔💔💔

username it's on SIGHT when i see u on streets

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username y'all i feel bad for bullying y/n bc if i were her i too wouldn't move on from this man

-> username fr like we gave her sm shit for being in love with him and im like "girlypop same omg"

-> username real like i see what she saw

charles_leclerc nice choice for caption 👍 very strong words 👍

username here for charles and lando calling him out for the caption like yasss kings ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ do ur work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n needs to be more cunty rn bc this is so wtf

username L caption 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵🫵

username im gonna miss their summer love era so much like we were FED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france" WOW OKAYYYY

username something about his last post before this being all about augustine and their summer and now this one is basically shading her like 💔💔💔💔💔

username everyday we stray further away from good

username ripping my hair out why cant bitches be happy ffs

[banmitbandit]

Pots 'N' Picks Week 2024: Day 7: Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Snacks/Dessert/Family/Goodbye

[Dungeon Meshi spoilers (with a big amount of canon divergence) and a long, long caption beneath the Keep Reading]

November 20th, 1484 Dear Senshi, It's been a little over eighty two years since you've been gone. In that time, Merrywinn, the newborn baby you held in your arms days before you passed, became a great-great-grandmother, and her funeral last week was as rancorous as every other half-foot funeral we attended. Soon, it will be my one thousandth birthday, and I can only hope that, like you and Marcille, that's when this curse will finally be lifted, and I can see you again. If that's true, then that means I'm the beginning of an end. Instead of twenty one years, Laios will only have to wait three until he dies after me, and Falin will only have to wait three after that. In twelve years from now, Izutsumi will pass on too, and the six of us will get to share a meal together once again. I've missed your cooking, sure, but most importantly, I've missed you. Do you remember when we first shared that bottle of wine in my new house in Kahka Brud, over nine hundred years ago, before we had the slightest idea that something was wrong? I told you that I didn't want to make you feel the way I felt when Fayfinn left me. You said you didn't care, that it was worth whatever small amount of time you had me. Obviously, it turned out that fate had different plans for us, that the Winged Lion had cursed Marcille too, that we'd each live as long as she would. It's been hard, but since then, you've been there for me every step of the way. When Fayfinn passed, when my girls passed, when their children passed, and theirs too. You've been there for everything, and I'm thankful for it, from the bottom of my heart. I knew I wouldn't be prepared to lose you, and I wasn't. But no matter how much I hurt, Izutsumi was worse, even if she'd never admit it, and I had to be strong for her, too. She's strong and independent, just like she's always been, since the day we met her, but you were the closest thing to a father she ever had. She loved you, Senshi. She said so herself at your funeral. I just hope she doesn't miss me enough to cry at mine. I don't care what dwarves or tallmen or elves think, you and I both know funerals are supposed to be celebrations. Fun is in the name, isn't it? I haven't been okay in a long time, but these days, I feel somewhat peaceful. I have lived my life to the fullest, like any good half-foot should. My birthday gets nearer and nearer with each passing day. Tomorrow, Lochlee, Merrywinn's great-grandson, is helping me collect my things so that I can return to Merini for Laios and Falin's birthday in a few days, and I plan to stay there at the castle until my time is up. I've packed the cheesecake recipe you perfected, and I'm going to sneak it to the cooks whilst Laios isn't looking. I'm sure he'll end up eating yours and Marcille's portions too, but I know you won't mind. After that, it's Marcille's birthday. Then Izutsumi's. Then mine. I'm looking forward to it; like funerals, birthdays are for celebrating. Even elves know that. I can't wait to see you again, Senshi. Yours, -Chilchuck Tims

An AU I proposed back in the Chilshi Nation server a while ago seemed to be a good way to break my heart when rounding off Chilshi week. A lot of people bring up the tragedy of Chilchuck and Senshi's lifespans being so different, and it makes me wonder what it would be like if Marcille's misguided wish had long term consequences.

This wasn't intended to be seven pages long with the lyrics to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri shoved in, but that's what it ended up being. The song seemed a little too perfect not to include.

All of my Chilshi posts were drawn up on the day, and I used them mostly as an excuse to experiment, whether it be posing, body types, shading, comic layouts... My later entries got to be a little more ambitious with what I wanted to do with them, so they're maybe not as polished as I would like them to be, but I hope you can enjoy them anyways.

Whilst I'm here, I'd like to extend a special thankyou to @dumblilracoon for dealing with my awful brainstorming and struggling all week. Couldn't have done this without you. And of course, the Chilshi Nation discord server for being so lovely! :)

If you reblogged or liked or commented on even one of my Chilshi week posts, thankyou so much! Chilshi week has been a blast and working on it and seeing all the lovely art and writing that's come up from it has been a treat.

Happy Chilshi Week, everybody!

[local-new-kid-super]

Little things the Raccoon and Friends Squad do for a New Kid!Reader during and after a battle.

Raccoon:

☆ Shares food with you mid-battle, even his beloved honey-soaked sopapilla. He's pretty selfish on the field (as with everything else), so he doesn't share with anyone else. Expect the rest of the team to get pissy he's not sharing with them.

"Fatass, Captain Diabetes is literally collapsing, give him some fucking food!"

☆ Checks on you first after the battle, trying not to seem like he cares too much, but he's even willing to 'shed' his claws off for a moment because it's next to inpossible to bandage you up with them.

"The fuck?" He snaps, struggling to open up a band-aid pack with his sharp digits. "Fuckin' shitty Terrance and Phillip band-aids, these Canadians don't know anything about battle, New Kid."

Captain Diabetes:

☆ Stays right by your side, often in front of you. Most of his attacks are head-on, and he can take quite a few kid. Sweet Scott is more than willing to take a few hits for one of the few members of the franchise who are kind to him.

"Not to fear, new kid! No hits to tough for the power of diabetes!"

☆ Always asks for you to 'sidekick' for him. He loved being by your side when Cartman first had you partner up with him after joining the franchise. His desire to have a sidekick is a mix of it making him feel like a real, respected member of the franchise, and a slight fear if you hang out with the others, you'll realize he's kinda lame in comparison to guys like Raccoon, or heaven forbid you switch teams and meet Mysterion.

"New Kid, hey! Listen, if Raccoon assigns us partners today, will you be mine? I've even got some super snacks for us to share!"

Human Kite:

☆ Kite's always willing to provide aerial support, or pick you up to help you avoid an enemies attack. This of course pisses of Raccoon, who just gets laughed at when he takes a hit.

"Ey! Kite, you fucking traitor jew, save me! I'm the fucking leader!"

"Shut up, I couldn't lift your fatass if I wanted to! Hop on my back, New Kid."

"Ey!"

☆ He's got a bunch of little home remedies his mom gives him when he goes out to 'play', and even some packed food. After a battle, he's more than happy to plop down on the curb with you and laugh at Cartman crying post-battle.

"My mom made her special stew if you want some, it's cold as balls out here..."

Mosquito:

☆ To be honest, Mosquito can't do a whole lot to help himself, much less you, but he's gonna try and show off, just for you. Whether it means flying in and draining some enemy blood, or even taking a hit to the head because he's too busy flexing his barely visible arm muscles.

"Check it out, New Kid! I'm getting pretty ripped, bzz bzz!" He immediately gets clocked by an enemy, but please don't make fun of him crying 😥

☆ After battle, he's in charge of hydration, so he'll go around and hand out water bottles, and 'blood' for himself, which you've come to realize is kool-aid powder in sprite. He'll give you your water bottle, and hope you won't poke fun at his streaky tear marks and wobbling lip.

"H-heres a bottle, drink up for... for strength, bzz bzzzzzz." He's outright sobbing now.

Fastpass:

☆ Fastpass makes sure to crack extra jokes when you're hanging around, throwing away his respect for comedic timing to slip in a one-liner after every. Single. Hit.

"C-consider t-t-this ass-kicking e-expedited!"

"Did someone o-order t-this fist with s-s-same day delivery?"

☆ Fastpass is pretty much ready to take off after a successful fight, especially if it's the end of his patrol. Hop on his back, and he'll take you somewhere cooler than this storage facility you just whipped Prof. Chaos's ass in.

"L-lets go! I've g-got a coupon for City Wok, and I've got some post fight mu-mu-munchies!"

Super Craig:

☆ He's not really enthusiastic during battle, so if you get injured or knocked out, then he'll step in and fuck up the opposition. Otherwise, he's more than willing to ditch mid-battle and go doing something more interesting.

"This fucking sucks, new kid. Let's go get a slushy."

☆ He knows fighting can be pretty stressful from when he used to battle alongside Tweek, before the whole Freedom Pals incident, so he's happy to take you back to his house to distress with him and Stripe.

"Don't worry, Stripe. Me and the New Kid really showed those assholes not to mess with Raccoon and Friends. Now, give him a carrot new kid, he makes this real funny squeak..."

[fxllfaiiry]

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ୨୧  :  ꒰  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊  ꒱  ♡ ˚₊‧

⌗ synopsis : some nsfw and sfw miguel headcanons.

⌗ cw : both fluff and smut. swearing, use of yn like once, some angst, thigh riding, titty fucking, size kink, mentions of crying and pain kink, breeding kink.

⌗ notes : REPOST!! someone flagged this post and I worked really hard on writing this fic so it's annoying and it makes me upset, please don't flag it again, just scroll away. please, please reblog!!!

✰ miguel o'hara makes you watch him work out because he knows how flustered you get when he's sweaty and shirtless. he'll also make you sit on his back while he's doing push-ups, exaggerating every move just to tease you.

✰ when he's not in his spiderman suit, he sometimes likes to wear the tightest shirts around you, he knows those shirts do his arms justice.

✰ the only person he's scared of is you. if you don't want him to do something, he won't do it. end of story.

✰ you occasionally like to tease him by randomly slapping his ass or saying things like:  

"how are your tits bigger than mine?"

"teach me your workout routine"

"damn, that ass looks good"

"you definitely have a big dick"

✰ you are the only person who can make miguel o'hara flustered.

✰ you love to kiss him every time he pouts, it's the cutest thing ever.

✰ when you guys are in public he shows little to no pda, but he smiles a lot more than usual.

✰ he may never admit it, but he loves cuddles :)) he loves to cage you in his arms and place kisses wherever he can reach. it's very soothing and helps him fall asleep.

✰ loves to watch you cook while hugging you from behind.

✰ playfully pretends to bite you every now and then, he looks all big and scary but he does have a soft side.

✰ remember the scene with lyla and miguel where she made him say please before calling for backup? yeah imagine that with you.

"yn, go call for backup now."

"excuse me? is this how you talk to your wife?" you huff glaring at him.

"I don't have time for this right now, just do it, okay?" he grumbles.

"not until you say it."   "no-"

"fine, no backup then." you start walking away from him ready to leave, until -

"okay, okay. baby, will you p-please call for backup?" he whispers.

"louderr"

"baby, will you please call for backup?"

"yeah I already did, but I enjoyed that"

✰ slowly learns to open up to you about his trauma, it takes some time but once he's ready you guys spend hours talking to each other.

✰ he can never stay mad at you for too long, most of the time he's the first to apologize.

✰ if you cry because of him he'll do anything to make it up to you. he'll make you your favorite meal to cheer you up and then later hold you tightly against him apologizing over and over again.  

✰ everyone teases him for being so soft around you, sometimes you join in as well.

"yeah, miggy, did I turn you into a giant soft teddy bear, hm?

"dear god, please shut up."

                  ୨୧　:　꒰ nsfw ahead  ꒱　　♡

✰ this man is the king of aftercare, cuddling with you and whispering how good you were. he'll even run you a bath afterward and shower you with affection.

✰ makes you get off on his thigh because he knows how much you love riding it, he loves how wet it gets with your arousal, making you clean it up afterwards.

✰ definitely is into fucking your tities, he has no control and starts to rut his hips like an animal. he admires how pretty your tits and face look afterwards covered in his cum.

✰ is addicted to eating you out, thrusting his tongue into your hole for hours and hours, he's addicted to your taste. miguel also conveniences you to ride his face and use him as you please, all he wants is to be suffocated between your thighs.

✰ he can usually smell when you're horny for him, if he's at work and this happens then it's an awkward situation, because he desperately wants to fucking rail you in the nearest empty room. oh, and he also has to hide his boner from everyone.

✰ uses his strength to hold you up against the wall and fuck you hard and fast.

✰ he knows how big he is and mocks you about how you won't be able to fit him in your tiny pussy.

"are you sure it'll fit, mami?"

"your pussy is so tiny, mama. I don't think you'll be able to take it"

✰ winds you up by rubbing his cock up and down your pussy without putting it in, he barely has any patience himself, seeing his cock glisten with your wetness makes him lose his mind.

✰ miguel will slap your cunt as a punishment until you're clenching around nothing and crying while begging him to fuck you.  

✰ leaves love bites everywhere as a reminder that you are his and his only.

✰ you'll wear his favorite shade of lipstick before sucking him off, leaving the lipstick's imprint on his dick.

✰ breeds you like an animal, fucking you raw for hours and filling you up in every position. nothing will leak out on his watch and if it does, then he'll shove it back in using his fingers. he will lick up everything from your overestimated cunt ignoring your soft whimpers of "papi, it hurts."

✰ ties you up with his webbing and uses you as his personal toy.

✰ loves to take you from behind, smacking your ass and leaving handprints, because he's mezmeriozed by the way it jiggles every time. while he's hitting it from behind he's so rough and messy, coating you with his seed all over your ass and back, filling you up to the brim, and making sure you don't walk the next day.

✰ talking back to him will only lead to him rubbing your clit and edging you till your clit is red and engorged to the point where the throbbing has become unbearable. he might take pity and finally fuck your weeping hole.

"finally learned your lesson, mama?"

✰ soft sex is also a yes!! he may be rough and all but he loves to dot on you, whispering praises into your ear while holding you oh so delicately against his body.

[adamsrcnan]

OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

[lovelyhan]

Kai hi! Don't know how and why but, I've been experiencing severe Seventeen brainrot in general so, I'm here to supply hard thoughts. (Also, I reread the JeongCheol x Reader trilogy you wrote and it remains a favourite of mine.)

I don't know who to start with so, I'll go with my man lol. The thought of being forced to cum on Cheol's ridiculously thick fingers makes me need to sit down. You know he'd be running his mouth too and, telling you how good you're doing for him.

the svt brainrot is well-deserved <3 and JAAHFJHD i'm so touched you reread inflection point thank you so much TT BUT HELLO? being forced to cum on cheol's fingers.... [kai.exe has stopped working]?!??!?

it kind of reminds me of the oneshot i wrote after he posted those pics on ig :| his fingers,,, what i'd do to get to cum around them /gen,, you can treat this drabble as a short continuation to that fic :3c

⟣ forced orgasm with cheol ⟢ wc: 0.8k words minors do not interact!

Choi Seungcheol is a man of his word.

When he tells you he'll pick you up at seven o'clock on a Friday evening despite his harrowing schedule, he'll pull up at the curb in front of your apartment with five minutes to spare. When he promises to call you every night he's away on tour, he'll phone you despite the time differences, and the fact that he sounds way too tired to be asking you about your day.

So when your boyfriend promises to stuff you full the next time you see each other, you know better than to call his bluff.

About twenty minutes since he hung up, you hear the telltale knocking on your door. You don't bother putting your underwear back on -- fully confident of the identity of your late-night visitor.

It's safe to say that when Seungcheol sees you behind the crack in the door wearing nothing but a flimsy tank top with your pert nipples straining against the fabric, you were completely at his mercy.

You don't even make it back to your room. Seungcheol simply brushes past you and makes himself comfortable on your couch -- dark eyes hooded with equal parts arousal and disappointment as he manspreads all over the cushions. Fuck.

"If I wasn't the one who was outside, what would've you done then?" he asks gruffly. "I didn't know you were such a fucking slut, princess. Answering the door wearing nothing but that top of yours. Might as well have done it naked."

You humor him with a laugh before striding over to take a seat on one of his thighs, making a mess of his sweatpants as you rub your needy pussy all over the fabric.

"That's just how badly I need you, Cheol," you whimper, sliding your hips against his thigh for the friction you've been craving since you saw those pictures he posted. When you feel those big, warm hands of his sliding up your thighs, you can't help the moan that spills from your lips.

"Turn around and sit on my lap," he commands, and you're much too willing to comply.

The moment your back is pressed against his broad chest, Seungcheol pries your legs apart -- gathering your slick between his fingers before prodding your lips with them. When your boyfriend whispers a quiet, "That's my girl," you practically preen at his praise.

And that's how you find yourself writhing on your boyfriend's lap as he fucks you open on his thick, large fingers -- whining and crying as your walls clamp down on each digit. Seungcheol deigned to start with three, as you've already loosened yourself up during that sultry phone call you shared before he came over, and he delights in how depraved you are from his mere fingers alone.

"Such a good fucking girl for me, aren't you?" he rasps, sinking those digits into your cunt before curling them just so. "You miss me that much, baby? Want to keep me all to yourself?"

"F-Fuck, Cheol!"

You can't even bring yourself to respond. He's so thick, and so, so deep, and he hasn't even brought out his dick yet. But when your brain manages to make you remember how you felt seeing all those fans thirsting for your boyfriend, you end up hissing through your teeth as you grind down on his hand.

"Mine, mine, mine. You're mine," you mewl, barely hearing the sound of Seungcheol's amused laughter before he smashes your lips together.

"All yours, princess," he whispers, and you cry out when those few, subtle words end up becoming the catalyst for your inevitable release.

But even as your walls spasm around his fingers, Seungcheol is relentless. He continues fucking into your cunt with unending fervor -- as if he means to engrave the idea of how much he's missed you as well into your body. You're practically twitching on his lap as he mumbles an incoherent string of words against the skin of your neck, but you're not exactly in the right headspace to tell him off.

"My beautiful baby, always so pretty when you cum for me," is what you first hear when the white noise finally recedes from your ears. You realize that you're still moving your hips despite the overstimulation, so fucking desperate to have any part of him inside you again. "You want more? I've fucked you stupid with my fingers alone, and you still want more?"

You do. You do want more.

"I remember a certain someone saying he'll blow my back out the moment he's back here with me," you sigh, tilting your head so you can kiss the corner of his mouth. "Is he going to make good on his promise?"

The ravenous glint in his eyes is enough of an answer. After all...

Choi Seungcheol is a man of his word.

[elllisaaa]

i love your dom posts so much.. can i request one for lee minho? thank you <333

hii anonie ! I'm so sorry that it took me so much time to answer this, i was overwhelmed by uni and all the things i had to get done in my life but I'm getting back on tumblr ! i looove to do these dom posts so much i swear, hope you'll like it too, thank you for sending me your request <33

DOM!MINHO who is the biggest tease ever everytime you two get intimate, relishing in the way you whine is name when he doesn’t give you what you want.

minho loves to have you crying for him. the guys and your boyfriend himself are often making fun of you because of how sensitive and emotional you are. but behind closed doors, he's addicted to seeing your eyes well up with tears when he's fucking you so good, addicted to the way your voice is quivering because of your cute little sobs when you tell him that you're close.

"look at the mess you made kitten, you're so nasty."

and here we come to the degradation, because even if he loves you so much and will spend the rest of his life proving it to you, minho adores the way you become so eager to show him just how good you can be for him. everytime he calls you by these shameful names, eveytime he humiliates you by telling you that you're not even able to please him how he likes it, you're on your knees and ready to make all the efforts needed and prove him how wrong he is.

"you're such a slut, thinking about nothing but my cock all day right ?"

he always has a smirk on his face when you try to tease him back and resist him, not because he's going to cave in but because he finds your attempts at being a brat very amusing. because both of you know that with one slap against your ass, one ruined orgasm, minho will have you all pliant for him again. and he loves it when you're pleading for your release, when you're going on and on about how sorry you are, that you will never do it again (even if it's a lie), begging him to let you cum. all that is music to his ears.

"was it so funny to rile me up in front of my friends now ? was it so difficult to be a good girl and listen for once ?"

minho also loves to experiment things, and that's a conversation he had with you very early in your relationship because he wanted you to be as open as him about what you liked or wanted to try. every once in a while, he will brought the subject back and make sure to fulfill every need and kink you may want to explore. he likes it that as time went on, you started to confess your most secret fantasy.

"tell me more about it kitten, don't get shy on me now."

contrary to what everyone thinks, minho isn't very jealous. he knows that you're his, knows that he's the only one you want, knows that in the end, you're only giving yourself to him. but still, sometimes, he can't help the anger boiling inside of his veins when another man is too close to you. sometimes, he can't help but fuck you so rough you can't walk the next day. he can't help but litter your whole body with his marks and encourage you to do the same to him, claiming you as his, as well as he is yours.

"that's it baby, look at how beautiful this looks on you, uh ? i'm gonna make you mine."

[weolucbasu]

So, @da-proti-toku-grem kind of inspired me to make a lengthy post, sharing some positive vibes across the fandom, listing the reasons why I love each member of Joker Out and why I would go full mom-mode on them and cook for them and bake them gluten-free cookies.

Anyway:

A Joker Out, brain-rot, appreciation post

(members listed in alphabetical order)

Bojan

First up - as someone who had the chance to see them live, he is an insane performer

His ability to enchant the crowd is insane and you can tell really well that he has great acting abilities too

Watched him in Gospod Profesor too, spot on for someone who is a so-called amateur

His singing voice is... amazing to say the least, it feels really unique

Also, the way he talks, the sound of his voice, the words he uses, his pronunciation, if there were awards for talking he would get one

The languages he speaks, I want to study him, linguistically, he is truly a phenomenon

We of course love a bilingual king

He looks like he has his priorities straight

I also respect him so much for how open he is about his mental illness

I might relate to him a bit too much at times whoops

And the fact that he can somehow befriend literally anyone??? Love that

His friendship with Jere is the main one of course

Oh yeah and the fact that he literally helped people who collapsed at their gigs a few times

Bless him, he deserves all the rest he is hopefully getting

Jan

First things first, I have a soft spot for math guys

And the way he talks about math is fascinating (but you still won't get me to like it Jan)

Cat dad???? We absolutely adore Igor and a man loving cats is such a green flag

I know people say he mumbles a bit and it's hard to understand him at times, but idk, he talks nice and slowly, so it's still really easy to understand him

He comes from my home region, so I am very biased haha

Also, every band needs a guitarist with luscious locks

He absolutely owns the colour red, that colour was invented specifically for him

The nose ring suits him so well too, this man KNOWS what fits him

And if that ends up being jackets with nothing underneath when he performs, THEN SO BE IT

I know people call Kris the lesbian icon, but from what I've seen lesbians are very drawn to Jan as well

Oh, and he gives me Klaus from the Umbrella Academy vibes (I blame the hair and the pink boa)

Jure

Holy shit, sunshine in human form????

The most underappreciated one in the band imo

His surname literally means 'cat' and I am so normal that Jan has called him 'muca'

He also comes from my region haha, bias again

He's really good at filming, he actually shot a few things for RTV (national TV station) and edited them as well, god, talent

Also playing drums... I have sang, I have played guitar, played bass, but drums is something I feel like I could NEVER do, so hats off to you

As @da-proti-toku-grem pointed out, THE MOLE ON HIS LIP? weak knees, yes

He also reminds me of a good friend of mine and I vibe with him so much, I feel like I would vibe with Jure as well

I really don't like the fact that drummers tend to get ignored and I just wish there was more Jure performing content

Though I love it how every time, during Novi Val, he comes to the front and hangs with the others

His hair also looks so soft and fluffy aaaaaa

Again, biased but he resembles my bf the most out of everyone so hmmmm

Kris

The baby of the band! (and the only one in the band I could actually call 'mulc')

In case you didn't know yet, he's half Dutch

And he speaks Dutch, which, as someone who speaks Dutch (in theory, not in practice) makes me really happy

I wish to study him linguistically as well

Also his parents' story feels very close to me, as I'm dating outside of my culture as well

According to him he was menace as a kid and I think we should normalise the fact that you can become a better person as you grow up

But pls don't honk at me on the road Kris, pls, I will cry

The songs he wrote??? NGVOT and Vse kar vem??? Oh boy, I love them, adore them

His holey sweaters are also a vibe

Dutch fans, if you don't shower him and the rest of the band with gifts at their Dutch concerts, I will be mad

Also gotta honorably mention Maks

They gotta be my fav nepo-but-not-really babies out there

Kinda like Maya Hawke?

I am ranting

He also looks like the only member of the band that I would fight, and idk why

Also, I must know if he supports Max Verstappen haha

Minus points for chemistry though, I cannot with that

Nace

Okay everyone

Here we go

We have reached my beloved

I love all of them, but Nace just a bit more

It was love at first sight, I cannot lie

I have a soft spot for bassists and he might actually convince me to try and play bass again

He has been playing it for so long too??? like wow

Oh and of course; THE TATTOOS, BLESSETH BE THE TATTOOS

I will always go feral about his tattoos

At every concert

I know he was the last to join the band but it looks like he fits in so nicely, it's beautiful

Strong mom-codded dad friend vibes

He kinda is the dad of the band haha

And he looks like he gives amazing hugs (lucky all of you who had managed to get one already)

A nice addition to the band

Oh and he's apparently shit at sports which is like... felt

Plus the fact that he wanted to be a vet?

Me too boo, me too, but neither of us is there now

Anway, I'll stop now. In conclusion, this band has my whole heart and they deserve every good thing that happens to them and so much more.

[welcometololaland]

Love Game (aka the tennis au) turns one!

Going to have to beg you to bear with me for a moment while I have a little breakdown about the fact that this fic has just turned 1 year old. As is customary for me, I am actually late to the celebration (it was 2 days ago), but I still I'm here and I'm still crying and I'm still just as much in love with tennis disaster TK Strand and cool, calm and collected Carlos Reyes as I ever was.

This is not my most popular fic by a long shot, nor is it my best writing, but it is the one I love the most. It's the fic I poured my whole heart and soul into and couldn't stop obsessing about. It's the fic I never wanted to stop writing, the one that still keeps me up at night, pretty much the only fic of mine I re-read for my own enjoyment. I loved every moment of creating the Tarlos tennis AU, and even though The Ring-In eclipses it in popularity, I hope that Love Game is my legacy.

If you haven't read the tennis AU it is here for you:

Love Game (original - 142k)

Match Point (sequel - 21k)

Love in Slow Motion (tennis AU prompt fill - 33k)

I'd also like to give the following thank you shout outs 1 year after the fact (these are all in a/n but to repeat) to @rmd-writes for being my beta reader and head cheerleader, @dustratcentral for continuing to support me in the most unhinged way, @queen-saltyfries for helping me with all the tweets and just being a general legend and to @paperstorm for pre-reading and supporting the vision.

ALSO - I have to give a shoutout to the following creations that have been inspired by the tennis au and give me SO MUCH LIFE on a regular basis. Seriously. Y'all are amazing. You have my heart. I owe you my non-existent firstborn child (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE message me if I haven't picked any creations up - it has been a fair bit of time since I saw some of them and I promise I haven't intentionally excluded anyone, my memory just sucks).

Please go and support these creators on their page!!!

This incredible anniversary post by @heartstringsduet

The Tarlos Sports AU creation by @watmalik

A LOVE GAME GIF!!! by @guardian-angle22

The sweetest, loveliest net kiss by @fitzherbertssmolder

TENNIS CARLOS WITH A BEARD by a twitter user but I don't think they have a tumblr :( if they do please let me know!

another amazing creation by the above user.

you guys are so incredible and i thank you so much for sharing your talent with me!

and finally, thank you to everyone who has supported love game over the years in the comments, reblogs, asks, likes etc. that whole fic is for you!

(@sheholdsthemoon i swear you sent me a LG inspired art but i couldn't find it anywhere - please let me know if you ended up posting it!)

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶Oh my God, we’re back again🎶

Well hello….it’s 💛. You said that my requests make you happy and that you don’t mind them so I have returned. By the way, if this ever changes, do not hesitate to tell me. Even if you just don’t want to write TØP anymore. I’m a fan of a lot of fandoms you appear to write for, so I’d probably be able to request other things (again, only if you don’t mind me doing so). For what it’s worth, your stories are the highlight of my day. I frequently reread them when I’m feeling down or in need of an escape.

Alright, enough with my sappiness. You know that meme of the girl explaining something to her mom and the mom is just like 😐 (google “Me explaining to my mom meme” and it should be the first pic that shows up)? I was thinking that a fun story would be Josh trying (and maybe failing) to explain TØP lore to the reader. It doesn’t have to go super in depth to things by any means. I just can imagine that such a scenario has happened before and, quite honestly, half the time I don’t even know the lore. As always, if you hate this idea, no pressure to do it. ❤️❤️

Lore - Josh Dun x Reader

Pairing: Josh x Reader

Warnings: None :)

Word Count: 1374

A/N: I love that you re-read my stuff. It makes me so happy that it’s the highlight of your day. Getting your requests is the highlight of mine, writing helps me relax at the end of the day-especially with how rough it is being in senior year (I’m in the southern hemisphere and finish school late November so exams are imminent 😭). I actually re-read some of mine quite a bit. Honestly I’m so proud of the number 16 cotton candy. The way part 2 ended made me want to cry - I believe I ATE that if I do say so myself 🙌. It makes me want to add more parts, like the reader watching Clancy perform on Good Day Dema and seeing how upset/zoned out he looks and being hurt by it, the conversations they have after reuniting, more of that series’ torchbearer bc he’s funny af, and more! Literally love this request btw bc I tried explaining the lore to my mom and she pulled the exact face in the meme. 

Tyler and Josh were always on social media. It had always been a key part of their relationship with the clique, and I’d noticed it more and more when they started tagging me in memes and pictures that I didn’t know the meanings of. 

“Josh?” I asked. We were sitting on the couch under a blanket in our apartment, the weather outside cold and rainy. Josh looked down at me, I’d planted myself in his lap, my head resting perfectly on his thighs while the rest of my body stretched out across the couch. 

“Yeah?” I brought my phone up to his face. 

“What’s a forest fic and why are the clique tagging me in memes saying you don’t exist?” His face dropped, mouth open wide in shock. “Tyler reposted something about it earlier and I don't get it.” He said nothing, the silence in the room growing with every second. “What?” I could tell he was trying to frame a way to tell me the truth, surely it wasn’t that bad.

“It’s a uh….uhhhh, like a fan fiction. And like….uhhh… I’m like not real in it… like a figment of Tyler’s imagination. Uhh and then a treehouse burns down THE END,” he mumbled, stumbling through the words and giving the worst plot description I’d ever heard. I was still confused. “That’s all you will EVER need to know… no need to look it up or mention it ever again.” He flashed me a quick smile before going back to his phone. I sat there for a few moments trying to understand his words before continuing. 

“But how is that relevant to whatever Tyler posted this morning?” 

He let out a loud sigh, telling me I was starting to get on his nerves. He put down his phone and properly sat up, giving me his full attention.

“It’s related to the lore of the new album, the whole Dema thing,” he explained. I knew that over the last few albums the boys had been telling some big story but that it was too complex to just google and learn about in five minutes. 

“Like how your character is the Torchbearer?” I asked and he nodded in response. “But how is that related to you not existing?”

“Do you really want me to explain the whole lore to you?” he laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess today’s the day.”

Josh had tried to explain everything as clearly as he could but it still didn’t make any sense. He explained that he was called the Torchbearer–which I’d proudly already known–and that Tyler was called Clancy. He also said that Clancy was trying to escape Dema because of the Bishops–I still didn’t really understand the concept of the Bishops… or Dema for that matter. 

“Wait, wait, wait, so you’re saying that there’s like… nine different Bishops?” I asked, trying to get my head around it. 

Josh nodded, “And they’re in charge of different sectors of Dema where the citizens live.” 

“If I’m being 100% honest, I have no idea where we are on the timeline or what the difference between Trench and Dema is,” I laughed. Josh covered his eyes and shook his head. He grabbed his phone, sending off a couple of texts before continuing trying to explain the lore. After about an hour, we both had our computers out, Josh was on the clique side of reddit and I was taking notes, typing frantically. A loud knock sounded from the door and I got up to answer it. It was Tyler, standing in the doorway with a large blanket with ‘twenty one pilots’ printed on it, snacks–including my favorite candy, the mask he’d worn during all the Clancy promotional stuff, a roll of yellow tape, and a stuffed animal which looked like a fat goat. 

“Where’s Josh? I heard there was an emergency and I came prepared,” he spoke, running inside and jumping on the couch next to my boyfriend. Closing the door I chuckled to myself and walked back over to the boys. “Josh said you wanted to learn the lore.”

“Well I tried explaining it to her myself but she wasn’t getting it,” Josh claimed. 

“That’s because you don’t get the lore yourself, come on,” Tyler laughed. He grabbed Josh’s computer and switched the tab to YouTube. “To start with, watch this.” He started playing the band’s ‘The Story’ playlist which featured all of the lore-related music videos. We started with Heavy Dirty Soul–which I’d seen before–and then went on to watch the videos from Trench. 

“Okay so Tyler’s character, Clancy, basically tries escaping Dema but then gets taken back. Josh’s character, the Torchbearer, is in charge of the Banditos–the rebellion group–and gets Tyler–sorry Clancy out of the city and takes him to the camp but then he gets captured again?” 

Tyler nodded, confirming my understanding. We continued watching the music videos till we got to ‘The Outside’. Josh  pulled out the stuffed animal and passed it to me before pressing play. I watched the video, Josh leading Tyler through an island and into a cave. A small gremlin with black eyes, gray horns, and white fur popped onto the screen, the exact same creature the stuffed animal was modeled off of. He jumped about the dark cave mysteriously, leading Tyler to a larger group of them. “Oh my god what is that thing?” I moved into Josh, cuddling up to him, completely stunned at this creature who was both cute and terrifying at the same time. 

“It’s Ned,” he smiled, “it stands for Neuro-Expansion Device.” I nodded and continued to watch the video. Tyler had gotten the horns from Ned and was able to control the dead bishop I’d learned to be Keons. When we finally reached Navigating, Josh paused the video. “This is the video those instagram memes were referring to, the ones Tyler has been reposting.” Tyler pressed play and we sat through the entire thing. The song was catchy and the video showed Josh leading Tyler through the forest and back into Trench after leaving the island Vøldsoy. What I didn’t expect was for Josh’s character to be a figment of Tyler’s imagination and the real Torchbearer to be the Bandito one from the Trench videos. 

“WHAT?!” I gasped, “NO WAY.” There was no way this whole time the Torchbearer was not there for Clancy. I wanted to cry from how sad it was and I had to find out how the story ended. “Wait so what happens next?” 

Tyler sat up and put the computer away, “Well basically we have another music video for Paladin Strait but that’s not coming out for a while. We’ve also got some lore stuff planned for the tour so I’ve got to finalize that soon too.” 

I nodded listening to everything he was saying and trying to remember the few follow up questions I had. “So, the bishops,” I started. 

“Yeah, what about them?” Josh asked, wrapping his arms around me. 

“So I get that Keons and Nico are the main ones but what about the others? Like what kind of a name is Nills?” Tyler laughed loudly, bringing a hand up to his chest.

“They’re from the songs off Blurryface, like Sacarver, “she’s a carver,” he explained. 

“Oh so you went through the lyrics and highlighted things that sounded vaguely like names?” Josh seemed to find that hilarious because he nearly fell off the couch. Tyler however, found it less funny and rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough for today,” he got up and packed up the blanket. “You can keep the Ned by the way.” I grinned and cuddled him closer to me. 

“Thanks for the help Tyler,” Josh held me against his chest. 

“No worries,” he smiled before leaving the apartment. Josh and I were left to ourselves, the rain still pattered on the roof and I could hear the occasional grumble of thunder. 

“So Torchbearer, what’s the plan for dinner?” I asked, getting up off the couch. I got up, put away all the snacks and drinks while Josh folded up our blankets. 

“You’re never going to stop calling me that are you?” he laughed. 

“What’s that? I can’t see you, maybe you’re not really here.”

//

Hopefully this is good, I wasn't too sure about it but I think it's worth publishing. I'm so glad that I have 💛 anon bc their requests are awesome and I love hearing their feedback. I felt guilty last night about declining a Joshler fic but bc of 💛 saying I should write what I want it felt okay.

[kidge-planet]

"When green leaves meet red ones": kidge fall event.

Day Three; Love among bear branches and falling leaves.

characters: Keith and Pidge.

Pairings: Keith and Pidge/ Kidge

Post season 8

War was over, finally. But at what cost ?.. Allura left us, and now, it's all just felt worthless. She was our friend. The hardest part is that I can't help but feel guilty every time I see my team crying for her... Especially for Lance he had finally found a girl that loved him back.. He finally met the love of his life.. and I was their leader what if all this could have been avoided?.. If I had done things differently, taken different decisions?.. Maybe she would have been with us, we would have celebrated her and Lance would have probably gotten married, have kids... they would have been happy... Apparently not in this reality, never. And let's not mention Coran. He's heart is broken. Everyone's hearts are.

We were "celebrating" the end of the war between paladins. It wasn't a party, but more of a "heartwarming reunion". To see each other one last time before going back to our own lives.

Hunk had cooked for us. Afterwards, we sat on the couch and all knew that Lance was always on the verge of tears... He lost her a week ago, after all.. As for me, I couldn't bear the guilt of knowing it was my fault. My friends are destroyed, because of me.. she died because of me...

I felt dizzy and got up, "I'll go get some fresh air..." I sighed and headed out, not giving them enough time to answer or react to what I said.

When I opened the door, the cold and chilling Autumn air hit my face, making me shiver.. I closed my jacket and kept walking until I reached a few trees.. once I stopped I sighed again and pulled a cigarette out of my pocket, lighting it and then blew a thick cloud of smoke that was almost invisible in the darkness of night. Quickly, the wind blew it away, and I took the cigarettes back to my lips.

I was thoughtful, but smoking calmed me a bit.. I took a deep breath, but then heard some steps on the crispy ground full of leaves... they were coming towards me. I turned around and saw a small figure... Pidge...

She hadn't cried since the Allura's death. At least not in front of us. I always admired her, because when I met her, I wasn't expecting her to be this brilliant, expressive, fun and nice person she is. Adding that to the fact that she is pretty, she has everything for her. I wish it after today, I could see her more, create a closer bond with her away from space and War (well, I understood that later, when we said goodbye..).

She stopped in front of me, hands in her pockets and an eyebrow lifted. It took me a second to understand why.

"Since when have you been smoking?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"I don't remember... but don't worry, I'm not an actual smoker. I only smoke when I feel stressed and anxious, especially when I can't hit the training room." I shrugged.

"I'm not going to tell you it's bad for you—I know you already know that. Instead, can I ask why you're doing it now? Is it because you're sad about Allura? Or is it because you're feeling guilty?"

As usual, she read me like an open book. My eyes widened, and I sighed, bringing the cigarette back to my lips. "Well... I guess I can't hide anything from you."

She stepped closer and gently grabbed my arm, stopping the cigarette before it reached my mouth. I looked down at her. "Why are you so hard on yourself?" she asked softly, her bright eyes searching mine. At that exact moment, a breeze swept through the bare branches, sending a swirl of fallen leaves around us.

I shivered, either from the cold or from her gaze. "It's... part of being your leader, I guess. If anything happens to you, it’s my responsibility. And maybe... maybe all of this could’ve been avoided."

"You're human. Well, part Galra and part human. But my point is, you can't predict the future. You couldn’t have known the best course of action in the heat of battle. Even if this could’ve been avoided, what were the chances you’d make the perfect decision to save her? The probability might be a—" She stopped mid-sentence, tilting her head. I guess she was about to explain the numbers to me, but decided against it, which made me chuckle. She blushed. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It was a difficult situation for everyone, especially for you. Still, you saved an entire universe. Her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. Now, future generations can live without the constant fear of losing their families. She gave her life so we could live. So maybe... cut yourself some slack?"

She gave my arm a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"Thanks. I couldn’t have saved anyone without you." Maybe she was right. Maybe I was overthinking things... Well, she’s always right.

"We did this together," she replied.

I smiled down at her, then glanced at the trees surrounding us. I took a deep breath before crushing the cigarette against a nearby rock and slipping it into my pocket. I grabbed a mint gum to mask the smell of smoke. "Let’s head back inside before you catch a cold."

She nodded softly, a light smile on her face.

A/N

My favorite fic fir the event, ngl🥲I wrote all this in class on a paper and then had to type it on my computer because I LOVED THIS TOO MUCH. hope you like it!!!

[cy-cyborg]

I am SO close to finishing Baldur's Gate 3... I think, I've been saying that for the past 20 hours lol, but I really want to gush about Karlach! Once I've actually finished the game I'll probably make a proper post talking about her in a more structured way from a disability standpoint but I just really want to talk about her now lol.

[ID: A gif of Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3, a tall woman with red skin, one black horn, black hair and glowing orange eyes. She is covered in scars and tattoos, her chest glows and she is dancing on the spot in front of a cluttered tent./end ID]

I did not know how much my inner child needed to see someone like her on screen. Strange thing to say about a character from a game that's intro features worms crawling into your eye in hell but its true.

I have massive burn-like scars all over my my lower body, especially my legs, and while I always (mostly) saw the amputations they came with as just a part of me, I had much more negative feelings about those scars, well into my young adulthood, but especially as a teenager. It wasn't helped by the fact that while most folks had the decency to keep their comments about my visible disability... neutral-ish, the comments about my scars ranged from "you should cover those up" to "that's discusting" and young children literally crying at the sight of them. On top of that, every time a character with scars like mine was in the media, they were either the villain, used to teach others a lesson about not being mean or to teach that chatacter a lesson about how beauty is on the inside or how to love their appearance despite thier scars (that they'll be sure to tell you they think are hideous).

But karlach isn't any of those things. She's confident and literally walks around armour that show her scars by default. No one calls her gross or tells her to cover them. Her scars are never brought up as a negative at all, at least that ive seen, they're never something that detracts from her appearance. She never tries to hide them or gets insecure about them. When you romance her, there's no comment about if you're sure you can find "someone with scars like hers" attractive. Characters in the game dont find her attractive in spite of them, they just find her attractive. Full stop. They're just, there. And what's more, the fandom, for the most part, seems to agree. I have seen so many people swooning over her, and they almost never bring the scars up. People don't care, they just think she's hot! (There will always be outliers of course but they seem few and far between in my circles at least lol).

And my God, it's SO refreshing! Don't get me wrong, it's not inherently bad to have chatacters be insecure about things like scars (Wyll has a few moments of insecurity around his, and I think it's done well) but it's so nice for it to not be the central focus for once, or even really a big at all. Especially for a woman character.

I was so convinced as a teenager that no one would find me attractive because of those scars. Scars like Karlach's. I'm older now, I have worked through it all, and any lingering insecurities I had on the subject were shut down when me and my partner got together. But 15/16 year old me desperately needed to see a chatacter like Karlach, and im so happy she exists now!

[i90soot]

“I'm starting to believe that you don't like it at all.”

Neutral pronouns.

Tw: angst, low self-esteem, mention of self-harm, about thinking things, Wilbur being somewhat careles, comfort, fluff.

You just wish he could spend more time with you but he's too busy and you're dragging yourself down. (It has a good ending, don't worry)

He's too busy, he has too many things to do, he can't be with you all the time and you understand that, he needs to be worried about his own problems, you should do it too, but you can not do it, not when you miss hugging him every night and accompanying him on his streams, not when you see that he spends more time on other things than with you, his partner, but you understand, you are not the center of the world and he has things to do.

But that doesn't mean you're crying in the bathroom now.

It's your birthday and he hasn't come home and it's already past dinner time 09:36 PM and you've been waiting for him for hours, he promised to come but he hasn't arrived and you can't wait any longer.

Soft sobs escape you sitting on the bathroom floor leaning against the bathroom wall you can't take it anymore being almost forgotten by the person you love, you took apart a slicer and there was no turning back when you cut your skin you didn't want to do it but you were too depressed and it didn't help when you received notification of a post from Ash where it just showed him and the whole gang somewhere you don't remember, you're too depressed to remember but Wilbur looked too happy, too happy without you.

”¿Y/n?” he call your name, you didn't hear the front door open and you can barely hear them saying your name in the middle of the room.

You look at the bathroom door, quickly get up and throw the blood-stained object into the trash can. You try to hide the fresh cuts with your sweater, but the blood can still come.

“¿Y/n?" He repeats this time, somewhat worried, "¿Are you here?" He tries to look for you.

“¡Y-yes! I am," you shout from the bathroom you tried to make your voice sound relaxed but you failed.

"Hey, I'm sorry I was late. I was delayed on the way, but I'm here," he says, sighing. You listen to him sit down in the living room chair. "I understand if you're angry, I promised to arrive earlier and it's a little late but we can still celebrate." He tries to cheer you up.

Looking at your phone on the floor it's already 11:25 pm you didn't even notice you were too busy crying.

You hold back a sob as you look for something to clean the blood with before leaving the bathroom. You swallow and try your best to look normal in the mirror.

"Okay, I understand," you whisper while trying to fix your hair in front of the mirror. You make him sigh tiredly. Now you feel bad. Maybe he's tired and you're forcing him to spend time with you.

“¿Where are you?” He asks, sitting in the living room, he has a gift for you next to him.

"Don't worry in the bathroom, I'll be out in a moment" you whisper and continue struggling with looking normal, you don't know how, but you need to do it, you don't want to look bad.

In the end you made your best effort to look as normal as possible, you managed to leave the bathroom shaking but with a slight smile he still smiled and you ended up sitting next to him. You laugh the rest of the night, you laugh you smile you joke with him but he can't help but feel that something is wrong.

Now he is sitting in the kitchen while you give him a piece of cake, he sighs and takes some of the delicious cake which he cannot fully taste yet he eats it along with the glass of wine that you offered him.

“¿What happened to that sharpener? ¿Did he have to pay a penalty for something or something?" He jokes, looking in the kitchen trash can at a disassembled sharpener without the sharpened piece in the middle.

You look at the pencil sharpener and laugh you nervously scratch your neck and nod, "don't worry," you smile and take a sip of cake.

Wilbur looks at you for a few seconds, taking a sip from his glass before speaking again.

"Oh hey, you're not wearing the bracelet I gave you anymore,” Wilbur says and tries to take your hand to check it well but you gasp slightly and he notices the wounds on your wrist due to your moan and like trying to move your arm away when he grab your wrist.

"A-ah, I..." you say nervously, you swallow, afraid of what he will say to this. ¿Will he feel disgusted? ¿Will he think you're stupid for hurting yourself for such stupid things? He's going to-

You feel his hand on your shoulder, you can practically imagine his worried expression painted on his face. “¿Why did you do it?” Wilbur asks, his tone too soft. You've done it before he knows it but he never knew why.

"I'm just-" you try to speak but the words stay stuck in the middle of your throat, you let out a sob and squeeze your wrist, lowering your head. “I couldn't help it...” sobs under your breath, you feel him put his hand on your arm to try to stop you from squeezing your injured wrist.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Wilbur whispers and walks over to you forgetting about the cake and wine. ”You don't have to hide it, okay? "It's okay" he whispers and tries to calm you down, he doesn't know how to make it worse, he tries, he hugs you and you rest your head on his chest.

You've missed his hugs for a long time.

You miss his warmth,

you miss him.

“It's okay... I just need to know why I won't judge you, I just want to know why I want to help you" he whispers and you can't help but cry a little.

“I was too depressed , couldn't take it anymore you were too busy, out of nowhere everyone had forgotten that I existed, aut of nowhere you were too busy to remind me you are too busy. I thought you were getting bored of me I thought you were starting to forget me your life has gotten so busy, i couldn't stand it, You're... I started to think I stopped liking you I thought, I thought it wasn't important anymore," you try to say but in the same way your voice sounds too strange and incomprehensible. You can't even say it right.

Wilbur looks at you he can feel his own heart breaking. He didn't think he had neglected you so much you said a long time ago that you were fine, it was nothing and he thought it was nothing.

"I thought what..." Wilbur tries to speak but he doesn't know what to say he just hugs you in silence. "I'm sorry" he whispers and kisses your forehead, you practically fall into his touch and he just catches you.

You don't talk, you just let yourself fall into his touch, he just hugs you and tries to calm you down. “You know I love you Y/n, I won't get bored of you, I would just stop loving you,” he whispers. "I'm sorry I've been too busy to notice this... I'm so sorry" he whispers "I love you, do you know that? We can talk about this if you want" he whispers.

You don't say anything, you just hug him, you don't want to talk too much, you just want him, you don't need much else, you just want to be with him and drown in his warmth.

03:45 am, You are in bed in his arms, he sends her warm on top of both of you. Wilbur caresses your head and hums to calm you down. You just close your eyes and enjoy being with him. As you begin to fall asleep he smiles and kisses your forehead, "I love you," he says and you can finally rest warmly tonight.

— ★

You get up, your heart stops when you notice that he is no longer in bed. Your eyes become glassy about to sob a little, he has left you again and now you are alone again.

"¿Ready for breakfast?" He says entering the room, you look up quickly, he is with your breakfast in his hands, he probably ordered food.

Wilbur looks at you with a slight smile and you look at him, you can't help but smile a little, he's here, at least your seats are here, and he comes over to sit with you on the bed.

He is here, he has not abandoned you yet.

[sugar-omi]

(swiftie asker) THE WAY I FUCKING BAWLED THROUGH THE ENTIRE FUCKING. POST YOU RESPONDED TO MY ASK IN???? BAXTER YOU ARE SO AUGUSTINE CODED GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD

something that always scratches my brain when i remember it is that if we're aligning olba characters with the actual lyrics... to mc it was "just a summer thing", but to baxter it was "summer love" AND THAT THOUGHT FUCKING KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME BECAUSE . "YOU WEREN'T MINE TO LOSE" OHHHH I AM SO FUCKING SICK

not to mention cove being betty oh my fucking days don't even get me started. "i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired" I AM ABOUT TO CRY!! DON'T EVEN START WITH ME!!! i don't fucking play abt the folklore love triangle ESPECIALLY WHEN IT RELATES TO COVE BAXTER AND MC.

yes yes yes!! those lyrics are perfect for this scenario!!! i didnt have time to sit n pick out some from the songs but you read my mind. those are perfect.

honestly, the way i see baxter n MC's fling in canon, i totally think it was more for baxter. he knew it was supposed to be temporary, a summer fling. he knew that. he said that. but he couldn't possibly help falling for you, who could.

you're too sweet, too gorgeous, too kind. he knows this could turn into so much more if he let it but if he did he'd stain you. a white cloth turning brown. mud on a beautiful canvas.

and when you end up with cove, i know it hurt baxter. the way he reacts in the wedding dlc, the way he talked about cove being the perfect husband, partner, friend, son. and that he was just something temporary. fleeting.

"summer love" and "you weren't mine to lose" is so perfect even for canon. he sees how hardworking and sweet cove is, knows he's perfect for you. that cove is the best man anyone could ask for. he can see that. he knows that is truer than anything else.

he knows it was just a summer fling, that's why he tells you not to mind him, and that's why he's confused you'd wanna be friends with him at the end of your wedding.

and he knows he has no business being sad and jealous watching you plan your wedding. he was never a part of the big picture of your life. he was the sweet lemonade you wanted for a summer but cove was the water you need. so he can't be mad that you are making a life with him.

after all, it wasn't supposed to be deep enough for him to lose something. to lose you. so when you drive away with cove, all your wedding plans in place. he can't cry. he has no reason, no right. you weren't his to lose.

also i can so see this with derek too... because derek has a crush on MC, and i know some of us didn't give derek a 2nd glance the first time around. (me. it was me...)

but he sees you falling in love with cove, he sees your relationship with cove growing and growing. you never look at him like that. you never smile or laugh at him like that. you don't linger when you hug him like you do cove, trying to milk every second.

and you won't kiss him like you kiss cove, and you won't say goodbye on the phone the way you do to cove, with a sweet, whispered depart, full of love and every word you say is drenched in it.

and when you start going out, he can't be mad. he never tried. he tried to wait, wanted to prove himself as someone suitable to be by your side.

so how can he be upset that you start dating another man when he never made his move, never asked you to wait for him. never asked you to look at him like you do at cove.

he never fought for his spot in your heart.

he knows you love him, but not the way you love cove. that's different. very different. so different that it clogs up his throat and clouds his eyes and clenches his heart in a vice when he sees you so in love with each other.

he loves you both too much to cry over what he 'lost.' because you were never his to lose.

[yourlocalviolet]

The Weight of Freedom

(GIF is not mine, All credits go to original creator)

Sad post for today, i'm watching 1883 rn and the sad vibes are spreading to my writing

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You hated this place. Hallways that were once filled with children laughing and happy families were now crowded with angry people with little to no hope for humanity. Maybe you were one of those people. You knew what the last men had done to the children that once lived in the zoo, and how now they were tearing them apart for some sort of ‘cure’. You knew that you were just as bad as them for letting it happen. Guilt filled your heart, and yet you were still here. Johnny was what kept you grounded, and kept you from turning into someone who commits those horrors. The peace shared between you could never last however, as war brewed on, and your own thoughts continued eating at your self esteem. Maybe that's why you had agreed to leave this place with Rani. While you would like to tell yourself you wouldn't leave Johnny behind, you knew you couldn't stay in this place any longer, even if it meant leaving the only person you truly loved. The last sliver of hope you had was supporting the belief that he would agree to escaping and living the rest of your life in peace, together. Deep down however, you doubted that would be the case.

It was dark as you sat on his bed like you had so many times before. Happy memories of the two of you fill your head, the smiles and laughs shared between each other, the stolen kisses and light touches. Tonight would not be one of those nights. He sat across from you, his expression blank. You both knew what was going to be said, and neither of you wanted to face it. Rani had tried to convince him to come only hours before, and you knew what his answer was. The feelings of your guilt didn't go away as you were with him like they usually did. Instead they seemed to multiply by the minute, being joined by the feeling of dread. The tears were impossible to hold back as the wet invaded your eyes. You hadn't remembered the last time you let yourself cry in front of another person. “Don't cry. Please.” Johnny mumbles as he places a hand on your shoulder. Once upon a time the action may have comforted you, but now the feeling was different. It made the tears even harder to stop. “Come with us Johnny. Please. You know you can't stay here. None of us can!” You cry out, your voice rising with every word. You don't mean to yell at him, but you just can't help it. It's too much to handle, too many emotions at once. Johnny knows that, but the look on his face looks like a puppy you had just kicked. The silence rings out as you look up at him. He avoids eye contact, and you know you can't stay much longer. “You have to come with us, because if you don't, I won't stay here with you.” you say, and he knows you mean it. “I can't. I dont have anyone else other than him. I can't go. I'm sorry” You know this is the end and that he won't change his mind. Tears are running down your cheeks once again, and you struggle to find the courage to look at him. You won't see Johnny again after this, and your time together is dwindling. “I have to leave then.” You say, voice cold and emotionless. You rise off of your seat on the bed, and leave the room. If you had some part of hope he would chase after you, it died as he stayed seated. 

Rani was with you now as you stood outside of the compound. As you looked back at the building, it felt like time itself had stopped. Everything you once knew, the hatred, the sadness and the guilt that infected your being would fade away with time. But, along with that, your love and happiness with Johnny would fade with it. And for this you cried. You cried for the death of love, for the death of the children you helped capture, and for the death of the ties that had held you bound for so long. You were free, but with all freedom comes choices you could never reverse, and you knew you would feel the consequence of leaving Johnny behind.

Maybe you were making the right choice, maybe your life would become better and you would be happy like you were years before the crumble. But maybe, just maybe, you were leaving your happiness behind you, in the one place you dreaded the most.