#Even if I did actually post it then what specific reason would I have to? This is a Yan VN blog famsquad it aint that deep ._.

[maripoorsa]

Within this context I want to ask anyone who sees this reblog to ask themselves what some things are that they feel Very Strongly about.

What are some things that you think are unacceptable no matter what. Make a small list of them.

They could be kinks, the way people should act at movies, it could be about manners, even job etiquette, or more in line with the post: something you thing is immoral with no excuse for the behavior/act.

Now consider that you're wrong.

Because the things fascists make you think and the way they make you think them are tied to your own principles as OP outlined above. Im sure there are many things that you believe you are right about because to think otherwise would be immoral. Right?

Like sex scenes, certain kinks, and dark romance.

So now ask yourself how open you would be to hearing out the other side in good faith. Would you even be willing to listen?

Your ability to learn and hear new ideas is what ultimately will separate you from the fascists.

So how much would your own passion and desire to do the right thing stop you from considering the other side?

And if you can't see yourself being open to that sort of thing, then the fascist propaganda has worked.

Because guess who else isn't open to being wrong? Guess who else would rather shut down an argument, silence their opponents, and even harm people who don't believe the same things they do? Guess who else thinks that anyone who disagrees with them is a moral failure? Guess who else thinks they know better than everyone else and wouldn't entertain the idea that what they believe could be wrong?

Fascists, yes.

And then they use that logic to say "well if you don't believe x is wrong like me then you deserve y."

And there have been many, many people throughout history who saw their fascist governments hurting people and enabled it by saying things like, "well, if Those People didn't x then they wouldny be treated like y. They should just stop x behavior."

And you know what that does? Places all blame of fascism onto its victims while at the same time enforcing fascist norms onto society.

Fascists are masters of turning people against groups they see as unwanted for that very reason. They get the public to do most of the finger wagging then, once they manufactured enough supoort using propaganda, they start passing fascist law.

They tie Black people to crime, Trans people to perverts, Jewish ppl to greed, migrants to job theft, gays to godlessness, the disabled to bad dna, etc. All of these groups are blamed for the inequality of the True Countrymen.

So if you

Struggle to accept being wrong

Struggle to accept new ideas of right/wrong

Struggle to change your own idea of right/wrong

Struggle to accept when you're (part of) the problem

Have a tendency to blame cruelty on victims rather than it's perpetrators or enablers

Have a group of people you are disgusted by and would struggle to see in another light

Think people who are, in your opinion, living incorrectly or immorally deserve bad things to happen to them

You are traveling down a dangerous pipeline.

This is your sign to turn back.

Fascism rarely ever actually sneaks up on a government. As a few people above stated, they've been raising alarms for a while and were called every name in the book. I have too. So have a lot of people I know.

Think back to this last election, heated as it was. How often did you see people shut down criticisms of democrats? More specifically, how often did you see people justifying fascist acts and law in the name of their own security? How malicious did you see those people get? How often did they harass anyone who disagrees with them?

Do you know who else saw it? Do you know who else saw even the bluest of liberals justify genocide as long it kept them safe? Do you know who else saw them harass poc who wouldn't enthusiastically elect someone they saw as the Right choice?

Fascists.

it's true and you should say it.

[impactrueno]

🪲Beetlejuice as Mephistopheles😈

so you guys might've seen that my masquerade comic has BJ wearing this funny little get up after people were expecting me to draw him wearing the Phantom's Red Death costume.

just who is Mephistopheles?

our devilishly charismatic fiend friend Mephisto is the reason we use the term "Faustian bargain" to refer to a deal with the devil. in the legend, Faust was an alchemist who ended up selling his soul to Mephistopheles in order to gain knowledge, power and pleasure. he is, quite literally, a trickster demon full of wit and a taste for irony looking to get something out of you. sound familiar?

of course, deals with the devil didn't originate with Faust, and neither did the trope of the devil being a charming and witty character. Faust just popularized it and greatly influenced later characters following this trope. Hades from Hercules is a pretty solid example, since he takes after Satan more than he does the actual Hades from greek mythology (which is on purpose, since the movie plays with christian elements for comedic effect, like the muses singing gospel and Hercules being like a combination of Jesus Christ Superstar and Superman.)

every now and then i see people complain that Lydia referring to Beetlejuice as a "trickster demon" in BJBJ messes with the lore, because "he's supposed to be a ghost," but he has always been more demon than ghost if you ask me. "trickster demon" is a perfect descriptor for him: he has a specific summoning ritual, powers beyond what normal ghosts can do, and is always always trying to tempt people into chaos and tricking them into making a deal. i'll give you knowledge, but your soul is mine. i'll save your loved ones, but you'll have to marry me.

despite this Beetlejuice and Mephistopheles are both funny characters, hardly menacing. doing fun little magic tricks and mocking wordplay, even though they can (and will) ruin your life. yet at the same time, they're not quite as evil as they might appear at first. it's always funny noting how Beetlejuice in the movies technically stuck to his word the entire time. surprisingly high level of integrity for someone like him, but that's part of why he's so great imo.

the scene in the original movie where Beetlejuice shows up as a circus attraction to get rid of the yuppies that came to Winter River to gentrify the town into a tourist trap is just the kind of thing Mephistopheles would do. same with how he gets rid of Rory in BJBJ, playing the role of the therapist to someone who used psychobabble to manipulate Lydia. ironic twists mocking human sins, that's what Beetlejuice is all about when he's punishing somebody, and it can all be traced back to Mephistopheles.

Mephistopheles is a proto-Beetlejuice, basically. or Beetlejuice is a modern Mephistopheles, however you want to look at it.

ok but why am i talking about this? well first of all, adhd. also this is one of my favorite character archetypes. i've always wanted to put my oc Rocky in a story where he's a Mephisto-type of figure. i used to think that the closest i got to that was when i crossovered him with Beetlejuice (you had to be there) but writing this post i...just remembered something. (feel free to skip the next paragraph, it has nothing to do with Beetlejuice lol)

i have this unfinished short story i started to write a while back, in mid 2018. i was miserable, going through a really bad depressive episode, and i was looking for something that could inspire me to create again and get back on my feet. just to practice and for shits and giggles i started writing a simple freeform story where a character named [redacted], who was a stand-in for myself, is suffering from writers block despite not being a writer, and basically wants to be good at writing. while muttering something about how he'd even "make a deal with the devil to become a good writer," he accidentally ends up summoning "the devil" (it's just Rocky) who's all silly and charismatic and offering him a deal. what i wrote ends there, i never finished it. but very soon after that, i rediscovered The Simpsons and started writing Those Springfield Kids. fast forward to a few years later, my SpringKids versions of the characters end up becoming part of an official couch gag animated by The Simpsons team. so. i guess...the deal worked? spooky lol (my Faustian downsides are 1. i can never finish anything i start and 2. i'm stuck here in Venezuela.)

anyway! i originally wrote this as a thread on twitter so i could introduce people to Mephistopheles since i was going to make a reference in the masquerade comic with BJ's costume. i just added a little bit more stuff (and the personal anecdote above) in this post. i would've posted this much earlier but on the day i was going to do it, my blog got nuked. now that i got it back, i can post this!

bonus: the shin megami tensei version of mephistopheles, plus david who is a reference to camille saint-saëns Danse Macabre, which i've ALSO referenced in my beetlejuice stuff a couple of times

ty for reading

next time i yap like this it'll be about the gravediggers from hamlet and how they're another core beetlejuice archetype. ESPECIALLY musical beetlejuice.

[zaebeecee]

Why HuskerDust Isn’t Canon

I’ve seen a lot of Angel Dust-involved ship critical posts lately, all of them cruel and mean-spirited and all of them from those HuskerDust shippers who give the rest of them a bad name and go out of their way to attack anyone with a ship involving either Husk or Angel. They do this because “HD is canon”, and even those who don’t like the ship have resigned themselves to it being canon. But here’s the thing: in both the actual text of the show and in the meta, it’s not. And I’m going to go through several points to prove that it isn’t canon. (Note: these are all tropic flags and nothing else. Consider this a tiny media literacy course.)

Getting this out of the way: this isn’t anti-HD, a discouragement from shipping HD, or saying ��it’s literally never going to be canon”. Obviously, people are free to ship whatever they want for whatever reasons they want; this isn’t intended to bully members of the fandom or to shame anyone who ships it, nor to attempt to convince people not to ship it. This is simply a response to claims of the canonicity of the ship being used to bully non-shippers, and speaking from the viewpoint of the narrative, the tropes, and the meta, it is not canon.

tl;dr: I don’t hate the shippers, I hate the bullies. This is not a discourse invitation, this is a trope analysis. If you don’t like what I’m saying, move on or block me. If you think I’m being mean, I really don’t care, because this is specifically a response to people who are being mean all the time. People in the fandom are terrified to be even vaguely critical of this ship because of the potential backlash, but I’m an Aquarius with a block button, idgaf.

HD was not confirmed canon by Medrano in an interview or on Twitter

To get this first point out of the way, the primary proof that HD shippers will use to claim their ship is canon is a Tweet Medrano put out after Episode 4 was put up on Amazon, as well as a Zoom interview where the interviewer asked her about HD.

The Tweet, which included a screenshot of Masquerade and asked what HD shippers thought of the episode, included the ship name. This is an example of engagement farming, a technique used in social media when people will use trending/popular tags, words, and phrases in order to increase engagement with posts and videos. The use of the HD ship name was not a confirmation of the ship; rather, it was used to capitalize on the ship’s popularity, ensuring that the algorithm would distribute it to as many people as possible. We know this was engagement farming because it was simply asking the people who shipped them what they thought of the episode. It didn’t call it a HD episode, nor did it say it was for the HD shippers.

In the Zoom interview, while the person conducting the interview used the term HD, Medrano herself never did. In fact, she went out of her way to avoid using the ship name, and instead, used the generic word “relationship” when describing their future interactions, a word she has also used to describe future progression between Charlie and Lucifer (so, if this makes HD canon, then it also means that Charlie and Lucifer will be a canon romantic ship).

HD was not confirmed canon by Blake Roman or Keith David

In much the same vein as the aforementioned Zoom interview, when Roman and David were interviewed about the interaction between Angel Dust and Husk, both actors carefully avoided using any terminology or wording that suggested a romantic relationship, only talking about the two of them as close friends. If the ship had actually been confirmed by Medrano months earlier, there would be no reason for the two of them to skirt around the issue. There was also nothing teasing the potential of the ship, simply straightforward information about their friendship.

Husk has been called Angel Dust’s “best friend” by Medrano repeatedly

Medrano has always, when referring to their future interactions, referred to Husk as Angel Dust’s “best friend”. Additionally, while she has never shied away from stating when a character has any form of romantic interest in another character, her only comment on Husk has been that he is pansexual, but she has quite specifically never once stated that he has any romantic interest in Angel Dust.

“Loser, Baby” is the “we’re not so different” buddy musical song

Much of Hazbin Hotel can only be understood through the lens of the form of media that it’s taking most of its cues from: namely, musical theater. There are many tropes that exist within musical theater, specifically in the types of songs themselves, that are used as shorthands to tell audiences what relationships are between characters and how they will be interacting going forward, because all storytelling in musicals are abbreviated by necessity, and songs exist to encapsulate large portions of character/story development in short periods of time.

“Loser, Baby” is, tropically speaking, a song that occurs during the main character’s lowest point in the first half of Act II. This is when they have encountered a massive hurdle in their journey (a breakup, a death, getting kicked out of their house or school, losing their dream job, etc) and are feeling hopeless and lost. In this instance, one of two kinds of songs will occur at this point during the show:

The first is the romantic duet, where the MC is dejected and negative, and their love interest is attempting to turn them around. This is the point when the love interest realizes they are in love with the MC, whether they confess these feelings or not, and is a plea for the MC not to give up.

The second is the “snap out of it, you moron” song. This takes place when the MC is on their own and is found by either a character we are familiar with who has realized they misunderstood the MC (who goes from being a point of conflict to a friend), a family member of the MC (usually either a sibling, an adult offspring, or a parental figure), or by a character we have never met before (generally one considerably older than the MC). This is the song where the other character confesses to the MC that they understand their pain because they were once in the same situation, or because they went through a similar painful progression if that situation hasn’t changed. This song typically carries a “suck it up, buttercup” message and is considerably more callous than the romantic duet, because it is a communication of tough love. It’s important to note that this is never a duet between the MC and their love interest.

“Loser, Baby” is quite firmly in the second category. It is not romantic in nature; rather, it’s Husk realizing that he misjudged Angel Dust and, subsequently, telling him “a lot of other people are in your position, I’m one of them, you aren’t special, stop whining”.

If “Loser, Baby” is romantic, Husk is a predator

For the entirety of the series up until this song, Husk has shown that he has absolutely zero interest in Angel Dust romantically. “Loser, Baby” comes on the heels of Angel Dust confessing to suffering from a great deal of physical and emotional abuse and manipulation, as well as crying in front of someone else for the first time, showing his first true moment of real vulnerability. If Husk uses that moment to suddenly show interest in Angel Dust, it says that either A) Husk is only interested in Angel Dust once he realizes that he is emotionally broken and in a vulnerable position, or B) Husk is willing to use this vulnerability to his advantage and subsequently manipulate Angel Dust. Both of these things are contradictory to Husk’s character.

Husk and Angel Dust have minimal interaction in Welcome to Heaven

Episode 6 has two plots: the A plot, which is Charlie and Vaggie visiting Heaven to attempt to bargain with the Seraphim; and the B plot, revolving around Angel Dust’s temptations to regress into his addictions. In the B plot, Husk’s only interactions with Angel Dust are judging him for wanting to do drugs (which directly contradict his claim in “Loser, Baby”, where he expressly states that he’s fine with Angel Dust’s hooking and drug addiction; it also comes while he is indulging in alcohol, his own vice, which is the definition of hypocritical), and being silently proud of him when he doesn’t do drugs. This is the behavior of the Shoulder Angel or of the Detached Father, not the love interest.

Angel Dust is a main character, Husk is not

Angel Dust is a member of the main cast, alongside Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor. Husk is a secondary character. It isn’t feasible to have a main character pursue a relationship with a secondary character; you can have an MC who is already in an established relationship with an SC, but you cannot build a relationship between an MC and an SC because the SC doesn’t have enough lines or screen time. Keith David is also quite expensive, and there is no way the show will be able to afford the price that would be required for Husk to be a larger presence in the show.

There is a forty year age gap between the two

Sinners do not age, nor do they mature. We see examples of this in every single Sinner throughout Hell; Angel Dust is a good example, as he died in his 30s in 1947, meaning he would be (at minimum) 110 years old. However, he acts like a young man in his early 30s who spent most (if not all) of his life in a deeply repressed home. Another good example is Cherri Bomb, who is clearly in her 20s, but would be at least in her 60s by this point. Because of this, it is easy to determine that not only do their bodies not age, their minds do not, meaning that the age they were at time of death is the age they will be, mentally and emotionally, forever.

Angel Dust died in his 30s. The only official number Medrano ever gave for Husk’s age at death was 75, and she has stated both that he died in the 1970s and he was born before the year 1900. While no specific age has been stated for Angel Dust, he is written to be between the ages of 30 and 35, meaning that there is a minimum age gap of forty years between the two of them. Additionally, if Husk was intended to be the love interest of someone in their 30s, he would not have been specifically written to be an old man.

Angel Dust has never once come on to Husk

Angel Dust is a flirtatious and sexual character. However, his only flirtations with Husk have been responses to statements Husk made that could be taken out of context. Not only does he never take the initiative and flirt with him first, he also never propositions him; the closest he gets is telling Husk he would be lucky to be propositioned by him. (As a side note, Angel Dust has only ever propositioned two characters in the entire show: Alastor, both in the pilot and the first episode, and Alastor’s shadow construct in the second episode).

It could be said that this is because Angel Dust has “true feelings” for Husk and is, therefore, too shy to overtly proposition him, which brings us to the next point:

HD as a ship is built entirely on homophobic writing tropes

There are several points about this ship that are, ironically, homophobic, but I’ll be focusing on the last two points: the age gap and Angel Dust’s sexual nature.

The age gap: the gay male community has, since at least the time of the Ancient Greeks, been plagued with this idea that enormous age gaps are not only fine, they’re expected. Age differences that would never be tolerated in heterosexual or even lesbian couples are waved off when the characters in question are men. This has created the false expectation that many older gay men have--namely that they are “owed a twink”, and that younger gay men are almost required to submit themselves to a much older man as a rite of passage.

Angel Dust’s sexual nature: Husk has quite expressly stated he has no interest in Angel Dust’s overt sexuality, to the point that he refuses to even look at him as a person until Angel Dust reveals other facets of his personality. This suggests that, for a relationship to work, Angel Dust would have no choice but to repress his urges, or that Angel Dust’s sexuality is a front and he actually isn’t that overt. In either case, this would be a direct parallel to Angel Dust’s life as a gay man in the 1930s and 1940s, where he would have been forced to be closeted under threat of prison or death, and either Husk himself or the audience would be forcing him back into a form of that closet.

Crimini has no stated relationship with Angel Dust

Crimini, a character who is slated to appear in Season Two, has been described as Husk’s adoptive daughter who will make up the bulk of his character plot going forward. Not only does Angel Dust have no stated relationship with her, he has never once been mentioned alongside her character at all. If Angel Dust was intended to be Husk’s love interest, that would make him (functionally) another parental figure to Crimini, if perhaps a reluctant one; that would make him an integral part of Crimini’s future plot, but seemingly, the two have nothing whatsoever to do with one another.

Despite the fact that Medrano changes canon based on fan opinion all the time, the show is written too far in advance to change major plot beats just because one ship got really popular

We in the fandom know that Medrano has a tendency to fold in the face of fandom wants and desires. However, between the pilot and season one, the HD fandom was rather small; this would have been when Medrano was working with Amazon, getting future script approval and mapping out the way the story was going to go, and at the time, RadioDust was just about the only thing keeping the fandom alive long enough for interest to remain during the three year gap, and we all know that isn't going to be canon. Because of the sheer amount of overhead and advance planning that goes into something like this--particularly considering that season two was already in production in the wake of season one’s premier--the fact that the HD fandom grew after the season’s release would be unable to have any effect on the show because it would be far too complicated and far too expensive to make big changes. HD would only be viable if it was already planned from the beginning, which it quite clearly was not.

•

So what's my point with all of this? My point is that the content of media means things, and part of media literacy is understanding the difference between wishful thinking/projection and canon.

[ingravinoveritas]

Same David event anon: On a more positive note there was some Michael talk. They were talking about how Michael was top of his class at RADA and David joked that his career had done okay he supposed. 😝 And then the interviewer said “oh but he doesn’t do good like you….oh wait he did pay off the debt of 900 people” and David rolled his eyes and said that he supposed he was a very good person. Much more genuine than the performative Georgia crap.

Hello, Anon. Tumblr for some reason decided to glitch out, so trying this again, albeit with the messages out of order.

Well, it's certainly nice to hear from someone who was at the event last Thursday, and I appreciate you sharing your perspective. For those who might've missed it: On Thursday night, David was interviewed at An Evening with David Tennant, which was held at (of all places) a church in Chiswick.

The interviewer for this event was Deborah Frances-White, author of The Guilty Feminist and host of a podcast by the same name. David and Georgia have a long history with this author, going back at least several years to when they were in a Silver Linings video for her podcast during the pandemic (a video that is very surreal and oddly prophetic to watch now).

From what I've ascertained, it seems like she interrupted/talked over David a great deal, and seeing how this author is also one of Georgia's favorite writers and Georgia was in the audience on Thursday, all of this has to be the lens through which we consider and discuss everything that happened.

For the first part you mentioned, it does seem that someone took video, so I will post it beneath the cut so folks can have a visual:

The biggest thing for me is that as soon as the interviewer starts gushing about Georgia/their relationship, David's body language noticeably changes. I know we've said how wiggly David is under most circumstances (to where there's even an entire blog here on Tumblr dedicated to how he can't sit normally in chairs). But as soon as she starts gushing about their relationship (specifically, what would happen if they ever broke up), he's so far to one side that he's all but launching himself out of the chair entirely. And when she makes the comment about the PM declaring that monogamy is over, David reaches for cup of water, which is possibly the oldest and most well known "I'm uncomfortable" maneuver in the book.

I'm not sure why this woman thought this was an appropriate venue/time to say all that, but she seems to be projecting what she thinks David and Georgia's relationship is--that is, based on what they've shown her of their relationship--in a public forum where both of them are present, and where David has no room to say anything else. But to go so over-the-top with it (while also talking over David/dominating the conversation in general) makes it feel more out of place and stand out for the wrong reasons.

Which then takes us to the questions you mentioned, the "What turns you on?" and so forth. It turns out these questions were lifted verbatim from what James Lipton used to ask on Inside the Actor's Studio--although to go back further, the questions are actually from Marcel Proust, who originated the Proust Questionnaire. Many interviewers have used them since, but usually put their own personal spin or twist on the questions. The questions that this author lady asked, however, were identical to the ones from IATS. So knowing all of that, these seem like questions that were deliberately asked to elicit a specific response.

(I will say that one other thing I noticed was David wearing his 1970 jumper again, but with the sleeves noticeably pulled down in a way he doesn't normally wear them (see below pictures). In particular, the sleeve is curiously pulled down over his right wrist, again in a way he has never done so before...)

In thinking about David's answer to the "What turns you on?" question, what stood out to me was the immediacy of it. Again, this interviewer had just finished gushing over his relationship, they're in the middle of a church (which likely had a lot of personal resonance for David, growing up the son of a minister), and Georgia was in the room. So while it might not have been a dishonest answer, it was expected, and something he did not have to think about. It reminded me a great deal of DragonCon in 2019, when David was asked which co-star he had the best chemistry with. His immediate answer was, "Probably my wife." But then a few moments later, he said "Maybe I should've married Michael Sheen." So that in a way illustrates the possible difference between the prepared answer vs. what he might have been thinking more deeply about.

Which then takes me to the mentions of Michael and particularly interestingly, what David said about GO and Crowley/Aziraphale. Because what we're talking about here is vulnerability, and opening up a hidden side of yourself in a forum such as this. David's answers to "What turns you on?" and "What turns you off?" were predictable and performative, but they were not vulnerable. Contrast that to what one of the attendees recounted about him discussing Crowley/Aziraphale, and it's night and day...

When I first read this, my jaw hit the floor. The entire lack of subtlety, to where you almost don't even need to read between the lines anymore. What David did here is what Michael was already doing back in 2019--connecting himself to the character in a deeply personal way, to where the line is blurry as to where Crowley ends and David begins. Crowley needs his "best friend" but can't express it? And it's very "Scottish Presbyterian" of him? I mean...I don't think you need to be a member of MENSA to put the pieces together at this point.

This was David being vulnerable. This was him opening up and saying something that we never heard him say before, and it was extraordinary. He went into detail in a way he did not with the answers related to Georgia. He didn't say why or how she inspires him creatively, just that she did. He gave a perfect answer, but that's not the same thing as a heartfelt one. And for him to say what he said about Crowley/Aziraphale in this context, at this particular event, and after everything that's been going on with GO for the last few months, is absolutely huge.

I love that you pointed out the genuineness of David talking about Michael as well. I had heard from another report that he said something like, "What's he ever done for charity... Oh, wait, maybe it's not the best week to be saying that." Which tells us that David is keenly aware of what Michael has done and gave his full attention to every single second of the documentary. (The "oh, wait, maybe it's not the best week to be saying that" implying that it's obvious and that everyone already knows what he's talking about...or at least should know.)

When it comes to Michael, David never seems to go for canned/prepared answers, but instead speaks from the heart. He didn't need someone there hyping up his and Michael's relationship to try and encourage those responses--he just gave them on his own. The real emotion that David showed in making these comments/talking about GO was more than noticeable, and seems to be what so many people have reacted to most strongly since then.

This brings me to my last point, which is the response in the aftermath of all this. Knowing that Georgia was there, and knowing the responses David gave to those ITAS questions, you would think that she would've posted something on Insta about the event. At the very least, something about this author lady, who is a friend of hers and her favorite writer and so on, and what a great job she did at the event. But what did Georgia post about this event?

Nothing.

Two Insta stories about an upcoming event with this author and David in April. But not one single thing about this past Thursday. Given everything just discussed above, it would make all the sense in the world for her to be bragging or at least just mention him in some capacity. And yet...nothing.

So yes, those are my thoughts on the event David spoke at this past Thursday. I'm glad you got to go, Anon, and had such a lovely time. Thanks for reporting in! x

[galactaknightyaoi]

When I first got into Kirby, I didn't expect to like, actually get into it. I thought it'd be like any other hyperfixation I'd had up to that point, that it would go away within a few months and I'd never think about it again.

Given I was so deeply in denial, I didn't care about being fully accurate and had some stuff that was really goofy and/or underdeveloped and unexplained. Stuff I'd made up to just work for the limited time I would be there.

Still, I came up with a few headcanons that I got attached to, and when I started realizing this was here to stay, I still chose to be stubborn and had to work backwards to keep these stupid headcanons, but adapt them into something a bit more fitting and polished.

It led to some cool stuff, like for example, my orbs aren't very magical, this was something I had settled on early on. But after I got invested, I had to think about what that actually meant and the implications of it like, how can they do this without magic? And what about that? What about this canon thing, how do I explain it?

I found decent enough explanations for all of these. But as a result of my unserious beginnings and continued stubborness, now I get really embarrassed at the time to actually talk about my headcanons and the stuff I've come up with.

Because what do you mean your Galacta Knight is half-dragon?

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙

I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao

[papaziggy-devblog]

Was it planned to make your pinned post on 9/11..?

Dawg wut?

[stars-and-guts]

me when i woke up two days ago and my kamioshis have beef and the allegations are getting srs

[transmasc-tabris]

More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)

[indefiniteavatar]

So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

[pa-pa-plasma]

so my dad's phone got stolen the other day from his work truck & he explained what happened cuz he saw the security footage, and he didnt have any other way of calling or texting anyone so he naturally radioed his supervisor to tell him to do it, but his supervisor didnt text, just left a voicemail which is stupid, so i decided to text my dad's phone aka the thief this:

and apparently it was TOO effective because today (edit: March 16th, 2022, roughly 2 days later). the man showed up to the desk sobbing so hard no one could understand him. He returned the phone and barely got out that he stole it before leaving

Suffice it to say, I believe I put a grown man off of stealing for the rest of his life. If you're out there random man, I'm sorry I traumatized you. I was bluffing. We had no idea who you were, even with the cameras, and I'm not even sure if you would actually go to jail for taking some oldass phone from an unlocked truck. Thank you for cleaning the phone I guess. My dad barely recognized it.

[seamany]

The post that solved it all for me PART 1

NOT MY POST, THIS IS MOBILEBLACKSMITH2535 VIA REDDIT

(It might sound like I'm yelling at you in this paragraph but these are just things I wish someone told me like years ago) Here is where I talk about everything law of assumption that helped me ACTUALLY become a master manifestor. The law of assumption, as I see it, is the law of being. You cannot experience what you are not being. Coming from a person that used to cry myself to sleep every night feeling frustrated, hopeless, and extremely tired of putting all this effort into something and getting absolutely nothing back, this shit is real. Please do not take this post with a grain of salt. Please do not toss my story in with the probably hundreds of other "I have shifted" threads/videos you have witnessed. If you want to shift listen to every word that I say. I can't explain why we have this power I just know that from November of 2020 to July of 2023 I have been working my ass of to get somewhere, anywhere. In between those 3 years I had an on and off behavior towards shifting. I used to force myself to forget about shifting for a few weeks because it hurt too much to think about it. I felt like I won the lottery and I couldn't cash in the money. It was awful and I wouldn't wish that feeling of hopelessness on any other conscious being. Sometimes I would watch shifting tik tok compilation videos on YouTube and get a surge of motivation that would soon die out along with any semblance of dignity and self-esteem I had left. I'm telling you not asking you to see me as a real completely sane person because that is exactly what I am. Even though I'm creative and spiritual (not religious, spiritual), I can't help but see things logically. It's just my nature. I like patterns, formulas, structured systems, explanations, science, etc. I knew the probability of hundreds upon thousands of people describing in detail their experience of shifting couldn't be a phenomenon but a real...thing. I, for some reason, never doubted the possibility of shifting, more my capability to do it. Along my journey I've had my moments of distrust surrounding shifting in itself, and as I rounded onto the 3rd year of attempts I had increasing feelings of dread and anger. I was angry at the world that I live in, feeling dreadful that I couldn't escape it all. Then on one fateful fateful day, specifically July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am, I shifted. It was easy and it was effortless. Just as everyone says, but that's not something I'd like to focus on in today's post. I'm not making this post to tell you how simple shifting is or to "let go" (whatever the fuck that means) or to change your mindset. Those things are all useless compared to the thing that just clicked for me on July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am. What I am going to tell you is going to be so stupidly straightforward that your mind isn't going to want to believe me at first. You are going to try to make it more complicated than it is, just like you probably did with shifting when you first learned about it. But assure you that you should take what I am about to say at face-value. You don't need to let go, you don't need to change anything about yourself, you don't need to "release blockages", you don't need to reprogram your subconscious mind. You are done. You have your desire already. You are finished and there is nothing left for you to do.

LOOK AT MY PAGE FOR PART TWO

[forthegothicheroine]

That Hamlet post reminds me, people blame Romeo and Juliet for "getting everyone killed", but the text itself very specifically blames the lords Capulet and Montague. If you want to get to the nitty gritty:

Mercutio got himself killed. Romeo was very specifically trying to not have a swordfight, and Mercutio decided to start one because he thought Romeo was being a pussy. Tybalt actually killed him, but if you're talking about who "got him killed," that was Mercutio fucking around and finding out.

Romeo killed Tybalt. This is the one death that I think you can reasonably lay at Romeo's feet. If he had run off with Benvolio and got the Prince's men, Tybalt would have been arrested. That said, if my best friend (no matter how stupid) was killed right in front of me and the killer told me that friend sucked and so did I, I cannot guarantee I would do differently.

Lady Capulet said she hired people to kill Romeo. He beat them to the punch on that, but I think it should be pointed out.

Romeo killed Paris in self-defense. There's a lot of different ways you can play this, and Paris did think he'd broken in to vandalize the tomb of his girlfriend, but once again Romeo specifically begged someone not to fight him and that wasn't enough.

Romeo killed himself because he thought Juliet was dead. Friar Lawrence had a stupid idea and Juliet followed through on it because her father was going to force her into bigamy (and arguably marital rape), so if anyone "got" this to happen it was Lord Capulet.

Juliet killed herself because her husband was dead, her cousin was dead, her parents had turned on her, the woman who she thought of as a second mother abandoned her, and she was in a room with one guy stabbed and another guy poisoned right as the law was about to break in. Once again, I don't know what I'd do in her situation.

My Shakespeare professor said that Romeo and Juliet is the only Shakespeare tragedy not caused because of anyone being evil- Lord Capulet and Tybalt (and Mercutio) are dicks, but they're not Iago or Richard III. None of them wanted the play to end in a pile of bodies. You can't even point to one specific act and say 'that was the specific action that caused all of this.' It's a surprisingly modern (as opposed to mythic) play in that regard.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #6 444 205

Fish!

The fish like to have a little drink :) Sadly as they drink the water around them they also drink their own pee, and that is the curse that they will have to live with for the rest of their life

#fish #fishfact #fish facts #fishblr #biology #zoology

( 2 notes )

🪼 clovergonads follow

Tasseled wobbegong women >>>>>>>>>>>

🐸 i-eat-skin follow

bitch those are goosefish

( 27,196 notes )

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore follow

Say what you want about fishblr updates, but I think this format for reblubs is a wonderful improvement over the previous one. One of the only times staff did good.

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore

@featherstar53 If reblub chains got too long, new reblubs would start appearing as darker and darker until you couldnt see the text anymore. It mimicked how light disappears as you go deeper in the ocean but the sunken code this webbedsite runs on never set a cap for how dark it gets, so eventually you would have to copy ad paste the text on the reblubs onto somewhere to read them.

🐍 swamplamprey follow

It sounds fake but it's true! You can still find some older fishblr post screenshots with this effect:

This even went for full abyssal mode users! In their case, the text would slowly turn from white to dark blue, effectively making it impossible to read against the black background.

🦞 fastest-claw-in-the-west follow

I think it would be super funny if they brought this back but for individual posts. Like the reblubs stay the same colour but the posts themselves get gradually and gradually darker until you can't see them anymore lol. It would be disastrous but also funny and it might finally stop some of you frys from being so addicted to this webbedsite

#im all for a bit of chaos lol #treasure trove: talking tag

( 730 notes )

🌿 invertlike-behaviour follow

Okay for the record. My eyes are Red because I'm a COMMON ROACH! RUTILUS RUTILUS! It's not because I smoke seaweed!

🌿 invertlike-behaviour

Okay Yes I smoke seaweed all day. But the specific reason my eyes are red is Not That

( 104 notes )

🦈 spiritually-placoderm follow

🫧 surgeonsturgeon follow

OP you forgot brackish water and the option for inhabiting both

🦈 spiritually-placoderm

Shut your inferior ass mouth up

🫧 surgeonsturgeon

#(i couldnt find the actual gif i wanted to use but this weird tiger shark will have to do) #(not sure why his fins look like that)

( 1,020 notes )

☀️ slenderfish follow

"ocean sunfish have over 40 parasite species" factoid actualy just statistical error. average ocean sunfish is infected with only one or two parasites. Parasites Georg, the mola who suffers from every ailment known to fish and has over 1 000 000 000 parasite species infesting his flesh and organs, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

( 193,239 notes)

🪷 trout-about-you follow

Selfieeeee :3 (ignore the two sea lampreys attached to my flesh)

🪲 toebiter follow

how did you take the picture you aren't holding your phone

🪷 trout-about-you

The sea lamprey on the left took it for me

( 58 notes )

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

FISH USED TO MIGRATE THOUSANDS OF MILES TO BREED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!

IN MY DAY PUSSFISH LIKE THIS WOULD GET EATEN ALIVE BY REAL RIVER MONSTERS FOR BREAKFAST.

🐟 darting-action follow

these are Siamese fighting fish bruh.... They don't have migration as part of their life cycle lmao

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

OF COURSE THE YOUTH CAN'T PUNCTUATE THEIR SENTENCES PROPERLY. I SHOULDN'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM THE SOFT FRY THEY ARE. ALWAYS GETTING RILED UP!

🔲 skip-hopper-deactivated

Ignore this guy, @darting-action. He's well known for saying offensive nonsense like this, I think he's bait and trying to get someone to bite.

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

YOU MUST BE ONE OF THOSE INBRED DOMESTIC SCUM OR HATCHED YESTERDAY SINCE YOU ENTIRELY LACK THICK SCALES. I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH. IF YOU GET TRIGGERED THEN THAT'S NATURAL SELECTION, SON. YOU SHOULD FIGHT ME IN REAL LIFE.

🔲 walrus-tits-in-my-mouth-deactivated

You really dont know a thing about natural selection, do you? Bettas have flashy fins because they have to seem threatening to possible competitors. They don't migrate so they aren't built for that. They're built for living in ponds and marshes, low oxygen environments, and by cod, they are built for fighting territorial battles! You shouldn't underestimate a fish literally called fighting fish. They're very tough and hardy fish and can even send larger fish fleeing!

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

SIAMESE FLAILING PUSSFISH HAVE LADY FINS BECAUSE THEY'RE WEAK AND SOFT AND HAD HUMANS DECIDE WHO THEY BREED WITH FOR THEM. THEIR QUOTE UNQUOTE "FIGHTING PROWESS" SURE DIDN'T SAVE THEM FROM BEING PRISSY LITTLE PRINCESS FISHIES FOR LITTLE KIDS DID IT? THE INDUBIDABLE FACT IS THAT THEY'RE MUSKIE FOOD.

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

Wait a minute... I recongize that picture on the right! That's from @betta-than-this 's OnlyFins! How did you get that picutre hmmm? Salmonidae? How on Ocean did you gain access huh?

🐠 betta-than-this follow

"Indubidable" is a pretty specific word to use. This you @salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated?

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

LMAOOOOOO GOTTEMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔲 aquarium-life-deactivated

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

🐟 darting-action

woag i never saw this entire chain before until it hit me on my dashboard. Why does this have so many notes

Thanks fishblr user walrus tits in my mouth for biology info i didn't know

🫖 burgle-the-turts follow

Woah woah woah we're just gonna ignore this guy using p*ssfish as an insult!!???? THE CATFISH SLUR????????? No one is going to bring this up!!!!!???????

🔲 tilapia11128-deactivated

does anyone in this thread smoke seaweed

🌊 herringageposts follow

date of origin: 28th of august, 2017

( 392,229 notes )

🟧 sponsored

Suffering all alone, handsome?

No need to anymore.

👄 pollywannacracker follow

Reblub with your favorite snack in the tags! I’ll go first: coral polyps! :}

🚬 shark-noir follow

@ninjalantern-999

#as for me #my fave is definitely my lower set of teeth when they shed #crumchy :D

( 295 notes )

🩸 must-lunge follow

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID HUMAN DROPPED ITS ELECTRONIC CAMERA IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!! NEVER GETTING THAT BACK BUB!!!!!! I'M TELLING ALL MY ISOPOD AND MUSSEL FRIENDS AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE INSIDE IT!!!!!

🧑 official-human-posts follow

ofishal human post

#ofishal human post #this post contains humans

( 891 notes )

🦦 hellofromtheotterslide follow

Wait, how come this site is called fishblr and not something like oceanblr or aquablr? Wouldn't that be more inclusive?

👑 goldielocks follow

I believe the name "fishblr" pays homage to the meaning of the word where just about everything in the water was considered a fish. It's why we have words like "shellfish", "whalefish", "jellyfish", "starfish".

Personally aquablr would work really well, too. There's a sizeable amphibious userbase on here.

🦐 worldwideshrimp follow

You forgot whale shark! Those arent fish either but are called fish

👑 goldielocks

....Whale sharks are fish. They are sharks. It's in the name.

🦎 eye-of-newt follow

But I thought it was a whale named after sharks? WHALE shark! Why else would they put whale up first?

👑 goldielocks

A whale named after a shark would be called a shark whale. You can take one look at a whale shark and see that, with its gills and fish tail, it is a shark.

⚪️ number1-seacucumber-ass-enjoyer-77 follow

Wait, then what about baby whales? Are those whales named after babies?

👑 goldielocks

If you're talking about the actual whale babies, then yeah. If you mean the mormyrids, small aquatic animals that can sense electricity, then no, those are fish. Sometimes names are inaccurate to what the animal really is.

🌌 themanta1234 follow

If you think about it, fishblr is also inclusive to aquatic tetrapods since they are lobe-fins, and therefore fish :D It's a term that can include everyone on here, the perfect catchall!

🦑 abyssal-gigantism follow

Ewwww fuck that definition. If mammals hear about them being fish on some sort of """"technicality"""" then this webbedsite is gonna get flooded with those self-important idiots! "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOO LoOk At MeEeEeEeEEE i'M a MaMmAL!!11!!! I TAKE CARE of mah BAAABIEEEES!1111 I'm SUCH a good MAMAAA!!! All those OTHER STUPID HEARTLESS ANIMALS could NEVER do as I DO!!! I LOVE sweating into my BAABIEEEES' MOUTH1!1!1!111!!! I'm FLUFFY and AWSUM and ERRYBODDY LUUUVSSSSS MEE!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! You should all LUV me TOO!!!!"

Is THAT how you want every fishblr post to look!!!!??????

🦛 drippohippo follow

😨

🪄 magicmanatee45 follow

DD:

🎼 humpbacked-musician-offishal follow

:'''((((

🐋 blainvilles-bitch follow

🕶️ egg-laying-mammal-of-action follow

:///////////

🐢 greenXD follow

i think jellyfish shouldn't be classified as fish because they're clearly living spaghetti

🌜 foolish-idol follow

Great fucking post everyone. Hit the air bubblers

( 60,376 notes )

🟩 ultrahyva-heihoi follow

Guys what the fuck kind of sponsors does fishblr have I just saw an ad for having parasites housed in me who are they advertising to 😭💀💀

#i swear the quality of this site keeps going down and down #if you see ads for parasites then report the shit out of em #fuck em my friend got early onset cataracts due to parasites

( 4 notes )

😃 doweopenandcloseourmouthtoday follow

Yes! :) :O :) :O :) :O :) :O

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 MAYBE I JUST WANNA BE YOURS

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: dazai does not get jealous. he especially doesn't get jealous over someone he's not even dating. because he's not dating you. he doesn't want to date you... right?

(wordcount: 5k; fem!reader, nsfw, lots of smut LOL idk what got into me this is the first fic ive written with more smut than plot in ages. but anyway: jealous!dazai, fingering, oral (f->m), semi-public/public sex. whiplash from dazai's thoughts (as always). unedited.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: hihi. SO this actually wasn't going to be connected to anything, but i decided like mid-fic that i wanted to make it a continuation to the adareader universe ive been considering building. i was too lazy to go check for inconsistencies, so if there's any dihfausihdfsudf just ignore them LOL. when i eventually make the masterlist for it and officially connect them all, ill go thru and double check for them. first i need to write them something with actual substance and not just horny posting LOLLLL.

Dazai is not a jealous man.

He’s not.

In fact, he’s the most un-jealous person in the whole world. He has no reason to be jealous, especially over you. He’s not dating you. Dazai never asked you to be his girlfriend, and that was intentional because Dazai doesn’t want a girlfriend. More specifically, he doesn’t want to be someone’s boyfriend. You’re just a friend—a friend that he sometimes fucks and occasionally seeks out to spend time with. He doesn’t want someone relying on him in a way a girlfriend would, and he certainly doesn’t want to rely on someone in the way a boyfriend would, because he doesn’t want the rug pulled out from under him when it inevitably goes to shit. 

The thought is suffocating, it makes his skin crawl.

Almost as much as the realization that the cop the two of you are assigned to be coordinating with is clearly head over heels enamored by you. Dazai scowls from where he’s standing a few steps behind you, watching as you go over the details of the file that the man brought to you—Dazai didn’t care to learn his name. And yes, Dazai means you because when the officer came over with the file, he didn’t even acknowledge Dazai’s existence and walked right over to you.

He still hasn’t acknowledged Dazai’s presence, staring at you with an adoring expression as you read through the file. Dazai thinks if this were some sort of cartoon, the officer would quite literally have hearts in his eyes—it’s disgusting, Dazai can hardly stand to watch it.

“Dazai,” you finally say, voice a soft hum. He likes the way you say his name—it rolls off your tongue prettily, and it makes his chest oddly warm. He’s not used to people saying his name with such softness; he’s used to anger, irritation, fear, but never this. He’s wondered how his given name would sound, he’s spent many nights imagining it, one hand pressed to his mouth and the other wrapped around his cock, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask you to call him by it. That’s a step too close to actual intimacy and he’s not willing to take it.

You raise your eyebrows at him, and Dazai realizes you must have said something after you said his name, but he didn’t catch it because he was too absorbed in the way you said his name to notice.

“Come here,” you say again, nodding your head for him to drag himself out of the corner he’s sulking in to come to you. He feels a bit too gleeful watching the way the officer’s expression shifts in surprise as he turns to look at Dazai, finally noticing him.

Dazai pushes himself off of the wall to take a few steps closer to you, and he may or may not stand a bit too close on purpose just to see the other man frown. He stands behind you, chest brushing your back as he looks over your shoulder to scan through the file you’ve been reading. It takes him twice as long as it usually does because he didn’t realize that being in such close proximity to you would make him as dizzy as it did, and he’s too stubborn to back off now. 

Your hair smells like vanilla, and Dazai can smell the faint scent of your favorite perfume dabbed on your neck, worn off throughout the long day. His attention strays from the file to you, tracing the smooth curve of your neck, dipping down to your collarbone and swallowing when he realizes that the top three buttons of your dress shirt are undone, the stuffiness of the tiny room and the lack of air conditioning causing small, visible beads of sweat to form on your skin. His breath catches as his gaze lowers just a bit more and-

You turn to look at him and his gaze snaps up before it can drop to dangerous territories, and Dazai catches the amused look in your eyes—you know exactly what he was looking at. Instead of having some shame, because Dazai has no shame, he shifts just an inch closer to you, one of his hands resting on your hip. He watches the way your lashes flutter the same way they always do when you’re trying to pretend you’re not affected by his touch, and his lips curl up into a small smirk.

“What do you think?” you ask after a second. 

To your credit, your voice isn’t as strained as he expected, so Dazai ups it a notch, fingers sliding from where they’re caressing your hip to trail across your inner thigh. All out of sight from the officer on your left, but Dazai can tell he’s aware that something is going on from the way his enamored expression starts shifting into a more awkward one.

Dazai gives him a smug, sardonic smile before saying, “I think our friend over here should go get us the CCTV tapes—that’ll be much more useful to us then a bunch of reports.”

The other man’s face shifts in confusion, brows furrowing and lips curving down, but before he can say no, you speak up and agree, “That would be great.”

Dazai rolls his eyes when it makes the man straighten and nod, “I’ll get it right away.”

Before he steps out of the room, Dazai tosses another look over his shoulder, this one colder than it is smug, and he says maybe a bit too snidely, “Don’t come back until you have them.”

The officer doesn’t reply as he leaves the room, and as soon as the door clicks shut, Dazai is pulling away from you to walk over to it. He locks it quickly and then turns to face you, tilting his head to the side as his gaze roves over your body. You’re leaning back against the table, eyebrows raised, and Dazai doesn’t stop himself this time when his gaze lowers to the swell of your breasts just barely made visible by your partially unbuttoned shirt.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, motioning for you to come over to him.

You don’t budge. Instead, you raise your eyebrows and say dryly, “There are cameras in here, Dazai.”

He pointedly looks up to the two corners of the room that they’re in and then back down to where he’s standing, silently telling you that this is a blind spot. After a moment’s hesitation, you push yourself off the table and make your way over to him. Dazai tilts his head back against the wall, looking down at you through his lashes as you come to stand directly in front of him. He pretends that his throat doesn’t bob when he feels your fingers slip into his belt loops.

“What’s gotten into you?” you ask, but your eyes are glittering so he knows you know exactly what the problem is—and to think he thought you weren’t cruel, you might just be the worst type of cruel there is, hiding it behind pretty smiles and sweet words. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous because that cop has a crush.”

“I don’t get jealous,” Dazai replies with a simpering smile, lifting one hand to cradle your cheek, breath catching as your eyes flutter shut, pressing your face into his hand. “I just didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Dazai thinks that you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen—he’s thought it since the day he met you, but he thinks it especially now when you’re leaning into his touch like it isn’t poisonous, like his hands aren’t stained with blood and his soul isn’t black and rotten. You deserve better than him, and that’s another reason why he refuses to take that next step: he knows one day you’ll realize it too. You’ll realize that you’ve fallen for a mask, that the man you care about doesn’t actually exist, it’s a thing that can barely call itself human pretending to be him.

He wonders if you know. He wonders if you know that something is wrong with him—he thinks that you must have some inkling after the bout of paranoia he had a few weeks ago when he was at your apartment, but he doubts you know the extent of it. He doubts you know that thoughts running through his head whenever that officer looked at you were anything but just casual jealousy; that every time he leaned in closer to you, Dazai’s fingers twitched in the direction of the gun given to him by the Agency that he’s only supposed to use in emergencies. 

Old habits die hard, Dazai has always been quite trigger happy. They never should’ve put a gun in his general vicinity.

 He leans down to ghost his lips below your ear, savoring in the way he feels you take in a sharp breath. His fingers tangle in your hair as he pulls your head back just enough to kiss the spot beneath your jaw that makes you writhe, and just as he expects, you let out a breathy moan against his ear that makes his head dizzy, your hands darting up to cling at the sleeves of his jacket.

“Dazai,” you gasp as he kisses down your neck. He hums in response, his free hand resting on your waist as he pulls you impossibly closer. “Are you sure…”

“I’m sure,” he says, and then adds smugly, “When am I ever wrong?”

He doesn’t have to see your face to know that you’re probably rolling your eyes at him, but he doesn’t give you the chance to make a witty remark about the first time the two of you met. His grip tightens on your waist as he flips you around so that your back is to his chest.

His hands immediately work to unbutton your slacks, lips finding their way back to your neck to pepper kisses up and down your skin as he watches the rapid rise and fall of your chest. He lets out a low groan against your skin when he slides his hand into your pants and feels just how damp your panties are.

“This better be for me,” he mutters more to himself than to you, nipping at the skin of your neck. His voice is a bit more rough now as he asks you, “Lace?”

He lifts his face from your neck to look at you. Your eyes are half lidded as the pads of his fingers trace the cloth of your panties, head lolled back against his shoulder, breath ragged and lips parted, but there’s something teasing in your gaze as it flickers up to meet his.

“The ones you like,” you breathe out, and Dazai swallows thickly. “I was gonna see if you wanted to come over after this.” 

“Shit,” he whispers, putting pressure right over where your clit is hidden, watching the way your thighs tremble. “Look at you, only I make you feel this good, yeah?”

“Don’t tease.” The whine that clings to your words makes Dazai’s head spin. He can already feel his cock straining against his pants and tries to ease some of the friction by pressing you back into him, rolling his hips against your ass. “Dazai-”

“Shhhh,” Dazai soothes with a grin, kissing up your neck to your ear when he hears the distress in your tone. “I’ve got you.” 

With practiced ease, he slides his fingers beneath your panties, middle finger dipping between your folds. He inhales sharply, immediately losing his grin when he feels how wet you are.

“This better be for me,” he repeats, a bit more seriously this time as he slides his finger between your folds, putting pressure on your entrance but not quite pushing in. “Hm?”

He waits for a response, relishing in the way your whole body trembles against him. He doesn’t even know if you know what he asked, you already seem so fucked out—lips wet and parted as you breathe in and out shakily, lashes fluttering and chest heaving.

“Tell me,” he presses, his free hand sliding up your body, untucking your shirt so he can slip his hand beneath it to feel your skin.

“‘course it’s for you, Dazai,” you say after a few seconds of confusion, like you were trying to remember what he asked. “What kind of question is that?” 

Dazai doesn’t respond to that, letting out a pleased hum as he kisses your jaw again. He also doesn’t give you the chance to say anything else, quickly plunging his middle finger deep inside of you. The sudden intrusion has your hand flying to your mouth to muffle the cry that escapes your lips—he almost wants to pull your hand away, but decides against it because he doesn’t want anyone else hearing you like this.

You try to rock your hips to get him moving, but Dazai’s hand flattens against your stomach, holding you still against him.

“Dazai-” you gasp his name again, this time your voice is more pitched, caught between a whine and a complaint.

“Patience,” he coos, but his voice is strained and his breath is heavier as your tight walls hug his finger, imagining that it’s his cock instead. He drags his finger out until only the tip remains inside of you. He teases your entrance again, tracing a gentle circle but not pushing back in. “Bet you could already take two fingers for me, yeah?”

“What if he comes back?” you suddenly ask panic flying through your eyes as if you’ve only just remembered where you are. Dazai is distinctly displeased by the thought of another man crossing your mind while his fingers are inside of you. “Dazai, what if-”

“He won’t,” Dazai answers you, making his displeasure known as he nips your neck. 

“How do you-”

“The corner that the disappearance took place on—it’s a blind spot for the CCTV cameras,” he answers before you can finish. Dazai knows this because he killed a target in that exact same spot two and a half years ago. “He’ll be gone for a while. He won’t want to come back empty handed to you.” 

Dazai doesn’t give you the chance to question him anymore, sliding his middle and ring fingers inside of you and watching as your jaw falls slack. To make up for the displeasure he felt at you bringing up that irritating cop, he fucks you hard with his fingers—you barely have time to bite the palm of your hand before his fingers are stretching your walls.

He thinks he might be pushing his luck—he doesn’t know if the cameras in the corners of the room pick up sound, and if they do, he doesn’t know how well they pick it up. Even if you’re doing your very best at muffling your moans, there’s no hiding the sloppy sound of his fingers driving in and out of your cunt—it’s wet and filthy, and it has Dazai’s head dizzy. 

His eyes drag up from where his fingers are plunging in and out of you back up to your face. Your pretty eyes are almost fully rolled back as he fucks you closer and closer to the edge and your lashes are wet. One particularly rough snap of his wrist has your hand falling limp from your mouth to your side and your lips parting in a moan that Dazai doesn’t dare allow anyone else to hear. Quickly, his free hand darts up to grab your jaw hard, turning your face toward him so he can press his lips to yours messily, swallowing the keening moan before you can let it out. 

He kisses you deeply, tongue tracing the inside of your mouth gently in contrast to the rapid thrusts of his fingers. You try to kiss him back, but you can hardly even breathe with how deep his fingers fuck into you. He knows you're close—he can feel it in the way your whole body is trembling, and how your pussy flutters around his fingers, so he picks up the pace, just as desperate to bring you over the edge as you are to get there.

He’s the only one that can make you feel like this. He’s the only one that can make your body shudder and writhe, he’s the only one that can make your eyes roll back in pleasure, he’s the only one and he needs to prove it.

“C’mon, baby,” he pleads against your lips. The pet name that spills from his lips is not the teasing bella he likes to hit you with like he intended—it comes out strained, breathy, just as desperate as he feels. The lack of control scares him a bit, but he’s too out of it for it to take hold. “C’mon, once on my fingers, then as many times as you want on my cock when we get home, alright?”

He doesn’t know what you’re trying to say, the noise that spills from your lips, muffled against his mouth, is a moan, caught between his name and a please and something else he can’t make out. Distantly, he thinks that the bandages on his forearm must be ruined, he can feel your slickness dripping down his hand to his wrist and he can hear the lewd sounds of his fingers pushing in and out of you. He doesn’t care—in fact, the thought only makes his lower abdomen tighter. 

“I’m gonna-” you gasp, the only word she can make out and Dazai grins.

“Yeah, you are,” he rasps, scissoring his fingers inside of you and rubbing his index finger over your clit, and you’re gone. 

Dazai groans when he feels you moan his name against his lips, hand dropping from your face to your waist to hold you upright as your knees buckle. You cum hard on his fingers, hips stuttering and stilling, and he can feel tears spilling over your cheeks. His cock is painfully hard now and he wants nothing more than to unbuckle his pants and replace his fingers with it, but he thinks that would be pushing his luck—he’s never had any semblance of control once his cock is inside you and he needs to keep an ear out for footsteps approaching the conference room. 

He rides out your high, pace slowing as he continues to fuck his fingers into your sensitive cunt, wiping your tears with his free hand once you’ve steadied yourself. You tremble, reeling from the intensity of your orgasm, and Dazai only removes his fingers when you claw at his wrist for him to stop.

His fingers are dripping with your cum, and though Dazai is aching for a taste himself, he instead lifts them to your lips. You’re still trying to get ahold of yourself, leaning back against his chest and breathing heavily, but you instinctually part your lips for him. His breath catches when you take both of his fingers into your mouth, lashes fluttering shut and tongue swirling around his digits as you taste yourself off of him.

“Fuck,” he groans, hand dropping down to rub the heel of his hand against his cock, desperately trying to alleviate the pressure. He has no idea how he’s going to hide this before the officer gets back and…

His thoughts trail off when you finally push off of him, your legs are still trembling, and your eyes are still a little hazy, but your gaze drops from his face to his rapidly rising and falling chest down to where he’s rubbing his cock through his pants. And then, you lower yourself to your knees in front of him.

“Oh, fuck,” he repeats, voice breathy this time and pupils blown wide as he watches your fingers work at the buckle of his belt.

Dazai almost wishes that the officer would come back soon, just so he could walk in on you with a faceful of Dazai’s cock. But if that happens, all of Ango’s work will go out the window because there’s no way he’s letting someone see you like this and walk out alive. 

Dazai’s cock twitches as soon as you free it from its confines. He’s already leaking an embarrassing amount of precum, and his tip is flushed red, but you waste no time before ghosting your lips across his length, suckling gently at the vein running along the underside of his cock before wrapping your lips around his tip.

Dazai chews at his lower lip, thighs tensing as he resists the urge to thrust his hips forward and shove his cock down your throat. Instead, his throat spasms as he swallows, reaching out to cradle the back of your head gently, carding his fingers through your hair soothingly.

“Lookit you,” he breathes out, voice wavering as he swallows another low groan. His fingers tighten in your hair just a bit, but he doesn’t push your face down on his cock, head falling back against the door as you work his cock further down your throat. His breath is ragged and heavy as your tight muscles spasm around him, desperately trying to adjust to the intrusion, and he can feel your nails digging into the bandages wrapped around his hips. “That’s my girl.”

Another loss of control that should probably concern him, but you’re quick to take his mind off of it with the way he can feel you let out a whine around him, nails digging a little bit deeper into skin as you take him fully into your mouth, lips flush to his pelvis and nose buried in his pubic hair.

His head falls forward as he pants, watching your throat struggle to adjust to him. He strokes your hair gently, silently beckoning you to look up at him because he worries that if he opens his mouth to speak, he’ll let out a pornographic moan, one that will be impossible to deny if anyone over hears.

Your lashes flutter as you look up at him, eyes wide and glassy with fat tears that roll steadily over your cheeks. 

Beautiful, he thinks hazily, and his—all his. No one else gets to see you like this, no one else gets to imagine you like this—you’re his. 

He chokes over air, free hand coming up to cover his mouth and hips jerking forward. He feels you gag around him and his hand drops to caress your cheek in apology, trying to wipe away your tears, but it’s clumsy and frantic—the sight of you on your knees for him, tears streaming down you face as you take him down your throat, is enough to send him spiraling over the edge.

His vision spots with black dots, the taut cord in his abdomen tightens and then snaps. He’s hardly able to muffle the moan that spills from his lips as his eyes knock back and his head falls against the metal of the door. His whole body tenses and spasms as he cums down your throat, he gasps for air, thumb still stroking your cheek as you struggle to swallow all of his cum.

It takes a minute for Dazai to regain some semblance of control over himself. By the time he has, you’re standing on shaky legs and tucking his sensitive cock back into his pants. His hazy gaze focuses on your face—your lips are wet and swollen, your eyes are still glassy, and this time Dazai doesn’t have an excuse as he lifts his hands to cradle your face and says quietly, “Mine.”

Your smile is teasing. “‘I don’t get jealous,’” you mock lightly, leaning in to press your lips against his. Dazai’s eyes flutter shut as his hand slinks around your body to your back, pulling your body flush to his as he deepens the kiss, sinking into the familiar feeling of your lips sliding against his. 

“I don’t have reason to be jealous,” Dazai murmurs, this time with a different meaning. He pulls back slightly so he can button your pants back up and tuck your dress shirt back into them, making sure you look presentable before the officer gets back.

Instead of teasing him again, your smile softens and you affirm, “You don’t,” and Dazai’s throat tightens. 

The thought of being in an actual relationship has always been suffocating to Dazai. Imagining having to spend the rest of his life with one person, having someone rely on him when his will to live is fickle at best and nonexistent at worst, becoming dependent on someone who could leave him on a moment’s notice… It makes his stomach churn with disgust, his chest tight with anxiety.

But when that faceless someone turns into you, Dazai realizes that the thought of a relationship is not quite as unappealing as it’s always been to him. Does it still make him skittish? Sure, but does it outweigh the green hue that colors his vision whenever someone looks at you and thinks you’re not his? Does it outweigh the bolt of fear he feels whenever he sees someone display interest in you, wondering if maybe you’ll get sick of his flighty behavior and give them a chance?

Absolutely not.

Dazai hears footsteps approaching the door he’s leaning on, and quickly unlocks it, motioning for you to stand back by the conference table. When the officer opens the door, the two of you are standing there casually like you never moved.

The officer gives you an apologetic smile that makes Dazai’s eyes twitch. “It doesn’t seem like there’s any CCTV footage from the area.”

Before you can respond, Dazai smiles tightly and says, “Wow, and it took almost twenty minutes for you to realize that—no wonder the police keep coming to us for help.”

You elbow Dazai, but he’s unrepentant, giving you a sweet smile before turning a cooler one back onto the officer. “If you don’t mind, we can finish the rest back at our office tomorrow now that we have the files. We have a date to get to.”

He doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re raising your eyebrows at him, but he keeps his gaze trained on the officer, finding sick satisfaction in the way the man’s eyes dart between the two of you, a dawning expression crossing his face.

“A… date?” 

“A date,” Dazai confirms, picking up the file and motioning for you to leave. He pointedly ignores the amused expression on your face as you make your way out of the room, walking past the officer who dumbly steps out of the way. “Thanks for the help… or, well, lack thereof.”

It’s only when the door slams shut behind the two of you, do you finally echo, “… A date?”

Hesitantly, Dazai confirms, “A date?”

When you don’t immediately respond, Dazai’s smile starts to freeze, considering that maybe you don’t want to date him and he read all of this wrong. You want to keep things casual, no strings attached. But after a few agonizing moments, you hook your arm around his and lean into him.

“Where are you taking me then, hm?”

“… It’s a surprise,” he replied.

A surprise for both of you, because Dazai hasn’t thought that far ahead yet. 

A tenseness that he hadn’t even realized was in his shoulders dissipates when you laugh and press your lips to his upper arm before resting your head against it. 

“Alright,” you agree, although he’s pretty sure you know damn well this is all spur of the moment. “Let’s go then.”

Though Dazai tries to rifle through all of the options of places you like to go, when the two of you step outside, all coherent thought washes right out of the window when you turn to look up at him, the setting sun casting an ethereal glow over your face.

“What is it?” you ask when he freezes in his tracks to admire you. “Dazai?”

For just a split second, Dazai can imagine it. He can imagine a life with you, and there’s no sign of any of the suffocation or discomfort he usually feels when he thinks of long term commitment too hard. He imagines waking up to you in the morning and falling asleep to you at night, he imagines spending his days laid up in bed with you sharing kisses and sweet nothings and he imagines dragging you around the city to show you off to anyone and everyone. His thoughts start to spiral out of control, and he’s glancing down at your ring finger, wondering-

“Dazai?”

Dazai’s thoughts come to an abrupt halt, and he swallows thickly when a more realistic image comes to mind—the expression on your face when you find out about his past, the disgust, the fear, the realization that he’s just not who he made himself out to be, that he’s been lying to you since day one.

“Nothing,” he says after a moment, voice a little raspy, so he shakes his head, giving you a disarming smile and clearing his throat. “You’re just so stunning that it leaves me at a loss for words, sweet bella.”

You don’t seem to buy it, but you don’t press, arm tightening around his as you make your way back over to your car.

As soon as you look away, his expression shifts into a more downcast one as his gaze tracks back over to you. It’s only a matter of time, he remembers. His past will catch up with him sooner rather than later, and no matter what you may insist about the past being in the past, he knows everything will change when you finally realize what all he’s been hiding from you.

… but maybe there’s not too much harm in indulging while he still can. He just has to keep reminding himself that he can’t get too attached.

“You should let me drive,” Dazai says sweetly. “So I can drive us to the place and keep it a surprise for you.”

You laugh in his face. “As if.”

You usher him over to the passenger seat before making your way back over to the driver’s side, and Dazai finds a genuine smile unconsciously curling at the corners of his lips. One that quickly falls when his fingers wrap around the handle of the car door.

He thinks, maybe, it might be far too late to stop himself from getting attached.

[pleasureable]

Star Shopping !

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ in which you’re asked to star in Thanos’ new music video

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you were a well known Instagram model, with your career being launched after you had posted a random selfie of you taken on your digital camera

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the virality of your picture practically launched you into virtual stardom with you gaining a pretty big following after that

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ your followers loved you for your beauty and style, as your instagram page was littered with pictures of you posing in clothing items such as big fur coats, mini skirts, leather tops and bottoms and bikinis

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you were pretty popular amongst rappers for some reason, with some even asking for permission to use your pictures in promo for their music

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you had been familiar with Thanos for a little while now as you had seen his performances a couple times—more specifically his performance at Rolling Loud fest. you liked his music and you thought he was pretty cute but you had never really interacted with him before

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Thanos was practically obsessed with you, though. he would always like your posts, even commenting “😍😍” on some of them—of course, fueling some rumors of hidden romance between you two

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he had finally messaged you one day, his name popping up in your dms

@thanos

u down to be in my music video, pretty ?

@y/n

sure why not lol

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ after a few days of exchanging messages you finally booked a flight (that he, of course, offered to pay for) to L.A—where the video would be filmed

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ once you had landed and settled into your hotel room a bit, you and Thanos had met up for coffee—he explained the vision he had for the video, as well as telling you what he wanted from you in terms of your appearance in it

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ “I’m thinkin’ of like, just having you as the main focus of the video” he said. you were incredibly flattered, how couldn’t you be? a big, hotshot rapper like him wanted to plaster your face all over a piece of his work. “main focus?” you asked, a touch of uncertainty in your voice. you had been in some music videos before, but just as a background character, never the lead girl. “Of course, I wanna showcase your beauty as much as I can.” he responded.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ your nerves were at an all time high as you drove to the filming location the day of the video shoot. once you got there the makeup artists began to work on you, minimal makeup, just as Thanos had earlier requested (he did want to showcase your beauty, after all)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the on-set costume designer had chosen to dress you in a tight, mini white dress—a ushanka style hat being placed on your head to finish the look

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the music video idea followed two lovers who spend the night recording each other on a camcorder, engaging in stupid shenanigans around a mansion, showcasing and capturing carefree moments of each other

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ walking onto set, you could feel thanos’s eyes all over you, admiring the way your body fit your dress and how the ring lights placed on set perfectly highlighted your facial features

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ once actual shooting had begun, the romantic chemistry between the two of you was undeniable

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the romantic poses you were placed in by the director and Thanos himself obviously weren’t doing anything to dampen the atmosphere

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ nearing the end of shooting, you were scripted to be holding the camcorder while staring into Thanos’s eyes, an implied kiss taking place before the screen would go black, thus marking the end of video

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ though, once you got close enough to his face to the point where the tips of your noses were touching, the sexual and romantic tension had gotten unbearable. you had been very much aware of Thanos’s attraction to you prior to him asking you to be in his video, and you never quite expected you and him to be in the predicament you were in now.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ without even thinking, Thanos smashed his lips against yours—to your delight. pent up frustration causing the kiss to be slightly lewd, though you both quickly pulled away before you got carried away

“that definitely wasn’t scripted mr. Thanos.”

“Of course it wasn’t, pretty.”