#Evan rambles A LOT

[desultory-suggestions]

I’m trying to find tips on how to decorate a basement (no windows, no natural light, exposed black ceiling/pipes) and all of these articles are about hyper finished suburban mansion basements 😭 please your honor I’m a renter! In a city!!! What do you MEAN install shelving units and a 12 ft mirror!

[chronicowboy]

god can't stop thinking about "you know when you meet someone and you just click?" "i do. i really really do". i don't think i appreciated it enough at the time so swept up in the canon bi buck of it all as i was but like. the delivery. mr stock i will kill you. a thousand layers of sadness in your voice as you stare longingly at the man right in front of you. a thousand labyrinths of sadness for me to get lost in thank you. but also like the implication. buck romanticising eddie in his buckway. yes i met you and everything clicked into place in that exact moment. buck baby, is that really what happened? except maybe it was. maybe something did slot into place the moment he laid eyes on eddie. maybe that was just another change that had buck snapping at everyone. a dog that's been hit its whole life takes time to acclimatise to a house of gentle love. they push back because they don't trust it. but he's learnt to trust it. and yeah we clicked right away. i met you and everything felt right. everything feels wrong now. everything feels so wrong. please don't leave me. please don't drop me off at the shelter the next time we get in your car. i want to stay with you forever, but now i'm just waiting for you to come home.

[capseycartwright]

kisses that travel from your lover's nose to their lips pretty please!

Eddie’s a little stupid with it, he knows. The flush in his cheeks doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere fast, and Buck joining him in the bathroom wasn’t exactly going to ease the pink blush any time soon. He’s a little stupid about it, drunk off endorphins and the  memory of Buck’s hands on his body, and still, Eddie can’t help but feel embarrassment snaking up his spine, Buck recognising the feeling before it could turn to shame clawing at Eddie’s throat.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Buck murmured, hands gentle as they came to rest on Eddie’s shoulders. Buck was beautiful. Eddie had always known he was beautiful, really, but it felt all the more evident now, Buck’s hair messy, and free of product, his own cheeks flushed pink and his eyes soft, the expression on his face more open than it had been in a while, no secrets left between them now. Buck was more beautiful than ever, there and then, and it was because Eddie could look all he wanted now, he knew – he didn’t have to tear his gaze away, keep up the pretence that he wasn’t madly, deeply in love with his very best friend. He could drink his fill and not worry about being caught doing something he shouldn’t be.

One, two, three.

Eddie took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say it.”

“The words don’t have to be perfect,” Buck reassured. “But I’d like if you tried,” he admitted, Buck always better than Eddie at voicing his concerns. “We’ve just had sex, for the first time, and now you’re in the bathroom and you seem to be freaking out, a little, so I’m – well, I’m a bit worried, Eddie.”

“You don’t need to be worried,” Eddie shook his head, leaning back against Buck. He couldn’t help but look at the picture they painted, the two of them standing in front of the mirror, Buck’s chest broad and glorious, the smattering of random tattoos inked onto his skin patterns Eddie wanted to map every inch of. They looked like a couple – they were a couple, Eddie knew, but they looked so comfortable with each other, even now, roughly seventeen hours into their relationship, that it kind of stunned Eddie.

Buck’s palm was broad, as he flattened it against the expanse of Eddie’s stomach. It made Eddie feel small, and safe, and he sort of wanted to cry.

“I just – I didn’t know it could be like this,” Eddie admitted, thumb stroking Buck’s wrist. He wanted to touch every single inch of Buck all at once, physics bedamned.

“Sex?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah,” he let out a shuddering breath. “It feels like I just figured out everything I’ve been missing my whole life,” he paused, for a second. Sex had been a weird one, for Eddie. Sex had been nice, and strange, and awkward, in the beginning, and then it had been the only way that he and Shannon could communicate, and he’d ran from it, with Ana, and with Marisol it had felt like a performance: a box he needed to move their relationship to the next phase.

Sex with Buck had been exciting, and it had felt electrifying – and it had been fun, in a way Eddie hadn’t expected. Buck had tripped over his own feet in his rush to remove his socks, and it had sent Eddie into a fit of giggles that had only been silenced with a kiss Eddie had felt right in the tips of his toes, and then Buck had gotten his hands on Eddie’s dick and every thought Eddie had ever had, or could have, had gone right out of his head, the whole world narrowed down to Buck’s hands on his body. It had been a revelation, the way Buck’s body had moved against his own, gentle, and firm, strong as Buck had moved Eddie right to where he’d wanted him, over and over, wringing an orgasm out of Eddie that had him ascending to a higher plane.

“It wasn’t just the sex, though,” Eddie continued. Buck had been quiet, so in-tune with Eddie that he had realised Eddie hadn’t quite finished. After, when they’d done the awkward clean up, Buck had tucked Eddie under his chin, voice low as they’d talked, gentle hands scratching through the overly long strands of Eddie’s hair. It had been calm, and quiet, and Eddie had luxuriated in the feeling of being held.

Eddie twisted, in Buck’s arms. “It was the after,” he hummed, drinking in Buck’s face at such a short distance. It was different, looking at Buck like this, rather than in the mirror. Like this, he could admire the way Buck’s birthmark stood pink against his skin, the slight furrow of his brow and the way his breath hitched, as Eddie pressed his thumb into the divot of Buck’s shoulder, a place he’d come to think of as his, after all these years.

“The after?” Buck looked a little confused.

“I just – I didn’t expect the intimacy of the after, because I didn’t really have that before. Sex was – sex was different, before, for me, and I found it hard to want to just – stay in it, like we did,” Eddie explained, hands on Buck’s waist. “But I want to stay in it, with you. It was – it was nice. I felt nice. You made me feel good, Buck, not just during the sex – which was like, objectively great – but in the after.”

“I’ve always liked the after the best,” Buck admitted, sounding a little shy. “You see so much – so much vulnerability, from your partner, in sex, but you get just as much of that after, too. When sex was – when sex was transactional, for me, a way to try and fill this void of intimacy, I didn’t appreciate how good the after was – I didn’t understand that’s where there’s so much intimacy too.”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “I love you,” he hummed, the smile turning to a big, bright grin as Buck began to trail kisses down the bridge of Eddie’s noise, a giggle escaping his throat as Buck kissed the tip of his nose, moving his focus to Eddie’s cheeks, chin, and lips, finally, the kiss chaste compared to the ones they’d spent the last hour or so exchanging, but still one that Eddie could feel right to his toes.

“Is it always this easy?” Eddie asked, and he didn’t need to finish his sentence for Buck to know what to ask: was it always this easy, sex and intimacy?

“No,” Buck shook his head, pressing another kiss to the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “Only with you.”

send me a kissing prompt

[aashiqeddiediaz]

the intimacy and soul deep love that comes with outright telling someone you’re worried about them…

buck and eddie have been individually and jointly dragged through the coals before this; but never have they explicitly said how they worry about each other or anything to that likeness

and while the whole point of tv is to read between the lines, to pick up expressions in lieu of time-restricted dialogues, there is something absolutely devastating about buck putting those words out there in the quiet of eddie’s kitchen, only to hear them echoed right back

and it’s also in the tone of his voice, something to the stubborn quiet way he sneaks past every single one of eddie’s denials to the heart of the matter that mirrors the way buck buried himself in eddie’s heart so long ago without his knowledge, and now it’s kind of like eddie’s version of confession, his safe space to repent, his safe space to find some direction in a way religion never did for him but buck does?

and there’s something about the expression on buck’s face too, the one we’ve seen so many times when he fears losing eddie, and i just think that for both of them (including eddie himself) to voice concern about eddie’s mental state essentially, something really bad is probably coming up

[buckleylove]

my favourite theory on what the ‘uncomfortable truth’ in 8x06 could be is the revelation that tommy had feelings for eddie.

we know that they’re using the same restaurant from the 7x05 date again, and my hc is that eddie only knew about that restaurant because tommy had tried to ask him out but eddie misunderstood and just took it as a restaurant recommendation lmao.

so i think the restaurant could be used as the catalyst for buck finding out about tommy’s past feelings towards eddie in one of two ways:

1.

buck and tommy go back there for another date. they’re reminiscing over their first date and buck makes a comment about how weird it was that they ran in to eddie and marisol.

(because it was weird, buck told maddie they’d picked somewhere out of the way, and then it turns out that eddie and marisol are there??)

tommy just goes silent and then admits what happened.

2.

the 118 respond to a call at the restaurant. this would make sense with the other calls in the episode if they’re sticking with the idea that each call will bring up old memories. so the man going through the divorce would apply to eddie, the restaurant would apply to buck, and the kid in the pipe would apply to eddie and buck.

and at the restaurant, buck finds out from eddie that tommy had recommended the restaurant to him. and it’s not a huge revelation itself because eddie genuinely saw it as a friendly recommendation, but it plays on buck’s mind and he confronts tommy which is when he admits he tried to ask eddie out.

and in both situations, tommy’s like ‘but it all worked out in the end, right?’. and buck’s just sat there like ‘yeah. right.’

then buck goes to maddie for advice on how tf to process and move on from the fact that his bf used to have feelings for his best friend (and tried to take him on a date to the same restaurant that he ended up taking buck to).

bonus if josh makes some kind of comment about how buck and tommy ‘must have that in common’.

[afantasyoffiction]

buddie fic recs, pt 2

yall i hit 250 posts a few days ago so here's the Updated Version of my first post! aka ive read and posted a fuckton of buddie content since then :)

also i still don't tend to read long novel length fics very often so all are under 100k (most aus being 50-100k), and most oneshots are 5-10k words

best aus

racing with the brakes cut by letmetellyluaboutmyfeels. holy shit holy SHIT this one was good. altered my brain chemistry good. fast and furious au that sounds like it should be unexpected but honestly is more in character than canon

friends don't mean nothing to me (its us) by Kwills91. buddie becomes friends before eddie becomes a firefighter, and its just done ugh so well it was so brilliant. like seriously spamming my friend's texts brilliant keep chortling to myself abt it brilliant just ugh so good

but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher. time loop buck pov where he thinks he doesn't love eddie back and its goddamn delightful ok

your fingerprints smeared on my heart (lead my back to you) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels. oh god oh GODS this one WRECKED ME. 1800s buddie soulmate au with modern buddie as well jfc i WENT INSANE. yep ive posted abt this one already and i probably will again jfcccccc

when the universe screams by bucksbelly. omfg girl dad buck au? njwnasjdbvjhlsdfbfjh good lord this one was AMAZING go read it go read it right now

our secret moments in a crowded room (they've got no idea about me and you) by allstarsneptune. jfc im only human ok u give me sports players taylor swift themed au and i EAT THAT SHIT UP this was brilliant and even made me tolerate a few baseball references

canon compliant (ish) feelings realisations/first kiss

to build a nest (to build a home) by Kwills91. (yes ive been slowly working thru this writer's entire ao3 archive and yes theyre all brilliant, so im only putting a few on here. go read them all). this one made me fucking cry (for totally unimportant reasons don't think abt why shush) its so sweet go forth and enjoy

the ebb of your tide by twobirdsonestone. firefighter convention in indeannopolis (how tf do i spell that) = only one bed! super fun super cutesy

call me hot and pretty by anon. honestly conceptually i thought this would be kinda cringe and it fully wasn't i was so along for the ride

short n sweet (can you tell its my favourite kind)

inappropriate use of federal funding by spotsandsocks. this one is so...teehee teehee very fun

last and forever by kwills91, post s8 ep 6 which is super cute

what would you prefer i call you by kwills91 (seriously go look them up already). buddie first fight but its adorable

sounding like the rest of my life by coupe_de_foudre. another fic where everyone knows buddie is married but buddie

friends don't by disasterbuck. so silly so fun so real honestly

an inch away from more than just friends by ummrys. if you too want sapphic buddie smut go forth and enjoy and yes it will make you gayer

anything to make you stay by intellectual_applesauce. teehee bc eddie notices something about green shirts...

angsty and happy ending

stay with me (you're all i need) by accio magic. yep i reread this one and yep im recommending it again they COOKED ok they COOKED

leave the light on (ill be coming home) by HMSlusitania. i could not for the life of me remember if id read this one or not before so i just read it again and it was just as good it was soooo sooo good.

that is by no means all of the wonderful fics ive read but it is the extent im willing to go through my ao3 history. pls also check out the original post which has plenty more! ur all welcome (its a mess of an ao3 history guys this post has taken me ages)

also i should maybe self plug? ive got two random eddie pov oneshots up under the same username but ill do a new post when i start posting my big hiatus fix it fic!

[leathercouchcushion]

Maybe I’m not thinking right but I’m hoping that the hurdle that Buck and Tommy face next episode deals with their first big fight and they have to deal with their relationship being clinger vs flee-er.

We know Buck is a clinger and will sink his nails in to try and preserve the relationship.

But maybe Tommy has a tendency to flee. Maybe the truth that Buck discovers along the way is that Tommy spent his whole life running away from something. Be it his father, or the truth about his sexuality, the embarrassment for not being himself earlier in his life or whatever stuff we don’t know about his past.

So they get its their first big fight about something and it ends with them both pissed off as hell and leaving each other for the night. While Buck goes to his friends and family to talk Tommy self isolates like he always does and starts preparing for life without his new friends and the inevitable breakup from the most stable relationship he’s ever had.

Since Buck talked to Maddie (and Josh) about their fight, Maddie tells Chimney about it and how Buck is desperate to save their relationship in any way but has no idea how since Tommy just disappeared. But Tommy was Chim’s friend first, and he knows he flees. So he goes to Tommy to try and get him to confront his emotions.

Chimney talks about the hurdles he faced with Maddie. How she’s run multiple times and is “always the first to leave” and how it ended up with him chasing her. She had to get her strength back and realize that she has people who love her and care enough to see her shine.

He doesn’t open up to Chim, but he takes his advice to heart and ends up running towards Buck instead of away.

And that’s the first night that Tommy talks about his tendency to run stemming from his childhood. Like how the last time that Tommy got into a disagreement with his friends he didn’t talk to them for 7 years (until of course he got a phone call asking to steal a helicopter for him).

As Tommy is telling him about how he can’t bare to loose Buck and that he was the best thing that had ever happened to him he ends up blurting out that he can’t bare the thought of leaving his partner because he loves him too much and the family that is welcoming him in with open arms.

Yeah, Buck starts to freak out because this is the first time a partner has said “I love you” first and he welcomed Tommy into his family so easily because he just fits. He ends up holding Tommy close and says “I’m sorry I ever made you scared of loosing me. You’re party of this family and I would not let you get away that easily”

Or something like this…idk this is just word vomit of the idea in my head

[lissa612]

Can someone point me to where in 9-1-1 canon it is shown that Buck thinks of “Evan” as a separate identity or a version of himself he escaped?

Because we’ve got Buck 1.0 that’s been clearly mentioned in the past as a persona he’s outgrown, but I can’t remember him ever saying anything like “That was Evan…This is Buck.” He started going by Buck because it was convenient. He liked it and perhaps considered it a fresh start along with the career he found to finally be his calling, so he kept the nickname…But even the reasoning there is speculation because I can’t recall him ever saying anything more than “Everyone calls me Buck now. I kinda like it.” But there were still people who would call him Evan. His girlfriend, his sister, his best friend when he wanted to make sure he was hearing him, and his therapist (who honestly should be the most mindful of his comfort with mode of address) just off the top of my head. The only time he seems upset when called Evan was when his parents did it after he apparently asked him to call him Buck…That seems to be more about them ignoring his wishes than any sort of visceral rejection of the name itself.

I keep seeing chatter about how it’s disrespectful of Tommy to be calling him Evan. But I can’t find anything in actual canon to back that up. You can head canon that Tommy ignored Buck when he introduced himself like “I’m Evan Buckley - Call me Buck” but that never happened. You can just as easily head canon that Buck blushed and told Tommy that he likes how he says “Evan” when Tommy catches that everyone else calls him Buck and tries to correct himself. I’d argue that one of those head canons fits better with actual canon, but there are arguments for both…Neither is absolutely wrong.

So you can totally head canon that Tommy is someone who ignored Buck’s wishes to be called Buck. But then you also have to head canon that Buck, despite all the progress he has made through the years, is someone who would actively pursue someone who has shown they ignore his wishes - Something we have seen in canon to be a boundary for him. Which is fine if you want to do that…Head canons allow for all kinds of freedom in interpretation. But it’s not canonical fact.

Buck has historically disassociated with parts of his past self with his software upgrades from Buck 1.0, but when was the last time he did that? Buck 3.0 was back in season 4. He’s grown and changed a lot since then without needing to proclaim himself to be Buck 4.0. But beyond that, he’s never proclaimed there to have been an early beta version of the software called “Evan”. Really the only thing we know was upgraded between Buck 1.0 and Buck 2.0 was how Buck handled sex and relationships. Was “Evan” the base code in Buck 1.0? If so, has the code changed so much to have erased that? (Again, there’s nothing explicit in canon, so we can head canon that all day).

Bobby noted at the end of the season how much growth he has seen in Buck. I don’t think anyone who has watched the show could argue against the truth of that statement.

That is canon.

But you can ponder on it and come up with head canon…Perhaps what we are seeing is a more self-actualized version of Buck who doesn’t need to think of any progress he’s made in terms of upgrades because the therapy has finally made him realize he is all of those versions of himself and they are all him - He is the result of everything he has experienced and everything he has done and every decision he has made, and who he is will keep constantly evolving with every new experience and decision.

Regardless, Evan Buckley is Buck. And he is Mr Buckley. And he’s Firefighter Buckley. And he’s Buckley. And he’s Evan.

Unless he’s told someone to NOT refer to him as one of those names and they do anyway, they aren’t showing any disrespect by referring to him in any of those ways. We have examples in canon of that happening. We also have examples of viewers seemingly deciding it happened without canonical basis.

That’s a head canon. Have fun with it but remember to not force it onto others.

[thr4shit]

Happy anniversary to

"The Day The World Ended"

AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN FUCKERS!!!

HAVE SOME GIFS FROM MY COLLECTION!

AND AS ALWAYS...

What up, hybrids!!!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS!

Evan out!!

[my-brain-soup]

EDDIE BEING THE FIRST ONE TO GET TO BUCK AND HELP HIM LIFT THE VAT IN THE HAND SANATISER FACTORY

[lostreverb]

thinking abt athlete!warren (before he quit) like...

(assuming it's soccer) you don't care about sports like that but you're forced to go to a game for whatever reason and you're bored out of your mind then you see him. he stands out so easily because of his long hair (that's of course begrudgingly half tied up due to the rules) and the fact he's never really close to where the action is happening (cause he really just rather not be there). you watch him as he wipes off sweat from his face with the hem of his shirt, showing off his abs and he catches you looking at him and he smiles for the first time during the match. you'd go to more games (and even practices) just to crush on him from afar and he'd always entertain your attention but never actually go after you.

in terms of skills he's one of the best on the team but he's an awful teammate and he can lose his temper sometimes so he pisses everyone off by often getting red and yellow cards (the gif is probably what he looks like when he thinks he unfairly gets a card lmao) and leaving them shorthanded. (probably as he cares less abt it he just starts getting them on purpose). and the coach is always yelling at him to pay attention. but when he really gets into it?? oh my god it's the hottest thing ever how easily he can maneuver the ball and do all kinds of tricks.

i'm imagining like you develop this crush on him and then all of a sudden he just doesn't show up to games anymore and you're devastated. then a year or two later you see him get arrested and you wonder what would've happened if you actually ever got to like be with him.

[chronicowboy]

i honestly don't know how evan buckley does it. if eddie diaz (half of my heart) came over to my apartment to drop his son (the other half of my heart) off for a movie night smelling like his "fuck me" cologne and then performed a well-worn incredibly domestic routine of giving me instructions for that night (that i absolutely do not need) just to twist it into a silly little joke to make us laugh and then knew me well enough to try to catch the popcorn i throw at him as retaliation in his mouth, well i would simply tackle him to my bed. rip buck buckley </3

[kanerallels]

Something I love about the pirate crew in my book series is that the main crew members I've focused on (other than the captain and first mate) are just delights. We have Hates Being In Charge Ever, Hogging All The Page Time, Cool Sister With A Gun, Grumpy PTSD Boy, and The Singular Brain Cell

[meep-meep-richie]

I’m just hoping people won’t ruin Buddie for me by slapping on BuckTommy. Cause we still have so many great Buddie moments besides other beautiful storylines. Yes i’m a buddie shipper and a great fan of BuckTommy and i’m just enjoying both. The Buddie and the BuckTommy moments, but making all the BuckTommy moments be about Buddie is starting to annoy me.

[grapejuicegay]

Sometimes I just start thinking about this moment - paired with Maddie's "I just think that maybe you're not sure of your own feelings yet. And if there's something that you need to tell Eddie, you will. Just, in your own time" - and then don't stop thinking about it.

Maybe I'm just reading into it but the way this moment moves. Eddie steps forward, Tommy steps up to exactly where Eddie was, Buck turns to look where Eddie was, doesn't find what he was looking for but still finds something good. It's not just ep 4 and 5 where the focus on Eddie blows me away, it's also this.

[911is]

The relationship that is Buck and Eddie.

Like how can I even explain them; I really can’t atleast not smartly or as effortlessly as other people can.

How do I say this ? Buck and Eddie are each others soulmates.

They’re each other’s person; you know. They rely on one another and they respect each other on the same level. They don’t see one as on higher level or that their relationship is that one is something and the other isn’t.They’re equal to each other.

Buck is Eddie’s- he’s Eddie’s best-friend and someone eddie has no problem telling things too. Because he knows Buck will listen he knows Buck will have his back and be there for him to bed of his abilities.

And the same thing goes for Buck. He. Could go Eddie and tell him things he couldn’t Maddie or Bobby. He knows telling Eddie things are a judge free zone; and it’s more of just listening and being there for him. And even if they aren’t telling each other things the exact minute that it happens- they know eventually when the other is ready to talk about they’ll talk about it.

And they have their moments where they hide- when they think they should be able to handle things on their own. And I don’t know how else to put it 😭

But Buck and Eddie are their own genre of love and understanding. It’s nothing the other won’t do for the other or try to do you know ?

They are in love and have so much love for the other- and it’s like they won’t have that with anyone else.

Because no one else could compare

Because no will know what it was for buck tasting Eddie’s blood—No one will know what it felt like when it splattered across his face.

No one will feel how felt trying to claw his way through the dirt for Eddie

Won’t know how he felt when he lost Christopher in that tsunami and didn’t know how to tell his best-friend that he did.

No one will understand how Buck feels when he hears gunshots and Eddie isn’t around him.

They won’t understand that even though Eddie had a straight face the entire- he was ridiculously worried for Buck when that fire-engine blew up on-top of him.

They won’t understand that even though he was pissed during the lawsuit; all he wanted was to be able to see and talk to his best-friend

Won’t get that Eddie was afraid that Buck valued his life less than everyone’s and the only way to get him to be serious- was to give him an important part of himself.

That won’t understand 3:17

They cant understand the fear of losing and wanting someone like that. They won’t understand why Eddie and Buck need each other and have each other.

Honestly no one who tries and has tried being being with them will understand.

And because of they won’t ever understand it’ll probably be the reason they can’t ever be in a relationship with them.

___________________________

In my mind Buck and Eddie are inevitable