#Evan is my screwed up baby

[ya-what--ya-erster]

I don't know if I have said this before

Those of you who complain about how Evan never apologizes even though he has a whole "apology song"

THE WHOLE POINT OF WORDS FAIL is that sorry doesn't even cut it! That's the entire point! To expand on it a bit, the point is that NOTHING he says will ever make up for everything he did. Words Fail. Huh. Maybe... maybe the title means something? The whole deal is that saying sorry won't ever be enough.

Thank you for tuning in to my DEH thoughts have a nice day.

[carewyncromwell]

“Hey, Dad, look at me: Think back, and talk to me -- Did I grow up according to plan?”

~“Perfect (cover)” by At Sunset

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animation made with EZGif // my other accompaniment while drawing this

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Um... “happy” Father’s Day, everybody? 😅 Here’s some Jacob Cromwell content to mark the occasion -- specifically Jacob content that also features his estranged father, Evan Bach!

Those of you who are familiar with Jacob and Carewyn’s backstory are probably already aware that Evan was a pretty poor father. He tried continuously to shape Jacob in his image and only vindicated the opinions of others labeling him as a “delinquent”; he actively plugged out of his daughter Carewyn’s life from an emotional perspective, leaving her to be raised solely by her mother and brother; and worst of all, he abandoned his wife Lane and their children after the arrival of Jacob’s Hogwarts letter, unable to accept that his wife had lied to him about her and their children’s magic for so long and not wanting any part of the Wizarding World he’d have to join to be part of their lives. But at the same time, I never saw Evan as an inherently bad person, so I wanted to explore the generational trauma that both Evan and Jacob suffered through, and how it ultimately shaped them as people.

Evan Bach was the only son of Josef Bach, the son of a German immigrant raised largely by his uncle Jakob after the death of his father in the first World War. Josef learned from an early age how to lie to stay out of trouble with both his uncle and the authorities, and coupled with his chronic alcoholism, this led to him getting involved with a lot of petty crime. Josef’s childhood sweetheart Margie thought that having a family might help coax Josef to stay at home with her more, rather than spend his nights at speakeasies and pool halls, and at first, it seemed to work -- Josef wanted to put on a good face for his wife and newborn son, so he tried to hide his more illicit behaviors from them. Then Britain entered World War II, and Margie was forced to take one-year-old Evan out of Westminster and into the countryside to safety, leaving her husband behind. Soon Josef fell head-over-heels into organized crime, which actually flourished during the Second World War in Britain with most legal authorities having to focus on the war effort, and he soon became very rich working as an “enforcer” for a prominent London gang who participated in dozens of protection rackets. All the while, Josef wrote letters to his wife and son claiming he’d used that Ivy League education he’d convinced Margie he’d gotten somehow to land a job for the British government, and that with the profits he was making as part of the war effort, he’d bought them a huge house on an acre of land that they’d be able to enjoy together once the War was over. For Evan, who had next to no memories of his father aside from what his mother told him, he clung to these written lies enthusiastically, endlessly proud of the man he thought his father was and looking forward to the day that he and his mother would finally get to return home and meet him.

Sadly, while in the country, Margie became very sick and died in the winter of 1943, just before the end of the War. Following his wife’s death, Josef became all the more devoted to his gang life, and soon extortion, arson, and murder became everyday occurrences. Even so, on those few occasions when Josef would speak to his young son Evan on the phone, he’d lie about the weird noises and explosions the boy would hear in the background, saying that he’d be there to pick the boy up when he returned to Westminster and he’d take them home to their beautiful (and completely fictional) house outside the city. When the War was over, though, Evan did not find his father waiting for him at the train station, but instead his great-uncle Jakob -- for Josef, it turned out, had been lying to a lot more people than just his wife and son: he’d also lied to his bosses that he had no wife and children. And in order to keep up that charade, he couldn’t have Evan live with him -- so Josef asked "Uncle Jakob” to pick Evan up and take him in instead. The revelation of Josef’s lies and subsequent abandonment shattered Evan in a way he had trouble articulating to anyone, though he tried to once, when confiding in his future wife, Lane --

“I know what you mean. About your father, I mean. ...My father...wasn’t like yours, really. He was a crook, a liar...a petty criminal, in every way. ...But I know what it’s like, seeing the love other people seem to have for their kids and just wondering, ‘...Why? Why didn’t I have that, why couldn’t I have that? Why does my father have to put himself, and his wants, and his vices, first, instead of his family? Why isn’t he like those parents who, when faced with a tough choice, always choose their kid? ...Why didn’t he choose me...?’”

Not long after, Josef’s lies and crimes finally caught up with him, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment for all of the violent crimes he’d gotten wrapped up in. And so Evan was raised by his great-uncle, who desperately tried to take advantage of his “second chance,” raising the orphaned son of the boy the old man had raised as a son himself, and teach Evan to live an upstanding, honest life. Evan was so haunted by the corruption of his father through his addiction to alcohol, his proclivity toward violence, and his pathological lying that he was determined to be a man who would provide for his family the right way -- one who would be a proper role model for them, who would model the correct way to behave and instruct them about how to do the same. A man who wouldn’t let his son throw his whole life and potential away the way his father did.

Unfortunately Evan’s rosy view of fatherhood was complicated when his son -- named “Jacob” for the man who had largely raised him and had passed away five years previously -- ended up being both a wizard and a completely different person than Evan himself was. For as conventional and people-pleasing as Evan was, Jacob was opinionated and eccentric. For as rule-abiding and respectful of authority as Evan was, Jacob was rebellious and irreverent. For as uptight and conservative as Evan was, Jacob was wild and sometimes even violent, when provoked. Add to this Jacob’s distinct disinterest in any of the classic “father-son” activities Evan had envisioned them doing like fishing, playing catch, and going to sports games, as well as the boy’s frequent “misbehavior” (in truth outbursts of underage magic) that would get him into trouble at school, and Evan honestly didn’t know what to do to alter his son’s course. And because of his departure, Evan never saw just how hard his son worked to get top grades at Hogwarts, only to have his life upended by Lane’s father Charles and his criminal organization R and get locked in a magical portrait for seven years. Evan also never saw Jacob pull off the best, “underdog”-style comeback imaginable and graduate the school he’d been expelled from with honors so as to become a world-renown freelance cursebreaker and magical researcher. Nor did Evan ever see just how loyal, heroic, brilliant and loving of a man Jacob ended up becoming, even without his father there to mold him into what he thought he should be.

But perhaps, in a sad way, that’s the way things had to be. Evan had no desire to be part of the Wizarding World, the place where Jacob felt more complete and “himself” than anywhere else. He had no desire to lie to the people around him or to live a life outside of the straight and narrow path that had helped him move past his father’s tarnished legacy. He’d wanted to give his wife and children what he hadn’t had -- a stable, peaceful, middle-class life in Westminster, where they could just live normal, modest lives and grow into normal, upstanding people with normal, respectable careers. He’d failed in that...and ultimately, Lane -- the woman he loved, who chose him over her abusive family, who he cherished so much for having chosen him, over any other man in the world -- had chosen their son over him. Just as Jacob chose Lane over him...just like how their daughter would’ve chosen Jacob and Lane over him, if she’d had the choice. It’s not like Evan could’ve molded her any better than Jacob, even if he’d tried -- Lane said she was just as “normal” as she and Jacob were. And if Evan had stayed, it no doubt would’ve been out of duress, rather than out of sincere loyalty -- for how could he not resent a woman who he bared his heart and soul to and worked day and night to provide for, only to find out she had lied to him from the very beginning? Would he then only be a pocketbook for his family -- someone to write the bills every month, rather than someone to lead, protect, and guide them in being upstanding members of society? Someone for them to respect, love, and be devoted to, the way upstanding families were supposed to? Was he just meant to accept this life he’d never chosen for himself -- a life where he had to bow to the whims of the rest of his family, just because they had these bizarre, mysterious powers he didn’t have anyway to curb or restrain?

So perhaps Evan leaving ended up being the best outcome for all parties, however cowardly and cruel it was. If nothing else, the Obliviators assigned to keep tabs on Evan after his departure never found any evidence that he tried to expose Lane’s magic or the Wizarding World to any of his friends, associates, or remaining family, or even to the Muggle authorities. He never even made up any stories explaining away his departure to cast Lane in a bad light or absolve himself of blame -- not of her having an affair, nor of her being involved in any criminal activity, impropriety, or abuse. On the contrary, Evan always shut down any accusations of that nature, whenever anyone would suggest them.

“Lane lied to me,” was all he’d ever say. “That’s all it was, and that’s the last I’ll say about it.”

It seemed that, no matter how much Lane’s betrayal had hurt him and how much he resented how their children had chosen to follow her down a path far removed from the upstanding society he’d so wanted them to contribute to, as he did, Evan was an honorable enough man that he refused to tarnish his ex-wife’s name with lies and false accusations. For however poor of a father he was to Jacob, and however justified Jacob might be to hate the man, that honor at least can be respected.

[myjelllybean]

Who's the dad

This is a Evan Buckley (9-1-1) fanfiction I have finally decided to post. It is the first or second fanfiction I have written in my whole life so this is probably bad. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it.<3

Summary: A few months after a one-night stand leaves (Y/N) pregnant, she unexpectedly meets the baby's father at a BBQ at her dad's fire station.

The blonde guy was hot, (Y/N) had to admit. His baby blue shirt lets his eyes glow in the most perfect way.

“So why are you here today?”, (Y/N) asked. They both had a silent deal: no name’s, no prying for information.

“Hard day at work”, the man answered. “You?”

“Hard week.” (Y/N) knew she was already drunk, but she ordered another tequila. In the afternoon, she brought her kids to their grandparents, Bobby and Athena. The reason she told them: I need the evening for drinking until I don’t even know my name anymore.

She knew drinking wasn’t going to solve her problem, but it would numb her for at least one night. It would make her forget the pain.

The man nodded, but she didn’t even know what she had said before.

They drank a few drinks together until both of them saw black spots dancing in front of their eyes.

(Y/N) knew it was wrong what she wanted to do know. She wanted to kiss this man. She wanted to forget why she was here tonight. She knew exactly how wrong it would be. How disappointed everyone would look at her. But screw it. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

She leant forward and pressed a kiss on his lips. It felt so right, but so wrong. It didn’t matter. The blonde deepened the kiss. The next thing (Y/N) knew was that they were in the man’s apartment. In his bed.

___

(Y/N) did her best to hide the baby bump – but it didn’t help much. Maybe she could tell everyone she has just eaten too much when they were in Europe. She hasn’t seen anyone of her family in the last 5 months. They didn’t know she was pregnant and they are not supposed to. Half a year ago she packed her stuff and drove away with the kids.

After her husband died and she slept with this stranger, she had to leave. She wasn’t able to stay anymore. She was ashamed of herself. How was she able to sleep with someone just some hours after Henry died? They weren’t always happy but she loved him. He had been her world. Until he was gone.

“Mommy? How much longer we have to drive?” James asked from the back of the car. He was the most impatient of her kids.

“Only around half an hour then you can finally see grandpa and grandma again.”

(Y/N) heard a sigh from her son and chuckled.

“Is there going to be cake? Is grandpa going to make pasta for us?” Cameron. She and James are twins and couldn’t be more similar. Both impatient and always hungry until they ate two bites and complain about being too full to eat any more.

“I don’t know. I have never been to a party at the station.” Nobody knew they were going to come. It was going to be a surprise.

Suddenly, Emily began to cry in her seat. The two-year old always slept in the car, but when she woke up, she always had a shock and started to cry when she noticed they were driving.

“Liv, can you please give Emily her pacifier?” The 14-year-old didn’t seem to hear her mom, as she had her headphones in her ears and scrolled through TikTok’s.

“Liv! Give your sister her damn pacifier!” Finally.

After two weeks in Europe, (Y/N) was already super annoyed. She tried to keep it cool, but it wasn’t easy to be with four kids and pregnant when she didn’t have her husband around.

___

Just a few minutes later, (Y/N) parked in front of the firehouse. She had been here before. Not inside it but she had dropped off her father a few times when his car was at the car repair.

“Ok! We are here! All out of the car!” (Y/N) picked up her youngest and followed the rest of the kids inside the firehouse.

She didn’t see many people downstairs, but around 50 people were upstairs.

“(Y/N)? Hey! You’re back! Where were you in the last few months? We tried to call you but you didn’t answer. We were so worried!” Bobby literally ran to her and hugged her as tightly as possible with Emily between them. “She grew up so much”, he said, reaching out to stroke Emily’s back.

“Yes. She absolutely did.” (Y/N) could see the worried and exhausted expression on her father’s face and immediately felt sorry for not even writing him and Athena a message that she and the kids were ok.

“May I introduce you to the team?”, Bobby asked after hugging the twins and Liv, who finally put away her headphones.

The 118’s Captain led his family to a bunch of people in uniforms.

“These guys are Eddie, Chimney, Hen and Buck.” (Y/N)’s breath caught in her throat. Fuck. The super-hot guy stood in front of her. With his uniform he looked even better that in his baby blue shirt he wore the last time. Why the fuck did she still remember what this guy had worn when they met in the bar?!

“Meet (Y/N), Liv, James, Cameron and Emily.”

“Hey! Nice to meet y’all”, (Y/N) said overly friendly, trying to hide the surprise, as well as Buck did.

“Grandpa? You have cake?”, Cameron asked Bobby.

“Of course. A party without cake isn’t a party. Come on, I’ll show you all.” Bobby led the kids away from (Y/N) and the team, over to the kitchen island on which many plates of cake were standing.

“’So… you are Cap’s daughter?”, a brown-haired man asked, who (Y/N) remembered as Eddie.

“Yepp, that’s me.” (Y/N) looked at Buck who looked just as surprised, as she felt.

“So, you are Buck?”, she asked him just as a try to build a conversation. She tugged gently on her shirt, as she didn’t want Buck to notice her baby bump.

“Uhm… yes. I am. Evan Buckley. So… these are your kids? You look quite young”, Buck asked and (Y/N) furrowed her brow until she realized, they haven’t talked about ages when they spent the night together. She was quite young for already having 4 kids. She had Liv when she was 16, but she barely told people, as she always got these judging looks.

“Yes, they are.” (Y/N) stared at the ground, unable to hold eye contact with the man she had a breathtaking night.

“Father’s not in the picture?”, Eddie asked and (Y/N) could see that Buck was relieved, that his friend asked the question, so he didn’t seem too suspicious.

“Um, no. He died 5 months ago. Car accident.” Instead of staring at the ground, (Y/N) now looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, which always threatened to flow freely, whenever she talked about her late husband.

When she finally managed to make eye contact with Evan, she could see pain written over his face. Her husband died 5 months ago, around the same time, she slept with him. Had he been some kind of replacement? He knew they agreed to one night – no personal information, but it still hurt to know she didn’t actually feel the tiniest bit. She only had tried to compensate everything.

---

Around 3 hours later, in which the 118 got a small call once but came back after only one and a half hour, they all sat at the big table, because it was dinner time. Most of the time, (Y/N) stood on the sidelines, as she didn’t really feel comfortable around all these people she barely knew, and Buck. Nobody seemed to have noticed the baby bump which was covered under her shirt.

And now, (Y/N) even felt nauseous and had cramps in her lower belly. Her other pregnancies had gone quite well, except the last few months with the twins, but this pregnancy was terrible. She already had to go to hospital 4 times in the last 5 months, as she couldn’t keep anything down and had been severely dehydrated.

After only 2 bites, (Y/N) had to lay down the fork because she felt like she would throw up right away if she ate only one more bite. She had already thrown up breakfast and everything she drank today. She was lucky no one noticed she hasn’t eaten a piece of cake before.  

“Are you ok?”, the brown-haired man from before asked. Eddie? (Y/N) has always been terrible with names and couldn’t remember any. It took her 2 weeks to even remember Henry’s name after she met him, something he also made fun of, even years later.

“Uh yes. Just not feeling too great today”, she answered, trying to suppress the feeling to be sick. Her throat felt tight and her stomach felt like it was twisting and turning. The cramps were still present. She knew she wasn’t having a miscarriage as she once had one, and it felt different. The symptoms were pretty much the same, but she had another feeling. She had felt like something was missing, but this here wasn’t any better.

“You sure? You don’t look too good and you haven’t eaten much. Don’t you like the food?”, her father intervened now.

“The food’s great. Really. I haven’t been feeling my best today, that’s it.”

“Do you want one of the medics to take a look at you?” Bobby really seemed worried, but his daughter waved him off.

“Dad. Don’t make more out of it than it is.” Her dad made an acknowledging sound and (Y/N) thanked him silently with a small nod.

(Y/N) fidgeted with her hands, a nervous habit, she always did when she felt uncomfortable. Today, this many people were too much. She has never liked being around many people for a long time. She felt like everyone was staring at her and making fun off her or thinking of her as a disappointment when she did something wrong. Her kids were different, except of Liv. Liv came after her mom in these things, while the others luckily came after their dad and were the most social persons in this world.

Everyone looked at (Y/N), as she suddenly stood up, because a wave of nausea waved over her. As fast as possible she went to the restrooms, but only made it to the sink, where she threw up the bit of water she had managed to drink before. She rinsed her mouth and looked in the mirror. She looked like shit. Her skin was pale and her lips dry.

The door opened, and a woman stepped inside. She was around as tall as (Y/N) was and wore a wine-red shirt, that showed she worked at the 911 dispatch center. Had she been at the dinner table before? Or has (Y/N) just not seen her?

“Oh hey. Sorry. Just needed a break from out there. Who are you? I have never seen you here before. I am Maddie by the way. Chimney’s fiancé, Buck’s sister.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. Buck’s sister?

“(Y/N). Bobby’s daughter. Nice to meet you.”

“Are you okay? You don’t look too well.” Again, this question. No, she wasn’t ok. But she didn’t say anything, so everyone should stop asking her. If she wanted someone to know she wasn’t well, she would tell.

“It’s okay. Just not feeling my best today.” Maddie nodded.

“Ok.” She didn’t pry further to get information, what (Y/N) was very thankful for.

“Soo. You are Bobby’s daughter? Athena has never mentioned, that Bobby has a daughter. She usually talks about everything.” Maddie furrowed her brow.

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders.

“He doesn’t like talking about his private life too much.”

(Y/N) went back to the table, after she was sure she wouldn’t have to throw up again. But when she arrived at the dinner table again, she felt she was dizzy. Congratulations. First, she was sick and now she was dizzy because she didn’t drink or eat enough today.

She caught Bobby’s concerned gaze as he was looking at her, before everything went black.

___

“Heyyy! Here we go. You with us again?” She felt something painful on her chest and after a few moments she realized it was someone performing sternal rub to bring her back around. (Y/N) grumbled something.

When she tried to sit up again, there was a firm hand on her shoulder that kept her laid down.

“Damn, let me sit up if I want to. I am fine.” But (Y/N) noticed on her own how hoarse she sounded from being sick.

The hand suddenly disappeared from her shoulder, but when (Y/N) sat up, the hand was back at her back to steady her and kept her from falling over. Finally, she managed to open her eyes and caught look on the brown-haired man – Eddie. Evan sat directly next to her.

“We are just going to check a few things, ok?” All (Y/N) did, was giving an acknowledging sound from her.

The next thing she felt was a pulse-oximeter being slipped on her index finger and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm. She winced when Eddie inflated it and it squeezed tightly around her arm, which made her eyes well up with tears.

She had never liked the BP reading. When she was a kid, she cried freely as it made her arm feel like needles were jabbing it.

“Sorry.” Eddie was quick to deflate the cuff again after noticing the tears in (Y/N)’s eyes but she just shook her head to show everything’s ok. “BP’s 108/70. We are going to give you something to raise it again.”

“No! Wait!” (Y/N) frantically said. “I… I…” She made a sign for Eddie to come near to her so she could whisper into his ear without anyone hearing it. “I am pregnant but no one can know yet. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Okayyy… I think we should go somewhere more private.” (Y/N) nodded agreeing.

Despite the other’s confused looks, they made their way to the locker room. Once they were there, Eddie began talking again.

“Has this happened before?”

“Yes, I already was in hospital because of it but it is just this morning sickness. I can’t keep anything down and it makes me dehydrated.” When (Y/N) looked to her right, she could see Buck looking at them but he couldn’t hear anything, right? He wasn’t as near and it was quite loud upstairs.

“Mhm. I want to hook you up on an IV if that’s ok with you? I don’t want you to be as dehydrated as you are now and I figure you don’t want a trip to the ER?”

“Yes, if that is possible, please.”

Only a few seconds later, (Y/N) could see her dad storming into the locker room.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He looked kind of mad but also worried.

“Ehm… It is complica…”

“She is dehydrated because she didn’t drink or eat enough. She just wants to be alone for a moment and I can give her an IV,” Eddie intervened. (Y/N) shot him a thankful gaze and a tiny smile. She liked Eddie. He was really kind. She couldn’t think of any of her friends, who would do that for her.

“Mhm. Ok. I am going to call Athena. She said she would be here earlier. I’ll come back later.”

Bobby disappeared as fast as he came into the room.

“Thanks. For not telling him.” Eddie smiled at her.

“It’s not on me. And I think there are going to be better circumstances for that talk. How far are you?”

“5 months.”

“Ah. May I ask…”, he hesitated for a moment. “Is it your late husband’s baby?”

“No.” You didn’t know for sure why you told him, but he kind of let you feel calm and safe. “We didn’t… you know… the time before he died. We argued a lot. Had a one-night stand just a few hours after he died.”

“You know the father? Were you able to call and tell him?” Eddie looked honestly interested while he put an IV bag out of the medkit.

(Y/N) shook her head before nodding.

“I haven’t seen him… until today.” Eddie looked shocked and raised his eyebrows.

“Today? Is he here? At the station?”

(Y/N) nodded guiltily and looked at the ground when she heard Eddie chuckle.

“Damn, tell me more. Who is it?”

“Buck.”

“Buck?” The firefighter looked even more shocked than before and you nodded again.

“I didn’t know his name we agreed to ‘no personal information’. Why would I know he worked at my dad’s workplace? God… when he will find out he is going to be so pissed.” Eddie shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t think so. He will understand. And hey. You don’t have to defend yourself.” She smiled at his kindness.

She watched as Eddie swabbed the alcohol pad over the back of her hand.

“I would recommend to close your eyes if you are not good with needles”, he suggested. But (Y/N) couldn’t. She needed to see what Eddie was doing, even though she wasn’t good with needles. When the firefighter pushed the needle in the back of her hand, she let out a small squeal.

“Told you to keep your eyes closed but you refused to listen.” She heard Eddie chuckle. “Do you have any other symptoms I should be worried about?”

“I have cramps”, she admitted.

“Lower belly?” (Y/N) nodded. Why couldn’t she just have been home. She would lie on the couch and relax, but instead she was here, being poked and prodded by a firefighter.

“Can I take a look?” She nodded again. Eddie pulled her shirt over her abdomen and pressed his palm on different spots. (Y/N) looked upstairs, and froze. Fuck. She forgot that Evan was still standing upstairs, looking at the locker room. Looking at her.

Her eyes widened. Why had she agreed to this? Why didn’t she insist on being ok and went home? Why was she so stupid? She wanted to slap herself for not thinking.

Eddie seemed to notice her sudden panic, the pulse-oximeter, which was still clipped to her finger, chirped in high pitched noises.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Deep breaths. What’s up?”

“B… Buck.” The firefighter looked where she was pointing at and sucked in a deep breath.

“Ok. That’s ok. We’ll fix that, after we are finished here, ok? It’ll be ok. Don’t worry. Try to breathe with me, the baby won’t like you breathing like that.” Demonstrative, Eddie took some deep breaths. “Do you know the gender yet?”

(Y/N) could tell that Eddie was only trying to distract her but she played along.

“A… girl. It’s a girl. Again.” She laughed. Her breathing became slower, steadier.

“That’s great. You already told your kids?”

“Mhm.”

“How did they react? Are they happy?” Eddie grinned at her.

“Y… yes. They are. James was a bit d- disappointed at first. H- he hoped he would finally get a brother t- to play soccer with.” (Y/N) smiled. “But the g- girls were all over t-the moon.”

The brown-haired man, put an oxygen mask over her face, which she tried to pull off, but his hand was immediately back, to hold the mask in place.

“Let it on, please”, he said with a look at the pulse-oximeter which was still chirping. “It’ll make it easier to breathe for you.

(Y/N) nodded, even though she hated the feeling of the mask, which made her feel the opposite of ‘easier to breathe’.

“Can I have a listen to the baby’s heartbeat?” After he had seen (Y/N) nodded again, he took the stethoscope and pressed the diaphragm to her belly.

“Looks good so far. The heartbeat is a bit fast for my liking but it’s nothing too concerning, just take some deep breaths, ok?”

“Copy, Firefighter Diaz.” (Y/N) took some deep breaths.

Just a few seconds later, someone stormed into the locker room. Buck.

“You… you are pregnant?” Buck hoped that (Y/N) would tell him it wasn’t his. That it was her husband’s.

“Yes.” She was surprised that her voice didn’t sound as high and panicking as she thought it would. She was scared. Scared of Buck’s reaction, which became even more clear, as the pulse-oximeter started to chirp frantically again.

Eddie took a look and was surprised how high the shown numbers were.

“Deep breaths”, he commanded her. But she couldn’t.

“Who’s the dad? Is it mine? Or is there a tiny chance, that it is your husband’s?” Even though (Y/N) thought something like that would come out of Buck’s mouth, she felt disappointment deep in her. She hoped he would not sound as panicked as he was now.

“Your’s.” (Y/N) fell silent, holding her breath in anticipation of what Evan would say now.

“Oh… wow. I have to admit that is a shock. Why… why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there with you.”

“I didn’t have your number, your address, your workplace. Not even your name! I didn’t even know if you lived in LA or somewhere else! What should I have done?”

Eddie put the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, that she just put off again, but she immediately put it back to the floor. She didn’t want to breathe in the oxygen. It made her feel lightheaded and nauseous and gave her a headache.

“(Y/N)! Damn, breathe properly now the baby’s not comfortable anymore. Buck, I think you should go now and let her breathe a bit without the stress, this conversation puts on her.”

“No, he won’t go now! Not until this conversation is finished!” (Y/N) glared at Eddie. She wasn’t sure if that were the pregnancy hormones speaking out of her which have made her a bit temperamental these last few months.

“What do you want to do now? Buck? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want to be a part in the baby’s life? Do you want to be part in MY life? I need to know it.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Definitely the hormones which made her act strange at the moment.

“I don’t know exactly what I want to do now. But I don’t have a girlfriend. And I want to be part of the baby’s life. I want to be their father…”

“Her. It’s a girlie. Again.” (Y/N) could see Evan smiling a bit.

“Ok. I want to be HER father and spend time with her. And I think I would like to try to go on a date… with you. If you think you are ready. I liked you the last time we met, even though that could be because I had been really drunk that night.” Buck laughed and blushed a bit.

“I think… I think we can give it a try. I don’t know if I am ready for everything. But I do know I am ready for something. And maybe that could be with you.”

“Ok… uhm… great. And now you should really try to breathe properly with that mask. I know it’s not great, but even I can recognize how high your vitals are.”

She did as she was told. (Y/N) knew she liked Buck. He was cute. She wouldn’t have imagined to see a man like him blushing when talking about a baby and dating.

“I’m nauseous.” Eddie and Buck both looked a bit worried.

“Deep breaths. I think it’s just the IV and oxygen. I put some meds in the IV that should help with the belly cramps, that could make you feel nauseous.”

(Y/N) only nodded. She suddenly felt exhausted. The adrenaline of the day started to wear of.

“I think I’m gonna drive the kids home and we are going to relax a bit while watching some tv. Thank you for everything.”

“Wait. Stop. I won’t let you drive home alone. You don’t feel good and I wouldn’t like to know you don’t have anyone with you except you kids.” She nodded again. Evan was right. It would be stupid to not have anyone around her.

“I can come with you. Just if that’s ok with you.”

“Yes. That would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. Shall we take your car?”

“Mhm.” She was thankful. She could really imagine Buck as a boyfriend. He is great.

---

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Evan laughed. He, (Y/N) and Liv were sat on the couch, watching a firefighter show, (Y/N) and Liv had been addicted to in the last few weeks.

“It doesn’t matter! This show is great!” Liv and Evan discussed about the mistakes in the show since around 10 minutes and it made (Y/N) smile. It was like a real family. Even though it hurt her a bit that it wasn’t Henry, sitting here. But let’s be honest: Henry would have never watched a show like that.

“That doesn’t change the fact, that you don’t use the saw like that. It’s just not safe!”

“Then just do not pay attention to the details.” Now, it was Liv laughing. (Y/N) hasn’t seen her daughter that happy in the last few months. She tried to cover up her emotions but it didn’t work completely. Her eyes started to burn and she felt a pressure building up. No, she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Evan. Her daughter. No.

“I’ll go to toilet for a moment.” She hoped nobody would notice she was about to cry, but her voice gave it away. She sounded hoarse and her voice broke at some point.

She locked the bathroom door and sank down to the cold floor, where she curled up, leaning her back on the even colder wall. Her hand was rubbing circles over her swollen belly. Damn it.

(Y/N) knew she missed Henry. She knew her kids have missed him every second since his death. But she was scared. Scared that moving on with Evan would make her forget her late husband. She heard a gentle knock on the wooden bathroom door.

“May I come in?” Buck.

“Ok.” Her voice sounded hoarse. She attempted to brush the tears away but it really didn’t work. Her eyes were still read, as well as her cheeks.

She got up to unlock the door, for Buck to come in. After he stepped inside the room, he closed the door again. He sat down next to her, and (Y/N) leaned her head on his shoulder.

“What’s up?”, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” Evan shot her a look, that said more than a thousand words.

“This honestly doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t want to forget Henry. And I am scared. I have never had a relationship before him. And I still have cramps. And I still don’t feel too good in general. And I am scared of giving birth alone. And I am scared of everything else in my life.” Buck looked at her with a concerned expression and immediately pulled her into a hug as (Y/N) began to cry again.

“Ok. So, we first go to hospital, because these cramps make me worried, and then we can figure everything else out, ok?” He pressed a sloppy kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead, and she nodded.

“Mhm. But you need to help me get up, the baby is in the way.”

[megalony]

Who Do You Think I Am

This is my newest Eddie x Reader x Buck imagine, I hope you will all like it. Let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread@musicistheway@avada-kedavra-bitch-187@luula@missdreamofendless@bradleybeachbabe@woderfulkawaii@amberpanda99@daggersquadphantom@marvel-and-chicago-fan@angryknightstatesmantrash@minjix@lyjen@kmc1989@itsmytimetoodream@noonenuts@hiireadstuff@ashie-babie@classyunknownlover@jayyeahthatsme@sp1ritssz@dumb-fawkin-bitch@oliverstarksbae@gimatida@heart-35@supernaturalstilinski@stefansalvatoresgf@kyky9103@wutheringhearts2275@gay4hotmilfs@itshamleth@chaoticnosleepinfluencer@gs29@wh0reforsmutstuff@mel-vaz@natashamea18@chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena@targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19@marvelmenarebeautiful@gillybear17 @zoeybennett

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: When one of their kids isn't well, Buck goes to collect her from nursery and the 118 come to make sure she's okay. And there are more than a few choice words for the nursery staff about how they've acted.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you going now?"

Glancing over her shoulder, (Y/n) scanned her eyes up and down Eddie's frame while her teeth sank down on her lower lip. He was wearing his work uniform, he didn't usually get dressed at home. He got changed into his gear once he got to the station, he must either be in a hurry or he'd brought his uniform home to wash it the other day.

Her arm tightened around the toddler sat on her hip who was cuddled up into her chest like some sort of baby monkey.

"Yeah or I'll be late. You still want me to pick you up tonight?" Eddie finished pouring the coffee in his travel mug and screwed it on tight before he looked over at (Y/n).

"Yeah- baby can you take a look at her before you leave, please?" Her arm bounced Ellie on her hip and her eyes travelled from the toddler back to Eddie.

She watched the way he glanced at the kitchen clock before he sucked in a deep breath and nodded. It would have to be quick, he was running out of time and he really didn't want to be late for the change from A to B shift.

He set his mug down near his keys and walked round the kitchen island, reaching his hands out for their youngest. Ellie was curled into (Y/n), her chest tucked into her mother's chest with her arms bound tight around the teddy in her arms. Her eyes were barely open from how tired she looked and she didn't even smile when Eddie stood in front of her.

He gently lifted her from (Y/n)'s arms, causing the two year old to grumble as Eddie sat her down on the counter and crouched down to be level with her.

"What's wrong?" He directed his question at (Y/n) while he pressed his hand against Ellie's temple, noticing she was a little warm but nothing to indicate a temperature or a fever.

"She's coughing a lot and she, I don't know, she doesn't seem herself." (Y/n) didn't want to worry.

They had done enough worrying over Ellie from the moment she was born three months premature. The first two and a half months of her life she had spent in the neonatal unit at the hospital and ever since they got her home, Ellie had been a happy but sick baby. She picked up any illness or infection going round. She held onto infections longer than usual and they wore her down.

She had been on a variety of antibiotics and she was only two years old.

(Y/n) didn't want to worry but she couldn't help it and she didn't want to send Ellie to nursery if she was coming down with something. If Ellie picked up a bad infection, they had to keep her home and get the doctor's advice on medicines. When one of the kids in Chris's class got the measles, they had to bring Chris home and isolate all the kids at home so none of them got it and passed it onto Ellie.

"Baby girl, let me look." Eddie pressed his finger to Ellie's lips until she opened her mouth. He then felt her throat and listened to her breathing.

(Y/n) could see the debate in his eyes. He didn't know whether sending her to nursery was such a good idea or not.

"Send her. If she was really bad she'd of been crying by now, and it's Buck's day off. If she feels worse he can bring her home."

"Okay."

Today wasn't such a bad day for childcare. Considering they had four kids in the house, the three of them did well to work around childcare. And it was Evan's day off today. If Ellie was coughing up a storm or had a fever, they wouldn't have to cancel shifts, Evan was here to care for her.

But they may as well send her since she wasn't complaining and if Ellie was very ill, she would of been crying and begging to stay home. It was worth getting her into the routine of nursery since she had only just started going two months ago and she was there three days a week.

If she felt worse, Evan could go get her, no problems.

"Alright, I love you both and I'll see you tonight." Eddie pressed a sloppy kiss to Ellie's cheek and lifted her up, gently settling her back down in (Y/n)'s arms.

He pressed his hand to (Y/n)'s chin and tilted her head up to meet his so he could steal a kiss from her lips. He bit down on her lip before he pulled back and he murmured a soft "Thank you," when (Y/n) handed him a slice of toast. She knew he hadn't eaten yet and wasn't likely to if he was going to walk right into a busy shift.

He headed out the kitchen, grabbing his flask on the way, and made a beeline for the hall that looked as packed and cramped as a school hallway.

His eyes trailed over his troop, smiling down at them as they were all getting ready. Chris was sat near the front door, tying up his shoes with his bag perched next to him. Lola was leaning back against the wall with one foot up on Evan's thigh so he could tie her shoelace for her since she couldn't do it herself yet.

And Maria was stood to one side with her backpack on and her hair in two pigtails so she could twist her head from side to side and have her hair bash against her cheeks. It was her way of stimming.

"Who's driving us?" Maria looked between both dads with a smile. She could tell that since Eddie was wearing his uniform, he was going to work whereas Evan was dressed casual. He was wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, and when she looked and saw her mum walking through, she could tell her mum was also going to work.

"I'm driving, and we're dropping mummy off at work today too." Evan patted Lola's leg as a sign that he was finished so she could stand on both feet again.

He had been at work until eleven o'clock last night but his silver lining was he had the next two days off. So he had the house to himself until he went to get Ellie from nursery, then he would pick up the rest of the kids and have the evening with them until Eddie and (Y/n) came home.

"Alright troop, I gotta go." Eddie grabbed his keys before he turned to the closest child, who happened to be Maria. He kissed her cheek, then moved to Lola, then finally Chris, giving them each a kiss and whispering a quiet 'love you' to them all.

He finally turned to face Evan who had his own keys swirling around on his thumb and his hand in his back pocket somewhat casually. He brushed his thumb across the side of Evan's neck and reeled him in for a kiss before he weaved around Chris to get to the door.

"Everyone be good for pops."

Eddie left the door open behind him for the rest of them to head out and get in 'the bus' as the kids always referred to it. Since they had a family of seven, they had what was effectively a mini-bus, something (Y/n) hated to drive but what was child's play for Evan and Eddie. Considering they could manage driving the trucks at work.

Both Chris and Lola followed after Evan and when he opened the back door, they climbed up and went right to the far back. There were two rows of three-seats in the back, and then two up in the front. Plus two seats in the boot that could fold up or pull out so they could effectively fit ten people in the car.

They strapped themselves in while Evan picked Maria up and clipped her in, and (Y/n) moved round to the other car seat to get Ellie strapped in. (Y/n) pursed her lips and sighed when Ellie didn't say anything.

The toddler wasn't always loud, but she usually babbled quite a lot and today she had barely spoken a word. She just closed her eyes and coughed quietly into her teddy.

"All good?" Evan looked over at (Y/n) when the pair of them climbed in the front.

"I don't think Ellie's very well… can you be on standby, if she seems unwell at nursery?"

Evan took a glance in the rear-view mirror as he began to drive. Ellie didn't look unwell, but she didn't look herself either. He turned the radio up to see if the music might liven her up. All the kids loved to sing, whether it was early in the morning or late into the night. The only time they didn't sing was when they were sick.

"Yeah, course I will."

(Y/n) nodded and managed a smile when Evan reached across and curved his hand around her thigh. When she was at work, she couldn't always answer her phone and both the school and nursery always seemed to ring (Y/n) first before they rang the boys. They even rang her regarding Chris because he thought of her as his mum and Eddie had added her and Evan to Chris's school record.

But she knew Evan would tell the nursery to ring him today, he was the only one with a day off who would be able to answer his phone straight away.

When he pulled up on the curb, (Y/n) leaned across and stole a few kisses from his lips before she looked in the back. "Alright, have a good day, I love you all." She blew a few kisses towards them before she hopped out, her work was first on the journey. Then the school, then the nursery on the way back because the older kids had to be at school before Ellie technically needed to turn up to nursery.

It didn't take long for Evan to arrive at the school and he got as close as he could to the gates.

He opened the back door and unclipped Maria first since she was the closest to him. He picked her up and set her down on her feet, helping her hook her arms through her bag straps while Lola hopped out, followed by Chris who bashed his crutches into the back of Evan's leg as he got out.

"It'll be me picking you all up today. Have fun and be good please."

"Bye papa."

"Bye baby, love you." Evan kissed the top of Lola's head and did the same to Chris, following them a few feet up the path until they were at the gates. But he looked down to his left when Maria pulled on his hand and started to sway back and forth on her heels.

"You love me too, papa?"

"You know I love you, sweetheart. Go on, good girl." He kissed her cheek and gave her a little nudge, waving and watching until they all got safely to the doors before he headed back to the car.

He opened the other back door and poked his head round to check on Ellie. He had been busy getting the girls up and sorted this morning while (Y/n) saw to Ellie, so he didn't know if she had been complaining she felt ill or if (Y/n) just noticed something was off.

"How's my baby, hm?" He leaned in the back and kissed her forehead which was a little warm. And his heart swelled when he got a smile out of her.

It was habit that all three of them referred to Ellie as the baby, even though she was now two years old. She was their youngest, and since she had been born premature, they were used to friends and family constantly asking 'how's the baby?' As everyone had been worried she wouldn't make it. And with all the infections and rough illnesses she picked up, she worried them even more.

"We go bed, papa?" She snuggled her face down into her teddy and smiled brightly when Evan started peppering her face with kisses.

"Hm, maybe later. You're going to nursery this morning, but I'll pick you up and you can spend the afternoon with me, how's that sound?"

He could see it in her eyes that she didn't want to go, but she didn't have the energy or the will to argue either. Ellie had grown up thus far being ill and constantly being cared and doted on by one of her three parents. Going to nursery was a change she wasn't too keen on. She didn't like being parted from any parent, but they were slowly getting her used to it.

It was hard on all three of them too because they were constantly worrying about Ellie and wondering if she was alright.

With a lasting kiss to her cheek, Evan closed the door and got back in the driver's seat. He turned the radio up a little more, but he felt his heart quicken when Ellie didn't sing or babble or even laugh. She only coughed and gave the occasional, cute sneeze.

Evan had a feeling she wouldn't last the whole day, something in his gut just told thim that he would be picking her up early.

Nursery didn't last as long as the school hours. The plan was usually for Evan to pick Ellie up first, take her for a drive or a walk somewhere, just the two of them. Then he would go get the other kids when they finished at half three.

But Evan didn't like being home alone, especially with both (Y/n) and Eddie at work today. So he would be relieved to pick Ellie up early, maybe after lunch so she at least had the morning at nursery. Then he could have the afternoon with his baby and then the rest of his kids.

He was going to end up seeing Maddie this morning anyway since she wasn't at work and Evan didn't like being alone.

"Come on then, baby. Off we go."

Evan gently unclipped her and swung her navy blue Fireman Sam bag on his shoulder as he let her curl up into his chest. She was tired and he was more than happy to cuddle her than have her walk inside.

He winced when she coughed into his neck, but she wasn't snuffly or finding it hard to breathe which was a relief. Her arms cocooned around his neck and she breathed softly against his neck as he walked into reception.

"Is it Ellie?" One of the women was halfway between the reception area and the play room with the other kids.

"It is," Evan gently eased her down to her feet and took her hand so he could walk over and put her bag on one of the hooks. The one thing he liked about this nursery was the fact that they didn't have too many kids here at a time. It wasn't too many kids to overwhelm or make Ellie nervous and that also meant there was less chance of her getting ill.

He let Ellie take the lead and drag him into the room before he crouched down in front of her and pulled her close.

"Be a good girl, I'll be back soon, okay?" He took a deep breath when Ellie flopped into his chest. She tucked her face into his shoulder and clung to his neck, leaning all her weight onto him so her legs bent and went floppy. "Go on, baby." He encouraged, kissing her temple before he tried to unhook her arms so she would go play.

She didn't seem too sure or very keen when one of the assistants came over and took her hand, but Ellie let herself be guided away from Evan.

Once she was out of sight and earshot, Evan moved his hands to his thighs and pushed up to his feet again. His sights set on the woman who led them inside and he plastered on a smile as he walked over to her, tucking his hands into his pockets as he walked.

"Hi, uh, Ellie's not feeling well. Her mum and her other dad are at work, so if she needs to come home, you'll just have to ring me today and I'll come back and get her." He knew if Ellie heard him say any of that, she would start crying and ask Evan to take her home if she knew he was willing to come back for her at any point.

And he didn't want them trying to ring (Y/n) or Eddie and panicking when they couldn't get hold of either of them. There was no point calling them when Evan was off and was the easiest to access his phone. And he was already panicking that Ellie was going to get upset and want to come home.

The only reason Evan had brought her in was because he knew he couldn't keep her home whenever he suspected she wasn't one hundred percent. They could play things safe with Ellie more than the other kids, but they couldn't always keep her home and try to smother her to protect her. They had done enough worrying about her already to last them a decade.

"Okay, I'm sure she'll be fine but I'll make a note."

"Thank you."

***

A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he hung his head down when his spine clicked into place. He felt like someone had run him over with the truck. He was glad Evan wasn't on shift with him right now to see the discomfort he felt or Evan would fuss like a mother hen.

He shrugged off his shirt and grabbed a fresh one from his locker and the towel which he slung over his shoulder. A hot shower would do him some good and make him feel a bit more lively so he could get through the rest of his shift in one piece.

His head snapped up and crashed into the locker door, causing him to yelp when his phone rang.

That was lucky. He usually turned his phone on silent and kept it in his locker, he must have forgotten this morning.

With one hand cupping his temple which was now throbbing, his other hand rummaged around in his bag to find his phone before it stopped ringing. His eyes narrowed into a frown that set deep into his features when he looked over the caller ID.

Why was Ellie's nursery ringing him? Why did he already have a missed call off them from two minutes ago? They shouldn't be ringing Eddie when he was at work and Evan was the parent who was dropping off and picking Ellie up today. Why weren't they calling him?

"Hello?"

"Mr Diaz?"

"Yes… is Ellie okay?" He could feel his guts twisting themselves into knots while he sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. He arched his chest forwards to curve his spine and try to straighten out the tension he felt while he waited to know what was going on.

"Ellie was coughing this morning, but now she's started wheezing and she says her chest hurts. She isn't breathing very well, we think it'd be best if you could come and pick her up."

She wasn't having chest pains this morning, Ellie barely even coughed or croaked when Eddie looked at her this morning. To go from looking groggy and tired to wheezing was a little drastic and extremely worrying. But Eddie couldn't go and pick her up. He was at work. They should be ringing Evan and telling him this.

"Has she been sick? How bad is her breathing?" There were a million things coming to Eddie's mind about what the problem could be and what was happening. One of which was Ellie had just coughed a bit too harshly and given herself a bit of chest pain from straining. He hoped it was that. He prayed that was what was wrong.

"She's not been sick, but she is gasping and wheezing and she's getting herself upset."

"Okay… I'm sorry but why are you calling me, not my partner?" There was no question that Ellie was going home. Evan was going to have to go and pick her up.

"We couldn't get hold of her mother, so we called you."

"No, I get that but- you've rang me twice to get hold of me, why didn't you ring her other dad, Mr Buckley?" It felt so strange to hear Evan's last name passing through his lips. It had been a long time since Eddie had called him Mr Buckley and that was only when they were at some sort of formal place like the doctor's office or when they were registering the kids for school.

Surely if (Y/n) and Eddie hadn't answered the first time around, they should have tried Evan too. Was he alright? Why wasn't he answering? He had dropped her off this morning, hadn't he spoken to them when he took her in?

"We tried her mother first, then we tried you. It's protocol to call the parents-"

"He is her parent! Ellie has three parents and Evan is one of them. He dropped her off this morning for God's sake. I know you've got him on file."

Eddie could feel his blood beginning to boil.

They couldn't be serious. They couldn't be doing this to them. They had four kids together, Eddie had added (Y/n) and Evan as Chris's adoptive parents at his school. They had registered all the girls together at each nursery and school they went to and they rarely got this problem.

The one main issue they had was when they had Maria registered at a preschool and she had an accident. They kept insisting they could only speak to 'the real father' and didn't accept that both Eddie and Evan were equal fathers to Maria. They took her out of that school the same day and registered her somewhere else.

Sure, they got a few odd looks when they first applied and went to look round, but most of the staff had been accepting and a little curious. No one had been this rude to them in years.

"I- I'm sorry…?"

"It's fine, I'll ring him and he'll be there in five minutes." Eddie crudely hung up the phone, snaking a hand through his hair as he scrolled to find Evan's icon and call him instead. He couldn't be bothered to argue with the receptionist, not when he was at work and needed to go get changed ready for when the bell sounded.

Evan wasn't going to be happy about this, Eddie could already feel the anger and he hadn't even spoken to his partner yet.

"Hey babe, everything okay?" Evan didn't usually get phone calls from Eddie when he was at work. It wasn't that often that they did split shifts, they were usually on shift together, even if their schedules only lined up for half a shift and one left and the other stayed.

With (Y/n)'s job it was different, she could call them and have a conversation while she was on shift. But Eddie never rang while he was at work.

"Babe, can you go to nursery and pick Ellie up please?"

"What, why?"

Evan sat forward on the sofa, his back hunching over while he dragged his free hand along the back of his neck. What was Eddie talking about? Why had he been talking to the nursery? They were supposed to ring Evan if there were any problems and he had been a little worried that he hadn't heard anything from them by now.

"They called me, she's having breathing problems and they're worried, you need to go get her."

"No one rang me." The hurt was evident in Evan's voice and it made Eddie wince.

"I- I know babe, I know. I've already told them you're on your way, just let me know how she is when you get there please."

Evan muttered a quiet 'Will do' before he ended the call and grabbed his keys. He had a gut feeling he would be heading back to that nursery earlier than planned today, but Evan thought he would at least get the call himself. They had seen him drop her off, he had spoken to one of the girls who worked there. They had him as one of Ellie's contacts, he was one of her dads.

His fingers drummed against the steering wheel and every now and then he moved his hand to scratch his jaw and drag his nails down his neck. He could feel the anger radiating through him and it was bustling out of him in waves.

What was wrong with her this time? Was he going to have to make another trip down to the emergency room?

Evan hated taking any of the kids to the emergency room on his own; he would have to call (Y/n) at work and ask her to meet him there. He would ring Eddie back and check whether the hospital was busy today or not. An ambulance might be quicker than sitting in the waiting room.

He dragged his hand across his face to liven himself up and see if it would somehow wipe away the angered, hardened expression he found staring back at him in the rear view mirror.

By the time he climbed out the jeep, he was shaking and his hands were balled into fists which he shoved in his jacket pockets.

He stormed into the reception he had been in less than six hours ago and drummed his hand against the counter as he waited for someone to talk to him.

"I'm here for Ellie, what's happened?"

"Someone to collect little Ellie."

Evan's eyes darted to the double doors ahead of him when he realised there was a lady leaning out, obviously waiting for someone. She nodded and beckoned Evan over. It was the girl he spoke to this morning. She held the door open for him for him and he hurried after her and followed her through the main room.

"She's right this way."

He could feel a wave of relief wash through him at finally seeing a familiar face. He would finally get some answers out of her and find out why no one called him and be told exactly what was wrong with his daughter.

"We tried contacting her parents-"

"Who do you think I am?"

The words flooded past Evan's lips before he could stop himself and he found his hands curling back into fists to try and calm himself down. His nails punctured into the palm of his hands and his head tilted to the side when the woman turned around to face him.

"I- I'm sorry?" She paused, one hand on the door that led into the small kitchen at the back. Clearly they wanted Ellie out the way of the other kids to try and calm her down.

"I've dropped my daughter off here before work a hundred times, I brought her in this morning and spoke to you. I told you if there were any problems, call me. But no one did, I had to find out second-hand that something was wrong. Who do you think I am, the babysitter?"

Did this girl honestly think Evan was the babysitter or Ellie's uncle? Did she think Evan was just a friend of the family who helped out and brought Ellie here on his days off? She had seen Ellie cling to him and kiss him goodbye. When Ellie was in her brighter mood she would kiss him on the cheek and say goodbye papa.

Did all of that mean nothing or go in one ear and straight out the other with this girl? What did she think happened or was going on when three different people brought Ellie into nursery and Ellie seemed attached and referred to them all as her parents?

At the very least, Evan thought this lady would have gotten the wrong impression and thought he was her stepdad or her mum's new boyfriend if she was that confused. Clearly she didn't think he was anyone of importance.

"I- well, um,"

"Her name is Buckley-Diaz and I'm Mr Buckley, that doesn't give you a clue, at all?"

Evan waited with raised brows and hunched shoulders but when the girl just stared at him and gawped, Evan sighed. There was no point debating this any further. Clearly they didn't care to work out what was going on or come to grips with the fact that Ellie was lucky enough to have three loving parents and not just two.

"She has two dads, one of them is me. If you have a problem with that, I won't hesitate to switch childcare providers."

With that said, Evan moved past her and pushed open the kitchen door and briskly walked inside. His eyes landed on Ellie straight away. His youngest was sat on a little plastic chair near the window, leaning forward like she was about to fall asleep sitting up. But the way she was trembling and cuddling her teddy to her chest told Evan she really wasn't well.

As soon as Ellie lifted her head, Evan saw the tears streaking down her face and he suddenly realised she was wheezing.

"Papa!" The word was breathless and crackled like static and she unhooked one arm from around her teddy to reach out for Evan when he knelt down in front of her.

His hands found her waist and he leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek while he rested her elbows on his knees and balanced back and forth on his heels. His thumbs brushed across her sides and he managed a calming smile when she looped her arm around his neck and tucked her temple against his so she could press a sloppy, gasping kiss to his cheek.

"Hi baby. What's wrong, hm? Tell me what's the matter." Evan kissed her again before he gently sat her up straight so he could look at her properly.

He watched her unhook her arm from his neck so she could tap her chest while she dropped her teddy to rest on her thighs. "Chest hurts, papa. Sore." She patted her chest before she moved her hand near her throat and back down again. Everything hurt. Breathing was a struggle, she wanted to cry but it made her gasp and her throat felt raw and broken.

"Let me see, baby."

Evan cupped one hand on her neck to check her pulse and he moved his other hand to gently cup her chin. He pressed his thumb against her lower lip to get her to open her mouth so he could take a look. Her throat looked red raw and inflamed and he didn't like how hard it was for her to breathe. Her pulse was quite high too.

With pursed lips, Evan leaned back, trying to stay calm so Ellie wouldn't panic as he rummaged around in his back pocket for his phone. But when he went to stand up, Ellie stretched her arms out and made a loud, croaky scream that had Evan shuddering and cringing.

"I'm not leaving, baby. Come're, shh I'm right here." In an instant, Evan leaned down and scooped Ellie up into his left arm so he could cuddle her into his chest.

He moved to stand near the window, gently bouncing Ellie in his arms every few seconds while he made a phone call. He leaned back so she could curl up on his chest and he felt her fingers scrunching up in his shirt as if to make sure he wouldn't dare put her back down.

"Buck, how is she?" Eddie's panicked voice came through the receiver within two rings and Evan guessed he had kept his phone in his pocket rather than his locker for any news.

"I'd guess tonsillitis, I'm taking her down to the emergency room, again."

"Again- fuck, that's the third time this year. Buck, I can come down and get you in the ambulance, then you won't have to wait, the emergency room was packed this morning when we dropped a few patients off. We can come down, just stay there."

That would make the third time that Ellie had gotten tonsillitis, and the doctors wouldn't do anything about it unless she got it at least seven times in a year. All they would do was give her antibiotics and tell them to keep her home and keep her fluids up. If she got worse or got a temperature, they would be back to the doctor for an inhaler, more meds and a chest X-ray.

Eddie couldn't see why they wouldn't just remove her tonsils and he done with it. This wasn't fair on her, always getting ill and forever getting chest infections, but there was nothing they could do to persuade the doctors otherwise.

"You sure?" Evan knew what that meant. He knew that meant the team would come down to this if Eddie made it a call out.

More to the point, the team would find out that Eddie and Evan were in a relationship together, and that they had kids. That they were in a poly relationship with someone else.

The team were open minded and always easy going and understanding, but the boys thought it better to keep their lives private. They didn't know what kind of looks they were going to get. It was bad enough that Evan's parents had reacted horribly to the news and used to ask Evan to find out if the girls were his or Eddie's.

And with Eddie's family being devout Catholics, they hadn't been impressed he'd entered a relationship with two other people at the same time. The team were loving and caring and understanding, but the boys didn't want any strange looks or frowns from the people they thought of as their family.

"We're coming down to you right now, babe. Call (Y/n), get her to meet us at the hospital. I'll see you both soon."

Evan found himself smiling and he leaned his cheek against Ellie's head and continued to sway her side to side. When he scrolled through his phone for (Y/n)'s contact, he stopped and looked down at Ellie as her hand scrunched up in his shirt and gave a small tug for his attention.

"We go home?"

"No, baby. Daddy's coming down to see us, you can see him in his uniform and ride in daddy's ambulance."

***

"Where are we going?"

Eddie ran his hands up and down his thighs and tilted his head back into the headrest when the truck took a right turn and had them all leaning to one side. He glanced across at Ravi who was switching between looking out the window and glancing over at Eddie and Chimney.

"My daughter's not well, we're gonna go take her to the emergency room." He moved his hands to grip his knees and he scratched his nails through his overalls.

He hadn't expected Bobby to say no when he approached and asked if they could go on a personal call. The moment he explained his daughter wasn't well and needed a trip to the emergency room, Bobby understood. He understood Eddie didn't want his partner or child to be waiting in the queue that had been out the door.

Not when Ellie could barely breathe and she was a high priority. Whereas if the team assessed her and took her, they could take her through the paramedics entrance at the hospital and she would see a doctor sooner than being in the waiting room for hours.

"How come?" Chimney had learned that they could ask Eddie questions about his private life if he opened the door and started the conversation. Otherwise, no one pried because he clearly liked to keep things private. They knew he had a partner and kids, but that was it. No no one had met any of them.

It was the same with Evan, no one asked him about his private life because he wouldn't offer anything up.

"She was a preemie, born three months early." Eddie tilted his head to the left and looked out the window as his hands left his knees and rung together between his thighs. "Picks up any infection going and nursery said she's not breathing well."

He couldn't have been more relieved when the truck pulled up outside the nursery.

Eddie had been expecting him and Hen to arrive in the ambulance while the rest of the team waited back at the station. But Bobby said they would all go and treat this like any other call out, and if they got another call on the way then everyone would be together and ready to divert after Eddie had been dropped at the hospital.

He climbed down and grabbed one of the medic bags from the side compartment before he led the way inside. Eddie grabbed the reception door and flung it open with haste and an air of confidence that almost rattled the walls.

His head turned to the left and his lips pursed when he watched the receptionist look him up and down with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. It was Daphne, the lady who had called Eddie less than an hour ago about Ellie, the one Eddie rarely spoke to whenever he dropped Ellie off.

"Mr Diaz," The surprise was evident in her voice and she darted to look towards the main room and back again. Clearly Evan hadn't told them he had called for back up.

"Where's Ellie?" He didn't have the time or the patience to play nice. Eddie wanted his family and he wanted to get out of here.

"In the kitchen."

As soon as Daphne pressed the button to unlock the door, Eddie stormed through with Bobby and Hen hot on his heels.

He didn't bother to smile at the carers or the toddlers who stopped to see who was storming through. Eddie didn't feel like smiling. He felt like screaming. not only had they pissed him off by disrespecting his boyfriend, they clearly hadn't called for any help or thought to contact a doctor whereas Evan clearly thought Ellie was bad enough to need to go to the hospital.

The sight in the kitchen was enough to melt Eddie's hardened exterior and his lips managed a smile when he looked around.

Evan was sat at the small round table, slouched back in the chair with one hand on the back of Ellie's head and the other hand on her back to try and keep her stable on his chest. He had his lips smothering the top of Ellie's head, but the moment they both heard the door open, the toddler was looking off in that direction.

"Daddy!"

"Hey little girl." Eddie grinned softly and dropped his medic bag on the middle of the table.

For a second, he forgot that the rest of the team were following behind him. He didn't think before he acted, not that it really mattered anymore, and he curved his hand around to cup the back of Evan's neck. His lips pressed down on Evan's forehead and his thumb glided over the back of his neck until he was shivering from the contact.

Eddie reached out with his free hand and grabbed the wooden chair behind him and dragged it over so he was sat in front of Evan with their knees bumping together.

"Alright, let me take a look at you, little one." He waited for Evan to spin Ellie around to face him before he reached out to cup her chin. He felt that her throat seemed a tiny bit swollen, unlike this morning, and he could already see the inside of her mouth was inflamed.

Ellie let him check her temperature and she stayed limp and mobile while Evan leaned her forward over his arm so Eddie could use the stethoscope to listen to her lungs and how croaky her breathing was.

"Buck?" Bobby stood in the corner of the room and moved his hands to his hips as he raised a brow. Eddie never mentioned anything about Evan being his partner. He could have sworn Eddie had mentioned the name (Y/n) more than once. Maybe he had gotten it wrong.

"Are you-"

"This is our daughter Ellie." Eddie didn't want to wait around and have them play the guessing game or stand and stare, trying to study and figure out what they were to each other.

He whipped the stethoscope from his ears and chucked them back in the bag before he rummaged around for a blood pressure cuff. With Evan here to hold her, Eddie might be able to get a reading. Ellie hated her blood pressure being taken and neither of them could blame her, it wasn't a nice feeling.

But Eddie paused and looked back at Ellie when her hand batted against his shoulder. She waited for him to look at her before she started to pat her chest and whimper. It was hurting again. And they all watched with sympathy in their eyes when Ellie started to croak and cough which turned into gasping cries from the pain it caused.

"Hurts,"

"I know, I know little one. Alright, let's get her in the ambulance."

When Eddie stood up and hooked the bag back over his shoulder, Evan turned Ellie around so she could cuddle back up into his shoulder with her face burrowed into the crook of his neck. But his eyes went straight back to Eddie and he watched his partner turn to face the care assistant who was still stood in the corner of the room.

"Don't expect us to bring our daughter back here again."

Evan pushed himself up onto numb legs and grabbed Eddie's hand, squeezing tightly as he led the way out after Hen and Chimney. He had seen the look of thunder on Eddie's face the moment he walked in here and he had heard the frustration in his voice over the phone.

If they weren't going to be understanding or even try to listen to them, they weren't bringing Ellie back here. They had to understand that she had three parents and they had to listen to each of them. They couldn't just make presumptions or ignore Evan like they had done today.

Eddie wouldn't stand for them being so rude to his boyfriend like that.

A tender smile flickered onto Evan's face when he felt Eddie's hand on his lower back and his partner follow close behind until Eddie's chest was almost bumping into his back with each step.

Bobby and Ravi headed back to the truck and took Eddie's bag with them while Chimney climbed in the driver's seat of the ambulance. And Hen opened the back doors, beckoning the boys to hop in before she followed after them.

Evan perched himself down on the gurney and sat Ellie on his lap with her back slouched into his chest. His hands splayed out on her chest and tummy and he smothered his lips into the top of her head while Hen and Eddie sat down in front of them.

"Is she your only child?" Hen scanned her eyes between the boys who both shared a look while Eddie bit down on his lip, leaving Evan to answer this one.

"You're the baby, aren't you?" He murmured into the top of Ellie's head. "We've got four. Chris, Lola, Maria, and then Ellie."

While Hen muttered a quiet "Damn." With wide eyes, Eddie looked through one of the drawers on his left and found a steroid inhaler. It was a very weak dosage that would do Ellie some good to try and get her throat and airways open so she could breathe easier.

"Let's try some of this, see? Big breaths, like daddy, and it will feel better." Eddie pressed the white pen-like inhaler to his lips and took a deep breath. He tried to smile and stop himself from coughing at the taste, but he knew if he or Evan didn't try it first, there was no way Ellie was going to believe them and have a go herself.

She squirmed back into Evan, whining and shaking her head until Evan kissed her cheek. "Be a good girl for us, hm? Then we can tell mummy how good you've been."

"Mummy?" Ellie tipped her head back into Evan's chest, coughing and croaking as she stared up at him.

"Yeah, mummy's gonna meet us at the doctors, you wanna make her proud, don't you?"

She scrunched up her nose and curled her lips, but when Eddie pressed the inhaler closer, she didn't pull away. Her eyes sparkled when Evan sucked in a deep breath and puffed out his chest to get her to imitate him while Hen grinned at the pair of them.

Ellie copied Evan and reached both her hands out to hold Eddie's wrists as she tried to breathe in the inhaler. But as soon as the powdered steroids got into her lungs, she gasped. Her short nails scratched the back of Eddie's hands and she wriggled back into Evan, screaming as much as she was able to with the little breath she had left.

"Baby please- Ellie no- okay, okay all gone, see? It's gone now." Eddie wrenched out of her rather tight grip and handed the inhaler to Hen so she could hide it.

He dropped his head down and sighed, shaking his hands to get some feeling back from where she gripped him and his thigh burned from how she had kicked him in her panic.

"You're a little fuss-pot, you know that?" Evan murmured quietly as he rubbed his chest that now felt bruised from where she bashed her head back into him. It had only been an inhaler, it wasn't as if it actually hurt to take it and it must have made her feel a little better, even if it didn't feel normal for her. She knew they weren't trying or going to hurt her.

"I wonder who she gets that from." Hen dead-panned as the three of them felt the ambulance pull to a stop.

"Not me. Come on, let's go find mummy." Leaning over, Eddie gently scooped Ellie up from Evan's lap and climbed out the back. He felt Evan's hands on his shoulders and both of them found (Y/n) straight away.

She was stood to the far side just shy of the ambulance entrance, leaning her shoulders and one foot up against the wall. With her arms folded over her chest and her bag hanging off one elbow.

When her eyes locked on them, her lips curved into a soft smile and she pushed off the wall to aim for her guys and their youngest baby.

Evan reached her first. He weaved beside Eddie to meet (Y/n) halfway and his hands found her hips while his lips attached to her forehead. Their phone call had been brief but (Y/n) had immediately agreed to meet them here at the hospital. Ellie would need all of them if she was going to be seen by a doctor because they could guarantee she would get distressed and have a meltdown or some kind of tantrum.

She gripped Evan's waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek before she reached out for Eddie. His arm curled around her waist and she pecked his lips while Ellie scrambled to get into her arms.

"Mummy,"

"I'm here, baby. Come on, what have you been doing, hm?"

When Evan turned his head to the side and noticed the smile playing on Hen's lips, he could feel his cheeks flushing pink and a blush crept up the side of his neck. "We'll introduce you all later."

"Hm, I'm counting on it."

[wikiangela]

you're my future, baby

bucktommy rating: T words: 7.2k summary: Buck and Tommy have a conversation about their future together.

[read on Ao3]

In Buck's defense, he doesn’t mean to ask this question right then. It just slips out. He's lying in the big, strong arms of his very hot, amazing boyfriend, both sweaty and still breathless. He’s blissed out and fucked out, and so content and still dizzy after a mindblowing orgasm. So he doesn’t have a lot of control over his thoughts and words right now. So he surprises even himself when the question flies out of him. “Do you want to have children?” he asks casually, absentmindedly playing with their intertwined fingers where they’re splayed on his chest, as he lays on his back, Tommy pressed to his side. “What?” Tommy asks, surprise and even shock evident in his voice, and only then Buck realizes what he said, and he feels his eyes widen and face starts to burn, and he stares at the ceiling, but feels Tommy’s gaze on the side of his head. “I- I- I mean, like ever, some day, down the line- not like- I mean, you know, I- I just thought we should talk about it if- if- if it’s going where I hope it’s going- because I- we’ve been together for a while and I hope that- I think I-” he starts rambling and stumbling over his words, panicking just a little bit. Fuck, they’ve been doing so good the past few months, it’s honestly his best relationship he’s been in, and now he goes and screws it up by being too much, too soon, too serious- “Sorry, this is fast, I probably just freaked you out, sorry-” “Evan.” Tommy’s free hand lands on his cheek, and he gently turns Buck’s head towards himself. He meets Tommy’s soft gaze, and relaxes a little instantly. Tommy doesn’t look freaked out, just surprised, but there’s a hint of a smile dancing on his lips. “Hey, it’s okay. You just surprised me a little, that’s all. None of my relationships really got to the stage of talking about it, and if I tried, they freaked out. So I didn’t want to bring it up too soon, but you’re right, it is something to discuss. What spurred this on right now?” he asks, thumb gently moving along Buck’s cheek.

[read on Ao3]

[thebisexualdogdad]

City lights - sugar baby!Evan Buckley x male!reader

*A/N: as requested sugar baby Buck is back!*

“Looks like you had a good day,” you smile at Buck as he enters your room, two hotel workers following him with their hands full of shopping bags.

“You gave me your credit card in New York City of course I did,” he laughs.

The workers set the bags down and you hand them each a huge tip which they thank you for.

“Have a good evening Mr Y/L/N and Mr Buckley,” one of them tells you as they leave.

“Look at this view,” Buck says in awe, now standing in front of the window that overlooks the city.

“It is beautiful but I much prefer looking at you,” you reply, coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist, kissing his cheek.

“How was your meeting?” He smiles, “I know I already told you but you look so handsome in this suit.”

“Thank you love and we closed the deal,” you say with your hands grazing over his stomach.

“I knew you would,” he sighs when a hand travels down to his thigh right past where you know he wanted you.

“So what did you do today? Besides spending my money,” you tease, kissing under his ear.

“I went for a run in Central Park, I had brunch at that restaurant you recommended and then I bought all new clothes for our trip to Greece next week including some new speedos,” he tells you.

“I can't wait to see you in them,” you laugh, ghosting your hand over his growing bulge while the other slips under his shirt.

“Y/N,” he gasps.

“What is it baby?”

“Please touch me.”

“Like this?” You ask, grabbing his bulge through his pants.

He moans and is growing impatient as you begin slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

You're kissing his neck, running your hands over his abs and up to his chest, squeezing his large pecs.

The sun is setting and the city lights are becoming brighter making the view even more stunning as Bucks moans fill your ears.

“I need you so bad,” he sighs, rubbing his ass against you.

“Anything you want baby,” you tell him, pulling the zipper down on his pants and pulling his cock out of his underwear.

You stroke him with one hand while the other returns to his chest to toy with his nipples, twisting and tugging until he is fully hard.

His eyes are screwed shut, enjoying the feeling of you touching him when suddenly you pull away from him.

“Y/N?” He huffs upset.

“One second love, I just need to grab the lube,” you chuckle, stepping over to the dresser you put all your personal belongings in.

Buck is whining and you couldn't get back to him possibly fast enough.

He pushes his pants down around his ankles as you open the bottle of lube and squeeze some onto your fingers, Buck gasping when the cold gel coats his hole.

He braces himself on the window sill, moaning loudly when one finger pushes inside first and then after a few pumps a second.

His knees start to tremble as you take your time spreading him open.

“Fuck Y/N, I need your cock,” he mumbles under his breath.

“What was that?” You whisper in his ear.

“I need your cock,” he shouts and before he knows it your fingers are being replaced and he's being stretched to the brim.

His cries out and his grip on the window sill tightens as you find a steady pace with your hips.

He tries to close his eyes again but one of your hands go to his throat, “keep your eyes open baby don't want this view to go to waste do we?”

His mouth hangs opens, ungodly noises coming out of him with your hand gently squeezing his throat.

His cock swings around, slapping his stomach and his thighs while you're thoroughly fucking him.

“Do you wanna cum Evan?” You ask him and he nods, “I need to hear you say it dear.”

“I wanna cum, please let me cum,” he begs.

“Then cum for me,” you order, choking him harder.

Buck quickly strokes himself, cumming all over the window when you hit just the right spot inside him.

You loosen your grip on his throat while he rides out his high, the city lights now shining bright in the night.

Hearing Buck moan your name pushes you over the edge as well, filling him up which makes his knees buckle.

You slow your movements, Buck leaning on the window for support as wave after wave of his orgasm hits him.

He groans when you pull out of him a few moments later, cum dripping onto the floor.

“God Y/N no one has ever fucked me like you do,” he smiles.

“I told you the night we met that I would always take care of you Evan,” you say, turning him around so you could kiss him deeply, “now how about I order us some dinner from room service, you're gonna need the energy because I'm far from done with you.”

[eddiespornstache]

23 and 36 for bucktommy? ❤️

Anon no idea if you’re even checking my blog anymore but I am so sorry this fill took so long! If you do happen to see this, I appreciate your patience. Hope you enjoy Bucktommy + wearing someone’s clothes + being pushed against a wall

His Evan

“Where’s my—oh, crap.” Evan said.

Tommy poked his head out of the en-suite. Evan was pacing up and down the foot of the bed, in his slacks and a crisp white dress shirt that he’d only buttoned up halfway. The contents of his suitcase were strewn across the hotel bedspread, like a tornado had blown through in the few minutes Tommy had been showering.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked.

Evan looked over at him miserably. “My tie,” he said. “I forgot to pack a tie.”

Tommy choked down a small laugh. Only his Evan. “We flew out for a wedding and you forgot to pack a tie?”

“I had them all out,” Evan groaned. “I was trying to decide which one and I know that I decided on the green one but I must’ve never actually packed it. God, I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Tommy said automatically. He stopped himself just before going in for a hug—he was still a little damp from his shower and Evan’s shirt was pressed so nicely. Instead, he clasped Evan’s hands. Being reminded of their difference in hand size always seemed to pull a string out of Evan and make him a little looser. “It’s a mistake anyone could have made.”

“But we have to leave for the wedding in fifteen minutes!” Evan protested. “There’s not enough time to find a menswear store around here for a replacement, let alone a Target or something.”

“We don’t need a menswear store,” Tommy said. “I always pack a spare.”

“Oh,” Evan said, panic visibly deflating. “That’s handy.”

“I know,” Tommy winked, and turned to dig it out of his suitcase, which had escaped Hurricane Evan and was still entirely packed.

The spare he’d packed for this trip was a nice, simple pale blue dotted with subtle white dots that added just the right amount of texture. Tommy had bought it after an ex told him light blue brought out his eyes, but come to think of it, the same shade would bring out Evan’s eyes as well.

“Here,” he said. “This will look perfect on you. Do you need me to tie it?”

Evan blinked at him but didn’t respond, and didn’t reach out for the tie.

“Evan?” Tommy questioned.

“Um, I mean, I could tie it myself,” Evan stuttered out. “But if you didn’t mind–um, that would be fine.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t be any trouble at all. Give me a second to get myself dressed.”

Once Tommy was suited up, he turned back to Evan, who was holding the tie up in front of himself in the mirror, and blushing a brilliant pink at the apples of his cheeks and tips of his ears.

“It’s going to look so good on you, baby,” Tommy said. “Come here.”

He deftly knotted the tie around Evan’s neck while his boyfriend stood there, barely breathing. It was good to know that this was really doing it for both of them.

Tommy stepped back to admire his handiwork. “Look at you,” he said. “Looking so pretty, wearing my tie. It’s cause you’re mine. And everyone at the wedding is going to know that.”

Evan’s chest rose raggedly. Tommy had been right–the light blue brought out his large, round eyes perfectly.

They still had five minutes before they needed to leave for the venue. Screw it. Tommy grabbed Evan by the tie and manhandled him up against the wall, leaning in to capture his mouth with a bruising kiss. If it rumpled Evan’s shirt a little, that was okay. He’d be wearing a jacket, and he wouldn’t even get the chance to take it off at the reception. As soon as Tommy had the chance to congratulate the groom and say hello to his friends in the wedding party, they’d be coming back here so Tommy could strip his Evan down.

Maybe he’d leave the tie on. Just as a reminder of who Evan belonged to.

[typicalopposite]

zombie AU 🫣

because @blue-arts-stuff made this little gem right here (go give it all the love because *chefs kiss* the angst was angsting there) and it wormed its way into my brain and would not leave me alone until I made this!

CHECK THE TAGS FOR TRIGGER I BEG YOU!

Buck is tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally… just so goddamn tired. 

A storm is coming… he can feel it in the plates and screws that hold his leg together. He’d always thought that was a myth, but sure enough every big storm he feels a twinge of pain around them. They should get moving if they are going to make it before the rain starts. 

He scrumages through what supplies are available in the remains of the little corner shop. He only takes what he truly needs—which isn’t much—and leaves all that he can for whoever passes through next. Outside he can hear distant thunder, he needs to hurry. He unzips his bag and stuffs the supplies inside, catching a glimpse of the picture frame; he takes it out. 

Their wedding day. 

The smell of the ocean in the background, the sound of the cheers from their family as they vowed to have and to hold each other through it all… the sight of Tommy dressed in his tux, so handsome, so in love, so happy. 

They were so happy… for a while. They didn’t get nearly enough time before the outbreak.

Then it was long days, and longer nights of fighting to stay alive; fighting to keep everyone they cared about alive. So in vain, and slowly they watched as their family dwindled down until there were just a handful of them left. 

It was supposed to be a simple night run. They needed water. They needed more medicine. The store was so close… but not close enough. The attack was brutal. More lives lost. 

Tommy got bit. 

“Ev- Evan, baby… listen to me,” he tried, as Buck panickedly tried to clean out the wound. 

“No. I can— I can fix this… just let me think.”

“Evan.”

“We— We’ll cut off your arm,” he suggests. “It’s worked before…”

“It’s already spreading, baby. Look…” Tommy pulls up the bloody sleeve revealing the bluish green streaks running towards his neck and chest. “It’s too late… you have to.” 

“No.”

“Baby, we promised each other—” Tommy begged, tears falling from his eyes, the infection visibly creeping up his neck. Buck frantically shook his head, tuning out Tommy’s cries. “Evan!” He gasped. “Shoot me! Please!”

“No! I can’t!”

***

Buck wipes his eyes and slides the frame back into the bag. He slowly rises to his feet and slowly makes his way over to the bathroom and pushes the door open. Loud snarling, grunting and gurgling—that would normally send him into fight or flight mode—comes out of the darkness. He shines his flashlight into the room, stepping inside and unclipping the chain from one of the stalls. “Come on, sweetheart… we’re almost there.” 

They walk through the empty streets of what used to be LA; Buck leading Tommy (wrapped safely in a makeshift straight jacket, and wearing a muzzle) by the thick chain. The latter stumbles and growls, his head snapping this way and that, teeth chattering as he does his best to chomp at anything past the muzzle. They make it home just as the rain starts to fall. 

Buck steps inside the door, pulls Tommy through as well, and looks around at what’s left of their destroyed house—some of the mess they had made themselves in the panic to flee the infected city, some done after by people looking for shelter and supplies. He walks through the rooms, remembering the days they were filled with happy memories and life; the promise of a bright future. They were going to grow old in this house… live out the rest of their lives in this house. 

At least one of those was correct.  

He sighs, and leads Tommy up to the bedroom, securing him on the solid, sturdy, bedpost of their king size bed. He opens the bag, takes out the frame and sets it up on the bedside table. He takes out what he got from the little corner shop—a gun shop— and grits his teeth as he lifts his shirt, revealing the bite mark he’s been tirelessly trying to keep from spreading… until now. 

“Buck you have to let him go,” they had tried to tell him. “It’s not even— he wouldn’t want this… to live like this… for you to live like this…” 

He has lost so many people, the ones he didn’t lose to the virus, he lost for his impulsive, borderline insane decision. He’s been alone for a while… but at least he still had Tommy, in some way. 

Buck fights just to take in another breath, and puts a bullet into the gun. Tommy grunts and struggles against his restraints. “Almost ready,” Buck says. He is tired… but he won’t be for long. He walks over to Tommy and unhooks the chain from the bed. He looks into those glossed over eyes, gray and distant and thinks about when they were blue and bright and happy. They were happy once. Maybe they will be happy again in the next life. 

He slips a key in the restraints lock, swiftly turning it and releasing Tommy, He quickly pulls him into a hug, Tommy grabbing him back, turning his head into Buck’s neck and biting down. Buck pressing his head tight against Tommy’s. “I love you,” he says, and closes his eyes. 

The cool barrel against his cheek turns into a cool breeze and the salty smell of the ocean fills the air. Buck opens his eyes and is met with a beautiful sunset, a crowded beach… and Tommy, smiling at him. He blinks a few times to see if it’s all just going to disappear… 

“Hey baby, I’ve been waiting for you,” Tommy says, holding out his hand, the remnant of sunlight catching on his wedding band. Buck stares at Tommy for a moment, just taking in the sight. He smiles and takes his hand, and they join their family out by the water. 

.

.

.

It’s years later before the Buckley-Kinard house is visited again. 

Years since they were sent away to a safe haven while their parents fought off hoard after hoard, until the virus had runs its course. Those lost souls that weren’t instantly killed from the virus, or the battalion sent out to fight off the undead the virus created, eventually just rotted away until they were no longer a threat. 

“Hey Chris!” Jee calls from a bedroom. “I found something!” He stops poking around with one of his canes, rummaging for anything left to salvage from the house he spent many days of his youth, and goes to see what she found. In the back bedroom, laid out across the mattress of a tattered king sized bed, are two skeletons clinging to each other. 

“Do you think it’s them?” Jee asks. 

Chris steps closer, inspects the bodies; most notably their hands, and the matching bands they both are wearing. He looks up at the faded picture still sitting on the bedside table and smiles, a tear slipping from his eye. “Yeah… it’s them.” 

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

Midnight Rain Ch. 3

Rich Mans World Series | Man After Midnight Series | Chapter 2 | Donations | Thoughts & Feelings

“It’s nice to meet you Steve,” you shook his hand before furrowing your brows. “Steve Rogers….I know that name….did you grow up around here?” you asked before smiling. “Im Y/N Y/L/N ...oh well Y/N Evans now…um, well….” you held a confused face before smiling. “It's complicated…” he grinned and nodded. “I did, I know your father, we actually grew up together, well kinda, I mean when we were younger we played together.” he smiled. You laughed a little, “Yeah, that's right you were scrawny,” he chuckled and nodded, a tint of red covering his cheeks, “sounds like I made an impression on you then.” You smiled and nodded, “You were pretty nice, how's life been treating you?” you asked as he shrugged, “alright, I uh, broke up with my girlfriend about a year ago, moved back here to start over in a more comfortable setting.” you nodded as he reached into his pocket. “You should call me sometime, we could go get coffee together, catch up,” he handed you a card. 

You gently took it, before you could even realize what you were doing or saying you nodded, “Yeah, that sounds great actually.” you smiled softly as he grinned. “Great! Hey, I gotta head out but I’ll talk to you soon yeah?” you nodded “yeah, it was great seeing you,” you smiled as he leant down and pecked your cheek before winking at you and walking away. You watched him go, staring over every inch of him. “What the fuck was that?” Brooke asked, causing you to jump and look at her. “Brooke, Jesus you scared me…” you said, taking a breath before she started in. “So this morning, you’re cuddled up in bed with your husband and now this afternoon you’re getting kissed by men in a store?!” You glared at her. “I grew up with Steve, he’s an old friend.” you walked up tossing your basket into her cart, “and lets not forget what my “husband” did to me. Had he not been out screwing anything with two legs and a pussy, maybe my baby wouldn’t have died because my husband would have been there to protect me and her.” you glared at Brooke, something in you this morning had just...clicked back in place. Maybe it was Chris, maybe it was seeing him treating you so delicately, you didn’t know, but that mourning and grieving stage was over, you’d officially moved on to the anger stage of your grief. 

See, that’s the thing about grief…there's 5 stages to it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Everyone plays it off as if these 5 stages happen to you in some certain order. Like “oh! I’ve moved on from depression! Now I'm in acceptance.” But for you, that wasn’t the case. Your first stage was acceptance. When you woke up in the hospital you accepted what had happened to you and your baby. You knew it was some evil son of a bitch who was probably after Chris and wanted to hurt him. Your first stop would be the Irish, seeing how they wanted to ensure Chris felt some kind of pain for how Tristan was done. Your second stage was depression, you remained depressed for months and even now, you knew you were officially in the anger stage. 

You turned, walking away from her and heading out of the store toward the car, Brooke watched after you, concern filling her features. What was going on with you? This sudden change in you had her nervous, were you diving off the official deep end? 

You stood out by the car, pulling your phone out and dialing the number off Steve's card, “Hey! It’s Y/N, I was going to see if you wanted to get coffee tomorrow? If so, just either text or call me and we can set up a time.” you smiled and ended the call leaving him a voicemail. You looked around, watching people walk around the parking lot, coming and going to the store, you sighed. All you had wanted was a normal, simple life. You knew being with a mobster would never, ever, be a normal life, but you had hoped with Chris everything would be different. 

Brooke came out a few minutes later and began to load the bags into the car. You held your hand out after helping her. She looked at you, raising an eyebrow. “What?” She asked with a slight attitude. “Keys.” you said, staring at her. “What? No, this is my car!” she looked shocked you’d even asked. You however, raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, whose car is this?” you asked, narrowing your eyes. Brooke cleared her throat, “Sorry it's technically your car, but I’ve been driving it for so long now it just feels like my car, but I think you shouldn’t drive yet.” she said as you shook your head. “Sorry Brooke, I’m back, now give me my keys so we can get our asses back to work.” she stared at you nervously as she handed you the keys. 

Chris sat at the kitchen island, drinking a cup of coffee and wondering what switched in you, suddenly you were ready to get up and go to the store? Bucky had explained that since you’d come back to their apartment you hadn’t done anything regarding leaving the house. He wondered if you were feeling more like yourself since the two of you had reconnected on some level. He smiled softly, hoping to hear from you today. Maybe he’d invite you out for dinner one night this week. He’d have to see when he had a free night, he had several new clubs opening and needed to make an appearance at them. 

Chris was beginning to have some hope that, maybe one day you’d be back in his arms, living here at home with him again. You’d be allowed to properly mourn the loss of your child and he’d be there to comfort you, while also mourning himself. He didn’t understand who would have done such a horrid thing. He called Anthony and Sebastian, telling them he wanted to meet with them whenever they were free that day. He began planning a security detail to watch over you. He then wanted to start looking into each and every person that had come into contact with the two of you since you’d married him.

Chris smiled to himself, so maybe you didn’t want to get divorced after all, maybe now you two would be a family again. He would find who had hurt you, who had hurt your baby, his sweet little girl, and he would make them pay. He would remind the world of who he was, what he was capable of. He would burn the entire world to the ground if that meant you would come back to him. All he wanted was for you to come back home.

You drove around, taking calls, making stops. Brooke was texting Sebastian, telling him every move you were making. “That’s fine, I can work with that. Tell him I want to meet face to face. I dont give a shit if he’s busy! I’m trying to find out who murdered my child!” you yelled. “Now text me with the god damn details or your head is next on my fucking platter!” you hung up the phone throwing it in the backseat with anger. “Maybe we should head home now Y/N, Sebastian wants to start on dinner and plus, it was a big day! You got back to your old self, maybe a nice hot bubble bath and a glass of wine? Sounds pretty good huh? And, we can even get into work mode for tomorrow.” Brooke said as you huffed. “Relax Brooke, I’m not crazy, I’ve just realized it's time to get back to work and get this shit figured out.” you said, glancing at her. Your phone buzzed in the back seat as you headed back toward Brooke and Sebastian's place. 

Steve had texted you, telling you he was absolutely free to meet for coffee, and he wanted to meet up with you at 11am, which worked out perfect for you because you could get your life back on track. You stood in your bedroom staring at the sight before you. You began packing up boxes, labeling them as donations or keep before moving down the hallway to the door that hadn’t been opened in months. 

You opened the door, revealing the stuffy and slightly dusty light pink nursery; boxes sat unmade against the wall with packing tape and bubble wrap sitting in front of them. You looked at the dresser, the small pink urn sat in the middle. You purse your lips looking around before taking a deep breath and stepping inside, closing the door gently behind you. It was time you started healing, and this was the first step.

Tag List:

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[connectionterminated13]

🧟‍♂️ :]

My special stinky guy......

-Mike is the result of a one night stand William had with a hippie woman named Tina and was viciously fought over for the months leading up to his birth and The first 2 after it. Neither Tina nor William wanted to take responsibility for the infant. Finally the responsibility fell on Michael when Tina Handed him baby Michael then proceeded to ride off on a motorcycle with her new boyfriend.

-Michael lived with his dad who was single until At around 4 years old William got into a horrible bloody accident with the prototype Spring lock suit and was forced to spend about 3 months in the hospital. In the hospital he met a woman by the name of Clarice Salva, Who he began dating in the hospital not telling her about his Son. For the rest of her life Michael despised his stepmom and his stepmom didn't like him much.

-When Michael was little he wanted to be a pirate when he grew up and after having some very serious conversations with Charlie they decided they would be space pirate Superheroes when they grew up.

- Michael is hit very very hard by charlie's death. He was only 10 when it happened and Charlie was his best friend in the whole world and he didn't understand why She was never coming back. Like he had known about death before that but death was for old people and Relatives you didn't know not for your best friend.. William told him to Take a cigarette and shut upp because no amount of crying is going to bring Charlie back. And so William made the great mistake of giving his 10-year-old son a cigarette Starting Michael's life-and-death long addiction to the thing.

- Teenage Michael was a jerk. He'd beat you up if you looked the wrong way and he never got in trouble because he was just a boy being a boy and you didn't really want to mess with William Afton did you? So Michael was allowed to hurt whoever he wanted and Basically do whatever he wanted and most of the town thought he was just a misguided but generally good teenage boy.

- As a teenager Michael Did a lot of artwork for Fredbears Because even then at 13 he was a good artist. He never got paid for any of this.

-After the bite Michael didn't cry he just started laughing. Like the monitor flat lines and all Michael can do is fall over himself laughing like a madman . Because it's so funny isn't it Michael the mistake, Michael the screw up, killed sweet little Evan the favorite child? Later in life Michael Wish he didn't have that reaction.

- Postbite Michael's relationship with Elizabeth and the remainder of his family was horrible His stepmother who had always had a secret disliking for him outright hated him for murdering her son and soon after her son's death began to fell ill And then one night mysteriously disappear leaving Michael to take care of little Lizzie as their father went insane.

- Michael is a very good cook because he had to cook for Lizzie a lot since their dad was too busy working on robot stuff...

- Mike got into a lot of fights with his dad around this time especially after one incident where Liz interrupted their father working and got a glass bottle thrown at her. Michael threatened a lot to take Elizabeth.

- Michael threatens to run away and live with the mom he's never met for most of this era until Elizabeth's disappearance when he actually does it.

- Michael is basically a carbon copy of his dad except for his height he got that from his mom and kind of his skin tone. He's a couple shades darker than William which Becomes more pronounced after the Spring locking

[sugdenlovesdingle]

You know that scene in Emmerdale's Aaron and Robert are having that hushed little married couple argument about letting Faith in the house (she's trying to move in), we'll I would love something like that for Buck and Tommy 😂.

Like maybe Eddie or Madney just won't leave and they're having a quiet argument in the kitchen about who's fault it was that they're even there in the first place 😂

Oh i can definitely see it happening with Eddie. They invited him over for dinner or something to cheer him up and then expect him to just go home after, only he's had too much to drink to be able to drive and drunk!Eddie gets all melancholy and Buck is torn between wanting to Be There for his best friend and wanting to get naked with his hot boyfriend.

I don't know if you meant it as a fic prompt but this happened:

----

"What do we do? He can't go home like this." Buck said quietly, one eye on Eddie slumped over on the sofa.

He'd invited Eddie along when he mentioned going to Tommy's to cook for him, knowing Tommy wouldn't mind, and the evening had been nice. Only one beer with dinner turned into a lot of beers during and after dinner, and Eddie moping and talking about how his life was a mess.

"I know, he's had way too much to drink." Tommy agreed, having joined Buck in the kitchen under the guise of helping him with dessert.

"Maybe I should call him an Uber."

"He'll pass out in the car and they'll leave him on the curb. And that's the best case scenario."

Buck groaned and dropped his head on Tommy's shoulder.

"I hate it when you're right." he stepped a little closer and wrapped his arms around Tommy's waist, letting out a content sigh when the other man's wrapped around his shoulders and he pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Maybe he'll just pass out on the sofa soon and we'll get him a blanket and some aspirin for the hangover tomorrow, and we can go upstairs." Tommy said hopeful.

"Tomás!" Eddie called out from the living room. "You still owe me a rematch from our mu-my-mui our sesh the other day! Let's go big man! I can take you!" he stood up from the sofa and almost lost his balance.

Tommy winced.

"Maybe I should go make sure he doesn't get himself killed falling through the glass table."

Buck tightened his grip on Tommy's waist.

"Not yet."

"What're youtwo doing'nthere?" Eddie had stumbled into the kitchen. "You're making out! In secret!"

"No, no, we weren't. We're just... standing here." Buck said, wishing Eddie would go back to the living room and give them five minutes of peace.

"Uhuh... that's what me and Shannon used t'do. And then, and thennn... there was Chris!"

"I don't think there's any risk of that happening for us." Tommy said, amused.

Eddie considered his words for a moment and then nodded.

"But Buck likes kids! He's like... the... baby whisperer. He... he... can talk to kids... you know? You need to give him a baby. Do you hear me Tomás? You gotta give Buck a baby."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Hey Eds, do you want to crash on the sofa tonight? It's getting late." Buck offered.

Eddie frowned.

"No. No. Noooo. I'll just... go hooome. To my big... house... with no-one in it... because my son went to Texas... bcuz I screwed up."

"Nope you're staying here." Tommy insisted. "Or else Evan and I will be worrying about you all night and wondering if you made it home in one piece." He reluctantly let go of Buck and gently steered Eddie back to the living room.

"You don't have to worry about me!" Eddie announced, a little too loudly. "I'll be fiiiine!"

"Yeah, well, you can be fine on my sofa for tonight. Humour me." Tommy told him. "Evan, can you get the blanket and pillow from the spare room for him?"

About an hour later, Eddie was snoring on the sofa and Buck followed Tommy up the stairs to the bedroom. He let himself fall forward onto the bed and buried his face in Tommy's pillow, not turning around until he felt the other man's hand running down his spine.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, deciding to bury his face in Tommy's chest instead.

"What for?"

"Ruining date night..."

"Evan..." Tommy started and waited for Buck to look at him. "Nothing's ruined. You wanted to cheer your best friend up because he's going through a tough time. What's so bad about that?"

Buck gave him a one armed shrug.

"It's not exactly the romantic night we planned..."

"No... but we have plenty of opportunities for romantic nights together. I wouldn't be able to enjoy it anyway if I knew Eddie was home alone feeling miserable. And I know you wouldn't either."

"I suppose not." Buck agreed. "And the hangover he'll have when he wakes up will be plenty of payback." he joked and they both laughed.

[cressthebest]

Tender Curiosities, Baby! thoughts pt. 1

okay, so i lied. this is not the end of my ahb posts, cause this fic is part of the ahb universe. please forgive me

chapter 1:

1. the chapter starts with evan and barty in jail 😭😭😭 this is off to a great start

2. reg is pissed beyond belief but bails them out anyways <333333

3. “Regulus knew that they would screw up. He loved them anyway. They knew that Regulus would come, every time. Even when he said he wouldn’t.” AHHHHHHH

4. regulus being alive in this universe again is giving me major tears. i missed him being alive in the ahb universe. i know it’s short lived, but i’m so happy

5. reg being the one to connect evan and barty is so lovely to me. but also so sad knowing he won’t get to be at their wedding!!

6. evan is so down bad for barty already, god damn. first chapter

7. barty standing up mid final exam and ripping his paper is so canon- i can’t even handle

8. evan is giving demi romantic and i am ALL FOR THAT

9. “"One day, you two can work with me, and it'll be different," Regulus would say, when Barty came back with bruised knuckles or when Evan would come home limping from a run in with Mulciber's men.” AND THEY DO! THEY DO WORK FOR REG ONE DAY!!!

10. OH SHIT WAIT- NOW EVAN IS TALKING ABOUT THE FIRST TIME BARTY KISSED HIM??? OH MY GOD

11. 😳😳😳 oh my god. chapter one and we find out about how barty likes to choke evan. this is wild

12. oh. oh. OH MY GOD

13. they’re going at it, holy shit

14. “The first time Barty kissed Evan, they had sex.” GOD DAMN. that’s wild.

15. … 😐 dude. barty. what the fuck. he says he’s not gay, and the sex was just as friends. and they keep on having moments like this. that’s wild. i just- AHH dude come on

16. “What a vicious and tender cycle it was.” that line is lovely, what the fuck. both a callback to the title, while being so lovely and so heartbreaking. author has SKILLS

[klarolinexluv]

Relating random TSwizzle lyrics to the marauders era Part 3…

——————♛——————

“Slut!”

Remus about Sirius: Everyone wants him, that was my crime

James about Regulus: The wrong place at the right time

Sirius about Remus: And I break down, then he's pullin' me in

Regulus about James: In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

Say Don’t Go

Regulus about James: I've known it from the very start. We’re a shot in the darkest dark

James to Regulus: I’m standin' on a tightrope alone. I hold my breath a little bit longer. Halfway out the door, but it won't close. I'm holdin' out hope for you to. Say, "Don't go". I would stay forever if you say, "Don't go"

Barty to Regulus: Why'd you have to. Make me want you? Why'd you have to. Give me nothin' back? Why'd you have to. Make me love you? I said, "I love you". You say nothin' back.

James to Regulus: Why'd you have to lead me on? Why'd you have to twist the knife? Walk away and leave me bleedin', bleedin'? Why'd you whisper in the dark. Just to leave me in the night? Now your silence has me screamin', screamin'

Now That We Don’t Talk

Regulus to Sirius: You grew your hair long. You got new icons. And from the outside. It looks like you're tryin' lives on. I miss the old ways. You didn't have to change. But I guess I don't have a say. Now that we don't talk

Sirius to Regulus: Remind myself, the morе I gave, you'd want me less. I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost, now that we don't talk

Suburban Legends

Lily to James: You had people who called you on unmarked numbers

Lily to James: You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious

Evan to Barty: When you hold me, it holds me together. And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

Regulus about James: I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it

Is It Over Now

Remus to Sirius, post The Prank: You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor. You search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater, baby

Regulus to James, post Dark Mark: Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin'. Off of very tall somethings. Just to see you come runnin'. And say the one thing I've been wanting, but no

Regulus to Barty: Was it over when she laid down on your couch? Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse? "Come here," I whispered in your ear. In your dream as you passed out, baby. Was it over then? And is it over now?

part 2 || part 4

[megalony]

Have You Slept- Part 2

This is the second part to my previous Evan Buckley imagine, thank you all for the lovely feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like this one, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Evan invites the team to meet his wife and twins who he is very protective over. As one of the boys is autistic and (Y/n) happens to have narcolepsy.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaning against the doorframe, (Y/n) folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. A soft smile flooded her face as she looked over at her little family.

She thought it had been a bit too quiet up here for Evan to be upstairs with the boys. Especially when Cole had been playing with his trucks earlier and Finn was never silent in anything he did.

They were fast asleep.

Evan didn't usually take naps in the afternoon, especially not after he'd been on a night shift. He preferred to stay awake all day and go to sleep at night so he got a full night's rest and it didn't screw with his body clock. But he had been on shift all day yesterday and into the night.

(Y/n) had left her boys upstairs for all of an hour when she realised it was far too quiet for them.

She hadn't expected to find Evan laid out in the middle of their bed, laid on his side with his face hidden behind a pillow. He had one arm draped around Cole who was tucked up against him with his hands and face smushed against Evan's chest. And Finn was laid out on (Y/n)'s pillow with his face nuzzled into Evan's curls. Finn usually laid horizontally across his bed and usually on top of the pillows rather than stretched out. They weren't sure why.

Taking her phone from her pocket, (Y/n) snapped a quick picture before she advanced into the room with Dodger right behind her.

"No, leave them alone." She hushed quietly and clicked her finger before Dodger had chance to get on the bed.

He would definitely wake all of them up if he clambered on the bed with them and Evan needed his rest and the boys needed a nap. They all looked far too sweet and endearing to risk having Dodger wake them up.

She reached out and turned the tv down since it was playing a Scooby Doo cartoon. Evan liked background noise to send him to sleep, he couldn't handle the silence whereas the twins could sleep anywhere, anytime. Even Finn could sleep easily despite his active nature.

(Y/n) would let her boys get their rest and she would join them later. She was trying to take one nap in the afternoon at the same time to regulate her body clock and let herself rest. She was more tired than usual now she was pregnant again.

She stripped down to her underwear and rummaged in Evan's chest of drawers as quietly as she could until she found one of his lounge sets of a shirt and matching shorts. They weren't going anywhere this afternoon and she would rather be comfy than look presentable after a shower.

She took a lasting glance at her boys before she shooed Dodger out the room and let him trail after her into the bathroom.

As usual, Dodger flopped to lay down beside the shower with his head near the shower door.

He stayed in the bathroom with (Y/n) in case she had any cataplexy or sleep attacks when she was alone. Dodger could alert her in time for (Y/n) to sit down and keep safe. It wasn't safe for (Y/n) to take baths alone, even a microsleep could cause her to slip under water and she could drown or choke. The only times (Y/n) had a bath was when Evan took one with her.

And they had two handrails in the shower in case (Y/n) fell or had cataplexy and needed to lower herself to the floor.

(Y/n) left the shower door open just a little so Dodger could keep his nose near the door and sense her and keep an eye on her.

She could hear the tv fluttering quietly in the background since she'd left the bedroom door open. It was nice to have some background noise other than the sound of the water raining down on her. She tilted her head forward but didn't close her eyes. She didn't need the risk of letting her mind get confused and sending her into a microsleep.

Her hand smoothed across the base of her stomach when a sudden kick made her smile. She knew Evan was hoping for a girl this time. He would be over the moon either way, but he wanted a girl at some point in the future. (Y/n) could see if they had a girl, she would be a daddy's girl just like Finn was a mummy's boy. Evan would be a menace with a girl, he would spoil a daughter. Either Evan was going to have a little girl, or an army of boys to take after him.

Dodger was barking.

A shiver coursed down (Y/n)'s spine and her smile faded as she turned her head to look over her shoulder.

He had nudged the shower door open and started pawing at the back of her leg as he began to whine. (Y/n) took the hint and reached out to grab the handrail just as she felt her head drop forward and her eyes closed.

"Hhm… what?" A groan tumbled past Evan's lips as his hand that had been tucked beneath the pillow groggily moved to rub at his eyes.

He felt one of the boys nestle further into his chest and he was sure he could feel them kissing his chest. When he tilted his head back, Evan reached out towards whichever twin was tucked around his head like a scarf and he quickly realised it had to be Finn around his head and Cole on his chest.

A bark made Evan's eyes snap open and he tried to pick his head up before he suddenly felt Dodger nudging his nose against his bare back and pawing at his hips.

Oh no.

"Shit, shit." Evan uncurled his arm from around Cole and shuffled backwards to let Cole flop into the middle and allow Finn to pull away from his head and curl around the pillow instead.

His feet hit the floor and he stumbled over the jeans he had stripped off earlier before he went and fumbled over Dodger. His elbow smacked into the side table and he swallowed a groan as he took three tumbling steps forward when Dodger continued to get stuck under his feet.

"Move!" He was always grateful to have Dodger around for emergencies like this, but the labrador wasn't great in a panic when he always seemed to find his way under Evan's feet and trip him up. He hissed quietly, cradling his elbow as he bolted from the bedroom. It didn't take much to know (Y/n) was in the bathroom. The door was open, the light was on and Evan could hear the shower running.

Evan propelled himself around the doorframe and bolted towards the shower door that was swung wide open.

"Baby? Baby,"

Swatting his hand out, Evan grabbed the dial and turned the shower off, but not before his upper half and his hair got drenched under the tap.

He bent down until his knees hit the plastic floor and he knelt down in the puddle of water and bubbles foaming around his bare legs. The way his knees harshly hit the floor caused droplets to splutter up and cascade onto the walls and over his chest.

(Y/n) had one arm stretched up on the side of the shower with her hand slumped at an odd angle between the handrail and the wall. She had tried to lower herself down but Evan couldn't tell if she had managed it or if she had fell. Her knees were curled oddly beneath her with her shoulders slumped back against the wall and her head had flopped forward so her chin was tucked down against her chest.

Reaching out, Evan cupped (Y/n)'s face and gently tilted her head back against the wall. He pressed his thumb against her cheek and started to swipe it across her skin as his right hand curled into a fist and he began rubbing his knuckles up and down her sternum.

He could feel Dodger hovering nervously behind him and every few seconds, his nose would brush against Evan's back and shoulder as if to let him know that he was still standing faithful behind him.

"Come on baby. Wake up… there's my girl." Tilting his head back, Evan glanced around and reached out for the towel slumped over the side of the sink.

He wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s back and slowly eased her forward until he could wrap the towel around her back and pull it over her shoulders. He froze for a moment when (Y/n)'s hand moved to grab his wrist and his face fell when he saw her trying to come back round.

Her eyes were watering as they tried to focus on him and he could see her breaths were starting to run away without her.

"Did you hurt yourself, baby? You okay?" He trailed his fingertips across her skin and looked down to see if she had any bruises forming or any tender spots. He hadn't heard a bang so he was hoping she hadn't fallen down like a ton of bricks and had managed to lower herself down instead. But that didn't mean to say she hadn't hurt herself in the process.

A whimper passed her lips as she slowly pulled her arm down and a twinge of pain shot through her wrist that had bent awkwardly around the handrail. She did her best to lower herself down before she dropped. The last thing (Y/n) wanted was to fall and hurt herself or the baby.

"Just a sprain," Evan mumbled and kissed her wrist and the action made (Y/n) want to smile, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She shakily held his wrist and moved his hand until he pressed his palm against her lower stomach. "Well you've certainly woken them up." His fingers skimmed along her stomach and made aimless patterns while he felt a round of kicking bashing into his palm.

(Y/n) kept tight hold of Evan's wrist even when he carefully let go of her stomach so he could hold her waist and shuffle her forward towards him. But when she sat up, a gasp tumbled past her lips as her head dropped forward and bashed into Evan's chest.

Her fingers tightened around his wrist and she tried to hold down a groan. Her cataplexy was starting up again. She felt the way her head hit Evan's chest with a thud and sent him jolting backwards before he regained his balance.

"Ooh baby, come on. I think you need a nap." Evan pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head and held her chin to lift her head onto his shoulder.

She had had an attack in the shower and now she was having cataplexy, she needed to go to sleep to settle her system and recalibrate.

"Up on three. One, two, three,"

When he felt (Y/n) holding his shoulders, Evan slowly pushed up and pulled (Y/n) to her feet. He let her lean her weight onto his chest and he backed up out the shower and spun round so he could ease (Y/n) down onto the toilet.

He knelt between her legs and rested his elbows on her thighs, grinning up at her softly while he helped her dry off. She heard hum mumble 'sneaky' under his breath when he looked over and realised she'd stolen a pair of his lounge wear clothes from his drawer.

"Do you feel okay, you haven't hurt yourself?" He smoothed his hands up and down (Y/n)'s thighs while she slowly pulled his shirt over her head. She managed a smile when Evan leaned forward just before she pulled the shirt over her stomach. He pressed his lips against her stomach and moved his hands up her thighs, around her curved stomach and towards her back so he could cup her waist.

"Just drowsy, I think we're okay." (Y/n) didn't have any sudden aches or pains anywhere and the baby was okay. They didn't need to take another trip to the emergency room, that had happened far too often in the past.

She let Evan take her hands and pull her up to her feet again before he turned them round so he was behind her like a shadow. His hands planted down firmly on her hips and gave a comforting squeeze. He kept her in front of him and stayed glued to her back as Dodger led the way out the bathroom.

Reaching her hand out, (Y/n) pressed her palm to the wall and her other hand curled around Evan's wrist when his hands curved round from her hips to cradle the bottom of her stomach beneath her shirt. It was comforting to feel his warm hands on her skin and his hard chest up against her back like a safety net.

They walked like they were conjoined and (Y/n) tilted her head back onto Evan's shoulder, just in case she had another cataplexy attack and couldn't hold her head up.

Just as they reached the threshold of the bedroom, (Y/n) gasped when her legs gave in.

It felt like she had turned to jelly. Cataplexy made her muscles relax and go weak as her body got confused between wanting to be in a sleeping state and needing to be awake. It was like she suddenly turned paralysed for a few seconds at a time. Usually it kicked in when (Y/n) felt a rush of adrenaline or when she was excited, but when her body was confused and unable to regulate for sleep, cataplexy crept up on her whenever it liked.

Her knees crashed into the carpet and she felt Evan bash his shoulder into the door as he doubled over her and tried to keep her upright. His hands managed to stay around her stomach and he bent his knees out around (Y/n).

"Fuck- Dodger out the way boy." Evan nudged Dodger back when he started to bark again. He pranced in front of them, shifting his weight from foot to foot and started rubbing his nose into Evan's bare thigh. "Baby you're gonna go again, I'm just gonna carry you, okay?"

(Y/n) barely had chance to nod while Evan held her wrist and looped her right arm around the back of his neck. But when he looked back down at her face, he watched her chin flop forward onto her chest. She'd gone again. Evan scooped an arm beneath her knees and gripped her waist securely before he lifted her up into his arms.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head as he walked into the bedroom with (Y/n) limp in his arms. He couldn't count the times he had carried her back to bed when she'd taken a nap or had a sleep attack like this. It was part and parcel of their life now.

His knees pressed into the edge of the bed and he lowered (Y/n) down just as she started to murmur and groan, waking up again. A softer smile fluttered across Evan's lips as he kissed her temple and planted his hands down on either side of her arms as if he were caging her in beneath him. He hooked his leg around and climbed over her, smothering his lips on the side of her neck to tickle her as he moved onto his side of the bed where Cole was.

"There we go, you go to sleep sweetheart."

Evan felt wide awake now but he would gladly watch tv for a while and see if he could doze back off to sleep while the rest of his family slept.

He tugged the cover over (Y/n) and propped himself up in the middle of the bed while Cole wriggled around. Evan had wedged himself right in the middle with (Y/n) on his right and Cole on his side of the bed on the left. And he gently shuffled Finn down off the pillow and eased him onto his chest for a snuggle to keep him settled and asleep.

Finn curled his knees up to his stomach and looped his arms around Evan's neck while he wedged his face into the crook of Evan's neck.

He found himself smiling when (Y/n)'s leg slumped over his thigh until her lower leg rested between his knees and she buried her face into his shoulder with her arms curled around his bicep. She pinned his arm into her chest and nudged closer until her front was glued up into his side. Evan grinned and pressed his palm against her lower stomach while he looped his free arm around Cole. He had one of them tucked under each arm and Finn crushing down comfortably on his chest.

***

Glancing at the watch on his wrist, Evan sighed and tilted his head back against the headboard. They had another half an hour before Maddie would be bringing the twins back home.

She had decided to take them out for the day to the aquarium. The bright colours and large glass tanks were like beacons to Finn and he loved them. And Cole loved learning about anything new so while Finn studied the tanks, Cole would read through the plaques and learn about all the fish.

Evan only had two hours left before he needed to get ready. The team were heading out for drinks tonight and he was going out with them. It had been a while since they had all gone on a night out and he was looking forward to it. He just wished (Y/n) was tagging along.

It didn't feel right leaving his family at home and going out somewhere without them. Maddie had offered to have the twins for the night, but (Y/n) didn't feel like going out. She loved the team, she was starting to think of them as her family, but her cataplexy was really playing up this week.

It came and went in spasms and she could go weeks without an attack, but she was having two or three almost every day. (Y/n) didn't want to go out and fall or almost head-butt the table or have an attack in public. And she couldn't drink anyway since she was pregnant. She would be sat in the corner feeling uneasy and unwell. It was safer and calmer if (Y/n) had a movie night in with the boys, and Maddie if she fancied staying for a while.

And it meant Evan could go out with the team and enjoy himself for the night.

Evan moved his hand to rub the bridge of his nose before he slung his arm back behind his head and left his right arm curled around (Y/n).

She was tucked up into his side with her back pressed into his right side and she had confiscated his arm and tucked it under her head. Not that he minded at all.

Whatever was on the tv wasn't capturing Evan's attention very much. He felt like closing his eyes and having a nap along with (Y/n). But he doubted it would make him feel refreshed, he would end up going out tonight feeling tired and sleepy if he went to sleep for half an hour. His body didn't need any extra sleep like (Y/n) did.

A jolt coursed through Evan's body and he scanned his eyes around when he suddenly heard Dodger barking.

He'd forgotten Dodger was in the bedroom with them if he was being honest.

When Evan came upstairs with (Y/n) attached to his front and his lips glued to her neck, he knew Dodger had remained downstairs with a new toy. Dodger was always more alert when Evan wasn't in the same room as (Y/n) or when he was out. When Evan was home, Dodger seemed to understand that Evan would take care of her.

He wasn't sure when Dodger had wormed his way into the room and flopped down on his blanket at the bottom of their bed. Sometime after Evan had had his way with (Y/n), presumably.

"Dodger, what is it boy?"

He watched Dodger perk up from the end of the bed and trot round to (Y/n)'s side of the bed. He sat down and leaned his chin on the bed, nuzzling his nose against (Y/n)'s arm as he started to whine.

A frown formed on Evan's lips as he moved to lean over (Y/n) and pressed his hand against her neck.

Her heartbeat had suddenly started to race. Usually when (Y/n)'s heartbeat dropped swiftly, that was a sign that she was going to have a sleep attack and Dodger could sense it. Her heart speeding up was normally a sign of cataplexy because that sometimes happened when she was excited or fuelled with adrenaline.

But (Y/n) was asleep.

She wasn't at risk of having an attack when she was already having a nap and she didn't have cataplexy when she was asleep.

"Baby… baby," Evan drawled as he brushed his thumb across (Y/n)'s jaw and carefully turned her so she was laying on her back and he was hovering over her.

Maybe she was having a nightmare. Her narcolepsy caused very vivid dreams for (Y/n). Some dreams were so intense that she could still see them when she woke up and opened her eyes. And her body often got confused, such as loosening her muscles or seizing up while she was still awake.

The body was supposed to lock every muscle while asleep so someone didn't act out their dreams, but (Y/n)'s signals and the hormones that controlled sleep didn't work properly. She didn't always lock up when she was asleep. Evan had woken up hundreds of times to (Y/n) lashing her arms out or jolting forward and almost falling out the bed.

"Baby… you gonna wake up for me?"

She had to be having a dream because Dodger was still whining uncertainly and Evan could feel the palpitations she was having.

His eyes widened and he leaned back a little when (Y/n)'s eyes opened but her eyes were immediately focused on something in the far right corner of the room. Evan tried looking over but he couldn't see anything. The room was basked in darkness because he had closed the curtains and the only light was coming from the tv. Shadows were draped around the room like dark hanging cloths.

Evan wanted to try and say something but he didn't get the chance when he realised (Y/n) was starting to shake. Her elbows were pinned into her waist and her lower back had arched up from the bed just a little making her spine curve, but every part of her was shaking.

She wasn't moving.

Evan brushed his thumb across her jaw and kept his fingers pressed into the side of her neck to feel her pulse which was still fluctuating and steadily rising. He could feel her chest rising and falling and shallow, panicked breaths blundered past her lips.

"There's nothing there, sweetheart. It's okay, you're awake now."

A guttural scream gurgled at the back of (Y/n)'s throat in response but she couldn't move her lips to try and speak. She couldn't move anything. Her body had frozen and locked up. And now her eyes were open, she couldn't seem to close them either.

"Shh, shh baby it's alright… it won't last long. You're okay, just look at me baby."

Evan shifted round until his left forearm was pressing down into the bed beside (Y/n)'s shoulder and his right hand started to graze up and down her neck and shoulder. He leaned across her with his chest lightly pressing down onto hers and he pecked her forehead when tears started to fall down her face.

She was having sleep paralysis. It didn't happen too often, Evan couldn't remember the last time she'd locked up like this. But it never lasted longer than a minute or two. Her body was just confused and needed to realise she was awake now so she could start to move again.

Tears continued to burn down (Y/n)'s face and she made another muffled sound when she couldn't even move her eyes to look up at Evan. She was locked on staring at the shadow in the corner of the room that looked mysteriously like the figure she had seen in her dream.

Most of the nightmares she had were of being followed or being trapped somewhere with no escape. Now she was locked in her body that was refusing to cooperate or move to her will.

"It's okay, I'm right here, I've got you."

Evan's voice was comforting and the feeling of his lips against her neck was like sparks igniting under her skin and lighting up throughout her body.

When her eyes finally closed, (Y/n) screwed them shut as tightly as she could, grumbling and gasping through clenched teeth as she continued to writhe and tremble against the mattress and Evan.

She wasn't sure what Evan said next over the blood pounding through her ears, but (Y/n) suddenly felt her right hand twitch against her thigh. It was enough to make her relieved and she tried to move it again. Her hand bashed into her thigh and sent a jolt running down her leg, but it was enough. It was something.

When her other hand started to move, (Y/n) shifted her trembling hands and locked them around Evan's bicep that was curved over her chest. She could still feel herself trembling and the rest of her body felt stiff as if she had been covered in clay that had now dried and locked her in a plaster cast form. Even the tears rolling down her face felt like they were starting to dry out and make her face crack and tense up.

"Alright baby girl, let's sit you up." Evan never liked to move (Y/n) until he knew the paralysis was wearing off, just in case he hurt her or confused her body even more and kept her locked in for longer.

He wrapped his right arm beneath her arched back and curled his hand around her bare hip. Keeping her chest flush against his own as he slowly reeled up and pulled (Y/n) along with him. Lying on her back wasn't going to help, it was only going to persuade her body into going back to sleep which was the last thing she wanted or needed right now.

Evan pulled his knees up and sank back on his heels, letting (Y/n) slump forward into his chest until her face was tucked just beneath his chin. And her trembling arms moved to lock around his torso with her half-curled fists bashing into his back to try and pin herself against him.

"It's okay, I'm still here."

Evan tilted his head down and pressed his lips to the back of (Y/n)'s head, inhaling her scent as he began to rub his hands up and down her back in slow, soothing circles.

"L-locked up," (Y/n)'s lips smothered against Evan's exposed chest and she spoke quietly against his sternum that was pressed beneath her lips. She could feel the heat radiating off of him and how tense he was against her even though his arms were loosening up and felt soft and warm against her sides.

"I know baby, but you're awake now, it's passed." Evan had only experienced sleep paralysis once in his life and he hated every second of it. He hated feeling like he had disconnected from the rest of his body and no matter how hard he tried, nothing would move of his own accord. Evan had never had to think about moving his muscles before, it was automatic until that one paralysed moment.

Turning his head, Evan leaned his cheek against the top of (Y/n)'s head while his left arm curved around her waist and rested over her stomach.

"Maybe I should stay home tonight-"

"No. Y-you go out… no more naps, and I'll be okay." (Y/n) nudged her nose against Evan's chest before she managed to flop her head back so she could look up at him. She wasn't going to let him stay home and miss out on a night with the team. That wouldn't be fair on him when he was looking forward to going out with them tonight.

As long as she didn't have another nap and tried to go to sleep at her usual time tonight, she should be okay. Her sleep attacks didn't usually last long enough for her to have a bout of paralysis like this and she hoped her cataplexy wouldn't play up. But that was something she could deal with on her own if Evan went out.

He deserved a night off with the team and she wasn't going to have him stay home when he didn't have to.

"Are you sure?" He nudged his nose against hers and reached his hand up to cup the side of (Y/n)'s face. His thumb pulled down across her lower lip and swiped across her chin.

"Yes, go have fun." (Y/n) managed to move her hands against his back and she felt the way he hissed against her lips when she dug her nails into the back of his shoulders. His lips moved away from hers and made a trail down her jaw and along the side of her neck until he reached the junction between her neck and shoulder.

"Hm, that's not quite my idea of fun."

[aswallowssong]

Sicktember 2024 #5: “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

The canon-ish companion to the College AU, @starstwinkleplanetsshine and I should pick one AU and stick to it, but like, never, you know? Written in what we're calling 'Til Forever Falls Apart (The Canon AU™) Honorable mention @fragolinaa. She prompted this and Rosie is her baby and I love her dearly

A hand on his back woke him, though he didn’t remember falling asleep. He was in the forge, and a wire was definitely pressing into his cheek as his head laid on his work station. He blinked his eyes open, immediately wincing at the light of the forge itself, and squinted at the person standing next to him.

“Posie?”

Roseline was standing there, concern covering her features. “I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she said, the concern leaking into her words. “Did you mean to fall asleep?”

He sat up slowly, his head pounding in time with his heartbeat. It felt like all of his muscles were screaming at him to lay his head back down, but he didn’t like the way Rosie’s face pulled into worry.

“I don’t think so,” he said, and when he swallowed, it felt like there was shrapnel in his throat. “What time is it?”

“Almost lights out,” Rosie said, brushing his bangs back to press a hand against his forehead. “You look awful, Ev. And you feel like you’re on fire.”

“S’always hot in here,” Evan mumbled, rubbing at his eyes to try to make them stop aching. “An’ we run warm. God of the forge, and everything.”

“This is way more than that,” Rosie said, and the next thing he knew, he was being hauled to his feet. The world swam a bit, and he had to reach out a hand to steady himself on the edge of his desk.

“Woah, Posie, slow down.”

She stilled, eyebrows furrowing at her step-brother of sorts. Their godly parents were married, which had always meant more to Rosie than it had to the rest of her siblings, and his. But, she took it seriously, and so did he.

“Sorry, sorry. I just– you need to go see Cady. You’re definitely sick, you’re all pale and flushed and weak looking.”

“How can I look pale and flushed,” Evan asked quietly, putting his warm face in his freezing hands for a second.

That’s probably not a good sign, he thought.

“I don’t know! Like, pale on your whole face, but your cheeks are flushed. Like when someone has a fever. You know?”

“Not really,” he mumbled. The more he spoke, the more his throat hurt, and it sounded like he’d decided to swallow screws instead of using them for the… something he’d been building. He couldn’t really remember what he’d been in the forge for, anyway. Everything was foggy and disrupted, what with how badly his head was throbbing. And, now that he was thinking about it, he sort of felt like he was made of jello. His muscles were all protesting being upright.

“I’m gonna sit back down,” he said, and Rosie grabbed his arm.

“No way, Ev. You’re going with me to the infirmary. Cady can fix you up and then you can go to bed. Probably in there, she’s going to want to watch you. You know how she worries.”

“Mhm,” Evan said, though he didn’t want to go anywhere. He wanted to stay in the forge, where it was warm. “Are you sure I can’t stay here?”

“Evan Knight, you come with me right now.”

Oop, full name. Better listen.

He knew better than to fight with Rosie when she was set on something, and followed her as she started to pull him out of the forge and into the night air. As soon as they crossed the threshold he shivered, crossing his arms over his chest as he pulled out of Rosie’s grip.

“Gods, it’s cold.”

“It’s not,” Rosie said, worry inching back onto her face. “It’s actually really nice tonight.”

“Can I grab my sweatshirt?”

“No,” she said seriously, grabbing one of his arms, but letting him keep it crossed over his chest. “You don’t need to be any warmer than you already are. You’re going to melt your brain or something, or die from fever poisoning.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” Evan said, frowning as Rosie marched him toward the Big House. “I don’t think fever poisons you.”

“Well what do I look like to you? A healer? An expert on fevers? That’s why we're going to see Cady.”

“Cady can’t fix everything, Posie. Maybe she won’t be able to do anything about it.”

“She absolutely can,” Rosie said with such conviction that Evan’s next comment was stopped in its tracks. 

“Okay, Rosie Posie,” he said softly, trudging along with her even as each step made his muscles scream. “I believe you.”

As it turned out, Cady could do something about it. 

“Did you know you didn’t feel well when you went into the forge?” She asked, a hand against his forehead, and another on the back of his neck. She had her eyes closed as she concentrated on his body systems.

Or, at least that’s what she said she was doing.

He liked the way Cady talked when she was working. It made more sense to him; sharp and clinical, without all the emotions and niceties that made communication… difficult for him at times.

“No,” he said honestly. “But I’ve been really focused on this problem with my helicopter backpack thing, so I’ve sort of had my mind on that.”

She nodded. Cady understood that sometimes when he was focused on a project, his body cues went by the wayside. Maybe he had been feeling sick – he’d never know, and he’d never be able to tell her.

“Sounds about right,” she said, pulling her hands away and settling them on her hips. “That’s a pretty nasty cold. I can do some things right now, but sleep is really what’s going to help. In the morning when Will gets in, he’ll be able to deal with the rest of it. But, I can ease some stuff. Take the fever down. Help you sleep and stay asleep. Okay?”

He nodded, hoping that the sleep part would come sooner rather than later. The longer he was awake, the more miserable he felt.

Rosie was sitting next to him, worry literally radiating off of her, and Evan tried to give her a small smile.

“See, Posie? Sleep.”

“And other stuff!” she said, exasperated. “She literally said other stuff too. She’s gonna fix it. I told you, Cady can fix anything.”

Cady’s cheeks darkened, and she pulled at the navy scrub pants she wore during her shifts. “Gosh, Ros, you’ve got way too much faith in me.”

“No! You don’t have enough faith in yourself.” Rosie turned on Evan, pointing a finger at him. “And you don’t have enough faith in your friends. We love you. Let us love you and take care of you. I’m your big sister, damn it, and I’m going to act like it!”

Evan stared at her for a moment, the passion and fire in her eyes making him forget how awful he felt, until he had to turn away to stifle a bone-rattling cough into his elbow.

A hand was on his back in a second, rubbing gentle circles until the coughing fit passed, and when he looked up and shivered, Rosie was there, giving him a concerned and pitying expression. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, barely audible, and she shook her head.

“No, don’t apologize. Just let us take care of you instead of bruising it off as not a big deal. Sometimes things are a big deal, and that’s fine.” She nodded at him. “You’re allowed to be a big deal.”

They’d told him that before. That he was allowed to take up space and ask for help, and that he needed to take better care of himself, but he usually fell back into the old habits he’d gotten used to as a young kid. Fend for yourself, don’t take up space, and stay out of the way. 

But, it didn’t seem like Cady or Rosie minded that he was sick, or that he was going to take up their time, so maybe he could let himself have some attention. Just this once.

“Okay,” he said quietly, shifting so he could lay his head on Rosie’s shoulder. 

She stiffened for a moment, maybe surprised that he was actually listening for once, and then relaxed, pulling him close to her side. 

“Cady’s gonna do some stuff, and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

He nodded, closing his eyes against the harsh fluorescent of the infirmary, and snuggling a little closer to her side.

“Uh huh. Thanks, sis.”

He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, pulling an arm around his shoulder. “Course, Ev. Just get some rest.”

[highfiveheroes]

PROMPT LIST based on songs from my "on repeat" playlist on spotify

there are several lyrics that have been bumping around in my brain so y'all get them now. enjoy

(could be plot inspos or could be dialogue prompts, some work one way better than the other)

break season // mira housey > "i once called you forever, but forever called my bluff" > "i know you're looking for the answer i don't have" > "i'm sorry that putting me first meant putting you last"

not like i'm in love with you // lauren weintraub > "you're my ride or die, so i'm not jealous right?" > "it's not like i'm losing my head thinking about you in my bed" > "it's not like everybody knows but you" > "shit"

only us // dear evan hansen > "i don't need you to fix what i'd rather forget" > "try to quiet the noises in your yead, we can't compete with all that" > "what if it's you and me and that's all that we need it to be?"

stand tall // julie and the phantoms > "cause everything is rushing in fast, keep going on, never look back" > "right now, i'm loving every minute" > "light a fire in my eyes, i'm going out of my mind" > "whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing imma stand tall"

loser, baby // annapantsu & chloe breez > "you've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked, let me just say you're correct" > "you're a fucked up little whiny bitch" > "letting walls down, it can sometimes set you straight" > "i sold my soul to a psychopathic freak || and you think that makes you unique? get outta here"

love me not // emei > "you know that i'm in it, but did you hit your limit?" > "yesterday was flawless, but now i feel like garbage" > "but i'm falling in love, do you wanna break up?" > "i've been hit by this guy called stupid cupid"

i'm trying (not friends) // maisie peters > "saw you, it was awkward" > "it didn't work like i thought it would" > "i swore that i'd swallow my pride and you swore you would do better this time" > "i might be bitter and twisted and broken and petty and lying, but at least i'm trying" > "so many blank slates i could build a whole fucking house" > "i resent you just a little if i'm honest" > "you're awful and i miss you and i killed you in my dream last night" > "it's a low when even in my dreams you still don't want me there" > "god, you haven't changed at all"

pretty girls // reneé rapp > "tell me if you were gonna, that i would be the one you tried" > "you think i'd be flattered, it's pathetic cause you're right" > "i can predict this shit line by line" > "you'll be his in the morning anyway"

it could've been you // hannah grae > "the color of your shirt made me wanna cry" > "have fun wasting your time" > "it's not love, it's just the comfort of its name" > "the color of my walls made me wanna die" > "you're not the one and it's not something i can change" > "i'd probably hate you" > "at least i'm not 40 and screwing the pool boy" > "if you weren't a liar and i'd have been kinder it could've been you"

nights like these // pigeon pit > "i want to die with all my scars" > "if they don't like the way we are then fuck them" > "fuck, i'm sorry you feel all alone" > "i place my head between my knees and think 'do you ever have nights like these?'"

i may do another round of this later cause i still have more songs LOL