#it made him all the more aware of just how out-of-sync he and jacob were though since evan was clueless about raising a daughter

[carewyncromwell]

“Hey, Dad, look at me: Think back, and talk to me -- Did I grow up according to plan?”

~“Perfect (cover)” by At Sunset

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animation made with EZGif // my other accompaniment while drawing this

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Um... “happy” Father’s Day, everybody? 😅 Here’s some Jacob Cromwell content to mark the occasion -- specifically Jacob content that also features his estranged father, Evan Bach!

Those of you who are familiar with Jacob and Carewyn’s backstory are probably already aware that Evan was a pretty poor father. He tried continuously to shape Jacob in his image and only vindicated the opinions of others labeling him as a “delinquent”; he actively plugged out of his daughter Carewyn’s life from an emotional perspective, leaving her to be raised solely by her mother and brother; and worst of all, he abandoned his wife Lane and their children after the arrival of Jacob’s Hogwarts letter, unable to accept that his wife had lied to him about her and their children’s magic for so long and not wanting any part of the Wizarding World he’d have to join to be part of their lives. But at the same time, I never saw Evan as an inherently bad person, so I wanted to explore the generational trauma that both Evan and Jacob suffered through, and how it ultimately shaped them as people.

Evan Bach was the only son of Josef Bach, the son of a German immigrant raised largely by his uncle Jakob after the death of his father in the first World War. Josef learned from an early age how to lie to stay out of trouble with both his uncle and the authorities, and coupled with his chronic alcoholism, this led to him getting involved with a lot of petty crime. Josef’s childhood sweetheart Margie thought that having a family might help coax Josef to stay at home with her more, rather than spend his nights at speakeasies and pool halls, and at first, it seemed to work -- Josef wanted to put on a good face for his wife and newborn son, so he tried to hide his more illicit behaviors from them. Then Britain entered World War II, and Margie was forced to take one-year-old Evan out of Westminster and into the countryside to safety, leaving her husband behind. Soon Josef fell head-over-heels into organized crime, which actually flourished during the Second World War in Britain with most legal authorities having to focus on the war effort, and he soon became very rich working as an “enforcer” for a prominent London gang who participated in dozens of protection rackets. All the while, Josef wrote letters to his wife and son claiming he’d used that Ivy League education he’d convinced Margie he’d gotten somehow to land a job for the British government, and that with the profits he was making as part of the war effort, he’d bought them a huge house on an acre of land that they’d be able to enjoy together once the War was over. For Evan, who had next to no memories of his father aside from what his mother told him, he clung to these written lies enthusiastically, endlessly proud of the man he thought his father was and looking forward to the day that he and his mother would finally get to return home and meet him.

Sadly, while in the country, Margie became very sick and died in the winter of 1943, just before the end of the War. Following his wife’s death, Josef became all the more devoted to his gang life, and soon extortion, arson, and murder became everyday occurrences. Even so, on those few occasions when Josef would speak to his young son Evan on the phone, he’d lie about the weird noises and explosions the boy would hear in the background, saying that he’d be there to pick the boy up when he returned to Westminster and he’d take them home to their beautiful (and completely fictional) house outside the city. When the War was over, though, Evan did not find his father waiting for him at the train station, but instead his great-uncle Jakob -- for Josef, it turned out, had been lying to a lot more people than just his wife and son: he’d also lied to his bosses that he had no wife and children. And in order to keep up that charade, he couldn’t have Evan live with him -- so Josef asked "Uncle Jakob” to pick Evan up and take him in instead. The revelation of Josef’s lies and subsequent abandonment shattered Evan in a way he had trouble articulating to anyone, though he tried to once, when confiding in his future wife, Lane --

“I know what you mean. About your father, I mean. ...My father...wasn’t like yours, really. He was a crook, a liar...a petty criminal, in every way. ...But I know what it’s like, seeing the love other people seem to have for their kids and just wondering, ‘...Why? Why didn’t I have that, why couldn’t I have that? Why does my father have to put himself, and his wants, and his vices, first, instead of his family? Why isn’t he like those parents who, when faced with a tough choice, always choose their kid? ...Why didn’t he choose me...?’”

Not long after, Josef’s lies and crimes finally caught up with him, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment for all of the violent crimes he’d gotten wrapped up in. And so Evan was raised by his great-uncle, who desperately tried to take advantage of his “second chance,” raising the orphaned son of the boy the old man had raised as a son himself, and teach Evan to live an upstanding, honest life. Evan was so haunted by the corruption of his father through his addiction to alcohol, his proclivity toward violence, and his pathological lying that he was determined to be a man who would provide for his family the right way -- one who would be a proper role model for them, who would model the correct way to behave and instruct them about how to do the same. A man who wouldn’t let his son throw his whole life and potential away the way his father did.

Unfortunately Evan’s rosy view of fatherhood was complicated when his son -- named “Jacob” for the man who had largely raised him and had passed away five years previously -- ended up being both a wizard and a completely different person than Evan himself was. For as conventional and people-pleasing as Evan was, Jacob was opinionated and eccentric. For as rule-abiding and respectful of authority as Evan was, Jacob was rebellious and irreverent. For as uptight and conservative as Evan was, Jacob was wild and sometimes even violent, when provoked. Add to this Jacob’s distinct disinterest in any of the classic “father-son” activities Evan had envisioned them doing like fishing, playing catch, and going to sports games, as well as the boy’s frequent “misbehavior” (in truth outbursts of underage magic) that would get him into trouble at school, and Evan honestly didn’t know what to do to alter his son’s course. And because of his departure, Evan never saw just how hard his son worked to get top grades at Hogwarts, only to have his life upended by Lane’s father Charles and his criminal organization R and get locked in a magical portrait for seven years. Evan also never saw Jacob pull off the best, “underdog”-style comeback imaginable and graduate the school he’d been expelled from with honors so as to become a world-renown freelance cursebreaker and magical researcher. Nor did Evan ever see just how loyal, heroic, brilliant and loving of a man Jacob ended up becoming, even without his father there to mold him into what he thought he should be.

But perhaps, in a sad way, that’s the way things had to be. Evan had no desire to be part of the Wizarding World, the place where Jacob felt more complete and “himself” than anywhere else. He had no desire to lie to the people around him or to live a life outside of the straight and narrow path that had helped him move past his father’s tarnished legacy. He’d wanted to give his wife and children what he hadn’t had -- a stable, peaceful, middle-class life in Westminster, where they could just live normal, modest lives and grow into normal, upstanding people with normal, respectable careers. He’d failed in that...and ultimately, Lane -- the woman he loved, who chose him over her abusive family, who he cherished so much for having chosen him, over any other man in the world -- had chosen their son over him. Just as Jacob chose Lane over him...just like how their daughter would’ve chosen Jacob and Lane over him, if she’d had the choice. It’s not like Evan could’ve molded her any better than Jacob, even if he’d tried -- Lane said she was just as “normal” as she and Jacob were. And if Evan had stayed, it no doubt would’ve been out of duress, rather than out of sincere loyalty -- for how could he not resent a woman who he bared his heart and soul to and worked day and night to provide for, only to find out she had lied to him from the very beginning? Would he then only be a pocketbook for his family -- someone to write the bills every month, rather than someone to lead, protect, and guide them in being upstanding members of society? Someone for them to respect, love, and be devoted to, the way upstanding families were supposed to? Was he just meant to accept this life he’d never chosen for himself -- a life where he had to bow to the whims of the rest of his family, just because they had these bizarre, mysterious powers he didn’t have anyway to curb or restrain?

So perhaps Evan leaving ended up being the best outcome for all parties, however cowardly and cruel it was. If nothing else, the Obliviators assigned to keep tabs on Evan after his departure never found any evidence that he tried to expose Lane’s magic or the Wizarding World to any of his friends, associates, or remaining family, or even to the Muggle authorities. He never even made up any stories explaining away his departure to cast Lane in a bad light or absolve himself of blame -- not of her having an affair, nor of her being involved in any criminal activity, impropriety, or abuse. On the contrary, Evan always shut down any accusations of that nature, whenever anyone would suggest them.

“Lane lied to me,” was all he’d ever say. “That’s all it was, and that’s the last I’ll say about it.”

It seemed that, no matter how much Lane’s betrayal had hurt him and how much he resented how their children had chosen to follow her down a path far removed from the upstanding society he’d so wanted them to contribute to, as he did, Evan was an honorable enough man that he refused to tarnish his ex-wife’s name with lies and false accusations. For however poor of a father he was to Jacob, and however justified Jacob might be to hate the man, that honor at least can be respected.

[destinyc1020]

I said she was definitely super friends with Timmy in 2021, I'm not discrediting their friendship from that era, I'm very aware they were talking regularly because she sent him clips from m&m before it was released. I was saying that something shifted between that era (up to 2023 if you want for Darnell birthday) and february 2024. I'm not discrediting what she said in the past (by the way her :and Tom too: always say they become so close so friendly with all their cast mates and are then never seen together outside of filming. It's in part marketing), I'm trying to match her words then and her attitude now and see it it matches, and to me it doesn't

Also I don't think it's about shipping either because there are definitely locals shipping her with Josh and especially Mike (I've seen tiktok and reels with comments with thousands of like saying it), but she doesn't care (and as she should we don't care about the stupid comments). I was saying the vibes between the Challengers trio and Challengers and the rest of the cast was clearly on differn level. Even Timmy own stans were saying it and were wondering what happened between part one and part two.

I was saying that something shifted between that era (up to 2023 if you want for Darnell birthday) and february 2024. I'm not discrediting what she said in the past

"Something shifted"? And you're basing that on WHAT exactly? 🤔

Because you don't see half of what goes on in these people's lives. You also don't see what they text or write to each other.

But let's go with your logic that "something shifted"....

Well, I know a lot has changed from 2021 to 2024.

For one, Timothée is no longer SINGLE. He's been in a relationship with Kylie for over a year. Idk about others, but I'm definitely a little more cautious about how I come across with my male friends when they're single vs. when they're in a relationship with somebody else.... especially if we're CLOSE. It's not because there's anything romantic going on, and it's not because I even ever had any feelings for them whatsoever. It's more so as a show of RESPECT for the dude and his now gf. It's especially important (imo) when I've known the guy friend longer than he and his gf have known each other. It's a respect thing.

Also, maybe Z HERSELF is an engaged woman by now? Did anyone stop and think about that? 🤔

Keep mind also that when she and Timmy were shopping for his apartment, she was dating JE (a rebound fling) at the time. 😏 Z is now back with TOM, the love of her life imo, and so she might also be more sensitive and cautious to certain things herself because she knows that people heavily ship her with Timmy.

(by the way her :and Tom too: always say they become so close so friendly with all their cast mates and are then never seen together outside of filming. It's in part marketing), I'm trying to match her words then and her attitude now and see it it matches, and to me it doesn't

Well, sometimes it's just marketing "talk", but other times, Tom and Z really might be serious about being close to their costars while filming, but then, after filming ends, people go their separate ways, you get busy, you move on, you just have a lot going on in life, that it sometimes gets hard to always hang out and whatnot. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Actors usually lead VERY busy lives. A lot of times, they're on filming sets, or traveling for promotion, or working/prepping for a new role, etc. I'm sure it's hard for some to even sync up their calendars. Look, if it's hard for me to sync up and hang with friends of mine who live in the same city, I can only imagine how it is for actors lol 😆

So that's why, if I ever see or hear of actors hanging out together, or taking the time out to be with a specific person, it's usually because they are really close since they have MADE that time. But other times, people just can't meet up, but it doesn't mean they're not still friends.

I'm sure Tom still talks to Jacob Batalon every now and then, even though they don't hang out as often as they used to. Does it mean they hate each other though? I doubt it.

Also I don't think it's about shipping either because there are definitely locals shipping her with Josh and especially Mike (I've seen tiktok and reels with comments with thousands of like saying it), but she doesn't care (and as she should we don't care about the stupid comments).

I know you're not out here trying to compare the measly shipping of her and her Challengers co-stars, to the level of shipping that was done btwn her and Timothée Chalamet. 😒

Girl please lol 😆

Fans were shipping her and Timothée BEFORE the First Dune movie press tour! Before they even got to Italy! I know, because I was THERE. It all started when Timmy wrote that birthday tribute to her on IG. 👀 Actually, I take that back. Some fans were excited to see Timdaya content when he and Z were spotted in that Bed, Bath & Beyond Store in NYC. That was waay back in Feb of 2020 girl. 😏

There are even account names dedicated to Timdaya shipping. 🙄 There were tons of pics, gifs, and items dedicated to them on the first press tour.

Timdaya Fans were looking for more Timdaya "content" during the second Dune Part 2 press tour, and were even cropping Austin and Florence out of group photos cuz they were MAD that they were on the press tour and taking time "away" from Timmy and Zendaya content! 🙄

Chiiiiilllle don't even get me started lol! 😅 There is NO WAY you can compare Z being "shipped" with Mike and Josh (who don't even have HALF the size fandom that Timothée does), to Z being shipped with Hollywood's "Golden Boy", Timothée Chalamet. 😏

I was saying the vibes between the Challengers trio and Challengers and the rest of the cast was clearly on differn level. Even Timmy own stans were saying it and were wondering what happened between part one and part two.

And like I said, different movies, different vibes, and Z had a different role as well. She was more so the leader and trying to make Josh and Mike comfortable on the Challengers press tour since they're not used to that level of promotion.

Not to mention, she was not having to divide time btwn such a large cast.

Actors are different depending on the nature and vibe of the film they are promoting. Tom promoting TCR is not going to be the same Tom promoting Spiderman. The films have two totally different vibes. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are any LESS close to their costars though.

Austin and Callum for example had a more subdued press tour together for MOTA promotion. Their series was about WW2. Yet, when Austin was with Jodie promoting The Bikeriders, they were silly, goofy, and cutting up! Lol 😂

Austin and Callum, though, are actually really GOOD friends and have even hung out several times outside of work. Just because their press tour was a bit more "serious" (due to the nature of their series) doesn't mean that they are any LESS friends.

I showed you plenty of instances where Z was being fun, and acting JUST FINE around Timmy during the Dune 2 press tour. To me, she was acting normal. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Idk why you don't want to believe that?

Part 2 was way more serious than Part 1 if you ask me. So, the vibe on this press tour was probably a lot different anyway just because part 1 and part 2 are two totally different films, with 2 totally different vibes and messages. Jmho

Also, keep in mind that we don't know what these actors are doing bts when they step away from these interviews. You keep basing all of your opinions on what you can actually SEE, and all I'm saying is, there are things you CAN'T see as well! So don't be so quick to judge smthg based only on what you think you see.

I wouldn't have even known that Timmy sent Darnell some Christian music if he hadn't mentioned it during the press tour rofl 🤣

Obviously, Timmy is close with Z and Darnell. Idk why that's so hard to grasp. Timmy is ALSO in a serious relationship right now though, so the dynamics of "friendship" might have changed due to that, or just due to him being more busy and now needing to divide his time btwn work and his significant other now.

But I'm not going to assume that Z and Timmy have had some sort of falling out or beef simply due to things on a press tour, or a Beyoncé concert (which, BTW all celebrities were in a VIP room together BEFORE they all walked out).

We only see 2% of these people's lives y'all. I think we need to keep that in mind.

[alexchatgptstories]

Write a story with All Time Low songs about a high functioning autistic kid who didn't have much social awarness in high school(class of 2012). But years after(2023) high school realized he would fit in better if he went to Blake High School than where he went. Which was Quince Orchard High School.

Jacob sat on the worn-out couch in his small apartment, the low hum of the city outside just barely audible. His laptop was open, code scrolling across the screen, but his mind wasn’t really on the work. Instead, it drifted back to high school—the days he spent at Quince Orchard High School. The place had always felt like a maze he couldn’t navigate, with social rules that he never understood.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure of what to do next. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, he clicked the play button on his music player. The opening chords of All Time Low’s “Weightless” blared through his headphones, the fast, punchy beat echoing in his ears. For a moment, Jacob let the music take him back.

“I’m weightless, but I can’t breathe / I’m weightless, but I can’t leave / It’s a little hard to tell just what’s right and wrong.”

The song was a perfect encapsulation of his high school years. Everything felt heavy, suffocating, and yet, there was a constant desire to break free. Jacob had never fit in at Quince Orchard. It wasn’t that he didn’t try; he just didn’t understand the unspoken rules. The groups formed without any effort, the athletes, the popular kids, the drama geeks—all of them spoke in a language he couldn’t quite decode.

Back then, Jacob was a quiet kid. He’d wear his band T-shirts and keep to himself, mostly lost in his own world. He didn’t quite get why people made small talk or why everyone seemed to care so much about fitting in. It was like a constant pressure to be someone he wasn’t. He would sit in the cafeteria with his headphones on, listening to All Time Low’s “Lost in Stereo,” blocking out the noise of high school life. It was easier that way.

“I’m lost in stereo, can you hear me now? / I’m lost in stereo, can you hear me now?”

The lyrics felt like they were written for him. He was lost in the crowd, in a world of noise he couldn’t quite connect with. The music was his refuge, the only place where he could truly feel like he belonged. He had his small group of friends, sure, but the bigger social scene? It felt like a constant game of trying to figure out what everyone wanted from him, without ever knowing what he needed.

Jacob remembered the stares and the whispers. People didn’t always say things out loud, but he could feel it—the way they looked at him like he was somehow different. He didn’t understand why high school had to be a popularity contest, why people were judged based on who they knew, what they wore, and how they acted. He wasn’t one of the “cool” kids, but he didn’t want to be. He just wanted to be left alone, or at least understood.

As the years passed, Jacob left high school behind and entered the real world. He went to college, and for the first time, he realized he wasn’t the only one who had struggled with the rules of high school. He learned more about himself—about his autism—and how it had affected his ability to navigate social situations. He was high-functioning, sure, but there were still moments when he felt completely out of sync with the world around him.

And that’s when it hit him. The realization came slowly, but it was there: he would have fit in better at Blake High School.

He thought about the kids at Blake—the ones who wore band shirts, who went to punk shows, who didn’t care about fitting into some pre-made mold. They were the misfits, the rebels, the ones who made their own rules. Looking back, Jacob realized that if he’d gone to Blake, he wouldn’t have felt so out of place. Blake was the kind of school where people like him could thrive, not just survive.

Jacob’s thoughts were interrupted as All Time Low’s “Poppin’ Champagne” came through his speakers. The upbeat melody was a sharp contrast to the heavy thoughts swirling in his mind, but it felt right. He let himself get lost in the music, the fast-paced rhythm a reflection of how he felt now. He was past the high school days, past the confusion. Things were different now.

“Poppin’ champagne, we’re gonna celebrate / Let’s raise a glass to all the things we never thought we’d say.”

He couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t just the music—it was the realization that, while high school hadn’t been kind to him, it didn’t define him. He had learned so much about himself since then. He wasn’t that confused kid who didn’t know how to fit in. He was someone who had found his voice, found his place. And he had done it without the need for validation from anyone else.

He thought about how different things could have been if he’d gone to Blake. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt like such an outsider. Maybe the kids there would have understood his quiet nature, his need for routine, and his love for punk and emo music. Maybe they would have seen him for who he really was, not as a puzzle they couldn’t solve.

“I feel like I’m waiting / I’m waiting for a sign / I’m waiting for the world to show me the way.” (from All Time Low’s “Stay”)

That was it. He had been waiting, waiting for something to change, waiting for the right moment to find his place. And while high school was never the time for that, it didn’t mean he couldn’t find it now. The past was behind him, and there was no use in wishing things had been different.

He had grown. He had learned. And while he couldn’t change where he went to high school, he could look back with the knowledge that he had found a community for himself, even if it wasn’t at Quince Orchard. It was the music that had helped him through, the anthems of All Time Low and the punk rock bands he’d loved for years. They were more than just songs—they were his escape, his therapy, his way of finding himself.

As the night wore on, Jacob sat back in his chair, listening to All Time Low’s “The Reckless and the Brave.” The song was full of defiance, full of the kind of energy he had wanted to tap into back then, the energy that he had finally embraced in the present.

“We are the reckless, we are the wild youth / Chasing the night, chasing the moon.”

He smiled softly, the music filling the space around him. It didn’t matter where he had been—it only mattered where he was now. And now, Jacob was free to be exactly who he had always been, without apologies.

[allywritesforfun]

{Confessions} Karl Jacobs x Reader

summary: your favorite director came out with a new movie so Karl invites you over to watch it with him

pronouns: not mentioned

word count: 1910

masterlist

You and Karl have been pretty good friends ever since you moved into the neighborhood. He was one of the first people to welcome you in. You moved from your hometown to find more excitement in your life, and boy did Karl give you the excitement you always wished for.

At first, it was simple gestures of friendship. You baked cookies one day for yourself and had some left over that you packaged up and gave to Karl. You even took the risk of adding your phone number to the basket. To your surprise, he actually called that night to thank you.

Those calls became weekly, to daily, to no calls at all. Instead, you simply went over to his house. You two did easy little things, your favorite was making “neighbor bracelets” which Karl renamed as best friend bracelets. Both of you still wore yours today.

You’ve built a very good relationship with Karl, you both trusted each other with your lives. Both of you had the other's spare key just in case. The neighborhood wasn't sketchy, but life is life and the two of you were prepared to drop everything to help each other out.

Tonight was a special night. You and Karl were super excited about a new movie coming out of Netflix. Karl knew how much you loved the director, so he invited you over. You were ecstatic.

You offered to bring pizza since Karl provided the drinks. After you picked up the pizza, you headed straight to his house. You parked behind his car and welcomed yourself in, you two basically lived together at this point.

“Karl!” You called, “I have the pizza! Where we watching this?”

You heard a voice from downstairs, “I set up the basement to look like a screening room!”

You chuckled to yourself, that was such a Karl thing to do. Karl always went all out on everything he did. That was one thing you admire about him: he always lived his life to the fullest.

You stopped at the kitchen first to drop off your keys and your shoes and picked up some extra napkins, you weren’t the neatest eater.

You made your way carefully down the stairs, step by step. You had a history of being a bit clumsy and may or may not have dropped pasta down the stairs before.

You turned the corner to the right and stopped immediately. The room was beautiful, with an even more beautiful sight in the middle.

Karl really did surprise you this time. When he said he made it look like a ‘screening room’ you thought maybe some aisle lights and very original signs, but no.

The room was completely transformed. Everywhere you looked, you found something new. The first thing you noticed was the amazing set up around the couch. Karl moved the couch to the middle of the room in front of the projector. Above the couch draped satin sheets that made the set up look like it was from a fairy tale. At first you didn't notice the fairy lights spread out on top of the sheet, but it made the perfect touch. Next was a line of squishmallows leading up to the couch. You even laughed at the little outfits Karl put on them to make them look like workers. You followed where the little workers directed, which lead you straight to Karl.

“Surprise!” He jumped, arms wide open.

You set the pizza down on the coffee table in front of the couch. You took another look around and noticed the abundance of blankets that Karl had laid over to the couch to look really cute and really comfortable.

“Karl,” You covered your mouth in awe, “It's just a movie, you didn't need to do all of this!”

He grabbed your sweatshirt and pulled in for a hug, “But I wanted to! You were so excited for this movie and if it ends up being trash then I wanted to make sure there was at least something good about it!”

You put your arms over Karl’s shoulders and leaned into the hug. You always felt safe in his hugs. His hugs were unmatched. They always drained all of the negative energy out and replaced them with safe and secure vibes.

Karl waddled you two over to the couch and he gently set you down. He stayed up and grabbed the remote while you got the pizza ready.

“This was so sweet of you to do,” You told him. “Thank you very much. I think this might be one of my favorite nights with you.”

“That’s good to know, I’ll make sure I do this more often,” Karl laughed, causing you to blush.

You enjoyed every day with Karl and treasured your friendship to the point when you weren't aware of your own feelings for him. You wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with him, but you wouldn't let yourself think in a romantic way. You feared losing due to unlevel feelings. Karl knew so many people around, so why would he pick the new person in town?

You buried your feelings so far down that you blamed your blushing on going down the stairs and getting overheated from it… because that makes total sense. Karl sat down next to you, about a forearm's length away.

“What type of pizza did you get?” Karl asked.

“I wasn't too sure on what I wanted myself, so I got half pepperoni and half sausage,” You answered.

“Oh good! I was feeling both today too, in sync aren't we?” Karl questioned.

You shook your head, “No, you’re obviously way ahead of me!” You made gestures around the room, “I would've never thought of something this beautiful!”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Karl said under his breath.

You heard it loud and clear. Karl gave you these compliments every once and while. But again, you pushed it off to the side and rationalized it by saying that he says it to everyone. You weren’t special or some sort of exception. What you didn't know was that you were the only one that Karl called beautiful. All of his other friends he called ‘pretty’, beautiful was just for you.

Karl started the movie and the opening seemed off. This wasn't the typical comedy that the director normally did, this was a horror movie. You shifted around in your seat.

“Are you alright?” Karl asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, I just assumed it would be a comedy.” It's not that you hated horror, you in fact enjoyed the storyline of most of them over any other category. It was the jump scares and suspense that you hated.

“Did you not watch the trailer? It was pretty obvious by the dark mysterious basement that it was a horror thriller.”

“No I didn't,” You admitted. “It's alright though. I'm sure the director made it one of the better movies.” “Oh my gosh,” Karl turned and made eye contact with you, “You’re scared aren't you?”

You almost forgot to reply by the eye contact. Karl had the best eyes that you’ve seen. They were so vibrant and you always got lost in them, no matter how hard you tried not to, “Pffft. Me? Scared? Nope, never. It's just a fictional movie that happens to have events that could very well happen tonight or at any point in someone’s life.”

“What the honk?” Karl asked. “You are scared! I can already see it in your eyes and movement that you're scared. Here,” He offered his hand, “Take my hand and you can squeeze it when you get scared.”

You gladly took his hand and refocused your attention back on the movie. It was off to an alright start. You could already tell who was going to die and what character would be your favorite. You didn't jump until a door loudly shut in the movie. You slightly yelped and squeezed Karl’s hand.

He laughed and squeezed back, “That made you scared? You’re in for a long movie.”

You shook your head, “It was a loud noise! How did you not jump?”

“I wasn't really paying attention I guess,” Karl admitted. “Your hand is just so soft and I was trying to think about what lotion you use.”

“Oh, I think I put some Bath and Body Works on them before I left. I took a shower and they got pretty dried out.” You were obviously very unaware of Karl trying to flirt with you. This became a regular thing. It was surprising how much Karl was into you. You accidentally rejected him almost every day, yet he never let up.

The movie progressed and got scarier with every scene. The plot really developed and you loved it. You were so caught up in the movie that you didn't even realize that you were laying down in Karl’s arms.

“Are you okay with this?” Karl whispered into your ear.

You didn't realize that he had his hand on your waist, resting on some exposed skin, you nodded back at him, “Yeah, of course.”

You saw Karl’s cheek turn to a dark red hue despite the darkness of the room. You smiled to yourself and leaned more into him, with the excuse, of course, that you thought there was going to be a jump scare.

Karl’s free hand danced his way around to meet yours, which he nonchalantly took. It was a perfect moment for the two of you, even though neither of you knew about your feelings for each other. This was your first time cuddling with him. You absolutely loved it. You loved the fact that you didn't even have to ask, it kinda just naturally happened.

The movie ended and you two stayed in the same position for a while. You talked about the movie which eventually led to telling stories. You let Karl do most of the talking, you enjoyed watching his eyes light up when he told you about his childhood. The only time Karl’s hand left yours was to either fix his hair, or give you head pats.

Both of you ran out of things to say and laid there in comfortable silence. Karl moved his hand up and rubbed your arm for a while, which made you pretty sleepy. You yawned and snuggled into Karl more than you already were.

You felt him lean down and kiss the top of your head, “Y-You know I really like you right?” He asked.

You nodded, “Yeah I would hope so, I’m here like almost every day.”

“No, I mean like- god this sounds childish but I like you, like you,” He confessed. “Like I invite you over all the time and want to hang out as much as I can because you bring me so much happiness and joy. Like, I’m falling really hard for you and I don't think that you picked up on it.”

You sat up in his arms and stared at him, “You’re joking right? Because you’re the only person that I’ve wanted to be with since I moved, but I didn’t think that I had a chance because you’re so sweet and kind, and you know all of these people so I just kind of ignored my feelings because I didn't want to lose what we already have.”

Karl cupped your cheek with his hand, “y/n, you’re the only one that's had a chance.”

[poems-for-oldest-daughters]

Imprinting Pt. 1

I have no idea what to title this but my prompt for this fic is Jacob and Leah ending up together because wtf resume’s a baby???? Prompt is courtesy of @loveless-and-nameless. I hope you like it! I’m going to make a second part.

Summary: This is set after Breaking Dawn p.2 where Jacob lets Leah stay in his pack so she doesn’t have to go to Sam. In this, Leah and Jacob are only two or three years apart in age and they both imprint on each other in this. (That’s my personal touch.)

Characters: Jacob x Leah, and some waitresses 

Warnings: I think there’s one swear word, it’s fluffy and sweet

All mistakes are mine, no one proofread except me many times.

Word count: 3,069

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Likewise, if you have any requests please send them in an ask. I might reject but ask anyway!

       After my dad died it’s no secret that I phased along with my little brother Seth. The pack was not welcoming about it, to say the least, but I didn’t really care. It was bad enough my dad had just died and I was the only girl in the history of EVER to phase, but to make matters worse, I was stuck under the rule of my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart after imprinting on my cousin. I was still bitter, to say the least, so if I had to suffer so did they.

       Jacob made his best effort to be a bit kinder to me than the rest of the pack, especially after he lost Bella to that dirty bloodsucker. He and I disappeared after making sure that they all survived the attack of the goth government. He told me he was going to the mountains of Alaska and I had planned on running as far East as I possibly could. We were definitely more than 300 miles apart but we could still hear each other clear as day when we were phased. As far as I could tell, he never phased back to his human form. Once I made it as far as Wisconsin I tried to stay human as much as possible so he and I could both be alone like the other didn’t exist. It was a very intimate thing to be tied to someone like that, even with all the miles between us physically and mentally. After being able to hear his thoughts all day every day for as long as it took me to get to Wisconsin I sort of started to miss the company when I was human, but I didn’t want to make him regret letting me stay under him instead of Sam so I didn’t out myself. I wandered around cities in Wisconsin looking for purpose, only phasing during the night so I could sleep in the woods somewhere. I’d make sure to only phase when I could barely keep my eyes open anymore and I’d always greet him to let him know I was there. Then, I’d fall fast asleep and phase back the moment I woke up. 

       I’d never tried this hard to be careful about what I thought when I was phased because I always felt like if I had to suffer in my own mind they did too, but it wasn’t just me. They thought horrible things about me from the moment I joined the pack. Sam was always tougher with me than any of the guys. Even Seth, who was smaller, younger, and weaker than all of us got treated better than I did. I didn’t want to just be the second choice anymore, mocked by the people who were supposed to be there for me. I didn’t want to be spoiled leftovers anymore. Jake would sometimes stick up for me and try to get closer to me, but I was closed off to all relationships with people after my father died. Being out here in the middle of nowhere might be making me soft or maybe I’m just realizing I don’t actually want to be alone. Without the voices of the rest of the pack in my head constantly and the faces of the people, my own people, who betrayed me I found peace. I found myself wanting to be closer to Jacob. It was a foreign feeling to me, I hadn’t experienced any need to be in anyone’s company for months. It didn’t matter either, Jacob was on a search for his gravity and I wouldn’t be a leech in his life because he was doing me a solid by just letting me leave Sam’s pack. I wouldn’t mess this one up, not this time.

       One night I slumped against a tree deep in the woods and phased, about to voice my greeting to Jake to let him know I was there but I stopped to listen because he spoke first.

“Leah, I was worried about you. You didn’t phase last night,” he growled.

“Oh, yeah um sorry Jake, I was doing other things. I found a bed to sleep in last night.” 

“With who?”

“Just some rando I met in the park, we hit it off and I figured I’d give you a break.”

I grimaced to myself, I’d forgotten last night happened. I thought it was just a bad dream.

“Oh… well, it takes like two seconds to phase and tell me, don’t let it happen again,” he snapped.

      I let out a small whine, but he didn’t say anything after that. I fell right to sleep. That next morning I woke up with the strange feeling I was being watched. There was no way there were people this far out in the forest. My ears perked up to listen intently.

“Leah?” Jake’s low voice rumbled in my head.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“How would he even know if I wasn’t okay?” I wondered to myself, forgetting he could hear me.

“I just got a bad feeling out of nowhere late last night. I started running to Wisconsin to keep myself awake in case you woke up and were in trouble, plus I’d already be at least halfway there if it happened. Where are you? This forest is huge.”

“You’re here?” I growled. I didn’t expect him to be here.

“Well, yeah, I wasn’t gonna run all that way just to turn around after I knew you were okay,” he chuckled.

I heard a twig crack behind me and I leaped up with a yelp, tucking my tail and preparing to charge whatever it was.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” he chortled at my surprised reaction, trotting out from behind a thick tree.

“S’okay, I was already on edge. Jake, what are you doing all the way out here?” I grimaced, rising out of my defensive stance, my tail wagging a couple times. He didn’t fail to notice, twitching his ears in response.

“What, the alpha can’t come to visit his only pack member now?”

“Well, no, I just meant why would you want to be out here with me? I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.”

“Look, Leah, I’m here, okay? Don’t make me regret coming, you seemed like you could use it,” he snapped.

“Okay, I’m not, I’m sorry,” I almost whispered, looking down at my foot pawing the ground.

“Do you want me to get you some breakfast?”

“Jake, I-”

“Some human breakfast.”

       I moved my gaze back up to his copper-red face, not quite meeting his eyes. I let out a small whine in sync with the rumble in my stomach. Suddenly, he took off in the opposite direction dashing behind a tree and phasing into his human form. He appeared around the other side in his regular human clothes and gestured for me to do the same. I let out a low growl to which he chuckled in response and raised both his hands level with his face in surrender, turning on his heels and crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes and darted behind a tree out of sight to phase and yank on my human clothes. When I emerged around the other side he was already a few feet away from me, grinning and looking me up and down. Then, he frowned.

“Leah, are you eating enough?” he demanded.

       For a moment his question shocked me. Maybe too much time alone was getting to him, he never paid me this much attention. He barely even talked to me this much before. My words caught in my throat and I stared at him in disbelief. Why did he care? I was glad he couldn’t hear my every thought now.

“That’s not your business,” I snapped, folding my arms across my chest. “Last I checked, I don’t answer to you.”

       He glared at me as if he were trying to crack me, but after a few moments, he shook his head and grabbed my hand. He began pulling me towards the edge of the forest and I didn’t fight him on it because I really was hungry. Besides, he was much bigger than me, I could only do so much.

“If I had known you were this bad at taking basic care of yourself I never would’ve let you go off by yourself,” he growled, glancing down at me. 

I glared at him as we strolled out of the forest and began through the city to find somewhere to eat.

“I can take care of myself just fine, thank you.”

“Clearly not,” he held my hand up and gestured to my entire arm as evidence to back up his opinion. I rolled my eyes again, there was nothing wrong with my arm. Maybe I was just delusional thinking I actually wanted his company, he was more annoying than I remembered. 

       We found a little small-town cafe type place that we went into. Jake was still holding my hand when we went in and a couple waitresses eyed me sourly. I followed their lines of sight down to our hands which were intertwined and immediately I let go, folding my arms across my chest and avoiding their gazes. He didn’t seem to notice, flashing a dazzling grin at the hostess who was now taking us to a window booth. She all but melted right there on the spot. At this point, I was unsure if Jake had any awareness of his effect on any woman besides Bella or if he just didn’t care. We took our seats across from each other while the short brunette hostess proceeded to ask our drink preference.

“We’ll have two waters, please,” he sounded like he was trying too hard to be polite, smiling at her and nodding.

         He redirected his eyes to the menu once she left and I quickly scanned the one in my hands before deciding I’d want some pancakes and eggs. I slapped the menu shut and set it on the edge of the table, taking a moment to look around the place and take in every old-fashioned, dusty element of this little cafe. The paneled walls were off white and decorated with various framed photos of old white people usually standing with a big red barn in the background or posed with their family outside in a field. It reminded me of my family’s house back in La Push. All the chairs had metal frames and black leather-looking covers. The floor had a wood grain pattern, but I couldn’t tell if it was real or not. There were a few old couples scattered around the rest of the cafe, but other than them, us, and the staff the place was a ghost town inside and out. A few moments after I decided to let my eyes wander they made their way back to Jacob only to realize he was watching me. I frowned. 

“What are you looking at, punk?” I teased but held a serious expression on my face.

“Nothing,” he chuckled. “You just look sort of like a kid in a candy store.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me Jacob Black. I’m older than you,” I growled.

       He rolled his eyes at me. It was true, I was older than Jacob even though it didn’t look like it. I vaguely remember when he was born because I was around three years old. I watched him grow up, he and Seth played together often and Bella would join too, up until she stopped coming up to her Dad’s all together. We would all three or four run around down on the beach even though it was much too cold to be near the water. Bella liked to find cool rocks and Jacob liked to throw rocks at her. He threw them at me too, but I’d threaten to beat him up if he didn’t stop so he did. Seth and Jacob liked to collect bugs and bring ‘em back to Billy, mom, and dad. Mom would always scream at them to keep the bugs outside where they belonged and the boys got a kick out of her hysteria. They would also chase Bella around with them because it made her scream and run. Eventually, though, she started smacking them instead of running so they stopped that too. I huffed and smiled mostly to myself at the memories that came like a flood in my mind. I had forgotten a lot of my history with Jacob. 

       Suddenly, pulling me out of my daydream, Jacob cleared his throat. My drifted gaze snapped to him with a glare and he jerked his head to alert me that the waitress was almost here. My expression softened and I shifted my eyes away from him embarrassedly. The waitress approached our table, barely glancing at me, settling her eyes on Jacob. She wore a shining smile and she asked him what she could get for him. He proceeded to rattle off this long order of foods I paid no attention to while she scribbled furiously and shoved in her clarifying questions whenever she could. It was kind of funny. I snorted to myself watching her struggle to keep up with him. Finally, when he had finished she turned to me with another sour look.

“And for you?” she asked, breathlessly and with a lot less politeness than before. 

“Pancakes and scrambled eggs please,” I said, slapping the menus into her hand when she reached and watched her walk away. 

       She definitely ran to tell the other waitress what had just happened. Their fawning made me chuckle to myself. Jacob would never notice them the way they noticed him. It was a lost cause. I met Jacob’s gaze and he looked annoyed with me again. I rolled my eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I huffed, pouting out the window.

“Leah, you literally ordered two pancakes and two eggs, you can’t live off of that,” he hissed. 

“Jacob, I know how to take care of myself,” I hissed back at him. This was starting to get very annoying.

“Leah, I’m just worried about you,” he sighed, reaching for my hand across the table. I yanked it from his reach and stared at him with wild anger now burning in my face. Why was he suddenly being so nice to me? 

       I locked eyes with him and suddenly my breath was knocked from my chest. My eyes grew wide and I froze. Suddenly, every memory I’d ever made with Jacob raced through my mind like adrenaline in my veins. I felt my lungs fill and deflate with air, somehow knowing each breath now had a purpose bigger than just myself. His expression changed too, I wondered if he was feeling what I felt. I was suddenly more grounded. My hand gravitated towards his still stretched out across the table, grabbing it firmly in mine. I felt the weight of all my troubles seemingly lift off my shoulders, my mind became clear, my heart was beating with more enthusiasm. My hand buried in his began to feel hotter than the rest of my body if that was even possible with my already abnormal body temperature. His Amber eyes seemed to see into my soul, he squeezed my hand endearingly, matching my gaze. Our breathing was in sync now and both our jaws fell open ever-so-slightly as we stared into each other’s eyes. Why had I never noticed him like this before in all my years of knowing him? It was like the electricity was pulsing between him and me, connecting through our intertwined hands. He was like a cool summer breeze basking under the warm sun on the beach. He was suddenly laughter and cookouts, breakfast on the back porch overlooking the ocean, and picnics on top of a mountain. I could see in him everything I’d ever dreamed of having. Sitting here with him, our hands melting into each other becoming a uniform stream of energy and life, I knew I’d found exactly what I wanted. I could only hope he’d feel the same.

        We both snapped suddenly back into reality when we realized the waitress had returned with our food. “That was fast,” I thought to myself, wondering how long we’d been sitting like that. I yanked my hand out of the way, staring down at my hands now curled in my lap under the table and I began biting my lip nervously. What the fuck just happened? 

       I listened to Jacob talk to the waitress but paid no attention to what he was saying, I couldn’t focus on anything but the sound of his voice that seemed to command the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. He cleared his throat a minute or two after she left when I still hadn’t moved.

“Leah?” his voice was soft now, almost resembling the kid in him.

       My stomach flipped at the sound. I took a deep breath and forced my eyes up to meet his. He looked petrified with anxiety, so my hand instinctively shot out to silently ask for his again before I could even process his expression. My eyes grew wide at my actions but softened when he took it with a smile. My face dropped into a relieved smile in response and I squeezed his hand reassuringly. Whatever this was, I could get used to it. He held onto my hand all through breakfast, not letting go one time and I wasn’t about to make the first move either. I was content at that moment. By the time I’d finished my measly little two pancakes and two eggs, he had also devoured his entire three meals worth of food and the waitress had given us our ticket. I didn’t even question where he got money from, it seemed like something I didn’t want to know. Besides, I was too busy soaking up this new side of Jacob I’d been given. I didn’t even notice the waitresses anymore though I was sure they were whispering about us and exchanging dirty looks. So, we got up, paid, and left even though we didn’t know where we were going. He still had my hand firmly locked in his grip as he led me back towards the forest.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Sound (Deaf!Reader x Alec Volturi)

Being deaf was hard, you had been since birth and never experienced sound but what actually made it difficult was the others around you. It was like the world was wired to go left whilst you were wired to go right. Communication was hell. You weren't the best lip reader, learning sign language was a saving grace. However, you learned young that you weren't like the other kids. They would all move their mouths in excited conversation- all in sync but you would have no clue what they said whilst your friends did. Whilst watching everyone act like fish sounds amusing, it was horrible because whilst everyone made an effort to communicate, you wanted the simple way of doing things that your peers had the ability to do. No signing, just talking...whatever that was like. 

You got used to it getting older, people made less effort than they did when you were young. You knew you weren't the only one that happened to. It was considered ordinary to see these different requirements and unless there is no other choice, people usually just dusted you under the rug. You get slowly iced out from the world yet still forced to do your part in the endless cycle of society.

Ironically, being around vampires was just as isolating, you had no idea what they were saying and they had no idea how to talk to you. None of them had learned sign language. It didn't bother you on a personal level, you expected it by this point in life. The Cullen's were lovely people. You knew they felt bad as they always looked apologetic and it was clear in their body language they were trying their best. You welcomed it and were pleasant about it but it wasn't enough. You still felt lonely, it was like a curse. You were forced to watch the world go by and have no clue what was actually happening. It saddened you that hearing aids didn't work for you. It was a major blow to your motivation but you picked yourself up and carried on. 

You weren't told you were going to Italy, you were just handed the ticket, just like you weren't told you'd be seeing Edward in a castle. You couldn't piece together why you were there though. Then you had company of two in familiar men and then a girl around your age. All three not looking even remotely friendly. Alice linked her arm with yours, giving you a reassuring nod, tugging you forward. After an elevator ride and more walking, you were in a large marble room with even more unfamiliar vampires. Just like routine, they started talking...and you had no clue what they were saying. Eventually you tuned it out looking at the floor, waiting to be tugged away to leave. You weren't aware of Caius yelling at you for insolence and ignoring him and Aro. You continued to stare down at the floor, kicking your heel along the floor every so often. Caius was about to stand up when Edward finally got the opportunity to tell them that you weren't being rude but that you couldn't hear them. Aro was intrigued as Edward continued to explain you were deaf. 

You looked up when Alice gently tapped your wrist pointing at your hand before pointing to Aro's outstretched hand looking at him pointedly. You were clearly very confused, thinking he wanted a handshake but instead he held your hand, his head bent slightly. You looked at Alice and Edward in panic but they only nodded at you. It wasn't as comforting as intended. Aro broke away and after a few moments your gaze once again met the floor. "Fascinating! Yet sad. To see how they live, in silence. It's a form of beauty but so unfortunate." Aro paused. "As well as lonely." Alec suddenly seemed interested. Perhaps you had even a slight idea how he and his sister felt when they were human. Alec concentrated on your face and his thoughts were confirmed. You looked distant and just as Aro had put it- you looked sad. 

When the Cullen’s left, Alec soon felt the urge to know more about you and headed to find Aro. Aro was surprised to see Alec, without his sister, at the door of his study. This meant the matter was likely very personal. “Alec?” Aro tilted his head. “Master, that human, the one that is deaf. Did you see the nature of their condition?” “Yes, they live in a completely silent world. Have never experienced sound since birth. Why do you ask?” Alec faltered slightly, less confident about his reasoning. Aro reached out his hand. “Perhaps, you could show me?” Slowly, Alec complied and as soon as they touched, a rush of thoughts come to Aro’s mind, a life of replay. He then understood Alec’s curiosity. Not only had he not been around such a condition, he also felt some what attached by the possibility of a companion who understood the isolation he went through himself. Aro’s eyes flickered back up to Alec’s. “If this is the path you wish to take, i will grant it but I’d like to offer some advice.” Alec’s expression didn’t change as Aro explained, instead it felt like Aro had given him a key. 

Following Bella after camping wasn’t fun. You hated camping, even more so when crazy violent vampires show up to pick a fight. You didn’t know why Bella made herself bleed with the rock but you were glad it worked. Everyone grew nervous as the wolves left with an injured Jacob and that was when you were beginning to stress too much. Carlisle noticed and hurriedly took your hand, palm upwards and began to trace letters on your palm. V-O-L-T-U-R-I. You jumped as Rosalie pulled you to Bella’s side just as Carlisle moved to Esme’s. Sure enough, a few moments later they appeared. They looked just as menacing as the first time you met months back. You were careful to keep your eyes on the guards and not the body fueled fire. That wasn’t a pleasant sight. Then the guards gaze was directed to another dark haired girl- wait who was that girl? You had never seen her before. No one told you who she was. You grew agitated again, finding it difficult to hide on your expression. You looked away sharply when the tallest guard and possibly the tallest of everyone moved towards the girl. You squeezed your eyes shut. 

When your eyes opened, the smallest man moved in to your line of sight but kept his distance. Your eyes widened as his hands moved in very…particular and recognised movements. You quickly raised your own hands. -You sign?- He paused. -I am learning.- You smiled. -What is your name?- You were eager to know his name. He was the first person to actually talk to you. He suddenly looked uncertain and it occurred to you that he might not know how to sign his name. You mimed writing on your palm, offering your hand quickly after. He seemed to catch on and trailed his finger along your hand. -A. L. E. C.- You looked up with a grin and nodded frantically. You couldn’t get enough of the interaction, it was the most communication you had in months. No one had learned sign language for you. Alec moved again. -I would like if you came to Italy with me. Would you do that?- You knew this probably wasn’t the best decision. They were strangers after all. Not to mention the abundance of other reasons why you shouldn’t, under any circumstances, do it. Yet you wanted to. He offered company, communication where the Cullen’s didn’t. You didn’t know why he had begun learning sign language but you couldn’t ignore this interaction. 

You nodded. You nodded before you even realised that you had. You quickly signed your agreement and Alec held out his hand for you to take. Immediately Edward protested and so did the others when realising what was happening. Alice flinched. She was met with a vision of you. 

You had been changed, you looked very happy with the Volturi. The environment was new all over again but not for the reasons Alice had originally thought. She could hear music playing, the piano to be exact. She followed you as you investigated and found Chelsea playing the piano, Afton sitting beside her as he watched. Alice looked at you, thinking maybe you heard it playing but something about your expression told you that had to be wrong. You slowly crouched down, fingers pressing against the floor boards. Alice did so too, grasping your shoulder as she did. She felt a vibration in the floor, following the melody of the piano. Chelsea and Afton looked down at you in confusion, Chelsea stopped playing and your eyes snapped up to meet them. Afton nudged his mate, urging her to keep playing. She continued and your eyes darted straight to the floor again. You slowly rose to a stand, eyes on the piano, the source of the vibrations. Slowly you reached out. “Can you hear it?” Chelsea asked but you didn’t respond, you didn’t seem to hear her. You bent over the piano, pressing your ear against it, hands pressed on each side. You gasped. Alice could no longer feel it since she let go of you but the vibrations were so much stronger. So much so that your next action made all three, Alice, Chelsea and Afton jump in shock. With your nails you tapped in time, in rhythm with the song. Chelsea stopped playing in her shock and you leaned back. A soft smile growing on Afton’s face. You were in complete awe.  She snapped out of it and immediately urged her family to let you go, surprising the Volturi. “Trust me, let them go.” 

Many months passed and the Cullen’s heard you were changed. Yourself and Alec becoming much more than friends. The Volturi believed you to be gifted. Your body and the venom working together to find some kind of evolutionary resolve to your hearing loss. Whilst you still couldn’t hear, you were hypersensitive to the vibrations each sound made. You were no longer in silence nor vulnerable, you could feel people coming from any direction. It was funny, it was discovered one day when you felt vibrations, following them to find Afton and Chelsea at the piano- the source. Alec would never forget the day you pressed yourself against him, ear to his chest, as Afton and Chelsea followed you telling him that he’d never believe what Chelsea was about to say. First, he had to talk. When he did, you squeezed him tighter, grinning but also ready to spill tears that could never fall. When they explained, Alec immediately pushed you back, signing quickly, asking you what it was like. You looked thoroughly overwhelmed and even more so trying to find the right word to describe it. You could have said terrifying, or strange but instead you chose a different word. A word you never thought you’d get to use. You quickly signed back. -Loud!- It was the most wonderful thing in the world, no one could ever, change your mind on that.

[kfdirector]

Student Awareness of Nonstandard Danger Society

   Jacob’s eyes opened just a few seconds later - or at least his brain got back to admitting that his eyes were open again.  His lungs whistled for a few breaths, and he took stock of his senses while the wind brushed back in.  Flat on his back: check.  Someone’s shoe resting on his cheek: check.  His legs atop someone’s arms: check.  Conclusion: he had played and lost a lightning round of Twister.

   “Would,” he wheezed, “you mind,” and again, “getting off of me?”

   A wheeze not his own preceded a huffed “In a minute.”  Her landing had apparently not been much softened by Jacob.  Then, with a grunt, she began to stand, managing to place knee, shin, and heel in rapid succession upon something Jacob cared rather much about.  While he shouted in pain, his eyes caught sight of that open skylight again, and below it the metal frame of the lighting rig.

   “Sorry, hon,” she said, and Jacob pushed himself to his feet, eying his mysterious vertical assailant.  “Thanks for breaking my fall, though - and sorry about your, well, everything.”  She started to turn and step away, but Jacob reached and grabbed her shoulder.

   “One moment there, Ma’am.”  Jacob coughed.  “I’m really going to need someone to explain why a tall voluptuous Hmong lady fell on my head in the school theater just now.”

   He let go of her shoulder, and she turned on one heel back to face him, looking him straight in the eyes, one eyebrow arched.  Her face full of concern, she made a few false starts, moving her lips and trying to figure out what to say.

   Jacob raised a hand.  “I mean, I don’t need one single explanation for all of it, but come on.  This is not your average trespassing-on-school-grounds situation here.”

   She made a sound Jacob chose to hear as a guffaw.  “I’m only five nine.  And ‘voluptuous’?  Really? Is that ‘fat in a pretty way’ or ‘pretty in a fat way’?”

   Jacob waved off the question, determined to override his mouth before his brain could come up with a detailed but unwise assessment.  “Pleading the Fifth.”

   She rolled her eyes.  “And Hmong?  You saw me for maybe two seconds.  How’d you get there?”

   He shrugged.  “Dumb luck; maybe I thought it’d be a more interesting guess than Chinese.  Was I right?”

   “Well, hon, you got it in one.  Good for you!”  She started to turn again, and he reached out again.

   “Definitely still missing the most important part, Ma’am.  The part where you fell on my head in the theater at - ” Jacob glanced at his wristwatch.  “ - two in the morning?”

   “Would ten in the morning have been a better time?”

   If she was expecting that to make him blink, she was disappointed.  “No, that would be very disruptive to class, and it would still hurt like hell.  But really: why, why here, why now?”

   She pushed him back as he started to advance.  “Another time, hon.  I’m already very late from being stuck on the roof, and I need to get going.  You can catch me later?”

   “I can?”

   “Yessir, when you bring in the reports on how my classes you subbed for went.”

   He raised his finger again, and then lowered it, this time not reaching out as she walked away.  “When I what?”

   “You’re subbing for me tomorrow, Mister Niewitzski.  Take care now!”

   As he tried to mentally shift gears without engaging the clutch, Jacob stood there unmoving as the woman slipped out of sight, with a bad headache, a pained body, and really no idea what just happened.

   “‘Voluptuous’?” he said back to himself.  “Where did that come from?”

* * *

   After a few more hours of sleep, a clean-up in the gym showers, and a settle in at his desk in Room 203, he checked his e-mail.  Indeed, what had been his planning period was now to be spent covering for a science teacher named Sara Early - a freshman class.

   “And on that class’s first day, no less.  What is with the work ethic around here?”

   There were a lot of familiar faces in the laboratory classroom, although he doubted he could tie names to more than one or two of the faces.  First days were usually name-learning exercises, but - what good was that, if this wasn’t his normal class?

   A hand was raised just after the bell rang.  Niewitzski squinted.  Something Gutierrez?

   “Do you want us to recount our ancestry again, Mister Niewitzski?”

   That had been yesterday’s exercise: it was a history class, so he had wanted personal histories.  This boy’s parents were refugees from El Salvador, if he remembered right.  It stood out.  “No, Mister Gutierrez - ” The lack of reaction on the boy’s face said he had that one right, although he’d need to check a list later to find a first name.  “ - this is science.  And you’re all the same species, genus, family..." He paused, thinking a little harder, trying to show off.  “...order, class, phylum, kingdom and domain, so I really don’t need to hear that twenty-odd times.”  He folded his arms.  “When I call your name, get up here and say your name and something interesting about yourself in haiku.  No, this has nothing to do with science.  Tell Mrs. Early when she gets back that she needs to give her subs a little more warning.  And also not to miss the first day.”

   Another hand shot up.  A small brunette girl, horn-rimmed glasses, disturbingly good handwriting, Niewitzski recalled.  Also a first name, but not her last.  “Yes, Tracey?”

   “Miss.”

   Niewitzski blinked.  “I beg your pardon?”

   “Miss Early.  She’s single.  Her name doesn’t sound Chinese because she was adopted.  But she’s not married.  I don’t think she has a boyfriend, either.”

   Niewitzski’s eyes blinked a few times, his mouth opened and shut a few times; not quite in sync with each other.

   “Er, my, uh, older brother had her last year, and I, um, thought you maybe might want to know.  Sorry.”

   A girlish giggle from elsewhere in the class alerted Niewitzski that either his fluster or a blush had betrayed a vulnerability he had no interest in yielding to a foe so dangerous as a bunch of high schoolers.  At once he swept his hand to one side, and then pounded his other fist on the table, and shouted: “Right then! HAIKU!”

* * *

The exercise had been a debacle, but eventually the lunch bell had rang and therefore Miss Early’s class was No Longer His Problem.  Niewitzski sat down at the teacher’s table with a lukewarm chicken sandwich, and stared at the disappointment that was the patty for a long minute.  At last he became aware of someone else at this table, and he looked up from his meal and its aluminum wrapping.

Wheels turned and spat out another name.  “Craig. What can I do for you?”

Niewitzski really wanted to not think of the boy as a twerp.  Thick glasses, a blond bowl cut, and a slightly nasal voice that advertised the speaker as a holder of surplus lunch money - these were not things that were helping Niewitzski in that goal.  A part of Niewitzski that he was alarmed to realize existed voiced the idea that perhaps the kid could be made to finance a replacement for the disappointing sandwich in his hands. He shook his head, trying to clear the intrusive thoughts.

“Mister Niewitzski, I, ah..."  Niewitzski stared at him, leaving the choice to finish the sentence or flee the scene entirely in the boy’s hands.  “...what’s the school policy on demon summoning?”

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 6- “No matter what I throw to the wall, it won’t erase whatever writing is currently there”-Nick

SOMEHOW. .. I escaped rocks!  and the whole hufflepuff alliance did too!  I'm really sad about Jess going because I ADORE her but...  ugh. Part of me is very glad that Owen is still in the game because I feel like maybe I can salvage my relationship I had with him and we can sneakily work together without the rest of my alliance getting wind of it.  I just hope that hufflepuff doesn't have to worry about going to tribal again anytime until the merge.  That was... WOW. 

I have crazy news all you cool cat and kittens! https://media.giphy.com/media/RGixkYkOKdWATSReHt/giphy.gif 

 Tribal happened and instead of it being between me and Max as I had anticipated the Hufflepuffs voted for Owen. That's... a twist!! Anyway, since they are a bunch of phonies who lie I stuck my vote against Max and everyone else stuck with theirs letting rocks decide

 https://media1.tenor.com/images/422ca011d526025e11c9eaf90a3edf59/tenor.gif?itemid=11361132 

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This is kinda funny since we were joking about letting fate decide the vote prior to the crazy round. Also, I think Jess scored the lowest on the immunity challenge so it's like we voted off our weak link even though she didn't even do that much worse and it's a terrible way to look at things since she was such a good ally. Anyway, hoping immunity is something that we can win so that we don't suffer another tribal council because I'm pretty confident that they won't take a swing at Owen again just yet.

I LOVE how my business is getting spread from person to person LOL.  This is like the game of telephone that just keeps going.  I WAS MAD AT OWEN FOR TELLING PEOPLE I WAS IN AN ALLIANCE!  WHICH I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.  somehow it has now gotten turned to me telling owen how i felt about max LOL.  Yes, I did tell Owen that i usually just talk to max in the OG Hufflepuff chat but NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO KEEP OUTING MY ALLIANCE TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD now chips is wanting tea and i gave him some but i'm trying to without admitting the hufflepuff alliance chat that everyone already knows about now anyway.  WHY IS MY DRAMA THE CENTER OF ATTENTION ON THIS TRIBE CAN'T  SOMEONE ELSE RUN THEIR MOUTH NOW SO PEOPLE CAN TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO SOMEONE NEW??? but okay I think Owen and I are good now but I still trust Lily above EVERYONE else in this game. 

Hm... so Landen told me that he was planning on giving more information before the revote and the rock draw.. but unfortunately he wasn't there to share. I find out that Owen already communicated to him that Max and myself are the expendable bottom two of our tribe and that just kinda... syncs up with what I said earlier about Owen. Here I was thinking we had turned over a leaf. I'm going to give him another chance with me. And not judge him based on what somebody else said (and could have been lying about) that he said. But if the shoe fits. https://media1.tenor.com/images/a19f8b641e24d8c212ba0b3913af45ca/tenor.gif?itemid=11553933

THIS IS MY CONFESSIONAL FOR LAST ROUND DONT GIVE ME A STRIKE PLZZZZZ ok really quickly basically the last vote was on raffy bc he tried to get the vote on jacob or jules (not me thank goodness) and he blew up his own game, i have 3 alliances one with joanna nick and jacob and one with joanna dan and jules and then my core alliance with jules and jacob, raffy was kinda the outlier for my own game because i had an alliance with everyone else and then i clicked well with autumn so i wanted it to be raffy and it kinda just came up that way organically and he did himself no favors. I kinda pitched to autumn how after this we're the sole people from our og tribes and we should stick together because if we lose again i kinda wanna vote out dan bc he has an idol and an undisclosed advantage ON TOP OF THAT so he is really dangerous and he thinks jules trusts him but me and jules are each others number 1s (i hope at least) and they are telling me everything, in a perfect world me jules jacob and autumn vote dan if we lose to avoid nick slipping anything and joanna from having an emotional time with it since she struggled with just voting dan out, its a big move but i think it needs to happen, it's also the best cast for me personally bc i have the weakest individual connection to dan whereas with joanna and autumn i feel really strongly with and like i can work with them, nick is also there but he doesnt pose much of a threat and i think with jacob still being in the game he will trust me or jacob the most and we can use that as a number. Anyways we ended up winning this challenge anyways so it didnt matter but heres to hoping we win again bc while i would be ok with dan going if we can win immunity thats priority, so heres to hoping we can do that

3 minutes later

OK THIS IS MY CONFESSIONAL FOR THIS ROUND RIP JESS !!!!!!!!!! I AM SO SAD JESS IS GONE I LOVE HER WITH MY ENTIRE BEING SHE IS SO FUN AND SO GOOD AND I WANTED TO PLAY WITH HER BUT SURVIVOR GODS SAID NOPE I AM REALLY SAD. i am so sad. but the game moves on, with jess leaving nick really has no one besides me and jacob and maybe joanna? but she is more loyal to her og ravenclaws, so im hoping he sticks to my side, autumn and i are clicking well but shes just likable so shes clicking with everyone, i hope we can get closer in the game as well bc i wanna work with her, dan scares me alot, if we lose again i might try to blindside him with jules but idk, its all up in the air, challenge is music videos, im not particularly fond of this challenge or any judgement based challenge for that matter but i am rolling with it, it's usually fun i guess, but im awkward so eek, idk my tribe doesn't seem like the type to stand out in a music video but maybe they will all surprise me and turn it out, heres to hoping that happens! ok bye for now!

I’m probably being super sensitive rn but I really don’t like Joanna. Like at all. If it’s not her idea, she doesn’t want to do it. Like she’s so demanding and annoying and I feel like it’s probably just the game getting to her but I really don’t like it

So after my last confessional, what happened was I went to Ruthie to double check whether the information I was getting was true and she did want to vote for Max. i made sure to cover my bases discussing this with Lily and also telling Ruthie I'm totally down to vote Max if she is, i want to make myself as trustworthy as possible to her and start working with her more down the line, it's key moments like these where establishing trust is VITAL! with her being pissed that owen spread the information and wanting to vote hufflepuff strong though, it was the perfect time for us to try to make a move on owen. I was really confident I could flip Juls and Chips on the revote, and the truth is if I hadn't NAPPED THROUGH TRIBAL.. LMAO... I most likely could have. But it all worked out in the end since we deadlocked and Jess went home in the rocks. I love Jess and was really excited to work with her, but it's very obvious I wasn't a priority to her, and her going home leaves 4 Hufflepuffs on this tribe, so I'm okay with the results. I did my best afterward and will continue to work hard on damage control with Owen, Juls, and Chips. I went from perhaps one of the upcoming boots to a higher up social center on this tribe and I'm hoping that goes mostly unnoticed? But who knows. That's why we gotta win this challenge! Speaking of, it's a music video challenge! Yay I'm so happy I got to do one of these sooner rather than later :D I've had a blast coordinating the challenge with Lily. We work really well together and I feel it extends to challenges, but also our casual conversation, and just the fact that we get along so well, she is pretty much my tightest person in the game right now and I think that we can do a lot of damage as a long term duo (especially with an alliance with Ruthie, Max as an additional number to that, and us being Positioned in the middle tier of the Huffs.) I'm well aware how likable Lily is though so I'll keep that in mind before I promise ride or die loyalty forever, but for right now I'm very happy working with her. I'm STILL not going to look for any spells, sorry bout it. but yyyeaah... Overall I'm pretty satisfied with the MarshmallowMoves I've been making and im looking forward to what happens next in this crazy game.

Our music video is........ gonna lose lmao. It’s no shade at Joanna bc fuck editing. But it’s soooooooooooooo boring. I feel like the judges will watch like 30 seconds and fall asleep. It’s a cute song choice and everything, but it’s also....... so bland. The Harry Potter puppet pals would have been so good and I stand by it. 

I'm literally SO HAPPY!!! Hufflepuff won a creative challenge that I did a lot of work directing on (HUGE props to Lily who I love and was amazing to work with on this), and some of my ideas got mentioned in the comments as good things!! I'm honestly just ecstatic about the way this whole challenge went down, it was so much fun. Juls did an amazing job editing, the filming everyone else did was fantastic, I'm just in love with this tribe and I'm so happy with the music video we did. Not only that, but I wasn't feeling too hot about tribal council. It's not that I thought I'd be going home, but I thought the vote would be very difficult. It most likely would have had to fall on Chips or Owen - if it had been Chips, that would be really tough and could even result in some spell plays being cast against us, with the vote being probably 4-3 since Juls/Chips are close. If it had been OWEN though, Juls and Chips maybe would've voted with us, but Ruthie probably would've not wanted to go for him now that they've had a chance to talk it out since she admitted to their old Final 2. Luckily Ruthie and I were able to now agree on an official alliance between us and Ruthie, so it looks like we've got a lot to do together and I'm excited to see what the future holds. I've been trying to damage control a bit with Chips and Owen, I'm not sure how well it's working. Owen is a very naturally social person and I feel that he is quite good at deceiving his true feelings and emotions, either that or he is very rational and calm about the game, not upset he VERY nearly got blindsided - either way, he's super dangerous and I can't just trust that we had a nice conversation one time, it'd be dumb of me. I'm feeling positive about where I stand with this tribe right now though, I don't think anyone would be able to get a strong majority to target me because I really don't think Juls, Max, Ruthie, or Lily would want to vote me out. At least I sure hope not! No, but, a lot of times with creative challenges in these games I struggle because I am pursuing creative passions in real life, so even though it's just a few judges, it can feel defeating when you get judged bad and harsh critique. I take those criticisms into account but it can still make you feel a little self conscious at times. Winning this challenge was a huge boost and just something that made me feel good, not to mention the fun times I had doing it with everyone on the team. Overall - a GOOD DAY! One could even say.. "A sunny day!" (one of my lines in the music video DUH) Hopefully Kev doesn't go out, curious to see where this game goes next. Adios~

So thankful that we won! Although I feel like I need to deal with the madness that was the last tribal but if I’m being honest I’m just not ready. Last tribal was so beyond crazy but I know that’s part of the reason why I play. I didn’t play this game to play it safe. I’d rather mess my game up trying to make a move then sitting in the sand and letting others dictate what happens on a vote. Although in the end...rocks made the call. I really miss Jess and her company on the tribe. It sucks when someone leaves that you get along well with and I could see the potential of us working together in the future. Jess is a strong player and made it through so much already in this season. Seeing her go def has a huge impact on the rest of the game that’s for sure. I appreciate how Jess stuck to her guns too which I completely understand. With her going it shows me that I really need to prove myself and continue to be as bold as I can be without getting caught that is. I haven’t talked to Owen since we tried voting him out. He knows what happened. I know what happened. It’s awkward but I’m glad that we could all still have fun with the music video challenge. Landen and I did a lot of the planning and Juls did the editing. And everyone put in their input on ideas and sending in quality magic videos. I’m glad we turned out with something cute and fun. I wanted to suggest a tiger king song in Jess’s honor but wasn’t sure if the judges would appreciate it in the same way. Wondering what’s going to happen in this game. Ruthie and I have been working together in the castle to find an idol. So far no luck and I assume at this point in the game anything and everything would have been found by now. But who knows. We shouldn’t give up that’s for sure. Even though last tribal was incredibly difficult and hard and I’m not sure if I even handled it the best way I could, I’m still having fun playing this game and glad to be here. Hoping merge is around the corner even though I’m not ready for the craziness that comes with it. 

Y’all this vote is stupid af haha. THE LADIES ARE FIGHTING! And by ladies I mean Autumn and Nick. They both want each other dead, and Joanna wants Jacob dead lmao. Me and Kevin are legit sitting here like 🥴

last round.. mess. this round.. thank god we won LMAOOO. i honestly don’t know what all to say because i’m starting to question where everyone stands with me, BUT. i think i’ll be fine.. hopefully. unless people keep lying to me, that’s when i’m como se dice.. fucked <3 

okay lemme scream in my dr real quick....jacob's ass DIDNT DO SHIT IN THE CHALLENGE BC HES IN 7 FUCKING ORGS BUT IF I VOTE HIM OUT AGAIN I HURT HIS FEELINGS??? he's also a loyal ally to me (at least, loyal enough) but he wants to keep NICK in who?? literally is gunning for me?? dude you put urself in this position not doing the challenge and it makes me so angry that i have to cover for him and cover his ass!! when he didnt do shit!! and i honestly think he's !!!! good enough to vote out at this point!!! especially bc mister dan thinks i know jacob IN REAL LIFE??? IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK !!!!!!!! JACOB SHOULD'VE TRIED IN THE CHALLENGE!!! HE GOT HIMSELF INTO THIS MESS!!!

Good news! I mean,  it's kind of good news. We had a music video challenge and we picked a fun song. We did Magic by Selena Gomez sung for The Wizards of Waverly Place movie! So that was a lot of fun... and I suggested to our tribe we have some sort of "story" and aren't just lip syncing because I have had too many lost lip syncs where we lost because of no story being evident. So we did a "getting into Hogwarts" and being Hufflepuffs and it was cute! And fun!! I'm pretty sure if we lost I would be the vote off since they think Owen has an idol so they would vote me out since Landen has a close relationship to Juls and so I'm the next most obvious choice. Anyway! Our story carried us to the win!!! I believe this might be the first time across all ORGs that I've won a lip sync comp. That might be a lie, but I have a pretty bad track record.

ooooooh if this tribe don't make a damn DECISION! https://media.tenor.com/images/4ff794852927c7441b26618a705b340f/tenor.gif The vote has been me, Jules, Jacob, Nicholas, God, Trump- you name it. Particularly because Nicholas refuses to just sit down and eat his food. Like everyone was just gonna vote Jacob and then Nicholas had to start throwing names out, starting with me of course, so I've literally been whipping the vote all day. And just when I got a majority on Nicholas, now he's making a group chat with Joanna, Dan, and Kevin (aka all the white people lmao) to inform them that he's now ready to vote Jacob??? 

 https://giphy.com/gifs/bad-girls-club-bgc-rocky-8Cprh3gaXGGQw 

 Where was that energy at like 2:00? And why am I always saying that about Slytherin? They're nocturnal I swear to God and they don't give a fuck until the sun goes down because otherwise make it make sense. Why take us all through changes for 5 hours if you're actually down to vote your brother out? Like we have lives- make a decision and stick to it. And then all that back and forth is just showing your ass?? So now EVERYONE knows who you want out and just how indecisive you are. And tbh sending him out would do him a favor because how are you gonna come back from exposing your entire hand. I honestly want us to go back to tribal after this just so I get another shot at him before merge. Cause if he mobs up with Hufflepuff at merge it's a wrap for me. But! today we learned who's really with who and that shit is KEY: Jacob and Joanna got beef, Nick apparently has beef with me and Jules, Nick has Joanna and thinks he has Dan but doesn't, Kevin and I are solid, Dan and I are officially made a deal, and I think Jules thinks Ravenclaw is solid buuuut that ain't true lmao. But like it's fine Basically all's well that ends well, a Slytherin boy will go home and I have no clue which but I don't care at this point because enough is enough, and I'm going back to watching How to Get Away with Murder. So call me when y'all ready for me to vote https://66.media.tumblr.com/a6fc82d986adfcc112785f209fe163bd/tumblr_inline_ngmjfrxq071sggcf2.gif

WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS JOANNA IS RIGHT!!!!! SHE'S RIGHT!!!!! 

Long story short, I hate everyone here. Everyone is running around acting a fool about who to vote and frankly i don't even care who goes. my worry is that joanna knows about my steal a vote and I don't want her to fucking leak that shit around if I vote out nick, but at the same time I don't trust jacob because he's legit never online!! maybe i'll just tell joanna right before the vote that kevin told me he was voting nick so I flipped??? i'm so stressed. 

okay. im fine now. ITS FINE!!!! I LOVE YOU JACOB !!!! IF UR READING THIS I LOVE U BITCH!!!! AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN U BITCH!!!!! EVEN WHEN U MAKE GAMES HARD!!!!!!!

This round has been a whirlwind. I feel I’m losing the morals I entered the game with, because I’m possibly having to sacrifice my final slytherin teammate to stay in the game. I thought I had a grasp on this tribe, but I genuinely feel so lost. It’s exhausting, and I’ve been fighting back tears of exhaustion and defeat the entire day. I trust Joanna and Kevin with all my heart, but I secretly fear Joanna is just pocketing me as a number. Personally, I think we are great friends, but gameplay-wise, I do think she’s trying to gain me as a workable number. More power to her. I did not even suggest Autumn, I merely asked if that’s who is being considered since she’s one of the people, to my limited knowledge, that was outside the brewing majority alliance. I suppose it was leaked to her, meaning that I got blamed for a crime I did not commit. I tried fixing it with Autumn and Jules, but I’m unsure of my success. I believe Jacob will leave tonight, but I fear it’s my time. I’ve tried so hard, I just hate it. I applied to this game as a Ravenclaw, but I was placed on Slytherin. I’ve went to every tribal but one, but the one I did not go to resulted in one of my two allies leaving. Speaking of that, I’m thankful that Jess and I worked things out, genuinely. I just want to stay and fight, but I feel the spotlight is fading. No one is receptive, and no matter what I throw to the wall, it won’t erase whatever writing is currently there. ~ nick.

THIS IS AN AUTUMN APPRECIATION POST. I REPEAT. THIS IS AN AUTUMN APPRECIATION POST. PLS KNOW I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! POINT BLANK PERIOD!!!

Me almost forgetting to make one of these! I LOVE that we won another challenge and I really feel like something is about to happen to shake up the game, maybe a swap and one person is isolated for a bit or... merge? Okay sending this in before it’s late and I get a strike hehe. 

https://youtu.be/8omy0AqZ5cc

[survivornavarino]

Episode #1: I Tried Giving My Heart To Him Once, And He Ate It -Drew

*Extreme keyboard smashing* I love this cast so very muchhhhh

https://i.gyazo.com/9496850dcc77a64b212b20a2651ef2c3.jpg Is this where we post or selfie? Also So pumped to get this party started!

I'm having fun, it feels like everyone knows each other so that's- yknow that's like... it's fun... like 2 people know me

I’m actually really glad with who is in my tribe so far. Like tim and heather. Hopefully this doesn’t screw over my plan since they all ready know how I play. Isbdownriwkd maybe I shouldn’t have revealed everything to them. Maybe loyalty will perserve and they won’t fear back stab me ;-; This will throw a kink into things. I’ll see how much I can get the loyalty of the others to have a buffer against this chance

I just got situated on my new tribe and I was absolutely delighted to meet everyone. Everybody seems super friendly and excited to play. Right off the bat I recognized 3 other people from Zwooper, where I usually play Survivor games. Two of them I know vaguely, and another I am actually pretty close with. I know he’s a brilliant player and I have every intention of working extremely closely with him but I also know he is a huge threat, makes great speeches, and wins a ton of games. So I am just checking every avenue at this point. I am making sure not to get too comfortable in my little zwooper alliance. I have been talking to all the other new players - particularly Tim who seems really cool. It will naturally be in our best interests to keep our Zwooper background under wraps else we could easily be targeted for knowing each other. 

So I'm going to summarize my night one experience!!! The cast seems very very promising ! I love my tribe although I haven't spoken to everyone privately just yet. So inside the rules were an extra search up the mountain and I took it! I'm positive that I'm not the only one who found it though but it did in fact come in handy. The first task was to photoshop a picture of Zach riding a rhino during some historic event and that was hilarious lol. Its not the best quality since I made it for speed. On the second trip, I had to do a puzzle and omg do I hate puzzles why must yall make me suffer. I spent like 20 mins trying to do that puzzle lmao!!! This definetly puts everyone who took the advantage ahead by atleast one step. So the challenge!! Its a scavenger hunt and im happy that we get to do that! I really am stoked about the shakespearean stuff but Tim isnt a fool. This is fans vs faves after all and its important to be aware of the game collectively. Your boy  (partially) studied the cast as of last night more specifically the favorites and I am aware that Rebecka is extremely fond of scavenger hunts so Im going to make sure I put some extra effort into the challenge. I'm super excited for the game to pick up and really start rolling. Hopefully I can be able to make it pretty far and at least past first merge boot. Let the battle begin I guess!

Me and my PC are gonna have a freaking fight because it wont upload my Youtube Video!!!!! Fotr the hunt!!!! But anyways everyone seems to be contributing a bunch and being active in the chat maybe except for Kaugh? If that is their name? I haven't spoken to them yet but Pocket is also afk but I've spoken to him. 

I finally got to writing a confessional. YAY. I'M IN ATHENA WAITING TO BE FIRST BOOT. FUN FUN FUN. I am super excited that the first thing is a scavenger hunt. I am going to do an impressions thing when I get a better feel from everyone, and when the challenge is not taking up my time.

omg this game is fun it is a tad much to take in all at once but i am slowly getting comfortable with people and how to maneuver the tasks i think Tyler and Tim are my closest so far even though it is early but we are having fun with the challenge i think it helps us talk some since we just met. 

I am just beginning my takeover of this game, I am close with Pocket and Trixie and they will be my royal advisers. I will dispatch them to gain info for me tonight.

Im literally having so much fun filming all of these videos but my data is sufferingggg. Its worth it though because im having fun! Also one of our tribe mates is dead so thats an easy vote in the event that we lose which I see might be likely (Faves are strong man)

Live footage of me after picking path 3 on level 3 and falling, notifying the tribe of my searches:

I love dodging possible situations that could blow up my game with memes 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Heather just asked me what level I was on and I wasnt gonna actually tell her I was on level 3? So I told her I was on level 2 and picked path 2? Hopefully the trend of rocks falling on the number that is its path and level is a thing. Or she picked path 2 and saw rocks fall and now she thinks it was her fault. Either way I hope this zooms by everyones head. :/

So Shoib came to me and told me about the extra search which I already knew about but I plaued it dumb and was like "omg thank". This atleast means he is looking out for me or trying to befriend me in some way. Browny points for him but he's a clever one. Also Pocket was like .. did you get anything... NO  lmao! I wish! I hope he doesn't think I have some advantage somewhere.

Ok and another thing! Heather is on level 3 im sure of it and she picked path one know that. She used the same excuse as me after I said i didnt search on day one but she she claimed to be on level 2 and picked path one. Sure Jan. Also I don't think she saved her extra search just yet.

Im going to slow down the rate at which I search the Dientes de Navarino. Im speculating that once you use all 5 paths on level one up you're searching potential is over. Its smarter if I wait foran alliance so we can collaborate on which paths to use, ensuring that we dont run out of searches. I can also use that knowledge to sabotage them mwahahaha.

Shoib told me not to take path 4 on level 2... you know what im gonna do? Take path 4 on level 2 so that I can get back to level 3. Thanks pal you just helped me more than you could've ever known.

https://youtu.be/UgiNE3GvbNs

So, first challenge, I haven't done anything to help at all and that worries me. While I'm writing this there is a spider like a couple feet away from me and it's moving.

Im really enjoying this tribe and the tribe call! Alliance question mark? (Me, Heather, Jake, Tyler????

Can Vi and pocket leave the call so I can form an alliance fksgfhvhb.!

Can Vi leave the group call so I can make an alliance already!! Like sis has said she was leaving like 80 times already but shes still here! LET ME LIVE LOL

Well well well

I'm back at it again I LOVE this new pink room with pretty smiling faces at the top. The other confessional rooms could never. Ok so it's the first full day of the game, which feels a lot like the first day of school. You find your friends, see who's in your classes, and come up with a game plan. Obviously I don't know everyone, but I know enough. Mitch, Julia, Rebecka, Benjamin, Jake, Tim, AND Shoib?? Oh it's lit. So far I love my tribe and that will probably bode well for the season but you never know. I know there's beef between Eddie and Benjamin which is PERFECT for down the road, but for now I'm pretty happy and don't plan on turning up anytime soon

Now we know Mitch, Jacob, and Rebecka are my Himalayas family and I want to work with Benjamin too BUT I definitely have a Day 1 that I can count on and that's Julia. The tea is Julia and I joked about getting cast together and being allies and then it happened haha so we love a premade Final 2. At first I was nervous but Julia is great when she's not pissed and that reminds me a lot of myself lmao. She's literally Cher from Clueless- very high energy, sociable, and smart; which makes me Dionne- very chill, supportive, and strategic. Jules and I are redeeming ourselves after All Stars y'all heard it here first- the cracked queens are sticking together

Me thinking about the things I said about working with Vi.

I'm always reminded of the ravages of time while playing these games, i know it doesn't seem like a huge age difference but it def feels like decades between us, though everyone seems nice enough I feel like the camp councilor trying to stay relevant 

Me af rn

https://youtu.be/uEQYZMaNN94

This scavenger hunt is great. So far is seems really fair and equal. I don't get how the 100 likes is possible ;-; but lipsyncing was fun. I had to practice bc I dunno English *shrugs. Also I feel like there are a lot of inactive members but it usually takes me all the way until merge to learn people's names so... uh hopefully Heather and Tim will lead me. The tribe is so great, the discussion on games and musicals was fun. It really was a destresser. Hopefully we do it again soon!

Its the final day of the scavenger hunt and its going very well! Except for the fact that some people aren't lipsyncing or making cards! The lip sync is worth 10 points so like YALL GOTTA DO IT OR ELSE WE LOSE. We're gonna lose tho because peeps arent lip syncing but Katherine should be the easy vote. *Squints aggressively at tribe*

so far shoib and jake and Tyler have been talkative and definitely seem like they are possibly allies as we move forward im not impressed with any of the girls it is really hard to keep meaningful conversation going with them so we will see

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXFWMjhrAIk

So im pretty sure Rebecka actually went to the zoo to see a real rhino cuz she's a queen lol and I saw on my youtube that Ben made a paparrazi lipsync because he made it public and not unlisted fksksks i love knowledge its power

ahhhh i have so much to do today

I need to have a good conversation with autumn today and speak to her before immunity results come out an basically hey girly!!! I got your back ;)... but i need to talk to her like a lot this afternoon before i bring that up!'

I need to talk to Rebecca more too and have another conversation with her too and I really need to knock it out of the ball park in terms of making her feel like I’m somebody who she could work with going forward and like who cares if I don't like your best friend!!!

I also need to talk to Julia a lot today too but I’m like trying to wait for a time to message her that’s not like immediately in the morning aka like right now so it doesn’t feel like i rushed to say hi to her just to make my rounds, but do it at a more later part in the day to make it seem a little more relaxed and less like it was a plan to message people first thing in the morning.

Mitch and I had a really good convo last night I think. I mean we talked about candles and his love for them and the normal stuff that I couldn’t be less interested in but a binch needs numbers so you gotta do what you gotta do.

Matt Summers posed on for a quick second and replied to my hello from 10 in the AM. He replied and said hey what’s up and then never answered the message I sent to him immediately after which like ok,,,,, i just hope this is how he’s being with everyone else because if so we sure do love an easy first boot!!!! It also gives me time to really since my fangs into these people and find me some numbers!! (lady vamp)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnPSVP08-w

I just wanted to say that the GAME SO FAR IS LIT!!!! I LOVE ALL THE NEW FRIENDS I'M MAKING!!!

Y'all........

Listen I am just here to live a good life as a strong Christian woman, I don't need any attention, and what kind of hell has come down for me...

Like was casting me and Eddie in the same season payback for casting Amanda, Emily, and Francie together?????? WE BOTH HAVE GOTDAMN MONGOLIA HOST IN OUR NAME???? And you bring in Ben, who Eddie JUST fought with in the Mongo VL, Autumn who is basically his bestie these days...Like if you wanted a bitch to get 20th, you could've at least reached out for All Stars so I could have spared Karen!!!

Like okay listen, I love Eddie like a brother I sometimes flirt with too much and then have to hide from for a month. If we can get past day 6, we could do some great things in this game. I think we're finally ready for that experience. But jesus fuck if those 6 days aren't gonna be tough as fuck...

Highkey do you know what my ass needs??? A SWAP! GET ME WITH THE MENINIST ZWOOPER BOYS. GET ME TO MY JAKE P AND EVERYTHING WILL BE RIGHT WITH THE WORLD, LITTLE BOSTONIAN MUFFIN OF LOVE. TAKE ME AWAY TO SHOIB, WHOSE NAME IS ACTUALLY SPELLED LIKE THAT. AND DEAR SWEET POCKET ROCKET, WHOSE NAME IS AS RHYTHMIC AS IT IS RAUNCHY, IDK YOU BOO BUT WE CAN STILL SQUAD UP. Like I need access to allies people aren't going to know I have. Eddie? Too obvious. Mitchy? Too obvious. Jacob? Slightly less obvious but the boy won't keep it a secret. Rebecka? It's an option??? But she shady as fuck. Matt Summers? I already tried giving my heart to him once, and he ate it. Julia? Lowest of keys one of the better options I have, I'll take the witch, I'm down to clown, but also gotta watch out for that Crossroads connection to Autumn, which is also a through-connection to Ben, so we're in for a clusterfuck of love. (that's all I can think of right now, and if I haven't named you yet, you're probably too irrelevant to consider) (I just checked and the only person I didn't name is Mo, so I stand by the irrelevancy statement)

So if we can't trust in allies, we have to trust in that patented Drewcifer challenge strength! Just get me to a damn swap, I will do all of these ridiculous tasks, and lip sync to Paparazzi of all fucking things, and dress like Jeff Probst (which was actually just my normal workwear with an ugly baseball cap so now I feel gross), just get me to the next round and we can build from there.

I feel guilty because this is how I act in like a group project at school like pretending I'm helping by little comments but in reality I'm just sitting there because I don't know what I'm doing nor do I have access to stuff that can help. Nobody has messaged me about an alliance yet, so that's fun, I still think I'm getting first boot if we lose this challenge which is why I'm grasping at straws to try to help. I counted how many points we had and told everyone the total like "look I'm being helpful" so people will think "oh he's in it to win it guys" 

First of all this is adorable http://prntscr.com/idx4yh Second of all HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO VOTE ANYONE OUT??? ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE AMAZING????

https://youtu.be/tD1HjZTlqE0

Me looking for results like:

it isn’t fair we lost after all the work we put into the challenge but that’s the game i guess now we just have to survive a tribal and first vote is the worst 

Respect to the other team for coming so close, their efforts were admiradorable.

Pretends to be shocked that we lost. If only everyone did a lipsync. Smh but you cant force people do to things they dont want to I giess but special accomidations were even made to where they had privacy. Anyways Im bonding more I hope aleast with people but this should be an easy vote.

What an emotional rollarcoaster. Where is my tea? Slightly pissed at the people who didn’t do the lipsync. We could have won. Oh well this means rebecka is safe so maybe it’s worth it. Who knows what could have happened. We shall see who gets voted out but I’m thinking it’s someone who didn’t do anything TimIm feeling extremely sick about the loss in hindsight. All that effort just thrown down the drain? It feels extremely terrible and is definitely a shot to the heart. 

Sorry im confessing again fjsksks but this is the mood after the first results: the third one is me being upset at [redacted] https://confsnavarino.tumblr.com/post/170818412711/moodboard-after-the-loss

I forgot to confess this but like... im convinced my tribe mate is a model. https://confsnavarino.tumblr.com/post/170818459861 BLEASE

I'm feeling... ANNOYED. I know I participated a lot to that challenge and I had fun doing it! So even though it didn't result in a win I do NOT regret taking flour to the face or shanking three balloons or any of the other crazy stuff I did. With that being said we COULD have won this challenge if everyone pulled their weight. Four people didn't lip sync. If those four people had taken the five minutes required to make a half-decent lip sync video we would have beaten the fans by ONE point. The four flops are Shoib, Tee, Trixie, Katherine. Tee and Trixie did a lot of photos and seem pretty cool, so they are off the table. That leaves Shoib and Katherine. Shoib is in my Zwooper alliance of four so I have to cover for him... which is really unfair. If he wasn't a number for me I would not at all be opposed to voting him off for this. He really let the tribe down and contributed a whopping TWO things to the entire list. I used his rule-reading video as leverage while trying to point out who contributed more between Katherine and him. Most people seem to kind of agree that Katherine didn't do much, doesn't talk much, and isn't an asset to the team. Hopefully, we can just trim the fat and send her packing. 

I plan on getting the vote on Kathy because I feel like she contributed the least amount to the comp and I haven't talked to her much.

Whelp, Guess who lost the challenge. HEHEHE I wanna cry. I put so much into scavenger hunts, but the faves got the immunity. However there were definitely some people who didn't contribute so I feel they should def go first. but here are some impressions

Tim: I love him with all my heart and might actually be able to work with him, which is litty. Vi: She tried in the challenge and I really like that. I get good vibes from her, so hopefully I can get to working with her Tee: Her picture is gorgeous and she seems very sweet. I get REALLY good vibes from her and really want to Tyler: He is very cool and said he admires my contributions to the challenge and would like to work with me going further into the game Pocket: He looks like my cousin and Jesus. He seems chill. Not too active but not too inactive. And he sings and acts so I love Trixie: Haven't exactly talked to her much yet, hopefully chill. Kathy: The 2 games I'm in with her shes inactive. Ill try talking to her again Jake: I love Jake. I love Jake. I love Jake. I love Jake. I LOVE JAKE. That is all Shoib: He came off too strong for me, but he genuinely seems nice. Someone make me stop liking people. Its bad for my game and I will prob cry if someone backstabs me

I'm disappointed in my boy Shoib's contribution this challenge but Katherine is the ghost around camp and my theory is she is jealous of my body hair and for this reason shes too overwhelmed to compete. C'est La Vie.

When I saw that we lost I was Wouldiwas Shookspeared that we could've one is everyone lip synced 

Hi all!! Rebecka here!! Running 20 mins late to my psychiatrist appointment so what better a time than to confess about this game??? Ok so first off this cast WHEW!!! I love autumn and would love to work with her but every time we try to work together in a game it's like cursed so here's hoping third times the charm??? Julia the witch is cool af I hope we can work well together after I voted her out in crossroads!! Lol!!!!!! I hosted circle with drew this past season and he hasn't said much to me/I'm pretty sure he's hated me since day 1 which idk why Bc he's never said anything about it but I just have social anxiety and I feel like he doesn't like me!! Idk here's hoping. He approached me asking if I'd wanna secretly work with him which I'd be incredibly down for because I'd love to work with drew but I just hope he's not fucking with me!! I'm unsure how I feel about Jacob Albright Bc we've met before but I feel strange vibes from him too. MITCH IS MY ONE TRUE LOV AND I BETTER BE ABLE TO WORK WITH HIM IN THIS GAME BECAUSE I LOV HIM???????????? That's how I feel about that. Love him. He slay my life. Idk the other ppl in the game but Eddie seems nice and has been messaging me.   I AM glad we won the scavenger hunt Bc I honestly don't know how a tribal week 1 would've gone down. Lastly I'm just still confused as to how I got picked as a fav but I'll roll with it!!! Ok ya!! Xoxo gossip Beckka 

https://youtu.be/MaPWQeclcOM

[This confessional is for before the immunity results, basically the first two days of the game)

Ahhh yes, time for my 2nd org. Last time I placed 2nd and this time I'm coming for the crown. 

Being on a fan's tribe is kind of intimidating, just because I think that all the players on the favorite's tribe are more experienced than us which could be an advantage. 

So let me just give a quick rundown of the cast. 

I actually know Tyler, Pocket, and Shoib from Zwooper. When we got added to tribes, Pocket & Shoib added me to a chat with them and were like "Zwooper Alliance!" And I was like umm, Tyler is from Zwooper too? Lol. They wanted to create a separate chat with him, so I don't think they trust him. I definitely trust Tyler the most though, we've been friends for a while.

As for everyone else on our tribe, I've talked to Tim and Trixie a bit, and they both like Nintendo so I like them! Heather seems cool too. I talked to Tee for a while as well, but the conversation doesn't feel that exciting. I haven't talked to Katherine or Vi much.

I am worried about the Faves tribe because Autumn, Julia, and Rebecka are there from crossroads. I backstabbed Julia and Rebecka in that game, oops. And I feel like they might form a tight alliance because Autumn told me that her and Rebecka wanted to be secret allies in crossroads, and I know that Julia and Rebecka got stoned every night in Ponderosa so they're def close. 

However, Drew is on the Faves tribe and he is a good friend of mind. He wanted me to play this game with him before we got cast so I think he would be loyal to me if we ended up on a tribe later on. 

Sooo we just lost the challenge, great. And we would've won if these people just did a FUCKING LIP SYNC! How hard is it to fake sing for 3 minutes?? Gtfo. Tyler is GUNG HO on getting someone who didn't lip sync out, and he brought up Katherine's name. And I'm fine with that. We barely talked Day 1 and she hasn't said a word to me in two days. Her name is going around because others are bringing her up to me. I feel like this vote should be more intense since the first vote for crossroads was, but then again that was a starting tribe of 6 and this is a starting tribe of 10, so maybe people are just focusing on challenge threats rn. Either way, I just hope my name isn't going around. That's all I care about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6mVJIKDIBQ

sooooo im gonna let yall know whats good with the admirador tribe. so first of all i think i only know three of them BUT i like them. so first they have jake. i love jake price!!!! but like we kinda went against each other in crossroads but we became really good friends after and we got a streak! but honestly if i swap, i want jake on a tribe. i would DEF love to work with him. next they have trixie who i LOVE. she is a feminist and we have worked together and i see it happening here. im just afraid of her and jake being a mess tbh. and than there is shoib. i love shoib but the child has a MOUTH on him. so he is also pretty freaking messy like omfg. its exhausting girllllll! but if i swapped it would be ideal to have them all on a tribe of mine because we could all kick it together. the rest of them I honestly have no clue about like y'all really scouted for them. but hopefully shoib jake and trixie live after this tribal bc i really wanna work with them. but lowkey wouldnt care if admirador kept flopping lol! 

http://youtu.be/xiJFcgShj1A Woo?

So far everyone has been telling me Kathy, which I am fine with. Just means an easy round for me and gives me time to take a well needed nap :)

So miss katherine decides to show up and talk after we lost.LMAO. Sorry but you're a couple days late. Also Pocket joined the club pf falling from the mountain and i love it. I just wonder how far he got up it... Time to vote katherine out.

OMG Heather fell too. PS: Im a smart cookie. I discovered that  if you fall you only fall by two levels therefore all the paths on level 1 and two are safe wig. I also know to avoid number 3 on levels 3 and 4 but im gonna pick it once I get to level 5! Also thanks Heather and Pocket for confirming this.

D*UCK Heather found out you only fall by 2 levels just as i confessed. Well I guess that info was inevitable to discover.

After tonight we will have 9 tribe members in the chat,which will feel different because, i guess it won't because Katherine doesn't say anything :S oh wait she complimented my beard.

im going to be second boot

Im getting weird vibes about this tribal.

Pre-season cast assessment! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWtdLG4Hquo&feature=youtu.be

[milquetoast-on-acid]

The Shame Game, A Reactionary Post

Major Crimes, S1xE7: Episode Review

What this episode is about: Being monitored The Interrogation of Charles Alvarez Provenza + Shade Backstory: Buzz Watson That thing about lying // Catching John Jacob (Jingle Himmer Schmidt) in the Act // Andy Who are you really? // John Jacob (Jingle Himmer Schmidt) Feldmen // Daniel Dunn // Rusty's Real Parents (Sharon + Andy) vs Rusty's Biological Father // Sharon Interrogates Daniel Dunn Sharon and Provenza Sharon and Rusty; Running away Rusty gives Daniel one really good look in the eye

"I hate being monitored this way." Sharon getting a taste of what she had to do to the MC squad while she was in IA. Although to be fair to Sharon, she didn't actually want to be there and told Pope that her audit was done way before he wanted to take her off of hovering over MC. 

I still don’t understand what the whole point in John watching the whole thing. Other than to have the actual killer in their midst. I mean I totally understand why Taylor agreed to it because the senator gives tons of money to the LAPD and there's nothing more that Taylor seems to love is media attention and money for the LAPD.

The Interrogation of Charles Alvarez I fucking love Andy's interrogation of Charles Alvarez. Andy plays asshole cop to the asshole pimp and I'm eating it up. I don't think I've gotten this much enjoyment out of an interrogation so far this season. I love his comment when he swabs Alvarez. "Just checking if you're human." Knowing this guy has exploited women and that this is the guy that the officer rated as an asshole on his scorecard. Andy has no qualms about handling him with any kind of sensitivity. 

Provenza + Shade The dude gives some serious shade in this episode and I freaking love it. First he shuts the door on Taylor's face. And then we get Taylor trying to push back in glaring at Sharon through the window. At this point Taylor is almost pure asshole but you have to love the way Robert Gosset plays him. He's like the most annoying guy who you can't ignore because he's your boss. Although that doesn't stop Provenza from shutting the door on his face.

What does the circle with the dot mean? "Means that in the professional opinion of the officer conducting the interview Mr Alvarez was an asshole." I wonder if that's real code. If so I love it!

Plus this moment gave me an excuse to make a gif with Provenza saying asshole.

Backstory: Buzz Watson We are reminded again that Buzz speaks Spanish. And I've always loved that character detail of Buzz's.

That thing about lying

There is a shit load of lying going on this episode. John Jacob lies about his rank in the military. Then the witness lies about speaking English. Then Andy lies about lying.

Catching John Jacob (Jingle Himmer Schmidt) in the Act The way the squad catches Jacob is with a lie. The witness lies about seeing John at the crime scene. 

So they build up the ending to their case by (literally) trapping Jacob in a lie. The way it's filmed gives a claustrophobic feeling and the voices of the cast do this odd reverb thing. As a way for us to get inside Jacobs head. I think it's done rather effectively except for the climax of the scene. The guy clearly has a temper, but he's methodical. I rather expected him to snap right there and then and going out swinging. Instead he just...collapses on the floor.

I’m Like...

...!?

Andy

Who are you really?

John Jacob (Jingle Himmer Schmidt) Feldman The reason why John killed the victim is because he was blackmailing him. John got caught lying about his military background. 

Daniel Dunn Just like Feldman, Sharon is skeptical of both men and keeps them at arms length. Sharon suspects that there is a reason why Daniel hasn't left MC until he talks to Rusty. Provenza eventually gets it out of him - that he's engaged and wants to get a good handle on Rusty before he tells his fiance. Sharon doesn't know (truly know) who both men are. Both of them start off rather non threatening - and slowly we start to learn more and more about who they really are. 

Rusty's Real Parents vs Rusty's Biological Father Cynthia sees Daniel Dunn as a great thing for Rusty. A possible family that could take him in permanently. However, the real reason that Sharon is stalling so much is that she's already completely attached to him. Yes, Sharon is being protective with Rusty but the real reason is that she doesn't want to give him up. Though in the end if Daniel Dunn had turned out to be a saint she would have reluctantly let Rusty go. 

I've always thought it interesting (and deliberate) that Andy is the one with Sharon when Cynthia brings Daniel Dunn. Since Andy is Sharon's right hand, and also the person that Sharon goes to with personal stuff. Not only that but there are undertones of Andy as Rusty's father figure. 

Andy is 100% behind Sharon, backing her up and also making excellent points about Rusty's situation. I think seeing how upset Sharon was at Rusty running away from him, made him realize just how much she cares for the boy. I also love that it's Andy that stalls Rusty from going into the break room. He doesn't necessarily lie to him, either. He says: There's a sensitive family issue going on in the break room. Which is true.

He didn't have to tell Rusty anything. He could have let Sharon tell Rusty that. But I love that it's Andy that does it because this says to Sharon that he will take some of that emotional burden off of her. Even if she's not aware of it as of yet. She doesn't have to go it alone. Even though it's something so completely small as stalling Rusty. It's hugely important. 

I wonder if Sharon thinks this is what co-parenting is. Because at this point Sharon didn't have even this (or possibly much of this) when her kids were young. Or maybe it didn't even occur to her that she was co-parenting Rusty with Andy. I also love that not only is Andy backing her but also the two of them are really in sync here. They are on the same wavelength and while we have seen the two of them agree with each other. We haven't yet seen the two of them be so much of one mind until now. They play off of each other so well here.

The clearest example of this is this part of the conversation: Andy: "If he turns out to be Rusty's Father." Cynthia: "Lieutenant, Mr Dunn's DNA has already shown a connection ---" Sharon: "No, no no no. Mr Dunn's brother's DNA has proven to be a near match." Andy: "A near match, what if there is another brother out there."

Sharon Interrogates Daniel Dunn Sharon does her best to remain objective but of course that's not possible when she's so completely attached to Rusty. She is doing her best to remain open, on how she feels about him. And at this point she doesn't know him at all, so she's really skeptical on whether or not she can trust Daniel to have Rusty's best interests.

I love when Tao comes in to swab Daniel's cheek. Daniel asks Mike if it hurts and Mike says: "Not usually." Sharon has this huge smile on her face that I never noticed before and she later wipes off quite quickly when Daniel turns his face back towards her. Even though she hates the thought of losing Rusty to this guy she's really skeptical about, she's getting some enjoyment out of him being poked and podded.

Sharon and Provenza When it comes to both Sharon and Brenda. Provenza is the objective party. He's the realistic that can see the forest through trees (not always mind you but certain things) and tells both of his boss' when they need to have the hard conversations. Provenza did this with Brenda when it was obvious that David and Irene were not getting along anymore. And now he's doing it here with Sharon putting off telling Rusty about Daniel. To me this marks a turn in their personal relationship. 

Not only that but the scene in which Sharon finally breaks the news to Rusty. Provenza is the one to stick up for her. I love how he tells it like it's straight. You know I don't like Sharon, but even I can see how much she truly cares about you. 

Again this is something that stands out to me in terms of the type of person that Sharon is verse the type of person that Brenda is. Brenda never wanted to face the difficult problems that she was going through. If it was too much, she did her best to ignore it and hoped that it would go away. Like the lawsuit, like the leak. And As I mentioned earlier, Provenza tells Brenda that she needs to have a talk with David and Irene about their behavior towards each other. She puts him off and then never ends up talking to them.

Provenza tells Sharon she can't put off not telling Rusty about Daniel anymore. She does and Rusty explodes. Sharon will and can have the difficult conversations.

I love how Sharon gets Provenza to ask Daniel stuff that she can't ask him. And then she gives him this look. And it doesn't take much for her to get him to ask the guy a bunch of person stuff. Because Provenza has formed an attachment to Rusty as well. 

Sharon and Rusty; Running away After Rusty calms is ass down and realizes what an ass he was. He starts to think about the situation. And freaks out some more but much quieter this time. Rusty is scared that Daniel won't like him once he knows the truth about his past. Rusty is so afraid and ashamed of his past that he tells Sharon that it makes him want to run away. I love Sharon's advice to him. She tells him that what he really wants to run away is from himself. And just because you change your hair, your clothes and where you live. It won't change those emotions inside of you. It feels a bit like Sharon is speaking from her own personal experience. While both characters personalities are so very different - the two of them (at their emotional core) have a lot in common. I think at one point (or probably many times) in Sharon's relationship with Jack. She wanted to run from the things she was feeling. There's no doubt. 

I also love that Rusty tells Sharon what she means to him. And that he was just scared and lashing out at her because she was an easy target. Not because he actually thought that she would be so glad to get rid of him. It's a really great Sharon/Rusty moment and what really makes their relationship so special and such a highlight in the first season. 

Rusty gives Daniel one really good look in the eye

I love this scene and it's filmed so beautifully. No dialog. Rusty and Daniel seeing the other for the first time. And then Rusty's instinct takes over and he runs away. I remember the first time I saw it, that scene just bowled me over. And I knew I had to watch the next episode right away. I think I was completely sucked in at that point.

What I didn't like: That lack luster climax.

What I did like: I really enjoyed this episode. I think it's one of the more emotional episodes of the first season. We get a lot of great Sharon/Rusty, Sharon/Andy and Sharon/Provenza stuff. The three of them (Sharon/Andy/Provenza) are all finally on the same team when it comes to Rusty.  

[kfdirector]

Student Awareness of Nonstandard Danger Society

    The chicken sandwiches just really weren’t getting any better, Niewitzski decided as he sat at his desk, giving his meal a dejected look.  The temperature - worse today as he’d taken the thing back to room 203 for a very late lunch rather than eat in the cafeteria - was part of the problem but really, there were just a whole assortment of disappointments baked, or perhaps flash-frozen, into it.  He glanced upwards at the sound of approaching footsteps.  He had taken a late lunch here specifically to get some time inside his own head, and yet some people could not be deterred.

    The boys who had rushed him his first day loomed over his desk, their arms folded.  “What is even your deal, Mister Niewitzski?”

    Checking their identities on last year’s pictures had helped.  Asking for pointers from experienced teachers had helped more.  Niewitzski stared hard right back at the boys.  “Jack.  Kevin.  Do you have any specific complaints for me?”

    “I’ll say!”  The blond one, Kevin, waved his hand in the air.  “What kind of example are you setting for us, two-timing between Miss Early and a lady cop?  I’m definitely scandalized.  You, bro?”

    “Like you wouldn’t fucking believe,” the freckled one, Jack, replied.  “Scandalized as shit.  And then bear-wrestling.  What kind of role model is this?  This is our replacement for Mister Wales - a two-timing bear wrestler?”

    Niewitzski stood up and shook his head sadly.  “Language, guys.”  He reached out and set one hand on each of their shoulders.  “And I can’t believe a couple of savvy Millennials like you guys can’t recognize viral marketing when you see it.”

    The expression on their faces told Niewitzski he had the initiative.

    “In case you didn’t hear, I’ve been running the Student Awareness of Nonstandard Danger Society for the last few weeks, and that was our first official outing: a clear demonstration of the threats that face the community that people never think about.  You suburbanites are spoiled; you never worry about dirty cops like people from the city do, and you never worry about getting mauled by bears like people from the country do, and you never worry about crazy mutant bears like people from Rocky Flats do.”  He glanced at them, to see if they had the reference; they didn’t seem to.  “Before your time?  Just as well. Three threats no one here ever considered, and now they’re all you’re talking about.  Now, with my expertise in marketing, and my aristocratic title, you may be asking yourself, ‘why is this guy a teacher’?  And the answer is more or less noblesse oblige.  Same reason I didn’t have you guys suspended for your little incident when I got here.”

    They blinked.  Jack raised a hand, palm out - “Hey - hey!  Nah, you can’t hang that over our heads! We already made that up to you.”

    Niewitzski raised a skeptical eyebrow.  “Did you now?”

    “Yeah!  We - oh, shit, we forgot to tell you about that.”

    “Language.”     “Uh, yeah, after you suplexed Buddy - ”

    “That wasn’t really what I’d call a - ”

    “ - we went around to all the classes that were in session at that time facing the courtyard, and confiscated cell phones.  Deleted all the footage.”

    Niewitzski’s eyebrow remained in place.  Kevin felt the need to elaborate: “...and made copies.  But they’re in a safe place!  On my brother’s computer.  He’s going to make a supercut of the best footage and sync it up to some sweet technobeats.  We have a plan to go viral ourselves.”

    Niewitzski folded his arms.  “Guys, I would be...touched, and I emphasize that as being strictly figurative given the problems this school has had lately, that you would commit all kinds of crimes on my behalf.  But I’m actually not seeing how this counts as making it up to me, at all.”

    “Oh, uh.”  Jack thought about this.  “Well, instead of potentially getting blackmailed by, like, a hundred people, now it’s just us.  And we don’t even have you in class so our demands are going to be pretty straightforward just as soon as we think of any.”

    “Oh!”  Kevin snapped his fingers.  “Like, for instance, telling us what’s going on with you and so on.  You and the cop, I get why you’re interested, you and Miss Early, I get why she’s interested - ”

    Niewitzski said nothing.  The pair of hands grabbing the boys’ shoulders from behind should have said enough.

    “Meaning what, exactly, boys?”  Miss Early asked.

    “Just that she’s, y’know, she obviously likes her food and - oh fuck.”  It took Kevin a few seconds too long to realize that the interruption had been spoken from behind and not from in front.

    She leaned forward, going from hands on shoulders to arms around shoulders.  “Got a hall pass, boys? No?  I was just going to tell y’all to get back to class so I could have words with Mister Niewitzski, but now I’m thinkin’...hmm, two days’ detention for disrespect, two more for skipping class, the rest of the semester for blackmailin’ a teacher.  That seem fair to y’all?  Or should we run the charges by Jibrail instead?  I think he misses the days when nuns just had people lashed to a post and flogged.”

    Niewitzski smirked, picking up his pad and pen.  “Let it not be said that I am not a merciful Lord.”  He scritched out an incomprehensible note on a hall pass and tore it off.  “Show the proper respect and it’s yours, kids.”

    “Uh,” Jack said, eruditely.  “We, uh, thank you gratefully for your mercy, Your Lordship, uh, Baron Niewitzski.”

    He rolled his eyes.  “To her.”

    She rolled hers.  “Skip it. I don’t need to hear a couple of teenage boys backpedalling right now.  Go on, get.”

    Sara waited until both were gone, and then closed the classroom door and turned the lock.  Jacob raised an eyebrow.

    She mirrored the expression.  “You know what I’m here about,” she said.

    He shrugged helplessly.  “I really did not have any say in what happened.  She damn near knocked me out first.”

    “Oh, for the love of Pete - ”  She facepalmed and shook her head.  “Despite the rumors I do nothing to stop and maybe do a little to help spread, you and I ain’t actually dating.  It ain’t my business which childhood friends of yours you still have a thing for.”

    “One, it’s her that still has a thing for me,” Jacob lied, “and two, I’m concerned how you know that about my background, because I never went into that kind of detail about her with you.”

    “Put a pin in it, Jacob.  I’m asking about the bear.”

    He shrugged and looked upward, pulling on a sheepish face.  “I’ll tell you what I told Heren and Jibrail this morning.  There was no bear.”

    “Yeah, but then keep going and tell the rest of the truth, instead of lying Jesuit-style.  If there wasn’t a bear, what was there?”

    Jacob coughed and cleared his throat, and then frowned.  “You seem really committed to not believing that this was a publicity stunt.”

    She stepped close to him, eyes staring hard up into his own, and poked a strong finger into his chest.  “You are acting like a guy who just recently figured out that the world is a weird-ass place.  I recognize the pattern.  What have you been up to?”

    “Uh,” he replied, thoughtfully, and took a step back.  She followed.

    “Mysterious injuries, rushing off in a hurry to places, being incredibly nosy, incredibly guarded in conversation, being in odd places at odd hours - ”

    He was backed all the way into his desk.  “Which one of us are you talking about just now?”  She pressed forward, herself standing against the desk and him having to just about sit on it to get any personal space back.  “Because that sounds more like your profile than mine, Miss ‘It’s Not Important Why I Was On the Roof’.”

    She didn’t blink.  “Are you my enemy?”

    “Are you mine?  And who has enemies, unless they’re..."  The bell rang. Niewitzski glanced at the clock, and then back at her.  “The SANDS will be here in a minute tops.  You want to finish this conversation in front of them, or later?”

    She reached forward, grabbed his necktie with one hand, and pulled at him.  He leaned forward without much say in the matter, giving a quick gag as she reached forward with her other hand and undid half a dozen of his shirt buttons.  Another flash of her hands, and she loosened his tie and then pulled him to tumble forward off the desk.

    “Oww,” he muttered into the carpet.

    “Hurry and clean up, Jake, your kids are here,” he heard her say, near the door of the classroom, as he pushed himself up.  He climbed to his feet to the sounds of her voice in the hallway “Oh, sorry, was that locked?  Yeah, go on in.”

    Stella poked her head around the corner as Niewitzski, flushed face, quickly did his shirt back up.

    The two of them managed to say “Not what it looks like” and “Not my business” in stereo.

    “And even if you don’t believe it’s not what it looks like, can you at least not tell Tracey?” Niewitzski added, straightening his tie.

    Stella frowned.  “Shouldn’t make that promise, sir.  Gossip is definitely my number one sin.”

    “Thus you telling half the school I fought a bear and made out with a cop - thanks, by the way - but really?  Number one?  Would have guessed pride.”

    “I can have more than one in first place if they’re tied.  But yeah, Tracey’s almost definitely going to find out, sorry.  Knowing my track record, I’ll probably even embellish the details a bit.”

    “Then can you at least lean on your freshman to stop using real people’s names?”

    “To stop what now?” was Craig’s question, as he walked into the room, just in front of the others.

    Niewitzski decided to change the subject.  “To stop these monsters, obviously.  What have we learned, SANDS?”

    Tracey and Craig looked at each other, and then at Niewitzski.  Tracey cleared her throat.  “Umm, we got a lot of data in general, Mister Niewitzski, but...it’s not clear what any of it means yet.”

    Craig looked more chipper.  “But we’ve got a lot of cross-referencing and analysis and otherwise applying of the scientific method to do yet, sir!”

    Their teacher nodded.  “What would help?”

    The boy sighed.  “Well, kind of...one more monster to analyze, sir.”

    “Ah.  Yeah.”  That made sense to Niewitzski.  To understand what was special about what was seen rather than just random environmental flukes, compare to a second set of data from a different monster attack.  But that would mean: “So, we’re helpless until another attack?  I don’t know that I like - I mean, I know I don’t like that.”

    “Coach, none of us like it!” Stella shouted.

    “Hold on.  Stella, I’m sorry, ‘Coach’ is exclusively for Joe’s use, because he’s the only one who’s not a lunatic.”

    “Then I shall return to sir, sir, unless I feel you no longer deserve it, at which case I might call you shithead, sir!  But anyway, none of us like it!”  There was an edge in her voice that said she had a plan. That worried Niewitzski even more than the lack of plan from a few seconds ago did.  He sighed, and motioned for her to proceed.  “Freshman Reubens has devised a simple device that will permit us 24/7 coverage of the police scanner!  Nothing shall escape our notice!”  She held up some repurposed digital music players, with flesh-colored earpieces - varying tones matched to the varying fleshes of the SANDS.

    “So, while you’re all supposed to be studying and paying attention in class, you’ll be wearing an earpiece that’s piping in police frequencies.  And no one is going to notice this?”

    “Sir, you will need to wear one as well while teaching, sir!”

    He argued.

    And ultimately, of course, he surrendered.