#Ethan is like a feral tiny kitten

[nade2308]

"Get that son of a bitch."

@thethistlegirl @malewifebillcage

[lillian-nator]

Ranch AU

Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 

Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)

I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!

BASIC INFO: 

It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)

Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.

Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands

George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.

Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot

Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.

Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own

Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.

Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.

Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)

Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.

Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.

Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.

SOME HEADCANNONS: 

HENRY, a saga:

that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -

when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.

He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.

The cows are Tommy's everything.

When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.

When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.

Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.

Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -

Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye

Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -

Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -

Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.

It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -

They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.

He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -

Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye

Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.

Clementine, The Goose: 

Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 

He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 

Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 

Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 

Phil doesn’t question it at this point 

NEW MILO, the sequel:

OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.

Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan

Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan

Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan

BLOOD GOD, the pussy:

Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -

After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.

He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing

He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her

Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God

Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.

Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -

Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser

She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear

Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.

She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.

She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan

TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:

He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -

Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -

Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again

he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -

Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg

Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler

Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore

Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one

"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -

the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.

Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -

They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay

AGES: 

Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17

Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit

Fundy - 18 Niki - 19

SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20

RANDOM HC’S: 

Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -

Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 

They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them

...they don’t do it when they eat beef

Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -

Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.

Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)

Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.

Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -

Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -

Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".

Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.

ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -

Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -

Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M

[urlocalbunny]

.stockings - Ivan.

Hey! Here i am again! this new scenario, as always, isn’t proofread lol.

warnings: PWP just like Ethan’s medical play honestly, i wanted it to be dumb. 

1.208 words. Enjoy!

Ever since the accident they had where he managed to hold her through the window on her first day in the manor, he was always staring at her body to see if she would be okay. Even with his sick thirst, he kept checking on her. He didn't mean to hurt her. She was so delicate, so pure. So pure that she even forgave him, and when she caught him burnt in the parlor, she cut her wrist and gave him blood to help him heal.

However, Eloise had a flaw in Ivan's opinion. She wore stockings too much. And she didn't have some ordinary thighs. For once, he agreed with Beliath: they were simply delicious.

Sometimes they wouldn't even fit. The usually tiny skirt would ride up, and the vampire would see the girl's legs marked with the patterns of the choice of the day. They were too tight. Ivan felt bad for Eloise, who would be so happy to see him up on his feet and controlling himself. She even stayed up at night when the vampire started to train and was his biggest supporter when he began to feed more because he got used to blood. She should have freaked out. 

After turning, he found something different. He was more feral when it came to his wishes. It was harder to keep his distance. He was thinking about sucking Eloise off and feeling the stockings around this face, hearing the tiny whimpers, the way she would ride his tongue. 

"Ivan? Are you even listening to me?" She asked, whacking the broom on the wall to make some noise. "I said this wall looks ugly. Let's paint it."

"We should, but not this week. I'm fucking exhausted, and that's because I fed yesterday." He said, laying down on the ground. 

"Training must be hard for you, right?" She sat down, her big eyes looking at him. Her panties were showing. 

"Umm, Elo... You might want to close your legs." 

"Why is that?" she said without paying attention. 

"Your... Well, I can see a lot from over here." He said, looking up.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Eloise giggled, resuming the subject.

Except for Ivan that kept going back to the cute panties. Just the shape under it drove him crazy. Eloise was so fucking hot, but he wouldn't do anything to her. She was too innocent. 

And yet, everything went downhill when Beliath was lying on his bed thinking the same and decided to do the exact opposite.

"My darling, you know I could make you feel great too."

"I didn't say I disagree. I just said the food is great, and I don't want to eat cold food." 

"It's not going to take even ten minutes. Women can cum in..." 

Ivan stood up, hissing in a way he didn't think vampires could until now. 

"You. You shut up." Beliath got surprised for a second, but then he laughed.

"What makes you think that she needs your help?"

"Certainly not the same thing that makes you think she needs yours. Now get out of her face." 

Beliath opened his mouth, but Eloise was already being carried away by Ivan from her macaroni and cheese.

He was fast. The girl noticed when the second flight of stairs was long gone. Then she was in a dark room, probably Ivan's, and there was ragged breathing on her temple.

"He's even managed to make you smell like him," he growled, dragging his nose against her hair while holding onto her waist. "You smelled like me before. It suits you."

"Ivan, what are you talking about?" 

"Tell me you want me to stop." He said, his mouth barely a few inches from hers. 

"I... In fact, I don't want you to stop, but this is going a little too fast." His head then lowered, reaching for her cheek instead. 

"You make me so fucking hungry, Elo." He whined, softening the grip on her waist and caressing it. "I love every single curve in you, and those tiny skirts you wear too, and-" 

Eloise's kiss was unexpected by Ivan. She just wanted him to stop fucking talking, or she would combust. He pushed her up, making her wrap her legs around his waist. He groaned something that looked like "Fuck yes," but her mind was starting to get hazy. He was so eager. 

They didn't talk much. Ivan's hands snapped her stockings, pulling her into the bed and doing just what he wanted to.

Her head rolled back when he kissed her collarbones tenderly, holding her against his lap and pushing her to grind against his crotch. Her hands found his pants button, but he dismissed it with a small push, laying her on top of the bed.

"Forget about me. Just take this off." the man ordered, pulling on her shirt. She complied, showing him her breasts. "Shit, you don't even wear a bra?" he chuckled at her reddening face. "You are so cute." 

They finished undressing her, but then the girl reached for the stockings, making Ivan squeeze her thigh. "No, these are staying. Now be a good girl and sit on my face, yes?" 

Her face was red, but she straddled his head. 

"I-I'm ready when you are," she said slowly.

"Then you're good to go." He pulled her down, lapping up a stripe eagerly. "Hm, you taste fucking good." 

After that, he didn't say anything else. It was just them, the way his tongue darted out and went back in sync with his rutting against the air, and the way he would come back to her clit and suck hard, making her keen. His hands never left her stockings, the fingers usually inside the hem, scratching her legs, teasing her. Soon, she couldn't take it anymore and undid his pants while bending forward, pulling his cock out, and pumping it a few times.

She smiled. Her friend was hard. This sight made her swing her hips softly. He moaned against her sopping pussy, thrusting against her hand. She licked a stripe against the head, putting it in her mouth. The precum leaked a lot. He must have been daydreaming about this.

Eloise bobbed her head up and down as he sucked hard on her bud, moaning in a needy tone. Her approval egged him on, she observed.

She was close to cumming, but Ivan pushed her off, stripping off his shirt and rolling his pants down. 

"Fuck that. I'm filling you up." He said, pushing his dick in and thrusting with no time to adjust to his girth. She gritted her teeth, groaning.

"Harder, harder!" she moaned. 

"That's right. Let them know who's making you feel good, kitten."

"S-stop talking!"

"What, is my little pet embarrassed?" he chuckled.

Embarrassment and the feeling of him slapping against her roughly and the way he would even pinch her thighs while he sucked on her nipples made her lock-up, cumming for all her pussy was worth around him.

"Fuck yeah, kitten!" He moaned loudly, cumming inside of her.

Their panting turned into laughter.

"I wanted to do this for so long," she confessed airily. "But do you know what I want now?" he hummed, grinning at her.

"My fucking mac n' cheese!"

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Backstories for my Sanders Sides Pets AU

Warnings: Mentions of Death, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Neglect, Mentions of Abandonment, Mentions of Selective Dog Breeding, i think that’s all but let me know if i should add any others.

Roman

Roman was Thomas’ first pet. Thomas adopted him from a pet shelter his friend, Joan visited to get food for their ferret, Elliot.

Roman was the only surviving puppy of the litter and was going to be euthanized since all his siblings were stillborn and his mother died during her childbirth. His mother was a show dog that was force-breeded to make ‘perfect puppies’ (sadly, the litter Roman was in was her first and only litter).

Joan saved him and took him home and made sure he was well taken care of and very much loved and cared for.

Joan was planning on keeping him at first but then Roman became aquainted with Thomas and Roman just wouldn’t let Thomas not take him home (aka wouldn’t let go). Talyn claims Roman imprinted on him since Thomas was holding him when Ro finally opened his eyes.

Patton

Patton was, at first, just being fostered by Thomas for a friend (Terrence) who moved to a new apartment that didn’t allow pets (Terrence only learned this after moving in because the complex owner didn’t care enough to tell him there were no pets allowed until he saw Terrence about to take Patt into the apartment when moving in).

Thomas later adopted him from Terrence when Terrence moved to Arizona where they were both worried if Patton would adapt well or not, so Thomas kept him.

Logan

Logan was a stray young cat from a littler of maine coon cats that a feral mother had.

Logan lived behind Thomas’ apartment complex. He took a liking to Thomas so Thomas took him in and gave him shelter. He later adopted him and Logan is a half-indoor/half-outdoor cat now, since Lo still loves the outdoors.

Virgil

Virgil’s mom was owned by a bad human who let her leave and come back whenever she wanted. His mother got surprise pregnant and the owner couldn’t tell. When she had Virgil, the mom, nor the mom’s owner wanted him, so the owner abandoned him outside.

Once he was outside, Virgil survived on his own for about a week before Logan found him and adopted him as his not-as-furry kitten.

Logan adopted him because he’s all black and Lo determined that this small black half fuzzy thing is a badly groomed cat that can apparently fly now. The flying did kind of confuse him but Logan’s committed so he’s just like ‘yeah, my kid flies, so be it as long as he’s in my sight so he doesn’t get lost’.

Thomas adopted Virgil to stay indoors to keep him protected and let him live as long as possible away from possible predators, since he was already abandoned by his mother.

Deceit (named Ethan)

Ethan was abandoned outside by his mother’s owner (a breeder who simply wanted certain typed of snakes) because he was born the wrong color (the breeder wanted albinos but the momma snake had lil super black pastel Dee).

Logan adopted him as his very not-so-furry kitten and took care of him.

Again, was easier for Lo to mistake him for a kitten since Ethan is all black just like Logan himself. Plus, at that point, Logan had a flying ‘kitten’ and could care less over having a slithery ‘kitten’ or not.

Thomas adopted Ethan when Logan brought him (and Virgil) to Thomas when Eth got sick with an upper respiratory infection and Logan knew Thomas would care for his not-so-fluffy kittens.

Thomas adopted him very shortly after Eth was back to being healthy.

Pets In The Future

He definitely plans to adopt something else but he has yet to fully adopt them.

He’s talked to a chameleon breeder and is planning to adopt one from the new clutch once they’re old enough to be adopted.

He’s also planning to adopt the baby bunny of a a friends’s two rabbits, once it’s big enough that Ethan won’t think it’s food (not that he would, Ethan is still tiny and only likes pinkies, but Thomas doesn’t want to chance it).

He is fostering/caring for two pets for friends. He’s fostering a sugar glider named Emile for Valerie while she is too busy to do so.

He’s taking care of a green iguana named Remy for his friend, Talyn, who had a housefire and Remy was left without somewhere to stay while Talyn stays with Joan (who’s complex owner won’t allow more than one pet in the apartments). Remy did have a few burns when Thomas got him but all are healed over now.

Taglist (I’m just gonna tag a couple who seemed to be interested in the AU in the previous two posts about it): @sirpuppetuniverse @lovesupportandcookies @just-another-rainbowblog @please-nope @dabookwormcat @stormy-sides