#Especially the stuff with deep plot and well thought out plot twists

[call-me-chips]

Me: Is easily scared by psychological horror

Also me: Fucking loves psychological horror

[amaratas]

I Didn't Know This Time Would Be Our Last

TITLE: I Didn't Know This Time Would Be Our Last PAIRING(S): Civil War!Steve Rogers x AFAB!Reader TRIGGER WARNINGS: Porn with plot, smut, unprotected sex, piv sex, angst, oral sex (female receiving), beard burn, abandonment, mention of vomiting (but not explicit). A/N: Reader is a civilian. Steve is (kind of) a jerk, but for a good reason tbh. It dangerous, obviously. Sharon and Steve are not a thing. Reader and Steve have been in a relationship since 2014.

You can't slow your heartbeat, that's the one thing you notice when the very publicized signing of the Sokovia Accords in Vienna ended in an event of terrorism, a bombing, killing the King of Wakanda and countless others. You'd hardly spoken to Steve, especially since Ross demanded he sign the Accords, and he'd refused. Peggy's funeral had passed them by and Steve was, quite rightly, distraught. Your thoughts drift to Natasha, your best friend, who was meant to be in Vienna for the signing. You shakily pulled out your phone as it buzzes, expecting it to be your boyfriend, but sighing in relief as a text message from Natasha comes through. I'm fine. Stay put. You let your phone fall to the floor. They were saying it was the Winter Soldier, and all you were wondering at the moment was where the fuck was your boyfriend.

Your hands covered your eyes as you started to take deep breaths. You stood up from your place on the couch, biting your knuckle as you paced the Brooklyn apartment. Eventually the sound of keys jingling on the other side of your front door became evident to you and you took a step back, holding your breath. And then Steve came through the door, "Y/N, I'm been calling you," He muttered, shutting the door, locking and bolting it behind him.

"What's happening?" You demand, voice unsteady. Steve was eerily quiet. He appeared as though he hadn't shaved in days, and it showed. Likely not since Peggy had passed.

"He didn't do it." Steve stated after a moment. You look at him hesitantly.

"Baby, it's all over the news..." You watched as Steve shook his head, walking to the bedroom and pulling a duffle bag off the top shelf, beginning to stuff clothes from his drawer in it. "What are you doing?"

"I've got to find him." You were taken aback. Not signing the Accords was one thing, though you didn't think Steve would ever lay down the shield willingly, but this? This was treason, wasn't it? Against the law? You took a deep breath. If Steve was doing this, he had good reason to believe it. And you would too. You weren't engaged and there was no ring on your finger to say it for you, but then again "for better or for worse" went without saying.

"Okay. Hand me my bag." You stated, hand outstretched. Steve looked over at you, expression vacant but blue eyes piercing. "...what?"

"No." He said firmly. You scoffed in disbelief.

"I'm coming with you." You declared stubbornly. You try to soldier past him into the closet, though you didn't really expect to be able to move him to the side. "Steve, just hand me my bag. I'm not letting you go alone."

He shook his head. "I'm not alone, Sam's coming with me."

You gave him a pointed look, "You know what I mean." And for a moment, he drops his bag onto the floor and turns to embrace you. You're on the defensive, though, hands placed against his pectorals and pushing him away. "No. No way. I'll stay at some safe house, but I'm not letting you go without me."

Steve looked to be some mix between forlorn and exasperated. "Baby, listen. This is dangerous."

Another scoff of disbelief falls from your lips, "Yeah. I know." And in a simple split second, Steve's demeanor changes, walls fall, and he shifts his weight, twisting to take your bag down from the top shelf of the closet. "Wait, are you serious?" You asked, "Just like that?"

Steve sighed, nodding. "Well, you're one of the only people I know who's as stubborn as I am," He admitted, shoving the bag into your arms. "We gotta pack fast, doll. Sam's picking me up as soon as night falls, we've got a lead in Romania."

Romania. The two of you were in England, so that'd be what? Thirty hours, give or take, by car? A sixth of that if they flew? How were they even going to get there? You blew out a short breath, moving to your dresser and pulling out clothes, shoving it into your bag. You drift to the bathroom and do the same with toiletries. "How are we getting there?" You called over your shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," Steve called back. "You done?" You replied in the affirmative and he made his way into the bathroom taking your full bag from you and dropping it at the foot of the bed. He cupped the side of your face, looking at you as if studying your features, something you didn't really think too hard on at the time.

"Are you okay?" You asked quietly. He nodded, kissing your forehead.

"I will be. I've got my girl with me." He muttered into your hairline. You pulled back, placing your own hand on the crook of his neck, pulling him down to kiss you.

"We've got hours, right?" You muttered against his lips. He nodded, grunting as his hands found your hips and hoisted you up with ease, his lips finding yours again. "I love you." You murmured.

"I love you," He replied swiftly, lips connecting once more as he held you steady with a hand cupping your lower back, pulling the bathroom door open and walking through it to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He gently tossed you on the bed, crawling over you, his hands intertwining with yours.

Bodies moved in tandem like a well-oiled machine, his five o'clock shadow rough against your petal soft cheek, against your chest as he fixed his mouth to the supple skin of your breast. His kisses trailed south, across your navel, on your exposed hip, and his fingers swiftly pulled your cloth shorts and unmentionables down, past your thighs, your knees, throwing them to some corner of the room to be found later.

His mouth connected with your core, tongue circling your clit. The burn between your thighs as he devoured you sent a jolt of electricity up your spine and your hands covered your mouth as you moaned out. He plied the use of his hands, thick digits slowly sinking into your cunt and one of your hands hit the bed, gripping the sheets tightly and pulling the sheet up as he brought you closer to the edge.

"Steve," You moaned. Your mouth fell open and you writhed beneath his touch, "I need you," You whined, and for a moment, he stopped, and you watched as he lifted his head to lock eyes with you, chin glistening with your juices after he'd consumed your cunt like a man starved. He stood, sending his shoes flying as he took them off, then unbuckling his belt, tossing it aside and kicking off his slacks and boxers. He parted your legs, crawling back over you and positioning himself with your soaking slit, sinking in without warning, causing a loud moan to escape your lips.

A particularly hard thrust had a sharp intake of breath leaving your body, his thrusts meaningful and particular. He was not slow, with each piston of his hips jolting her body, eliciting some noise. "Let me hear you," He begged in your ear, breath hot, voice low. You were all to happy to oblige, especially as you felt the coil in your core quickly winding up and burning red hot with desire. Your moans were loud and wanton and you could tell Steve was relishing in the way you completely gave him your body, your words, your mind.

His hands were everywhere. Within his bruising grasp, Steve desperately grabbed at the supple flesh of your ass, groping and pulling with each fluid movement. Sweat from his brow dripped down onto you, and as he hit a particular spot within you, you shuddered, suddenly going rigid and crying out as your walls clenched around his length, and you came. "That's it, baby," He crooned, his breath hot in your ear. You tapped him fervently on his shoulder, moving to take a different position.

He reentered you from behind as you flipped onto you stomach, Steve pulling your hips up and towards him. He brought his hands to cup your breasts, one hand trailing down to grip your hip for better leverage as he fucked into you. He pulled you up straight as he fucked you from behind so your back was flush with his chest, lips attached to you neck, marking you, leaving bites and hickeys as the rough movements of his hips became more fluid and more frenzied.

He was nearing his peak. You could always tell. He was faster, he made more noise, his breathing would change. Currently, he was breathing hard into your ear, leaning against you for support as he chased his high and quickly coaxed a second orgasm from you. It was almost overwhelming, this feeling of him inside of you, you looked over your shoulder at him as he began to grunt, began to pant faster and almost whine.

You were close too, and seeing the blissed out, desperate look on his face-- seeing his head tilted back and feeling how he slammed into you, you cried out, cumming around his cock once again. He was muttering like a madman, sweet nothings as his thrusts slowed, his hips jerked, "So good for me, so good..." Steve buried his face in your neck and let out a low groan, emptying his load inside you. You never felt so close to him as you usually did in these moments, fucked out together, feeling rope after rope of white hot spend battering your insides, feeling the little movements of his hips as he rode out his high.

The two of you fell to the mattress, Steve's heavy weight on top of you, weighing you down as you warmed his cock, the pair of you catching your breaths. After a moment of silence, he placed a kiss behind your ear, and the onslaught of kisses that he placed from your neck to your shoulder. After a few more minutes, him moving to cradle your figure from behind. You groaned in protest as Steve removed himself from you.

You felt his spend spill from your entrance, thinly coating your thighs and you flipped onto your back, gazing at him with nothing but love as he walked to the bathroom to likely get a washcloth for the aftercare, his usual routine. "Marry me." You muttered to him. You saw him freeze, turning back to look at you. "I know you heard me," You teased him. "We're running away, right? We're gonna save Bucky, and it'll be awhile before..." You sighed, sitting up. "I'm all in. That's what I mean. I'm all in. With you." You were startled as he walked over to pick you up off the bed, kissing you, and you grinned widely, giggling and peppering his face with kisses. "Is that a yes?"

Steve nodded, laughing softly, "That's a yes, Y/N/N." He carried you to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to the showerhead and kissed you softly, directing you into the tiled vessel.

After taking a quick shower in the bathroom, which included a slow and steamy round two, you flopped ungracefully back onto your bed, sleepy fingers fussing with the fitted sheet, having annoyingly come undone as he'd ravished you earlier. He settled in next to you, playing with your hair. The clock read 19:15. Finally giving up your battle with the bedspread, you ended up turning over, and snuggling into Steve's side. "Sam'll be here at midnight, right?" You watched him nod. "Don't let me sleep too long." You murmured, closing your eyes and yawning.

"I won't."

He lied.

Perhaps the only reason you woke up, two and a half hours later, was because you felt Steve hug and roll. The mattress dipped under the stress of his weight, and you, at first, thought he was heading to the restroom. But then you heard him picking up one of his bags, and you sat up quickly, almost glaring at him. "You were never going to bring me with you." You stated.

He shook his head. "No."

"Please, stay." You said softly, desperately. Steve was quiet, hand on the doorknob. "Please, just-" You didn't know how else to phrase it. "Please stay."

"Even though you know I don’t want to?" His voice was low, and serious. A tone he'd never taken with you before, left you breathless- and not in a good way.

"Yes." You breathing was faster now, he opened the bedroom door, walking out to the living room. You leapt out of bed like a bat out of hell, sliding right in front of him with your hands up. "Baby, think about it. Just think. I-If you sign the Accords, Tony can help you, right? The Avengers can help, and it won't break the team apart. You can convince Ross, I know you can, just don't do this. You said that we would... why would you say yes to me if you were just going to..." You were at a loss for words.

He was still quiet, before breaking the choking silence, "Stay put." Just like what Nat said. Your stomach twisted. "I'll be back before you know it, everything will be... fine. We'll have a church wedding, a house, a damn white picket fence if you want. I have to go, baby."

You dropped your bag onto the floor, shaking your head, "You don't believe that. Because if you did, you'd be looking at me. Because you've been lying to me the entire time you've been here, right? About why you've been here? I'm not stupid, Steven! You won't even fucking look at me! This is treason! You'd be a fucking war criminal, baby!" You exclaimed, wiping the tears as they welled up in your waterline.

He pushed past you, unlocking and unbolting the front door, hand hesitating on the knob as he spoke, "I didn't say you were, Y/N. I promise, I will be back."

Your jaw set, teeth grinding against teeth and you shook your head, "You're not fucking stupid either, Steve. If you go without me, I'm not going to be here when you get back!"

More silence.

And then...

"I know."

The knob twisted, and as Steve walked out of the apartment, the sound of the door slamming shut was synchronic with the sound of your breaking heart. Your hand covered your mouth, and you sank to the floor, a scream of... what? Sorrow? Heartbreak? Anger? Regardless, it was muffled by the skin covering your lips. Because even as he left you, you couldn't bring yourself to draw attention to his leaving. You still wanted to protect him.

For a moment it felt as though you were struggling to breathe, and as your stomach twisted further, your nerves on fire and slowly becoming sick, you bolted up from your place collapsed on the floor, scrambling to the bathroom and heaving into the toilet. Tears flooded your cheeks as you sobbed, as you heaved, as you choked on your own bile.

Damn him. Fucking damn him.

Everything was blurring together; time especially. How long had you been on the floor before running here to get sick? You coughed and hacked, trying to grab your mouthwash cup just to get some water down your throat, tryin g to dampen this parasympathetic response possessing your body and causing such turmoil, though none of it undue. You glanced at the clock, finally, as the water slipped down your esophagus and your stomach began to bear some semblance of settling.

God, was it already midnight?

As you slowly came back to yourself, you brushed your teeth. You jumped in the shower. You made your way unsteadily back into the bedroom, you picked your phone from your nightstand. Text message alert. From Steve.

I love you. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm tossing this phone so they can't track it. Don't do anything stupid until I get back. I hope you'll still be there. Please understand, I had to. It's Bucky. I had to.

Against your better judgement, you dialed his number. When the call went straight to voicemail, that's when it really hit you. You swallowed thickly, walking to your balcony door and stepping outside, and throwing it as hard and as far as you could muster. You watched under the light of streetlamps as it landed in the street. No tracking his number, no reading your texts, especially as the phone shattered against the pavement four stories below. A car and its tires obliterated the remnants, and you let out a shaky breath.

He was gone. Steve was really gone.

And you were alone.

[unnursvanablog]

While the premise of When the Phone Rings sounded decent enough I was mostly tuning in for the cast as I do enjoy both Chae Soo Bin and Yoo Yeon Seok and the thought of a political thriller about a kidnapping sounded decent enough. I was however expecting a much more straight forward, action-thriller like 24 (the American tv show) but instead a got much more of an intense melodrama with a plot twists that I did not see coming. And it hooked me right in.

It also helps that Chae Soo Bin and Yoo Yeon Seok do have very good chemistry and the character dynamic is interesting enough between them that I am quite excited already about them eventually making out, but I can also tell that I am going to enjoy the buildup and the intensity of that all very much. At least judging by these two episodes.

The first episode did take a while to get going as we are sort of introducing the characters at their repesctive works and they don't start interacting with each other until quite late in the episode which was frustrating but it did work well for the story, so I get why it was set up like that. This isn't a loving marriage and no one even knows that they are married so it makes sense. But I do think the chemistry of the two leads is strong enough that the story does sort of gets into place when they are on screen together and we really see that odd, cold but intesne couple interaction which is just so intriguing.

Even if the sort of arranged marriage couple plot does feel very melodramatic and soapy and is very often used when you are dealing with these wealthy and very influential families in kdramas. It's nothing new, but I do tend to enjoy it in a drama form and it does feel refreshing because it's not in a romcom sense where the family wants to arrange a marriage but then the ceo son falls in love with a commoner which has started to get tiresome even if some dramas do manage to spin it in a fun way. This is very melodramatic and I enjoy it.

Baek Sa Eon has a darkness within him or sort of anger that seems to be bubbling under the very sort of cold and composed surfice (especially with his family secrets and all) and I do think he is very calculated with everything which I find very intriguing but the very quiet and meek Hong Hee Joo which seems to have operated all her life as if to not be a bother to anyone which then, once she is almost kidnapped, decides to trick her husband into thinking someone is trying to blackmail him and threatning him with her. When you hear her speaking on the phone in the bathroom… oh that was a good hook. That made me audiably gasp and sit straighter in my seat. Hong Hee Joo is the start of the show.

But she is also kinda clumsy at it… so I do worry for her. And she is accidentally getting herself involved in some scary organization… because that phone was used by a man that tried to kidnap her for real, but that is all part of the plot. It's going to get messy and I just hope it will be entertaining to watch.

I do think that while she is convinced that she is doing this out of frustration and wanting him to divorce her (because she can't do it due to marriage contract ala evil rich family stuff) I also think she is doing it because she wants to rail him up. She wants to see some reaction from him. Deep inside I think she wants to test if he actually gives a shit about her, but she isn't ready to admit that to him. Because she did try at the beginning of their marriage to make it sort of work but he pushed her away.

because the first time they have actually had a conversation is through those phone calls. It's such an interesting dynamic. And through that messed up way of communicating they are going to realize that they actually love each other. Because the man is already jealous, possessive in his cold-hearted and rude way and doesn't actually want to loose her. Oh this is going to be a makjang madness, high drama level stuff mess, but please let it be in a good way.

It a fun sport of soapy melodrama with some messy people and it looks like it might be quite entertaining. I really enjoyed myself with these two episodes.

I do not care about the secondary romance that they have started to hint at… at all. That felt like a jolt in the pacing in episode two.

[roe-sesandthorns]

unfiltered thoughts on deadpool & wolverine

first, lemme just say I enjoyed the movie. it was a first movie-in-cinema experience after a looong while and I saw it in 3D. granted was a bit unwell so mayyybe that influenced my experience idk.

spoilers under the cut

is it an enjoyable movie? YES. absolutely. i liked the comedy, liked the characters, liked the plot (generic but we'll get to it)

there was obviously a lot of love and care in the movie, for ALL the characters - not just the main ones but also the variants of older marvel movies (or non-movies) like Electra, Blade, and Gambit.

the fight scenes were as always amaaaazing

the dynamic between wolvie and dp was beautifully done

basic premise of the movie works wonderfully. especially given the previous movies as well as the in-universe explanation.

they handled the multiverse thing a bit better than the other ones. there is a legit reason for deadpool to go through the multiverses looking for wolvie to fill in the gap Logan left in his.

speaking of, i was confused how deadpool was in the 616 timeline (which, still fucking bitter they decided to use that for the MCU shitshow) for the meeting with Happy and then 6 years later in the 100005-whatever-the-fuck of his universe if both of those happened after the second deadpool

OR the meeting w Happy was before deadpool 2 and then he goes back and creates the alt timeline which leads to 10005 or whatever. the second option makes more sense so that's what i'm going with.

still confused about how deadpool changing the timeline affected the Logan universe or if they merged cause Logan's death cause the destablisation but wouldn't deadpool's timeline be a new one with some other anchor being - possibly deadpool

anyway, they very strongly claimed that deadpool wasnt the anchor being - which, so many misdirects in the movie that deadpool leans into as almost a mouthpiece for the audience and then they pull the bait-and-switch

sidenote: the misdirects were well done, it didn't cheapen the "twist" or surprises. deadpool's (and our logic) was the obvious track before they flipped it. so no gripe there. it was a good use of calling out the thing then adding a twist or surprise.

anyway the anchor being and the timeline TVA stuff was (as usual) a bit annoying and hard to follow at times logically BUT this is also a superhero movie and it DOES obey its own in-universe laws so the problem I have with Marvel's TVA shit is a personal opinion and not a reflection of the movie itself.

also the movie (through deadpool) IS aware of how godawful the multiverse shit in Marvel has been - and honestly, I agree w DP - fucking stop w the multiverse shit Marvel. it's not fun anymore cause you dropped the ball a long time back. (Multiverse of Madness, anyone?)

I had mixed feelings about wolverine's backstory on the initial watch

they hyped it up as him doing this unthinkable thing and him being irredeemable and then they are like oh no, he just didn't answer when they called. and it was like.... okay, and? I kept waiting for there to be more or the story to be different. the real revelation was that he had started killing people. and killing indiscriminately using the xmen uniform. this was given in the middle of a crucial high tension point

i see the appeal in doing it this way - logan was hiding his REAL sin deep within himself. he wouldn't offer it up to someone especially not someone he had just met hours ago. and in hostile territory. that's not him.

secondly, the impact of the revelation I feel was supposed to be more earthshattering than it ended up being. it was meant to be a huge shock. but after seeing him claw through people (and deadpool) repeatedly taking kill shots and after so much DEADPOOL level of Rated R violence, it landed a bit too softly for the moment to make an impact.

it was later as I thought about it that I was like, oh shit yeah like that was a big ass deal and his whole relationship w charles and the guilt he feels etc... that emotional weight didn't land in the middle of the moment. especially cause it was immediately followed by him quipping at Cassandra and trapping her

so was it true? must've been cause she was in his head.

does he feel the guilt the same way? that's what he says.

does that show in the aftermath of the moment? kinda, when he decides to spare her for charles.

but idk, it just didn't hit the way they might've wanted it to hit. Maybe allusions to him being a murderer or something before? set it up? his mistake was catastrophically world ending or at least world impacting. the loss of the x-men was not set up previously or alluded to soooo it rings a bit hollow.

maybe dropping a few hints before the reveal would have helped.

ALSO, sidenote but how tf did humans end up killing ALL of the x-men?? that seems v unlikely given that they are the fucking X-MEN. idk maybe i missed something.

Moving on...

as a deadpool AND wolverine movie, it delivered. there were some really amazing moments - the danceoff obviously, the cameos, the misdirects, the action sequences were amazing

am I a bit tired of seeing the "lose vanessa - save the day and vanessa - get back w vanessa" cycle for the third time? yeah. I mean I get he loves her and all but it's a bit too cyclical to hold impact. like cool, again? really?

again, not a plothole, a personal preference.

would have loved exploring more of wade's dalliances like shiklah or even Death. would;ve been cool.

not that I am mad about a decent mostly healthy relationship and a stable love interest in a Marvel movie (v tony stark-pepper potts coded)

speaking of stability, or lack thereof, I felt like this movie in particular did not delve as deeply into deadpool's unique mental headspace. i was hoping sometime they would bring in the more debilitating aspects of his mental health (the boxes, the hallucinations, the suicidal/self-harm tendencies) but I get that it might be a bit too grimdark for Fox/Disney

would've been nice to have a bit more of that aspect of his character

although who's to know maybe MCU wade's support system helps him be a bit more well adjusted

also why the emphasis on Peter? is it for a joke cuase he's just some guy? is it a cheeky peter parker jab? is it both? it's mildly funny so i don't mind. just meh about - again, personal preference.

ok something that's more objective:

i think there were too many 4th wall breaks. it was fun, the references were amazing. some of them were really good. loved the opening one, the one where he smashes the camera, and some other moments.

but after a while it felt stale or too much. the jokes did hit. it's not like they were unfunny like the rest of marvel's humour

some of the deep cuts were D E E P but it's not even about the content. deep cut references are a staple for the character.

but just the frequency of the meta jokes and the 4th wall breaks was a bit excessive?

but then again, deadpool isn't deapool if he isn't a bit annoying or excessive. my guy's the arachetype for a comedic motormouth

the woke-jokes were funny but not as edgy as he could go. I felt like the jokes were a bit too tongue-in-cheek to make them almost cringe? but whatever. they played it safe and i'm not mad about it.

as a movie, it felt a bit too attention grabby in the wrong way. there was a "aren't i so clever" or smarmy marvel overtone of "look at us being self-referrential and allowing you to laugh at us becuase you've been joking about our products being shit but when we allow ryan reynolds to do it we beocme edgy and cool and don't u wanna buy more now? look we got so much to sell you? did i tell you RDJ is coming back? which, holy fucking shit fuck that shit it sucks "

maybe it's just my anti-marvel agenda idek

still, sometimes just having fox's logo in the back rather than pointing it out is enough ig

for someone who was and is so tired of Marvel, it was a refreshing movie

i enjoyed it, it was a decent movie, a good deadpool movie not as good as the previous two and a GREAT deadpool and wolverine movie. does that make sense?

i never really cared for wolverine much in the past decade but this movie made him cool again, which was awesome

the teamup and dynamic was great

marvel needs to learn to give people who love the characters (not just their own but OTHER characters esp the oft forgotten ones) and want to do them justice more creative control and let them tell the (hopefully self contained) stories rather than focusing on playing join the dots behind the scenes OR try to catch attention through shock value

it doesn't work. it's like jumpscares in horror. you pay attention for a second cuase you're startled but the real impactful horror is the one done through themes and story - not a loud bang.

altho i have a feeling that the lesson marvel is gonna take is about shoving more and more (esp obscure) cameos in a work than actually doing justive to characters and stories

oh, also. it goes to show that the two best received (so far) movies post Endgame have been the multiverse ones with nostalgic characters

MCU's """sacred timeline""" is fucked because of them. people want to feel what they felt like watching the older more self-contained stories like the x-men or the tobey spidey movies

it's not jsut nostalgia, it's about story and characters and HEART.

phase 4 is proof that marvel doesn't have a heart.

parting thoughts: the only interaction i want from deadpool and the main MCU is with spiderman. preferably andrew garfield but i'll take holland in a pinch.

I have hope that as long as ryan has the reigns his deadpool projects + appearances will always have heart.

And I have NOT touched on how GAY (non-derogatory) the movie is and I think I need another long rant for it cause goddamn the movie is queer af and I love it. the euphemistic van scene alone GODDAMN.

it's like ryan and team were NOT here to play - deadpool is queer, get with it or perish. love that energy.

Edit: the set pieces holy shit. it was a gorgeous movie that was shot amazingly and the practical effects and CG were ON POINT. LOTS of attention to detail.

[subwayfloorlicker1978]

tadc works better in the medium that it unintentionally conveyed itself as

okay. you’re probably reading this title thinking “but subwayfloorlicker1978… what IS the medium in question????” okay the medium in question is being a lore filled mysterious series with twists and turns and having an emphasis on twists and turns just as much as its characters.

now. this baffles me a little bit bc even though one could get that exact idea of tadc just by watching the first episode (and the fandom ITSELF literally got that impression. i mean its even evident in the fanmade aus.) gooseworx made a twitter post a few months ago that apparently tadc is made up of. and i quote. 95% character depth/stuff/etc and like 5% of lore. which is… hm.

which also baffled me! because my GOD was there a lot of lore foreshadowing and spooky (if you want to call it that.) stuff throughout episode 1. like WAY too much of it, especially if your main goal of tadc is to have it be a series centered heavily on the characters. not saying you can’t have background plot things going on, but like… 95%? seriously? i’m definitely praying she hadn’t entirely thought out that ratio before pressing the post button.

and that’s why tadc unintentionally comes across as a series with super deep lore, literally to the point where i’ve seen certain people unironically call it a horror series (which is wrong btw. even if you’re taking the c&a scenes + caine’s suspicious moments into account). it quite literally spends like 1/3 of its main scenes in episode 1 putting SO much emphasis on the c&a lore and the abstraction and everything else.

and the thing is. i dont entirely blame gooseworx for this. obviously it would be very important to flesh out the environment/world that the characters are in during the first episode (LITERALLY your first impression), which obviously includes locations like the lore office area pomni was in or the cellar where caine banishes all of the crazy people to go to. (oh and also even the topic of abstraction itself via kaufmo) but like..... there’s a reason why tadc has a game theory episode.

i’ve said this before and ill say it again. tadc and the entire “digital circus” thing and the implementation of vr headsets + lore into the story is ONLY an excuse for gooseworx to tell a compelling story about compelling characters in a cartoony wacky environment. its basically a guaranteed way for the viewers to actually see these goofy characters in a humanoid manner. however… you can’t just implement characters with these vr headset backstories and existential themes without it sounding entirely ominous. AND you can’t just drop a huge bombshell regarding the lore of the show and WHY the vr stuff happened and then go on twitter and say that its 95% about the characters.

and with the direction of the cellar and office scenes.. im not sure if it’s even possible for someone to make a clean cut resolution to the lore tidbits while still fulfilling the “5%” lore thing and not having it come off as giving off the wrong expectations. the direction of these scenes is SO intense like. some of these camera shots clearly put emphasis on small little details and the tone of these scenes pale so much in comparison to previous scenes that it catches you so off guard.

which is what makes them very well written! however they pack so much content and foreshadowing into themselves that its such a far fetched thing to say that only 5% of lore will make up tadc. that combined with the prospect of past lives. and also with the clear foreshadowing of jax being a morally corrupt person. what about the extremely heavy motifs of exit doors? there’s no way THATS going to just be gone after episode 1. goose, what do you MEAN there’s going to be corpse imagery? all of this ties into each other. lore and tone tie into each other too. come on.

but these aspects can definitely be used to craft a great story. WITH character arcs and character deep dives throughout episodes. gravity falls literally nailed this. and theoretically tadc could too. emphasis on theoretically.

also if the “memory loss” thing was actually canon and not something the fandom thought was canon (again reasonable misinterpretation because obviously if you hear pomni say “HOLY FLIP I FORGOT MY OWN NAME!!!” you’re going to assume she forgot everything else.) that would also work well along with the theoretical lore stuff if it was more emphasized. literally think of the vast opportunities for foreshadowing. maybe pomni finds out something about the other characters via revisiting the office that THEY can’t remember. maybe do something with like… reflexes and muscle memory or something related to “the mind forgets but the body remembers”. maybe use it as a plot point in relation to jax’s keys or his weirdly implied secret or something. IDK! i just think a lore and plot driven story in this environment combined with character things (50/50…) would be marginally more interesting than what we will be given.

okay one more pet peeve in relation to this before i go. deep breath……. i really hate the cartoonish body language of the main human cast. GO AHEAD BOO ME. THROW TOMATOES AT ME. LET ME EXPLAIN OKAY.

one piece of media that i think does a GREAT job when it comes to utilizing body language in storytelling is duck season. it clearly humanizes the guy in the suit by giving him certain habits that seem undoubtedly human and make him feel very… alive. like whenever he smokes a cigarette but then quickly puts it out when the player gets near him bc he’s startled and needs to keep up a facade. like THAT. that’s what strikes me as a human behavior.

so if goose’s goal would be to humanize these “cartoon” characters… realistic body language that clashes with their digital circus designs would be a perfect way to make them stick out in comparison to the npcs or caine and bring out the fact that they’re humans in an environment curated by nonhumans. it would also help a little more with tadc’s target demographic problem i think? the characters having little humanoid habits would make it seem a little more mature i think and would also go well with my idea of theoretical lore-focused tadc. not saying 20 year olds CANT be into pieces of media that have bright colors and are very cartoony. im just saying. there’s a reason why there’s so much content slop of tadc.

[antisolararc]

the haterrr

that dinky little gun shoots the orb things above it, which i think are like seeds? such a rarely used item that i haven't thought about it that much yet.

bio and stuff under the cut

PERSONALITY & BACKGROUND:

Unlicensed private investigator (read: professional blackmailer) and wannabe insurgent Vita Caturnon definitely thinks she’s getting something out of this, though it’s not really clear what that is... But that’s just part of the plan! You aren’t supposed to know! Vita is the 13th of the 24 children of the infamous televangelist faith healer Aloysius Caturnon. She is the first of his children not to be born to his missing first wife, and some might even speculate that Vita’s birth led him to (ALLEGEDLY) kill her. Expectedly, they have a tumultuous-at-best relationship with their family. They studied journalism and even attended a year of law school, but Aloysius stopped paying the tuition once he got word of its plots against him. Despite her many public threats on his life, Aloysius doesn’t care enough to put a bounty on her head, which infuriates her... especially considering the one he's put on some of their siblings. Vita is an (overly) ambitious, energetic, assertive self-starter who couldn’t mind her own business to save her life. She is observant, analytical, and always trying to twist a situation to her advantage. As bullheaded as they come, Vita has an opinion on everything, and she can’t stand to leave a single stone unturned. Somehow, though, their bluster serves as a sort of camouflage for their more subtle machinations. When things are going right, they’re infuriatingly smug, and when things are going wrong, they’ll be the first to complain. Well, the latter may be justified -- Vita is usually the voice of reason among the group. She goes out of her way to ensure they don’t just survive but thrive despite (or because of) their eventual infamy. Why do so much for these ill-adjusted, troublemaking miscreants? Well, don’t bother asking, because they wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer. Although Vita is intelligent in regards to many things, this absolutely does not include her own emotions. No one makes her feel more confused about her feelings than Ivrel, much to her chagrin. Despite a violent allergy to expressing any sort of vulnerability, she can’t just snuff out all of her deep-seated insecurities. Instead, it spits them back up as vitriol and spite. It’s no surprise to them that they’re hardly perceived as charming, but Vita would rather be hated than ignored. Her powers are the absolute pinnacle of her insecurities, even though they’re kind of, like, her brand? As much as she tries to embrace what she has, she knows she’s a weakling… Or at least she thinks she is. If she were to acknowledge where her true strength lies, perhaps that would make her a bit more like the old man than she’d care to admit, hm? Vita likes to think it's above the antics of its family, particularly Aloysius' cult of personality, but really nothing is more Caturnon-esque than developing a righteous obsession with killing your own father. While she is usually very aware, she is apparently (perhaps willfully) ignorant of this. No time to worry about it, though, they've got other pans in the fire! Sorta. Working on it.

ABILITIES:

She can make plants, but not particularly large or durable ones. however, she can see and hear through her plants, which is apparently unique to her. Although having existing plant matter to spawn them from is helpful, it is not strictly necessary. Other plants at least help to disguise the spies. Her own aren't always subtle enough, considering they have eyes inside that mirror her own gaze. It can monitor multiple locations at once while staying aware of its surroundings with some sort of... splitscreen brain setup. It primarily serves as the group's informant, but it handles their "business affairs" as well. Like many of the Caturnon children, Vita has spent a non-trivial amount of time trying to emulate her father's powers. As a result, they have substantial knowledge of medicinal plants and how to use them. Probably not the ideal medic (the bedside manner is abysmal), but an acceptable one.

[short-black-diamond]

"My scary knight in shining armor is a ...?"

Guys the anime/manga series My dress up darling is in dire need of attention and love!

Gojo Wakana x reader. My dress up darling. I've wanted to write a fic about him for a while, so here I am!

Summary: in the midst of going home from a shopping trip from buying fabric for Marin, Gojo encounters some delinquents. The delinquents corner him. And suddenly, a girl comes and saves him. However, the plot always has a twist.

Your name: Yena Hideyo, but you call yourself Attic

---

'Ah~! I'm so happy about all the fabric I purchased! I hope Kitagawa will be okay that I didn't buy the type of fabric she requ- huh?', Gojo thought when he came face to face with some guys, who were standing in front of him.

Each one of them had a snarl on his face, whihc was rather irking than scary. Gojo however, felt an uneasyness when the leader -he supposed- came up to him.

"What'cha got there, huh?", the boy asked, and Gojo could smell the bad smell of cigarettes coming from the -maybe one year?- older guy. "u-um, it's just--fabric-"

"Bwahaha! Why does a guy like you go shopping for stuff like that?? And it's all pink as well!", the guy sneered, and his underlings cackled.

Gojo blushed, as he looked to the side with a frown. 'Can't they go bother somebody else?'

But, it seemed like the gangster was not done yet with the boy. "So, you got some money on ya?", the guy asked, eyeing Gojo's purchase.

Gojo hugged the bag tighter, his voice coming in a more quiet voice than he intended. "I don't have any money..."

and still, the guys didn't waver. "No money?? But from buying all that stuff you must be rich, no?"

"Yeah, c'mon, we just want some beer, then we'll leave ya alone."

Gojo was suddenly surrounded by the guys. It also didn't help that no soul was there. He was alone with the rowdys.

"Either you give us your wallet or we'll tear that delicate fabric."

Gojo only stubbornly shook his head, being ready to get beaten up by the look of the annoyed faces the guys around him made. He closed his eyes as the leader in front of him raised his fists, preparing for impact, but it never came.

punches were heard though, and coughing, and something falling to the ground. When Gojo opened his eyes again, he was met with the sight of a scary looking goth girl.

You were looking at him as you stood sideways, your eyes bored, your hair was put in a bun, clothes dark and covered with bordeaux and deep blue embroidments on the corset you wore, as it tightened your waist. You wore a short skirt, platform boots, and in your hand was something big.

When he looked at your body more, he saw that you actually had a nice figure, and he blushed for thinking something like that. But, he couldn't help himself as his eyes started to wander. Especially when your collarbone down to your low cleavage was exposed, the veins on your chest and your pale skin overall, with your dark lipstick... reminding him of something he learned in school.

Having blue veins visible on your chest as a woman was a popular trend in the middle ages. also your pale skin must've been a beauty trend, and your red lipstick gave the final note. you reminded him of a woman in a painting, who stepped out of the frame and wandered the streets. You wore old-fashioned clothes, and your different look bewildered Gojo, but not that he disliked it. You looked interesting.

He flinched as he took a step back, only to step on the hand of one of the guys who was behind him just moments ago. You faced him. "You're...Gojo Wakana.", you said, pointing towards him.

Gojo nodded, feeling uneasy around you. "d-did you beat up those guys?", he asked after you took out some papers. His curiousity was peaked, and before he could ask what those papers were, you held them out towards him.

"I follow Kitagawa on social media. We are mutuals. I'll pay you any price you like as long as you make me these clothes.", you spoke as you looked at him. Your sentences were short, firm, and held all the information Gojo needed in order to be less scared of you.

Gojo felt your glare on him as he carefully took the papers, which were all seperately in a nead folder. He turned the pages of the small folder. the dresses had an interesting design, and he liked the art style.

He looked up to you to ask you a question, but there was no trace of you. He looked around. No goth girl.

He sighed as he looked at the papers again. 'I think she drew them...? Her art style reminds me of a manga I've read...ballroom e youkoso! Wait, is she maybe a ballroom dancer?!'

The boy flipped through your pages again. He tried looking for something that could maybe more hold information, maybe other colours, other than black, dark blue, dark teal, dark red, or dark green...but nothing.

All he saw were dresses he's never seen before, and your...phone number?!

He blushed at the thought of a goth girl giving him her number, but he had to stay strong. He quickly went home after checking the pulse of the delinquents. (Un)fortunately, they were still very much alive.

...

"Oh, you mean gothicc_attic! We follow each other on social media...Wait, she's a ballroom dancer?!", Marin's excited voice echoed in the empty hallways of the school as she gasped.

'did she call herself "thicc" because of her body..? She does have thick thighs, though...', he thought as he looked up to the ceiling a feint blush dusting his cheeks.

"Yes, that's what I've been thinking of too...", he yawned, having circles under his eyes.

Gojo rubbed his eyes sleepily. He was still thinking about your dresses, after all. And as he fell asleep, he fantasized about dancing with you. Waltz, tango, and cha cha. These were all the dances Gojo knew at the moment.

But he wanted to know more about you. How come you seeked his help instead of a professional? Or how you beat up those guys...were you also a delinquent? A member of a gang?

He didn't know, but he wanted to meet you soon. He couldn't bring it in himself to text you though. What if...what if he said the wrong thing?

Ah...he was overthinking stuff.

"She gave me her number...I think it'd be good to-"

"You have her number?! Why didn't she give me her number?? I thought we were friends??", she exclaimed outraged.

Gojo deadpanned at her before thinking about the conversation he had with you. You were calm, quiet, and you talked to him like he was a person who was close to you...a trusted person.

"hm...I don't know...", he murmured. Gojo wanted to hear your soft and calm voice again.

"Have you actually ever met her?", he asked as he checked out your social media. His eyes bulged out of his sockets.

'WHAT THE HELL?! She has many times more followers than Kitagawa!?', he thought when he saw the mil next to the follower number.

"Nope, I never met her. I actually started following her because of her profile picture, and because of her posts. I think goths are awesome!", she exclaimed, pointing towards one of your selfies. You had another bored expression on your face as you held a wine glass, but the liquid looked more like blood than wine.

'Is she a vampire...?', he thought as he looked at the caption.

gothicc_attic 1.696.969.696 people liked this post "Drinking that bitch's blood after she bullied me." #killyourbully #fuckbullies #herbloodtasteslikeshit #justlikehertasteinmen #gothicc_attic

That post had many likes, and Gojo looked at your caption with a terrified expression. He looked at Marin for explanation, which she of course had.

"Ohh, yeah, those were the dark ages...long story short, there was this girl, Rika Shinkamu, who just liked to bully and one-up people whenever she heard something interesting. Of course, she'd lay eyes on our goth girl-" 'our goth girl???' "-and try to cyber bully her, bringing her down and hurting her. But, gothicc_attic was not one to scare Rika, no. She exposed Rika on all her wrongdoings, called out that Rika had done BBL on her butt, tits and lips and even hacked into Rika's phone and posted pictures of Rika being together with our goth girl's ex."

Gojo needed a moment to think about what Marin said. "But how come she said that she was drinking Rika's blood?"

"I don't know if she said the truth. But believing her would be more fun, no?!", Marin said happily, and Gojo rubbed his temple.

...

Hello? Here is Gojo Wakana. I looked at your designs and they're very pretty :D I hope I don't bother you with some questions?

Gojo looked at the text messages he sent. 'I hope I won't make a fool out of myself...'

Suddenly, his phone dinged.

Hello. Thank you for complimenting my designs. :} Thank you for contacting me. Ask ahead.

'Huh, she answered faster than I thought..', the boy thought before he asked some questions.

Okay, are you a ballroom dancer? What's your name? I like your dresses very much, but wouldn't something lighter be nice? All your dresses are dark, that's why I'm asking 😅

You were still online, but you didn't write anything for three minutes now. Gojo furrowed his brows. 'Did I maybe offend her..?'

I'm asking for a friend, she is a ballroom dancer. Attic. She doesn't like lighter stuff.

'Oh...hm...' Gojo typed again.

Are there any competitions soon? I'd like to know how much time I have left Also, could you maybe ask her if there are different types of fabric for dancers? Oh, and I also need measurements...😅

'Yeah, that's what I did with Marin. I measured her body, then we went shopping for wigs and fabric. Oh, she answered!'

The next competition is starting in six months. Some shops are ____, ____, and ____. I'll send the measurements to you later.

And you went offline. Gojo sighed as he looked at his Hina doll. "I think Attic is shy, when she said she's asking for a friend."

...

you were laying on your stomach, your face buried in your pillow as you screamed in delight and in a high pitched voice.

'HE LIKES MY DESIGNS HE LIKES MY DESIGNS HE LIKES MY DESIGNS AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!'

You quickly sat up as you hugged your pillow. 'I think he knows that it's actually me who's the dancer...asking for a friend..as if he'd fall for that. also... now how do I take measurements?'

You groaned in frustration.

---

Heya, thanks for readingg this post! if you have requests or want a second part, please like or tell me to tag you!

Read you in my next post!

[kruinka]

tell us more abt ur romfan au 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

omg than k u for enabling me so. this is what i want to draw

-isagi kicking ass (comically) -first meeting kaiser sae rin nagi -full body designs kaiser sae rin nagi isagi -shirayukimiya and the seven dwarves -individual kaiser sae rin nagi -kurona isagi hiori nanase besties REAL -kaiser backstory comic -sae pre angst -sae intimidating -crying rin -rin pre angst

but i feel like u are here for the kaiser lore instead so

sorry if nothing makes sense😭

in my silly little brain there is kaiser angst and his father is the pope (thanks mitzi) -kaiser but hes more fake and more bastard than canon the setting is divine power does not do well with magic ESPECIALLY in this nation bc it is a blessed land (real not clickbait) -the royal familys defining trait?? is golden hair that never fades and every 20 years someone with this golden blood will be blessed with stigmata -stigmata in this case means the deity of this land has chosen u to be the next ruler -so breaking news!! kaiser does not have stigmata he only has social stigma bc his mother was a naive witch that fell in love with the king -he still has the golden hair but its also "tainted" with blue from the bloodline of a witch so the hair colours are all natural babie🤩🤩🤩 -anyways his mom thought they would be fine if they just lived quietly in a corner of the palace but nope she dies lol -cue evil queen who does not like the concubine so she plots an assassination -michael kaiser, age 6, motherless -idk how to go deeper into explaining his backstory but i do have an image in my head that i feel like would be better if i drew it out instead -but ofc kaisers world view is now flipped -living quietly and hoping for peace doesnt work so he will live as if he were dead while plotting his grand murder spree -and also two years before the family die kill murder -one of his half siblings received a stigmata -but kaiser kills him anyways bc how would u keep ur faith when all ur life u have been mistreated by those who call themselves children of god -and then the stigmata appears on him and hes just 😟😟 -after claiming the throne he kicks out a bunch of ppl and starts establishing diplomatic connections with the magic tower (cue ness) -bc it is very obvious that its a good thing. to establish connections. but holy kingdom vatican city here doesnt do that bc they are held back by traditions and bias -so after that hes just known as a blasphemous child sitting on the throne -but theres a party of intellectuals and new nobles who support him so like kaisers not dead YET -stuff is messy, his bad rep spreads and rumours get twisted so now hes not only known as Tyrant Who Scammed God (partly real) -hes also somehow a Sadistic Villain That Hypnotizes You With Magic (also partly real)

now in the main story hes all 🤪😏😏but thats how he acts when there is something he wants (scammer mode) -deep down hes 😐😔😠emo irritated and thinks hes a bad person (he is a bad person) -he probably does feel guilty for killing his father and not being able to protect his mother -and like tries to convince himself that what he did was right but sometimes he thinks of his mother and wonders if this is what she wouldve wanted :/ -and sometimes he doubts his ability as a ruler bc his half sibling was the chosen one and not him -being compared to and discriminated throughout ur whole life does something to a man huh -so the insecurities and jealousy issues still apply🫶 -but he is actually quite capable bc what else would u do in ur free time other than study -if u were stuck in the palace and ur mom is dead and ur father is pathetic -i want kaisers character arc to be him actually having a proper meltdown now that his life is no longer Constantly In Danger -and at the end of the arc he finally feels happy to be here something something i havent thought of this part yet

ok so this is very long and its still just kaiser and idek if anything makes sense but i also have stuff for rin and sae and isagi going on in my head

idk if the old romfan rant i posted can still apply to the au thats in my head bc i changed some roles around

[viktorclawthorne]

Why I think the Garp, Koby, and Helmeppo side plot in opla is great - a silly little essay

This includes One Piece Live Action spoilers as well as a bit of Marineford

B4 we start: this is all just my opinion and thoughts I had while watching the live action.

I might've gotten some stuff wrong, or you may disagree with me. Also, English isn't my first language

I'm not expecting anyone to actually see this, I just need to write it down

Firstly, I find the choice of including Koby and Garp more early on very interesting, they did a great job showcasing the corruption within the Marines and also how toxic and even abusive Garp is (Helmeppo literally says so).

Koby is the first character we see be friends with Luffy, making us like and empathize with him. They go separate ways and after that, they parallel each other in many ways; Koby has a very strong sense of justice, just like Luffy, He wants to protect people, which Luffy is shown to do a lot. Other than Koby however, Luffy prioritizes his freedom, while Koby joins the Marines because he believes he can protect people that way.

They tell each other to “Be a good Pirate” and “Be a good Marine”, With their similarities Koby serves as a great tool to show throughout the season how corrupt the marines are, especially compared to the freedom of pirates like Luffy.

We meet Mihawk in the context of him getting a call from Garp, immediately showing the connection between Marines and Pirates. When this gets explained to Koby - and therefore also the viewer - he first realizes how corrupt the system of the Marines is. Helmeppo explains: “Warlords exist, so the marines don't have to do the dirty work”.

In Shells Town we’re led to believe that Helmeppo is “stupid and bad” and Koby is “smart and good” but later on we learn that Helmeppo was aware of how the marines work from the start and therefore wasn't enthusiastic about joining, his rank, or his duties like Koby was. When Koby finally learns the truth, he considers quitting, showing how far from his ideal of protecting citizens the navy is.

Garp literally says himself that as a marine, you operate in a cruel and unfair system and have to compromise your morals and ideals (which is why all marines are inherently immoral). He also states he could have been fleet admiral (aka highest-ranking marine) but turned it down bc he would “have to do it their way” and it would “take away his freedom” which shows his similarities to Luffy and Dragon. It is also bullshit bc he HAS to mostly do it their way, all Marines serve the world government / celestial dragons and not the people, which therefore means you cannot be free within the Marines.

In the Liveaction we see Garp let Luffy go, which is his idea of “doing things his way”, he seems to think by declining to be fleet admiral he keeps at least some degree of his autonomy; however, I personally think he is being ignorant, wanting to ignore how functioning in a corrupt system can never be moral, and you inherently lose your freedom.

Garp still believes the marines are necessary “to protect order” so he can't completely disagree with the system, clearly setting him apart from pirates like Luffy or Roger and the revolutionary army (who of course exist in contrast to the marines, showing and, well, rebelling against their cruelty).

Zeff points out the similarities between Luffy and Roger to Garp, who then mentions how Roger died, implying he’s just trying to protect Luffy. Garp seems to have a twisted view on protection; since he believes it is wrong as well as dangerous to be a pirate he physically abused Luffy from a young age, trying to stomp out his dream and make him follow in Garp's footsteps (same goes for Ace and somewhat Sabo of course).

This is also shown by how he acts in Marineford where he first tries to stop Luffy but then lets him through, isn't able to kill Ace, and has to be held back in order to not attack Akainu. Deep down, he seems to really care for those whom he considers Family, which clashes with his belief that Pirates are inherently immoral / bad.

I do believe his pursuit of Luffy throughout OPLA wasn't just him testing Luffy, as he states at the end. Garp gets really mad when he finds out Luffy has become a pirate, and still really wants to make him into a marine. The scene with Zeff would've also not been necessary, I think Garp really intends to protect Luffy (like Ace).

When he sees Luffy’s determination, however, he accepts that he can’t change him, showing that Luffy's strong will is more important to Garp than protecting him. This is also supported by the events in Marineford when Garp lets Luffy pass after seeing his resolve.

The moment Koby decides to stay in the Marines, he accepts that he’ll have to compromise his dream and agree to give up his original morals to some degree.

However, he’s still very similar to Luffy, and at this point also mirrors the “good” sides of Garp. He questions if they should really go after Luffy and stands up for his own beliefs when he gets the order to arrest the strawhats.

This way Koby (as well as Helmeppo, who does the same) showcases the corruption and unfairness of the marines because not like him the other marines present follow the irrational orders of their superior blindly.

Garp states at the end of OPLA that following orders doesn't make you a good marine, following your code does. He congratulates Koby and Helmeppo for standing up for what they believe is right, even when their orders said the contrary.

Concluding it’s safe to say that Garp, Koby, and even Helmeppo all show similarities to Luffy, they have strong beliefs, disagree with the way the marines are run and even go against their orders because of this. Showing these three as the side plot in OPLA drives the point Home how corrupt, immoral, and unfair the Marines are, and with the context of the world government and Celestial dragons, this gets even more weight.

[piratekane]

reading wrap-up

I didn't do a Reading Wrap-Up(TM) in February so maybe I'll do two months now. Here's the stuff I read between February 1 - March 31 and my brief and unsolicited feelings on them.

Summary: The queer was strong these two months. But like my brother days, squinting off into the distance: "Could be, hmmm. More."

February: A big book month. I had a vacation this month and read A Lot. I don't remember the days, just the page counts. Almost all my books were bangers this month though!

Top mentions in no particular order:

Faebound by Saara El-Arifi - umm, impeccable. A 5 star read. This book was masterful. The magic was clever and if you were doing some close reading, there was a special reward for you. There's a neat plot twist at the end I didn't see coming but just enhanced the story even further when I went back to read a little. Good character work, good pacing. My chief complaint: this is a trilogy series and it just came out. How will I wait?! 5/5 stars

The Kamogawa Food Detectives by Hisashi Kashiwai (translated by Jesse Kirkwood) - this was an adorable story of a father and daughter detective agency that hunts for food. You tell them your favorite meal, what you remember is in it, the person who made it for you, and they hunt down the ingredients and make your dish for you, replicating it as best as they can. Each patron had emotional reasons for hunting down their favorite meals and it was all heartwarming. The food sounded delicious. This was such a great and cute read.

The Burning Kingdoms books by Tasha Suri (The Jasmine Throne and The Oleander Sword)- how did I not read this sooner?! Why did it take me so long?! Why did I read all 1000+ pages in two days? It was worth it. Truly. I am desperate for the third book because I need to know how this goes for Priya and Malini especially after- Well, never mind. After that. Please let it be November already. 5/5 stars

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake - again, here I am late to the party. But what a party. I fell in love with Astrid in Delilah Green Doesn't Care and was so excited to see her story continue. Astrid, you disaster, I am so glad you got your happy ending with a soft butch who is good with her hands. After that fucking man, you deserve the world. And you're so disgustingly in love. Love that for you, truly. Keep it up, girl. 4/5 stars

Queer rating: good. 13 out of 15 books were sapphic. Go me.

March: A small book month. I was so emotionally tapped this month that I spent a lot of nights doom-scrolling and making sure my dog was breathing instead of reading. April will be better!

Top mentions in no particular order:

Lies We Sing to the Sea by Sarah Underwood - this was just some great mythology stuff. I was so deep into this story that I looked up, realized 90% of the book had flown by, and I wasn't sure how the hell Underwood was going to wrap it up. But she did! And it was such a great ending! I mean, I was sad and elated and I think that's how you're supposed to leave a book when you love the characters and their journey is earned and realistic. It was also not too myth heavy, which I liked. Pesky curses, though. They'll fuck you right up. 4.5/5

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner - I love a good romcom to break up the heavy stuff. And I love adversaries-to-lovers. And I love watching soccer. So basically this was a great book to scratch those itches. Much smuttier than I thought it was going to be and I had to put it down once to be like, well they certainly did that, but overall I had a fun time reading this and my wife bought me Mistakes Were Made by Wilsner for another brain cleanser (maybe. I've heard *things*). 4/5

Queer rating: "Could be, hmmm. More." 2 out 7 books. Come on, self.

[which-star]

What are your thoughts on Silk 2023 #4, especially in regards to Saya and Max? I am keeping this vague in case you haven’t read it yet.

I just read it! I didn't pick up this issue because I wasn't feeling the cover, and, boy, has this gone in a direction I wasn't expecting it to. Kim's Silk runs so far have been largely hindered by the fact that they're minis. She needed more time to flesh out the themes she wanted to tackle in Age of the Witch and similarly I think she needs more time for Nightmare Boulevard. But with what we got -- since Marvel isn't going to give any non-iconic/not-a-safe-bet character an ongoing at this point -- I think there were some interesting ideas floating around!

[Spoilers for Silk 2023 up to #4]

To quote myself like two months ago in a discord chat, Goo's intro to Saya was very fun and flirty but we still saw that hard streak under her: blowing up Kasha, leaving Silk behind, etc. I said back then that if Kim could establish a motive that made sense, we had a potentially more interesting villain. And that happened, didn't it?!

Saya's motive makes sense, and I think it's very compelling with the two pages we got! A last-ditch effort to please your dad who you thought was dead the whole time? Okay, so we're working with very normal family dynamics, I see. I think this is such an intriguing twist to what happens to Saya after the 2021 run, and I do think that Kim consistently has solid ideas that can flesh out characters really well from what I have read of her (Silk and Tiger Division - note that I say ideas only (relevant later)). But having that cause for Saya's obsession would've landed better without Max's dialogue. The switch from Saya working to please her father to Max sort of threw the vibe off for me, because his dialogue was so on the nose. I would've rather wallowed in Albert's feelings at being left behind, which was far more interesting and compelling to me.

Casting both siblings as parallels I really liked fundementally if not the execution! Considering (if I remember correctly) that Max is the older brother I was not expecting that at all. It's a good utilization of the 2021 run where Max was nowhere to be seen in Silvermane's account of Saya's childhood, since that hammers home how irrelevant he feels (not even mentioned in the flashback about his sister!). I wish we saw him actually be a big brother more, trying and failing to guide Saya and the culture differences from being brought up in different countries. I wish this run was longer so we could see Saya's breaking point in real-time along with the Moon sibs' dynamic being shaken up more.

Kim suffers from being limited to 5 issues, but I don't think the thought truly hit me till issue #4. Seeing Saya's motivation and Max's info-dumping really really opened up my eyes to what could've been and left me wanting more than we got. So far I've been enjoying with the dream sequences and Albert playing a bigger role, but this issue sorta threw everything off-kilter because it felt lazy, everything is just stated, and we're left the fill in the holes ourselves -- except there's too many holes and all I have is a bucket. The ideas are there, the thoughts are there, but not enacted upon whether it's because of lack of space (only 5 issues) or just on the nose writing.

Cindy is also not a character made for a mini, she's literally built on internal struggles and needs time to THINK pls and ty xoxo. God, everything would be golden if 2021 was a transitional 5 issue run and the stuff we got after that were all 12+ issue runs diving deep into Cindy's journalist investigations of the witch, thoughts on identity, and then Saya breaking under pressure and the dreamscapes. Because I really like all the runs' plots and attempted themes!! I'm more frustrated at what could've been, so sorry this ask turned into a critique/complaint-fest!! I think Emily Kim has a lot of good ideas, and I don't want to condemn her as a bad writer if it's management fucking her over. Plus, it's so early in her career and she's improved a lot already compared to last year's run, it's just that Marvel keeps doing minis and it's killing the fun of comics. Even seasoned comic writers are struggling with the minis, I've heard, so I'm inclined to believe it's corporate fault. I just wish she had the space or time (or something?) to make those thoughts truly great and not just ideas floating around untethered.

Side note: Cindy and her theme of trying to lowkey save all her villains is something I deeply enjoy and I hope it continues for the final issue and everything that comes after!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Toon Patrol x Reader || Drabbles

Plots / Includes: Being exes with members of the Toon Patrol but still being in love with each other.

Greasy x Reader- Good old ‘sex with the ex’… always landing you in awkward situations when people find out. Which is especially difficult to avoid when he lives with his entire crew and you run into them trying to sneak out!He comes to your rescue but it doesn’t really help the others not be suspicious...

Psycho x Reader- You’re on your first date with another guy, Psycho finds out, and drags his whole patrol to spy on you and probably wreak havoc.

Smartass x Reader- As a Toon Doctor (Obviously, you can’t bring them back to life one they’ve been dipped and you’re virtually useless when it comes to broken limbs and stuff like that- but you’re really great for illnesses, common sense, and also psychotherapy), and one of the best in the business, Smartass used to always come to you while you were together, to get the boys treated- he got a huge discount, after all.

He still brings them to you, when he’s really worried. You’re the only doctor he can trust. Actually you’re one of the only people he can trust, period.

Stupid x Reader- Stupid sees you trip and hurt yourself at your place of work (The Ink and Paint club, a common hang out for them) and panics- he won’t leave you alone, now, and honestly you want to hate it… but its really nice. This big softie is the only one who could dote on you, a tough bitch, and make you like it.

Wheezy x Reader- You and Wheezy, highschool sweethearts, run into each other one afternoon and catch up.

Warnings: Smutty references (Guess who??) and some falling in Stupid's (Physically, onto the floor. You get a cut on some glass but its not that bad at all). Mostly very fluffy though ^^

Greasy:

Oh… what the fuck is wrong with me?! Is your first thought when you wake up, drowsily look around and realise that your resolution not to have anything to do with Greasy anymore did not pan out.

As you get up and methodically find your clothes and get dressed, trying to make yourself presentable enough to go out into the world and pretend that you have dignity. You never used to be ashamed of being with Greasy, absolutely not! Your friends told you it was a bad idea, and people talked behind your back, but… You loved him then. It didn’t matter what anyone else said.

But you’re broken up, now! So it is shameful, and you do feel it, and this… this was a really bad idea.

The 3rd bad idea of the week, actually. Groaning, you bow your head as you pull on your socks. Yes, you feel very ashamed. Where is your self-control? God, huffing and tugging on your boots, you grab your jacket and head towards the bedroom door. Never again. 

At the door, you find yourself hesitating, though. Afterall, you did love him once… it hurts to leave him again. Without telling him. Turning your head you see him all curled up under the covers, clutching them over his shoulder and snoozing peacefully and take a deep breath. Go, you tell yourself, twisting the door knob and turning on him. Get out. Go home. Greasy’s just an easy lay that knows what you like- that’s all. You’ll find someone else like that, someone nice.

Maybe they’ll have an actual job. Or a house. Maybe a pool, even- you always wanted a pool! Yeah.

… Yeah. Yes, right. Go now-

Finally you push the door open and step out- and almost immediately down the hall you’re coming face-to-face with the craziest eyes you’ve ever seen. It shocks you, and that shameful feeling starts to bubble up into your throat again, but you quickly force yourself to not look as caught-out as you feel; Flash Psycho and Wheezy a smile that hopefully looks relaxed. “Oh- hi guys! Psycho, Wheezy… well, I gotta go, nice seeing you, bye!- “

You try to swerve by them, but Psycho rushes and pops up right in front of you again, tilting his head to the side. “What are you doing here, Y/N?~ “

“I was just… helping Greasy with something. We’re still friends, so- “

“Some friend,” Wheezy pipes in, rounding you and gesturing with his eyes to your underwear- shoved inside your pocket.

… Crap on a cracker. Subtly shoving those down further so they can’t be seen, hoping to god Psycho didn’t see that because you so cannot answer those questions that he would have, you take another deep breath- and try to exit again. “Yeah well this’ll probably be the last time you guys see me for a while… “

“Oh, why?~ “ Psycho asks, eyes still on your face. He always makes eye contact when he talks to you, and it used to freak you out but seeing him so often got you acclimatised to it - like Wheezy’s smell, Smartass’ harsh tone, and Stupid’s dumb questions, - … except for times like this, when you’re hiding a dirty secret. You can barely look at him.

Glancing at Wheezy, usually the more laid-back one, for assistance but there’s a tiny little smirk on his face and you know he’s enjoying this far too much. God, you can hear your heartbeat in your ears now- “Uhh, because- “

“Y/N was just bringing me my record player back from their house!~ I needed help assembling it again, that’s why they won’t be coming back again- no need.” Greasy’s suddenly beside you, a hand momentarily on your lower back before he remembers- and removes it. He narrows his eyes at Psycho, who looks displeased at the practical answer, lips turning down in a scowl. “Is that good enough for you, snoop?”

… A moment passes, before Psycho gives a heaving sigh. “Yeah, I guess… “

“Excelente, now vamos. Its too early in the morning for your hostigamiento. Shoo.”

“Fine… “Psycho gives a sniff, smelling the air, before slumping off defeatedly towards the kitchen where you can hear Smartass yelling at Stupid. Wheezy hangs back, though, looking at the two of you all-too-knowingly; Puffing away on his cigarettes.

Greasy raises his brows at Wheezy, expectantly. “Que, fumador?? Problema?”

“… I thought you two broke up, eh?” He teases, looking for a rise out of his friend- or you. Whichever comes first. And it’s definitely going to be you, you think, as the discomfort rises inside your body. You’re just opening your mouth to say something, probably something incriminating (Though you aren’t too sure what could be more incriminating than what Wheezy already saw… ) but once again Greasy is your hero as he places a hand on your arm to gently stops you. It relaxes you more than you’d like to admit.

“We did, but Y/N is a pleasant person and agreed to help me out one last time. Last time that I checked- that wasn’t a crime.” Why does it make you heart flutter when he says that about you? Get your head in the game here Y/N, good lord.

“You guys have done a whole lot worse, for sure.” You add, crossing your arms while Greasy nods.

“Sí, so Wheezy, tell me, what are you still doing here, huh?”

Wheezy doesn’t look convinced at all, and why would he be after seeing your fricken knickers hanging out of your pocket? But its clear that neither of you are going to say anything to him, so he shrugs and heads off. “Alright. I’ll see y’ at breakfast, Grease.”

“See you.”

After Wheezy’s finally disappeared and the coast is clear, you let out a heavily relieved sigh and a little giggle, turning to Greasy- him still holding you. “That was close.”

“Mm,” He nods, eyes still pretty dark; But losing that meanness he was using against Psycho and Wheezy. “The boss would have been even worse if he’d found out… “ 

“Oh, yeah, I could imagine.” Your faces are close together but you almost don’t even notice- that’s just the way the two of you are together. You even kind of forget that you shouldn’t be, anymore.

Greasy then gives a smirk, shaking off that last bit of gangster and you get your silly pervert back. “Well, all is well that ends well, right?~ “ He quips, eyes flickering up and down your body making you roll your eyes. Okay, time to go.

Laying a hand on his shoulder, you give a squeeze. “… I’m gonna get going, now. Before you get any ideas.”

“I’m not the only one with ideas, querida~ “

No, he’s not. That’s why you have to leave, now! Flashing a tight smile, you lean over gently and give a final kiss to your ex-lover this time- a slow kiss, with tongue- then turn away and leave, feeling his very familiar, heavy gaze all over you before you close the door between you both.

… Hopefully, it won’t happen again, you think unsurely as you continue down the street.

Psycho:

“This way this way!!” Psycho hisses, sneaking around the side of the restraint considerably more subtly than the others- Smartass is behind him and keeps on saying how this is a stupid idea, Wheezy’s just after him leaving a disgusting smoke cloud behind him, Stupid’s trailing behind as he struggles to get through the place without hitting chairs or tables, and they lost Greasy somewhere at the front where the hostess was.

“I want my objection noted, Straight Jacket.” Smartass grumbles when they stop sneaking, Psycho having found a prime spying position behind a tall tray trolly- he could see Y/N, but they couldn’t see him. At Smartass’ remark, Psycho gives a great, exasperated sigh; Rolling his eyes.

“Okay,”

Wheezy and Stupid join them then, Stupid huddling in behind them and seeing Y/N over their heads, and Wheezy leaning back against the wall to roll up and then light a new cigarette to add to the queue tucked into the brim of his hat. “What are we looking at?? Oh, there’s Y/N! HI Y/- “

When Stupid tries innocently to yell and great his friend who’s peacefully chatting away with some guy at one of the tables, Psycho pretty much climbs him in order to clamp his mouth shut with both of his straight jacket covered hands. “Shoosh shoosh shoosh!!”

“You’ll give away the position, meat head!” Smartass snaps.

“Oh no, then we could go home… that’d be a shame… “Wheezy mutters, putting his lighter back away in his pocket and receiving a nasty glare from Psycho.

“We can’t go home! We have to watch Y/N!~ “

“Y’know, this could be why you two broke up.” Smartass pipes up once again, shrugging. He doesn’t notice the slow, venomous look he receives from Psycho. “… Drama… “

Wheezy nods.

“Shh!” Hissing, Psycho effectively shuts them both up for now- before turning to Stupid; Staring deeply into his eyes. “Okay, we’re spying on Y/N, okay? They can’t know we’re here. So you cant say hi. Okay??”

Stupid pauses for a moment, thinking slowly, before nodding and smiling. Psycho takes his hands away and lowers himself back down to the ground. “Ohhh, I got it… “He giggles, before looking out to the table again. “Psycho, they look pretty tonight.”

“Yeah, I know~ “There’s a dreamy look on Psycho’s face that makes Smartass feel sick.

“Pull yourself together Psycho- “

“Shhhhh,” Psycho cut him off, his straight raiser in front of his lips. “And, no.”

“So, what’s the game plan here?” Smoke slips out from between his lips after a particularly strong intake, as Wheezy asks the question; His voice not having much more profundity than a kettle when the tea hot water is boiled. “Cuz if we’re just stalking them, I could be out the back. Nothing better than a few smokes out in the cold.”

Smartass bristles at this, scrunching up his nose at the 20 different cigarettes lit on his comrade currently. “A few??” Cobalt grey irises flash him a glare for the comment, but Wheezy doesn’t argue. Why would he?

“Uhh… “Tasting his own mouth in thought, Psycho tears his eyes away from his ex-mate and taps his nose with the straight razor a couple of times while Stupid continues to keep watch- being able to see over the trolley. “… I dunno~”

This them Smartass neck practically snaps turning to Psycho. “You don’t kno- “

“… I just wanted to see them!~ “ Psycho doesn’t seem bothered by Smartass’ irritation at all, only giving a shrug and smile back. “And I’m glad we have~ “

“Great! Now let’s go home- “

“Awww, but- “

“Wait, guys… “The 3 heads look up to Stupid, then, when he speaks and his voice sounds… concerned? Unsure? Uncomfortable?? “Does that look like Y/N’s having a good time, to you??”

They all look to Y/N, now, and immediately the problem is obvious. There aren’t any tablecloths on the tables so they’re able to see right underneath them- and whoever Y/N’s date is, is feeling very handsy, tonight. Not exactly Greasy level, but definitely noticeable. He keeps putting his hand on their thigh and they keep removing it. When the man catches Y/N’s hand and holds it in a tight grip, Smartass and Wheezy look quickly to Psycho.

There isn’t an expression on his face, but his eyes look to be… swirlier, then usual. And his teeth are grinding. And theirs a shakiness to the paw holding onto his straight razor that makes them nervous.

“Okay, okay, Psycho… that looks bad. But why dontcha take some deep breaths, we don’t needta get kicked outta another restaurant, we can kill him some other time- “

All of a sudden a loud, terrible crash and clatter steals everyone’s attention, coming from the other side of the room, closest to the entrance, and Wheezy who is closest to that side slaps a paw over his face when he sees what has happened. Or who. “Fucks sake… “

“Aghhhhhhhhhh I knew we shouldn’ta left him alone!!” Smartass snaps, Greasy’s unconscious body laying by the upended table he was thrown into, various fancy, expensive foods and condiments dirtying his zoot suit. “Who’d he hit on!?”

“With our luck it was the owner’s wife.” Wheezy shakes head, twisting a cigarette between his teeth and thinking how he could’ve been freezing his balls off outside with 6 packs of Marlboros right now- but no. Of course not.

Giving a sigh, Smartass turns back to the weasel whose fault it is that they’re even there in the first place. “Well, Psycho, looks like we have to go deal with this mess, now…- PSYCHO!?” When he sees immediately that he’s no longer there, he looks swiftly over to your table, where Psycho can be seen creeping to through the others while everyone’s attention is on the scene Greasy created in the front. “When did he get over there!?!?”

“As soon as you looked away, sir!” Stupid informs, giving a pride-filled salute, to which Smartass’ mouth drops open. He is this close to-

Then Psycho pounces on your date and that’s the straw that broke the camels back. “THAT’S IT.” Smartass takes out his gun, stepping out from behind the trolley. Time to whip these idiots into shape-

Smartass:

After you’re finished getting Wheezy sorted in your make-shift medical bay (The spare bedroom in your apartment, just with a white plastic sheet over the floor and a curtain around the bed), you tell him to get some rest and then go out to let Smartass know he’s going to be fine.

Honestly, though, you should have known it wasn’t going to be simple. You’ve known the man for years- so, clearly, it should have been obvious that he would be freaking out in your livingroom.

As soon as you close the door to the medical bay behind you, you hear the tell-tale noises of a Smartass Weasel break down. Yelling, clicking from hi gun and the safety going on and off, pillows and couch cushions flying across the room and going OOMPH hard against the walls. Quickly you rush in, and see exactly what you would imagine.

There are Greasy and Stupid hiding behind your couch playing go fish, there’s a pile of every soft furnishing you own by the doorway that you’re standing in, there’s Psycho sitting cross-legged by his boss just watching the scene, and there’s Smartass- heaving, clenching, and ranting. Another pillow is thrown, hitting the wall right by your head with the loudest oomph sound you thought possible, and you snap into action. Okay!!

“Smartass,” You snap, approaching him sternly. He doesn’t seem to hear you, but he does notice you when you grab him by the arms and give him a stern look in the eye. “Smartass.”

“What!?”

“Come with me, now.”

Then you don’t give him a moment to thin about it, just drag him by the hand out of your apartment, down 4 stairwells, through the buildings dingy lobby and then out into the street.

Its freezing cold outside, being the dead of winter, and theirs fluffy white snow heaped up in piles at the edges of buildings, in gutters and random piles where people brushed it off their cars. There’s also a thin sheet of ice all over the ground- which is good, you think. If Smartass tries to storm off like an idiot, he’ll slip and bust his ass for it.

Out here, you figure, he can cool off a bit- because you were not having that scene in your livingroom. You understand better than anyone how Smartass feels about the others getting sick, but that doesn’t mean he gets away with it around you.

Now, you watch him glare around at the street and grumble incomprehensible curses under his breath, his breath visible in the cold, before letting go of his hand and tugging him to look at you by his tie. In a still stern, but gentle tone, you tell him that Wheezy will be just fine. 

“Ehhh and how do you know that?” He sneers, before continuing when you raise a brow at him because- how would you, the doctor, know if he’s going to be alright?? “Those maroons can’t stop laughin’ when they’re healthy! What if one of ‘em tells him a joke, and he’s too fucken weak to constrain himself!?”

“That’s not going to happen!”

“How doya figure?” He rolls his eyes, crossing his arm over his chest, refusing to look you in the face.

“The medical room’s a ‘No Greasy, Stupid or Psycho’ zone right now- and they know that.” They argued but they listen to you- partly because you used to be with the boss and partly because you can be pretty damn scary when you want to be. “I promise, Smarty, I’m gonna get Wheezy through this. And besides- its just the flu. As long as you guys all follow my rules- he’ll be out in a week, tops.”

“You guys… all???” Smartass asks, then, deeply sceptical at the idea that he has to follow any rules.

“Yes, you guys all.”

Giving a huph, the breath coming out in a big warm puff of white before dissipating into the air around you, Smartass’ shoulders finally relax a bit. “… I don’t need to follow rules, I’m the friggen boss here… “

You shake your head. “Not in my house.” In your house, you are the emperor. No exceptions. “Now, take a couple deep breaths. Then we’ll go back inside and get something warm to drink.”

“I don’t need to take- “One glare from you, and Smartass heaves a childish groan and takes a few great, careful breaths. “… there. Can we go back in now???”

Nodding, you gesture for him to head back towards the door. There’s still something tense about him, though- well, there’s always something tense about him. But this is different, so you take a deep breath of your own and when you’re both stepping into the stairwell inside the lobby, you slip your arm through the crook of his and when he turns to give you a funny look – something between surprise and irritation, - you give him a soft one right back. “… Wheezy really is going to be fine, Smartass. I’m going to take care of him.”

To the untrained eye, like literally anyone - human or cartoon, - glancing at the Toon Patrol, it would look as if Smartass dislikes his team. He yells at them and scowls at them and even throws them across the room sometimes- but you know better. He loves them. The bastard just doesn’t have a clue how to show it.

Under your touch and your gentle eyes Smartass practically melts, allowing himself to slip into the insecure form he’s always hiding by being a violent asshole as long as its just you and him alone in the stairwell together. He nods. “… thanks, Y/N.”

Stupid:

“Oof!” Is the sound you make just before you go down, clattering to the floor like deck of cards- the chair you tried to grab to stabilize yourself upending and the platter of drinks you were carrying spreading all over the floor. “Oh no… Ugh… “This is going to cost you… and your dumb boss is not going to be happy…

While you’re getting up and wiping your beer-covered arms on your work pants, you mentally tally up the bill you’re going to receive and give a groan, brushing yourself down. Its definitely more then a nights work.

Why do people have to order such expensive fucking drinks? Why do drinks have to be so fucking expensive? If people want to ruin their lives, just let them have at it, for all you care. It means you’ll get better shifts, at least…

You’re just kneeling down again with your platter, with your found under a table, to pick up the bigger pieces of shattered glass before you grab the broom and mop to clean up the rest of the mess, when you hear a scuffle coming rapidly towards you from behind. Oh, fuck, what is it!?-

Turning around to look over your shoulder, your eyes immediately lose the edge and go round seeing Stupid and some of his mates close behind. As soon as he gets to you he lifts you up off the floor like you’re just a sack of potatoes to him, a feeling you used to love when you were with the big guy and honestly still really enjoy, and sets you on a stool by the bar. His worried gaze, tongue caught adorably between his teeth and eyebrows furrowed seriously, takes you all in - from head to toe, - and you just feel warm inside. No one has ever cared about this beer wench like Stupid did- or does, apparently.

Why did you break up again?... Oh, yeah. And you should probably put a stop to this, before he gets any ideas. It was nice while it lasted, at least.

“Stu- “Carefully, more gently then you would touch any other man that grabbed you in this hell-place, you remove Stupid’s hands from your waist and return them to him; One folded over the other. “I’m fine. You don’t have to do this, just go back to your night. I have to clean this mess up- “

“You’re bleeding!” He insists, one of those hands you just escaped from coming back out just and gently and taking your hand in his and- oh, yeah. There is a cut in your palm. How’d you miss that?...

“Oh… well, its not that bad. I’ll deal with it after I get those big chunks of glass off the floor.” Taking your hand back, you attempt to hop off the stool and go back to work- but Stupid is not having any of your shit, tonight.

“No.” His voice is firm, and your jaw drops. Is this man seriously telling you what to do?? You?!??... Wheezy and Greasy, behind him, share a nervous look for their friend. They know you, or they know your type- and neither of them would dare mess with you like this… but you surprise everyone when you just slowly plonk your ass back on the stool instead of slapping him. Okay…

Your demure-ness surprises even you, though it shouldn’t. Stupid always managed to make the beast inside of you purr, that’s what you liked about him.

“… Wheezy, no smoking inside. Get the fuck out.” You still snap, though, not because there is actually a no-smoking rule - which there isn’t, -, but because you need retain some kind of control over the situation. Even so, though, you don’t take your attention away from Stupid as he lifts your hurt hand up to closely eyeball the damage. “Stu it’s really not that bad. I’ll just stick a bandage on the little bitch and go on… “

“I’ll do it for you. And then you have to sit for 10 whole minutes- that’s what the boss always tells me after I hit my head! We’ll play Go Fish, too! You like Go Fish!” The bright grin Stupid gives you then, along with the little knock he gives to his forehead, is just so adorable you don’t have the heart to explain to him that this is a totally different injury. You just let him move in closer to the bar beside you and loudly ask for a band aid.

After all… you do like Go Fish… when you play it with him…  

Stupid carefully covers your little cut with bandages a moment later, his tongue sticking out of his mouth once again in attentiveness as he wraps the material around and around your hand- not too tight, but not loose at all either. And you watch him carefully, the moment together somehow… quiet, and personal between just you two, even in the middle of a club on Friday night. You miss him.

“… there! All done!~ “ With a stern finger pointed to you but a sweet look on his face, Stupid then gives you careful instructions to take these off and change them or else you’ll get infection- Psycho told him all about infections one time and it traumatised him. He would not want that for you, he won’t allow it. “Now I’ll go find some cards! Stay sitting, and rest, okay?”

“Okay Stu… “You give a gentle smile, softer for him then for anyone. Even yourself.

He gives your sore hand a pat, leaving it resting on your lap before going off in search. You’re left with his dumb patrol, and make the mistake of looking at Smartass.

There is a terribly smug look on his face, the sharp grin positively stretching from ear to ear, and you roll your eyes at him as you look away. “Oh, shut your whore mouth, douche.”

Wheezy:

“Oh… Wheezy!”

“Y/N??”

As soon as the two of you meet up with eachother in the middle of the train, as you were just getting on and he was sitting in the back puffing away, its like no time at all has slipped by where the two of you weren’t in contact. Like the last 20 years didn’t happen. You phase into old habits- fast. Like falling down a rabbit hole.

You end up sitting together in the back, so he can smoke and the two of you can catch up. He takes some of your grocery bags in his lap so you aren’t crushed under them while you explain college, and you softly brush smoke ash off his shoulder while he tells you all about the morons he’s livin’ with, now. Neither of you even flinch at the affection. It just feels right.

“So, where’re you headed? What stop you gettin’ off at?” Wheezy asks, after you’re both done going over last Christmas. For 4 years when you were teenagers, you two were glued together at the hip- it was scares to see the two of you apart. So your mother ended up just assuming Wheezy would be there at Christmas dinner… she still makes the pudding he likes even though barely anyone else eats it.

“Oh, just home with these bags. It’s my off day- no work. You??”

“Ehh,” He gives a shrug, cold eyes glancing away from you but coming back quickly, like he can’t bring himself to look away from you for long now. “I’m just riding the rails. The boss doesn’t like me stinkin’ up the house too much so I have to get out and smoke- ‘nd the view’s better here then our ‘backyard’, trust me.”

“… People watching,” You assume, and he nods. “… Weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on here?”

A smirk flashes quickly across his face, a raspy chuckle escaping. “Definitely, the clowns. Every once and a while a clown boards, and he’s just comin’ back from a gig I guess, and it’s the damn saddest thing you’ve ever seen. Old grease paint sweating down his face, spotty coat tucked under his arm, damp spot on the front of his shirt… sometimes they curse. Funniest shit ever.”

You shake your head, but you’re grinning and he loves it. “You’re still so mean!”

“Hey, they’re clowns… they’re s’posed t’ make ya laugh.”

Rolling your eyes, you take a look out the window to see which station you’re approaching. When you realise which one it is, you let out a sigh. This was nice while it lasted, at least… Really nice. “Well… this is my stop, here.”

“… Want some help?” Wheezy asks, after a moment where you thought that you would have to say goodbye. He gestures to the bags in both your arms, asking if he can help you carry them home.

“I- “You so desperately want to say yes. “I mean, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to! - “

“I do.” Is all he says, getting to his feet and woah… you forgot how tall he is. Oh boy-

“Okay cool!- “ You get up too, and head for the door with Wheezy behind you as the train comes to a stop. Its much more sudden than you thought it would be and you trip- almost losing your footing entirely and going DOWN- In fact you would have, you would have fallen and smacked your head right on a seat, but Wheezy catches you. “… damn.”

Its as natural as breathing, being pressed up close to him. You turn around carefully as the train comes to a full stop. Your arms full of grocery bags, his bags held in one arm at his side and the other around your waist from where he caught you.

There’s a moment, a very loud moment - your heart beating in your ears, - between the two of you that feels all-too-private and all-too-nice… before another damn smirk spreads across Wheezy’s face. “Still clumsy as fuck, huh?”

“Okay,” You shake your head, pushing him away from you and leading the way to the door as it opens. The fresh-ish air outside cools down your face and you take a deep breath of it- even if it is subway-air. “Mr Cool man- that was the train’s fault!”

“Yeahh, right… “

[sorrelpaws]

s6e5 spoilerz!!

actual post talking about the episode YIPPEE!!! I LIKED IT!!! for the most part! i’m gonna start with the junk i didn’t like, cause there’s not much of it and i need to get it out of my system. for starters the erm. incest plotline. i’m honestly not sure why the writers have such a tendency towards this stuff. usually they seem to be pretty smart with reusing jokes or plot threads, but this just. like aside from being uncomfortable and weird to watch it just makes me think “do you not have anything better?”. why is this the safest plot line to fall back on in these recent seasons? i also hated the tiktok references at the beginning. i think i generally just hate any sort of pop culture references because they tend to become dated very easily/quickly while also doing nothing for the episode, aside from ruining any kind of immersion. AND MORTYYYYY justice for my boy. they are excluding him on purpose !! WHY!!!! i can understand he wouldn’t have worked very well with this episode, but this season seems to really favor either Rick or Literally Any Other Smith. but ummm next week’s promo had morty in it so im holding out hope guys! here’s how morty can still win!

ok anyway now that i’m no longer harboring any deep rooted hatred... THE ANIMATION!!!!! it was very cool, especially in fight scenes. something i noticed a lot was rick’s hair and suit/tie moving as he twists and turns, and i thought that was such a nice detail. it’s really simple but it added lots for me. AND THE JUMPS!!! i love his extending limbs, especially near the end of the episode where he jumps around on a bunch of boxes and moves kind of like a slinky, SOO neat. my only gripe is with the cold open, where he eats his noodles with tube arms. i dunno, felt kinda weird and unnecessary. small thing though. summer and morty in the beginning were also surprisingly endearing, and it has made me realize my desperation to see more of those two hanging out.

OH BUT JERRY AND RICK’S DYNAMIC!!!! i loved them in this episode, and i liked how it was kind of continuing s5e5′s development(kinda of neat that they’re both the 5th ep of their respective seasons). they’re both kinda warming up to each other, and it’s cool to watch this petty, sarcastic and, at times, surprisingly functional friendship. like when they talk in the vent, jerry is genuinely upset and rick offers some mild level of comfort by trying to crack a joke. and when they find the monster and jerry says he’s not sure what’s going on, rick just explains it!!!!! which okay yeah is also just to feed the audience necessary info, but i think the fact that rick doesn’t throw any insults really shows his development(also autistic infodump moment teehee). kind of off topic, but the scene w/ jerry’s second transformation made me wonder what his parents think of rick. like they see/ know he does some weird wacky shit, but like ... how much do they really know? or care? from what we’ve seen of them, they appear... pretty neutral. “oh well our son’s father in law is a scientist, no biggie,”. which is interesting to me. kinda wanna see some proper lengthy interactions between the grandparents. also rick joking(???) about fucking jerry’s mom made me laugh. okay alsooo i’m pretty sure i saw someone mention this, but in order for rick’s “you will make a friend” fortune to come true he would also have to consider jerry his friend as well B)) very cute.

[theboarsbride]

Can I get some Wyrm's Bride thoughts/headcanons, please? (Sorry if this comes in twice, your ask box was acting a little weird earlier!)

OH MY GOSH OK IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE TO REPLY TO THIS COLLEGE/WORK HAS BEEN GETTING BUSY AND MY BRAIN ROT HAS BEEN DIRECTED ELSEWHERE HHHHHHH😭😭😭😔😔 I've been neglecting Grima and Tathareth, it's unfair-

OK GONNA TRY AND MAKE THIS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE AS IM CURRENTLY HALF AWAKE AND ALLERGIES ARE KICKIMG MY BUTT

BUT👏👏 Wyrm's Bride AU!! Kinda of a 'fairytale au' that's based off the fairytale Lindworm Prince and Russian film I Am Dragon! Grima is a beeg ole snake/lindworm creature, Tathareth is someone offered up as a sacrifice to him but PLOT TWIST he doesn't kill her and romance shenanigans ensue 😩💦

Grima became creature because of Sauruman because.... of course! Wizard is petty and mean enough to curse him like that lmao, probably as some sort of punishment for being a shitty spy in Rohan once the Fellowship shows up like the gang of absolute Giga Chad Madlads that they are😔😔😔

Never put TOO much thought into this curse but I love the idea of it being a 'man at night, creature during the day' !

Snake!Grima makes lots of gator sounds! The deep, growling purrs, especially. XD

Probably has a HOARD! Some small treasures, but mostly hoards stuff like books, scrolls, etc. Prefers bookish materials over finery, lowkey 🥺

In terms of like... inner turmoil Grima wants to try and separate HIMSELF from his Wyrm self. Sort of like he does in Serpentine Whispers, where there is Grima, a man who is cunning and has the capacity to do good (but chooses not to), and then there is Wormtongue, the sly, dark ugly and unwanted aspects of his character.

So in this AU there is Grima, the man, and the Wyrm, an embodiment and manifestation of everything awful about him

Tathareth is offered as a sort of sacrifice to him because elves of Lothlorien (or off brand Lothlorien in a separate fantasy setting lmao), in a moment of infinite wisdom, think that giving a giant Wyrm that made himself at home in some caves just on their realm's borders a maiden to "wed" (or eat lmao) would appease him......also they wanna make peace with the beeg scary lizard before it becomes a nuisance 😩💦....also they could slay him themselves but for plot convenience we'll just say that elves aren't privy to slaying dragons anymore

And she is given as a sacrifice since she's no (living) family to be remembered by and she makes no effort to be social, and create social bonds, with elves soooooooo needless to say she wouldn't be missed 😩😔

She gets all done did and elaborately dressed in a gaudy bridal gown of lace and gossamer and silks, wears a veil and jewelry adorned with bells to garner attention, wears wreaths and headdress made of various red flowers, wears gaudy red makeup, and spent the previous night drinking a FUCKTON of wine so her blood tastes sweet..... and she also has a blade hidden on her, a fancy bejeweled one, that she hopes to use to slaughter her wyrm husband

A whole procession ensues, including the elves bringing various elven treasures and luxury foods, even having Tathareth riding atop an elaborately adorned horse with the intention of Grima devouring it as an offering as well. LOOKS like a wedding procession, but the somber folk hymns being sung and dour atmosphere make it feel like one for a funeral.

Tathareth has a whole internal meltdown realizing how her people never truly cared for her, thinking so little of her that they throw her away to be eaten by a wyrm. Realizes that she must be undesirable and wretched if that's the case.

Grima never devours her (or the horse) and spares her life, but accepts her as an offering for a wife because 1) pretty lady and he feels bad 🥺 2) .......actually 1 is one of the only reasons because why not

Tathareth is too scared to really do anything, let alone try to slay him as she planned, so she just tries to hide and cry her feelings out

Nighttime comes and BAM! She meets human Grima😩

She believes him to be a prisoner of the Wyrm as well, so she begins to cling to him as a companion so she feels less alone 😔

Grima just tries to distance himself from his Wyrm self because he is terrified of being reminded of his shitty behavior lmao

So she gets sad whenever he leaves her during the day for reasons that are a mystery to her, buuuuuuutttt she gradually puzzles out that Grima and the Wyrm are one in the same because obviously lmao

Because it's quite the coincidence that Grima disappears in the day only to he replaced by the Wyrm, and vice versa

And because both exhibit melodramatic, sneaky, intelligent, and overall cold attitudes

But a friendship develops when Tathareth realizes that Grima ain't so bad 🥺

And friendship turns to love ofc😭😭😭🥺🥺

Love confession scene would deadass look something like this scene:

Tathareth wonders if she can heal him at all, but comes to terms that her powers as a healer can only go so far when it comes to healing black magic 😔

So Grima is snake forever

But they manage

As beeg snake and hippie elf wife lmao

HHHHSHSBSJJSSNJSKS IVE NOT THOIGHT OF THIS AU IN AGES OH MY GOSH HHHHHSBSBS

thank you SM for this ask, bro!!!!!🥺🥺🥺💛💛💛 I hope ya like my crazy aah rambling

[lomappreciationblog]

Overall Review for the LOM Anime

Well, all episodes of the LOM Anime has been released! So after watching everything, here are my final thoughts. And if you want to see the whole show, here's a link to the playlist I watched!

For the spoiler-free part:

I do think this was a solid adaptation and well worth watching, as someone who loves the videogame and has replayed it more times than is probably healthy, hah.

I've gushed over it so many times, but the art is generally good and really brings the storybook vibes of the original game to life. Domina, Polpota Harbor and Geo look fantastic. There aren't a lot of flashy sequences, but in general everything looks good. One of the strongest points for the anime is the voice acting - all the VAs delivered and were fitting for their roles. I was initially a bit thrown off by how deep Elazul's voice is, but you get used to it and he ends up having some of my favorite lines, too! They bring new life to the dialogue I've seen so many times.

As an adaptation, it does change up a lot of things, so fair warning, but these changes were made for a smoother flow of episodes and for the most part it works. We even get a few glimpses into other quests, such as Summer Lovin', and they expanded a lot on a quest that otherwise had pretty minor involvement with the whole Jumi arc (Drowned Dreams).

Do I think you will understand this show if you haven't played the game? I think they do a fairly good job, but I feel that on the whole, this is a show that will be best appreciated by fans of the game.

Overall, I'd give this anime a 8/10. Some episodes are better than the others, which really is a detriment to enjoying the whole thing, and unfortunately, the worst episode for me was the last one. It's not so bad as to ruin the whole show, but the ending could have been much, much better in my opinion.

But there will be a director's cut released next year, so perhaps that will solve any lingering issues I had with the ending.

Now, for specific stuff with spoilers:

I really quite enjoyed the plot twist that Serafina is actually an antagonist and a loyal ally to Sandra at that. I wish I could say I saw it coming, but what I can say, I was also fooled by her sweet attitude that I failed to notice the very odd coincidence that she keeps showing up in Jumi incidents. But when the anime does reveal it directly, it really brings the previous episodes into question and makes you watch it in a different light. What a great plot twist and I am still so mad that it isn't given proper resolution in my opinion. Why would Serafina go back home with Shiloh in the end is still baffling to me, it would have made better sense for her to go look for Sandra.

Even the intro animation is a huge fake-out, making it seem like Serafina will be fighting alongside Elazul and Shiloh. Clever of them.

I do appreciate the anime fleshing out the other Jumi characters - it is nice to see more of Esmeralda, and Diana and Florina get to shine with their own moments too! Sadly, the two new Jumi, Sappho and Marina, Marina especially, are fairly minor characters and I feel like there was wasted potential there. I also wish Rubens was shown more, poor man just gets the worst of it.

The Lord of Jewels also gets it pretty bad. To be fair, even in the game he kind of comes out of nowhere and he's never properly explained, but he's very interesting - he's not outright evil, if anything, he's fairly sympathetic to the Jumi and while he does speak of them as beautiful gems, I do think he genuinely cared for them and wished them well. He's got a mournful, grand personality to him that you can get in the game. Interestingly, in the art book, the character designer Nao Ikeda says he's got an ugly appearance but he does have the heart of a gentleman, which I can really get from his design. Nao Ikeda's designs are amazing.

In the anime, though...he's just kind of...there.

In the game and even in the manga he asks for exactly a thousand cores and in both cases it works - in the game he takes his 1000 form, and in the manga he, well, explodes but they definitely did something with his character. In the anime...

I have no idea what happened to him. It looks like they did the manga route where he failed and he kind of...disappeared, but no one ever really comments on it after the screen whites out. It's so confusing and it's such a shame. I really wish they had a proper fight against his 1000 form, but for some reason they keep depowering Shiloh in actual fights. Poor guy.

I hate to be that person, but definitely don't watch the anime if you want well-animated fights. It doesn't have much and if there they sort of cheat it with how fast things are moving. More often than not Shiloh gets very beat up too, which I can excuse for most encounters, but there are some fights where I feel like they made him lose way too much. At least, like I mentioned, the visuals are generally good so I can forgive this.

I still think the very first episode is actually the best one, it just really captures the dreamy essence of the game. The adaptation of Drowned Dreams and Lucky Clover quests (Episodes 4: Sapphire and Episode 6: Emerald, respectively) are also fairly good. Episodes 10 and 11 are among my favorites, as well.

Really, the most rough episodes for me is the final episode and episode 8: Blackpearl, everything else was fairly good so those two kind of stick out with how the quality dipped in terms of visuals and writing. I'm afraid they rushed to complete this whole arc within 12 episodes and it shows sometimes.

Any other thoughts I have will be added to this post, but that's the points I can think of for my overall review!

[kissmetae]

Hope

❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)

You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.

|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex ||  Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)

❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.

How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine  and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly  acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected  that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was  a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply  and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled.   Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.