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felassan · 3 years

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DA4 Lead Producer Scylla Costa’s BIG Festival talk, “Challenges of Dragon Age production during the pandemic”, can currently be rewatched on YouTube here starting roughly at timestamp 8:57:02 after a lil presenter blurb/intro. It’s 1 hour long. When it was streamed live, there was an English translation ‘voiceover’. There isn’t in this vid, however I want to post the link for Portuguese speakers, and also it’s neat for everyone to be able to see all the slides he presented with for themselves in context.

I don’t know if an English-language version will get put up so I’m sharing the notes I took during the talk below, in case anyone’s interested and because I might as well since I wrote them. The rest of this post is under a cut due to length.

Edit: Found a place to re-watch the English version of the talk

(Quick note: I didn’t note down everything, mostly things that caught my interest, so this isn’t exhaustive, and when I was watching I was real tired, so pls bear that in mind and don’t take these notes as bullet-proof 100% accurate gospel or direct quotes. If you watched it and think I’ve written down something wrong/misunderstood, let me know and I’ll fix. Also if you’re a Portuguese speaker and I’ve gotten something incorrect or missed something important etc, again just let me know.) **

** Edit: I’ve now gone through my notes while watching the talk again. I’ve filled in some of the gaps (although they still don’t cover everything said) and so forth, and now I’m no longer worried about there being possible errors in this post.

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For some context, this slide contained the breakdown of the talk’s structure. Bear in mind there are other slides present in the talk than the ones I’ve posted here, I didn’t include caps of all of them, just ones which were of note to me.

In the talk, chief Producer Scylla goes over challenges of DA4 production during the pandemic. He discusses the adaptations - necessary skills and learning from remote work - and he ponders on the future of teamwork.

After the launch of ME3 he became a producer, all his MMO and other experience helped a lot. He was on DAI for 3 years and MEA for 9 months, then Anthem. Today, on DA4, Scylla and another Lead Producer were the heads of the whole project, and there is his boss is the Executive Producer Christian Dailey.

^ the usual AAA game development cycle (brief introduction)

AAA games are games that are launched for several platforms simultaneously.

In BioWare’s case, the pre-production phase of the game development cycle can have from 5 - 30 people, and up to almost 60 people when they’re just about to go through the gate to production.

In the pre-production phase, they go through the game’s concepts and prototypes and start developing systems. They seek the game’s concept and focus, and its key features. They do lots of market research. In the case of BioWare, all their games are strong in narrative, so they have lots of tools related to game narratives and supporting the development of a narrative (cinematic design, dialogue system etc) that get focused on in this phase. Other parts of the team such as writers and cinematic design need these systems to do their own roles.

In BioWare’s case, the pre-production phase through to launch can take 4 - 6 years, but it does depend on the size of the team during development.

With regards to Dragon Age 4, they were coming close to the time when they would shift from pre-production to the production stage when the pandemic hit.

During the production phase is when the development of content and features takes place, with the systems mostly already existing from the pre-production phase. A few new systems may be developed in this phase. In the production phase is when things start escalating, and the team really starts growing, to like 2- or 3-fold the prior pre-production phase size.

(DA4 is currently in the production phase.)

In the alpha phase, features have to be fully implemented and systems all have to be running / working. All the game features should already be in the game by now. They test from pre-production onwards, but this phase is when they run heavy technical tests with lots of players trying to play at the same time. In the beta phase, the idea is that you should now have full content and that now you’re balancing it and running more and lots of different tests with players before launch. There are final tweaks and then the final launch, when in the weeks prior to launch, all the different business units and areas e.g. marketing team, technology team, publishing team, get together once a day and all of the game’s issues are reported and brought to the table to be prioritized. Then they decide the next steps re: these issues (this is known as ‘the war room’).

After the launch there are usually patches like day zero patches and other patches, this being standard industry practise. The last stage is the new content stage where there are DLCs and a game with more content.

On March 12th 2020, the team gathered to review the DA4 story in the new office. Everyone was very excited. (They had spent over 10 years in their last building and had noticed that with the team growing they needed more space. In August 2019 they found the new studio in the city center.)

Anyway that evening, they got an email from the CEO which contained instructions and said that due to the pandemic, they should from now all start working remotely. They had known that this happening was a possibility so they had been planning on how to have all the devs working from home, but initially less than 50% of the devs were able to work from home successfully/efficiently due to various issues e.g. you need a VPN to be able to log in remotely to do your job normally, varying home office setups. The day after this, the office was basically deserted, except for Scylla, the IT infrastructure people and one or two odd devs.

Scylla was part of the team that was working on allowing the devs to work from home. They first started looking at the short-term changes they needed to make to allow this.

“First, take care of our developers”.

When the pandemic first hit, their and Scylla’s [as Lead Producer] first priority was to look after the devs. Many of them are parents (schools and day-cares were shut, children were studying from home), others have relatives living with them, others have other personal circumstances which of course need to be taken into account when it comes to assessing what needs to be taken into consideration for this new scenario. So, they looked at each dev on a case-by-case basis in order to evaluate, speaking to each one and asking them what they could do to support them.

One of the first changes/adaptations they could implement was flexible working hours and flexibility around deadlines. Generally speaking the devs got a lot of support, EA was really good and really supported the devs especially in the first months of the pandemic (and they are still supporting them). Initially not all devs had suitable office spaces at home, some were working from the living room from laptops or at the kitchen table. The whole covid situation basically just happened over night and nobody was really ready to deal with that change. So their first step was to enable their devs to work remotely. As a producer, Scylla’s main task is to communicate with the team such as via a number of daily meetings. He doesn’t depend so much on powerful hardware.

“Enable developers to work remotely”.

This slide shows some of a BioWare audio team. Different teams have varying and specific needs in order to do their jobs and therefore in order to do them remotely. For example, the audio team need good-quality speakers and amplifiers, while the lighting and art teams need other specific equipment such as tablets and large screens. So there was a lot of work they had to do to go through each dev to understand their individual needs and what needed to be done for them. ‘Could they download the builds? Did they have the right performance [tech-wise]? Could they submit their changelists, their codes to the server?’

Some devs needed a more powerful internet connection as it would take 6-8 hours to download a build (some devs live rurally). Some needed a lot of cable, as they were working far away from their routers (sometimes up to 50m). As time went by things got better and better.

The chair devs work from is also important; a kitchen able chair etc is not suitable to sit in for long-term desk work, possibly leading to health issues like back ache and blood circulation problems in the legs.

Every 3 months they had money given to help devs buy new mice, keyboards, monitors - anything they needed really in order for their office setting at home to be improved. For a while, because lots of people [generally, in society] were needing and buying them, it was quite hard to buy things like webcams and microphones.

On mid- and long-term changes:

In terms of DA, we have to look at this from 2 perspectives, the change in the personal and the professional environments.

As a consequence of working from home, people tend to be less active during the day (even in an office, you go between meeting rooms, up and down stairs etc). Physical activity supports life quality and therefore work quality. Scylla noticed that he began to feel listless and such, and found that he needed to change his routine that he had initially developed when he started working from home, for example; having a normal start time (as in, have a semblance of structure in your day as if you were still working in the office site), get dressed at the normal time, not having meetings over lunch etc. This wasn’t just him, lots of other devs encountered this and had this experience too. Devs which adapted faster had better productivity and became more productive faster.

Scylla bought a stand-up desk which he can raise up and down, and at meetings he would be delivering a talk while standing or even while walking on a treadmill. Other devs also got stand-up desks. He tracked his body’s data on a Fitbit. These sorts of things helped improve physical and mental wellbeing. Other devs did similar things, like starting going out for jogs or began practising yoga. Essentially, everyone needed to make changes to their daily routine in comparison to what they had been doing prior to the pandemic.

The pandemic has been a thing for over a year now. In their location, every couple of weeks a new restriction is put into place or a rule is changed, and every two weeks there’s a new thing that you can and can’t do. Scylla also started moving around his property. He worked on his desk, fixed it up and painted - taking up a new hobby. Other devs picked up new hobbies too. These are good ways to be active and also to be somewhere else, i.e. to break up the working day and not be spending it all in one home office-type location. Scylla found that when he made these sorts of changes to his routine to improve his lifestyle, the data output by his Fitbit as indicators of his health/wellbeing etc improved, e.g. number of steps taken in a day, heartbeats per minute while at rest. As stated many of the other devs went through a similar process.

On the professional side of things:

They had to improve remote delivery of builds. Accessing things from home as a dev requires a VPN. They need to download a build every day and then upload it to the server after making their changes to the game. They had to work with infrastructure and research other tech, such as streaming tech to allow remote console access, in order to better facilitate this process. For remote access, they also had to work on adapting communications channels.

“Adapting channels of communication.”

In this slide, the team are working on the storyboards. Before you can implement motion capture & performance capture, you have to ‘run the storyboards’ like this. These are small illustrating drawings which reflect the drafts and are meant to quickly reflect the intention of the scenes that are to be built. Before the pandemic, the team would go to meeting rooms like this, sit down, talk and interact in person. After the pandemic, the question became ‘How do you do this over Zoom?’ You can, but it’s not quite the same; it’s harder to see peoples’ expressions, some people are embarrassed speaking over Zoom etc. Therefore they had to adapt their communications systems, and unlearn the ways in which they developed before in order to relearn and learn new ways of communicating.

Slack was a tool that they adopted on this front. Communications channels can be confusing on Slack, so there was a need to develop structure. For example, how quickly should someone reply (as a recommended convention for the purposes of work)? They had to define the process/procedures for the channels so it was clear for the team as a whole how it would all flow (this is important especially if you have a team with say 30 people or as a whole hundreds of people). Before the pandemic, they had stand-up meetings where they’d go around in a circle every morning and talk about their activities - what they’re going to be working on, any roadblocks they had encountered etc. The question arose ‘How do you replace these?’ They ended up doing Slack messages at a certain time of day and updating their statuses with some details on what they’re working on and color-coding (green - fine, yellow - need help, red - busy/blocked out).

Another issue that they faced was unforeseen - the number of meetings that devs were having really shot through the roof. When there wasn’t a good structure of communications channels, any conversation would become a meeting. Everybody began scheduling meetings left and right, and at the end of the day they would have little time left in which to actually work on their to-do lists. Hence, they had to work with the team to really analyze and be very pragmatic. ‘Which meetings needed to happen? Which didn’t? Is a specific meeting really necessary? Which meetings should be recurring? What can be done over Slack?’ This guideline had to be given to the team to help, and it improved things a lot. The number of meetings decreased a lot and they got more effective. For example, by making sure to set an agenda for meetings beforehand, and by having meeting notes (then a dev who didn’t really need to be at a meeting could skip attending and just quickly review the notes output after instead). They also decreased the standard length of meeting times from the default Outlook blocks of 1 hour and 30 mins to 55 mins and 25 mins respectively. This 5 minute change gave devs time for things like bio breaks (also 4 hours in a row at a computer in a home office with one meeting after another just isn’t good for a person).

“Adapting p-cap and mocap”.

On content:

From a content point of view, the most difficult thing in terms of the pandemic was adapting p-cap and mocap (performance capture and motion capture). They hire actors and it’s a large studio. The pandemic meant big limits to what they could and couldn’t do. The actors had to be masked and 5 meters apart in distance (although it doesn’t look like it in some of these shots due to angles). Also there could be no other person around in the studio - only the actors. The directors instead would ‘patch’ in remotely on big screens (you can see this in the second photo in the top right).

Before the pandemic, they felt that they wouldn’t be able to do p-cap or mocap properly remotely, as the directors would usually stand right next to actors giving guidance on their performance. The techs would also usually be near. But they adapted! The keyword is adapting, changing process. It’s harder and it’s different, but it is possible, and people start rethinking what is possible. What was said to be impossible before now is possible.

P-cap differs to mocap in that it also captures voice and facial expressions.

On the future of work after covid:

There will probably be more working from home and more flexibility for workers e.g. being able to work say 3 out of 5 days from home. It does depend on what a dev’s specific job is however. For example, the audio engineers require lots of specialist equipment and said equipment is of higher quality and quantity in the office. So, depending on role, devs might be working more often or less often from home.

Another development is that lots of devs are moving house. In lockdown etc people started reassessing what’s most important in life. Some are moving further away from the studio to get a cheaper rent or for example couples who both needed an office space to work from home from but their current place only had one area. Others are moving closer to nature for a better quality of life, and still others have other different reasons for doing so. Over 10 devs that he knows in fact have recently moved, including Scylla himself.

The pandemic changed certain skills being used by people on a daily basis. Scylla used as an example of this one of his soft skills, being able to tell from looking/interacting in-person with someone if they are stressed out. Obviously it’s less easy to tell if someone is stressed out when you’re remote, so you adapt different ways of checking in with people in the new situation. To continue carrying out his role as Lead Producer, he began checking in with his team pro-actively on the new comms channels and asking how they were doing.

Also, now that companies are more open to working remotely, there is going to be increased competition for hiring devs. They saw both sides of this coin at BioWare. They were able to hire devs from many places that they couldn’t hire from before e.g. Montreal, Vancouver, the US, as there’s less need for devs to relocate to Edmonton or Austin. This opens up opportunities to hire really intelligent and skilled people that they would not have had access to before.

Question and answer segment:

The pre-production phase has been concluded. They’re in the production phase.

They are not giving out a lot of details yet but Scylla is really excited as a big fan of the whole series. He thinks that with DA4, they will have the opportunity/possibility to launch the best story out of all DA games. He feels that the characters they’re making are amazing. He’s dying to say more but can’t.

When you work from home you need to keep your team as productive as possible. During the pandemic, when people started working from home, they noticed that some people became more productive and some people became less productive. They were analyzing it on a case-by-case basis so as not to make assumptions. They were interested in seeing what they could do to help. At the beginning of the pandemic, they were looking at the devs as people and seeing what they needed.

Production of DA4 still needed to continue during the pandemic because they want to be able to launch the game.

This slide shows a writer. Writing is an example of a role which is more able to work from home easily.

Their productivity did go down in the first month of the pandemic. After adaptations, some people then became more productive than they were before (this was role and personal situation-dependent, examples of this being artists and coders who were able to art and code at home without being interrupted, thereby being able to produce more). Covid has affected productivity in general, but this is part of our new reality. They have adapted and adjusted some deadlines. They have enough data (Scylla LOVES data) now to understand how long it will take them/how long they’ll need to launch the game. They have always had historical data for this purpose, but they’re doing more of this sort of thing now to ensure that they are doing things at the right time.

Remote hiring opens up the door to more talent joining, so if someone has talent geography will hold them back less. Some companies though may choose not to hire people from other countries due to labor issues, cumbersome legal aspects, time zones. But even in such cases there are activities for example that can be carried out while the rest of the team is asleep such as testing or working on the build, or there are cases where those companies still will want to hire a specifically/highly talented person even in spite of the potential legal aspects and so on.

On mental health: People were affected. There is the mental, physical and social impacts of the pandemic situation on people. EA supported them during the pandemic in terms of their mental wellbeing, there are specific companies (services offered, speaking to a therapist) that they can contact if they need something or help. EA had always been good at supporting them with this sort of thing but this has improved further during the pandemic. Another change was that they could/can take a couple of days off if they needed/need to because of the pandemic e.g. to take care of children, who were obviously not at school at the time. As a producer he had to be very mindful of all of this. How much they were monitoring peoples’ wellbeing really went up during the pandemic.

A question that was asked - in terms of DA4′s storybeats, is there anything in there that they decided to change due to the pandemic as it wouldn’t be sensitive or appropriate to include anymore, for example a plague plotline or something? Scylla’s answer is that DA and ME are games in which they try to have narratives that are relatable, which include things which people will identify with, so that players understand what characters are going through etc. Nothing in DA4′s plotline/storybeats has been changed (in the frame of this question, relating to the pandemic), as it didn’t have anything in it that could be specifically or a directly connected to a pandemic-type situation or anything. Of course the DA story has Blights and the Taint, but these are different & fantastical things and existed long before the pandemic situation. So this wasn’t the case with DA4 and there was no need to change anything, but this has happened to other games where they decided to change a storyline due to a strong correlation with something in the real world.

There were then concluding/closing remarks. The message he wants to send is that a crisis will always spark opportunities. Look at a crisis and try to see how you can grow.

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[☕ found this post interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #covid mention #long post #longpost #wanted to write these up properly and post them yesterday but wasn't able to #mass effect #anthem

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salmonid-ink · 4 years

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Let’s talk about Salmonid intelligence!

There seems to be a wide misconception that Salmonids aren’t intelligent, or at the very least, aren’t as smart as Octolings or Inklings. This idea couldn’t be farther from the truth! And because I’m the Resident Salmonid Fanatic™ it’s my job to talk about this.

In hopes to make people consider and think of Salmonids in a better light, and NOT as pets, I’m going to do my best to pull evidence from in-game, as well as interviews, that imply or outright confirm that Salmonids are sapient, much like our beloved Octolings and Inklings.

To start, I’d like to touch on their interactions with other creatures, namely their trade deal with the Octarians. It’s hard to argue for Salmonids not being intelligent when you consider the confirmed fact that they actively trade with other creatures to benefit the both of them.

They exchange their useful Power Eggs (and perhaps vegetables and fruits) to the Octarians for mechanical blueprints, weapons, and machine parts (and potentially tentacle cuts for food). We can wager this trade deal has been going on for a long time, as the Salmonids are fitted to the gills with machinery, and you can make the argument that the Octomaw was inspired by Maws!

While the Salmonids could easily take these blueprints and make the machines exactly as the Octarians planned them, these fish take it one step beyond and put their own twist on things! With their intellect, they’ve customized traditional weapons to suit them better, and the examples can be seen in just about every boss you encounter.

Ink Storm + Brella -> Drizzler

Sting Ray -> Stinger

Ink Jet + Tenta Missiles -> Flyfish

Splash Wall -> Steel Eel

Baller/Splashdown -> Steelhead

Shielded Octotrooper + Roller -> Scrapper

Octocopter -> Chinook

Flooder -> Griller

Octo Seeker -> Mothership

Additionally, they are INSANELY resourceful, able to use any scrap of metal or machinery to make their contraptions, and make them decently reliable. Not to mention the fact that Scrappers are able to repair their cars! On the fly! All while under fire! That takes dedication AND smarts!!

Not to mention the fact that Smallfry, who could very well be babies (and I will argue that they are, as there is no benefit to stunting the growth of ANY creature), are able to pilot Flyfish. They were raised just right in the best environment, and now they’re super smart!

Also, Salmonids are crazy creative, with how they’ve incorporated their cookware into their weaponry. They take their aesthetic to the next level, man.

Next, lest talk about their homes!

It’s vastly clear that they have their own society. At the very least, we can take a glimpse of it with their houses. The Lost Outpost (known as the Colony at Sea in Japan) is a great example of this!

While these houses look like they were cobbled together with recycled parts, which falls in line with Salmonid resourcefulness, they are clearly stable living spaces that were built by he Salmonids themselves with ocean living and fishing in mind.

Additionally, towards the back of the stage, we can see another house with a city on the horizon. While this is purely speculation, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to believe that this city is Salmonid-owned. The areas you go to are claimed to be restricted ocean zones, and given that you’re so far out that you need a house-sized radio dish just to communicate, it’s hard to believe that the city would be owned by anyone else.

I think these city-based homes would be owned by Salmonids that work with machinery, such as repairmen and mechanics. This could also include artisans! Farmers would obviously live in more rural areas, where they can plant and grow their crops.

We can also glean a similar idea from the Spawning Grounds (called the Salmonid Dam in many other languages):

I will argue until the day I die that the dam found in the Spawning Grounds, as well as the adjacent city, belongs to the Salmonids, as evidence by its proximity to the stage, the green water pouring from the dam, and the very clear Salmonid mark on it.

Whether this city was built by them, or it’s one they took ahold of and built upon during one of their past migrations is yet to be determined, seeing my speculations are even true. Either way, it’s clear that the Salmonids are capable of building structures and homes with ease!

If we talk about their homes, even if this is much more on the speculative end, we’ve also GOT to talk about the factory we can see at Marooner’s Bay:

Again, given the proximity to Salmonid territory, as well as the various Salmonid-themed items around the stage, we can speculate that these factories are Salmonid owned, and perhaps where they work on many of their machines and devices.

Things such as Scrapper Cars, Steel Eels, Flyfish jets, Grillers, and Motherships could be constructed here, or this place could be used for processing water or chemicals! It’s a rather vague factory, so again, this is all theoretical. I haven’t a clue what they do here.

Next let’s talk about their art. The existence of art alone should be enough of an indicator that they have minds to think and feel with! Especially when their designs are as intricate as these:

The most of these can be seen around the Lost Outpost and Spawning Grounds, but every single stage has a few of these markings floating around. I don’t currently have many in-stage caps on hand, but if you take the time to look around, you’ll find a few on the ground and walls!

While a lot of these are very clearly graffiti markings, the intricate designs may have some meaning. While we haven’t a clue what exactly they mean, or what they represent, I think they’re extremely fascinating, and give us a peek into what culture Salmonids have.

They’re likely made with stencils, but all the same, they were designed carefully, and must hold SOME significance.

I have a theory that these designs are primarily to mark specific territories. Perhaps certain marks mean different schools and families! Or some of them could be warnings, such as to indicate Grizz activity (such as with the bear icon, which appears in a few stages).

I believe in part, these are a form of expression, ESPECIALLY if they indicate schools. There are so many unique fish-shaped designs, it’d be cool to see how these correlate to individual groups!

They could also be a visual indicator for Inklings and Cephalopods that, yes, this is Salmonid territory, so you’d best stay away! Because while it’d be easy for a Salmonid to tell what area belongs to who by smell alone, Inklings certainly don’t have that luxury!

At any rate, I’d love to see what personal art looks like for Salmonids. What kind of crafts do they make? What sort of things do they love to paint? We don’t really know, and we can only speculate...

One thing we know for certain is that Salmonids appreciate music. It even seems as though they’re inspired by it, given the descriptions that the Salmon Run songs have.

I feel like this is worth stating, even if their existence is fairly common knowledge: ω-3. A band. That plays complex instruments. And does all their own mixing.

Pretty freakin’ smart, I must say!

Additionally, each of the members have VASTLY different styles. The Cellist is stern and stubborn, and won’t accept anything but the best, be it in passion or in radical works. The timpanist is soulful, passionate, and is straight to the point. The DJ is reckless and disrespectful, yet puts forth his best effort.

All three of them are so unalike to one another in style and personality. They may not even get along that well, but at the end of the day, they value working together SO MUCH that they make amazing, unique, and great-sounding songs that stir and inspire their people.

It’d be amazing to see what other types of music that Salmonids like, because this can’t be the only kind. However the style of ω-3 certainly goes hand-in-hand with the chaotic, resourceful, and determined nature of the Salmonids.

We should also touch up on the fact that Salmonids are stated to have tradition. Aside from their 70-year migration, they’re also stated to pass cookware from generation to generation in Sunken Scroll #19.

"Salmonids are known to keep their weapons in tip-top shape. The frying pans they wield have often been passed down from generation to generation. You can see the unwavering pride of these fierce warriors in their (somewhat crazed) eyes."

I like to think that they also pass things like recipes and other tools down to their offspring and kin. Family and schools on the whole appear to be very important to them, which ties directly into their drive to work together as a unit, rather than separately as a makeshift team.

For some conventional evidence, look at this one bit from the Merry Fishmas piece, posted by official Splatoon sources:

I LOVE this image, and there are so many tiny details that you can make out in this. Such as these two:

THEY ARE PLAYING CARDS, and this ain’t no dogs playing poker bit, either! It looks like the other one is losing really bad... Or going into a food coma. One way or another, the other Salmonid is trying to check up on them, haha. Or maybe they’re trying to sneak a peek at the other’s cards? Who knows! That sly grin tells a story.

Also, there’s this Goldie, who is fishing:

These are all pretty human-like characteristics, which makes me think, all the more, that they’re on par with Inklings intelligence wise. I REALLY want to see more interactions like this someday, it fills my heart with delight and joy.

Phew.. Well, thank you so much for sticking with me through this whole thing. I hope this helps people get more perspective on Salmonids, and what little we know about their community and culture.

#Salmonid #Salmon Run #Splatoon #Splatoon 2 #Other Headcanons #mod stinky

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jokertrap-ran · 3 years

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Event! SP Granny’s Tailor Shop: A Giantess can Fall in Love too! Chapter 3: In the Depths of Memory (记忆深处) Translation

"Gao Ran, who was faced with a lack of resources, decided to incorporate the art of the 'Fengshan Grand Ceremony' in her catwalk. However, the director had rejected her plan."

*Light and Night Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join my Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Event story tag will be #For Light and Memories

It was a week later that I saw Gao Ran again. What had been an originally clear day was ruined by the light rain that suddenly started coming down in the afternoon.

Gao Ran tucked her umbrella away, ducking into the small shop as I made her a cup of steaming ginger tea to ward off the cold.

MC: Haven’t you been rehearsing with the masters of the Fengshan Grand Ceremony as of late? Why do you still have the time to come here?

Gao Ran silently took a large gulp of the ginger tea. Looks like things weren’t going as smoothly as I’d thought.

Gao Ran: The Fengshan Grand Ceremony. Might very well be unable to go up on stage at all.

Gao Ran: The director rejected our proposal.

MC: Why?

She was silent for a while as if trying to form the right words.

Gao Ran: She said… that the audience for modelling shows has always been fashionable and lively youngsters bursting with vigour, not the old folk watching performances in rural areas.

Gao Ran: And that something as boring as this shouldn’t be out on the stage at all.

Gao Ran: If the end product turns out to be something unsightly in their eyes, then we’re all forced to go in accordance with their pre-set schedule…

Gao Ran lightly bit her lip, hunching over on the table and burying her head into her arms.

Her voice was muffled, filled with dissent and self-loathing.

Gao Ran: I don’t know what I should do. Actually, I’m not afraid of losing. I’m just afraid of letting him down.

Gao Ran: He visited those old entertainers many times over and spent a lot of time just to get them to come out of Mount. T again…

Gao Ran: He’s clearly no good with alcohol, yet he still accompanied them for glass after glass.

Gao Ran: He knew that the program team would make an example out of him, yet he still came and insisted on becoming my designer…

I quietly placed a box of tissues before her, but it looked like she wanted to rant all the emotions she’d bottled up this time.

MC: And that’s precisely why you need to cheer yourself back up and stay strong, no?

MC: I think he definitely doesn’t want to see you being upset for him.

❖☆———————————★❖

Gao Ran stubbornly turned away. The red corners of her eyes were still stained with a steady stream of tears, seemingly with no intention of stopping.

Perhaps that gentleman was really her weak spot? Or at least, it managed to coax her enough to gradually stop sobbing.

❖☆———————————★❖

MC: How about we talk about the Fengshan Grand Ceremony?

MC: You haven’t told me why you wanted to perform this for the finals.

The rain outside didn’t lighten up at all and Gao Ran’s breathing sounded like a far-away memory, slowly disappearing along with the pitter-patter of the rain.

Gao Ran: The Fengshan Grand Ceremony… was my first impression of what a stage was.

Gao Ran: A thousand years of history, collated and delivered in a short moment.

Gao Ran: Especially the part from the Great Tang Dynasty when Empress Wu turned back around… That was shocking!

And that was how Gao Ran and I ended up talking for a long time, seemingly realizing something as we conversed.

Smiling, I added more water into her cup.

MC: Actually, you’ve already found your answer, haven’t you?

Gao Ran: Do you also think that it's… too early to give up now?

MC: It’s better to be early than to be late.

MC: You’ve already come so far and there’s no going back, so the only thing you can do is to carry on forwards.

MC: Gao Ran, you’re different from Xin Xian.

MC: You won’t be happy to win the championship if you aren’t standing on the stage that you like, right?

She held her cup, stunned for a while before a relieved smile crossed her features.

Gao Ran: Thank you. No one else would tell me something like that anymore.

MC: So wipe your tears and go find him quick.

Gao Ran: Eh?

I pointed to her phone. The screen was lit up, displaying 20+ missed calls.

MC: He's calling you, isn't he? He must be worried.

She held the side buttons of her phone down until the screen blacked out again. She faced me once more. This time, her eyes were filled with firm determination.

Gao Ran: I understand. This is the path I chose, so I have to see it through with my own ability.

❖☆————— ⊹ A Giantess can Fall in Love too! ⊹ —————★❖

⊹ Previous Part: (Chapter 2: Inside Secrets) ⊹ Next Part: (Chapter 4: Glimmer of Hope)

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #萧逸 #Osborn #齐司礼 #Sariel #陆沉 #Evan #查理苏 #Charlie #夏鸣星 #Jesse #For Light and Memories #女巨人也要谈恋爱 #A Giantess can Fall in Love too!

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theinnerhalf · 4 years

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2019 in Review: Highlights

Making a venture back into writing again with this “year in review”. I guess I’m slightly less damaged than I was last year and have finally built the courage to write about how this year was for me, even some dark times included. Thank you 2019, for not much, but I guess thank you. A “fuck you” would be more appropriate but regardless, I’m grateful. Let’s do this.

January 2019

An extremely slow start to the new year, as it usually is when it comes to me. My January’s tend to be bleak, gray, and cold especially considering the coming down from a constant holiday high. I spent this first month with friends I could call my family, regularly going out as much as we could while the two military guys (EJ and James) are here for the time being. In this month as well, I got to finally meet up with my ex who I can now proudly call a friend. Diana and I were able to catch up extensively to make up for all the lost time, talking about things like how we’ve been, the changes, the constants, and occasionally reminiscing. I know I’ve felt at peace before already, for having her back into my life rather than staying a bittersweet memory, but getting to catch up like this was a whole other type of joy I didn’t know I needed. As for the picture of the pants, I finally made the decision to buy a pair of jeans that I wanted soooo so bad from one of my favorite designers.

February

Goodness...Where do I even start for this month?...Like January, February for me is usually bleak. Regardless it being a month for “love”, it sucked. Maybe the worst for me in the year. The start of this month wasn’t all too bad though! There was a fashion show that Celine was walking/modeling for held at Rice University in order to celebrate Asian cultures and Chinese New Year. The show overall was alright...I guess it was just nice to be out supporting Celine and whatnot. I thought this month would at least provide a break for me, but just five days later, my grandma was sent to the ICU after suffering from a stroke...It happened so suddenly...Celine and I were at an outing when the two of us came back to my place and ran into my dad who was leaving in a hurry. He had a lost look on his face, as well as panicky and shifty eyes. He broke the news to us and had the sinking feeling in me hit so fast. The next thing I know, we’re at the hospital waiting room, anxiously waiting to be briefed with (hopefully) good news. I remember disassociating when the doctor had finally came to us, thinking that this really couldn’t be happening...not to us...not to my dad. I remember thinking that this isn’t fair...We literally had just gotten her into our lives’ and now we’re losing her.

We spent the following week trading stays at the hospital between my siblings and cousins. I can’t remember the proper psychology term for the feeling of false hope and security for an event that seems to be too horrible to be true, but that was what I had felt for the entire time. There’s no way that my family could lose our grandma like this...and not this soon. Just a day before my grandma’s stroke happened, she was asking when my younger sister and I were going to get married. The two of us looked at each other like, “What the fuuuu--? Where is this coming from?” My grandma explained shortly after that she felt as if she didn’t have much longer for her time here with us, and that she wanted to have the honor to make the dresses and suits for Lacel’s or my wedding. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how cruel and merciless the world could be, but also at the same time, that I should’ve known better and that I should be used to this...I should be but I would rather not. I think it was after a week and a half where I found that my grandma would be transferred to a hospice. My family had told me this and I was under the impression that hospices were for people who had recovered enough that they don’t need to be in a hospital but still needed professional caretakers. I told this to Andrew and Quin and they both shared painful and shocked expressions with each other. I asked why they were looking at each other like that and then they broke it to me that hospices were for people who didn’t have much time left. I remember crying in front of them that day during work.

Virginia Barreda passed away, February 19, 2019. My family grieved separately and in different ways. I slept off the entire day...The picture of the room was how my grandma left the room right before she was taken to the hospital and was left untouched for the entire duration of the situation. I embarrassingly and shamefully made a gofundme to help raise money so that my family and I could attend her final farewell back home in the Philippines. I thought it wouldn’t get anywhere...but my heart...I was so surprised to see the amount of love and support that friends and even strangers had decided to put out, and I was touched beyond anything I had ever expected. A big thank you to those who donated and have come across this post by any way. You have my sincerest gratitude and even with that, I cannot thank you enough.

To end the note on a positive note at least, Celine and I hit one year at the end of this month. Amazing.

March

My family and I were in such a weird head space entering this month. There was a lot of recovering to be made and coming out of the state of denial from my grandma’s passing. It was like a new chapter of our lives abruptly opened itself onto us and we all did not know how to proceed. My dad was stressing out over medical expenses and how we were going to afford to bring the entire family to Philippines for my grandma’s final resting place. I did my best to keep the gofundme a secret from him, because knowing my dad, he would not accept the money under any condition. He only came to find out about it because some of his friends and relatives came across it, donated, and then told him about how sentimental and touching my gofundme passage was. He just asked why, and I regrettably said that it was because we were struggling out here and all I wanted to do was help. After some convincing with the help of my two sister’s, my dad accepted the help and agreed that we can now at least afford to take my dad for the initial ceremony while the rest of us would follow-up, hopefully in the summer or late 2019.

The first picture in this month’s set is of the Pieta in Italy, taken by Lacel. Lacel was on a two week school trip, while in the second picture is the view my dad had while his two week stay in the Philippines. Both my older sister and I stayed at home while envying our dad’s and Lacel’s experiences. Their trips only served as motivation for me to save up a lot more for Japan and I really wanted to make that happen no matter what. Even if it meant me going alone, I was ready to accept it.

The following pictures of Lacel are when they came back from Italy and celebrated their two years of being clean/no relapses. I know I rarely ever let it be known, but I really do care and love my younger sister a lot, and to see them make it this far in the span of two years meant so much to me. I’m glad that my family was able to celebrate that milestone in Lacel’s life because it was definitely quite the journey. The last photo is of my car’s fourth brake light functioning again with Travis’ help and was fixed just in time for the long drive to Marfa.

April

Really, the only one significant highlight for this month, which I am incredibly excited to share, was the moderately spontaneous trip I took out to Marfa, Texas with Yentl. I do have to say, the two of us were quite ambitious for taking on this trip by leaving Houston around 12am shortly, after grabbing oh my gogi and some boba. With the help of a trenta iced coffee, I was able to knock out 6 hours of the 8 hour drive. While the drive was a lot of fun, I started getting really sleepy around the 4 hour mark but it started raining extremely hard after we had passed San Antonio. I was so reluctant to switch over to Yentl driving because I had been losing traction every now and then. It was only until the sun rose that we finally had passed the rain. I shortly knocked out after the switch.

I woke up to Yentl ecstatically saying, “We’re heeeeere!” I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded, forgetting that daytime was a thing. But from the short time my eyes were open, I saw a railroad and buildings styled from days of the past. I fought to keep my eyes open only to tell myself, maybe five more minutes. As soon as we parked, Yentl and I took the opportunity to walk around.The weather was pleasant, not too hot and not too cold either. The humidity that seems to be a pestering presence in Houston was nowhere to be found in Marfa, so the daytime stroll was bliss. The two of us checked out Marfa’s welcome sign, the city hall (only from the outside because it was closed), a couple of local shops and art galleries, and the hotel Paisano, a hotel best known for having a movie shot in it.

All the walking had made us hungry...That and the only thing inside of us were boba and caffeine. Yentl and I checked out a place called Aster’s that was primarily a breakfast joint recommended to us by a person working at the welcome center. We both got an egg’s benedict. Me with a lemonade, and her an iced coffee. After eating, we proceeded to go to our Airbnb located 30 minutes away at another small town called Alpine. The Airbnb’s neighborhood was located in some rural area with cliffs surrounding it all. The Airbnb itself was a small and cute place that was divided into just three small parts: the bedroom, living room, and a bathroom. Yentl and I freshened up, put on the new fits, and made our way back to Marfa.

Headed back, we decided that we would first go see the outlandish Prada store located in the middle of the desert. The Prada store itself is a permanent art installation by artists Elmgreen and Dragset, built with the concept of using biodegradable materials so that the art installation could eventually return and be reclaimed back to Earth as all things eventually do. The drive to Prada, Marfa was an unexpectedly longer drive than I thought. It was a non-stop view of your textbook Western landscape...Desolate, scattered with ordinary desert shrubbery, and one thing to set it apart, a lonely, silver blimp just casually floating at the wind’s mercy.

When we finally arrived, it looked surreal to say the least. The building was so unexpectedly placed, yet at the same time, it wasn’t intrusive to the desert landscape. There were less people there than I had thought, which made it easier for Yentl and I to take the photos we wanted. What a pleasant oddity it was, I thought, to even drive eight hours just to see this left me with a sense of fulfillment knowing that this had been on my personal bucket list for quite some time.

The two of us made our way back to the city to kill some more time before it was time to see the mystery Marfa lights. We checked out a bookstore placed in the lobby of a hotel, wandered around the from one edge of the town to the other, checked out some more art galleries, and ate dinner at a local BBQ place. The sun was on the verge of setting so we headed to the viewing area that was located right beside the highway. We got there conveniently early and was able to secure a good parking spot as there was not even a designated parking lot. Yentl and I situated ourselves onto a bench with a clear view of the field. We both sat there in amazement of the sunset…layers on layers of colors dancing in the sky, almost a love letter to us from the sun itself, as it sank over the horizon, tucking itself in to say goodnight. The two of us couldn’t wrap our heads around the fact that we actually did this, an 8-hour drive to see some art and an unexplained natural phenomenon that happens in the desert at night. We really did this.

The sky turned from its calm lilac tones to an enveloping darkness and what followed were gasps of oooooh’s and aaaaah’s. It was finally happening. We peered over the horizon, somewhat confused, and there it was. Beside a constant blinking red light, appeared the mystery lights, bobbing up and down inconsistently, disappearing and reappearing on a whims notice. Yentl and I watched in awe and pondered about the mysteries of life like, does the supernatural exist, are there aliens out there, and what does it truly mean to love? Apart from the mystery lights themselves, the stars overhead was truly a sight to take in. The indescribable feeling of being small while looking up at the stars happens to be a favorite sensation of mine, but only this time, I was overwhelmed by it. I found a completely empty bench to lay down on just to look up. It must have been the most relaxed I have been since forever and I never wanted the feeling to end…But as all good things do, it did. Yentl and I made our way back to our Airbnb after catching what seemed to be a UFO flying above us. Marfa truly was surreal.

The two of us rested for the night, packed our stuff the next day, and made our way on the long journey back home.

May

The start of this month initially started incredibly slow. Not much has been done aside from learning how to shoot better on film which I spent a lot of my time on. I would keep pestering my friends to let me use them as models and surprisingly, they agreed! The first three photos are just a few of the pictures taken. This was also the month that the restaurant I work at, Noon (previously known as Verts, also previously known as Vertskebap), had undergone the change to being Daphne’s Greek Mediterranean. The change allowed us to finally get tips trough credit cards and no longer just cash tips. This allowed me to leave my shifts with a lot more money in hand.

It occurred to me…with this I could finally make my Japan trip a reality…In the span of just a week, I was able to raise 100 dollars in just tips alone (I know this doesn’t sound like a lot, but this is a big difference coming from leaving work with no more than 50 cents to 5 dollars on a busy day). I decided that the tip money would be strictly set aside for Japan and Japan only. I thought at the rate it was going, a 100 dollars per week would be sufficient for a trip set out in October/November. The rough estimate was at least around 2000 dollars if I decided I would really stay true to my word and not touch this extra money.

In this month also, my little sister got their associates degree in art, which I am really proud of! They then decided that they would be continuing their education at the university of Texas at Dallas. The last picture is a picture of one of my favorite musicians, blackbear, taken at a concert for his DEAD 2 THE WORLD tour. It was my second time getting to see him perform live, and while he was not in the best health to perform my favorite song the way that he usually does, it was still quite the experience. I would be more than happy to see him perform live again, and hopefully in better health.

June

Ahhh June. What better way to start of this month by getting into an accident…My neighbor ran into the passenger side door of my car while they were reversing and failed to see that I had already pulled out first. Extremely disappointing knowing how much my car means to me…What followed shortly after were series of looking for a trustworthy and affordable auto body and collision shop to do the work while being able to get covered by the person at fault’s insurance. Was honestly such a convoluted process and was so stressful that a part of me decided that maybe I would just leave and live with it. I ended up finding a shop called legendary auto and agreed to the other person’s insurance’s choice to only cover 80 percent of the costs because I allegedly had some “preventative measure” on stopping the collision from happening. Me, tired and not in the mood for a disagreement, agreed. I just wanted my car back to the way it was before.

The next highlight for this month was for an overnight camping trip I took out with my family and other family friends somewhere near Austin. It was a lot of fun! Everything was nearly perfect with the trip aside from the sweltering heat combined with a THICK humidity that made its dominance extremely clear. I remember there being so much good food…and with family friends that you’ve grown up with, there was never a shortage of people telling you to eat more when you just downed three plates of crawfish, bbq, and rice. There were boats and a tractor with a little tow for people to ride on in the back, a working NES system, a basketball court, playground, and an entire forest to explore. We spent our time playing card/board games, held a basketball competition, the dads versus the boys, a bonfire complete with smores, and a sad attempt at a Marvin’s room music video, complete with a hot tub and color changing lights.

Spending your time consistently outdoors resets your internal clock, and so by 9, everyone had started to get ready for bed. I remember being outside on the campgrounds and it being pitch black. Not being able to see past 15 feet in front of me at the most. One look at the sky in this setting and there was the full moon. Brighter than I had ever witnessed it…almost blinding to be honest. The older “kids” were cooped up in the RV designated for more kids to sleep in and were there playing monopoly deal. I joined in and found ourselves playing monopoly deal until 2am until I called it a night. I woke up the next day, sad to leave earlier than we’d have to because I had a shift at work to attend to even with all the begging I did with my other coworkers to cover for me.

As for the rest of this month’s highlights, I finally got the see the Van Gogh exhibit that was here at the Museum of Fine Arts. It was the most packed I have ever seen the MFAH in a long time and was glad that I was able to see Van Gogh’s work as art is always inspiring to me…Sad that the starry night wasn’t there but that’s alright. I also got to visit and hang out with Yentl this month during a trip I made to Dallas for Lacel’s scholarship interview. I haven’t seen her since our trip to Marfa and we got to talking about the Japan trip we’d be potentially taking out in the fall. We had Gyu-kaku (which she covered for like BRUH) and went over the possible itinerary that I had been researching for months now. As usual, it was always nice to see her, and I left Dallas feeling even more hopeful and motivated for the trip.

July

After one long month, I finally got my car back in perfect condition! So exciting to see my car just the way it used to be…Marwan and the rest of his team over at Legendary auto have all my gratitude for doing a stellar job. Could not thank them enough. For this month also, my family and I visited Galveston for the 4th of July, mainly for a parade and pleasure pier. It was a really nice experience getting to spend a whole outing with my family which we aren’t able to do often considering how busy we all are. Even more so with Lacel going to school soon in an entirely different city the following month. As for the final highlight of this month, I got to catch up on life with Lexi as we talk about the occurrences of life and sometimes even the past and how much we’ve grown from it. Always an experience to see her and it’s so interesting to see how I get to hang out with her during my days in college when in high school, we weren’t all that close.

August

I kicked off this month by helping my younger sister pack and move into their apartment in Dallas. We had to rent a car for all their stuff to fit because the 86 definitely was not able to carry everything that Lacel was bringing. It was a quick and pretty emotional ordeal, having one last dinner together as a family, and then having to say goodbye. I thought that would be the last time I would see my sister for a long time, but soon enough, I found myself making a trip to Dallas once a week for five weeks straight haha.

For the next highlight, it’s just a picture of me reveling in the fact that I had finally mustered the courage to go and change my major from nursing to journalism. I was shocked by how much easier it would’ve been for me to finish my associates if I had done this so much sooner. I found myself with only two more semesters, and maybe even just one if I had dedicated myself to just school. Also, in August, I had been unemployed for about two months prior. Shoutout to Daphne’s for pulling the rug from underneath my friends and I without any warning whatsoever. A double-edged sword might I admit, because while it left me unemployed suddenly, the closing of Daphne’s allowed to me find more opportunities and finally be free from the comfort of familiarity that the restaurant had provided me for about four years. Being in H-E-B made me realize how much I was missing out on such a good work environment. Everyone was absurdly and unbelievably nice…The customers in my H-E-B are also nothing compared to the customers I dealt with in food service and my goodness, it was such a nice change of pace. Happy to be here, cause after all, “here, everything’s better.”

For the last highlight of this month, Celine threw an e-boi/girl themed late birthday party. It was honestly really well set up, especially with the Airbnb and the vibes it had come with. They were constantly anxious about how their party would end up and I was always telling them that it would be a lot of fun! Which in fact, it did turn out to be a lot fun and it was so interesting to see everyone so dedicated to the theme of the party. Seeing Celine around a lot of the people they care about was really something, and to see them have such a fun and good time was all that mattered.

A little later into this month, Celine and I decided to end things on a mutual note. Things had been comfortable for a while, and while there may have still been feelings, things have stagnated…A lot…My mental health at this point of our relationship wasn’t anywhere close to where I’d want it and things haven’t been okay with me for a long time. I spent a lot of my time getting triggered over the past and my thought process started falling towards methods of self-destruction rather than dealing with things head on. I found myself either in a constant state of anger or depression over not knowing how to deal with the thoughts eating away at me. Had I waited any longer, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Sad as that may have been…It was ultimately for the better. At least I hoped it was…

September

(Insert obligatory “Do you remember”) September was thankfully one of the better and more eventful months out of the year and kicked it off with Yentl’s birthday party. I remember making the 4-hour drive for the second year in a row just to celebrate a dear friend’s birthday. I arrived later than most and found myself in the middle of a really nice neighborhood where the Airbnb was located. Interesting, I thought. The area was devoid of streetlights with a lake nearby and made me hopeful that maybe a getaway like tonight could really take me away from all that was going on in my head. I’ll drink to that.

I shyly walked in, asking people where Yentl was. I was led to the kitchen where she was and found her already multiple drinks in. Received a tight hug from her and was cordially invited to start drinking haha. I told her that I’ll a eat a little bit, maybe get re-acquainted with everyone and the Airbnb first, properly settling in before I find myself trying to drown my demons lurking behind the corner, waiting to make themselves present in my conscience. I held my trusty detox water, comprised of lemon and limes, tightly, hoping it’d be my saving grace for this party. The objective for the night: Survive…But have a good time. I chatted up with people I haven’t seen in so long…probably since Yentl’s last birthday but I guess because of the vibes the party had, it felt incredibly easy to converse.

I made my way to the pool where everyone happened to be in the meantime. Too self-conscious to jump in so I just snapshotted everyone on film for the most part. Took the liberty and made myself the party’s personal photographer for the night. I went back inside to admire the Airbnb a little bit more or sneak a drink by myself but was ushered to take shots of someone’s personal tequila concoction. “I hate tequila”, I thought…but why not? The vibe was right and the goal was to get out of my mind one way or another. I downed it, regrettably. The burn of the tequila was reminiscent of the nights I spent uncoordinated, lacking self-control, and being passed out in a fetal position beside a toilet fighting for dear life. After recollecting myself after that shot, I was immediately handed another one while not realizing it. Everybody started bracing themselves for the shot, gathering their chasers and mentally preparing for the hit while I on the other hand, looked at everybody and the cup in my possession utterly appalled at the situation unfolding in front of me. Three…two…one…cheers.

After that, the rest of the night was a blur. There came I point where I nearly blacked out because my vision had nearly gone, but after two full servings of my detox water, I was all good to go. I spent the rest of the night just talking, occasionally grooving to Jayson’s live mixing, playing smash bros and leaving undefeated, making conversations, and trying my best to stay out of my head. The party had started to slow down so I went outside to sit by the pool with a glass of wine and admire the quiet and stillness of the night. The backyard overlooked a lake and I was reminded by how nice this Airbnb really was. The moon wasn’t out so it was extra dark and allowed for some reflecting on a couple things, like the break-up…maybe on how lonely I was feeling. I watched some ducks pass by and called it a night. I went back inside and saw Yentl passed out on one of the couches. Made sure she was okay, and we had a conversation about several things, like the break-up…and how lonely I was feeling. Eventually the conversation ventured onto more positive things like how nice this Airbnb is, how nice this party was, some unwanted drama that happened during this party, and the upcoming Japan trip.

After just spending a little more time with each other, and a disagreement on who would take the last bed and sleep on the couch, we said goodnight as she had declared I get the bed. Had to respect the birthday girl’s wishes, even when it was her who had paid for the entirety of this Airbnb…Not to disclose that information or anything, but it was a LOT. I woke up, surprisingly not hungover all thanks to the detox water. As much as I had wanted to stay for any further hangouts of the day, I had to leave for a shift at 2pm. I drove the four-hour drive back home hastily, only to find out that I wasn’t needed for work and that I could actually take the day off…Amazing. Thankful that I was able to attend the party in the first place and see Yentl at all.

The following highlight was a concert I attended in Dallas for the artist Aries’ Welcome Home tour and was a largely anticipated experience for both my younger sister and I. Aries had grown to be one of my favorite artists because of how new and refreshing his sound was. I also happened to find his music during a defining point in my life, specifically during a three hour mindless drive leading to nowhere and found myself halfway to San Antonio and has become the mood and aesthetic I had been living in for a quite a while now. Months prior, my sister and I had been listening to him constantly in preparation for this concert. My only concern was that since Aries is a smaller artist, the concert might only end up being more like a listening party rather than him actually performing. By listening party, I mean that his songs are playing in the background and is overpowering his vocals or that he’s not performing for majority of the time.

My sister and I arrived at the venue with the discovery of a line that wrapped around the entire block. The suspense was too real. The feeling of knowing that I just happened to stumble upon Aries from a YouTube video of him remixing a Post Malone song into a lo-fi one, to him suddenly having the anthem of the entire spectrum of my anger and the prolonging bitterness that dwelled inside me. His music is definitely a trigger, but in a different way. His music gets me angry but doesn’t drive me to a seething, blinding rage the way I see anything remotely related to skateboarding, tall fuckboys with curly hair, or the name Kevin (fuck you Kevin…fuck you!). If anything, his music was a testament to the three months of mental and emotional anguish I had undergone earlier in 2018. I was more than ready to yell my heart and lungs out to the lyrics, “fuck your friend, that man’s a bitch, probably wish I don’t exist”, and “Promise that I will stay out of reach, far gone, cause the shit still bothers me.”

The concert left me speechless by how much energy there was from the crowd, the hype man, and Aries himself. While it may only have been just over an hour, it was the most invigorating concert I have attended by far. Probably the most fun too. As Lacel and I headed out after taking pictures with the venue and our tour merch, we were suddenly told that Aries had came out to greet people. We rushed back in and just stayed around, somewhat awkwardly, casually standing by as fans took pictures with or of him. He was able to sign a piece of paper that Lacel handed to him and he left shortly after taking a big group picture with the fans that were present. We left soon after, put on his Welcome Home album to relive the concert in the car, and got lost driving around Dallas for maybe another hour to end the night.

The last highlight for this month was Quin’s birthday celebration that him and his closest friends organized. The initial plan was to pre-game at Marian’s place and then follow up by going out to Washington Ave. which is notoriously known for Houston’s night life scene. I arrived at Marian’s apartment for the pre-game, and even before I could greet anyone, a friend came by me with a bottle of Hennessy and started pouring some in my mouth. “So it’s gonna be that type of night”, I thought haha. I finally got around to greeting everyone including the birthday boy who was in the middle of taking a shot and was then shortly handed one to take alongside Quin and a handful of other friends.

We eventually made our way to Washington Ave. in different Ubers and arrived at Concrete Cowboy. The whole group lined up and waited for our turn to get in. As we neared the entrance, I pulled out my ID in anticipation as I’m used to being told that I don’t look older than 19 most of the time. The bouncer let my friends in but said something to me that I couldn’t quite make out over the music blasting from inside. I said excuse me, thinking like, hello…my ID is legit, I promise you I’m legal and this is a valid ID haha. “No air forces”, he said. “What?”, “No air forces…”, he repeated. Back to the line I went, astonished that this was even a problem in the first place. I received a bunch of texts from my friends asking where I was and exclaimed to them that I was denied access because of the shoes I was wearing. I went to the little fence that Concrete had and exchanged my air force 1’s with Andrew’s dress shoes and lined up once more.

Eventually that was all a waste because the group ended up leaving Concrete Cowboy…WITHOUT the birthday boy. We crossed the street to another club/bar that escapes my memory but this time around they let me in regardless of my shoes. Immediately, this was already better than the experience with Concrete, from the music, the general vibe, to how less packed it was. Ruben bought everyone two rounds of shots for some reason, and it really helped loosen everybody up. While the group was having a lot of fun in this bar, a handful of us felt guilty that we were having this much fun without Quin and decided we should go back to Concrete to go celebrate with the person this night was originally dedicated to. We left to go line back up across the street, only to find others that also separated from Quin to come join us over where we were at…We all found ourselves back in the same bar/club we just left haha.

Feeling guilty of admitting to this, but we were having an absolute blast at the place we were at. My friends and I ended up having the biggest floor presence and had even started a cypher with the occasional strangers jumping in who had actual dance experience as well. My friends and I shook hands and even made friends with these strangers after finding out we had mutual dance friends and connections to major Houston dance studios like soundbox and soreal. 2PM had finally snuck its way into the night and it was time to go back to Marian’s to regroup. We arrived at Marian’s apartment to find out that Quin had gotten shitfaced at Concrete Cowboy. Quin! The same Quin who took 20+ shots on his 21st birthday, just to be fully coherent, coordinated, and mentally sound to take care of other people rather than being taken care of. There he was, bent over the toilet, clutching it for dear life. It was an absolute sight to behold, and one we would never let Quin live down. It was finally our turn to take care of him, and as friends that love Quin, we were more than happy to finally get the opportunity to pay the favor back.

October

My birth month. My favorite month too and well deserved so. October for me is the transition from the Hell that is Houston’s summer to those cool crisp Autumn afternoons. A transition from bright yellow and blue hues to the golden, orange, and amber tones that coincide with everything regarding the season of fall. Fall is Halloween. Fall is Thanksgiving. Fall is pumpkin picking and carving, apple pies, and the metaphorical dusk of the year, while interestingly sharing the same colors as a sunset. This month was surprisingly uneventful but was largely a pre-cursor for what was coming up in November: Yentl’s and my Japan trip.

The first highlight for this month was this photoshoot/hang out with fellow FRZ86 owners, Lily and Ray. I was meeting both of them for the first time and was excited that they both agreed to be models for further practice with my film camera. Really happy with how the shots came out, I felt ready for taking pictures in Japan and grew more confident in this new profound hobby. The following highlight for this month but not pictured for privacy reasons, was my approval for my travel visa. The news had me beaming. After days of gut-wrenching anxiety at the thought of refunding my airfare, the Airbnb, and all the plans just going to waste if I was not approved, the good news was a major sigh of relief. It had finally cemented the trip, and the only thing that was left, was to save as much as I can in this last month.

My money saving process for the rest of this month involved eating four slices of a day for lunch (only when I was at work), refusing to hang out, and reducing my eating out budget to just under 30 dollars. I was determined. My will power, incorruptible. I attended a hang out that involved eating, and I only spent my money on a drink. My savings were not going to be stopped…My birthday eventually came around and my family and I found ourselves in Dallas…for the second year in a row. I don’t remember exactly why we were celebrating MY birthday in Dallas just to hang out with my younger sister, but that’s just what went down. We went to Gen Korean BBQ for lunch, and followed up with boba (a must). We hung around a Kinokuniya for a little bit to kill time and were deciding on what we should do now. I just threw in that maybe we could stop by the Dallas galleria to just waste even more time, while in the back of my head, I had a burning desire to finally pull the trigger on something I’ve been wanting since the summer of 2017: a Gucci ghost ring.

I only mentioned my intentions to my younger sister because I knew my idea would be met with opposition and disappointment from my dad. After several times being asked why we had decided to go here, I mentioned that I was buying the ring, as a big gesture to myself for making it this far and as a final accessory to bring along to Japan for the outfits I had planned. Ran me back $250 dollars, but did I mind? Not one bit. So much for saving…haha.

To close out October, I departed for Dallas to pick up my sister and Yentl. The plan was to pick up Yentl from Dallas, drive back to Houston because that’s where we’ll be departing for Japan, have a layover BACK in Dallas, and after an 8-hour flight, arriving at Narita airport in Tokyo weirdly at the same time we had left from Dallas due to time zones. The plan sounds counterintuitive with the layover being in Dallas and all…but departing from Dallas added an extra 400 dollars to the airfare. It also worked because it meant that neither of us would have to make a 4-hour drive back home to our respective cities due to another layover in Dallas on the way back home.

November

This month will have an entire separate post dedicated to Japan.

Enjoy these pictures for the meantime.

December

After Japan. I had spent the rest of November coming down from the high I had experienced from my vacation. I had to deal with the come down as well as the seasonal depression that comes along with the shorter days of Winter, despite always being fond of the season. It’s going to sound a little silly to admit, but things really did start to lose meaning. I had this goal of traveling to Japan for as long as I could remember, and it was finally fulfilled! The long workdays, forty-hour work weeks, the months of research and planning, and just everything I had been doing was for the sake of trip.

Not wanting to feel as if my life had lost meaning, I forced myself to get into the holiday spirit…Or at least I tried. In the first highlight presented for this month was Travis’ Christmas present to me. A bunch of treats…and a gun. Yes, a gun. Looks like just a random assortment of food but in reality, has a ton of sentimental ties to it. As described by Travis himself, the honey buns were given because of one time we were in the campus cafeteria and I was craving honey buns. The campus was charging 2+ dollars for a single one and Travis was like, “Don’t waste your money here smh”, and told me he had spent just a little over a dollar for a multipack. The oreo thins were given because I had an obsession with oreos, the gummies because whatever, and the limon lays for a callback when Andrew, Travis, and I would have consecutive movie nights together on the summer of 2017 where we would pick our usual snacks from out midnight Walmart runs. Lastly, but definitely not least, the gun. Travis was concerned by how often I would go to so many places during the middle of the night and was also tired of being my personal protection considering he himself was armed.

The gifts left me speechless and admittedly, a little teary eyed by how thoughtful it really was. During the brief period of trying to take the moment all in, Andrew pulls out his very own and the entire room goes up in screams and laughter. Travis bought guns for the two of us! Unbelievable and entirely wild of him. I love that man to death.

The following highlight of the drink and the board game was when I finally had a first successful meeting from a connection I had on a dating app haha. Wooo Ral finally stepping out there after multiple awkward matches and getting ghosted on several platforms. The two of us met up in Dallas at a videogame restaurant bar thing, where we can eat/drink while playing on a console! Pretty cool idea and props to her for actually catering to what my interests were. Ended making a cool friend out of that meet up since. The rest of the following highlights were just more Christmas festivities such as, baking Christmas themed cookies, secret Santa with the OG5 + DJ, H-E-B white elephant Christmas party, and seeing Christmas lights with Jackie at the River Oaks neighborhood.

Just like this year in review itself, I was so eager to get the year over and done with. 2019 seemed to be bad year for the world, myself included, but finishing writing this up in 2021…I only wish I had treasured the moments just a little longer, not knowing what I will be missing the following year.

P.S. If you’re just a person randomly coming through this, thank you for your time to scroll/read

#year in review #2019

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 4 years

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APH College AU: China

Oh hey look I’m doing the Asians now? Perhaps! AU intro here, highly suggested you read for context of why China is out of college.

Also, I know chefs aren’t supposed to be a waiter/see customers and cook at the same time, but too bad. He likes interacting with people personally and is good at knowing when to go back into the kitchens to make sure the food doesn’t burn.

- Owner and head chef of a small Chinese restaurant called Upside Down Luck (*any suggestions for other names are cool!*). He’s thinking about expanding pretty soon, since business is good and very consistent and a second restaurant would probably be as successful as the first. - 50% of business is college students, so he knows most of them. Most have come to his place at least once, and some, such as America, are regulars. - He's really good at memorizing faces and names, and can usually recognize people from the college. They get treated with either “Welcome back! How’s school? I heard there was a small fire in the labs!” or “You, again? *sigh* Same as last time?” - Also relating to that, he never lets students get more than two bottles of alcohol, especially late at night, and has never fell for a fake ID (partly thanks to his siblings telling him who’s a sophomore, freshman, etc). A true mom. - Knows all the school gossip also because his siblings, especially Taiwan and Japan, but South Korea also lets things slip because he forgets China doesn’t know; at dinner or something he’ll be like “Remember how ___?” And China whips around, very surprised and says “What??” with a raised eyebrow and a look that says s p i l l t h e t e a s i s - He always complains about making his food too “Americanized” (?) but honestly it’s more Authentic Chinese style than most people - DESPISES Panda Express and their orange chicken. CHN: “Why is this sweet????” HK: “Chill, that’s just American Chinese food. Anyways, it’s okay tasty.” “No.” “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

- A whiz at budgeting and bargaining; always stays on top of his finances and sometimes manages his siblings’ finances as well when he’s really pissed at them for being lazy/not responsible with their money. A lot of the restaurant’s success is due to his cunning and money managing. - When he’s cooking or frustrated or hot, his ponytail goes up into a sort of bun. He’s not too happy with how it looks on him, but it’s just more convenient that way, either because regulations/sanitary purposes or to get his neck cooler. - He gives his siblings 20-30% off on restaurant stuff most of the time, but it varies a little with mood. Most other students have been jealous at some point or another, but the other side of the deal is that they can’t call Yao “mother” or “grandma” or “grandpa” in any form. They still do it though, and then he’s like “No privileges for you!1!2!1!!” - Also, the restaurant layout is super fengshui, because Yao is superstitious as heck, but also because it’s actually useful for interior design. Like it’s all perfectly aligned, windows face north-south (to get fresh air and sunlight), the door doesn’t have clutter around it, etc. It honestly looks a bit minimalist but also traditional at the same time. During the Lunar New Year he puts up menshen (门神) on the door and couplets on the sides of it, and he always has a small Metteyya (弥勒佛) statue/idol/thingy in the back of the restaurant for money and luck. - Laughs internally at people failing at using chopsticks. (He provides knives and forks and spoons of course, but there are always the handful who keep trying chopsticks). I think he’s the type to just... casually watch you struggle in vain and won’t do anything to help. Of course, if you’re a friend, then he’ll definitely try to teach you, but he doesn’t mind having a laugh at most of his customers. I think South Korea, Hong Kong, and perhaps Vietnam (Japan, Taiwan and Macau would be too kind to laugh and chopsticks aren’t widely used in other Asian countries) would stand and watch as well, taking out their phones and recording any particularly hilarious attempts. - He doesn’t live right above the restaurant, but has an apartment 3 blocks over. It’s not small, but not too big either, so when his siblings come over it gets kinda crowded. South Korea and Hong Kong are always telling him to move out and get a larger place, but China just kinda refuses out of sentimentality. “I like this place too much to leave it!” - Wakes up at 7 AM every morning and walks around the neighborhood and sometimes goes to the college to visit India. He likes routine, and considers it a really refreshing part of his morning. - I haven’t decided a lot of the other ancient’s lives yet, but China and the others would definitely get together for chats once in a while. All of them just happened to stick around close by after college and they’d talk about work and college gossip. College gossip is provided by China and India, but they all know a bit since their siblings are still there. - He majored in business and took a whole lot of outside culinary arts classes in college, and also happened to take a bunch of other random classes just for the heck of it. So now he’s educated on things like human behavior and what people would do in a zombie apocalypse + why they react that way, garbage and sustainability, and medieval studies + folklore through Game of Thrones. He considered taking a tree climbing course but didn’t, just because he didn’t want to waste time relearning how to climb trees with ropes. - Corollary to that, he probably has the weirdest fun facts because of all this miscellaneous info he’s collected. “Did you know there’s immortal cancer cells?” “I don’t want to know, Yao.” (Above fact is true but the story of the cells is really sad (and twisted and makes me kinda angry). They’re called HeLa, after Henrietta Lacks.) - His dorm room was probably on the neater side. However, it wasn’t too meticulously organized, and sorta like a thrown together hodgepodge of themes/aesthetics. Not that pretty to look at but it did its job well for him; he never really lost things in his room. - Loved math assignments (even though he grumbled) and bs-ed English, didn’t do too well in it. I think he’d honestly be ok with a B+, and his grades would’ve ranged from 87s to As depending on subject, with possibly one C+ where he just didn’t really apply himself. But he still applies the Asian Parent Standard to his siblings (but isn’t too strict about it most times. Just when he feels they’re really consistently not doing their best when they could be aceing a class). - He loved history though, and took a lot of courses about it that he didn’t need to graduate. This is also how he met India. - I feel like Yao would have a lot of lifehacks, both for managing college work, job lifehacks and things he uses in the restaurant daily, and tricks for outdoor work ex. farm work. Like if you put him outdoors in a rural area and told him to grow crops and raise chickens, he’d totally be okay with it, and would probably be able to do it well. This is in contrast to his siblings, who are more of city (?) kids. - Of course, he’s proficient with tech stuff and office work, but isn’t as good at it as Japan or HK. - Has a 3/4 heat tolerance and a 5/10 cold tolerance. He warms up by cooking (hot stove) or drinking warm water or tea. - Proud, a bit overly critical of people and nagging. He often gets tiny bursts of anger/intense annoyance at small things, and it makes him scary sometimes. (I hc it’s like this; someone does something slightly off/wrong and he kinda has a mini explosion, but it doesn’t affect his overall mood and he’ll still be pretty cheery to you after the incident is corrected.) - Again, his anger isn’t really full blown anger, but more a bunch of small annoyed explosions. It’s rare he gets mad, but if so, it’s usually a long tirade and lecture with lots of hand motions and shouting. It’s sorta scary since he doesn’t often get like that, so it’s serious when he does. - Relationships with some of his siblings are strained a little. They’re like a sorta mismatched family with lots of squabbles and petty disagreements, especially about who can order the others around. - Honestly a people person, he could ramble on and on for days about his life. Some people find him tiring, but he’s a good mixer with strangers. Casual friends with a lot of people, especially those who appreciate sarcasm and can snark right back at him.

Thanks for reading! I didn’t want to include too much about China’s college days but ended up writing more than I intended. Also, the “random college courses” I mentioned are all real classes, obviously not from the same university, but they exist (pretty cool!!) Next up will probably be SK or HK (I have more ideas for them than some of the others). Feedback is welcome and appreciated!

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raleighliving · 4 years

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Pros and Cons of College Life in Raleigh

Last time I wrote about colleges in Raleigh generally and how it’s not like other college towns. This time, I’m gonna be speaking a bit more about the pros and cons so it should be a little more specific.

Before that, however, I wanna make this clear: Raleigh is not somewhere you should move to for college unless the school you’ve applied to is your dream school.

In terms of academics, there are better choices than NC State or WPU. If you wanna study biology or medicine, schools like UNC-W or Duke would probably be a better fit for instance. If you live in Raleigh, don’t pick a school just because it’s close; if you live in another part of the states and you want to attend an east coast school there are options all along the east coast that you should consider.

Raleigh is a great place to live and work, and there are plenty of friendly people here; but a degree from the right university can make or break your career (depending on the field and other aspects of course).

As a person suffering from anxiety, the question “Do you want the good news or bad news first” has always been a terrible one for me. Up until I hear the bad news, it could be literally anything regardless of what the person asking was doing or how much of the task they were on I’m familiar with.

Similarly, living in Raleigh (or really anywhere for that matter) is going to present a lot of subjective pros and cons. Please keep in mind this is gonna be super subjective, but I hope you enjoy reading this even if we disagree.

But you didn’t come here to read three paragraphs of disclaimer. So lets start by listing the good stuff.

Raleigh is a city full of vibrant color, culture, and cool shit. You can find cool things almost anywhere you look, regardless of where you are in Raleigh. I mean, all of the pictures (including those in this article) I use for this blog I’ve taken in Raleigh or nearby it. As a result, the first pro has got to be the beltline highway system.

The beltline is a highway system composed of I-440, I-40, and parts of I-540 that encapsulates all of Raleigh. It connects north and south Raleigh while having downtown in the center, letting travelers easily reach nearly any part of Raleigh.

I’ve lived on the border of Durham, Cary, and Rolesville at different points in my life. I’ve had to make trips to Garner and Apex for various reasons. At no point in my 20+ year stay have I ever had to make a city trip that lasted longer than a half-hour (one way). It makes working in Raleigh especially easy, since the abundance of highway access points and the convenience of the loop design means I’m never too far from that loop.

It even helps with adjusting to your new environment if you move here (for school or other reasons) since if you’re ever lost, the highways can act as a point to re-orient yourself by. I know I’ve had to do it plenty of times in the past, and it can really save you from looking like an idiot if you excuse your lost-ness by just saying “Oh yeah mate, I was just tryna get on the highway. Saves so much time.”

Does this mean Raleigh has the best transportation network of any city? Hell no. Does this mean that Raleigh has the best highway system? Not even close. But it’s still super nice, especially for students. You’ll run into the problems any urban place has like rush hour or crash delays, but this is mitigated by the fact you’ll be using it for our second pro: Everything happens in Raleigh.

Well, not EVERYTHING everything but as I’ve ranted about before; there’s plenty to do and see in the city of Raleigh (even if you’re a student).

For instance, according to raleighnc.gov, Raleigh is home to over 200 public parks. Not a fan of parks? Into more electronic entertainment? Then visit our very own “Arcade of Thrones” downtown and get your game on with your fellow nerds

Boring stuff like restaurants and night clubs aside, Raleigh is home to literally thousands of businesses and social clubs for you to partake in. Farmers markets, gun and knife shows, fishin’ holes and public church barbecues are available for that classic southern charm; but don’t forget to make use of our barcades, art festivals, concerts, comedy clubs and sport centers.

The only reason why I’m not going into more detail about examples like First Friday, the downtown cultural festivals, PNC arena or other more specific events is because I want to write about them in-depth in the future.

Of course, students having things to do and places to go is only part of the college experience. If you’re gonna come to Raleigh for college, the best pro I could possibly mention is the support network.

Not to say that we’re exactly all one big happy family here, but in Raleigh you get that nice blend of metropolitan city life with your rural state. Orgs like the LGBT Center, Goodwill, Raleigh Missions, and more support locals in need constantly and provide for the many different groups around here.

Libraries and civic centers share the same city as mosques and churches which neighbor women's shelters and LGBT+ advocacy groups. If you’re a republican or democrat, that’s fine but be prepared to meet the other members of the political spectrum since groups like the Democratic-Socialists of America (DSA) are active downtown as well.

If you need help or want to help others, there’s a 98% chance that you’ll find someone or something out there that meets your needs. Join a community through Facebook or Nextdoor and you’ll see every diaper drive, garage sale, and community recommendation pop up whenever one is needed.

Of course, this brings us to our first con. Raleigh may be home to some of the nicest people I’ve ever met but it doesn’t mean you won’t run into some problem people sooner or later.

There’s of course the typical collegiate douchebags, the upper-middle class young scions of no import who fumble through life with no regard for others because mommy and daddy will perpetually care for them, but being a red state you’ll also run into the more colorful republicans.

Every year there’s an anime convention called “Animazement” downtown and every year there’s a small herd of fundamentalist Christians warning all the otaku who’ll listen that they’re going to hell. Drive around town long enough and you’ll find a few different businesses that have made their opinions on things like masks and social distancing clear, not to mention there’s no shortage of QAnoners and alt-right sympathists.

Of course, you shouldn’t let others dictate the quality of your life or the area you live in but you should be aware that these people exist. Raleigh is more liberal than other parts of North Carolina for sure but it’s not the leftist paradise those other parts would say it is.

Other than the coinflip that is neighbors, Raleigh is kind of a pricy place to live. The cost of living is on average higher than other cities in the US, cheaper still than New York of Californian cities, but pricey nonetheless.

Rent in Raleigh for a one bedroom apartment is on average $975 according to bestplaces.net and can go as high as $1200 depending on the complex and location.

That, with a federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, means you’ll need

>Multiple jobs >Multiple roommates >A good paying job

or any combination of the two to be able to afford rent, utilities, and food beyond cup ramen. There’s housing programs like Section 8 and military housing initiatives to help, but for students you’re looking at some pretty steep housing costs for anywhere that’s not student dorms.

You can get a good job that pays decent, of course, nothing’s impossible. However, finding one that won’t require roommates would demand full time hours (which might be difficult to make on student scheduling) or a degree (which you’re probably at college to get). Most living spaces require you make at least 3x the advertised rent to even be considered as well, which may limit students to seedier student living complexes like University Village or The Proper (Formerly Vie, formerly wolf creek).

Finally, if you move to Raleigh for college be prepared to drive. A lot.

As I mentioned earlier, the beltline is a god send for students and people looking to explore; but it’s also practically mandatory for moving around Raleigh. Public transit in Raleigh isn’t non-existent but it’s pretty damn close.

Live between 10-15 minutes from your desired destination? Taking the bus is gonna be anywhere from half an hour to a full hour, and that’s if you even live near a bus route. If you’re like myself and habitually on the edge of Raleigh, be prepared to drive for a bit before you even see a GoRaleigh bus let alone a stop.

The buses do at least run pretty late (Closing normally around 11PM), but the lack of public transit lines and bike-able roads means that you’ll be adding to the urban congestion more likely than not.

Okay with driving? Hope you’re okay with paying another arm and a leg, because at most schools down here tuition doesn’t cover your parking pass.

NC State prices range from $105 to over $400 depending on your credit hours and where you’re staying at. Other schools like William Peace only charge a flat $130 for their parking decal, but most of the schools require you throw them an extra Apple Pencil or two for the privilege of being able to park your own vehicle close to the actual campus.

There are workarounds, like parking off-campus nearby, but those carry risks and penalties that can add up over time. The audacity these schools have to take thousands in tuition and then demand that you pay and additional fee to just use the parking lot.

Hopefully, though, regardless of my thoughts if you live in Raleigh or North Carolina in general and you’re considering attending one of the fine establishments here; I’ve provided you some food for thought.

College can be a scary experience for many, and the area around it can really make or break your experiences. We don’t have the biggest party schools or the most glamorous cityscape; but if I had to go through the collegiate system again I honestly couldn’t imagine doing it anywhere else.

Next time I’ll be talking about some alternatives to College though, so stay tuned for that.

Special shout out to the DSA of Raleigh as well. They didn’t help write any of this or communicate with me during the production of this article, but they’ve been doing some amazing work downtown with the homeless during the pandemic. They are some of the most amazingly hard working individuals who care immensely for the community and you can check them out on dsanc.org.

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missmentelle · 6 years

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I’m 18 and I have until the end of the year to be completely independent because I will receive no safety net after dec 31. My only ‘approved’ choices are 50 grand debt on a degree I don’t want/can’t use and will pay out of pocket, or americorp. Struggling to figure out what to do, scared I won’t get to finish even my community college associates degree and can’t afford to live alone, any advice?

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re in this situation. The world is a hard enough place at the best of times, but being out on your own at 18 with no help is daunting. It’s hard to know what you really want to do at that age, or to know what kinds of options you have available. The good news, though, is that it can be done - even without parental support, it’s possible to achieve your goals and live a good life.

You say that your only “approved” choices are a 4-year university or going into Americorp - I’m assuming that these are the only options that your parents or guardians approve of. The truth of the matter is, though, that if your parents/guardians aren’t financing your life path, they aren’t entitled to any say in what you do. There are a lot more options in life than just a four-year liberal arts degree or earning a small stipend for AmeriCorps service. Some of the options you have available to you include:

Take out loans or financial aid to cover your tuition and costs of living while you finish your associate’s degree, and supplement your income with a part-time job, or full-time work in the summer term. Even if you need to go into a small amount of debt to finish your community college degree, it’s okay - community colleges actually provide excellent value for the cost, and it gives you a credential under your belt. Plus, many of those credits can likely be transferred to a four-year degree if you ever do decide to get your degree later in life, and you’re paying a lot less for those credits at community college than you would at a university. Talk to the financial aid or student services office at your college - they will be able to help you figure out this situation and point you toward financial resources that you can take advantage of.

Trade school. People who look down on electricians, plumbers, heating and cooling technicians, pipefitters and mechanics are snobs and fools - those are professions that have excellent pay and often have great benefits, and involve going into little or no debt for your education. Trades allow you to work and learn your skills on-the-job as you get certified, so you are able to support yourself while you learn. Lifetime earnings for most trades are higher than earnings for a bachelor’s degree, but without the student loans, and going into a trade would allow you to quickly gain financial independence and then some.

Tech or vocational school. Community college, university and trade school are not the only options - many young people seem to overlook technical and vocational schools, where you can learn highly employable skills and certifications in one- or two-year programs. This includes a lot of medical certifications, such as ultrasound tech, medical transcription, medical laboratory technician, licensed practical nurse, or respiratory tech. You can also earn certifications in IT and computer skills, industrial design and drafting, construction equipment operating, special needs education and assisting, safety inspection, and so much more. Two of my close friends went this route after dropping out of college - one became a medical lab technician, and the other went into industrial drawing (not a fine arts degree - he makes 3D computer models of engineering equipment for a living). Both completed their certifications in two years, both were hired immediately out of school, and both were able to purchase their first homes by themselves in their mid-twenties. This is a path that can also quickly lead to financial independence.

Join the military. The military is definitely not for everyone, and not everyone can pass the strict medical requirements for joining. If you are willing to consider it, though, and you score reasonably well on the military aptitude test, you can have several options available to you within the military, with all your training provided and paid for. The pay is not great, especially in the beginning, but you will be looked after, and if you decide not to re-enlist after your first stint is up, you can come out of the military in your early 20s and get your university education paid for by the GI bill. I’ve met several people who went this route since moving to the USA, and many of them are now coming out of graduate school debt-free in their late 20s. Again, it’s not for everyone, but it’s an option.

Give university a try as cheaply as possible. You don’t want to end up 50k in debt for a useless degree, and that’s fair - but if you’re careful and make some smart decisions, It’s possible to earn a university degree and not end up in that situation. Do your first two years cheaply at community college, and then transfer to an in-state public university. You could also look into doing your final two years at a more obscure, less “prestigious” school that might be willing to offer you a more generous financial aid or scholarship package - schools in “flyover” states or small towns will sometimes offer more generous financial aid in order to attract students. Plus, if you’re transferring in at age 20 and living alone, you may qualify for more generous financial aid since you don’t have any assistance from your parents. Do some research into degree programs - it’s true that a degree in English or Sociology might not get you very far, but degrees in computer science, nursing, engineering, accounting, business and mathematics are generally a good financial choice with high employability in their chosen field. My brother is about to finish his engineering degree in a specialized field next year, and he already has a six-figure job offer on the table. Speak to some advisers at local universities - they will be able to talk to you about transferring your community college credits, financial aid packages and programs available at these universities.

Work for a bit. I grew up and did my undergraduate degree in Canada, so Americorps was not an option, but from what I understand, Americorps volunteers earn very little compared to other types of full-time employment. If you don’t feel ready to decide what you want to do with your life, it’s okay to take some time off, work full-time somewhere, and just get used to living on your own and managing your own money before you make any big decisions. I knew plenty of people who took a gap year or two off after high school, earned some money, lived with roommates, and then went back into education when they felt ready to do so, or found jobs that would advance them up the career ladder. There are still a handful of career paths out there where you can earn decent money without any formal post-secondary education, or where your employer will cover the cost of your education - air traffic control, rail traffic control, banking and insurance come to mine. I know people who went into all four of those professions and now earn comfortable salaries without having completed a degree.

It can be daunting to try to figure out what you want to do with your life, so I recommend that you start by thinking about what kind of life you would like to lead, and work backwards to figure out what you need to do in order to get there. Do you want to work with your hands, or at a desk? Do you want to work indoors or outside? Do you want to wear dress clothes to work, or would you rather have a job where you can show up in jeans? How much money do you think you need to make in order to be comfortable? Would you rather earn more money and work longer hours, or earn less money and have more free time? Do you want to live in a big city, a small town, or a rural area? Are you willing to spend more years in school to earn more money, or would you rather earn less money and be done school faster? What do you want your average day or week to look like? It’s also important to remember that you are allowed to change your mind. You are not married to the first career path that you choose at the age of 19. You are allowed to try something, decide that you don’t like it, and try something else. You can always go back to school, switch your program, or explore another career - it doesn’t matter if you’re 23, 32 or 48 years old, those options will always be there. Life without a safety net is difficult, but it’s not impossible, and student loans are not the end of the world - it’s okay to go into a bit of debt if it will get you closer to where you want to be.

If you need other advice about living on your own, choosing a career and living within your budget, also recommend that you check out @yournewapartment - it’s a great blog for figuring out the basics of adulting, especially if you don’t have that extra parental support. Best of luck to you!

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tdgeog4390-19 · 5 years

Text

Not all that Glitters is Gold

The meaning of rural:

Looking back on my very first post about my initial thoughts of rural Canada, I had a very personal and narrow perspective. I mostly thought about the geography of rural Canada and the physical features that separated the provinces from each other. Don’t get me wrong; diversity and Canadian nature are very important aspects of rural space, but after exploring more dimensions over this course, I have come to realize the real complexity behind this term. I really feel like the meaning of rural is different for everyone, as it is the remote spaces that people give recognition to in accordance with their experiences. For example, we all think to analyze the countryside of Ontario, but I bet the discussion would be very different if this class were being held in northern Canada, or on the west coast... or say, Africa! This was especially brought to my attention during Abdul’s presentation in class and in one of the exhibitions at the art gallery which told the story of third-world fishermen risking their lives, and usually becoming drug users.

Rural Canada is also a beautiful space, but it is also where a lot of destruction and conflict arises involving the extraction of natural resources. I think that we could relate rural to the saying, “not all that glitters is gold”, in that although everything may appear beautiful and simple, there is a certain evil that is behind that aesthetic curtain. I think that there is a lot of work left to be done in making sure we don’t destroy the purity of rural Canada, while still encouraging community development.

How do I envision rural Ontario in 10-100 years?

I think that populations in smaller townships will start to grow. An article from Calgary states that as residents grow older, and younger people move out of these towns, rural communities across Canada are looking to encourage immigration as a way to rejuvenate their workforce and expand their tax base. Therefore I think it is likely that rural areas may become more culturally diverse over time, which would be interesting. I suppose an example of this is the increase of Mexican immigrants working in tomato greenhouses in Leamington, Ontario, which I have seen first hand. The challenge is attracting them and convincing them to stay in the country rather than in the more opportunistic cities, but some provinces have started to improve on this by collaborating small towns with provincial and federal governments. Initiatives such as customized immigration plans (towns in N.B), social media campaigns (in B.C.), Temporary Foreign Worker Programs, and simply making rural communities more welcoming has drawn the interest of workers from Germany, Russia, and the Philippines.

I don’t think there will be much change of Rural Ontario in the next 10 years, but within the next 50 years, I would predict that we would start to notice these population shifts. Although it is expected to be very slow, even migration of Canadian citizens out of urban centers may be likely as cities become overcrowded and overpriced without expanding in time. In the next 50-100 years, I would imagine a St.Jacobs-like transformation to occur in many rural communities that are nearby a larger ‘city’ center. As discussed in class, we had all agreed that St.Jacobs was on the edge of being classified as a rural town. Towns in Ontario may be likely to see similar transformations if marketing strategies for tourism and businesses enhance.

With 2030 global water shortage and 2050 food shortage threatens us, author Robert Giles believes in a rural future, and has made a case study in West Virginia. The design is pitched as the dynamic, systems-solution to long-term global problems. It is made up of over 150 small businesses, guided by GIS and prescriptive software based on the latest science, working together to manage rural lands profitably and to meet rising food and water needs. Although ideas like this may be far fetched, I think the concept is admirable, showing the real opportunities of rural land. Lastly, I could also envision rural Ontario becoming a very green functioning society in the very distant future (~100 years). Already many urban and rural centers around Ontario have begun to prioritize green infrastructure and technology by using nature for community economic development and resilience. I would only imagine this to increase as Canada continues to realize the importance of our environment and protecting rural resources.

How do we get people to care about rural Ontario?

I think it’s important to remind people of the relationships in rural communities, opportunities and the productivity they offer. Rural Ontario is home to many resource industries and agriculture, with about 17% of Canadians living in these areas. Looking back at the presentations during the rural symposium, it is clear that agri-policies are not enough to address rural communities, and that issues are more specific. I think that the best approach is applying place-based development for the future of Ontario, focusing on youth, transportation, and economy.

On January 17, 2019 the director, Brent Royce, of Ontario Federation of Agriculture (OFA) released a statement discussing the need for investment in Ontario agriculture and rural communities. The video below is a 2-minute audio of OFA’s advice to the government.

youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=167&v=uQS5q6sOKjc

Royce declares that investing in rural Ontario will create economic opportunity for everyone. Specifically, investing in natural gas, infrastructure, transportation, health care, and rural schools. Royce says that Ontario’s economy has the most to gain from prioritizing neglected regions in the province, and that it it will jump start farms, agri-business and rural communities, all while stimulating all of Ontario in the end. The OFA understands the province’s current fiscal situation and the need for restraint, but they also know that sound public investment in Ontario agriculture and rural communities will pay dividends and will ultimately improve Ontario’s fiscal outlook by driving the economy forward.

Ultimately…

The future of rural Canada will likely look very different among provinces, as there are many different conceptions of ‘rural’, and there is no one universal model for rural innovation. One thing is for sure, we need more connectivity and more meaningful development within rural Ontario. Rural policy needs to be prioritized and be considered at the very start of policymaking in Ontario, Canada, and worldwide. Does anyone else have different thoughts on how we can best approach the sustainability of rural Ontario?

-P.s. thank you all for the great discussions over the semester! Good luck to everyone in your future adventures! :)

References

https://calgaryherald.com/news/national/canadas-small-cities-and-rural-areas-desperate-for-immigrants

https://www.cicnews.com/2016/10/rural-areas-and-small-cities-across-canada-eager-to-attract-more-newcomers-108558.html#gs.49deoq

http://www.ruralsystem.com/rural-future/

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peckhampeculiar · 6 years

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True to form

Words Katie Allen; Photo Lima Charlie

One of the best places to find a stylish outfit – not to mention a gift or two – is Form SE15 on Bellenden Road.

Locals will have noticed that the gal behind the garms is Jo Johnson, previously manager of Bellenden Road favourite Bias, which closed earlier this year.

She opened her own store in May. “I really enjoy it. I love being my own boss, making all the decisions. Everything in the store [is there] because I want it to be.”

The premises was previously a vintage shop, and the owners wanted it to remain retail. The lease came up at the same time as Jo’s role at Bias came to an end: “It was serendipitous really that things fell into place at the right time.”

“When I found out the shop was closing, I had a couple of months where I was like: ‘OK, what can I do?’ If I was ever going to open the shop it was the perfect time. But I didn’t have the financial means- [eventually] I got a government start up loan and a friend invested.”

It was a whirlwind. “In January, I found out I was losing my job. I was doing my business plan, all the while not knowing if it was going to happen. Literally in the middle of March I was approved for [the loan]. Six weeks later, the shop opened.”

Form SE15 sells clothes and accessories for women and men, as well as a curated collection of bathroom products and gifts, from the luxurious to the quirky, all handpicked by Jo.

“I want people to step into the shop and feel uplifted, [have] a really happy, positive experience. Other people can do austere, pared back very well, and that’s not me, I’m more of a maximalist than a minimalist. I like a lot of print, I like a lot of colour.”

Fashion runs deep - her mother was a seamstress. “I literally had a toy sewing machine at eight, making disco outfits for my Sindy… I knew very early on that I wanted to at least train in fashion,” says Jo, who hails from rural Norfolk. “I go back [to Norfolk] every few months or so and I really appreciate it now. At the time I couldn’t wait to get away.”

She did fashion design at what was then called Norfolk Institute of Art and Design followed by a degree in fashion promotion and illustration at Epsom university. It was the early 90s, when Britpop was exploding, a “really freeing time”. “I was in the Blur camp. Within six months of moving, I shaved my hair off and pierced my nose,” she laughs.

After university, she moved to London and worked as a photographer’s assistant, then in a variety of creative fashion jobs while battling long-term illness, including as an art agent and starting her own fashion label.

She had had several jobs in fashion retail before working at Bias. While there she gained invaluable experience in going on buying trips, scouting new labels and going to trade shows. “I saw behind the scenes, it was a really good learning curve.” She adds: “If you work in a shop in the area, you start to soak up what people like, what people want.”

Her customers are mainly locals, with a mainstay of working women and mums on maternity leave. “People know me from [Bias], so a little bit of trust is there. People like to feel comfortable with a shop and trust the people who run it… [I wanted to] make it a boutique where you can get gifts, a card, a candle. People like to spend their money in the area, support small business.”

It is the same vibe that she brings to her own buying choices. All of her clothing brands have “traceable supply chains” – she says: “You have to be ethically and sustainably aware these days, especially if you’re an independent.

“It’s what makes me different. And also, people will ask questions, that’s the other thing about round here: people want to know about why you’ve got things in, where it’s from.”

Her ceramics and jewellery come from local makers and she stocks Peckham Soul wares, while her beauty products are carefully chosen too. She highlights Austin Austin and Magic Organic Apothecary.

“I am one shop, but you can still make an impact. You want the shop to make money of course, but you can do it in a positive way.”

Bestselling brands at the moment include Baum und Pferdgarten for women and for men, UK brand Far Afield. Her recommendations for Christmas party season include Gestuz’ black sequin maxi skirt and a dark green animal print jumpsuit, or from Baum und Pferdgarten, a lemon mohair sweater with balloon sleeves.

She notes: “[In London] you tend to see people want to dress well day to night time. What works is relaxed, cool, rather than anything too fussy.” Her fashion muses are Tilda Swinton, Neneh Cherry and Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but she also takes inspiration from the streets around her.

“It’s such a cool place to watch what people are wearing. On Rye Lane you have all the different African textiles and patterns, a lot of sportswear, more young people coming in. There’s such a mix of cultures and ages in the area.”

She recently moved to Queen’s Road, and previously lived on the other end of Bellenden Road. She first moved to Peckham 16 years ago. “I came here, saw the house, walked round, and felt really comfortable, in a way I hadn’t felt comfortable in any other part of London. Peckham’s the first place [in London] that I felt like I could make it my home.”

“There’s also a lot of green space – if you’re from Norfolk, you need it!

“I didn’t want to have a shop anywhere else, because I felt like I wouldn’t know the people as well. I never want to move, you’re going to have to crowbar me out.”

She has worked hard to make Form SE15 a “friendly, local, neighbourhood shop” and after six months already has regulars. “You become a bit of an agony aunt in a nice way, you hear everyone’s problems.”

She runs events which have so far included terrarium-making with Jar & Fern, leather workshop with Rye Hide and candlemaking with Join Candles. She has a Christmas wreath making class on 13 December, and she is thinking about more for 2019.

One particular item everyone should add to their Christmas lists is a new candle called Nurture, that Jo has created with Join Candles. Priced £15, with a rose geranium oil base, 100% of the profits are going to Peckham Foodbank. “Peckham’s given me a lot, it’s a way to give back,” she says.

I take the chance to ask Jo what we’ll all be wearing next year. Animal print is continuing as a big trend, she notes, as well as sportswear. As for colours, we’ll be donning silver and also luminous yellow and orange: “real highlighter colours”. Thanks to Jo, it looks like the future is going to be bright.

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raygoodwinmajournal · 4 years

Photo

An Introduction to MA Photography

What is a better way to end a BA (Hons) degree than to start another degree right after it has finished? While most people finish their undergraduate degree and either find work in their field or completely disregard it entirely, I decided to continue on with my academic journey and undertake a postgraduate degree to follow on from my undergraduate degree.

But, why? What’s the reason to add another two years of degree work and spend more time in education? There are a couple of answers to those questions. Firstly, I want to further myself not just professionally, but also academically. It was only five years ago that I retook my GCSEs because my results at school were subpar to get into any college/university, and at the time I was a carer for my Mother. Within those five years, I have the GCSE grades I need, completed an Access to HE Art & Design course and a BA (Hons) Photography degree. With any hope, in two years I shall have completed an MA Photography degree to add to my list of qualifications. To go back a year or two prior to retaking my GCSEs, I was on Jobseekers Allowance which was the lowest, darkest time of my life. I was told I couldn’t do anything with my life as I could find work (living in rural Devon with no drivers license severely limits employment) - so it is a massive middle finger to my Job Advisor at the Job Centre who belittled me and tarred me with the same brush as they did with the people who purposely leached from the system. The other reason is simple: I have two paid jobs at PCA which in this current climate I can’t afford to lose.

The aspect of studying at a higher level than a BA is exciting, yet rather unnerving. It is all totally self-lead which means I have to do all of the leg work, and not have to rely on course mates or lecturers for guidance as it was in the BA. Now, it is entirely up to me regarding where I go with my practice, giving me free rein to do whatever it is that I want. And what is that, exactly?

Renault Safrane - Mileage May Vary - July 2020

My final project in my BA was Mileage May Vary - the documentation of cars that escaped the 2009 Vehicle Scrappage Scheme in a time where fossil fuelled dinosaurs are being replaced by electric vehicles. I am very proud this project, and I would like to continue with it, but I would rather keep that is a personal project to do alongside my degree. This leaves my work for 101 open to ‘interpretation’ as it were. Thankfully there is one direction that I want to revisit and continue.

Rendle Street - Alienated Spaces - November 2018

PHOT201 saw me explore my own feelings of alienation within our Capitalist society in Alienated Spaces. This featured dehumanised urban landscapes totally devoid of people used a semiotic to evoke my feelings on how we live today. I enjoyed this project as it was more personal that a lot of my previous work, and wanted to explore further. Once PHOT201 ended, I was in a creative slump and didn’t necessarily want to create anything, which eventually MMV came afterwards following months of productive ennui. Now, it is time for this work to be followed up and explored further, in Epochal Territories.

Talbot Gardens - Epochal Territories - November 2020

Epochal Territories follows in the footsteps of Alienated Spaces, documenting liminal, transient spaces devoid of any people to evoke feelings of alienation, isolation, estrangement and political ennui. This project will utilise various landscapes across my local area depending on current travel restrictions. This beings up the elephant in the room which is COVID-19. I felt it was appropriate to being back this body of work especially in the current climate due to myself become more an more uneasy about what is happening, and feeling indifferent to how we live. I feel myself increasing becoming listless and more connected with this body of work as time goes on, so it felt right to go back and carry on with it.

Shooting for this project is going to be somewhat different compared to previous endeavours because I plan to shoot entirely digitally. Before, I have shot my projects on film because I felt that it fitted my personal aesthetic and work process, but it is becoming increasingly more expensive and inconvenient to shoot film, with digital being much more convenient and easier to manage - not to mention free. My only concern in my Canon 5D MKi, with my particular version coming from 2007. The 5D has been my workhorse for over four years and hasn’t skipped a beat, but I am aware that each actuation of the shutter is one less it can ever do. On the bright side, since having glasses I can see that the photographs the 5D produces are sharper than I ever remember and really goes to show how much of a great piece of equipment it is, despite it being an elder in the full frame SLR world. I also am going to shoot the photographs entirely monochromatically, because it is more of a challenge compared to colour and increases to spaces alienated perception. In addition to this, I have also wanted to shoot a B&W project since PHOT101′s Urban Collage.

Cornwall Street - Urban Collage - December 2017

Urban Collage was for the most part shot digitally and in monochrome. I photographed various electrical boxes around Plymouth and Exeter which usually are covered with aged stickers. From all of the photographs I took of the electrical boxes, I made composites of sticker patters from those boxes by splicing them together and making it seem that they were really on them, but in fact were completely fictitious. It is strange to think that despite it’s perceived irrelevance, Urban Collage is much more relevant than first realised looking back to a first year project.

What is next? I have plenty of reading to be doing, with texts from Mark Fisher, Francis Fukuyama, Guy Debord and Jacques Derrida, along with various other texts and Theses. The other thing to start is creating photographs, and trawling Google Maps for potential locations, as well as just going outside and finding places on foot. I try not to get bogged down with looking at other practitioners, as I want to create photographs myself rather than taking queues from various artists. I feel that contextual research is a lot more important to one’s craft compared to artist research. Of course it is key to understand why an artist made a particular decision, but I feel that it isn’t needed to research an artist and then do what they did, as this isn’t intuitive to learning. I have always found that the best way to learn is to do, and possibly learn from your mistakes and actions.

#101

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sussex-nature-lover · 4 years

Text

Wednesday 17th June 2020

Country and Town

Well until I got this email yesterday I had absolutely No Idea - Sussex Day

Round-headed Rampion belongs to an extensive cosmopolitan family of plants known as Campanulaceae, the 'bellflowers.' The globular blue-purple flower-heads seem as if they'd be more at home in the sea, for they look like a cross between an 'over-armed' octopus and a colourful sea anemone. Each head may appear to be one flower, but is in fact a cluster of up to approximately thirty individual florets, though they're all packed closely together.

All Info taken from the Sussex Wildlife Trust.

Sussex Day was chosen back in 2007 to mark the feast day of St. Richard of Chichester, patron saint of the county. Five years prior, Sussex had already chosen a county flower, the rather uncommon Round-headed Rampion (Phyteuma orbiculare), now known widely as the 'Pride of Sussex.' It does indeed have intricate ties with Sussex, for it grows in the highest densities on the chalk grasslands for which the county is so famed. Unfortunately it won't be possible to celebrate the day by spotting a blooming Round-headed Rampion, for it's a little too early in the year. These herbaceous perennials thrive when the sun is at its peak, waiting until the warmth of mid-summer before unfurling their complex flowers.

For anyone who doesn’t already know, Sussex isn’t one County, it’s two - West and East. We live in East. It’s absolutely glorious, a designated Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty (AONB) with beautiful rolling countryside, equally beautiful coastline, history a plenty and all on a main train line between London and Hastings, so for us, we’re living the rural dream but within an hour of ‘The Big Smoke’

The garden looking very green and the chairs very empty

Hastings itself has the beach, its fishing trade, art gallery, museum, castle, country park, old town with the individual shops and restaurants and the old fernicular railway up and down the cliff face and that’s without mentioning its famous fish and chips. Inland, of course, is Battle and yes, famous for the scene of <fanfare> The Battle of Hastings Info Here

His and Hers Mugs from when OH used to commute

When we were relocating 20 years ago (in the midst of the petrol crisis no less) we had absolutely no idea where to start house searching. We were coming from right across the country (South Gloucestershire on the Welsh border) and had never visited Kent or Sussex before. My Other Half (term chosen to protect the identity of the innocent husband) was working extremely long hours and I was finding it incredibly hard to travel anywhere. Initially we decided to rent a house as our buyer was pushing hard for a moving date and it was on one of the trips out with a rental agent that we drove past the house we live in now. She pointed it out to me. It stayed in my memory but was way out of our search area and it was only after a series of unsuitable viewings to buy that I recalled ‘that house’ after OH, somewhat crossly (it was frustration) exclaimed ‘is this all you’ve got?!!?’

We knew nothing of the area and it was going to be a 40 minute drive to work, not to mention being somewhat remote for two young girls, however, the house ticked the boxes and there really hadn’t been anything else of interest. Later when OH had to commute to London for work the location turned out to be a god send with its direct train connection. I think he enjoyed that commute, especially the very early morning walk across London Bridge and the Summer scenes as the train took the strain through the countryside, especially the Lavender Fields following on from the Bluebell Woods.

In Lockdown it’s been all the more of a god send, with the space, seclusion and tranquility. Getting food shopping was a little bit tricky at times, but good neighbours helped us out and apart from missing family, it isn’t a hardship at all.

In different times we’ve still enjoyed being able to take an hour’s journey to go and see the sights. Last year we enjoyed a glorious Summer and went to the Tower of London twice, Kensington Palace, the Banqueting House and Hampton Court Palace - all included when you purchase a Royal Palace’s Membership.

Tower Bridge seen from the Tower grounds

Kensington Gardens seen from inside the Palace and the Palace from the Round Pond

About nature on the Serpentine

Banqueting House’s famous painted ceiling. This is the site of Charles’ I execution

The world famous Astrological Clock at Hampton Court Palace

On other days out we enjoying exploring Greenwich with the park,

Greenwich Park seen from The Queen’s House and the restored Armada Portrait of Queen Elizabeth I

The Queen’s House and all its other museums, visiting the Cutty Sark and walking underneath the Thames through the foot tunnel to Island Gardens - very well worth it as the view is amazing.

Do look on the Greenwich link as it has a further link to sights you can view from home.

It’s a mistake to think that you can only get close to and enjoy nature in the countryside, on a trip down the Thames we actually spotted a seal - we were only travelling between London Bridge and Covent Garden areas, so it was quite a way up. I can’t tell you how exciting that was. And when we got off the boat, there was a Bee on the pavement, struggling, so we picked it up and put it on a leaf (usually we’d make a sugar syrup at home, but that was the best we could do)

Grey Wagtail, Ecology Park, N Greenwich Peninsula and the funniest and most vocal young Heron I’ve ever seen (R Thames at Richmond)

And to end my trip down memory lane, I saw this on Twitter the other day and was captivated. Go to the link and click on Show This Thread. It’s Monopoly Board London in photos during lockdown. Brilliant.

https://twitter.com/danbarker/status/1272634582941171713

Outside Links in Bold Type are not affiliated to this Blog

#nature London lovewhereyoulive

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sometimesrosy · 7 years

Note

(1) You don't have to post this if you don't want to, I just don't know who to go to. I'm so anxious and depressed I can't even make myself leave the house. I need therapy but I live in a rural area. I can't drive. I dropped out of university because I was so depressed. I just don't know where to start. I can't go back to university bc I can't face anyone there..I want to a smaller college but I'm worried about money. I just don't know what to do first. Work or college. I feel stuck.

I’d say you might need to take a break but sometimes it helps to get back out there and start doing stuff that engages you with life again. I don’t know what is getting you stuck or how severe it is. Maybe taking one class or getting a job that is low stress and allows you to get out of your head. It isn’t always good to isolate yourself.

Exercise also helps, although I am the WORST with exercise so I don’t take my own advice. I KNOW it helps. Yoga or even just walking can help. Especially if you can get out into the air.

Make sure you are eating well and drinking lots of water. And getting sleep if you can. I know these sound trite, and it feels like “oh neurotypicals always say this,” but I’m not exactly neurotypical and have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole adult life. And I’ve done it without meds, even when I should have gotten them. And it is absolutely true that if you are struggling with mental illness, your body suffers. And if your body is suffering, that can make it worse. So TRY to take care of your body. Every step you take toward taking care of your body will help your mental health.

This is the thing about depression and anxiety. I don’t think there’s one answer to any of it. So you keep trying, you work on your breathing and staying present in the moment and grounding so the fears don’t take over. You make sure you shower regularly and change into real clothes. You develop healthy habits that help you live a better life. And even if it doesn’t go away right away, those healthy habits help you cope.

There are a few things I do when I’m feeling depressed or anxious.

I keep a journal. Make sure you’re not beating yourself up in your journal. Talk about things on your mind, but don’t dwell on what’s wrong with you or how horrible things are. Look for ways out. Think about fun things. Remind yourself who you are and your accomplishments, write your dreams, or about stories you want to tell. Just talk to yourself and know you can say whatever you want.

Keep a To Do lit. It really helps me to write down things I want to accomplish. When I’m really bad, those things might be “feed kids dinner. read a book. take a shower.” When I’m feeling better, it might be tasks towards a larger goal. Make sure there aren’t too many things on that list and they are all small enough goals that you don’t have to take multiple steps to finish them. If you do, make each one of those steps a goal instead. And do not expect to get through them all.

Keep a Did Done list. I simply write down the things I did that day. Whether it was on my to do list or not. Because it helps me to notice that I am accomplishing things even when I didn’t know. Doing laundry, calling someone, grocery shopping, dealing with paper work. Whatever came up.

Keep a running list of things that make you happy. Whether big or small. Summer. Coffee. This favorite song. That wonderful person. This tv show. Bellarke. It might seem corny, but it isn’t. What happens is your brain starts getting trained to notice good things, things that make you happy, things that are positive. And this starts influencing the way you see the world. And yourself. Some people do gratitude journals and that’s the same idea.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m big on journals.

Start a photo journal. Take a photo every day or multiple photos. Spend time focusing on things outside of yourself. Making your eye look for worthy subject, beauty, meaning… this also makes your brain start thinking of positive things. Share them or save them.

Sing. Turn on some music and sing. Also Dance. Same idea. It makes good things happen in your brain chemistry.

Call someone you love who supports you and talk to them.

Paint. Or collage. Whatever. Get your feelings out on canvas or paper. Make a mess or make intricate designs. Make art. Create something it feels good and depending on what you’re making, can be meditative or expressive.

okay so I have a motif. write. think. create. see. make art. But also here’s another one that has always been something i don’t like doing that often but can act as a catalyst when I do.

Cry. Just let it all out. Big tears. Ugly ones. Sob. I like to be alone and private when I do this so I can cry without feeling self conscious. For hours if I need to. Next morning, I wake up. OMG. I feel different.

If you can get to a therapist or doctor. Do. If you can’t, don’t think you are doomed. This is an interlude. This to shall pass. Indulge it a little. Go inward. Let yourself feel. Move on.

#rosy answers #self care #mental heath #journaling #depression #anxiety #it turns out i have been working on these tactics for almost 30 years #fun with depression

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travellingmonk · 5 years

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Shin Kon Hen / Early Dusk Volume Book 4 - Chapter 2 - A Flash of Brilliance

- > Chapter 2 - A Flash of Brilliance < -

Book title : Book 4 * Samurai Troopers * Shin Kon Hen (Early Dusk Volume) Character designs by Enzan Norio Story by Ushyuu Miki

(Note from the translator : The following section talks about the capital city, how great it is, how far it extends, and how safe the people who live there feel. aka, it's big, diverse, pretty, well-decorated, and, in general, a nice place to be. However, a section of it is incomplete because this use to be a swampy area. In addition to that, in that area, bad guys live there, so it's not a safe location. It does get a teensy bit rambly, so if you want to skip past that, just scroll down until you see the * * * * * and proceed reading. However, if you are interested and want to read these details for yourself, continue reading from here.)

Heian-kyou was a city that, although there were lots of plans before, and during, it's building phase, those plans withered away. It was originally a diverse place full of of brilliance. A nice place to keep a watchful eye on, like a person watching a very interesting board game. The city of Kyoto was a rational move to turn into a capital which used a mountain basin to its advantage. This place was fantastic. When a person entered the city of Heian-kyou the construction and design was similar to that of a fish. At the very end of it, the city would taper off into the tail end, just like the back fin. From there the metropolis region extended onwards from both sides. The plan was that it was be built as follows. You would enter through a magnificent red gate. There you would see a long, narrow main street which extended down into the capital city. The capital city was divided into two. Sakyou and Ukyou. In Ukyou, there were been weeping willow trees that were along the sides of the road and were only along the main street. In Sakyou, there were special temples called 'Nishidera'. They are all about feeling pride about the pledge the people keep and this was a special place for the arrival of high ranking people. Basically, if you were one of the noble people, or were really rich, this was going to be your first stop. Meanwhile, the administration section, called Setoki, is located in the center of the main street. Lots of people live in the capital city, including aristrocrats. There's also a residential street on the north side. That's in the back, across from the four way main street. However, all of this beauty is a little bit deceiving with its symmetrical beauty. There are a lot of damp, swampy places in Ukyou. This is the reason why the completion of the city couldn't be finished and why it was left abandoned.

* * * * *

Although this has had to endure public attention, there was no way you could miss the stark contrast between the brilliant city and the untamed wilds of the swampy area, most people had simply learned to live with the incomplete places. Another disadvantage of this untouched area is that these sections of wet land are very dangerious, and that air of danger hangs around, despite all of the prosperity that was around the people. Inside this capital city, there was a cry for war. These upset people, who heard of lavish gifts that were given to the capital city and were upset that they weren't getting a piece of that action, secretly gathered together. In a small corner of Tokyo, these people became known as Magai and were little more than a den of theives. At night, no matter how dark it was, there in Heian-kyou, there was no where that remained in darkness. Although you couldn't usually spot the items creating light or where, exactally, they were, they created a warm glow of illumination, keeping any darkness at bay. There's an old saying that goes something along the lines of 'once a hawk falls out of the sky and dies, this is a sign of evil being present in the area'. This is mentioned here because a monster, of sorts, exists in this area. The darkness fills people with evil words and horrible actions. This is a sign that the era of peace is coming to an end.

Here in the capital, there's a family known for and quite proud of their kimono designs. Not that they're lacking in beauty by any means, but, even in these modern times, they're still able to make original designs that dazzle and awe people. Which is a pretty big deal. Alongside that, there are plenty of aristocrats living here, so the art of military affairs is pretty well nonexistent. Because of this, and because of the age they live in, its understandable that they feel scared. They can't fight against the encroaching evil threatening their way of life. The people watch with worry as fierce warriors who live in the rural areas aim their anger and aggression at the capital city. Because the fear of death has settled into their minds, its not unusual to see them wandering around with a rug, rich with intricate designs and made with thickly woven fibers, tucked under one of their arms. Its only by some miracle that the people have managed to survive. In all of this chaos, its not unusual for people to end up being poor. Within a group of fierce warriors there's a faction that was formed rather recently. They're called the Seki group. This violent group is looking for the warrior that serve Yakushi (and Yakushi herself who serves the retired emperor Tooru). A young warrior by the name of Tomoaki Amo sits on a nearby mountain, giving him quite a nice bird's eye view of the city. He watches the people very carefully. He left the state of Wakasa a short while ago and went into the capital city for a pleasure trip. Wakasa isn't very far from this new capital so the trip wasn't long or exhausting to make. The violent warriors, jealous of and angry at the people living in the city, know that there's no secret design laid out for them to succeed, for them to live well in the capital city. However, in this capital city, Tooru, who is at the center of any and all administration related duties, had been in charge of building this magnificent city. To hear that he was nearby was enough to make a person's heart race with excitement. The countryside was filled with beautiful, youthful people, and, with him being a young man, made it easy to blend in. No one would ever suspect Tomoaki of being anything other than just another peaceful young man. At one time, he, along with many other people, lived in a place called Hirasaki. It's a very small place and, in order to reach the nearest village or settlement of people, it was a tough climb through some rugged terrain. Then again, even when one did manage to get to another village, the village was small and there weren't many people living there. However, despite there being so little signs of civilization out there, such as shrines made with gold and silver like the capital city would have, there's no map of this valley. No way to know where one is going or where they can find anything. It certainly didn't make for easy living. Tomoaki looked down at the city. This particular perch gave him a vantage point that made him feel like he could command the wind itself that passed through the land. He was certain that if he tried, he could even get a view of the sea in his home village. He'd always thought this way about this one particular spot. It was somewhere any person could stand and feel incredibly powerful. Far below him in the city, a young man is walking around Suzaku-oji, a boulevard in the old streets of Kyoto. As he makes his way through the crowds of people he hears a rumor floating about. There's talk that people have succeeded in overrunning the mountain-filled state of Yamashiro. Not an easy undertaking for anyone. Yamashiro is a nice enough place to visit, however, it wasn't wise to stay longer than a night or two in a temple there. No one really wanted undue attention in such an area. It didn't help matters any that there weren't any guides or teachers at all in these areas to educate the people on anything. Or to act as a warning to anyone passing through of the dangers present in any places. Everyone was self-taught and learned whatever they knew all on their own. Living this way was fine enough if you were a person who enjoyed solving puzzles and and analyzing various situations. If you weren't, this could cause problems and accidents. However, this was simply how life was. The only records being kept of anything at all was the government keeping track of the money flow. As Tomoaki looks around, taking his time to watch the people below for signs of anything interesting, he noticed that a good bunch of the people are old. They were as various as the different aspects of the city itself. Having been self-taught and doing things on their own, most not having a proper enough mindset to figure out puzzles an the like, trying to live or make a living was difficult. Especially trying to navigate the complexities of living in the capital city and the politics that were always happening. Many times they'd end up becoming a monk or a nun, simply because it was a much easier, and less thought-involved way to live. Then again, on the other side of things, it's not like going into a religious faction made things any easier. There were plenty of politics going on there, too, and people making a profit from the namesake of deities. This is why the emperor was going to separate religion from politics. It was too easy for corrupt people to take advantage of others, saying 'we'll say this prayer on your behalf to the gods' or 'we'll say this magical spell that will cure your ailments' only if they get money out of it. This was only hurting more people than it helped. He was trying to get all of this sorted out before Shou Takashi of Tokyo came to take over Tooru's admistrative position. Who even know how well-informed or honest that Takashi would even be in regards to his matter. Best to get this all done and sorted before that change happened. Tomoaki crossed both arms over his chest as a gentle breeze blew through the area. It's not like any of this information was news to him. To be honest, it's actually what he was expecting to find. He proceeded to make his way down the mountain and closer to the city. It didn't take long before he began to be within earshot of people talking about different things. Yakushi was being mentioned. The sort of person she was, how pretty and elegant she was. How she had gained favor with the emperor, etc. He could hear someone else commenting about how a rich man might act and be seen as whimsical, but in a place like this, with everything that was happening, it was easy for his heart to be full of worry. The peace of this land was being eroded away and it seemed like nothing was going to stop that. Tomoaki quietly approached the backside of a building and peered around a corner. His ears keen to listen in on more conversations. The more he could learn about what was going on, the more prepared he could be. "If its to protect her personal belongings, isn't Toneri and other guards enough to handle the job? I mean, they ARE send from the emperor himself to do that." "Sure, if this was someplace like Tokyo, but it's not..." the person's words falling silent caught Tomoaki's curiousity. He could see several people looking across the way at someone. The young man stood up straight, extending his neck and standing on his toes for a better look. He gasped at what he was able to see. A big, muscular soldier came riding down the road on an impressive black horse, as dark as the night sky itself. He was bigger than anyone the young man had ever seen in his life, and was extremely intimidating to behold. It's surprising to see a horse able to so easily accomidate the man, but it's almost like they fit one another quite well and that the man's size and weight didn't bother the horse at all. As if this sight itself wasn't something else to see, Tomoaki noticed the almost blood red color of the horse's reins, which seemed to match the color of the horse's eyes. It was almost painful simply to look at. Never in his life had he ever seen such a beast, and a part of him really hoped he wouldn't have to ever again. A chill raced down his spine at that moment. As he sank back to standing normally, he could still see the large figure towering above everyone else as he made his way past. He had the sort of air to him that would make a soldier concerned that there were more people like him charging into the city ready to do who even knows what horrible things. It certainly wasn't a sight that allowed people to feel calm and happy. Doing his best to stay in the shadows of the alleyway between the buildings, Tomoaki tried to get closer to see if anyone knew why this huge stranger was here. Maybe he was a courrier to some neighboring country or had an important message to deliver. "Hes so scary to look at. Is he even human?" one man asked to another. "From the look of him, he's definately a person who became a soldier of the capital city. Did you know," said the other man, leaning in close and speaking quietly, "it's said that he eradicates any sort of magic." "Really?!" the first man gasped. "If it is this gentleman is like that, then any man would be wise to be afraid of using magic at all and keep a low profile the entire time he's here." "Do you know anything else about him?" "Well," the two men were facing one another, completely absorbed into their hushed gossip, allowing Tomoaki the perfect opportunity to effortlessly listen in and not be noticed. "I don't know his name, but he's referred to as a military man that Yakushi has embraced and keeps close at her side." He couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable he felt, his gaze drawn back to the horse. It had come to a stop in front of a building across the street. For as big, powerful, and fear-instilling as it was, the horse seemed to stand practally unnoticed by other people in the immediate area. Like a needle hidden among a pile of rice. The big man got down from the horse, was greeted by Yakushi, and proceeded to cross the street with her. Tomoaki made his way from where he'd been hiding and entered out onto the somewhat busy and bustling street, managing to blend in with the crowd of other people who were out and about for the day. Unlike the other people who were in the city that loved to talk about anything and everything, Tomoaki was silent. He heard others muttering something about 'it would come soon'. 'It' what? A memory flashed through the young man's mind at that moment. 'You have to follow where ever he goes. . . unfortunately, it may end up being that this man's future will remain unknown. . . ' Not so far away, one young warrior held steadily onto a bow and several bows. In that moment, the gates of Yakushi's mansion were struck.

Some years earlier, when Kaosu was only a 10 year old kid, he could remember that there was a deep divide between the moutain's forest. His father was a woodcutter. Going into a mountain's dense forest was an everyday thing for him. The older man, even from when he himself was a little kid, had done the same thing. The area has a great variety of different kinds of trees, most of which always sold quite well since people require the wood for warmth in cooler months, and cooking the rest of the time. He knew the area very well because of it, but, having the forest and moutains divided that deeply was something that had never happened before. With such a deep divide and getting so cleared out, it was bound to end up as a clear mountain path for anyone who lived there or who passed through the area. Sometimes this would include wild animals, too, taking advantage of the cleared terrain. Although this bothered the boy, he knew full well that his father didn't cut down trees to become a murderer of little animals or destroy the land. There was a bigger reason for why he did this, and this was the first day that Kaosu really showed that he was different than everyone else around. For quite a while now, Kaosu had been showing more and more interest in the world around him, as well as a knowledge about things that most full grown adults didn't possess. Sure it'd been clear that Kaosu was different, right from the first day he was born, but it only became more pronounced the older he got. Today, his father had invited him out on a walk into the forest. The boy was glad to go and enjoyed the surroundings but after almost half a day of walking through the woods and quite a great distance away from his home, he didn't understand where his father was taking him. The man eventually came to a stop at what seemed like a thick wall of foilage. "Ah, here it is," he muttered with a smile. He knelt down and pushed aside a bit of the greenery to reveal the small entrance to an overgrown pathway. If one didn't know exactally what they were looking for, this area could easily have blended in with anywhere else. No one would've ever imagined to think that a pathway was here leading to . . . who even knew where. He placed a hand to the side of his mouth and made a 'hoo' sound, similar to that of an owl. Kaosu watched in silence, puzzled but intrigued by his father's behavior. After a moment, a voice responded with a similar sounding 'hoo' followed by the sound of rustling plants. Someone was on the other side pushing away the plants. Sure enough, after a few seconds, sunlight poured in from the other side to reveal a short, older man with greying hair standing there. It was in that moment that Kaosu realized that everything had suddenly fallen quiet. The sound of the wind had died down, no chirping birds to be heard. It was strange, and almost felt as though time itself had come to a stop. "Follow me," his father said, then led the way through the opening in the foilage, holding the plants aside as Kaosu did as he was told. Soon enough they were through to the other side and standing up. "Onjiyou, it's good to see you," greeted the old man as Kaosu's father respectfully bowed to him. "It's good to see you, too," the old man said in return with a respectful nod of his head. "I see you've brought your son with you this time." Kaosu's father nodded, stroking his son's head for a moment as he looked down at him "I have. Kaosu, the time has come to you to live here for a while. They'll teach you about many things that others cannot." He knelt down so he and his son were at eye level. "Learn well while you're here. It will all be important for you later on when you're older and out in this world on your own." "I will," the boy said. Kaosu's father smiled at him, then rose to his feet and proceeded to leave. Although the boy didn't entirely understand what was happening, he trusted his father. If his father trusted this old man, then he would, too. It's not like he didn't already have a feeling deep inside of him that he was different than everyone else, and was told many times over the years that he's important for this world. This was simply the first step into becoming the person this world would need. He knew he wouldn't see his father again for a long time, his family, or his home village, but, while here, he'd strive to do his best. For as wise as he was, he was still just a 10 year old kid and he'd miss the only life he'd ever known up until now. Kaosu drew in a deep breath and looked up at the grey haired older man. "Don't worry, my boy," he said reassuringly, "you'll get to see your village and family again, soon. For now, let's get you settled in. We've been waiting for you to be ready to come here for quite a long time. It's nice to finally meet you. Welcome to the village of Kaosu" "Thank you. It's good to meet you, too." Just that short of an exchange seemed like it lifted a bit of weight off of the boy's shoulders. It's not like him being here would be a permanent thing, or that he'd become an outcast. Far from it. "Come with me," he said, and began walking. Kaosu quietly walked alongside Onjiyou, taking in his new surroundings. Despite just having been in the depths of the forest, this area had open places with comfortable looking houses. Trees grew all around in such a way that the area felt in balance and harmony. They weren't too clustered together, nor were they greatly spaced apart. "From now on, you'll be living here with us," he indicated to the few visible people who were currently out and about at the moment. A few walking and talking side by side, a few others tending to their own little gardens. "There will be many things you'll need to study and learn about. I'll be your teacher from here on out, even if I am all old and wrinkly," he said, his tone warm and friendly. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. It's what I'm here for, after all." Kaosu nodded his head, staying quiet for a moment longer before looking up at Onjiyou. "I have something to ask you. Kaosu is the name of this village. . .but, that's my name, too. Isn't it kinda strange?" "My, now, that's a curious sort of question to be asking this old man. Well, Kaosu isn't so much an individual person's name. I mean, it IS, but, it's also not." He exhaled before continuing, stopping his walking tour to look directly at the black haired, brown eyed boy. "This is a very special place. To put it simply, all of the people here, myself included, belong to the clan of Kaosu. This village? This village is the village of Kaosu. However, "Kaosu" is also," he gently poked the boy's chest, "you. Now, you see, a very long time ago, in the ancient times, an entire famliy took on the responsibility to help this world. To quietly guide the people to be better, nicer, kinder. Also, to help protect them from bad feelings and evil actions. The people who were currently alive, as well as the people who were yet to be born. This role of ours hasn't changed." A gentle, warm breeze blew through the area, rustling the leaves of the trees. "As for your name, well, there was a leader, a man, a very long time ago who was born under the sign of a miracle. As he grew older, it was more knowledgeable, insightful, and good-hearted than everyone else. He's the one who saw everything that was happening and chose to help the people. It's his family that we are a part of and his name that we carry. On the very day you were born, there was a miracle that happened. That's how we knew you were special. That is why your name, his name, the name of this clan and this village, are all the same. You are Kaosu." "Wow," breathed out Kaosu. "To add onto that, there's an old legend that says when a child is born and a miracle happens, this child will be Kaosu." No one had ever told him all of this before, and, understandably so, it was quite surprising to hear about. And yet, at he same time as he was surprised and in awe by this information, it felt 'right'. As if some part of him that had been missing had finally come to light. Things made sense. The old man was amused, watching this kid's reaction. There was nothing quite like seeing that light of 'It makes sense now!!' go off in someone else's eyes. Even at such a young age, it was remarkable to see how fast Kaosu seemed to understand his namesake. It was a pretty big topic to mentally grasp, even for an adult, but for a kid? Well, it's not like this was any ordinary child. This was Kaosu. THEE Kaosu. In this one moment, Onjiyou truly felt as though this boy could be entrusted with everything he knew and be able to handle the weight of all that knowledge. After showing Kaosu to his own little hut, a simple yet comfortable bed already waiting for him, the old man said that Kaosu could take it easy the rest of the day. Wander around, look at the village, greet the other people here. They would begin his lessons tomorrow. As the afternoon passed to night, the stars out and twinkling in the dark sky, Onjiyou looked upwards. An era of "magic" was about to begin and this would be a completely new experience for everyone. It was up to every individual person to decide just how they were going to get through it. This would take many years but, when compared to Kaosu, this would all seem like an extremely short period of time. Then again, this is the moment the old man had been waiting for his entire life. When the next morning came about, after having some breakfast, Onjiyou and Kaosu headed out to a nearby area. This would be their first day together as student and teacher, where he'd tell Kaosu to do something, and he'd execute whatever it was without question. After all, there was only so much he could explain. Sooner or later, life experiences would be needed in order to experience, learn from, and grow because of. This was only day 1. "Today we begin your lessons, Kaosu." He'd led the way through a bit of forested area to a cliff. They stood upon the edge of a sheer verticle rock wall that, far below, held flowing water in the middle of a valley. The boy carefully peered over the edge to the glistening, clear water below. "The area of water below is called Tanikawa. What you must do is get water from there." The brown eyed boy looked curiously back at the old man. They were high up on a cliff. The area below showed no signs of easy access to anywhere that water flowed. How in the world was he suppose to get water from there? There were no paths or walkways, the cliff face looked too smooth to get any hand or foot holds, and they hadn't even brought a container of any sort along with for him to retrieve the water with. The old man smirked in a playful sort of way, knowing full well what was going through the boy's head at the moment. "Yes, I'm fully aware of the fact that there's no direct way to get that water and we didn't bring any tools to get it. I will tell you this in order to help you." He shrugged slightly, in a nonchalant sort of way. "As long as you get water from Tanigawa, then any way you do it is fine. Good luck," he said with a smile, then turned and began walking away. "I know you'll figure it out!" Kaosu's brow furrowed, watching the old man walk away. That makes two people who'd up and left him behind in the span of only 24 hours. Not even that long, in fact. He sighed as the old man walked back into the forest and out of view. He stood closer to the edge, looking down again and giving careful attention to the area. Clearly there had to be some way of getting that water. Should he try climbing down the rock face? He gave himself plenty of time to really look for any possible hand holds to use, but there simply weren't any to be taken advantage of. Maybe there was some way to climb down into the valley itself and get to the water that way? No... that wouldn't work either. The place was more like a huge crevasse, rather than some lush, green, welcoming valley anyone could easily walk through. How about if he tried scooping up the water by tying a long a long rope around something. . .? The trees around him had fairly good sized leaves and nuts on the branches. Yeah... that'd work. However... he didn't actually have a rope to use. Then again, a few vines tied together could make a useable rope for this. After getting the largest nut he could and hollowing it out, grabbing several vines and tying them together then around the nut, he had a perfectly good scoop. Sitting at the edge of the cliff, he proceeded to lower the creation down, but one thing became quickly apparent. It was barely noticed this high up, but the further down one went towards that water, the harder the wind was blowing. The scoop was soon completely unstable. Lifting it back up, he placed a stone inside of it to keep the scoop weighted down, but that barely seemed to change the results. Even if the rope was more than long enough to reach, and a heavy enough stone inside of that tree nut, that strong, consistent wind pretty well guaranteed nothing would get down there Even if, by some miracle, he actually managed to get that nut down into the water, the wind would whip it around the moment it began its ascent and dump out every last drop. Frustrated, Kaosu sat quietly on the edge of the cliff, arms crossed over his chest and his face showing he was deep in thought. There HAD to be a way to get some of that water. One day passed by, then another, then another after that. Each day Kaosu went out to that cliff and wracked his brain trying to figure out how to get some of Tanigawa's water. Every evening he came back, got something to eat, slept, then went back out the next morning. Several days had gone by at this point and he'd noticed that there was always a strong wind blowing up from the bottom of the valley. An updraft. If a kite was there, it would always be in flight and never come down. Sometimes, as he'd noticed, there were clouds that rose from the valley below to become tiny drops of moisture. Those, in turn, formed clouds that would release rain. It was on one afternoon that it was sprinkling, Kaosu having taken shelter under the thick growth of leaves from a tree, that he felt lonesome. He was out here, all day long, no one to talk to or interact with. It was only him and this challenge. He sighed, resting his head back against the tree trunk when the old man's words echoed in his mind. 'As long as you get water from Tanigawa, then any way you do it is fine.' That didn't seem like it helped him at all. There was no way to even get at the water. He turned his gaze upward, watching as water droplets lazily dripped off of the leaves. "As long as you get water from Tanigawa," he muttered, suddenly realizing that the whole water rising as a cloud, then raining, was still Tanigawa's water, "then any way you do it is fine." He smiled and felt invigorated. That's it! That was the answer! He got a bowl from the village then hurried back out to that same spot, letting the sprinkling water fall into the wooden bowl. When it felt enough had been gathered, he went straight for the old man to show him. Onjiyou smiled and nodded his head once in approval. Took the kid a bit longer than he'd been expecting, but he eventually figured it out. Sometimes, the solution to a problem isn't a direct approach or doing all of the work himself to get results. Observation and patience were important. The next lesson didn't sound overly difficult. The old man, who was sitting in front of a bonfire, explained it simply. Go connect a band to the top of a tree. The top of a tree that just happens to look like the peak of a mountain. The tree will be found somewhere on the mountain that's covered with lots of trees. As Kaosu headed for the mountain with trees, he noticed someone disappear into the shadows of the trees nearby. Sure, okay, that was odd, but there honestly didn't seem to be any signs of danger around here. If there was anything dangerous, certainly Onjiyou would've warned him about it. The boy flinched at the unexpected and loud whistle the old man made. Kaosu paused, about to look back at him when what sounded like many roars cut through the air in response to the whistle. All coming from the top of the mountain. Were those tree spirits or something calling back!? The boy was about to ask Onjiyou what that was about, but when he turned to look, the old man was already standing up and walking into the forest. The exact moment he was out of sight, it started raining. Hard. The downpour so heavy it made being able to see more than a few short feet ahead almost impossible. Could he have run back the way he'd came and return to the village until this rain passed? Yes, but there's one problem. It was obvious that this wasn't some freak of nature rain storm. Somehow Onjiyou had made this happen. Or, more specifically, made it happen to challenge Kaosu. As the slope of the moutain started running with water, almost enough to make the boy slip with each step, the best thing he could do was find shelter and figure out this latest challenge. He found a nearby cave and rushed inside, glad to be out of that drenching downpour. His relief was short-lived. Barely more than a few steps into the dark, cool, dry cave the floor suddenly gave way beneath his feet. The was no warning, no sounds of crackling stone or sifting soil. One minute he was on solid ground, the next, he'd found himself falling. It had happened so suddenly that he didn't even have the time to cry out. The next thing he was aware of, Kaosu groaned as he returned to consciousness, laying stomach down on a cold, stone floor. As he slowly pushed himself to sit up, coughing a few times in the process, he wasn't sure if a few seconds had passed, minutes, or hours. Sitting up and taking a few deep, slow breaths, ignoring the throbbing and pain he felt running through his body, he took his time looking around himself. His brown eyes had adjusted to the dim light well enough, but it's not like there was really anything to see. Way up at the top of the hole he could barely make out sunlight. The old man had probably stopped the rain and now everything was calm and brilliantly sunny once more. He could hear water slowly dripping somewhere in the hole with him. A little bit of the rain from earlier had probably managed to find its way into the cave and drop down, little by little, into this hole. From what little he could make out of the hole he was in, the walls didn't have anything jutting out. Nothing for him to use as any sort of hand hold. No way to climb out. Only one way in, one way out. Looking across the floor, he was able to see a few animal bones scattered about. Seems like he wasn't the only one who have lost his way and found themself at he bottom of this pit. He took time to check over his body, seeing what places hurt, what places didn't, if he was bleeding or not. As far as he could tell he was okay. Sore in quite a few places, but, no bones sticking out from his skin, no trails of blood able to be felt. No doubt he had a few cracked bones, but nothing he wouldn't live through. Gathering himself mentally, he stood up, then proceeded to run his hands across the walls as far up as he could reach. He hadn't been able to see anything specific, but had managed to grab onto a few slightly sticking out rocks from the wall. This ended up being a fruitless endeavour since he barely got more than a foot or two higher and felt nothing else he could grab onto. He was quite stuck down here with no way out. This was it? Was he going to suffer the same fate as these animals? No. He had to escape. He HAD to escape. But... He looked upward at that overhead hole again. He had to escape. With a tired sigh, he laid his back flat against the wall, still looking upward. His latest lesson / challenge was to go find a tree on a moutain. He hadn't thought of bringing any tools along with. Just go, find tree, put band on tree top, and done. It was a straight shot from that bonfire to the top of the mountain, even with all of the trees in the way. How could he have expected any of this to happen? He mulled over the possible solutions. Climbing the walls was clearly out of the question. Nothing to grab onto. There were animal bones and loose rocks down here but, that was no where near enough to help him get even a quarter of the way up to that opening in the ceiling. What else could he do? There wasn't anything in here he could use and the walls were solid. He couldn't even use anything down here to strike the walls with to make holes he could use to climb out with. Sliding against the wall, he sat down in a sore, defeated lump. Hours must've passed. The faint sunlight that was at the top of the hole had given way to darkness. There was no light at all. He could've called out to the old man, to any of the villagers and hoped they were close by enough to hear his voice but. . . it was useless at night. When daylight poured into the cave again, from what little Kaosu could even see, that is, he cried out for help. The only answer he got was his own echoes. The day passed into night again and he was still all alone at the bottom of this hole. This is where he went from feeling sad and alone to feeling angry at being stuck. He had to drink yesterday's rain water, which had accumulated into a small puddle. By now he welcomed the tiny fragment of sunlight that actually managed to be seen at the top of the hole. Not about to give up, he tried again at the walls for anything he could use, grab onto, take advantage of. Unfortunately, the same conclusion as before greeted him. He huffed and panted after his latest try, forehead resting flat against the rock wall. Tears stung his eyes. If he really was this Kaosu of legend, if he really was this miracle child who's suppose to grow up and help save the world, then shouldn't he have gotten out of this stupid hole by now? If he was so important, wouldn't the villagers have mounted a search for him? He groaned, half in frustration, half in pain from his numerous bruises, scratches, and whatever cracked bones he now had. Night fell again, leaving the boy all alone, plunged into pure darkness and without any way out. However, unlike the other nights, this one was different. Several people had made their way to the cave and stood at the edge of the hole. By some form of magic, they were able to see into the darkness to see Kaosu. One of them whispered. "Can I help him now? If this keeps up, he's going to die down there." Another one replied in as much of a whispered tone. It was Onjiyou. "No. Let's wait a bit longer. I'm certain he'll figure this out." A different person spoke up, they all doing their best to speak only in whispers. The last thing they wanted was to ruin this lesson or give him false hope. "We can't just stand by and watch this go on. There's talk that an Oni is already in the capital city. The great evil that the old legend warned us about is already starting to show. We can't let Kaosu die. If he does, then there will be no way to save this world from the dark era." "I know, I know. Let's try and have some faith in the boy. He IS Kaosu, after all. One more day. If he hasn't figured it out by then..." he trailed off. He really didn't want to step in. This was crucial. Kaosu HAD to figure this out by himself. Otherwise it'd be like a parent picking up a child and carrying them everywhere, instead of letting the child learn to walk on their own. Three days and three nights had passed by now. What little water remained at the bottom of the pit had long since been gone. Kaosu sat on the floor, legs spread out, arms resting at his sides, and looking like he was some child's abandoned toy left propped up against the wall. The boy was hungry, exhausted, sore, and just wanted out. He'd reached his limit. He looked upward to see that same tiny amount of sunlight at the top of the pit. 3 days. 3 days had come. He knew that once that light was done, he'd be dead. A human could survive for only so long under such conditions. For a little kid, having survived even this long was probably a miracle in and of itself. Or maybe a curse? Being stuck down here in the pure, unforgiving, cold darkness of this place certainly didn't seem like a nice place to be alive in. He closed his eyes. Despite how he felt, there was a weird sense of peace about this moment. He'd felt angry, abandoned, alone, forgotten. . . and yet, somehow, all of that had fallen away to this moment. It was in this moment of quiteness that something Onjiyou had said earlier came to mind. "In this big, natural world, something like the power of an ordinary human being seems insignificant. Me, a regular human being, can't go against the natural time span or abilities of my life. If I were to try, I'd become corrupted and no longer be a human. However, if you possess a natural ability to do something, and make use of it, you would not be corrupted. Besides, you ARE Kaosu, after all. You're not like the rest of us." It was a rather peculiar thing to mention. There was no lead up to it, nothing he'd asked or mentioned would've sparked such an out-of-place comment. So . . . why did he say it? Everything Kaosu had seen of the man up til now had taught him one thing. That old man never acted, talked, or instructed without there being a good reason behind it. His mind wandered a bit, thinking about the ambient light shining in from the opening at the top of this pit, as well as the darkness in this place he was stuck in. The darkness in this hole would never meet the outside world, and, yet, darkness is still here. It's always supporting the light. The radiance of light exists because the darkness is dark. Kaosu allowed his mind to drift, letting all the feelings, aches, and pains of his body melt away until it was like they no longer existed. Maybe in this dark place, he wondered, his body might disappear into the darkness, never to be seen again. That's when something new happened. There, in the darkness, behind his closed eyes, he could see shining stars. As if he were floating in the air and no longer a part of anything. He opened his eyes, only to realize they were already open. He bilnked and realized that, in fact, he WAS floating. High in the sky. Looking around, everywhere he could see a galaxy that was made of seven different colors. It was beautiful beyond measure and like nothing the night sky on Earth could ever hope to display. "Wow," he breathed out in awe. He looked down at his feet and, instead of any ground, there was light. It was small and weak, so tiny in comparison to all of the darkness around it, but it was there. He focused on that tiny little bit of light and watched as the darkness gave way. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself floating through that light, through what seemed light softly illuminated clouds. He looked upward and, among the beautiful, multicolored galaxy, he could see a rip. A black crack. He didn't entirely understand what he was seeing, but one feeling was clear as he looked at it. He felt disturbed and upset. Whatever that black crack was, it was very wrong. Very bad. He pulled his gaze away from the darkness to look down only to be immediately struck with something burning an intense red. The boy found himself standing on a rock and watching as the ground was scorched with boiling magma. This was a fierce sort of heat, and nothing he knew could be compared to it. Laid out in front of him, the rocks were glowing red and flames were occassionally flaring up from the magma as it came into contact with new things. He silently watched the magma move, covering the ground. Like some sort of animal, this glowing, firey thing proceeded onwards. The ground, the plants, the forest, villages, people... nothing was spared. Everything was swallowed up by fire. When baring witness to the immense power of nature like this, one can only bow to its incredible strength. No matter how a person lives their life, we can't forget that we're nothing more than living things and that the raw, unbridled power of nature itself is something we are powerless against. Watching all of this, being exposed to the searing heat, Kaosu's throat felt dry and he felt hot. Too hot. Almost to the point it hurt. "I want water," he muttered without thinking. "Just a bit of water..." His desire, his deep-seated want for refreshing, cool water was so strong that, in an instant, he splashed down into cool water like a rock dropped into a lake from above. He was momentarily taken away by the difference and focused only on how refreshing and cool the water felt. It had embraced every last centimeter of his body, making him feel invigorated. Kaosu opened his eyes and realized he was in the water. Deep under the water somewhere. He wasn't struggling to breathe or desperate to swim up to the surface. He could breathe as easily as if he were still on land. He chuckled with a smile, looking around himself as a small school of fish took their time swimming past him. Maybe they didn't see him, or didn't see him as a threat. There was nothing to indicate that they saw him as a threat at all. What in the world was this place? It seemed so vastly different than the world of heat, magma, and fire he'd just been in. The water was refreshing, cool, and wonderfully blue. This was the mother of the sea. The place that all living creatures came from and that produces life on the waves for everything living in the water and out of it. The waves. . . Just that fast, he found himself standing on top of the water itself. Waves came and went. He couldn't help but feel like the repetition of the waves was like the breath of some living thing. He lifted his gaze and saw the open ocean in every direction. It's crystalline blue depths stretched from horizon to horizon. "Wow," he breathed out. He'd never been outside of the forest he'd been born and raised in. He'd heard about the ocean from stories, but to see it, to feel it like this was beyond what he could describe. As he stood there, quietly watching it all, this exposure expanded what he knew of the world. It was so much bigger than he could've imagined. And, to think, everyone is only allowed to play for a little while in the hands of this huge, expansive, magnificent world. The sun was shining down onto the ocean, making the top of the water seem like it was glittering and amazing. Kaosu figured that if a person stands in the light like this, with the sun shing down onto them, that they'll be illuminated in the exact same way. That, on some level, they'll be a shining, glittering, wonderous sort of thing. People, animals, rocks, trees, even the dirt itself. Everything shining with the sun's radiance. It seemed like, no matter what of kind of history the people create, things on this eternal stage are the exact same. On that same note, as long as this stage exists, life and people can make history. The sound of crashing waves and the sparkling of the light seemed to increase to the point it was uncomfortable. He narrowed his eyes, raising a hand to his eyes as a shield from the light. Even like this, everything still seemed to shine with brilliance. In that moment, it's as if someone had increased the light. As the entire world seemed to change into nothing more than light made of pure white, he having to close his eyes against it, just that fast, everything was darker, cooler. The sound of wind through the leaves of trees and birds faintly chirping somewhere nearby could be heard. Kaosu blinked open his eyes and, to his amazement, found himseld standing in the middle of a forest. No. Not just any forest. He knew this place. Looking around, he recognized a treeline and smiled. He had returned. He was back in the forest at almost the exact spot he'd begun at. Before Onjiyou had whistled and made that rain furiously pour down. He stood up straight and paused. Was this a dream come true? He looked down at the ground and tapped his sandalled foot against it. It felt real and very solid. That's when he looked down at himself. He wasn't covered in scratches or bruises. Nothing hurt. But. . . he'd gone into that cave. He fell through the floor. He could remember the sting of his injuries, the cold of that dark pit and the all-enveloping darkness as clear as anything else in his life. That HAD happened to him. But. . . those other places he'd been to, they'd all felt real, too. If this was a dream, he'd still be at the bottom of that hole right now, probably dead like the animals that had fallen in there long before him had. Was he dead? But. . . he didn't FEEL dead. He felt alive. Very solid and very alive. Looking down at his hands, he saw the cloth band he'd been given to wrap around the top of the tree. The instructions that old man had given to him weren't a dream. So . . . what in the world had just happened to him?? He looked upward to the tops of the treeline and wondered about what he'd experienced. The border between dreams and reality suddenly became a lot less clear and a lot more mysterious. On the plus side of things, he looked fine. He felt perfetly okay. In all honesty, he felt really good. Like he'd been fed, had plenty to drink, had a great night of sleep, and was energized to start his day. Even his face seemed radiant as he smiled, and his eyes seemed to shine with a vigor he'd never had before. Whether all of that had been reality or a dream, one thing was clear above everything else. What he'd experienced was the most precious thing he'd ever learned. He'd been through something absolutely incredible and it had forever changed him in the best possible way. Maybe . . . maybe what the old man had said was true. Maybe Kaosu was more than a simple human being. It was in that moment something both his father and Onjiyou had said popped into his mind. 'There's nothing better in this world than having learned something.' He had to admit, this was a pretty nice feeling. Just as he was gathering himself mentally after his ordeal, feeling better and relaxed, he went stiff. His body on full alert. Up ahead he spotted a large boulder that was sticking out of the ground some distance away from him up the path. On the large rock stood an impressive, strong, stunningly prestine white tiger with white fur as white as the snow itself and black stripes darker than the night sky itself. Just as soon as he was able to get a good look at the creature, it dashed off into the forest and out of sight. The boy closed his hands around the cloth band in his hands, recalling the latest lesson Onjiyou had put forth for Kaosu to complete. Drawing in a deep lungfull of breath, eyes looking up the path leading into the forest, he smiled and began walking forward. After this whole experience, how Kaosu saw this world, how he precieved everything, had completely changed. It was moment where nothing had changed, and yet, everything had changed, too. He couldn't help letting his gaze wander upwards as he walked, looking up at the towering trees, their branches, how wonderfully green the leaves were. The birds chirping away. The wind intermittenly making its way through the area. How these big, old trees rose upwards as if they dared to touch the sky itself. Trees so old they'd probably been alive longer than the people who had been living here for generations. It seemed as though the overflowing power of life itself, coming from everything around him, was being transmitted though his body. He'd never felt so strong before, and had never felt the power of life. It was beyond what he could put into words. As the boy's warm brown eyes surveyed his surroundings, feeling as though this was the first time he was truly seeing everything, feeling a great sense of respect for all of existence, just then, something moved out of the corner of his vision. Kaosu continued walking but could see something slowly move between the dark undergrowths of the forest around him. His pace quickened a bit as he began to walk faster. Whatever it was in the shadows seemed to follow him, getting faster as well. He began to hear a low, rumbling sound coming from in front of him, he able to feel it through the soles of his sandals. The further ahead the boy walked, the louder the sound became. Soon enough the thick forest gave way to a grand sight. A waterfall was laid out before him to the right side, rising up a good distance to reveal where it came from. The edge of a cliff. Stretched out in front of him was a crystal clear lake. Where the edge of the forest met the water left little room for any sort of bank between them. The only warning signs being the loud, ever-rumbling sound it radiated. A breath escaped from between his lips as any thoughts of whatever the unknown beast was that was following him, stalking him were pushed away by this sight. Beautiful rainbows were present near the base of the waterfall as the countless droplets of water from the waterfall collided with the water below. Because of this, even the leaves of the trees sparkled due to the water droplets covering them. "Wow..." He walked forward between a few tree trunks until he stood almost at the water's edge. To the right, the waterfall's bottom. Before him, the lake it poured into. Off to the left, the water flowed out of this lake and into a valley that ran between a deep ridge. This waterway must support the whole area. All the people. The animals. The plants. There must be a lot of fish that live here, too. The water. . . this water probably flows out to the ocean somewhere. His mind, for a second, flashed back to what he'd seen of the great ocean. All the life that place held within it. Everything seemed to support everything else in one way or another. This was a surprise to him. A natural system that forever supported itself. As he watched this for a long minute, the strength and beauty of this sight, he saw the seven colors of the rainbow, now more than he ever had before now. Before he could think too much about this, a figure emerged from a nearby rainbow, walking out onto a nearby boulder that was half exposed out of the water and closest to the shoreline. An odd feeling came to the boy as he looked at this white tiger. The white fur with black stripes. Those brown eyes. "I know-" he coughed then spoke up clearly. "I know you... don't I?" Not today but... from... a very long time ago. Kaosu was certain of it. But when? Where? How? Before today he'd never seen ANY tiger, muchless a white one. He couldn't remember, but that familiarity was there. Yes. He was positive. He knew this tiger. It felt like some old forgotten memory his mind lost track of, but his heart knew without a doubt. He felt really nostalgic looking at the tiger. But . . . why? With a surprising amount of grace and levity for such a strong, massive feline, the tiger lept off of the rock and onto dry land, taking its time approaching Kaosu. The boy didn't move an inch as the tiger approached. The closer the tiger got, the more certain he was that he knew this tiger. The feeling was like a child who'd lived alongside a beloved pet for many years. Feelings of surprise, confusion, joy, and relief swirled around within him. By the time the tiger was close enough, Kaosu placed a hand on that big, soft, fluffy, white fur covered head and, just that fast, he felt peace. All of his thoughts turned quiet. The tiger softly grumbled then stepped forward, nudging its head against Kaosu's chest in a snuggly way, getting a delighted laugh from the boy as he moved his fingers down through the tiger's thick fur. As weird as this moment was if anyone else had been going through it, this was no dream. This was a flesh and blood creature. "You know me too, don't you?" The tiger rubbed his head against Kaosu's side, and there was a feeling of the tiger, on some level, answering him without any words. He knew Kaosu. He'd known the boy since he was born. It was a while later, well into the afternoon hours, when the boy returned to the village with the white tiger walking at his side. The sight made Onjiyou gasp in surprise and took Kaosu offguard. "Are you okay?" Kaosu asked the old man. Onjiyou shut his mouth and nodded once. He needed a minute to recover from this unexpected sight. "Yes. I'm quite alright. This is most certainly a surprise. From the look of things, you appear as though your heart has woken up new senses within you." "I have." He placed a hand on the tiger's side, burying it into the soft, warm, fluffy fur. "When did you know about Byakuen?" "Hm?" "Byakuen. I'm sure of it," Kaosu started. "Byakuen is a legendary tiger god who use to guide people from one sparkling place to another. He fought in the ancient times of the gods." Onjiyou smiled. He raised his voice so everyone in the village could hear what he had to say next. "THIS IS THE PROOF THAT THIS BOY IS OUR LORD! THE ONE TRUE KAOSU!" This caught everyone's attention. The old man looked at the boy. "We've known about this tiger for a very long time. This is the one who came to visit you on the day you were born." The fellow villagers came out of their homes and the surrounding treeline. It's not like they weren't hoping this was THEE Kaosu, but, they needed proof. They needed to see with their own eyes that this observant and knowledgeable young boy was their clan's guardian returned to the world. "He's been a guardian of the Kaosu clan for an incredibly long time, and, yes, long ago, he did help all living beings to that sparkling place." Kaosu looked at his furry feline companion again. He couldn't help wondering why this sacred beast, the one that lived in the time of the gods and long before humans, was now here. Right in front of him. Despite being told of just who he was, and everything he'd been through, he still didn't really feel like it. I mean, would anyone else believe if it they were told that they're basically the reincarnation of some super being that not only led a clan, but helped lead the way to guide people to a better, sparkling, radiant place? It was still a lot to take in. How could a 10 year old boy really, truly believe that he was a living, reincarnated legend? "It all seems so crazy," Kaosu said. "It's, like, some sort of dream, but . . . it's not a dream at all." "Byakuen has come to see you again," Onjiyou stated. It was clear that, in spite of everything, he was still struggling to believe who he was. What he was. His bond with the tiger. "This white tiger, Byakuen, had actually appeared in your village long before you were born and even, for a while, after you were born, too. Keeping watch over you in your earliest days of this life." He looked at the beautifully impressive tiger and couldn't help a small smile. "It's said that Byakuen is the transformation of all life in this world. By having lived a good and rich life here on Earth, he then became the immortal tiger god. All because he has a pure heart. He came to you only because you have a pure heart, too." Almost as if to prove this point, or, perhaps, by mere coincidental timing, Byakuen strolled away from the boy's side, walked over to a nearby patch of growing wildflowers, then laid himself down comfortably for a nap. From one of the nearby trees, a small bird flew through the air, landed on the tiger's back, and began grooming one of its wings. The tiger, clearly aware of the company, did nothing at all about it but drift off to sleep. Kaosu looked at the scene with an amused chuckle. For a tiger god, he sure behaved like a regular old tiger. It was so curious. Any little animal, birds especially, would be deathly afraid of any other creature with huge fangs. Predator and prey. Everything he'd seen so far showed that Byakuen was a cut above the rest. He'd come here today to help lead Kaosu along his path. Help the boy become ready for what lies ahead. This meeting is strong enough evidence that it convinces Kaosu of his fate, of his legend. Kaosu and Byakuen. What could possibly bring these two souls together? Byakuen recognizes Kaosu as his master, while still remaining somewhat of a wild beast. Upon seeing him, there was immediately a love and respect for the tiger that he'd never know about before. Being with him felt natural and as if they were in harmony with one another. Not an owner and a pet. Not a master and his beast. Two old friends. The years flowed by from that day and, before he knew it, a full decade had already gone by. After fully accepting what his destiny was, what fate had in store for him, he threw himself completely into his training. He tapped into his potential and abilities that went beyond mere human power. Then again, who knows? Maybe Kaosu was little more of an ancient survivor of what humans use to be. An example of the power that people had originally possessed in the ancient days, but had long since forgotten about. His fighting skills had improved. He could more incredibly fast, faster than the wind itself. If he concentrated, he could send his thoughts out to someone who was a long distance away. This was a small portion of everything he could do with 'the power of Kaosu'. One day when he was 20 years old, still living in the village, the young man had gone out for a walk. One of the few rare days where he had no lessons to complete, no challenges to overcome, no latent abilities to try tapping into and mastering. He had the day all to himself and had decided a day meandering about around the waterfall would be nice. However, what he hadn't been expecting was to be attacked. The sky was blue and without a single cloud. The air was comfortably warm. The day felt inviting to be out and about somewhere. As Kaosu approached the side of the waterfall, he'd been aware of something being present. He could sense its presence. He'd brushed it off as possibly nothing but a monkey or other small animal. This was quickly dashed away as someone lept down from above with a shout. Kaosu moved at the last moment and heard the sound of a long stick smack against the ground. "Whoa!" It was a good thing he'd spend so much time training. Byakuen had helped out a lot by launching unexpected 'attacks' at him. Enough to catch him offguard and prepare him, maybe rough him up just a little, but did no real harm otherwise. There was no effort needed to realize that the tiger wasn't behind this attack. Kaosu spun around and took a defensive stance, ready to defend himself even without a weapon in hand to use. A voice from above made the raven haired young man look up. "Sorry about that!" came the voice of a young man. There on one of the lower branches of the tree was a sturdily built young man. He made his way down to ground level and retrieved his wooden staff. "I heard something approach and I assumed it was some wild animal. Sure wasn't expecting to see another human being around these parts. My apologies there, friend." Kaosu looked the man up and down. He wore the clothing of a monk. What in the world was a monk doing way out here? Sure, his village wasn't completely isolated from the rest of the world, but that didn't mean it was close to any public roads or forest paths that any random person could stumble onto. The raven haired young man was so use to his fellow villagers in this particular Kaosu clan that to see an outsider left him a bit stunned. The stranger offered Kaosu a smile. "The name's Tetsuhide- ah... no. I shouldn't say that. I meant, my name is Kose Shuusetsu. I'm a monk. Feh." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I guess my clothes were a dead giveaway to that though."

( Translator's note : Sorry for the interruption but I just wanted to say that that Tetsuhide / Kose Shuusetsu is referred to as 'Shuusetsu' in the story, but, come on, let's be honest here. When it comes to us Western people 'Kose' is a LOT easier to read and mentally pronounce than 'Shuusetsu' -shuu seh suu- is. Whether it's laziness or something else, solely for the sake of making things easier to read, I'll be using 'Kose' -koh say- from here on out. It's not a big deal, but thought I should let you know anyway. Thanks for your time and you may proceed reading!)

Kaosu stood normally, realizing this young man was no threat to him at all. Without even letting him get a word in edgewise, he continued. "I bet you're wondering why I'm not at a temple right now. Ugh. I hate living in temples. I try but I get so fed up that I just ran away. . . and . . . heh. . . I feel really dumb. I lost my way and it's been a few days since I've seen another person at all. Finally! This must mean that there's signs of life around here! A village? A town? Anything's better than being stuck out here in the wilderness. I feel like I've abandoned the Buddhist ways by running off and having to eat wild animals and berries and stuff to survive. That's why I was hiding up there. I was hoping some prey animal would happen by here and I'd finally manage to get a meal or something. I really must've been out of it to think that you were an animal." Kaosu couldn't help a smile, feeling a bit bad for the guy. "You really must've been hungry to think I was prey. And to completely miss your target, too." Kose laughed. "Here," Kaosu said, placing a hand on a leather bag that was attached to his waist. "I caught a couple birds earlier. You're free to have a few to eat if you'd like." "What?! Really?!" "Sure," he said, walking past the young man and to the water's edge. "I've got more than enough for myself, so I'm happy to share." He removed one of the deceased small birds from his bag and dipped it into the water to clean it. "Wow! This- this is great! Thanks so much!" Tetsuhide helped prepare the birds and collect sticks for a fire. Upon his first bite of the cooked bird, cried out in a loud, joyful, thankful voice. His accidental attack on Kaosu ended up being the best possible thing to happen to him in a long while. Kaosu watched quietly as he ate his own bird this emotional, exciteable young man ate fast, not even trying to hide how hungry he was. It was a good thing he'd caught several birds early that morning, or else Tetsuhide probably would've keeled over and died by now from hunger. The black haired young man didn't mind sharing what he had, with the other hungrily eating four of the cooked birds before sighing and relishing the fact that he no longer felt like he was starving to death. "Aww, man, now I feel ashamed again remembering what I did," Tetsuhide said. "Seeing how you practally inhaled those birds, life for you at that temple with only a simple meal every day must've been unbearable," Kaosu observed. It's not like Tetsuhide was a thin or older man, where a simple meal a day would satisfy him. Far from it. From the short time he'd been around this young man, he didn't even seem like he wanted to be a monk. "It was. It really, really was. Not like I wasn't honestly trying. I was doing my best but . . ." he sighed and placed both arms behind himself, leaning back with his palms on the ground. "I wanted to be something different than just another person out in the world going about killing things, but, I don't think a monk is it." "I think you're being too hard on yourself," Kaosu said. He was enjoying Tetsuhide's company. After having spent the past decade surrounded by people who only knew him was THEE Kaosu of legend, their leader, the one who would come again to save the from the dark era, getting to be around this guy made him feel like a normal person and it was refreshing. He didn't feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders for once. Plus, he was really easy to talk to. It felt nice. "You think so?" "Yes. This world is a big place. A very big place. I'm sure there's a place for you in it that's not as a regular person obligated to go out and kill, and not as a solitary life lived as a monk in a temple." Tetsuhide closed his eyes and sighed, looking as if Kaosu's words had lived some invisible weight that had been dragging him down for a long time. The duo had spent the rest of the afternoon and evening together talking. That night, Kaosu and Tetsuhide made their way to the root of a large, tall, strong tree. Kaosu leading the way and feeling as though he was being guided there. Over the years Kaosu had noticed that a few old people usually felt drawn to this village, to spend time with the people there. It wasn't an every day occurance, but wasn't exceptionally rare, either. Although there was no single clear answer as to why, since this village wasn't easy to find by any means, he felt that the reason might be down to these old people who were close to death. Maybe by months or by years. That they, on some level, sought out the peace and inner light that the villagers radiated and were more sensitive to it when compared to younger individuals. When the old people came here, it wasn't at all out of place for some of them to bring out some specially made liquor to enjoy. This was something rarely produced or shown in public, but, here, it was fine for them. Kaosu stopped in front of the large, tall oak tree. There was an old man sitting there beside an area close to the base of the trunk that looked more like a bowl, rather than natural growth that jutted out from the tree. Spots like this were perfect because, not only did it provide overhead shade and protection from the weather, but the bowl-like spot was great to place one's foods and drinks into. When people weren't making use of it, rain and dew would gather here. That way, whether a human or a beast was thirsty, this offered them a bit of water to drink, even if the nearest body of water might've been some distance away. "Whoa," Tetsuhide breathed out. "I didn't know this was a thing that existed!" referring to the 'bowl' of the tree. The old man currently taking full advantage of the space for his own bottled drink and food. A small campfire glowing flames nearby to warmly illuminate the area. Kaosu couldn't help a chuckle at his new friend's reaction. "Yes. If one knows where to look, these are somewhat common around here." He turned his attention to the wrinkled old man resting against the tree's trunk and watching the two youngsters. "Hello. May we join you?" The old man nodded. "Sure, if ya want. Feel free to help yourself to my food and drink," he stated, not missing the fact that Tetsuhide's gaze was practally glued to the bottle of important liquor and almost drooling at the sight of it. "It's not much, but I'm happy to share." "Thanks!" Tetsuhide eagerly said, taking a seat beside the fire. Although this was the warmest time of the year, that didn't mean the air didn't have a tinge of cold to it once the sun had set. As he marvelled at how the people managed to make a pretty comfortable living for themselves here in the mountains, he smiled as the old man reached over, grabbed his bottle of liquor, and handed it to the young man. Kaosu thanked the old man for his kindness then took a seat beside the fire as well, closing his eyes a moment to enjoy the sensations of the moment. The air was cool. The warm fire was burning and crackling quietly. The smell of dried meat and the piece of pottery it had been warmed on floated in the air. It was a good aroma. He opened his brown eyes and gazed upward at the night sky. From between the openings of where the tree's foilage didn't meet, he could see the sky, full of sparkling stars above. With no moon to light the way, the stars were on full display to be enjoyed. Tetsuhide allowed himself a gulp of the delicious liquor and was grateful for the old man's generosity as he passed a piece of warm, cooked meat to him. "This is so great! It's been a few years since I last had a meal anything like this. I tell you what, this doesn't even come close to the meals I was having before." With a big smile, he raised the bottle of liquor over his head. "Thank you for this mountain feast! May all who take part enjoy great blessings because of it!" he called out, then proceeded to drink. Both the old man and Kaosu watched Tetsuhide. "That's a pretty big bottle," he said, "I wonder if it'll be a problem for you to drink all of that." The old man couldn't help a laugh at the entertaining sight. "Bah. He's looks like a strong young man. I'm sure he'll be fine." "Thanks for the compliment," the monk said before taking a bite out of his piece of cooked meat. "Buddhist monks are tough, so I'm sure I can handle it." He was something else, that was for sure. "Oh?" Kaosu asked. "You sure about that? After all, you DID run away from temple life." The monk waved a hand in front of his face as if to wave away the comment. "Just because I didn't get to the level where I was good enough to shave my head doesn't mean I don't still count as a monk." "Sure, I might've gotten the name 'Tetsuhide' from the monks, but my real name is Kose Shuusetsu." The old man's grey eyebrows rose at this statment, recognizing the family name. "Aren't you originally from this area? Pretty sure I've heard that family name before." "Yeah," he said, taking another bite out of the meat. "Although I lived over in Asuka, my house was like a branch of a branch of a tree when it came to my family. We were pretty poor. With such a big and spread out family, there was no property or fields to divide up and give to someone like me. No way for me to make a proper living of any kind. I guess it comes with the territory. A big family is nice and all, but there's only so much land a father can give to his adult kids to live off of." "And yet," Kaosu chipped in, "you seem rather cheerful for someone with such a sad past." Kose couldn't help a smile, probably due to a mix of the pleasant night, the good company, the food, and the liquor. "Nah. I'm still a happy person at heart, especially when compared to other poor people. I get to study stuff, learn some martial arts, have a pretty okay life. Temple life might be all peaceful, but in this day and age, hearing about people attacking and killing others, well, it's hard to not want to learn how to protect yourself." The old man nodded, completely understanding his logic. These days, due to robbers who hid out in the fields and various noisy people who seemed to only want to make a ruckus, the monks in temples all across the land had to learn how to step up and protect themselves, or else they'd leave themselves open to be attacked, robbed, or even killed. "For a while, I was pretty fond of living at the temple," his mood seemed to come down a bit. His happy, carefree personality showed that, despite his joyful nature, even he could be weighed down by negative emotions. "But . . . the reason why I left there wasn't because of the temple life itself. The whole time I was there," he lifted his gaze to directly look at the two men, "there were things I saw happening right in front of me that showed the 'great monks' who lived there had bad intentions. Everything I've heard about the Buddhist monks when I was growing up always talked about how great, benevolent, caring, and helpful they were. These guys . . . they weren't any of that." The old man reached into the tree's 'bowl', picking up a couple of persimmons, handing one to Kaosu and another to Kose. Kaosu nodded his head once in acknowledgement and thanks, not wanting to speak yet and interrupt his friend. "How so?" the old man queried. "The teachings of Buddha," Kose began, "were originally mean to help save the people. That way they could go out and preach how to live in a righteous way with this world and the other people in it." He lowered his gaze, staring at the small campfire in front of them. He shook his head slowly as a serious expression came to his face, brow furrowed. "When people in need would come to the temple, the monks would take a lot of money from the rich nobels. Instead of offering any true help or blessings, they'd only offer really mysterious, suspicious prayers. It always made me feel uncomfortable." "Mysterious prayers?" echoed the old man, the bewilderment clear in his voice. "Yeah," he looked over at the old man. "Like, if someone came to the temple and was angry at another person, the monk would offer a prayer that would curse or even kill that other person. It's almost as if the monks weren't saying any real prayers, but casting spells, instead. All to make a profit. I'm not crazy, right? That's not how monks should be. To make matters worse, the young monks acted like they didn't see what was going on, or pretended like it wasn't happening. They acted like there wasn't a thing they could do about it, but, for me, I can't forgive that! That's not okay and NOT how a monk should be!" Angrily, Kose popped the last bit of cooked meat into his mouth to chew, perhaps in some unconscious effort to work out a bit of his anger over the situation. "If you're living in the capital city, sure there are going to be higher up people that can't be touched. Their behavior goes unchecked. No one can do anything about what they do, so they get ignored. But. . . it shouldn't be that way in a temple. That's not how it should work." It was tough to hear about, but worse knowing that this young man had actually gone through this. Kaosu glanced over at the old man. He did look a little upset, but he had the feeling that this wasn't exactally the latest breaking news. Kose was right. This sort of behavior was wrong on every count, but, what could anyone do? Whether it was some rich noble person, a rich merchant, or a high ranking religious person, what could an ordinary person hope to accomplish if they spoke up against it? All of those bad actions and evil intentions would be aimed at the person. If one thought that life standing by watching this going on was bad, it would've been made so much worse. "I'm sure," Kose continued, "that I'm not the only one who has a problem with all this." He grunted. "I couldn't take being there any longer. I couldn't standing seeing those rotten people serving Buddha." He brought the liquor bottle to his lips and proceeded to drink what remained. Kaosu shook his head a little, feeling sorry for him. It's clear that this was a good guy at heart. He only wanted to help others and be helpful, to be able to understand people's pain and help them find comfort. Being a monk would've seemed like the perfect outlet for such a life, and he, probably, would've been very content in a normal temple. It was a crappy situation all around. His hopes for an ideal life had been dashed away and here was, left alone in the world and feeling angry. If someone left a temple, they couldn't simply return a while later with the excuse of 'oh! whoopsie! my bad! I got completely lost!'. Sure, after what he'd been though it's not like it would be a lie to say that he DID get lost. A few minutes of quiet had passed by, allowing Kose's temper to cool down. "What'll you do with your life after this?" the old man asked. Kose's smile returned, a bit sheepish. "Well, I do feel a little bad saying this, but I think I'll take advantage of the stick fighting technique I learned when at the temple. I won't be going back to that temple. . . or any other temple. Who knows how far that corruption has spread! I figure, may as well make good use of what I learned there. Maybe I can use it to be someone who guards the gates to a city. You know, taking away something good from a bad situation." Kaosu remained quiet, not sure of what to say after all of that information. He was shocked to hear about it, and didn't realize the evil had become so widespread. Hearing about all of this made his heart hurt. As the night stretched on, Kose, having eaten better than he had in a long time, slept soundly on the ground nearby. This left the old man and Kaosu still awake. The old man poked at the embers, setting a few small sticks on them, breathing a bit of new life into the campfire. He didn't miss how much Kose's story had upset Kaosu. In a quiet tone, so as to not accidentally rouse the monk from his slumber, the old man spoke. "It really is such a shame that in this big, wonderful world, it sure seems like evil things are coming. We're at the beginning of an age of darkness. The evidence for it is everywhere these days." Kaosu turned his troubled brown eyes to the old man. "Why do people get caught up and lost in evil stuff like this? Don't they know better?" The old man fully leaned back against the tree trunk. "In short, it's down to an inherent level of greed that people possess. Taste, touch, smell, the desire to want more of what makes them feel good. From the teachings of Buddha, it's said that we're all trapped within the desires of this world. The more we give into those desires, the more we hunger for them. Even if it means people go around hurting others in order to get it." Kaosu shook his head slowly, feeling upset the more that he listened to all of this. "I'll be the first to admit that I'm not really familiar with everything in this world. I've seen the best parts of it. I've seen that there are more important things to live for and that a heart rejoices in the ability to be alive and experience things." "You're right. The people who are trapped in the world of desires don't understand how important this is. It's not just that they're deprived of this and don't know about true joy, but it seems like they're trapped in a cycle of endless shallow desires. Because they're so caught up in doing these evil things will probably be stuck like that forever, unable to escape from that cycle and will die. An insatiable greed for doing those evil things, and, yet, they seek a reward for doing these things. It's like their own hell." Kaosu's nose scrunched at that word. "Hell," he muttered. What a horrible word. The old man was right. Everlasting greed only gives birth to a bad heart and makes anything a person does become corrupt. As if their hands are covered in forever wet ink. Anything they touch, no matter what their motivations, will be stained and ruined. The saddest part is that a person like this, they won't feel fulfilled unless they continue following the darkness that's in their heart. Even then, that's not enough. It will never be enough. Just like a drug addiction. Kaosu sighed heavily, sitting both legs up and resting his forearms over his knees. "I wonder, can these people even be saved?" The old man doubtfully shook his head. "If someone was able to do so, I guess they could try cutting off that bad cycle. Go cold turkey, as it was. However, I think it'd be like water flowing off the side of a mountain. There's no real way to stop it." "Maybe . . . maybe all it takes is a shining person, you know, someone with a good heart and pure intentions, to make a change. To stop that endless cycle." "My boy, even if you tap into your heart, get rid of the evil ones littering the land, put a stop to their evil work, it's like a single lit candle in a dark room. You're only shining in that one place. No where else. Every where else continues to be plunged into darkness." That's when an idea struck. Even to the old man, he took full notice of the change in the young man. There's an old story that talked about a lone warrior. Someone who was bright and gentle, a spectacular warrior. This warrior was able to purge darkness and evil from the hearts of countless horrible people. With his job done, he'd vanished without a trace. Or, so the story went. What if, somehow, Kaosu was able to do this. He already knew he was different than other humans. He had a special kind of power and had experienced wonderful things no other human had before. What if he could find a way to be like that warrior? Somehow be able to go across the land and purge the evil from the hearts of numerous people. That had to be doable to some degree, right? I mean, he WAS the Kaosu. "The desire to live in a good manner," the old man continued, "is one thing. Wanting to protect that way of life, to help people live a good life, it something else. It's clear that you can feel this. That's the role of our clan. That is your role, too. Kaosu, the leader of our family, our Lord, is to properly protect this way of life. To protect this shining that everyone has within themself." It was only in this very moment that the full weight of his life's responsiblity dawned on him. He truly graped the seriousness of his role in this world. The only thing is. . . he's just one person. One guy. Would such a goal even be achieveable? Byakuen slowly, tiredly made his way into the area to lay down at Kaosu's side. The young man stroked the tiger's head. It was then that he realized there was only one other individual in this world that was like him. This tiger led him. He was the next closest shining thing that existed in this world. He was older and wiser and certainly had to know what to do next. All Kaosu had to do was follow Byakuen. No. It had to be more than that. He had to listen to his heart and to the tiger's as well. Let that be his guide. In the radiant campfire's glow, the tiger's brown eyes seemed to appear more gold. Kaosu sat quietly, admiring this and realized that Byakuen's eyes were better than his own. He could see in the darkness. More than that. He could see the path right in front of them. What if this went beyond physical sight? Was this tiger able to see through the darkness of evil, not being fooled by that, and stay focused on what was true? Kaosu smiled down at the furry animal as the tiger closed his eyes. Yes. That's what he'd do. He'd keep himself open and aware to this god tiger. He'd listen to his heart and let that be his guide. Morning came and found the two young men on their own. "My apologies for all the trouble I've caused," Kose said to Kaosu. "Is there anything I can do to make up for it? I accidentally mistook you for a wild animal, attacked you, and you not only shared some of your food with me, but also you've been so nice to me this whole time. I may not have much, but whatever I have, what ever I can do for you, you let me know. I'll happily give or do whatever you want." Kaosu smiled. Kose was an honorable young man. No laws had been broken, and it's not like the monk had actually broken any laws. Yet, here he stood, apologetic. "Well, it's not like you did anything truly terrible, and I don't hold any ill will against you for what happened. However, if you want to, I'd love to learn about that stick fighting technique you mentioned last night. That is," he bowed his head to the monk in a respectful manner, "if you'd be willing to teach me." "Wow!" Kose gasped. "No, hey, I'd be happy to teach you everything I know, but, please, don't lower your head to me. If anything, I should be doing that to you after all the kindness you've shown!" His warm smile helped bring a bit of ease to the monk. "I appreciate it." "Well, do you have anywhere you need to be? Something else you need to be doing this morning?" "Nope. My day is completely free. If you're in the mood, I'd be happy to begin any time you're ready." "Alright, then," Kose said, scratching the back of his head. "Just keep in mind that, although I'm no longer an official monk of any temple, I'll do my best to teach you what I know and pass on my sense of righteousness to you." "Sounds like a solid plan to me." Figuring that the best place to train woule be beside the waterfall, they walked back through the forest to reach that beautiful waterfall. Once there, Kose carefully selected to long, sturdy sticks, which seemed more like solid rods or staffs made of wood, from the ground, handing one to Kaosu. "There. This one is yours. We're going to start off with a bit of sparring so I can tell where you're at with your fighting skills." This being one of the many things they'd talked about the day prior. "Ready?" Kaosu nodded once. "Ready." That's all it took when Kaosu made the first move. He saw an opportunity and struck at Kose's feet, which only missed by a hair as the monk jumped upwards, lifting his own staff above his head, spinning it around. Kaosu jumped up to stike again, lifting his weapon high in order to strike. Just that fast, Kose moved as he landed on the ground, the edge of his spinning staff making contact with Kaosu's. The resulting collision made it feel as though Kaosu's staff had struck a solid iron wall. He jumped back and watched as Kose kept spinning his wooden staff. It seemed like the weapon was moving freely under the monk's control, and it was abundantly clear that Kose weilded it masterfully. In the hands of this young man, it no longer seemed like a wooden staff, but more like a sharp-edged blade. Kose, seeing his new friend's momentary hesitation, rushes forward and brings down his staff to strike. Kaosu, moving fast, dodges the attack, but not by very much. "Ah!" Kose laughed. "Almost had you that time!" Kaosu regained his footing a few steps away, out of the reach of his opponent's weapon. It was only then he noticed his cheek was stinging. He brushed the back of his hand across his cheek only to see red smudged across it. Kose had managed to make contact. "Oh! Sorry about that!" Kose said, seeing a thin red line on Kaosu's cheek as a little bit of blood rolled down his skin. Kaosu, not ready to let a little scratch interfere with this sparring session, took advantage of the momentary pause to rush at the monk. Kose, quick to take notice, jumped backward to avoid another attack. However, the desire to battle any further had left him and he lowered his staff. The raven haired young man stopped and lowered his staff, as well. He'd been through enough martial arts training in his life to know when the fight was over. These two were rare people, and even more rare in the world of warriors. The duo gazed at one another. "Should we stop?" Kose asked. "Let's keep going," Kaosu returned. Kose lifted his staff and their staffs met again with a loud clash. Then another. It didn't take many more collisions before the two wooden weapons broke apart and went flying towards the water, leaving them both defenseless. Kose laughed. "Well done." This had been a great sparring session and the ending was amusing. Neither one of them truly won or lost, seeing as how both of their staffs were now floating downstream like a couple of harmless chopsticks that had fallen into the water. Kaosu couldn't resist a smile himself as he lightly panted. This had been interesting and entertaining. "The thing about a staff like that," Kose began, "is that it's more than some oversized stick. When handled properly, it can be like a shield that's harder than iron, or turned into a sharp blade to strike through something." Kaosu nodded. It sounded strange, but after having seen such a thing for himself, this was an incredibly interesting weapon. He doubted many people would look at a wooden rod and think it could be turned into such a viable weapon. "You know," Kaosu began, "after all that talk about what life was like for you in the temple and the capital city, could you take me there? I want to see what it's like for myself so I can gauge just how bad everything is. I feel like there's some kind of big, dangerous sensation going on. If I don't begin to take action soon, I have this feeling like it'll be too late for me to do anything at all and stop it." "Well, sure, I guess. Just a fair warning, stay true to your heart. It can be too easy for someone to get caught up in the ways going on in the city." Kaosu nodded once. Despite everything he'd heard of, the true magnitude of how dangerous and evil everything was going to be had yet to be seen. There was no way to know how much worse things were going to get once this new age began, but one thing was clear. Kaosu had to try and stop it. No one else could.

#yoroiden samurai troopers #shinkonhen book4 translated english #shin kon hen

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travelguy4444 · 5 years

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Backpacking Cambodia: 3 Suggested Itineraries for Your Trip

Posted: 5/1/2019 | May 1st, 2019

Cambodia: it’s full of warm and friendly people, beautiful coastlines, a lively nightlife, and it has a growing foodie scene. It’s also one of the cheapest countries in the world.

I didn’t have high expectations when I first visited in 2006. Back then, all I knew about Cambodia was its awful history involving the Khmer Rouge and that it was home to Angkor Wat.

But I was blown away by the people and their warmth, spirit, and hospitality; the beautiful natural scenery; and the country’s long history. It was wonderful, and I ended up staying weeks longer than I thought I would (I especially loved Phnom Penh). I returned often, including spending over a month there when I was writing my first book. (It made for a great base of operations.)

In the last decade or so, Cambodia has grown by leaps and bounds. Sleepy little towns I visited before are now megacities, tourists (especially Russians and Chinese) visit en masse, there are more ATMs (there was exactly one in the country when I first went), and there’s a growing expat and foodie scene.

Cambodia still has problems, but it’s a lot more cosmopolitan today than when I first went.

What should you do when you visit Cambodia?

How should you plan your trip?

Below are some itineraries that include the best destinations in Cambodia. You can use them as a guideline to help you make the most of your trip!

What to See and Do in Cambodia: A One-Week Itinerary

Day 1 – Phnom Penh

The capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh has a Wild West ambiance, with dusty streets and a “devil may care” atmosphere. It has a few good attractions and an up-and-coming foodie scene.

The main attraction is the Royal Palace. Start there, and don’t miss the beautiful flower gardens and the Silver Pagoda, whose floor is made up of more than 5,000 silver tiles; inside is an emerald-covered Buddha and a diamond-covered Maitreya Buddha. It also has murals around its outer wall that tell the story of the Ramayana.

On the palace grounds are five stupas, with the two largest to the east containing the ashes of King Norodom and King Udung (the two most famous kings of modern Cambodia) and a statue of King Norodom on horseback. Admission is $10 USD for foreigners.

After seeing the palace, learn about the country’s tragic, not-too-distant history. The Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum is a former school where the Khmer Rouge interrogated and tortured people in the 1970s. You’ll see rusty beds and torture devices, in sharp contrast to the beautiful trees and lovely jasmine smell in the gardens. Admission is $5 USD for adults and $3 USD for anyone under 18.

Afterward, head to the Killing Fields, about 14km from Tuol Sleng. Although a visit to Choeung Ek (the best-known site) may not be the most cheerful way to spend an afternoon, it makes for a hallowed and memorable experience, a testament to the dangers of uncontested power. You won’t believe the memorial building in the center that is filled with skulls. Admission is only $3 USD; expect to pay at least $15 USD for a return-trip tuk-tuk ride.

(Tip: Visit the museum before heading to the Killing Fields, as it will open your eyes to the atrocities that happened here.)

Where to Stay in Phnom Penh: Sla Boutique Hostel – This is a pretty nice hostel not far from restaurants, bars, and attractions. It’s clean, and the beds are comfy and have privacy curtains. The staff (especially Mr. Star) are super friendly, and they can really help you plan your trip.

Day 2 – Phnom Penh

Spend your second day wandering around the city, and start by seeing the Independence Monument, designed by architect Vann Molyvann and inaugurated in 1958. It was created to mark Cambodia’s independence from French rule, though it also serves as a de facto war memorial. It’s one of the biggest landmarks in the city and a good place to start your day.

If you’re in the city on a weekend, try to catch an architectural walking tour with KA Tours, which has excellent guides who are students or experts in architecture, plus they’re not very expensive at around $15.

Check out the Cambodian Living Arts Center, a traditional dance school and performance center where you can watch students in training and see traditional live theatre. This is a fun way to spend a couple of hours while learning about the artistic traditions of the country. You can also take part in a workshop, which last around 90 minutes and cost $15 USD per person.

Make sure you stroll along Sisowath Quay on the Mekong River. The 3km walkway is busy and full of restaurants, bars, cafés, and shops.

Day 3 – Sihanoukville

Get an early start and take a five-hour bus ride to Sihanoukville, named after the ruling prince of Cambodia in 1964. It was a lazy beach town until about 2010, when it took off with travelers (and tons of Chinese and Russian tourists on package tours) because of its white-sand beaches, nearby deserted islands, excellent diving, and delicious seafood. Its varied nightlife filled with cheap booze makes it the premier backpacker party city in Cambodia.

If you’re looking to soak up some sun, Independence Beach and Otres Beach are probably your best bets. Serendipity Beach used to be a great party spot, but there’s a lot of Chinese development going on now, so I wouldn’t stay there.

Where to Stay in Sihanoukville: Monkey Republic – This hostel is awesome. It’s a happening place, with a bar, restaurant, and pool. The staff is really friendly, and they host a lot of events. (Say hi to Aaron for me!) They can also organize a lot of day trips for you too.

Day 4 – Sihanoukville

Today is a day for day trips.

From Sihanoukville, hop on a boat and take a 45-minute ride to Koh Rong. While you can stay overnight, if you’re pressed for time, you can do it in a day trip. The beaches here are way better than on the mainland (and a lot less polluted). Snorkeling day trips cost approximately $21 USD and include lunch and equipment; there are PADI-certified schools in the area that offer a variety of different dive trips for one or more days.

If you don’t feel like heading to Koh Rong, you could book motorbike trip into Bokor National Park (as well as longer, multiday trips if you’re interested). There, you can hike through a great rainforest or see the atmospheric ruins of the French aristocracy for whom Bokor was a big draw back in the day. You’ll have some amazing views and find ruins, waterfalls, and temples all around.

You could also do a day trip to Kampot and the pepper fields in that area too.

Day 5 – Siem Reap

It’s gonna be a busy travel day. From Sihanoukville, you’ll need to return to Phnom Penh and then get on another bus to Siem Reap. I recommend Capitol Tours. It’s a 12-hour ride, so it’ll be evening by the time you get to Siem Reap.

(Note: It’s better to take the night bus so as not to waste a day. You won’t sleep well, but you also won’t lose a day!)

Siem Reap is located on the northeastern side of Tonle Sap Lake and is the main access to Angkor Wat. The center remains a rural old town, with French-style houses and shops. The area around the Old Market is crowded with locals and foreigners all day long.

Where to Stay in Siem Reap: Topsky Hostel – This hostel offers basic accommodations in a pretty quiet area that’s not far from the action. Try to get a lower bunk with a privacy curtain. The friendly staff will help you arrange a tuk-tuk and activities too.

Day 6 – Siem Reap

Spend your day at Angkor Wat, the ancient city that was the center of the Khmer Empire that once ruled most of Southeast Asia. The temple was built in the 12th century and covers over 500 acres.

The most popular temples are Angkor Wat, Bayon, Ta Phrom, and Angkor Thom. I would recommend getting a multiday pass so you can visit some of the outer temples where there are fewer visitors. You can hire a tuk-tuk for the day for around $20-25 USD or rent bicycles and explore on your own.

Angkor Wat is open daily from 5am to 6pm. Admission is $37 USD per person for a day pass, $62 USD for a three-day pass, and $72 USD for a seven-day pass.

Day 7 – Siem Reap

Enjoy your last day in Cambodia by exploring more of the Siem Reap area. Head over to the Angkor Wat complex for several more hours in the morning and then head over to astonishing Banteay Srei.

Known as “the city of women,” this temple was dedicated to the Hindu god Shiva and features a number of outstanding red sandstone statues. (You need an Angkor Wat Pass to visit.)

If you have time, visit Tonle Sap, Southeast Asia’s largest freshwater lake. It is 52km (32 miles) from Siem Reap. Sailing down the river and around the lake gives you a look at how closely Cambodian life is tied to this major waterway. Tours start around $2.50 USD per person.

What to See and Do in Cambodia: A Two-Week itinerary

Want to spend more time in Cambodia? Great! You should! There are tons of other places to visit. Here are my suggestions:

Days 1 & 2 – Phnom Penh Follow the Phnom Penh itinerary from above.

Day 3 & 4 – Sihanoukville Follow the Sihanoukville itinerary from above.

Day 5 & 6 – Koh Rong

Head out to Koh Rong, which got its name after the legend of a giant King Kong–like ape that once called the island home. It’s a 45-minute trip from Sihanoukville and a great place to relax on the beach or go snorkeling. There are a lot of accommodation options, and it’s a popular spot with backpackers.

Day trips costs around $25 USD and include lunch and snorkeling equipment, but since you have the time, spend a few nights here relaxing and enjoying beach life.

There are also other islands nearby if you want to stay longer and explore, including Koh Rong Samloem, which is becoming something of a backpacker paradise (there’s even a Full Moon Party there now).

Days 7 & 8 – Kep

In the morning, travel by bus to Kep, which is about two hours from Sihanoukville. This quaint beach town and fishing village is the quiet version of Sihanoukville: a nice place to relax near the ocean but without a party atmosphere. It’s famous for its pepper crab and empty beaches.

Consider taking two full days here. Sure, it’s quite sleepy and there’s not a lot to do, but it’s the perfect place to relax, eat all the delicious crabs the city is famous for, and read a book. You can also spend some time on nearby Rabbit Island (Koh Tonsay) too, a secluded and charming escape from the world if you’re looking to disconnect. Basic bungalows can be rented for under $10 USD per night.

Where to Stay in Kep: Khmer House Hostel – Kep is pretty spread out, so wherever you stay, make sure you rent a bike or scooter. This hostel is a good option as it’s not far from the Crab Market.

Day 9 – Kampot

The southern region of Cambodia is filled with pepper farms where you can learn about the history of the spice, see how it is grown, and pick up what is considered some of the finest pepper in the world.

I’d spend one night in Kampot. It’s another quiet town on the coast. Most people come here to enjoy the scenic riverside views as well as the rolling hills that surround the city. The area used to be a getaway for the French, so you’ll see old French architecture around.

At night, the street near the old bridge is lined with fruit shake vendors. Try a million. The city is famous for them.

Also, if you only do one thing in this entire itinerary, make sure it’s eating the ribs at The Rusty Keyhole. They are some of the best ribs I’ve ever had in my entire life. You have to order them the day before. You’ll also get healthy side of mashed potatoes and coleslaw too. It’s one of the best meals I’ve ever had. I still dream of it.

Where to Stay in Kampot: The Magic Sponge – This is one of my favorite hostels in Cambodia. Make sure you book early, as it tends to sell out. It’s a really nice, relaxed guesthouse where you’ll get your own bed (not a bunk). You’ll feel at home here, and it’s a short walk to the center of town. The dorm rooms are very clean. They also have a little mini-golf course too.

Day 10 – Kampot

Today, hire hire a tuk-tuk driver to explore the Kampot area. The Phnom Chhngok Cave Temple has a religious shrine inside, or you can head out and spend the day in Bokor, as Kampot is relatively close to the park.

Days 11, 12, & 13 – Siem Reap Follow the Siem Reap itinerary from above. Angkor Wat is best seen slowly, so use your days to explore it as much as possible. There are a lot of out-of-the-way temples to visit that are free of crowds.

Day 14 – Siem Reap

On your last day in Cambodia, why not take a cooking class? The class sizes tend to be around six people, and you will learn to prepare three different meals, as well as get recipe cards at the end. Prices start around $20 USD per person; local guesthouses can help arrange a class.

What to See and Do in Cambodia: A Three-Week Itinerary

Have even more time for Cambodia? Good! Cambodia has a lot more to it than the major spots on the backpacker trail.

Days 1, 2, & 3 – Phnom Penh and Kirirom National Park Follow the above suggestions, but also head out to Kirirom National Park for a day trip. This park has all sorts of walking trails, mountain biking trails, waterfalls, and a few lakes. It’s a good place to go to take a break from the city.

The park is around a two-hour drive from the city, so you’ll need to hire a driver for the day. The best way to do this is to find some travelers to join you so you can share a ride, which will cost around $80 for the day.

Days 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8 – Sihanoukville and the Islands Follow the above suggestions but at a much slower pace!

Days 9, 10 & 11 – Kep and Rabbit Island Follow the above suggestions for Kep, but head out to Rabbit Island for a rustic island getaway.

Days 12 & 13 – Kampot Follow the above suggestions!

Days 14, 15, & 16 – Siem Reap Follow the above suggestions!

Day 17 – Koh Ker

For a fun day trip from Siem Reap, head to Koh Ker, located around 2.5 hours from town. Koh Ker was briefly the capital of the Khmer Empire, and many of the temples here are over 1,000 years old. It’s a massive archeological site located in the jungle, and it sees far fewer tourists than Siem Reap.

There are no public buses that go there (the roads were only paved a few years ago), so you’ll have to arrange transportation via your hostel or hotel.

Day 18 – Phnom Kulen

For another fun day trip, head to Phnom Kulen, considered the country’s most sacred mountain. It’s located just 50km from Siem Reap and offers some amazing jungles, hiking, and picturesque waterfalls where you can take dip to beat the heat. You can easily spend a day here. If you head up to the summit, there are some great views as well as a large reclining Buddha statue. Try to arrive early as the park fills up by lunchtime. Admission to the park is $20 USD.

Day 19 – Battambang

From Siem Reap, you can take a three-hour bus to Battambang. Or try taking a riverboat on Tonle Sap for a unique experience (there is one boat per day, with tickets costing around $20 USD per person).

When you arrive, you’ll discover Cambodia without the tourism. Get familiar with Battambang by exploring the town on foot (or by tuk-tuk). Check out the Phsar Boeung Choeuk and Phsar Naht markets. You’ll also want to visit the gorgeous pagodas and temples, such as Wat Pippitharam (near the Old Market), Wat Bovil, Wat Kandal, and Wat Damreay Sar.

In the evening, check out the Battambang Circus. The show is put on by students at a Cambodian nonprofit arts school, so your donations go to a good cause.

Where to Stay in Battambang: Sophea Hostel – This is a good place to meet locals and make some friends. It’s family-run, and they try to make you feel at home. The facilities are pretty basic, but typical, dorms. There’s a nice garden and sitting area. While there’s no restaurant on-site, there are plenty of nearby options.

Day 20 – Battambang

Take it easy this morning by touring the town a bit more on foot. Check out the colonial architecture along the waterfront and the governor’s residence. This building from the early 1900s is not open, but you can marvel at the exterior.

While you’re wandering, don’t miss the Art Deco central market building and the Victory swimming pool (where you can take a dip if you’re in the mood). You may want to visit the Battambang Museum; admission is just $1 USD, and you’ll learn a lot about the history of the area.

After lunch, you should grab a tuk-tuk and head a bit out of town to check out Phnom Sampeu. Take about an hour to climb to the monastery on the hill. You’ll also find some caves in the area with Buddhist temples in them. There’s also another cave at the foot of Phnom Sampeu; this is where you want to be around dusk, when millions of bats fly out of the cave in search of food. It’s an incredible sight!

Day 21 – Siem Reap or Phnom Penh

Make your way back to one of these towns, depending on where your flight is leaving from. Enjoy the bus ride, knowing it’s your last in Cambodia (at least for now)!

*** I always love my time in Cambodia. It lacks the polish of Thailand, making travel here a little more rustic and challenging.

But more amazing than any of the country’s sights and activities are the people. I’ve always found them to be incredibly welcoming. Even with so much darkness clouding their recent history, Cambodians always go above and beyond, making any trip here a memorable one.

But don’t take my word for it. Come and see this incredibly country for yourself.

And let these suggested Cambodia itineraries help you plan your trip!

Book Your Trip to Cambodia: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe, so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time. My favorite places to stay are:

Sla Boutique Hostel (Phnom Penh) – This is a classy hostel not far from restaurants, bars, and attractions. It’s clean, and the beds are really comfy!

Topsky Hostel (Siem Reap) – This hostel is in a quiet area and offers basic accommodation. The staff will help you arrange a tuk-tuk and activities.

Monkey Republic (Sihanoukville) – This hostel is a happening place and always good for a aprty. They have a bar, restaurant, and pool making it really easy to realx and meet people. The staff is really friendly, and they can also organize some day trips for you too.

Sophea Hostel (Battambang) – This is a family-run hostel and they doo a good job of making you feel at home. The facilities are basic but there’s a nice garden and sitting area. While there’s no restaurant on-site, there are plenty of nearby options.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all those I use to save money, and I think they will help you too!

Want More Information on Cambodia? Be sure to visit our robust destination guide on Cambodia for even more planning tips!

Photo credit: 14, 15

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