#Escaping Exodus
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Book recs: black science fiction
As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.
Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!
For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor
Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.
Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes
Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. They’re all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.
The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown
Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.
Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*
Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.
Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson
In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.
Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh
Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.
The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord
After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.
Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud
Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship’s leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship’s sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon
The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.
Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden
Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. It’s also sapphic!
Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*
In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.
Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*
In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.
Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor
Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.
War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi
In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.
The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson
Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!
The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*
In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.
The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*
In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!
The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden
South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.
The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*
Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.
The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport
After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, could’ve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didn’t super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany
1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.
Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi
Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.
Bonus AKA I haven’t read these yet but they seem really cool
Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes
Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow
Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.
Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase
Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.
Orleans by Sherri L. Smith
Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa
Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.
Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole
#nella talks books#lagoon#nubia the awakening#the scourge between stars#xenogenesis#midnight robber#rosewater#do you dream of terra two?#the best of all possible worlds#mirage#an unkindness of ghosts#where it rains in color#escaping exodus#chain gang all stars#parable of the sower#binti#war girls#the space between worlds#the fifth season#the women could fly#the prey of gods#the summer prince#the blood trials#babel 17#pet
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vote yes if you have finished the entire book.
vote no if you have not finished the entire book.
(faq · submit a book)
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#escaping exodus#the owl house#surreal media connections lol#like I was describing the plot of one and was like what fuck this is familiar#I'm pretty sure there are more commonalities too#probably watch amphibia next#no way that's the exact same... right?
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September 6, 2024:
The setting is the real star in this one: a generational starship of people inside a spacefaring beast! It tackles a lot of Today problems through this post-Earth lens:
Environmental issues: their new beast is sick and dying already
Gender inequality: their matriarchal society has just started allowing men to have important jobs
Class inequality: society is stratified based on what body parts of the beast a person's job is to maintain
Social power: there is a ruling class who will conserve the status quo at the expense of all else, including their host
There are two main characters whose perspectives swap out between chapters, and I appreciate that one is a working class prodigy who finds she still has privileges to lose, and the other is a clueless and selfish aristocrat who has decent ideas but abysmal implementation.
All of it however takes a backseat to the reader's joy that they're all Osmosis Jonesing through the cosmos inside a tentacle space dragon, fuck yeah!
8/10 #WhatsKenyaReading
#whatskenyareading#books#reading#library#audiobook#lgbtq+#science fiction#scifi#sci fi#escaping exodus#sapphic#lesbian#wlw#lgbt#lgbtqia#lgbtq#queer#beast#space travel#space#outer space#spaceship#spacecraft#space beast#animal#environmentalism#worldbuilding#speculative fiction#political#generational ship
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Worldbuilding is also my favorite part of stories.
One of the books with some of the most interesting worldbuilding I have read recently is the Afrofuturist story Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden. The humans of this story left Earth and have been living in space for centuries to millennia, living parasitically inside giant space fauna. They have a family system where a marriage is nine people (each with different roles) who can have one child between them, since overpopulation is a huge concern (this rule is defied in various interesting ways by different characters).
The main characters are two women, Seske, heir to the clan matriarch, and Adalla, a beastworker, whose job it is to keep the beast they live in alive until they're done with it. They are in love but being from different castes, it is basically forbidden. Seske also has a sister who challenges her to the matriarchy. And Seske learns how to communicate with the beast which has her wondering if there's a more mutualistic way to live within it.
I still read quite a bit but it feels like a while since I've read fiction very much.
I mean, I did read the Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka a couple days ago, but nominally I still like science fiction and fantasy best, and yet it's like the particular type of book I am craving has somehow ceased to exist.
I really get it on some level how people get stuck longing for the young-adult novels of their past, because you can swear up and down that satisfying and interesting "adult" books exist, but as someone who predominantly reads adult SFF when she reads fiction, finding a SFF book that will stimulate your brain and emotions in the way SFF did for you as a kid takes an absolutely insane amount of trial and error, deep investigative research, and familiarity with your own tastes...
...and you will still read like 14 books that irreparably scar your brain because the author has characters pee themselves like 30 times and makes their werewolf characters love to lick pee. or something
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oh my god i was trying to remember something about which part of i-guess-now-ukraine my dad's family was from and we have this incredibly goofy Family History Website some of my aunts and uncles maintain so i just looked there and
there's a section my uncle wrote about the Old Country that's like "[some guy] found our website looking for more information on the town both our families are from, and his family history is remarkably similar to ours! his great-great-uncle joseph ALSO fled to america after shooting a cossack who was attacking a local woman! crazy!!!"
and like. buddy.
#yeah weirdly a lot of jews DO have a ~family lore~ narrative that's just extremely thinly remixed Moses: Origins#both because it sounds cooler and gives a more psychologically affirming narrative than 'well odessa got pogromed again so--'#even though. if you look at the actual timeline. that was unquestionably the situation#i am somewhat more confident that my mom's family's central Patriarch Escapes From Romania narrative is true simply because#i at least haven't met anyone else who was specifically like 'yeah he was a teenager going to be conscripted into the romanian army#so he hid in a haycart until he reached the ottoman empire'#still dramatic but not like a direct exodus retelling.#box opener
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So... where to next?
Where are we moving to when tumblr finishes this nose dive it's plotting the course for? Cuz i would love to have it cancel that and revert changes and let us all stay, but that's looking overly optimistic. I really enjoy all my mutuals and this little community. I would rather preserve as much of it as possible instead of losing it entirely when the collapse hits.
Is there another blog site still around that could work? Is our best option just a messaging program like discord or something? Hell, any programmers wanna try to make an open source blog site with the features we actually wish tumblr would implement? I want to start trying to plan this now. Before the call to abandon ship officially goes out, and we start scrambling for lifeboats in chaos.
#kirkstuff#serious#the second tumblr exodus#.(first one was when they banned porn)#.pls reply with ideas if you have any#.reblogs appreciated if you also think it's a good idea to ready an escape plan
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Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.
Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).
Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:
Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?
#You're right it's not very satisfying for humanity that the invaders are foiled by a bacteria and not human action! Maybe that's the point!#Maybe it's supposed to be FRIGHTENING and make you ask questions about what humans will do under extreme stress#Not be a morally uplifting tale about Humanity Heroically Defeating the Martians in a Glorious Hollywood Ending#Maybe it's MEANT to be unsatisfying because this is not a straightforward fairytale#I mean I've only read it once and don't know much about Wells' work so I might have misunderstood the point of the book too#But at places it is a very pessimistic view of the human condition and that's partly WHY IT'S SO POWERFUL#That doesn't mean there aren't moments of individual acts of heroism (the Thunderchild for example)#But the question is not just 'how will humanity beat the Martians and prove that we're still the masters of the universe'#Rather 'a) why is humanity so confident that it's ultimately in control of its own destiny#And b) here's lots of scenes of societal collapse and of people pushed to the brink and what would YOU do in those circumstances?#Would YOU feel remorse about silencing the curate even if it did lead to his death?#What if it rather than a foolish adult it had been a small child?#And even if they were weak did they DESERVE it? Yes it might have been necessary but should it be policy going forward?#Would you also be attracted briefly by the certainties that the artilleryman's (rather fascist) plan seems to offer so humanity survives?#But what sort of humanity would that be if it DID survive and is it worth it? The narrator feels he needs to justify the curate's death#The artilleryman would have probably never have thought it was anything OTHER than justifiable or indeed laudable#Under strain and stress would you start to turn against even your loved ones and become brutal?#Is that the only hope for human survival beyond complete surrender? And was the destruction of London maybe even 'cleansing'#In the eugenics sense or in the sense of a natural horror of dirt and germs?#And the vast exodus of six million people fleeing headlong in panic - we might not have seen that exact phenomenon#But didn't the twentieth century subsequently go on to show us unprecedented scale of slaughter and refugee movements and communal strife?#At the end of the day what really separates humanity from other animals? And what separates us from the Martians?#It's not an uncontroversial book- it was written over a hundred years ago for goodness sake and there are questions worth asking#about the way imperialism and arguments about eugenics and population control and all sorts of other dodgy areas operated on Wells' mind#But dear God I really don't think the problem with the book is that 'Humanity didn't save the day!'#Unsatisfying ending? Yes. A FAILURE? No not in my opinion- looks like it was exactly what Wells set out to do#Humanity didn't win the war of the worlds they had a narrow escape and though it might not be martians next time#Why wouldn't disaster return in the future? Sure we've studied their flying machines and even preserved a martian in a jar#But for all our science what have we ACTUALLY learned that will enable us to avert future human catastrophes? Ethically or socially?#Alright rant over- as usual my opinion is not universal nor necessarily well-informed this take just really got my goat
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Now forgive
Then Pharaoh called for Moshe and Aharon in haste; and he said, chatati (I have sinned) against Hashem Eloheichem, and against you. Therefore forgive, now, my sin only this once, and entreat Hashem Eloheichem, that He would only take away from me this mavet.
- Shemot 10:16-17 OJB (2011)
Pharaoh quickly summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “I have sinned against the LORD your God and against you. Now forgive my sin once more and pray to the LORD your God to take this deadly plague away from me.”
- Exodus 10:16-17 NIV (2011)
#bible verse#scripture#life of moses#forgiveness#sin#pharaoh#languages#egypt#the name of the lord#sickness#death#escape#relationships#exodus 10#new international version#orthodox jewish bible
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Ancient Israelites escaping Egypt
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Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1
There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.
A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.
Previous book rec posts:
Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences
For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*
Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.
A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers
Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.
Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*
Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.
The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon
In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.
The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart
January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.
A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares
Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.
Bridge by Lauren Beukes
When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers
Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*
Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.
The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin
1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.
Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*
Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.
The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley
This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*
Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.
Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden
While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.
The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*
The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.
Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi
Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.
Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*
Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).
A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine
Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.
The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*
AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.
Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
Remnant by Kate Genet
One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?
The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*
Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.
Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao
Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.
Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:
Survival Instincts by May Dawney
Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?
These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs
When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
#nella talks books#the light brigade#a psalm for the wild built#meet me in another life#the archive undying#the paradox hotel#fracture infinity#bridge#the long way to a small angry planet#an unkindness of ghosts#ninefox gambit#the left hand of darkness#terra ignota#the stars are legion#the luminous dead#escaping exodus#the doors of eden#the outside#xenogenesis#remnant#the scorpion rules#iron widow#survival instincts#these burning stars#everfair
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vote yes if you have finished the entire book.
vote no if you have not finished the entire book.
(faq · submit a book)
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while im here i have more exodus thoughts im SO CONFLICTED ON IT. more in tags as per use
#ive playyedd let me check#2.5 hours so far ok. so not super far but a pretty decent chunk and plenty of time to get a feel for the setting right?#exodus has made ZERO ABSOLUTE NO mention of a group that was basically the entire plot in the previous game which is weird#still suffering from the 'plot moves way too fast' issue like in the last two games the metro had been everyones home for Twenty Years#and considered the last bastion of all of humanity. but in exodus we're just. leaving and none of us are too bothered#also in the previous games the air on the surface was super toxic and you were required to use gas masks and carefully conserve air filters#and etc to survive right? guess how it is in exodus. whimper.#turns out the airs perfectly fine to breathe if you just travel out a little ways. like. thats bizarre to me to just drop that entire HUGE#mechanic. yes it technically makes the game way easier for me no i dont like it#last and most insulting back to complaining about miller#as you all know i hate his redesign.. appearance and voice and honestly just the way he acts now hes a different person than the last games#and i dont like it. and the devs doubled down HARD on him hes basically a main character#in the previous games he actually didnt get very much screentime and was mostly just someone i had to work towards meeting with in certain#locations#but now that i kind of cant stand him I CANT ESCAPE HIM#ughhhh. gonna keep playing though just because the point and shooty bits are fun and its visually pleasing#good lord i wrote a lot. look at my game thoughts boy
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Out of context dnd quote #14
He escapes as sad, invisible drool
#dnd#out of context shit#polymorph gone wrong#sometimes you just wanna be sad without nobody to see it#also drool I guess#escapism#the exodus from reality has begun
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Sooooo... how we feelin', folks?
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fever // kita shinsuke
tw ⇢ mutual pining, semi public, massaging, hair pulling, clit play, hand job, pussy job, grinding, no penetration, slight nipple play
wc ⇢ 4.5k
Kita exhaled a measured breath, carefully resting the well-worn volleyball in the ball cart before turning to survey the gym. Practice had concluded for the evening, but the scuffed hardwood floor still radiated a residual warmth reflecting the team's exertions.
One by one, his teammates had trickled out - the athletic club's locker room clearing out in a steady flow of rowdy jokes and towels slung over damp shoulders. The usual nightly exodus that Kita monitored with an accustomed stillness. All except for one person still diligently working off to the side, seemingly oblivious that she'd been left behind.
You.
Kita's eyes instinctively traced the familiar lines of your form as you bent with silent concentration, meticulously rolling up the vinyl court mats with deft motions. The oversized shirttails of Inarizaki's uniform bunched and strained across your shoulderblades with each controlled movement - the vibrant hue only accentuating how your cheeks still glowed faintly flushed from exertion.
Something he couldn't help noticing with each practice as of late. Along with the slight fraying at your ponytail's nape from repeatedly running hands through sweat-dampened strands. Or the shadows deepening beneath your eyes - barely perceptible markers of how heavy your work schedule as team manager had become.
Kita felt an unwitting tightness grip his diaphragm as he watched you tending to the equipment sweep - the final thankless task before being able to escape the gymnasium yourself. He should have been relieved that you exemplified such steadfast dedication to your duties. The sort of disciplined work ethic he strove to emblematize.
Yet lately, an encroaching sense of unease had begun creeping in whenever glimpsing how utterly depleted you seemed. Like a brilliant ember slowly being smothered to ashen burnout despite containing so much vital spark left to share.
Perhaps it was painfully selfish, but Kita couldn't bear the thought of that smoldering spark winking out entirely. Not when it represented one of the sole warmths capable of unraveling his own desperation to always remain rigidly compartmentalized.
With you, he could simply exist - shed of airtight expectations and the crushing weight of obligations. If only for fleeting moments that never felt sufficient to absorb your radiant presence fully.
The subversive thought prompted Kita to impulsively close the distance between you with his trademark eerily-silent footfalls. You didn't register his approach until he folded his tall frame into an easy crouch mere inches away - deft fingers automatically reaching to assist tucking in the mat's final corner.
"K-Kita!" You startled, clearly not expecting him to materialize so abruptly at your side after everyone else had vacated. "You shouldn't have to help with this, I'm-"
"Nearly finished for the evening?" His deep, quietly resonant timbre cut you off - not unkindly. Liquid mercury eyes remained focused on aligning the mat's edge as his elegant hands smoothed and secured it into a tidy roll. "Don't worry, I've been observing how diligently you've attended everything lately."
You opened your mouth to protest or express gratitude - he couldn't be certain which based on the fleeting chaos of micro-expressions flickering across your features. Kita determinedly avoided focusing too intently on your lovely face directly.
The subtle smatterings of flushed exertion dusting your cheekbones and nose were...disarmingly appealing enough without adding to his distraction.
Instead, he pressed on before you could formulate a reply.
"I've been meaning to suggest you join me on a retreat soon." Kita kept his tone was neutral as he began coiling the roll of mat beneath one arm, motioning with his chin that you should take the opposite end. "There are some hot springs out in Yufu that would be perfect for recharging and immersive meditation this time of year."
Rising to his full stature, Kita finally leveled his gaze directly upon you - absorbing the momentary wash of surprise and something deeper, more ruminative flickering across your expression. That familiar spark of warmth rekindling from its embered banked state as your eyes searched his with unspoken consideration.
"Think it over," he prompted softly, imperceptibly leaning in fractionally closer yet still maintaining a disciplined distance. "I imagine a night or two of solitary contemplation could benefit us both greatly."
The effluence of Kita's breath mingled with yours in corporeal plumes as you absorbed his pointed invitation - searching for any hint of ulterior suggestion laced through the polished veneer of his subtle words and movements. As always, he emitted an aura of pristine neutrality and understatement that skirted any tinge of impropriety.
But after sharing so many sidelong gazes, measured silences, and paradoxically-charged stillnesses over years of proximity...you thought you detected the barest kindling of something molten and incandescently profound burning behind his veneer. Something solely meant for your interpretation alone.
Still, you found yourself unable to voice anything beyond a mute nod of acceptance. Allowing the hushed ambiance to lapse back over your dual departures from the gymnasium - bodies and breath intermittent, but bound by currents vastly deeper than physical colocation.
All while Kita hid a barely-perceptible smile, finally allowing vindicated hope to unfurl within his rigorously tempered heart.
You couldn't shake the lingering pull of Kita's words - or the undercurrent of unspoken yearning that seemed to accent his otherwise placid invitation.
An overnight retreat to remote hot springs for "solitary contemplation"? On the surface, it sounded like precisely the sort of austerely philosophical overture one would expect from someone as rigorously self-actualized as Kita Shinsuke. And yet...
You found your focus fracturing at inopportune moments, always drifting back towards dissecting the implications of that loaded pause before he extended the invite. Or the infinitesimal dilation of his liquid mercury eyes while pinning you under that steadily smoldering regard.
Was it projection conjuring phantoms from your own long-repressed desires regarding Kita? Or had you genuinely glimpsed a simmering spark of something heated flaring beneath his meticulously-honed control?
The uncharacteristic lack of certainty dogged your heels through the ensuing days. Early dawn meditation circle followed by corralling rambunctious teammates - then practice regimens, followed by tight laps of individual training all bled into a seamless panorama of duties. The steady, soothing routine only interrupted when Kita unexpectedly rematerialized during quiet pockets in the schedule.
He never overtly revisited the topic, yet his presence often carried the static charge of unfinished business hovering in the air between you. Until one evening following clean-up, you found Kita in one of the secluded ante-rooms clearly waiting for you.
"We haven't spoken much since I extended my invitation," he began without preamble, back to you while sorting equipment racks. "Have you given any thought to joining me in Yufu?"
You hesitated fractionally, still processing his abrupt resurgence of the topic. "I have...though I'm not certain an overnight retreat is advisable given our respective commitments here."
Kita hummed thoughtfully, finally slanting his chiseled profile towards you. "We could arrange coverage easily enough if we stagger our departure and return appropriately."
Pinned beneath his steadily considering gaze, you felt your breath stalling in your chest. As always, Kita projected a facade of crisp professionalism and equanimity. Yet there was an infinitesimal brightness glittering in those steely eyes boring into yours that seemed to make an unspoken entreaty all its own.
"Getting away from this environment - even briefy - can provide incomparable perspective," he continued in that baseline timbre of his roughened with quiet conviction. "Having you along as well would only serve to deepen the immersion and focus..."
Kita trailed off, expression slipping seamlessly back into that practiced vacancy masking depths you'd always longed to plumb. The muscle in his jaw ticked faintly as he averted his eyes - immediately busying his elegant hands with some inane reorganizing of janitorial supplies as if chastising himself for even broaching the subject so ardently.
"At any rate," he muttered, cotton towel whisking across metal handles with percussive strokes that sliced the thickening silence. "Consider it, if you're able to manage the time away from your regular responsibilities here."
The minute shift of his shoulders spoke volumes - Kita already attempting to insulate himself from whatever seedling longing had temporarily unfurled. You found yourself rooted in place, drinking in each precise movement and lilting cadence from your teammate as if reinscribing them all into muscle memory.
You quietly ached witnessing him wrestle his yearning back beneath that impeccable veneer of restraint. As if fearing you'd shy from the vulnerability of peering too unflinchingly into the blazing intensity you knew burned beneath his stillness.
Before Kita could retreat fully behind his customary distant stoicism, you jolted into decisive action.
"Let's go." The words tumbled out on a hushed yet insistent exhalation, stalling his movements entirely. "Even a solitary night or two away could provide useful perspective, as you said."
Molten mercury eyes flared towards you in naked astonishment before Kita regained his composure with a subtle dip of his chin. The slightest softening warmed his aristocratic features and you had to clench your palms against a sudden trembling.
"Very well," he replied, somehow managing to project equanimity despite his rattled stillness. "I'll handle the arrangements and preparations for us both. Perhaps you might contemplate the value of mindful solitude in the interim."
Then Kita slanted you a heavy-lidded look from beneath his lashes - one you felt scorching across every exposed inch of your rapidly overheating skin. There was no mistaking the lush promise and simmering intent blazing behind that stare before he refocused with visible effort.
"It may prove...deeply illuminating for the both of us," Kita murmured in a voice dropping into a register you felt viscerally ribboning up your spine.
You could only give a tremulous nod and fight for steady inhales as he brushed past you with a lingering brush of warm, mint-tinged air. Already feeling imperiled by the thought of "solitary contemplation" with Kita amongst such remotely intimate seclusion.
Not that you retained any willpower left to contemplate refusing. Denial was no longer an option once the spark between you had finally ignited into blazing reality.
The journey to Yufu passed in a reverent kind of silence, occasionally punctuated by Kita offering hushed commentary about the significance of hot spring bathing in Japanese culture. You absorbed the lulling timbre of his voice like a tonic - steadying your thrill-hazed thoughts from spiraling too recklessly.
Because despite maintaining impeccable discretion on its surface, this was unmistakably an intimate occasion. Just the two of you sequestered at an exclusive onsen ryokan tucked into the densely forested mountains. Primed to shed societal pretext entirely for anonymous oversight and ritual indulgence.
You attempted not to dwell overlong on how deliriously tempting the concept felt after so many years orbiting Kita's gravitational pull. Only to have that inexorable tide abruptly draw both your paths into shared seclusion.
Upon arrival, Kita ushered you to separate bathing pavilions with a pointed look and reassurance he would join you once you'd settled into your appointed suite. You moved through the ceremonial disrobings and ablutions in a daze - trying to center yourself in the austere surroundings and reminder of pursuing spiritual clarity.
Yet the rituals only conjured visceral recollections of sharing sidelong glances with Kita across steam-shrouded surfaces. Of his lithe, powerful form materializing from mineral-rich clouds with rivulets trailing down the corded arcs of his back.
You shuddered and submerged yourself fully in the blessedly scalding waters, desperate to purge such profane imagery before he returned to your company. Only emerging once confident your meditative breathing exercises had steadied your thrumming pulse into an outwardly composed state.
When Kita did rejoin you, swathed in the facility's uniform yukata robe, you felt your arousal flare with alarming intensity all over again.
He looked inexplicably, disarmingly beautiful like this. The intricate patterns of his robe accentuated the rugged slashes of his jawline and cheekbones - simultaneously expressing delicacy and intense masculinity with each meticulously unhurried motion. You froze, drinking in each weighted pause and steady sweep of his mercurial gaze taking you in as he settled onto the submerged bench facing you.
"These hot spring waters make me want to open up my thoughts to you," Kita's timbre sliced through the fragile quiet first - sotto yet arresting. "It seems like you have a lot on your mind too."
You swallowed hard, determined not to spiral into incoherence from the intimate double meaning you detected woven through his mild inquiry.
"Lately I've been wondering if my calm outer appearance truly reflects my inner ideals," you murmured, gaze locked onto the elegant flex of Kita's hands smoothing the embroidered lapels over his sternum. "Or if I've just become too closed off."
A flicker of silent understanding passed over Kita's inscrutable features as he absorbed your veiled confession. The water sloshed gently between you as he shifted infinitesimally closer - near enough for his crisply grounding cedar and green tea scent to wreath around you.
"Staying calm on the outside is meant to cultivate inner peace, not be an end goal itself," he replied with that deceptively mild directness you found so innately compelling. "Avoiding the truth out of propriety leads to stagnation, not enlightenment."
His eyes locked weightily onto yours in silent emphasis - a scintillating undercurrent seeming to suffuse the heated waters as your lungs labored for air under such singularly focused intensity.
"I've let some important truths go unspoken for too long," Kita continued in a cadence stripping away several layers of subtext until only rawly naked honesty remained. "Maintaining decorum at the expense of serenity has done me a disservice, and you as well."
You drank in each word, simultaneously intoxicated and floored by the profundity of Kita's confession unfolding with such poised grace. Somehow, he managed to transmute the insulated world of the ryokan's dimly lit bathing chamber into a microcosmic suspended orbit - just the two of you drifting closer and unfurling truths that illuminated fathomless new expanses.
Yet when he leveled his piercing, elemental focus directly onto you next - all pretenses and protective veneers abruptly fell away in his piercing intensity.
"I brought you out here for unforgivably selfish reasons," Kita stated quietly yet with smoldering, ruthless conviction laced through each syllable. "I wanted to be alone with you…to finally confess my true feelings for you without restraint or judgment, even if it crosses boundaries we've danced around."
The naked admission hung between you in a burgeoning swell of heated electricity. You struggled to accurately process the enormity of his pronouncement - much less render coherent response beyond widening eyes and a sharp inhalation.
Kita watched the maelstrom of shock, possibilty, and thoroughly naked yearning play out across your features with rapt absorption. Until finally, the last of his veneers fell away like cresting waves finally succumbing to the inevitability of the tide.
He pivoted from his seated position until planted solidly before you - steely eyes transfixed on drinking in every micro shift of emotion unspooling across your face. Then with maddening unhurried reverence, Kita extended a dripping hand to chart your jaw's contours.
The lightest graze of his fingertips seared your thundering pulse like a brand, dizzying your senses entirely. But Kita didn't relent in his sensual exploration - tracing the sloped curves and hollows of your neck and decolletage with a worshipful sort of absorption.
"I'm tired of denying how much I want to know every inch of you," he confessed in a gravelly rasp drowning in shameless, smoldering yearning. Lips brushed the hollow of your clavicle in a searing half-kiss as you shuddered helplessly. "I've spent too long not allowing myself to feel your body against me."
Callouses dragged along deliriously sensitive planes in his wake, kindling arousal into a molten, all-consuming blaze within the cradle of your increasingly trembling thighs. All pretense of restraint or detached contemplation had thoroughly dissolved - replaced by Kita's absolute immersion into mapping the intimate topography of your mottled blush spreading across exposed flesh.
Your body instinctively leaned into his exploratory touches, silently begging for more sustained contact in the wake of his hushed revelation. Even as your mind whirled, Kita proceeded with hushed focus and purpose - rendering you increasingly pliant putty under the spellbinding magic of his undivided attention.
When his mouth slanted across yours in a searing, openmouthed clash, it felt like the final surrender to unchecked truth. Years of repressed longing and carefully maintained discretion ignited into pure sensual freefall.
Kita groaned harshly, swallowing your ragged gasp as your arcs instinctively strained for impossible closeness. He pressed inexorably tighter - one palm slipping along the jut of your hipbone beneath the concealing waters in a consuming caress before gently turning your body around.
Kita's calloused hands glided over your slick skin, the heated water allowing his fingers to effortlessly explore the curves of your body. He started at your shoulders, firmly kneading the tense muscles there as you melted back against the bath's edge with a soft sigh.
"Relax," he murmured, the rumbling timbre of his voice surrounding you. "Let me take care of you."
You obliged, going pliant under his attentions. His strong hands worked methodically downward, thumbs digging deliciously into the knots of your upper back. Kita's motions were deliberate yet unhurried, as if committing every plane and dip of your flesh to memory through touch alone.
When he reached your lower back, you arched involuntarily, pushing your body more fully into his roaming palms. A soft sound escaped your parted lips at the change of angle, the new tension in your muscles screaming for his expert pressure.
Kita leaned in closer until his broad chest brushed your back, the heat of his skin raising goosebumps along your arms. His deft fingers danced lower, kneading the swell of your hips, the crease of your thighs. Each touch ignited sparks that rapidly stoked into a burning need for more contact, more friction.
"Does that feel good?" Kita's raspy murmur fanned across the nape of your neck, making you shiver. You could only nod, rendered incoherent by the arousal slowly engulfing you.
One hand dipped between your thighs, parting them gently. Your breath hitched as he traced the length of your folds with a single fingertip, drawing an achingly slow line up to your clit. The slightest graze had you keening, hips canting toward his touch.
"I've wanted to touch you for so long," Kita confessed, his other hand sliding up to cup your breast. The rough pad of his thumb rubbed against the stiff peak, eliciting a soft cry from you. "Every time I saw you working so hard, I imagined how I'd take care of you."
"Shin..." You couldn't summon any words beyond his name, the sensations overwhelming your ability to form coherent thoughts. His finger pressed down against your swollen clit, drawing tight circles that had you panting and squirming against him.
Kita's breath ghosted across your throat, the warmth and tickle adding another layer of sensation to the fire he'd started. Your head lolled against his shoulder, exposing the delicate expanse of your neck to him.
He took full advantage, nipping and sucking at the flushed skin until a constellation of red marks bloomed in his wake. You could feel the heat radiating from him, his cock straining against the small of your back, the tension in his muscles signaling his own barely-contained lust.
But Kita remained focused on you, his hand working between your thighs in steady motions. He seemed to read the slightest cues of your body, adjusting the speed and pressure of his strokes until he'd reduced you to a quivering mess.
Every nerve ending felt electrified, pleasure building at the base of your spine, spreading throughout your entire body. You ground shamelessly against his palm, desperate for release. Kita's fingers slid easily along your soaked slit, the friction exactly what you needed to tip you over the edge.
A shudder wracked your frame, legs clamping around his hand as you came with a wordless cry. Pleasure crashed through you, white-hot and all-consuming. Distantly, you heard Kita groan, felt the hardness of his cock twitching against you, but it all seemed secondary to the overwhelming euphoria gripping you.
Finally, the aftershocks subsided, leaving you feeling sated and boneless. Kita's touch lingered, teasing lightly along your overly-sensitive flesh, his mouth trailing tender kisses along the slope of your neck.
You slumped further against his chest, breathing heavily. After a moment, Kita pulled his hand away, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him. You could feel his erection digging into your back, but he made no move to relieve himself, instead simply holding you close.
The realization that he'd brought you out here specifically to pleasure you sent a rush of affection coursing through you. You twisted around until you were facing him, taking in his flushed cheeks and dilated pupils.
"Thank you," you whispered, leaning in to capture his lips in a kiss. He tasted faintly sweet, the mineral tang of the hot springs still lingering. Kita met your movements eagerly, his hands skimming up and down your back.
You let the kiss linger, losing yourself in the slide of his mouth against yours. His touch was unhurried, almost lazy, like he had all the time in the world to explore your lips, your tongue, the sensitive underside of your jaw.
A quiet whimper escaped you as his fingers brushed the underside of your breasts. Your own hands wandered over the broad expanse of his chest, tracing the firm contours of his pectorals and abdomen. The way his muscles tensed and flexed beneath your fingertips was addictive, and you found yourself wanting to touch every inch of his sculpted body.
Finally, you broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. His irises were nearly swallowed by his pupils, dark with lust.
You felt a renewed stirring of arousal at the thought of bringing him pleasure, of watching him fall apart beneath you.
"I want to touch you," you breathed, letting your fingers drift lower, ghosting across the defined lines of his pelvic bone. Kita's gaze burned into yours, his breathing coming heavier.
"You don't have to," he murmured, even as his cock twitched at the prospect. You grinned, palming the thick length of him, relishing his sharp intake of breath.
"But I want to," you replied, squeezing his shaft lightly. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, jaw clenched as he fought to regain control. The sight of him losing his composure, of knowing that you were the cause, sent a rush of power surging through you.
Kita opened his mouth, no doubt to argue, but you cut him off with another squeeze. He bit his lip, hips bucking into your touch. You grinned, running your thumb over the sensitive head of his cock.
"Lie back," you ordered, and he obeyed, sinking onto the stone ledge at the edge of the bath. You shifted positions, straddling his legs and bracing yourself against his muscular thighs.
His eyes locked onto yours as you began stroking his length, slow and firm. He groaned, eyelids fluttering, a faint blush spreading across his high cheekbones. The sight of him laid out before you, completely vulnerable, sent another pulse of arousal through you.
You kept the rhythm steady, gauging his reactions and adjusting accordingly. Every twitch, every soft moan, had you aching for more. But you wanted to draw this out, to savor the moment.
His head dropped back against the stone, eyes closing as his hips began to rock into your motions. His breaths came in ragged pants, muscles tensing and releasing. You could tell he was getting close, could feel his cock swelling in your hand.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, and his hands grasped your wrists, stilling your movements.
"Wait," he gasped, chest heaving. You paused, watching his expression intently. After a moment, he loosened his grip, guiding your hands off him and settling them on his stomach instead.
"Not like this," he murmured, sitting up and shifting you onto his lap, your thighs splayed wide around his hips. His cock pressed against your inner thigh, and you ached to sink onto him, to feel him fill you completely.
But he simply held you, gazing at you with an expression of awe and adoration. The intensity of his stare, the reverence in his touch, was intoxicating. Your breath hitched, and you leaned forward, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.
Kita wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. His lips parted, allowing your tongue to slip inside and deepen the kiss. You moaned, rocking your hips against him, reveling in the friction.
You felt his hands slide down to your ass, pulling you more firmly against him. He guided the movement, thrusting against you, his cock sliding along your soaked folds. Each pass sent a shockwave of pleasure through you, and you found yourself clinging to him, grinding down on his shaft.
He buried his face in your neck, breath hot against your skin. You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging lightly. His grip on your hips tightened, and you felt his cock twitch.
"Do that again," he groaned, voice muffled by your neck. You obliged, yanking his head back and exposing the column of his throat. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, and you couldn't resist dragging your tongue along his pulse point.
His hips jerked, and he let out a guttural moan, low and deep. The sound went straight to your core, and you found yourself grinding harder, chasing your release. Kita's breathing was ragged, his cock throbbing between your legs.
You could tell he was close, could feel him teetering on the edge. His fingers dug into your hips, holding you steady as he thrust against you. You raked your nails down his back, earning a sharp gasp from him.
The tension coiling within you was unbearable, and you knew it wouldn't take much more to send you over the edge. As if sensing this, Kita's fingers found your nipples, pinching hard. You cried out, arching into him, your orgasm ripping through you.
Kita followed shortly after, his cock pulsing as he came with a hoarse cry. His grip on you loosened, his movements slowing. He panted, pressing his forehead to yours. You cupped his cheek, running your thumb along his cheekbone.
You felt utterly boneless, spent. But there was a warmth spreading through you, a sense of contentment that was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. Kita looked utterly blissed out, his eyes half-lidded, his expression relaxed.
You brushed a lock of damp hair off his forehead, admiring his profile. He cracked one eye open, gazing at you with affection.
"Are you ready for bed?" he asked softly, his thumb rubbing circles on your hip. You nodded, and he smiled, placing a chaste kiss on your lips before lifting you off his lap and standing.
You let him lead you from the baths, exhaustion beginning to creep in. As he helped you dress, you wondered if the night was truly over. The thought of falling asleep next to him was strangely comforting.
You climbed into bed, watching as he shed his robe and settled beside you. The warmth of his body was soothing, and you nestled closer, draping an arm across his waist. He sighed, pulling you against him.
You lay like that for some time, just listening to the sound of his breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek. Finally, sleep claimed you, and you drifted off into the deepest slumber you'd had in months.
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