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Education vs Childhood – Indian Version – My Version

If you are here looking to find the right school for your young kid in India, you clicked on the wrong link. I am not here to help you make you a choice. I wish I can help you make a wise decision. I know we all want our kids to succeed on life. I know we all want to see our kids making an impact on the generations to come. School is where it all starts, so it is very important to make the right choice for your kid. But here are some key points that parents in the current generation are missing today

·        Kids are human beings

·        Childhood is a gift and can only be enjoyed once in a lifetime

·        Education is not academics. Academics is just one of the millions of entities in education

·        Education is not the real power. It is just one of the major sources that empowers an individual

·        First class grades are not the only way to success

·        Knowledge is not a tool, it’s a resource

·        If a good teacher is punishing your kid to correct him. They are doing the right thing. Stop accusing them for being rude (as long as the act remains human and not out of frustration)

·        Not all teachers are brilliant. Not all schools are the best

·        A rigorous schedule does not make a school the best

·        Knowledge cannot be bought for or forced on an individual

My story

              Born to illiterate but morally and logically correct parents. A born enthusiastic. A kid that always wanted to open and repair toys rather than playing with them. A kid that made his share of mistakes at every stage of his life and in every aspect possible. A kid that learnt things the hard way. A kid that lost the best time of his life. A kid that has fallen for the brutal commercial education system in India

Went to a Christian Missionary school. Used to those half day schools during the months of Jan, Feb and March, lot of holidays, 5 working days in a week, 90+ days of summer holidays, 20+ days of Christmas, New Year and Pongal holidays. We had PT class, play hours and campus cleaning hours. I was doing well there in both academics and my childhood until disaster struck. The day that changed my life once for all. My mechanic dad was told about this great school, which charges high tuition, rigorous schedule and supposedly change the future of his kid. And the school succeeded. Probably not the way that my poor dad expected

·        At an age of 11, I had to wake up at 5AM in the morning, attend a tuition session, catch the school bus at 7AM and came back home very early. As early as 9.45PM. I went to this great school which my dad can barely afford at the time. I got academics at this so called best school at the cost of my sisters, who went to a corner school, which charged almost 100 times less tuition than the one that I attended.

·        This new school never had a PT class. In fact, no other class but academics for all, with an exemption of Music and Folk dance for less than 1% of school strength. We had a play hour between 4-5PM every day. And the lovely teachers would let us out at 4.10PM and punish us if we are a minute late after 5PM. That’s the punctuality that I was taught as a kid and we all know how punctual we Indians are. Here is a co-ed school with totally isolated environments for male and female kids, not known and invisible to outside world. At 28+, I still struggle to make female friends. I am left with a gender gap, slowly trying to accept it over the years

·        Then I went for 11th and 12th grades at a different institution, after fighting with my parents not to continue with the same institution as my school which offers everything, all the way to doctoral degrees. This new institution was no different. Same amount of physical and mental torture to an extent where I have considered either running away from all this or even committing suicide. I am glad I made it through. My parents never knew what I had been through, because kids never express such things. I did not want to look like a loser.

·        Then I went to pursue my bachelor’s which almost bankrupt my family. Things are different here, yet I dint get to make the most important decisions. Here we have the so called accredited and prestigious institutions which have predefined curriculums. We have elective courses in our final two semesters and guess who selects those. I had professors who many a times threatened me and discouraged me. These are the individuals who assumed power, rather than supporting and helping me. There isn’t a single semester that did not pay condonation fee (fee to attend end exam, without meeting the required attendance to classes). I still managed to complete my degree in first class. I failed one lab exam in my entire bachelor’s, deliberately planned by the staff as I fought with one of the professors the previous semester

·        I was always prepared to face the exams, never for my future. I was always taught to remember the concept, rather than understand it logically. I was always scared of my teachers and professors. I scored first class in all my academics but failed a great deal on competitive exams which needed logical thinking. Took me years to work myself through the system

·        After my bachelor’s, after meeting all the criteria to get a provisional degree it took me over a week and multiple trips around my principal’s office to get his approval signature on my petition. During time, which he was busy selling management quota seats for next batch. Parents like you trying to buy Knowledge for their child

Did my schools and teachers succeeded in fulfilling my parent’s dreams?

              They barely touched the areas of success. I give no credit to my schools/system for what I have today. I do credit a handful of teachers who influenced me. I remember the conversations I had with my Hindi teacher (who by the way was hated by 90% of the students at the time) during the final months of my Tenth grade on how much I hated my school and the system that was put around me. One thing that my school taught me was how to go through mental torture and pain. But as a human being I lost my childhood. I am not a singer, dancer, artist, writer, orator, social activist or anything (forget about being good at those). My friends those who are good at any of those, I bet they did not learn at my school nor they were supported in that area by these institutions. Today I play cricket and I love it. I remember how much I missed that during my childhood. Now I try to give it the top priority in my life and life is not the same. I had the opportunity and were taken away from me at an age where I cannot question.

My opinion

              Now I am a self-sustaining individual making decent living. Doing something that I love on a daily basis. Given a chance I will try to convince my parents to change some of the decisions they took, but I don’t blame them as they never been through this themselves. I did not mention the name of my school or a teacher because I am not trying to blame a single institution or individual for my failure. It’s the system.

·        Teaching is not a profession. It is a responsibility. Indian government should start licensing teachers and only licensed individuals should be teachers and professors. Licenses should be provided to individuals that qualify both mentally and professionally.

·        Relation between teacher and student should be out of respect, not out of fear

·        Schools should provide education, not academics

·        Teach your kid to be a better human being, not a clever one

·        Make sure your kid spends time on books other than that of academics

·        Train your kids on decision making and logical thinking

·        Let them make their choices. Your job is to guide them and support them not to force them

·        Punish your kids for their mistakes. Every mistake should teach them a lesson. More importantly let them fail on simple things

I met my school principal a few years ago, who started her own institution lately. I took my sister’s daughter alongside me, who at the time was 3.5 years old. She asked me to talk to my sister and convince her to admit my niece in that school. I never spoke to my sister. I did not want my niece to go through what I have been through. I respect my principal by all means and that is the reason I still take time to visit her once in a while. She is a wonderful lady. But she is not the greatest teacher to me as she is part of the same system.

Do not ruin your kid’s childhood in the race to get them educated at the esteemed institutions.

       If you are one my school mate or colleague reading this article, please do not get offended. You may have a different opinion. But make sure your kid does not go through what I have been through. It is painful for any individual. Also, my sincere apologies, if I have offended you any means.

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