#Eril-Fane

[honeyjynxxed]

What Choice but Simple Duty?

Korako was there, kneeling in the entrance to the nursery. On her shoulder the white, spectral bird that haunted the streets of...His mouth swallowed around the taste of ash at even the thought of his city's false name. His hands were covered in blood, it streaked across his chest and his face in terrible splashes. Where his sword hung in his hands it dripped to the floor painfully loud amidst the silence. The Citadel had never been this quiet before. Always in some corner there was sound and life and existence.

Now the blue of it was stained red in too many places to count. Viscera and blood from not just the gods but those too who's minds had been too broken to allow to live. They who cried at the discovery of the bodies instead of cheered, they who turned on them with threats and fear and grief. In his chest Eril-Fane felt that same grief try to stir time and time again but his fury kept cutting it back each time. He couldn't afford to let a single thought stray him from his task. He raised his sword, stolen from the collection of the god king, prepared to strike the Goddess of Secrets down when she spoke, her eyes meeting his.

"The children-" She appeared to cut herself off, voice thick with her own unshed tears. "Their talents-" A man makes painful choices.

Eril-Fane's blade swung true and her head rolled into her own pleading and outstretched hands before her body slumped over. When he stepped over her body into the nursery he saw two women, nursemaids, already dead and couldn't decide if Korako had done this or not. She'd not had any blood on her hands or her clothes but that didn't mean she wasn't capable. Already several of the chil- godspawn he corrected himself lay dead in their cots. Now was the time to finish them off.

For Azareen, his beauty, what choice but simple duty? These thoughts consumed his mind but they were not enough to drown out the screams of the terrified and dying children around him. He was not the only one dirtying his hands though. They all had a past to bury in this room.

[theoppositequeens]

Drabble

Fandom: Strange the Dreamer

Pairing: Azareen/Eril-Fane

Rating: T

Warnings: implied/referenced non-con

Read on AO3 here

i didn't love to lose (somebody like you)

Azareen puts her foot down when Eril-Fane starts talking about releasing her from their marriage vows.

The first time, she slaps him. "How dare you?" She hisses, and that is the end of that conversation.

"No," she says, the second time, and turns on her heel.

"You don't get to run before you talk to me," she says the third time. "I know we're both traumatized, and we're not making any big life choices now."

The fourth time, they argue like cats and dogs. Azareen knows nothing of what his last three years have been like, except what she's seen herself, because he won't say a word. "You're a coward," she throws at him. She pulls out all the cards she knows will hurt, just in case they might break through to him. "Your mother cried herself to sleep for years, I cried myself to sleep for years, and now you won't comfort us or accept our comfort. You tell the others not to be ashamed of what was done to them, and then you blame yourself for the same thing. Hypocrite!"

The fifth time Azareen kisses him until he shuts up. Literally just presses her mouth against his. He doesn't struggle, doesn't seem to know how to react.

He doesn't try a sixth time.

Instead, he sits down next to her on a dusty bench on a quiet morning. He presses closer than he has since Skathis took him to the citadel, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. He stares into the wall and his voice is wooden, but he talks.

Azareen gives him her silence, her time. He talks until he is hoarse and then he talks some more. He talks for three whole years worth of horror. And when he is done he hangs his head, and she's never seen him so defeated. He is proud, her husband, and strong and steady and larger than life. Azareen hates Isagol for bringing him so low. Hates all of the gods for their cruelty.

Azareen doesn't say anything. She simply rests her head on his shoulder, letting him carry all of her weight, trusts him with it. Lets him feel like he's doing something for her.

That is when he confesses that he doesn't trust himself any more. To tell right from wrong. Hate from love.

"I trust you with my heart," Azareen says, and that is that.

[exhausted-electron]

"Blood was flowing from the holes in their armor, pumping out in spurts and mingling between them, catching and pooling where they pressed together. Azareen thrust her hands against Eril-Fane’s chest to try to keep his blood inside him, as though she didn’t notice her own was escaping."

— Laini Taylor, The muse of nightmares

[squishy-lombax]

Book reviews from my book club

I host a book club that has unfortunately been lacking in active members. If you're interested in joining, please let me know. We are based on Discord. Warning: I've very passionate about the book club and will get on your case if I don't hear from you regularly. If any of the books listed here that we've read previously interest you, our book club may too! 18+ only. I have relatives in the book club, so I'll kick you if you're being weird. Books are in order of how much I enjoyed them! Disclaimer: These, of course, are just my opinions based on my tastes. (formatted for PC, not app)

Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Unlike a lot of other high-fantasy books, this one isn't so overly complicated you can still enjoy it. The characters are all very realistic and lovable! This book dealt with a few very heavy topics, however, none of the situations presented were black and white. Especially with a character named Eril-Fane; he was handled so well in my opinion. Even the so-called villain of the story I was able to sympathize with and couldn't decide if I wanted her redeemed or dead. The the description doesn't do the book justice but I can't say much without spoilers. It's a LOT more interesting than it sounds, I promise!

Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This book has incredible writing, world-building, characters, and interactions. It felt like something that could actually happen (or may be happening right now depending on who you ask). This book has wonderful descriptions and I went through the whole book confidant in how the alien looked in my mind. Any confusion didn't feel frustrating, like in a "I'm just a dumb human" type of way. The main character felt very relatable, and the author wasn't afraid to make her humanly-gross at times. Which I appreciate. I also appreciate the huge emphasis on understanding, communication, and consent present in this book. Things that feel like they should be common in most relationship based stories, but unfortunately, are not.

Lockwood and Co. The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The characters were relatable and funny, and the environments were described excellently! I was invested in the story from chapter one and remained invested to the very end! I especially loved the descriptions of the ghosts and how they were handled. Just the right amount of terror and mystery surrounds them. In general, I usually hate first-person books; but this one strangely did not bother me. Truly a talented writer! I don't know how this book is considered a children's book, though, because even adult-me found myself sitting on the edge of my seat with the sheer thrill and terror this book invoked!

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sword of Summer by Rick Riordan ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This book is based on Norse mythology and it did a wonderful job at explaining this crazy and cooky mythos as coherently as possible. I think if you're interested in Norse mythology (or are a kid learning history) this book is a must-read. The whole story read like a spirited DnD campaign. It was funny, it was camp, and it was lively! I actually laughed out loud a couple times during this book, or had to bury my face envisioning certain scenarios. Representation is abundant with the main character being pan-sexual, the leading lady is Muslim, the first side character is a man that is a fashion designer, and the other is a disabled character (deaf and uses ASL). None of these characters fall into the terrible cliché of the "third wheel, dumb, friend" and all representation featured feels organic and natural.

Waking the Merrow by Heather Rigney ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I worried this would end up just being a trashy romance. I'm so happy to say it was not! It had enough sexy elements to remind you that we're dealing with sirens but it was far above fanfiction equality. I enjoyed the main character because there is something refreshing about having a character be so fundamentally flawed and yet you can still tell she is a good person and doing her best. All the characters were arguably unlikable and yet I liked all of them! I find it far more impressive to write a character in this way. The merrow themselves had great descriptions of their appearance and savagery. Yet they also appear to have a depth and complexity hinted throughout that I'm sure is fully explored in the later books.

Silver Spoon by Hiromu Arakawa ⭐⭐⭐⭐ This manga was extremely cute and down to earth. All the characters felt real and alive, going through struggles that may be very personal to the reader. I also learned quite a bit about farming. I was invested in the relationship between Yuugo and Aki and couldn't wait for them to just hold hands. I also enjoyed the realistic take on the relationship with Yuugo and his father. There is no big forgiveness moment and them continuing to have a strained relationship is something that sometimes happens. The characters and morals I feel can connect to many people. Although, this style of story isn't for everyone.

The Guardians: Nicholas St. North and the Battle of the Nightmare King by William Joyce & Laura Geringer ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I was introduced to this series through the movie, Rise of the Guardians. Although this book is a very simple read, I still really enjoy it. It's filled with so much imagination, heart, and gorgeous illustrations. Plus I always love a reinterpretation of childhood characters. I can actually picture myself reading my future kids these books at bedtime!

The Naked Don't Fear The Water by Matthieu Aikins ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I struggle to write reviews for things based on actual events. I enjoyed this book, which surprised me because books that recount actual events have a terrible habit of being boring to me. However, I rather enjoyed the way Matthieu wrote. It was just the right amount of storytelling while also staying focused on the actual events transpiring. This book does a wonderful job of educating its readers while keeping them engaged in a story.

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō by Hitoshi Ashinano ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A lovely and relaxing read that does a wonderful job at romanticizing the little things in life. I can definitely see Studio Ghibli making a movie based off this story; they would do a fantastic job with this concept! I especially loved Alpha! (she's autistic and you can't change my mind!) I'm very surprised that this manga is in the Seinen genre because it feels more like it was written for cottage-core lesbians then adult men. One issue is that this story introduced a lot of interesting world-building lore that I was super excited to learn more about. However, sadly, it doesn't dive into any of these concepts more; they are simply brought up and rarely mentioned again.

Room by Emma Donoghue ⭐⭐⭐ The book is very interesting and covers topics I like. However, there is a surprising amount of nothing happening. The five-year-old point of view was hard to get used it, then was okay, but became grating again as the story dragged on. However, after the second half I wasn't sure what the goal of the plot was anymore. The story kind of drags with basic day-to-day things, and having it be from a five-year-old's point of view was no longer interesting to me. I feel like it would have been better if the point of views changed at the half way point to the mother's.

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman ⭐⭐⭐ (I read the book before watching the TV show) I found the book rather interesting in concept and I enjoyed the characters. Unfortunately, I personally have struggles with reading and thus the way this book is worded made it difficult for me. I felt there were far too many main characters to get invested in anyone, and just a general lot of nothing happening in the story. It always seemed like something was gonna happen, and thus kept my attention but it never really did, and thus left me feeling disappointed. There were plenty of funny moments but unfortunately, they just didn't make me laugh out loud at all. If you're going to read this book, do so as an audio book!

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas ⭐⭐ This book was a disappointment. I loved the darker atmosphere with the murder mystery going on. I also loved the fluffy romance between Peter and Wendy. However, unfortunately, Wendy was dull as a protagonist, spending almost the whole book having things happen to her, rather than doing things herself. I do have a serious Anxiety Disorder but unfortunately, being anxious and sad all the time doesn't make for a very interesting character. The pacing was PAINFULLY slow! The direction I thought the book was going in was WAY more interesting than what actually ended up happening. Not to mention the characters didn't discover anything themselves, instead always having it explained to them in exposition dumps. It's a bad fanfiction quality book.

[brightbeautifulthings]

He looked him right in the eyes and saw a man who was great and good and human, who had done extraordinary things and terrible things and been broken and reassembled as a shell, only then to do the bravest thing of all: He had kept on living, though there were easier paths to take.

Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer

[ahornsirius]

Do you still think about Thyon Nero falling asleep with Miracles for Breakfast each night while telling himself that his reseach is entirely rational or are you normal?

[rayreviews]

And so Grief and Shame abided in adjoining rooms with the door shut between them, holding their pain in their arms instead of each other.

Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer

[thyon-nero]

your honor I love them

[imagine-lilareads]

STRANGE THE DREAMER, SPOILERS part 4!!

[theoppositequeens]

it's the wrong kind of place (to be thinking of you)

A New Year's present in case there's any other Azareen/Eril-Fane fans out there!

It was too raw to talk about, Eril-Fane thought. He had not said a word about his three years in the Citadel to anyone, besides the absolute necessary. Shame and guilt and grief and a twisted network of emotions, tangled like vines in his chest, kept him quiet. He’d committed crimes he was unable to voice out loud. He’d slit the throat of a goddess he had been sure that he loved. He was still sure a part of him did, even if he logically knew she hadn’t earned or deserved that love. He’d broken so many of his principles under her thrall. He’d broken his marriage vows. And then he had killed– It did not bear thinking of.

Read on AO3 here. Please beware of the warnings and tags.

[mmreadsbooks]

Muse of Nightmares (Strange the Dreamer #2), Laini Taylor

4/5 stars

This book answered so many questions and weaved Taylor’s multi-verse together oh so very well.

(So many adorable mentions of her Daughter of Smoke and Bone series!)

Lazlo and Sarai are truly in it. At the end of the first novel, they’re in a truly how-will-they-possibly-get-out-of-this predicament.

I also truly loved Nova’s story, as well as learning more of Eril-Fane’s. What I love about this series is how gray/morally ambiguous it is. You understand characters’ actions, which means you can’t necessarily hate them. And sometimes I don’t find myself rooting for who I’m supposed to.

The drama and adventure and edge-of-your-seat action never stops and never feels inorganic. Taylor is truly a master of her craft, and her detail and imagery skills are off the charts.

Another great audiobook, as well! Definitely recommend this duology. Hopefully, there’s more page time in the future for these characters, this world and this multi-verse!

[otherworldsivelivedin]

Could one reach back in time and expect them to be as merciful as it was possible to be fifteen years later with a mind and body unviolated by gods?

- 378, Strange The Dreamer

The underlying real life comparisons that can be made to this line makes it one of my favourites from the whole book

[blushiya]

Why is this funny 😂?

[brightbeautifulthings]

One looked at him and thought, Here is a great man, and also a good one, though few men are ever both.

Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer

[dextervexter]

Eril Fane more like I’m In Pain haha please let my dad rest

[rayreviews]

"We are all children in the dark, here in Weep."

Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer