#Eric will forever be in our hearts

[levelzeo]

Some tags from @wizardchicken i feel are worth being seen.

[ocularmacdown]

i love you south park pets i wish you were still real </3

entirely self indulgent, i just really wanted to draw the kids with their pets cuz ! why not !! genuinely miss when the sp kids did normal things like muck around with their siblings or interact with their pets..,. made them so much more human and childlike imo.

[ericcarrsworshipper]

1980/1991

The easiest hello is the hardest goodbye.

The day I discovered Eric Carr was the day I started to truly be happy. His dedication to music makes my days a little brighter by the minute. Call it stupid. Call it sappy. Call it lies, even. I know my truth and it lies with him.

[widow-tarot]

MINI PAC READING: What Would They Tell You If They Could? (Romance)

GROUPS: 1 - 2 - 3 4 - 5 - 6

You can always tip me! - paypal.me/sadwidow

If you want to support me, please reblog!

Instruction: Think about your person while choosing a group. Do not use more than 1 group for one person. Just to remind you, this is only for entertainment purposes.

If you don't feel drawn to any group, then this reading is not for you.

GROUP 1

Cards: Ace of Wands, Knight of Wands rx, Wheel of Fortune rx, I Like You, Girl Talk rx, Pond, Archangel Metatron.

I like you. I know it's straightforward, but I cannot say it in any other way that's more meaningful or more direct. It might not sound meaningful but it is to me (I hope it is to you too). I feel there is a spiritual connection between us and it seems no matter what, we keep coming back to each other. Our connection is like a pond; can be insignificant to others but to us, it holds so much life and secrets but it can easily be destroyed if not cultivated. We are so hot and cold; we like each other, then we hate each other over something trivial (we both don't know what exactly annoyed us). I want to move towards you but things are holding me back. There's so much I want to do and say but I'm standing still. I know we will truly come together someday. No one knows about it because I don't share those feelings with friends. It seems too private and sacred.

SONGS:

Eric by Mitski ("Take off my clothes and watch me move; You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me; But how long, how long can we play this way?; I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you"

Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey ("Ours a love I held tightly; Feeling the rapture grow; Like a flame burning brightly; But when she left; Gone was the glow")

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You, Baby by Cigarettes After Sex ("Whispered something in your ear; It was a perverted thing to say; But I said it anyway; Made you smile and look away; Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby; As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine")

GROUP 2

Cards: 9 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, Noose rx, Mushrooms, The Snake, Hammer rx, Seraphim Seraphisa rx.

You will forever be in my heart and mind, but we can never be together in the way we want. There are way too many blockages and I do think we are not fit to be in a relationship. I am in a committed relationship (or you are) and I do not wish to leave her for I love her. Maybe I am a coward, but I am a practical and cautious one. I will not take reckless actions just to wake up one day and regret it. I think what we have is a fantasy, pleasant make-believe, daydreaming. However, I don't want you gone because you're an important person to me. I wish you happiness but I can't follow you.

SONGS:

Lonesome Love by Mitski ("I call you, to see you again; So I can win, and this can finally end")

Blue Banisters by Lana Del Rey ("She said, "You can't be a muse and be happy, too; You can't blacken the pages with Russian poetry and be happy"; And that scared me; 'Cause I met a man who said he'd come back every May;Just to help me if I'd paint; Now when weather turns to May; All my sisters come to paint")

Flash by Cigarettes After Sex ("I'm a flash; You were blinded by the love I had; I'm a flash; The light could only get in through the cracks")

GROUP 3

Cards: The Hierophant rx, 8 of Wands, The Devil, 10 of Swords rx, Wildflowers, Mirror, Keys on a Ring, Archangel Raphael.

You are the temptation, the chaos in my life, the wildflowers that can still be growing but can also be already taken by someone else while I wasn't looking. You're untouchable, unable to be caught, translucent. One minute you're here only to leave seconds later just to come back and stay for a long time. You're unpredictable, a sin worth sinning for. But I hate to be alone and you make me sad. I love to see you but I hate myself when you leave. I don't know if you have any feelings for me; is it something serious or is it just casual and convenient? I can't do this anymore, I'm trapped and I feel miserable. I wish I could tell you to stay away, to abandon me, to never come back. It would be easier for me to move on then but I am a fool for you. I wish I was strong enough to talk things through but I'd rather have some of you than none of you. Then again, being with you hurts me so what should I do?

SONGS:

Should've Been Me by Mitski ("Relive all the ways you still want me; I haven't given you what you need; You wanted me but couldn't reach me; I'm sorry it should've been me"

Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey ("I will love you till the end of time; I would wait a million years; Promise you'll remember that you're mine; Baby, can you see through the tears?; You went out every night; And, baby, that's alright; But when you walked out that door; A piece of me died")

Ambien Slide by Cigarettes After Sex ("Take my love with some pretend; You said you couldn't help it; Had everything that you wanted; When my love was something yours; But now you're feeling helpless")

GROUP 4

Cards: Death, Page of Pentacles rx, The Chariot rx, Archangel Sammael, Eileen Chang rx, Boat rx, Engagement Ring rx.

I don't want to try to fix this thing between us anymore, it's a fool's errand. We tried and it didn't work, it's time to move on to something else because we are just wasting our time and I'm exhausted. Let me go. Let me leave, peacefully. I don't want to fight but I'm frustrated. I think we tried to escape the inevitable but at the end of the road, we cannot pretend any longer. Relieve me of this burden and don't resent me.

SONGS:

Working For The Knife by Mitski ("I always thought the choice was mine; And I was right, but I just chose wrong")

Bel Air by Lana Del Rey ("Gargoyles standing at the front of your gate; Trying to tell me to wait; But I can't wait to see you; So I run, like I'm mad, to heaven's door; I don't wanna be bad; I won't cheat you no more")

Tejano Blue by Cigarettes After Sex ("We wanted to fuck with real love; Wanted it sweet, so pure and warm; And when you say you want it all, I know you want it all; Baby, take it all from me; I always will make it feel like you were the last one; So get in the waves like it was the first time")

GROUP 5

Cards: The Star rx, 7 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords rx, Glove rx, The Phoenix, Paradise rx, Archangel Haniel.

I wish we could start anew, without any bitter history between us that holds us back and clouds our judgment. We cannot fully be together while all these thoughts are troubling us, making us suspicious of each other and insecure. I know we both lost hope for this connection, yet we are still going and proceeding with it in any way we can. We don't want this to be over but we need to find a solution. I want you in my life and I'm willing to put work into it. Are you? Someone needs to make the first step though and it's the most difficult thing to do. We cannot stay still for much longer though. We communicate telepathically but we also have to communicate in real life.

SONGS:

First Love/Late Spring by Mitski ("Please hurry leave me; I can't breathe; Please don't say you love me; One word from you and I would; Jump off of this ledge I'm on; Tell me "don't" so I can crawl back in")

Video Games by Lana Del Rey ("It's you, it's you, it's all for you; Everything I do; I tell you all the time; Heaven is a place on earth with you; Tell me all the things you wanna do; It's better than I ever even knew; They say that the world was built for two; Only worth living if somebody is loving you")

Goodbye Mr Blue by Father John Misty (" But maybe if he'd gone sooner; Could've brought us back together last June; When the last time was our last time; If only then I knew; The last time was our last time; Would've told you that the last time comes too soon")

GROUP 6

Cards: Page of Swords rx, 9 of Cups rx, 4 of Swords, Sappho, Archangel Chamuel, Cupid's Arrow rx, Separation rx.

Do you love me? You say you do why does your love cause so much pain? Why am I in agony instead of being elated and happy? Is this how you show your love? I feel neglected and manipulated. I feel ignored and mocked. Am I your partner or your pet? Do you even care what I want? Do you care what I have to say? You treat me as a child as if I cannot think or decide for myself. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think so lowly of me? When you're not here, I don't miss you and my mind is at ease. I lost all hope for anything to change. It hurts even more because I love you, but your love is weird and dysfunctional. I feel trapped. I even stopped speaking my mind because it was met with ridicule and anger.

SONGS:

Wife by Mitski ("For if I am not yours, what am I?; I daydream I'd give one a name of my own; For even I am on loan; For even mine is unknown; So let me go towards the morning star; With hope it won't disappear;)

Carmen by Lana Del Rey ("Baby's all dressed up, with nowhere to go; That's the little story of the girl you know; Relyin' on the kindness of strangers; Darlin', darlin', doesn't have a problem; Lyin' to herself, 'cause her liquor's top shelf; It's alarmin', honestly, how charmin' she can be; Foolin' everyone, tellin' 'em she's havin' fun")

Hot by Cigarettes After Sex ("Is it all in my head? 'Cause I keep getting scared; That I'll always be lost forever; But I don't give a shit if I'm too delicate; When you hold me, it's always better")

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[onepointsixkm]

angel down

Summary: You've seen his eyes somewhere before. A dream. A memory. As he takes your hand in his, your heart soars. It breaks. You think of forever. You know that your love is on a timer.

featuring: CL16 x fem!reader

notes: based on the short story story of your life by ted chiang and its 2016 film adaptation, arrival by denis villeneuve (director) and eric heisserer (screenwriter). i'm not sure if i would classify it as angst, since there's happiness in between, but i think the majority of it is angst.

word count: 6,577

“If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?”

There’s a child. A little boy with bright blue eyes and a smile that you would go to war to protect. He reaches up to you and you reach down, maternal love wrapping around your heart as you hold the boy close to your chest, laughing along with him.

There’s a man. He has the same bright blue eyes as the child. He looks at you with a soft smile, murmuring words of love as he rests his face in your neck. You can feel him kissing your skin, and you manage a soft giggle as you turn to look at him. He’s staring at you with so many emotions swirling in his eyes, and you feel an overwhelming love in your heart. It’s a different love from the love you feel for the child, but just as powerful, all the same.

And then the world shifts.

The man is pacing with tears in his eyes. The room is dark. The child is nowhere to be found.

He turns to face you, sniffling. “You thought I wouldn’t find out? Were you intending on hiding this from me our entire lives?” he demands, clearly choking back sobs. Words fail you as you open and close your mouth, unable to say anything. He stares at you incredulously. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

You’re lost for words. You don’t know what you were hiding, let alone how to make things better. All you know is that you want to bridge the gap between you and this man, but you can’t. You can’t fix whatever has broken.

All you can do is sit in silence, only able to watch as he falls to his knees, his wretched sobs echoing through the dark room.

And then, you wake up.

You were a college student, dragged to the Formula 1 race down in Texas with your friends. “C’mon, don’t be a killjoy,” they’d begged when you protested. “It’ll be good for you, get out of the dorm for once!”

You knew they were right. You’d been holed up in your tiny dorm room for months, ever since your boyfriend had broken up with you. He’d claimed you were too stiff, too unemotional. Too hard for him to read, and just not what he wanted out of his college girlfriend. You had quietly accepted it, despite your heart breaking as you hugged him goodbye and watched him leave you in that campus café.

“Fine,” you’d relented, unable to resist their pleading faces. “But it’s your problem if I’m not a fun person to be around.”

And so, as you sat in the grandstands, watching as the cars that looked like rockets sped past you, you sipped on your overpriced drink. You eyed your friends as they cheered, each of them wearing a different jersey.

You, however, are not wearing any team merch, and you feel somewhat out of place as you follow your friends. They’re all laughing and buzzing, talking about the qualifying results and the drivers. You’re barely listening as you follow closely behind them, amused by their chatter but never joining in. They stop to take pictures in front of the posters of their favorite drivers, and you oblige as they ask to take a picture in front of the big sign advertising the race. They ask you to be in one of the pictures with them. You shake your head as you had your best friend’s phone back to her.

Out of the corner of your eye, your attention is drawn to a merch stand. You see merchandise for her favorite driver, and you make a mental note to go back there before you all leave. You get your chance when you excuse yourself to go get another drink.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” you promise. “Just fifteen minutes.”

“We have drinks back at the hotel!” your best friend whines.

You shrug with a small smile. “They must put something in the soda here. I’ll be back.” You wave as you retreat, not letting her get another word in.

You beeline towards the merch line, frantically looking for which driver she supported. You knew it was one of the red ones, the name starting with a C. But that was both of the Ferrari drivers, and you quickly shot a text to one of your other friends asking which of the two drivers your best friend liked.

As you waited, your hand brushed over the shirts that were on display. Your brow furrowed as you tried to remember the name. She talked about him nonstop on the way down to the circuit, but you just couldn’t grasp the name in your memory. Your fingers stopped on one of the shirts that had the number 16 printed in large text, the name Leclerc just above it, like a football jersey would.

“Do you like him?” a voice behind you asked. The voice stirred something in your brain, but you pushed the sensation down.

You didn’t glance over your shoulder as you shake your head. “I don’t really know many of the drivers,” you admitted softly. “I just want to get my friend a present for her birthday, but I don’t remember which driver she likes most.”

The man behind you laughed. It was a nice sound, a familiar sound. “You can’t go wrong with buying this, then.” He reached past you and picked up a boxy shirt with the prancing horse logo on the front pocket. There were no numbers, no names, but it was a clean design, and you nodded, thinking that it was something that your friend would like.

You gently took it from his hands and turned to thank him, but you stopped short, seeing his eyes. Those blue eyes.

“Thank you,” you managed, pushing past the shock.

He grinned. You knew that smile. “You’re welcome. I’m Charles, by the way.” He held out his hand to you, and you slowly took it and shook it.

“I… yeah, it’s nice to meet you, too.” You cleared your throat. “You, uh, look familiar. Have we met before?”

He froze, but shook his head. “No, but you may have seen me earlier. I drive one of those cars you saw on track earlier.” You make a little noise of acknowledgement as you get to the front of the line.

As you turned to pay, you heard people start to swarm him behind you, asking for photos and autographs. You shook your head as you asked politely to have the shirt packed so it’s hidden, and the kind vendor agreed. You adjusted the shirt in its bag, laying your jacket on top of it, and turned back to see Charles signing one last hat.

“Sorry about that,” he said to you with a sheepish grin. “Listen, I don’t normally do this, but I think you’re very pretty, and I’d like to ask you to get dinner with me tonight.”

You were taken aback, left stuttering and stammering. There you were, not even invested in this whole Formula 1 thing, and a driver — a very rich driver whose name you hadn’t known until five minutes prior — was asking you to dinner because he thought you were cute? You didn’t know what to say.

“Say yes.”

Had you said that out loud?

You met his eyes again, and you found yourself falling into those blue eyes, just like you had when you first saw them. You found yourself nodding, the word “okay” leaving your lips before your brain had time to catch up.

Charles beamed. It was brighter than the sun. “Great!” he exclaimed. “Where are you staying? I’ll pick you up at 8.”

You gave him the name of your hotel, and he held out his phone for you to put your number in. You did so with an almost foggy mind, only half aware of your movements. His shining smile never left his face as he took the phone back and shot you a message before running off, repeating his promise to come get you for dinner.

You practically stumbled back to the car, too stunned to speak.

“Girl, what happened?” your friends practically demanded, taking in your shell-shocked expression. They were willing to go to war for you, and you could only shake your head.

“I just met one of your drivers,” you admitted. They squealed, demanding to know who. “A guy named Charles. And… he asked me to go to dinner with him.”

As their celebratory voices drifted away, you remembered the way his eyes looked. Not like when you ran into him at that vendor’s booth, but the way he looked at you with sorrow and anguish, the way tears welled up in his eyes. The way he stared at you with betrayal before his knees hit the floor.

You wondered if it was better to not go.

But your friends dressed you, did your hair, put on makeup, and showered you in compliments as they pushed you out the door of your hotel room, with threats that if you bailed, they would make you walk home. You knew they were empty threats, but you obliged anyways, trudging down to the lobby and waiting for Charles.

He picked you up at exactly 8 on the dot, barely a few seconds off as he pulled up in a fancy sports car. He held every door for you, from car doors to restaurant doors. He pulled your chair out and asked what you wanted to order, assuring you not to worry about the price.

The two of you spoke. You learned a lot about Formula 1 that night, and you found yourself smiling as Charles boasted about his team and his successes. He admitted his worries and told you that he was hopeful about the race the following day. You wished him luck. He turned the conversation back to you, and you found yourself telling him all about your own goals, but you felt as if you paled in comparison to him.

It didn’t matter how you felt, though, when he looked at you with such intrigue.

The night ended too quickly, you realized, as he pulled up in front of your hotel. You smiled softly and thanked him for a wonderful night, but didn’t move to get out of the car. And he didn’t move to make you.

“Could we get dinner again tomorrow?” he finally asked, breaking the silence. “I had fun, and I’d like to do this again.”

You gaped at him. “Charles, I… this was amazing, but you don’t know me. We-we just met today, and we don’t run in the same circles at all, and… Charles, are you sure?” you squeaked out.

He reached out and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m sure,” he breathed out, his face slowly creeping closer to yours.  “It feels like… something is pulling me towards you. Like I’ve known you forever. That’s why I approached you in the first place, this feeling that I can’t really place, but I… I want to see where it goes. Will you let me?”

He was so close that you could feel his breath on your lips. His eyes were all you could see, glimmering with sincerity. You inhaled sharply, swallowing despite your dry throat.

“Yes.”

He pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as you kissed him back, the thrill of newness and the rush of memory mixing as you and Charles shared your first kiss, one that was all too familiar to your heart and body.

Charles — you know it’s Charles now — laughs with that brilliant smile as he twirls you around. He’s dressed in a suit, his tie draped around his shoulders. You’re in all white, your skirt fanning around you. You’re surrounded by people, faces both familiar and not, and as you take them in, you’re surprised to realize that you know exactly who these people are, despite having never met most of them.

You look at Charles, who looks happier than you think you’ve ever seen anyone. You feel his arms wrap around you as he pulls you close. “Come on, love, it’s our wedding. We should be allowed to leave whenever we want,” he whispers into your hair.

“Charles,” you playfully berate him. “We can’t because it’s our wedding.”

He groans, but continues to dance with you, holding you close as you twirl around the dance floor. You take pity on him and lean close.

“But when we leave, you have me all to yourself for the next few days.”

He leans back a little bit, wonder taking over his face. It’s like he’s seeing you for the first time, and you smile cheekily at him. He can’t help himself as he kisses you deeply, deaf to the cheers and wolf whistles of your friends and family.

“Welcome to the rest of your life, my love,” he murmurs against your lips. You can feel his smile. “Here’s to our forever.”

Forever sounds good to you.

But it also sounds like an empty promise.

You push back the worry, push back the sinking feeling that you have in your heart, and nod, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“Forever,” you echo, wishing with all your heart that the word is binding.

Needless to say, your dinner date the following day went well. You were unable to resist Charles’s smile for very long, his earnest happiness and genuine kindness he showed winning you over.

Your second dinner date soon led to a third and fourth when he flew you out to Las Vegas a month later, happy to sneak you into his hotel and spend time with you as far from prying eyes as he could manage. It was on the fourth day that he asked you to be his girlfriend, a question which you answered yes to almost immediately.

The following night, he insisted on introducing you to the rest of the grid, his friends, as he swept you into a Las Vegas club to celebrate race day.

You met all of the men he raced with, all of whom were overjoyed to meet you. He introduced you as his girlfriend, no hesitation as he pushed you forwards. You met their girlfriends, who took a shine to you, and you spent the night dancing and drinking with your new group of friends.

As the night began to wind down, Charles quickly picked up that your feet were starting to ache, and excused himself to drive you back to the hotel.

“Thank you, Charles.”

“For what?”

“For everything. It’s been… really nice. You’ve been wonderful.” You smiled softly at him, moving to get out of the car.

He quickly stopped you, grabbing your hand and pulling the car door closed. “Listen. I know my life is hectic. I understand if this isn’t what you thought it would be like, or if it’s so far from what you wanted. But this past month with you has made me feel complete. I just… need you to know that I’m in it for the long haul.” His intense gaze never left yours, and you felt your heart try to escape its cage.

You wondered what it meant for your relationship, to be in it for the long haul. You wanted to believe that your relationship could withstand the test of time.

With each kiss, your love became clearer. With each kiss, you could see a little more than you did before. The “long haul” was supposed to be indefinite, a vow to last until the end of time, but your heart said differently.

There was an end in sight, your heart reminded you.

Even knowing this, you nodded. You didn’t have the heart to walk away from something so pure, so sweet. Something that was so clearly yours, and just yours. Walking away from it, you thought, would hurt more than the end you had seen in your memory.

So, you just nodded with a smile and allowed him to take you by the hand and bring you with him on his adventures.

He took you with him around the world whenever you had the time to do so, holding your hand and showing you off like a proud boyfriend. You were loved by the people online, thrilled that Charles was dating a “normal” girl. You held your head high whenever you were in the paddock, greeting fans and taking the gifts they offered so you could give them to Charles.

In between all of this, you finished up your college courses as quietly as you could, keeping your head down to avoid any of the sudden fame that had come with your new relationship.

Navigating all of the newness was difficult in itself, but the true challenge came with the dreams. The memories, you came to realize that they were. The more time you spent with Charles, the clearer it became to you.

The man in your dreams was Charles. Older, but still him. And that child, he was yours. Your future. Yours and Charles’s future. It wasn’t like watching a movie, not even for a second. You were seeing your future the same way that you were capable of recalling the past.

And it terrified you.

With each passing day, you remembered how he looked at you — how he will look at you in the future. The mix of sorrow and rage in his eyes, his face, his whole body… you weren’t sure when it would become too much for you to bear. You wondered if the future you saw would even come to pass, or if you would break before any of it.

Before the wedding, before the child… before the end.

Each time it became too much, you contemplated leaving. You really thought about just breaking it off with Charles. It would spare you both a whole lot of heartache, you reasoned.

But it felt like whenever you felt like you were reaching your breaking point, Charles noticed. He would reach over with a sweet hand, grasping yours, and would smile at you.

“Thank you for being with me,” he would say.

Your resolve would fracture into a million tiny pieces, slipping through your fingers as you reached out to him. You knew that it was selfish, you knew that you were destined to be hurt in the future, but you couldn’t pull away. Not when he looked at you like that.

But you never told him. You couldn’t, you thought. He’d think you were insane, or worse, he wouldn’t believe you. He’d laugh it off, and you’d continue, both of you knowing but unable to do anything to stop it.

Instead, one late night, as you laid awake in bed, curled into his side. “Charles?” He hummed in response. “Can I ask you something?” you muttered, your voice cracking.

He was immediately awake, hearing the fear in your voice. He rolled over to face you, blue eyes locking on yours, and nodded. “Of course, love. You can ask me anything, anytime,” he replied softly, soothingly.

“You said, a long time ago, that you’re in it for the long haul.” He nodded again. “If us being together meant that something bad would happen… would you still be?”

For a moment, he was silent. He shifted, furrowing his brow, and lifted his hand to brush your hair from your face. “You’re talking in hypotheticals, love,” he murmured. “Bad things are going to happen. We’ll fight — we have fought. Life isn’t perfect, but we’re happy. I’m not one to just give up just because a bad thing could happen. I’d never take risks otherwise.” He smiled with a small laugh, and the storm that had encased your heart began to subside. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then your forehead, then your nose, and finally, your lips.

“What if it’s big, though?” you still pushed.

“Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Let’s take things one day at a time, and when we get there, we’ll get there.” He pulled you close, and you buried your face into his chest. He gently kissed the top of your head, and you could feel his breath on your hair. “Big or small, we’ll work it out. I promise.”

You wanted to believe him.

So, you allowed yourself to believe him, settling further into his warmth and allowing sleep to wash over you.

You stand in front of a grave, a bundle of sunflowers in your hand.

The years on the headstone tell you that the person laying in it was only thirteen when they died. You feel sick. Tears come, angry and unbidden, as you bend down to place the flowers in front of the headstone.

“Oh…”

You turn. Charles is there, staring at you with surprise. It quickly melts away into resentment, the kind that burns your heart and scars you with the intensity of it.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” he manages, his voice dangerously level.

You take a step towards him. “Charles—”

“I didn’t think you needed time to mourn,” he cuts in as he takes a step back from you. “I would’ve thought you did all your mourning in the time you knew.” You shake your head. “Look, I…” He cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

“Charles, I’m sorry,” you said quietly.

“Sorry doesn’t fix it. It doesn’t fix anything.” He sniffles, sorrow mixing with his rage. “It’s too late. Just… please let me mourn in peace.”

He pushes past you, and you watch as he kneels in front of the grave, lovingly placing a hand on its face, and lays his own bouquet of flowers in front of the stone. You watch as he murmurs something that you can’t hear.

You open your mouth, but like every time before, words fail you.

Instead, you turn away, tears slipping down your cheeks, and you leave, not looking back at his hunched over figure and pretending you don’t notice his shaking shoulders.

It was summer in Monaco.

You and Charles had been together for nearly two years now, and you’d moved in with him the previous year. In those two years you’d been together, you spent days in bed and nights out on the town, and you’d made memories all around the world, sharing kisses and declarations of love all the while. Life was good to you, and it was good enough for you to forget sometimes. You allowed yourself more space to forget the future, and focus on the crazy, beautiful adventure that was the present.

This summer was shaping up to be the most relaxed since your romance began. You weren’t planning any crazy trips or moving across the world. You’d simply asked Charles if you could spend some time in the city you now called home, and he’d agreed without hesitation.

You spent the days with his friends, both on the grid and not, laughing and growing closer to them. You finally thought of them as your friends, not just Charles’s friends, and you let yourself smile with them.

A small part of you, in the back of your mind, wondered if they, too, would grow to hate you.

But those thoughts washed away when you went to his mother’s home for dinner. When she wrapped you up in her arms with unconditional love, you let yourself feel the warmth that this family offered. When his brothers and their significant others greeted you like they’d known you for a lifetime, you felt your spirits lift.

You would savor this while you still had it, you decided.

You quickly tried to make yourself useful, asking to help Pascale with cooking, and she patiently taught you her recipes. She watched over you with a gentle smile that reminded you so much of her son, and she beamed just like him when you glanced over at her for approval.

You played games with Arthur and Lorenzo, handily beating them at cards, much to their significant others’ amusement. You laughed and winked at Charles as you threw the next round, and shook your head at Arthur when he celebrated his first win of the night.

Charles looked at you with a new expression that night.

When you went home, he showered you in kisses, locking you in his arms. He ran his hands over you, he pressed his lips to every bit of skin he could reach. He worshiped you, and you basked in his adoration.

By the time you both actually tucked under the covers, the moon was high in the starry sky. Your legs were tangled together beneath the sheets, and your bodies were pressed together. You could feel him breathing into the back of your head as he kept pressing lazy kisses to your neck, and you sighed in content.

He murmured something in French against your skin, and you hummed. “What was that, Charles? I’m not fluent yet.”

You could feel him sit up behind you, pushing your hair away from your neck. He pressed a kiss against the shell of your ear, and you jumped at the feeling of his breath in your ear. “I said, I’m going to marry you someday,” he replied quietly. Your eyes flew open, and you sat up to stare at him. He stared back at you, unflinching.

“Sorry?”

He sat up, too, and grabbed your hands. He ran his thumbs over your knuckles, and even now, even two years into your relationship, it sent a shiver up your spine.

“Does that bother you?” he wondered quietly. You quickly shook your head. “Good. Because I mean it. Someday — maybe not today, but someday — I want to make you my wife. I want to have a life and a family with you.” You sniffled, and he quickly rubbed the tears away before they could fall. “Hey… happy tears, I hope.”

You nodded weakly. “Happy tears,” you agreed, managing a teary smile.

He smiled right back, his eyes crinkling. “Good.” He kissed your cheeks, right beneath your eyes, and you sniffled again. “Don’t cry, love. I’ll love you as long as I live.” You sniffled again, but nodded, allowing his words to wash over you.

You wondered if he even knew that his words were lies.

The child is lying on a hospital bed. He has tubes running all over his body, and the heart monitor next to his bed is beeping faintly. Rhythmically.

Charles is draped over the boy, holding his hand like a lifeline. He’s praying in English, French, and Italian, desperately begging whatever force controls this universe for more time. Tear streaks stain his face, but no more tears fall. He doesn’t have any more to give.

He barely looks up at you as you walk into the hospital room. It smells like chemicals, and you want to throw up. You know what comes next. You can’t bear to look at the boy as you busy yourself changing the flowers in his room — sunflowers, like you know he loves — and putting the cards from your friends and family all around.

“The doctors say it looks good,” he chokes out. You blink and turn back to him. “One more surgery, they think. They’ll be able to take the tumor out.” He manages a watery smile at you, still clinging to the child’s hand. “Our son will be okay.”

Your heart falls.

Your son is lying on a hospital bed.

“Mommy?” his weak voice cuts through your sorrow. You’re at his bedside in an instant, holding his hand and running your fingers through his hair. He looks so small. You remember the first time you held him. He was small like this back then, too.

“What is it, sweetheart?” you ask, trying to force yourself to sound as soothing as possible.

Your son smiles. “Don’t cry, mommy. I’ll be better tomorrow. When I’m better, can we get ice cream?” he asks, so sweet and so innocent your heart breaks again.

You nod. “Of course, baby. We can get as much ice cream as you want.” You look at Charles, who nods fiercely. You know he’d give your son anything to make him happy. To make him healthy.

You have trouble sleeping that night. Leaving him was harder than you thought it’d be, and you’re awake as the reality plagues you, taunts you, and keeps you awake. You stare at the ceiling, tears silently streaming down your face.

“It’ll be okay, my love,” Charles soothes you.

No, it won’t, you want to reply.

Your worst fear comes true the next day, when the doctor walks out of the operating room with a solemn look on his face. You only catch the words cardiac arrest and reacted poorly to the anesthetic as you stand, frozen in place. Charles falls to his knees, whimpers wrenched from his throat, and clings to you.

I’m sorry for your loss, you hear the doctor say. You stumble backwards and collapse into the waiting room chairs.

It has to be a nightmare.

You know it’s real.

It doesn’t make it hurt less.

You woke up sobbing.

Tears were falling fast and hard, and you were almost wailing. Your throat was raw from the violent screams, sounds you didn’t even know you could make. Your heart hurt so much that it was hard to breathe, the anguish in your soul expressing itself in the most violent way.

Charles was beside you as soon as you shot up in bed. He held you tightly. You struggled in his arms. He held you tighter. You gave up, too weak and too sad to fight. You just collapsed into him, hiccups and choked crying the only sounds you could make. You couldn’t even tell him that you were alright.

Instead, you clung to his hand as you heaved. You felt nauseous, but there was nothing in your stomach to throw up. You just sobbed, your face ugly and raw, as you tried to hide.

“My love,” he tried weakly, “what’s the matter? Please talk to me.”

For a moment, you wanted nothing more than to tell him exactly what was happening. You wanted to tell him that you saw your future together, that you knew the tragedy that would befall your family. You wanted to warn him, wanted him to know. The burden was finally becoming too much.

But, you thought, things would be different if you told him. And you weren’t sure if it would be a good sort of different.

There was the possibility that you wouldn’t stay together long enough for your son to be born. You would be stuck with the memories, the knowledge that he was supposed to live, but without Charles, there was never any hope for your son. You didn’t know if it was crueler to rip your son’s life away before he was even conceived, or to live with the knowledge that his life would be cut brutally short.

The other option was that Charles would insist on staying with you anyways. That he would try to overcome the future and make a world where your son could be alive. That future would come to pass anyways, and it would destroy him. If the burden of knowledge was eating you, and would continue to eat you for years, you knew that Charles wouldn’t survive it.

You couldn’t tell him, you decided. You knew you couldn’t tell him. You shook your head fiercely and curled yourself closer.

So, you just cried until you fell back asleep, Charles rocking you back and forth in his arms.

The next morning, at breakfast, he prodded again. “Will you talk to me about it?” he asked, his eyes staring right through you. “I’m worried about you.”

You just smiled and grabbed his hand. You squeezed it tightly, and he squeezed back. “I’m okay, Charles,” you tried to reassure him. He looked like he didn’t believe you. “I’ll tell you one day. But I can’t right now.”

He looked more concerned, but nodded.

“I trust you,” he said softly.

You almost laughed. You wished he didn’t.

You’re sitting on a park bench. Charles is holding your hand. You’re watching the wind through the trees, listening to the families playing around you. The two of you aren’t saying anything, but there’s a peace between the two of you. There’s no hatred or anger, no sorrow or anguish. It’s quiet. It’s nice.

You choke up a little, but do your best to keep your composure as you squeeze Charles’s hand in yours. He looks over, his smile faltering when he sees your teary eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, so sweetly that it makes your heart ache.

Sniffling, you shake your head. You can’t tell him, not now. It’s not time.

“Mommy!” You turn around on the park bench, seeing your son, only six at this time, running towards you, a bright smile on his face. You force your tears back as you stand, kneeling with open arms. He runs right into them, and you pick him up, your laughter mixing in the air. “Mommy, look what I found!”

He shows you what he’s found, holding up a sunflower almost as big as his face. You gasp dramatically as he hands it to you, and you spin him around to face Charles. Charles has stood, and is watching you both with a gentleness you wish you could bottle up and treasure forever.

“Charles, look!” You wave the sunflower. “Look at this lovely gift your son got me. Thoughtful, just like his daddy.” You nuzzle your nose into your son’s cheek, and he giggles. The sound lifts your heart.

Charles nods. “I’m jealous,” he adds, his smile playful. “Mommy will love you more than me soon.”

You giggle and mock whisper, “He doesn’t know I already do.” Your son laughs, eyes darting between you and Charles, who has loudly gasped in fake offense. You stuck out your tongue teasingly, and your son mimicked you.

Narrowing his eyes, Charles creeps towards you, arms outstretched. You back up, still sharing giggles with your son. Charles pauses for a moment, then darts towards you both, sweeping you both up in his arms. You let out a shriek as you feel him lift both of you off the ground and spin you around.

When he finally lets you down, you turn to face him. His hands rest on your hips as he kisses your forehead, then your son’s. You stare at him, wishing you could frame his soft, loving face and preserve it.

It’s a peaceful day. You wish it could last forever.

You sat on the beach, a drink in hand as you stared out at the summer sun as it rose over the beautiful city you’d come to call home. Charles sat next to you, holding his own drink, as he took in the way the sunrise’s colors hit the water.

“Charles,” you began, your voice cutting through the peaceful morning air. He looked at you, and you almost cried at the sincere love in his eyes. “If you knew what your life would bring, good and bad, from beginning to end… do you think you’d change anything?”

He thought for a moment, taking a sip of his drink. But, after a moment, he shook his head. “No. No, because no matter how much sorrow and tragedy I’ve experienced in this life, there is joy in it, too. Changing anything that happened, or has yet to happen, could mean I miss out on some of the greatest things to happen in my life. Like you.” He reached out to grab your hand, holding it like you were his lifeline.

His touch was warm. You reveled in it. You begged your traitorous heart to stop beating so fast, your mind and memory battling against your heart. With a sniffle, you held his hand with your own shaky one, blinking back the tears before they could fall.

“I love you,” you managed to choke out, the words tasting like acid but sounding so sweet.

“I love you, too.” He leaned over to press a kiss to your head. You leaned into his touch. “I’ll make this life a good one. For both of us.”

You already knew that the time you spent with Charles would be good. You would celebrate your third year together next month. You’d be engaged in just four months, around Christmastime, and you’d be married by this time next year. You’d have a son — your son — on the way two years after that.

Your son would spend thirteen wonderful years with his parents. You would share breakfasts and blanket forts. You would drive him to school, Charles would pick him up. You would both go to support Charles in the paddock, and you’d be loved by his fans. Neither you nor Charles would miss a single event that your son participated in. You would dote on him and give him everything he wanted. Charles would be a wonderful, supportive father, and your son would grow up knowing that he was loved.

But cancer, that horrid illness, would come in his twelfth year. He would faint in the middle of class and be rushed to the hospital. You’d rush there from work, Charles meeting you with panic in his eyes. There, the doctors would tell you that it would be an aggressive tumor, spreading quickly, and he would spend the next year in and out of the hospital for treatment. He’d get sicker and sicker, thinner and paler, but he’d still smile as you and Charles came to visit. He’d joke about all the things he wanted to do when he was better.

You’d smile and indulge him, but you’d know that time would never come.

Three weeks after his thirteenth birthday, he would die during the surgery that was supposed to save his life. It would be sudden, a freak accident from a reaction to the anesthetic the doctors used. There would be nothing you could do to stop it.

Charles would fall apart, his world careening to a screeching halt after your son died, but you would preserve. By that time, you would have had over fifteen years to come to terms with the shock death of your most precious person.

But it would still hurt all the same, the pain as raw as the day you’d learned the future.

Eventually, the hurt would be too much. You and Charles would drift further apart until you realized that the ending was upon you. You would tell him over dinner one night about the secret you’d kept for years, finally confessing the things that plagued you for the entirety of your relationship. That you’d known — you’d always known — that this ending would come.

He’d curse you. He’d hate you. He’d leave and never come back, and he would resent you for the rest of your lives.

And you knew that this ending would come to pass. You knew, as you sat with Charles, curled into him on that beach, that you would have a loving, blessed life for the next fifteen years. You knew that your life was on a timer.

But you knew you’d savor every moment until that ending came.

“Despite knowing the journey and where it leads, I embrace it and welcome every moment.”

author's note: this took forever to write, but i'm happy that it's finally done. i'm new to the f1 rpf scene, so i'm still working on getting unique voices down. i hope you like this story!

[covid-safer-hotties]

Drs. Ziyad Al-Aly, Akiko Iwasaki and Eric Topol, along with other acclaimed researchers, have issued a position statement on Long COVID published yesterday in the journal Nature Medicine. This document provides a much-needed perspective on the continued dangers posed by the “forever COVID” policy enshrined in official public health policies.

This important review comes on the heels of the recent publication in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) of a reference frame for the chronic disease. It was developed by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) Committee on Examining the Working Definition for Long COVID.

The 2024 NASEM Long COVID definition is: “Long COVID is an infection-associated chronic condition that occurs after SARS-CoV-2 infection and is present for at least 3 months as a continuous, relapsing and remitting, or progressive disease state that affects one or more organ systems.”

Most importantly, previous documentation of a COVID infection is not required for the diagnosis. The NASEM report explains: “By now, most persons worldwide have had at least one episode of acute SARS-CoV-2 infection. A requirement for proof of diagnosis could wrongly exclude many patients …”

This closer approximation to a scientific definition of long COVID is an important step towards educating the public and issuing a call for action to address the viral assault on the global population.

The authors of the study, published in Nature Medicine, should be commended for giving urgency to an issue that Dr. Al-Aly has rightly called “the elephant in the room.” Yet as sincere as these appeals may be to take Long COVID seriously, they will not convince the bourgeois authorities who have already dismissed warnings about the acute stage of COVID-19.

The complex multisystem disorder that can affect nearly every organ system after a COVID infection spares no one across the age spectrum. It appears that even fetuses in utero are at increased risk of respiratory ailments if the mother was infected during pregnancy.

Considering our rapidly developing comprehension of the long-term health consequences of COVID, thanks to the exemplary work being done by these scientists, the policy of mass infection demanded by the financial oligarchy assumes an even more sinister and deranged character.

The “cardinal” symptoms of Long COVID include brain fog and memory changes, fatigue, rapid sudden onset of heart rate, significant sleep disturbances, and immense sense of discomfort and illness after exerting oneself. There are no cures and, worse, no diagnostic tools that can tell someone they have Long COVID. Only recently have healthcare workers and researchers begun to identify treatments for Long COVID, but there is an absence of randomized trials to guide these decisions.

The authors note, “Care for people with Long COVID varies widely across settings and practitioners. It is often challenged by lack of widespread recognition and understanding of Long COVID among medical professionals, constrained resources and competing demands on healthcare systems still recovering from the shock of the pandemic, lack of standardized care pathways, lack of definitive diagnostic and treatment tools, and a general pervasive pandemic fatigue with an urge to ‘move on.’” The last point is a byproduct of the impact of forcing the population to accept COVID as a permanent fixture of society.

On top of the horrific impact it has on an individual person, on a social scale, mass Long COVID leads to loss of productivity, disruption in the workplace and increased risk of occupational-related injury or fatalities. Cognitive impairment, even after mild infections, is common, and there can be dire consequences for workers in occupations where the slightest error or inattention can be devastating: truck drivers, electricians, airline pilots, first responders and more. To say nothing of the impact on the wider community.

The report makes reference to the 2022 US Brookings Institute estimates on the figure of 2 million to 4 million US adults who were out of work because of Long COVID. Add to this the Minneapolis US Federal Reserve Bank report from July 2022, finding that people with Long COVID had a 10 percent poorer chance of being employed, and when they were, worked 25 to 50 percent less than uninfected individuals.

On a global scale, the authors wrote, “On the basis of all the available data, a conservative estimate of the annual global economic toll of Long COVID could be around $1 trillion, amounting to 1% of the 2024 global GDP.” Other estimates are even higher: An economic study from 2022 placed the cost of Long COVID at $3.7 trillion, or $11,000 per capita for the US alone, amounting to 17 percent of the gross domestic product (GDP).

Most compelling in the Al-Aly et al. review was their assessment of the global cumulative incidence of Long COVID, which until now had been opaque.

Basing their estimates on meta-regression studies that pooled all the available evidence, they estimated that figure for the first four years of the pandemic at 409 million cases of Long COVID. The authors remarked, “It is crucial to emphasize that these estimates only represent cases arising from symptomatic infections and are likely to be conservative. The actual incidence of Long COVID, including cases from asymptomatic infections or those with a broader range of symptoms, is expected to be higher.”

By comparison, among the most common ailments afflicting the world’s population, heart and circulatory issues, affect around 620 million. This means that in only four years, Long COVID, as a disease, has risen nearly to the top of the global list. Furthermore, Long COVID, as a multi-organ disease process, will only exacerbate noncommunicable and communicable diseases that arise in the future.

Placing these figures into context, this week, based on wastewater data, infection modelers estimate that COVID infections have once again climbed above 1 million cases per day, a staggering figure, to which the CDC is completely indifferent. COVID modeler Dr. Mike Hoerger of the Pandemic Mitigation Collaborative, in a social media discussion with this writer, said that presently, on average, every American has been infected between three or four times.

In a rare show of concern, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that COVID-19 was spreading across the globe, with positivity rates in Europe above 20 percent. In opening their August 6, 2024, news report on COVID, they warned, “The UN health agency is also concerned that more severe variants of the coronavirus may soon be on the horizon.”

The European continent is swimming in a river of infection, like the unfortunate Olympic athletes sickened by swimming in the polluted Seine. And as we have already noted, the Olympics themselves have been a superspreader event.

Knowing that reinfections, more severe disease, and remaining unvaccinated, all raise the risk of Long COVID, one can only watch the current wave of infections with alarm. These will be given further fuel as schools and universities begin to open their doors later this month. Furthermore, global COVID vaccinations have essentially come to a halt. Long COVID is the long tail of the ongoing pandemic that has no end.

Unique in the report by Dr. Al-Aly and colleagues is the raising of social issues affecting the global impact of Long COVID. In support of the UN Foundation’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDG), they raise the need to end poverty and hunger, improve access to health, provide quality education, improve working conditions and reduce inequalities. They also call for funding to support coordinated interdisciplinary research on Long COVID on a global footing.

The recognition of the social issues that need to be addressed is an important insight. However, the appeal to existing public health institutions and political processes to heed their warnings will not bear any fruit.

First and foremost, the “forever COVID” policy is not a misguided public health construct. It is a calculated and coordinated approach to ensure pandemic threats would not impede the unfettered accumulation of surplus value off the backs of the working class. If the sick and infirm fall by the wayside, these social losses are seen as financial gains by the class that seeks to extract from the working class every minute of their potential labor power and avoid the cost of their “lingering on.”

In this regard, Senator Bernie Sanders’ introduction of legislation titled the “Long COVID Research Moonshot Act of 2024” is simply political theater, aimed at deluding the public into thinking that the capitalist system is capable of reform. The bill would provide a paltry $1 billion in mandatory funding per year for 10 years to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to support Long COVID research.

To think this legislation will see the light of day while social spending is being slashed to fund the forever wars is to look at the world through very thick rose-colored glasses. Those researchers and public health advocates who wish to promote the application of the scientific principles that guide their own work must recognize the necessity for a broader social perspective.

To address Long COVID, as the world Trotskyist movement has demanded, one must begin by eliminating COVID across the world. Despite the dismissal of such a perspective by capitalist governments and the corporate media, zero COVID is and remains the only viable solution.

Only one social class is capable of taking up and fighting for such a policy: the international working class. The fight against COVID and future pandemics, like the looming H5N1, must be integrated into the revolutionary mobilization of the working class against the capitalist system and the establishment of a socialist society, in which human needs, including the most basic concerns of healthy life, will be the basis of social policy, not private profit.

[axlerica]

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE~

-The one where Pedri pretends to forget his gf’s birthday-

In the vibrant city of Barcelona, summer was approaching, which meant June was just around the corner, and with it came the anticipation of a special occasion - Y/N's birthday, just two weeks away.

As Y/N's birthday approached, she couldn't help but feel a little anxious. In the past, Pedri had always surprised her with thoughtful gestures, but this time, he seemed preoccupied and didn't mention anything about her special day. Doubts started to creep into her mind, wondering if he had forgotten.

On the morning of her birthday, Y/N received no birthday wishes from Pedri. Her heart sank, and she tried to hide her disappointment, convincing herself that maybe he had been too busy with football.

Feeling down, Y/N decided to spend the day doing things she enjoyed. She went to the park, her favorite spot, and took a walk, trying to shake off her sadness. She had grown used to people forgetting her birthday in the past, so she pretended it didn't hurt as much.

Meanwhile, Pedri was busy making the final preparations for the surprise party. He had enlisted the help of Gavi, Ferran, and Eric Garcia, who were excited to celebrate their friend's special day.

As the day passed, Y/N's sadness started to lift as she tried to enjoy her birthday despite the absence of any plans with Pedri. Little did she know that he was secretly coordinating with her friends to organize the surprise party.

In the late afternoon, while Y/N was sitting on a bench at the park, lost in her thoughts, there was a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to find Gavi standing there, holding a mysterious envelope.

Gavi: (excitedly) Hey, Y/N! I've got something for you!

Y/N: (curious) For me? What is it?

Gavi: (handing her the envelope) Open it and find out.

Y/N opened the envelope and found a heartfelt letter inside. It was from Pedri, expressing his love and explaining the surprise he had planned for her. He asked her to trust him and follow the instructions in the letter.

As she read Pedri's words, tears welled up in her eyes. She hadn't expected this, and she started to realize how much he truly cared for her.

"Y/N, my love,

As the sun rises on your special day, I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are the light of my life, and every moment spent with you is a treasure I hold close to my heart.

I know things have been tough lately, and I'm sorry for not always being there like I should. Football can be demanding, but it should never take precedence over you.

Today, I wanted to surprise you in a way that would make you feel truly special. I hope you know that pretending to forget your birthday was never meant to hurt you. It was a chance to create a memory that we could cherish forever.

You are my rock, mi amor, and your happiness means everything to me. I promise to be more present, to listen to your needs, and to prioritize our relationship above all else.

You deserve the world, and I want to be the one to give it to you. You've brought so much joy into my life, and I can't imagine a day without you by my side.

Tonight, as you follow the clues and make your way to the park, know that it's a testament to the love I have for you. I've enlisted the help of our friends, who are as excited as I am to celebrate your special day.

I want to see your beautiful smile, and I want you to feel loved and cherished in every moment we share. You are the love of my life and I promise to make every day as special as this one.

So, my love, let the surprises unfold, and let your heart be filled with joy. This is just the beginning of a lifetime of happiness together.

Happy birthday, amor. You are my everything, and I love you more than words can express.

Forever yours,

Pedri"

The letter brought tears of happiness to Y/N's eyes, and her heart swelled with love. She realized how much Pedri cared for her and how wrong she was to doubt his feelings.

Filled with excitement and anticipation, Y/N followed the clues in the letter, each step leading her closer to the big surprise. Finally, as the sun began to set, Y/N arrived at a beautifully decorated park, adorned with colorful lights and balloons. She saw familiar faces, her friends, and teammates, and her heart swelled with joy.

Ferran: (excited) Happy birthday, Y/N!

Eric Garcia: (smiling) We've been waiting for you!

Y/N: (overwhelmed) This is incredible! I can't believe you guys did all this.

Gavi: Pedri wanted to make it special for you.

As the evening went on, Y/N was overwhelmed with happiness as more of her friends and teammates arrived to celebrate her birthday. Pedri appeared with a bouquet of flowers and a sheepish smile, revealing his elaborate plan.

Pedri: I wanted to surprise you amor! I pretended to forget so this moment could be even more special.

Y/N: (teary-eyed) You succeeded, Pedri. I can't believe you did all of this for me.

Pedri: You deserve the world, Y/N. I'm sorry for pretending to forget, but I hope this makes up for it. He said then kissed her.

Y/N: It definitely does. Thank you for making this birthday unforgettable.

As the night went on, they danced under the twinkling lights, swaying to the rhythm of their love. Pedri held her close and kissed her on her forehead, so many times, and Y/N felt like she was floating on air. All the doubts and sadness from earlier had vanished into thin air, replaced by the certainty that Pedri was the one for her.

Later, as the party started to wind down, Pedri pulled Y/N aside to a quiet corner of the park.

Pedri: (softly) Hey amor.. I'm so sorry for making you worry and pretending to forget. I didn't want to hurt you, but I wanted to surprise you in a special way.

Y/N: No baby I understand. It was a beautiful surprise, but I have to admit I was hurt at first. But it was part of the surprise right? It’s okay love.

Pedri: (looking into her eyes) I promise you, Y/N, I will never forget the birth of the love of my life. You mean everything to me, and I want to be there for every moment, big or small.

Y/N: (teary-eyed) You know, I used to pretend it didn't hurt when people forgot my birthday, but with you, it felt different.

Pedri: (whispering) Because you are different, mi amor. You're the love of my life, my everything. From now on, I promise to cherish you and make you feel loved every single day. He kissed her more and more.

Y/N: (softly) I believe you, Pedri. You've proven that tonight.

Pedri: (smiling) And I will keep proving it for the rest of our lives, amor.

Y/N: (with a gentle smile) I love you, Pedri.

Pedri's brown eyes were like warm, melted chocolate, captivating and inviting. They held a depth of emotion that spoke volumes without him saying a word. When he looked at Y/N, his eyes sparkled with affection, making her heart flutter. They were a window to his soul, and in their gaze, she found comfort and love.

As the sun set, casting a golden glow around them, Pedri leaned in, and their lips met in a soft, delicate union. It was a kiss that spoke of love, tenderness, and a promise of forever. In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, entwined in a dance of unspoken desires.

Pedri pulled back slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I can't wait to go home," he whispered.

Y/N's curiosity piqued, and she grinned playfully. "Why? What are we gonna do then?"

"It's a secret, mi amor," Pedri replied with a playful smile, and he winked at her. "It's for my bday girl only.”

Her heart skipped a beat, a delightful tingle of excitement running through her. "Oh, really? I can't wait to find out."

As they stepped back from the kiss, Pedri couldn't stop himself from pulling Y/N into a warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, as if he never wanted to let go. His teammates, who had been watching the sweet exchange, couldn't resist teasing him.

Gavi, with a playful grin, called out, "Aww, look at Pedri being all lovey-dovey. Looks like someone's a little baby."

Eric and Ferran joined in the teasing, laughing playfully. "Yeah, Pedri, you're like a big softie," Eric added.

Pedri blushed but couldn't help but smile, not the least bit embarrassed by their banter. "Hey, she's special, and I want her to know it," he defended, holding Y/N a little tighter.

Y/N blushed too, feeling her heart swell with affection for him. She couldn't have asked for a more loving and caring partner. "Well, I'm lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend," she replied, her voice filled with genuine fondness.

Their teammates chuckled, delighted to see Pedri so smitten with Y/N. They knew he had found something truly special in her, and they couldn't be happier for their friend.

However, Gavi couldn't help but take it a step further. "If you two ever break up, I'll never believe in love again!" he exclaimed dramatically, earning a few eye rolls and laughs from the group.

Eric playfully nudged Gavi, saying, "Dude, way to ruin the mood!"

Everyone burst into laughter, and in the midst of the playful banter, Eric couldn't resist giving Gavi a light shoulder snap. "Relax, man, they're clearly meant for each other," Eric said, laughing.

Gavi pretended to wince dramatically, but his smile gave away that he was just playing along. "Okay, okay, I get it," he chuckled. "But seriously, you two are adorable together."

As the night continued, the time had come for Y/N to open the thoughtful gifts from her friends. She sat in the center of the gathering, surrounded by her loved ones, her heart filled with gratitude.

Gavi was the first to hand her an envelope. "I'm terrible at picking gifts, so I hope you don't mind," he chuckled nervously.

Y/N smiled warmly and opened the envelope, finding a card inside.

"Dear Y/N," she read out loud, "I know you can buy yourself whatever you want, but I thought this might come in handy. Happy birthday!" She opened the card to find 5000€ tucked inside. Y/N couldn't help but laughed at Gavi's gift.

"Wow, Gavi? 5000€?" Mikky teased, shaking her head with a grin. "You know you could've just gone to Sephora and bought her a bunch of birthday gift sets."

Gavi looked a bit puzzled, "Sephora? What's that?"

The group burst into laughter,. "Oh, Gavi, it's a cosmetics and beauty store. They have all sorts of amazing gifts for women, they've got everything from makeup and skincare to perfumes and fancy gift boxes." Mikky explained.

Gavi scratched his head, still a bit perplexed, "Well, I thought money would give her more options, no?"

Y/N laughed and said , "It's okay, Gavi. I appreciate the thought, and I can definitely find something nice to treat myself with."

Next in line was Ferran, who presented her with a small, beautifully wrapped box. "I hope you like it," he said with a shy smile.

Y/N eagerly opened the box to find a delicate Coco Chanel bracelet with a simple yet elegant design. "OMG Ferran, this is stunning! Thank you so much," she said, admiring the gift and putting it on her wrist. She hugged Ferran, grateful for the thoughtful present.

Eric handed her a gift bag with a playful grin. "I hope you're never late for anything now," he joked.

Y/N opened the bag to find an Apple watch inside. "Oh, wow! This is amazing! I’ll never late again after this, thank you, Eric," she exclaimed, touched by his gesture. She knew that Eric was always punctual, and his gift was a thoughtful reminder to cherish every moment.

As the evening went on, she received a surprise gift from De Jong and Mikky. They handed her a beautifully wrapped box, adorned with a luxurious ribbon.

"I hope you like it, Y/N," Mikky said with a warm smile.

Y/N carefully opened the box to reveal a gorgeous Dior bag. Her eyes widened in amazement, and she looked at the couple with gratitude. "I can't believe this! Thank you both so much. It's perfect," she said, feeling incredibly lucky to have such thoughtful friends.

Just as Y/N thought the gift-giving was over, Ansu and Balde approached her with cheeky smiles, holding a box between them.

Ansu chuckled mischievously. "We couldn't resist teasing you and Pedri a bit," he said.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, curious about the contents of the box. As she opened it, her eyes widened at the sight of cute baby clothes inside. “Oh, you two! Teasing us already?" Y/N said with a smile, pretending to be embarrassed.

Balde grinned, "Hey, we thought we'd give you a little preview of the future!"

Ansu added, "Who knows, maybe we'll be celebrating a double birthday next year!"

Y/N laughed and shook her head, feeling touched by the playful gesture. "Well, thank you anyway. They're adorable, even though there’s no baby." she said.

“Yet…” Balde said. They all laughed.

As the laughter subsided, Pedri knew it was the perfect moment to surprise Y/N with his special gift. He held her hand and smiled,

With a mischievous grin, Pedri said, "Now now, it's my turn to surprise you, amor."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. He handed it to Y/N, who looked at him with excitement and curiosity.

"What could this be?" Y/N wondered aloud as she opened the envelope. Her eyes widened in amazement when she saw the VIP ticket for Taylor Swift's Eras Tour.

“Pedri, is this real? Taylor Swift's Eras Tour VIP ticket?! No way! Pedri, how did you manage to get this babe? I've been trying to get tickets for so long!" Y/N exclaimed, her heart racing with excitement.

Pedri chuckled, "I pulled some strings and managed to get it just for you. I know how much you love Taylor Swift and how disappointed you were about not getting the tickets. I want to make sure you get to see your favorite artist perform up close. You've been wanting to go to this tour for so long, right?”.

Y/N's heart swelled with love and appreciation. She hugged Pedri tightly, "Yes!! Thank you, thank you so much! This is the best gift ever! I love you so much!!"

The group cheered, happy to witness Y/N's elation. Y/N turned to face them, still holding onto Pedri's hand, "Guys, he got me the Taylor Swift VIP ticket! Can you believe it?"

Gavi grinned, "Wow, Pedri, you're officially the best boyfriend ever!"

Eric and Ferran nodded in agreement, "Yeah, you set the bar pretty high for all of us now!"

The group laughed, and Y/N couldn't stop beaming with joy. She felt so lucky to have Pedri in her life, and the VIP ticket was the cherry on top of her already incredible birthday celebration.

Without hesitation, Y/N leaned in and kissed Pedri in front of everyone. The cheers and applause from their friends only added to the magic of the moment. As they pulled away, Y/N looked at Pedri with so much love in her eyes, "I love you, Pedri."

Pedri smiled, "I love you too, baby."

As the night went on, the celebration continued with laughter, music, and dancing. Y/N felt surrounded by love, not only from Pedri but also from her wonderful friends. The surprises, gifts, and heartfelt words made this birthday truly unforgettable.

And as she looked into Pedri's eyes, she knew that this was only the beginning of their beautiful journey together. With the support of their amazing friends and the love they shared, Y/N was certain that their future would be filled with happiness, surprises, and cherished moments.

[alexendria-rose]

Part two of celebrity crush

Part one

A/n- it’s not really a part two but I loved making Instagram aesthetic for it lol so here’s just a little something 🤎

liked by y/nupdates and 4,729 others

your username: eye spy a little cutie 👀

view comments

y/nupdates- oh my gosh! Finally a confirmation!

cumberbitch- omfg he could do so much better

y/nstand replies- girl you think that’s you or what?

zendaya- STOP THE HARD LAUNCH

benedict cumberbatch - and I spy with my little eye a gorgeous woman 🩷

martin freeman replies- hey I thought I was your gorgeous doctor!

yourinstagram replies- awh Martin don’t be sad, we can share.

benedict cumberbatch replies- sorry Martin she’s a lot cuter then you 😇🙃

liked by cumberbatchupdates and 5,798 others

benedict cumberbatch: I love that she dances like nobody is watching.

view comments

cumberbatchupdates- she looks so free spirited!

cumberbitch- my heart is broken 💔

y/nupdates replies- please shut up and let them enjoy their relationship.

yourinstagram- CUMBERBATCH WHEN DID YOU TAKE THIS PHOTO

benedict cumberbatch replies - you looked so happy and carefree. I had to capture the moment.

yourinstagram - you’re lucky that I love you

zendaya - if you think this is bad you should see her on set 👀

sydney sweeney replies - god it’s so bad! How many times she shook her ass to the soundtrack.

alexa demie replies - the soundtrack was dope. We both were shaking our ass together.

robert downey jr - y’all are adorable it’s sickening.

liked by y/nupdates and 4,798 others

yourinstagram: little behind the scenes before the show comes out tomorrow! Make sure to watch Eric 😉

view comments

y/nupdates- wait are we going to get a y/n cameo! Please please.

cumberbitch replies- oh god I hope not

y/nstand replies - for the love of god shut the hell up please.

benedict cumberbatch- sneaking photos of me now?

yourinstagram replies- yes since someone likes to sneak photos of me, I had to get payback.

zendaya- 🥹

tom holland - look at my babysitter.

benedict cumberbatch replies - your the reason why my fans call me a babysitter, if someone didn’t spoil!

tom holland replies - I like you being my babysitter, your more fun then Anthony and Sebastian.

sebastian stan replies - rude

liked by y/nupdates and 5,987 others

yourinstagram: Surprise 💍 #finally

view comments

Y/nupdates - NO WAY OUR FAVORITE COUPLE

cumberbitch - NO

y/nstan replies - hahaha bitch get shit on

cumberbatchluv - WE LOVE Y/N🩷🩷

zendaya - no stop you finally posted lemme go cry.

sydney sweeney- look at our girl go 🥹

alexa demie replies - she’s growing up so fast.

yourinstagram replies - stop u guys are gonna make me cry fr

benedict cumberbatch - here’s to forever darling girl.

yourinstagram replies - forever and always my favorite British man 💍

tom holland replies - I thought I was your favorite !

yourinstagram replies - your my favorite British Tom.

tom hiddleston replies - okay rude, btw congratulations you two.

robert downy jr - damn that is one fat stone on your finger. Congratulations to the beautiful couple 🥂

liked by benedictstan and 6,509 others

benedict cumberbatch: Marrying this girl in a week. Cannot wait 💍 #MrsCumberbatch

view comments

yourinstagram - cannot wait to be Mrs Cumberbitch 😜

cumberbitch replies - this is rude

benedict cumberbatch replies - I cannot wait either my love 🥰

zendaya - she’s so cute. I want to marry her.

tom holland replies - you’re literally with me

yourinstagram replies - and I’ll take her from you, watch it holland

Marvel Official - My favorite couple.

liked by y/nupdates and 7,898 others

yourinstagram: Call me Mrs Cumberbatch please 👀💍

view comments

y/nupdates - OMFG THE ROYAL WEDDING HAPPENED

cumberbitch replies - I wouldn’t call it anything… 🤦‍♀️

y/nstan replies - ISTG BITCH LEAVE PLEASE

robert downy jr - this was such a beautiful wedding, I almost cried.

anthony mackie replies - almost? You did!

tom holland replies - I’m sorry mr downy but you did.

zendaya - GO BESTIE GO BESTIE, I still cannot believe I was the maid of honor

sydney sweeney replies - me too, I mean I’m obviously better.

alexa demie - yall stfu it’s her wedding

yourinstagram - yall were all beautiful bridesmaids, and thank you for being a part of the day 🩷

benedict cumberbatch - Hello Mrs Cumberbatch 😉

yourinsagram replies - Hi Mr Cumberbatch 😉 I love you husband.

benedict cumberbatch replies - I love you most dear wife

Marvel Official - not Benedict and Y/n being the main characters. Congratulations 🥂

martin freeman - 😭😭 look at my guy go, I love you guys such a beautiful wedding. Congratulations 🤎

[kenny-the-ken]

Save the Date

Aged up readers, Y/N is 17, Kenny is 18. All in high school. Mentions of drugs, alcohol, sexual themes and strong language. NOT FOR MINORS!! I hope you all enjoyed my first fic, it was written while running after my 2 year old who throws WAY too many tantrums so sorry if it wasn't my greatest work!

Kenny watched you from across the classroom, he watched how you twiddled your pen between your thumb and forefinger, how you the tip of your tongue darted out of your mouth as you concentrated on what you were writing. Your perfect y/h/c hair flowing in soft waves that cascaded down your back. He had fallen, and he had fallen hard.

Both of you were inseparable, the best of friends, you did everything together, albeit not much, because neither of you could afford to go a lot of places. He loved nothing more than laying down beside you in your bed with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, you were the one of the only people that knew he was Mysterion, you were one of the very lucky few who had seen him without his orange parka hood suffocating his face. But the most important to him, you were the only one to remember, the first time he died in front of you, you were shattered to a million pieces, your heart completely broken, and the only thing that could ever fix it was Kenny coming back alive, not like that could ever happen.

But it did, and when you heard a small knock on your front door all those years ago, opening it to see those beautiful blue eyes and fluffy blonde hair standing smiling at you, your face covered in smeared black lines of mascara, he knew.

"Kenny?" You uttered, rubbing your eyes as if you were hallucinating, a glove clad hand reaching to cup your tear stained face, he just simply looked at you, tears now welling in his own eyes.

"You- You remember?" He asked, you giving him a small nod as his answer. You smiled, tears still falling down your face.

"Of course I remember, Kenny! You got hit by a bus and everyone shouted about how you'd been killed and then called them bastards!" You responded, before he grabbed you with both hands, saying nothing but pulling you close to him for the tightest hug you'd ever had.

"I'm so glad you remember. No one else does."

That day will stay forever engraved in his mind for as long as he was destined to be on this earth for. And he knew, he knew you were his one true soul mate. Yeah, Kenny had been with plenty of girls before, but none of them made him feel how you did, normally so confident in asking girls out, he was known as a flirt, but he had never been confident enough to ask you out. That was until today.

"Put your balls in your purse, Kinny!" Eric said to him, exiting the class watching you walking in front of him. He was half listening, half in a daydream about how good your ass looked in your jeans.

"Kenny? Hello? Earth to Kenny, are you even listening to us?!" Kyle said, waving his hands in the air in front of Kenny's face.

"Hey dude, I was getting a good view there!! Fuck you, man!" Kenny exclaimed, sighing as he seen you turn the corner in the corridor.

"Dude, you seriously gotta ask her out!" Stan said, the other two boys nodding in agreement.

"How, man? I don't have any money to take her places, what am I supposed to say, 'Hey Y/N wanna come to my house and see my shit bedroom, my mom and dad screaming at each other and our meth lab?!' She'd never go for a guy like me, dudes. And she deserves better than me." He said his head bowing to stare at the tiles of the corridor. His life really was a mess.

"And that's where the broship comes in, dude!" Eric exclaimed, the other boys staring at each other in confusion.

"I bet you $70 you won't ask her out by the end of the day!" Eric said, knowing Kenny couldn't pass up on money like that.

"And if you do, then the money will come in handy for a date right?" Eric said, a shit eating grin plastered upon his face.

"Fine." Kenny replied, saying nothing else before walking off to find you.

There you sat with the other girls, chatting about god knows what and eating your lunch. You could feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of your skull as you turned round, there he stood, your prince in an orange parka. You couldn't see it because of his hood, but he was smiling at you, and was that a blush on his cheeks?

You had serious love and feelings for Kenny, and you always had, but you knew he was a player, he had been with a lot of girls throughout the years, and he never ever chose you, maybe he just didn't see you that way.

He was nervous, a small bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He made his way over to you.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just being so close to you, girl?" Kenny flirted, causing a small blush to spread along your cheeks.

"What's up, Kenny?" You asked, offering him the half of your sandwich, he normally didn't have much food to eat, so you liked to help when you could. He great-fully accepted the kind offer and then bowed his head slightly, taking on a rather unusual mannerism for him. Normally he was so confident and cocky, but right now, he looked like he might pass out.

And he felt like it too!! Maybe he could just die accidentally and come back tomorr- No! He has to do this! It was now or never.

"Can I- um... can I talk to you about something?" Kenny asked, his gloved hands fidgeting together.

"Of course, Ken, we can talk about anything together! Do you wanna head somewhere more private?" You asked, as he simply nodded in reply, taking off a glove and offering his hand to you.

"I rolled a joint I didn't get to smoke before school today, wanna dip and go to the park?" Kenny questioned, his eyebrow quirking, hoping you'd be down.

"I have Mr Garrison's class after lunch so fuck yeah I wanna dip. My mom isn't home as usual, said she was going to get drugs last night and hasn't came back, so we can go smoke up at my house if you want? I've got frozen pizza!" You exclaimed, a large smile on your face. You could never pass up quality time with Kenny, you both knew that.

"That sounds like absolute bliss, babe. But when we smoke up, I really do need to talk to you about something." He stated, your hands now fully intertwined. As you guys approached the double doors of the school you passed Eric, Kyle and Stan, the three boys staring at you both, wide eyed and mouths wide.

"Hey, fuck you Kinny!" Eric shouted, handing him $70. "Make it last! God knows when you'd be able to get $70 again, Kinny!" He shouted loudly, the blonde boy smirking and flipping him off on his way out the door.

"Fuck you, dude! I'll text y'all later." He shouted back, the doors finally closing behind you both.

The walk was long and cold to your house, since you lived in the same part of town as Kenny, and the school bus wasn't running, since technically school was still in session. During the walk Kenny had shedded his jacket, putting it on you instead, making sure you didn't catch sick and kept warm in the never ending snow that resided in South Park.

Soon enough you were both in your bedroom, the window cracked slightly as Kenny sparked his lighter, taking a long, slow drag of the joint before passing it to you.

"So, what did you wanna talk about? Has your dad gone psycho again?" You asked, taking a few drags of the joint and passing it back to Kenny, your hands grazing slightly, and when you two touched, it felt electric.

He shook his head no. "No, for once it's not my parents." He laughed out, smoke coming down his nostrils.

"Then what's wrong, Ken?" You asked eyebrows raised as your studied your best friends face. He had a light dusting of freckles, soft, pale skin and the most perfect, light pink lips and of course you couldn't forget the adorable little gap in his teeth when he smiled at you. You were in love, you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember.

His hands were ice cold, the blood not reaching them due to the speed his heart was beating at.

"I um... I-" He stuttered, his cheeks a deep shade of crimson, as he quickly puffed on the joint you two shared, passing it to you, he should've asked if you had any vodka here that he could take a shot of, a little Dutch courage, but it was too late, he was already sitting here, your full attention on him as he became a stammering mess.

He took his gaze away from you before he said it, he actually had finally said it to you, and he did so as quickly as the words would come out of his mouth.

"Do you maybe wanna, I don't know, bemygirlfriend? I mean, only if you want to! If you don't, I totally understand, I wouldn't wanna be with me either, I mean, you deserve the world and I can barely afford to feed myself-"

You cut him off by grabbing the front of his t-shirt and pulling him towards you, your lips crashing against one another. You had waited for this since you were younger, you had always dreamed of being his, being his girl. And now you were!

His eyes fluttered closed, melting against you and wrapping his slender arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him on the bed. He had dreamt about this, he had wanked about this! More than once! He'd thought about how your boobs looked without any clothing covering them, how your nipple would feel in his mouth, how hard he could slap your ass, how tight you would feel around his coc-

You both parted ways, panting as you did, a string of salvia connecting your mouths. Both of you were blushing profusely, and Kenny shifted on the bed, feeling the tightness in his jeans starting to bother him.

"I've wanted to do that since the fourth grade." You said, almost in a whisper, only for Kenny to hear.

"Then let's go use this $70 fat ass gave me and I'll take you on our first official date!" Kenny said, a small smile on his lips as he kept his arms wrapped tightly around you, as if a gust of wind could blow you away from him.

"I love you, Kenny McCormick."

"I love you too, Y/N, and I always have." Kenny sighed, the relief he felt come crashing over him. He no longer had to keep it a secret, he loved you, and you loved him, and that was all the mattered. You made him want to stay alive, you made him happy, and you made him whole. I guess soul mates really do exist.

Hey guys!! I really hope you enjoyed this fic, I just kinda banged it out and I haven't checked any spelling or typos, so I'm really sorry about that, I just hope you all enjoy it. Kenny's a cute lil fluff, and I love writing for him, but I'll write for anyone from South Park so if you guys have any suggestions or requests please do send them my way!!

[skyevie]

I finally finished both mcl new gen episodes (kind of long post about my opinions and feelings)

Tbh I wasn't so sad about the old mcl coming to an end because I think when armin was removed back in hsl it just prepared me for whatever could come next LMAO. I am a big fan of Jason and Amanda, the rest of the Li's... are there I guess ! I think the new point system is kind of weird and overcomplicated for no reason, I really don't like the fact that we have to pay AP's for dialogue and clothes because I can either buy more clothing/recolors and be satisfied with how my character looks or save up for the new episodes... and the fact that you can't buy AP with money, only the blue hearts that can be traded for AP? (not to mention that the prices went up comparing to go mcl at least in my country) But you also need the blue hearts for those special moment with LI's every ep... like idk its sad that there is a part of content you can miss out because you simply don't want to spend money every time an ep is here lol. The missions (which is basically the eldarya expeditions) are fine since we get clothes for that. The calendar is a nice touch up because it's something new and refreshing. But the paid part and vip subscription and the clothes offers in the shop are the next thing that don't seat well with me.... Like we could get a little more for that price... especially since it rounds up to 120 dollars per year... And the fact that all the cute outfits are locked behind a daily shop rotation that have to use real money on... Oh and the last on the more negative side why does our uncle only give stuff for our fuckass goose.... We love you Taki but it's not that serious we could get like a t-shirt... or smth...

On the positives, I really like the fact that our Candy can have a personality now! Like finally we aren't a blank page that adjusts to the people we talk to and we can have opinions AND THEY MATTER! Also the clothes are much cuter, like finally someone thought - yes u can be an adult and have fun clothing and not dress boring! We love that! And I giggled to myself a little when I read why Candy switched her job lol. Reminder me of Eric's arc Eric we love you forever idc about what other said about your route.

At the end of the day I think I will try the vip for one month just to see is it really like worth it for someone who is going to be rather active on this game. Idk im excited for the plot tbh and especially how much it changes depending on the fact if we romance the Devenementiel LI's or Jason.

Also if anyone needs help with answers to the episodes I can help :3

[twistiraki]

Your wedding dance with the Twisted Wonderland Boys

🌹Riddle Rosehearts - "The Rose” Bette Midler 

As you sway to the gentle melody, Riddle pulls you closer and whispers, "I always thought love was foolish, but being with you has shown me that it's the most important thing in the world. I promise to always cherish you, protect you, and love you until the end of time."

❤️Ace Trappola - "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra

Ace Trappola spins you around the dance floor with ease, his eyes locked onto yours as you dance to "You always take my breath away," he says with a smile. "I promise to always make you laugh, to always be there for you when you need me. You're my partner in crime, now and forever."

♠️Deuce Spade - "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers

Deuce brushes a strand of hair out of your face as you dance and whispers, "You're the missing piece in my life, the one thing that makes everything make sense. I promise to always be your support, your confidante, and your partner in everything we do."

♣️Trey Clover - "At Last" by Etta James

Trey Clover pulls you close as you dance, his hand entwined with yours. "You make every moment feel like it's meant to be," he says softly. "I promise to always cherish you, to always respect you, and to always be the one you can turn to no matter what."

♦️Cater Diamond - "Marry you" by Bruno Mars

Cater Diamond looks into your eyes as you dance. His voice full of emotion. "I love you more than words can say," he says earnestly. "I promise to always be there for you, to always make you feel loved, and to always make every moment with you count."

🦁Leona Kingscholar - "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran

Leona holds you tightly as you dance, his voice low and sincere. "Now I’m truly in Upendi," he says, his eyes locked onto yours. "I promise to always be your protector, your king, and your biggest supporter in everything you do."

🍩Ruggie Bucchi - "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton

Ruggie pulls you close as you dance to the song, his voice soft and sincere. "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life," he says with a smile. "I promise to always make you feel special, to always be your best friend, and to always love you with all my heart."

🐺Jack Howl - "All of Me" by John Legend

As you sway to the music, Jack looks into your eyes with love and adoration. "You complete me," he says, his voice full of emotion. "I promise to always be your mate, your confidante, and your rock in everything we do."

🐙Azul Ashengrotto - "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra

Azul twirls you around the dance floor with a smile as you dances. You are my sun, my moon, and my stars," he says with a grin. "I promise to always make you feel loved, to always make you feel like the most important person in the world, and to always be there for you whenever you need me. On both land and sea."

🍄Jade Leech - "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" by Frankie Valli

Jade holds you close as you dance to the upbeat doo-wop tune, his voice full of joy. "You're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me," he says with a grin. "I promise to always be at your service, whenever you call, and to always make sure you're happy."

👟Floyd Leech - "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King

Floyd sways with you to the beat of the music, his voice full of warmth. "You are my shrimpy," he says grinning. "I promise to always be there for you, to always support you, and to always be the one you can turn to no matter what. Together, we can conquer the world."

🦦Kalim Al-Asim - "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri

Kalim looks into your eyes as you dance to the romantic song, his voice full of love. "I knew from the moment I met you that you were the one," he says, his hand on your cheek. “You are my whole new world," he says. "I promise to always love you, to always cherish you, Together, we can make our dreams come true."

🐍Jamil Viper - "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain

As you sway to the tune,, Jamil pulls you close and whispers, "You're everything I ever wanted in a partner, in a soulmate, and in a friend. I promise to always be there for you, to always support you, and to always love you with everything I am. I trust you with my heart."

🪞Vil Schoenheit - "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston

As you dance with Vil, he holds you close and whispers in your ear, "You are the light of my life. I will always love you, no matter what happens." You smile and feel a tear roll down your cheek.”Finally I get to play the hero in my own story. My own happy ending.”

🏹Rook Hunt - "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole

Rook looks at you with a smile and says, "You are unforgettable," he says. "I promise to always cherish every moment we spend together, to always come to your needs, and to always love you with all my heart. J’taime." Together, you dance the night away, lost in each other's love.

🍎Epel Felmier - "When You Say Nothing at All" by Ronan Keating

As you dance with Epel, he pulls you close and whispers, "I don't need words to express how much I love you. Just being with you, dancing with you, is enough for me." You smile and hold him tighter.”Thank you for taking me for who I am.”

💀Idia Shroud - "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls

As you dance with Idia, he holds you gently and sings along with the song. "And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." You feel a warmth in your heart..”Thank you for making my small family a little bit bigger.”

🤖Ortho Shroud - "Turning Page" by Sleeping At Last

As you dance with Ortho, he takes your hand and twirls you around. "You make me feel like I'm living in a fairytale," he says, "and I never want this moment to end." You giggle and feel your heart flutter.”You are the one that brightens my world with new things every day!”

🐉Malleus Draconia - "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley

As you dance with Malleus, he holds you tightly. He takes your hand and says, "Every time I look at you, I fall in love all over again. You are my heart and my soulmate, and I promise to love and protect you always."

🦇Lilia Vanrouge - "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

As you dance with Lilia, he looks at you with a soft smile. "With you, I've found my own little world, a place where we can be together and forget about everything else." You feel a sense of belonging and lean into him.

💤Silver - "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

Silver looks into your eyes with a soft smile. He whispers in your ear, "You mean everything to me. I promise to always be here for you, no matter what. I don't want to miss a single moment with you. You are my dream come true."

⚡Sebek Zigvolt - "You Are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne

As you dance with Sebek, he looks into your eyes with a tender smile. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me," he exclaims loudly, "and I will always treasure every moment we spend together. "You are My human." You feel your heart skip a beat and smile back at him.

[harrisonarchive]

From George's turn as Pirate Bob on Rutland Weekend Television. 1975. (More from that appearance here, and the backstory here.)

“I felt like I’d known them [Monty Python] all for years, because I’d watched all the programs and had had them on videotape. So it only took ten minutes before we were the best of friends.” - George Harrison, Rolling Stone, April 19, 1979 “Even when we first met I felt like I’d known him forever. Not the Beatle George, he never seemed like that to me, nor the bearded garden gnome George, but the man, the real man with the deep, dark eyes and the crooked grin and the loud laugh. [...] I never knew a man like him. It was as if we fell in love. His attention, his concern, his loving friendship was so strong and powerful that it encompassed your entire life. You felt comfortable and secure. We would stay up all night and talk for hours about our lives, about the hurts and pains, about the groups we had been in and the trying emotional strains and problems that being in such groups entails. He was always full of spiritual comfort, counsel, and advice. He saw everything from the cosmic point of view. Our deaths were natural and unavoidable, and he viewed everything from that perspective, even then in the mid-seventies. He had come off a tour of America, where things had been unpleasant for him. The ‘Dark Hoarse Tour,’ he called it. His pseudonym — for hotels, security (and guitar picks) — had been Jack Lumber. (He was always a raving certified Python fanatic as, of course, I had always been a raving certified Beatle fan.) Drugs and brandy had ruined his voice on that tour, and I think he had set out to challenge and defy the expectations of his North American audiences, presenting Ravi Shankar and the Indian music first and then doing jokey versions of various of his songs. The good news was that he met Olivia, the love of his life, and retired to Friar Park, where he felt safe and from where he would rarely emerge. Here he would discover the other great love of his, gardening, which became a living example of his concern to create beauty on the planet wherever he could. […] [H]e won my heart and I fell in love with him and am filled with that love to this day.” - Eric Idle, The Greedy Bastard Diary (x)

[80ssuperstar]

Hey guys this is Samantha again and I decided to do another story based on The Little mermaid and this is a gift for @eeveepalooza I decided to make the characters including Faith ( @eeveepalooza ) as Ariel and Mordecai from Regular Show as Prince Eric

The Little Eevee

Beginning:

Once upon a time, in a magical underwater kingdom, lived Faith the Eevee, a curious and adventurous young Eevee with a beautiful singing voice. She was the youngest daughter of King Triton, the powerful and protective ruler of the underwater kingdom. However, Faith was fascinated with the world above the sea and often collected human artifacts with her best friend Flounder.

Scene: Faith's Secret Grotto

Faith: singing "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?"

Flounder: "Faith, you’re gonna get in trouble if your dad finds out about this place!"

Faith: "I just want to know more about them, Flounder. The humans seem so interesting."

One day, Faith notices a ship above the water and swims up to investigate. Onboard, she sees Prince Mordecai, a handsome and kind-hearted prince. Instantly, Faith falls in love with him. Suddenly, a violent storm hits, and Mordecai is thrown overboard. Faith saves him and brings him to shore.

Faith: "Please be safe, my prince. I wish I could be part of your world."

Middle:

Faith's longing to be with Mordecai grows stronger. She goes to see Ursula, the sea witch, who agrees to turn her into a human for three days in exchange for her voice. Faith accepts the deal and transforms into a human, with the condition that she must receive a "true love's kiss" from Mordecai to remain human forever. Otherwise, she will turn back into an Eevee and belong to Ursula.

Ursula: "Now sing, sing for your dear sea witch!"

Faith: silently "I can't believe I did this. I hope Mordecai will love me without my voice."

Faith, now on land, meets Mordecai, who is enchanted by her beauty but puzzled by her silence. Despite the communication barrier, they spend time together and begin to form a bond.

Mordecai: "There's something about you, Faith. I feel like I've met you before."

As the third day approaches, Ursula disguises herself as a beautiful human named Vanessa and uses Faith's voice to enchant Mordecai, making him forget about Faith and decide to marry Vanessa.

Mordecai: "I can't believe it, Vanessa is the girl who saved me!"

End:

Heartbroken, Faith is determined to stop the wedding. With the help of her friends, including Flounder and Sebastian, they manage to reveal Ursula's deception. The sea witch transforms back into her true form and tries to take Faith down to the ocean.

Sebastian: "Quickly, Faith! You must break the spell!"

In the ensuing battle, King Triton arrives and sacrifices himself to save Faith, becoming Ursula's prisoner. Seeing Faith's bravery and love for her father, Mordecai realizes that she is the one who saved him.

Mordecai: "Faith, I know it's you! I love you!"

He kisses Faith, breaking the spell. King Triton is freed, and in his rage, he destroys Ursula with his powerful trident.

King Triton: "You have shown great courage, Faith. You truly belong to both worlds."

King Triton, seeing his daughter's happiness, grants Faith her wish to be human permanently. Faith and Mordecai marry, uniting the two worlds.

Faith: "Thank you, Father. I will always cherish our underwater home."

Mordecai: "We'll visit often, I promise."

And so, Faith the Eevee and Prince Mordecai lived happily ever after, celebrating their love and the unity of land and sea.

THE END

@eeveepalooza I hope you love this

For: @fxe4596 , @nicomxm23 , @mordorigs , @jgquintelslut , @pinkcandycatmakesart , @anifaz , @isrrael120 , @notadumbdog , @martingeekermmd , @eeveepalooza , @apollothedeity , @sidoresca , @siinhorhy , @insomniacz , @rhyliethecaterfly , @yeetafry , @at-weeb96 , @kiwithekool11437 , @kiko2032 , @orchestralauthor , @untitled14360 , @loudlyhappycupcake

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers :) Holy hell can’t believe we're at the finale already. Granted only ten eps but still haha They really made these ten eps count. Can only wonder what a full season would’ve been like. But we can’t live in that realm. This finale minus the Monica crap didn’t care about was real good for our ship.

Also SO excited I got to mainly use pretty gifs from our wonderful gif makers in this one. They create them for us to use and I'm forever grateful. I love that I have the option to use my own if I need it. But much rather use these beautiful gifs if I can help it. First one in awhile been able to. Also proud of myself for getting this out right before my road trip. Moving to another state is a struggle. You hate all your belongings towards the end lol Also with Tumblr being a dick and erasing my edits twice.... But here it is despite all that . Let’s get started.

6x10 Escape Plan

For the sake of GIF space, and wanting to focus on the Chenford in this ep, I'm not going to do GIFs of her UC mission. I will do a quick rundown of what went down. Lucy’s priority is to get evidence linking Blair to Monica. They end up getting that link through Blair herself because of Nolan. Lucy finds out about the hit at the laundromat Monica is paying Batista for though. She is offing a former ally cause she's the absolute worst. Lucy is no longer needed as a Nanny after this with the family taking off.

They've decided to go to ground after this. Lucy is convinced it'll be easy to collar them though. Which leads us to this fantastic little moment. Lucy folds into the OP since she isn’t needed as a UC anymore. Tim does not take his eyes off her from the moment she enters the scene. It’s unreal. Be more in love with her Timothy I dare you. Look at that man above. This mini moment is so soft. The wording, the heart eyes, and how Angela is looking between them.

She knows they’re still in love with each other. Anyone with eyes can see that. It literally pours out of these two without them even noticing. Angela sure notices hehe She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. Melissa and Eric are damn treasure to make such a mini moment so soft and perfect. Got me squeeing to death over here. You can see he’s much happier with her apart of this OP. It’s so lovely. Brief but beautiful. Love our ship.

This scene is the second best of the episode. It’s the first time they’ve really had alone time together since the breakup. Now this isn’t the adult convo they need to have here. BUT this is a HUGE development in terms of communication. Especially from Tim. He’s the one to start and share. He’s grown so much I could cry. This conversation just shows how far he’s come and he is respecting Lucy’s boundaries in the process of this convo.

He’s opening up to her but also doing it on her terms. He doesn’t want to dump his feelings all over her. Because he lost that right when he broke them up. What he is doing is being vulnerable so Lucy knows what an impact she’s made on him. It’s a massive massive growth scene for Tim. It starts out with him sharing he took her advice about therapy. Lucy looks closed off as she should be at first. Saying and?

Tim makes a crack about her being a blackmailing psychopath. Because the jokes help him be vulnerable with her. We all know how much he hates to be that even with Lucy. So this is such good progress for him. Lucy lets him know that’s not normal what happened to him lol I've had two and that most definitely has not happened to me haha You can tell she’s excited he’s gone and doesn’t want him to sour on it cause of Blair. This convo alone proves how much it’s done for him so she wants him to know that. Always watching out for him, no matter what I love it. *happy sigh*

It's fascinating to watch Lucy soften the more he speaks about it. She remains cautious, and rightfully so. But she is intently listening and absorbing everything he’s saying. Tim letting her know the irony was she was a good therapist. And she was there was no doubt about that. She got him to go and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. After being in therapy and having it continually make my life better I so relate with his replies.

How she opened doors to things he didn’t even know was there. You can see he is pensive but lighter as he says this. When you unearth stuff and give it room to breathe. Process what it is. You feel so much better. For me always starts out with this uneasy pressure and fire in my belly. The anxiety and uncomfortableness of it.

Then by the time we’re done dissecting it that feeling is gone and I feel noticeably lighter. Guarantee you was the same for him. You can tell by how he talks about it. Look at how Lucy is looking at him as he speaks. She can sense it too. Gah it’s so good. She is so impressed and proud of him. Look at her face in the first two gifs. It says it all to me. Melissa, like Eric, has a remarkable ability to convey so much emotion through her eyes. Why we have a super couple everyone. Our actors who portray them are superb.

Tim goes on to say now those confessions are being dissected. Up in the cloud for some FBI IT guy to come un-encrypt them. I hate that so much for him. No doubt the confessions he had were very raw and vulnerable. To have them exposed has to be so violating. I know I would be feeling incredibly violated if mine were leaked. It’s supposed to be a safe space to work your crap out. Be emotional, vulnerable, and talk your feelings out. Which is so hard for our boy.

Wish we could've seen his sessions. But they didn't have time with ten eps. Maybe S7? Tim continuing on to say how they’re going to be analyzed for evidentiary value. I hate that so much. Tim is putting a light spin on it. But we know deep down how much that bothers him. If they were in a better spot or even together he would voice that. But they’re not there yet. Lucy looks at him with a soft smile though. One betraying her feelings for this man. Telling him she’s sorry. Because she really is. Last thing she'd ever want for him.

Lucy then asks if he said anything revealing about her? Because of course he did. There’s no way in hell that man didn’t talk about her. She was one of the main reasons he sought out therapy. But there’s nothing to be done about what he revealed at this point. What’s done is done as they say. His joke had me cracking up so very much. I know it was misinterpreted by some. Wondering if he was deflecting.

He was not. He clearly said intimate and personal things in his sessions. Like I said earlier supposed to be a safe space to do so. But given where they are right now. The fact that this is their first real convo in almost four episodes he keeps it light. Maybe someday when they’re back together they can dip their toe back in but that time is not now. As I said in the very beginning of this scene. He is respecting her boundaries in this moment.

Doing this for couple reasons. One making light of it because he’s feeling vulnerable in this moment. Two he wants to lighten the mood because this is a serious subject. I wanna cry at how much he’s grown to even be vulnerable enough to share this with her. Her reply reminded me of 5x21 when she asked Tim if he missed her? It’s so cute and such a light hearted way to end this scene. This scene represents significant growth for him and for their relationship. They’re on the road to slowly healing and I’m here for it.

The hit was pops off. Tim sees one of the guys taking a truck to escape. He pursues him alone and jumps in back. Luckily his wife sees this and takes off after her man. Doesn’t waste anytime going after him. I love it sfm. When the chips are down they are just there for each other. I’ll forever love how fiercely protective they are of one another. Makes my heart swell with shippy happiness. Angela joins Lucy in the pursuit of Tim.

We watch as Lucy is having a panic attack watching Tim struggle. He is losing the battle quickly and she cannot just sit there and let him get hurt or worse. The love of her life is being demolished in this fight. She physically can’t stand it and tells Angela to take the wheel. Angela is floored by her determination to get to him. If you weren’t already impressed with the BAMF Lucy Chen has become. You will be now. Look at how she jumps onto that truck.

The music once again perfection as the scene unfolds. She is fueled by the need to protect her person and some adrenaline to go along with it. I love Tim’s face when she appears. So thankful she is there because he was NOT I repeat not winning. He was upside down so quickly. It’s why Lucy is there saving him. They immediately fall back into the well oiled machine they are in the field. Taking down this guy together. Always say they look like poetry in motion at work this scene is continual proof of that.

I love the looks they share in the cab. Tim’s far more telling than hers. Looks like he’s falling in love with her all over again For the second episode in a row. Floored by the cop she’s become. How amazing she was to make that jump and save his ass. He is forever in awe of this woman in front of him. Saying so much with just a look there Timothy. You are at work put those heart eyes away haha Actually don’t I love it so much. You can see the utter reverence in his eyes for her. Does my shippy soul good to see it.

The look Tim gives her outside the truck is EVERYTHING. She just risked her life to save him. That man is in shock. After everything he did. The fact that she would risk her life for him like that.... He can't believe it. That’s the face of a man astonished by the woman standing before him. She did it because she still loves you my silly goober of a man. But we will get there I’m sure of it. Like I said earlier this is a slow healing and I’m ready for the ride. I really am.

So much is being said with these looks and no words are even spoken. That’s the beauty of our ship right here. That silent communication only they have. How they can convey so much with just a look. God I love this ship. There’s a reason they’ve had a stranglehold on me for years. Tim cannot take his eyes off the woman in front of him. I love it so much.

T.O. Tim would’ve lost his mind at her action. In love Tim can’t stop being in awe of her for it. I can’t get over how he is looking at her. It’s so telling. Lucy is reciprocating will a look of her own. Their instinct to reach out to each other but they hold back. *sigh*. Such a an incredible fight scene. Our ship got back to back finales with bad ass fight scenes. I love watching them in the field. That’s where their roots begin. Why I love it so much.

We start off the glorious elevator scene. (And fantastic song in the background. Can't praise the music department enough.)We get back to back goodies in this space too. The scene we’re about to embark on is beautifully done. Eric and Melissa doing what they do best. Knocking it out of the park with their skills and chemistry. I love Tim’s 'Lucy smile' being in full force as she walks up to him. *happy sigh* That man could not be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy isn’t holding back with the heart eyes when he’s not looking either. Her being the one to crack the joke is precious. Lightening the vibe instantly.

Making a crack about his injury. Her way of showing she cares without it getting too personal. Because they just aren’t there yet and ya know that’s ok. This is going to be a slow burn to reconciliation. I’m actually pretty excited about it. Tim returns her affections with a joke of his own. Saying slacker is his middle name haha Ever the gentlemen let’s Lucy go on first. They settle into the elevator with some charged energy. Lucy retreats into the back of it. Not ready to be standing that close to him yet.

Wanting to keep whatever this interaction may be brief. She’s still hurting and it shows. Also, knowing the magnetic pull of theirs too strong for her to tempt fate by being closer to him. Tim feels this too as he settles in. Doesn’t push it. His spatial awareness around her remains considerate. Stays out of her bubble for the most part. The growth train with Tim continues. I’m floored by this scene everyone. Just floored. Also proud and astonished by this man. Opening up to not once but TWICE in the same episode.

Let us delve into this wonderful scene with how Tim opens it up. His back to her still. Respecting this physical boundary she has set up. I wanna start by saying watch Lucy in the background as he speaks. He only slightly turns his body so he can’t fully see it. The look of apprehension present? Yes. She is like a wounded animal, not sure if she can trust the man in front of her fully. But she cannot for the life of her keep the love and reverence out of her eyes. She does it the entire scene.

Just because she can’t trust him yet doesn’t mean she isn’t still madly in love this man. Her actions in the OP proving as much. Tim leads off with her saving his life. Blatantly stating she saved his life. Who are you and what have you done with Tim Bradford? Lucy deflects because she doesn’t know how to handle this new Tim. One who is graciously giving her credit. Lucy is feeling vulnerable herself and pushing it away. Telling Tim he had him. Honey, you don’t jump onto a moving truck out another vehicle in motion if he had him lol

Tim refuses to take ANY credit for this. Telling her basically how fucked he was in that moment. Reminding her of his predicament. Letting her know how much he DID NOT have him. He knows he screwed up in his approach and she saved him from his mistake. The growth here makes me wanna cry. They are happy tears don’t worry. The more I go through this season the more I’m glad we had this all happen. I know you must think I’m crazy for saying that. But it’s true.

Can you imagine S1 Tim acknowledging his mistake and showing gratitude to Lucy for saving him? Hell, even S5 Tim, who is madly in love with her, couldn’t share the credit in 5x05 for her saving his life in the pilot. This is a much different Tim Bradford we are looking at folks. Despite all the crap with Dr. London he has grown. Their fallout brought him to a place where he could. To the point where he is thanking her for saving him. No bravado. No tough Tim. Just vulnerability plain and simple. Not only that but sincere gratitude.

Lucy can see the vulnerability he is displaying to her. She can feel how sincere his words are because she knows this man. Back in 6x09 she asked John how he sounded. Because she can determine everything about where is by the tone of his voice. Lucy can’t even see his face really but can tell how sincere he is being by his voice.

That’s why we get this incredibly soft look from her. Heart eyes galore as she tells him ‘You’re welcome.’ As I stated earlier she may not trust him right now. But god is she is so in love with this man. It’s written all over how she is staring at him as she replies above.

Getting me all in my shippy feels and igniting my excitement. I have no doubt Tim feels she doesn’t love him anymore. If he turned around and saw her revealing look of love he would know. But he doesn’t. Being respectful of her space in this moment he keeps his back turned.

It’s here we see Tim internalizing everything. Gathering up the courage to turn around and tell her what’s been on his heart. Something I’m sure has been rattling around in his head since he started therapy. Their hug in this very elevator likely intensified these feelings even more. The kindness and empathy she showed him. Even though he felt unworthy of it. It stirred something up in him. Realizing again what he once had that he so hastily threw away. Once again Eric be killing me with his expressiveness. Tim finds the courage to turn around and speak his peace.

We watch him be vulnerable and open up to her for the third time in this ep. Second time just in this moment. Once I was shocked and proud enough. But three all together? I’m damn right giddy at this point. He starts off STRONG. Admitting he knows he ruined everything. This is HUGE. Finally admitting fault to her. The fact that he knows this and is acknowledging it. *screams into a pillow* It's everything we've waited for. It’s an incredible start to this part. So many were mad at him in 6x07. It wasn’t fair or just to Tim. He needed time to get here. Lucy may need her own therapy and growth. But is little more evolved in the emotional game than Tim.

Also it's WHY he needed therapy in the first place. Wasn’t fair to expect that out the gate for him pre-therapy. You don’t get his character if that’s what you expected IMO. Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true. It’s what makes this scene even more satisfying. To watch him make the journey to this moment with her. To let her know he screwed up royally. That he wouldn’t have blamed her for turning on him. He made it easy to. This second line showing he still has growth to do. To get to the place where he knows Lucy love him through anything. But he’s a WIP as we all are lol

Lucy isn’t sure she is ready for this conversation. We can see that she struggles to even make eye contact with him. Like I said earlier, she’s having a hard time trusting him, let alone accepting this newer side of Tim. It’s a lot for her to take in post OP. She’s also still harboring a lot of anger towards him. You can see it percolating all over her expression. Tears forming in her eyes. Threatening to fall at any second. Melissa out here trying kill me with her amazing acting.

That anger is ever present and hasn't really had a chance to breathe or surface at all. I mentioned in 6x09 that she hadn't really dealt with the trauma of their breakup fully. Her reaction above is proof of that. This is why she’s letting him know he doesn’t have to do this. Because, deep down, this is what she’s wanted, but she isn’t sure she is actually ready for it. She hasn't sorted through her own feelings and anger fully about all this. Fingers crossed s7 does that or she is there by then. Also Lucy is trying to give Tim an out he is REFUSING to take with her reply.

Tim isn’t going to let this moment pass by without saying this. He is trying to repair them with something he should’ve done long ago. Communication. Honest communication with her. It’s on his heart to do this and nothing is stopping him. It’s here he says a line that makes us all swoon. Makes us all wanna kiss him for. Also, it's making me incredibly emotional in the process. He’s just so god damn sincere it’s making my heart ache in the best way. Letting her know she will never know how much he appreciates her kindness.

Because to Tim he felt so unworthy of it. He felt that way before they broke up. Her continuing to be the same caring empathetic person to him afterwards? Blowing his mind. Also reminding him of this incredible person he let slip through his fingers. It’s an epiphany he’s having here in this moment. What he’s really thanking her for is far more than just the truck and their elevator hug.

She’s shown him her kindness and big heart since the start of their relationship. When he was a dumpster fire and all she could see was his good heart. The man that was beneath all the damage. Lucy has been a constant source of joy, positivity and love in his life. He would be remiss not to thank her for all that she has done for him. This is extending for their whole relationship IMO. His words holding extra meaning in that regard. Thanking her for their entire relationship.

This next part is friggin EVERYTHING. This is Tim acknowledging he took her choice and voice away in 6x06. He is giving her all the say in this moment. Letting her know he will spend the rest of his life trying to pay her back. Which makes my heart happy on so many levels. Wanting to EARN his spot back at her side. Not just waltzing back in. He wants to demonstrate his commitment and win back his place in her life. Gah it’s so good.

I can't wait to see what does for his small doses in s7. Also, there’s something so beautiful about Lucy just being Lucy that reminds him why he fell in love with her in the first place. About what he has lost as well. Knowing this incredible person needs to be earned back. He then follows it up with whatever small doses she allows. Which is now on HER terms. He’s giving Lucy her voice and choice back.

Things he robbed her of in their breakup. Took away her agency when he did these things. Beautiful thing is he recognizes this and is letting her know. Not only does he have a lot to make up for, but if she allows him to, it’ll be fully on her terms and say. You’re dead inside if you weren’t tearing up in this moment. I was a mess. Also If you can’t see the enormous amount of growth this moment represents I can’t help you lol

Lucy’s guarded but softened look says everything. How she is longing to let him back in but can’t just yet. Almost like how a rescue animal would react. The need to want to trust is there. But it hasn’t been rebuilt yet. She is hesitant to truly trust in it. Lucy is floored by the man standing in front of her though. The myriad of emotions coursing through her is reflected above. Just look at her eyes alone. It’s here we can see her soften a little. Defrost a bit. She’s not there yet but she will be. We all love Lucy for her loving and forgiving heart. I don’t see why she wouldn’t let him back in if he continues this growth. This desire to make things right between them.

Working on himself to be better. Regaining his place in her life. Something he wants so badly but realizes he needs to earn back. There is a great quote from Ted Lasso that fits perfectly here. "I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather by the strength we show when and if we're ever given a second chance." I remember there being a small faction of people being nasty about Tim still. How they never wanted Lucy to forgive him. It was those same people who were terrible about his mental health crisis too. Showing their emotional immaturity once again. Made my blood boil.

I avoided the Chenford tag because couldn't take the outrageous takes they were spewing. Here is what I have to say to those people. One. I hope you never make a mistake in your life then. Because the way you want this man to be treated is with zero empathy or compassion. I highly doubt you'd want that for yourself. Second refer to the quote above. No one should be defined by the actions of their weakest moments. That's not who Lucy Chen is. There is no way she would hold this against someone she loves forever. Tim is going to earn her back I guarantee you that. He is going to show strength when given that second chance. Mark my words.

Tim gives her the sweetest Lucy smile before he turns back around. Feeling better having shared a piece of himself with her. Proud of himself for being vulnerable with her even though scared him to death. Written all over his face in the second gif. But he couldn't let her leave that elevator without letting her know he was going to put the work in. Going to try and fix what he so hastily broke.

It’s once again how Lucy is looking at him when he turns back around that gets me. That longing to reach out to him but keeping herself from doing as such. Keeping herself rooted to that wall in an effort to stop herself from reaching out like she longs to. If you were wondering if she was still in love with him look at her. That is the face of a woman who is still so in love with the man before her.

Tim tops it off with bidding her good night. Nothing more nothing less. He said what he needed to say. It’s up to Lucy to accept it or ignore it completely. It’s her prerogative either way. Which is the impression he wanted to leave her with. Lucy keeping that longing but questioning look up as she follows him out below. We can see her starting to see the change in him as she does. First he tells her he's gone to therapy and now this. I saw a something the other day it said 'An apology isn't one if there isn't changed behavior.' Tim is exhibiting changed behavior here.

Lucy is feeling torn between staying mad or starting to heal. Wanting desperately to believe in his words. That is written all over her face as she exits the elevator. We see her face change into a small smile at the end. It's not in this gif but she does. This was the start to healing everyone. Also was the perfect way to end the season for them IMO. Why you ask? Because it didn’t need to more than this. Anything more would be been a disservice to this SL they created. Would’ve made breaking them up pointless. It had to have a purpose and this was it. Growth. Also this scene is a promise for s7.

I know some wanted a frantic hook up but it wasn't right to do so. They are not ready to be back together yet. Both have a lot of work to do before we get there. How they ended them for the season was *chefs kiss* It ended with Tim acknowledging the wrong he had done and what he’s going to do to make it up. That’s what makes s7 so exciting. I think he will continue therapy. I really do. I also think we’re about to see a determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends. Get to see a side of him we haven’t seen before and that excites me to no end.

Because Lucy Chen brings out the best in this man. And s7 is going to reflect that. As much as this season ripped my heart out. Truly I haven’t been this devastated by a couple in half a decade at least. If not a little more tbh. But rewatching this and having a better insight to it. I’m glad they did this. We all love Lucy rebuilding him and loving him into a better version of himself. Don’t get me wrong I love that. She changed his life dramatically for the better. Thing is she was his safety blanket emotionally.

I said this back in 6x07 that it was Tim’s journey to go on not Lucy’s. It was his problem to fix. She couldn’t fix what was wrong inside him. Only therapy and putting in the work was going to get that done. Their breakup was an eventuality without Tim growing. When they get back together (which they will) we will be grateful for the painful growth this season gave them. Said this before. Rather have them evolve snd grow as characters than be puddle deep like Bailian.

We’re going to get a stronger and even better version of Chenford in s7. Better version of them as characters as well. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. Because it wouldn’t be right or realistic to rush them back together. I’m ready for the slow burn of s7. I really am. It's going to make when they get back together all the more sweet. I’ll be excited when we lose our minds collectively when it does. Also enjoying the journey it’ll take to get us there. I might do minis for s7 too. I’ll post something when we get closer to that if that’s someone people want.

Until then remember our ship is the best ship on this show. They’ll find their way back to each other. When they do it’s going to make it all worth it ❤️ Also the link above is for the song in the elevator. Whoever is in charge if music is truly gifted at what they do. Every song was lyrically perfect or just musically apt for the moment it was in. Thank you to everyone once again for the likes, comments (please leave comments haha I love them sfm) Reblogs they make all The effort so worth it. Shall see you all in s7 :)

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Side notes-Non Chenford

More creepy waking up with Bailian. I don’t get get them as a couple. I really don’t. Like watching paint dry.

Loved Aaron's mic drop of a moment with Dr. London. Well done sir. Shall miss you. Come and visit eh? Maybe for a wedding...

[duckprintspress]

8 Epistolary Books for World Letter Writing Day

Today, September 1st, is World Letter Writing Day. to celebrate, we asked our contributors about their favorite books with a prominent role of letters (both traditional and electronic). Some of these books are fully epistolary, in some, letters play an important part in the story. Contributors to this list are: Shea Sullivan, Alex, Shadaras, Polls, Sanne and boneturtle.

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This Is How You Lose the Time War by Max Gladstone & Amal El-Mohtar

Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, becomes something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future.

Except the discovery of their bond would mean the death of each of them. There’s still a war going on, after all. And someone has to win. That’s how war works, right?

Cowritten by two beloved and award-winning sci-fi writers, This Is How You Lose the Time War is an epic love story spanning time and space.

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The Tiger’s Daughter (Ascendant series) by K. Arsenault Rivera

Even gods can be slain….

The Hokkaran empire has conquered every land within their bold reach―but failed to notice a lurking darkness festering within the people. Now, their border walls begin to crumble, and villages fall to demons swarming out of the forests.

Away on the silver steppes, the remaining tribes of nomadic Qorin retreat and protect their own, having bartered a treaty with the empire, exchanging inheritance through the dynasties. It is up to two young warriors, raised together across borders since their prophesied birth, to save the world from the encroaching demons.

This is the story of an infamous Qorin warrior, Barsalayaa Shefali, a spoiled divine warrior empress, O-Shizuka, and a power that can reach through time and space to save a land from a truly insidious evil.

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The Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison

This is not the story you think it is. These are not the characters you think they are. This is not the book you are expecting.

In an alternate 1880s London, angels inhabit every public building, and vampires and werewolves walk the streets with human beings in a well-regulated truce. A fantastic utopia, except for a few things: Angels can Fall, and that Fall is like a nuclear bomb in both the physical and metaphysical worlds. And human beings remain human, with all their kindness and greed and passions and murderous intent.

Jack the Ripper stalks the streets of this London too. But this London has an Angel. The Angel of the Crows.

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Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca

A whirlpool of darkness churns at the heart of a macabre ballet between two lonely young women in an internet chat room in the early 2000’s – a darkness that threatens to forever transform them once they finally succumb to their most horrific desires.

What have you done today to deserve your eyes?

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Always Human by Ari North

In the near-future, people use technology to give the illusion of all kinds of body modifications-but some people have “Egan’s Syndrome,” a highly sensitive immune system that rejects these “mods” and are unable to use them. Those who are affected maintain a “natural” appearance, reliant on cosmetics and hair dye at most to help them play with their looks.

Sunati is attracted to Austen the first time she sees her and is drawn to what she assumes is Austen’s bravery and confidence to live life unmodded. When Sunati learns the truth, she’s still attracted to Austen and asks her on a date. Gradually, their relationship unfolds as they deal with friends, family, and the emotional conflicts that come with every romance. Together, they will learn and grow in a story that reminds us no matter how technology evolves, we will remain . . . always human.

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Affinity by Sarah Waters

Set in and around the women’s prison at Milbank in the 1870s, Affinity is an eerie and utterly compelling ghost story, a complex and intriguing literary mystery and a poignant love story with an unexpected twist in the tale. Following the death of her father, Margaret Prior has decided to pursue some ‘good work’ with the lady criminals of one of London’s most notorious gaols. Surrounded by prisoners, murderers and common thieves, Margaret feels herself drawn to one of the prisons more unlikely inmates – the imprisoned spiritualist – Selina Dawes. Sympathetic to the plight of this innocent-seeming girl, Margaret sees herself dispensing guidance and perhaps friendship on her visits, little expecting to find herself dabbling in a twilight world of seances, shadows, unruly spirits and unseemly passions.

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A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan series) by Arkady Martine

Ambassador Mahit Dzmare arrives in the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire only to discover that her predecessor, the previous ambassador from their small but fiercely independent mining Station, has died. But no one will admit that his death wasn’t an accident—or that Mahit might be next to die, during a time of political instability in the highest echelons of the imperial court.

Now, Mahit must discover who is behind the murder, rescue herself, and save her Station from Teixcalaan’s unceasing expansion—all while navigating an alien culture that is all too seductive, engaging in intrigues of her own, and hiding a deadly technological secret—one that might spell the end of her Station and her way of life—or rescue it from annihilation.

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Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire series) by Yoon Ha Lee

When Captain Kel Cheris of the hexarchate is disgraced for her unconventional tactics, Kel Command gives her a chance to redeem herself, by retaking the Fortress of Scattered Needles from the heretics. Cheris’s career isn’t the only thing at stake: if the fortress falls, the hexarchate itself might be next.

Cheris’s best hope is to ally with the undead tactician Shuos Jedao. The good news is that Jedao has never lost a battle, and he may be the only one who can figure out how to successfully besiege the fortress. The bad news is that Jedao went mad in his first life and massacred two armies, one of them his own.

As the siege wears on, Cheris must decide how far she can trust Jedao – because she might be his next victim.

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What are your favorite epistolary queer books? Tell us in the comments!

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