#End of Life Care

[coffinup]

I know I’m a bit late, but I wanted to say HAPPY PRIDE!

The deathcare profession is becoming a lot more diverse as more and more young people come into it, and it’a great to see. I personally work with several fellow lgbtqia+ people at my funeral home and it’s such a nice feeling of solidarity in an industry that is historically white, male and cisgendered.

Along with the progress though, I also think it’s very important to talk about what everyone can do to help protect themselves and their identities when their time comes.

I think of a case years back of a trans woman whose hair was cut and who was put in a suit by her family’s request for her visitation, because she’d passed away in an accident, and her parents were her next of kin, they completely disregarded and disrespected her identity after she died.

If you are a queer person, especially someone who identifies with a different gender than you were assigned at birth, and don’t feel comfortable with the idea of your family being in charge of your end of life care or funeral arrangements, there are a couple of things you can do:

-Fill out an Advance Directive. This is sometimes called a Durable Power of Attorney or a Living Will. This dictates that, should you be incapable of making your own medical decisions due to coma, illness, injury, etc, the person you ASSIGN is in charge of those decisions.

-Sign a Designee form. This is crucial if you want to designate a specific person to make decisions about your body disposition and funeral care. POWER OF ATTORNEY ENDS AT DEATH. Your power of attorney will NOT be able to make post-death decisions on your behalf. You need a Designee form for that!

Both of these forms can assign any willing person that you chose to be in charge of these decisions. This person does not have to be related to you, they could be a friend, roommate, non-married partner, metamore, in-law, whoever you feel the most comfortable with, and who is willing to sign the form.

You are NEVER too young to have these forms. If you are a young person, re-visit them every couple years and make sure the other person on them is still willing to be your POA/Designee. You can re-do these forms as many times as you need. In most states they should also be FREE and require only a notary public and witnesses!

Forms should be available on your state’s .gov websites!

I wish all of you a peaceful and happy pride season, and as always,

Memento Mori

[344x-azucar]

Commission of a scene from the fic Perfectly Imperfect by JustSomeStranger !

[mynah-bird-death]

Death and Love

Before I was a death doula I was (and still am) a certified sex and relationship coach. One of the things that I noticed in both trainings was that neither addressed the elephant in the room of physical love in the face of a terminal diagnosis.

My loves, those who are dying are not inherently sexless, and those who love them are not automatically caregivers instead of partners. This is normal and I will fight to climb this hill until someone buries me under it.

There is Nothing to be ashamed or hesitant about with still being attracted to any partners you may have. Nor does a terminal diagnosis mean you automatically need to toss your own desires and sexual needs aside. You're dying, not dead yet. You're allowed to Live.

You, my darling and exhausted partner, are allowed to want to remain your beloved's Partner not their nurse. You are allowed to demand care for your own needs. You are allowed to talk to your dying partner about dates, sex, and intimacy. You are Allowed, nay Encouraged (by me if no one else) to set aside time to be Partners, not dying and caregiver.

It is so so easy to forgo intimacy in the face of death. But, you don't have to my loves. I promise.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

British Columbia is set to receive $733 million in new federal funding over the next five years to improve health care for the province's seniors. The funds will help expand home and community care, improve access to palliative and end-of-life services and improve the quality of long-term care, the federal and provincial health ministers announced Monday. Federal Health Minister Mark Holland said it is the first agreement on aging with dignity in the country. "We have an aging population, but we have to rise and meet that challenge," he said during a news conference.

Continue Reading

Tagging @politicsofcanada

[thebeardedgrandma]

I’m an at home hospice care provider and last Friday morning I bought my client a breakfast sandwich when I got one for me and she couldn’t stop talking about how good it was even 11 hours later at the end of my shift. I decided when I saw how happy she was to make it a Friday routine. Today was the second Friday I brought breakfast and last night she was telling her family how she was looking forward to it. It costs me $4 but I tell her the sandwiches were buy one get one free so she doesn’t feel like she owes me anything. Now I’m looking forward to it every week because it’s such a small easy thing for me to do that gives her something to look forward to.

There’s no real meaning to this post I just have to share my joy.

[hotjmess]

So we decided. Next week Thursday, around 4:30pm. Putting my staffie Roxy to sleep. Fucking cancer is taking away my doggo. She is not comfortable that I can see. I was crying again today off and on. This next week is going to feel like an eternity.

[dead-loch]

end of life care….

today (yesterday now I’m posting) is the day my mind fully processed my grandpa’s death (we’re french so I called him papie) and I had myself a nice long sob. we had a visitation with his body one final time before cremation. I personally have not been able to find it in myself to be able to look at a loved one’s body after death— which began when I was young and saw my other grandfather in his casket with such heavy makeup on that he looked cartoonish and honestly traumatised the hell out of me, and which I still see to this day when I think of him, which is pretty distressing— but just being in the room with his body today is what broke it. I found this interesting only because I was also in a room with his body on the day he passed, so I’m not sure why it took this second time for me to fully, I guess, feel it

anyway, I’m sharing all of this to just kind of give context to how I’m feeling and where I’m at right now when I say how thankful we are that he received such amazing care at the home he’d been living in for the past 6 years. and I know it’s rare to hear this. papie had frontotemporal dementia, which affects your frontal lobe, and this lead to a complete lack of inhibition. if anyone has known someone with traumatic brain injuries, they may know what I mean when I say this. I’m not going to get into it further than that here but suffice to say that his behaviour made it so that he could not live without 24/7 monitoring, and it was unfortunately unsafe for others to live with him without like… specific training, which meant we had to find a home for him.

what this all boils down to is that we hadn’t intended to have either of my grandparents living in a long term care home, but we eventually had no other choice, and I’m really really thankful that we ended up with the place he spent his last years.

on the day he passed, papie had had a big breakfast (the nurses thought this was a good sign since they’d actually called us the night before to let us know he hadn’t been interested in eating much of his dinner and that was out of character), he had asked for coffee (which he hadn’t done in months), and then asked for his glasses so he could watch tv (which his interest had also recently been waning in, also out of character). so in all it was a really great morning. it was when he was preparing to shower a bit later in the morning that he suddenly went white in the face, and passed away very suddenly and very quickly. a nurse was with him, since they’d been getting ready to help him shower, and decided to go ahead with washing his body, giving him a shave and dressing him in clean clothing before lying him in bed… and then he called my mom.

if we’d ever had the slightest whiff of mistreatment in that home, some of those actions might have seemed suspicious but we never did, and if we had he wouldn’t have still been there, and papie was already outspoken for what he needed and wanted and who was pissing him off (residents often steal from one another, or forget who owns what, things like that, so lots of opportunities to get royally pissed lmao).

as it is I think (and we all felt) that what the nurse did was his final act of taking care of papie, making sure he, for lack of a better term, looked his best (the best possible, anyway) when we, his family, saw him for the last time.

[easykorean]

Easy to Learn Korean 1757 - End of life care (part one).

Continue reading Easy to Learn Korean 1757 – End of life care (part one).

[blades-and-cryptids-in-the-dark]

One of my passions is the work I do with a small non-profit called Spirit Lake Wellness, dedicated to educating the general public as well as health care and mental health care professionals about wellness on a wide range of topics. The podcast is part of that outreach and we recently relaunched it after a hiatus.

This episode discusses pain management during end-of-life care. Trigger warnings for discussions of death, addiction, and opiates.

[blackeyedsusansdeathmidwifery]

"Because Death is as Sacred as Birth" - The Death Midwife

This quote resonated with my soul's love vibration. So often, birth is reversed and celebrated. I believe death should also be honored. Meaning, it is the beginning of new dew drops falling from a lotus flower. And, that death is really:

• Pure love

• Pure forgiveness

• The end of pain

• Reunion with Spirit

• Meeting with Light

And, nothing to be fearful about. Couldn't be happier in end-of-life care

[etrevague]

does anyone wanna take me out to an abandoned but somewhat lovely little bit of water and throw my body into it and watch it sink then dust their hands off like a good days works been done

[vulpine111]

I'm going to ask if I can apply for MAID soon.

[mynah-bird-death]

What the heck is a death doula? And why, for the love of marketing, are you a business page on *Tumblr*?!

Excellent questions love.

A death doula is a non-medical professional providing end of life comfort and support to the dying and their families. I help plan vigils, memorials, set up bucket list plans, and advocate for the dying once they are no longer cognisant enough to do it themselves. I sit by the bedside and hold vigil when someone is in their final moments. I do this for both humans and pets.

As for why Tumblr: yes I know. This is where businesses do Not succeed. This is not the social media site for that. But it fits my blogging and tagging needs and really, it's not like being on here is going to hurt my business any.

So here we are, join me as I ramble about death, dying, and death preparedness.

[intrainingdoc]

New on in-House, a captivating piece exploring the interconnectivity of dance and non-verbal communication in the ICU. The piece is authored by The Aseemkala Initiative - a group of brilliant activists presenting diverse dance-based narrative medicine.

https://in-housestaff.org/chinnamastas-do-not-resuscitate-order-using-classical-indian-dance-to-improve-intensive-care-unit-non-verbal-communication-2057

[ofviolentdeath]

My sister, Pam, got utterly heart breaking news today. Her 11 year old weiner dog, Mic, had a mass rupture in his mouth today and has to be put down tomorrow. Between his age and his issues with anesthesia, he would not survive treatment and this is the kindest option we have for him. 

Tonight, we’re going to lay blankets and towels on the couch and give him as much love as possible and let the kids say their final goodbyes before his appointment in the morning. 

His final vet bills are going to be over $300 and we would appreciate any help in laying Mic to rest. Donations can be made directly to Pam at the following:

PayPal is p.thomas3192@yahoo.com Venmo is mommaspychalski@yahoo.com

Thank you.