#Emotions Stacked

[wickedzeevyln]

This Used to be a Tree

This mushy thing used to be a tree,until a heavy downpour from his eyes,skin bunching around the storm cloud,with thunderclaps and lightning bolts hurled down in seething rage. This used to be a tree,now, a wilderness of anguish,scrawled with words decried for their unsavory truth.Words are uncanny things sprawling with thorns slithering up the lattice to finally coil around the thoughts and…

[jeeaark]

Shirtless Disaster Pt. 1

So. pretty sure the emperor cusses. just. never had the reason to say out loud. or has a filter on when they talk. Until Greygold happened. You ever try and look with the emperor's perspective when Tav makes decisions and go, 'H-how are you not ceaselessly cussing like a sailor at Tav?'

ANYWAY- HERE'S THE THING. TRULY. Always had my squinty-eyed caution on Emps. Trying to ascertain if they were for real with their words/actions/intentions or not. but. Squid buddy sharing their feelings of caring was the uh snowball that started this avalanche. Can't fake feelings huah, GREYGOLD FINALLY FOUND THOSE MUSHY BITS HUAH.

I ain't gonna let y'all wonder what Greygold's answer was, so uh. Bonus!

[buckybee]

It’s wild to me that in AOS Kirk is a smartass who gets into frequent brawls and goofs around whereas in TOS Kirk was canonically bulled in the Academy because he was a nerd.

[cozylittleartblog]

swatchvember prompt: party

happy 37th birthday to Microsoft Paint ✨🎂🎉🎈

[furiousgoldfish]

How triangulation works

Triangulation is a form of abuse, often associated with narcissistic abusers, which works in a way that gets the abuser what they want, by involving other people into the relationship. It will usually happen when you and the abuser are in some kind of conflict, and want different things; the abuser tells you what they want you to do, and you know you don't want this, so you say no, and stand your ground.

When the abuser realizes they can't persuade you, threaten you, force or pressure you into doing what they want, they go a roundabout way about it, by convincing other people to go and pressure you instead. Now how does that look like?

It can go multiple ways, they can come and cry to other people about how incredibly cruel, insensitive and selfish you are, not wanting to do this one thing to them, and how it's killing them, and ruining yours and everyone else's life. They'll often sprinkle in some lies about you, make you look cruel and twisted. They can come to your siblings, friends, relatives, family, and tell them something along the lines 'I know it's only right for them to do x, but they won't listen to me. However, they really value your opinion, and they might listen to you, please tell them to do x, it would be better for everyone.' This will make the person feel important and happy to be valued both by the abuser and you and to be given this important task of changing your mind, they'll become willing to do it. Or, if they go the crying and complaining route, the person will become annoyed that they're being vented on feel like it's your fault they're now having to deal with this. The abuser might also add imagined disasters and catastrophes that might happen, if you do as you want, and not follow their idea of how things should go.

This person, having been manipulated into thinking they're doing something good, will go and try to tell you that you're wrong for wanting to do what you want, sometimes they'll accuse you of being selfish, yell at you, defend the abuser's idea, pressure you, accuse you of being responsible for abuser's "upset" by acting this way, and will wholeheartedly try to convince you that following your own free will is a horrible, disastrous idea.

And for you, this now means you have to consider, and reconsider over and over again, if you have the right to make your own call, because now everyone in your life seems to be on the abuser's side, and insisting that what you want is stupid, selfish, inconsiderate, hurtful, wrong, potentially disastrous. This, of course, is not true, but the abusers want you in that spot, where everyone you know is against you and on their side, convincing you to just do as you're told, or else. This can sometimes create intense pressure and feeling like you're all alone in the world, like nobody cares about you, and that any decision you make will be beaten down by everyone involved. It can also make you pull down your own choices after having to consider over and over if it's possible that this choice could be selfish or in any way hurtful, and this is not how people normally make calls, it's something you do under intense pressure and scrutiny, which is there only because the abuser wanted it.

These choices can be anything from where you go to school, work, where you live, how you dress, who you date, what you buy, how to respond to others, what you do, how you act. Often they'll be about whether you give the abuser what they want from you, and whether you agree to talk to them or not. The biggest triangulations I've experienced in my life were done when I've refused to talk to the abusers, then they felt it was necessary to lie and manipulate every person I knew to pressure me into extending contact  - and all of those people have been lied to, and have been brought to a heavy emotional state in order to do a crazy thing like telling someone what to do. Normally people don't do such things, they understand it's not their place to dictate someone's personal decisions, not their call to make in somebody's life.

This is partly what makes the abusers so dangerous, not only they're willing  to cross that line themselves, but they're capable of making others cross it too, making their every whim seeming like a life emergency where all rules of freedom and privacy are null. This also puts you in a position where you're forced to doubt yourself, your every decision, and even your senses, to figure out if you could possibly be right, when everyone you know is telling you that you're wrong. They want you to be in that desperate mindset, doubting your own senses, memories, decisions. It's almost like a form of gaslighting, that everyone participates in.

Your choice is, of course, never wrong. You always have the freedom to make your own decisions, even if the entire world decides to attack you for it and to tell you that you're wrong. The entire shitshow is happening only because the abuser thinks what they want is more important than your free life and your quality of life, and they're willing to lie and push people into doing their bidding, just to bypass your free will. You don't have to doubt any of these decisions, because any choice you make is right, as long as you're the one who made it.

Being trapped in that space where it feels like everyone is against you, and on the abuser's side can be extremely isolating, painful and emotionally heavy. It can put you in a state where you feel abandoned and like you're wrong and evil for every decision you try to make. However, this isn't true, all of the people who are telling you that you're wrong, actually have no clue what's going on, and have been fed lies. Not that it hurts any less that they've betrayed you despite not even understanding the situation! It hurts badly. They've been naive enough to fall for a manipulation, and their moral standing weak enough to try and infringe on your freedom, and you didn't deserve that. They've aligned themselves with a person who has hurt you and is attempting to control you, and that feels terrible, like you're alone and helpless against a whole horde of people.

One thing you can do is point out how it's not their place to make this call, and ask them what they've been told in order to come and tell you something as inappropriate and hurtful like this. I can't claim it's going to work every time, but some people were taken aback when they were informed of some of the stuff the abuser just 'forgot to mention' when sending them into action. Sometimes even that won't make them back down, because it's embarrassing to accept that you've been manipulated into being someone's tool, and they'd rather insist they're completely in the right. It's a messed up game where you essentially can't win, the best you can do is stick to your decision and inform everyone who comes to pressure you, that you're not in fact, doing anything illegal and if they want to change your decision they'll have to bring out an army to force you.

Triangulation goes hand-in-hand with scapegoating, and will make you feel like a scapegoat. Even if a lot of people will fall for the abuser's manipulations, not all will, and this is not something that you'll need to endure all of your life, especially if you manage to cut contact with people who are easily manipulated – you don't owe them a presence in their life if they're aligned with an abuser. There are people out there who cannot be manipulated easily, and will stick to their morals and refuse to infringe on your freedom, even when told a bunch of lies.

[reynoldswrld]

Hoi Zäme, New Jersey

back in 2017, nico wrote an article for the players' tribune detailing his experience in the draft. i recommend reading the whole article, it's very short and sweet

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

What if what if I what if if I what if if I could what if I went crazy what then what then what then

I know Sonic does manage to turn into Super Sonic just in time to save everyone after that idw panel, but at the time of reading all I could think was how Classic Sonic had arrived in the nick of time to save him before in Forces

But that this time there is no Sonic to show up out of nowhere to defend him or comfort him🥲😭

[mumblelard]

cairns

last night i dreamt i was at a gathering, perhaps a party, i may have even been the host. it was filled with people i would have recognized on the street, but we had never been close, never spoken much, if any at all

made up of people unaccustomed to one another's company, it was quiet gathering, so i felt compelled to do a trick i had been practicing but hadn't mastered yet. i walked towards one wall of the room and slowly and awkwardly up the wall. when i reached the ceiling, i steeled myself against a rising fear, and i stepped onto the ceiling and walked, upside down, slowly to the center of the room

no one appeared to notice, or maybe out of embarrassment for me, for themselves, for this awkward gathering as a whole, they pretended not to notice.

then i felt my feet start to slip and i was falling head first towards the floor and i woke up

[confusedmothboy]

no one talk to me i just finished mob psycho and i need a minute. i need a minute guys let me get up. let me get up

[knotwerk]

these books. all the poems featured in the proper hydration series are in these books.

(book titles under the cut)

Water I Won't Touch - Kayleb Rae Candrilli

Say Goodnight - Timothy Liu

The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde

The Poems of Emily Dickinson: Reading Edition

Mules of Love - Ellen Bass

Love and Other Poems - Alex Dmitrov

Space Struck - Paige Lewis

Evidence - Mary Oliver

A Shorter Shīrazād - Michael Field

The Renunciations - Donika Kelly

Prelude to Bruise - Saeed Jones

Ceremonies - Essex Hemphill

Gephyromania - TC Tolbert

Dispatch - Cameron Awkward-Rich

Like A Beggar - Ellen Bass

Frank O'Hara: Selected Poems

Effort at Speech - William Meredith

Dream of the Divided Field - Yanyi

Crush - Richard Siken

Not Me - Eileen Myles

Night Sky With Exit Wounds - Ocean Vuong

Ahead of All Parting: The Selected Poetry and Prose of Rainer Maria Rilke

How to Wash a Heart - Bhanu Kapil

Amanda Paradise ★ Resurrect Extinct Vibration - CAConrad

Listen to the Golden Boomerang Return - CAConrad

New Life - Ana Božičević

Second Empire - Richie Hoffman

Haruko/Love Poems - June Jordan

The Collected Poems of A.E. Housman

If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho - Anne Carson

Swollening - Jason Purcell

🥬💜✨

[general-yasur]

I have Garmadon thoughts. Which Garmadon? Yeah

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Day 7

Sky(loft)

*throws rose* For the First lovers.

Soft and sweet drabble with just the barest hints of tragedy, and more set on Skyloft than anything but I'd say it counts.

This chapter was brought to you by me getting emotional about the First Hero and his fate again due to the rain, the fact I believe all Links deserve to have love and appreciation but specially him. And the fact I think it's an absolute CRIME that we don't get anything more on him and that he and Sky don't get to have what Time and Twilight have, no I'm not bitter Nintendo I just want to talk, y'all can't just keep giving us like four Links before the actual heroes and then expect us NOT to want to elaborate with the crumbs we are given. If you ask me First and Sky deserve to interact and for First to have closure.

Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, up to y'all, and can be read in or outside and LU context, I just use Sky and First for simplicities sake but if you don't gel with LU then feel free to interpret this as something else, this is all highly self indulgent before I pass the heck out lol

If there was any place in Sky’s Hyrule that you could confidently say you adored with all of your heart and soul, Skyloft would be the most likely pick.

Even so high above it all in a way that would have you catastrophizing had you think too hard about what could happen if anyone ever accidentally fell from the isle even with all of the knights trained to not allow that to happen, you’d be lying if you said that it’s a wondrous mix of empyreal beauty and the comfort of safety and the wonder of touching the sky, a true breath taking haven that could soften even the hardest of hearts with time. Fitting of the warmth of the reincarnated goddess in Sun and the vast nature of Sky’s kindness, for all you knew he could be as frigid as the title of Godslayer demanded.

Looking at the way First let himself be tugged along the isle as soon as they’ve arrived in Sky’s land in a tour just reinforced that notion, you couldn’t help but chuckle a little. First was one of the harder Links to read, even more so than Time or Warriors, but looking at the way the stars of his azure eyes brightened with the fire of life hearing Sky talk about life in his home and about the many people made you feel so, so warm, like finding a nice sunny spot for a afternoon nap.

What could you say? First was such a wondrous person, calm and charming and perfectly polite and oh so kind in the way you knew all of your boys were. If there ever was someone who embodied chivalry and the ideal side of knighthood, he’d probably be the one to come to the forefront of your mind, and you’ve been insatiable for his happiness ever since.

When he first arrived to the Chain, he was as cold as the howling blizzard winds, heart a cold fort left in ruin and remade as best as a single man could for the sake of remaining kind, to do the right thing no matter what, it was a sentiment you knew far too well in your other boys, but specially so in First, who tried so, so hard to distance himself from getting attached. But who you knew loved the sight of the sky, as cold and numb it was in it’s distance, whom cared so so much he would driven himself into an early grave just to make the Surface a safer for the people who’d shunned him, whom after a long, long period of adjustment and effort from the Chain, allowed you to hold him close as he shaked from nightmares at night, allowing you to chase away memories of being held up by cold chains until the impression of them became one with his skin and subconscious, of being entombed and imprisoned in uncaring stone and iron to starve alone, being bitten at by hungry, crawling rats all because he wished to keep his people safe, made sure he could tell that your presence was tangible and real through telling stories from your world and singing him into dreams even through the fortress’s that was his stubborness. Trying your best to make lilies bloom on what looked like a most hopeless winter.

The day he actually chuckled and smiled, safe and healthy and alive in the presence of the Chain felt like the biggest victory you’d ever had.

He deserved to know love and to be loved as much as any of your boys, something real and tangible and that was actually properly reciprocated rather than used to justify an end. So seeing him being able to visit Skyloft with his descendant with a whispering, hidden smile was more than enough for you. And you can’t blame Sky for being equally animated about it, bless his heart, always wanting his people to be happy, always so, so kind, wanting to bring some solace to the older hero but being carefully attentive so his mood was still good

After all they went through they deserved it.

“Oh! There you are, I was just about to show First to the waterfall, want to come with?”, Sky snaps you out from your thoughts, touching your shoulder with a gentle smile.

“Unless something is ailing you, you did look quite deeply in though.”, added First, soft as the warm breeze on the isle in the sky.

You shake your head, smiling as you take First’s offered arm, an instinctive motion when he wished to be close but wasn’t quite ready for any other touch yet, and Sky’s hand in yours, which he swings with a hum, ears twitching, how precious. “Not at all, lead the way.”

As Sky leads you along, and you catch the ghost of a smile in First’s otherwise stern countenance and you take in the warmth of the late afternoon sun in Skyloft and the soft, eternal spring breeze. You think there’s quite a bit you’d give to keep witnessing these moments indeed.

The road to recovery was long and arduous, but you’d be there, and you knew the Chain would do their best to be there too.

[covey-o-quail]

kanej being abt like. waking up (metaphorically.) one day and realizing . oh. this person that has become such a staple in my life. i kind of want them 2 remain in it. and trying 2 navigate how that will look while so much is changing around and within them........ wah. ur honor they r simply

[scratchandplaster]

Stack The Deck - PART 16

CW: drug abuse, addiction, defiant whumpee, bad coping mechanism, stockholm syndrom(?)

PART 15 ⇽ [Masterlist] ⇾ PART 17

��・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Elliot woke to nothingness. Neither the stuffy trunk nor crack house bathroom had woken him up this kindly, yet he felt nothing: from his left pinky to his dry lips - just quietness. All the anger and fear that spurred him on during his stay were swept away.

Weird.

Tramadol 100 stood no chance against whatever lingered inside his veins, cushioning his body like wads of cotton. It felt pleasant, more than that, reliving. Like for the first time in this damned year, he found a chance to breathe free of pain.

If this was what constituted a junkie, Elliot might gladly be one.

Despite the calm soundscape surrounding him, he didn't dare to take a peek yet. After the weakness that Chris revealed, one could only suspect what else he liked to smash to pieces now. 

The filthy concoction he stabbed Elliot with was incomparable to ordinary MR tablets. No, this was the good shit. The kind of stuff his doctors had withheld from him time and time again, the kind they give you before you get stuffed in a disheveled Honda, borrowed from the crazy grandpa down the street.

Maybe if he said pretty please, Chris would be so kind and give him another pinch.

Careful as a fawn, Elliot peeked through his lashes. Flat on his back like he had just been picked up and slapped down on the bed, he never felt freer, mainly thanks to the absence of any cuffs around his wrist. Chris probably failed to find the other one in this mess.

Only then did Elliot notice the smear of sticky blood across his arms - not his own, one might add, his fingernails cut short hastily to take his last weapon away. The cause of this involuntary nap watched him closely from the other side of the room.

Chris surely had no patience left after his little stunt, yet Elliot simply couldn't care less.

For someone who "fights like a bitch", the damage was undeniable. Elliot couldn't help but grin at the swollen teeth marks arching over Morris' chin up to his lips, how the blue eyes were stained red by more than just a few tears. 

Sniffling like he got stood up at prom, Chris pressed a bag of frozen peas to his neck and dared to break the silence first: "Happy now?"

What a diva. Elliot swallowed, no venom left to spit.

"Quit whining. You had it coming."

Nobody had kissed him this way since high school, and for good reasons. Disgusting. Absentmindedly wiping over his mouth with a sleeve, Elliot was unsure about his next steps.

What was that guy thinking? His boyfriend…guilt does that to a lonely man, huh?

Since Amber, he never really thought of risking that humiliation again, but if he did, it would not be for Christoph Morris, never like that. Elliot surely had more fun making out with the wood-chip wallpaper than him any day of the week.

On the upside, though…

"Now we have to start over," his host moaned accusatory, throwing the peas aside to reveal three long and harsh gashes across his skin, "For fuck's sake, you were nearly done with it all! And don't blame me, you went ahead and ruined all our progress this time."

That man really couldn't stop regurgitating his own shit until it tasted like honey. "Again" was acid on Elliot's otherwise so comfortable skin; not another week in withdrawal, he would rather peel his flesh off the limbs piece by piece. 

Wordlessly, he held his left hand in front of him - half of it limp as a glove - and clenched it into a fist.

Weak. Pathetic even. And without a single twinge of pain.

His rage was snuffed out and with it the fire, inside and out, gifting him the cure he searched for so long. The endless flare inside him was not just subdued, not better.

Gone. 

Nothing that would last, surely, Elliot wasn't that naive. Yet, the fantasy of securing this state for as long as possible let a new spark bloom inside his mind.

Make him like me. And who knows, maybe I'll allow him the one or other trade-off we both profit from.

But for that to happen, the senseless pursuit of absolute sobriety had to die. If he was not allowed to leave, so be it! Morris better get used to caring like he claimed, then. 

"I'm hungry," Elliot yawned and noticed Chris through his spread-out fingers, busy picking at the seams of the thawing plastic bag. Unable to stop his whining, he glared back, ashamed by how brutally his confession had opened him up for rejection.

"And?"

"You have anything sweet around here?" The plaque on Elliot's teeth tasted of cold ash and copper as his tongue ran over it.

"No," Chris spit, strategically keeping the smushed key lime pie on the kitchen table a secret, "No way. After what you did..."

What did I do?, Elliot wondered, a blur of fists and red splatter being the only memory of yet another brawl his brain managed to pull from the fog. Third time's the charm, it seems, at least when leaving a mark as a thank you for all of Elliot's.

A nice strike.

If inspected closer, one might have spotted Elliot rolling his eyes before swinging his legs out of the bed and standing up; as did Chris, skittishly guarding the door. Another race to the exit fell dead before it could ever start. 

More than embarrassed, Morris felt queasy about his next step. Could he just pretend that nothing happened? Or find a new approach to how fussy Elliot acted?

Unbelievably, his guest dug placidly through the box of old clothes under the bed, before pulling out a pair of loose-fitting pants. The scabs on his hands and knees had crumbled away already. Despite the way this involuntary striptease made Chris tingle with excitement, he kept his guard up. 

Nevertheless, Elliot hadn't wasted a thought on approaching the locked door behind them, too spellbound while buttoning up his shirt with both hands. Both. Sloppy execution and a shaky hold didn't stop the disks of horn from slipping into their designated place. 

Be nice to him for a refill, apparently the only action he was able to take during this stalemate, and get out of here. Elliot felt no need to rush today. 

Kneeling on the floor, still very invested in opening and closing his shirt as if trying to drive Chris insane, Elliot noticed another box beside him. Sleek and colorful, the packaging reminded him of a tile mosaic. 

Azul. 

Living on his own had a few disadvantages the lonely collection of board games made him painfully aware of. No wonder he's so desperate for company.

"Do you like it? It's not a card game, but you still need good strategy," Chris finally spoke up.

They had to pick up the pieces somewhere and a quick round may be helpful in raising the spirits. Oh, the fun they had together, before he...before the situation got out of control. "I thought about getting the sequel too, it's supposed to be even better."

"A board game sequel?"

"Yeah, it won a few awards."

A game night, seriously? For all the ones he stole from him and his parents. Even so, a rather small price to pay compared to whatever else this guy had on his mind an hour ago. A trade Elliot could be interested in.

"Looks fun enough," he shrugged, not yet ready to put on a happy face. 

"Care for a round?"

Once more, Elliot simply shrugged. 

In and out of the room, Chris quickly returned with a foil pan and two forks in hand. Be the bigger man, he reminded himself while swallowing so much more than the rejection, be forgiving. The soggy peace offering laid between them on the floor. If Elliot should stay with him, voluntary and well-behaved, his host had to accept certain needs.

"So, you feel better now?"

"Obviously," Elliot muttered without looking up from the game manual. Next to him, a fork was carefully dropped on the carpet, as if handling an animal ready to go berserk again any second. "It's a lot easier if you don't steal my meds."

Decent intentions aside, Elliot spoke the truth. Keeping up last week's plan would only make history repeat itself, a fact Chris wanted to avoid at all costs. Strength and patience had left him; both of them.

The room went dead quiet while they both dug chunks out of the pie. Chris dodged the crust any way he could, like shoveling for gold in the lime purée. For the first time since they reunited, no tension, no animosity from the past broke their peace. Be it for a different reason than Chris hoped for.

The small colorful tiles were passed out on cardboard circles in between them. 

Elliot, lost in thought, only stared through his playmate. His face got some color back, Chris noticed, a rosy blush to his cheeks. So cute. In a blink, Elliot snapped back to the present and faced him, voice sharp:

"What you demanded from me-" 

"I wouldn't say demanded," Chris murmured, "I-I just tried to show you-" 

"It will never happen. You hear me?" Elliot fixed his gaze on him. Not once before had Morris seen the usually so cautious thing this serious, "Never."

A mangy dog had more composure than what he showed at Elliot's demand, frowning and glancing over from his side.

"Don't you like...with men?" 

I can change that.

"That's none of your business," Elliot snarled. The nerve of this guy, what in the hell- 

Make him like me. Fine, then. "I don't like it with anyone, especially you, of all people. And that's that."

"Hmm."

At this, Chris felt at a loss. Was this a test, a chance to show that he wasn't as brash as his confession painted him? A punishment even? Or a lie, though Amber had definitely complained more than once about being neglected this way.

One way or the other, he knew that he knew nothing and for Elliot's good mood to last, Chris needed to accept some compromises. For the moment.

Finally, Elliot picked up four yellow tiles, scattering the rest in the middle.

"Your turn."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterlist]

Taglist: @whatwasmyprevioususername, @canislycaon24

[blackwaxidol]

The Light's most stoic and disciplined warriors...

[touhoutunes]

Title: PANDORA66

Arrangement: Stack Bros.

Vocals: Stack

Album: 太阳の花-Eternal Summer-

Circle: 暁Records

Original: The Lost Emotion