#rip withdrawal!Elliot

[scratchandplaster]

Stack The Deck - PART 16

CW: drug abuse, addiction, defiant whumpee, bad coping mechanism, stockholm syndrom(?)

PART 15 ⇽ [Masterlist] ⇾ PART 17

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Elliot woke to nothingness. Neither the stuffy trunk nor crack house bathroom had woken him up this kindly, yet he felt nothing: from his left pinky to his dry lips - just quietness. All the anger and fear that spurred him on during his stay were swept away.

Weird.

Tramadol 100 stood no chance against whatever lingered inside his veins, cushioning his body like wads of cotton. It felt pleasant, more than that, reliving. Like for the first time in this damned year, he found a chance to breathe free of pain.

If this was what constituted a junkie, Elliot might gladly be one.

Despite the calm soundscape surrounding him, he didn't dare to take a peek yet. After the weakness that Chris revealed, one could only suspect what else he liked to smash to pieces now. 

The filthy concoction he stabbed Elliot with was incomparable to ordinary MR tablets. No, this was the good shit. The kind of stuff his doctors had withheld from him time and time again, the kind they give you before you get stuffed in a disheveled Honda, borrowed from the crazy grandpa down the street.

Maybe if he said pretty please, Chris would be so kind and give him another pinch.

Careful as a fawn, Elliot peeked through his lashes. Flat on his back like he had just been picked up and slapped down on the bed, he never felt freer, mainly thanks to the absence of any cuffs around his wrist. Chris probably failed to find the other one in this mess.

Only then did Elliot notice the smear of sticky blood across his arms - not his own, one might add, his fingernails cut short hastily to take his last weapon away. The cause of this involuntary nap watched him closely from the other side of the room.

Chris surely had no patience left after his little stunt, yet Elliot simply couldn't care less.

For someone who "fights like a bitch", the damage was undeniable. Elliot couldn't help but grin at the swollen teeth marks arching over Morris' chin up to his lips, how the blue eyes were stained red by more than just a few tears. 

Sniffling like he got stood up at prom, Chris pressed a bag of frozen peas to his neck and dared to break the silence first: "Happy now?"

What a diva. Elliot swallowed, no venom left to spit.

"Quit whining. You had it coming."

Nobody had kissed him this way since high school, and for good reasons. Disgusting. Absentmindedly wiping over his mouth with a sleeve, Elliot was unsure about his next steps.

What was that guy thinking? His boyfriend…guilt does that to a lonely man, huh?

Since Amber, he never really thought of risking that humiliation again, but if he did, it would not be for Christoph Morris, never like that. Elliot surely had more fun making out with the wood-chip wallpaper than him any day of the week.

On the upside, though…

"Now we have to start over," his host moaned accusatory, throwing the peas aside to reveal three long and harsh gashes across his skin, "For fuck's sake, you were nearly done with it all! And don't blame me, you went ahead and ruined all our progress this time."

That man really couldn't stop regurgitating his own shit until it tasted like honey. "Again" was acid on Elliot's otherwise so comfortable skin; not another week in withdrawal, he would rather peel his flesh off the limbs piece by piece. 

Wordlessly, he held his left hand in front of him - half of it limp as a glove - and clenched it into a fist.

Weak. Pathetic even. And without a single twinge of pain.

His rage was snuffed out and with it the fire, inside and out, gifting him the cure he searched for so long. The endless flare inside him was not just subdued, not better.

Gone. 

Nothing that would last, surely, Elliot wasn't that naive. Yet, the fantasy of securing this state for as long as possible let a new spark bloom inside his mind.

Make him like me. And who knows, maybe I'll allow him the one or other trade-off we both profit from.

But for that to happen, the senseless pursuit of absolute sobriety had to die. If he was not allowed to leave, so be it! Morris better get used to caring like he claimed, then. 

"I'm hungry," Elliot yawned and noticed Chris through his spread-out fingers, busy picking at the seams of the thawing plastic bag. Unable to stop his whining, he glared back, ashamed by how brutally his confession had opened him up for rejection.

"And?"

"You have anything sweet around here?" The plaque on Elliot's teeth tasted of cold ash and copper as his tongue ran over it.

"No," Chris spit, strategically keeping the smushed key lime pie on the kitchen table a secret, "No way. After what you did..."

What did I do?, Elliot wondered, a blur of fists and red splatter being the only memory of yet another brawl his brain managed to pull from the fog. Third time's the charm, it seems, at least when leaving a mark as a thank you for all of Elliot's.

A nice strike.

If inspected closer, one might have spotted Elliot rolling his eyes before swinging his legs out of the bed and standing up; as did Chris, skittishly guarding the door. Another race to the exit fell dead before it could ever start. 

More than embarrassed, Morris felt queasy about his next step. Could he just pretend that nothing happened? Or find a new approach to how fussy Elliot acted?

Unbelievably, his guest dug placidly through the box of old clothes under the bed, before pulling out a pair of loose-fitting pants. The scabs on his hands and knees had crumbled away already. Despite the way this involuntary striptease made Chris tingle with excitement, he kept his guard up. 

Nevertheless, Elliot hadn't wasted a thought on approaching the locked door behind them, too spellbound while buttoning up his shirt with both hands. Both. Sloppy execution and a shaky hold didn't stop the disks of horn from slipping into their designated place. 

Be nice to him for a refill, apparently the only action he was able to take during this stalemate, and get out of here. Elliot felt no need to rush today. 

Kneeling on the floor, still very invested in opening and closing his shirt as if trying to drive Chris insane, Elliot noticed another box beside him. Sleek and colorful, the packaging reminded him of a tile mosaic. 

Azul. 

Living on his own had a few disadvantages the lonely collection of board games made him painfully aware of. No wonder he's so desperate for company.

"Do you like it? It's not a card game, but you still need good strategy," Chris finally spoke up.

They had to pick up the pieces somewhere and a quick round may be helpful in raising the spirits. Oh, the fun they had together, before he...before the situation got out of control. "I thought about getting the sequel too, it's supposed to be even better."

"A board game sequel?"

"Yeah, it won a few awards."

A game night, seriously? For all the ones he stole from him and his parents. Even so, a rather small price to pay compared to whatever else this guy had on his mind an hour ago. A trade Elliot could be interested in.

"Looks fun enough," he shrugged, not yet ready to put on a happy face. 

"Care for a round?"

Once more, Elliot simply shrugged. 

In and out of the room, Chris quickly returned with a foil pan and two forks in hand. Be the bigger man, he reminded himself while swallowing so much more than the rejection, be forgiving. The soggy peace offering laid between them on the floor. If Elliot should stay with him, voluntary and well-behaved, his host had to accept certain needs.

"So, you feel better now?"

"Obviously," Elliot muttered without looking up from the game manual. Next to him, a fork was carefully dropped on the carpet, as if handling an animal ready to go berserk again any second. "It's a lot easier if you don't steal my meds."

Decent intentions aside, Elliot spoke the truth. Keeping up last week's plan would only make history repeat itself, a fact Chris wanted to avoid at all costs. Strength and patience had left him; both of them.

The room went dead quiet while they both dug chunks out of the pie. Chris dodged the crust any way he could, like shoveling for gold in the lime purée. For the first time since they reunited, no tension, no animosity from the past broke their peace. Be it for a different reason than Chris hoped for.

The small colorful tiles were passed out on cardboard circles in between them. 

Elliot, lost in thought, only stared through his playmate. His face got some color back, Chris noticed, a rosy blush to his cheeks. So cute. In a blink, Elliot snapped back to the present and faced him, voice sharp:

"What you demanded from me-" 

"I wouldn't say demanded," Chris murmured, "I-I just tried to show you-" 

"It will never happen. You hear me?" Elliot fixed his gaze on him. Not once before had Morris seen the usually so cautious thing this serious, "Never."

A mangy dog had more composure than what he showed at Elliot's demand, frowning and glancing over from his side.

"Don't you like...with men?" 

I can change that.

"That's none of your business," Elliot snarled. The nerve of this guy, what in the hell- 

Make him like me. Fine, then. "I don't like it with anyone, especially you, of all people. And that's that."

"Hmm."

At this, Chris felt at a loss. Was this a test, a chance to show that he wasn't as brash as his confession painted him? A punishment even? Or a lie, though Amber had definitely complained more than once about being neglected this way.

One way or the other, he knew that he knew nothing and for Elliot's good mood to last, Chris needed to accept some compromises. For the moment.

Finally, Elliot picked up four yellow tiles, scattering the rest in the middle.

"Your turn."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading ���� [Masterlist]

Taglist: @whatwasmyprevioususername, @canislycaon24

[fatefollowsdeertracks]

(You hear quick footsteps and then feel as something crunches into your neck. You take 22 damage as you feel the muscle in the back of your neck rip.)

-⚠️🪓

(Elliot yelps in pain as what you notice as golden blood seeps from the wound. He fully withdraws his gun as he whips around to aim it at whoever attacked him)

[homeagain-1]

Just come home

Idea: Angel is Fez's biological sister, and this is her story

Fezco and Ash with sister!reader

[ honestly just love the stories about the reader being Fez and Ash's sister]

[also sorry that this kind of sucks but eh.... i wrote it so i figured i should post it]

When it came to people that Fez trusted, it was a very short list. One of his grandmother’s many lessons were to hold your family close. Which is what he has done. Angel grew up within arms reach of her brother. She never strayed too far. No she had that quickly beaten out of her by her father.

If there is one thing he hated about the two siblings, it was how much Angel looked like her mother. The worst of the beatings came when her father was too drunk to remember who she was. He would beat her while screaming her mother’s name.

That is how she had found out that her mother’s name was Emily.

Angel grew up to hate how much like her mother she looked. She hated that she had dark hair instead of red like her brother. That her eyes were a hazel green instead of a clear ocean blue. That no matter what, it always looked like she wasn’t Fezco’s sister. But no one dared to make that statement to her.

I first met Angel at 13. And the only way I could describe her was that she was like a breath of fresh air. That no matter how rough and angry her like was, she maintained this peace and calmness to her.

When she was 16 she met and started dating Elliot. Her and I were close at that point and it wasn’t until they were together for a month that she told her brother. She was afraid that he would run Elliot off, threaten him a bunch and cause the boy to run for the hills. But angel doubted how much Elliot loved her.

After a year of being together, it was clear how in love with the girl he was. And that made Fez happy. It had been awhile since he had seen the girl so excited about something, and Elliot wasn’t all that bad.

Sometimes.

I had to be the one to tell her about Elliot and Jules. After I got sober I went to her house to apologize and to be the one to rip the beautiful girl’s heart out.

I heard knocking on the door while I was doing my homework.

I sigh before getting up and notice Rue through the screen.

“Holy shit dude are you ok?” I ask as I rip the door open and pull her to my chest.

“Yeah, look I’m really sorry about what happened. I was going through withdrawals and panicked. Is fez here perhaps?” Rue asks as she holds me back.

“No he and ash are down at the store.” I say pulling away and can see the anxiety still in her eyes.

“You ok?” I ask as I pull the girl to the couches. She sits down next me and we sit in silence for a few minutes before she turns to face me. There is something in her eyes that makes my heartbeat pick up. To the point that the pounding can be heard in my ears.

“You don’t know do you?” She whispers as she looks between my eyes.

“Know what?” I ask tentatively. Please don’t be anything bad.

“Um. So there was an intervention thing with me right. And Elliot and Jules came to my house. They were the one to tell my mom everything. And um Jules showed up wearing Elliot’s clothes. Which is normal because everyone has worn Elliot’s clothes right? But.. they um…-“ She rambled before stopping. She had looked down during her rambling and after stopping she looked up at me. As if she was showing me the two pieces of the puzzle and begging me to put them together.

“Just say it rue.” I whisper, I can’t be the one to do it.

“They both had hickies. And couldn’t look at me. Elliot told me after that they had hooked up the night before. They have been hooking up for a week before the intervention happened.” Rue said.

You know that feeling.

When the whole world stops.

The pounding in my ears stops.

My breathing stops.

But the tears don’t.

I remember the night of the intervention. After Rue had left the three of us sat in the living room in silence. The noise that broke it was a knock at the front door. Elliot stood there sobbing because of everything that had happened. I pulled him to my chest and held them that whole night. And he held onto me like I was the one piece of life left.

With the same hands that he had used to fuck Jules the night before.

“Angel? Are you ok?” Rue asked pulling me back into reality. I shook my head no and stood up from the couch.

“Could you give me a ride?” I asked as we both left the apartment.

That was a few weeks ago. We went to Elliot’s house and she grabbed all of her stuff. He wasn’t there but his cousin was. She sadly let the girl in and gave her a hug before she left. When Angel got home she blocked his number. If he wanted someone else, she wasn’t going to beg him to stay in her life. She had done enough begging in her life.

In the next two weeks her and I became really close. She was supportive during the process of me getting and staying sober.

And that is how we ended up here, on play night.

“Hey Fez, I’m about to leave.” She yells through the house. She walked into his room before chuckling at him struggling with tying a tie.

“Here lemme help.” She said laying down her purse. He smiled before dropping his hands to the side and allowing her the room to fix the mess he had managed to make.

“You look nice” He mumbled under his breath at his sister.

“Thank you, you look very handsome.” She said before getting frustrated and pulling the tie off his neck. “Looks better with out it anyways.” She huffed and stepped back from her brother.

“OK you know the rules, anything go wrong you-“ He starts going on his brotherly rant before she cuts him off with a swing of her hand.

“Yeah yeah, use the shortcut on my phone and it will send you and ash a message.” She said rolling her eyes.

“Ok, ok. I’ll stop.” He says with a laugh. We both move from his room and notice that Custer is now sitting in the living room. Ash sits next to him, ready to spring.

“I’m leaving. Love you guys.” I say grabbing my purse and phone before giving Ash a kiss on the head. I wave at everyone else and meet Rue outside.

“Oh wow you look nice!” She says from her bike.

“Thank you!” I laugh before jumping on the bike and we move towards the theater.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are nearing intermission when the text message comes.

We had decided to make the message simple and clear. One that we would know without a doubt what it meant.

‘ Run ‘

I looked down at the feeling of the vibration. When you don’t have many friends and those that you do have are in the same room, your awareness towards messages become stronger. I look down and read the one word and jump up from my seat and rush to the back door.

“Angel!” I hear a voice call out to me as I run down the hallway.

It was as if the stress of the moment caused me to forget the pain of the last few weeks. I spin around to see Elliot and Rue running after me.

“What happened?” Rue said as the panic started to set into my bones.

“I need to get home. Now” I say as they both nod. We move outside towards Elliot’s car. He swings around the driver’s side and Rue goes to get into the back. But I stop her.

“Rue, go back inside.” I say as I nudge her back to the door.

“No if there is something wrong I want to come with you. Fez is my friend too.” She says as she shakes her head.

“And you ran from the cops like a month ago. I need you here to make sure nothing happens to Lexi. Ok” I say as I push her back from the car. I get into the passenger seat and look through the windshield. I can feel Elliot’s eyes on the side of my face. Waiting for his next move.

“Go” I whisper as we speed out of the parking lot.

I don’t remember the drive. I don’t remember how many stop lights we go through. All I can see are the flashing lights. Once we stop I jump out of the car and move to run into the house.

“Ma’am you can’t go in there” A police officer stops me as I attempt to push through them

“Please wait those are my brothers.” I say as I continue to fight them. After a few moments I feel familiar arms wrap around my waist and pull me back into a comforting chest.

I stay there anxiously biting my lip until I see the ambulance pull up. They enter my apartment with two stretchers and come out with both of my brothers on one.

I start to scream and manage to rip myself from their arms. I rush over to the ambulance that they had put Ash into.

“Ma’am stop. Only legal guardians can get in the ambulance” the EMT stops me

“I’m his older sister, his legal guardian is in the other ambulance please. These are my brothers.” I whimper and he sighs before moving me to the front seat.

“What happened?” I ask as we drive to the hospital.

“The police raided the house, and the one back there got scared and fled to the bathroom. The cops ended up shooting both men before they realized that there was nothing there. So they sent us here. Once they are health they are both free to go.” He says calmly to me. As if afraid that one wrong word would set me off. I nod calmly as shock set in.

My baby brother.

My baby.

My brother.

The next few moments blur together. Elliot had managed to follow us to the hospital, and rue showed up later with Lexi.

“What happened?” Lexi asked as she moved towards me.

“There was a raid on the house. They shot Fez and ash and now they are in surgery. “ I say as I continue to stare at one spot in shock. The only thing keeping me grounded is the arm wrapped around my waist holding me as close to Elliot as the chairs will allow.

“Fezco and Ashtray O’neil.” A doctor says walking out into the the waiting room. I jump from the chair as he moves towards us.

“Hi, I’m their sister.” I manage to stutter out after a moment.

“Their wounds were pretty extensive, Ashtray’s more than Fezco’s. But after surgery it looks like they should both be ok. This is officer jones, he needs you to answer a few questions and after that you can go see them.” The doctor says as he gestures of the police officer behind him.

I follow the man calmly. After a few questions and 30 minutes I was free to walk into the room with my two brothers in it.

“Angel” I heard Ash whisper as I walk it. It was in that moment that the tears break. I rush to my little brother and hold him to my chest.

“I’m okay” He whispers over and over to me while holding me back to him.

“Fez?” I whisper as I pull away from my younger brother and look over at the other.

“Come on.” He whispers as I move into his bed and curl into him.

“Its ok. Everything is gonna be ok.” He whispers as he pets my hair, calming me down.

A promise in his voice.

A few weeks later Laurie was arrested in her involvement with Mouse’s death and for possession with the intent to sell. Fezco and Ashtray O’neil were able to walk away with a strong warning to stay out of trouble.

And Angel? She managed to stay close to me and encouraged me to stay sober for the rest of the year.

Even somehow managed to help me graduate.

[blameitonmy80hdbaby]

A running list of my 2022 obsessions (so far)

West Side Story

carried over from the end of 2021

No goddamn idea how it took me 29 years to see this musical

Also didn’t realize that Glee covered a lot of this music at the time it was airing and I gotta say it did NOT do a good job (went back and watched the episode)

Omg the music. The melodies. The soaring strings. The voices. The plot was okay, the music was fabulous and Sondheim (RIP) was a musical genius.

Mike Faist and Ariana DeBose stole the whole goddamn show. This is where my Mike Faist obsession began in full earnest (I kinda recognized him from Panic, which I hadn’t finished watching at the time)

Took until about mid/end of March to fully shake this obsession

Tonight (Quintet) is criminally underrated once you split all the parts in your head and then put them back together

Why of course I watched the original to continue my obsession. OG Tony was better. i loved OG Bernardo and 2021 Bernardo equally but obv hated OG Bernardo’s (and the rest of the sharks’) face paint.

Yellowjackets

I blame this one on Roz and Mocha (KISS 92.5 shoutout)

Immediately hooked but took a while to finish the last two or three episodes

Team “obsessed with Ella Purnell’s eyes”

One of those shows where basically everyone is unlikeable LOL except maybe Nat???? I like that messed up little bleached blond weirdo. Protect Nat at all costs.

May or may not have watched the entire season to see if there would be more cannibalism

Euphoria s2

As obsessed as I was with this show, s2 was a clusterfuck

Give Zendaya the Emmy for episode 5

Fuck Elliot and the pointless musical number

Lowkey would have dated Ethan. Ethan reminds me of my boyfriend but I don’t remind myself of Kat, who alternately annoyed me and bored me to tears this season

No more Nate I beg of you I am so fucking disinterested

I ship Fexi

Genuinely hoping this show did not peak in s1

Panic

I won’t fucking lie, I started watching this in last year and forgot about it bc I wasn’t invested, picked it up again so I could watch Mike Faist

Totally unbelievable, spoiled it before I finished.

Would probably still watch again for Mike Faist if I was going through Mike Faist withdrawals. Esp that scene in ep 6 😈🥵💦

Bridgerton s2

I binged this in a day

Something about the enemies to lovers thing made this season a bit * s p i c i e r * than s1, despite the fact that s1 had a fuckton (pardon the pun) of sex scenes.

I like being teased but holy hell that was difficult LOL (buildup was worth)

trying to convince my boyfriend to watch this with me. So far, he has refused.

I bought the first two books in the series, been too busy to read :(

My 53 year old male coworker and I have chatted about this show together (not in a creepy way) and i loved our chats (he’s read the books too!)

Dear Evan Hansen

Another thing I picked up due to Mike Faist withdrawals

Started with a bootleg copy of the stage show thanks to another lovely tumblr user and moved onto the movie shortly after

Already wrote a comparison post somewhere on this blog

Dude the plot is so…morbidly weird, but I’m so into the music.

Sincerely Me is my first and forever favourite, but the melody in Waving Through a Window and the subject matter of Requiem both get me every time and I love them as well

Lore Olympus

Okay this is cheating bc no new eps have actually been released in 2022 as of right now

But they’re coming this month

And I’m so fucking excited

Mare of Easttown

If anyone watches broadchurch and then asks me for another show that’s similar to it, I will always recommend this one (gracepoint who?)

My cinnamon bun Zabel. Too pure, too sweet, too lovable, too perfect for this life

When he kissed Mare and said how do you know what I want? I went WEAK. ZABEL, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.

Okay but this show was really well done. Strong female main character who was flawed but worth rooting for, complex mystery, lots of twists, interesting dynamics and parallels, therapy!! Character working on bettering themselves!! We love to see it.

Boyfriend DID watch this one with me (made him)

Julia (HBO)

I have a ridiculous love for the Julie and Julia movie. I blame the men (Stanley Tucci and Chris Messina) but I mean I adore food

Started watching this show last week and I’m really into it

We’ll see how invested I get but so far so good

[cybervigilant]

@fire-hoes -- “Ow, yeah, okay, that’s starting to hurt.”

“  You   have   a   CASANOVA   FRACTURE,   ”  he   replied,   facial   features   twisting   in   a   way   that   spelled   out   uncertainty.   They   had   to   MOVE   him   —   there   was   absolutely   NO   doubt   about   that   —   but   the   question   of   HOW   kept   resurfacing.   The   injury   was   of   delicacy   .   .   .   one   wrong   move   &&   whatever   INTACT   alignment   he   had   left   throughout   his   back   was   shot.   &&   then   they   had   a   BIGGER   problem   on   their   hands.   One   that   would   surmount   to   UNNECESSARY   &&  UNREASONABLE   bouts   of   PAIN.   Nevermind   the   fact   that   losing   whatever   remnants   of   CONSCIOUSNESS   he   had  (   &&   he   seemed   to   be   more   awake   than   the   LAST   Casanova   Fracture   he   encountered   )   weakened   every   minute   he   stood   there   CONTEMPLATING   their   next   move.   Nay   —   every   minute   NASH   stood   there   pondering   their   next   move.

Cheeks   puffed   as   his   lungs   slowly   inflated   with   air,   holding   it   hostage   as   he   tried   to   wrap   his   mind   around   the   mess   he’d   been   hastily   thrown   into.   The   initial   shock   of   the   landing   had   worn   off,   his   FACE   the   most   telling   sign   of   the   pain   that   had   just   begun   SEEPING   into   his   system,   &&   the   adrenaline   that   had   kept   him   FOCUSED   on   getting   HELP   (  the   uncertainty   of   whether   he   wanted   it   or   not   still   playing   largely   in   his   mind  )   had   QUICKLY   began   to   dissipate.   What   was   once   something   deemed   to   be   a   simple   TUMBLE   off   a   roof   (   simple   being   the   word   used   by   the   dispatcher   )  had   quickly   turned   into   a   nightmare.

“  There’s   a   DEFORMITY   in   your   heel.   When   you   LANDED   you   fractured   a   portion   of   your   HIP   or   LOWER   BACK.   Won’t   know   ‘til   we   get   you   to   the   hospital.   But   I   HAVE   to   put   you   on   a   backboard   so   .   .   .   ”  CONFIDENCE   in   his   actions   oozed   through   the   soft   exhale   that   had   expelled   itself   from   his   throat,   but   uncertainty   in   the   SMOOTHNESS   of   the   procedure   held   prominent   within   the   glance   shared   with   his   Captain.   THIS   WAS   GOING   TO   HURT.   Not   a   little,   not   a   smidge,   but   A   LOT.   The   faster   they   could   slip   the   backboard   beneath   his   weight   the   less   damage   they   risked   inducing,   but   the   PAIN.   The   same   pain   he   felt   coursing   through   his   entire   being   every   time   he   took   a   breath   —   the   burning   that   ripped   through   his   back   every   time   he   THOUGHT   about   moving   —   THAT   was   what   was   going   to   make   this   difficult.   People   tended   to   squirm   away   from   discomfort   —   an   involuntary   response   to   SURVIVE   without   misery   cascading   through   their   system   —   &&  it   made   things   like   THIS   dangerous.   Something   as   simple   as   a   MOVEMENT   turned   into   a   CHALLENGE   which   is   why,   as   a   final   breath   broke   free   from   his   lips,   he   began   again.  “   .   .   .   this   is   going   to   hurt   A   LOT   more.   I’m   gonna   need   you   take   a   breath   &&  try   NOT   to   move.  ”

The only reason he probably was still conscious was the morphine coursing through his veins still. He’d taken his hit two hours ago but it’d be in his system for 2-4 more. He had this shit down like a science by this point. 3 miligrams exactly, followed by Suboxone later to counteract any withdrawal symptoms. His perfect system. Most days it helped him convince himself he wasn’t an addict but part of him, somewhere in the back of his mind, told him he should probably tell these people that. Another part didn’t feel like speaking. Too focused on the pain ebbing up his back in sharp pangs to steady hurt. Elliot’s head turned a bit before hands gripped at the sides of his head to keep him still, some Korean guy. Instinctually, Elliot flinched a bit at the contact, eyes widening as he fought the desire to pull away from the contact. In any other situation he would have asked the person simply to not touch him but this wasn’t one of those times. From what he could see, he hadn’t fallen to the ground but a lower rooftop. This team must have climbed up here? The guy standing over him must be in charge, he had that look about him.

Casanova fracture. “That doesn’t sound like a real thing,” he commented dryly to Buck, face pinching in pain as Chimney carefully felt at the base of his skull and up the back of his head, making sure he kept Elliot’s position. Gray eyes closed and fluttered open as he tried to regain focus on his soundings. 

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚖 𝙸? 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝙸 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎? 𝙳𝚘 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛? 𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗?

As usual, his silent observer never responded. It was always a one side conversation but he still found comfort in it. Not much comfort right now with the pain he was experiencing. Elliot’s eyes had started to water a bit and his jaw clenched down with a groan as he shut his eyes again. He thought he was clenching his fists but he wasn’t sure if they actually were. Maybe a bit. Breathe and don’t move. Breathe and don’t move. He could do that, right? 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚜. “Okay. I’ll try.”

[likedbuzz-blog]

3 things to watch for as Steve Bannon and Ivanka Trump fight over the Paris climate deal

http://likedbuzz.com/3-things-watch-steve-bannon-ivanka-trump-fight-paris-climate-deal/

3 things to watch for as Steve Bannon and Ivanka Trump fight over the Paris climate deal

President Donald Trump’s advisers are reportedly having a fierce internal debate over whether the US should pull out of the Paris climate deal — the key international treaty to address global warming.

During the campaign, Trump promised to “cancel” the deal, and senior adviser Stephen Bannon wants him to follow through immediately reports Coral Davenport of the New York Times. On the other side, she notes, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Ivanka Trump are urging Trump to keep the US in the treaty, fearing that an abrupt withdrawal would have “broad and damaging diplomatic ramifications.”

But there are a few policy nuances to this debate that are worth exploring. If Trump does decide to walk away from Paris, pay attention to how he does it — since that could influence whether countries like India or Brazil end up scaling back their own climate efforts in response. Conversely, if Trump sticks with Paris, that’s not necessarily a total victory for efforts to tackle global warming, since a lot depends on how seriously the US works to reduce its own emissions — and how the State Department approaches negotiations on the treaty’s future in the years ahead.

“There are important degrees here,” says Andrew Light, a former senior climate negotiator at the State Department who is now at the World Resources Institute. “The further they step away, the more likely it will have repercussions in other countries.” To make this a bit clearer, here are three big things to watch:

1) If Trump decides to leave the Paris deal, how does he do it, exactly?

Under the Paris climate deal, nearly every nation has put forward an individual pledge to curb greenhouse gas emissions. The US vowed to cut its emissions 26 to 28 percent below 2005 levels by 2025. China vowed to get 20 percent of its energy from low-carbon sources by 2030. And so on. Countries also agreed to meet regularly and review and strengthen their pledges, known as “nationally determined contributions” (NDCs).

But the Paris accord isn’t a legally binding treaty — it hasn’t been ratified by the Senate, and it’s effectively voluntary. So if Trump wanted, he has a few options for pulling out, each more drastic than the last.

One possibility would be for Trump to invoke the Paris accord’s formal withdrawal mechanisms, which would take four years to complete. Far more radically, the US could pull out of the underlying United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, which would take just one year to do and signal that the US is withdrawing from all international efforts on climate change.

Either option would be seismic. “If they pull out altogether,” Light says, “the chances increase that developing countries like Brazil or India back away from their own commitments and say, ‘Why should we bother doing this if the world’s biggest historical emitter is completely out of the game now?’” That doesn’t mean other countries would exit the deal — China and India have their own reasons for acting on global warming — but a US withdrawal could well blunt the global momentum on climate action that has been building the past few years.

On top of that, if Trump opts for withdrawal, he’s likely to face all sorts of international condemnation and blowback. Europe, China, and other countries could threaten to withhold cooperation on issues the US cares about. Maybe Trump wouldn’t care. But it’s also possible, as Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) hinted to the Times, that Trump will decide it’s smarter to just keep the US in the Paris deal. After all, the individual pledges are voluntary. There’s no concrete harm in hanging around. Why not?

2) If Trump sticks with Paris, does he just ignore the US pledges?

Okay, now imagine Trump decides to stay in the Paris accord. After all the inevitable puff pieces about Ivanka’s influence subside, there’s still the far more important question of whether the Trump administration would try to fulfill any of the US commitments under the deal.

Odds are, they wouldn’t. Trump has already vowed to repeal many of Obama’s climate policies, including the Clean Power Plan to curtail emissions from power plants as well as various regulations around methane leaks from oil and gas operations. If Trump rips those up, it will be extremely difficult for the US to cut emissions 26 percent by 2025, as promised. And if the Trump administration tries to revise and scale back the US targets under Paris, that could undermine the deal from within.

What’s more, a central part of the Paris deal involves the US pledging $3 billion in aid to poorer countries to help them expand clean energy and adapt to droughts, sea-level rise, and other ravages of global warming. The Obama administration already chipped in $1 billion. But Republicans in Congress and the Trump administration have insisted they have no intention of delivering the rest.

Some experts think that Trump abandoning US commitments on aid could be nearly as damaging to international climate efforts as withdrawing from Paris altogether. “For the developing countries, this will be a sign that America is unreliable and that the benefits of staying engaged in climate negotiations are fleeting,” writes David Victor, a political scientist with the University of California San Diego.

That said, Light thinks this outcome would still be less disruptive than total withdrawal: “Say Trump stayed in Paris, kept its nominal targets, but dismantled the Clean Power Plan. There’d still be enough action from states and cities that you could imagine the US ending up at the very low end of its emissions pledges. And that would still leave the possibility that the US could rebound [on climate action] after one term of Trump. So that doesn’t give nearly as much ammunition to other countries to say let’s ditch this whole thing.”

3) If Trump sticks with Paris, how might US negotiators shape future agreements?

The 2015 Paris accord was only a first step in the long, grinding process of dealing with climate change — and a woefully inadequate step at that. If you add up all the NDCs worldwide, they don’t come close to keeping us below 2°C of global warming. They add up to a severe 3°C or more, depending on which analysis you trust:

The hope with the Paris accord was that these individual national pledges would be strengthened over time, as countries cooperated and pushed each other to increase their climate ambitions. So a key question here is what role Rex Tillerson and US climate negotiators might play in this ratcheting process.

For example: Over the next two years, negotiators are meeting at the UN to hash out rules around how to review individual country pledges and policies. This “transparency mechanism” could prove a contentious subject. The Bush and Obama administrations had long pushed for strict, uniform transparency standards. China and various developing nations, by contrast, have in the past preferred a “bifurcated” system that holds them to somewhat looser reporting requirements.

If Trump does stay in Paris, will the US try to hold China and other developing countries to the strictest transparency standards possible? And if so, how much leverage will the US really have here if we’re also reneging on our emissions targets and aid promises elsewhere? (Obviously, if the US leaves Paris entirely, it won’t have any leverage over transparency.)

This sounds like an obscure issue, but for many observers it’s critical. After all, climate change is a collective action problem. Countries are less likely to take the plunge and push for emissions cuts unless they know everyone else will jump with them. “To me, the essence of this agreement is what it can do to strengthen confidence that everyone’s doing their fair share, primarily through greater transparency,” says Elliot Diringer, executive vice president of the Center for Climate and Energy Solutions. “With greater confidence, everyone can do more. Weaker transparency rules would make it harder to strengthen confidence and ambition over time.”

Beyond transparency, the world’s nations are also supposed to formally take stock of their progress by 2018 and then submit new — and ideally stronger — NDCs by 2020. But this process of strengthening global pledges could get bogged down if the United States is falling far short of its targets because Trump dismantled US climate policies. It’s not hard to imagine India or China feeling less pressure to step up their efforts if the richest country on Earth is backsliding.

The basic point here is that the Paris climate deal isn’t guaranteed to succeed just because Trump sticks with the agreement. These nuances of what happens to a process that’s already well underway really do matter — and there are lots of ways the US could potentially weaken it from within.