#Email*

[cyberr-v0id]

Guys Jonathan hasn’t contacted me yet I’m worried did he set off ok guys???

[meerealsssss]

she she

she remembered my name <3

[hamletthedane]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Well fucks? Get to it!

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[victusinveritas]

[scensitive]

this is how your email finds me:

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:

his wife hasn't been kidnapped

their marriage is not healthy or functional

this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down

his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath

the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers

[glorious-spoon]

every genius who thinks mandatory two-factor authentication is a good idea should be forced to do tech support for a public library that serves a lot of elderly poor people

[visit-ba-sing-se]

I love ending e-mails with "thank you in advance". Like what are you going to now? Not do the thing I already thanked you for? Bring dishonor on yourself like that? No? I didn't think so. Check mate you have been played by the master of manipulation.

[i-dont-watch-movies-or-tv]

I feel like the age of having a "burner email" is gone. Out of curiosity,

[emoclone]

"unsubscribe" is not enough. i need a button that says "if you email me one more time i will track you down and kill you with a hammer."