#Elriel one shot

[nikethestatue]

When Elain Flew

A fluffy one shot. For @riafalcone1

"Which way are we going now?" Elain asked.

"West."

She furrowed her brow and muttered, "Which way is west?"

"West is west. The way we are going now," Azriel couldn't help but smile.

Cauldron-given powers apparently didn't extend to any of this Archeron sisters' understanding of West, East, North or South.

Even when he was training Feyre to fly, he needed to tell her 'right' or 'left' because once when he mistakenly said 'we are going North' she flew into a pine tree.

Elain scoffed at him and he laughed.

"That's stupid," she complained.  "Why can't you just say right or left?"

"Fine. We are going leftish."

Leftish.

Azriel was a liar. In fact, he loved lying. He loved deceiving. Sometimes, he did it maliciously. Mostly, it was a battle of wits with someone. Usually, he won.

Today, he was lying again. This time, to the girl that he loved. To his Elain, who was safely nestled in the circle of his arms, gently clutching at his neck. She trusted him and she wasn't afraid of heights, so she wasn't strangling him half to death, unlike Nesta, for example. In fact, she was a little too unafraid,  swinging her legs and wiggling against his chest, trying to get a better look. Today, just like every other day, when they needed to fly somewhere, Azriel lied and told her that for whatever magical reason, he couldn't winnow. Therefore, it was imperative that they flew. Of course he could've winnowed them--even here, to the Prison --and they could've walked the rest of the way, but to Hel with that. He much rather preferred to carry his wiggling brazen girl.

"What is that?!!"

Elain's excited cry of wonder and amazement alerted him, and his shadows swarmed around them as a precaution.

"Nooooo," she yelled loudly. "Take them away! Shoo-shoo!" she waved her arms, almost fucking falling out of his hold, trying to disperse the shadows.

"Careful," he snapped at her, put pulled the shadows back.

She ignored his tone and pointed out into the skies.

"There!" she exclaimed.

Ahhh. Now Azriel understood.

3 Pegasi were flying through the air, not too far from the two of them. He wasn't sure if anyone had noticed, but since the arrival of the Archerons in Prythian, a small herd of white and black Pegasi appeared on the grassy hills around the Prison. Legend had it that that's where they originated--in Dusk Court, where the Prison now stood. But over time, sickness took them, and their numbers dwindled, all the remaining Pegasi being stabled in Day now. Yet, a little over a year ago, a new, small herd just seemed to appear out of nowhere. Azriel had spotted them before, but he kept his mouth shut. Only Rhys was aware of their existence, and the two of them had an unspoken agreement not to let anyone else know, least of all Helion.

"It's a flying horse!' Elain cried in shock.

"It's a pegasus."

"I know what it is!!' she interrupted him impatiently. "I want one."

He hummed and told her gently, 'I don't know if you can just 'have one', Elain."

"Why not?"

"They are wild horses. They are extremely difficult to tame," he explained.

At that she huffed, like his explanation made no sense.

"I was a good rider when I was younger. I love horses. I had a pony named Marigold when I was a girl. She was a beautiful golden mare."

Her expression became pensive and a little sad.

"What happened to her?" Azriel asked softly.

Elain shrugged.

"She was sold. Like everything else. Like my childhood. Like Feyre's. Everything was sold."

He didn't respond, but banked and descended towards the grassy knolls of the island.

"They are coming with us!" she pointed out, when the Pegasi began dropping down from the sky.

Azriel knew that they wouldn't approach and that they were skittish and avoided Fae as much as possible.

He landed carefully and Elain jumped out of his arms, rushing towards the horses.

"Here horsey, horsey!" she called them. "I wish I had an apple! Or a carrot!' she lamented.

Azriel didn't have either, so there wasn't anything that he could do about that.

"El, come on," he beckoned her, but she waved him off.

"Ugh, give me a moment, Azriel! Whatever monster we have to talk to in there won't be going anywhere any time soon."

He chuckled.  She wasn't wrong.

So he stood and watched her, because that was his favourite thing to do in the world anyway.

And then, something remarkable happened. He stilled, watching with bated breath as one of the white mares cautiously, slowly headed towards Elain's direction. He stepped forward and the horse neighed angrily, as if she didn't want him near. He slowed and then stopped.

"Hello Mari," Elain murmured, opening her arms to the horse. "Come, beautiful girl. Come to me."

The Pegasus stepped closer and then closer still, until it towered over Elain, and pressed its nose into Elain's hair. Delicate fingers with short nails stroked the silky white mane and the horse nosed into Elain’s hand and then her shoulder, purring softly. 

“You are so pretty,” Elain cooed. “The prettiest girl in Prythian! Next time I come here, we’ll bring you a bushel of apples and carrots.”

Shit. Azriel winced. He’d have to carry Elain and a bushel of apples? And knowing her, it would be a large bushel. So be it. After all, he carried her and Briar, and his wings were fucked up and the king was shooting arrows at them, and he needed to guide Feyre, his High Lady, and coax her into flying. And he managed just fine. 

He could carry a bushel of apples and carrots, along with his girl.

Not many things shocked Azriel, but when the white pegasus gracefully lowered herself on the grass in front of Elain, he was genuinely shocked. This didn’t happen. He wasn’t lying when he said that they were indeed wild horses and taming them was near impossible.

Yet, here was one, willingly sliding to her knees in front of a Fae. 

Elain didn’t know how incredible this was. She was just excited. 

Throwing a tentative glance over her shoulder at Azriel, she stepped closer and then hiked her skirt up, exposing her legs, and then, to his utmost surprise, her pale soft thighs. This was turning into a much better trip than he planned. Only what she did next made him exclaim, “no, no, no. Get off! Right now!”

“No!” she sat on the horse and hugged it around the neck. “No way. I am not getting off.”

“Yes you are!” he threatened. “Remember how we discussed not putting yourself in danger needlessly. This is danger!”

“This isn’t danger,” she said incredulously. “This is a horse. My horse. My Marigold.”

And the moment the pegasus heard the name Marigold, she threw her wings out, almost knocking Azriel back on his ass and without any preamble, shot into the air.

Oh, Mother’s tits! No. No, no, no.

He rushed to catch up with them, while Elain screeched happily, hair flying around her, her cheeks red, the skirt billowing around her bare thighs, as she squeezed the horse’s flanks with her ankles. 

“Elain, I swear on the Cauldron, I will beat your bottom!” he yelled, flying closely to the pegasus.

She only laughed.

“What if I like it?!” she teased. 

It was his turn to flush. This girl was incorrigible. She didn’t listen. She was headstrong. And now she was flying next to him on a pegasus that she didn’t even need to tame.

She.

Was.

Flying.

The realization came to both of them at once. 

Elain was flying.

Next to Azriel. 

He was the first one to ever see her fly. He was the first one to ever see her joy, and her freedom. 

Suddenly, he recalled their first dinner together. She was still human. He was brought to his knees by her beauty. And she asked him, "Can you truly fly?” And he answered with something overly poetic and was hoping pathetically that she’d like his answer. He said that they were born hearing the song of the wind.

But now, it wasn’t just him and Cassian and the Illyrians.

It seemed that Elain was also born hearing the song of the wind.

[elrielbaby]

Here is my incredibly late entry to @elainarcheronweek 2024, for the day 4 prompt, home. I hope you enjoy, and the link to Ao3 is at the bottom 😊❤️

Elain stood in her bed chambers at the River House, almost glowing with excitement. Nuala stood behind her, buttoning up her gown as Cerridwen painted her lips a soft pink, only a shade or two deeper than her natural colour. Her cheeks had been pinched slightly, and her eyelashes elongated. It was almost time.

Nesta and Feyre sat upon the bed, watching her with an almost reverent expression on their faces. They were already dressed and prepared to go. Nesta wore a gown the colour of roses, with a high neck and full skirts that would no doubt look even more beautiful when she danced later. She loved watching Nesta dance. Feyre’s dress was midnight blue, with gossamer sleeves, and the lower parts of the dress falling in almost a whimsical fashion even seated. Both of their bouquets of white roses, violets and pink peonies sat beside them.

Nuala came to face Elain as she’d finished buttoning up her gown to stand beside her twin. They both looked at her, their eyes brimming with tears.

“You look so beautiful” Nuala whispered.

“Obviously she does. We’re the ones who made her up” Cerridwen joked.

Elain laughed and turned to face the full-length mirror that stood behind her.

She wore a white satin dress, with long sleeves inlaid with lace and a scooped neck. Her hair had been pinned up into an elaborate braid that sat on the back of her head vertically, flowers pinned into it artfully.

Nesta stood, a veil in hand. She came behind Elain to tuck it in to the top of her braid.

“I am so proud of you” She murmured into Elain’s ear as she pressed a light kiss to her cheek. Feyre came to her other side, and did the same.

“Now, lets go get you hitched”

Azriel was waiting in the garden. The River House garden to be precise. He had never been so nervous, he was fidgety, playing with his hands and pacing.

“Could you please stand still? You’re making me nervous” Cassian moaned

Azriel scoffed “Cassian, need I remind you of your behaviour during your own wedding? You almost had a break down because, if I recall correctly, someone had decorated with lilies when you had insisted upon daffodils”

Cassian rolled his eyes and muttered “Lilies play havoc with my allergies.”

The infamous Spymaster of the Night Court smiled. Cassian was the smartest idiot he knew and he loved him dearly. He realised he’d stopped pacing.

Theirs was to be a small wedding, which both he and Elain were more than content with. They had everyone they wanted there: Rhys, Cassian, Feyre, Nesta, Mor, Nyx, Amren (who had invited Varian), Nuala and Cerridwen.

The priestess who had performed Nesta and Cassian’s wedding and mating ceremony stood before them in her robes, hood largely covering her face, but the invoking stone could be made out shining proudly on her forehead.

The rest of the garden looked like a dream, in full bloom and cultivated so lovingly by his beloved. The sun was shining and just the right number of chairs were placed in a neat row on either side of a makeshift aisle.

Azriel, Cassian and Rhys all wore a similar style of suit, black pants, white shirt followed by a black jacket with a pink rose pinned to the lapels. Cassian had bemoaned being in a suit again, claiming he’d worn enough suits for this century, and bemoaned again at the flower being pinned to his jacket, claiming he’d be sneezing all throughout the ceremony. Elain had soon shut him up when in his package that had contained the suit and flower, there was a bottle of what she had called ‘allergy powder’ similar to that of the headache powder she had made for Azriel on that first solstice, when Azriel had dared to hope she might feel something for him too. He wasn’t sure whether it was her powers of foresight or that fact she just knew Cassian that prompted her to provide it for him. Most likely the latter.

Mor, Nyx in her arms, Amren and Varian arrived taking their seats on one side. Mor looked at him and beamed with pride, suddenly jumping up to give him what Azriel could only describe as a one-armed bear hug. She pulled back and looked at him, tears shone in her eyes.

“I’m so proud of you” she whispered, Nyx babbling on her hip.

There would have been a time that such affection from Mor would have his heart stuttering, pulse racing. Now he had no more affection for her than that of a sister. He had been slowly letting go of those more romantic affections for her for years of course, but then Elain came along and Azriel suddenly knew what true love was.

Elain had captured his heart from almost the moment he had met her. It had not been instant and all consuming (as it now was) but slow and gentle.

He was first struck by how beautiful she was, when they met in the human lands. That beauty had only been enhanced since she’d turned Fae, but he’d always found her beautiful.

Then he’d been struck by her gentleness, her kindness. She brought him peace in a way he’d never known and he felt like he could talk to her forever. As time passed, he was again struck by her quiet fury, her determination and her strong inclination toward the hope that things could only get better. She was wise beyond her years, observant in a way he’d only ever seen in two other people: Nuala and Cerridwen.

Slowly, that initial attraction and ease turned to friendship, and that friendship turned into something more. Azriel didn’t give two shits what anyone else said, be that some guy on the street, the Cauldron, or the Mother herself; Elain was his Mate of the soul. She was his love, and his love for her was undying. It surpassed anything Azriel had ever felt before, and he would be her husband and she his wife until his last breath.

Rhys had been wary when he’d first found out. In all honesty, he didn’t blame him. He’d never opened up to him on his feelings of a romantic nature. Rhys knew obviously, that Azriel had once loved Mor and up until very recently had thought he still did. Rhys was protective of Elain in a way, probably because she reminded him so much of his own sister. But it was more than that Azriel knew, there were too many potential fall outs that could happen if Elain and Azriel were to pursue each other. But Rhys was his brother, and his brother wanted him desperately to be happy. Once it had been put to Rhys that had the roles been reversed, and it was he and Feyre in this situation what would he do?

Azriel supposed that putting it that way to Rhys let him know how serious he really was about her. And so, Rhys came around. He was still wary of the aftermath of this, but he had told them both they would have his full support and they would meet it head on.

“I’m being summoned.” Rhys said, his head tilted in a way that told him Feyre was speaking in to his mind.

Rhys walked up to him, clasped him on the shoulder and pulled him in for a hug, then winnowed into the River House.

The music started, and petals started to fall gracefully from the trees. Azriel took a deep breath, and faced the priestess.

Rhys appeared directly in front of her beside the door into the garden.

“Are you ready?” Rhys said, holding out his arm.

Elain gave him a full grin, her eyes watery from emotion “I’ve never felt more prepared” she said.

Nuala and Cerridwen walked out first, their bouquets in hand, in their pink and purple gowns. Then Feyre and Nesta walked out, Nesta taking her spot beside Cassian who stood to Azriel’s right, Feyre next to her.

Elain and Rhys stepped out into the garden. Azriel looked so beautiful, in his suit, his hair falling in waves – she couldn’t wait to plunge her hands in to it later.

He looked at her, tears streaming down his face, which in turn set Elain crying.

They had faced so much to get here. The lies, the sneaking around, the wondering if they could ever properly be together. And here they were, in front of all those they held dear finally being able to profess their love from the very rooftops if they so wished.

They’d finally reached Azriel, the music stopping. Rhys took Elain’s hand, gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and pressed her hand into Azriel’s outstretched palm. She had eyes for only him. She stroked his thumb with hers as their hands were joined.

“Hi” she said

“Hi back,” he replied “you look more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.”

He took a step closer so that he could whisper in her ear “how precious are you about the buttons on this dress?”

Elain’s cheeks heated, and she swatted him playfully on the shoulder

“You rogue” she chuckled.

The priestess cleared her throat and began.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

They exchanged vows, promising to love each other in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse – and then they made their own personal vows to one another. Azriel led the charge. His hand in hers.

“Elain. I love you, and I will love you until we are but whispers in the wind – and in that whisper you will hear the story of us, of how I loved you with every bit of my heart and my soul. I wish never to be parted from you in this life or the next. It is my dream to come home to you every night and to talk to you into the small hours about all things. Your burdens are my burdens, your cares my cares. I will love what you love, and dream what you dream. I am yours from now, until the stars wither in the sky and the sun goes cold. You are my greatest joy, for now and always.”

Elain couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face. Now it was her turn.

“Azriel. I love you, and I will love you until my heart ceases beating and my lungs no longer draw enough air to speak your name. I will love you through this life, and endeavour to find you in the next. You are my home, my greatest gift. I wish for nothing more than to share a life with you, come what may. A home, children – I want it all, and I want it with you. You no longer need to carry things alone, for I am here to help you. We face this life together, and nothing or no one will stop us.”

Now they were all crying, Amren included. Even Varian appeared misty eyed.

They exchanged rings, and as their hands clasped and the priestess offered up a prayer to the mother a strange phenomenon occurred. Elain had felt an oddness in the air, not unpleasant but as if someone else were here with them. As the priestess spoke to the Mother, everyone gasped as they noticed the faint outline of a hand pressed atop Elain and Azriel’s.

The Priestess stopped. “The Mother approves of this union” she said solemnly but with all confidence. Azriel gave Elain a watery smile. He didn’t honestly care if she approved or not, but it was nice that she did.

“You are now joined as husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Azriel wasted no time, both hands on the side of Elain’s face as he drew her in for a kiss. It was all their kisses rolled into one. Sweet and tender, desperate and all consuming. His tongue slid into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Cassian wolf whistled, Mor whooped. Feyre and Nesta wiped tears from their eyes and then everyone was upon them, congratulating them.

“Listen, I know all you two want to do is go home, but I’m starving and Nesta has forbade me from the wedding cake until you’ve cut it, so, please?” Cassian gave them a pleading look, Nesta nudging him with her elbow.

Elain smiled. “Lucky for you Cass, there’s a full three course meal about to be served. Then cake.”

Cass swooped down and gave her a kiss on the cheek “You’ve always been my favourite” he grinned

“Hey!” Feyre shouted, chasing him into the River House.

They ate like Kings and Queens. Prawn cocktail to start, followed by roast beef and a mountain of vegetables, then treacle sponge and custard to finish. Everyone was positively stuffed by the time the cake cutting rolled around, which Elain and Azriel tried to get to expeditiously. They loved their family but they wanted to be alone.

Once that was done, they hurried through the goodbyes and stepped into Azriel’s shadows. They landed just in front of the doors to the Townhouse.

“This,” Azriel said “is our wedding present from Rhys. Welcome home”

Elain was stunned into speechlessness. It was absurdly generous, even by Rhys’ standards. But she’d always loved this house. It was where her new life truly began.

Azriel stooped to grab Elain behind her knees, whisking her into his arms, one arm supporting her back the other her knees.

He walked across the threshold with her in his arms, eyes on her the whole time. He set her down. Elain looked around the new home from the hallway. Azriel took her hand and she looked down at them, her hand in his.

“Beautiful” she whispered.

[duskandcobalt]

Ice Cream

Azriel takes Elain to a movie and gets a bit of a show.

Content warnings: suggestive language, sexual imagery but no actual sex (yet)

2.1k words

Read on AO3

…

This was a colossal mistake.

Azriel had no idea how he had ended up here, sitting in a half empty cinema that had somehow become his own personal torture chamber within the span of twenty minutes - all because of the girl at his side and a goddamn ice cream cone.

He’d been the one to suggest this, thinking nothing of it when he’d ever so innocently asked Elain to go see the movie that’d she’d mentioned wanting to check out a couple weeks ago during one of their stolen chats in her sister’s kitchen.

It wasn’t that they were trying to keep anything a secret - it was just that his feelings for Elain had caught him so off guard and he knew Feyre would ask a million questions about where he was taking her sister and why. It also didn’t help that Rhys was ridiculously overprotective of his sister-in-law… and that he’d explicitly told Azriel to stay away - that Elain was freshly out of a year long on and off again relationship and was emotionally vulnerable and under no circumstances was Azriel to finally try anything.

Why Rhys had any say over what he or Elain did, he didn’t know, but Azriel hadn’t been in the mood to discuss it any further when the topic came up after last year’s Christmas party where Rhys had spotted a very tipsy Elain sitting just a little too close to a slightly less tipsy Azriel and laughing a little too hard at everything his famously quiet friend whispered into her ear as everyone watched Nyx open presents.

He’d resisted for six months now - resigning himself to seeing her once every couple of weeks when he came to pay his godson a visit.

At first, he really tried his best to not interact with her outside of the niceties - a hello and goodbye, or maybe a quiet “how have you been?” while she transferred Nyx into his arms. But as the weeks and months went by - after Feyre all but confirmed that things between Elain and her ex were actually over for good - Azriel couldn’t help but seek her out, finding excuses to follow her into the kitchen after dinner or trail her around the garden as the weather warmed up, when he’d strategically show up ten or fifteen minutes before he knew Rhys usually walked in the front door.

Elain, by some miracle, seemed happy enough to go along with whatever had seemed to have bloomed between them after that Christmas party. Over the months, she’d opened up to him slowly - subtle glances and shy smiles had turned into unabashed laughter and actual conversations over baked goods that she claimed she’d made for Nyx but always seemed to be made fresh on the days she knew he’d be coming over for a visit.

Whether or not he was reading too much into their interactions was always a question burning at the back of his mind. He supposed that they could truly be considered friends by now but there were hints there of something else, he was sure of it. He just didn’t know if she felt the same. In any case, the way she had blushed and the eagerness with which she’d accepted his invite to this movie certainly reassured him that she returned at least a little bit of the level of affection he felt towards her.

When he thought about how this night would go, he’d expected a couple lingering touches - had prepared for a brush of their hands, maybe even a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night if they got really carried away.

He’d prepared for popcorn and a quiet night watching a heartfelt indie film with the girl he’d been silently pining over ever since they’d met at a group dinner when Feyre and Rhys had first started dating three years ago.

What Azriel hadn’t planned for is the ice cream that Elain had ordered, a wide smile on her face as she claimed “Why bother even coming to the cinema if you don’t get popcorn and ice cream?”

Azriel bought the ice cream for her, of course, happy to oblige her in whatever way he possibly could. He’d buy her the cinema itself if she so much as hinted that she had an interest in it.

He just hadn’t realised that by buying her this ice cream, he was signing himself up for the most torturous half an hour of his life because for all the scenarios he had thought of for tonight - what he hadn’t anticipated was the way Elain would slowly, slowly, devour that ice cream - all the while oblivious to the turmoil she was putting him through.

It had started out fine - her fingers wrapped around the cone as she worked at getting through the chocolate coating to the ice cream underneath but it had all gone to hell quickly after that first layer was gone.

He tried to keep his eyes on the screen, tried to focus on the film they’d come all this way to see, but at the first drag of her tongue across the top of the cone, Azriel was a lost cause.

There was no chance in hell that anything that could possibly be happening on screen was more interesting than what he could see out of the corner of his eye. He knew he should pay attention, knew she’d want to talk about the movie afterwards, knew he should have at least a little bit of an idea of what this movie was even about.

But he couldn’t take his eyes off of her, cursing himself for feeling like a teenage boy with fresh hormones.

Had ice cream cones always been so… phallic?

Elain never took her eyes off the screen for more than a second, all her interest focused on the film, as her mouth - those divine lips and tongue - worked that cone in ways Azriel had only dreamt of her working him in the latest hours of the night.

The way she re-adjusted her grip on the cone, the subtle tilt of her head as she ran her tongue all the way around the damn thing - forever ensuring that the top of the cone remained as smooth and round as when she had freshly pulled it out of the packet - the way she pressed her lips to the part where the ice cream met the cone to catch any drops, as if she was pressing kisses to it. He was convinced that whatever entity ruled over them had come up with this as a punishment for whatever he had done wrong in this life or a past one.

Somehow, the pain she was putting him through only increased as the amount of ice cream sitting on top of the cone got smaller. If watching her lick the ice cream wasn’t enough, Azriel was now subjected to watch as she wrapped her mouth around the whole thing - cheeks hollowing out before she pulled back with a pop.

Over and over again.

He was on fire, almost light headed at the sight - this had probably only been going on for about fifteen minutes but it felt like an eternity. His skin felt tight, his hands flexing and unflexing in the darkness - just itching to give in to three years worth of restraint - to reach over and touch her, to grab her hair and pull her to him, to get a taste of the ice cream on her lips.

He took a deep breath, subtly adjusting in his seat in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure that was currently pressing against the seam of his jeans - and to clear out the images that were currently clouding his ability to even fucking think clearly right now.

Visions of Elain kneeling in front of him. Her brown eyes hazy with lust as she took him first in her hand and then into her mouth, those pretty lips wrapped around him the way they’d wrapped around the cone. He imagined getting on his knees for her, sliding up the skirt she was wearing until he could see all of her, taste all of her. The last thought - of her completely naked on his bed, legs around his waist as her body arched up against his, his name like a prayer on her lips - whispered, sighed, screamed - over and over and over again as he filled her completely - had him adjusting the placement of the bucket of popcorn in his lap in a desperate attempt to cover the effect she was having on him.

His torture was almost over - the cone almost gone. She’d finally finished all of the actual ice cream and was tipping her head back to get every last bit when a trickle of melted ice cream dripped out of the cone and onto her chin before quickly sliding off her chin and dropping down to her chest, a line of white traveling right down to the top of her top where it finally stopped right in between the swell of her breasts, the light from the screen making it glisten like his own personal beacon.

The gods must really fucking have it out for him tonight.

He watched as Elain grimaced, setting down the bottom part of the cone on the tray next to her before she took her thumb and carefully gathered the ice cream from her cleavage, coming up and swiping her chin before she brought her thumb to her lips to suck it clean.

“Fuck” Azriel groaned, breaking the silence he’d been fighting to keep for however long she’d been eating that ice cream.

For the first time since the movie had started, Elain looked his way - eyebrows furrowed as she turned towards him, pad of her thumb still half in her mouth as she had the audacity to whisper to him.

“You okay?”

Azriel forced himself to look away from her mouth, to look into her eyes as he desperately searched his useless mind for something, anything to say.

“Fine.” He swallowed, one hand coming up to press against the side of his neck. “Sore neck.”

His eyes once again were pulled to her mouth as the corners of her lips turned down slightly and before he knew what was happening, her hand was replacing his - the thumb that was just in her mouth stroking the side of his “sore” neck.

Her action’s must’ve caught her off guard as well because she made to pull away as something surged between them at the intimacy of her touch.

“Sorry,” she whispered. He swore he could see a blush on her cheeks. “I don’t know why I…”

“It’s okay.” His hand covered hers, giving her a small smile and adjusting his grip so he could slot his fingers through hers, bringing their joined hands up so he could press his lips to the back of her hand before lowering their hands back down to the armrest between them.

He loosened his grip just slightly, giving her the chance to move her hand out of his grip if she wanted to. He waited - two breaths - but she didn’t move, her fingers only squeezing his once before relaxing again, the warmth from her palm flowing into the heat of his own.

His heart swelled, his body so full of emotions that all revolved around her that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to make sense of them. It was foreign to him. This wasn’t just lust, not just a passing infatuation. This was far past just a want to have her body against his, to be inside her. It was more of an intrinsic desire- the absolute need to know her - mind, body, and soul.

Rhys be damned.

Azriel decided then that she’d be worth it, worth the vulnerability it would take to pursue her. To get to know her. To allow her to get to know him. He’d spent three years fighting it but the past few months had slowly broken him down and he thought that if he didn’t at least try - the “what if?” would kill him years from now.

They could be good together, couldn’t they? He could let down all the walls he’d spent years building up, couldn’t he? To let someone in? To let her in?

“Azriel?” Elain’s soft voice broke him out of his racing thoughts as her hand slipped from his, leaving him with a feeling of emptiness that threatened to knock the air out of him.

“Hm?” He turned to her again, searching her face for any signs of uncomfort. For any sign of regret. For any reason at all to put a pin in his own feelings.

She just smiled softly, her face blindingly beautiful even in a dark cinema.

“Can I have some popcorn?”

[potatoplace]

the 1

Elriel, Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Alternate Endings: Gone | betty | The Prophecy

mini-series masterlist | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: All you had ever wanted to be was plain. And now, as a plain-faced High Fae, you want more. You want your mate.

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, self-loathing, suicide

Words: ~2.6k

Author's Note: I'm sorry. (I told you guys I've been having a rough week...) Apparently my brain is saying 'fuck Kinktober!' Even tho like. I WANT to write those... smut just doesn't feel in the cards for me today 😩 so have some tasty tasty angst instead. (I'm also watching an Eras Tour live so I'm hella cheered up now lol)

18+ only pls

🤍💙🩷💙🤍

Self loathing grew in your gut as you watched your family around you.

All of them were happy, reveling in the togetherness that they shared.

And your mate- your mate- was ignoring you. He was speaking to one of your sisters, absolutely enamored with her. And you couldn’t blame him.

Elain had always been the pretty one of the four of you, a shining diamond even in the filth of poverty.

Nesta was the one with regal beauty, her sharp eyes and the way she carried herself not letting anyone think otherwise.

Your twin, Feyre, was stunning, even if she herself had never seen it, the cleverness in her eyes and quiet grace drawing people’s gaze to her.

And then there was you.

You were… the ugly one. Your mother had said so, even though you were only a child when she passed. Your father had quietly agreed with her. Nesta had mocked your looks when she had had a bad day, which was nearly every day while you had been living in the run down hut after your family lost their fortune. Elain said nothing, but shot pitying looks at you when no suitor asked for a dance while you had still been human, even when it had been a ball thrown in your honor for your birthday. Feyre has been the kindest to you, reminding you that it’s what on the inside that counts…

But that didn’t appear to be so.

Even with a mating bond that you knew should draw Azriel’s attention, his eyes were still glued to Elain. He seemed to be able to breathe only when in her presence, taking in the same air as her.

And in your presence? He couldn’t seem to get away fast enough.

Being dumped into the Cauldron had made both of your sisters even prettier, and Feyre was no exception either after being turned High Fae.

For you, it had made you plain. No longer ugly, unless you counted the still crooked teeth and too small nose and thin mouth.

Just plain.

As a human, you had begged to whatever higher power there was that you could just be plain.

But now that you were, you knew it would never be enough.

Because while Feyre was right, your personality mattered more in a long term relationship than your looks, being pretty drew people in.

Being plain only made you fade into the background.

Azriel laughed at something Elain had said, the sound sending warmth through your body.

It should be you making him laugh, not Elain.

Elain, with her beauty and poise and perfect personality and her ridiculously handsome mate who wanted nothing but her time.

Elain, who seemed to want no one and no thing but your mate.

Your Azriel.

You tore your gaze away from the couple, who you already knew were in a relationship. Elain had confessed it to you a month ago, gushing about how their fifth date had gone and how she thought he was the one. She had told you first, knowing that you wouldn’t tell anyone.

After all, who would you tell?

It’s not like you had any friends in Velaris- or in the human lands, for that matter- and your other two sisters were so preoccupied with their mates and growing personal circles that they hardly had the time to look at you, let alone talk to you.

No. You were alone. You were a lockbox for all of her secrets.

Including that she was planning to officially reject the mating bond once Azriel offered a proposal of marriage.

That had made you sick to your stomach, but you had hidden it deep, deep down in your heart as you congratulated her and faked happiness, asking her when she thought he would propose.

“Any day now, I suspect. Azriel told me that he was planning for the future, and wanted to know if I would like to be a part of it,” she had sighed dreamily. “We just need to tell the family, I know that… Rhys was worried about what us being together would mean for court relations. But he’s just being dramatic, don’t you think?” Her chocolate eyes landed on you, so filled with hope that you couldn’t tell her that he was your mate.

“Yes, he’s just worried, ‘Lain. I’m sure everything will be fine,” you managed to say, and relatively normal at that.

That was last night, and while your eyes had drifted to the carpeting, they shot back upwards at the sound of clinking metal on glass.

Your mate, standing with a flute of sparkling wine in his hand and a knife in his other, had his arm locked with Elain’s.

He cleared his throat once he had everyone’s attention, his eyes passing over everyone-

But you. His eyes skipped over you, even now, with the bond flaring in your chest.

“Elain and I have something to announce, though Rhys already knows what it is.” You heard a hand slap against an arm, Rhys’s faked moan of pain, and Nesta scolding her mate. Azriel smiled at their antics, such a rarity on his face that your heart skipped several beats, leaving you lightheaded.

It most certainly wasn’t because of what they were announcing.

“Elain and I have been dating for the past two months, and we would like to make it official with you all now. In fact, the two of us will be moving into a cottage in town later in the month, and we would like to invite you all to join us for a housewarming party in two weeks.”

The inner circle broke into cheers around you, Cassian immediately encasing his brother in his arms and clapping him on the back.

“Congratulations, brother! I know you’ve waited a long time to find love.”

You remained seated where you were, offering a smile to the happy couple but staying put.

If you stood, you were sure to faint. Or be sick. Or both.

Nesta was the only other person who remained where they were, a skeptical look on her face.

“I hate to be the person to bring the party down…” She started, her voice weary. “But what of your mates? Haven’t you wanted one for your whole life, Azriel? What will happen when you find her?”

“If I find her, I will reject the bond, Nesta. My love for Elain eclipses that of what I thought possible, even with a mating bond. Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister,” Azriel answered, which seemed to be enough to have Nesta’s approval, as she stood and made her way to the couple.

“Then I’m happy for the both of you. But if you ever hurt my sister, you will deal with me,” Nesta warned, ice in her tone.

You didn’t stick around to hear what came next.

Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister.

And of course, he was right. How could you compare to Elain?

She was beautiful, yes, but she was also a perfect match for Azriel. Kind and caring, always ready to help people, not to mention she would be a wonderful mother.

And then there was you. Plain. Boring. Nothing special.

Even the Cauldron hadn’t thought anything of you, leaving you with a High Fae body but no magic to speak of.

You couldn’t even fathom why you had been made Azriel’s mate when Elain was such a wonderful pairing to him, and had the magical abilities to match.

You stumbled your way to the town house, where you had taken up residence once Feyre and Rhys had finished the river house. Once inside you quickly made it to your room and shucked off your clothes after locking the door.

Bare, you stood before the mirror and assessed yourself. It was a habit you had picked up once your family had regained their fortune after Feyre had been stolen away.

One that brought you no comfort, but you needed to do.

Your physique was fine, you had filled out in the past year of being fae.

But there was nothing… special about you. You were medium height. Your chest was a bit smaller than average. Your legs were on the shorter side, making your torso look too long.

And your legs… they were covered in small white scars.

Another habit that you had picked up, this time after turning fae.

And tonight would be no different.

You suppose the one saving grace of being turned fae was your quick healing, letting you destroy your body without anyone knowing.

And no one ever would, seeing as your mate was on his way to being married to your sister.

A sigh left your lips as you turned to your bed, fishing the small blade you kept underneath out from below the mattress.

Tonight would be no different.

Except now you knew that even if you confessed your bond to Azriel, your heart would be torn to shreds no matter what.

🤍💙🩷💙🤍

It was two months later, during Starfall, that your world crumbled further.

You had donned a plain dress in a midnight blue, with long flowing sleeves and reaching your feet. You had opted for flats, seeing as no one would pay you enough attention to notice if you were in heels or not.

No, no one would notice you at all.

Because Azriel had a ring in his pocket.

One that you had given him advice on, to choose something Elain would love.

A glutton for punishment, that’s what you were as you gazed at the beautiful couple, clad in matching blue outfits and beaming at one another.

You had attempted to stay home that night, only for Azriel himself to personally fly you up to the House of Wind, insisting that you needed to be there for Starfall.

You knew he meant their engagement, though.

He hadn’t even glanced your way once last Starfall, so you knew it wasn’t that you would be missed by him.

Still, you stood on one of the balconies, watching them. Waiting for the moment that your life would be forever altered, never to have a great love.

Because truly, your one chance at a great love was a mating bond. You knew that no one would choose you to spend their life with, not when you were so plain and boring with nothing to draw people in, to get to know you.

They were dancing together, so wrapped up in each other that it was painful to watch.

And then your feet were moving, leading you straight to them. You met them right as the song finished, the two of them just inches apart.

It stung.

“Azriel, may I speak to you for a moment?” You asked without realizing the words had left your mouth. “Alone, please? It will just be a moment, I promise.”

You cringed at yourself.

What were you doing?

Azriel glanced down at Elain, who nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he said softly, placing a gentle kiss to Elain’s lips before following you back into the House, away from the commotion.

“What’s this about, Y/N?” Azriel asked in a clipped tone once you were alone, anxiously glancing back to where you had left Elain.

“I…” You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. Are you really going to tell him?

“Well?” He asked impatiently, his shadows swirling around him.

“I… I’m your mate,” you said, the words rushing out all at once, and your tore your eyes away from his face and to the floor.

“You’re… You’re joking, right?” Azriel asked incredulously.

A dagger of ice to the heart, crafted of your own yearning and longing for him, for your mate.

“No, I… It’s true, Azriel. I am your mate.” Your eyes flicked back up to his face after you said it again, but you wished you hadn’t.

Anything would be better than seeing the horror in his eyes, the disgust twisting his features.

The dagger, forced in further by a hand smacking the hilt.

“You?” Azriel laughed. “Why would the Cauldron make you my mate?”

Twisting, bleeding, shredding your soul apart even as you felt the bond flare to life on his end, the very slightest stumble as he regarded you.

“I… I don’t know…” You whispered, barely audible.

“You’re not my mate,” Azriel said, stepping away from you. “You were never going to be my mate. You’re a fine enough person, sure, but how could you compare to Elain?” He shook his head, snickering to himself. “I suppose these five hundred years of waiting were for nothing. I’ll tell Cassian or Rhys take you back to the town house. Just…” He sighed. “Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me, hmm?”

And with that, the bond between the two of you was shredded, a wounded cry leaving your lips as you sank to the ground, clutching your chest where it used to reside, glowing brightly and giving you a reason to go on.

“I think it’s best for you to stay away from Elain and I. I wouldn’t want you getting territorial and ripping my love’s throat out of anything. Goodbye, Y/N.”

You barely heard him walk away, so overwhelmed with pain.

Why me?

Why was I his mate?

Why didn’t I just drown in the Cauldron?

With a great deal of trying, you managed to hoist yourself back onto your feet, stumbling your way to one of the unoccupied balconies, still clutching your chest.

Your gaping, empty chest.

Because Azriel still had your heart. He had shredded it, mangled it beyond believe but it still resided with him, leaving you with nothing but a hole where it used to be.

Your legs crashed into the edge of the balcony, your hands flying to the stone to steady you.

But it didn’t help, everything was still spinning, blood rushing in your ears as your heart kept beating somehow, somehow still physically intact even as you felt it was being ripped from your chest over and over and over.

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t live.

The very fact that Elain was so casual, so blasé about shredding a bond to bits had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your sister.

How could she condemn someone to this existence?

Because already, you weren’t living.

This couldn’t be living.

It couldn’t be.

You risked a peak over the edge, spying the sharp, jagged rocks below.

If you weren’t living now…

Before you could second guess your choice, you lifted yourself onto the balcony, letting your legs dangle for a moment.

Then you swung them over the stone, to the side that had nothing to catch you.

Well, nothing but the cold embrace of death.

Which at this point would be a welcome reprieve from the fiery hot grief flooding through you, grief at the bond that was never given a chance, a moment to be considered.

But perhaps that was all the consideration you needed. To know that you would only have been a burden of mate to the male you had fallen for.

You took one last, jagged breath into your lungs before you slid off the smooth stone, air rushing past you and-

This must be what it feels like to fly.

General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria

[courtofblooming]

my favorite elriel fics. 🦇♡

a long masterlist of my all time favorite elriel fanfictions on ao3, after being a fan of this couple for 4 years. all these fanfictions are special to me and i hope i can help other elriels that have been looking for recommendations. ✧・˚

— info: all completed fics. <3

!! ₊ ˚ ୨୧ ⋅ ̥ യ . 𖥔

“Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow” by Violetasteracademic, canon compliant, elriel’s story after acosf, forbidden love, angst, fluff, smut, long fic. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/54831724/chapters/138983473)

“A Court of Bones in Bloom” by ladyveravincent, canon compliant, elriel’s story after acosf, forbidden love, long fic, slow burn, eight court theory, angst, eventual smut. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58554709/chapters/149179024)

“Pretty Little Angel” by DottieLovegood, canon compliant, elriel’s story after acosf with a twist, BDSM, azriel owns a club, smutty. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30617429/chapters/75532637)

“Freshly Baked” by elainsroses, canon compliant, series with three oneshots in it, fluff and domestic, elriel are together and happy, baking, kisses and a pregnancy plot, pure fluff. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2759089)

“Wildest Dreams” by tswaney17, canon compliant, established relationship, elain and azriel’s children, happy endings, pure fluff, elriel have a little family together, soft azriel. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55844830)

“Stargirl” by duskandcobalt, canon compliant, elain and azriel are spending some time together when elain has a vision, smut, sneaking around, secret relationship, stolen moments, kitchen sex. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50867182/chapters/128505301)

“For A Taste Of You (I Will Do Anything)” by keeparecordofthewreckage, one shot, post acosf solstice, smut and smut and angst, set on starfall, did i mention smut? (https://archiveofourown.org/works/36913843)

“A Tapestry of Dreams and Reality” by ImaginativeInk, canon compliant, elain’s cauldron powers, elain and azriel find themselves in the mystical realm of dreams and their connection continues to unfold. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53269846)

“Be still, my foolish heart” by roselensedeyes, canon divergence, adoption, original characters (children), adopted children, elriel are mates, wedding + pregnancy, elain volunteers at an orphanage in velaris. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50680402/chapters/128026141)

“Love Confessions, Meddling Brothers and Raspberry Tarts” by obisidian_witch, canon compliant, angst with a happy ending, secret relationship, secrets, chosen love, post acosf, elain learns the truth about what transpired on that dreadful solstice night, from both azriel and rhysand. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/57625048)

“Across the Hallway” by tswaney17, modern au, elain is a baker + azriel is a detective, small fic (5 chapters), elain has a cat! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39325395/chapters/98412099 )

“Night of Wings and Roses” by ThatTrable, canon compliant, fluff and angst, post acosf solstice, feyre as the wingwomen. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43561515)

“all’s well that ends well (to end up with you)” by miss_belivet, canon compliant, set on acofas solstice, elriel are mates, the bond snaps in front of everyone, potatoes. ♡ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40069968/chapters/100352508)

“To Dine Like Gods” by elainsroses, canon compliant, pure smut, body worship, azriel has found god between elain’s thighs. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56211508)

“Too Sweet (for me)” by slythrhys, canon compliant, forbidden love, pure smut, secret relationship, azriel can’t get elain out of his head. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55180729/chapters/139943131)

“Kneading Dough” by tswaney17, canon compliant, one shot, fluff and smut, in the kitchen, mostly smut + shadow play (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40041990)

“Crimson Clover” by miss_belivet, canon compliant, blood kink, azriel reacting to elain carrying out an extreme act of violence, protective elain, auntie elain, lain protects nyx, its bloody. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42530709/chapters/106825986)

“Bound in Ivy” by yourstarsmyscars, canon compliant, secret relationship, elain’s powers, forbidden love, smut, elain has a secret, azriel wants to find out. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46678417/chapters/117559789)

“The Bet” by DottieLovegood, modern au, pure smut, established relationship! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/34488118)

“I Do Bad Things with You” by tswaney17, modern au, long fic, mob boss azriel, doctor elain, angst and smut, ex lovers + slow burn. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31926901/chapters/79064530)

“Woman Made of Flowers” by yourstarsmyscars, medieval au, enemies to lovers, azriel kidnaps elain, azriel and elain are from enemy kingdoms. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44467921/chapters/111848692)

“We Don’t Have To Dance” by Separatist_Apologist, canon compliant, post acosf solstice, set on hewn city, elain makes azriel quite literally beg on his knees, jealous azriel, elain taking her revenge after the solstice, smut. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/44899510)

“The Pointe of Love” by pinkrasberryfish, elriel + nessian centric, modern au, nesta and elain are prima ballerinas, they dance at the velaris ballet company. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43076520/chapters/108246912)

“Freefall” by yourstarsmyscars, one shot, canon compliant, elriel angst, pining, smutty ending, post solstice, yearning. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43696293/chapters/109975251#workskin)

“The First Solstice” by NikeTheStatue, one shot, canon compliant, re-imagining of the acofas solstice in azriel’s pov (headache power + gardening plans till 3am) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43749949)

“Breathless” by miss_belivet, one shot, canon compliant, post acosf solstice, forbidden love, smut, sneaking around, elriel do the dishes after a family dinner. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46398019)

“Wrap Me in Your Skin and Bones” by citizenofvelaris, azriel and elain sequester themselves in the townhouse, mating bond frenzy, elriel are true mates, some peace and quiet. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53212210/chapters/134650879)

“Guilty As Sin?” by fawnandshadows, one shot, modern au, elain moves to a new apartment after her breakup and gets a hot firefighter as neighbor, azriel is a firefighter. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55702369)

“6/8” by Shulkitten, alternative universe - music, azriel plays the piano, one shot, vanilla elriel, smut and fluff, elain has a hand kink, azriels is elains piano teacher. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40513584)

“Touch Me, Hold Me, Tell Me” by miss_belivet, canon compliant, post acosf solstice, azriel disobeys rhys orders, plot what plot?, forbidden love, secret relationship, azriel is feral, elain is his princess. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53566822)

“Under the Weeping Willow” by duskandcobalt, canon compliant, forbidden love, secret relationship, sneaking around, azriel and elain have their best time at the garden at night. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53309260)

“I choose you and me, religiously” by slythrhys, canon compliant, one shot, forbidden love, secret relationship, sneaking around, fluff and smut, clandestine meetings, sweet & spicy. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55701385)

“The First Flight” by NikeTheStatue, canon compliant, one shot, set on acowar, azriel flies Elain from the house of wind to the townhouse. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56840626)

“Cruel Summer” by citizenofvelaris, canon compliant, forbidden romance, secret relationship, smut, elain finally finds some relief from the hot summer nights of Velaris. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46476226/chapters/117022795)

“Gasoline” by yourstarsmyscars, modern au, one shot, smut, azriel is a biker, azriel agrees to teach elain to ride a motorcycle, it’s not the only thing she wants to ride. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42909471)

“crumbs” by Demarogue, canon compliant, established relationship, fluff and smut, baking, kitchen sex, elriel future, sometimes, learning how to bake is foreplay itself. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42695196)

“Silver Linings & Raspberry Fortunes” by slythrhys, modern au, bartender au, fluff, flirting, azriel is a bartender and elain is in a blind date. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55628383)

“Let Me” by obisidian_witch, canon compliant, established relationship, elain is in love, azriel is in love, fae cycles, pure fluff, it’s that time of the month for elain, lucky for her, azriels sole purpose in life is to care for her. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58103275)

“The Housewarming” by hozierhys canon compliant, post acosf, fluff and smut, forbidden love, getting together, or five times Elain and Azriel almost kissed, and the one explosive time they did. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/54361855)

“Salted Cashews” by NikeTheStatue canon compliant, a fic inspired by the the “fated mates” quiz on sjm’s website, fluff, elain gets azriel. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56795722)

!! ₊ ˚ ୨୧ ⋅ ̥ യ . 𖥔

the end.

[azrielsbreedingkink]

No cause (18+ NSFW under cut)

If this universe didn’t have such an emphasis on being able to scent shit you just KNOW that man would bend her over in a corner of a party and send her right back out to socialize without cleaning up. And she’s into it.

(If that sounds familiar definitely got the idea from Flawless by Elsie Silver lol)

Hey, pretty Elriels

MATURE CONTENT BELOW (+18)

I recently found out about what really means “written mine on my upper tight” according to man and I’m shook. And it became impossible to not link this with how freaky Azriel can be and… hear me out… I think it was @nicolemabes that pointed this possibility in my other post but… breeding kink???

Maybe?

Of course mother Sarah doesn’t know the meaning behind the lyrics, for sure, but I can stop thinking about it hahahahha I need to get my mind out of the gutter, Jesus Christ hahaha

[thatacotargirl]

Hi there, still accepting requests? For some reason I'm in the mood for some classic Elriel angst 🥺 maybe where Inner Circle reader loves her best friend Azriel and secretly knows that they are mates, but he was always in love with Mor and now seems smitten over Elain, so she's scared to tell him in case she gets rejected, and she doesn't want him to feel forced to be with her because of the bond, but he finally realises (maybe when reader is about to give up on him and go on a date with someone else or leave the night court) and they get their cutesy happy ending together 😊

Hi there! I absolutely am, thank you for the request! I’m a fluffy writer at heart so this is my first attempt at any kind of angst - I hope I do your request justice!

Inbox is always open for requests ❤️

Divider is from @tsunami-of-tears , you are an absolute genius! Thank you for making such beautiful dividers ❤️

Misunderstandings

An Reader x Azriel one shot

"AZ!"

You hear screeching laughter from the library of the House of Wind and you feel your heart crack, your stomach drop, and your head spin, knowing exactly who that laughter is coming from. The strawberry pastry in your hand drops to the floor as you pop your head around the door, careful not to be seen, and see Elain balancing precariously on Azriel's shoulder. Azriel, who is known for his reserved nature, his lack of comfort for physical touch, has Elain hoisted on his shoulders and is guiding her towards the bookshelves so she can reach the book she is looking for. Only, he keeps pretending to trip, or to drop her, or to forget she's there - making her scream and grasp onto his arms tightly. In other words, he is flirting with her.

You feel tears pricking in your eyes as you slowly back away and close the door quietly behind you, desperate to not hear the laughter any more.

When you had felt the bond snap with Azriel 75 years ago, your heart had soared. You had harboured a crush on the Shadowsinger since the first moment you met him and to know he was your Cauldron destined mate had been the best moment of your life. Only, the bond snapped one-sided, and Azriel had yet to realise. Sometimes you would tug on that little golden thread, other times you'd yank on it harshly, hoping for any sort of reaction from him, for him to realise who you were. But nothing.

Instead, you watched as Azriel pursued an unrequited crush on Mor for centuries. She had no idea that you were mates, the only person that knew was Rhysand - and likely Feyre by extension. She didn't know how much it hurt to watch Azriel follow her around, his eyes full of metaphorical hearts. You saw the pitying looks from Rhysand every night at Ritas when Azriel would make a sly attempt at garnering Mor's attention, his back turned to you.

You and Azriel had always been close, he was easily the best friend that you had ever had. You could fall into comfortable silences with each other, neither of you particularly extroverted people, especially not by comparison to the rest of your family. But there was always a very clear line in your friendship and it was never once crossed. You'd hug, if the situation warranted it, you'd sit next to each other at meals and on the sofa, he'd help you if you asked; but you knew he didn't see you the same way that he saw Mor.

And now, Elain.

You had caught the pair of them in the kitchen just last week, laughing and covered in flour as he watched Elain bake. You saw them sat shoulder to shoulder in Azriel's study late at night, giggling over who knows what. Azriel had never looked this happy before.

You didn't realise you were crying outside the library door until you felt a hand on your shoulder and the sensation of winnowing around you. When you looked up, you were in Rhysand's office and clasped to his chest.

"I'm so sorry, y/n. I told him to stay away from her, on account of her being a mated female, I thought he'd listen".

You could do nothing but cry harder. His feelings for Elain surpassed even an order from Rhysand - and Azriel never defied Rhysand. You heard the door open but didn't look up, too busy soaking Rhysand's shirt in tears. You felt someone pull you towards them and your body was engulfed in another, large male. You would know Cassian's scent from anywhere.

"He's a fool, y/n", Cassian whispered into your hair. You looked up at him, and then glared at Rhysand.

"I didn't tell him!", Rhysand said, holding up his hands in innocence.

"He didn't have to tell me, y/n. I figured it out a long time ago - for a Spymaster, I'm amazed he's so damn clueless".

You only cried harder, your head on Cassian's chest, mindful of his siphon. He held you whilst you wept, slowly guiding you both to the sofa in Rhysand's office.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Rhys".

"Do what?"

"Stand by and watch him fall in love with every female that isn't me".

Both Rhysand and Cassian looked at each other, concern marring their faces.

"What are you saying, y/n?".

"I need to leave, Rhys".

You didn't know how long you intended to leave the Night Court for. Rhysand had spoken with Tarquin and had agreed that you would go to the Summer Court. You would find a home and work there, and Tarquin would allow you to stay for as long as you wanted - forever, if that was your decision. He had even lifted the ban on Cassian, allowing him to visit, but only if supervised by you at all times. You had formally resigned from your role as Night Court emissary and began packing your bags.

Mor and Feyre, teary-eyed, sat on your bed watching you pack - Mor secretly pulling out clothes from your suitcase so you'd have to re-fold them and stay longer.

"Mor".

"Please don't leave us, y/n. Azriel is an idiot, he's not worth leaving over".

You had told them about your mating bond with Azriel. Nesta and Amren also knew. But you'd been careful not to tell Azriel or Elain. You didn't want Azriel to leave Elain just to be with you because of the mating bond - you wanted him to be with you because he loved you. But he didn't. He loved her.

"I have to, Mor. It's time I get some space and find my own feet again. All these years have been taken up by Azriel and waiting for him - I deserve more than that".

She sighed, her head hanging in resignation. She knew you were right.

As you put the last of your clothes in the suitcase, you moved it to the door where your boxes waited to be transported to the Summer Court. You heard a knock, expecting Rhysand, but opened the door to a grinning Elain.

"Hi y/n! I was just wondering if you wanted to go..."

Elain looked from you to the suitcase, to the boxes, to Mor and Feyre's tear-stained faces, and then back to you.

"What's going on?".

"I'm going away for a little bit - just to the Summer Court. But you can visit, and I'm sure I'll visit here again".

Elain's lip wobbled.

"For how long?".

Feyre couldn't hold back her sob and at that moment, Elain realised you might be leaving forever.

"Why?".

You wanted to tell her the truth, but her sweet face made it hard to be angry at her. She didn't choose this. She didn't know that Azriel was your mate. She is just a young female thrown into a new world and making the best of it.

"Just need a change of scenery", you reply, forcing a smile on your face. You watch as Elain's face changed from heartbroken to panic-stricken, and she ran from the room.

"I think maybe that was one change too many for her", Mor sighs.

"I'll go after her", Feyre says, standing from the bed. She pulls you in for one last, long hug and flies from the room, hiding the new batch of tears streaming down her face. You see Rhysand standing in the doorway, his hand outstretched to you.

"Ready?".

You nod, taking his hand in yours and feeling his powers fill the room as he winnows you to Adriata, the Summer Court, your new home. You felt a lightness take hold of your body that had been missing for the last 75 years. A sense of calm and peace. Your heart was broken, but it could heal, you could find yourself again and feel happiness and joy at the small things in life, things you sorely missed.

But, if you'd have tugged on that golden thread one last time, you'd have felt Azriel's answering pull back.

Elain thundered through the House of Wind and up the stairs to the training ring on the roof. She burst the door open to see Azriel lighting the last of the candles that surrounded the picnic blanket, rose petals littered the floor, and a strawberry pastry sat on a plate in the middle. Azriel knew they were your favourite, and knew it had to be the food he offered you for the mating bond.

"AZ, SHE'S GONE".

Azriel whipped his head to the door to see a dishevelled Elain standing there, red in the face and out of breath.

"Gone where?"

"The Summer Court, she's left the Night Court, Az".

Azriel felt his heart sink. He had only felt the bond snap a few weeks ago and had been planning this night ever since. Elain, his new friend and confidant, had been helping him. She had helped Azriel find and read your favourite romance novels in the library to know what you liked from a partner, she had helped Azriel learn how to bake your favourite pastry so it would be perfect for you when you accepted the mating bond, she had taught him calligraphy so he could write you the love notes he knew you swooned over, the pair of them giggling at Azriel's attempts to be a hopeless romantic, and failing terribly.

He never imagined that you would leave before he could tell you how much he loved you. That you would leave without even saying goodbye.

His head reeled as he stumbled backwards. Without a second thought, he took to the sky, wings beating harder than they ever had before, towards the Summer Court.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Tarquin". You were in awe of the home he had provided for you in Adriata. A beachfront, two-story home decorated to the nines in shells and pearls. It was glorious.

"It is my pleasure, y/n. Please, do enjoy everything that my Court has to offer. This particular beach gives a beautiful view of the sunset".

With that, Tarquin departed - allowing you time to process your move and absorb your new surroundings. You walked down to the ocean, your beautiful new sundress blowing gently in the breeze, and felt the water flow up to your mid-calves. It was pleasantly warm, heated by a day of sunshine, as you watched dusk start to coat the horizon.

That was, until something crash landed in the ocean in front of you.

Before you were able to turn back and run, you noticed a black membrane bob up out of the water, followed by a blazing blue siphon. You heart stuttered as you watched Azriel swim as fast as he could to you.

"Y/n", he breathed, his hair matted to his face with sweat and salt water. In his hand, you noticed a soggy, crumbled, almost entirely disintegrated strawberry pastry. Gaping, you watched Azriel offer the pile of mush to you.

"Az?"

"I.... love.... you", he heaved, trying to catch his breath.

But you were pretty sure you stopped breathing altogether. You heard more noises behind you, and turned to see your entire Night Court family there, having been winnowed in by Rhys, Feyre and Mor.

"What is going on?".

Rhys stepped forward and offered you his hand.

"Let me show you". So you did.

Once joined, Rhys entered your mind and showed you memories from Elain and Azriel's minds. You saw the moment the bond snapped for Azriel, the grin that had taken over his face when he realised, the sheer excitement she had felt at knowing two of her friends were mated. You saw the conversation between them - Azriel asking her to teach him how to make your favourite strawberry pastry. You saw, from their eyes, what they were giggling about at Azriel's desk - the poorly written love notes, all addressed to you. You saw the book Elain was reaching for in the library from Azriel's shoulders - your favourite romance - and how they studied your tabs and highlighting like their life depended on it. You saw the picnic. You saw Azriel's heartbroken face when Elain told him that you had left.

As Rhys withdrew, you realised that you were crying. When you looked up, you realised you weren't the only one, your entire family was in tears - Cassian near blubbering into Nesta's hair.

Azriel loved you.

You turned to face him, still completely sodden and holding out the mush to you. You took it, grimacing slightly, and shoved the entire pile of it into your mouth.

"I love you too".

Azriel flew at you, grabbed you into his arms and kissed you like he would never get another chance. You dropped your shield and felt the bond overflowing with love, Azriel pushing all of his emotions to you, almost knocking the breath out of you once more.

"Come home?", he asked quietly.

You nodded, leaning in to kiss him again. Then paused.

"But, maybe in a couple of weeks?". Azriel looked at you with confusion, before his eyes suddenly darkened, a feral look overtaking his face.

"Aaaaannnddd, that's our cue to go", Cassian laughed, your family all grappling at each other to get out of there quickly, not wanting a front row seat to your show.

You paid no attention as you let Azriel lift you into his arms and carry you towards the beachfront house. You simply smiled, feeling comfort in the fact that, maybe, everything really was going to be ok.

[bookfanatic06]

I haven’t written anything in over a decade, but this head canon just won’t go away. I’ve often wondered if the idea of “like calls to like” will be prevalent in Elriel’s book like in all the others. I really feel like Elain is hiding some deep shit that just can’t be ignored. This piece is really what I think could happen if Elain deep down shares Azriel’s penchant for self loathing and low self esteem. She gets so much crap from the fandom for being boring, I really see her surprising us with some darker personality traits.

Also, my favorite thing about this other than the Elriel fluff is Nesta. I wanted to see her and Elain making up after the events of ACOSF on page. I didn’t hate Nesta, just thought she treated my baby El poorly.

I’m not sure if I’ll write more to this, or if it’s going to stay a one shot. I’m also not sure if I’m ready to post to AO3. I’m a mom with 3 kids and a full time teaching gig. I’m not sure I have it in me.

So here is my first shot at writing Elriel.

Unworthy

Words: 5112

Angst/Romance

Pairings: Major: Elain Archeron/Azriel,

Minor: Feyre/Rhysand, Cassian/Nesta, Varian/Amren

———————

Remember who you are, Kingslayer.

She breathes to herself as she stares at her reflection in the mirror, plastering on the smile she knows her family would never second guess. Perfected so much over the years in her mother’s keep, as she was taught to never reveal her true emotions, to never let anyone see the heartbreak, the pain of unworthiness embedded in her very soul.

The dreams plaguing her at the moment, the ones that increase with the unyielding torrent of emotions swirling in her mind, are of her family having lost their use of her. That she has become a burden that they can cast aside so needlessly. So she sits at the mirror and contemplates how to be helpful. She’ll practice those new recipes that she received from that fae female at the market. She’ll make the gardens of Velaris so beautiful, people will ask for her. She’ll care for Nyx when his parents need a break.

But still, she feels the hole in her chest and wonders if it’ll be enough. Will she forever be cast aside or passed over in favor of her sisters because of their far more important accomplishments?

What exactly has she accomplished?

I killed the King of Hybern. She whispers so that only the shadows can hear. Not Nesta, as all of Prythian seemed to believe. She knows she pushed that knife into his throat, she still dreams about it; still feels the hilt of the blade in her hands. Even the shadows, the ones that she felt the comforting presence of for so long, have gone quiet since solstice.

She knows that her sisters are magnificent. That they both have earned their right to voice their opinions and be cherished in this world. Feyre, the High Lady that the Night Court deserves, and Nesta, the warrior she was always meant to be. But Elain, she carries the weight of unworthiness everywhere she goes. She wasn’t born to lead, she wasn’t born to be a warrior. She was born with a gentle heart, with a delicate resolve. But a will of iron.

You shoved that knife into his neck. You aren’t as gentle as you believe yourself to be.

She’s intimately familiar with self loathing by now. It curls around her like the vines that wrap around the fortress of her mind. But that voice, the voice that is hers, but much more confidently so, tries to remind her of what she has to offer. Her heart breaks as the self loathing pushes through whispers, “He doesn’t want someone who is brittle and weak. He wants someone courageous, someone with fire in their heart, someone like…”

Mor.

Despite the months that have passed since she found herself alone in the foyer in the early morning hours of Winter Solstice, she is still tortured by the thought that even her dearest friend, or whom she believed him to be, had been repulsed by her meritless existence. The pain of that night has yet to ebb, and she wonders if, at some point in her immortal life, it ever will.

She huffs a breath and stands from her vanity, moving to open the door and walk into the hallway, that gentle but false smile she’s perfected on her face.

As she reaches the kitchen, she is surprised to find Feyre, eyes clouded with sleep, hair poking out of the halfhearted braid she probably threw together before bed the previous night, holding a bottle to Nyx’s whimpering mouth.

“I think he’s starting to teethe. He’s been like this all night.” Feyre’s eyes flicker to Elain quickly before resting on her son’s mouth as it attaches to the bottle and then detaches with a small wail. Elain opens her arms, a silent request to take over – and make herself useful.

“I’ll take him, you go get some sleep.” She says gently, taking the babe into her arms. Feyre gives her a tired smile.

“Rhys and I are so lucky to have you here with us, El.”

Elain’s false smile returns to her features, and before she can give herself away, she shoos her sister out of the kitchen to take over as Nyx’s caregiver. She cradles her nephew to her, his chest to her own, rubbing circles on his back, between his little wings as she’s watched her sister and Rhys do time and time again. For a moment, the hole in her heart fills with the love she has for the babe in her arms. It doesn’t escape her, that if her life hadn’t so explicitly changed thanks to the betrayal that left her at the mercy of The Cauldron, she would probably have a babe of her very own by now. THAT thought doesn’t hurt as much as she thinks it should.

Because a child with Grayson would have been a monumental mistake.

The thought is gone as fast as it had come. That’s one part of her life that she is resolute in. Being Grayson’s wife, the mother to his brood, would NOT have been a step up from her current existence. She’s not sure how she knows that, perhaps from watching how Feyre and Nesta are treated by their mates. The unmatched adoration, the passion between the mates that she can sense from the couples as she plays the fifth wheel.

Why don’t I feel that way towards my own?

It’s not lost on her that she covets the bond her sisters have with their mates; what it must feel like knowing that your mate would give their very lives for your happiness. Her and her mate can barely be in the same room as each other, the bond an uncomfortable tether pulling at her rib.

She had once asked how it felt for her sisters, to see if the bond was true…

“It’s a blossoming warmth in my chest. The pull to Rhys is oftentimes so strong that I can't imagine my life before him.” Feyre had told her.

Her and her mate definitely could not relate.

But that warmth, she could have sworn she felt it before. When three fae males had walked into her home in the humanlands, and she had chanced a glance into the hazel eyes of the fae male with sapphire gems on his leathers. His gaze had caused her breath to catch, and every once in a while, when the war was over and she would be in his presence again, she would find herself looking into those eyes and she could almost feel the ghost of that warmth in her chest. Her breath would catch every time.

That hole was deep and chilled now.

The circles she’s been rubbing on her nephew’s back have quieted his little whimpers and he’s quiet on her chest as she moves to the window overlooking the gardens she’s cared for all these months. The gardens bloom in the vibrant colors of late spring. In her angst, she just wishes that the loveliness of the flowers she’s cultivated filled that hole in her chest that she so achingly wants to forget. An ache that, for the moment, her nephew in her arms has dulled significantly.

“Little one, you hold my heart in your hands.” She whispers as she kisses the thick black hair on his tiny head. At two months old, Nyx is the splitting image of his father, with Feyre’s temper to boot.

She sways back and forth, Nyx a solid presence, a weight holding her down to this earth. She almost misses the sound of the front door opening, but turns just in time to see the eyes of the male who still so captivated her thoughts.

No words are exchanged but he sends her a quick nod of acknowledgement as her own eyes quickly return to her nephew’s sleeping form. Her heart thundering in her empty chest. Before she can return her gaze to where the male stood, he is gone. Leaving her alone with that chasm in-between her ribs. The feeling of unworthiness crawling back into her thoughts.

He’s too good for me anyway.

She walks silently to the nursery, opting to place Nyx in his crib to attempt to get some breakfast prepared. She leaves the door slightly ajar, in case he awakens while she is cooking in the kitchen. Her fae hearing attuned to his little cries.

In the kitchen, she washes her hands and pulls out what is necessary for a quick meal. Bacon, eggs, some leftover scones from the pantry that she can reheat for her family to enjoy. She’s startled when Rhys and his companion walk briskly down the hall and through the foyer to the front door. Their voices quiet but unmistakable.

“All I need is 24 hours of rest and then I can head back down into the tunnels.” his deep tenor voice feels like a balm to her aching chest.

“Take the week, you look like you haven’t slept in months.” A pause and a sigh.

“I can always count on you for a confidence boost, Rhys.” She can feel the small smile gracing his lips as he speaks with his brother.

“I’m serious, Az. You’re no good to us if you’re dead on your feet. Take the week. Clean yourself up, eat a few hot meals, and sleep.” She wonders if this pause after Rhys speaks is meant to last as long as it does in her mind.

“Okay.” It’s breathless, and she can feel the exhaustion behind every syllable.

“Come to the kitchen. I’m sure Elain is whipping up something for breakfast. It’ll do you well to get something into your stomach.” She bites her lip at the invitation. He hasn’t had a meal in her presence in months, since before Nyx’s arrival, possibly not since Winter Solstice, but she’s unable to remember.

Elain straightens her spine, contemplating whether she should look in the pantry for some potatoes to add to her small spread. Her thoughts are interrupted by his forlorn response.

“I should really get back to the House of Wind, Nesta and Cassian are waiting for me.” An obvious lie and she feels like the remnants of her heart have turned liquid and puddled on the floor.

“Ask the House to make you something nice.” Rhys’ voice takes on a worried tone.

“I will.”

She holds back the tears threatening to spill as she hears his boots take him to the door and then outside. The heartbreak is still as tangible as it was months ago.

If Rhys notices the silver in her eyes when he strides into the kitchen, he doesn’t mention it. Just kisses her sweetly on the cheek and smiles,

“Good morning, Dear Sister.”

—————-

It’s a few nights later, while her family, sans Mor and Amren, sits at the dinner table eating the roast and potatoes she and the twins had been slow cooking over the course of the day, that Nesta looks at the empty chair across the table and says with worry gracing her normally icy gaze, “when are you going to start ordering Azriel to attend family dinners?”

Cassian places a hand on her knee as if to say NOT NOW.

She shrugs him off. Giving him that icy stare that’s become her calling card, “He’s a shell of himself. Even more closed off and broody than ever. He crawls around those tunnels and pokes his head out for a day or two and then heads right back in. The bags under his eyes are darker than yours” she points at Rhys. “And he doesn’t have a newborn to account for it.”

Elain sits up at that, heart sputtering as if she can feel him. As if she can feel the darkness pulling him under.

Maybe she can.

“I’m worried. Cassian is too; he’s just too stubborn to admit it. Az is working himself to death.” Elain puts a hand to her chest, as if that hand could hold her heart into place.

“Az is working very hard to get the answers we need about the Daglan and protect all of us, Nesta.” Feyre states gently, holding Nesta’s gaze as they narrow.

“But he shouldn’t HAVE to. We could rotate duties. We can go down there for a few days and let him rest.”

“This is what he wants, Nesta. He’s volunteered.” Rhys’ response is like an ash arrow to her gut.

“And why would he volunteer to do this assignment and be away from his family for so long if he was genuinely happy, Rhysand?” The room falls silent and the remnants of the meal she’s so thoughtfully made is ash on her tongue.

He’s not happy. That word, once vocalized, is hard for her to break from her thoughts. Azriel is unhappy.

It's her fault.

She grips the fork in her hand so tight the metal bends. It’s her fault because she read his intentions wrong on solstice. He is avoiding their family because she made things so awkward between them that he can’t bear to be in the same room as her. Nesta glances at her direction as if she can sense that feeling of worthlessness creeping into Elain’s body. Before Nesta can say anything, Cassian places his hand in hers.

“You’re right, Nes. We need to find out what’s going on with Az. I’ll ask Mor to visit him and get him to work through it. If anyone can get through to him, it’s Mor.”

And there was that feeling again. The feeling of a heart shattering, her lungs struggling to expand as her friends begin to plan for the intervention of the male who she so loved, even if he wanted nothing to do with her.

———————

Azriel was many things, within the last year or so, he’d resolved to adding foolish to his attributes. Foolish for thinking that he could be loved for the male he was, foolish for thinking he had any right to the happiness he saw in the faces of his brothers, and foolish to think that he could be hers.

It plagued him daily, the pull to a female that belonged to another. That he was not deemed worthy by the Cauldron of the female that held his heart, but that one of the sons of Autumn was.

She belongs to no one but herself. His shadows, his only companions, whisper.

It was a small mercy that she seemed as uninterested in her mate as her mate is with her. That she was once so willing to spend time with him despite being mated to someone else. That she was once happy to be his friend.

And now, they were nothing.

That thought buried deep inside of him, burrowed into his bones and tore through his limbs.

So he cut himself out of her world. He threw himself into his work. He trudged through the tunnels under the Night Court and pretended that he was keeping his family safe from the Daglan, when in reality, he was avoiding them.

It was another grueling pass through the tunnels. His eyes slowly adjusting from the change in light when he stepped out of the dark and into the quiet grasses surrounding the opening to the tunnels that have become his tomb. He had promised to wait a week to return to his work, but the ache in his chest had him packed and ready to continue his mission only 3 days after his last excursion. After a week of fighting through the tunnels, sliding Truthteller through the folds of the various beasts that inhabited the chasms below, his exhaustion was threatening to take his knees out from under him.

So he gathered what little strength he had left, and flew himself to the House of Wind.

And it was a mistake.

Nesta stood in the middle of the training pit, arms crossed. The rest of the priestesses were long gone by the early-afternoon. Precisely why he had chosen this time to fly back to the house, a feeble attempt to hide from everyone. He landed with a little less grace than intended, and as he took a glance at Nesta, he could have sworn that the silver flames that had been given back to The Cauldron to save her sister were still present in her eyes as she stared back at him disapprovingly.

“So you’re volunteering for these tunnel missions, huh?”

Azriel sighed. He learned long ago that arguing with Nesta was futile, that she would never let him go without a word.

“My schedule is open.” He shrugged absently.

“The hels it is, Az!” She bellowed, looking him up and down for a sign of…what exactly?

“Are you hurt?” She asked, this time with a gentleness not many would associate with the accomplished warrior, Lady Death.

“I’m fine.”

She continued to observe him, not completely believing he was all well and good. She noted his tired eyes, his rigid shoulders.

“What’s going on, Az? You’re like a ghost, never staying long enough to rest. Barely managing to function. This is so unlike you—-“ it pained him to interrupt, but the unworthiness creeped into his chest at her care for him.

“—this is me, Nes. It’s been me for 540 years. You’ve only glimpsed a small part of my life. I’ve always been like this.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” She says through her teeth, the frustration evident in her voice, in her posture. Azriel bows his head in a movement meant to placate the female before him. She sighs, and with a voice far calmer than she’s treated him with thus far speaks.

“She’s a ghost, too.”

He knows who she’s talking about immediately. And he dares not let her know that he’s affected by those words. He swallows the lump in his throat and moves to go around her. She stops him with her palm to his chest, right where his heart should be.

“I don’t know what’s happened between you two, but I know that the last time I’ve seen her smile, her real smile, was when you were the one to put it on her face.” The hole in his chest is infinitely bigger as Nesta moves her hand and places it gently on his arm.

“Be present, Az. We love you. She—loves you.”

Az is sure that Nesta means he is loved in a friendly way, but the idea of being loved by Elain Archeron makes his heart beat a little faster in his chest. He nods his head, words failing him.

“Everyone is coming here for dinner tonight.” Nesta states firmly. “Get cleaned up and meet us in the dining room at 5.” She shuffles past him to reach the door to the house and smiles mischievously at him behind her.

There’s no hiding from them now. Nesta will hunt him down until he appears. So he plans to arrive for dinner even as his brain tells him to run.

——————

Elain stares at her sister as she repeats the itinerary for the day, eyes wide as she questions Feyre over the plan to “meet Nesta and Cassian at the House for dinner.”

Elain is confused. Never has Nesta invited them to the House for dinner. Tea, on occasion. Training, frequently. Never dinner.

“What’s the occasion?” She asks, trying not to let her nerves show.

“She just misses us.” Feyre smiles, and although Elain is suspicious, she gives her little sister a genuine smile.

“Sounds delightful.”

And if her nerves intensify as her sister’s mate puts her down gently on the balcony of the House of Wind a few hours later, she doesn’t let it show, because she can absolutely scent the one person she is anxious to see the most.

Azriel is here.

And it takes all of her mother’s etiquette training to hold her head up high and enter the dining room to see his gorgeous, but somber face. A face she’s conflicted to commit to memory. He looks so tired, she muses. And despite the ache in her chest, the unworthiness that her mind flashes into her skull, seeing him is like breathing air after drowning, and she can’t look away.

Dinner commences and for the first time in months, the smile on her face is real. Everyone she loves is at the table, Mor and Feyre chatting animatedly with each other. Amren, Rhys, and Varian are lost in their own conversation about the Summer Court. Elain chances a look at the glorious Shadowsinger across from her. He’s impressive as usual, but she notes that his shadows are moving lithe around him, as if they are also exhausted from his travels. His eyes meet hers, and that warmth in her chest that only he can provide blossoms under his gaze. And she smiles, for real, and she thinks she sees the corner of his own mouth move up slightly.

It’s only when the meal is done and the House takes the dishes away that Rhys and Feyre take Nyx home to bed. Amren and Varian go back to Amren’s apartment, and Azriel excuses himself to finally get some rest. The rest of the family moves to the sitting room to continue to chat and Elain sits with them, appearing to listen to their conversation, but barely hearing what is being said. Her thoughts are helplessly on the male asleep somewhere in this house.

“Elain, would you like to stay here tonight?” Nesta asks with a beautiful smile on her face that captures Elain’s attention. She points a finger at her mate and says, “It’s easier for this old man to fly in the daytime. His eyesight is going poorly, and Mor is too drunk to take herself home, let alone you.” Nesta nods her head towards the beautiful blonde already falling asleep on the sofa across from her. Cassian scoffs.

“539 is NOT old.” He crows indignantly. The sisters erupt into laughter but Elain can’t help but think that her sister is only asking for her to stay because it’ll make things easier, and not because she wants her there. As the others begin to move towards their bedrooms, Nesta stops Elain with a gentle hand on her arm.

“I know I haven’t been the kind of sister you deserve, Elain. I want to make that up to you. I want to have breakfast with you tomorrow. I want to sit and talk to you about your life. I want to show you that I’m trying, that I’m here for you.” Elain’s chest expands with hope and a love she can only have for Nesta.

“I would like that very much.” She smiles. And Nesta offers to show her her bedroom for the night. The two walk arm in arm as they move through the house until they come upon the door of a room at the far end of the hallway. The room she’s given is warm and inviting, with a giant bed covered in lilac sheets. There’s a fireplace in the corner that is not in use due to the late spring warmth, but the double doors opening to the balcony overlooking Velaris is the crowning feature. She bids Nesta goodnight, with a promise to meet in the dining room for breakfast, and immediately heads for the balcony after Nesta shuts the bedroom door behind her.

What Elain doesn’t expect, is to end up sharing a balcony with the Shadowsinger himself.

And it appears he’s just as surprised as she is.

“H—hi” she breathes. Taking in his tall form in the shadows of the night. He’s seated on the edge of the balcony’s railing, one leg hanging over the edge while the knee of his other leg is bent for balance on the railing. His glorious wings are tight against his back, the bottoms on either side of the balcony. His hazel eyes, the ones that torment her in her dreams, are wide.

“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know you— or anyone, would be here—on the balcony, I mean.” She stammers as she looks down at her feet in embarrassment. He’s still quiet in front of her, and she curses the fact that the Cauldron didn’t boil her alive when it had the chance.

“I—I’ll just go…” she says and begins to move. She’s vaguely aware of him sitting up straighter than before.

“No, please— don’t.” His deep voice is a whisper that her fae ears only hear because she’s desperate to hear his voice again. She wouldn’t miss his first words to her in months for anything in this world. She swallows, unsure of how to proceed. Any courage she might have deep within her, sputtering.

“I don’t want you to leave.” He says louder, with conviction, and that hole in her chest feels the fullest it’s been in months.

“I don’t want to leave, either.” She says confidently. Her courage soars with the vibrancy of his words.

“I miss you.” He adds gently, finally meeting her gaze, and she’s at a loss. This male who has captivated her body and spirit for years now. Whom she thought was angry with her. Who walked away from her on solstice and didn’t look back.

“Then why?” She whispers back, a silver tear escaping and trailing down her pale cheek. The question is open ended, but he knows what she means.

“Because I am unworthy of you.” He admits. The self loathing in his voice matches her own every time she thinks about him.

“Of course you are. If anything, I am unworthy of you.”

“Never.” He replies instantly, but she waves him off. Moving to his side, eyes peering at his form under the stars, tears falling down both cheeks now.

“You are kind, Azriel. You are gentle, and you are courageous. You’ve fought on the battlefield, and you protect the people of this court, of this family. I bake bread, watch Nyx, and plant seeds in the garden. You deserve so much more than I can offer you.”

The air between them crackles with the intensity of his gaze. He moves, and before she can loose a breath, his scarred hands are wiping the tears from her skin.

“How can you not see how incredible you are, Elain?” He speaks softly, rubbing his fingers back and forth over her cheeks. “You put the needs of others in front of your own. You bake bread, watch Nyx, and build gardens to bring comfort and beauty to those around you. In a world of war and bloodshed, you are reminder that there are things out there so beautiful it’s worth fighting for.” She gasps at the depth of his stare. “You are everything I could ever hope for, but I can’t have you.” The words he’s spoken break something within her. Her hands land on his own on her cheeks, and she uses them to push his away, to push him away. Confusion gracing her features.

“And why can’t you have me? Why have you shut me out all of these months?”

He thinks carefully at how to respond. It’s in his best interest to lie, the rage in her beautiful brown eyes cuts him further than any blade and he pauses for a moment.

Rhys will mist him for revealing the truth. He’s disobeying his order right now, just being alone with the female that possesses his heart and soul. But he finds that lying to her is impossible. That he would rather be misted than lie to the female before him.

“Because I have been ordered to stay away from you.” He says with deep remorse.

The earth ceases to rotate for Elain. Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out. She stares in horror and Azriel wonders if he’s made a grave mistake.

“Rhys?” She whispers. He nods.

“But—why?” The devastation in her voice is palpable, and he wants nothing more than to fly to the river house, despite his exhaustion, and hit his brother in his pretty face.

“You have a mate, Elain.” She scoffs. Ready to deny such a thing. He weighs his words carefully before he continues. “Our—involvement could have severe consequences for the Night Court.”

“What consequences?” She asks, in an eerily calm voice that he doesn’t recognize. He takes a deep breath and prepares himself for her ire.

“The Autumn Court has an archaic tradition that allows for a mate to call for a blood duel against any male that threatens his mating bond. Lucien or Beron have the right to challenge me to that blood duel if you and I—“

Elain looks up into his eyes, horrified at the realization that this is what is keeping them apart.

“—but I would fight for you. Rhys knows it. And I would win, because there would be no chance in this lifetime that I would give up a life with you if I had the choice. But if I were to kill Lucien in a blood duel—“ he pauses. “Beron can enact revenge by calling for war against the Night Court.”

She’s quiet for a long time. Her chest, that was finally full only recently, is hollowed out and bleeding down to her toes. Rhys has deemed them unworthy of each other. Have deemed them unworthy of his protection. Unworthy of the Night Court’s protection. She steps forward, so that her breath mixes with his. He’s stunned for a moment, peering down into her face, determination and understanding amongst the many emotions crossing her features.

“I would rather have you in secret, than not at all.” She says so quietly that only the two of them can hear and places her hand on his chest where his heart beats against it. He’s dumbfounded for a moment.

She’s choosing him?

“Are you sure?” He whispers just as quietly, so that only her and the Mother can hear him.

“Yes.”

The word is barely out of her mouth when his lips meet hers in a kiss that stops the world around them. It’s soft and gentle, just like they are, but Elain swears that this feeling in her chest, at finally tasting the male of her dreams, is the same one her sisters have so lovingly described about their mates.

How can this not be it? They both muse to themselves.

His lips move slowly against her own, savoring her taste, committing it to memory. She has chosen him. She is willing to risk war and their family’s loyalty for him. He will never understand why, but he’s too far gone to talk her out of it.

They stay on the balcony until the early morning hours, touching, tasting, and chasing away the demon of unworthiness inside of each other. Because even if their family or the Night Court didn’t need them, they found out that night that they needed each other.

Fin (or is it?)

[bloomingdarkgarden]

To Taste Wisteria in Her Lullaby

A contribution to @elriel-month 2024

3,2K | Angst-Pining | Azriel POV | Shameless Garden Metaphors

This one shot is decicated to @tealeaves-and-rosepetals, @wingedblooms and @deathsweetblossoms my verdant darlings. The other day we were discussing our admiration of Elain as a plant lover, and well, I decided that Azriel needs to do the same thing. Low and behold, who does he find also wondering her gardens in the moonlight?

Sleep is a word he no longer remembers.

It was always an elusive hope. 

Now it evades him entirely.

A midsummer moon spilled upon the tranquil terrace of the river manor. How two seasons had come to pass in what felt like a handful of days, Azriel did not know. Solstice was long gone. Starfall came and went.

Both had faded like dreams in the ether.

And here he was, half the year gone by.

An evening breeze sifted through the garden’s verge. Warm, decadent, indigo-rich with the scent of night.

Elain was here, in these gardens.

Not physically. But in every blossom, every delicate unfurling- she was here. Her foresight and planning, her craft in the groundwork and choice of species. Her innate ability to nourish and grow beautiful things from a dark, empty void of soil. 

From a dark, empty void of a male heart, too.

Nights like tonight were… difficult for him. Listening to pleasant banter around the dinner table for hours, contributing to it himself in a false effort to bury his own misery. He thought the need for her might ebb, after so many months had passed, or at the very least, the mourning. That cold loss of what almost was.

But the need lingered instead.

It lingered, and lingered, and lingered, always.

The eden she had cultivated in the river manor was nothing shy of extraordinary. An illustrious, dream-ridden world of wisteria, lavendula, lily and countless flowers Azriel couldn’t wholly identify. Elain tended these courtyards in honor of Rhys and Feyre, with the grandeur of the high court in mind. The blossoms chosen were a range of whisper-blue, lilac and starlight, every possible shade in between. Yet while undeniably lovely, the royal gardens were a far cry from what she chose to grow at the townhouse.

Elain did not know, but Azriel occasionally ambled through that garden, too, in the dead of night. The townhouse felt closer to her heart than this place, somehow. Closer to who she was intrinsically. A little less refined beneath the surface. Etched with softer, wilder blooms far more tangled and lovely.

He strolled silently through the furthest of the terraces, shrouded beneath high walls of ivy. A clock somewhere far off chimed three in the morning and Azriel made an effort not to acknowledge the implication.

Sleep is a word he no longer remembers, after all.

In the quietest hours of the night, not even his shadows could seem to muster the energy to stay awake anymore. They lulled at his shoulders, slumbering for the most part, tracing silent footfalls. 

Which is why, as he rounded a corner lost in thought, the last thing he anticipated was colliding headlong into another person in the dead of night.

But there she was.

“Oh,” Elain murmured with soft surprise, halting her quiet steps.

She was only a half-breath away, just as taken aback as he was. The reflection of a night sky glittering in the sleepless chestnut of her eyes. So close that Azriel could count the stars within them.

They all looked as lost and lonely as those within his own.

She was clad in a soft champagne shift, a semi-transparent shawl wrapped around her slight shoulders. Her hair was-

unbound.

And the whisper of her soft curves could be seen through the moonlight.

Fuck, this was a cruel sort of dream.

His own descent into purgatory always began this way. With her, like this, in his arms. With his lips tracing a tender trail over every inch of her skin. With her being then stolen away from him by some cursed hand of fate he could never again reach.

Loose, natural waves of curl illuminated her silhouette in the dark hush of the garden. The need to run his hands through those curls would be his demise.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she explained by way of greeting.

Azriel swallowed, understanding all too well.

“I know the feeling,” he offered frankly in return.

Silence abounded.

Elain lowered her gaze momentarily, color blooming across her cheek. Azriel tried not to brand the memory of her this way- unbound, moonlit, and half-dressed- into his hindbrain for the next 700 years.

“I was just admiring your work,” he murmured, glancing to the nearby trellis.

A half-honest truth.

“I myself was doing the opposite,” she softly mused, leaning to study a stunning assortment of moonlily. “There’s much that could be improved, anyway. Though the rosaceae and mints have turned out nicely this year despite the late snow.”

Immediately, he knew Elain was exhausted. He could hear it in the drawn timbre of her voice.

He wanted to take her away.

Far away.

Somewhere he could be allowed to trace the skin of her entire body with the soft petals of her perfect primrose blooms. And whisper, all the while, that she didn’t know how to grow something that wasn’t breathtaking.

Azriel said nothing, ignoring the songs of impossible dreams. 

His shadows were awake now, observing the source of those songs. Curiously peering at her from their swirling perch.

He could hear wisteria in the lullaby of her. He could hear tiredness, and soil-ridden hands, and an ache so deep it put the sea to shame.

The song of her was as siren-dark as it always had been. Deep, haunting, and killing him slowly.

“I can’t say there is anything I would change,” he offered, “about this sanctuary.”

Elain was always most comfortable this way, speaking of plants, when other words could not be found. Or simply remained unspoken. It was a language they both knew well after countless late evenings at the townhouse. Plants were always a reason, or an excuse, they had to stay awake all night together.

That, it seemed, hadn’t changed.

“Are there any that you admire most tonight?” Elain asked quietly, stepping down a long wisteria corridor. He followed, unable to resist the urge. They slowly strolled, side by side, beneath a rippling sea of violet reverie.

Azriel motioned to a cluster of delicate flowers on the corridor’s trellis with notched, pale petals.  “This is one I admire often,” he murmured.

Night Phlox.

He knew as much from the library’s botanical volumes. Rich, detailed diagrams he was fond of combing through now again. He made a point to borrow those books every so often over the course of last winter. Just to know, just to understand the complexity of what exactly Elain was accomplishing that no one in the godsforsaken world seemed to notice.

Gardening was hellish work.

Elain finished her day bent, bleeding, and begrudgingly exhausted more often than not. No one seemed to recognize the toll it had on her. The least he could do was learn why she chose to undertake it all.

What he discovered, in the end, was that she liked the labor. She liked the marks the verdant battles left behind. She wanted to earn the beauty of a bloom, rather than being given it freely.

And Azriel began falling in love with her as a result.

“Phlox,” she offered, eyeing the flower and confirming his suspicion. “It has only just begun its course for summer, but soon you’ll see it everywhere I should think.”

“This, too, is rather taking,” Azriel strolled on, now admiring a pale blue primrose.

Elain nodded in agreement, tucking a curl behind her pointed ear. “Those are some of my favorites,” she admitted softly.

The pair crossed the end of the corridor, entering a secluded grove at the far end of the courtyard, lined with high walls of greenery. Azriel paused before a lush partition of fragrant, ivory flowers rustling in the wind.

“In regards to your question,” he murmured, “this is what captures me most,”

Elain’s gaze settled on the blooms and she swallowed, the moment hesitant.

“Jasmine,” she noted quietly. “Night blooming jasmine. Some call it poisonberry.”

“Lady of the night,” he added gently, looking at her now.

There was nothing in the world that carried a scent so lovely as that which lingered on her skin. This flower was making an honorable effort.

So there was no other choice, really.

He wondered if she knew, truly knew. And had a feeling she did.

Elain’s fingers brushed the soft petals. “What do you admire about it?” she asked carefully.

His throat bobbed.

“It is, of course, far more beautiful than the rest,” he said, brushing scarred knuckles over the jasmine stems. “But moreover it is prone to waking the moment the world stops paying attention. When all the world sleeps, this creature dreams,” he noted. “I find that rather…. alluring.”

“Alluring,” Elain repeated, a soft murmur.

He thought she might shy away, but she did not. He certainly would not. Not with her so near, and so decadent, and so sinfully lovely in the moonlight.

If that made him a self-serving bastard, so be it.

“You know more about plants than you let on, I think,” Elain muttered wryly.

Azriel’s mouth curled upwards. “You know more about most things than you let on.”

She shrugged, a grin now blossoming on her cheek, which might be the end of him. Elain was staring up at him now, openly. More pointedly, at the place just between his ear and his neck.

“You have them too,” she remarked.

Azriel swallowed, tracking her gaze. He realized she was speaking of the curls nipping against his skin, courtesy of the dew-kissed night.

“A gift from my mother,” he murmured back. “When it’s damp, anyway.”

His own eyes lingered on the ends of her long curls, pooled over her breasts, kissing against the small of her waist. Azriel craved every piece of her they could touch and he could not.

“I might also add that the scent of this particular flower is the only which bids me sleep at night,” he murmured, glancing to her beneath hooded eyes.

“Is that so?” she shifted marginally closer.

He nodded in return.

“Perhaps you might take some to bed,” she offered, eyes doe-wide. “I could cut a few stems for you.”

Azriel hesitated, but did not tear his gaze away. “Our High Lord may not approve.”

“Of taking a flower that soothes you to sleep?”

He swallowed.

“Of taking that which does not belong to me.”

Elain’s brow furrowed. She turned away, the rawness of those words having fracturing the fragile thing between them. He was desperate to have it back the moment it was gone.

She again regarded the wall of night-blooming jasmine.

“It’s true, jasmine has flowering patterns that are rather unusual. And if it is planted just days too early or too late in the season, it might wither before ever blooming. The plant is rather… delicate that way.”

“I’m not sure anything could quell the beauty of such a creature.”

Elain exhaled softly, bitterly. “I wish I had your confidence,” she uttered. “A great many enemies oppose the bloom. Disease, insects, unexpected shifts in weather- ” a pause. “I would have thought north of the wall they would be better adapted to the climate, but here, they face the same struggles they did in the human lands.”

Azriel measured the sadness in her eyes and hated himself for being the cause.

“Perhaps there are other foes aside from the usual elements contributing to their suffering,” he countered.

She looked at him keenly. “Such as?”

He swallowed, wondering how direct or indirect to be. And because he was exhausted and half in love with her, his brooding nature won out over reason.

“Invasive species taking root where they do not belong,” he muttered darkly. A terse pause. “Foxglove comes to mind.”

Elain seemed to bite back a laugh despite her own exhaustion.

“Yes invasives can indeed be problematic,” she tried and failed not to grin, “though only if the soil is willing to host them.”

Azriel swallowed, unwilling to muster a response that didn’t sound murderous.

Elain seemed to notice. And carried on gracefully, as she always did.

“I’ve found the soil of the night court rather unforgiving, anyway. When a plant roots here,” she met his eyes, “it is steadfast in its choice, no matter how ill-fated.”

His heart stopped beating for a moment.

Something aching reached for him from within her gaze, and it nearly split him in two. “What truly makes the bloom suffer most of all in the end is a lack of proper nourishment, Azriel,” she said quietly.

They weren’t speaking about jasmine anymore. They weren’t even speaking of jasmine to begin with.

He knew it. She knew it. And both seemed unable to look away.

“Why do you not find sleep?” he asked lowly.

Elain swallowed, lips parting with an answer that seemed stuck in her throat. She looked at him with soft eyes then.

“Why do you not?”

Silence followed. Heavy with sorrow and longing and all the rest.

“Elain,” his gaze shuttered, his voice barely audible.

“Was it-” she took a shaking breath, “-was it truly so wrong? So shameful to you?”

The words tore a true, gaping hole into his already-ruined heart. He stepped towards her instinctively, unable to keep from doing so.

“Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Hope bloomed eternal in her eyes and he needed to touch her again. The need was so arresting he couldn’t seem to move, on the brink of falling into an abyss.

Elain registered that need. And his inability to see it through.

So she took it upon herself to feed the need instead.

The bliss and agony of her touch was his undoing.

A gentle reach of her pale hands up to the base of his neck, resting her arms there as she twined his silk-black curls between her fingers. His hands snaked to her waist and relief coursed through him like nothing else at the warmth of her beneath his hands.

This is where she belonged.

Azriel lowered his head against hers, hazel eyes fluttering closed as that honey-rich, jasmine scent soothed every wrecked piece of him left jagged in her absence.

The silence between them fraught with a thousand lonely starlit nights.

“There it is,” Elain whispered.

Azriel murmured an inarticulate noise in question.

“The quiet,” she said, stroking the skin of his cheek. “How I’ve missed it, with you.”

She was incurably exquisite.

“I can’t,” he began, wondering if he was a fool for saying it aloud. “I can’t seem to share it with anyone else.”

“Nor can I,” she returned, without a moment’s pause.

A handful of words beneath the moonlight and he was already doing everything he swore to the forgotten gods he wouldn’t do again. Inhibition was a ghost on the wind.

Those gods had forsaken him long ago anyway.

He stayed like that for quite some time, with her beneath his hands. Listening to that blissful quiet. She stayed with him, hidden beneath the garden walls. Azriel had no idea how long they spent that way, but it would never be long enough. He opened his eyes again eventually.

And then, in those most endearing moment he had ever witnessed in five centuries of lonely brooding-

Elain yawned.

She haphazardly attempted to rub the sleep gathering in her eyes away before looking up to him softly.

He was ruined.

“I should bid you goodnight,” he murmured politely. His hands were still on her waist and they did not move.

“Should you?” she asked, taking her hand within his own.

This was by far the cruelest thing he had ever deigned to dream.

She pulled away, and every muscle in his body wailed in protest, though her hand was still wrapped in his own. Elain again studied the wall of jasmine with tired eyes.

“You say the scent helps you sleep,” she murmured. “You will not take it with you, so why not stay where it is strongest?”

Azriel knew he ought to contest, make some flimsy excuse, walk away.

“Elain-” he rasped, but the words went nowhere.

“Stay,” she whispered. “Just stay.”

Elain lowered herself to the garden floor, leaning against that wall of jasmine.

Two hours until dawn, and no fight left in him tonight.

Azriel succumbed to the pull of her small hand downwards. He sank to the ground, pressing his back against the wall of jasmine aside her.

Elain wasted no time. In a series of impossibly beautiful events, she curled into his lap- nestling her head against him and murmuring a sigh of relief as if she, too, needed this.

Her shawl was lumped haphazardly around her, so he carefully untangled it, wrapping it neatly before tucking her in close.

She stared up at him, and the stars in her eyes were no longer lost or lonely.

They were bright.

They were beautiful.

They were blooming.

The melody of her was immeasurably lovely, lulling his shadows back to slumber. A few of them began dancing over her skin, murmuring soft lullabies, enveloping them both from sight.

Elain loosened a soft, pleased noise at their sleepful sound.

“Do they always do this for you?” she asked carefully. “Sing you to sleep?”

“Often, yes.”

A quiet pause.

“Alluring,” she quipped.

His mouth quirked upwards and he ran a tender hand down the length of her back. As if this wasn’t a dream. As if she was his, and his alone, tonight.

Elain responded by gently reaching upwards to carefully tuck a single bloom of jasmine into the muss of his curls.

“I’d like to imagine feeling your shadows every night, like this,” she uttered, voice husky with sleep.

Azriel swallowed a low, strangled noise in his throat.

He took a long moment. Maybe two. She nestled closer to him, as if knowing why, finding his hand at her spine and encouraging it to stroke her all the way down once again.

“Do you know how often I’ve dreamt of you, this way?” Azriel’s words were quiet. His other hand now making its way to the base of her neck. He allowed his scent to wrap around her, truly, knowing he’d glamor it away by morning.

He wanted more, he wanted everything, but somehow, this was enough.

“I feel safe in my dreams with you,” is all she said in return. Sleep imminent in her voice. “I feel safer now than I ever have, I think.”

Fuck, that did something to him. Curled something low within him to life. Something male and possessive and needy and long since abandoned.

“You are safer with me than anyone else in this world.”

The words were a vow, carried on a dark wind. A promise that he would level the universe with cold fury to keep her from harm if need be.

His hand slipped to the root of her hair and her lips parted with a sigh as he tenderly rubbed the base of her neck.

“I know it’s impossible. I know the stars are set against it. But maybe we could just pretend,” she murmured softly.

“Pretend?” he echoed, his heart beating slowly now.

Elain looked up to him, eyes dazed with lost dreams.

“That we belong to one another.”

She was asleep in five minutes. Maybe less.

Azriel finally ran scarred fingers through her curls and savored every last moment as if they might be his last. There was nothing but the jasmine-sweet melody of her crooning in his ear. Pale and bright and spilling like moonlight over the darkest nights of his life.

In the last hour before dawn he lowered himself beside her, wrapping her fully into the warmth of his chest. He cradled Elain close, and she cradled him right back, hidden beneath a veil of greenery.

“Azriel,” Elain murmured, as the birds began their luting songs in the nearby trees. He hummed a quiet, deep noise in answer.

“I’m not pretending,” she whispered.

He pulled her close, closer than he knew was possible. And as the soft breath of dawn peeked over a far horizon, he did not let go.

“Neither am I,” Azriel whispered back.

[nikethestatue]

Elriel's Bond

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

I twisted—only to have the king’s guards grab me from behind. Rhys was instantly there, but Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in.

So I just saw this and as I read it, I jumped up and needed to run here to type this our.

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

The 'prettier one' is Elain. But who shouts, when she is being taken away and possibly murdered? Azriel.

And who's 'forgotten'? Mor.

The scene is centered around those 3 people, with Feyre observing it.

(Afterwards, she specifically observes Cassian and his reaction to Nesta being thrown in, pairing off those two in her mind).

However, in this scene, we have Elain, we have Azriel and we have Mor--Mor, who is viewed as the biggest obstacle to Elriel, because of Azriel's supposed feelings for her.

Let's recall another scene, where another person was shot with Faeabane: as Feyre tends to the severely wounded Rhysand (whom she found because she was driven insane by her bond, urging her to go after him and putting her into a frenzy), she starts speaking about her sisters. And what does she say? "And I think Elain would like it too. Only she would cling to Azriel for some peace and quiet."

And then she thinks in her head:  I smiled at the though- at how handsome they would be together. If the warrior ever stopped loving Mor." 

Let's jump back to the Hybern scene again:

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

Azriel, who is shot with Faebane, screams when Elain is put into the Cauldron. Mor already forgotten--is this the most glaring way of SJM hinting at the monumental change that's occurred with Azriel and his feelings towards Mor?

Let's read the whole sentence, without Feyre's part in there:

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten. But Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in.

The King says put Elain into the Cauldron and what's interesting is that the poison of Faebane is called 'the king's poison'.

What if at that point, Azriel shouted because he felt the severing of his bond to Elain? Or out of FEAR that the bond would be nullified or damaged or broken?

'The king's poison' was coursing through Azriel, but the king also threw Elain into the Cauldron--and faebane is a substance that neutralizes and suppresses Fae powers.

Could Azriel's cry be about the muting of his bond with Elain?

Just like with his other two brothers, who all fell in love with human women and were mated to human women, Azriel could've felt the pull of the bond with Elain even when she was human. However, when she was being Made, her was also shot full of Faebane (unlike Cassian for example, who was simply gravely wounded while Nesta was being made).

Could that have contributed to Azriel 'losing' the sensation of the bond to Elain and the Cauldron opportunistically crafting a weaker bond for Elain with Lucien? A bond that was thrown at Lucien (his words) the moment Elain emerged from the Cauldron.

The bond snapped for Lucien, but it did not snap for Elain. Elain's continued indifference towards Lucien could potentially be explained by the fact that she is already bound to Azriel (even if she doesn't know it) and therefore, she simply cannot feel anything for Lucien. Her heart, her soul, and her mind are already occupied by someone else. Lucien doesn't belong.

So, in conclusion, in two sentences, SJM showed us a few glaringly important things: (Interestingly) Elain's beauty outshines them all (which I think will come in handy later). Mor is forgotten. The King's poison is inside Azriel, and on the king's orders Elain is tossed into the Cauldron. Azriel cries out as he watches it, as the poison works itself in, (potentially damaging their bond).

The plot thickens.

[jasmineandcedar]

You already have me

Azriel's confession

An Elriel one shot (Elain’s POV)

In which Azriel resorts to poetry and confesses his devotion to Elain.

Warning: sexual content (not explicit)

-----

The moon hung high in the night sky, casting a cool, pearly glow over the river house. Moonlight spilled through the windowpanes like liquid silk, painting every contour in shades of blue and silver. Even the shadows seemed to take on hues of deepest indigo, pooling in every corner like dark ink.

Elain stepped into her room, pausing at the threshold and closing her eyes. A gentle breeze stirred the curtains, carrying with it the deep scent of night-chilled mist and cedar. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know he was there. Tilting her head slightly, a faint smile bloomed across her face. Tonight, that familiar scent was laced with something darker, wilder.

When Elain finally opened her eyes, they found his at once.

Azriel stood by the window, half veiled in shadows, the moonlight catching on his dark hair like the silvery gleam of a raven’s wing.

They watched each other in silence. For silence was their language—the language of the unspoken longing that clung to the air around them, between them, in every space they shared.

Elain noticed then, the freshly picked flowers resting on her pillow—delicate and pale blossoms of the same shade of white as her nightgown—like silver moonlight woven into bloom. She crossed the room on light steps, her bare feet gliding over the cold, polished floor. The thin, lacy fabric of her nightgown danced over her skin with every step.

Without breaking Azriel’s gaze, she trailed her fingertips over the bedding, feeling the crisp linen beneath her touch. Finally, she lowered her eyes to carefully pick up the pale flowers. Bringing them to her nose, she let the sweet scent of jasmine envelop her. Her heart clenched as she felt the ache of his longing in the fragile petals.

He had thought of her.

“They’re lovely,” she said quietly.

It was a bittersweet, intimate gesture—a piece of his inner world, offered in secret defiance of the outer world’s attempts to keep them apart. The anguish of it all twisted something deep inside her, reigniting that dull, persistent ache that threatened to consume her if she dwelled on it.

Elain beheld the flowers for a long time, gently twirling the fragile stems between her fingers and savouring their subtle scent as the night stretched around them.

She took a deep breath, then whispered into the stillness of the night.

“It should have been you.”

Azriel didn’t speak, but Elain knew the intensity in his gaze was edged with unspoken desire. It was raw, unguarded, just like she knew he was beneath those shadows that hid him.

She finally met his gaze and held it, well aware he needed her to. Azriel made no effort to hide the pain in his eyes—the pain that mirrored her own. There had never been any pretense between them, no veil to obscure the cruelty of their fate.

The room fell still again—into a heavy, intimate tranquility that held all that unspoken desire between them. The only sound was the peaceful hum of the breeze stirring the curtains, like a sigh of longing from the night itself.

When Elain spoke again, her words were as fragile as the flower stems she still held between her fingertips.

“What would you do?” she asked, barely more than a whisper. The question hung in the air like morning’s mist. “If it had been you?”

Words she had carried in her heart for too long—the heart that pounded against her ribcage, like the desperate wingbeats of a caged bird.

Azriel’s gaze thawed, the tension in his features melting into warmth.

“I would cherish you,” he said at last, his tone hoarse, as if the words scraped against the rawness of his heart.

He pushed off the windowsill in one seamless motion—like a shadow detaching from a wall. He approached her with a measured grace, the space between them narrowing with each step until Elain could feel the heat radiating from his body.

“But my intentions go far beyond that,” he said in a voice soft as night.

Azriel stopped in front of her, so close she could feel the warmth of his breath caress her skin. His gaze cradled hers, as it always had, uncovering all the truths she hid from the world around them.

“Should you allow it, I would revere every inch of you,” Azriel murmured in a quiet, intimate whisper. “I would fall to my knees, and worship every curve, every freckle kissed by the sun—until you see the beauty I see every time I look at you.”

That gaze that cradled hers didn’t waver. Neither did hers.

With aching reverence, Azriel let his fingers glide down her arm, skimming over the thin fabric of her nightgown. Elain felt the warmth of his touch seep through the light fabric, sinking into her skin. Her pulse fluttered wildly, every beat an echo of where his touch had been.

“I would whisper praise against your skin,” he breathed, his devotion etched in every syllable. “Until you ache for what I long to give you.”

Azriel lifted a hand and slowly swept her hair behind her shoulder. His eyes flickered down, tracing the elegant line of her neck, bared to the cool night air—and to the heat of his gaze. When that gaze met hers again, it was a molten swirl of embers and emeralds.

“Only then would I unveil you fully to me,” he murmured, that hazel swirl locked on her. “Until there was nothing between us.”

His eyes drifted back to her exposed skin, and Elain felt a flush of warmth spread in the wake of his gaze. Azriel’s fingers traced the finespun neckline of her nightgown where the fabric met her skin. He eased the thin lace aside, baring the small dip of her collarbone. Elain felt as vulnerable as the petals still in her grasp, yet beneath his touch, she had always found a sanctuary. Her faint gasp filled the air between them as Azriel lowered his head, his lips brushing her skin as softly as the beat of a butterfly's wing. Elain's eyes drifted shut, and the sensation washed over her like the first touch of sunlight after the darkest of nights.

“I would reveal your beauty inch by inch,” Azriel murmured, carefully easing the nightgown off her shoulder. “And show you the depth of my devotion.”

Elain shivered when the cool night air kissed her bare skin, but then his lips followed, warm and soft, as he pressed them to the gentle curve of her shoulder.

“I would adorn your skin with the kisses you deserve,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her collarbone, lingering as if to etch the memory of it into his very being, “and commit your perfection to memory.”

Elain’s fingers found the fabric of Azriel’s shirt, soft against the unyielding strength beneath. She clutched it tightly, like the roots of a plant cling to the earth.

He pressed his lips to the side of her neck. Elain felt her pulse flutter beneath his lips, beating like a delicate bird’s wings. He traced a slow, reverent path of kisses up the graceful curve of her neck. When his lips brushed the sensitive spot just below her ear, a shiver rippled through her.

Elain took a small step towards him, her body instinctively seeking him, and Azriel moved with her, as shadows move with the sun.

“And when I finally take you,” he whispered against her skin, his longing carried on the heat of his breath, “I will listen for every catch in your breath, drink in every gasp, savour every moan.”

Elain's head fell back as she surrendered to his touch—as if the weight of his words alone could unravel her. The room seemed to hold its breath with her when he trailed kisses along her jaw.

“I will learn the song of your body,” Azriel murmured, voice low and thick with desire. “Uncover the secrets of your skin.”

He pressed another kiss to her neck, so tenderly it stole the air from her lungs. Then his lips lingered again at that spot just below her ear, unmoving, as if he were listening for those secret confessions her body whispered to him alone.

“Until I know you more intimately than I know myself.”

Azriel swept one hand into her hair, his fingers weaving through the silken waves of golden brown. He tilted her head to the side, revealing the delicate slope of her neck, in a gesture that was both a plea and a command. Elain’s chest rose in a shivering gasp, but she arched her neck further in silent answer. Azriel dipped his head lower, brushing his lips to the hollow of her throat, before trailing featherlight kisses up her sensitive skin, pausing just beneath her jaw where her pulse thrummed with secret need.

Elain felt him inhale with her.

“Until I hold your pleasure in my hand,” Azriel said on the exhale. “And you’re trembling beneath me, yearning for release.”

He drew closer still, so close that his lips brushed her ear.

“And when that moment comes,” he promised, and Elain tightened her grip on his shirt, “I will I let you come undone in my arms.”

He pulled back slightly, just enough to cradle her gaze in his again. The moonlight caught the gold flecks in his hazel eyes, making them glow like embers in the dark, smoldering with a heat that could devour them both if they surrendered to it.

Azriel slanted his lips over hers in the ghost of a kiss. Elain felt the world around her shrink into this singular, sacred point of contact—where his breath became hers, her every inhale a plea, every exhale a yielding surrender.

“And when you come undone,” he said, his lips so close to hers that Elain felt the tremble of every syllable, “it will be with my name on your lips.”

“Azriel,” Elain breathed, the sound slipping out of her in a faint, desperate plea that carried all the unspoken longings of her fluttering heart.

“Just like that,” he whispered against her lips, his voice raw and broken with a need that echoed her own.

They lingered there, their breaths entwined in the shared rhythm of that silent song only they seemed able to hear—as if they had always moved to the same quiet cadence of life.

Azriel’s hand remained in her hair, his fingers threading gently through her silken curls. His free hand moved to cup her cheek, before coming to rest at the base of her neck. His thumb drew slow, soothing strokes along her skin, in the way his touch always spoke of a quiet devotion language could never capture. Elain’s fingers were still curled into the fabric of his shirt, clinging to the steady warmth of his body that grounded her beating heart.

“It should have been you,” Elain repeated desperately, voice quivering on an inhale as if the air itself was too heavy. “It would have been you.”

That gaze that cradled hers softened again, smoldering heat giving way to that tenderness that made her chest tighten. He cupped her face between his hands, embracing her as if she were the most precious thing he had ever held.

“You already have me,” he said at last, before leaning down to press a kiss to her lips—like a seal to his silent vow.

[duskandcobalt]

just pulled an SJM and scrapped a draft for chapter 2 of one of my fics after already writing 6.5k words bc I decided it was shit last minute 🤪 everyone say a prayer for my sanity hehe

[bright-side20]

Ruhn is explaining mate behavior to Bryce:

Ruhn glared at her as Hunt continued to glow and menace. It means that he’s going ballistic in the way that only mates can when the other is threatened. It’s what happened then, and what’s happening now. You’re true mates—the way Fae are mates, in your bodies and souls.

*Ruhn's first mate behavior towards Lidia :

“I’ll get her myself,” Ruhn shot back. “I just need to get in with you two first.”

“Absolutely not,” Bryce countered. “I get that you want to play rescuing hero, but what you’re talking about is suicide.”

“Would you hesitate to go in after Athalar?” He pointed to the angel. “Or you to go after Bryce?”

*Azriel when Elain is in danger :

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.”

Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.”

Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.” Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.

“Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel soft menace. Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. He’d gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybern’s camp to save Elain—he knew the risk. “We won’t make the same mistake twice.”

I mean, you'd know why a certain side fights to make the Elriel rescue scene seem unimportant 🤭

[moonkissed-reverence]

Elain & Azriel visit the Summer Court

An Elriel one-shot

A dreamy tryst at the sea…

Writers note: I’m dipping my toes in the waters of fanfic inspired by Elriel. Just for fun. This is my first ever, I hope you enjoy. 🩷

The sky was filled with puffs of salt kissed clouds billowing above the turquoise sea.

Elain brought a basket of fresh fruits, a variety of cheeses, crackers & a bottle of rosé that she procured from the local market that morning. They enjoyed the refreshments while lounging lazily on a blanket on the sand. Azriel feeding Elain bites of cheese, Elain feeding Azriel figs while they both sipped the chilled wine.

“This is the most perfect day”, Elain sighed joyously, tossing her head back, feeling the ocean breeze through the waves of her golden brown locks.

Azriel bathed in the sight of her glistening in the sunlight, she was radiant. His attention pulled her gaze to him. She tilted her head to the side in wonder, but his look told her he was feeling exactly as she. Lovestruck. His stunning beauty, his golden skin glowing under the sun, his dark curls damp with salt water, hazel eyes bright and piercing.

“Every day with you is a perfect day”, he finally said, pulling her in close, kissing her temple. She turned into him finding his lips, kissing him gently while slowly falling back on the blanket. Azriel ran his thumb over the plush of her lips, running his scarred hands down the delicate curves of her body before rolling her onto him. She lay atop him, exploring his features, tracing his cheekbones and marking the planes of his face, admiring his god-like beauty.

It felt so good to share their affection out in the open without the worry of being caught and they were determined to enjoy this day in each other’s arms.

The sun eventually began to set, the sky turning shades of purple and pink, its reflection glowing upon the sea. Elain ran into the ocean, twirling and splashing about. “Come Azriel, come swim with me!”, she cried out joyously, laughing and spinning through the water. As Azriel gracefully strolled towards her, she ran to him grabbing his hands and pulling him behind her into the sparkling waters. He twirled her around and they played and laughed, his wings splaying and dripping with seawater.

In a swift maneuver, Azriel swooped her into his arms and took flight. Elain gasped in shock but Azriel gave her a reassuring squeeze, “I’ve got you”, he whispered in her ear as they glided over the glittering sea.

As they few through the clouds, feeling safe in his arms, she relaxed and enjoyed the salty breeze against her skin and the breathtaking view.

After a short flight over the ocean, Azriel gently landed them to shore, keeping her in his arms long after they grounded. She leaned back against his solid form and after a few moments she turned in his arms to meet his gaze. “Thank you”, she said, caressing his cheek, “for the most magical day, Azriel. She paused in thought, then sighed as she said, “Must we go home?”

He said nothing, just pulled her into him. They stood that way, holding each other for a long while, breathing each other in as the stars began winking out into the dusk sky.

[lovemyromance]

For fucks sake - Elain's horrid black dress was meant to keep the focus on Nesta. Specifically - keep Eris's focus on Nesta. Everyone knows Elain is the prettiest Archeron so they had to find a way to make her look less interesting than Nesta.

Not to mention - if there's any foreshadowing - it's about how Elain doesn't fit into the cruelty of HEWN CITY - not the Night Court as a whole. When she's back in Velaris, she's back to glowing with health.

How are people making such a fuss over how her black dress means she doesn't belong in the night court if in the very next chapter, she's in a gown that makes her look great again - and lo and behold - she's still in the fucking Night Court?

Is Velaris suddenly not a part of the night court now?

This is what is called wishful thinking. This scene had nothing to do with Lucien. It has nothing to do with what color dress she wears or doesn't wear.

I've seen this kinda long shot reach of an argument so many times. How many times do I have to say it? Foreshadowing is A to B. Not A to B to C to D to E to F.

Not to mention - this is all because Elain looked bad in one black dress? Mor never wears black. Amren doesn't either, and yet they're 2nd and 3rd in command of the NC.

Also in case anyone is just as confused as I was when I saw this utter joke of a theory - apparently Elain glowing in an amethyst gown means Lucien endgame because Helion once showed up with an entourage of Day Court people and they wore clothing of crimson, Cobalt, and Amythest,

Guess that means Mor/Lucien end game too now? Or Azriel/Lucien? Because you know - Mor is always in a crimson dress and is described as a bombshell and Azriel is beautiful af in his cobalt siphons.

If these people are going to use that logic - then it should be applied to everyone that fits the criteria, no?

I'm so tired of seeing this stupid argument like ??

Just imagine this hypothetical: the next ACOTAR book comes out. people are confused because surprise it's not Elriel like everyone expected, but it's Elucien?

And when the public is like Sarah, why? I don't understand how you just abruptly switched from Elriel to this?

Do you think it's plausible that the answer from Sarah's mouth will be: silly readers! You could've seen that Elain looked bad in black and looked good in purple and purple is one of the 4+ colors mentioned once 3 books ago that the day court people wore and Helion is the HL of the day court, and Lucien is his son! Wasn't that SO OBVIOUS??

[theseeingfawn]

My Elriel Subscription list on AO3

Below are the MANY Eriel fics I am currently subscribed to and DYING for more of…

🌹A Court of Blooming Sight by katkos96

Summary: Post ACOSF and HOFAS Eriel fan fic! This fan fic will try and stay as canon as possible, with theories based off of many lovely creators as well as my own. There may be some head canons involved, as we have not had a book come out yet, but any theories and the minds behind them will be tagged. This is duel-pov between Elain and Azriel!

🌹A Court of Sunlight and Shadows by Ahimadala

Summary: Just when Elain thought she had found balance since her life was turned upside down, someone begins to doubt the true nature of her powers. Koschei threatens the fragile peace that has settled over Prythian with his search for the cauldron. However, its power is now inextricably linked to the one who has been gifted by it.

🌹A Match Baked In Heaven by NikeTheStatue

Summary: Elain Archeron, owner of the prestigious Marigold Agency, which specializes in exclusive matchmaking has a new and very challenging client. Azriel Night, football superstar, 'stubborn as a mule' (according to his brother Cassian), handsome womanizer is under pressure to find himself a wife. At stake--a 230 million inheritance.

🌹A Shot in the Darkest Dark by yourstarsmyscars

Summary: It was always those who understood fate the least who spoke most freely of it, as though the future were a path carved of marble, all roads leading in one direction, and one direction alone.

It was always meant to be this way, they said, never understanding that fate was chaos and not order, madness with no clarity. And fate could be changed, if you knew which strands to pluck.

🌹Chiaroscuro (Series) by Meraki_Moonglade/a>

Summary: A collection of beautifully told stories on the budding relationship between Elain and Azriel.

🌹Cruel Summer by slythrhys

Summary: With a broken heart and a bruised ego, Elain tries to survive a week living alongside Azriel in her family's summer home, where they all gather to celebrate Nesta and Cassian's wedding.

🌹Everywhere, Everything by duskandcobalt

Summary: Two close friends, one crossed line… After a decade of friendship, Elain and Azriel are left to navigate the fallout following an encounter that's far from platonic. or A friends to lovers fic about denial and longing.

🌹Forgotten Bonds by noedovenest

Summary: After the events of ACOSF, Elain is torn between exploring her bond with her mate and her growing affection for Azriel.

🌹Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow by Violetasteracademic

Summary: A week after Solstice, Elain is lost and heartbroken by Azriel's rejection. A surprise encounter with Lucien in the townhouse leads to an offer Elain wasn't expecting, and a readiness to face the future.

🌹High Infidelity by tswaney17

Summary: Elain and Azriel are fuck buddies, nothing more. But when a word slips out in the heat of the moment, their entire relationship comes to a screeching halt.

🌹Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by yourstarsmyscars

Summary: Fresh off a brutal break-up, Elain is in need of a distraction. A casual fling. One no strings bad idea, with a guy she definitely won't get attached to, so she can finally move on. Azriel has lost count of the number of women who've come to regret meeting him. But while he may be the worst idea Elain has had in a while, he's determined to prove that she won't regret him.

🌹Satin and Steel by airelemental

Summary: Princess/Knight alternate universe. Elain Archeron is on her way to visit her sister, the newly crowned queen of Prythian. With no romantic prospects and a new inheritance of all of her parents' land and most of their wealth, Elain wants nothing more than to lead a quiet life where she's finally in charge of her own destiny.

Upon her arrival, King Rhysand appoints his highest ranking knight, Sir Azriel, as her royal guard and chaperone. She thinks he's a brute and is appalled at the idea of someone following her around everywhere she wishes to go during her stay. He finds her spoiled and can think of a thousand different ways to better spend his time.

🌹Shining Through That Moonless Night by tealeaves_and_rosepetals

Summary: Good intentions went wrong on the night of Solstice, and ever since, Elain and Azriel have struggled through days that felt darker and colder without the joy of the secret love that grew between them. Yet for both of them, a tiny glimmer of hope remains, bright and unyielding.