#Elf Dad Just Trying His Best

[damallarky]

So nothing gets me out of a ten year writer's slump like Dragon Age, apparently. I was going to write a quick character study for my Rook, but then it took a life of its own and turned into a 5000+ word monstrosity.

You can also read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57135346

Anyway, my first fic in ten years. Enjoy!

-

At the Black Swan tavern in Minrathous, an elven man with bright red hair sat on a massive barrel, tuning a lute. At first glance, it would appear that he was entirely engrossed in the instrument. If they paid close attention, however, they would notice his green eyes dart imperceptibly from guest to guest as if taking stock of each person who entered the tavern. 

To be fair, this was exactly what Renan was doing. The Shadow Dragons had been given a tip that the Venatori were having a meeting here tonight. He had been given instructions to keep an eye on them, make a note of how many attended, and if there was anyone there he recognized. 

Ren was good at that, using his talent at the lute, voice, and good looks to get him information, and he used his particular skill set often. Sometimes, he played in chamber halls and ballrooms of the Minrathous elite, and they were goldmines, to be sure. But if he was honest, he preferred the establishments of the working class. One would be surprised at how much information could be gained at the taverns and brothels of the world. 

Even better, Ren was familiar with this particular tavern, having played here countless times before. 

‘See anything good yet, Hope?’ He thought through the bond to his spirit companion, currently flitting between the rafters somewhere. He thought he had caught a glimpse of black feathers once or twice, but he couldn’t be sure. 

‘No. Not yet.’ He heard her say. 

Suddenly, in his mind’s eye, he saw the vision of a mouse cleaning itself on one of the rafters, not noticing the great, winged beast lurking in the shadows a mere foot away.

‘Hope…’, Ren moaned internally, ‘I just fed you.’

‘Well, yes… But I am still hungry.’

‘Well, I don’t want to find puked-up mouse bones on my pillow tonight. Again.'

‘Ugh. Fine.’ Hope grumbled.

Ren could practically feel the eye roll from his companion, and he struggled to keep his face neutral. He was halfway through tuning a string to A when his own stomach began to grumble. He hadn’t had much to eat today, or at all, what little he did have going to fill his daughter Esana’s belly. 

‘Maybe I should catch a mouse for you to eat.’ He heard Hope say. 

‘Thanks, but no…’

‘When was the last time you ate?’

‘In the morning.’

‘Which morning?’

‘…’

‘Renan…’

‘…Yesterday.’

‘RENAN.’

Ren winced against the shrill voice echoing in his head. A man sitting at a table nearby gave him an odd look, to which Ren responded with a sheepish wave.

“Lute strings!” He said in way of explanation. “They don’t make them like they used to.”

The man merely grunted and went back to his tankard. 

‘Look, Hope.’ He said. ‘I promise I will get something to eat tonight after we’re through.’

‘I will hold you to that, Renan.’

The tavern began to fill in earnest as more workers ended their day shift. Amongst the crowd, Ren noticed a group of shifty-eyed men gathering at a nondescript table closer to the back of the bar. It had probably the worst lighting in the entire tavern, but the darkness made it particularly well suited for those who maybe didn’t want to be watched too closely, such as lovers…. Or secretive organizations.

Interesting…

‘Is Esana still in our room?’ Ren asked as he tuned a string to E flat. 

‘Yes,’ came Hope’s reply, ‘She was asleep when I left. Why?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t want a repeat of last time, where she snuck out for an entire hour without anyone noticing after I explicitly told her not to?’

‘Ah, yes. Wherever does your daughter get her complete and utter disregard for authority? It is truly a mystery for the ages.’

Ren couldn’t help but laugh at that. Hope had become quite adept at using sarcasm over the years. 

‘Fair.’ He said. ‘I suppose she does come by it naturally.’

‘What is that mortal saying about apples and trees?’

‘Har har. Alright you made your point.’

Out of the corner of his eye, Ren saw a man walk in that he recognized. The thin, balding man was a Magister, albeit a low-ranking one. Ren couldn’t remember what the man actually did in the Magisterium, exactly, only that it was something asinine.

Asinine or note, that didn’t explain what he was doing here, of all places. The Black Swan was a little too plebeian for most Magisters.

‘Well, well.’ He thought ‘Look who’s slummin’ it up with the rest of us. Interesting.’

‘That is the man in charge of grain tax collection!’ He heard Hope say.

‘He is?’ Ren asked. ‘How do you know that?’

‘Because I pay attention, Renan.’

‘Oh… Well, I’m glad one of us does…’

Ren’s interest peaked even further as he watched as the magister walk to the back, taking a seat at the table with the group Ren had noticed earlier.

Very interesting…

‘Alright, it looks like the Venatori dinner party has started. Table in the back.’ He said. ‘Let’s get to work, shall we?’           

‘We shall. Good luck, Ren.’

‘You as well, Hope.’

Ren walked up the stairs to the small stage at the front of the bar. With a bright grin, he played the first few notes of the song on his lute and began to sing.

“Oh, come along with me, love.

Come along with me.

Come for one night and be my wife.

And come along with me.”

While still playing the notes to the chorus on the lute, Ren stopped singing to address the crowd.

“Grata! Bienviedo! Welcome good people of Minrathous.” He said. “My name is Rook, and I am here to add a little song to your evening. But enough with the pleasantries! The night is young, and I don’t know about you lot, but I am far, far too sober!”

His grin broadened as the crowd began to laugh and cheer. Ren heard a few of them shout, “Here, here!” and his playing grew stronger as he egged the crowd on further. 

“So, let’s raise a glass,” Ren crowed, “and let the night of drinking and debauchery begin!”

And, with that, he began to sing once more, his voice strong and clear.

“Well it is of a jolly butcher, as you might plainly see,

As he roved out one morning in search of company.

He went into a tavern and a fair girl he did see

And said ‘Come for one night and be my wife,

Oh come along with me!’”

Ren jumped off of the stage and began to weave in and around the tables as he continued his song. 

“He called for liquor of the best

And he made such fortune play

‘Come have a drink, it'll make us think

That it is our wedding day’”

‘I cannot hear them, Renan.’ He heard Hope’s voice say in his head as he played. ‘Distract them so I can fly down and slip underneath their table.’

Ren began to maneuver himself to the back of the bar, stopping every so often to play at another table to make it look less conspicuous. He danced around a waitress as she was carrying mugs of ale, giving her a bright smile that made her blush prettily. Finally, he stopped at the Venatori’s table, placing his foot on the edge of the table top with a thunk. Balancing his lute on his knee while he played, he leaned forward and winked at the Magister, who fumed. So focused were they all at the elf and his sheer audacity, that they didn’t notice the small black figure silently fly down from the rafters, dodge the various foot traffic, and tiptoe underneath the table.

‘I made it, Ren!’ Hope crowed, triumphantly.

Ren beamed at the crowd and continued his song.

“Well, he called for a candle to light their way to bed

And when he had her in the room these words to her he said

‘A sovereign I will give to you for to embrace your charms.’

And all that night, that fair young maid lied in the butcher's arms.

Oh, come along with me, love

Come along with me!

Come for one night and be my wife

And come along with me.

Well, about one year later he went roving out once more,

And he went into the tavern where he'd often been before.

He wasn't in there very long when his fair maid he did see,

And she brought forth a baby three months old and placed it on his knee.”

Some of the crowd began to chuckle as they realized where the song was going. Ren’s playing picked up in volume as he reached the punch line. 

“And when he saw the baby, he began to curse and swear

And he said unto that fair young maid, ‘Why did you bring him here?!’

‘Well, he is your own, kind sir’, she said, ‘Do not think me strange

Well, that sovereign that you gave to me, well I gives you back your change!’”

The crowd burst into raucous laughter, and Ren couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride as he finished the song.

“Oh, come along with me, love

Come along with me!

Come for one night and be my wife

And come along with me!”

With a flourish he played the last few chords as the crowd’s laughter turned into applause. He gave a bow, and as he stood back up he saw a flash of red dart through the crowd.

“Dammit.” He muttered. 

‘What happened?’ He heard Hope ask. He turned to the crowd.

“Thank you! You have been a wonderful audience!” Ren exclaimed. “Don’t forget to tip your waitresses! If you need me, I’ll be by the bar.”

The crowd quickly went back to their food and drink, and Ren made a beeline for the bar. 

‘I thought you said Esana was sleeping.’ He demanded through the bond. 

‘She was!’ The spirit replied. ‘I thought she was. Oh! But she might have been faking, now that I think about it. The snoring was a bit too loud.’

To which Ren could only groan.

The Maker had to have it out for him. That was the only explanation. 

‘Don’t move, Hope.’ He said. ‘Keep listening in on the Venatori. I want to have something to report back to the Dragons before the night is over.’

“Only one song tonight, Rook?” Asked one of the waitresses, Rosa, as she carried a tray full of food and drink.

“Can’t be helped, Rosa.” He said as he approached the bar. The barkeeper, a jovial older man with a wiry frame and bright eyes named Julius, poured him a glass of water with a knowing grin.

“Loose something?” He asked.

“Ugh.” Was Ren’s articulate response. Julius only laughed as Ren downed the water in one gulp before setting the glass back down on the counter with a thunk.

“You didn’t happen to see which way she went, did you?” Ren asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Aye. She snuck out the back door.” 

“Thank you, Julius.”

“Best of luck, Rook!” 

-

Ren stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the cool night air to center himself. He needed to remain calm. Esana couldn’t have gotten far.

In the distance he heard the sound of cheering. Children cheering. He relaxed slightly; he had a feeling whatever was going on, Esana was probably around, if not directly involved.

He followed the sound of cheering until he turned a corner and found himself staring at a veritable horde of children all gathered around a circle. In the middle, playing what looked like a game of bones against an older human boy, was Esana.

“That looks like another game for me!” She exclaimed as she grabbed the copper pieces and put it in her already fairly substantial pile of winnings.

The boy didn’t seem too pleased. 

“That’s not fair!” He cried. “You cheated!”

“How do you cheat at bones, Dax?” One of the other children asked. Dax’s face only grew more red as the other children began to laugh. 

“Yeah, Dax.” Esana taunted as she began to count her winnings. “Don’t be a sore looser.”

“Why you-“

Whatever Dax was about to say was cut short by the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the alley. Out of the darkness, a behemoth of a man emerged. He had lank, dark hair that clung to his face and a scar that ran from one side of his neck to the other. He approached the children, most of whom had already scurried away, and sneered at them with yellowing teeth. 

“What do we have here?” The large man asked as he loomed over the children eyeing the pile of money. “You brats got some money for me?”

“No!” Esana cried. “That’s mine!” She stood up, putting herself between the man and the coin. 

Ren could have sworn his heart had stopped beating then, as he watched the giant man loom over his daughter. His daughter, who looked so very small standing in that man’s shadow. Thinking quickly, Ren grabbed a bottle from a nearby drunkard and flicked a coin his way before the man could complain too much.  

“What did you say, little knife ear?” The man sneered as he pulled an out a wicked looking dagger. “Perhaps I should teach you a lesson of what happens when pests like you talk back to your betters.”

Esana’s eyes widened as the knife was held merely inches from her face. The man made to grab her, but before he could do anything, Ren staggered out of the darkness as if drunk, practically barreling into the man. He made a show of spilling the contents of his bottle all over the man’s clothes. 

“M’so sorry, serah.” He said, slurring his words together. “It seems I-“ and he hiccuped here for effect “-I can’t seem to hold me liquor! Can’t seem to carry it neither.”

Ren gave his best drunken laugh as he pointed to the almost empty bottle of booze. Predictably, the man took the bait, grabbing Ren by the collar and shoving him hard against the wall. 

“Stupid elf! I should gut you here and now!” 

Too busy threatening him, the man didn’t notice Ren pull on the Fade, summoning flames in his left hand. 

“Gut me?” Ren asked, feigning innocence. “While you’re on fire?”

The man stared at Ren in confusion before bursting into laughter.

“On fire? You must be drunker than I-“

Suddenly, the man let out an inhuman screech as Ren held the flame against the man’s alcohol drenched clothes, quickly setting them ablaze with a satisfying woosh. The man dropped Ren as he tried to quickly strip off his burning clothes.

Ren, for his part, didn’t need to be told twice. Grabbing his daughter, he took off running down the narrow alley. 

They had made it almost halfway back to the Black Swan when he stopped to catch his breath. He looked down at his daughter and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Getting down on one knee he began to look her over.

“Are you alright?” He asked. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. I’m fine.” 

Ren nodded. That would have to do. For now, at least.

Together, father and daughter ran the rest of the way back to the Black Swan. When finally they arrived at the back entrance, the adrenaline seemed to leave Ren all at once, leaving him drained. He sank onto one of the large crates nearby, placing his head in his hands as the reality of what almost happened hit him like a druffalo. 

Esana stood there nervously, sensing, perhaps, that she had crossed a line somewhere. 

“Papa, I’m-“

Ren cut her off. 

“Esana,” he began, frustration filling the void where fear and adrenaline once were, “How many times have I told you that you cannot go out at night on your own?”

“I was just-“

“And yet, you continue to deliberately disobey me. And for what? A handful of coin?”

“It wasn’t just a handful…” she muttered. 

Something inside Ren snapped.

“HE COULD HAVE TAKEN YOU!” Ren shouted as he gripped his daughter’s shoulders desperately. “PAWNED YOU OFF AT THE SLAVE MARKET! OR WORSE, HE COULD HAVE KILLED YOU! DUMPED YOUR BODY SOMEWHERE AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN NONE THE WISER. WOULD THE COIN HAVE BEEN WORTH IT THEN? WELL?”

Hot, angry tears streamed down Esana’s face as she pulled herself out of her father’s grip and ran into the tavern. Ren tried to grab her but she was too quick.

“Esana!” He yelled. “Esana get back here!”

Instead, he heard the sound of a door slamming from upstairs, where the guest rooms were. He looked around the tavern and noticed that it was mostly empty, save for a few stragglers who seemed too deep into their cups to notice the elven family drama going on around them. He also noticed a distinct lack of Venatori. They must have left earlier as well. 

Shit.

With a sigh, Ren felt all of the previous anger bleed out of him, leaving him bone-tired. With great effort, Ren dragged himself to the bar, rubbing at his eyes before anyone could see the moisture in them. 

“Julius,” he called, “Can I have another glass of water, please?”

The barkeep popped out from the kitchen, a bowl of something heavenly smelling in one hand and a tall glass of water in the other.

“I’ll do you one better.” He said, setting the bowl, some sort of stew, in front of Ren. “Here, eat. You look like you’re about to keel over where you stand.”

“Julius, you are a gentleman and a scholar.”

“Yes, yes. Tell me something I don’t know.”

Ren took a few spoonfuls before his appetite left him entirely as the monster currently gnawing at his stomach felt more akin to guilt than hunger. He stirred the soup in lazy circles with his spoon, occasionally making a half-hearted attempt at taking a bite before giving up entirely. 

“I need to go talk to Esana.” He said with a sigh.

“Rook, wait…”

Ren looked up and was surprised to see the old barkeep looking at him with eyes full of understanding… and a bit of sorrow.

“I don’t usually tell people this for obvious reasons, but… my father was also a freeman.” He said. “And an elf, too.”

Ren’s eyes widened. A lot of things about Julius suddenly made sense. The slight build, the bright eyes…

The easiness in which he accepted Ren and Esana… 

He looked at the man in a whole new light then, silently wondering how he never noticed the way Julius’s ears tapered to a point, a tell-tale sign of the man’s heritage.

“I’ll be.” Ren exclaimed. “I’d had no idea I was in the presence of a fellow knife-ear. I’ll make you a flower crown. Maybe even show you some of my favorite places to frolic naked in the moonlight.”

“I am quite capable of going to a whore house on my own, thank you.”

Both men burst into laughter, loud enough in the almost empty tavern to draw the attention of the last remaining guests. The confused stares sobered both men up fairly quickly, and Julius continued whatever point he was getting at.

“Before I was born,” he said, “my father had somehow managed to buy his and my mother’s freedom. Never did quite figure out how he managed to pull it off...”

Julius’s eyes grew distant as he stared at something only he could see. After a moment, he blinked, and turned his attention back to Ren. In all the years he had known the man, Ren had never seen an expression so solemn on his face as he did now.

“When I was Esana’s age, I also never… appreciated the sacrifices my father had made for my family. For me... And Maker, there were so many…”

“And you do now?” Ren asked.

“Aye.” Said Julius. “I do now. Very much so. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but Esana will too.”

Ren considered the older man’s words as he took a few more bites of his stew. He pushed himself off of the counter and dusted himself off. 

“Thank you, Julius.” He said. “For everything.”

“Anytime, Rook.“

Ren made his way up the stairs and down the hall to where he and Esana were staying. As quietly as he could, he crept in, closing the door behind him. 

They were fortunate enough to stay in a room with two cots this time, an upgrade to their usual fair. He noticed that the cot on the left was occupied by a relatively Esana sized lump buried underneath the blankets. On the desk , underneath an open window, was a rook. It sat atop a wooden perch as it cleaned its feathers with its long, grey beak. 

Hearing the door close, it looked up and flew over to where Ren sat on the empty cot, silently landing on his knee.

“Hey, Hope.” He uttered.

“…Why is your doublet singed?” Was the spirit’s response.

“Good to see you too.”

“Renan…”

Ren looked down at his doublet, his favorite one too, and, sure enough, he noticed singe marks all long the bottom hem. 

And lo, did the Maker say “Fuck this Elf in particular.” He thought.

“I suppose it does not matter. I am sure it can be fixed.” Hope said kindly. Then, through the bond, he heard: ‘Esana was very upset, but she would not tell me what happened.’

‘She decided to pick fights with grown men and then I lost my temper and yelled at her.’

‘Ah. I see.’

Hope climbed up Ren’s arm to perch on his shoulder.

“I think I am going to go out.” She announced. “Stretch my wings for a bit.”

“Have fun.”

Hope rubbed up against his cheek affectionately, nuzzling him much like she had when he was a boy, newly arrived in the Tevinter Imperium and being sold off like chattel.

‘You can fix this.’ He heard her say through the bond. 

With that, Hope flew out the open window and into the warm summer’s night, leaving father and daughter alone to talk. After a minute or two of sitting silently in the dark, Ren spoke.

“I know you’re awake, Esana.” He said. “Can we talk? Please?”

A loud sniffle from underneath the covers was the only response he got. With a sigh, Ren pulled off his boots and set them neatly by his bedside table.

“It’s ok, Esana. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” He said as he took off his now singed doublet. “I’ll talk then, ok?”

Ren took a moment to gather his thoughts. He stared down at his hands, looking at the small knicks and callouses from years of playing the lute. He unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, and let the loose sleeves reveal old scar tissue across his wrists from where too-heavy shackles had rubbed his skin raw years ago. They certainly weren’t pretty, which was part of the reason why he always covered them, but they weren’t the worst of his scars. He knew his back was a gnarled web of lash marks, fifty in total. They still ached from time to time, too…

He made a vow, long ago, that the Imperium would never hurt him, or his loved ones, ever again. And he intended to keep that promise.

“I love you, Esana.” He said, finally. “And I am very sorry that I yelled at you like I did. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

In the darkness, Ren saw two bright blue eyes (her mother’s eyes, he thought distantly) peek out from underneath the covers, watching him warily. Taking that as progress, he continued.

“The truth is, I was scared. What you did was incredibly dangerous. I truly thought that man was going to hurt you, and that terrified me.”

Esana crawled out from underneath the covers and sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over and refusing to look anywhere but her bare feet. Ren noticed that she was already in her nightgown. She must have changed after she stormed upstairs. 

With a small smile, Ren patted the empty space beside him in invitation. Esana quickly crossed the short distance to sit with her father, but still refused to look up at him, even after he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to his side. 

“I just wanted to help.” She said miserably, swiping at her eyes as fresh tears  began to fall. “I thought that if I could earn money like you do, then you would let me join you for once.” 

“Esana…”

“I just wanted to be like you. I’m tired of being treated like a baby.”

Ren tucked an errant lock of red hair behind his daughter’s ear. 

“Esana,” he said, “I don’t need you to be like me. In fact, that’s the last thing in the world I want you to be. And while I appreciate the help, I’m your father. It’s my job to take care of you, not the other way around.” 

“But I want to help!” Esana cried, almost desperately. “I want to be out there, with you!”

Ren chewed his bottom lip as he pondered Esana’s words. He certainly did not want to expose her to the drunks of Minrathous, but he also knew that soon she would be turning thirteen. Too old to stay willingly cloistered away. Maybe he could bring her along every now and then, introduce her little by little to his world in a way where he could monitor her and keep her safe, rather than having her go out behind his back…

Still, he couldn’t help but feel he was missing something. Something important. There was a frantic edge to Esana’s pleading that Ren couldn’t understand. Not for the first time, Ren wished his wife were still alive. Leena would have known what to do. She was good at that sort of thing.

“I’ll tell you what,” Ren began, cupping his daughter’s chin gently, “how about I teach you how to play that spare flute I have? Then, you could play with me. Sometimes.”

Esana stared up at her father with wide, disbelieving eyes. 

“Sometimes!” He reiterated. “Only the jobs that I think are safe, ok?”

“Really?” she asked, excitement and a strange tinge of something akin to relief shining in her eyes.

“Yes.” Ren laughed. “Really.”

Esana launched herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug which he returned without a thought. 

“I love you, papa.” She said.

“I love you, too, Esana.”

Not long after Ren noticed his daughter’s eyelids grow heavy and her shoulders begin to droop. He chuckled as he watched her try to stifle a yawn.

“Alright little Nuglette, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. To bed with you.” 

“Ok, papa.” Esana murmured sleepily as she crawled back into her own cot. Suddenly, that frantic edge that Ren noticed earlier returned.

“Papa…” she said, “Could I stay in your cot? Until I fall asleep?”

“Sure.” Ren said with a small smile.

Esana quickly scurried from her cot to join her father. She snuggled herself up against him, and he felt her relax as if she had been holding in some sort of tension. 

“Esana,” Ren asked as she tucked herself in the crook of his arm, “Is everything alright?”

Esana hastily nodded, not quite looking her father in the eye. Ren sighed.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

Another nod. 

“Ok. Good night, Esana. Sweet dreams.”

Ren didn’t notice Esana wince at the mention of dreams. He didn’t notice his daughter squeeze her eyes shut, desperately trying not to think of the monsters in her dreams that hounded her, begging her to let them in. 

Instead Ren began to sing softly, voice barely above a whisper as he sang an old Elvish lullaby, one that his own mother sang to him when he was little. It didn’t take long for Esana to drift off into the Fade. No nightmares plagued her this time, safe as she was in her father’s arms and a song promising only pleasant things echoing in her ears. 

For Ren, however, sleep evaded him despite his exhaustion. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t mind and was content to watch the rise and fall of Esana’s chest as his daughter slept soundly, snuggled up against him. Truth be told, he cherished moments such as these because he knew that sooner rather than later, his daughter would grow too old to cuddle with her papa. For now, though, he placed a kiss upon his little girl’s brow and held her as tightly as he could without waking her.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, only that it was near dawn when Hope flew in through the window, the first rays of light gently reflecting off of her feathers, giving them a purplish hue. 

“Morning, Hope.” Whispered Ren as he watched her land on the bedside table. 

“Good morning, Renan.” She whispered back. “I am happy to see you two worked it out.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Ren shifted slightly to face his friend. “You were gone an awfully long time. Did something happen?”

“I ran into Neve Gallius. She would like you to meet her later this evening.” 

“Ah… and what did our favorite Ice Queen want? Did she say?”

“Only that she would like to introduce you to an aquantence of hers. Some sort of… novelist?”

“Of course she does…” Ren murmured tiredly, not really paying attention. 

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the silence of the early morning. Ren was just about to finally drift off to sleep when Hope looked up from where she was preening her feathers and stared out of the window with an unusually concerned expression.

“Renan…” she whispered, so quietly Ren barely heard her. 

“Mmm?”

“There is a storm coming.” Was all she said.

-

Little did Ren know, as he later found himself staring up at the terrifying visages of his Dalish mother's myths, how true those words were about to become. 

[sorcerous-caress]

could u possibly do how companions would treat tav's kid? like in a situation where a tav had a child/younger sibling or smth. fluffy fluff all around

You know how sometimes fate aligns so that your past deeds follow you into the future? This request gave me a flashback to my old writing blog.

Companions reacting to Tav's younger sibling/child

[ bg3, fluff, several characters ]

[ Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Karlach, Laezel, Shadowheart, Minthara ]

Astarion

What on earth is that little gremlin following you around? Just make sure that no one feeds it after midnight.

To say he's not a fan is a huge underestimation, he signed up for a camp full of hot available single adults and not a daycare. How are you expecting him to be his usual self when a pg13 warning keeps chasing you around.

Whatever, he will just ignore the goblin-like thing. He can do that, how hard can it be?

Well...actually now that some time has passed, he has to admit that the little menace is really funny at times. Especially that one time he stole Gale's books to build a book throne in the mud, Astarion swears he could still hear Gale's heart shattering into a million pieces, what a fond memory.

What? Pfff, no, he isn't getting attached. He just...well was doing some trick with a coin to make it disappear, and the kid happened to be nearby, Astarion definitely wasn't trying to impress them.

Now the thing about picking locks is that it's better to teach them young. Think of all the small places, nooks, and crannies they could fit into, bringing them some loot and actually be useful.

And since he's already bothering to do it, might as well teach them how to wield a bow. Properly wield a bow, not like how Wyll does it no, it requires elegance only an elf is capable of and Astarion is the most expert here to train them.

Did you see that? They're actually getting better. He genuinely is impressed, so much that he doesn't register the smile of pride adorning his face, the excitement in his voice as he boasts about the kid's accomplishment and how they're clearly superior than the other crotch goblins.

Gale

Ah, children, truly the future of mankind. Humanity's hope and the ones who will carry the torch after us.

He is almost giddy at the idea of having an impressionable youth to teach, to steer and to spoil rotten like he was spoiled.

Will show off magic tricks nonchalantly, he definitely has a hidden agenda in trying to make the kid a wizard. After all who is better than him, an arch wizard, to teach a new curious soul about all the wonders of the weave? No magic is too advanced, everything is possible with imagination.

If anything, kids have the best imagination, better than adults do. Which is the argument he uses when you ask him why your little one can shoot invisible fireballs now.

He would love to read to them, he has all kinds of stories about heros, past legends and fables that will guarantee them a safe and sound mind. A healthy mindest to nurture then into a good kind hearted adult.

Even when his books end up the subject of the kid's abuse kind of a lot- Gale is nothing but forgiving. Cut the kid some slack, if anything, Gale is happy they are safe and sound.

Would make special meals for the kid during dinner time a lot, bunny shaped carrot cuts or soup with a sparkly finish. He can even teach them some basic recipes, cooking is a very important life skill afterall.

Wyll

He is very experienced with kids. Feels a bit concerned for the fact they're at camp all alone and volunteers to stay behind and watch them. And no, unlike the previous two, he doesn't try to indoctrinate them into elf supremacy culture nor tactically manipulate them into being a wizard.

He just lets them be a kid, plays ball with them. Shows them how to play fetch with Scratch. Overall a very cool and laid back older brother.

He definitely takes great inspiration from his own dad and how he raised him, offers the same advice and wisdom his own father shared with him.

Shows the kid that life is so much more than it seems, nothing is truly evil and nothing is truly good. Both can be found in each other. He treats the kid with respect and doesn't pull the older than you card unless necessary.

He wants them to establish their own being, their own character and carve their own path in life.

Definitely does whatever he can to keep Mizora away from the child. That devil cannot be trusted, and even while he knows the kid is smart, he doesn't want to leave it up to fate whether Mizora tricks them into a pact or not.

Halsin

The kid adores him and all of his animal forms. Halsin indulges them a lot and changes into whatever wildshape they deem the coolest that day to play with them.

When he looks at them, he sees a seed for the future. It requires care and nurturing to grow properly, and he is willing to make this world a better place for them.

Shows them how important nature is, how we should take care of the world just like it takes care of us. How we should respect the plants and the animals, how every meal is a gift and should be treasured.

He has a very fatherly vibe to him. It comes naturally, and he doesn't even have to try. Whenever the kid feels overwhelmed or scared, it's Halsin they run up and hide behind.

Also, when they get in trouble too because they know Halsin will take their side.

And he knows the kid is using him sometimes, but he lets it slide. Takes the kid on walks a lot, helps them make friends with the nearby cat that sometimes frequents the camp.

There is a potted plant they're both growing, a small shared project between the two of them. Halsin adores the look of happiness the kid has whenever the plant sprouts a new leaf and grows taller.

They don't have to know that it was Halsin's powers keeping it alive throughout the frequent changing of their camp and consistent travelling.

Karlach

Little soldier is what she calls them.

Picks them up a lot after her engine gets fixed, let's them ride on her shoulder and hang on to her horns sometimes. Even indulges them and pretends she is a robot that they're controlling.

Sorry Astarion, she can't stop hugging you. She's a simple robot, and the overlord kid on her shoulders demanded it.

While Wyll is the cool yet dependable older sibling, Karlach is the even cooler one who's very chaotic and would help the kid in their pranks and cause trouble a lot.

Ah, what the hell kid, sure you can pick up her great flaming axe and swing it around. Actually she will use a nearby table as a shield and you should definitely try throwing it at her.

It's not that she means to be a bad influence, it's just that she is extremely indulgent. That it circles back to being a bad influence without meaning to.

They want to only eat sweets for dinner and all day? Hell yeah little soldier she wants the same. They want to do it for the rest of eternity and never eat vegetables again? Sign her the fuck up because she is ride or die.

Oh yeah, your kid/sibling can swear now, thanks to her, you're welcome.

Jaheira

Is the one feeding them the vegetables, after telling Karlach off and putting her in the timeout corner.

It's not enough that she has a gaggle of children back home, but you had to bring another one with you to the camp? Oh cub, you and your own little cub are going to be the death of her.

If Halsin thinks he can hide them behind his bear form he better think twice, Jaheira isn't below putting the both of them in line if she has to.

She demands respect, and the kid definitely ends up giving it to her, begrudgingly or not. They understand she is the true form of authority in this camp and that they better do what she says and finish their chores.

They definitely see her as a grandma. She is secretly touched if they call her that but acts unaffected. She just doesn't want to let the kid down. She has to be strict because medicine never tastes sweet.

They remind her of her own kids backhome sometimes, she does get homesick a lot more with them around.

Shadowheart

No, she isn't emo. No, she isn't goth either. What is this kid talking about? They better know that worship of lady Shar is very sacred and not a passing phase she will grow out of.

You know how kids are overly curious and always ask these intrusive questions? Shadowheart is a magnet for that.

They just go up to her ,unannounced, and tell her about the recent camp news. She sips on her wine and gives the kid a glass of grape juice while they gossip.

Yes, she is a half elf. No, she is still as capable as an elf.

Wait, what did Astarion say about her? Really? Well, kid, thanks for being a snitch now. If you'd excuse her, she has urgent business to take care of.

She sees them and wonder if this is how her childhood was supposed to be like, if this is what she was missing out on all her life. Sometimes she can't help the burning envy at the back of her throat as she watches them be showered with love and care for simply existing.

But she doesn't let the bitterness get to her, not with how the kid looks at her in awe and admiration. She vows to be at least a decent example and not disappoint them.

Laezel

If left unattended, she will start a boot camp. Come one kid, get down, and give her 40 push-ups now.

What? She is just looking out for them. How else are they supposed to join the battlefield if they have no upper body strength?

Yes, the battlefield, why do you ask? Of course, she wants them in the front lines eventually. War is the perfect environment to raise a child, to make them strong and fast. You were very smart for bringing them here with you, she has to admit.

Bah, she scoofs at Karlach and Astarion's ways. It is a danger hazard at best. The kid needs to start with training equipment and not actual weapons. Her companions' lack of braincells does surprise her sometimes.

Well...she also does mention the fact that for them to graduate, they have to actually murder someone from the camp. You know, like how she murdered half her classmates when she was still in training.

She actually...does a good job at training them safely, she evaluates their weakness and strengths and gives them advice based on it on how to improve. She looks out for their well-being and shows them the most efficient way to end a fight.

But she's only joking? Right? Right???

Uh....did anyone see Gale??

Minthara

To put it in the nicest way possible, they are terrfied of her.

She thinks it's good because any sane person should be afraid of her. Frankly, she'd be concerned for a possibility of brain damage if they weren't.

They avoid her, and she barely pats an eye over it.

Although she was always the first to act whenever they were in danger, completely beheading the enemy with her sword before they could touch a hair on the kid. Still she doesn't care for the fact the child is drenched in blood and just saw someone get murdered.

She thinks they should get over it. The sooner, the better. Life is full of murder and blood, you'd be only dooming them if you don't let them see things for how they really are.

Drow culture for raising their children is very brutal, most of them die young and even the ones who do make it alive, don't live as long as the surface elves do.

Each drow carries deep scars from childhood, both on body and mind. Minthara wasn't the exception.

She tolerates your young out of respect for you. She tolerates what she deems as disobedience and disrespect from them.

You're not sure if they'll ever stop fearing her, but you also know that you can trust her to be there for them. To not hesitate a second in saving their flesh no matter what the cost is.

[madamechrissy]

Dirty Little Secret

ꕥ Pairings: Toji Fushiguro x Fem Reader

ꕥ Warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, dirty talk, Toji calls reader 'doll, ma, slut (Toji and Doll just work lol) Age gap- reader is 21, Toji is 39. - This chapter- Loss of virginity, cunnilingus, blow jobs, rough oral sex, overstimulation, face slapping.- Reader's virginity leaves the chat

ꕥ Word Count- 7,422

ꕥ Summary- Toji Fushiguro is your dad Shiu's best friend for years. You've known him most your life. You come home for spring break to relax, and who pops up at the fucking doorstep? Toji. He's nasty, annoying, perverted and... Sexy. Hot. Built. And makes you think, maybe your first time shouldn't be with some college boy? But with this buff dude who can tie a cherry stem with his tongue and a scar on his damn lip. You just gotta hope your dad doesn't find out.

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

“Morning, Princess.” Your dad greets you as you yawn, walking out to the kitchen, following the scent of pancakes and bacon. You smile as you see Mei is there along with Toji, but when your eyes hit him?

Pussy throbs.

Jesus christ.

He grins, then licks that scar, crossing his arms and looking ridiculously attractive in nothing but a pair of gray sweats. You can see the outline of him, see his perfect, ridiculously toned body. Everything about him makes you damn near drool, and you’re stuck there staring for a moment.

“You good, doll?” Toji drawls out those words, and you shake it off, glaring. He smirks.

“I’m fine, old man. Morning Mei, morning dad!”

“Why do I get the angry little greeting? Mean little brat.” You just shove at his stupidly hard body, coming to hug your dad then. He kisses your head, smiling.

“She’s feisty, is all.” Shiu says, and you stick your tongue out at Toji then, making him ruffle your hair.

“Angry little elf.”

“Elf, really!”

Shiu and Mei are laughing, then your Dad makes you a plate. “Thanks, Dad, ugh looks so yummy.”

You sit down, and unfortunately Toji sits next to you, and god if you can’t just smell his scent… all masculine and a little sweaty, but it’s hitting some spot in your ovaries that hurts. You throb around nothing, uncomfortable, as you try to focus, pouring syrup on your pancakes then.

“Hey, darling, I brought a bikini that should fit.” Mei says then, nibbling on a bite elegantly. She was so elegant and you’re… what, an elf? Fucking Toji.

“Oh my god, lifesaver. Thank you Mei!” She grins, tossing her silky braids back over her shoulders.

“Of course, love. I put it up in the bathroom. Your dad brought up wanting to do a beach day.” 

“That sounds fun! For sure.”

“Kiddo can’t swim though. She may get swept away.” You kick Toji under the table, and he winces, scowling. “What!”

“It’s a shallow beach mostly, she’ll be fine.” Shiu takes a bite, leaning closer to Mei then, and they seem very familiar.

Huh.

It’s kind of nice, since your mother hasn’t been around and Shiu had been so upset for so long about it.

Toji’s big fucking hand is now resting on your thigh under the table, and you hesitate, pausing forking another bite in your mouth, staring at him. He’s nibbling on a piece of bacon, smirking at you, brushing a thumb down your soft inner thigh, making you look around nervously.

His touch hits you stupidly hard, tummy clenching with desire already waving over you. It’s hidden under the tablecloth, but it feels so wrong, well more wrong than it already was. You struggle to keep any composure as he slides up more, acting so casual, leaning a little closer to you, whispering in your ear.

“So hot between them thighs, doll. All f’me?” You glare, and thank God Mei and Shiu were talking loudly, heading back into the kitchen.

“Shut up, wanna get caught?” He slides his hand up even more, until his hand cups your pussy over your shorts, and he exhales, those dark green eyes glazing over with desire.

“You want it, don’t ya?” You shake your head, so he laughs a bit, quietly, then rubs you there. You close your legs, but it doesn’t help, when he’s slid your shorts to the side and rubs you between your lips. You inhale sharply, looking at him with wide eyes, shaking your head, and he just grins.

“Stop it, Toji, the fuck...” He’s grinning wider, finding your clit and rubbing in a little circle with that calloused finger, all while you try to keep it together, growing flushed and overheated.

“So wet f’me too, mmm.” You take a deep breath, trying to calm down as you chew the mouthful of food, and you lean back, pressing your back into the chair, trying to get away from his hand.

But Toji just slides chair closer, his thumb pressing harder on your clit now, and a thick finger sliding in your soppy little cunt. Your dad and Mei are still in the kitchen, and thankfully they’re playing music, but you’re acutely aware of them, your heart racing at the risk of being caught.

Toji seems unfazed completely, amused in fact, his eyes never leaving your face as he expertly plays with you, the tension building up, making you throb around him, soaking his hand. “Toji, I’m gonna...” You bite down on your bottom lip, trying to keep your voice low, but you’re so close you can’t take it, and you have no clue how to keep quiet.

“Act all shy and innocent, like a good girl.” He whispers, his finger swirling around your clit, pressing harder when you try to pull away. “But I know you’re a little slut f’me, aren’t ya? You like it.” You shake your head, and he just chuckles softly. “Lyin little brat, just admit it. Ya want me to break that perfect pussy.”

“Shh!” You glare then, and he slides another finger, you pray no one hears your cunt literally squishing, your cunt is so slick you can’t take how good it feels, him stretching you out. Your eyes flutter shut and you tremble as you hold the cup of coffee to your lips, struggling to act composed.

“Wanna cum on this cock, don’t ya?” You just glare, but then he’s knuckles deep, and you tremble, slick wetness non stop as your walls close around his hand.

“Then go fuck me in the bathroom, all talk and won’t do it.” You hiss, and he grins, shaking his head.

“First time, nah. I’ll have you in your little bed for that. All your plushies watchin while ya try not to scream too loud.” The thoughts kill you, the anticipation, his fingers, and you’re struggling not to make any noise, as you’re closer, closer, then he’s yanked his hand, and you gasp, nearly falling off the chair.

He’s sucking on your fingers, swirling that lewd tongue around them and moaning softly, eyes shutting for a moment.

You’re done .

You can’t take it.

“You just…”

“Aw, doll, ya wanted me to get ya off? In front of your dad? What a lil slut.” You glare, standing then on trembling legs.

“I’m gonna go get ready for the beach you all!” You say loudly, and they smile, waving over at you.

“I’ll go get ready too.” You curse inwardly, glaring behind your shoulder at the annoying presence that was Toji. He’s following you up the stairs grinning, grabbing your ass and making you smack at him.

“If we’re not fucking stop, can’t handle anymore, ugh!” You hiss the words under your breath, and he’s grinning down at you, brushing back his black hair and yanking you against him in the hallway.

“Such a lil baby, can’t handle some edging?”

“No, I can’t. It hurts.”

“Aw, poor lil thing.” He pouts at you, and you glare, smacking him, then his mouth is wide open, you run then.

“Oh shit, oh shit!”

He’s shoved you in your room then, smacking you back, and you glare up at him, breathless, then you smack him again, and he moans, gripping you by the throat and pressing up. You struggle, but then you just enjoy it, enjoy him choking you, owning you, so big and strong. His teeth are bared, and he’s right against your lips, your breath hot on your lips.

“Ya fuckin gonna learn a lesson slapping me like that. Lucky you’re so pretty or I’d be really pissed. As it turns out…” He watches as your eyes glaze over, as he spins you then, releasing your throat. “Really got me hard, doll.”

“You’re a freak, ugh.” You grumble, but when he yanks your shorts down and smacks the hell out of your ass, making it sting, you’re wetter now. You bite back the urge to moan, as he’s got his hand in your hair, gripping hard as he presses your face against the wall, then he’s smacked you again, harder.

“Freak huh? Well seems like you’re drippin fuckin wet from… this.” He smacks you again, then runs the back of his fingers on your slick cunt, you whine, wiggling, you want more . “You're the freak here, aren’t ya?”

“Shut up, old man.” He smacks you again, the air stinging the whelp. “Toji, my bikini!”

“Fine. Don't fuckin try that again, damn brat.” He tilts your chin to look at him, pressing his hard body against your back.

“Just fuck me. Please.” You wiggle your ass against him, and he hisses, gripping you tight.

“I want time with you, the first time can hurt. I don't want it to be… bad for ya or anything.” You pause at that, turning and looking up at him, and you damn near melt. He's so oddly considerate? Caring? And you can feel how much he wants you.

“When will we have time though? Without…”

“Just kiss me. I… like it.” Is Toji blushing!?

You sigh and tip toe, and for a moment this strong, creepy ass of a man is vulnerable, youthful… fucking so attractive too. You run your hand along his undercut, and he exhales, kissing you then, his lips drinking in your sighs. He picks you up higher, and you're just dangling off the floor, he holds you like you're some doll.

Doll huh.

He's trembling ever so slightly as he holds you, and you pull back, surprised, at his blown out pupils. “I've never liked kissing so much. It's really… fuckin weird.”

You snort at that, sighing. “I did at least have kissing experience if nothing else.”

“Don't wanna hear about anyone kissing ya. Ever.” You blink at that, confused, then tense when you hear your dad and Mei in the hall.

“Shit.” You mutter quietly, and he just shushes you with a finger to his lips until they pass.

“Go get in that bikini doll.” He grips your ass, kissing you one more time. “I'll leave after you. Let me know the coast is clear.”

Soon you're getting in your bikini, wincing at how soaked your shorts had become. Toji was literally some tease!? And caring somewhat!?

Bum Toji, asshole Toji, hoe Toji, he… cared enough to not have your first time be rushed and shitty.

You do like him.

Fuck…

***

Mei’s bikini fit much better, dark blue and hitting mid waist, so thankfully your tits and ass weren’t hanging out. You throw on a little black cover up, grab your sunblock and shades, putting your sandals on. Your legs? Still weak and trembling from Toji’s endless fucking teasing.

You head out front, and your dad and Mei are already in the car, and when you walk out, they honk the horn, waving at you. Toji is leaning against the car, his eyes on you, and you feel his gaze like a brand on your skin, he’s just in trunks and an open black kimono top. You tremble as you look at his body, tanned skin already glistening with sweat.

You walk over, trying to play it cool and ignore him like you do, but he opens the door for you, winking. Toji opened a door, huh?

“Ready for the beach, doll?”

“Yes, let’s go!” You climb in the back of your dad’s sports car, which was tiny and had the tops down. You and Toji were shoved in the back, far too close to each other, as Toji’s legs are spread wide, his arms too, one of them right behind your head, and his strong thigh was pressed on yours.

“No Hello Kitty huh.” You stick your tongue out, and he smirks, one of his fingers brushing up under your knitted cover up, sliding up and down your spine.

“Gotta manspread, Toji?” He snorts, and your dad peeks at you in the rearview, a little serious look for a moment.

“Toji, stop manspreading, leave her some room.” Mei says, and you smile thankfully, as he grimaces, adjusting his big ass body a bit.

“She’s tiny, she don’t need much room.” They all laugh, and you just roll your eyes at him.

“I need some room, big oaf!”

“You’re mad you’re like elf size.”

“Let’s put on music, cover up the bickering.” Shiu says, amusedly, and he pops on a rock song, which Mei sings, throwing her arms up in the air. Shiu keeps peeking over at her.

“Your dad’s got it bad, huh?” Toji murmurs in your ear. You nod, leaning closer and ignoring how good Toji’s body feels, so strong and warm.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she? Like elegant.” He hums a bit at that, and his hand is on your back again, splaying the entirety of it with how big he is. You push down the thrumming desire you feel.

“She’s pretty, sure, not my type.”

“What is your type, Toji Fushiguro?” You tilt your head, looking at him behind your dark shades, which luckily cover your eyes right now. He looks down at you then, a little more serious than usual.

“Never been with my type.”

“How… is it your type then?”

“They’re not the kind of women that fuck me is all. Usually I don’t hit on women that are my type. Because it would be… serious.”

“And serious isn’t your thing, huh?”

“Not after…” He tenses, and sighs. “I had one girl I was serious about, Megumi’s mom. When she died, I dunno… just fucked around and meant nothing.” You can hear how serious this is, and you touch his hand for a moment.

“You don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m sorry.” He rubs his finger on the backs of your knuckles for a moment, then backs off.

“It’s fine kiddo.” Luckily the music is loud and the wind is in everyone’s ears, but you feel how tense he is.

“Am I your… type?” You speak quietly, and he sighs as he studies you carefully, Adam’s apple bobbing.

“You’re the type I don’t hit on, yeah.”

“Then why…”

“Because you make me dumb, doll.” At that you feel your tummy clench, your pulse racing, at how he looks at you in that moment, before he eases away some, looking out the open window, as if to end the talk.

The rest of the drive to the beach is awkward, and you’re thankful when you finally arrive. The waves crash against the shore, and the smell of saltwater and sunlight fills the air, the pretty white sand is on your feet, peaceful and hot. You grab your towel and one of the coolers and start heading towards the water, thoughts raging in your mind.

Everyone gets set up, and Toji sets to making you a drink in your big pink tumbler, surprising you. Mei and Shiu are sipping their drinks and lounging under the big umbrella, Shiu is rubbing sunblock on mei and you and Toji look on with amusement, as he does a very thorough job.

“I made you vodka with that cherry stuff.” Toji gruffs, and you smile at him, taking it thankfully.

“Thank you! Yum.” You let the flavor hit your tongue, and then set it down, taking off your cover up, and feel his dark eyes lewdly glaring at your body.

“It looks pretty on you, love.” Mei says with a wink, looking at Toji with a bit of a knowing smirk. “Toji, get your jaw off the floor.”

You flush, and Shiu snorts at that, looking up at the two of you. “It’s because I’ve only seen her in Hello Kitty. Looks too grown up. Weird.”

“Uh-huh sure, old man.” You flip him off and run off with your tumbler, as Shiu and Mei seemingly joke with Toji. He yells at you.

“Sunblock, brat.”

“I’m fine!”

“You’ll burn.” You grumble, coming and handing him the sunblock then, and he rubs it in his big hands, slathering you up. “You always used to burn, don’t you remember?”

“That was forever ago. I’m not a little kid.”

“Uh-huh.” Toji keeps his strokes quick, as you’re right in front of your dad, acting every bit some caring ‘godfather’ or something, but the way he presses?

Fuck.

“There, now you’re good.” You take another sip, looking at where Mei and Shiu are lounged talking, then up to Toji’s stupidly handsome face.

“Imma dip my feet in.”

“Okay sweetie!” Shiu says with a smile, taking a sip of his beer, and Toji? Follows you. Because of course he does.

“Could you be anymore obvious?” You whisper when you’re out in the water, sitting down and letting the water lap all over your thighs. He smirks, sitting right next to you and sipping his beer.

“Obvious, huh? That I wanna rub every inch of that body?”

“Shush.” You’re blushing, sipping your drink.

“I’ll be vanilla first round. Then you’re in for it.” You look at him, jaw slack in shock at his brazen words. “That mouth wide open, wanna shove my cock in it.”

“Shut up, perv!” You glare, standing then and going more into the water, and he stands, following you. You tense when he touches your hip under the water, freaking out, eyes wide. “Toji!”

“No one can see, doll. Or would ya wanna be seen?” You scowl, smacking off his hand, but it simply grips your ass instead, and you try to bite back your moan.

“No I don’t wanna be seen by my damn dad. That would fuck your relationship up you know.”

“Yeah… I know.” He sighs, looking down at you and grabbing your face as he does, squishing your damn cheeks. “I’d ruin anything for a chance at you.”

“You make no sense! Stop.” You turn away again, and he pulls your ass against him with his free hand, facing you towards the sun, water waving around your bodies, cooling your overheaded skin.

“Saw ya and lost my shit when you opened that door. Cute as fuck in your silly pajamas.” You exhale, as his hand slides around, finding you right where you’re aching for him, moaning when he feels how hot you are. “Nipples poking out that top, perky fucking tits swaying as you walk.”

“Toji…” Your protest is weak and pathetic. His words got to you.

“Think I didn’t wanna fuck ya on your eighteenth birthday party too? Already so gorgeous it made me stupid.”

“What? No…”

“Yeah, doll, and you look at me too. Don’t you? Haven’t you always?” You let your head fall back, out in the ocean shoulders deep, goosebumps rising on your breasts, as he slides his finger under your bikini bottom.

“You think I had a crush on you?” He laughs, breath tickling your ear, you tremble at it. You all are very far out and could barely be seen, but still it scares you, that his calloused finger is circling your little clit, that your ass is pressed against him.

“I know ya did, doll. Your eyes eat me up. Looking down my body… down to my cock.” You’re so overheated you can’t breathe, his cock is hard on your back.

“You’re always wearing grey sweats, man whore.” He snorts, nibbling your ear then sliding down your puffy clit, making you cry out softly.

“Admit it, brat.”

“Yes I had a crush on you, ugh. Since I was little. Stupid.” He moans, thick finger going up and down between your soaking lips, already oversensitive, you grip his wrist and arch up and down.

“Desperate for it doll, ain’t ya? For my cock in ya. Did you want me to be your first baby?”

“Shut up.” You say it weak, a breath more than anything. His chest rumbles with laughter. “Conceited shithead.”

“That mouth… can’t wait to-” He shoves a finger in you, making you gasp in pleasure, soaking him. “Ha- shut that mouth up. Fuck ya till you don’t know shit anymore.”

“Shut up. Bet you won’t.”

“We’ll see tonight doll.” He shoves his finger up and down inside your little gummy entrance, hitting that spot, you get dizzy, legs spreading for more, then he slides his fingers out, and you turn, scowling.

“Tease, you’re a tease Toji.” He grins, sliding a hand up to grab your ass again, pushing you against him, so that you’re against his thigh, and his cock is hard against your soft tummy. You gulp.

“Could cum right now just lookin at this pretty face.” He tilts your chin up. “Think I haven’t jacked it to your pictures online?”

“You-creep-ugh!” But it turns you on?

Fuck.

“You post sexy on that Insta thing.” You roll your eyes.

“Instagram? Old man.”

“Old, huh?” You nod, and hiss when he’s shoving his thigh against you, bringing your ass on it. You can’t stop your moan, head falling back, hand desperately gripping the handle of your tumbler.

“Mmm… you’re an old pervert.”

“Am I…”

“Mmnnh. Yep.” He pushes that strong thigh up, and moans.

“You’re so hot f’me, so fuckin desperate. Begging for my cock when you’re this fucking gorgeous?”

“Toji…” You trail off, then you back off as you see Mei and Shiu are in the water, even if they were far out. “We… too much here.”

“I wanna kiss you so fuckin bad, pretty lips make me so hard.” He’s staring at you with such desire his pupils are dilated, making his eyes look black. You struggle to calm yourself, sipping your drink and backing off.

“Wanna kiss me so bad?” He glares, narrowing his eyes, then just gives you a little nod, before you both act ‘normal’ whatever that even was.

***

You just took a shower after the beach, and come down out back to see Toji grilling, and Mei Mei is snuggling on Shiu. They turn when they look at you, and clearly they’re tipsy, while Toji’s eyes slide up and down you in the little dress you’d put on, a little blue sundress.

“Staying the night, Mei?” You ask, coming up to her, and she grins.

“I may, I have drank a lot.”

“No worries! If you need anything tell me.”

“Thank you darling.” She pats your cheek, and Shiu has puppy dog eyes, you wrap an arm around him.

“You like her huh?” You whisper, and he hushes you.

“She’ll hear!” You grin.

“You’re so childish dad.” You shove at him, and he laughs, then you go walk up to Toji, for a moment touching his back then thinking better, but he tensed from just that contact, exhaling.

“You’re so good at grilling.”

“I’m a whole daddy huh.” He winks and you giggle, you can’t help it, before flushing a bit. “Can’t wait to hear you scream it doll.”

“Shh!” You pinch him now and he just grins wide down at you.

“That sundress… fuck, ma.”

“What about it?” Your arm is against his, bare, his is so hot, sweaty, fucking strong…

“Wanna shove it up and bury my face in your pussy.” You’re backing up, you can’t breathe, thinking about it, about… “You want it doll, don’t ya?”

You ignore him, busying yourself, doing anything to avoid it, to avoid the wetness trickling out of your cunt and sticking to your inner thighs. “You’re full of it, huh?”

“You’re gonna be full of this cock, doll.”

***

Mei and your dad have made some excuse to hang out in his room, as if they needed to explain themselves, and you’re cleaning up the dishes while Toji is taking a shower. You can scarcely concentrate, your mind running a million miles a minute, of the pervy asshole, your dad’s best friend, that wouldn’t stop… being sexy?

Ugh.

Suddenly, hands are on your hips, and you jump up, nearly screaming, but a hand comes to your mouth, and Toji’s against you, pressing you against the sink, hard body hot and damp from the shower still. You tense, struggling to breathe, and he eases his hand off, tilting your chin so you look at him, his inky black hair is falling over his forehead, eyes bright as they take you in.

“Shh, doll.” He whispers, sliding his arms around you, one hand lifting up your dress, sliding up to your little lacy panties, pressing up and rubbing you on them. “Fuckin hot f’me, already?”

“Shut up.” He laughs, breathy, tickling your lips, squishing your cheeks and making your lips purse.

“I need these gone.” You tense, then he’s shoved them down your legs, kicking them off your bare feet, kissing the tops of them before sliding up your leg, and your knees lock, you almost fall over as you feel his hands parting your thighs.

“T-Toji… here?” You whisper, he laughs, standing then and you turn to watch him shoving your thong in the pockets of his sweats. “Wha-?”

He’s picking you up before you can speak, and he’s got you up on the kitchen counter, cold marble making you shiver against him, spreading your thighs and shoving the material of your dress up your thighs. He looks at you hungrily, kissing sloppy up your legs, licking trails hot and sticky, and your hands go into his damp hair, hips bucking up.

“That’s it, be my lil slut, doll. Yank that hair and put me there.” You should hate that talk, but no, you love it, and you do, you shove his face against your soaked little pussy, right on the counter, when anyone could walk out and see. “Mmmh, so fuckin yummy.”

“Toji!” You whisper, crying out and shoving a hand on your face, as he’s licking up your cunt then, hungry, and looking at you with those dark forest eyes, hungry as he sucks on your clit. You’re gushing all over, and he’s slurping you up, until you’re close so fast it’s stupid, body tense.

He hums on your clit, and you start cumming, shoving his face up for more, that stubble against your lips driving you nuts, you’re grinding on him, fucking shameless, and you’re soaked now, all down his face. He’s slurping it up, moaning, big hands grabbing your ass and shoving even deeper, until his tongue is deep inside your entrance.

You’re throbbing around it, as he laps up your essence, so hungry for you it makes you even more turned on, and you’re biting back a scream, head slamming back against the cabinet with a thud. He’s relentless against you, tongue fucking you as his fingers slide in, stretching your delicate skin.

“That’s it doll, fuckin pulsing all around my fingers. Nasty lil slut f’me.” You whimper, helpless, as he leans his head up, groaning and spitting on your pussy, licking your cum off his lips and grinning, watching the saliva slip down your lips.

“Please, please…” You’re whimpering, and he laughs softly, spreading his spit all around your already soaked lips, nipping on your clit then, you jerk at it. “Please…”

“Please what, doll? Fuckin can’t hear ya.” You take a shaky breath, as he scissors you with his thick fingers, bringing you close again, the pressure hitting so hard you can’t take it.

“Fuck you Toji.” He scowls, as you glare, then he grabs you, dropping you to your knees on the floor and holding you by your throat, tight as fuck, you can barely breathe when he’s got his sweats down.

“Runnin that mouth. Let me shut it the fuck up.” Suddenly he’s shoving his thick cock in your throat, and you moan softly around it, he hisses, his other hand yanking you by your ponytail. “Lemme fuck that little throat.”

“Ngh!” You’re drooling all over his cock, as he’s choking you, you can’t even breathe.

“Remember the taps?” He whispers, you nod, tapping, then he’s fucking your throat so mean , so nasty, grunting as his tip thickens, bullying its way until you’re swallowing all of his cock.

Your feel lightheaded, just when he lets your throat go, and you try to breathe through your nose, until he holds it close, bottoming out in your throat and moaning, you wiggle, unable to breathe at all now. He’s fucking your throat quicker, harder, and you can’t even grasp his thighs to tap, nearly blacking out, gasping and crying, tapping him finally.

“Fuck, doll…” He releases you immediately, and you hold your throat, tears streaming down your face, he helps you  up, caressing your face. “You’re so fuckin gorgeous with these tears, ya know that?”

You manage to shake you head, throat killing you, trying to come to, and he frowns then.

“Too much?” You manage to shake your head, and he exhales, kissing you then, tasting himself, as you taste yourself, moaning into his mouth. He picks you up, and you cling to him eagerly. “You did so fuckin good f’me, doll.”

“I did?” He nods, moaning and kissing you deeply, the praise making you even wetter as you come to, sucking in air greedy.

“Best fuckin blow job I’ve had.” He’s carrying you then, out of the damn kitchen you all had been precariously fucking around in, and finally you’re in your room, and he’s locking it quietly, carrying you to your bed. He leans up, yanking your dress up and off you. “Perfect fuckin body.”

“Toji… you don’t have to say those things. I wanna fuck you already.” He glares, big hand on your throat again, already sore, you wriggle in his hold, eyes wide.

“I don’t say shit I don’t mean, I ain’t gassin you up. Your body’s so fucking sexy to me. Every inch. Got it?” You feel tears again, this time from how he looks at you, so hungry for you, so intense. “I’ll kiss every inch of you.”

“T-Toji… mmm…” He releases your throat, kissing down your throat, and you cry out softly, hands gripping his thick shoulders. “That’s sweet?”

He laughs darkly, tickling your neck, as his hand slides between your bare thighs, rubbing up and down your glistening pussy. “Sweet, me? Ya lost too much oxygen, there, doll.”

“Shush. It is sweet… mmm!” He smacks you cunt, making it sting, and then rubs his fingers side to side on your clit.

“I’m just telling you the truth. Perfect face. Perfect tits. Curves so soft… thighs that squeeze the fuck outta me. Tight little cunt. Fuck, I even like your little feet.” You giggle at that, as he sucks on a nipple, making you even wetter on his hand.

“Thank you, Toji. I love your body too. It’s perfect.” You run your hands down his strong back, and he pauses, looking up at you, for a moment, intense.

“Course ya do, doll. Ya want that big cock don’t ya?” You nod, reaching down now, feeling him hot and hard in your hand. He groans, yanking your hand up then, pressing your wrists up with his tight grip.

“Please, Toji. I want it. Please.” You arch your ass up, and he tenses, grip tight as he kisses up between your breasts, licking a line between them.

“Ya sure you’re ready, pretty doll?” You nod, and he exhales, positioning himself at your entrance, looking at you, hair falling, you ache to brush it back. “Vanilla, remember?”

You giggle at that, shaking your head. “I don’t see Toji Fushiguro fucking vanilla. It doesn’t compute.” You lean your hips up, as he presses, teasing your soaking entrance, rubbing it up and down against your clit until you’re wriggling.

“Just the first time, doll.” He lets your wrists go, and you think wildly, just what are you doing, begging to lose your virginity from Toji? In your childhood room? And yeah, your plushies are judging you. But… “Hang on to me.”

You tentatively grip his shoulders, and he kisses you, softer than he has before, and you fall into it, fuck it feels good…

Then he thrusts inside you, so thick, hard, long… you can’t hold in your cry of pain when he breaks past that last little barrier of resistance you had. You feel like you’re burning, this insane pressure in you too much, you’re sobbing against his lips, and he groans, grabbing your face and pausing, looking down at you.

“Doll, you okay?” You manage a nod, but you can’t breathe, blinding pain when he eases back and pushes in, further how was he deeper!? He bites his lower lip, eyes shutting for a moment. “You’re too tight, fuck… relax baby.”

“Can’t… t’much.” You whisper out, and he pulls out again, shoving in again, and now it didn’t sting, but you were so full , it felt so…

“Look at me, baby.” You manage to focus on his face, tense with concentration, he slides a hand down between you both, lifting one of your legs over his arm and using the other to toy with your clit. “Focus on it for a minute… fuck you’re too tight… please fuckin loosen up.”

“I don’t know how , virgin, duh!” He grits his teeth, resting his forehead on you, breaths on your lips, and your nails dig into his arms. “Toji…”

“Focus on your clit baby. Please, fuck.” You shut your eyes, trying to focus on where he’s overstimulating your clit, and then you start to relax, as he exhales, pulling back again, then thrusting all the way in, bottoming out against your cervix. He’s so thick, stretching you, as you get wetter with his play.

It starts to feel…

“Toji! Mmm…” You lift your hips experimentally, and open your eyes to see him studying you so intently, eyes drinking you in, two fingers swirling your clit now.

“Better, doll?” You nod, and he breathes out, kissing you deeply, pushing in again, lifting your leg up more. “Perfect pussy. Perfect. Ready?”

You inhale sharply. “Yeah, I think?” He starts thrusting with a rhythm now, fucking into you, and it feels so good, the stretch and him hitting spots you never knew were there. You start moaning, and he covers your mouth with his hand.

“Quiet doll. Can’t have company in here.” You flush at his grin, then he leans his head back, groaning softly. “F-fuckk… so fucking…”

He shoves two fingers in your mouth now,, and you eagerly suck on them, while he starts railing you now, so deep, hips snapping as he overtakes everything. He’s sweating above you, dripping from his body onto yours, getting up on his knees and yanking you down hard on his cock then, you scream around his fingers, drooling as pressure builds in your core.

“That’s it doll. Cum on daddy’s cock.” Your eyes roll back, as he realeases your mouth, slamming his against yours, pressing your thighs up high so he’s abusing your cervix, the hair above his cock grinding against your aching clit. “Say it, doll, say it.”

“Mmm.. you’re… fuck… Daddy. ” He growls, shoving deep and pressing your thighs against your breasts, and you’re cumming so hard you can’t handle, he quickly throws a hand on your mouth to cover your screams.

“Cum all over daddy’s cock, lil’ slut. Good girl.” You’re squirting wetness all around his thick cock, and his pupils are blown out in your dark little room, then he’s fucking you harder, deeper, the bed springs creaking with the force, and the headboard starts smacking on the wall.

“Ngh!” You’re drooling all over, your cunt around his cock throbbing, and he hisses at the sensation, holding the headboard now, tall and domineering with his big body on you, caressing your lips then.

“Fuckin gorgeous little girl. Keep cumming for daddy.” You nod, eagerly, as he uses the new angle to hit some spot in your walls that make you cum again, you grit your teeth not to scream. “Gorgeous when you cum on my cock. Again, doll, you can do it again.”

You feel like you’ll die, like you cant breathe, but as he keeps fucking you, you get close again, as one of his hands slides up and squeezes your breast, smacking it lightly, leaning back down over you. Every muscle in his body is bunched up, tense, as he rolls his hips and shoves that cock against your cervix, pressing against it so hard you wriggle uncontrollably.

“Toji… s’good…”

“Daddy.” He smacks your other tit now, and you hiss. “Say Daddy, fuckin brat. Do it.”

“You’re freaky-ah!”

“Am-ha-I freaky? I’m being gentle, fuckin brat.” He leans down, hands both on your face now, looking down as he pushes in deep and doesn’t move, making you fall apart under him. “Want me to choke ya again? Like a lil slut?”

“Choke me daddy .” He exhales, desire clear in his eyes, his lips parted, and he wraps that big hand on your throat again, squeezing the sides, so good as you feel your head fuzzy.

“Gonna fuck you hard, doll. Got it?” You nod, against his grip, then he starts fucking you mean, thrusts smacking loud in the room, and your cunt is so wet. “Hear that lil cunt, squelching? Fuckin slutty cunt.”

“Unh…” You’re gasping, as you see glitter and stars, as Toji wrecks the pussy he’d just taken for the first time, merciless, and you’re cumming again.

“Can’t help yourself, cumming all over Daddy’s cock? You fuckin love this, perfect slit f’me.” You eat up his nasty words, as your vision gets blurred, and you’re cumming all over him. “Fuck… doll .”

He pauses, easing his grip, your cunt gushes wetness everywhere, down your thighs, down his stomach, and you can hear how wet you are, as he fucks easier and easier in your little pussy. He slows some, grabbing you everywhere, your waist, your hips, your face, until he’s laying on you, his weight so heavy, hot hard body on your soft one.

“Fuckin in love with this pussy.” He whispers, and you tremble, tears of pain and pleasure in your eyes when he pulls you on his cock. “I’m never lettin it go.”

“Toji…” He smacks you lightly, and you moan, arching your back. “Daddy…”

“Good girl.” He’s kissing you, rolling thrusts hitting that spot over and over, so wet you’re slippery now. “Perfect little slut. Perfect little pussy.” He pauses, exhaling and then glaring down at you, gripping you bruising, his cock twitching in you. “Fuck.. Imma cum. Where…”

“Um, on me? I… dunno… where…” He smiles a bit, slowing more, a little gentle almost, so different than what he’d been doing.

“Kiss me, doll.” You’re surprised, blinking, but your wrap your arms around his neck, tongue sliding into his mouth, as he grips you tight, rhythm jerky now. “Cum one more time f’me, like a good girl.”

“Yes, Daddy.” You are unironically calling him that. It’s hot too?

Fuck.

You cum one last time, and he’s groaning quietly, brows drawn together, and he pulls back then, you feel him jerking his cock, and sticky white ropes paint your overheated skin. He keeps cumming too, all over your soft tummy, your ribs, between your breasts, and he’s kissing you now, oddly affectionate, you fall into his kisses, sighing into his lips.

“That pussy? I’ve never fucked anything close to it.” You tremble at his words, eyes mirroring your desire.

“Really? But… you’ve fucked a lot yeah?”

He licks his scar, smirking then. “Yeah, fucked a lot. Never felt anything like ya cummin on my cock. Gets so tight…” He eases back, looking down your body, then he pauses a bit. “I go too rough doll?”

“No, when you started going harder I was ready. Just at first…” You look down too, shoving your thighs closed, blushing furiously. “Oh… I’m sorry…”

“Sorry for what, it’s natural.” He brushes your hair back softly. “Let me run to the bathroom, I’ll clean ya up.”

You just nod, laying your head back and the room is nearly spinning, as you stare up at your ceiling, still adorned with those glow and the dark stars from middle school. You try to calm your breathing down, as your cunt is aching, burning… and you struggle not to get that blood between your thighs on your bed.

He’s back quickly, shutting the door silently, and he wipes you between your thighs with a washcloth, as your legs close in embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me doll.” You have no choice, he’s got one hand on your face, forcing you too. “It’s just the first time. Don’t be embarrassed with me.”

You nod a bit, as he finishes cleaning you up, then cleans your tummy and waist carefully, kissing down where he does. He’s then back between your thighs, and you hiss as his tongue flicks up your slit again.

“Toji… what…”

“I hurt her a bit. Apologizing.” You giggle then, shaking your head, brushing his inky black hair back.

“You don’t have to. I liked it. A lot.”

He peeks up at you, planting a loud kiss on your pussy. “Let me and her talk, I wasn’t inviting you to our conversation.”

You roll your eyes with another laugh, that turns into a gasp, as he spreads your thighs, licking your sore lips, your swollen clit. “Toji… don’t have to…”

“I don’t have to do shit doll. Want to.” He’s watching you as he licks you, pressing on your tummy then, flicking his tongue so fast on your clit you can’t stand it. “Let me taste you on my mouth all night, doll, fuckin taste like candy ma.”

“Fuck you’re hot… damn it… Toji can’t cum again, t’much! Mmm!” He’s relentless with oddly gently flicks, hands cupping your breasts as he’s lapping you up, twisting your nipples an dpinching them. Your legs shake, and you grip your blankets in tight fists.

“One more time f’me. Got me drunk on this fuckin pussy, doll, don’t ya?” You have no clue what he really means, but when he moans on your clit, you do cum again, and he drinks you up. No other word, you hear him sucking it all up, leaving you weak, exhausted.

He kisses up your body, god you’re not even functioning anymore, until he’s caressing your face, not squeezing it like usual.

“Did it hurt, baby?” He’s oddly caring as he asks.

“Only at the start, then it was… good.” He laughs as he watches you turn bright pink. “It was better than good. Fucking amazing?”

“Good, I didn’t want it to hurt but…”

“You’re huge.”

“You’re tiny.”

You both say it at the same time, then you’re flushed again, as he runs a thumb down your lip, popping it between them for a moment.

“Don’t want you to regret it.” You blink back tears, shaking your head, cupping his face then, thumb running down his scar.

“No, Toji, not at all. I’m glad it was you. As stupid, wreckless, outright wrong as it all is, it felt really right.”

He gulps, kissing you again. “Makin me stupid with that cunt.”

“You make me stupid.”

“Yeah?” You nod, and then he sighs, looking at the clock. “Wish I could sleep next to…”

You both pause at that. You look up at him curiously.

“It’s just fun, yeah?” You ask softly, and he nods.

“Yeah, just fun. Teaching ya how to be a lil slut f’me.” You nod, but then when he kisses you again… “Wanna sleep with ya so I can fuck ya in your sleep.”

“Uh-huh, bet you do.” You tease him, and could swear you see his face redden just a bit, but it’s dark, right?

“Rest up doll, not going easy on ya again.” Your eyes widen.

“Easy on me!?”

“Yeah, not happening again.” He pops a kiss on your forehead, contradicting his words. “Gonna rail that perfect cunt so hard, wreck it for anyone.”

“Toji what the…”

He kisses you deeply, tongue sweeping your mouth, swirling around your tongue. “Love these pretty lips.”

“Toji…”

“Gotta go.” He leaves you, but he covers you first with a blanket, glaring as you look at him. “It’s cold in here.”

He turns and pulls up his sweats, carefully heading to your door. “Hey… Toji?” You whisper, and he turns, his usually cocky face disoriented. You pull your blanket up a  bit and sit. “Good… Night.” You can’t figure out what you wanted to say. Your brain is fried by his cock.

“Night, doll.” He heads out, and you suddenly feel alone, in your little room, and you still feel him, taste him, smell him, all over you.

Toji Fushiguro just took your virginity.

And next time he’s not going easy on you.

Your mind races because…

Maybe he has ruined you already.

Chapter 5

Ch on A03:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57496135/chapters/146903041

[sant-riley]

[Task force 141 + others with Gen z!reader] [pt3]

A/N: Some of these you /may/ have seen on tiktok, that is me who posted them on tiktok. I am green haired bitch so no I didn't steal anything LMAO. I hope these live up to yalls expectations.

The last two of these my lovely friend gave me inspiration for <3 @frogchiro

Warnings: She/her pronouns swearing, age gaps, tiktok memes (like always lmk if I miss something!)

~

You steal Prices hat on numerous occasions bc its a fashion abomination and you refuse to let this man wear it around you. You hide around base as frequently as you can.

Jokes on you though bc he will literally wait til it's your birthday and buy you a matching one and will laugh at your scream of disgust.

Gaz one ups him by gifting you a matching hat as well, putting it on your head as he flicks the brim.

"Thanks Gaz! I love it!

"And not mine?"

"You're on thin ice, old man."

Price gets gifted a set from manscaped by the guys as a gag gift. He uses it for his beard bc he never bothered to look into why everyone was laughing around him.

Price takes your phone when you try and show him memes, squinting hard as fuck like a dad 💀

Soap, if yall have the time off takes you to scottish football games and it's a whole thing. You sitting there while he gets drunk out of his fucking mind, hollering and whooping and you're there trying to sink into your seat.

Chances are someone's gonna shove you and you're gonna trip and fall bc everyone's so amped up and Soap threatens to beat the shit out of them. It's a miracle y'all don't get kicked out 💀

If you have tattoos, Soap is the first one to take a marker set and color them in and adding his own additions. If you were ever to get them actually tattooed, he would tear up and pretend he isn't emotional about it.

"You like me that much Bonnie?"

He would get something of you too, so it evens out. This also makes Ghost in turn get a tattoo for you bc he refuses to be out done and he's just as attached

Neither of them get your call sign or your name, but they get something personal to what each of them associate you with.

The first time you meet Alex, you're across the room doing something that has your focus and didn't realize this is actually your first time meeting him. You ask him for a hand only to look up and see him extend his prosthetic at you with a smile and you scream.

"You asked for a hand but best I can do is a Leg." Price comes running and he sees the scene and rolls his eyes.

Everyone single one of them are the definition of "my girl can wear whatever she wants bc I'll break your jaw." meme btw. You can take care of yourself but you never need to bc they will beat a bitch up.

Laswell invites you constantly to come over and meet with her wife, esp if you don't have a mother figure. She always always tries to come on base to see you and always has a birthday and Christmas present on it's way to you wherever you may be. Her wife loves you to death and they've pretty much adopted you and you cannot escape it, oh well.

Gaz buys you whatever your little heart desires, especially if he's deployed away in a country where they sell exclusives of whatever you enjoy. It's a pain in the fucking ass to try and ship a anime figure to your place from Japan but he's gonna try his best.

Ghost doesn't share his food, or at least it was before you came along. He groans and grumbles about having to feed you but he wouldn't do it if he truly didn't want to. Soap asks and Ghost tells him to fuck off.

If you watch anime, please imagine trying to get everyone in the room and trying to explain who Dabi is. They're all so fucking old they keep thinking you're referring to the elf from Harry Potter and it infuriates you to no end.

Soap and Gaz know better but it's funnier to see you mad.

Being the youngest, they absolutely force you to do the jobs they don't want to. Whether it be cleaning the barracks, to cooking dinner when able, it doesn't matter bc they'll all pull rank on you.

"You're the new kid, get to it then."

"Ghosttttt-"

"Don't Ghost me."

Soap is the kind of motherfucker to play the fifa games and doesn't understand that he's stupid for buying it every single year bc there are no changes oncesoever. He will not listen to you about it and you've given up.

Ghost will see you talk about your etsy list and will ask for your phone, you trust him so of course you hand it over. He hands it back to you and it's just, all purchased. He says nothing while he sips on his tea while you scream at him asking why he did it. He won't tell you but it's because he knows it makes you happy and it'll keep your mood up, giving you a reason to be motivated to get through missions. It's also because he knows that retail therapy is a thing for your generation.

Soap, if you do any, is actually really good at doing your makeup! He knows how to do everything and he refuses to elaborate. (As a kid he'd do his mom's makeup when she went out for dates) he's the one who helps you doll up if you're going undercover.

Ghost, Gaz and Price find you unfunny whenever you make a "wow I wish British people were real." You say it so often and it gets annoying but they also just accept it's a part of life.

Soap personally enjoys the "SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRRRR" meme and will scream it with you. Ghost threatens to cut yalls tongue out.

Other parts can be found under #Kayla writes <3

Taglist:

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess

@stupid-ninja @milkmily

@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii

@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel

@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains

@marsbar127xx @baddump

@xncasi @king-cookiex

@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager

@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom

If you'd like to be tagged, go to my pinned post and comment there :)

[cowboybeepboop]

The only one

“Kili, you can’t tell anyone about this.” “So it’s our dirty little secret then?”

Paring: Kili Durin x afab reader

Genre: romantic smut

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You’re Bilbo's adopted human daughter and he takes you along on the journey. Kili has his heart set on you and after getting involved in the fight he gets angry with you for putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

Warnings: public sex, arguing, jealous Kili, hickeys, p in v sex, hickeys??? Idk what else I always forget

a/n: I did not proofread and its lowkey a summary of the first movie? This is my first smut regarding anyone in the tolkien universe but I did write some sad fluff at some point lmao. Anyways, please like and send any requests if you want <3 tags go absolutely wild

You’ve been an adopted hobbit for the last 18 years of your life, Bilbo was always comforted in the known so when he brought you along with him and the dwarfs on their journey you were beyond surprised. Your presence was unexpected for everyone, except Gandalf of course, and most of the company was against your involvement. The dwarves saw you as frail and weak, the only one on your side was your dad, but of course he was.

Kili has kept an eye out for you since you joined the company, he makes sure you're safe and also just enjoys looking at you.

__________

When Elrond and his fellow elves come back the dwarves pull you and your father behind them and create a circle around you. You stay behind your Bilbo as the elves talk with Gandalf.

Upon your entrance to their dining room you look around with wonder, you sit down between Kili and your dad. “They're so beautiful,” you whisper to Bilbo, he nods with a gentle but awkward smile. Kili’s ears twitch as he looks around, his eyes narrow on an elf who has his eyes on you, he moves closer to you wrapping his arm around you.

“You think so?” Kili questions, his jaw clenching slightly, “I think us dwarves are better looking, stronger too.” he says pridefully, you chuckle in response.

“Is it a competition now?” you cock your head, “You’re very good looking too, Kili.” he smiles wide.

“Is that so? I am the best looking of all of the company, aside from Thorin of course.” you laugh, putting your hand on his arm.

“A bit full of yourself huh?” he shoves your shoulder gently in response. Kilis arms finds its way around your waist as he continues to glare at the elf who dared to look at you, who did he even think he was.

Gandalf, Bilbo, and Thorin wander off with Lord Elrond, leaving you with the dwarfs. You watch quietly, laughing with them and listening to their conversations before you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. Kili quietly sits next to you letting your head fall to his shoulder he smiles, covering you up with a blanket.

__________

After the company left the palace Thorin led everyone to the Misty Mountains, Kili keeps you in front of him. He insists that it’s better that way so if you fall he can catch you. As the rain picks up your feet slip under you, Kili and Fili grasp your arms quickly, pulling you back onto the ledge.

“Thank you,” you say softly as your eyes look over the ledge. Kili keeps a hold of your arm tightly as you all try to avoid the stone giant's blasts. The ground splits under your feet as the mountain takes shape as a giant, you grab onto the stone behind you before everyone begins to slide forward.

The stone giant slams into the mountain, throwing everyone off of it and onto the ground. Thorin yells for his nephews as the rest of the company runs over, Kili helps you up dusting your clothes off and checking to make sure you weren’t hurt anywhere.

After all the commotion everyone settles into the cave, Bilbo pulls you off to the side and quietly talks to you, he tells you about his plan to leave once everyone is asleep. “Why dad? What's wrong?” you whisper to him.

“Thorin is right, we never should've left home, I’ve put you in danger and I can’t let anything else happen to you.” he sighs as he runs his hand through your hair, “It’s okay, we’ll be fine.” he smiles reassuringly.

You both gather all of your stuff and sneak out, he leads you by the hand. He pulls you behind him as he talks with Bofur, you stay quiet looking around the cave. You didn’t really want to leave the company, I mean they were becoming your friends, you enjoyed the company.

“Y/N?” Kili mumbles as he looks up at you, he yawns. “Where are you going?” You crouch down putting your hand on his shoulder.

“Go back to sleep Kili, you need your rest,” you smile sweetly.

The floor splits and you slip down with everyone, Bilbo gets away but you are guided off with the dwarves. Your eyes fill with terror as you look around, you take a hold of Kilis hand squeezing tight as the goblins push you all around. You cower behind him, holding onto his shirt tightly.

Once you get out the dwarves all argue over where your dad went, your head drops as you think that your dad couldn't possibly have left you all alone. He reappears and you rush over to hug him, his hands drop to your waist as he smiles.

“Y/N!” Kili and Bilbo yell at you as you try to defend the dwarves with your small blade; it goes into the center of the wargs head, and Kili grabs you and pulls you up to the tree with him. His hand wrapping around your waist as he holds you close.

“Don’t move,” Kili’s voice is angry as he demands you to stay put. His hands dig into your slides as you look below your feet. Kili’s hands slip away as they start to throw the pinecones, the tree begins to fall, you grasp onto the trunk as tight as you can. His hands wrap around the tree, his eyes focused on you.

As Thorin and your father begin to fight the orcs, your eyes squeeze shut tightly, you try to focus on anything but the attack of Thorin. Kili pulls you up and onto the ground, insisting you stay put as they go to fight. You look forward, clutching the blade you retrieved from the corpse tight. As all of the commotion ensues you feel yourself being picked up by an eagle.

Once you all are in a safe place you watch as Gandalf helps heal Thorin. You stand next to your dad, holding onto his arm, as Thorin goes in for a hug you let go of him and move back. Your eyes wander to Kili who turns his head in order to avoid eye contact with you.

As the company moves forward you come across an area close to a river, Gandalf suggests that you all take a break and bathe. You and Kili were the last to go, you were paired up at the recommendation of Fili.

Kili guides you to the river, holding his weapon close to his chest, he’s been giving you the silent treatment after you got in between a fight. “You can bathe here, I’ll keep watch.” his voice stern.

“Kili..” your voice trails off as you look at his back, trying to pull his attention to you.

“Y/N, just take your bath. It’s getting dark.” Kili’s tone is extremely cold. You pout your lips as you begin pulling your clothing off slowly, once you finish you slip into the cold water.

“You can turn back now,” you say softly before you dip all the way under the water, holding your breath and squeezing your eyes shut. After a while you break the surface of the water sliding your hands over your face pulling the water back with your hair. Kili had turned around keeping his eyes on everything but you.

“Kili,” you wave him over, “come here, please.” you bite your lip as he gives you a bored expression.

“What is it?” he walks close to the bank of the river, his eyes scanning your face.

“Shouldn’t you join me? You're supposed to bathe as well,” he sighs, turning his back to you again.

“Fine, turn away.” he sets down his sword and strips quickly. You face the other way as he slips into the water with you.

“Kili, what is your problem?” you huff, spinning around with your arms crossed over your breasts.

“What do you mean?” his eyes are half closed as he looks at you with a slightly annoyed expression.

You move closer to him, “I mean, you’re acting so rude for no reason. You won’t look at me, you barely talk to me, you’re being so dumb” you glare at him, “So what is your problem?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“I don’t know maybe the fact that you threw yourself into harm's way? You could’ve gotten yourself killed,” he yells at you while running his hand through his hair.

“Calm down Kili,” you move close to him, putting your hand on his arm. “I didn’t expect you to get all worked up like this, I know I should have been more careful but I just wanted to help.” your eyebrows furrow as you look down.

His warm hands grasp your upper arms “You really worried me Y/N,” he presses his forehead against yours.

“You worried about me?” a sly smile paints itself on your lips, “does that mean you like me Kili?” your voice is soft and teasing. His ears turn a deep shade of crimson as he turns his head up.

“Y/N cut that out,” he puts his hand on the side of your neck, his eyes flick to your lips.

“Cut what out?” you wrap your arms around his neck pulling yourself close to him.

“You know what,” he clenches his jaw, your hands running down his back as you wrap your legs around his hips.

Kili pulls your face to his, hovering his lips over yours “Quit teasing me,” he whispers. Your hand snakes up to the back of his head, cradling it as you push your lips against his. His hands move to your waist, his fingers dig into your soft flesh as he hugs you tighter against him.

“Mahal,” he pulls away, pressing soft kisses down your face and onto your neck. You lean back letting his lips trail over your body, your nails scratch his scalp softly as you arch into him.

“Amrâlimê,” he whispers against your collarbone, “you’re driving me insane,” Kili groans. He grasps your face pulling you in for an intimate kiss, he’s getting more intense with his affections, his hands squeezing your hips roughly.

Your hand trails down his chest tracing every muscle on his stomach, he begins grinding against you while holding your hips against him. Pulling away from the kiss you gasp for air, leaning your head against his shoulder, you wrap your hands in his hair pulling it off to the side. Kissing his neck roughly you begin to leave soft marks on his flesh as he massages your ass.

“Y/N..” he mumbles into your ear, you moan softly as he picks you up, moving into shallow water. “Can we..?” his ears flush as he looks away, “I mean, would you mind?” you chuckle softly.

“Mhm,” you move your hips against his thigh, feeling him twitch underneath you. “But we’ll have to be quick..” you kiss his shoulder as his hands pull your hips up, he lines himself up with your hole, pushing the tip in.

“Let me know if it hurts,” he says gently, his hand finding its way to your neck grabbing ahold of it pulling your head back as you moan softly. He bucks his hips up into you, leaning forward you bury your face into his nape hugging him tight as you moan into his skin.

“My precious girl,” he groans as he slowly begins moving your hips up and down, his fingers digging into your soft skin, leaving red marks. You moan into his ear as you begin riding him, your arms wrap tight around his neck, eyebrows furrowing as you squeeze around his dick.

Kili cradles your head against him, holding you as close as he can, thrusting up into you pushing as deep as he can. Your head falls onto his shoulder, he moves a hand down to your sensitive clit, rubbing circles into it.

“I’m so close,” you moan, Kili nods in response.

“Me too,” he groans, his hands exploring every part of your body as he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

“Hey, Y/N, Kili, hurry it up.” Fili yells to you, causing the both of you to jolt up. Kili pushes himself into you as deep as he can. You bite your lip as you cum around him, your hole pulsing.

Your back arches, silent gasps leaving your open mouth as you ride out your high. Your whole body seems to tense up causing Kili to groan while he cums deep inside you. He pulls you off of him giving you a sweet kiss.

“Now we really need to clean up, and fast.” He says lowly, his hands creep up from behind you gasping your sides as he pulls you into deeper water to rinse off. You sigh contently as he holds your body close to his.

After quickly cleaning yourselves up; you both get out, drying off before putting your clothes back on.

“Kili, you can’t tell anyone about this.” you bite your lip as you turn to him, his eyebrows furrow. “Bilbo might actually get so mad he tries to kill you,” you giggle softly as his face relaxes.

“So it’s our dirty little secret then?” coming close to you he wraps his arms around your neck giving you a deep kiss. “But we will get to tell everyone later, right?” he pulls back, eyes scanning yours.

“Yes, Kili,” you kiss the tip of his nose, hands resting on his shoulders, “but let's wait it out for a bit, okay?” he smiles in response.

[hotchfiles]

This isn't a request or anything I'm just speaking into the void. Aaron and sitter!reader, they're out with Jack like... While they're in the process of figuring out their relationship, like it's Christmas time and they took him out to see Santa and someone(probably one of the elves) mistakes jack for reader and Aaron's son to Aaron after reader has picked jack up to give him a piggy back ride and started to walk away. Aaron doesn't have the heart to tell this random elf woman that, no, that is not my partner, and that is my son not theirs. He just says a quiet thank you and moves to catch up with reader. (I stole this scene from a scene in 911 between two or the MCs😇) ya I'm done now

it has been a while since the last time aaron felt so joyful over christmas. he tried his best always to stay at the top of his dad game for jack, but holidays were hard. haley always made it seem so easy, effortless, and now it was on him to bring that joy to jack and he had felt alone for quite some time trying to do that.

this time around he actually felt the joy himself, he felt warm. he couldn't help but smile as you and him opened the big boxes with the darth vader helmet + mask, a stormtrooper one, the lightsaber and blaster. in people passed by and you didn't seem to have a single care in the world as you helped jack put part of his darth vader costume on.

after renting one for halloween, his obsession with star wars skyrocket instead of going down, and when aaron decided to ask jack what he wanted for christmas and his boy answered with only darth vader with insane amounts of energy, he decided to just take him to the mall to get it instead of having him wait.

you, on the other hand, decided to buy yourself the stormtrooper set, because of course, jack would need company when playing. and now you were both wearing it and pretending to fight in the mall, laughter taking over the whole place as aaron's heart is filled with what he imagines the christmas spirit is made off.

some of the employees hired to play elfs actually stopped to watch, using it as an excuse to take a break and to marvel at how good some families seemed to have.

"you know, if one of my parents supported my interests like that, my teens would've been easier." one of them tells the other, thinking the chatter of the mall will conceal their confession.

"yeah, it's so cute, one of them is there looking so in love, the other is playing carelessly... lucky boy."

lucky boy. jack has had his big share of pain in his short life. but right now?

lucky boys indeed.

[nervoustoastthing]

MCGA headcannons (fluff and angst)

SOME BITS OF HEAVY ANGST AHEAD. READ WITH CAUTION.

•Blitz and Hearth go to renfairs (am I spelling that right?)

• Blitz is always a knight but Hearth just stays an elf

• Hearth is Blitz’s model

• Magnus is overstimulated most of the time

• He’ll usually resort to taking off his shirt because it makes him feel trapped

• He does have some body dysmorphia but he’s trying his best :]

• Alex loves to mess with Magnus’ hair

• It’s his favorite

• Sometimes she does have flashbacks to her dad but she’s working through it

• Magnus calls Sam Samsung when he’s bored

• Somedays Magnus doesn’t fight in the morning battles cause he’s tired/upset

• Alex always notices and tries his best to help

• Alex hates peas

• And when the mashed potatoes are too mushy (me projecting)

• T.J.’s favorite game is Elder Scrolls: Blades.

• He’ll talk for hours, just flapping his hands.

• Magnus likes to chew on things

• Fierrochase is the biting each other couple

• They commit random crimes and then go to a different world so the cops can’t chase them

• Hearth makes flower crowns for him and Blitzen

• Magnus will eat ice all day until Sam stops him

• Sam and Magnus are best friends and I will die on this hill

• When Magnus needs a parent for something he’ll always use blitzstone

• Alex tries to go to art school

• Magnus ends up selling famous poetry

• Alex’s art become pretty well known

• Blitzen gets to design clothes for famous people over the years

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

.

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

.

Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

.

The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

[joelslegalwhre]

Paddock Pass pt.3

One of max‘s love languages (at least in this fic) is physical touch, don‘t try to convince me otherwise. (I didn’t include the country/name of the gp by purpose, please don’t be confused haha) Sooo are you ready for some angst, some drama and a good time? Buckle up friends, it‘s gonna be a bumpy ride.

(You ever get distracted by Pedro Pascal tiktoks and spent an hour on your phone?…I‘m asking for a friend)

Thank you so much for the love on the first two parts! I‘m beyond grateful for every comment, reblog and like🩶

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader, dad!toto wolff x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: angst, fluff, toto being a bitch (or is he just a protective dad?), bad dad-daughter dynamics, unapproved relationship, cursing, insults, mutual pining turning into more, max has fallen head over heels, they act like an old married couple and don‘t even notice, kissing, light make out session at the end, not proofread

summary: After a horrible qualifying, Max manages to win the race. When he sees you afterwards, and looses all of his elf control. Which Toto doesn‘t welcome one bit. Oh what a simple kiss can do. But was it just that, a simple kiss?

Masterlist || taglist || part one || part two || part three

"Sorry but this is P15 Max, P15." his race engineer spoke through the radio, "Yeah, of course it is." Max answered annoyed. What should it have been? P1? Surely not, after his engine had started misfunctioning and in the end stopped working all together. He had the best lap time of them all, but with ten minutes left of q2, someone else would eventually drive faster than him. 

As he got out of the car, you could practically feel the bad mood he was in. Everyone who knew Max, could. And if it was you who just got out of your car, not being able to finish the qualifying that was looking so promising, you would've wanted to punch something. 

It was surprising you, how 'calm' he stayed. Max had temper, and you liked that, but sometimes it got a little out of hand - him kicking the car or not talking to anyone for hours -. Not this time, though. 

When he came back to the garage, his car still parked on the gravel, he took off his helmet, and walked straight to you. "You coming with me?" he asked, helmet in one hand, running the other through his slightly damp hair. "Yeah, of course." you nodded and got up from your seat. 

You followed him out of the garage, trying to keep up with his fast steps. He was practically running to the Red Bull facility. 

Max noticed your attempt to catch up to him, and slowed down, waiting for you. "Sorry." he said and continued walking, his steps still quick, but manageable. 

As Max and you were walking to the Red Bull facility, all eyes were glued on the two of you. Everyone eager to get a shot of Max.

You felt Max's fingers brush against your own, intertwining them with yours. It was his way of trying to stay calm, the warmth of your hand soothing him and helping him, not to do something he'd regret later. 

You felt your cheeks getting warm at the gesture. You loved when he did that. It was an indication of the trust that he had in you, like a security blanket. 

"Max?" you asked him, your voice quiet but still loud enough for him to hear you. "Hm?" You looked at him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "You'll win the race tomorrow, it doesn't matter where you start," you gave him a lopsided smile, "You always win." 

His want to kiss you almost got the better of him. All me managed to do instead was to brush his thumb over yours, holding your hand just a little tighter than before. 

"And that's the last corner before the straight!" the commentator almost screamed into the mic, "I can't believe he did that," he continued excitedly, "That's it! Max Verstappen wins the Grand Prix, starting from P15!" 

You shot up from your seat, throwing your hands in the air. "Yes! There you go!" you shouted as if he could hear you, the excitement overwhelming. The garage was going insane, everyone hugging each other, cheering. You were right in the middle of it all, and it felt like a fever dream. You told him he'd win, but it was a lot of hard work to actually cross the finish line as first. 

You let out a deep breath, smiling at the TV as you saw Max driving back to parc fermé. All the mechanics and the rest of the team got up to gather there. "C'mon!" one of the mechanics nudged your shoulder, smiling at you. You mirrored his expression, following them outside. 

Max was still wearing his helmet when he ran towards your group and jumped into the crowd of mechanics that were shouting, whistling and cheering. When he was back on the ground, he shook hands with Christian, and some others, before he noticed you.

You still had a smile plastered on your face, that said "I told you." and even though he had his helmet covering most of his face, you knew he was also beaming.

Max slung his arms around your frame, lifting your feet from the floor, as he pressed you against his suited chest. Your arms found their place around his neck, and you hugged him as close as you could, with the helmet between you. 

When you let go of each other, you grasped his arms, something you did when you were excited or nervous, he had noticed. "You did it!" you squeaked and slightly jumped up and down with his arms still firmly in your grip. "You. Did. It." your voice was so full of joy and excitement, but above all you were so immensely proud of him. 

"You told me to," he said with a grin in his voice, as he freed his arms from your grip just to hold them in his again, "I couldn't disappoint my best girl." 

Just as he pulled you into another quick hug, you hoped that he couldn't feel your heart beating faster than his car passed the finish line. 

„"You better not." you joked.

You watched him going back to weight himself with his gear, taking his helmet off and running a hand through his hair, as he did so often. But after he did that, and put his helmet to the side, turning around. "Sorry," he said to the lady trying to talk to him, miles away. "I forgot something…"

Max almost ran back to the fence, where all of you were standing. You gave him a confused look, silently asking him what he was doing. 

The moment he reached you, still standing at your spot in the front, it turned into a curious one. Every part of your body was shaking, not knowing what to expect. 

„Is everything al-„ 

Max shut you up the second his hands cupped your face and his lips crashed down on yours. 

The kiss wasn't soft, and it wasn't harsh either, but full of desperation and longing. Full of all the emotions both of you had suppressed over the last months. It was perfect. 

Feeling his lips touch yours was a feeling like no other, you felt safe, protected and loved. You felt so much love through it, and if his hands wouldn't still cup your face, holding you up, your knees might've just given in.

As you parted, Max leaned his forehead against yours. "More than alright, actually." he whispered. 

Max didn't want to leave you there, he wanted to take your hand and go somewhere more private. Somewhere he could finally tell you just how much he loved you, how badly he needed you. 

"And now our winner, Max Verstappen!" He took a deep breath before he got onto the podium, waving to the crowd. He heard people cheering and whistling, and when he looked down to where you were standing, he couldn't contain his smile. You were holding your hands on both sides of your mouth, cheering him on with a loud "Whooow!"

You saw him looking at you and shot him a big smile, holding both thumbs up. 

Max chuckled as he took his place in the middle. When the anthems were playing, all he could do was stare at you. 

But soon all the bliss was gone, when Max was back in the garage with the trophy sitting on one of the tables, both of you seemed to remember that you were in fact not alone when you had kissed. 

Max had his arms wrapped around your waist, while you drew shapes on his arm. "Are you angry?" he sounded concerned.

"No!" Your answer came out quicker than you could think, and Max immediately let out a relieved breath. "Max," you almost whispered, "I‘d do it again, if that's what you mean." You were afraid to look into his eyes, so you kept your gaze fixed on his arms, "I don't care who has seen it, if my Dad did. I mean he probably did, and," Max interrupted your rambling by placing his fingers under your chin, making you look at him, "Babe," there it was again, the one small word. But this time you noticed it.

"Look at me." he continued. Max's voice was soft and quiet as he caressed your chin. "Don't worry about him, okay? We're in this together, and we'll manage it just fine." 

You knew he was just as worried as you were, but the way he tried to calm you made you love him even more. Love. You loved him. Max Verstappen. The boy who you never thought of saying so much as a "hello" to, accepting to just live with the crush you had on him. 

Your hands found his neck, and you slowly pulled him towards you, "Okay." was all you whispered before connecting your lips a second time. This kiss was shorter, a peck on the lips almost, but it was just as perfect as the first one was. 

"You ready to go?" he asked against your lips. "Mhm."  you answered, but your voice didn‘t have the same tone to it. 

The moment you intertwined your hands with Max's, you could hear your name being called, or more precisely, shouted.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. "Here we go." 

Max gave your hand an encouraging squeeze.

"We got this." he kissed your hair and you both started walking towards the happening. 

Your Dad wasn't allowed to step foot into the Red Bull garage as someone from Mercedes, and there were already several securities keeping him from doing so.

Which didn't stop him from talking. 

"Du kommst jetzt mit." he told you to follow him. You knew his emotions were all over the place, when he started talking in his mother tongue. You could understand it most of the time, he raised you after all, but you rarely answered him in german. Since Max knew a good amount of german, he understood what he was saying. 

You didn't want to draw too much attention to the situation - clearly impossible - or start a fight right in front of them all, so you just dragged Max along with you as you followed Toto.

He seemed to know where he wanted to go, he was practically running. You just looked back at Max, giving him a look of "what the heck is this going to be". 

Max cared about you, more than you knew, more than he should be able to after just so little time. And if Toto just said so much as a wrong word or raised his voice, he could not hold back. The thought about what could follow for his work, long forgotten.

Toto stopped in his tracks so suddenly, that you almost ran into him.

"Are you done running now?" you asked him, already annoyed with how he was behaving.

"Oh I am, but trust me I'm not done with you, Fräulein."

You hated the word. He only ever used it when you were in trouble, and whenever someone called you it, you felt small. 

"Don't cal me that." you said coldly, "You know how much I hate it." 

"You know what I hate?" his voice sharp as he spoke, „When my daughter whores around with the opposite team. Like some Boxenluder?" 

Did he really just call you a pit babe? You could just scoff at him. It hurt that he seemed to think of you that way. 

„So that's what you think this is, Dad? Whoring around? Are you serious?" your voice didn't come out as strong as you wanted it to. 

"I took your pass and five minutes later you're hanging around his neck?" He almost spit the word 'him' out, as if it made him sick. "I really thought I raised you better than this, walking through the paddock sucking dick." 

Every word you wanted to say before that, got stuck in your throat at his words. What did he just say? 

"Dad, do you even hear yourself?" you whispered in disbelieve, and hurt. 

"Don't you dare talk to her like that." Max was on his last nerve now, and you could feel it. His whole body was under tension, and his hand was twitching towards yours. 

„Oh so you're going to tell me how I should do things now? Who do you think you are?" Toto mocked him. 

"Oh, I will if you don't stop acting the way you do." Max started, "Treating your own daughter like shit, just because she's not your clone," he let out a bitter laugh, "That's the lowest of the low." 

"Max," you whispered, looking up at him, taking his hand. But he couldn't let this go on. 

„If you don't like me, that's okay. It doesn't matter. But I swear to you, if you don't stop with this bullshit, treating her like she committed high treason, I'll find a way to get you kicked out of here." His voice was bitter, and you knew he meant every word.

"And trust me, I will." 

You've never heard him talking so coldly, threatening.

"Oh yeah right. Because the whole fucking paddock is yours," your hand tightened around Max's at the words leaving your Dad's mouth. "Dad." you said firmly. You hadn't raised your voice once since this started - much to Max's astonishment - but Toto didn't seem to care as long as you didn't shout it in his face. He wanted to say something else when you snapped, "Dad, dammit, listen to me for once!"

„I'm sick and tired of you acting the way you do! I can't change who I am, god I've said this so many times, I'm sorry that I'm not the kind of daughter you'd like to have." At this, you could see something in your Dad's facade start to break, but you didn't care anymore. 

"And you know what? I'm not at all sorry for being with Max. Believe it or not, but he has shown me more love in the past month, than I think you ever could." you felt the tears burning in your eyes again, but you could also feel Max's strong hand around yours, soothing you a little. 

"I'm a grown adult, Dad. So I would very much appreciate you coming to terms with the situation. And if you can't, I'm just sorry for you." 

Toto took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, you added, "I don't expect you to suddenly love Max or be okay with whatever your problem is. But if you love me just the slightest bit, just try to, Dad." 

Without anything further, you took Max's hand in yours, gaining a sour stare from Toto. And you couldn't care less. 

You left your Dad standing in the little corner between the motor homes.

"Are you okay?" Max asked with a worried tone. "No." you answered him quietly. 

Of course, you weren't, but Max wanted to make sure how you felt. He began caressing your hand with his thumb, while he was guiding you to the Red Bull motor home. 

He walked straight to his drivers room, knowing it would be quiet and private. "Hey Max, do you have a second?" Helmut waved at him. "Not now okay? Sorry." Max shot him an apologizing smile, but when Helmut's eyes wandered to you, he understood, giving the two of you an encouraging nod. You tried your best to smile at him, before Max led the way up to his drivers room. 

You've been in there several times, but this time, you were happier than ever for this small space of privacy. 

"Come here." Max  patted his lap. He had already sat down on the small couch on the other end of the room. You walked over to him and cuddled up in his lap. He was warm and his smell engulfed you. You took a deep breath. 

"Thank you."

Max looked down to where your head was resting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around you. "For what?" 

"For putting him in his place, for sticking up for me," you nuzzled your face deeper into him, "For being there for me, I guess." 

You could feel Max moving underneath you, and then you felt his lips on your hair. "I'd do it again, as many times as possible. I hope you know that." 

You looked up, still in his embrace. "I do." A small smile crept upon your lips. 

You looked into his eyes, and all you could see in them was honesty and, you dared to think, love. Your hand gently cupped his cheek, and you run your fingers over his stubble.

"Can you please just kiss me now?" you whispered to his lips, as Max could only stare at you. 

He wasted not a second, reuniting his lips with yours. 

The familiar feeling of his lips touching yours, almost made him groan into the kiss. 

He had watched you walk through the paddock for years. The thought that you'd never be wearing one of his team shirts stung with him, but he'd be happy to just talk to you. That's all he ever dreamt of, and now look where he was.

You parted your lips from his, just for a second, to swing your leg over his lap to straddle him. "You have no idea how long I've dreamed about this." Max said, his eyes taking you in while his fingers tucked a stand of hair back behind your ear. "Yeah? Then why are you still talking?" you teased him, but letting him know that you felt exactly the same when he silenced you with his lips. 

Getting to taste you as his tongue moved over the softness of your lips, he could've died happily right then. The sounds of content, mixed with small moans of pleasure filled the room as you deepened the kiss. Max hands had found their way to your waist to pull you even closer. You enjoyed every second of it, the way his tongue felt against yours and the overwhelming feeling of contentedness. 

Panting heavily, you were forced to pull back. Your foreheads still touching, eyes closed.

"I'll always be there for you, I promise." Max whispered against your lips. His hands cupped your waist, drawing little shapes with his thumbs. 

Your own hands were placed in his hair, gently caressing him.

You placed your lips back on his, a silent promise that you would, too, not leave his side.

🩶taglist: @emturtles @xcinnamongirl @starsanova @idkiwantchocolatee @moonlightts2 @topguncultleader @lpab @larastark3107 @sinfully-yoursss @alwaysclassyeagle @formulas-bitch @daddyslittlevillain

here‘s my kofi if you‘d like to leave a tip 🩷

[frizzle-mcshizzle]

the first 4 kotlc books summarized in the most unhinged way possible, because it’s been like 6 years since i’ve actually read them

Keeper: You’re an elf Sophie, you have to live with your new guardians who have a pet t. rex, have fun being an outcast at school, secret messages from your creators?!? actually you where dumb and went near fire and now your guardians don’t want you :(. oh no child kidnapping!! girls first time almost dying in elf land!! she gets to stay in elf land and gets adopted happy ending YAY!!!

Exile: girl finds a magic HORSE, girl goes to prison to vist a ✨psychopath✨ and make him go 🔥insane🔥 because that’s a job for a 12yo!?! oh no she accidentally causes a man to go insane from guilt (his children hate her now) oh no she’s allergic to MIRRORS, time to go on a field trip on your magic horse and meet a old man in a cave, oh no the bad guys attack!!!, SHE CAN TELEPORT?!?, fixes the man she broke though the power of happiness and 💕 love 💕 the last non cliffhanger of the entire series 

(12 year old girl attacked by 5000 year old man happens sometime in these two books)

Everblaze: time to fix the psychopath you made go insane, oh no, he committed arson and killed somebody important!!! ogre king puts the fun in funeral by announcing his intention to commit mass gnomeocide and the girl commits WAR CRIMES FOR THE FIRST TIME (she should have known better you can’t even blame this on lack of elf lessons), your best friend is tricked into to making a torture device just👏 for👏 you!! the council is making you wear it as a punishment!! your dead adoptive sister was killed by her fiancé!?!, oh no your new dad is trying to kill him, you 🔥destroy🔥your torture device and plan to join a rebel organization, you are 13 years old, this is the start of the series cliffhangers 

Neverseen: children join rebel organization by following a old man through paris, ✨surprise✨ a mother stowed away with them (she knocks the man on his ass), boys fight over girl and end up being forced to basically kiss through their magic breathing tube for a unknown amount of time, T R E E H O U S E S!!!!, children meet the leaders (that they definitely don’t already know under different names), 🦄ALICORN SEX SCENE!!!🦄 the rebel leaders take the kids on a field trip! (it’s a prison brake), OH NO!! one of the hot boys™️ get stabbed by B U G, family puke party while he gets better, the children go to prison school for the man who they failed to prison brake!! Girl set herself on 🔥FIRE🔥 (don’t tell her parents), they meet twins!! one was bansihed for property damage and not because there’s society has no ability to teach overpowered middle schoolers hot boys™️ big brother comes to visit!! they go on ANOTHER field trip and this time Commit MORE WAR CRIMES, oh no!!! the big brother is actually evil!! oh no!! Tree lady activates tree power to save the other tree people!! 

part two

[shakesthewizard]

Now I want to know some of your polycule dynamic ideas for the bad kids???

This is a dream come true, okay walk with me

Let's start out with a couple of what I would consider fundamental pairings. In most any configuration of the group you can think of, most if not all of these are gonna be necessary for me to really get invested.

Fabriz. Duh. Need I say more.

Fabadaine. It's my fucking roman empire and I WILL go on about it for another thousand words if you ask

Figadaine. Support women's wrongs! Going shopping! My girlfriend is a rockstar and we make out backstage! My girlfriend is the elven oracle and we make out twice because she has a vision of it happening first!

I've also got some pairings that are nice on their own, but that I don't find like, mandatory if you're gonna sell me on something.

GorgugxFig. She's so loudly angry to hide her fear; he's so quietly scared of his own anger. She made him join her band and he's probably the better musician. They're so nice to each other.

FigxKristen. Fall into temptation. Make out with the devil on your shoulder. She helps you kill your god. She becomes your devoted paladin. The ArchDevil of Rebellion pulls you into a cosmic war against the very divinity you were the Chosen One for.

Now as for larger groupings, things get pretty fun. There are so many to choose from. Like for example:

The Bad Boys. Like as a throuple. Think about it. You're the cool son of a famous pirate; you're already kicking ass at bloodrush; youre hot shit. A metalhead and a briefcase kid latch onto you like barnacles. This is so embarassing. Cut to a month later and you're all on a rooftop sharing a cigarette and looking at the stars. The briefcase kid kisses you, and metalhead is next in line. Briefcase kid is also your best friend, even without the insane new tension and the fact that he can dismantle your coolguy persona with seemingly no effort. He tastes like burnt coffee. Even ignoring how metalhead can crack skulls, but treats you with gentleness and even hesitation, like he's afraid you'll turn him down. As if. His bangs get in the way when he kisses you.

The Bad Girls as a throuple. This one feels almost too obvious for words. Three girls who are all trying so hard and failing to be normal, but from three different directions. Imagine one day seeing the uptight wizard girl with rich parents and girl who tried to convert you to fantasy mormonism on her first day both walk into school one day holding hands with that punk girl who's in a band and who has already turned like six other students gay just by being cool and pretty. Then at lunch, they're all sitting together, and the elf and the cleric both have the bard's lipstick on their lips and cheeks. The cleric looks at you. She winks. You go home confused.

Figaydadaine. Figayda I don't have to sell you on, but you can't tell me Ayda and Adaine aren't so fucking cute together it hurts. They make spells for each other! Adaine has the key to the Wizard's Synod! Adaine killed her dad with Ayda's spell. Come ON, this shit writes itself. Honestly Aydaine is so good by itself

There's also an extended world of qpr among the bad kids - Rizdaine would be a great example of this. I don't think of them as a Couple, but they are SO close and there's so much trust and intimacy there. That's a pair that cuddle while watching movies or doing mystery stuff.

qpr FigGug is another great possibility. Just take all the sweet support and kindness they already have and pry out the romance.

I think if you pitched me another pair/group I could find something interesting about it, but those are my off-the-dome thoughts. Thanks for asking!

[jetskisonyourmoat]

An old interview from 2007 ☺️

[credit to Twitter user who took photos of the interview]

Transcript:

Coldplay in scarves and woolly mittens. The Libertines as Dickensian street urchins, and REM's Michael Stipe as um, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. The NME Christmas cover has an illustrious tradition of rock stars arsing around in their best dressing up clobber for a day Some need gentle coaxing, some need a raft of costume. based ideas sent over by our art team before theyll commit. Others, like this year's Christmas cover stars Arctic Monkeys, have planned the concept and hired the outfits even before our tentative email request has had time to settle in their manager's inbox. "We want to be evil elves," came the return message moments later. "Not naughty elves, not mischievous elves. EVIL ELVES.” Which is why, one Wednesday afternoon in late November, we find ourselves at a north London photo studio strapping dynamite sticks to reindeers, impaling others with giant shards of metal, hiding a bomb in a snowman's hat and handing Arctic Monkeys bassist Nick O'Malley a mallet and then standing back as he sends carefully wrapped gifts shattering across the room. Of course, there were the annual set of complications in trying to co-ordinate a photoshoot of this magnitude: Alex Turner requesting the ‘smacked-up elf’ look from the make up artist, but looking more like a cherubic waif with every ring of dark eyeshadow applied, Nick shunning the hired-in pixie boots in favour of his own toe-curling pointers ("from Prada, thank you very much") and a minor tussle over which band member was going to get their ears stuck on first. That and the endless flutes of champagne threatening to sabotage the interview scheduled for straight after the shoot (“I feel very light headed and unsteady on my feet, NME," says Alex, wobbling).

Eventually we manage to steer them to a corner of the room where a Dictaphone awaits. By this time Nick, Matt Helders and Jamie Cook's costumes are on coat hangers and they're back in civvies. Only Alex has opted to stay as an elf, at least as long as the interview lasts. It's a heated hour that will see them debate the big topics of the year, consider their own personal highlights (Nick. "Glastonbury. NME: And your defining Glasto 2007 moment? Nick "Er, headlining the fucker") and lowlights (Mike Reid RIP). Before all that though, there's the small matter of destroying Christmas 2007 for everyone. Your favourite worst nightmare before the festive season is about to be unleashed.

NME: Hello, Nice costumes.

Alex Turner: "Thanks. You might say we dress up too much, But really, what is too much? It's good to escape your own face for an hour.

Matt Helders: "It's easier to hide behind a costume, isn't it? I felt in good spirits up there though - I’m not sure I was really feeling evil enough.

So what's Arctic Monkeys squad of evil elves manifesto for ruining Christmas?

Jamie Cook: "Go out on Christmas Eve.

Alex: "I heard a terrible story about a friend who went out on Christmas Eve once. This lad got hammered and, you know when you're hungover and, like, your thoughts and your mouth aren't connected properly? Well, he was eating his Christmas dinner and his nan were wittering on as your nan does, and he thought to himself. Oh, shut up Nan, you cunt. Then he looked up and everyone was looking at him and his dad went. I think you'd better just take your dinner upstairs and eat in your bedroom. He’d said it out loud (The table collapses in laughter).

Matt: "His nan was a cunt, though."

Alex: "So there's a way to wreck Christmas - call your nan a cunt. Actually. you should leave that out cos my nan buys NME more than my mum. My nan files her NMEs!

Matt: "So our real answer would be... I dunno, burn everyone's house down.

Alex: "Or, you know those Santa’s that come on a truck to estates and all the kids come to see them? Maybe you could hijack one of them as another Santa then rip your beard off

Matt: "....and punch the kids. Or the dad. There's nothing worse than beating kids dads up in front of the kids!"

Alex: "(Nodding) Nothing worse.

Moving on. What does a traditional Christmas entail round at Alex Turner, the only child's, house?

Alex: "Quality Street. That's the only tradition around mine. Other than that, just looking at the phone thinking. Can I ring them (points at other Monkeys) on Christmas Day or is that out of order?'

Matt: "Yeah. it is. (Holding hands up to each ear to mimick a two-way phone conversation between Alex and himself 'Do you wanna come round?' 'Al, it's Christmas Day. My nan's here.' 'Yeah. but I'm just sat here at home...' "

Alex: "We've been discussing how there's nothing to do on Christmas Day and maybe having some kind of party this year. Fancy dress, obviously. We were talking about having some sort of Ultimate Warrior party."

Matt: "Wrestlers weren't it?"

Alex: "Ah yes, wrestlers."

What are you doing for New Year's Eve?

Matt: "Last year was crap. I DJed in Sheffield at midnight. The first song everyone in that room heard going into 2007 was 'Boom! Shake The Room, which was a good feeling"

Alex: "That's something to be proud of. This year we've got nothing planned. We all go out together though; we were at that club."

Matt: "It rarely works, New Year's Eve. It's always such a fucking build-up."

Alex: Everyone's like, '(Whining voice) What are we doing now?' And then it fucking snows, doesn't it?"

Um, not where I'm from...

Alex: "It always snows round where we are"

Jamie: "It's not snow, it's sleet."

Alex: "I remember walking home last year in it and no taxis stopping for us."

Jamie: "Yeah, 'Im not taking you to High Green, mate."

Nick O'Malley: "I booked a hotel last year in Sheffield city centre and just stayed there."

Alex: 'Maybe well stay in this year. See Jools' Hootenanny and that."

What New Year's resolutions are you going to make?

Alex: "I want to learn how to cook food. I want to do a good curry."

Nick: "I want to get to a level of fitness synonymous with that of a boxer - just so I don't get out of breath walking up the stairs"

Jamie: "I want to grow a beard. I’m not shaving after today."

Alex: "Otherwise I'm allowed to punch him in the nose."

Matt: "I want to learn to do a back somersault and a front somersault."

Jamie: "Oh, and be able to dive into shallow water from a height and not hurt yourself."

Alex: "Yeah, flips, juggling. unicycling. I think were all always looking for improvement in our overall balance."

The coming year dealt with, it's time to turn the clock back and get Arctic Monkeys' take on the headlines that shook 2007. For this, Alex takes a more noticeably back-seat role in the conversation especially when the spectre of political allegiance rears its head and he actually goes completely mute. According to his press officer afterwards, having seen Arctic Monkeys branded Gordon Brown's favourite new band before he became Prime Minister, Alex is reluctant to say anything that any of the political parties could use to their advantage. From here on in then, Nick'n'Matt take over from Aln'Matt as the comedy double act. Meanwhile, Jamie will reserve his sole contribution to the conversation for an animated outburst about social networking sites in the workplace.

This Christmas marks the one-year anniversary of James Brown's death. Did he mean much to Arctic Monkeys?

Nick: "Yeah, we were big fans of James Brown."

Alex: "The first ever gig we did, we walked onstage to 'The Payback. And at college I had a pair of jeans I'd written on in red marker ‘I've got soul and I'm super bad!

Jamie: "He did as well."

Nick: "It was one of those things when you heard, you didn't want to believe it. A bit like Steve Irwin."

Alex: "Or Mike Reid. (Genuinely moved) Mike Reid, that really hit me that."

Nick: 'I don't think there was a big enough fuss about that as there should have been."

Matt: "I tell you when Ill be dead upset- and I don't really want to say it cos he's not dead yet, but I might as well get it all out -and that's when Bruce Forsyth dies."

Alex: "(Gravely) Ah, Forsyth."

Matt: "Cos I know I'm going to see it.. all being well my end."

Nick: "Touch wood."

Alex: "Cover the holes!"

Nick: "(To NME] Do you know where that expression comes from?"

Alex: "Apparently there's these little people who live in the wood. Like these little fairies that bring things that you say to life. So you cover the holes so they can't get out... Yeah, Mike Reid. I remember reading about that in the airport.

Then there was the Celebrity Big Brother race row early in the year. Did you watch any of it?

Nick: "We made a point of watching that. We wanted to watch where what's-her-name got kicked out. That said it all, and they didn't have any crowd there"

Alex: "Oh, Jade."

Jamie: "I thought Jade Goody and the one that was getting abused by her.

Matt: "Shilpa Shetty."

Jamie: "That's right. I thought they both played it bad."

Alex: "Jo from S Club 7 can fuck off I’d send her to jail Why? I just don’t like her; I think she came across horrible."

Nick: (Changing tact) “I texted one of those numbers to find out about touch wood (Reaches for beeping phone and starts reading) Touch wood is said to come from a mid-18th century story in which children being chased who touched wood were said, to be immune from being caught"

Matt: "I don't believe that. This has been wrong once before and thats when texted, to ask who's headlining Glastonbury and it said Eric Clapton. (Pumping chest out defiantly) It weren't - it were us!"

Of course the biggest music story of the first half of the year was Keith Richard revealing he'd snorted his father…

Jamie: "(Laughing) His ashes weren’t it?

Yep. What's the weirdest thing you've ever snorted?

Matt: "An eraser. That's not true actually I've witnessed it but never done it I wish I had. I didn't live enough at school”

What did you think of Keith's revelations?

Matt: "I think it was shortly after he said we were shit. He said something like the ["Load of cunts. load of cunts. Posers, rubbish was how Keef actually described the Monkeys, alongside Bloc Party and The Libertines in the same NME interview.

Keith said he didn't like The Libertines who reformed for one night only in April, with Carl Barât joining Pete Doherty onstage at London's Hackney Empire. Did you care?

Alex: "Yeah, I was interested in that. It was a 'should've been there moment, I imagine.”

Matt: "I’d have liked to have seen that.”

Nick: "They're one of the bands that a very young us were really into."

Would you like them to get back together permanently?

Alex: "(With just enough sarcasm) The greatest hits album were enough for me”

Jamie: "They didn't sling it out though did they? It was the label."

Nick: "I read something where Pete was saying he didn't even know it had come out.”

What about the new Babyshambles album? Were you fans of that?

Nick: "I’ve only heard a few songs, but the were good tracks."

Alex: "I liked it and I liked him on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.”

Nick: "He seemed like a nice gentleman"

Alex: "I met him once. I was at this party in this club this time last year when we were recording, and someone who I’d never met said Oi! Come here and led me through this door and there was a studio and in this studio he was stood there with his top off."

Nick: "Topless?!"

Alex: "It were surreal. For a start there's a studio in a club, then there’s Pete Doherty and then he's got his top off he’s taller than you’d think.”

Matt: "I remember meeting him, as a fan actually, at a Strokes gig at Alexandra Palace I had my picture took with him and that’s when I realised he were tall."

In May, offices and schools across the UK began blocking students from using Facebook.

Alex: "I’ve never even been on Facebook"

Jamie: "(Antagonised) You know what? That’s fair enough if they should be workin’ or learning, not making take friends"

Matt: "What's the difference between…”

Jamie: "(Raising voice) No, but fair enough! You're fucking working!"

Matt: "Um, what's the difference between Facebook and MySpace?”

Please tell me one of the Arctic Monkeys knows what Facebook or MySpace are...

Alex: "I've never looked on them."

Jamie: "I haven't."

Matt: “I know what MySpace looks like, cos other people have shown me theirs, but none of us have actually got one.”

Are there any sites you do frequent?

Matt: "I don't mind The Hype Machine. I go on to search for remixes before they get heard properly."

Nick: "I got really into Wikipedia at one point. I read loads of things about joe Meek and Shack"

Alex: "He’ll read all these facts then casually throw them into conversation the next day."

Matt: "Askjolene.com is the biggest adult search engine in the world.. Just throwing that in there"

Gordon Brown - a big fan of yours, apparently - took over from Tony Blair this summer as Britain's 51st Prime Minister. How's he done so far?

Nick: "I've not really noticed any changes."

Matt: "It's neutral for me."

Who will you be voting for next time?

Matt: "I need to start evaluating, reading all their manifestos."

Nick: "I’ll Wikipedia them all and make a decision that way.”

The UK smoking ban kicked in on July 1. Has it bothered you?

Matt: "Nick's the only one of us that smokes."

Nick: "Oi, my mum reads this!"

Matt: "(Back-tracking hastily) Like I said, Nick doesn't even smoke."

Nick: "I agree with it, even though 1 do smoke. I think it's a good thing."

Alex: "You get weird smells now, I reckon."

Matt: "We were reading about that place where they give out free deodorant because you smell people more now in bars."

Nick: "It's a good way to meet new people outside I've found. And it someone's getting on your nerves you can just say. 'Right, Im going outside for a cigarette."

Alex: "I think it will become less strict in a few years. 'Cos like in New York they've had it a bit longer and they turn a blind eye to it some places there now.”

In August we had another music legend pass away; Tony Wilson.

Alex: "That were a right shock. I'm not a huge fan of the Manchester music scene. but enough for his death to mean a lot."

Nick: "I always imagine him as Alan Partridge, y know! Well, Steve Coogan in 24 Hour Party People. That's where I first got to know of Tony Wilson."

Alex: "(Looking glum) What happened in September, NME?"

You can have the Diana death inquest or Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize.

Alex: "Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize."

Matt: "You could say Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize if you want, or you could say us losing the Mercury Prize"

How did you feel about that?

Matt: "It were alright. It were a bit of a dent on my life."

Nick: "Well done, Klaxons. I wanted Dizzee Rascal to win it."

Matt: "'Yeah, Maths + English'"

Nick: "I thought it was Winehouse's though."

Alex: "But then I think Klaxons' album is more of an album than Amy Winehouse's album. Like, Amy Winehouse's album had some good tunes an' that. But I think as a thing, you can't really argue with Klaxons."

What did you think about Radiohead shocking the music industry with the way they released In Rainbows' this autumn?

Alex: "We heard Radiohead's riveting radio broadcast on the way home last night."

Matt: "I nearly fell asleep at the wheel!"

Alex: "I were nudging him! 'Keep your eyes on the road!"

Nick: "I think it was quite a clever idea for them. I think it works well for them cos their fans are the type of fans who’d probably really be into that concept."

Is it something you'd ever do?

Alex: "Nah."

Matt: "That'll be memorable 'cos they'd gone out of their way to do something different, but I don't think we need to. Obviously they don't need to either. They can afford to do stuff like that."

Alex: "They've done it now. You only need to do an experiment like that once. I don't feel like it was designed to change anything"

Matt: "They said themselves, 'It's not a template' See! I was listening last night."

Then at the end of the year, Led Zeppelin finally played their long-awaited reunion show in London. Did you apply for tickets?

Matt: "Nope. I would have gone if late Led Zep drummer] John Bonham was still alive."

Nick: "Oh, Matt."

Matt: "I'm not that bothered by them. It's not that big a deal."

Jamie: "Nah, it really is! (Laughing) Thats why a lot of people are going."

Nick: "I had a phase of being a big Zep fan. I remember I had a perlod of about six months thinking they were the bee's bollocks."

Which brings us right up to the end of the year. What great truths have Arctic Monkeys learned in 2007?

Nick: "We learned that we're really into finding out where expressions came from. So we learned where 'fill your boots' came from - it's where old, er-”

Matt: "Cavaliers."

Nick: "Yes, Cavaliers!"

Matt: "They'd get their place at the bar and once they were there they wouldn't want to lose it, so they'd piss straight into their boots so they could carry on drinking. They had big boots on, like. That's it. There's our great truths.”

Or are they? Can we trust anything that comes out of the mouths of Satan's Little Helpers? Perhaps it's all just an evil plot to make us urinate on our own footwear this Christmas. Or go on festive arson rampages. Or cause expletive-induced coronaries in the elderly. Whatever, Arctic Monkeys certainly wish you all a very scary a Christmas.

[neverchecking]

Hi I am 🪷 Aron from couldninetonine

And I have a request for you if it ok.

Can I request yandere platonic sage , sky, time, warrior, four x child zoni reader.

Like the reader is rauru and queen Soni little baby half breed daughter. Half elf and half zoni. And they found her in her little bubble pod that a flower a lotus. And how they fell for her big doe eyes and big ears. And teaching her the ways and have her call them papa's and how they keep her safe. Please and thank you

omg hi! I love cloudninetonine! It is totally okay to request!

I haven't done a lot of platonic yandere, but this seems fun!

Imagine them calling the boys their papa bc her real dad is dead lmao-

・❥・@lovanmari and @wayfayrr I got some DILF Sage for yall

・❥・Sage as a dad. First off-- who in their right mind is trusting him with a kid?

・❥・Nah, I kid, I kid. When he's given a child, one so small and innocent and one that he connects with? It burns something within him.

・❥・He was a child soldier (I think canonically BOTW Link was in the army by age twelve?), and when he sees this small child who's relying on him? He swears they'd have a better life than he ever had.

・❥・He absolutely refuses to let his child anywhere near anything sharp, too hot, too cold, explosive, etc.. If there's any chance at injury, his flower bud isn't going anywhere near it.

・❥・You know that his kid is eating like royalty. Every single day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And dessert. And you know that dessert is the best damned thing in the world.

・❥・Sage as a dad is probably just as unhinged, but in more protective way? Lynel look in their direction? Here kid, look at this butterfly, Papa will be right back- He's back within three minutes tops and look! He's got the fur for a new blanket for you!

・❥・Cece tries pinching your cheeks? He's glaring down at her, daring her to try.

・❥・Someone tries offering you a treat because your just so adorable? He knows his kid is cute, nice try. Nothing is getting past him. He's a bit of a helicopter parent.

・❥・Not a bit. It's a lot.

・❥・He loves playing with your big ears, ones that you'll grow into, flopping them about even as you get red-cheeked and angry at him.

・❥・He'll make it up to you eventually :)

・❥・He also spoils you absolutely rotten. He has his rules, yes, and expects you to follow them, but his rewards are things like trips to the Zora Domain or a sand seal ride in Gerudo. Never Eldin. Are you kidding that's an active volcano site?!?!

・❥・The sages are one-thousand percent your personal body guards. You don't go anywhere without your dad and at least one sage.

・❥・Sky is absolutely smitten from the start.

・❥・You look at this man and tell me he's not dad shaped. You can't.

・❥・He doesn't even care to learn what a Zonai is. All he knows is there are none here and your all alone and your his now. He doesn't make the rules

・❥・He is also another protective dad, but he's a little more willing to let you experience the world around you. You wanna see those flowers over there? He's following! You wanna go for a dip in the river? Great idea, he's helping you! You can go explore, but never alone.

・❥・He absolutely introduces you to Crimson right away. Crimson is the perfect co-parent guardian. Crimson is always pulling you into her side, ruffling her feathers and grooming you.

・❥・Like you become Sky's kid and Crimson's chick. They are two halves of a whole soul so it makes sense.

・❥・HFHFDOFDHN imagine sleeping on Crimson's back while Sky leads the two of you through a forest or sum ;^;

・❥・Or soaring through the sky with you pointing at every cloud you pass and Sky harnessing you to his chest while Crimson flies much slower than normal.

・❥・Sky can cook basic things, but he definitely spends more time with village moms and elders learning more.

・❥・He for sure carves toys for you out of wood. Like trains or maybe a doll of Crimson.

・❥・You get the fluffiest blankets stuffed with Loftwing feathers

・❥・Groose is such a good uncle-sidebar. Even if Sky isn't...jazzed about letting you out of his sight, he will trust Groose. For an hour.

・❥・Which he is within earshot of for fifty seven minutes.

・❥・He's kind of torn between letting you be with Zelda-- who adores you-- and not. she's the reincarnate of Hylia. What if you get dragging into the wretched reincarnation curse as well?

・❥・He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy let alone his fletchling.

・❥・Fi for sure has a beacon on you at all times.

・❥・He's more...withdrawn when it comes to first meeting you

・❥・Afterall he's in a war.

・❥・but...so are you. And you are so much younger than he is.

・❥・and what self-respecting parent would let their child wander so far? None that deserve their child.

・❥・So you become his. He doesn't do take backsies.

・❥・When you stutter out that your old, irrelevant, unworthy father was a Zonai, he does take that with some caution.

・❥・But no one even knows what a Zonai is. Ravio has a general idea-- a race blessed by the gods-- but thats as far as he gets.

・❥・That's okay. You were his now and he didn't care what you were. You were perfect just the way you are <3

・❥・Wars as a dad is probably pretty strict. But he lets you out of his sight more than the previous two.

・❥・You get schooled and have friends, but are expected home right away.

・❥・He doesn't like your friends. Not a chance. But because he's such a public figure he needs to give you a semi normal life.

・❥・Which means those dumb friends and parent interventions and schooling and hours away when you could be spending time with him!?

・❥・He probably sneaks you out of school often to go for treats at a bakery or a swim in a river. What are they gonna do, tell the Hero no?!

・❥・Artemis loves you. He trusts her with you while he's dragged away for things he cannot control. She has the power of Sheik on her side and proved her worth to him in battle.

・❥・You definitely have a fairy on you at all times which reports back to him.

・❥・Fours is so fun for one reason and one reason alone.

・❥・the minish.

・❥・They probably are the ones to alert him about your presence, giving their small knowledge of the Zonai race.

・❥・They chirp and chitter at him until he brings you back to the home he shares with his grandpa (Uncle? It's one of the two). The older male was out at the moment leaving Four to figure out what he's going to do with you.

・❥・Obviously he keeps you. No one else can handle such a task! You're so delicate and so rare and the minish already love you.

・❥・So your his. no ifs ands or buts.

・❥・The forge? Off Limits.

・❥・It's too hot with too many sharp pointy things and open flames and its dirty.

・❥・Not for his kid.

・❥・When it comes to cooking, he can do it, but like sky, he's not overly good.

・❥・but! You guys can learn together. Under his strict supervision. Where you sit at the counter. Away from the fires and knives. It's a bonding experience.

・❥・Back to the minish, they love you. They love playing with you and calling your attention away while your dad deals with someone whose watching you a little too closely.

・❥・They leave small trinkets for you all the time! Which four keeps in a box. Because you could choke.

・❥・He's also another one to make your toys! Little metal horses and wooden doll houses.

・❥・If he needs to run out for a few errands or something, he's not leaving you with anyone. Oh no not his kid. No, he's splitting. Two stay with you, three depending on the errand, while the other runs out.

・❥・You aren't allowed the Four sword. Ever.

・❥・He would never wish that upon you. Even if you love the colors and it helps you differentiate between green and red and blue and Violet.

・❥・Thats probably how you learn some of your colors in fact.

・❥・Even as you grow up, you cannot get away with anything. The minish are snitches and it would do you good to learn that. And fast.

[v-a-l]

What's your top 10 Harry Potter favorite characters and favorite book?

ten is too many I think XD. I like Sirius, I suppose that's a given, Harry, Ron and Hermione. I adore Moody and McGonagall, Luna, Neville, James even though we don't really get much of him in canon. I'm attached to the universe, I grew up with it, and whilst I imprinted largely on Sirius, I do have significant fondness for most of the characters.

Favourite book, hmmm. Probably Goblet of Fire. I think PoA is lovely for how much we learn about Harry and where he comes from, and OOTP is great for learning about the first war, and Deathly Hallows is great for the resistance movement that exists beyond Harry and the one man war he's been fighting since book one, but I've always had a fondness for Goblet of Fire and the way the stakes are raised and the characters we are introduced to, I loved learning about Crouch and side characters like Bertha Jorkins who though briefly mentioned, add so much colour to the narrative. I love the conversation in the cave,

“How d’you know?” Hermione shot back. “How d’you know where he Disapparated to?” “Come off it,” said Ron incredulously. “Are you saying you reckon Ludo Bagman conjured the Dark Mark?” “It’s more likely he did it than Winky,” said Hermione stubbornly. “Told you,” said Ron, looking meaningfully at Sirius, “told you she’s obsessed with house —” But Sirius held up a hand to silence Ron. “When the Dark Mark had been conjured, and the elf had been discovered holding Harry’s wand, what did Crouch do?” “Went to look in the bushes,” said Harry, “but there wasn’t anyone else there.” “Of course,” Sirius muttered, pacing up and down, “of course, he’d want to pin it on anyone but his own elf … and then he sacked her?” “Yes,” said Hermione in a heated voice, “he sacked her, just because she hadn’t stayed in her tent and let herself get trampled —” “Hermione, will you give it a rest with the elf!” said Ron. Sirius shook his head and said, “She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron. If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

Chef's kiss.

“He was tipped for the next Minister of Magic,” said Sirius. “He’s a great wizard, Barty Crouch, powerfully magical — and power-hungry. Oh never a Voldemort supporter,” he said, reading the look on Harry’s face. “No, Barty Crouch was always very outspoken against the Dark Side. But then a lot of people who were against the Dark Side … well, you wouldn’t understand … you’re too young. …” “That’s what my dad said at the World Cup,” said Ron, with a trace of irritation in his voice. “Try us, why don’t you?” A grin flashed across Sirius’s thin face. “All right, I’ll try you. …” He walked once up the cave, back again, and then said, “Imagine that Voldemort’s powerful now. You don’t know who his supporters are, you don’t know who’s working for him and who isn’t; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You’re scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing … the Ministry of Magic’s in disarray, they don’t know what to do, they’re trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere … panic … confusion … that’s how it used to be. “Well, times like that bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. Crouch’s principles might’ve been good in the beginning — I wouldn’t know. He rose quickly through the Ministry, and he started ordering very harsh measures against Voldemort’s supporters. The Aurors were given new powers — powers to kill rather than capture, for instance. And I wasn’t the only one who was handed straight to the dementors without trial. Crouch fought violence with violence, and authorized the use of the Unforgivable Curses against suspects. I would say he became as ruthless and cruel as many on the Dark Side. He had his supporters, mind you — plenty of people thought he was going about things the right way, and there were a lot of witches and wizards clamoring for him to take over as Minister of Magic.

We learn so much about Sirius in this one conversation. How strong his morals were, how he definitely did not believe in a binary world where you're either evil and deserve extreme punitive measures or you're good. Here is a Sirius Black who vocally disagrees with the use of Unforgivables against Death Eaters. He is passionately against aurors being empowered to inflict unquestioned brutality during the war. This probably added to why he seemed all the more suspicious to the ministry, Sirius is not one to be silent about his disagreements. And note that the law allowed the use of Unforgivables against suspects. Can you imagine what they'd have done to Voldemort's supposed right hand? Regardless, Sirius here clearly believes in not just achieving victory in war but achieving a victory that is rightful and just and through just means. He doesn't just want to win the war he wants to achieve the objective for which they are fighting this war in the first place. Something he'd be uniquely equipped with as he comes from a lifetime of observing everything that is wrong with Wixen society and actively disagrees with it. He's not a bystander sympathising with the plight of the lesser fortunate, he's a frontline warrior who deeply believes in the cause he's fighting for, enough to give his life for it, his compassion is proactive, which is exactly what makes him a hero. Sadly all these facets of Sirius' character have largely been left behind by fandom and I miss him deeply.

I'd pay good money to read more of Sirius the way he's written here, GoF is Sirius at his best, rats, caves, detective work and all. If this is Sirius a few months out of Azkaban, I can't imagine how he'd have been at Hogwarts or during the first war. Alas. We'll never know.

[marzi-panic]

I've been working on the revamp of Lela as well as her lore a bit and trying to draw her family for a while now. I want to share what I have so far before I go on break :o)

Closer images of Lela's forms

I've been thinking about her hair when it's off her body for a while. I hope to make drawings about it more in the future but for now, it's messy👍 I definitely wanted to give her a monster form that she properly uses around other monsters haha

Close ups for the pieces of info 👍

Of course, this is just another basic ref, so things can be subject to change haha, but I'm vibing with this so far!

I won't lie, her family has been in and out of my head for a bit and I still need to draw the dads! Aaaa lol

But here's what I got so far <3 In order: Mom, elf (Shalendra Leomoira) Older Brothers, half elf and tall man (Celsus, Caratacus, Cassian) Lela, half elf and satyr Young Sister, half elf and dwarf (Jana) Young Brother, half elf and half-foot (Achill) Mixed family situation lol

And then there's Sablefey Colts.

An elf raised by a village family of half-foots, hence his name. A very doting "white knight" of Lela that was one of the friends she made in the village's dancer group. He admired her for a lot of things, mostly being her happy side that she doesn't show too often, dance style and her singing abilities. They'd brainstorm about new moves and performances.

Lela always felt like something was calling her and warned Sablefey that she might disappear one day. It made Sablefey weary and made him keep an eye on her. He warned the other members of this situation and said he'd follow her. I still need to draw them, but most of the members were scared of what that meant. Especially since Sable and Lela were the chiefs of the group. Despite the worry, two of the members wanted to help Sable keep Lela safe too. "Safety in numbers and all that!". With that, they made it their duty to keep each other informed if anything were to happen. Soon enough, after noticing a growing tension between Lela and her fiance, Lela fled and the three group members went after her. Helping keep her sanity through Lela's curse starting. They weren't going to let her face the dungeon she seemed drawn to alone, so they threw caution to the wind as they entered the caverns together and the rest was history... That I still wanna draw and talk about sometime in the future lol

Oof, my brain feels like it's about to explode, but I want to also say the "heart of the dungeon" is one of Lela's dads and the monsters aren't what they seem. :o) Again, when my brain is back in order after my break, I'll do my best to draw more stuff and explain little by little later TuT

Thank you for taking the time to look at my story vomit haha! I just want to actually think things through and make things interesting as well as wanting to make my silly ship art :oP

Thanks again for reading this post! Wish you well, have a good one! 💚

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Keep Thinking About Gale x Single Mom!Tav

A/N: Shout-out to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it. I just need to get all this stuff rattling around in my brain out.

I know, I know, Gale repeatedly says he's not father material, but have you considered that I want him to be a dad anyway and it's cute

So in my brain this single mom is named Gwen (Guinevere); a half-elf, wild magic sorceress

She came from a fairly well to do family, married a handsome and acceptably rich merchant and soon had a child on the way

Problems came when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, who also happened to be a teifling

Seen as a bad omen, both her family and husband wanted her to give up the child, she refused causing her husband to leave her and her family to reject her

She didn't let that stop her though and soon she found a new home for her and Clara

Over the next eight years she worked hard to build a life for herself and make sure Clara never doubted for a moment she was loved

Gwen knew the world would be hard on her girl, so she made a point to build up her confidence and teach her it's never wrong to fight back when people are treating you unfairly; you can't take that shit lying down

Blunt and a bit intense, Gwen has seen and done plenty of shit and thought she finally had a handle on her life; and then she got kidnapped by illithids

Still haven't played the game, so I can't give a play by play of every interaction, but I do know early game she would be a bit distracted

Obviously her first goal is to figure out if her daughter is okay so it frankly is the only thing on her mind until she gets her hand on a sending scroll or something like it

Only after does she confirm that Clara is safe and with people she trusts can she focus on the task at hand

Takes a liking to Gale basically from the word go; he's respectful, he know hows to cook, he keeps making comments about his tongue, there is only so much a woman can handle

Gods know it has been a while since she's gotten laid

He starts rambling about magic and she can't not fuck him

Gale is hesitant at first because first the orb, second Gwen has made no secret she had a child and Gale doesn't see himself as father material, and three because he does really, really like her and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep

I'd say they're able to meet Clara before they head come to Baldur's Gate so Gale and the rest can meet her earlier; and to give Gwen some peace of mind

Clara is a very curious and headstrong, both of which Gale can appreciate; he can see why Gwen was so determined to get back to her, which only makes him admire her more

Also, quick aside about the rest of the companions; Wyll and Karlach would be ready to baby sit at any given moment, Lae'zel admires the child's fighting spirit and absolutely gifted her a sword, Shadowheart enjoys her more mischievous tendencies, and Astarion is classic wine aunt who hates all kids except Clara (he's been helping her stage of coup of the swing set)

Eventually feelings are confessed between Gale and Gwen leading to a proper relationship (and Gwen actually getting laid)

Gwen is absolutely not having it with him trying to blow himself up or becoming a god

Mystra: You must destroy yourself and the orb. Gale: Alright, let me ask Gwen. Mystra: No, that's not--. Gale: She said no.

Once everything is said and done, I'm going back and forth on if they would settle in Waterdeep

Clara has friends and it would be hard to ask her to leave, but I think Gale could compromise and get a position at a different magical university closer by

Either way, Gale settles into the domestic life rather nicely and dives head first into being the best father to Clara he can be

He absolutely devours every parenting book he can get his hands on, only to throw it all out the window once he's actually in it; Gwen did warn him, but old habits and all that

Probably waits a little longer to actually get married to see how they all function as a family together first; plus he wants to properly ask Clara if she's okay with him marrying her mother

I've got other random thoughts, but that about covers it for now, if you want to know more, feel free to drop an ask! I'm up for anything.