#Ed is part of trauma team
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Cyberpunk au continues!
Little extra comic:
#drawing#art#fullmetal alchemist#fanart#edward elric#fma fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#ling yao#lan fan#cyberpunk 2077#fma au#Fma-Cyberpunk au#fma 2003#fma#edlingweek24#edlingweek#edling#Ed and ling having a Lucy and David moment#âI really want to stay at your houseâ on repeat#Lan fan and ling are mercs#Ed is part of trauma team#He hates his job.#Killed more people than he saved lol#I know this is technically an 03 au but Ed's going through so much mental anguish he needs a bf -#He's a chain smoker tho#Let 03 Ed do what he want#He needs it.
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ofmd season 1: "hurt people hurt people" mostly from the perspective of Stede, who copes with his trauma through avoidance, hurting himself by hurting those around him
ofmd season 2: "hurt people hurt people" mostly from the perspective of Ed, who copes with his trauma through violence, hurting himself by hurting those around him
both seasons have subplots about healing and growth, about finding love, about what to do with those parts of yourself that are drowning you, and what NOT to do with them, and those storylines and themes help support the main ones, seen through the eyes of our protagonists.
in particular, the parallel deaths in the last episodes of each season (Badminton dying in front of Stede, Izzy dying in front of Ed) have distinct thematic beats as well, in different moments of the main characters' storylines, but are still connected in a similar way: both Badminton and Izzy represent the external voices and pressures that have etched themselves in Ed and Stede and have forced them to hide their true selves in order to survive. in Stede's case, the pressure and bullying was always kind of detached, an overwhelming indifference and casual hatred, while for Ed, the pressure and bullying was always up close and personal, given to him by the very people who claimed to appreciate him. that's why Badminton is a villain we don't care much about, and Izzy is a character that was much more fleshed out by the end, because sometimes the call comes from inside the house, and I thought it was nice the team tried to incorporate some of those nuances into the storyline to help develop the main themes.
#some of my initial thoughts#the effects of these deaths are different because our characters have been growing all along so there are different purposes to them#i wish we had had more episodes to develop some things so it didn't feel so crunched but i see it i see what they've done#but mostly i really love how this season was largely focused on Ed (beloved)#and what his journey is all about#tv#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#wendy watches
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Break Me Down - Part 17
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader
Summary: Youâre a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk â leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcherâs team.
Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of themâŠ
đ Break Me Down Masterlist
AN:Â *Gives you a box of virtual tissues.* Just in case. đ
Word Count: 6,000 Tags/Warnings: Macho angst ahead, hurt/comfort, major, major fluffâŠ
Part 17: More Than Words Can Say
Mount Sinai Hospital was one of the largest private hospitals in the city.Â
Fortunately, it was also the closest to Vought Tower, or what once had been the focal point of the superhero industry. It had been reduced to mere rubble and whatever dilapidated parts still stood.Â
All the news outlets were covering the towerâs collapse, and speculating on what couldâve created the blast that made the entire city trembleânot unlike last yearâs incident, when Soldier Boy killed the most powerful supe in the world.
In the hospital, M.M. walked through the Emergency Department until he found Yvette and her son, Devon. They sat beside each other on a single cot, now joined by Yvetteâs husband Chris while she signed her discharge papers. Sheâd gotten off with a minor concussion and a bandage over her temple.Â
âJust checking in on you guys,â M.M. said. Yvette smiled, but she asked about you.Â
âSheâs in surgery,â he told her.Â
Yvette nodded, though tears welled up in her eyes. Chris rubbed her back and held his sonâs shoulder.Â
âPlease call me with any news on her,â Yvette asked.Â
âYou got it,â M.M. said.
âAnd please,â she said, holding her son. âThank Soldier Boy for us.â
M.M. paused at that.Â
Seeing the family was well in hand, he returned to the trauma wing. There in the waiting room sat the whole team, minus Butcher, whoâd been admitted to the hospital as well after the ED doctors didnât like what theyâd found on his lab reports. (But M.M. would look into that later. Hughie was with him now anyway.)
That left Frenchie, Kimiko, and Annie to wait for any news on you. Even Grace had arrived an hour ago.Â
But M.M.âs attention was drawn to the dusty motherfucker standing near the hallway.Â
Soldier Boy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. The collar of his supe suit was undone to give his neck and chest some breathing room. Heâd removed his gloves, and an empty gallon jug of water lied at his feet.Â
He was covered in a fine layer of soot and grime, though heâd since washed his hands and face to the best of his ability. He was also flanked by his two hired men, Frank Cardoza and Lorenzo Rivales.Â
Grace had run a quick background check on both, and as M.M. had learned, they were ex-Marines Soldier Boy had picked up in Colombia, while he was busy infiltrating a drug cartel.  Â
Fucking figures, M.M. thought, shaking his head as he watched the man. Grace stood and joined him.
âHeâs not just gonna fuck off back to South America,â he told her. âYou realize that right?â
She considered that with a tilt of her head. âLetâs just see what happens here.â
As if right on cue, your surgeon made his way down the hall and over to the waiting group. Ben pushed off the wall and went to meet him, as did Grace, Annie, and M.M.Â
Annie and Ben eyed each other with mistrust and annoyance, respectively, but then he ignored her to regard the surgeon with a terse, expectant gaze. Â
The doctor was a graying man in his fifties. He seemed to internally brace himself before he spoke, glancing at Ben first before the others.Â
âWeâve repaired the damaged muscle around her right leg. The femur is broken. We also addressed the wound near her shoulder,â he said. âHowever, the rebar did nick her heart. Sheâll need additional surgery to repair it.â
Ben sensed a but coming. He crossed his arms. âOkay, whatâs the problem?â
The doctor gave a nod and a short sigh.Â
âSheâs lost a lot of blood,â he explained. âWeâve given her a transfusion, of course, but sheâs in a delicate state right now.â
âSo whyâre you wasting time? Do your fucking job,â Ben snapped. Grace shot him a glance, but addressed the doctor herself.
âWhat are her odds, doctor?â she asked. Ben eyed her with a glare. She ignored him for the time being.Â
âShe needs this now. But, there is a chance she wonât make it out of surgery at this stage,â the surgeon replied. âThe OR will be available in thirty minutesâŠso this would be the time to be with her, just in case sheâs unable to get through this.â
âExcuse me?â Ben said.Â
His tone was dark and deep with grit, and the doctor stepped back. No one dared attempt to hold Ben back, but Grace quickly thanked the doctor and urged him to move forward with prepping you for surgery.Â
Loco shared a saddened look with Frank, who watched their boss with a deepening frown.Â
Annie turned to Ben with a measure of sympathy, hidden underneath her irritation at his attitude and her worry for you. You were still her friend, and she felt guilty for how cold sheâd been treating you lately. And she could see, at the very least, that this man cared about you.Â
âLook, can you just calm down a bit? Weâre all here hoping she pulls through,â Annie said.Â
M.M. stood behind her, silent, supportive. But Ben just ignored her, and everyone else for that matter.Â
He stalked down the hallway. And when he turned a corner, out of eyeshot, he growled and punched a hole deep into the closest wall.
Hughie perked up when Butcher finally started to rouse in his hospital bed. They had him on a hefty dose of morphine.Â
He blinked his weary eyes, his head rolling over on the pillow. His lips quirked when he noticed Hughie, who was glaring at him.Â
âWatching me sleep now?â Butcher remarked. âPretty fuckinâ creepy, Hugh.â
âYouâre such an asshole,â Hughie said.Â
That was something Butcher couldnât refute. He nodded. âI see they told you.â
âWhen were you gonna say something?â Hughie said. âWhen you fucking dropped dead?â
âProbably not even then,â Butcher teased. But when he took in the younger manâs face, all he saw was his little brother, Lenny. Butcher sighed.Â
âAinât nothing any of us can do about it.â
âFucking cancer?â Hughie said incredulously. âYou couldâve gotten treatment.â
âWouldâve bought me a few more months, maybe,â Butcher admitted. That fell between them for a moment with stony silence.Â
âItâs all right,â he added. âIâve had my fucking time. Got to see the life drain from that golden cuntâs eyesâŠgot to let my girl rest easy.â
Hughie didnât buy that. Or maybe, he just didnât want to. His eyes burned, both with emotion and determination. He stood from his seat and set out to find Grace. If there was anything that could help Butcher, she would know.Â
While the others went down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat, Frank sat in the waiting room with Loco beside him and Dr. Bakerâs briefcase on his lap.
He was sorting through its contents while Loco sat with crossed arms and slumping shoulders. He looked over at Frankâs stoic profile with a frown.
He was older, but not by much. Theyâd gone through one fresh hell after another together, and somehow, Frank always managed to pull their asses out of the wringer. It seemed Frank was trying to do the same for their boss.Â
It was funny, actually. Soldier Boy wasnât their first contractor. You were their first kidnapping though. Neither he or Frank had felt good about it when Antonio brought you back to the mansion in Medellin, but theyâd agreed to do a job. Guarding you became part of that job.Â
And yet, you had somehow reminded both Frank and Loco that they used to be respectable members of society. They used to have families, friends. They had once been soldiers. Good men. Maybe that was why theyâd grown fond of you over the past few months.Â
And FrankâŠwell, Loco knew the man had his reasons for wanting to be done with this work. Loco couldnât blame him; he was feeling tired himself.Â
âFound anything good?â Loco asked in Spanish. Frankâs dark brows had drawn together in new interest.
âMore than good,â he said. He looked up, but didnât find Soldier Boy in the waiting room. âWhere the hell did he go?â
Loco pointed to the reception desk. âTry asking someone.â
With a sharp sigh, Frank gave Loco the briefcase. âGuard that with your fucking life. Donât let anyone from the CIA take it from you.â
Loco gave him a look of offense. âItâs like you donât know me at all, bro. Fucking hurts.âÂ
Rolling his eyes, Frank got up and went over to the reception desk.Â
âExcuse me,â he said. There seemed to be no one at the reception desk. Granted, it was late at night, and they technically werenât supposed to be there. Grace Mallory had worked out an agreement with the hospital to allow them all to stay overnight.Â
He didnât have to wait too long though, as an on-duty nurse came over with a clipboard in hand. Her red hair caught his eye, along with her pretty smile.Â
âHi there. Can I help you?â she asked.Â
Frank faltered, just for a moment. But he cleared his throat and met her eyes.Â
âDid you happen to see which way Soldier Boy went?â he asked.
She gave him a wan smile and pointed down the hall, to the left. âThat âa way. Think he had an argument with the wall over there.â
Frank followed her gaze and caught sight of the hole in the wall. He frowned.Â
âSorry about that,â he said.Â
The nurse gave him a sideways look. âNo worries, hun. Itâs not your fisticuff outline in the wall, now is it?â
Once again, Frank didnât know quite what to say to her slightly teasing smile. But he returned it, more reserved, but genuine.Â
âThank you,â he said, with a nod. Then he remembered then what he needed to do.Â
And he took off brusquely down the hall.Â
It took him a few minutes to pull his head together, but Ben eventually worked up his nerve to go and see you.Â
You were still drugged out asleep, of course. He stood outside the large window of your private room in the Intensive Care Unit. He wouldnât go in though. Part of him refused to believe it had gotten to this.Â
And the reality, that this was his fault. Heâd caused the blast that destroyed the tower. His fault he hadnât gotten to you sooner.
âYou are the reason I needed saving,â youâd told him once.Â
You were right then, and it still held up now.Â
So, noâŠhe wouldnât go in there, into your room. The truth was, he couldnât.Â
But Benâs awareness prickled before he noticed, Frank had joined him. Ben tolerated it. While he wanted to be alone, maybe part of him (one he wouldnât acknowledge) craved some kind of company.Â
âYouâll get paid, donât you fucking worry,â he said dryly.Â
âThatâs not the only reason Iâm here,â Frank said.Â
It felt like a confession. Ben didnât reply though; he was focused on your pale face, covered by the breathing mask. Shallow puffs of air fogged the inside of it while your heart monitor clipped on.
âThereâs another solution here,â Frank said.Â
Ben gave him a cursory side glance. âShe wouldnât take Compound V. Not even to save her fucking life.â
âThat didnât stop you before,â Frank mentioned.Â
Ben didnât answer, but heâd been internally debating it ever since heâd spoken with the surgeon.Â
âAll right, get it over here,â he said. âThe temporary stuff.âÂ
Frank rose a brow. Heâd been curious enough to try testing the man. But now, he frowned.
âShe wonât forgive you,â he pointed out.Â
âWhatâre you, devilâs fucking advocate? Sheâll get the fuck over it,â Ben snapped.Â
But after his initial anger subsidedâŠhe knew his subordinate was right.Â
âSheâll be alive to hate me,â he said, more honestly. Â
Frank inclined his head. âThere could be another way.âÂ
Ben glanced over at him.Â
âShe lost a lot of blood,â Frank said. Ben frowned. Â
âTheyâve given her fucking blood transfusionsââÂ
âYeah, normal blood. A supeâs blood is stronger. Yours could probably heal her,â Frank said. âBut, the only one who can break your skin is you.â
Ben eyed him in suspicion. âWho told you that?âÂ
âRead it somewhere,â Frank said evasively.Â
Ben huffed in response, but as that realization truly sunk into his mind, his lips pressed together in new determination. He left Frank to start a brusque pace down the hall.Â
He ignored the red-headed nurse calling at him at the reception desk when he shoved through a locked security door, into the OR unit. He searched until he found your surgeon and pulled him from the sink he was washing his hands in.
The man gasped with fright, though he tried to hide it looking up at Ben. âWhat the hellâre you doing?â
âIâm making a donation,â said Ben. He raised a blunt nail to his wrist. âYou better hurry the fuck up, because Iâm about to open a vein.â
It was morning by the time another doctor returned to deliver an update on your progress: the âtreatmentâ was working. Your wounds had knitted closed within an hour following the blood transfusion, and you no longer needed surgery. They had also x-rayed your leg and found that the bone was whole once again. Even your broken ribs had healed.
Ben nodded at the news. He didnât respond, and just started walking down the hall. Grace, Annie, and M.M. stared after him with mixed reactions of confusion and curiosity.Â
âWhere are you going?â Annie asked. She was exhausted; all of them were.Â
The supe ignored her though. M.M. shared a look with her before he decided to follow the man.Â
Meanwhile, Ben once again stopped in the middle of the hallway when he was out of view. He took in a slow, steadying breath of relief, his fists clenching at his sides.
âCongratulations. After today, youâre gonna get your statue put back up,â M.M. said.
Ben turned around to stare back at the man, schooling his face into a stoic frown.Â
âYvette and her son are going to be fine, by the way,â M.M. added, as he crossed his arms.
Ben paused slightly at that, filing that information away with secret satisfaction.Â
To M.M., he merely raised a brow. âYou got something to say, or are you going to keep wasting my fucking time?â Â
âYou think saving one black kid makes you a hero?â M.M. asked, point blank. âTaking down Vought. Saving her. What does that all mean to you?â
Ben frowned in irritation. âWhy the fuck do you care?â
âJust answer the question. Be honest for once in your motherfuckinâ life,â M.M. said. âDo you really think youâre a hero?â
Silence fell between them.Â
Ben didnât know what it was about this guy. Maybe it was his persistence, or the fact that heâd pulled you out of the rubble and got you to a hospital in time to save your life.Â
But Ben actually considered the question.
Killing Stan Edgar and Black Noir. Saving you. Heâd done it all for selfish reasons. The kidâŠthat was something else. His face stuck in Benâs mind, how heâd trusted the superhero, like dumb kids were supposed to do.
But in that moment, carrying the tower on his back and knowing he was the only barrier between a mountain of hot rubble and this one kidâŠBen hadnât wanted to fail.Â
And still. You are the reason I needed savingâŠ
It wasnât really saving the fucking day if he started it, was it?
Benâs lips turned on a humorless smile. Still, he had saved the kid. And his mom. And you. For now, that was enough.
âLooks like I am,â said Ben.
But he met M.M.âs stare, briefly allowing him to glimpse beyond a wall of arrogance and pride.
And Ben walked away. M.M. watched him go in silent contemplation.
Grace intercepted Ben before he could visit you in the ICU.Â
Christ. What the fuck now? he thought sourly.Â
She gestured for a word, and with an annoyed look, he followed her down the hall.
âIâll get to the point,â she said. âButcher is sharing a floor with your girlfriend, down in Oncology.â
Ben raised a brow. That prick had cancer? Par for the fucking course, if he said so himself.Â
âSo?â he remarked.Â
Grace sighed. Sheâd expected that reaction. âTheyâve given him weeks, but the way heâs been pushing himself, more likely itâs days. Taking the untested Temp V long-term has had its adverse side effectsâŠif you were to make another blood donation, Iâll make it worth your while.âÂ
So now his blood was some fucking wonder drug? Hell no, Ben thought.Â
âYouâre asking me to save the guy whoâs double-crossed me, tried to hunt me down, tried to end me?â he said, with a dark, incredulous chuckle. âYou can fuck right off, sweetheart.â
She grated at the sweetheart remark, but Grace leveled him with steely blue eyes.
âIf it werenât for me, youâd be on ice right now,â she pointed out.Â
Benâs lips pursed. Heâd really like to snap this bitchâs fucking neck on principleâŠbut then he thought about it. He could work this into his favor.Â
âYou know what. Iâm having a good day, so maybe Iâm feeling fucking generous,â he said. His mouth edged into a smirk. âBut I think itâs time we renegotiated our contract. Donât you?â
Grace stared up at him, and she inhaled a deep breath.Â
âFine.â
You slowly woke up in a hospital room, in a paper gown with an IV drip and a heart monitor. Which made sense, as the events of yesterday came back to you in a rush.Â
But beyond feeling relieved to be alive, you also felt extremely well-rested. You didnât feel like a building fell on you.Â
What kind of masterful drugs are they giving me? You tried to read your chart on the wall, but you didnât see any pain medication on there.Â
Annie popped into your private recovery room. Her face brightened when she saw that you were awake.Â
âHey, hun! How do you feel?â she asked, lowering into a chair at your bedside. You wouldnât know that this chair had been occupied by various members of the team over the past few hours, including M.M., Frenchie, Frank, and even Grace.Â
âGreat, actually,â you replied. But now you frowned. âI shouldnât feel great.â
You remembered nearly being crushed under a pile of rubble. You remembered falling on a piece of rebar, and unable to move your crushed leg. You remembered the worry in Benâs eyesâŠÂ
And panic stung at yours.
âDid they give me Compound V?â your voice shook when you asked. Annie calmed you down with a shake of her head and a reassuring hand on your arm.Â
The door to your room opened once again. Benâs frame filled up the doorway. When his eyes met yours, your breath caught in your throat. He was still in his supe suit, and with his hands resting on his belt, he strutted inside the room.Â
M.M., Frenchie, Frank, Loco, and Kimiko came in behind him and at least looked showered. Ben looked like he hadnât even done that much, nor slept all night.
âIt wasnât the V,â he said at last. âJust a little blood donation. Seemed to work like a charm.â
His resulting grin had a bit of charm in it as well. Your head tilted in confusion.
"Whose blood?" you asked.
"Mine," he said. His expression faded, slightly more serious.
You found yourself slowly smiling, though your brows still furrowed in surprise. He gave me his bloodâŠinstead of Compound V.
While you tried to wrap your mind around the gravity of that, you reached for the pitcher of water on the rolling tray beside you. You grasped the pitcher, but the plastic actually crunched in your hand. You gasped and moved your hand over so the water inside wouldnât spill all over you.
Ben raised a brow.Â
The room fell silent as all eyes stared at you. When the water finished pouring out onto the floor, you gently set it back down on the tray.Â
âSeems you got some of his strength in the deal,â Annie remarked.Â
âGreat, thereâs two of them,â Hughie quipped with a grin.Â
âWell, thatâs probably just temporary,â M.M. sighed. âHopefully.âÂ
You couldnât help but laugh, and it brought a slight grin to Benâs lips.Â
After a bit of well wishing, everyone cleared out of your room to let you rest upâŠexcept for Ben, Frank, and Loco.Â
âWhat are you guys going to do now?â you asked of the latter two. Loco cracked his knuckles.Â
âGot another job lined up in private security,â he revealed. âIâve lost the taste for drug running. Nearly lost a damn toe on the last one.â
You laughed. âWell, thanks for doing one more job here.â
âAnything for el CapitĂĄn,â Loco said, giving Ben a respectful nod. âHe pays exceedingly well.â
You raised a brow at Ben, who shrugged with a cocky grin. Smiling, you turned to Frank, who was sitting in the chair beside your bed.Â
âAnd you?â you asked. Frank gave you a rare smile.Â
âGoing home,â he said. âTo my daughter.â
Your eyes began to sting, but you tried to blink away the beginnings of tears. You nodded and squeezed his arm.Â
âGive her a big hug for me. And thank you againâŠfor everything,â you said, even though you realized that thanking your former guard keep was strange. Still, there had been no part of your kidnapping that was normal in the least.Â
Frank hesitated, but he covered your hand with his.Â
Though he caught the way Benâs face tightened, and Frank let go of you. He stood with Loco, giving you and Ben a final nod. Then the two men left your room and disappeared down the hall.
Part of you felt melancholy, like chapters of your life were closing. But you also felt like new ones were waiting in the wings.
Your gaze turned to Ben, who stood near your bed.
He was looking over your chart to see if the doctors needed anything else before you were discharged. But your soft voice called to him, earning his attention. You beckoned him closer.
He went over and sat down on the edge of your bed, laying a hand on your thigh. You reached out for his arm.Â
âThank you,â you said.Â
Ben scoffed, though a hint of humor glinted in his eyes. âFor what? Saving your reckless ass for the millionth time?â
âFor saving Yvette and her son,â you replied with a smile. âAnd yeah, all that other stuff.âÂ
Your hand slid down his arm and slipped into his hand. Your fingers curled around his palm.Â
âReally. Thank youâŠâÂ
Tears welled up in your eyes again. You still couldnât fucking believe he opened up one of his own veins and gave you his blood. He gave a public hospital his blood in order to save you.Â
He couldâve easily slipped you V24 again, or worse, the permanent stuff. But he didnât just save you. Heâd respected your wishes.Â
What you wanted to say next got stuck in your throat.
Ben had something hiding behind his eyes, like he was reluctant to show you his real emotions. But when he focused on your face, his hand tightened on yours. His jaw clenched, but he didnât speak. He only let go of your hand to brush a falling tear from your cheek. His lips twitched at a smile.
âCome on now, baby doll. Youâre tougher than that.â
You choked on a laugh as more of your tears slipped down your warming cheeks. âNope. Iâm actually not.â
âHmm. Couldâve fooled me,â Ben said. You matched his grin with a beaming smile of your own. Â
Slowly, you pushed yourself up and took his dirty face in your hands. You guided him down to you, and you pressed your lips to his.Â
He allowed it with his usual demanding, fervent kiss. But then it slowed. He held your wrist to keep your hand in place on his cheek, and his thumb drew bath and forth over your skin.Â
You parted from him, pulling back enough to see his face. There was so much you wanted to sayâŠbut maybe right now, it was too much.Â
You met him with another tearful kiss.
Before you were officially discharged from the hospital, you had one more visitor.Â
Grace was once again there to debrief you. This time though, Ben sat at your side on the bed, a silent statue who regarded the woman coolly. He seemed to be tolerating her presence with more ease than usual, and you wondered why.
âYouâre going on medical leave,â she informed you. âFor three months, and then a psychiatrist will need to clear you for duty.â
Part of you wanted to argue, considering you were completely healed of your injuries. But you knew you needed a break from the S.A.âfrom all of this.Â
âYour mother and sister will be brought out of witness protection soon, after we determine that the threat is sufficiently neutralized,â she said. âYou can return home today as well.â
You could finally go back to your apartmentâŠthough the thought didnât call to you as much as it should have. You glanced over at Ben.
âIs this the part where you try to ship him back to Colombia?â you asked.Â
âThat was the agreement,â Grace said wryly. You frowned, trying to blink away the tears forming once again in your eyes.
You didnât want to lose him, but you also didnât want to give up your life here. You didnât want to leave the S.A., or your family, or your friends. Ben put you out of your misery, however.
âWe renegotiated,â he said.Â
Your eyes widened. âWhat?â
Grace explained, âIn exchange for his assistance in another case, he can stay in the U.S. on a trial basis. As long as he agrees to live within the law.â
You didnât entirely trust Grace. Ben would be watched at every moment. That was a given, but considering he still didnât have full control over his nuclear power, you were surprised Grace would allow him free roam within U.S. borders.Â
âAnd, provided, he agrees to a relocation. Preferably not in a densely populated area,â Grace added.
There it is, you frowned. You shared a look with him, and you could see he wasnât entirely on board with this. You had no doubt heâd agreed to her demands by lying through his teeth.Â
You turned back to Grace.
âWhat if he becomes a contractor for Supe Affairs,â you proposed. âThere may be some fallout after Voughtâs collapse, and more of their records to go through. Other labs to clear out. Ben would be a lot of help, if heâs willing.â
You glanced at Ben again. He met your eyes, then Graceâs, and he nodded marginally. He was getting bored of the heat in South America anyway.Â
Grace heaved a sigh. Benâs lips formed a smirk.Â
âOh, relax. I just ended Vought. Youâd be an idiot not to cash in on that PR,â he pointed out.Â
âNeed I remind you that you caused the towerâs collapse?â Grace said tersely. âAnd you did not end Vought. There will be repercussions to this, believe me.â
Benâs face tightened, but you grasped his hand.Â
âBut he fulfilled the mission,â you said. âHe took out Black NoirâŠand Stan Edgar in the process.â
âThe idea was to arrest him, but I get your point,â Grace said. Her hand raised to cover her mouth as she thought about your proposal.
Eventually, she spoke. âIf you can play by our rules, then weâll contract with you. But until you get that atomic bomb under control, you canât remain the city. Upstate is the best I can do.â
Ben chafed at being told what he couldnât do. What the fuck was he going to do in Upstate New York? Slowly rot to death in dusty-ass suburbia?
You shot him a knowing look, raising a brow.Â
âItâs a fair offer, Ben,â you pointed out. His lips pursed in annoyance. But he glanced at your hand in his.
Then he looked up at Grace. âFine. But first, unfreeze my fucking bank accounts.â
Ben later led you out of the hospital. There was a car waiting outside, and he got in to drive, despite you offering. He mustâve been going on very little sleep, if any over the past two days.Â
And of course, heâd refused to be seen at all medically, saying he was fine. You were still concerned about that destabilizing gun Black Noir had shot him with.Â
âIâm fine,â Ben had claimed. âJust need some sleep, thatâs all.â
You watched his profile for a moment, and a smile started to raise your lipsâŠuntil you finally remembered something that felt like a heavy stone in your stomach.
âUmâŠâ you said, earning Benâs attention. You looked up at him. âMy fatherâs deadâŠâ
Good fucking riddance, was Benâs initial reaction. Followed by a frown, as he now realized he would never get the pleasure of choking the shit out of Jon himself.Â
Ben had been fucking livid to learn from Frank that youâd been left alone in the Tower with your father while it was coming down (and Ben was petty enough to dock that little slip up from Frankâs pay). Had that asshole lived, Ben wouldnât have put it past him to try and take you with him after escaping the building. The mere thought grated on him.Â
âBlack Noir killed him,â you said, heaving a shaky breath.Â
That cut through Benâs thoughts. He glanced over, watching you fight some conflicting emotions.Â
ââŠPunched a hole straight through his chest,â you added.
Ben hummed in acknowledgement. You turned to him with a raised brow and glassy eyes. When he realized you were expecting a bit more from him, his lips pursed.
âWell, he got a quick death,â he said. âBetter than he fucking deserved, far as Iâm concerned.â
You sighed and leaned your head back on the head rest. Your eyes closed.Â
âGoddamn it, Ben.â
Ben eyed you with a deepening frown. âWhat the fuck do you expect me to say?â
âHow about some decency?â you asked, as a tear fell down your cheek. âHe tried to apologize. But I wouldnât let him.â
He paused at that. While he thought you were being unreasonable, it begrudgingly dawned on him what you wanted, and maybe, what you needed. He sighed through his nose. Even now, you were a handful.
Ben reached over, taking your hand from your lap. He pressed the back of it to his lips, earning your mild surprise. Â
âThatâs not your fault,â he said. And he briefly took his eyes off the road to look into yours. âNone of it was. You understand me?â
Your face softened. Though you tried to blink away your tears, a few of them still fell. You wiped at them with your free hand, while the other squeezed around his fingers, resting against your thigh. Despite how you were fracturing inside, warmth still kept you afloat.Â
So you looked up at Ben, and you nodded. He seemed satisfied by your answer. He turned back fully to the road, but you kept a tight hold of his hand. He allowed it.  Â
âWeâll have to go to the safe house to get our stuff,â you said eventually, with a small sniffle.
âNo need,â Ben said. âThatâs taken care of.â
That confused you. Was he taking you to your apartment then?Â
But instead, he drove you out of the city, and an hour upstate into Scarsdale. Youâd never been there, but you knew it by reputationâas one of the most affluent towns in the state.
You were even more confused when he drove down a street flanked by tall hedges within a private community. He pulled into a circular driveway in front of an immense white house, with a red brick roof, colonial architecture, a manicured lawn, complete with matching fountains lining the front door.
Ben parked the car and encouraged you to get out with him. You followed him up to the front porch, expecting an old billionaire to pop out of the tall bushes at any moment to chase you away.Â
âWhatâre we doing here?â you asked. His hands fell to the belt of his supe suit as he surveyed the stood, the door, and the walls for anything amiss.Â
âIâm looking into buying it,â he revealed, as if heâd just told you, Itâs pretty fucking sunny today, huh?Â
âOur stuff is ready to be shipped out when the deal closes with the owner,â he added.
Your eyes flew wide. âWhat? When did you have time to scope out houses?âÂ
Youâd only been discharged about an hour after the conversation with Grace.Â
âI had Frank look into some shit. He found this one,â Ben shrugged. âCould use some work, but not bad.â
Our stuff, you repeated in your mind. This houseâŠwas he trying to recreate what the two of you had in Medellin?
And more importantly, was this his way of asking you to move in with him?Â
Well, thereâs not too much asking going on, you thought in annoyance. And yet, you blushed; the sentiment in itself was enough to warm you.Â
You brought Ben back down to Earth by grasping his hands, earning his attention from the old grout in the tile.
âBen, this place is amazing,â you said. âBut I donât know if Iâll be comfortable living like this.â
He frowned down at you. âWhat the hell do you mean? You could have anything you want here. Itâs safe. Got plenty of roomââ
âA bit too much room,â you said, holding up your thumb and forefinger a couple inches apart.Â
He looked adorably grumpy. You smiled and squeezed his hand.Â
âDid you really feel cozy and at home in that mansion with fifty rooms and nobody in âem?â you asked.
He didnât answer you, and he didnât seem happy either. You didnât want him to take this as a rejection.Â
âIf weâre going to do this,â you said, âthen can we start a little smaller? Somewhere that feels like home to both of us?â
Ben stared back at you in annoyance. âYou need to broaden your palate.â
You just managed to stop yourself from laughing.
âYou havenât had a normal home in a long time, Ben,â you replied. Maybe ever, you realized. âHow about you trust me?âÂ
He gave you a dubious frown.
âWhat about this,â you tried. âLetâs pick it out together! If in a few months you still hate the new place, weâll try it your way.âÂ
âYouâre assuming weâre gonna make it that long.â Ben was starting to wonder if this was going to work after all. The two of you were from very different worlds.Â
You offered a cheeky smile. âIâm optimistic.â
He huffed. âSure.âÂ
You reached up on your toes, and gripped the front of his suit when you leaned up to kiss him. His hands rose naturally to hold you, resting on your jean-clad hips. He followed your languid kiss, his furrowed brows relaxing when you touched his cheek.
When you broke from his lips, his eyes opened to find yours.Â
âI am, Ben,â you said more seriously. âIâm not playing games. This is real to me, and I want to be with you.âÂ
But then you hesitated. You lowered back down to your feet.Â
âBut if itâs not to youâŠif youâre just passing time with me, until you get bored,â you said, âtell me now. Please.âÂ
It was Benâs turn to hesitate. It was the please that got to him, along with your downturned gaze. He captured your chin between his fingers and raised your face up to him.Â
âIâm not fucking around,â he said. âI want you to live with me.âÂ
Your smile was soft and bright when you took his hand. Ben wouldnât admit it, but something in his chest stuttered to life then.
âOkay,â you said with a nod. âLetâs do it.â
AN: *squeals* It's happening! We've really gotten here, folks. How'd you like how it all wrapped up with Grace, M.M., and even Butcher?
But we're not quite there with these two yet...
Next Time:
âWhyâre you nagging me like a goddamn wife?â he snapped.
âWife?â you scoffed, crossing your arms. âYou donât even call me your girlfriend.â
But God forbid another man even smile in your direction. Ben was possessive, protective, and claimed with all but words that you were his. And yet, he wouldnât say it.
You shouldnât have been surprised that he was afraid of commitment, but youâd been living together for six damn months.
Keep reading: THE EPILOGUE
Soldier Boy Masterlist
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#More Than Words Can Say#the boys#soldier boy#soldier boy/ben#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#the boys season 3#soldier boy/ben x reader#the boys au#enemies to lovers#frenemies to lovers#private investigator!reader#the boys amazon#soldier boy smut#break me down#Part 17#zepskies writes
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A bit personal, and also cw/tw for mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation//
I lost my best friend to suicide two years ago. And I can't lie, the themes in OFMD season 2 are hitting hard. Ed is definitely my comfort character, and I love him so much and just want good and nice things for him and want him to be happy.
The sucide themes are... heart-rendingly accurate and make total sense, in ways that I feel certain that someone(s) in the writing team and/or crew have had experiences with this particular thing.
It's bringing up a lot of grief and some unearthed trauma for me, I think. But I think it's also a great opportunity to talk about what you can recognize in friends and loved ones who might be having ideation.
In re-watching episode 2, I noticed some things. The day after the cake topper incident, the morning where Ed tells Frenchie, "I had a very rough night last night, but I think I got all of the poison out of my system," he's cleaning up the cabin. He's cleaned himself up. He's chipper. It's the same morning he gives the gun to Izzy, the same night that he goads the crew into killing him.
And please note, I am not an expert. I'm not a psychologist or therapist, I'm not qualified to dole out real advice. I've just become... intimately familiar with warning signs of suicide the past few years after joining some support groups and being part of discussions and hearing dozens upon dozens of stories from the people left behind. And this is just advice from one human being to others who might need to hear it.
People who have long-term ideation can tend to have a sudden upswing in the day or two immediately preceding death, and it's because they've made the decision to go ahead with it.
My friend had seemed to be getting better. He was chipper, sending photos of things he liked and generally texting/calling people in a cheerful mood. The day it happened, he was on a hike sending me pictures of rabbits and magpies.
If your loved one is going through an incredibly rough patch and has a sudden upswing in mood, if they start cleaning up by giving things away or making big changes, it's time to check in. It's time to find a way to break through to them and see if there's anything at all you can do to stop them from going through with it.
This show brings so much attention to so many things, and they get so many things right. I'm in a kind of a weird mental place right now just because this is bringing up a lot of feelings for me, but it's only because it's so accurate and hits so close to home. If this can help even one person, then it's worth me being weird on the internet about it.
And for anybody out there struggling... just find one thing. Just one thing to keep you here until tomorrow. Just one thing to stay for. Warmth. Food. Intercourse. Anything. Just please stay.
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s02e03#ofmd s02e02#ofmd spoilers#ofmd spoiler#our flag means death spoiler#ofmd season 2 spoiler#trigger warning#tw#cw#content warning#su*cide#suicide#tw: suicide
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Danny Phantom Crossover Angst Week: Prompt - GIW Experimentation
Fandom: Marvel "Team Red"
Words: 2,550
Read on AO3
The new government offices in the Kitchen were suspicious, simply by virtue how un-suspicious they were. Matt, Foggy, and Karen had poured over their documentation, and found it to be squeaky clean and overly banal. Not that it mattered, really, when Matt was going to stake out their building regardless. Newcomers on his turf had to prove themselves.
Matt didnât like what he heard.
It may, in fact, be time to call in the cavalry. No matter how deeply, desperately, Matt did not want to do that.
-
âYou hear that, Spidey?â Wade Wilson crooned. âOlâ Hornhead needs our help.â
âNever thought Iâd see the day,â Spiderman said mirthfully, shaking his head.
Theyâd been like this for several minutes. Matt was cataloging and systematically shuffling through his life choices, trying to decide which one in particular led him to this moment (so that if he ever had the opportunity to time travel, he could prevent this.)
âListen,â he told them. âI called you because I have reason to believe this situation is urgent, but my source has been unable to retrieve certain necessary information.â
âLike what?â Spiderman asked before Deadpool could get a word in edgewise.
âLike the dimensions of the building. I know that they donât match the official schematics, but not what they actually are.â
âThat seems very unlikely,â Wade cut in. âI thought you had like, a psychic connection to every part of your kitchen. How does anyone build something without you knowing about it?â
âIâm not psychic,â Matt deadpanned. Who needed a sixth sense? Matt did just fine with the ones he had. âBut the answer is, very carefully.â
âSure, sure,â Spiderman said. âAnd whatâs the actual emergency?â
âTheyâre holding someone against their will,â Matt told him, glad to cut to the chase. âI have reason to believe that this person is in a great deal of danger, and has been tortured and experimented on for a significant amount of time.â
âThe US government is doing this?â Spiderman asked, surprised. âAfter how many human rights scandals weâve had in the past few years? Are they stupid?â
âYes,â Matt answered immediately. âBut there seems to be some question of this personâs level of sentience. My source said the attitude of the agents was, ïżœïżœDonât worry if itâs screaming, that means itâs working.ââ
The cold slide of a katana being drawn made Matt realize that he shouldâve been paying more attention to Deadpool, who had become strangely quiet.
âDP, you good?â Spiderman asked, because he was naive enough to ask questions he already knew the answer to. Matt had gotten caught up in his own urgency, and completely forgotten to take Wadeâs history into account. Heâd stumbled into a thorny web of traumas, and had no one to blame but himself.
âDoing great, Spidey!â Deadpool said with a cold cheer, and Matt fought the urge to shiver. âFeeling very ready to teach some remedial lessons on human/alien/magical and/or mechanical construct rights! Câmon, team, timeâs a-wasting!â And he was off.
Spiderman turned towards Matt and paused, presumably trying to share some sort of look (which wouldnât have worked regardless, did he forget he wore a full face mask?) Then he tensed to leap, and Matt followed suit, the two of them determined to clean up whatever mess Deadpool made.
-
Deadpool had been made emphatically aware that, if he killed on their watch, neither Spiderman nor Daredevil would ever work with him again. Matt guessed that that promise was the only thing keeping him from further brutality. The stench of blood grew quickly cloying.
âHEY!â Spiderman shouted on his left.
âWhat?â Deadpool asked in front of him. âItâs not like he needs both hands.â
Spidermanâs webbing thwip-ed out, staunching the wound. âYou guys picked a really bad day to wear white,â he said to the swearing agent.
âLay off the suits, freak!â another one said, aiming his strange weapon at Mattâs friend. Matt quickly disarmed him.
Their suits were entirely white? No wonder they smelled so strongly of starch and bleach. Another point towards government stupidity.
The three of them made their way deeper into the facility, and white suits were replaced with white lab coats, though the scientists still carried the little noisy pistols, powered by something Matt couldnât identify by smell. Whatever kind of energy it was, it left strong taste on his tongue, like citrus and metal and sparking electricity.
Then, finally, they found what they were looking for.
As soon as he opened the door, Deadpoolâs tone changed, from frightening mania to a solemn sort of despair. âFuck,â he said under his breath.
Matt was in an unfamiliar building, having to feel his way through as he went. Heâd had to navigate combat situations while ignoring a great many assaults upon his senses, from loud alarms to overwhelming scents to a completely unfamiliar power source that made his skin tingle. But the inside of that room was worse. Matt resisted the urge to plug his nose against the air saturated with bleach, old blood, and rotten⊠whatever it was.
Spiderman, seeing into the room, gasped, then composed himself, following Deadpool inside.
âHey, kid,â Deadpool said softly. This was why, despite all the instincts telling him otherwise, Matt trusted Wade. Wade cared about vulnerable people, in a way that was both obvious and experienced. He wore his care on his sleeve. Matt couldnât help but admire it, and felt a kinship he couldnât quite deny. âWeâre gonna get you out of here, okay?â
A mumble responded, drawing Mattâs attention, and he drew short. There was certainly a structure in the center of the room, and upon that structure (gurney?) wasâŠ
It was unlike anything Matt had ever experienced. It was in the shape of a person, yes, but it was almost like the absence of a person. Cold emanated from the space, but air seemed to pass right through it. Sound was drawn in by the shape, muffled. Was there really someone there? Mattâs skin prickled. (Matt still wasnât psychic. But something about it didnât feel right. Like it wanted him to be afraid.)
The figure wheezed.
âHe canât be older than sixteen,â Spiderman whispered.
âHey, kid, hey, they really did a number on you, huh? Can you hear me?â
This time, there was no response, just the same shallow, painful breaths.
âAlright, up we go then,â Deadpool said, reaching for the figure. Matt almost called out, almost told him not to touch it. He half expected Deadpoolâs hands to fall right through. But contact was made, and Deadpool hefted what apparently looked like a young teenaged boy into his arms.
âAlright besties, you clear the way and Iâll cart the kid out of here,â Deadpool said, tone comically sweet.
Again, Matt wanted to protest. Now that they had the captive, the rescue seemed less urgent. He wanted to know just what was going on here, what the subject was, why he was being studied. He had a bad feeling, was all.
Matt held his tounge. Deadpool and Spidermanâs hearts were both racing, and they radiated fear and concern. Something was leaking from the boy, something that smelled like the power source of the agentâs weapons but somehow more organic. Mattâs bad feeling didnât matter, not until something bad actually happened. He could come back later and collect the information he needed, especially since heâd be able to use actual stealth to do it (thank you, Wade, for barging in.)
They went out the same way theyâd come in, mowing through agents much less brutally now that Deadpoolâs hands were fully. The number of people working in this building was frankly ridiculous.
The agents were not shy about targeting Deadpool, seeming unconcerned about any harm that may come to their captive. As they passed, they shouted at them, telling them to âDrop the subject!â or âGive up the Ghost Kid!â
(Ghost Kid? No, he couldnât be a ghost. That was ridiculous. That wasnât what ghosts were like, it couldnât be.)
(Oh sweet Mother Mary.)
Spiderman started webbing the agentsâ mouths shut.
When they had nearly reached their goal of escape, the figure began to murmur and shift.
âHey kiddo, you with us?â Deadpool asked.
âWhoâre you?â was the slurred response.
âJust your friendly neighborhood mercenary!â Deadpool chirped. âAnd Iâm getting you out of here.â
âWeâre leaving?â croaked the boy.
âYep! Meân my buddies,â Deadpool moved his head, gesturing to Matt and Spiderman, âweâll keep you safe. These creeps arenât gonna touch you, never again.â
The being moved suddenly, lurching up in Wadeâs grasp, maybe meeting his eyes or grabbing his arm?
âThe research,â he gasped, âthe containment devices, the weapons, you have to destroy them! What theyâre trying to do, itâs-â he broke off, coughing weakly.
âKid?â Deadpool asked.
âAn entire dimension,â the boy answered weakly. âThey want to destroy an entire dimension.â
The alarms were still blaring. The number of agents coming in from different parts of the building hadnât slowed. As bad as that sounded, and as much as Matt wanted to get their research away from them and into more capable and ethical hands (Karen), they didnât have time if they didnât want to take huge risks.
âWeâre leaving,â Matt said, the full gravel of the devil in his voice. âWeâll stop them, but not tonight.â
âYeah buddy, donât worry, weâre gonna take care of it,â Spiderman assured him.
âYou donât understand,â the boy said, distraught.
Their group had reached the first floor. Matt was bruised and exhausted, but none of the combatants were experts in hand to hand. They were going to make it out of this, mission complete, none the worse for wear. It couldâve gone a lot worse.
âIâll do it myself.â
The figure in Deadpoolâs arms suddenly, inexplicably, dropped. No struggle, no loosening of Deadpoolâs grip. It was like he fell straight through them.
Despite his weakness, the boy slipped away when Wade reached out for him. Then he, if Mattâs senses werenât playing tricks on him, started floating.
âBack up,â he said, âand cover your ears.â
Matt didnât like to muffle his senses, but he wasnât an idiot. When a being like that said to protect your hearing, you did it. He pressed his palms tight to his ears and moved away.
It wasnât enough.
What came from the thing could barely be called a sound. The sensation was almost physical, air distorting worse than the concussive blast of an explosion. He directed it down, down, through every level of the building, and the floor pushed back in waves as it fought against its own destruction. Inevitably, it failed, and Matt hugged desperately against the wall, hoping he wouldnât lose the very ground beneath his feet. He sincerely doubted any electronics could survive the onslaught, meaning that whatever records and weapons were being stored here would be just as gone as the boy had wanted.
Matt didnât know how long the attack lasted, maybe just seconds, regardless of how long it felt in his pain. The ringing in his head didnât stop with the onslaught, and he removed his hands cautiously, hoping he wasnât bleeding. Matt rose from his crouch, and tried to figure out what to do next. He couldnât focus, couldnât hear anything over the ringing, could only stand there and wonder if a single step would send him plunging to his death, if the ringing was just too loud or if his hearing was gone for good (he could do it, he could, but please, God, he didnât want to, didnât want to adjust, to lose such a huge part of the world around him, please, not again.)
He startled when someone touched his arm. â-hear me?â they asked, and Matt realized it was Spiderman, because he could feel his heartbeat through his fingers, knew the resonance of his voice in his chest, and Matt resisted the urge to cling to him for some sense of normalcy, because yes, even though he couldnât hear him, he knew the vibrations of his body and could still interpret them.
âThere you are,â Spiderman said. âJust mouth stuff at me, my ears are shot after that. You good?â
Matt grunted, and was disturbed by the lack of feedback within his own skull. âCanât hear a thing,â he reluctantly admitted, doing his best to turn towards where he figured Spidermanâs eyeline was. He paused, uncomfortable, but added, âA bit dizzy, too.â
âDonât worry, Iâve got you,â Spiderman immediately replied, getting a better grip on Mattâs arm and starting to pull him somewhere. It wasnât easy guidance, like Foggy would offer, it was a firm lead, something Spiderman would use to pull civilians away from danger. Matt suffered the indignity, seeing as he could barely stand straight and had almost no idea where the holes in the floor were. âMan, that kid scared the shit out of me. Iâm so glad I managed to catch him.â
Catch him? That made sense, maybe, if whatever power that had kept him suspended gave out after that display. Spiderman didnât have the boy now, though, so he mustâve handed him off to Deadpool, or maybe heâd used his webs.
The air changed, and Matt figured theyâd made it outside. He expected Spiderman to let go of him, and felt both relieved and embarrassed when he didnât.
Air moved, the ground vibrated, and Matt could tell someone approached them. Spiderman didnât react negatively, so likely it was Deadpool. The mercenary stood in front of them, speaking, but the breeze whisked the vibrations away and Matt couldnât make out his voice.
âDonât ask me,â Spiderman replied. âHey, you paying attention Double D? What the heck do we do with an incredibly powerful, partially human, transforming kid who may also be bleeding out?â
Transforming? Bleeding out? Matt had thought the blood smell was just Deadpool. Without thinking, he reached forward, seeking more information. After a moment, he made contact, and felt relieved at the familiar heart and breaths. Thus oriented, he moved his hand down to the figure in Wadeâs arms.
It was a normal human boy. No uncanny not-there-ness, no hum of energy and power, just a kid with blood pumping through his veins and dripping from a poorly treated would along his torso.
âI donât know,â Matt said. âHospital?â
âI am not just dropping him off at a hospital,â Deadpool said. âIf thatâs your plan, Iâll just take him back to my place and-â
âHey, Daredevil, didnât you say you couldnât hear?â Spiderman interrupted.
Matt nodded absentmindedly. âNot a thing.â
âWeâre wearing full face masks,â Spiderman pointed out. âHow do you know what weâre saying?â
Deadpool gasped dramatically. âHe IS psychic!â
Matt sighed heavily, wishing he could drop his head into his hands, but that would necessitate letting go of his friends. âClaire is going to hate me for this,â he lamented.
âWhoâs Claire?â Spiderman asked.
âHe didnât deny it!â Deadpool crowed.
âIâll explain on the way,â Matt said, ignoring the mercenary. âYouâre going to have to guide me though, Iâm practically useless right now.â
âSure thing,â Spiderman said, not needing more than that, and Matt knew that there was a reason he liked him.
Their group, much worse for wear and plus a new member, headed off again into the night.
#dpcaw24#danny phantom#dp#marvel#team red marvel#daredevil#deadpool#spiderman#no i will not be spelling spiderman with a dash it's simply not how i live#fanfic#fanfiction#i wrote an entire one shot i can hardly believe it#my writing#my projects
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The general consensus from the tags in this post seems to be:
"he joins, obviously"
and look I'm 110% on team gentlebeard (can they please just fucking talk!??? actually sit down and use proper words and talk about their past lives that led to each of their specific traumas and also how that affects what they want in their current lives & future outside of each other so they could figure out how to compromise & support each other like adults pls i'm begging) & despite finding izzy funny I didn't really care for him in s1 but ummmm given ep 6&7....namely:
âą izzy & ed actually talking and possibly moving towards a less toxic relationship
âą izzy finding new & healthy ways to express himself as a queer man in a safe space that hasn't really existed until now (instead of being a repressed angry little fucker)
âą showing that izzy's literally an artsy outsider which is apparently ed's type????????????????
âą izzy singing love songs
âą the way stede looks at izzy when he sings????
âą izzy singing love songs WHILE stede&ed fuck
âą izzy walking in on post sex breakfast in bed & being oddly smiley (& snarky) about it
âą izzy giving ed & stede genuinely good advice
âą izzy admitting to stede that he was (is?) in love with ed (yeah we all knew but)
âą izzy saying stede's good for ed because they balance each other out
âą (i'm not even sure if i hallucinated this part or not but when they cut from zheng & olu holding hands was izzy's hand on stede's thigh? knee?)
âą izzy being protective of/worried about stede when he's drunk off his ass, heartbroken & picking stupid fights
âą and obviously stede&ed being Stede&Ed (perfect for each other in spite of everything)
I mean I've always been interested in a stede & izzy slightly homoerotic friendship because i personally can't think of anything funnier for izzy's character arc (the equivalent of hitting rock bottom and then continuing to dig, for him)
But
yeah no okay fine y'all got me damn
do i think it'll be canon? no...
do i see the foundation & potential now? sigh....yeah
so ig the conclusion of that first post is:
HE CAN JOIN!
i got dragged in here (mildly, softly) kicking & screaming
#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#our flag means death spoilers#our flag means death season 2#ofmd stede#ofmd edward teach#ofmd ed teach#ofmd izzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#edizzy#blackhands#stizzy#gentlehands#steddyhands#stede bonnet#edward teach#ed teach#izzy hands#isreal hands
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Ben 10 rewrite-fix-selfship thangs by me and my little sister @mayameanderings we did agesssss ago but am only posting now since my friend @franollie is re-entering the fandom!
My s/i's name is Solana Cristalina!!!He's half Petrosapien,half (afro-dominican) human,transmasc genderfluid and bigender,audhd,super bubbly,chaotic,physically incapable of not running his mouth,a pastel punk femme,a mom friend and has a mean streak that's mostly funny but sometimes angsty or played for coolness against villains!His design is meant to look like a half white black person because that's what i am but since he's made of crystals,his colors reflect the primary light of whatever scene he's in(Hobie Brown moment).His eyes glow in the dark and he's strange looking but not enough to not pass as human!
His dad,Diarius,raised him on Petropia for the first 5 years of his life but decided Earth was safer for him and so he started being raised by his mom,Mariana.He had his own special debut episode in Classic called 'Crystal up,Sunshine' and Mariana is a Bruja who mentored Lucky Girl!Gwen on her and her son and daughter's summer jewel collection travels after Solana had his adventure with Ben and Gwen and became basically like siblings with them even though he was only in a few episodes for that run.Him and Kevin met the same year but at their school where Solana was a Special ED kid and Kevin was in a club/support group for troubled kids.He sat in front of Kevin and he was like 'This shiny kid is gonna blind me' which led to them talking and Solana was like 'His edge is going to cut me' /irony.They befriended eachother nonetheless before Kevin dropped out as he's implied to be homeless in canon and Solana was upset since he was his only friend but they reunite in the show itself with the exact quote 'Holy shit,edgy kid!!!' and 'Holy smokes,shiny kid!!!' but it dosen't end well just yet since Kevin was an antagonist at the time
Kevin is black monoracial but mixed etchnicity-His mom is mexican and Devin's american.He was taught to seperate his blackness from his latinohood and he grew up disconnected to his blackness due to almost no other black people around and becoming best friends with Solana was the start of healing journey og embracing his afrolatino identity.He participates in both black latino and black american culture since he's half both!!He used to feel guilty about falling under stereotypes but now sticks it to racists by being way better than them and loves himself for who he is!He has fang grills by Omniverse and his redemption arc in Alien Force isn't relient on romance despite Kelana being a big part of it
The Tennysons are white latinos with Abuelo Max being an argentinian inmigrant based purely on vibes and Verdona was latina too(poc swag transcends solar systems.Next questionâŒïž).Gwen is a lesbian and dating Kai,Julie,Ester and Charmcaster and the last one was her first love and there was so much unnecessary gay drama that could've easily been avoided if Gwen wasn't such a loser when it comes to romance and her and Ben's character development sticks instead of keeping them static characters for the sake of unfunny comedy.Ben and Rook's obviously a thing as a plot that's not really a plot twist since their dynamic is the same as in canon but intentionally romantic
Kai is recurring in Alien Force and respectfully written as navajo instead of only existing for Ben and having a fucking feather in her hair and is an official member of Team 10,as is Julie who's also not a Ben love interest but a girlgeek that has a sibling-like relathionship with him and has Ship pre-debut as she gets her own special like Solana that dives into her backstory.Ester's way more prominent too and yet another member and has quiet bpd due to childhood trauma but is helped with it by her friends and girlfriends
The last additions to complete Team 10 to make it fit it's namesake are Charmcaster,Albedo and Alan.Hope is still technically a villain but a dear friend to everyone on the gang who regularly spends time with them and helps on missions,Albedo got a fullon redemption arc and Alan was pretty much adopted/taken in by everyone since he dosen't have parents
They're also all trans and autistic
Solana and Ben are a 'i'm mean to you because i love you' typa beat,Solana and Gwen are soul sisters who bond over everything and on the same level to eachother as him and Kevin are and Kelana in Classic was Kevin actively trying to make Solana worse but Solana is such a nice person that it dosen't work,in Alien Force they get to be proper longterm friends with crushes undertones and in Omniverse they basically act like they're dating already but are still complete oblivious.They develop all throught the franchise and don't get together until the final series:Ben 10 Forever
Ben 10 Forever takes place in Ben's young adult years and is a darker,more complex story to reflect it.This includes Solana dying when he saved Diarus' life in a battle in episode 1 but being ressurected with Petrosapien resources and having trauma from it and Diarus has survivor's guilt.He was always afraid something would happen because he just dosen't trust most human's and blames himself moreso because he feels he should've been there full time,even though he wasn't neglectful and visited all the time with him and Mariana just being long distance
Kevin having mimic powers and Solana being crystalline=They're a reflection of eachother
Mr Smoothie is Team 10's hangout and Solana has a job at a thrift store and convinced Ben to be hired alongside him
#ben 10#ben 10 classic#ben 10 alien force#ben 10 omniverse#ben 10 forever#solana cristalina#kevin levin#ben tennyson#gwen tennyson#team 10#julie yamamoto#kai green#ester omniverse#albedo#rook blonko#charmcaster#alan albright#lucky girl's girls#diarius#mariana cristalina#benrook#real self shipping hours#đ#summerposting#kelana
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Part 1 Part 2
Steve is annoyed. He's trying his hardest not to be but there it is, burning low in his throat as he bites back another bitchy comment that he would really love to let fly. He keeps reminding himself that they are kids, teenagers who have been stunted by trauma and may be a little immature in areas that don't involve fighting interdimensional beings. They deserve time spent ragging on each other and if they want to include him in the teasing then that really is proof that they accept him.
But he's not an idiot, just because he's a little bit slower than the nerds who he has adopted doesn't mean he's stupid. He takes the average amount of time to make connections, it's not his fault his friend's brains all run at the speed of a supercomputer.
"Henderson, I'm not going to tell you again, watch your tone dude!" Steve allows the half bitchy comment to land in a lull of conversation so all the brats hear it, "Besides, I haven't agreed to anything yet so I don't know why you're all arguing who gets stuck with me."
The whole thing had started with the opening of a new café in town. It was across from the arcade so naturally the kids clocked it immediately and had been anxiously awaiting the grand opening. Plans were made, funds were acquired, rides were begged for and the end result was that Steve, Eddie and Nancy shared babysitting duty on the opening day. It had been a pleasant day really, Steve was happy to have adults to talk to while the kids terrorized the new shop owners. This may have been where it started to go off the rails, he realizes now. Once the lovely couple had realized they had been invaded by baby geniuses they became enamored and in a clear bid to appease and possibly distract, the next time they had visited there were signs up announcing a weekly trivia night.
The problem was the team size limits. No more than six people to a team, and Erica had made it very clear that she would not be the odd man out because of her age. In fairness, the party hadn't even suggested it, they knew Erica was a force to be reckoned with and so the splitting into two teams had commenced and now she was a hot commodity that both teams wanted. Steve was having the opposite problem.
"Nobody is questioning your numerous good qualities Steve, I'm just saying that picking you first on my team isn't like a brilliant strategic move," Dustin stumbled over the words trying to make it clear that he wasn't wanted without putting his free rides in jeopardy.
"Enough! Nobody agreed that you got to be a team captain anyway and you're being a butthead. Here's how this is going to work, adults are the team captains," Eddie's edict was met with a flurry of protests from The Party yet he continued. "Complain all you want but the more whining I hear about it, the worse it is for your characters during the next campaign!"
That shut them up, Steve wondered what he had ever done before Eddie joined their family and had real leverage to hold over them to get them to behave. Gave in, was the answer but he preferred to ignore that part.
"I'm a captain and Steve's a captain-"
"Wooooow, why aren't Robin and Nancy the captains, you misogynist?!" Max was spending too much time with Robin in Steve's opinion.
"You're spending too much time with Robin, first of all. Secondly, Robin and Nancy aren't here so they forfeit the rights to team captain. As I was saying, Steve and I are captains and we will divide you as evenly as we can. Even with Robin and Nancy we still have an odd number so we'll have to split 6 and 5 to a team. Tomorrow at movie night we'll roll to see who gets more players and then we'll divide our teams with everyone present. What say you Stevie?" Eddie ended his proclamation by turning to look at Steve, who realized he was blushing a bit at having Eddie defend him to the assembly of assholes.
"Sounds good Eds," of course he was going to agree when it was Eddie asking. He turned back to the table in time to catch a raised eyebrow between Max and El but chose to ignore it. "And, as captain and procurer of the movies, I'm vetoing any horror movies so don't even try it!"
"Freddy's Revenge is finally out though! I thought we agreed to watch it!?" Eddie's protest was the loudest.
"A creepy burned dude who kills you in your mind dreams? No thanks, we absolutely did not agree to that and I'm vetoing it forever. Watch that shit with Robin, besides, it doesn't even have Johnny Depp in it so what's the point?" Steve catches another look between the girls but this time Erica joins in, he's not sure what caused it that time. Maybe the reference to Vecna was too much. "Come on guys, seriously, pick something happy for once."
"'Mind dreams' says the team captain," he catches Mike muttering under his breath and stares him down until he gets a half shrug which is as good as he can expect as an apology from the teen.
Part 2 Part 3
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#ficlet#Mike is being a little shit#Dustin needs to watch his tone
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the "stede played no role in ed's mental breakdown and ed would've ended up like that anyways" thought process is killing me because i really don't think it's true. yes, ed is a volatile shaken soda can of trauma waiting to burst, but he exists within the context of others as well. he was clearly already mentally ill and had serious issues, but the severity of his breakdown was intensified by outside forces with his relationship to stede.
ignoring the fact that stede left, by the time we get to their kiss ed is in an extremely raw and vulnerable place. he has unlocked multiple traumatic memories over the last few weeks, lost several of his closest friends, uprooted his entire life in a career change, for the first time ever truly and genuinely fell in love with someone, and laid himself bare, offering his love to someone he thought would take it.
if this was in modern times and ed lived in a utopian world of competent mental health services, he would likely have a care team right now giving extra support than usual because he is set to fucking blow at the smallest upset.
all of this may look like progress, but this is too much too fast placing him in a dangerous and precarious moment where any damage done has the potential to push him into probably the worst mental breakdown of his life.
and it's not stede's fault that ed has trauma, and it's not like stede could've known how bad it would get. stede isn't equipped to handle this either. he is also dealing with his own issues and him making a mistake was inevitable. he stumbled in a way that is completely understandable and it had consequences much larger than he could have ever anticipated.
stede still owes some level of responsibility to ed and his breakdown though. stede had offered himself as a place of solace, accepted ed's trauma, and made big life decisions with him surrounding this. even if ed didn't become violent as a result, stede's chronic need to run away from intimacy would've done immense damage to anyone in that situation. yes he had his reasons! it's not malicious, and neither was abandoning his wife and kids, but this is a pattern of behavior with stede reflective of his biggest character flaw. it's understandable, it's sympathetic, he had his reasons, but in the end he still hurt someone he cared immensely for who he knew was in a vulnerable position. even if he didn't know ed would turn into the kraken, he absolutely should have understood how badly this would sting.
the situation is complicated. there aren't any good guys here, there's just a lot of pain and disappointment. it needs to be resolved between them! ed has to take responsibility for his own actionsâhe hurt the crew, not stede!âbut if stede wants to be in a relationship with ed, if he wants to love him and to be with him, he needs to take ownership of his part in this too.
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Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Three)
Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.
Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)
Rating: Mature
Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples
Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Road Trip, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Eventual Happy Ending
Chapter One Chapter Two
Chapter Three
You have ONE new message.
âHey, man, itâs Ed. Sorry for the early call, just wanted to check in. I know you had your hands full getting Bex settled back in at home last night and you couldnât make it out to the meeting, but we havenât had a chance to talk really since everything, wellâŠsince everything. I know itâs been rough and youâre focused on Bexâand rightfully so, I get it. I justâlisten, donât forget yourself in all of this. Itâs a lot to be dealing with and me and Chuck and everybody, weâre here for you, okay, Mouse? If you need to talk or have a break or whateverâŠweâre hereâŠOkay. Thatâs all I got. Talk to you soon, bud. Count on it.â
To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.
To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.
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Message saved.
***
Mouse
âLetâs negotiate, shall we?â
Mouse couldâve almost bought Bexâs cocky offer if she wasnât currently relying on the wall to keep herself upright. And the fact that she was turning an alarming shade of gray just from trying to walk to the elevator.
This was not going to end well.
Jay, like heâd heard Mouseâs thought and accepted it as a personal challenge, went on the offense as he shouldered past to get to Bex. âNegotiate? No, uh-uh,â he said, thrusting a hand out towards her. âGimme your keys and weâre getting you back inside to rest.â
âJayââ
âQuit arguing. You look like youâre about to pass out.â
âWill you please just listen to me for one second,â Bex yelled, pressing a hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes. She took a shaky breath before opening them again. âI canât stay here knowing that Willâs having a hard time and that Emery isâthat theyâre waking her up soon.â
Jay sighed. âYou going there wonât helpââ
âStop! I know! Okay? I know I canât actually do anything for Will and that Connor has him covered, but Emeryââ Bexâs eyes filled with tears and Mouse found himself moving before he had a chance to second guess himself. Â
He ducked around Jay and stepped into Bexâs space, slowly, giving her a chance to wave him off. Instead, she let out a soft noise and swayed toward him, dropping her forehead to his chest.
Mouse carefully brought his arms up around her and she mumbled something. âSay that again?â he asked quietly.
âI need to be there.â Bex turned her head so they could hear her and whatever her face was doing had Jayâs falling. âWhat if it was one of you? Wouldnât you want to be there? So that when they woke up, theyâd know that theyâre safe?â
Jay met his eyes over Bexâs head and Mouse knew they were both thinking of the same moment.
Of Jay on a cot in a tent in the middle of nowhere and Mouse pushing through medics so he could be by his side. He would have fought through anyone to be there.
Knew in his bones Jay would have done the same.
Jay cursed softly under his breath, shoulders dropping as he dragged a hand over his face. They waited as he fought whatever internal battle he had to get through before he shook his head and shrugged. âNone of us can go anywhere without shoes and actual clothes.â He made a âgimmeâ gesture at Bexâs bag. âKeys.â
She handed it over wordlessly and he dug through until he found them, moving to open the front door. âWeâre gonna get in so much shit for this,â he grumbled. âNo, Kol, back up. Youâre in trouble too, mister. Chris is gonna ground every single frigginâ one of us.â
Mouse and Bex followed him into the apartment as he kept muttering to himself, heading back toward the bathroom. âNo oneâs allowed to try and escape again while Iâm in here,â he called out before closing the door.
âBossy,â Mouse mouthed at Bex, hoping it would make her smile. She granted him a small one before it faded away into a frown.
âIâm being stupid, arenât I?â Bex looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. âIâm sorââ
âHey, no, donât do that,â Mouse said as he pulled her into another gentle hug. âYouâre not being stupidâyou were right. Iâd be doing the exact same thing if I was in your shoes. Or socks I should say.â She shook with a muffled laugh and he counted that as a win. âYeah, maybe trying to sneak out was not one of your better plans, but I get it, Bex. I do.â
He let her go and tugged on one of the strings of his hoodie hanging over her shoulders. âThis your special escapee outfit?â
âItâs cozy,â she sniffed at him, mouth twitching up at the corners. âAnd it matches my socks.â
âIn that case, you should probably keep it.â
That got him a real, true Bex smile. âI donât remember offering to give it back.â
âWhat is this?â Jay came hustling out of the bathroom, fully dressed finally. âStill no shoes? You just standing out here making heart eyes at each other?â He huffed as he hopped around pulling on his own shoes. âKol, I thought you were supposed to be in charge?â
Kol popped up from where heâd been lounging on the couch and let out a little howl. Jay held up his hands in apology. âYouâre right, Iâm sorry,â he said. âItâs more than a one-dog job.â
âYouâre so ridiculous,â Bex said, laughing a bit as she stepped away from Mouse. âIâm getting themâohââ Her eyelids fluttered as she tilted dangerously to the side.
âWhoa!â Jay leapt into action beside him. They both steadied her from either side and carefully maneuvered her over to sit on the couch, Kol whining as he wiggled back to make room. âI was just joking,â Jay said softly as he crouched down in front of her. âThereâs no rush. Weâve got plenty of time.â
âNo, Iâm good, Iâm fine.â Bex listed again as she tried to get up. âWe can go right now.â
âLetâs take a minute anyway,â Mouse said. At this rate, theyâd be taking her to the hospital to be readmitted. âI think maybe we need to get some more food and fluids into you?â
Bex grimaced, sinking back into the couch. âI would really like to not yak today.â
Mouse sent Jay a look that he hoped said âIâm here to help and be supportive and do what I can, but also, Iâm the boyfriend and I refuse to be bad cop so thatâs all you, dude.â
And then Jay sent him a look that clearly said âFuck you, dude, but fine, whatever.â
Excellent communication. Go team.
Jay got to his feet with a groan, crossing his arms as he stared Bex down. âYouâre going to have something else to eat, then another rest, and then weâll go.â He held up a finger before she could open her mouth. âI already checked in with Connor and Kira while I was getting dressed. Willâs getting patched up again, but heâs going to be absolutely fine. They said this kind of thing happens and they caught it early so no one is worried. And Kira said the doctors donât expect Emery to start waking up properly for at least another few hours. At least.â
He lowered his hand, the stern lines in his face softening. âIâm saying weâve got time for you to take care of yourself, Bex,â he said. âTake a few hours so you can handle a proper visit, okay?â
ââŠfine,â Bex sighed.
âAwesome, Iâll get some of that soup reheated,â Jay said before turning to Kol. âKeep her on the couch, bud.â
Kol barked once before snuggling into Bexâs side.
âHa ha, youâre all hilarious.â Bex immediately started giving Kol pets, even as she rolled her eyes.
âOkay, Jayâs got soup,â Mouse said, pressing a kiss to Bexâs head before straightening up. âIâll get drinks and maybe some more toast.â He was good at toast.
Jay punched his arm on the way to the kitchen.
âAh, hey, what was that for?â
âYou know exactly what that was for.â
Fair.
***
Bex
Bex had almost forgotten how much of a Mama Chicken Jay could be. Like, rivaling Chris levels. Once she got over being annoyed, sheâd probably be impressed.
After the food and fluids and the intense efforts at not puking and then the pretending to be resting, it was late afternoon by the time they finally made it to Med. According to Connor, Will was still sleeping so they went to Emeryâs floor first.
Kira came out as soon as she saw them in the hall, a wide smile on her face. âBex,â she whispered as she wrapped her up in a hug. âYouâre here!â The smile dropped as she pulled away, looking between her and Mouse and Jay. âWhy are you here? Youâre supposed to be resting. And healing. And not rambling around the hospital.â
She shot a pointed look at Mouse and Jay who both held their hands up.
âListen,â Jay began and Bex stepped in.
âI made them bring me,â she said, reaching out to grab Kiraâs hand. âI had toâI needed to be here.â Bex took a deep breath. âHowâs she doing?â
âReally well,â Kira said, squeezing her hand back. âHer stats keep improving and sheâs already opened her eyes a couple of times. Had a bit of water. She falls back asleep like, immediately, so you havenât missed much, butâŠitâs good, Bex. Sheâs good.â
And ohâthatâ
That had Bex choking back a sob as she peered over Kiraâs shoulder into the room. âThatâs reallyââ
âGood?â Kira offered with an equally watery grin.
âYeah,â Bex nodded. âCan Iâis it okay if I sit with her?â
âWhy are you even asking? Come on.â Kira ushered her inside and got her set up in the chair beside Emeryâs bed before leaving the room. She moved to sit in the lounge with Mouse and Jayâclose enough to be there if they were needed, but still giving her some privacy.
Bex shuffled forward a bit in her chair and reached out to take Emeryâs hand. âHey,â she whispered. âItâs me again. I knowâI canât get enough of this place, right?â
The monitors beeped quietly around them. Bex focused on the rise and fall of Emeryâs chest and the soft hiss of air as she breathed under the mask.
There was a hint of colour coming back into her cheeks.
That was good.
All of this is good, Bex reminded herself. It means sheâs still alive. Sheâs healing.
âIâve been back at the apartment,â she said, watching Emeryâs face for any kind of movement. âChris wanted me to go home to their place, but, uhâIâmâIâm at our place and Jay and Mouse are staying with me. They made this reallyâŠsort of unidentifiable, but also kind of delicious soup.â Bex laughed quietly. âI should freeze some so you can try it.â
Emeryâs fingers twitched in hers.
âEm?â Bexâs breath caught in her throat. âHey, Iâm here. Itâs Bex. Iâm right here. Open your eyes, Emery. Itâs okay.â
A soft groan made its way through the mask as Emery slowly blinked her eyes to halfway open. âBeââ
âYes, hi, itâs me. Itâs Bex.â She struggled her way out of the chair, ignoring the ripples of pain in her side so she could lean over Emery and be in her line of sight. âIâm right here, Emery.â
Emery reached up, patting at Bexâs cast. âYouâreâŠhurt,â she whispered.
âOnly a little,â Bex said. The tears filling her eyes started to spill over as pure relief flowed through her. Emery was awake. She was talking. She was here.
âBex.â Emery gripped her hand, cheeks wet with her own tears. âBex. Sorrââ
âDonât you dare,â Bex said fiercely, leaning in close. âDonât you dare apologize to me, Emery Hughes or I willâI donât know, but itâll be drastic. This is not your fault. Itâs his and weâre not giving him any space in here right now, okay? Because we are here. We made it. Weâre alive and weâre going to be okay. Thatâs what matters. Do you hear me?â
Emery stared up at her, a whole battle clearly raging in her own head, but it wasnât time for that. Not yet.
âWeâre here,â Bex repeated, willing the words into Emeryâs heart. âWeâre alive. And weâre gonna be okay.â
âOkay,â Emery finally whispered.
âExactly.â Bex smiled, moving back carefully to sit down again, but still close.
âWait.â Emery frowned and Bex froze.
âWhatâs wrong? Should I get a nurse?â
âMouse,â Emery said, somehow managing to raise an eyebrow through her still mostly out of it state. ââŠmoved in?â
âThatâs the part you heard?â Bex groaned out a laugh.
âDetails.â Emery whispered.
âYeah, yeah,â Bex said, squeezing Emeryâs hand gently. âIâll tell you the whole not-actually exciting story when you wake up.â
Because Bex would still be there.
She didnât think she could leave until it really sunk in.
Emery was here. She was alive.
And she was going to be okay.
âPromise?â Emery mumbled, already mostly back asleep.
âYeah, Em,â Bex said. âI promise.â
***
Jay
Jay sat beside Mouse in the lounge, keeping a clear view of Bex sitting with Emery in the ICU. He still wasnât sure if bringing her here was the best idea. Bex looked like a light breeze could knock her over and Emery probably wasnât even going to remember this visit.
But Bex would.
And if it helped her settle and let her focus more on her own recovery, then wasnât that a good thing?
That was the argument he was going to offer Chris anyway when he inevitably found out about this and tore a strip off of him. In the very kind and yet gut-wrenching way that only Chris seemed to manage.
Mouse elbowed him suddenly and Jay looked up to see Dr. Abrams striding toward them.
Oh.
Crap.
âGentlemen,â Dr. Abrams said, arms folded as he stared down at them in a way that almost had Jay shrinking back into his seat. âIâm only going to ask this question once. Why do I see Ms. Herrmann sitting in the ICU when she is supposed to be at home? Resting. Which was doctorâs orders, I believe.â
Jay shot a look at Mouse who was giving him that same ânot itâ look from the living room which was even less helpful now than it was then.
âOkay, um,â Jay began. âI can explainâŠâ
âOh, good,â Chris said, popping up out of freaking nowhere with that very distinct look on his face that Jay had been picturing since Bex tried to make a break for it and it was exactly as awful as he thought it would be. âBecause, I gotta say, Jay, I would also love to hear how this happened.â
âFirst of all,â Jay said, stalling, trying to figure out where to start, maybe panicking a little bit. âItâs also Mouseâs fault.â
âDude.â
Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five.
Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:
And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):
@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3
@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat, @lookingfortherainbow85
#a herrmann/halstead production#one chicago#chicago fire#chicago pd#chicago med#rebecca 'bex' herrmann#jay halstead#oc character#will halstead#christopher herrmann#greg âmouseâ gerwitz x original female character#greg âmouseâ gerwitz#greg gerwitz#hurt/comfort#trauma#emotional hurt/comfort#injury recovery#trauma recovery#family feels#team as family#halstead brothers#halstead sister#herrmann family#fluff#humor#romance#road trip
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Breaking down the comics: BEMIS. Part 2
READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!Â
Part one is here. Thanks Tumblr. (please go read it)
Two issues left of this trash heap volume. Any time you think it canât get worse you look at the next panel.Â
NEXT ISSUE. Weâre almost through this collection. This bread is not what I ordered. Send it back.Â
ISSUE #192.Â
(Spoilers: There are no sharks in this episode. For those of you waiting for the dolphins, thatâs in vol 2)
Alright. In this issue. We open with Marc, Diatrice, and Frenchie sitting at the table having coffee. ANd Frenchie looks very dead and is in scrubs.Â
IâMMA PAUSE FOR A SECOND.Â
I will cover the Lemire run later. Itâs inevitable and something Iâm deeply looking forward to.Â
The thing about the Lemire run is that it takes place at a time when ALL of Moon Knightâs original friends had left him. Gena, the kids, Crawley, Frenchie, Marlene⊠They had all been driven away. They were all in pain and either hated him, were disenchanted by him, or just pushed away.Â
The Lemire run takes place with the Moon Knight system, Marc in particular, having a severe mental health crisis.Â
DID is caused by extreme repeated trauma at a young age. It leads to dissociative episodes, and it is not uncommon for other issues to crop up (thanks trauma!). A lot of systems, if they have the health care, end up in and out of hospitals when they reach crisis points.Â
In this run, a LOT of things happen that seem spectacular and fantastical and a lot of things that are grounded in reality. Itâs hard to say if the whole thing happened or was really all just in Marcâs head. There is evidence for the latter. Iâll discuss that at a different time. But in this run, he witnesses his friends all leave him again. Itâs a way for his mind to make sense of it and to let them go. To let go of the past and the pain associated with his friends departing him. In this world, Frenchie sacrificed himself to save them and died.Â
So⊠Bemis is assuming that the audience took in the Lemire run at face value. He feels he has to explain away the events. He isnât trusting the reader at all. In fact, heâs even going to try to explain it to the reader. This is bad writing. This is just⊠Where is the editorial team? Why are they not explaining things to him? Did they even read his script? Or were they so desperate to feed off of the success of Lemire and get Moon Knight up and going again that they just shoved whatever they could at the fans and waited for the money?Â
UNPAUSE.Â
So this is why Frenchie is a zombie. Heâs trying to explain away Frenchieâs âdeathâ.
"Undead?" Frenchie asks Marc.Â
"Well, no. Not really undead. Just dead. It's all I can visualize. Like when you seen an old person and think of them naked and then can't stop picturing it."Â
"That's disturbing. But I'd be equally haunted if I had seen YOU get murdered in a waking nightmare of insane asylums and Egyptian Gods. You saw it. You felt it. It was real enough."Â
(Also he has his legs.)Â
There's one of those comic editorial notes in the corner: To find out what Marc's talking about, read the mind-bending Lemire/Smallwood Run! - ED
#^%#$$@ YOU ED. DO YOUR JOB AND ACTUALLY KEEP THE CONTINUITY AND EDIT THIS PILE OF-
deep breaths. deep breaths... We're going to get through this.Â
So Zombie Frenchie talks to Marc about what Marc saw in the asylum.Â
"Losing you was some kind of fantasy. You can chalk it up to me accepting my dissociative identity disorder, or me facing my demons...But I think I needed to see you die in order to make sense of your worth to me. That's not fair to you. You're my best friend."Â
So close. He's SO close to getting the run. And I get the feeling it's spouting off what he was cliff noted about the run without either reading it himself or perhaps he did read it, didn't understand it, and someone had to explain it to him.Â
It wasn't about him accepting his dissociative identity disorder or facing down his demons. It was so much more than that.Â
At this point Frenchie pulls off his zombie look (literally) and is back to being a normal looking man.Â
And we get what Bemis REALLY thinks is going on.Â
"You think too much, Spector. You can picture whatever you want in that malfunctioning cranium of yours if it helps you make sense of the hand you've been dealt."Â
"...Okay."Â
"Now, Marc, are you actually hearing me, or are you still picturing some grotesque fantasy?"Â
Heâs just using things as an excuse to paint Marc with whatever mental illness he fancies at the time. Hallucinations are apparently now in the mix. What does Bemis actually think is mentally wrong with Marc? Did he do ANY research at all? Is he just pointing at the DSM randomly and picking out things that make the comic edgy or âfunnyâ??
As Marc prepares to go, a brick smashes through their window.Â
He climbs out the window, dramatic style, and finds Bushman and Truth and some other guys with guns waiting on the street below.Â
Bushman has the landlord (a little old lady) at knife point.Â
They tell Marc to meet them in the lobby or the old lady gets it.Â
Oh look. Another jab at underlined villainous homosexuality.Â
Just before Moon Knight can start trashing them all, and Bushman knows he would, Raoul tells him that Marlene is on the boat.Â
Oh good. Khonshu's narration is back. I'd missed it.Â
Honestly, any time Khonshu narrates it's just a lot of random metaphors, over explanation, or depictions on what's going on that aren't needed.Â
He describes Marc being tied to a boat surrounded by his enemies with his fate unknown. ....as the comic shows him tied to a boat surrounded by his enemies with his fate unknown.Â
Let the reader read the damn comic!Â
Bushman goes against orders of the Sun King and decides to go toy with Marc.Â
Never a good idea and everyone there knows it.Â
He holds a knife to Marc's face. Well... Honestly, itâs in his style to do just this⊠Props for that I suppose.Â
And Moon Knight makes his way around the top deck of the boat and takes out all the bad guys,circling back around to Bushman.Â
"You don't scare me, Spector!"Â
"I didn't want to have to do this to you again."Â
And Marc cuts off two of Bushman's fingers then tosses them overboard.Â
"You can replace those, but they'll never be yours again. And next time, I won't be satisfied with a piece of you. I'm not one of those super heroes who won't straight-up kill you, Bushman."Â
It's fitting for what Moon Knight did from the 90s through early 2000s. As much as I disagree with it, it does fit for those times.Â
He goes below deck and finds a bunch of sad looking people sitting around like refugees.Â
Marc asks what's going on and he's told that they signed up for this.Â
He talks to one of the kids who tells him they are going to an island to form a new city for only them.Â
Back on deck, he finds Truth.Â
"Unlike Raoul, I think I may have learned my lesson in trying to defeat you personally. Besides, I was tasked with your delivery to the Sun King. I just want to help you see what I see, Spector."Â
For once, Truth is pretty reasonable.Â
True uses his powers on Marc and it's just...Â
"I have a vision every waking day. Lovers and dreamers piled waist-deep in the streets. I wade through piles of their slack, twisted bodies. Utterly powerless. Nauseated. It's my fear of this moment that motivates me, not the desire to save lives. The Fear that I've built my sanity on a lie. My hope for a better world is my most tragic form of dissociation."Â
You know... I'm not even sure Bemis knows what dissociation really is at this point.Â
Truth tells him that he's ready to face the Sun King now.Â
They arrive on the island where the 'refugees' get off and go to make camp in the village that they found.Â
OKAY. Okay. okay... here we go.Â
So... I'm going to point out something here that someone probably should have mentioned to Bemis while editing this crap.Â
The bad guy henchmen are all disabled people. People missing arms, legs, hands, eyes, on crutches, or fake legs and things.Â
They follow around a man that looks like white Jesus that calls himself "Ra the God '' and "Sun King". They head to a place that Bushman called an "Undiscovered tribe of underdeveloped backwards people". They take over the island for themselves and he brings in other people to populate it....
He's literally colonizing it.Â
The other bad guy is an overweight drug dealing black man with possible repressed homosexual desires for the good guy. The other bad guy is a large menacing tattooed white guy that makes people spout nonsense and calls it deep truth like characters in a Chuck Palahniuk novel!Â
Is anyone else as fed up with this as I am? Am I reading too much into this? Is this really not as bad as I think it is? BecauseâŠthis looks pretty bad.Â
Moon Knight finds Sun King on the beach who welcomes him to "Isla Ra".Â
"Soon this island will burgeon with those willing to light up this shadowy world. They're like us, Marc! The sickly, the fragile, the INSANE. Society's regrettable by-product, but to me...To us... They are everything!"Â
He tells Moon Knight to relax. He knows that as long as Marlene is his prisoner, Marc won't do anything to risk her.Â
"Take a catnap, Marc. We fight to the death tomorrow, but tonight we indulge in a ritual."Â
"A ritual you probably just made up."Â
"Ra feeds my mind what it needs to know."Â
"You're going to drug me, aren't you?"Â
"Sleep, Marc. Tonight we become enlightened."Â
So... We see nightfall and Sun King and Marc sit before a camp fire.Â
So of course we get an instant jab of homophobia.Â
"Why did we have to do this half naked?"Â
"Shhhh Let your mind unravel, Spector."Â
"I don't do well with psychedelics, Sun King."Â
"It was only tea."Â
"It smelled like woodstock."Â
I have a problem with this. Marc is telling him flat out that he doesn't do well with psychedelics.Â
Studies have shown that certain drugs can actually trigger mental illnesses that are linked to chemical imbalances. Not to mention that if he happens to be on any drugs meant to help him, they could negate their effects, interact with them poorly, or make him very ill.Â
We know Marc has been in and out of mental hospitals. We know he's been drugged before in these hospitals. Forcing him to take a psychoactive trip is not a cool thing to do for the dramatic storytelling. Whatâs going to happen is that weâre going to get a really trippy scene of them going into Marcâs âmessed upâ mind and heâs going to learn things, find peace or some bullshit, and then be healed.Â
This gives the wrong message that doing these potentially harmful drugs will fix all your problems! Especially if you have dissociative issues or other similar issues.Â
ALSO. People with DID? Not all the alters respond the same way to inebriation. Some will get drunk if they look at a beer. Others can do a LOT of pot and not feel a thing. The brain is a fascinating and complex place. Marc could do psychedelics and Jake could just be having a nice time while Steven has the worst trip of his life.Â
Sun King goes on.Â
"We share what they label 'insanity'. That gives me a gateway into your beautiful, tortured mind. Let me in, Marc. Let US in."Â
NOT ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE THE SAME. ONE CRAZY DOES NOT ALL CRAZY MAKE.Â
And Marc starts tripping.Â
In Marc's mind, we find Marc, Jake, Steven, Khonshu, Sun King, and Ra.Â
Ra calls Khonshu a "bad boy" and Khonshu calls Ra a "loathsome fascist."Â
Marc tries to tell himself that this isn't real. Jake demands to know how Ra can be there if it's "all just made up by Marc's mind".Â
"Steven is distressed and theorizes that "I think we've entered the world of metaphor, Jake. ANd it's scaring the hell out of me."Â
Bemis must really dislike Steven Grant. He writes him as weak, cowardly, clingy, and narcissistic. Not a fan.Â
So now, Ra takes hold of Khonshu and tells him to show him the truth.Â
He spouts a lot of garbage here and it just... It's fanatical. It's... It's dangerous.Â
What do I mean by that? He's talking about things like righteousness. About prophets and saviors and gives images of a world under idealistic circumstances where everyone gets along because he rules it.Â
Marc snaps out of his trans by the fire to declare "No... Ra is....RIGHT?!"Â
There was nothing right about that crap. It makes no sense. Itâs just propaganda crap. There is no just and right and perfect in this vision. Itâs a problem. A big problem.Â
END ISSUE.Â
One more to go. I canât wait to put the Sun King behind us.Â
After all? How much worse can it get? (spoilers so much worse. Sooooooo much worse).Â
ISSUE # 193
I like how the past two covers have had NOTHING to do with the actual story inside. Itâs like they are trying to make it look cooler and more dramatic than things are.Â
Moon Knight in the jungle? Iâd read that. Marc spent a lot of time in South America. Although, standing on his cape like that means he can't stand up without falling out of the tree. Just saying.Â
Alright so... Marc went on a drug trp and came to the realization that Ra and Sun King were right for some reason?Â
And this broke him and made him some passive weakling for some reason?Â
We see him wake up the next day and being kicked around and dragged around because "the moon can't save me now."Â
Then he's taken to a tent with some old lady outside knitting and she uses her flaming hot knitting needles to burn a sun into his back?Â
Back with Frenchie and Diatrice, we see her praying to "Dear Mister Khonshu" and she asks that he not let "the bad men kill my daddy."Â
She asks him to let Marc save her mom so they can be a family.Â
Marc is pretty broken now and he's taken to see Marlene.Â
He tells her that "this time is different"
"I know. He's different. I know because I'm actually scared."Â
And Marc begs Marlene not to let Diatrice forget him because he's going to die.Â
Why are they acting like Sun King is some super huge bad guy unlike any they have ever faced before? They have faced WORSE.Â
He's fought ghosts. He's fought vampires. He's fought werewolves. He's faced aliens and apocalyptic events!Â
Some hippy looking man with flames is NOTHING.Â
HE'S FOUGHT SO MANY ANIMALS (I need to make a list).Â
Marc is taken to a ring of fire and tossed inside to face the Sun King in a battle to the death.Â
He tells Marc to fight like he means it or he'll hunt down his daughter and burn her to death.Â
They fight and he takes a beating because suddenly Sun King knows how to fight?Â
He sets fire to Marc more than a few times.Â
Back in the head space, Jake tells Khonshu that they have to do something.Â
I have real issue with the assessment here.Â
Khonshu tells him:Â
"Look around us. We're just faint firings of his synapses now. His defense against the darkness. As we have been since his childhood, and...Our connection is nearly severed. He is alone now, save for death itself."Â
This is the belief that Marc is "the original" and that he created the others to deal with things and gave them all parts of himself.Â
This is old thinking that people with DID were just shattered and broken bits of themselves that needed to be put back together. It's outdated. It's insulting.Â
Why does everything Khonshu says just sound like absolute drivel?Â
Like he was TRYING to be deep and just spouting off things that sounded metaphorical. It's just bad writing. He's clearly trying to copy Lemire.Â
So he asks if Jake has ever believed in anything.Â
And Jake remembers Diatrice.Â
And they all take a moment to bask in the glow of their daughterâs memory.Â
Then we get Stevenâs version of what Khonshu said.Â
Yeah. This is where that saying comes from.Â
Somehow this gives them the ability to punch harder?Â
And he starts beating on Sun King.Â
He gets the Sun King to admit that he fears him now for some reason.Â
And this makes everyone happy like some sort of 1980s movie.
And the Sun King can no longer use his fire. BecauseÂ
"I convinced you. Now Bow before me you horrible bastard."Â
I'm not sure it works like that, Marc. But sure. You convinced him.Â
And the Sun King bows down before him.Â
"Thus ends the reign of the Sun King."Â
And the people in the croud are cheering? Despite being there to support the Sun King and because they hate Moon Knight.Â
Later we find Marlene bandaging up Marc's burns.Â
The Truth stands by watching for the boat to return to get them off the island.Â
"The man's cause is dead to me. Proven false by his impotence. I would undo any affiliation I had with him. I've found the facts of life to be more...Malleable than I realized. Maybe with some time in a room by myself...I might reassess my purpose."Â
Yeah sure. A man is impotent because he lost a fight with another man and now no one believes in him.Â
This is some fucked up masculine toxicity.Â
Marc turns to address the other people on the island.Â
"All of you just got stuck on a desert island because you let yourself get convinced of a bunch of crap by a completely mad super villain."
Uh huh. So the notion of him raising his own group of followers and warriors out of normal people. Cause that isnât an issue. Obviously these people are easily swayed and maybe a bit fanatical. So telling them that you are now the new leader is not problematic at ALL.Â
Also? That âI believeâ in the back?Â
We get a zoom in. Iâm not going to show you the image.Â
Itâs Dr. Emmett!Â
She's in her Moon Knight cloak thing (why would she bring that to the island with her if she was there following Sun King?).Â
She's covered in burn scars and missing an eye. It's drawn to look like a rotten hole.Â
Does no one believe in medical care here? Open eye holes are a problem. They run a risk of infection! Also they don't just stay open eye holes. The eyelids will collapse downward a bit.Â
Anyways. She's back there going "I believe... I believe! Your doctor believes, Marc!"Â
And the comic ends there.Â
That was something alright. UGH.Â
Give me a second to gather my thoughts up from this burning dump of ableism and poorly depicted mental health peppered with racism and anti-semitism.Â
Volume one of Bemis is like a love letter to the kinds of people that think itâs fun and funny to show mentally ill people as dangerous, wild, unpredictable, and overall pathetic.Â
The continuous use of language like âInsaneâ and âCrazyâ is more than poor taste. Itâs a constant reminder that we arenât supposed to see Moon Knight as normal at all or even sympathies or identify with him.Â
You see, there is a difference between âWe have the power of crazyâ and âYou were the only superpower I ever had.âÂ
A big difference.Â
In the former, itâs played up for laughs. Much like the old gags of seeing a man in a dress. It doesnât age well but it persists. It persists because it still garners laughs. And the people that are still laughing are the people like Bemis. And he draws in more people who are like minded and he tells them itâs okay to keep laughing.Â
The latter is a beautiful way to show that having DID was a powerful and wonderful way to be strong enough to survive when everything didnât want you to.Â
How did he get away with this? He is Bipolar. Iâm not going to argue if he is or isnât. I donât know him and thatâs his own personal history. Iâm going to argue that being Bipolar does not give you the right to assume you understand ALL mental illnesses or that you can write for all of them. Or even lump crazy with crazy.Â
Marvel is the sort to say âAh yes, this person had a drink with a black person once so they should be able to write for Luke Cage.â Or âI took high school spanish so I can write for Miles Morales.âÂ
We canât put up with this anymore. We canât let them do this. We canât let Marvel keep perpetuating things that hurt us. That hurt others. That keeps ripping the power away from those with so very little to begin with.Â
So this is Vol 1 of Bemis.Â
âBut Drifting Piecesâ you might say âHow can it get worse than this? This was pretty bad.âÂ
My friend⊠You are in for a ride.Â
PART THREE: HERE
#Moon Knight#Moon Knight Comics#Analyzing the comics#BEMIS#This took forever to do. You have no idea#I kept wishing it was over and it kept going#Who let this trajedy happen?#I'm doing this for you#Please read this#It took so long#End of Volume one at least#The next one is worse
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The thing is, Stede has never liked piracy for the same reason that Ed despises it.
It's just that Stede believes it's a matter of skill and experience that he needs to obtain in order to be a "real pirate" and that once he gains those things, he'll be magically okay with the gore-y bits. The soul crushing bits. The poison.
Stede desperately wants to belong and to have friends because more than anything he wants respect and love - things he has never had before. He's interested in the idea of community and team work and communication - it just so happens that he has made these interests pirate flavored because it facilitated the latter. Own a big cool ship, get a bunch of crew who were basically hired friends, and do something stereotypically masculine in an attempt to feel like a success.
We see Stede haunted/guilt ridden even by his involvement in the accidental deaths of the Badmintons. Yes, part of his guilt is due to feelings of inadequacy stemming from his failed marriage/domestic life, but the other half is feelings of inadequacy at being a pirate aka committing acts of violence. The whole reason Stede pushes back against the whole "traditionally piracy is a culture of abuse" is because it makes him uncomfortable to do violence. This is well established within the first episodes of season one, and during Stede's reaction to raids, or to Calico Jack, or Chauncey's death.
Episode 2x06 was a great culmination of this point about Stede. When he had Ned at swordpoint, he had to decide whether or not he was going to kill him. Ed, who knows extremely well how bad it feels to kill from his own firsthand experience, cautioned Stede against it in an effort to spare Stede these awful feelings of guilt and trauma (which I think Ed knows Stede would feel because he can tell how Stede handles violence and it isn't well). Stede is therefore torn between performing the violence that is expected of him as a pirate captain (there is so much to say about how this relates to masculinity that I don't have the words for) or saving himself the trauma of killing. In the end, Stede kills Ned and we immediately see in his expression that he is upset, so much so that he flashes back to his childhood; one scene of himself picking flowers and being soft and the other of him watching horrified as his father slaughtered the goose. He also retreats to his quarters to isolate where he sits on the sofa in much the same way as he did after Nigel died in s1. It was a perfect setup to illustrate that at the end of the day, Stede is never going to be okay with killing in the same way that Ed isn't. Their relationship to violence runs nearly parallel, and once Stede realizes this completely I think he and Ed will come to a compromise about how they want to spend the rest of their lives together and what they really want to do.
#ofmd s2 meta#ofmd spoilers#ofmd speculation#sorry it's 7am and I've not slept so I am drinking a coffee and musing about this#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet
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I've had a fic idea kicking around in the back of my mind for a while where Ted and Beard give the team a safe sex talk.
Because these two came not just from coaching a whole different sport, but a whole different demographic college-age young men who grew up in the US, probably in red/conservative states. And in the US, especially red states, we don't get sex ed in high school. Abstinence-only is the norm.
The first time I got any kind of sex ed that wasn't preaching abstinence was in a college course where my professor had realized that this gap in our education, while sucking for us, also impeded our ability to understand some of the later material. She developed a sex ed course taught over two weeks or so.
In this vein, Ted and Beard realized while working with college students that their teams were lacking some vital info about things like STDs and consent. So they threw together a power point which they normally present at the beginning of a season, which is part of their getting settled ritual.
The original premise of this fic was something fun, comedic and fluff filled. Pure crack. I have done zero research on sex education in the K and other countries where the AFC Richmond players are from but I'm sure it's better than the United States because the bar is on the floor. Plus these guys are older and more experienced so the talk would be a refresher kinda thing. I was going to throw in a few paragraphs about how Ted and Beard made an effort to include talk about non straight sex too, for that to resonate with Colin. Maybe make this happen when Trent was shadowing Ted, or have Trent hear rumors and grill Ted about it like he did about Sam's birthday party.
But then, just now, it occurred to me that depending on the timeline, Jamie might still be there. So it's early season 1. Maybe just after the gala. And when Ted starts talking about how consent matters so so much, not just for the girl but the guy too, that brings up some...stuff.
Because they're talking about informed, enthusiastic consent. What counts as consent. Relationship dynamics. How you do it because you want to, not because you've been told by a partner or society that you should. Honestly might segway into asexual spectrum Jamie because my own asexuality colors my writing and interpretation of characters (Jamie being ace in sex-positive, likes to make his partners feel good vein, similar to how @zehwulf talked about evidence towards Ted being asexual) and also because I enjoy ace-ifying characters.
Anyway, the TLDR of it: I had a fun idea and now I'm thinking about Jamie Tartt's trauma. A normal occasion, in this fandom, I think.
#I don't know if I'm even capable of doing a Jamie voice I have not really tried#writing him from an outsider pov is tough enough#but it could be from ted or beard's pov too/instead#if anyone has thoughts I'd love to hear them#ted lasso#jamie tartt#elliot writes#ted lasso fanfiction
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I see a certain section of the fandom trying to say what Caitlyn did was irredeemable. And let's be clear: What Caitlyn throughout S2E3 was WRONG; she may in mourning but that doesn't excuse or justify her actions. I can understand them and it's clear the writers are also showing that what Cait is doing is wrong. But I also feel that the same section of the fandom who say Caitlyn is the "bad guy" have amnesia over Jinx's actions: She willfully her drug kingpin father, killed a number of people (both Piltovan and Zaun), pointed a gun at Vi, kidnapped Vi/Silco/Caitlyn (the last one she kidnapped in her home after she took a shower, which is a special kind of privacy violation), launched a rocket that only killed half the council but also caused other innocent deaths. And yet some parts of the fandom will gloss all over that because of her trauma and abuse at Piltovan's hands. Look, like Caitlyn, I both understand but also don't excuse Jinx's actions. They are both traumatized young women but have each done cruel and inexcusable actions that they will most likely pay for in Acts 2 and 3.
And while I make this post, I am in NO way downplaying the unfair treatment Piltover has with Zaun. It's clearly one-sided. I am just making the point that Jinx is no saint either. Neither is Jayce, Mel, Vander, Vi, (especially) Silco, (especially) sevika, (especially) The Council. No one is perfect on this show. Everyone is capable of doing and/or saying monstrous actions and trying to justify it. All I am saying is that we don't forget that Arcane is about nuance and the fact that no one in Arcane is completely good or bad; that everyone is capable of great good and evil.
Also, those who are saying Jinx's attack on the Council was different because she was targeting the symbol of Zaun's oppression vs Caitlyn's strike team in Zaun trying to hunt down Jinx. Yes, they are different but both are still inexcusable because they only serve to heighten the already tensed and hate filled nature of the two cities. Yes, I can understand both their actions come from a place of pain but they are using pain to hurt or risk hurting innocents. And they both will have to answer for it in the upcoming Acts, we just don't know how or when.
At the end of the day, Arcane has complex and nuanced characters, whose actions you can understand and even sympathize with but shouldn't gloss over their morally questionable or just plain f-ed up decisions. Plus, we are only at 3 episodes (as of this writing), and the writers waited three years (maybe longer if we count the conception of the show) before releasing this season. Let's have a little faith in them.
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ëë§ë„í° êčìŹë¶3 - Dr. Romantic 3 ep.10 & 11 - Episode Highlight - đ°đ·
Whumpee: ìì°ì§ (Seo Woo Jin) played by ìíšì (Ahn Hyo Seob)
Synopsis: At Doldam Hospital, Dr. Kim Sa Bu and his team are committed to saving lives. After three years, a state-of-the-art trauma centre is set to open, equipped with the latest in medical technology.
Genre/Tags: Medical, Found Family, Romance, Whumpee w/ Trauma
Watch On: Hulu, DramaCool, KissAsian
Notes at the bottom + bonus GIF
WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW
Episode 10
(Ppl are concerned for him during the entire first part of the episode)
7:43 - unconscious, concern for him, woke up, coughing, trying to move but canât, in shock, shaky breathing, shaking, crying out in pain, heavy breathing, groaning
13:23 - (all one scene but a lot going on/breaks) heavy breathing, sweating ::: concern for him, shaking, sweating, heavy breathing, wound reveal (?), shaking, struggling to speak, said he was in a lot of pain, shaking, shaky breathing
21:55 - (1 scene but has small breaks) found, shaking, struggling to speak, heavy breathing, told the rebar would have to be pulled from his body, concern for him ::: shaking, sweating, shaky breathing ::: talking about how pulling out the rebar will be âunbearably painfulâ, shaking, tourniquet put on his arm, given pain medications, held down, scared, heavy breathing, screaming, held, writhing, crying, shaking, heavy breathing, concern for him, comforted, bleeding
31:08 - rolled into the ED, shaking, sweating, shaky breathing, concern for him, moved to a bed, in a lot of pain, wide eyes, examined, heavy breathing, writhing
38:05 - being prepped for surgery, unconscious, facial wounds bandaged
38:40 - in surgery, intubated, arm operated on (continued to below (47:33))
47:33 - still in surgery, unconscious, intubated
53:08 - asleep in the ICU, oxygen mask, arm wrapped in bandages, woke up, concern for him, heavily lidded eyes, weak
56:32 - (flashbacks: struggling to walk, half collapsed into a shelf, holding his ribs, all beat up, stumbling)
1:08:05 - arm in a sling, IV, looked after, glassy eyes, crying
Episode 11
16:22 - scar reveal, doing physical rehab for his hand
âââ+âââ
MORE WHUMP LISTS >>> {x}
I used KissAsian to make this Episode Highlight. The time stamps may vary across platforms.
Hereâs another GIF from the drama đ
#asian whump#whump list#whumplist#asianwhump#kdrama#kwhump#whump list library#whump list directory#Dr romantic 3#ëë§ë„í° êčìŹë¶3
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Izzy's Protectiveness
This got a bit rambly but here we go.
I love characters who have a trait that is both a positive and a negative one and Izzyâs protectiveness is definitely both. I also think that Izzyâs protectiveness is part a natural inclination to it, part of his job as first mate, and part a reaction to past trauma.Â
I think this trait is the most positive when it comes to protecting his crew. Mind you, you have to be HIS crew not the crew of a ship Blackbeard has taken over. Izzy makes a deal with Stede for the hostages to not only get the knife out of his face but to protect Ivan and Fang as well. He also seems upset that they âlost several of their menâ in the attempt to get Stede. He tries to bring the crewâs looking worse for wear condition to Edâs attention and when Edâs waving a gun around on deck Izzy makes sure no one on the crew gets shot.Â
(On a side note, this need to protect the crew isnât always his main motivation, when he teams up with the English to try to get rid of Stede that definitely puts the crew in harm's way but his hatred of Stede at the moment overrides everything else.)
The trait moves from protective to overprotective when it comes to Ed. Izzy believes that by shoving his softer traits down Ed is protecting himself and therefore should keep that shield up to avoid getting hurt. And once Blackbeard becomes famous and people just give up at the sight of his flag? Well thatâs a good thing in Izzyâs mind, it protects Ed, himself, and the crew all in one go.That need overrides any inkling Izzy has about how Blackbeard is hurting Ed and is no longer something Ed needs. Izzy also wrongly thinks that getting Stede out of the picture will protect Ed.
Now this is getting into a highly speculative part but I would be willing to bet some of Izzyâs issues come from his own trauma and how heâs learned to protect himself.Â
Somewhere along the line someone hurt Izzy and he dealt with it by closing up and putting up shields and not showing the soft core of himself for fear of getting hurt again. So Iâd imagine he sees that softness in Ed and teaches him to hide it away or else youâre going to get hurt and Izzy doesnât want to see Ed get hurt like that. Izzy is wrong, of course, and he ends up hurting Ed instead of protecting him.Â
So while Izzy being protective is a good thing he sometimes goes about the wrong way and ends up hurting instead of protecting. Luckily this is OFMD and Izzy learns that opening up around the right people can be worth the risk of potential hurt. You can find a place where you can dress in drag and sing and those around you will celebrate with you. Izzy also realizes that Ed needs to do the same and the end result is worth letting oneâs guard down.Â
You just have to find the right people.
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