#EYE. ROLL.

[genderqueering]

no, i don't want to sign into a google account to use this site. no, i don't want to accept all cookies. no, i don't want to allow this site to use my location. no, i don't have any questions to ask your helpful chatbot. no, i don't want to sign up for weekly updates. no, i don't want to spin your wheel pop-up wheel of fortune for a free 10% off. oh look your site is so badly configured that the header bar travels down the middle of the page and i can't even read this recipe for chocolate chip-stuffed crescent rolls anyway

[dralbum]

it’s the misogynist sapnap allegations all over again WE LEFT THOSE IN 2020.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]

He may have gotten a little out of hand though....

>:)

Next post :]

[sukunasteeth]

Sukuna isn't "nice", like you say he is.

He just listens.

You tell him your favorite flower? You wake up to a bouquet of it sitting on the kitchen counter at least three times a month.

You tell him your car needs work done? He's underneath of it hours later, tinkering with it and scolding you for not checking your oil frequently enough.

You say you want to go to the expensive restaurant for dinner someday? Sukuna books the reservation, even if he has to save the money to do so.

You're hungry? He orders food, sometimes he asks what you want and sometimes he just knows.

You tell him you've had a bad day? You come home to a drawn bath and revitalizing touches from his soothing hands.

You hate when he leaves hickies where the others can see them? He leaves twice as many for them to notice. (You can't get everything you want, after all)

[shotmrmiller]

getting shot down by ghost without even asking him out or anything because he'd heard from one scottish bird that your type of guy was exactly like him and thinking back on it now, all the qualities you'd listed for your dream man do sound like as if you were describing him. yikes.

you don't take his rejection to heart, even though it does lightly sting but before you get a chance to explain that said scottish bird is an idiot and very mistaken in his assumption, ghost is telling you that it'd never work, you'd only get hurt and that you do take to heart because what does that mean, exactly? does he think you some dewy eyed farm girl looking for love? that you can't have casual sex with someone without eventually wanting for more?

"tha' ain't wha' i said. you'd get hurt, i mean look at ya." what about you? it's not like you'd let any of what happens behind closed doors affect your performance or anything, you and kyle always keep things professional while in the field.

also, is he aware that he doesn't have to have a reason to not want to sleep with you, or anyone else for that matter?

"you're small," he states, as if fact.

small? small where? your irritation dissipates, shoulders bleeding tension as genuine worry begins to set in. his vision might actually be going bad. could it be the black paint he wears under his mask? is it even safe to use on the face let alone near the eyes? did he read the instructions?

but then you realize he's looking at your legs, or specifically, what's between them and things click, and now you're wondering how someone so bloody brilliant could be this fucking stupid.

"while i appreciate your concern, lieutenant," you pointedly snap, "that's not even- i'd be just fine." he's a big guy, for sure. massive, if being honest. his neck alone is easily bigger than both your hands and you've caught him once or twice having to duck his head to enter the debriefing room but him being so endowed that it poses a threat to you is idiotic at best.

he hums, long and low in his throat, as he peers down at you through heavy lidded eyes, and raises his right shoulder in a shrug. "as you like," and that's the one and only warning you got.

simon had given you as much foreplay as needed, had lapped at your pussy until you forgot what day of the week it was, curled and scissored his fingers until his bedsheets were sodden and it still hadn't been enough. he'd only fit about a fourth of it in before he took pity on you and fucked your thighs instead until he got close, pushing his ruddy tip back into your aching cunt because "spillin' outside is a waste," and sent you on your merry way.

you're no quitter though and after some shopping online, your saving grace (dilators) will be here in a week.

(now to find soap and rip the rest of his hair right out his scalp for wagging his tongue.)

[meyhew]

reblog for a larger sample size pls etc etc i'll pass u a strawberry 🫶🏽

[nutnoce]

The Sun! I miss it!

[frownyalfred]

thinking about a Damian who was raised his entire life hearing how much he looks like his Father, how he's the blood son, how he's better than any other child Bruce Wayne has taken in, starting to buy into it like a kid does, only to hit puberty and turn out looking like 80% Talia.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

[yourlocal-edgelord]

Cass: Baby brother

*Jason Tim and Damian look up in response*

*Jason and Damian noticing each other looking up*

Damian: She’s talking to me Todd

Jason: Pretty sure she was talking to me pipsqueak

Cass shaking her head: baby brother hurt

Jason with a cut on his forearm: Told ya it was me *sticks out tongue*

*Tim trying to hide the fact he dislocated his shoulder while creeping upstairs*

Cass pointing up at tim: Baby brother

*offended noises from both jason and damian*

Jason clutching his heart in mock hurt: I thought i was your baby brother cass

[thatwavephenomenon]

me: i sure hope the crows are not gonna be solely depicted in veilguard as a brave force who 'fight for all' when they are at their core a criminal organization who is known to buy children to indoctrinate them and turn them into assassins, by putting them in overcrowded warehouses and making them fight for scrapes in order not to starve, to later torture those who reach adulthood to finish their initiations and kill them anyways if they dare to try getting out

bioware: i cooka da pizza

[loverboy-lover]

James Potter and Sirius Black

[asavt]

Once upon a time a small rat walked into my web...

[raebonnz]

happy lizzie week i mean lizzie week i mean lizzie week i mean lesbian week

[dorkfruit]

umm….. thats not helping