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winedad16 · 5 months ago

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It’s Us Against the World (3/3)

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Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning(s) for:

N/A

Freddy & Hans

October 1929

Although his father had been gone for nearly two years, Freddy had never found himself visiting his father’s grave alone. Previously, he had always visited with Anna or his mother, and sometimes Marta too, but more so the latter above all. He and Anna had made it a habit of going together over the last year, now more willing to face their father's headstone with a braver face, but something had begun to draw Freddy to visit alone and spend some time by his father’s final resting place. So, he found himself on this day sat down next to the stone that held his father’s name, book in hand, as he listened to the rustle of leaves in the cool autumn air.

“Find support within yourself,” He muttered as he read aloud. “Listen to me— do not look for happiness in the world— happiness is in you…”

He looked up when he heard the crunch of leaves beneath someone’s foot.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Freddy smiled and stood up to greet his friend, his hand running against his father’s headstone as he did so.

“How are you?” He asked Hans, whose hands were deep in his pockets.

“Ah, knackered,” Hans sheepishly answered. “But I lucked out, Herr Pflüger called it an early day.”

“Good,” Freddy smiled. “You’ve been putting so much into this apprenticeship, you deserve the rest.”

Hans gave him a toothy grin. “I learned from the best.”

Freddy laughed and rolled his eyes.

“I only work so hard because it used to be my dad’s company . I can’t have people thinking I’ve got a free handout.”

Hans winked. “I’m only messing with you.”

Freddy rolled his eyes again before shooting him a playful smile.

“What have you been reading?” Hans asked once they began to walk off. “I’ve been looking for something new.”

“Ah, ‘The Dream Room’ by…” Freddy flipped his book around. “Erich Maria Remarque.”

“Hm, I’ve never heard of it.”

Freddy tucked it under his arm with a smile.

“I’ll have to lend it to you. The lead’s name is Fritz, what are the chances?”

Hans laughed and clapped Freddy’s bicep.

“The book was made for you.”

The two began to make their way out of the cemetery, almost stepping through the gates until Freddy stopped. Hans turned on his heel.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just—” Freddy paused and gestured back. “Do you want to stop by your father, first?”

Hans glanced in the general direction of his father’s grave, considering it for only a moment before taking a step back.

“I can always do it another day.”

Freddy gave him a small look. “Alright.”

***

November 1929

Just as he was showing Anna his brand new suit, asking for her opinion on what shoes would match best with the look, Freddy was interrupted by his mother calling him down.

“Friedrich!” Anita shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “Hans is here!”

Anna’s face lit up and after throwing a quick, “Black would look best!” , she quickly abandoned her brother, leaving him behind in her room to pick up all the shoes she had strewn about.

“Wait, Anna—” Freddy sighed and looked at the mess on the floor, resigning himself to pick it all up before leaving his sister’s room.

Coming down the stairs, his mother gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek, making sure to wipe the lipstick residue off of his face before rushing out of the house. By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, he spotted his sisters and Hans at the dining room table, laughing about something he didn’t hear. It was an entirely normal sight, Hans had always been good to his sisters— But then Hans leant into Anna’s ear and whispered something for only her to hear. A laugh erupted from Anna’s lips as she pulled back and playfully slapped his shoulder, piquing Marta’s interest enough for it to be near annoying. Freddy’s stomach felt like it flipped.

“Don’t flirt with my sister,” Freddy joked, some truth lingering behind his words. It didn’t go unnoticed that Hans still found girls attractive despite being a homosexual. Freddy didn’t know why that sparked such intense insecurity.

“Freddy, don’t be an ass,” Anna rolled her eyes with a smirk. “I’m flirting with him!”

Hans laughed and flicked her arm.

“Besides, I have better things to do,” Anna proudly announced as she stood from the table. “I’ve got a date with Karl Bergmann, tonight.”

“Is it really a date if you have to bring Marta?” Freddy teased.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Marta pouted.

“It means that mom wants the house empty for her ladies dinner and pinned you on me!” Anna snarkily replied.

Marta stuck her tongue out at her sister and left the table. “Karl Bergmann is way out of your league, anyways!”

Anna just sighed. “Goodnight, Hans.” She kissed both Hans and Freddy on the cheek. “The black shoes, Freddy. The brown ones are ugly.”

Hans watched as Anna followed the youngest Finkel child up the stairs while Freddy huffed and took a seat next to him.

“I’m sorry about them,” Freddy sighed and ran a hand back through his hair. “You know how they are.”

Hans smiled. “It’s fine. I love being here, chaos and all.”

Despite the smile on his friend’s face, Freddy noticed puffiness around Hans’ eyes. On top of that, there was a slice of pie neatly placed in front of him, presumably from his mother. Based on these two facts alone, Freddy concluded that this wasn’t a regular spur-of-the-moment visit.

“Is that a new suit?” Hans had asked before Freddy could pose his own question.

“Ah, yes. Emil and I went today,” Freddy beamed. “I’m looking forward to it quite a bit. The wedding, I mean. .”

“It looks good on you,” Hans plainly said, his eyes scanning Freddy from over his coffee cup. “It compliments your... Shoulders.”

“Thank you…” Freddy’s ears flushed.

“I have no idea what I’ll be wearing just yet.” Hans carried on. “I’ll have to enlist Anna.”

The older of the two groaned, making Hans laugh.

“Was it that bad?” Hans chuckled.

“Listen, I kindly asked her for her opinion and she pulled my entire wardrobe apart, brought it into her room, and left me to pick it all up!”

Hans slightly laughed as he toyed with the pastry in front of him with his fork, the conversation ending with Freddy. Hans awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Is everything okay?” Freddy quietly asked.

Hans nodded and continued to poke at his food.

“I’m fine now. My mother and I got into another argument, that’s all. I just needed some space.”

Satisfied with that answer, Freddy nodded.

“I’m sorry about that. Was it bad?”

Hans waved him off. “It’s nothing, I promise. It always blows over.”

The two chatted about their friend’s upcoming wedding for a little while longer, discussing their travel plans and whether they’d ask one of the bridesmaids to be their date before the conversation quickly fell off again, Hans not being in a talkative mood. The silence must have been the perfect environment for Freddy’s anxieties, as suddenly, the topic of bringing a date became incredibly nerve-wracking. The idea of asking a girl to be his date wasn’t what he was worrying about, but more so his sister and Hans. Hans and Anna had always been close, it was natural, as Freddy and Anna were attached to the hip for some time, but something about their earlier exchange made him uneasy.

Tentatively, he asked, “So… What’s going on between you and Anna?”

Hans cocked a brow. “What about us?” He took a large bite of pie, cleaning the plate as he did so.

“Well... Ah,” Freddy flushed a little, embarrassed by the question. “You two seemed close today. I wasn’t sure if there was anything I needed to know about?”

Hans chuckled. “She’s a pretty girl, but Fritz, I’m far from interested.” He winked, which helped ease Freddy’s nerves more. “No woman could pin me down,” Hans joked.

Freddy felt Hans’ hand touch his under the table and smiled when it was squeezed.

***

The wedding was a great success, Freddy having an absolute blast between the ceremony and after party, and only somewhat successfully held back tears when his two friends finally tied the knot. Even Hans had to admit that it was a little magical, but Maria and Emil always had that energy about them.

As the party was coming to a close, Freddy and Hans found themselves being pulled aside by Maria and Emil for a moment of fresh air and peace, sharing a few cigarettes over joyful conversation.

“I can’t believe it’s been four years,” Freddy laughed, cigarette hanging from his lips. “It seems shorter than that.”

Emil laughed. “It’s been a dream, really. It always is with her.”

He dipped down and kissed his wife’s cheek, in which Maria returned. Hans pretended to gag, making the group laugh.

“Now it’s one of your turn to get married,” Maria said with a wink. “Hans, I saw you dancing with Eloise,” She wiggled her eyebrows. “You two would make a handsome couple.”

Hans chuckled. “She’s a sweet girl.” Is all he said.

As the chatter died down, the newlyweds shared a look, the bride taking a long drag from her cigarette before passing it to Emil.

“We have some news for you both,” Maria began with a smile, Emil’s expression just as giddy. Freddy chalked it up to the wine.

Both Maria and Emil shared a soft glance before looking back to their friends.

“I’m pregnant,” Maria excitedly whispered, her grin wide and toothy.

Freddy’s mouth gaped while Hans sprung forward, pulling the couple into a hug, a wine glass splashing somewhere between.

“Congratulations, you two!” He exclaimed, being met with giggle-filled shushes.

“Only you two know!” Emil chastised. “We’re getting married so soon for a reason!”

“Oh!” Hans exclaimed again before being met with an array of shushes once more, making his face go red. “Oh!” He then whispered. “Congratulations you two!”

The group shared a collective laugh.

“Congratulations, both of you,” Freddy finally said, following it up with a kiss on Maria’s cheek and a firm handshake with Emil. “That’s fantastic news.”

“Thank you, you two,” Maria sipped from her wine glass. “If we’re lucky it’ll come late. My mother would have a conniption if she knew the truth.”

Freddy chuckled.

“Well, I’m wishing you both the best. I’m sure you two will be incredible parents.”

“And we will be incredible uncles!” Hans proclaimed before being met with a harsher array of shushes, making his face go pink once again. “Sorry, sorry.”

“We are so lucky to have you both, really.” Emil said warmly. “And Hans, we’d be honored if you were its godfather.”

“Freddy, you’d be the one for our next one of course,” Maria was quick to add, making sure that Freddy felt included.

Freddy only smiled, uneager to assume that role anytime soon. He didn’t think kids were for him. Hans, on the other hand, took it incredibly seriously.

“I’d be honored. Thank you, both of you.”

Only Freddy noticed the melancholic cloud that hung over those words, but didn’t think too much of it.

***

Once the party had ended, Freddy and Hans jumped into the Finkel truck, navigating through the groups of the drunken people still present in the lot as best they could. Just as Freddy proclaimed how excited he was to get into bed, Hans suggested he stay over his house.

“Would your mom be okay with that?” He had asked. “I wouldn’t want to bother her.”

Hans shrugged. “She’s away for the weekend. What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.”

Freddy bit the inside of his cheek. “Alright. Let me just pick up a few things.”

***

Fiddling with his house keys, Hans eventually got the front door of his home to budge open, slightly stumbling over his feet as it gave in. Freddy softly laughed at his friend, stabilizing him with one hand before stepping into the house after him. After he had put his case down on the floor, he slinked his arms around Hans’ waist from behind, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, his body still buzzing from the liquor.

“You looked really nice tonight, Hans,” Freddy mumbled into his neck.

“Thank you,” Hans smiled and turned around in Freddy’s arms. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Friedrich.”

“You should dress like this more,” Freddy whispered, his hands tracking up Hans’ tie— Making his breath hitch.

The two lazily kissed and soon enough, Freddy’s hands began to work on the buckle of Hans’ belt. Hans hummed at the touch and pulled Freddy in by his hips, both of them smiling against the other’s mouth.

“Let’s make it down the hall first, ja?”

Freddy almost tripped on the carpet.

***

Later on, when they were softly kissing in one another’s arms, still drunk yet sobering up, there came a moment where Hans felt quite sick.

“Fritz?” He muttered out.

“Hm?” Freddy’s lips never really left Hans’.

“I think I might puke.”

Freddy quickly sat up, moving Hans up and off of him before quickly ushering him out to the bathroom, just in time for the latter to hunch over the toilet. There was just enough time for Hans to dress himself to look decent before hurdling back over to the toilet, depositing whatever remained in his stomach down the drain. Sympathetic, Freddy quickly finished tucking in his shirt and rummaged around to find a washcloth, which was then wet and handed over to Hans, who was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Hans graciously accepted it as he rolled back onto his heels, wiping his face as he slowed his breathing before sitting down and lying back. Freddy gently knelt beside him as the washcloth was tossed into the tub.

“Thank you.” Hans breathed.

“Of course.” Freddy softly replied.

He then reached over and began to comb his fingers through Hans’ wavy hair, curling a soft lock around his finger as Hans’ eyes fluttered closed. Freddy couldn’t believe how pretty someone could be, especially after throwing up.

“I love you.” He whispered, scared to be heard despite the empty home.

“I love you too…” Hans softly echoed.

Sitting in silence for some time, Freddy leant back against the bathroom wall, picking at his nails while Hans laid quietly.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” Freddy spoke up. “I’m really happy for Maria and Emil.” He paused, contemplating what he’d say next. “I wonder if we’ll ever have that someday.”

“We won’t.” Hans was quick to say.

Freddy’s head whipped around. “What?”

“I said,” Hans continued as he sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. “We won’t.”

“Christ, don’t be so pessimistic.” Freddy awkwardly chuckled.

“It’s hard not to be, Freddy.” Hans almost grunted. “It’s just not gonna happen, it’s—“ His face fell into his hands as he began to cry.

Alarmed, Freddy scooted closer, placing a hand on the younger’s shoulder.

“Hans… What’s wrong?”

Hans sniffled and wiped his face. “I’m leaving, Fritz.”

“What?”

“I’m—” Hans hiccuped. “I’m moving to Austria.”

“What..?” Freddy sat up, alarmed. “Hans this isn’t funny.”

Hans hiccuped again and began to cry harder, his chest tight and his heart aching.

“I’m serious, Friedrich.” He took a sharp breath, taking in some air in order to speak. “My mom, she found out about us— No, no, don’t worry— She doesn’t know it’s you but she found the notes.” He did his best to explain, but to him it sounded like a garbled mess. “We’re going to Austria to be with my Uncle Heinrich. It’s why she’s gone tonight. She’s saying goodbye to my father’s sister.”

Freddy thickly swallowed. He could feel his heart fall to his stomach.

“Well, if you have family here… Can’t you just stay?” He tried to reason, but Hans shook his head.

“She’s got her own family to tend to, Freddy. Besides, I couldn’t ask her that.”

“Then come live with my family! I’ll be moving out in no time so then we can go live together. No one would bat an eye. Just starter flatmates.”

Hans sighed and ran his hands over his face.

“Thank you, I really mean it, Fritz, I…” He sighed again. “Even if I had the choice, I can’t leave my mom. The house is being sold, she doesn’t have a place to go besides my Uncle’s… I just…” He leaned into Freddy’s arms, who was now teary-eyed himself.

“I understand,” Freddy assured him. “I… When are you leaving?”

Hans hid his face. “In three weeks.”

“Three weeks?!” Freddy exasperated, his tone forcing Hans to face the matter.

“I know, I know. I should have told you sooner. I wanted to, I promise! I tried but when I saw how happy you were to be Emil’s best man I couldn’t ruin it.”

Freddy placed his hand over his mouth in thought, choosing to not let his frustration with such a late notice slip.

“So, you learned quite late yourself?”

Hans nodded. Freddy sighed and pulled him in for a gentle kiss.

“Let’s make it a good three weeks then, okay? We’ll meet by the lake every evening we are free, have a few dinners with my family, hang out with everyone for just a few more times…”

“I love you, Freddy. I’m sorry.”

Freddy simply kissed him again, telling him to not worry about it.

“Could we go for a walk?” Hans asked.

“Now?” Freddy asked with raised brows.

Hans excitedly nodded.

“But it’s so late!”

“I’ve only got three weeks!” Hans argued with a smile.

Freddy couldn’t say no. He never could when it came to Hans.

Us Against the World (Vingette) - currently unavailable

#ao3 #freddy finkel #captain klenzendorf #captain k #original character #1920s fiction

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tazmuir · 5 years ago

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Hello! I loved Gideon the Ninth so much!! and would like to draw fan art, would you mind sharing any helpful summaries of what each character looks like? or must us fans hunt through the book for every offhand line of description? (not that I'm not planning on rereading it anyway)

I have let myself drift back onto Tumblr after two weeks, am deeply affrighted and excited at the idea that anyone has drawn my kids (I had an AMA on Reddit and as said there, my editor every so often hollered into my inbox about amazing shit people were doing, but I was too busy complaining back to him that my face had gone numb and that I no longer slept, but instead the darkness of the grave claimed me for four to five hours each night). Thank you so much to anyone who has already done this. Many people on my team have yelled and yelled.

Back early on in the piece I made a document for him about what characters looked like in terms of basic ideas/outlines for copyediting, covers and sense purposes, and I’ve dug out that document and slapped it up here for general delectation. As a note: I imagine specific things when it comes to my characters (I am a Kiwi: I write Kiwis In Space as a default) but as I have nothing but joy in my heart for how anyone would want to draw these characters, feel free to glance over this, then toss it out the window. It would bring tears of beauty to my eyes if anyone was like “Yes, but when I was reading I imagined Naberius Tern as a huge monitor lizard,” because absolutely yes, Naberius Tern was just a huge monitor lizard, godspeed.

I had only described below the specific cavalier-necromancer pairs, so that’s what you’ll find below, sorry if anyone wanted Teacher.

SECOND HOUSE

The only ones who seemed even vaguely compos mentis were the Second House: as it turned out, they had been the ones to call Teacher to the access hatch, and now they sat ramrod-straight and resplendent in their Second-styled Cohort uniforms, all scarlet and white. They both affected the same tightly-braided hairstyle and the same amount of extremely gilt braid, and also the same serious-business expression, and they could be told apart by one having a rapier and one quite a lot of pips at her collar.

Captain Judith Deuteros and Lieutenant Marta Dyas are alike in posture, bearing and extremely crisp military uniform (think a cross between US Navy whites and the Regency navy). Unlike every single other necromancer on the cast, Judith never wears necromancer robes, but is dressed in the exact same way as Marta. Judith is somewhat less completely scrawny than other necromancers on the cast, though she should be less built than Marta is; Judith is imposing, solemn-faced and reflective, Marta is more keen-eyed and restless. I imagined both as Tongan.

THIRD HOUSE

[Coronabeth] was tall and regal, with some radiant, butterfly quality – her shirt was haphazardly tucked into her trousers, which were haphazardly tucked into her boots, but she was all topaz and shine and lustre. All necromancers affected robes in the same way cavaliers affected swords, but she hadn’t tucked her arms into hers, and it was a gauzy, gold-shot, transparent thing floating out around her like wings. There were about five rings on each hand and her earrings would’ve put chandeliers to shame, but she had an air of wild and innocent overdecoration, of having put on the prettiest things in her jewellery box and then forgetting to take them off. Her buttery hair was stuck to her forehead with sweat, and she kept tangling a curl of it in one finger and artlessly letting it go.

The second twin was like someone had taken the first to pieces and put her back again without any genius. She wore a robe of the same cloth and colour, but wore it like a very beautiful shroud on a mummy. The cavalier had lots of hair, an aquiline face, and a self-satisfied little jacket.

Coronabeth is massive, taller even than Palamedes, larger-than-life – statuesque, very bright gold hair, golden/bright skin, violet eyes. Ianthe is the same height but gangly and washed out. Skin colour defined heavily in Corona’s case as golden/olive-hued brown/tanned; Ianthe similar, but less radiant/more pallid whatever the case. Both have long hair: Corona’s should be big and bouncy, Ianthe’s flat/sleek.Naberius is shorter than both, brown-haired (brown can be light, medium or dark, it’s not defined) and blue-brown hazel eyes. Also has lots of hair, cut short, but sense of pompadour/waves. I imagined all three as Pakeha/white.FOURTH HOUSEBoth Isaac and Jeannemary are around fourteen and have pretty much the same body shape still: Jeannemary is semi-muscular and has lots of corners, Isaac is skinnier. Both are natural brunettes, though Isaac has bleached hair (orange, fauxhawk) and Jeannemary is described as having curly hair. Both have multiple ear piercings and eyeliner and the visual is somewhat Glassons storecard punk. Both have dark brown eyes. Jeannemary has a somewhat dusty, fierce, monochromatic appearance (brown hair, brown skin), and I imagine her as Māori. Isaac I imagined as NZ Chinese.FIFTH HOUSEMagnus Quinn is a man in his middling to late thirties, with short, curly hair: he is a frank-faced, nice-looking guy of medium build with a face inclined to wholesome smiles. His outfits should be absolutely exceptionally well-tailored and not very flashy. Imagined him as Samoan. His wife Abigail is perpetually neat, wears round spectacles and has long, glossy dark brown hair – she is the least described of a cast not very specifically described. Much like Magnus, she should always be beautifully and tastefully dressed, though in her case she would affect trousers as well as a robe. Imagined her as Pakeha/white.

SIXTH HOUSECrouching in front of the hatch was a rangy, underfed young man: he was wrapped in a grey cloak and the light glinted on the spectacles slipping down his nose. Standing next to him holding a big wedge of broken sculpture and the flashlight was a tall, equally grey-wrappered figure with a scabbard outlined at her hip. She had hair of an indeterminate darkness, cut blunt at her chin.Up close, he was gaunt and ordinary-looking, except for the eyes. His spectacles were set with lenses so thick they could make spaceflight grade, and through these his eyes were a perfectly lambent grey: unflecked, unmurked, even and clear. He had the eyes of a very beautiful person, and the head of someone with resting bitch face.

Palamedes is seriously underfed with a bony, thin face and glasses: medium brown hair cut short and with no particular thought for aesthetics, dresses just in greys, eyes particularly lovely clear grey. Camilla has very dark cold-brown hair – chin-length, straight and with a fringe – dark eyes. She’s compact and has lots of lean muscle, and I imagine her of being Middle Eastern extraction, though due to Sixth House parameters both will be fairly mixed. They’re actually second cousins, so there ought to be a faint resemblance.

SEVENTH HOUSE[Dulcinea] was a slender young thing whose mouth was a brilliant red with blood: her dress was a frivolous concoction of seafoam green frills, and the blood on it seemed more somber against such a backdrop. Her skin seemed transparent – horribly transparent, with the veins at her hands and the sides of her temples a visible cluster of mauve branches and stems. Her eyes fluttered open: they were huge and blue, with velvety brown lashes.

Dulcinea is a girlish woman who looks extremely fragile and sickly, like a neurasthenic Victorian maiden. Eyes should be extremely blue. Hair is light brown in long curls; skin is pale. Pretty in a frivolous, invalid way. Gives the impression of being slight. Outfits should be gauzy and nightgownish. Imagined her as Pakeha/white.

The man who’d put the sword to her neck was uncomfortably buff. He had upsetting biceps. He looked like a collection of lemons in a sack. He didn’t look healthy; he was a dour, bulky young person, whose skin had something of the strange, translucent tinge that the girl’s had. He was waxen-looking in the sunlight […] He was dressed richly, but with clothes that looked as though they’d seen practical wear: a long cape of greyish-green, and a belted kilt and boots. There was a long, shining length of etched chain rolled up and over his arm, and a big one-handed sword hung at his hip.

Protesilaus is massive, buff, and also sort of sickly and indistinct-looking in his colouring – he is described as being made up mainly of muddy, ashen browns. Think Greek warrior, but with no vibrant colouring. Biggest on cast, even bigger than Colum Ash. Imagined him as mixed Pasifika.

EIGHTH HOUSEIt was a pair who were both boys – well – a boy and a man; one was a wan, knife-faced kid dressed in antiseptic whites and useless chainmail you could cut with a fork, it was so delicate. [Silas] was draped in it even down to a kilt, which was strange: necromancers didn’t normally wear that kind of armour, and he was definitely the necromancer. He had necromancer build. […] He gave the impression of being absolutely no fun at all. He was prim and ascetic-looking, and his companion – who was older, a fair bit older than Gideon herself – had the air of the perpetually disgruntled. He was rather more robust, nuggety, and dressed in chippy bleached leathers that looked as though they’d seen genuine use. One finger on his left hand was just a gross-looking stump, which she admired.

Silas is in his teens, has shoulder-length white hair in a braid and dark eyes. He has extremely pale skin, and coupled with the white robes and silver chainmail (all of which somewhat swamp him – he’s sort of slender and purse-mouthed) gives the impression of being arrestingly white all over. Pointy chin, oval face, disapproving expression, a little insubstantial. Colum, his older, larger nephew is much taller, broader and in his early thirties. He has medium brown hair in a short back’n’sides crop, dark eyes, and appears jaundiced in skin tone – he’s very weatherbeaten and tan-skinned, scarred, and though he’s dressed in the same colours he tends to contrast heavily with them and his leather armour is also beaten-up. He looks tatty and ill-used, expression is apathetic or forbidding; Silas always looks perfectly clean, crisp and white. Facially there should be a similarity. They’re both Pakeha, with Silas being significantly the palest person on-cast.

NINTH HOUSEThe light fell on [Harrow’s] painted grey face and black-daubed chin, and her short-cropped, dead-crow-coloured hair. […] She had such a peculiarly pointed little face, high-browed and tippy everywhere, and a slanted and vicious mouth.

Harrow is a scrawny teenage girl with black hair cut short (as befits someone in a monastery) and truly black eyes: she never appears except in black and white skull facepaint. She has a pointed, rather triangular face, not very long, a triangular heart rather than a triangular diamond or oval. She wears black robes and long-sleeved, long-trousered clothes – all black – with no skin showing: the main decoration on this is bones. She wears a corset of rib bones and could have any other bone decoration, which has been written of in the book as bone bangles and multiple bone stud piercings in the ears. She’s more femme-androgynous than outright butch; in Book 1 she’s a bit birdlike and free of specific masc or femme gender markers in terms of outfit or build. I imagined her as being mixed Māori.Gideon is true butch: tall of height – at least, taller than Harrow – extremely, shreddedly fit with the muscular arms of a swordswoman or boxer. She should have a strong-jawed, boyishly pretty face with a big douchebag grin. Cropped hair same as Harrow, except that hers as an oblate is more of an in-your-face mop (could be partly-shaved except that implies more care than Gideon possesses) and is intensely, vividly red. I envision her as mixed Māori, darker-skinned than Harrow. She also wears skull facepaint, though hers tends to be much less careful and baroque than Harrow’s. She often affects a pair of black aviator sunglasses. She wears the same black cloak as Harrow, without any decoration, and a plain black shirt and trousers underneath. Her eyes are an extremely vivid amber with more of a yellow/golden tint than a russet one.

#wild spoiler nobody cared about: camilla and palamedes are second cousins #am I allowed to go look at the art now or will I fall about and die of joy #gideon the ninth #appearances etc #I have not come back to the Internet because my inbox was full and I was afraid. Thank you everyone who has read my book.#Naberius Tern is a monitor lizard in a wig. I'm not good at this #reply #otonin

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courtorderedcake · 5 years ago

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Hallow : ch VII - CSSNS 2019

“The Goblin King was prepared to host the Darkness, stealing Fae women away to their corrupted lands underneath the ground as concubines. The Darkness chose another in his stead, but not before this selected vessel enacted a devastating attack in its vengeance, revealing its hatred & rage. The battle was a lesson the old kings had forgotten; never underestimate an opponent.

Many more lives were lost as they razed over any who dared defy The Goblin King’s will. Only the pure love of our rulers united in matrimony, breaking the Vorpal Dagger, sealed the darkness and the Goblin menace away. The light flourished under their fair rule, and the queen bore a child as pure as moon beams, swan feathers, and starlight. They lived happily ever after, and shall be written in history as Heroes for All Time.”

This is the history Princess Emma memorizes from the day she is born, paraded about and presented only with the highest protection. The palace is a cage she wishes to escape, desperately. Not careful what wishes she made, Emma discovers history is written by the victors - The Dark One has an entirely different version of the events that took place.

Read on AO3 here.

Rated E for explicit themes, Mature situations, and Fae fuckery.

Written for @cssns

Ch 7 / ?? - In which there are new and powerful dynamics in play.

The first day that Emma didn't come racing back in realization of her folly, Killian did not worry. She was stubborn, plucky, and absolutely, intolerably obstinate. She would return, he was certain of it, and he stoked the fire smugly while the Darkness coiled in him, winding tighter with each tick of the clock.

It was no mistake that the voice of the Darkness mimicked the voice of his crocodile-skinned previous master. They both delighted in feats of evil and hated to wait for anything, impatient in every dastardly moment. The days passing made the Darkness break him in ways he hadn't faced since before his imprisonment, with nothing for it to take its anger out on besides him and the body that they shared.

On the fourth day, it shrieked non-stop with no throat to make raw or lungs that needed to draw air, just a steady shriek within his head that rarely switched octaves. When an eardrum burst, it would heal enough to warble tinny scratches before jolting back into shrieking until it burst again in a terrible cycle. Killian could no longer stoke the fire as heavy summer rain poured from the sky and rolled into his abused ears, his hair sticking to him as he sat in the deluge.

On the sixth day it broke his fingers in sections, further mutilating his already swollen and weeping hand that had been scratched by the Dagger, the skin tearing open anew and pouring forth foul smelling gunk. He wrapped it in an old shirt padded with some herbal salve Emma had made and left behind, absently wondering if she left it on purpose for him, or had simply forgotten it. Maybe she would return for it?

Hopeful? You're hopeful she will return? What do you not understand about how hapless and nugatory you are? How futile your stupid hope is? She is not coming back, you insignificant barnacle. This all could have been avoided if you had just listened to me, if you had taken the deal Nil gave you!

"So what do we do?"

The Darkness did not answer, and his head cleared to an eerily sinister silence.

"What do I do?"

Again, no answer came except for the wind moaning through the trees. For another three days, he suffered more of the Darkness' cruelty before he gave in and realized Emma truly was not returning. Or…

A barely there whisper in his mind broke through, a small stab of worry in a distant corner. What if she could not return? What if something had happened, what if something was wrong? Emma had no idea about the outside world, about the customs or cultures her parents had abandoned in the creation of the United Realms.

Moving with a manic frenzy, Killian tore down the camp with a single goal in sight. He was going to find Emma and save her, then chastise her to high hell -

Or, at least get the Dagger piece from whoever had her in their grasp -

And he knew where to start: tracking the two women who took her, Alice and Cheshire, from their ill-fated meeting at Never-Wonder Land. Transporting himself there took more energy than he cared for with the Darkness as loud as it was. Focusing on it not overwhelming his already muddled state of being, he pushed past the yellow tape partitions put up by mortal detectives to enter into the ruins of the club.

"Looking for a souvenir, Killian? Maybe some recommendations on where to get a good gyro?" Tink's voice rang out from the shadows.

"You're still here? You're free Tink, why -"

"We may be free, but that doesn't mean we have anywhere else to go," Tink called down, a heavy sadness in her statement. There was a rumble and a low purr before he caught a shadowy glimpse of the Sphinx stretching on a broken wall out of the corner of his eye. He turned back to Tink. Tink sighed, and he could hear the shrug in her voice. "It's home."

Killian kicked at a broken light that was covered in mirror pieces. It still glowed slightly in the dim room, shooting out shards of light.

"The Light One is not with him." Wendy's voice echoed from behind him. "How odd. Why have you returned here, Dark One?"

"I need to find Emma. I believe she is in trouble," Killian called into the dusty gloom. Bricks crumbled nearby, the sound catching his attention before a large paw pinned him down.

"Half truth. There's some honesty you have left out. Puzzling." Wendy's eyes flicked with golden light, her claws digging through his shirt and trousers as she pushed down on him. Her tail flicked back and forth; Killian couldn’t reply, his lungs crushed and impossible to make noise with. Wendy's eyes widened, her pupils growing as if she could magnify her sight. "Oh. Oh, I -"

She stepped back, staring at a space near a broken beam. Tink's voice called down to her. "What is it? What's the truth he would not say?"

Wendy hesitated, but removed her paw. "He's scared of being alone with the thing inside his head. He's scared that it will take over or drive him mad without - " Killian protested loudly, and the Darkness giggled in a jeer he could almost see. Wendy's tail swished agitatedly. "Not important. He wants to find Alice and Robyn, but has no idea where to find them."

"Why should we trust him?" Tink asked, moving to an easier perch to spectate from. "He seems to be in terrible shape. I bet you a meat pie that the princess found a new boyfriend."

Wendy flapped once, the force of her wing beat sending him rolling and forcing his noise of disgust back down his throat. She laid her large head on Tink’s lap, making Tink look even tinier.

"I told you, they weren't together. There was something, but it was not yet romantic. Truth. And I won't take that bet; it's most likely the truth the princess abandoned him in some capacity.” Wendy wrinkled her nose. “He reeks of Darkness. Also a truth. I say we lock him in with the Tweedles, but as a permanent snack. Delicious truth."

"Please," Killian moaned, voice more wheeze than request. His spleen reconnected and reorganized itself, his innards processing their crushing.

Tink's eyes went wide. "What was that? Say again."

Killian licked his lips, the Darkness trying to heal him, and let out a groaned rasp.

"Please?"

Tink pushed off Wendy's head, and landed on the floor gracefully as Killian coughed and his ribs knitted back together.

"The Dark One never asks for help, and never begs." The Darkness sharply jammed another rib into place in agreement. "Why did you ask us for help, and not anyone else?"

"I was hoping our previous… experiences with each other might lend me favor." Crawling to stand and moving into Tink's space, he rocked on his heels, smiling with what he hoped was a smolder. “We could even discuss a few things like last time - "

"Liar," Wendy purred, and Killian debated briefly if he should stuff and mount the beast. "He's seeking physical distraction from the Darkness and his fears for the Light One, but he does not really want it, even in the form of forni -"

"I've got the idea Wendy," Tink hissed. "So you're trying to distract yourself from Emma. No way are we ever going to be - no. Just… no. You were practically possessed when we - I mean just dark and angry. I'm not that desperate anymore, and have absolutely no idea what I was thinking. It was awful. No."

Wendy let out a snort, and a slow, mewling, "Truth."

"Wendy, for the Goddess’ sake!" Tink yelled, and the Sphinx made a hissing noise in annoyance, her tail swinging. Pointing at Killian and jabbing him roughly in the chest with her finger, Tink hissed. "Killian. Tell me the truth."

Killian paused, clenching his fist, the other too swollen to close. "I'm worried for Emma. If she's hurt, I cannot be free… And I don't want her to die."

Tink glanced up at Wendy, who gave an affirmative nod. Leveling a gaze at him, she stepped back to put space between him and herself, smiling curtly. "Fine. We will help you. I have a few guesses where they may have gone, but the top tier - They could have gone to Ursula, but if they did there's no way we could help."

Killian wheezed harder. " The Ursula? The witch who defied her father and Triton in order to save the Selkies from -"

"Yes," Tink said gravely.

"But she's dead, Triton killed her. I saw it when I -"

"She was cursed. She is still cursed. We won't be able to reach her without a guide." Tink sighed. "According to our sources, the Goblin Prince is using Triton this very instant to wreak havoc on the water, presumably looking for your princess. Ursula is hidden very well, and will have added more defenses, whether she has the princess or not."

Landing next to Tink with a thump, Wendy grimly stared Killian down, her tail curled up into a loose twitch back and forth. Tink scratched her chin affectionately as Wendy made a small chirp. "We could… We could ask Marta. I know her truth and she would -"

"That's brilliant, yes, I'm sure she doesn't know about Triton’s capture. If she did, we would know."

Killian cleared his throat. "So, that means…?"

Wendy smirked. "We're all going to Iceland to get Marta, who will get you in to see Ursula. This can work. It will ."

Tink grinned her sharp toothed grin. "And if it doesn't, at least Marta can finally get closure."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Riding Wendy was stomach turning, even with Killian’s experiences of mishaps with gravity. Tink seemed to have the better seat in Wendy's mane of hair. This combined with the fact that she had frail wings that she would use occasionally gave her a leg up on him, and obviously allowed her to enjoy a more pleasant ride. He, on the other hand, found himself spending most of the trip wishing it was over.

They had at least filled him in on who Marta was, and he had raised an eyebrow at that: a neutral party, one of the last holdouts between the Merfolk and Anisapi schism that made up one part of the war. She was a mistress of Triton's who happened to be some sort of Selkie royalty, another dirty secret left buried in the old world when the Fae realms were divided.

Ursula had taken a firm stance on the Selkies being included in the new realms, free of their lesser status and free of the degradation they received from other Fae deeming them 'animals' or Anisapi deeming them too 'Fae' or 'Hume'. The latter was practically a slur in the Anisapi culture. The loss of the Selkie colony was still a division in Mermaid culture, and the Seafolk did not associate with the Anisapi, or vice versa.

As part of the rebellion, many Seafolk who sided with the Anisapi shed their traditional tails in favor of different choices. Ursula earned the title of Sea Witch for her skill in brewing potions to help the Seafolk do so. She herself chose the gauche form of a sleek, jet-black octopus, spitting in the face of her brother, Triton. His banishment of her, and her own magic creating her secret hideaway of Pacifica for her following, were taboo war stories that the United Realms ignored with gusto - but not Tink or Wendy.

"When you live in the world of the left behind or exiled, the stories they ignore become your culture," Tink said with a shrug. "The royals and all those rules… I hated Pann, don't get me wrong, but I can understand how someone could go crazy. All that stuffy, pretentious bullshit. It's why people are rallying around the Goblin Prince here, even if he's lying straight to their faces - they are desperate for a change. The princess and you working together and her freeing those in Pann's clutches is giving him a run for his jewels, though. She's becoming quite the folk hero."

Killian rolled his eyes. "Both are terrible choices. Good to see that politics never seem to change."

Wendy grunted. "There is cynical truth to that. Now prepare yourselves, we are almost there."

The clouds parted, and the rocky coastline of Iceland appeared as they approached Reykjavik.

Marta lived in a simple home in the countryside on the beach, the dark sand leading right up to her porch. Killian could see right away that she was a Selkie, even without her pelt. Silver gray hair was elegantly pulled into an arrangement over her sharp eyebrows, bright eyes, and rounded face. Her grimace made her look starkly angular, teeth far too sharp to be a human’s, fingers tightening on the black shawl she wore over a navy blue dress.

She spoke in a gravelly and heavily accented voice as they approached, Wendy breaking away to chase the waves with the delight of a kitten.

"What brings you to my door, Tinkerbell, part Siren of the waters near Oikos and part Fairy of the Olive Groves? What companions do you ask me to invite over my threshold? What news reaches me on this shore?" The woman's gaze was eagle-like, her dark tawny eyes lit with gold. Up close she looked regal, and far less tattered.

"I am afraid I bring bad tidings to your door, Marta, and grim news. I wish I came with good fortune, but what I have to tell you would break your heart. It is better I tell you than leave you in ignorance."

Marta sighed, and waved a hand for them to follow her. "I'll make some coffee, and get your Sphinx a bowl of cream. Because you speak the truth, Tinkerbell, I will also give you a potion for her to look Hume if she so chooses."

"Marta," Tink let her eyes widen as they entered the shabby kitchen. "Don't use that -"

"I've been considering reclaiming the word 'Hume' from the slur it has become; especially for those of us who are left and have faced what it means to be looked down upon one way or another. If it offends you, truly, I will refrain." Marta poured coffee into mismatched mugs, and emptied a carton of cream into a patterned bowl. She returned to the deck, setting the bowl on the edge as they sat in deck chairs.

Killian shrugged, and Tink squirmed slightly.

Marta turned her to intense stare at him, looking him up and down. She placed her mug on a table and steepled her fingers. "You stink of Darkness, guilt, and broken promises. What are you?"

And you smell of old fish and briney tea, you awful -

"I'm the Dark One, but my given name is Killian Jones. My family name is -"

"Blackwater." Marta nodded, cocking her head in thought. "I knew your mother and father. Your father was a terrible bastard, and I am sorry for the way he must have treated you boys."

Killian tensed, and the Darkness swirled in anger and betrayal at the old memories. "That was a long time ago."

"Your feelings give you away, but that is not something I am willing to unpack - why have you come?"

Tink gave a heaving sigh, and squared her shoulders as she put down her tea.

"Triton has been captured. He's currently being tortured." Marta dropped her tea cup, her hands shaking. "The Goblins are using his magic to search for Ursula."

Marta let out a noise of despair. "No. No, he - "

"I'm sorry," Tink said quietly, gently rubbing Marta's shoulder. The Selkie looked stricken with panic. "You need to go to Ursula, and that's why I brought the Dark One. He has business with Ursula, and you know the way. Take him, and Ursula can help you both."

"That's… I can do that. He will need a tail or two, but I will do it. Goddess be good, my Triton, oh my heart. Do you believe Ursula can help free him?" Marta trailed off, clutched her chest, rubbing in small circles.

Gain their attention, vessel, we have better things to do than watch this pitiful display of emotions.

"I'm right here, so I can hear this conversation," Killian said dryly. "I just need -"

Tink ignored him. "That's who they pitted him against by trying to storm into Ursula's lair, which… Poor decision on their part, but that's Goblins for you."

"Alright. Are you coming?" Marta asked Tink, and Killian threw up his hands with an exasperated huff.

Tink shook her head. "No. I need to get Wendy to her brothers, and we have a lead to where we can find work."

"You're going to leave me with - " Killian tried to interject, but both women were standing, Marta guiding Tink to the door.

"Be safe. I will see you sooner than later, I hope? Your sisters pop by occasionally when they get a chance. Would you like me to pass on anything?"

"No. They haven't known where I’ve been, and I can't begin that conversation right now. Especially between Roselia and Fawn. It'd be too much." Tink sighed, and Killian moved to the doorway, trying to gain their attention, but became distracted by the sight of Wendy with cream dripping down her face. The Sphinx belched, and Tink let out a laugh, mounting her back. Marta shook her head, and waved as they left, leaving Killian alone to figure out this Marta woman.

"Well." Marta turned to him, with a look of grim determination on her face. "We should hurry, it's a long ways off to get to any of the entrances to Ursula's. You are not able to breathe underwater comfortably, yes?"

No drowning works for you, does it? Not in rum, self hatred, pity, foolhardy attempts at destroying yourself -

Killian ignored the hiss of the Darkness, following her back into her cottage, frustrated by the entire ordeal. "No. Not particularly."

Marta eyed him thoughtfully. Gesturing to a wall of vials and small bottles, she smiled warmly. "How do you feel about an eel tail to go with that dreadful gloom of yours? I have lovely draughts for a Muraenidae that I mixed with a Torpedo marmorata to make a real electric eel. None of those ridiculously muddy knife fish variants, along with a pinch of Myctophid for style. They give you the most lovely glow if you end up in the dark."

"I refuse. I know the risks of messing with these potions - "

"I forget how old and out of touch you are. The risks of these are no longer as threatening, and they really never were." Marta gritted her teeth, taking a breath. Letting it out in a heavy exhale, she traced a finger over the labels. "It was a lie by the Merfolk to keep bloodlines pure. Looking back now, it seems silly to think that these terrible risks only happened to Merfolk, Nymphs, Naiad, Sirens - never to the already mixed kin or those who chose to stay in an animal form."

"That sounds -"

"Like something that the rulers would do? Imagine my surprise at still having to correct Merfolk, Fae, humans, and even my own kind that we don't have to wear a skin completely - that we can be partially female or male Fae. Personally, I wear my seal skin up to my breasts - not because I am modest or opposed to nudity, but because scratching your bosom on the crags is a good way to gather sharks and catch an infection. It also simply hurts like a bitch." Looking at him with humor in her smile, she gave a wink. "Not that you would know. Now, for you I think… Eel or a deep sea shark. Something murky, so you can hide in the gloom, but secretly flashy and with too much ego. I have octopus and squid, but getting the hand of, er, well, eight more hands - it’s not great for beginners. The shark tail is good for speed, but less great for tight maneuvers..."

"I really don't care, as long as it gets us there."

"Well, well, look at you. You are very worried about this princess you care nothing for." Killian froze, stiffening. Marta pressed a bottle of shimmering white liquid into his good palm, the throb under the bandage on the other hand particularly sharp. "I can smell her on your thoughts. To think, Darkness chasing Light. It's kind of romantic - "

Disgusting. After this is over, I believe that her pelt will make nice slippers.

"No. There's nothing like that at all, I just don't want her to be dead. She's a naive woman, with no idea how infuriating her demeanor is. It's easier having her as a Master or Mistress because she doesn't - "

"Sure, it's fine." Marta smiled, pulling gray material up over her body, wearing it like a dress. It clung off her shoulders, but her arms and hands were free, even as she dipped a seal tail into the water where her legs had once been. "Come along, then. It's a long swim."

Killian took a deep breath through his gritted teeth, closing his eyes. Taking a small sip of the vial, the Darkness let out a purr of pleasure at the magic binding to them - not white like Emma's, but darker, almost more black than gray, old and esoteric as it forced its vessel to its knees. Killian tried to hold on, his fingernails scraping gouges into the rockscape of the coast as he changed. Shedding his clothing with quick flicks of magic, and slipping into the cool water, he felt relief finally from the potion’s effects. His long eel body felt like pure muscle, dark and striped coiling strength that propelled him with ease by just a flex in the muscles below the navel.

"Looks good on you," Marta commented, quietly. "And, although we shouldn't, it will scare any merfolk that we come across in the opposite direction. Eel kind aren't welcome in the United Realms without surgery or magic."

"They really went all out to keep themselves as traditional merfolk. That's disgusting," Killian hissed, bubbles rising. His tail pulsed slightly with an electric charge.

"Just another example of blood magic and strength, but in a different way. They fear that they will be lesser by diluting pure traits." Marta's smooth movements were pure grace, schools of fish scattering around her like silver coins. "They don't realize that accepting new blood, new ideas, new growth makes us stronger."

He hummed in agreement, and they let themselves be pulled into the strong southern current, speeding down the coast.

"Why does Nil seem to know where Ursula is if no one can get to her? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of her safety? If he can use Triton to just blow her off the map -"

"Ursula is the only one that can let people in or out with her blessing. That's her curse, and what punishment Triton himself put upon her for her disobedience. Not only did she refuse her tail, but she married a half Fae Warlock, Merlin, who gave them both Anisapi bodies. He was a prolific brewer of potions, better even than Morgana. Ursula still blames herself for his punishment. It was far worse and more cruel than hers by far."

“Are you sure Ursula will welcome us with open, er, arms?”

“I used to be the Selkie princess. I introduced Merlin to Morgana, and she introduced him to Ursula. I am free to come and go as I please. Especially since I visit Merlin in his prison.”

The Darkness gave a strange quiver at the sound of the sorcerer's name. “He’s still alive?”

“He was cursed by Snow Margueryte. ' A Mortal who wants to experience the elements they use for their own gain, straying from natural law, shall be granted their wish tenfold ,'" she recited, lazily back stroking with the current. "He is cursed to be an oak tree, his earth magic forcing him to grow roots. He used to be able to speak but his voice has been almost completely swallowed by the bark."

How fitting of a cage, it seems we were not the only ones kept under royal lock and key.

"Bloody hell."

"I've tried to free him, but my guess is that the curse can only be undone by either Ursula reuniting with him, or Queen Snow reversing it herself. Both are unlikely." Marta paused thoughtfully. "Do you think your Light One could help? She has powerful magic - "

"She's not mine, and I don't know. Emma - the princess, I mean, she is too willing to help and throw herself at sympathetic tasks. While she would probably say yes, it would be reckless for her to do so. I doubt she even could."

"Well, you must have a relationship with her to be so defensive. You smell of Darkness, guilt, and this almost cloying pining - "

"Why don't we just swim in silence, yeah? I don't need some sea mongrel telling me about the notes of my bouquet," he snapped, agitated.

Marta looked at him curiously, but to her credit stayed mum for the remainder of their long journey. It was strange to feel muscles burn that he did not truly have and to experience the raw strength of what he could do in this form. While the eel's body was not meant for these long voyages, he could definitely see its use as they moved closer to the hidden portal that would lead them to Ursula's gates.

Marta had broken the silence that stretched between them to warn him of the tight path they would need to take. Both of them wriggled through an impossible series of tunneling caves, sometimes against currents or in almost pitch black darkness. As far as Killian could tell, the only way Marta could find her way was as a full seal, for at some point she had slipped her cowl completely over her upper half to transform completely. Eventually, they came to a small cylindrical chamber that led down to a shimmering portal at the deep bottom, like a well. Killian went to zip downward, but Marta nipped him, slowly removing her cowl and releasing her head and arms again.

"Stay quiet. Move slow. Just drift down gently with the current. You don't want to hit it too fast or the current on the other side will rip you to shreds…" She slowly pointed to small flickering orbs of pink that had begun to light up around the upper edges of where they had come in. "And you'll upset the Reaper Shrimp."

Killian blinked, almost laughing at the thought but listened, staying still while letting himself float slowly downward. A rock fell from above, most likely jostled by their entrance into the space, and Killian watched it push through the on and off glow of the shrimp. The rock wasn't small, the size of a large orange when it began - it passed a few of the pink creatures and broke, the small monstrosities shearing it to dust loud enough for him to hear the grind.

Killian could suddenly understand why Nil had not found an entry into Ursula's protected waters.

The entry into the portal was strange, his tail hitting first and dragging him in; one minute he was in slow motion and the next was being ripped into a suction-like current, unable to see as it jettisoned him through a path lined by stalagmites. He moved slightly, and the current responded to the sudden resistance by shoving him against one, cleanly slicing the flesh of his shoulder. He hissed, but did not move again.

After what felt like hours, the current roughly deposited them onto a sandy cave floor, a steady path that led to a cavern just visible ahead. Relaxing his tense body, he swam up for air. The water lapped at the soft rock shore, and he slid out of the water to lie on the cold stone, actually tired. There was a loud cough, and he snapped back to attention to see a large face frowning at him.

"I'd say look what the cat dragged in, but Marty, you aren't a cat and damn it if you didn't get pulled by this bastard nine tenths of the way here."

Marta laughed, pulling herself out of the water, and towards the giant woman in front of them. "Hey, Sully."

"Mmmmhmmm. Don't you ' Hey Sully ' me when you drop this cretin in my midst. Dark One, what business do you have with me, in my realm? And remember, you're talking to Ursula the Sea Witch here. I will tear you apart just to watch you knit back together."

Ursula had aged since he last saw her, no longer a young woman, but not old either. Her brown skin was wrinkled at the corners of her eyes, and her forehead showed a pinch where her frown pulled her brows in confusion at their arrival. Her size was still the same as it was when she had fought in battle during the war, the enchantment locking her into a gargantuan form. Tentacles colored in shades of wine, maroon, and nearly pitch black writhed from mottled skin under her navel, suction cups as large as a man's hand stretching along a length of fifteen feet. She moved gracefully around the large chamber, even at her full height that dwarfed Marta and his own many times over as she reached to add ingredients from a carved shelf to a large shell reservoir.

The biggest change was her braids. Once a lustrous and dark shining ebony, many - if not all - were now a silvery violet or white. It made the veins from the magic in her skin that held her in the cursed form she wore stick out, lightning like, glowing dark purple that pulsed lavender over her temples and arms.

"Marta, why have you brought this creature into my safe hold?" Ursula boomed, not looking up from her potion making to acknowledge their entrance, as they stood on the edge of the rocky outcrop. Marta slipped off her seal skin, and bowed low, but Killian spoke before she could utter a word.

"Ursula, Mistress of the Sea and Queen of the magic that holds its secrets. It has been ages since our last meeting." He tried a low bow, but the eel tail that he wore was unstable, coiling on the ground. Marta smacked a hand over her forehead.

Turning, Ursula lowered her gaze to stare with malevolence at Killian, her pupils a bright violet. "Yes, Dark One. That was intentional," she said dryly.

"I have come to see if you are holding a prisoner here, one who is in grave -"

"Oh, you dear, naive, stupid boy. You really have not changed since we last met, have you? I admit that in the past I've been nasty, but you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways. I've repented, seen the light, and made a switch." Ursula tutted, bringing her body completely around to face him. He could see now there were bones, shells, and bleached driftwood twisted around the ends of her braids like beads, some vaguely humanoid. Her chest was scarred and lined on both sides of her ribcage with lightning like pulses of magic. She leaned forward, laying her head on a long arm. Her head was easily the same height as his entire body as she gave him a poke with her thick, tree branch-like finger tipped with long black nails. "What is all your idle babble for? Intimidating me? You think that you can scare me here? That I'll give up a prize just because you march - or slither as it were - your cute little butt in here?"

"I - what?"

"I said, you haven't learned shit from when you were under the thumb of the Darkness completely, spreading its poison through my waters and killing innocent Fae. Even wrapped in this scrumptious little hors d'oeuvre of a package, you still spread death, Dark One. How hard that must be for you. Pretty face, that lays everything to waste. Even without hearing that dark leech, your body language alone speaks nothing but lies. I'm unfortunately taken, though, so a nibble is out of the question."

"I don't know what you're bloody well talking about. I'm here to find the Princess of the damned United Realms -"

"So is the Goblin prince, his sentries, and many others who have come to my door. Yet, you're the only one who has made it past my portal, I'll admit. The person you seek may be here, or they may not. If they were, they'd be either under my protection, or my prisoner. Either way, I wouldn't let you within a tentacle’s length of them." Ursula poked hard with her nail, stabbing against his sternum. She grinned widely, teeth flashing white. "Describe her to me, and maybe I'll remember which she is, a prisoner or a political refugee. I get many Fae flocking to my cauldron. You may have heard that I know a little magic, a talent that I always have possessed. Who knows who all the Merfolk alone I've helped? Some princess is just another day on the books for me."

"No. This isn't a game and I'll - "

"Then leave! Do you think I don't have better things to do? I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day! The position of annoying, death-spreading, evil, dark magic-using man-child has already been filled by Nil, who is wreaking havoc on the ecosystems with his magic. So, what the hell are you doing still standing here?" Ursula boomed, eyes flashing with a malicious gleam. A thick tentacle gripped and lifted him, making to throw him against the rocky cave current.

"Wait!" Marta yelled, and his eel body did what it was built to do, writhing in her slipping grip as electric shock poured off him. Ursula dropped him hard to the ground, Marta wincing with a flinch. "Sorry, I should have warned you. He's an electric eel, Sully, my own formula."

"You and your gods-be-damned potions, Marta. Congrats . I should rake you across the coals for hurting my good tentacle like that," Ursula spat sarcastically, bringing the shocked tentacle up to her face to examine it.

"You want a description of her? Alright." Killian coughed slightly, dazed as he felt the electrical current fade away like pinpricks. Marta shook her head, but he ignored her pleading for him to stop.

"She's pretty, I guess, if you like blonde and aristocracy. Classical beauty, her skin is almost all cream with a touch of sun," he began, licking his lips. His brain felt short circuited and he tried to picture her in his mind’s eye. It felt like it had been too long since he saw her, and while the Darkness was silent in its own daze, a quiet voice whispered gently that yes, it had been too long. It had been too long, and he owed her an apology - so many apologies.

"She's kind, too much for her own good really, well read, funny, bitingly sarcastic with so much wit. Brilliantly smart, but never overbearing, and where there isn't grace in her movement there is purpose instead. She's incredibly strong, so powerful. It's unbelievable that she doesn't know just how much so, or how much she affects others simply by her presence - " The Darkness roared back, and he swallowed bile that rose. "But just as with her family and so many Fae, her 'beauty' and 'purity' is as false as calling a speck of dirt a diamond - she's a vain, shrill, over glorified, annoying, whiny, preening, narcissistic, high born, undeserving, and obstinate brat worth only the crown that will grace her fat head someday. So if you do have her, regardless of whether she's a prisoner or political refugee, let's cut a deal for her to get her off each other's hands, hmm?"

Ursula shook her head, clicking her tongue, while Marta looked on with her hand over her mouth in shock. Someone had brought the Selkie a robe, and a few other women sat with her now, watching him with clear unease.

Ursula spoke coldly. "You have no idea what a pompous, arrogant, assuming fool you look like chasing the princess down here. She's right, you are absolutely oblivious - "

"She's - Emma's alright then? You have her? She's an absolute idiot who needs constant supervision - "

"Says the man who is scandalizing most of my court," Ursula cackled spitefully. He looked to see that the eel potion had worn off, and he was standing nude before the Sea Witch. Against his will, he could feel his ears going red. He waved a hand and his clothes appeared back on his form, just as a chime sounded somewhere down the adjoining corridor.

Ursula sighed, looking tired again. She leveled a harsh stare at Killian.

"Don't you ever get tired of being the villain in these tales? Don't you think you should take a look and see if you can set the story right, especially after all this time? Or are you just a dumbass who has a nice jawline and magic that can destroy an armada?" Ursula gave him a half smirk, and flipped her braids behind her shoulders. Inwardly, Killian flinched at the accusation and how much he didn't want to remember.

But you do remember, don't you? You remember what you did, how good it felt, and how you didn't care about ending your family name as long as you could get revenge. Every part of you that fights it is a liar. There is no happy ending for the Dark One - for you. No, that's not an option for this coward, this milk sop who can't even find a hapless princess who has run away -

Emma's voice filled the chamber, startling him as he tried to determine if it was a trick by the Darkness itself, but no, she was real. She walked in with a red headed woman, both of them drying their hair with linen towels while they wore the standard silken robe that the Selkie seemed to prefer. When she saw him she looked as if she had been struck, rearing back. Somewhere far off, he felt his shoulders go slightly less tense, his relief a tiny sound.

"What is he doing here?" Emma hissed, pointing at him like he was a ghost. He probably looked like some ghoul, he realized, wet hair sticking in all directions and his face unshaven. "Who brought him here?"

"I did. I seek Triton and his freedom; the Dark One seeks his own ends," Marta said, speaking up and standing. Emma took a step back, putting herself behind one of Ursula's thick tentacles. "We both need answers - "

The red head spoke up, in a haughty tone of voice that made Killian immediately believe she was a royal. "And who are you? You're not from this colony. What business do you have with my father?"

Marta looked pained. "We should discuss that in private -"

"No! What business do you have with the King of Atlantica, Selkie?" The red headed woman flushed and stomped her foot.

"I… Oh Ariel, please. I don't want to cause you distress. Just - "

"How do you know my name?"

"Your father and I, we were… We were close. He and I… It's complicated. Look, I heard he was in trouble and I want to help. Please." Marta's pleading tone only further seemed to infuriate Ariel.

"That's not a good enough answer, especially when you travel with the Dark One," Emma hissed, refusing to look at Killian, seemingly trying to compose herself. "The Dark One tried to sell me off to the Goblins, the same ones that hold Triton captive."

"Emma, I -" Killian started, but Emma cut him off, eyes snapping up to look at his face. Her eyes were tired, but fiercely focused in her rage. She looked older, and unlike her companion, was stiffly solemn in her fury.

"You do not have any right to address me so informally, or to speak to me at all!" she yelled. Killian startled slightly, seeing her as if she was stronger, different than when they parted.

"So please excuse Ariel and I for not believing a lying, traitorous pig and his newfound companion,” Emma continued, the defiant coldness in her voice settling over him as he processed her change in demeanor. “Do not address me like we're friends either; that informality has died - is gone. How many days were you alone before you realized that the company you provide is toxic?"

"Please, Swan, hear me out. I came here to -"

"To sell me to a different bidder? Do not call me that, do not come here and act like you have any right to call me Swan. You do not have the right to grovel at my feet. How dare you. Why on earth would -"

"To apologize!" His shouted reply rung through the caves, but Emma simply scoffed at him, looking livid. "Em - Princess, I needed to apologize for my part in the quarrel we had. I was out of line, and I am sorry. Please forgive me."

"You're forgiven. Now, leave."

"No, Emma - That's not what I meant - please talk to me, I -"

"There's nothing to talk about, Dark One. Begone. I don't like looking at you. I don't like hearing you, especially my name said in your voice. I don't like - no, I hate that you are here, and I don't feel safe because of your presence. I hate that you think that you have the right to just walk up to me and demand that things be like - for there to be no walls. Walls you made me build! You can't - you don't ask that of people."

"I'm sorry, but who was left in the middle of a forest without any chance of freedom? I didn't make you do anything. You built your own damned fortress because you are afraid of grief, not because - "

"Leave. I am not afraid of grief, and the hypocrisy of that statement is… Just leave. I can't do this, and I can't stand you. I am glad I left you there. I only wish I had never met you at all."

She stormed away. As he tried to pursue her again, the thick black and burgundy tentacle was back, gripping him tightly around the waist and throwing him to the ground away from Marta. Ursula towered above him, while Marta and Ariel glared at him from their sides of the cavern.

"That poor girl," Marta tutted shaking her head. "I thought you said she would be happy to see you?"

"I thought she would be. She could barely manage on her own when we were last - "

Ursula and Ariel laughed at that, a tentacle smacking him back down as he tried to stand.

"Emma can handle herself just fine, and has been. Alice and Robyn left her here because of that, and their trust in the princess speaks volumes. We have had plenty of time for her to see that she isn't some damsel like you tried to make her out to be." Ariel shrugged, her voice icy towards him. "I don't think she needs your brand of saving anymore."

Ursula chuckled lowly. "Nope. The princess is quite formidable without you. Shame that you are the last to notice. Alice even said she saved your sorry ass at Pann's club - "

"We worked together in that instance. She - "

"Prevented you from being dinner for a Sphinx. At least, that's how half of the Fae community is telling it. The Princess is becoming quite the rallying cry here in the realm of those left behind," Ursula drawled, the tip of a tentacle delicately lifting his chin as his jaw ticked.

"She was popular in the United Realms too, and people still believe she will save them." Ariel chimed in. "My father and I believe it - we prayed to Poseidon to bless her. I know she'll help; she's taken to the water like a natural - "

"Is Triton alright? Have you heard anything about his treatment, or if he's been hurt?" Marta blurted out, wringing her hands. Ariel shot her a look that was clearly full of mistrust.

Killian glanced between the Sea Witch and Marta, unsure what to make of what was happening, even as Ursula sighed and rubbed her fingers against her temples.

"Go on Marta. The girl deserves to know."

"I deserve to know what? We don't mix with Selkie kind. You're lazy filth who refuse to worship the gods, or serve their chosen kings. There's nothing to know."

Killian bristled, and the tentacle next to him came down in a hard smash, the boom echoing throughout the caves.

"You will not use that language in my domain, little Mermaid," Ursula gritted out, half yelling at Ariel.

Selkies in both forms poked their heads in from smaller caves, watching with varying expressions. Many were angry, and he couldn't blame them for their derision at the Mermaid princess’ dismissal.

"Your mother was a lovely Mermaid, and truly kind,” Marta began. “I adored her and respected her for what she and Triton had. It was something I could never give him, even though we were very much in love before he was pushed into their marriage. Then she passed in that terrible accident, and all of you had been born. I could not bear to bring my desires to Triton while he mourned the loss with his children. I grieved for Calypso, for Triton to lose such a wonderful wife and friend, and for you girls to lose such a fierce mother. She loved you so very much. Your aunt Sully, er, Ursula was trapped here. No one had seen Morgana since the sword in the lake incident with Arthur and her exile North… With Poseidon gone on to follow his mother in death, Triton had no one left. No one but me. And I missed him.

"Your father and I reconnected. It was like falling back into a lazy current, right where we left off. He made promises that he would change the laws so we could be together, but he refused to let me meet any of you, refused to let me live in the United Realms with your kind, refused to understand why my kind will not worship your grandfather. Instead, he kept me hidden like an embarrassment, just like before when Poseidon forced us apart - but this time, my heart couldn't take that pain again. I told him to find someone who he didn't have to hide, and to stop lying to himself, to stop lying to me - and I swam as far as I could. I've lived with the humans in Iceland ever since. Your father never gave chase."

Ariel wrinkled her nose, looking at Marta with disgust. "But you're, you're a - he couldn't risk letting more of your kind disrupt our civilization, we are peaceful - "

"What have I done, what has my kind done, that would make us so disgusting in your eyes? What disservice have we brought you, when you, a Mermaid, love a human?"

Ariel sputtered, her face going as red as her hair. "That is not the same in any way, shape, or form. Humans aren't Fae or privy to Fae politics -"

Killian laughed out loud, and eyes drew to him from all corners of the cave. Rocking on his heels to regain his normal swagger, he waved a hand accusingly at Ariel. "So, because he has no idea how anything works and is ignorant to all that has happened, it's alright. Are you keeping a pet, Merprincess? Or do you actually love him?"

"Like you know anything about love, you - "

"He's right, Ariel. What do you love about this human?" Ursula asked, her eyes dark and dangerous.

"Eric is kind, funny, smart - he loves animals and the sea. He isn't like other mortals, at all. He wants to be with me even though we're different, and promised me that he would bridge the gap between our worlds in anyway he could - "

"Then he is much better than you or my idiot brother," Ursula snapped. "You treat humans better than your kin, see in them what you should see in us. Do you not know what humans do to us?"

"Eric would never -"

"I believe you," Marta said quietly. "And I think your Eric probably is all those things, because Triton is too. He spoke about your kindness, your love, and your passionate curiosity that drove him insane. He was always the most worried about you. I wanted to meet his wild daughter so badly. My hopes were higher for this meeting, Ariel."

Out of one of the caves, Killian saw Emma sit with two plump spotted seals, her eyes noticeably red-rimmed even at this distance as she watched Ariel.

"I just… what could my Father like about you? You are dignified for a Selkie, and seem more intelligent, but I just don't understand why he would risk - "

Emma booed loudly from her small cave, other Selkies following suit. Ariel shot her a glare, but Emma only shrugged with her own eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you trying to risk everything for some human?" Killian asked, and Ursula allowed him to move closer to the Mermaid. "Why is any Fae lesser than you, especially one that your kind used to share this sea with? Is there any particular reason why you have to make yourself feel superior to them?" Killian pointed to the Selkies, who clapped and cheered their approval. He heard Emma's voice among them, and glanced at her. For a moment, he thought he caught a hint of approval in the sea glass color of her eyes.

"I don't need a lecture from you of all people, the man who murdered his own kind so indiscriminately. Blood ran thicker in the current than water that day. I may be young, but my people tell their children tales of the nightmare you created, Dark One." Ariel jabbed a finger at him, jutting out her chin. "If I had not escaped the Goblin's clutches in Emma's palace, I would never have imagined in my wildest day dreams that you would try to convince anyone that you were sorry for your actions. I lend a command to Princess Emma, and henceforth demand that you leave."

Scrubbing his face, Killian pointed at Ariel with annoyance. "You can't 'lend a command'. That’s not how any court protocol works!"

"Then I'm demanding you leave, you awful bully! In case you need reminding, I'm a princess, I can do as I please without protocol!" Ariel shrieked at him, and he saw Emma drop her face into her hand, most likely in embarrassment.

"Like hell, I'm not -" Killian began to protest, but Ursula slammed a tentacle between the two of them, separating him from the Mermaid.

"The Dark One has asked for a chance to redeem himself to Princess Emma. He has failed, but I am not in a position to grant him safe passage away from their and our mutual enemy. I will allow him to stay as long as he does not make my other guests uncomfortable or unsafe, and I will have Marta chaperone him. I ask that you, Ariel, use your abilities to follow through with our accord; bring me the shipwrecks so we may face this Goblin menace head on, so I may lend you and your beloved Human help in freeing your father. As a steward of goodwill, I will house Emma in this emergency, and Killian may take one ship once we are victorious in freeing Triton. Until then, Marta and Killian will also help you with this task. Maybe even redeeming themselves, yet."

"I need some time to process this," Ariel huffed, her nose in the air. She slunk back into the water, her tail flipping with a splash.

"Make up your mind quick; you act as if I have all day to play royal mediator. I damn well better be freed of my curse after this!" Ursula yelled after her.

Killian watched Emma slip on a cuff, her body partially turning to jade, silver and gold, a tail flipping below the surface almost silently. The caves dripped, and he was left to watch her leave again while Marta discussed how they would go about bringing sunken shipwrecks into the cave. Watching the water for any sign of the princess, he tried to formulate some way to get the shard.

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Emma felt like she had been slapped hard across her face, head still reeling from seeing Killian again. He had followed her, the audacity of that bastard to have found her, to try and speak with her -

She let out another shriek into the empty water of the kelp forest, letting herself float down to the sandy bottom. Looking up, she couldn't see the surface, only the brackish depths and swaying strings of long underwater vines. Her chest ached, and she took a deep breath of the salty water, relishing the coldness of it. He had looked so disheveled, had looked at her like he was seeing a phantom too, but for an entirely different reason -

She had changed. She wasn't the princess he knew any longer, but the beginning of something completely different - more resilient, more in control, more cold and world weary, more cautious. Killian did not know her any longer. Alice and Robyn had bolstered her, emboldened her to be stronger than ever. Emma had learned to, as Alice put it, give no fucks . Watching Ariel and her antics just proved that. Ariel’s complaints about their hosts’ simplicity set Emma's teeth on edge, and that was only one of the more banal issues Emma took to heart. Ariel could be shallow, brash, impulsive, and petulant in ways Emma had never dreamed of being.

Whereas Emma's parents had raised her to work hard, to be studious, well rounded, and perfect in matters of decorum, Ariel was the youngest of seven sisters. She was a gifted musician, but skipped classes, caused mischief, disrupted others, created mayhem with her magic, refused to listen to her father's reasoning, and found no joy in any of the harder aspects of ruling a kingdom. The woman all but balked at hard work, expecting to be waited on. She seemed more content to have Emma as a source of gossip than as an ally. It was clear that Ursula was frustrated with Ariel as well, even if they were both frightened for Triton.

Ursula's idea of using the old Fae armada that currently lay in half-restored pieces near her kingdom was ingenious, as far as Emma could tell. Eric, Ariel's beau, was happily providing more ships that people were scrapping in his shipyard for the cause, and Ariel's talent of making portals through the water was working exceptionally well when they were done piecing together new parts and old like a jigsaw to make something new. Ursula had amassed three ships already that floated in a cave, waiting to be boarded. The Sea Witch had confided her hopes in Emma early on, realizing her competency.

"If this all goes right, if we free Triton and he knows that I helped, I hope he will return me to my original form so I can beseech Queen Snow to appeal Merlin's curse. It has been too long since I have hoped for any sort of redemption, but your arrival heralds in the beginning of a new era for the forgotten that lay here in wait."

"I can't say my mother will be able to give you an audience, Ursula, but I pray to the goddess that she does."

"Thank you, Princess Emma, you are too kind."

"I am nothing but a weary bearer of hindsight."

Ariel swam by, sighing in a whine.

"So. What do you think of this project Ursula has me on? I can't believe I have to work with that… that Thing , and then that Selkie who believes she can chastise me - "

"Both parts of that are worrisome but for different reasons," Emma said with her own tired sigh and a shrug that rustled the grit she lay on. "Very different reasons, actually - I am worried about you and Kil - the Dark One working together, because he's… He isn't a good person. But I'm more worried for this Marta woman, to be honest."

Ariel scoffed. "You have to be the most bleeding heart royal I've ever met to believe her Selkie sob story. I'm surprised she's not wearing a crocodile skin with the tears she was faking over Daddy. My father would never sink as low as to encourage a Selkie’s attention, let alone dally with one." Ariel floated down to lay beside Emma, and Emma moved slightly so she could rest on her side, observing Ariel critically.

"She was telling the truth, Ariel." Emma stated firmly, tail betraying her agitation with its quick flicks in the sand. "She seems like a very nice woman, and she would have to be to not get chewed up and spat out by the Darkness that permeates his presence."

"But Emma, didn't he - didn't you say that you remembered - " Ariel began, and Emma held up a hand with irritation written in her scowl.

"Yes, I might have remembered that I was stupid when I was drunk, and he got us home. A lot happened after that, so that kiss was inconsequential, and a symptom of the chaos that was our narrow survival. After that, when Elsa… He showed his true colors."

"Yeah. I wish that you had someone fighting for you like I do with Eric. I can't wait to give him that cuff back, I miss him," Ariel said dreamily, dismissing the seriousness of the conversation again. "Your talk of kissing reminded me."

Emma smiled a strained but polite grimace. Squaring her shoulders, she rose up slightly to cross her arms and change her stature to reflect her annoyance. With a hand on her hip and the other extended to gesture, she spoke.

"It's up to you, regardless, Ariel, but I will say that regardless of what you think of Marta or customs outside your own, I do not find your views befitting anyone I would have in my close confidence. You should lead by example and make your own choices from your own experiences. Talk to Marta."

Ariel stuck up her nose, sitting up with arms crossed against her chest. "By that logic, I should give the Dark One a chance as well!" she yelled as Emma turned to leave her alone to stew.

She shrugged before disappearing into the kelp, looking at Ariel with pity. "I did, and look how that turned out."

It wasn't a far swim back to the secret entrance to Ursula's lair, and then into the Selkie caves. The three main chambers were connected by tunnels that spread out to thousands of honeycomb style chambers, some with water flowing through them in little creeks that babbled musically into waterfalls that fell into the bottom pool. Ursula protected the first chamber, her fleet in a cave off of that and her cauldron near the center. The bottom was almost completely submerged with a proliferation of crystals and slabs of limestone, while a current swept along the floor that could take even an experienced diver by surprise. You could enter through that opening, but to leave the same way would cut you to ribbons, and Ursula guarded the other exit that lay at the edge near the other chambers, her own among them. The middle chamber was filled with rock platforms where trees and ferns took root in small gardens and a small waterfall fed a pond covered in lotus blooms. The greenery seemed to attract the nymphs, who giggled profusely at Emma walking past with no tail or pearl bead littered hair.

The last chamber was for socializing, dotted with tables and balconies. Different flags and banners waved in beautiful fabrics. Crystals and moss grew that lit up in the evening darkness, and changed the water color to a startling bright blue. A volcanic spring heated pools on the far side for cooking and cleaning, while the cooler pools allowed for bathing and relaxation.

Emma's room was in one of the higher areas, a small cave with a ledge for a pallet and her things. A few steps cut into the rock led down to a brook that carved its path past a slight bend and into the chamber she had met with Ursula in. A curtain covered the archway that led to where the brook turned, allowing for privacy even at this height.

A clothesline was also provided, and Emma had used it with gusto when she first arrived. It was when she discovered that both her white gown from the failed appeal so long ago and her blue dress were covered in blood: Goblin, her own, and Elsa's… Emma was thankful that the caves were set up so that very few heard her screams when the panic sporadically struck, when all she could do was hold the fabric and weep as that night played over and over in her head.

Occasionally she found sleep, but it was hard to get real rest. Since the attack, when she dreamed, visions of Nil all but ruined those completely. She had to stay strong and focused, but everything felt wrong. Even her movements felt delayed, but pride would not allow her to go to Ursula or Ariel with her complaints.

Her mind fell back to Killian, and Ursula's decision for him to stay. There was no doubt that they might run into each other, but as long as she was under Ursula's protection and good graces, it was not as if she could leave the waters. He was probably already trying to locate where she was staying in the cave system. He was an even match to her stubbornness, to her great consternation. She considered having Ursula just put him out anyway, knowing the Sea Witch would do so without a thought beyond how much of a 'poor unfortunate soul' he would be on his own; however, it left her with a mouth full of ash. She would prove to be not much more than a damsel if she could not dismiss him without a mediator.

That was one of the worst things: it felt as if she was ripping old skin away from new whenever she wanted to remember the good, and not what he was, what he did, what he said. There was no good. She had imagined it when she was drunk, high on adrenaline, confused, and exhilarated just to be alive - imagined how he felt against her like some idiot debutante that he had fled from. That in and of itself should have been enough, but he had lied about it, so blatantly even; the way he had looked at her as he acted playful in those moments before she had failed Elsa was different than before.

That was the only regret she held, and the only unspoken matter left between the two of them that Emma was willing to issue amends for. It was her fault Elsa was dead, the guilt squarely on her shoulders no matter how she dissected those moments in her mind. Every argument that could be made started with the catalyst of her arrival, and ended with her failure to dispatch the Goblin or heal Elsa. Even though the blade had clearly hit Elsa’s lung and part of her heart, Emma couldn't understand why she froze, why she didn't try to heal her friend regardless, why she didn't exhaust herself in every attempt. It haunted her; between nightmares of Nil, panic attacks, and her lack of sleep, she wondered how anyone managed to survive.

And while every part of her screamed to make amends like the diplomatic daughter of royalty she was, what good would it do for anyone? Emma curled further into herself, wishing she didn't feel all at once surrounded, smothered even, but still so alone.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

The morning of their mission to procure the rest of Ursula's armada was bright and serene. Marta was excited and anxious to spend time with Ariel and her human paramour. Killian focused his attention on simply hammering out the work and implementing a plan of action that would allow him to at least get Ariel to speak to Emma, potentially softening her to the idea of speaking with him. The sea princess was unlike Emma in many ways, and prone to falling for the pitfalls he set, or simply biting onto bait he placed to fish for more info. That was, until Emma herself joined their merry mission.

If he had thought she looked tired from afar, up close she was clearly exhausted, barely functioning as she lazily swam with Ariel, who whispered to her in a concerned manner. Killian heard snippets of their conversation, the Darkness gleefully taking in the scent of Emma's weakness.

If an accident were to happen where we could get the shard, no one would be any the wiser. Especially with how close the princess will be to a portal leading to waters outside Ursula's domain.

A pleasurable current ran up his spine, the Darkness growing more fond of his eel form every time he donned it. Killian had caught Emma staring; and even in her practically asleep state, fascination was obvious on her face as she watched his tail cut through the water or curl in fluid motions.

Not fascination, in disgust and horror. Don't think that she is not still scared of you just because she managed to raise her voice a few decibels. Focus.

Ariel opened a portal easily, swimming in quick circles with a swirl of magic that opened to the true ocean. The water was dark, much colder, and much more unruly. Killian and Marta struggled through the opening, Ariel following behind as Emma gave a wan wave while holding it steady with her own magic.

Only a few yards in, he glanced back and the small portal was barely a glow through the choppy waves. They were going to bring a boat through this?

"I know that this looks crazy, but Eric's up top on the skipper and he'll help with the extraction. We just have to attach the chains to the hull, and pull it through."

Killian looked up; he could barely make out the shape of a large boat floating above, the rusted chains slowly grazing the sea floor and sending up clouds of murky silt.

They pulled the chains over the hull of the first barely held together ship, its wrecked carcass shuddering through the portal with a groan. Emma looked pale from using her magic to widen the portal, but ushered them through easily.

The next ship was buried in a deep quagmire of sand which required Ariel and Marta both to help him, along with a few other Selkie, Nymph and Naiads. Sandy clouds billowed in thick columns from where they dug, rising and falling thick enough to make them cough. They worked for what felt like hours, scooping sand, pulling, and digging out the sediment that resettled, only to repeat again and again. The water grew progressively more rough, waves rattling and jerking the chains, causing more sand to shift. Thunder cracked from above and a green bolt of lightning illuminated the water so brightly that the seafloor looked bathed in other worldly emerald sunshine. Green coated where the bolt hit, leaving a shiny residue that seemed to boil the water before fading.

The party scattered, fleeing towards the portal desperately at the sign of magic while Ariel raced upwards towards her human lover without any worry for her own safety.

"Ariel! Look out, stop!" Marta darted after her as sea animals in groups of unnatural and dissimilar species swam towards them from the surface of the water. Killian shot upwards, shocking with electricity several seals that circled the women while pulling another's jaws away from Marta's shoulder. Red began to rise from the wound, Marta's cry of pain barely audible over the roar of the surf while the pummeling current briefly dazed him. Ariel was tearing gulls away from her as she tried to breach the surface, a great cracking noise and thunder rattling his teeth as he fought off another onslaught of seals.

"I thought seals liked and listened to Selkies?" he managed to yell, Marta throwing jets of scalding water at schools of what looked like jellyfish.

"These sea creatures are poisoned or bewitched. Jellyfish usually just float - they don't hunt like this, and we do have kinship to seals - Ariel, oh Atlantis, watch out!" Marta abandoned her attempts as she pushed Ariel aside. A piece of heavy debris hit her as the ship above gave a giant metal groan. Ariel didn't even look back as she grabbed at a piece of debris, pulling out a human man who was clearly unconscious.

"Move, we have to get him through the portal, and back to the air!" Ariel shrieked, and Killian crested the surface to look above, even as waves and birds battered him. A tall, wide, patchwork metal ship glowed green in the circle of a storm, speeding towards them. Goblins . Grabbing a floating glass jar, he dove below, opening the sealed container upside down and handing it to Ariel.

"Go! Get him through the portal!" Killian shouted at Ariel, and she was gone in a flash.

The water was lit again by the ghastly green lightning, and Killian searched for Marta desperately before the light gave way to murk again. She was pinned between a large metal piece, weakly fighting off fish, and he dug to free her as she whimpered. Pulling her to him, she went limp, and he sped towards the portal. Ariel was in front of him, pulling on the chains that had fallen, her brow strained as she pulled the ship they had been working on through so they could slip past. He could hear Emma’s cries from the other side of the portal ringing out as he helped push the ship through, her calling for Ariel and Marta.

Ariel pushed Eric through the minute there was a big enough gap, straight into Emma’s arms, screaming at her to get him to air. Emma was gone in an instant as the mermaid swam in circles to keep the portal open, the ship inching along as Killian handed a Siren Marta's unconscious body through the widening gap. Ariel yelled at him, roughly elbowing him as a shark barreled towards them, its dead eyes glowing green and jaw wide with sharp teeth. Killian hit it hard with an electric charge, stunning himself with the force of the current. In the moment of dazed consciousness that came after, he heard Ariel shriek, the shark too incensed to be affected by the shock as it bit down on her tail. Killian punched it hard in the nose, willing the portal to hold, to stay open as her circles stopped. The realization dawned on him of what he'd have to do, and he braced himself.

Don't you fucking dare you -

Before the Darkness could seize up his muscles, he shoved Ariel roughly through the portal against the ship's backside, watching her wide eyed stare as it blinked into nothingness before him. The shark circled back, along with more seals, more fish, and a swarm of jellyfish. Fighting what he could, he was shocked to feel a warm hand yanking him backwards, the portal going closed in front of his eyes as he was dragged through.

He turned to see Emma, who let go of him as if she'd been burned. Red hung in the clear waters, her face pale and cast in a greenish tone. Emma panted, her eyes closed as she let her chest heave.

"Emma, are you al-"

Emma shot away from him, fleeing through the gathering crowd. The injured were being pulled back into the cove and into the caves where they presumably could be treated.

The princess is weak, now is your chance, we can break her -

He swam into the caves, only to be greeted to the sight of Marta being bandaged in fish scales, gauze, and kelp. Robes lay in piles by the upward slope, and he wrapped one around himself as he willed the magic controlling his eel form away to transform back. There was no sign of Emma, although Ursula was moving all her tentacles at once, handing out towels, gauze, fish skin bandages, poultices, potions, salves, and lotions. Ariel sat near Marta, still with a tail, cupping her humans face as he worried about the bite on her thigh and applied pressure with a cloth. The sounds of moaning and whimpering filled the cave coming from all over and echoed through the halls. The Darkness purred at the sound and his stomach turned over in disgust.

"Killian, oh Goddess' I thought -" Marta started, as she began to tear up, before suddenly wrapping him in a tight hug. He froze, awkwardly trying to pull away as she cried. "You saved us, you saved Ariel and Eric, and we left you -"

"If there's one thing I am good at, it is surviving." Freeing himself from her hold, he kicked a rock with his bare foot, and muttered under his breath, "I always survive."

Ariel looked up at him with a strange look of appraisal. "I owe you - we owe you our lives. Eric wouldn't have made it without that air, and you pushed me through while that shark -"

"Yes, I was there. I don't need to relive the buggering memory." He gritted out. "I need -"

"Name it, and I'll make it happen if I can," Ariel said, wincing slightly as she adjusted her position.

"Where's Emma?"

Ariel winced again, this time from his question. "Except for that. Leave her alone, she's - "

"Help me get back into her graces. That's my request for the debt you owe me for saving you." Killian crossed his arms, watching the flustered mermaid princess weigh her options. Pointing to her grim-faced mortal paramour, he offered his good hand. "For saving both of you. Shake on it."

"Emma does not want to see you, she's made that clear even to me," Eric began, and Killian glared at him with a crazed half smile.

"I wasn't aware that I asked you, mortal. If you're speaking for your woman, you may want to first discuss her opinions about you being an inferior species to her. In many of our views, a pet or play thing." Ariel looked horrified as the man looked at her with hurt.

"Ariel, what does he mean?" Eric asked, and Killian chuckled softly.

"Should I elucidate on who exactly deserves rights in your opinion, darling?" Killian smirked, and Ariel glared at him.

"She's in the upper east part of the caves. Follow the green turtle carvings. Please just let her be."

"Killian -" Marta began, but he shook a finger. The Darkness rose proudly in his chest.

"Oh no no no no, I'll do without the suggestions. You three owe me a debt, which I fully intend to collect. I'll expect your cooperation from now on, as I could have easily let all of you be chum. Start thinking of ideas to get Emma to trust me again while I do some work of my own."

"You're a bastard," Marta spat.

Killian laughed, turning on his heels as he magicked his clothing back on. Shooting her a cocky wink, he called over his shoulder, "And don't you forget it, love."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Emma was sure she was breaking, her body too hot and breathing ragged as if she had eaten glass. The red in the water, the cries of pain, the portal closing around Ariel as Killian’s hands disappeared back into the dirty dark water as a shark flashed by… The stab of panic and despair made her swallow bile. She could not lose another, not another, not even if she hated him -

Opening the portal she grabbed blindly, gripping his shoulder, the feeling of a harsh electrical charge making her fingers numb. She curled them through it, wrenching him back as the shark shot towards them, dead eyes and teeth all she could see as the portal closed.

She let go of him as soon as possible, clutching her hand as it regained feeling. The world was spinning, the single minded focus of saving him giving way to realization of what she had done, to the sounds, the taste and smell of the blood in the water in her mouth. Nausea hit her roughly, a metal ball churning in her stomach, forcing her to close her eyes and steady her breathing. There was so much red, too much red -

"Emma, are you al-"

Her body reacted for her, choosing flight instead of fight. Pushing past the onslaught of Fae that were swimming out of the cave towards the sounds, Emma ripped off her cuff and threw on a robe as she ran. Twisting through tunnels and chambers, she found a path that led downwards, stumbling onto the beach's multicolored sand. Light flooded from a hole high above, tinting the still waters with the different colors of crystals that lay at the bottom.

Falling to her knees, Emma let out the first sob, digging her hands in the sand as it echoed around her.

Sbe hated this. It was weakness, her emotions in the way of her duties. She should be healing, should be composed - she needed to prove that she was no damsel in need of rescue. This wasn't resilience, this wasn't control, and this was nowhere near strength. She was failing, failing in every aspect of her change for the better. How could she ever prove to be a leader like this? Another cry shook her, her hands shaking even as she dug them further into the shore. Why? Why couldn't she control this, push it away, push it down and lay a smile over it?

Emma thought of her mom, the tired smile she gave that her eyes did not reflect. Emma had only seen her give it when she was upset or something was amiss, and she wondered if it was the same smile she gave delivering news about deaths in the same bloody water, the same red-tinged depths.

Her stomach heaved, the taste of copper on her tongue making her retch. There was nothing in her stomach apart from a few mint leaves she had chewed, her appetite far diminished, but her body tried to push anything out of her throat. Footsteps from the corridor surprised her, and she dreaded being found, curling herself into a ball. There was no one she wanted to see her like this, her old flaws laid out like a spill of ink into clear water. Peeking out as the footsteps stopped, she saw black boots against the rock hewn floor, just before the sand. There was quiet for a moment and she shut her eyes tight. Not him. Anyone else but him.

Footsteps started away from her and her stomach violently lurched with panic, even as she was glad her hands were buried so she could not reach for him. Flashes of Elsa's hand going limp mad her lungs tighten, images coming unbidden, fast and without stop. Her body and mind weren't her own anymore, these reactions getting worse, like a flood that could not be contained. Her heart beat out of her chest, and she flopped on her back shivering. This was a terrible way to suffer. Her father's bleeding skull in her mother's lap was in sudden focus as a sharp whine took over the noise around her.

She couldn't breathe, everything crushing at once, but then she was being sat up by soft hands -

"Emma. Emma it's okay, take a breath for me and focus on my voice."

Emma whined in response, opening her eyes to see a worried Robyn examining her. Alice stood behind her, moving from foot to foot, and wringing her hands.

"She's having a panic attack. He said that she hadn't looked well and fled here," Robyn commented, placing a cool rag on Emma's forehead. Emma sighed in slight relief, still shaking and numb in her fingers, toes, and legs. "Emma, have you eaten much today?"

"Nuffin'." Emma bit out, teeth chattering. Robyn's face fell, her eyebrows knitting together.

Alice knelt by her side, holding her hand. "He said she looked tired, too… Emma, babe, are you not sleeping? Are you not eating?"

Emma looked away, unwilling to meet Alice's eyes with her own. She attempted to curl her body away, but Robyn held her firm.

"You have to take care of yourself, too," Robyn said slowly, wiping at Emma's brow. "You can't keep every emotion inside and bottle everything up. You can't just ignore the pain and hope things get better, you need to talk about it, to take care of yourself and let people know if it's too much - "

"I'm scared to," Emma admitted, crying harder. Alice hugged her tightly, and they sat together as Emma lost herself in her grief. After some time, a strange catharsis set in, and they sat back together in soft conversation.

"Why are you both back? I thought you were going to Merlin to see if my magic could free him?" Emma murmured, her voice hoarse.

"Well…" Alice began, exchanging a glance with Robyn.

"He wasn't there," Robyn said slowly, with a sigh. "The tree stump is, as if it was cut down, but there's no indication of when, or by who, and if they cut it down we have no idea if he's alive or - "

Alice lightly touched Robyn on the shoulder, and she stopped. Emma nodded, chewing her lip hard enough to hurt. Another person her parents had probably destroyed.

"That's not what brought us here, though. Tink and Wendy are looking for more on Merlin, covering leads and rumors, because we - Well, someone needed us here," Alice said, her voice strange.

"Me." Emma sighed, her resignation and frustration flaring.

The two exchanged glances again, Robyn nervously adjusting her glasses while Alice twirled a blonde strand of her wildly curled hair.

"No, actually," Robyn mumbled.

Alice took Emma's hand again, examining her palm with interest. "You know, I can read palms right? Look at that love line, so rocky at first, and there's a little chip out of your li - "

"Who was it then?" Emma asked, making Alice tense.

Robyn looked Emma dead on, her face serious. "What is your relationship with the Dark One?"

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