#ESPECIALLY since she goes to paul for help regardless!

[hajimehinata]

i gave you all i had, i did

day 5 : sacrifice ( from @adfaugust )

all he’s ever done, he did it for this family.

tyler’s long been used to hours of work with little reward, underpaid for hard labour and chalking it up to his family name. the world’s out to get him, he’s always known it, has been told so time and time again by the holt matriarch. and he knows better than anyone that sharon wouldn’t lie, has been an honest woman from the day she was born. if she ever was dishonest, it’s cause she had to be, cause she wasn’t given another option. but ma’s honest, gets her way through respect built from her steely and admirable nature. sharon, impossible not to respect with her fingers poised elegantly around a cigarette. lord knows tyler gladly picked up that habit for a few stolen seconds of her company. always wishing blindly to soak up her presence, as if it would somehow cure him of his own inferiority, childishness she frowned upon. he always feels adult standing next to her — ’cept for when he don’t, when he feels like he’s quakin’ in his boots just being near her. tells himself it’s because he loves her, because he can’t stand the thought of her coming to harm. knows that he’s her protector and that’s all he is, and for a holt, that’s a blessing. no higher honour than to be at sharon’s side, making sure their shitheel of a pa don’t try anything. 

never strikes him that he might be thinking backwards, that the person he’s afraid of is the very person he loves the most. so wrapped around her finger he can’t see it for what it is, embraced into her perfumed storytelling, lies that sound like the truth, until tyler can’t help but believe in her. she’s his ma, and she needs him, everyone does. shoulders heavy burdens so she don’t have to, under the firm belief that he had a choice, but that no sane man would choose the other option.

what man would leave his ma to suffer all alone? none that are mannerly or polite, none that really care for her. tyler’s signed away his life, all twenty-five years of it thus far and whatever rest of it that cruel fate gives him. quickly revises the thought, since he oughta be grateful for what he has — the opportunity to be there for his ma, for his brothers. 

still doesn’t stop the white-hot jealousy from bubbling up in a weary chest when he sees how easily dale and jay are awarded with ma’s attention. don’t know the last time she called him sweetheart — or if she ever has. keeps blindly charging forward, since he knows why dale’s got ma’s heart; no one could hate a face like that or deny him a thing. and jay… as much as he don’t contribute, as much as he ain’t really one of them ( as much as his sensitive nature is rewarded when tyler’s was long stamped outta him, told time and time again that he’s the eldest and real men gotta keep their upper lip stiff ) … sharon’s affectionate towards the golden boy because he reminds her of that sister of hers. that woman who got herself knocked up and imposed herself on her charitable sister, only to wind up dead and leaving her screaming kid behind for sharon to care for like he’s hers.

( and if tyler had to pick up those motherly responsibilities, it’s cause ma obviously couldn’t, not after her own sister had died, and no one could have expected her to be well enough to take care of a kid or her three-year-old and certainly not her seven-year-old little man, the nickname brooke gave him as she pinched a solemn cheek still ringing in his head — )

— but ain’t he the same as brooke, now? running off to save his own skin when dale’s … a sharp pain lancing through his chest, solid evidence of how he’s failed the family. still feels the sting on his cheek when ma told him clear as day — he ain’t got this, he wasn’t responsible enough, never good enough. and selfishly he wonders how long he has to sweat and toil for … her approval, but he’d never say that. sharon don’t give out praise that ain’t earned, and tyler never earned it a day in his life. no matter how hard he worked. no matter how little he slept. no matter how kind he was to his charity case of a cousin. 

and he’s doing everything he can, even if ain’t good enough, even if it ain’t perfect. tells himself this is the best he can do for the ones he’s lost — protect himself cause he’s the only one left to protect her. when dale’s gone, pa’s in some hospital after his act of cowardice, and they had to leave jay behind when the cops were too close for comfort. he’s the only one left, and sharon’s safety’s all that matters. they come up with a plan, her and her only child, and there’s an unspoken understanding that passes through ‘em. the knowledge that they’re all they’ve got anymore, that they have to stick together. 

it’s everything he wanted. least, he thought it was. until jay shows back up on their doorstep and tyler’s left to stare. a brother back from the dead and the short-lived attention from his ma itching at the back of his ribcage. forced to think horrible thoughts, wondering if it was jay all along who took this from tyler. if sharon’s affections were only doled out to the youngest boys because that love’s finite, and because jay just had to be difficult, ruin things by taking that book and killing dale, the sting of a motherly slap across the cheek still smarting. can’t accept that he wants more than he’s got, so it’s jay’s fault. that festering itch getting worse until it’s damn near unbearable. it’s jay on the doorstep of the cabin and not dale, not his baby brother who sat on his lap and babbled to him in half-formed sentences, who didn’t leave him ( didn’t leave the family, comes the mental correction ) to go galavanting off in the woods. 

still, tyler takes first watch. is used to staying up and expects that neither ma nor jay will wake up for a second watch. maybe he’ll catch an hour or two, but he ain’t counting on it. more important that sharon gets her rest, and it’s not like tyler trusts jay to stay up and keep an eye out. not after he found out about brooke, the long-kept secret that shoulda been told to him long ago, so he could understand why he’s gotta make it up to the family more than ever. if anything, he thinks maybe jay’ll try to slink out and talk to him. the lie weighs heavy on his chest, but it’s the most sensible solution. ma needs to go on the motorcycle, and jay can survive out here in the woods. if tyler stayed ( and his chest constricts at the mere thought ) … he’d die. still, even though ma knows that, it’s still his duty to stay back. even with this busted leg, even with his lack of familiarity of the bush of two rock. when jay wasn’t around, the solution was simple. now, it’s staring him right in the eye. his imminent death. the same fate as dale. loving jay, then dying for it. 

the door creaks open, and tyler’s heart squeezes in his chest seeing it’s ma. it ain’t rare for her to seek out his company, whether it’s to unload some stresses or just cause he’s smoking at the same time as her, but that weary heart still jumps when she does. hard and clear evidence that he’s doing something right. but that brief hope gets squashed like an insignificant insect as soon as the words leave her mouth. can we talk about this canada thing? 

shoulda known she was coming out to ask about it, silently curses himself for not realizing sooner. remembers the other mistake he made, telling jay about his real ma, and braces himself for a scolding that thankfully never comes. sharon’s not a petty woman, and she’s moved onto more pressing matters. wondering why jay can’t have the prized seat next to her on the bike. wondering all that when she’s whip-smart and definitely smart enough to know tyler’d die if he stuck around back here. and it all comes flooding out. a juvenile confession, practically sobbed out. a desperate begging for love he’s always thought he was above. is it so wrong to want to live? is it so wrong to want a shot at life even when it’s long over? all his life, he’s given her ( the family, he hurriedly corrects, because even now, he can’t stop the helpless fawning over her ) everything he has, everything he is. and here he leans against the cabin post, staring up at the consequence bearing over him like a giant. finds himself scared and utterly alone in the face of this insurmountable beast. 

he just wants to live. and if that’s gotta mean just surviving from here on out, he wants that. if his fate was never to live his life, he’ll mourn it and bury it alongside dale. clenches his fists and jaw and tries not to let the grief consume him, crush that bad leg before he’s even got a chance to try to keep going. wouldn’t dale have wanted him to live? wouldn’t dale have wanted… and it feels blasphemous to even think, but wouldn’t dale have wanted his happiness? couldn’t sharon have loved him enough to want that for him?

but it can’t be about dale and it certainly can’t be about sharon, so it’s about jay, the boy who got everything tyler wanted just by being. who whines and gets his way, the eternal favourite and the one dale eventually left tyler behind for. but tyler knows he can still win. he’s just gotta convince jay to stay back. and he does. feels that affection he always had for the kid come back full force, all babyish smiles and hints of wisdom he don’t think even jay knows he has. tyler will miss him. he gets that now. wishes blindly and with all his heart that there were three seats on the motorcycle, even if the thought of sharing ma with jay was nauseating just an hour ago. 

tyler trudges back to his world, leaving jay to his own. greets sharon with a weary look, disillusioned like he hasn’t been in a long time. no longer is he excited to be the only one left. misses his brothers, both of ‘em, like hell. but at least he’s got ma, his sole purpose for as long as he can remember. something nettles him about that. maybe it’s just that jay taking off didn’t make him feel any better. 

that’s what he sticks with until one night at the church turns into two, and then three.

and tyler lays with his cheek pressed against a dilapidated floor and wonders. do we get what we deserve?

[narabea06]

Toby Rogers headcanons

Requested by @kosmicpowers

They used to be a Slender proxy, but ended up running away after years of being traumatized by Slender. Nowadays, he works at a corner store as a cashier, and tries her best to get better and move past everything that happened, while also staying under a false identity.

They are bigender, ace, and biromantic, and he goes by he/she/they.

Him and Clockwork are dating on and off, but are very close regardless.

Toby isn't the biggest fan of serious musicals but finds comedy musicals to be a weird comfort for him. His favorite is TGWDLM specifically because he loved Paul's character and because he related to Alice. 

Frank is the reason Toby started to become so distant and angry as a teenager even before Lyra's death, because Frank would treat any emotion Toby had as something that made him weak. 

Toby ends up getting very defensive when people look down on her or consider them weak or in need of help because of how much Frank had beat down his confidence and self worth, and made him feel and believe he was completely alone and that he should never need help. 

While Toby doesn't kill, he does help Nina and BEN get in trouble a lot through pranks as well as just helping them light shit on fire-

They have ADHD. 

Toby used to doodle a lot and left his old notebook for Clockwork when he ran away.

Her and Toby were planning on running away together when Lyra was 17 and Toby was 14, since Lyra finally got her driving license, and Toby and her had a lot of money saved. Frank caught them though and took away Lyra's keys for two years.

Them and Lyra shared a room as teens. Every night, they would talk while they tried to sleep. This also helped when Lyra had nightmares. They also used this time to plan when they ran away. 

He is horrified by being in a car, and driving, and will always panic if he has to get in a car. Nina tried to help teach them how to drive but realized Toby was either always constantly shaking or was constantly going like five miles an hour. 

Toby never let people over to his house growing up, especially not Natalie or Nina, since he felt very scared that they would see his home life and judge him or worry too much.

They burnt their hatchets, hoodie, and mask in a bonfire once he escaped Slender, but he kept his goggles for safekeeping and for memories sake.

Connie tried switching Toby over to homeschooling after elementary school due to Toby's Tourette's and ADHD causing him to be unable to work in a regular school environment and getting severely bullied, but after two years Connie realized that this made Toby's mental health drop almost even more due to his isolation, and being forced to spend more time at home with Frank caused him to get even more aggressive. Toby was then switched back in highschool, but had a long IEP, as well as the option to go home early from school if he was too stressed out by the environment, and to just finish his work at home. 

Toby does not have fingerprints because he accidentally burnt his hands in starting the fire. 

Toby hates being called Tobias or Rogers, and prefers just Toby.

Part 2

[shadowgeist-stars]

There's something I wish we talked more about...

Everyone likes wondering about how the big "Lamiroir is actually Thalassa Gramarye and Trucy and Apollo are her kids" reveal would affect our oblivious pair of half-siblings. But I noticed that a grand total of NO ONE thinks about how certain other characters would also take the news. Mainly in Apollo's Khura'in family. (There will be SoJ spoilers below)

Let's start with an easy one. Datz.

He already knows Apollo (as "AJ"), and it looks like he meets Trucy when saving Apollo and Dhurke from the undersea cavern. Obviously a generally fun-loving fellow who I bet would happily call Trucy an honorary Defiant Dragon if he caught wind of her being Apollo's sister. Doubly so when remembering she managed to stow away in Edgeworth's luggage to reach Khura'in. (Rule-breakers need to stick together!) He'd probably also assign her some kind of nickname like TW or something, and consider himself her new uncle. He also seems like the only one crazy enough to willfully be Trucy's magic assistant/guinea pig, which would spare Apollo and Athena.

Then comes Rayfa, our dear crown princess.

While not as emotionally invested as her brother (and we'll get to him), it would be a surprise to learn that "Horn Head" has a little sister. And it just so happens to be the girl with the strange blue hat who was watching from the gallery during the trial that got Ga'ran deposed. While a bit upset that she never really got to talk to her back then, Rayfa would be fairly alright with seeing Trucy as a sister of some kind... and discuss with her the ways of pestering both of their brothers all in good fun.

Of course, Trucy would be over the moon to the mere idea of calling Rayfa her little sister, especially when she's a literal princess on the road to being queen. Their personalities could bounce off of each other surprisingly well, and maybe Trucy can help Rayfa swallow enough of her pride to actually call either of the boys "brother." And thanks to Phoenix's connections to Maya and Pearl, Trucy knows other spirit mediums who might be able to help Rayfa in her training.

And now we get to someone with a bit more... complicated stake in the matter, and honestly the meat and potatoes for this whole post: Nahyuta.

Being completely honest here, I think our dear Last Rites Prosecutor would take this news as a complete slap in the face. "Let it go and move on" mantra be damned, he'd basically be told "Hey, remember your first case against Apollo? With that magician girl you tried to get convicted for murder who turned out to have been framed? Yeah, she's actually your brother's sister, which also kinda makes her your sister by proxy. You unknowingly tried to get your own sister condemned for murder and quite possibly put on death row." (Since, y'know, capital punishment's still a thing in Ace Attorney L.A.)

Even if we almost never see our Not Guilty defendants hold a grudge against the prosecutors, Nahyuta's entire deal in Spirit of Justice was doing everything he possibly could to protect his baby sister and his mom, being unnecessarily harsh with the defense and the accused in the process. So finding out that he tried to condemn someone who could be considered part of his family on a false charge wouldn't be without consequence. (Turnabout Revolution only proved that because of his parents' direct involvement.)

Undoubtedly, he'd see fit to apologize to Trucy personally upon learning about her being Apollo's little sister, and would do so at his earliest convenience. But we can all be certain that she'd gladly accept him as another big brother regardless of any perceived "past transgressions." There would be hugs involved, I'm sure, and Nahyuta would be able to... possibly bring out the protective and caring big brother he was supposed to be from the very beginning.

Side note: Y'know this here lightning thing you see with Amara when she gets mad? And also Dhurke's dragon glare when he goes Mad Dad on Paul Atishon?

I get the feeling Nahyuta would inherit either or both of their little tricks to some extent when his big brother instinct REALLY kicks into high gear.

[kentnaturaltribrid]

As for the cat, had to due to well besides that in Chile cats are known to be a connection to the underworld, but had to due to respect for the only Mexican short hair in the pile. She is pretty picky and vocal about everything that goes on, loves to make an entrance as well as with most cats. It’s quite complicated after that, but she would have a hiss-fit if there wasn’t one on the altar or surface for the Palkorios, and even more so if the silver doesn’t want to be named Isis. Especially since Well there I was running low on names and she is pretty much very vocal about everything that goes on as well as well as her main flower being the Ivkorina or the Isis flower, which is a direct link towards Isis herself should they need to have any contact with any of the Mains, but also there’s no excuse not to use a short and sweet name for her, since she is very much so picky and since was running low on names themselves the flower gave one towards her anyway.

For the most part, every thing else is either drawn or there’s at least two paintings and even though there’s not much on it, there’s a difficulty with finding specifically a dog, so had to stick with the cat. But, beyond the cat, it should fit perfectly for all pets in general. Of which, even though there’s at least one dog (Paul Anka), that is In the pile as well it should be quite difficult for finding what they want to add if there’s anything else to add that is. And yes, there wasn’t me naming the dog. It was a spur of the moment from one of the other younger siblings in the mix, which due to how many of us there is it’s actually quite difficult figuring out where he got the idea unless most of the rest of people know Gilmore Girls or know Specifically Paul Louise Anka, the musician, but that’s completely still hard to figure out which one it comes from in reference to the name, but at least it was short enough for the dog to understand. Or at least hopefully is, considering that it’s a deaf dog and color blind as well. Both of which, makes it a little more difficult for finding names for a dog like that because they’re so rare and ontop of it, they’re 4% more likely to be sernoric or even 3% more likely to be celiac. Regardless of stats there, they’re also 6% less likely to be adopted. Ontop of that, they’re 17% the rarest types of dogs as well. Ontop of that, 8% of dogs are color blind and have no control over the environment in which it happens from beginning.

Despite that, still been quite the helpful pet for Most of the other things that The Cats won’t do, even Willow. Regardless of not being willing to do things, there’s one which is ASV cat, of which she though has a picky personality and sweet one at that too, they’re more likely to be 10% of cats are ASV and 18% of them are ASN, which means that in both instances they cannot use their own tail , which she can’t . Regardless of that she’s balancing for the most part with senses when she gets the chance to learn alternative balance (ears, paws, etc), but for the most part cats like her are 12% more likely to be faster learners than most other of their own kind, even though they cannot use the tail . Regardless of that , she’ll help if she can for mostly everything that is in use of ASL or ASZ, or if told to do something that isn’t ASM, or even something told to her twice in regards to she cannot hear anything either, so there’s a slight chance of most cats like her being 13% more deaf than their own kind. And with that, there’s a lot of other things that need to be done and she will do something with the instruction even if twice told since there’s still some learning for her that needs doing but at least cats like her learn 5% faster and sometimes the rest of them are taking up silly activities that they’re not supposed to be doing, ones that they think are going to help make an event interesting but really they’re just being too far off the base of what is going to help make something memorable rather than having them being doing the same thing as when one was 6 or something, since they have a tendency to do something that was more general for a 5 or 6, than for 8+. Which makes it all the more frustrating at times because I’ve already told the cat not to do something, and then they find a way to do that exact thing over & over. Cats have a tendency when told not to at least most of them which I’ve known have that tendency to do the exact thing that they’re not supposed to do at all in terms of what you don’t want them to do for events and activities or something that isn’t helpful. Cats are 9% more likely to do those things than other critters, which makes finding something for them to do that would make it more fun or less annoying than other activities that they’re having a lot of trouble with the not doing them, so it’s make even less fun once they’ve done things like that, and makes it even more difficult and frustrating ontop of everything else as well.

[youralternantpersonality]

Death

Hey guys!

So, I am half-ass back, but I wanted to add to this story just like I did with Thanksgiving (if you haven't read it, you should—go check it out) since a handful of you guys have wanted this story to keep going. So, I present to you the continuation of "My Love."

P.S. I have no idea how I will end this, and I am just going to wing it like I did with Thanksgiving. Let's see what happens, shall we

Paul x Reader: Death

Previously on "My Love: Enduring Love"

"THEY COULD STILL HURT YOU! I don't want you talking to them again!"

"Hell no! Last time I checked, I didn't have to ask you who I should or shouldn't be friends with! I can make my judgment!"

"See, this is why I wish I would have never imprinted, especially on someone like you! Why can't you just listen?!" I say. In that second, you can hear a pin drop. The words flew out before I could stop them. Usually, I have control over what I say in our argument, but this time, I couldn't.

"Wow…Bet." Y/n said. Fuck. I groan and follow her outside.

"Paul!" Sam calls out to me

"It's fine Sam, the truth comes out one way or another. Snout, let's go, baby!" Y/n walks out the front door and towards her car. I reach out to grab her hand that was holding Snout's leash. It slips, and Snout runs towards and into the woods across the street. Y/n runs after Snout, and everything goes in slow motion. Not paying attention to the truck coming, her body slammed by a truck speeding by, and she instantly hit and cracked her skull on the asphalt. I run to her hold her in my arms until the ambulance comes as her life slips away. And that's when my life came to a stop. All I hear are sirens in the distance and the feeling of warm thick liquid dripping onto my skin and clothes.

EMTs come and try to take her from my arms, but I resist until Sam and Jared make me let go. I watch as they strap the love of my life to the gurney and put her inside of the truck.

"Shit," Brady said. I look over and see Snout, dead, next to the truck's tire. His leash got caught against something and dragged him, snapping his neck. I couldn't help but lose it at that point. I tried to run before I was aware of doing so, but I was stopped by Embry. The cops want to talk to me and ask what happened. Somehow, I could answer some of the questions, but I could feel myself breaking down as I told them what had happened.

Thus, leading us up to here.

Present-day: September 2nd

I could hear it—the final heartbeats. Carlisle and Edward rushed in as we listened to the final intake of breath and the thumping of her heart. After the last one, we'll know which path she decided to take.

Thump-thump

Thump-thump

Thump-thump

…Flatline….

Currently—Third POV

Time officially stopped for Paul as he stared at the love of his life, his reason for existing, his mate, everything that completes him. Eventually, he lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in when he saw Y/n twitch. Although he had some doubt afterward, afraid he just saw things in hopes she was "alive," however, it wasn't until her nose started twitching and he could see movement behind her eyelids. Paul felt something within and on his face that he had not felt since their argument at Sam and Emily's place. Relief, happiness, reassurance, and a smile. Regardless, if she never wants him again—which he hopes isn't true—he is just happy to see her alive. Although, if she doesn't want him, it will kill him to live without her, and he only prays that she forgives him.

"Why isn't she waking up. She's moving, but she isn't… what's wrong?" Paul asked anxiously. Carlisle placed a hand on his shoulder and chuckled at the young wolf's eagerness.

"Patience. Sometimes it is hard for a newborn vampire to adapt to this new world once it awakens. Just like when an infant is born—you don't expect them to open up their eyes immediately, do you? Just like newborns, her senses have to adapt to the environment before she can allow herself to rise." Paul relaxed a little bit to Carlisle's explanation.

"I can read her," Edward says, catching their attention. "She is trying to remember what happened, and her mind is reminding her of everyone, everything, her memories, all of it. It's fascinating- OUCH!" Edward drops to the ground holding his head. Before Carlisle can assess him, Edward yells out again and then shivers.

"Edward! What is it?!" Carlisle rushed to his son's side, helping him stand. Before Edward could attempt to respond, Carlisle received the same treatment as Edward, only this time Carlisle couldn't stop scratching—the excruciating pain that came with it was not helping either. Carlisle's pain and scratching stopped instantly, and he became frozen, cold, almost paralyzed. All while Edward was recovering, now trying to help Carlisle, Paul stood in awe as to what was happening—praying to the Moon Goddess, the Cosmos, the Elements of the Rainbow, hell, even Barney if he had to, for him to not experience whatever it was that was going on with them. He turned his head back towards his mate and slightly shook. There she was, his beautiful mate, sitting straight up, feet dangling off the bed, looking into his honey-brown eyes with her…Lilac eyes? What the fuck.

Her intense gaze made Paul shiver in delight and slightly uneasiness. Not because she was a vampire, but because she looked almost…Pissed? Relief? Curious? He couldn't really tell. Keeping his eyes on her, she turned her head to face the other two men recovering from some unknown attack. Until another one came on, Carlisle and Edward passed out and remained in a sleeping state for 30 seconds or so before waking up.

"What the hell is going on?!" Carlisle says, losing his shit on the ground, now completely paralyzed and numbed.

"It’s her! Paul, tell her to stop!” Edward screams. Y/n turns her head towards him.

“Yeah…I don’t think I will.” Paul states. He would have to be an absolute idiot to tell her to stop—not because he doesn’t appreciate their help, but because he’s just not stupid, and clearly, he knows what would happen if he did.

“…Paul…” Y/n says in a whisper. Instantly Edward and Carlisle can break free and take a few unnecessary gasps of air before continuing onward. Paul looks at his mate's lilac eyes and nods his head. She stands up and slowly walks towards him before signally him to bend over so she could whisper in his ear. He does as follow and is shocked by what she says next.

“You’re lucky I can’t do what I did to them. Next time you try to tell me what to do that may or may not result in my death, I will end your life. Understood?” Y/n said with an innocent smile. Paul looked at her in the eyes with both fright and amusement. Fright for apparent reasons and amusement because he finally has his soul mate back.

“Yes ma’am.” He smiles but then expresses pain, “Y/n…I am so fucking sorry. You don’t know how much I regret what I did and said to you, my love.” Paul then drops to his knees and wraps his arms around Y/n's waists while begging for forgiveness. “Please, I beg you, forgive me for everything. The pain I put you through, the choice I made for you. All of it. Please Y/n.” Paul says through tears, looking up at her. Y/n, gently as possible, runs her nails through Paul’s hair and smiles.

“Give me time. I remember everything, and I just…I just need time. But I don’t want to leave you—I don’t think I can. You’re a dumbass, but you’re my dumbass and, unfortunately, my responsibility now.” Y/n says jokingly. She pulls Paul up to his feet and smiles up at him, “For now, let's take it slow…I am still your mate, but I need some space from it, for now, my love. Okay…” Paul nods his head. Granted, it’s not at all what he wanted, but he understood. Through this, he matured and understood some things. Not only from this but from talking to his father—the death of his mother killed him, and he grieved in an unhealthy way. He can change that perception and learn from his father's mistake while also learning patience is a virtue for a relationship. He would do anything in the world for his mate—even if it involved waiting a lifetime for her to be his again.

“Can I…can I have one kiss. Nothing big like making out, but just one. Going so long without you like I did and seeing you awake—please, just…just one, and I promise I won’t ask for another. I’ll allow you to take the lead… just, plea-” Y/n shut him up by giving him just that. A simple kiss. Something she, too, was craving. It would suffice their hunger to be together until she felt like it was the right time. But in the meantime, the kiss they shared wasn’t rushed, wasn’t hard or anything. It was slowly filled with need and emotions. If Y/n could cry, she would; it didn’t help that Paul shed a few tears in the midst of it. Forgetting about the world around them, Paul and Y/n laid down on the bed and just embraced each other. Soon enough, even breathing and resounding snores from Paul could be heard.

Meanwhile, Carlisle and Edward left the room as soon as possible (mainly to avoid being more test subjects for Y/n) to allow the lovers some privacy. Meeting up with their cousins, they explained what happened and the situation they are currently in. Carlisle and Edward called home to explain the situation—Esme and Bella not particularly happy with them being attacked; Rosalie and Emmett dying in the background full of laughter over Edwards suffering—then decided to head out to go hunting for a few hours. They knew Paul would be asleep for a while, and Y/n wouldn’t want to leave his side, so they decided to take their time.

For a moment, just a moment, did everything seem peaceful and relaxing for Paul and Y/n, and they planned on savoring that moment until they had to go back to La Push/Forks to discuss the next steps. But for now, Paul is just happy to have his mate back.

My Love

[senadimell]

This may be one of the most fascinating videos I have seen this year. The construction was really neat. I was also intrigued by this line:

“The turkey is the only bird that allows feathers to be taken and it won’t bleed,” Weahkee says. “It has a defensive mechanism to where if a predator grabs the feather the skin will literally open up and release the feather at will.”

(Quoted in “In the Ancient American Southwest, Turkeys Were Friends, Not Food,” in Smithsonian Magazine)

Unfortunately, a few quick searches online only bring up results about butchering turkeys for their feathers or else harvesting feathers from molting turkeys. I don’t have a huge grasp on bird biology, but I was under the impression that most birds molt, so I’ve hit a bit of a roadblock in trying to learn more about the type of agricultural harvesting of feathers Ms. Weahkee describes. I have found a few things, like this paper by William D.Lipe, Shannon Tushingham, Eric Blinman, Laurie Webster, Charles  T. LaRue, Aimee Oliver-Bozeman, and Jonathan Till.

“Previous work by Lipe and others shows turkey feathers began to replace strips of rabbit skin in construction of twined blankets in the region during the first two centuries C.E. Ethnographic data suggest the blankets were made by women and were used as cloaks in cold weather, blankets for sleeping and ultimately as funerary wrappings.

...

“Another interesting finding of the study was the turkey feathers used by the ancestral Pueblo people to make garments were most likely painlessly harvested from live birds during natural molting periods. This would have allowed sustainable collection of feathers several times a year over a bird’s lifetime, which could have exceeded 10 years. Archeological evidence indicates turkeys were generally not used as a food source from the time of their domestication in the early centuries C.E. until the 1100s and 1200s C.E., when the supply of wild game in the region had become depleted by over-hunting....

--Ancient blanket made with 11,500 turkey feathers, in WSU insider

I do find it interesting that the paper cites far smaller number of necessary feathers than the number of feathers that went into Ms. Weahkee’s blanket, especially since her finished results were 2x3 feet and the researchers were calculating a 3.6x3.6 foot blanket. Regardless of why that is, it’s important to note that their study was made specifically with the help of Ms. Weahkee and another experimental archeologist:

Acknowledgments

Chris Hanson, Director of the Edge of the Cedars State Park Museum, helped provide research access to specimens, as well as work space for two meetings that allowed several of the authors to examine the blanket framework that is the focus of much of the research described here.

Mary Weahkee of the New Mexico Office of Archaeological Studies provided valuable information and insights about yucca cordage and feather blanket production based on her extensive replication experience. Paul Ermigiotti of the Crow Canyon Archaeological Center also shared his experience with replicating a turkey feather blanket.

Cristina Bories, proprietor of La Casa de los Gansos in Puerto Varas, Chile, encouraged our use of her video that demonstrates the present-day practice of gathering down feathers humanely from live geese.

(The use of geese here makes me want to better understand turkey domestication all over again. Can you harvest turkey feathers outside of a molting period? Is there anything unique about them compared to other North American birds?)

As for how the feathers were collected, Lipe and Tushingham cited three possibilities: the birds were killed and their feathers harvested; feathers were collected during the birds' natural molting season; or people selectively plucked mature feathers from living turkeys. Turkeys didn't become a major food source in this region until between 1100 and 1200 CE, and even then, they were typically killed before they were a year old—too soon to harvest mature feathers. Furthermore, "Killing turkeys for their feathers is a wasteful strategy, because it removes the possibility of harvesting feathers as a sustainable food source," the authors wrote.

-- How many turkey feathers does it take to make an ancient blanket? 11,500

Lastly, here’s a piece on Ms. Weahkee’s work:

Mary Weahkee, An Archeologist And Anthropologist, Weaves Blanket With  17,000 Turkey Feathers

Mary Weahkee, an archeologist and anthropologist with the Department of Cultural Affairs in Santa Fe, weaved a blanket with thousands of feathers from turkey hunters.

Using a technique that goes back more than 1,000 years, Mary Weahkee weaves turkey feathers around yucca cord. Photo by Martin Perea/NMDG&F

In 2018, Mary Weahkee, an archeologist and anthropologist with the New Mexico Department of Cultural Affairs, was asked to try her hand at a particular task that dates back to more than 1,000 years ago: weave a blanket made of turkey feathers.

Weahkee taught herself the technique, the process of winding each feather around yucca cord, by examining ancient blankets housed at museums around the western United States.

Producing this large, two by three-foot blanket took 18 months using 17,000 feathers from 68 turkeys. She tried out the technique twice before, producing two one by one-foot samples a few years ago for the museum at Chaco Canyon and the Aztec Monument Museum.|

“I looked at how the ancestors were creative and patient,” said Weahkee, who is of Comanche and Santa Clara descent. “It’s a labor of love.”

--  “Mary Weahkee, An Archeologist And Anthropologist, Weaves Blanket With  17,000 Turkey Feathers,” in the Los Alamos Reporter

[thejudgingtrash]

You know those Estelle child of Poseidon/Neptune aus and such? I feel like those are just a more accepted version of the trend of oc Poseidon/Neptune kids. bc since now folks like to discount those ocs as cringe 2012 shit but now Estelle is a canon vehicle for Percy sibling dynamic funsies, people wanna project it on her instead bc ocs have been deemed cringe. Personally, I love both cringey ocs and demigod Estelle, but I can’t help but think that’s what’s happened, you know? Just random thought

No, I absolutely think it makes sense what you’re saying. I’m guilty of that “another sibling of Poseidon/Neptune” or “Estelle as a child of Poseidon” wave because it’s fun and a mostly harmless headcanon. Also, the fanfics we used to read back in those days? Rough, my friend, completely rough.

Personally, I do think that the way Estelle was brought up set her up to fail.

It’s just not believable to me that Percy would have a sibling all of a sudden. Not only that, but a sibling with an incredibly large age difference. Percy could technically be her father age wise. That much of an age difference. The minute Percy moves out they’d probably see each other realistically on birthdays and holidays, so not that often. That hinders a deep sibling bond (and Sally having a free babysitter I guess). What’s a college kid going to do with a kid that isn’t his? Hit up the clubs and leave her there? Nah.

Estelle is not a character, she’s a plot device which could be easily discarded. She’s nothing more than background information which doesn’t even bring that much to the plot. I have seen posts from bipercabeth, blackjacktheboss and others touch on that topic but I don’t really think people dove that much into Estelle and mostly made their points about Sally, which is fine and makes sense as the only true connection we have to Estelle as a “character” is through her mother.

Estelle’s essentially Riordan‘s OOC OCand completely unnecessary? There is no need for her. If you’d scratch her out of the PJO universe would that leave any sort of dent? No. Even that wacko and “Camp Jupiter’s version of Jeffree Star” Octavian has a larger significance (regardless whether you hate him or not) than Estelle. And yes, I do believe that many people use her as a projection punching bag. We don’t know anything about her apart from the fact that she Naruto ran out of Sally’s vajoochie, so there’s really not much essence to her, but there’s so much people could just pile onto her. I’m interested to see if there’s going to be a little bit more info about her in the Tower of Nero (or a standalone novel), but I doubt it.

I think the factor that Riordan as a white Christian male wanted to portray the fantasy of the perfect happy family that rose from the ashes comes into play. We’ve seen Sally and Percy growing up in disfunctioning partially abusive households which bonded them together as Riordan decided “as a making up gift” to give Sally a harmless husband for a change who she’s marrying after only two goddamn years (also here’s my old Paul rant for free if you’re interested!). The problem is - it’s so incredibly rushed and sidelined it really doesn’t make that much sense to me? Sally got barely any rest with Percy. He had a strong demigod scent which made monsters chase him since he had been a toddler and things only got worse once he became a pre-teen to a full blown teenager. Sally has been through hell and above and then her son goes missing and she’s pretty much getting pregnant around that time or a little bit after? I know people call Sally strong and all of that blablablabla. But... there’s no need to rush with further family planning in the context of the plot? Isn’t she like in her mid-thirties? So yeah, she could still pop out a kid or two, but damn sis. Relax for a bit, will ya? Cooch won’t run away.

Pregnancy, giving birth, babies and having/raising children is not as fun and sweet and cute as romanticized Hollywood movies are trying to sell you (and that’s coming from someone who actually likes kids). Screaming, all kinds of gross fluids, being tired and sore from giving birth, close childcare for the first two years and I don’t know what Paul’s family is looking like - Sally has no one apart from her adult son who is trying to manage his own life and wants to grow into adulthood. It could be overwhelming. While I don’t think money would be the issue it’s just that the bond between Percy and Estelle that would probably not be as close-knit as some people headcanon it. Especially if the former leaves for college.

The only way I could see Estelle work as a character would be if the Heroes of Olympus or the Trials of Apollo saga would be rewritten. It would make more sense if Estelle is a child of Poseidon/Neptune with no association to Percy. That would mean that one of the two series (or both) would have to be pushed further into the future as while Poseidon said/joked about unleashing his inner whore after The Last Olympian, it would still take a while (at least a decade) for Estelle to grow and move into either camp. That would automatically mean that Percy is an adult in his late twenties at the bare minimum (but we know Riordan, he refuses to age his characters and he refuses to dive into YA, which is his right, but trying a continuation with the same rules doesn’t always work out in your favor, Slicky Rick). Still means that there’s not much of a bond for Estelle and him. But it would make her appearance... more realistically?

Additionally, if people are against the thought of demigod!Estelle, they should be against Estelle entirely as a sibling because why are people thinking that Percy near her toddler ass wouldn't put her into danger? Unless there’s next to no sibling relationship of course. But that would be probably also not the way most people would love to paint the narration. Can’t please everyone. But please people. Try to enjoy your headcanons. They can be fun and nonsensical or on the more realistic side.

PS: Estelle’s also a kinda funky fugly name. I thought she was named after her maternal grandmother who was named Laura? Then again, could also be her paternal grandmother’s name but I don’t know?

[aion-rsa]

How Dear Evan Hansen Changes the Musical’s Ending

https://ift.tt/2XGJPiD

This article contains Dear Evan Hansen spoilers, both for the movie and the stage show.

No matter how you come to the story of Dear Evan Hansen, and regardless of the medium, things always have to end at the same apple orchard. It’s fitting since Evan’s first major lie about Connor Murphy, the boy who killed himself, was that they spent whole days in the then-abandoned orchard, talking about girls, boats, and whatever other fantasies Evan could concoct. And it’s here that Zoe Murphy, Connor’s younger sister, requests Evan meet her for the story’s final scene.

This is true of the stage show, which took Broadway by storm five years ago—winning six Tonys including for Best Musical and Best Actor for Ben Platt—and it’s the same for the movie, with Platt’s Evan coming to a now renewed orchard and sitting with the cinematic Zoe (Kaitlyn Dever). Among the trees, Evan can see at least one good thing that came out of his lies: The Connor Murphy Project reopened this small slice of paradise.

Yet how Dear Evan Hansen gets to that moment in the movie is drastically different from the stage musical. Then again, so is the world in the five years since the musical’s Broadway debut (and six since it was first performed in Washington D.C.). Hence why director Stephen Chbosky and screenwriter Steven Levenson, who adapted his own book from the stage, have attempted to adjust to our current social climate. The new ending addresses the harshest criticisms about the Evan Hansen character, and the values his tale might promote. This is, after all, a musical about a troubled young man who exploits the suicide of a stranger in his school to increase his popularity and to insinuate himself into the dead boy’s family.

But is the new ending an actual improvement? Well…

How Dear Evan Hansen Ends on Stage

The entire narrative of Dear Evan Hansen pivots on a misunderstanding between Evan and the Murphy family as the latter grieve over the suicide of Connor. When Connor’s parents, Cynthia and Larry, first misconstrue Evan’s letter to himself as their son’s suicide note, Evan attempts to correct them. However, they seem so heartbroken, and Evan is so desperate to please and be accepted—by anyone—he quickly goes along with it and begins spinning tales about his and Connor’s intimate friendship.

The musical is thus a rising crescendo that builds as Evan climbs higher and higher off his mistruths. So the inevitable moment where his house of cards comes crashing down is the narrative’s real climax. And yet, in the original version of Dear Evan Hansen, the story more or less ends right there. After Evan confesses in the song “Words Fail” that he lied about the letter and his entire friendship with Connor, the horrified Murphys walk away from him one by one, with various degrees of disgust. He then comes clean to his mother in the final big song of the show, “So Big / So Small,” where she comforts her son. She’ll never walk away.

The musical then quickly jumps one year into the future, with Evan revealed to be working part-time and attending community college, hoping to save up enough money to someday attend a university. Zoe, who’s now a senior in high school, invites Evan to the orchard where he thanks her family for never revealing his secret to the public—never telling the world he lied about Connor. And, rather incredulously, Zoe absolves Evan and the audience of any guilt. She says, “Everybody needed [the lie] for something.” She even goes so far to say it “saved my parents.” It brought her family closer together.

So while it’s still bittersweet since Evan’s relationship with the Murphys, including Zoe, is forever severed, there are still no real consequences for Evan other than Cynthia and Larry won’t pay for his college education. Even his guilt is assuaged, and he can brag to Zoe that he’s been reading the 10 books Connor said were his favorites in eighth grade. The show more or less ends in a figurative group hug by omitting through a time jump all of the messy fallout from his choices.

How Dear Evan Hansen the Movie Ends

In the film, “Words Fail” is still the climax of the story, with Evan confessing his sins and Zoe walking away. However, in one telling addition, Cynthia (played with delicate fragility by Amy Adams) is barely able to whisper, “I think it’s time for you to leave” while holding back tears. Since she was Evan’s biggest champion, that she is now the one who states explicitly he is disinvited from their home hits hardest.

Then after Evan’s heart-to-heart with his mother (Julianne Moore), we actually see Evan attempt to make amends for his misdeeds. For starters, the whole reason the truth finally came out in both versions of the story is because of the machinations of a schoolmate named Alana (Amandla Stenberg in the film), who accidentally unleashed a whole social media mob on the Murphys, with randos on the internet blaming the parents for Connor’s suicide.

On stage, this plot element is entirely dropped after Evan confesses to the Murphys, who presumably bear the brunt of the social media hate in quiet while protecting Evan’s secret. In the film though, Evan actually attempts to talk to Zoe in school the following week and she asks him to leave her alone. She also reveals the only reason her parents haven’t unmasked what Evan did is because “they’re afraid you’ll do something to yourself.” Like Connor.

Thus Evan gets on Twitter that night and tells the world, “[The Murphys] don’t deserve your hate. I do.” He confesses. Afterward, he again becomes a high school pariah, but we learn in montage he is more content this way as he tries to make further amends to the Murphys by not only reading Connor’s favorite books but tracking down someone’s phone video of Connor during his stint in rehab. Evan even finds footage of Connor playing his guitar, a feat he hid from his parents. The new song “A Little Closer,” which scores the final montage, is revealed to be a melody Connor wrote and sang in rehab, and Evan is able to at least mail that to Connor’s parents. He’s finally given them something true that they didn’t know about their son.

Only then, before the current school year ends, does Zoe invite Evan to an apple orchard and they reminisce about what might’ve been.

Does It Improve Evan Hansen and the Story?

The clear implication for adding these sequences, plus a song that the real Connor Murphy character can sing, is intended to fix the moral and thematic slipperiness at the heart of Dear Evan Hansen. Through a series of hummable ballads by songwriters Benji Pasek and Justin Paul, and some heartbreaking performances, including by Platt in the original cast, the stage production relies on the power of its emotions to overwhelm logic or deeper analysis. Some might even say it manipulates.

Yet over the years, the musical has had its fair share of detractors who pointed out how calculating and toxic the Evan Hansen character can appear. And the fact the musical just ends on the emotional high point without actually bothering to sift through the wreckage of what Evan did has always been a cheat.

Conversely, there are a few fleeting sequences in the stage version where the musical at least briefly seems to consider its darker implications. Evan’s loose group of (bad) friends in Alana and Jared contribute to this element in the song “Good for You,” where they sing in unison, “Well, I guess if I’m not of use, go ahead, you can cut me loose. Go ahead now, I won’t mind.”

The Alana relationship is particularly interesting in the show since it is only after she demands of Evan “how” will he raise $17,000 that he shows her Connor’s “suicide note.” He immediately protests after she decides to post it online, but did he not on some level show it to her in order for her to use it to raise $17,000 and reopen the apple orchard? After this scene, Alana ghosts him, suggesting she was herself only using Evan to brandish her social clout in the school and, eventually, her college applications.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie tries to wipe even this thorniness away. The context of Evan showing the note to Alana is handled slightly differently, but as a consequence there’s no ambiguity on why he showed it to her—he did not intend for her to share it online. She also, like Evan, is softened around the edges when she does answer Evan’s ringing phone on-screen and cries that she tried to take the letter down but it’s still all over social media.

The logic behind the change would seem to make both Evan and Alana more purely sympathetic and blameless for their mistakes. In Alana’s case, she isn’t a master manipulator, and in Evan’s case it is beyond his control when others take things too far. He then puts in the work to help the Murphys, beginning by admitting to the world his dishonesty.

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These were obviously conscious choices made after the five years and full lifetime which passed since 2016—a year where Barack Obama was still president and the #MeToo movement hadn’t yet occurred. Now in an age where social accountability, especially in online life, and alleged authenticity are valued more than ever, having a hero who lies to the world and gets away with it is inherently problematic. So the flaws in Evan’s choices, and even Alana’s, are “fixed” with crocodile tears of regret from Alana, and then Evan making an actual effort to atone for his mistakes.

Yet I would argue it doesn’t actually improve the fundamental issues with the musical. In the case of Alana, having a character show the ugly side of social manipulation, even among ostensibly sympathetic figures, was one of the truer impulses in a story that otherwise glorifies the healing power of finding validation from strangers on the internet. While both the film and show also depict the downside of online life with a discordant singing hydra coming after the Murphys, it’s only because of a couple of misguided mistakes. And in the case of the stage show, the larger message is Evan’s musical platitudes are simply too powerful (or profitable) for the Murphys to shatter.

In 2021, Evan and his creators make the choice that he can admit his mistakes. Yet the story still attempts to justify Evan’s actions, which ironically puts the film at odds with itself. It basks in the splendor of Evan’s self-help ballad, “You Will Be Found,” and then shows him suffering comeuppance for lying—even if Zoe still gives him final absolution.

The one significant change that clicks for me is Evan at least seeking out some hidden truth about Connor, and sharing it with the real people who actually loved him instead of strangers, who in turn would only again offer performative gestures and signaled virtue toward a kid they otherwise ignored. Hearing Colton Ryan’s Connor sing for himself—for the first time in any medium—and not merely be a puppet for Evan’s self-serving fantasies was a significant, moving improvement over how this thread is resolved on the stage.

Still, I think going further in that direction with Evan realizing the crassness of what he created, and the emptiness of his bromides, would’ve made this a more interesting narrative. But what do I know? My instincts wouldn’t have turned this into a Broadway anthem for Generation Z. So how about yourself? Do you like the new ending to Dear Evan Hansen?

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The post How Dear Evan Hansen Changes the Musical’s Ending appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2ZlN281

[republictrooper]

Thoughts on Discovery S3E4

I am so happy to see so much of Hugh. I always feel like he gets less of a spotlight than he should, he’s DELIGHTFUL and he deserves it after that bullshit they pulled with him back in Season 1. 

(Cut for spoilers beyond this point)

And his speech at the start of the episode was SPOT ON. That “Surviving can turn into living again” thing. Oof. I have BEEN there and I love to see it acknowledged. 

I also appreciate that Hugh has as snarky a bedside manner with Adira as he does with Paul (Seriously, they should just officially adopt them at this point CMON).

Also, are they just straight up gonna make him the ship’s counselor? I’m not 100% sure on how good an example it is if he’s just suddenly ship’s counselor with the requisite degree/training, but gosh, it was nice to see him in kind of a quasi-counselor role. It fits him very well.

I also continue to LOVE Adira. They have a good heart, and just the right amount of snarky teenage rebellion, and I really love that their relationships with Michael and Hugh are shaping up to be just and entertaining and heartwarming as their relationship with Paul.

Interesting to see the first appearance of Zora! It makes me a little taken aback, though. Does this mean Discovery gets abandoned like we saw in the Calypso Short Trek this season? If so, that’s kind of a bummer, given it implies that the Federation is going to revert to the Vdraysh again over X years. Then again, maybe that was just a temporary abandon ship by Saru and they come right back and they’ll retcon/”Clarify” that Zora was never abandoned for a thousand years and just has some internal clock inconsistencies from the time leap? It would kind of destroy the emotional core of Calypso a bit, but would at least tie up some bows and mean we keep the Discovery we know and love instead of getting a new ship just to satisfy the parameters of a 10 minute mini-ep that may or may not have been planned to coincide with the time jump storyline of s2/s3 in the first place. 

Regardless, I love Zora and I hope she gets a happy ending, dammit. And I hate the idea that her story might end abandoned in a nebula with Michael’s mission to reform the Federation ultimately doomed to failure and a reversion to some warlike V’draysh. And I can understand if they decide to give the crew a shiny new 29th century discovery but I LIKE the current ship :(

On the plus side, Saru seems to trust her as of the end of this ep, so I’m hopeful they’re “retcon”/clarify Calypso away from the “Discovery was abandoned for 1k+ years” thing that episode originally seemed to imply.

On the other end of that, Saru remains an awkward turtle duck, and I love him for that. I’m glad he listened to Zora’s advice, even if it didn't turn out well. This crew needs a COUNSELOR, ugh ;_;

Still, the follow up was nice, and that Tilly & Saru scene shows both why Saru is a good captain and why Tilly will be a good captain someday, if that’s how she chooses to go.

As far as Grey Tal goes.... I think it would hurt less if CBS/TPTB didn’t spend so much time hyping him up as the first trans character only to have him be DoA? It feels like Hugh all over again (and I’m still at least 60% sure they only resurrected him because of fan outcry). Like, these big corporations need to stop expecting props for queer rep if they only mean to kill said queer folk within a few episodes of their intro. And twist at the end aside, Grey was killed very quickly and unceremoniously, even moreso than Hugh, during a time when Trans people in particular still face premature death due to violence and murder and poverty at much higher rates than cishet people.

It also means we’re left wondering if Adira’s NB status is meant to be the result of Alien weirdness with their Trill symbiote instead of, you know, NB humans existing from the bout as far back as humans have been sapient.  Hell, As far as I can recall, their NB status still has yet to be spoken in canon, so we don’t know if their pronouns are she/they, just she, some other pronoun combo, and/or if they don’t even yet realize they’re NB at this point in the story

I dunno, I feel like we deserve better, as usual. Their love was so wonderful, and then Gray just dies? I don't know. It feels like GLAAD hyping this is just like GLAAD Hyping Assassin’s Creed Odyssey while ignore the compulsory het they put in the first DLC all over again.

As much as I love Discovery, it is REALLY hard to love the part where they have to give up so much pain and loss for our queer people, especially related to specifically being queer and in love with other queer people. We get enough of that pain and loss IRL.

I hope they can make something good of Grey and Adira’s story. Still. Can’t we just get some nice, safe, HAPPY queers for once? What is this obsession with making them all go through hell? Hugh died and left Stamets traumatized and we had to wait for a completely new season before Hugh came back with NO Guarantee he would and just some wishful thinking on the Mushroom magic, Jett lost her wife, and now Grey and Adira are repeating Hugh and Paul’s story. I suppose there’s a path for somehow bringing Grey back corporeally since he appears to somehow be a separate entity from Tal who can appear to Adira, but why do we have to go through the same song and dance with him we went through with Hugh? Can we just have one happy Queer couple that doesn’t get separated by death, temporarily or permanently?

I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker for the show for me, but I don’t blame anyone for whom it is, and at the least it’s just part of an exhausting pattern. 

Still, if I can disconnect from that for just a moment, I still love Adira a whole lot. I am glad they’re sticking around at least and I hope we continue to see them being affectionately snarky with Michael and Hugh and Paul for a long time to come, but I also hope the narrative is more open about their NB status and doesn’t fall back “it’s the symbiont,” damn it. And that final scene, in another world it would have been absolutely AMAZING just... good, solid queer love, two gay as hell kids being affectionate together. It would be SO GOOD if it wasn’t tainted by Discovery’s weird insistence on inserting death in every queer relationship.

I’m so glad Keyla is finally getting help. I’m really am. She deserves it (and cmon, I’m not saying TPTB owes us Joyla, but that look during the exercise part and that ‘lean against each other’ thing in the shuttle bay at the end were NOT straight).

Anyway, final word:

Trill stuff: Interesting and cool

Adira: The best

Queer stuff: STOP KILLING YOUR GAYS ITS TAINTING EVERYTHING AND I HATE IT but also I still smiled and teared up a bit at the queer affection.

B-Plot: Painful, but I appreciate the exploration of trauma and the steps toward healing

[doof-doofblog]

"Look At Them!"

Thursday 15th October 2020

Good evening folks! I apologise for being so late with these recent episodes. I'm going to make sure I do a post every day this week just to make sure I'm up to date. Tomorrow I will try my very best to get two posts up and covering the recent episodes. Before we jump into Thursday's episode though, I want to share some news with you all that I am sure you have all been made aware of by now, but recently it's been announced that after 7 years on the Square, Luisa Bradshaw-White will be leaving her role as Tina Carter.

Her exit will be at the end of the year, but the big question is also how and why will Tina leave?! As far as I'm aware, it is unknown at the moment as to why she may be leaving and what will be her exit storyline, but I am looking forward to seeing it unfold as time goes on. Will you miss Tina? I do hope that the door will be left open for her to return one day in the future! In other news, I'm not too sure whether there is truth in this or not, but apparently Honey will be going on a date with a new character named Paul, however the date will take dark turn which will see the start of a new storyline for Honey. Could history be repeating itself? Or something much more darker about to take place in Honey's life?! What do you guys think it could be?

Anyway, let's make a start on Thursday's episode! We last saw Whitney waiting to hear whether she'd be going down for Leo's murder, the episode starts right where the last one finished off. Whitney is breathing deeply as she's waiting for her fate to be announced ... NOT GUILTY!!! What a bloody relief that must be!! Sonia is clearly looking overjoyed for her niece! Whitney is tearful as she's thanks Gray for supporting her and believing in her. It's interesting as the one person I'm really interested in in this scene right now is Gray, it's really interesting to see him reacting to Whitney when she speaks about telling the truth. It looks as if Gray is about to listen to his own advice, he looks over to the security guard and approaches but he's interrupted by his colleague congratulating him on winning the case. She insists to him that his job will be waiting for him whenever he feels ready to come back, but then he makes the surprising statement "I'm not coming back!" ... What is Gray planning on doing? 

At the club, Stacey has come up with the excuse that Kat was looking for bleach as the reason why she was hiding under the office table. Ruby clearly doesn't believe her as she hears glass bottles clanking in her bag. She then invites Stacey to their Wedding party, not that I think Stacey would want to be anywhere near it, but Ruby insists! Meanwhile, at the Cafe, Denise is finally meeting up with Ellie. I do feel a little bit of disappointment in Denise when she reveals to Ellie who Phil Mitchell is, but then again I kind of understand why she would act in such a way. But I do feel that Phil is family man more than anything, regardless of his reputation. Phil would fight for his family, literally! Is Denise making a big mistake? Ellie seems a little shocked to hear who Phil actually is, but she doesn't seem to say much as she leaves the Cafe, leaving Denise wondering whether she has done the right thing. 

Back on the Square, Whitney, Sonia and Gray all return from court, Whitney and Sonia are elated as they as Gray to join them in the Vic to celebrate! Gray is eager to get back to his children but Whitney is quick to compliment Gray on the way he spoke in court, saying it too guts for him to do what he did. But the realisation hits Gray and he simply responds to her "I haven't got any guts!" With that he walks away, Whitney and Sonia discuss amongst themselves how weird he has been acting recently, but Sonia is quick to defend him, saying that he's clearly still grieving, and grief works in sorts of ways for different people. Also can I just mention ... how has it been a month since Chantelle passed away? I'm sure that it only feels about only 2/3 weeks ago!! Crazy how time flies! 

Anyway, back in Ruby's, Stacey is clearly not being in the company of her ex-husband and ex-best mate! I love how they are throwing digs backwards and forwards to one another. Stacey makes the point to Ruby that her wedding to Martin was nicer as they had their family and friends around them, she even makes the point that Martin is a family man. Ruby is quick to say that family doesn't count ex-wives, to which Stacey doesn't react kindly to! What is it about Martin that Ruby wants? For some reason, I am convinced that Ruby has only married Martin to get back at Stacey. Has she been using him from the very beginning, who knows? But as soon as Stacey has had enough of Ruby's attitude and she's ready to swing for her, Martin interrupts them and informs Stacey that they need to discuss things privately. 

Meanwhile, at the Mitchell household, Phil and Ben are making themselves comfortable in the living room when all of a sudden, Denise marches her way into the house through the backdoor. She's come to warn Phil that she has informed Ellie about who he really is in connection to Raymond. Phil is clearly shocked to hear what she's saying and perhaps also realises that maybe his time is up. Later, Phil is eager to get a hold of Ellie - in some kind of desperation to get involved with Raymond. He demands he's going to go up to the hospital in an attempt to talk to her, but Ben makes the valid point that he'll only prove Denise right if he goes in all guns blaring. Phil is emotional as he speaks to his son about Raymond. The next thing he said really moved me - he states that he wasn't Dennis's Dad biologically, but he would've done anything for him regardless, and he informs Ben that he feels exactly the same way about Raymond, he gets tearful as he says to Ben "I lost him once and I can't lose him again!" ... I do feel for Phil at this moment in time, I feel that there could be 3 people going against each other to fight for Raymond. Team Denise, Team Ellie or Team Phil and honestly - right now, I'm Team Phil! What about you? 

Back at home, Gray has realised that his children have found their Mummy's broken mug. They sadly tell him that it was their Mum's favourite, he sighs and then says to his children that he needs to ask them something really important. What is he about to do? I don't think Gray is thinking straight, I mean, to be fair his head has been all over the place since he killed his wife, but what on earth is he about to do or say to his children?! 

Meanwhile at the Vic. Shirley is congratulating Whitney, she calls over to her son to come and join them, but perhaps she didn't quite use the right wording. She tells Mick that regardless of what happened when Mick went to court, she's been found Not Guilty. Mick looks as if he's really annoyed with what is Mum has just implied! But Whitney reassures him that everything is fine. But Shirley knows something isn't right with her son, even when she asks Linda whether he's just having a bad day, Linda just shrugs it off and says "How should I know!" - almost as if she doesn't even care about her husband right now. Nahh I'm convinced Shirley is going to find out the truth as to why Mick is acting so suspiciously, and perhaps this may kick off another story for Shirley. Will she find out about Mick being abused and blame herself?! Mick is currently hiding two huge secrets from his family, 1 - Frankie being his daughter, and 2 - coming to the realisation that Frankie's Mum sexually abused him as a child! Linda eventually makes herself comfortable in the Vic and decides to join Whitney and Sonia - their topic of discussion is Gray. Linda just so happens to mention to them about how Gray lashed out at her for helping out and cleaning his home. Shirley is also listening in to the conversation and she seems to back Linda up by saying that Gray had no need to raise his voice to Linda in such a way, but then - (this is the interesting part) - Mick suddenly can't believe what his Mother is saying. Of all the time he's been married to Linda, Shirley has always struggled to get along with her, so why all of sudden is she sticking up for her?! Shirley and Linda both look shocked at Mick's outburst, but something tells me that deep down, Shirley knows that there's something wrong with her son, he wouldn't lash out at her for no reason. 

Meanwhile at the Atkins household, Gray has sat his children down and asked them to tell him what they love and miss most about their Mum. Little Mia says that she misses her Mummy's hair and Mack mentions that he misses her stories. It's then Gray turns the conversation a little bit darker, he informs the children that he misses her too. Suddenly he asks his children "Would you like to see Mummy?!" The children look a little bit confused - I'm unsure how to take this, is he thinking of killing his children just so they can see her again?! What the hell is going through his mind?!" 

Back at Ruby's, Martin and Stacey are finally talking, she's trying to understand why all of a sudden, after everything they have been through as a couple, why Martin would be interested in Ruby? Martin however is quick to blame Stacey, blaming her in the fact that she wasn't around when he needed her the most, but interestingly she asks if she had been, would things have been different? Martin simply informs her that it's too late for them, he's moved on and - and far as he knows - so has she! It's clear to see that Stacey is saddened to hear this, its obvious she still loves Martin, especially the fact that they have children together! What do you guys think, should Martin be with Stacey or Ruby?! Later, back at the Slater household, we see Kush alone on his laptop playing poker! - I'm sure this is going to be another big storyline for Kush, is he going to find himself being addicted to gambling? He's interrupted by Stacey returning from the club. He decides to leave her to it as Kat follows along behind her. Kat knows what's going in Stacey's head, she realises that Stacey loves Martin more than ever - after learning that he only lied to her to protect her. But maybe she also feels a little bit of guilt also, as she believed he had cheated on her, she went and did the same to him! It must be tearing her apart inside, seeing the man she loves be with someone else, least of all her best mate, because of her actions.

Back at the Atkins household, little Mia is coming down the stairs to see her Daddy. Gray informs her to go back to bed, but it's clear that Gray's words are playing on his daughter's mind. She asks her Dad if it's true that they can see their Mother again, especially the fact that Karen has told them that their Mum is an angel now, and you can't see angels. Gray then informs his daughter that if she goes back to bed and falls to sleep, when she wakes up in the morning, their Mum will be back. The little girl smiles at her Daddy and runs back up the stairs. As she disappears, Gray makes his way into the kitchen - slowly and silently, he approaches the kitchen draw and pulls out a lighter. Oh man! Is he thinking of burning the house down with all of them in it?! 

Back at Vic, something is clearly playing on Shirley's mind, she's staring into the abyss as Linda approaches her from behind. It's here they both share a touching conversation. Shirley is reeling from Mick's harsh words from earlier on, Linda is reassuring her Mother-In-Law that Mick didn't mean what he said. But Shirley knows, she's clicked on as to why he's been acting weirdly lately and why he's been lashing out. Shirley confides in Linda that since Frankie revealed that Katy Lewis was her Mum, it's brought all the horrible memories of when Mick was in care back to him, Shirley can't help but feel guilty for his outburst. She emotionally explains to Linda that she wasn't there for him when he was in care, but since she's been back in his life, she has made up for that. Linda promises that everything will be okay and by tomorrow everything would've been forgiven and forgotten. Shirley also explains that even if people do lash out, you shouldn't do it to people who are only trying to help, which is why she felt bad for Linda when she found out Gray had lashed out at her. 

The last scene of the episode is a very powerful one. I want to applaud Toby-Alexander Smith and Linda Henry for their performances in this scene. Gray is at home - he takes one last look at his pictures on the wall of his family, he switches on his gas and holds the lighter in his hand. It looks as if he's ready to end it all, everything! Along with his children! Suddenly, before he can flick the light switch of the lighter, he's interrupted by banging on the front door. Someone is shouting him from the other side. He quickly answers the door before the banging wakes up the children, suddenly Shirley barges her way through and into the living room. It looks as if she's come to confront him about the way he treated Linda, but suddenly she realises she can smell gas. Gray tries to convince her that he accidently left the gas hob on, but informs her that it is now off. But then Shirley clocks on to the lighter in his hand. She knows what he was about to do! It's here she is doing her absolute best to try and persuade the grieving man that this is not the way to resolve things. Gray is clearly at breaking point and he almost lashes out her too as he's informing her that it's none of her business. Shirley is pleading for him not to blow the house up, but even if he does he'll probably effect the whole neighbourhood also! She also informs him that it will not bring Chantelle back! Gray is almost in tears as he informs her that this is the only way, they simply cannot live without her! Shirley then realises that the children are upstairs, she tries another tactic saying that Chantelle wouldn't want him to do what he's about to do! As Shirley is trying to persuade him, he's holding the lighter upwards and as his thumb is resting on the flicker, his hand is shaking uncontrollably. Then she points to the wall "Look at them!" she informs him, Gray then looks to the side and sees the pictures of the wall of his deceased wife and his beautiful children, he sobs as he lets go of the lighter and he almost collapses on the counter. 

Honestly, of all people to talk Gray down, I never thought it would be Shirley. But overall a brilliant episode! Once again, I apologise for being so late. The way things are working out, I should be able to post up a blog each day this week - I want to make sure I am up to date along with the rest of you. I shall try my absolute best to post 2 blogs tomorrow and on Wednesday, I shall follow up on Tuesday's episode. Which will mean by Thursday, I should be up to date with you all. That is my plan however! I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening. Goodnight everyone xXx

[ducktracy]

142. porky’s moving day (1936)

disclaimer: this cartoon contains racist contents, stereotypes, imagery, and concepts. i do not at all endorse this content and i find it gross and wrong. while this isn’t as extreme as other depictions, it just as well needs to be noted and talked about. thank you for understanding and bearing with me.

release date: september 12th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: joe dougherty (porky), elvia allman (homeowner)

the day has come: here since the heart of the buddy days, jack king’s marks his final cartoon at warner bros with porky’s moving day. i’ve warmed up to him and appreciate his ambition, and i’ve heard nothing but great things about his donald duck cartoons at disney, though i can’t say i’m too heartbroken to see him go. better things are on the way from here on out! for his final entry: porky is in charge of a moving company, and has to empty out a house as fast as possible as the threat of the house toppling into the ocean looms.

open to porky’s moving van (appropriately labeled as such in big black letters on the exterior), nothing more than a little wooden shack. porky and his assistant are fast asleep on their cots inside. elsewhere, pandemic: a house brilliantly built threatens to topple over the edge of a cliff, waves repeatedly throwing the house into the air. a woman darts from window to window, crying for help. the woman is none other than a clarabelle cow facsimile (which would have worked maybe 3 years prior, but the disney influence has definitely begun to fade by this point... except for king.) as her house teeters along, she struggles to keep her furniture in place, pushing it back as various items threaten to run her over as the house leans back and forth.

fretfully does clarabelle (better than calling her “The Cow” over and over and over again) ring up the operator in the telephone, begging for “bunyan” (paul bunyan??). her call is interrupted by a drastic lean of the house, and she topples over the window, the cord snapping in the process. she hangs upside down out of the window, still calling into her broken mouthpiece for bunyan. i’m sure this is a reference going way over my head, but it’s obnoxious regardless.

back at porky’s moving van, the phone rings. porky’s assistant wakes up at the sound of the ring and instantly grows punchy, boxing with an invisible foe at the sound of the ring. porky approaches, mallet in hand, and conks the guy over the head. he immediately stops and drones “okay, booooooss.” a phrase that will be repeated 7 TIMES throughout this cartoon, same voice recording and all! a few times i had talked about a review on imdb titled “Ain’t head injuries funny!?” which i found absolutely hilarious—that was a review for this cartoon.

nevertheless, the phone rings on, and porky answers with a chipper “porky the mover!” clarabelle panics on the other end, derailing about how her furniture won’t stay in place and that her house is bound to tip over anytime. “oh for sakes and gosh! we’ll be right over!” porky then tells his assistant “c’mon dopey, we got a job!” wow, that’s not at all seriously offensive: a subtly black-faced caricature of a monkey named dopey whose only line is saying “okay, boss” over and over again. i’m shocked they didn’t give him a stereotypical accent—this was definitely deliberate and not at all accidental. way to keep it classy, king! guh, that’s nasty.

porky crawls outside of his van, where we see his pet ostrich lulu resting by a tree. he wakes her up and positions for her to get into place in front of the van. climbing onto the front, porky grabs the reins—his assistant arbitrarily “okay boss”ing him for no reason at all—and orders lulu to step on it. they race through town, lulu eventually running on air as a result of the high speeds. the animation is rather nice here, and the accompanying siren sounds are a nice touch.

lulu screeches to a halt at their destination, the van swinging a full rotation and right up close to the audience for impact. porky meets clarabelle, who barks some frantic orders to him. porky and clarabelle rush inside, the door slamming on dopey. he rings the doorbell, and the sound of the bell sends him into a fit once more. don williams animates this absolutely beautiful display of animation, that, surprisingly, is NOT from a redrawn colorized version of the cartoon with a grayscale filter over it. this is the real deal! it seems like even the animators weren’t into this one. not sure what happened here, but it’s pretty damn bad. sorry don. another conk on the head, another “okay boss.”

inside, porky unloads the furniture into some outside, unknown source. no image of the furniture piled outside. a piano threatens to flatten him into a piggy pancake after another jostle from the waves outside, and porky steadies himself on the leaning wall for support. “holy smoke, we’ll never get out of here!” porky drops a mattress outside the window, and somehow manages to push the piano out, which crashes into the earth and forms a gaping hole, any trace of the mattress or piano gone. the waves tilt the house in the opposite direction, and porky crashes into a toy tricycle, sending him down the other end of the house. he barrels into dopey, urging him to “snap out of it.” you’ll never guess what dopey says in response! and, of course, dopey dismantles an entire fireplace from the wall and drags it along.

meanwhile, porky turns his attention to other areas of the house, rolling up a portion of a carpet and rolling it with his feet like a log roller. there is some pretty interesting animation as he weaves between hallways, “sucking up” portions of the rug. it certainly has potential that goes unrealized, though. and, for some reason, lulu is in the house, strutting in the way of porky’s giant log of fabric. he runs her over, wrapping her up in an uncontrollable burrito as he barrels down a staircase and crashes into a wall. the impact sends lulu unraveling back UP the staircase (porky still on the floor), eventually rolling to a halt as she twirls around like a top on her beak.

dopey, on the other hand, carries an array of tables, all stacked neatly together like matryoshka dolls. the tables begin to fall, one after the other, forming a makeshift staircase that dopey scales as he heads towards the window. the table is too big to fit through the window, and he’s sent spinning around, flying back down his staircase and sliding across the floor. instead, he turns his attention towards a shelf full of plates, carelessly dumping them into a barrel. he lifts up the barrel, and sure enough it has no bottom to it: a pile of neatly stacked plates rest on the floor. even though the sound effects make it sound like the porcelain is being reduced to shards. what fun! it would have been so much funnier if he neatly carried away a pile of broken fragments instead of neatly stacked plates.

and, for some reason, lulu swallows an alarm clock. the clock goes off, ringing incessantly. uh oh, ringing! dopey immediately discards his plates, NOW reduced to fragments as he boxes against his invisible foe once more. a spare plate conks him on the head, and he (say it with me now) responds “okay, boss.”

porky runs along with a table on his back, eagerly barreling through the doorway. the table is too big to fit through, and he’s sent into a whirl, flying backwards. as he recollects himself, he attempts to free the lodged table from the doorway, but to no avail. dopey meanders along with some sort of string device, almost like a harp? i think it may be some bed springs. the frame gets stuck in the doorway, and he walks along, still holding onto the strings, which threaten to slingshot him any moment.

and, of course, they do. he’s sent rocketing into porky, who’s still carrying the table. he, in turn, is sent flying out the window, barely holding onto half of the table which is SOMEHOW connected to the house inside... by the legs??? it’s like another slingshot. not the most comprehensible cartoon for sure. to make matters worse, a steamboat is parked outside in the choppy waters, the steam scalding porky’s butt. he’s now sent flying back inside, and just in time: water starts to gush in through the window.

porky struggles to block it out, resorting to swimming upstream as the relentless waterfall keeps on coming. it’s just as well: the climax is quickly put to an end as the water sends all of the furniture streaming conveniently into the back of porky’s van. so, this whole time, they were unloading furniture from the opposite end of the house. way to make less work for yourself! lulu pops up from inside a barrel, alarm clock still lodged in her throat. it rings once more, dopey emerging from a laundry hamper swinging. porky rises from a set of dresser drawers, giving him a good ol’ knock on the head with the mallet. i’ll bet you $5 you don’t know what the last line of the cartoon is.

jack king was starting to grow on me, but after seeing this one, i’m back to my opinion of neutrality leaning on dislike. aside from the blatant racism of dopey’s entire existence, this isn’t a funny cartoon at all, and just feels menial and boring. this feels like something straight out of a 1932 bosko cartoon. i think, ultimately, that was what king’s biggest weakness was, especially in comparison to the others: being behind the times. his cartoons would have fit perfectly during the rampant disney attitude of the harman and ising cartoons, but when tex avery and friz freleng are littering their cartoons with witty humor and gags, king’s cartoons don’t stand a chance. his buddy cartoons were probably the best in comparison to ben hardaway’s (though friz had some pretty good entries), and his beans cartoons weren’t bad, but porky wasn’t his strong suit. shanghaied shipmates was probably his strongest effort, and probably the only cartoon of king’s that i’ll be returning to (watch me eat my words.) in terms of this cartoon, it’s a no: don’t waste your time, there’s really nothing to see here. in terms of jack king: it was a good run, maybe, but now we’re onto bigger and better things. this is where things start to get good.

link!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23/01/2021 (Anne-Marie, Juice WRLD, Young Thug)

The site I use for this show has refused to update – which is fine, it’s probably run by one guy and/or their bots – which means I had to go on the UK Singles Chart page from the Official Charts Company for information, and man, I hate that site. Anyway, despite a big #2 debut and a big remix at #3, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo stays steady at #1 for a second week, which shows us a little sliver of how much longevity this song could have – and it’s good too, so I’m glad. Anyway, time for more apathy. Let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

I feel like, especially recently, debuts don’t really stick at all. We have many songs gradually falling below the chart this week, and they place into either two categories: songs that I wished would go away already, and songs that debuted last week. Out of the debuts from last week still on the chart, we have three notable gains and four of the opposite, making this actually an okay week for debuts, but it still feels like people have not got time for new music right now, which is honestly understandable. Out of those debuts, “Streets” by Doja Cat surges up to #20, “Notorious” by Bugzy Malone and Chip drops to #39, “Best Friend” by Saweetie featuring Doja Cat is down to #42, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental unfortunately is up to #51, alongside an even more unfortunate gain for “Chemtrails Over the Country Club” by Lana Del Rey at #58 (Please, don’t make this a hit). That’s it for gains for our debuts last week, as “Vibez” by ZAYN couldn’t even gain from an album boost down to #62 and “WW2” by Unknown T makes the expected second-week drill dive to #63. Our other gains aren’t much to discuss either, although I’ll admit I actually kind of like “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu and remixed by Drake up to #47 (I do really want to see this as a hit). I don’t like, however, the two deep house pastiches at #15 and #16, “Goosebumps” by HVME and “The Business” by Tiesto. What’s even worse is that “Goosebumps”, a remix of Travis Scott’s song, now has a Travis Scott remix, so that remix remix could land this in the top 10 next week. What might not be is also a remix: “34+35” by Ariana Grande featuring Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion up to #3. It was doing okay before the remix so it could stay here but I don’t see the remix as a replacement for the original so it could falter from #3. Of course, we do have other notable fallers, mostly pointless to list and a couple weeks too long on the chart, so I’ll split it into two once again: “Go away, please” and “Go away, but maybe later”. In the first category, we have “Whoopty” by CJ at #9, “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd at #23, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #25, “Mood” by 24kGoldn and iann dior at #28, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #33, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #41, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #48. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #52, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #53, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #54, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #55, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo at #64, “Diamonds” by Sam Smith at #67, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit, Mabel and 24kGoldn at #72 and “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur at #74. I like a fair few of these songs but I’d like some new blood in the charts, like the second category of songs that seem to have started dropping out prematurely: “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #22, “Loading” by Central Cee at #25, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #45, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #57, “Plugged In” by Fumez the Engineer and A92 at #59, “champagne problems” by Taylor Swift at #65, “Body” by Megan Thee Stallion at #68, “pov” by Ariana Grande at #70, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #71 and, finally, since I only cover the top 75, “Your New Boyfriend” by Wilbur Soot at #73. We have one return here, and that’s for a song that’s a couple years old but from a new star: Olivia Rodrigo’s “All I Want” returning to #32, from the High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Soundtrack which I had assumed was new initially but did peak at #72 prior to this. The song’s fine, but I don’t review returning entries, and honestly it’s even more of a Disney teen-pop ballad that “drivers license” is, so I don’t find much point in making exceptions. Note to self to edit the drop-outs in whenever you know what they are.

Edit: The notable drop-outs are “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey, “no body, no crime” by Taylor Swift featuring HAIM, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy, “Savage Love (Laxed - Siren Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Jawsh 685, “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, Skepta and the late Pop Smoke, and “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac.

NEW ARRIVALS

#60 – “Friday (Dopamine Re-Edit)” – Riton and Nightcrawlers featuring Mufasa & Hypeman

Produced by Riton

“Push the Feeling On” is a song by Scottish collective Nightcrawlers that is known much more commonly for its classic deep house remix by American DJ MK, which would be known now for how much it’s been sampled in pop music: You’ve probably heard the synth riff or vocal chop in “Hotel Room Service” by Pitbull, “Dinner Guest” by AJ Tracey and MoStack, “Wiggle It” by French Montana and City Girls, “House Party” by MIST and Fredo, or even “Nightcore in tha Club” by Viper of all people. So, 20 or so years later, here comes English DJ Riton making another official remix alongside dually-credited Musafa & Hypeman, who I guess are social media influencers from articles I see about them. That would explain why this is charting... but yeah, this is lazy. A female vocalist sings “It’s Friday, Saturday, Sunday again” to the melody of the classic vocal loop, and the rest of the song is a worthless and artless “future house” track made for no-one, with Musafa & Hypeman delivering nothing more than obnoxious skits and faint ad-libs. I’ll admit, the second verse where it suddenly drops into her vocals over the haunting vibration of bass is inspired, but it goes nowhere. It uses the same drop as the original MK remix and if it isn’t, it uses a vocaloid drop that sounds way too similar to blackbear’s “hot girl bummer” for my liking. Once you hear it, you may not unhear it – although I doubt you’d come back to this song for any reason other than clicking the wrong song when looking for the original MK remix, which is still great. This, however, is useless.

#50 – “Skengman” – Ghetts featuring Stormzy

Produced by Ten Billion Dreams

This is actually Ghetts’ first ever track to hit this chart as a lead solo act and that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Whilst Ghetts is very important to grime and his mixtapes are considered classics, he’s not exactly the peak of commercial success – and is somewhat infamous for said squandering as he released a diss track against MTV for not thinking he was that great of an MC – which wasn’t exactly helped by beef with the Boy Better Know collective. It makes a lot of sense for him to ride off the coattails of the new generation of English rappers and make a drill-adjacent track with Stormzy, the track’s namesake. It also makes sense for this to be good: we have some pretty ominous keys and horns that sound great under this cold and minimal trap beat, relying less on percussion than it does the eerie strings. Sure, the chorus is pretty awkward and tired, with Ghetts not selling it nearly as he well as he does the verses, which even then are off-kilter. The second verse – by Stormzy – is where this song really shines, as gorgeous vocal samples combine with the rise of the strings, looming 808s and Stormzy’s deep contrast of a voice before the beat drops and Stormzy lets out his best flows. Honestly, after Stormzy’s verse, not even a beat shift really makes Ghetts’ other two verses worthwhile, as his just seem short and ineffective, even if the beat is going to keep on intensifying with these incredible strings and horns – lest we forget the choir of “Skengmen” behind him on the chorus. I really wish this was a solo Stormzy track, with no disrespect to Ghetts, who just feels out of place if anything. This could have been a lot better.

#49 – “Lumidee” – Chip featuring Young M.A. and Young Adz

Produced by the Fanatix

Most of our new arrivals are hip-hop or hip-hop-related, so of course whenever we see Stormzy, I guess we have to have a Chip song the same day. Is that beef still going on? Regardless, this is a very different song, named after the artist behind the awkward, minimal R&B sample used here. Listen, I like 2000s R&B, but “Never Leave You (Uh Oooh, Uh Oooh)” is just a fatal misunderstanding of what makes Timbaland’s production good. Surely that would make any reworking an improvement, especially with these subtle strings and guitars under a dancehall beat just as awkward as the original. Oh, and I call the strings subtle because it’s not like Young Adz could ever be, or Chip for that matter, as both of them deliver stiff, ugly performances about how the sex is spectacular... but also how they want this woman to treat them kindly after they cheat on her because they buy her nice things. “They” of course being everyone here, as Chip plays the same role as Adz – who only grabs the chorus – and hell, I think Young M.A., who could deliver a narrative here that criticises Chip’s attitude, just expresses the same ideas. I’ll admit that M.A.’s flow and cadence is a lot smoother, less nasally Auto-Tuned and honestly kind of good, but this honestly, much like “Skengman”, reeks of missed potential. A dancehall back-and-forth about love that means nothing but sex and materialism sounds fun on paper but nothing’s really done with it here, which is what I’d expect from these guys in all honesty. It’s weird and kind of cool to see Young M.A. on the UK Singles Chart again (She appeared on an Eminem track around this time last year too), though, so I’ll give it that.

#44 – “Pinging (6 Figures)” – Central Cee

Produced by ItchyDaProducer

Well, we can now add Central Cee to the drill guys that spark a top 50 hit out of nowhere every couple weeks. I actually quite like “Loading” mostly because of the fusion of hard 808s with those slick horn samples. As an aside, the Genius.com page for “Loading” has a comment saying the beat is “disgusting” that has a ton of downvotes, probably because of some sort of disconnect between cultures and audiences. This new track is a lot less interesting, though, relying on a really cheap guitar loop, but otherwise I do think the drill percussion works here, especially with the sliding 808s and Central Cee’s pretty constant delivery. I can’t really say he’s saying anything of interest other than the fact he supposedly turned down a six-figure record deal to stay independent, which of course is the chorus, so it’s not like this is great, or even good, but it makes the best out of a bad loop, and I can respect that, especially with piano touches, although this apparently sounds like another beat Itchy’s made so I’m not sure if that deserves much praise either. You know, I really thought Central Cee could have been on to something with the jazzier touches, but once again, this is missed potential.

#37 – “Wellerman” – The Longest Johns

Produced by ???

There aren’t any producer credits for this one, though I’m not sure to how much extent you can “produce” a sea shanty. It’s not often for this show that I can say a song that debuted is from the 1800s, but this song dates back to around 1833, where the Weller Brothers and their “Wellerman” ships became the most important merchant traders in New Zealand, operating mostly through their base in Otago. Naturally, sea shanties are sang at sea but it’s seldom seen that said songs surge up as singles on Spotify. Thanks to TikTok, however, this 2018 cover by the Longest Johns, a folk group from Bristol, debuted in the top 40. There’s no instrumentation, so this is just an a-capella cover, with some genuinely great vocal harmonisation, even if these guys aren’t great singers – not that you have to be to sing sea shanties. The end product is a pretty fun track about wishing for a supply ship to come whilst whaling, and that they hope to come home soon – or something like that. Look, I hope this doesn’t stick around even though I have the feeling it will. It’s not a bad song at all and the guys are talented, but come on, guys, it’s a sea shanty from TikTok. As that damn app still runs a lot of the charts, though, I suppose I should embrace this, because it is harmless, and that’s really all there is to it.

#31 – “Bad Boy” – Juice WRLD and Young Thug

Produced by Pi’erre Bourne

Now, I’m usually cynical about posthumous releases from Jarad, and I was initially for this, but it has been in circulation as a leak and it was also completely finished with a music video produced before his death by Cole Bennett of Lyrical Lemonade, who directed a lot of Juice’s earlier videos (including “Lucid Dreams”). It has Young Thug on the second verse and Pi’erre Bourne on production so I can’t be mad at this at all. As long as these posthumous projects from now on don’t have tacked-on features and are surrounded by collaborations from only his genuine friends who cared for him, I have no issue with them going on – even if I’d prefer for all of his demos to be released with proceeds going to charity (which should be done with most if not all artists after their passing unless they have an album on the way). It helps that this song isn’t just respectful, but it’s incredible. The hard trap beat from Pi’erre has this great squealing guitar and noisy synth blend that kicks ass whenever it comes in, especially when at odds with the more casual bleeping in the verses. Juice’s chorus is infectious and fast-paced, exactly how he should be on his “banger” tracks, but his verses are really a genius blend between his melodic and technical skills that I wish I heard more from Juice when he was alive. Oh, and Young Thug has what might be verse of the year, with smooth flow switches as always, unique inflections as always as well as playing with the beat perfectly as he drops the nasal screech of his “skrrt!” ad-libs amidst a more simple, intense flow by the end – with the addition of that squealing guitar. Is the content unique? Maybe not, as this is mostly flexing over an explosive trap beat, but there are enough quotable rhymes and vocal deliveries that make this more than honestly the sum of its parts, as out of context I don’t think this beat, this feature or Juice’s hook could work nearly as well as they do. As is, however, this is one of Juice’s best songs, hell, even one of Thugger’s best – and he has a strong discography – so, yeah, for the part of me that appreciates ignorant, stupid-hard trap-rap, this clicked. I hope it’s a hit and even if it isn’t, this is one of the best send-offs they could have chosen for Juice, and I’m just glad it’s finally met an official release.

#2 – “Don’t Play” – Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals

Produced by Mojam and Digital Farm Animals

“Bad Boy” seems like it should be the big story here, as it’s a massive lead and/or final posthumous single from one of the biggest rappers in history featuring another A-list that is getting a lot of praise and YouTube views... but alas, this is the UK, so here’s KSI and Anne-Marie. Is this KSI-Digital Farm Animals collaboration going anywhere? He had a similar one last year with “Really Love” featuring Craig David and that was kind of big – still is – and I think also debuted at #2 behind a really strong #1. They also had awkward, ugly cartoon cover arts, so maybe this is a collaborative project between KSI and the EDM producers? Well, “producer”, because Digital Farm Animals is actually just one guy. I think I honestly wouldn’t mind that considering how better KSI pulls off rapping over EDM than hip-hop. Anne-Marie is filling Craig David’s role, although this time with a verse and lead billing, so it could be from an upcoming album that may or may not exist. Honestly, who cares? Is the song good? No, the chorus is lazy, the UK garage-adjacent beat is cheap and KSI gets outshined in his verse both performance and mixing-wise by orchestra hits. Is the content interesting? Well, KSI’s lyrics are supposedly subliminal disses towards other YouTubers, which annotators on Genius have “marked as a stretch”, only to be met with downvotes from fans because of course, they would. Is it catchy? I guess so, that is the purpose. Hence, we have an inoffensive pop song from three artists who have made better but mostly through freak accident. Top 10 material? Probably not, but the charts are weak and it’s the UK so you can’t really expect much more. Also, why does this have an extended version?

Conclusion

Whilst I’m writing this conclusion, the site I use still has yet to update, so I’ll actually have to do a Kanye in 2016 and edit this post-release for the top 10 and drop-outs. For now, though, I can pretty solidly give Best of the Week to “Bad Boy” by the late Juice WRLD and Young Thug, with an Honourable Mention to I guess “Wellerman” by the Longest Johns for at least being different, although most of these debuts reek of missed potential. “Wellerman” could have been a lot more jaunty with actual instrumentation, “Don’t Play” could have replaced Anne-Marie with an actual personality, Ghetts could have gone in harder on “Skengman” and the beat in “Pinging (Six Figures)” could have actually existed. Therefore, the songs with the least potential are the victims here, as Dishonourable Mention goes to Chip, Young Adz and Young M.A. for “Lumidee” and Worst of the Week goes to “Friday (Dopamine Re-Edit)” by like, four complete nobodies, honestly, I do not see the purpose in that song existing at all. Well, here’s the top 10 for this week – or at least it will be here in a couple hours:

I can’t make any solid predictions for next week other than Billie Eilish and ROSALIA, maybe Lil Skies? You can follow me @cactusinthebank if you’re vaguely interested in doing so, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next week.

[survivingthejungle]

in honor of this recent dope ass eclipse here’s a couple words for my favorite vampire biker gang.

__________________________________

It was common knowledge amongst the residents of Santa Carla, California that being alone at nighttime was particularly hazardous to one’s life. When the sun went down, bad things happened. But what those residents didn’t know was that bad things were bound to happen whenever the moon and her friends came out to play.

All those residents, of course, except for the local witches. Granted there were only two- you and your mother- but two was enought for one town. Especially one that had enough supernatural activity to begin with.

Those rebellious teenage motorcycle fanatics, who seemed like they could pose a much bigger threat than breaking in windows and stealing snacks from the local 7/11 if you stared at them long enough. The very few who knew, or at least had an idea of what they were, kept their mouths shut, if only to protect their own wellbeing. What they were. Those half human, half parasite hybrids who preserved themselves by taking the lives of others, those supernatural, otherworldly beings who only came out in the dark. Those vampires.

What the residents of Santa Carla were unaware of was that, contrary to popular belief, could go outside into the sunlight without bursting into flames, never to be seen again. No, unbeknownst to most, these beings would forever be able to go outside, regardless of whether the sun was out or not, so long as the moon could block it. For just a few short hours, so long as some part of the sun was obscured by the moon, vampires were free to roam about wherever they liked. The moon, after all, is where they got their power from.

Little did these vampires know, however, that witches’ power comes from the moon as well. And with this eclipse coinciding with your 17th birthday, you’d finally receive your supernatural powers to help you keep their threat at bay. All your life you’d been successful doing herbal magic, natural magic; the kind that you could sustain through real, tangible, physical objects. On every witch’s 17th birthday, however, she received her supernatural powers as well. Getting them on an eclipse granted something extra special for her, however. When her power comes from the moon and the sun overlapping, she- you- not only has control of her elements during the daytime and night time, but also reigns superior over any other supernatural in her realm. Those vampires were in your realm. Whether they knew it or not, you were officially in charge of them.

For you, this meant that you had the ability to control them- you could freeze them in midair for all you wanted, you were basically telekinetic. That didn’t really matter to you, though. All you cared about today was making sure you did everything within your power to stop anyone from being exsanguinated by the rebellious undead.

__________________

The slightest shadow fell over Santa Carla when the lost boys opened their eyes and left their subterranean pile of ruins.

“Damn,” Paul said, smiling, “Been a while since any of us got some sun. This what two P.M. looks like around here?”

A car, your car, pulled to a stop overlooking Hudson’s Bluff. You planned on getting out as soon as you parked, but you were a little too busy dancing to Maroon 5, so you waited until the song finished before you actually got out of your car. The vamps were relaxing by their bikes, staring at you, slightly dumbstruck and at a loss for words. Your 5'6 self walked straight up to them, lanyard hanging on your neck, sunglasses colorful and reflective. “Listen. Here’s the deal,” you started. Why waste any time with politeness dealing with serial killers? “I know what you are. And you know what you are. Let’s not pretend to be clueless, ‘kay?”

David was at a loss for words, but wouldn’t reflect that in his facial expressions or the way he carried himself to stand toe to toe with you, staring down at you menacingly. Or at least trying to. You weren’t scared of him, you had no reason to be, you were in charge of him! “And just what,” he smirked condescendingly, “exactly, are we, kiddo?”

“Give it a rest, David. You and I, and Paul, and Marko, and Dwayne, know what you all are. But let’s cut to the chase.” You sidestepped him, giving him a moment to let the shock register on his face before he turned to you again. “You no longer have the freedom to run around completely unsupervised killing anybody you feel like. I’m assuming you have yet to realize I’m a witch?”

Paul, of course, was having a field day with this. He didn’t like your vibe at first, but you were cute, and assertive. And you got David to lose his cool within the first 2 minutes of meeting him. That deserved a certain amount of respect, in his book. He wanted to play along. “And what does that mean, little miss?” he asked you.

“It means, and I’m sure David remembers this, that as a witch who’s seventeenth birthday is during a total solar eclipse, in the simplest of terms; I’m officially in charge of you punks. What I say goes. and I say no more killing. There are plenty of other ways to survive.”

“And what are you gonna do if we don’t listen to you?” Dwaye tried. “We get enough babysitting from Max as it is.”

“Maybe I didn’t clarify this, but… I said I was in charge of you. I meant all of you. Like… All the vampires around here. All five of you.” They circled you now, like a flock of vultures.

“What if do we keep feeding on people?” Marko asked you, twirling a strand of your hair in his hand. It was relaxing as hell, and a damn good distraction technique.

“Try me and find out, prettyboy.” You broke the circle and headed back to your car.

As you walked away, David called out, “We gonna be seein’ you around much?”

“Don’t have much of a choice! It’s my JOB to ‘be seein’ you around’ now!”

“Why aren’t we goin’ for her?” Dwayne asked, “She knows too much!”

“Relax, she’s not gonna do anything. Witches hate blowing their cover.”

“I like her,” Paul shrugged.

David rolled his eyes. “Keep it in your pants.”

_______________________

“Tadpoles? You in?” You called into the boarkwalk comic shop. The Frogs were notorious for preaching fire-and-brimstone in regards to the undead, and if you wanted to maintain any sort of peace between the magical, undead, and mortal, you’d have to talk it out with them. You headed to the back, and found the two brothers alongside some blonde kid.

“Hey, beat it, lady,” The one wearing a ridiculous red bandana around his head told you, once he turned around and realized someone was standing there. You figured that one was Edgar. “We’re closed,”

You scoffed. “Ha. Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to right now, but if it involves messing with the vamps who live down in that cave, you better cancel your plans. They’re not gonna be a problem anymore.”

“How do you know about vampires, girl?” the taller, tanner one asked. Had to be Alan.

Rather than respond to his borderline sexist attitude, you just flicked your wrist and made a shelf full of comic books fall to the floor while maintaining eye contact. “It’s kind of my job, punk. I’m serious. If you start some unnecessary beef with my guys, we aren’t gonna get along to well. You mind you business, we mind ours. Deal?” You held your hand out.

The blonde one spoke up. You hadn’t heard of him yet. “Well uh… I don’t think that’s gonna work out too well. See, these vampire dudes, they kinda turned my brother and his girlfriend into halves, and, well… the only way to turn them back is to kill them. So… We kinda have to kill them.”

You immediately cracked up. “'The only way?’ Kid, really? Who told you the only way to turn back a half is to kill some vampires?”

“Not just any vampire. The HEAD vampire,” said Edgar.“

“Honey… No. You are so, unbelievably, misinformed. There are plenty of ways to turn back a half. Good thing you found an ACTUAL professional before you did something you’d regret. Where’s your brother and his girlfriend right now?”

“Uhhh… back at my house, why?”

“Come on. Let’s go pick ‘em up and we can get this whole deal sorted out right now.”

______________________

Back at your home, the Frogs, the blonde one, Sam, his brother, Michael, and Michael’s girlfriend, Star, all sat in a circle at the table in your greenhouse. It took about 20 minutes, but you finally finished mixing a concoction of herbs, liquids, and spells before pouring two glasses and placing them in front of the halves. “Drink up. It’ll be easier if you close your eyes and hold your breath.”

Michael grimaced. “Are you sure this will work?”

“Tell me if you can still fly and grow fangs afterwards, let’s find out.”

_____________________

“Hey David, we aren’t, uh, actually lettin’ that girl tell is what to do, are we?” Marko asked.

“'Course not. Four of us against one little witch? She wouldn’t stand a chance,” he responded smugly.

“I sure hope you’re not talking about me!” You spoke up from behind the 4 of them. Paul immediately smiled upon seeing you; he thought you were just a trip. If they were all being honest with themselves, they all liked you to some extent. Dwayne admired your dedication to protecting others, David liked how you weren’t afraid to speak up to them, and Marko liked how you just seemed to have a llittle quirk about you. Paul, for the most part, just thought you were pretty, but he also appreciated that you seemed to have a sense of humor and you looked like the kind of girl who would be fun at parties. “I’ve got nothing against you all, really, but I’m being completely deadass when I say that if you start fuckin’ shit up around here, you’re gonna regret it.”

“Chill out, girl!” Paul told you, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “It’s in our nature. Can’t argue with nature.”

“Watch me.” You slipped under his arm to get out of his grasp.

_____________________

No more than 5 minutes later, the sun was totally eclipsed by the moon, and onlookers stood staring up on a packed beach, completely oblivious to their surroundings. The boys picked off some passed out drunk and left the scene so quickly, no one noticed they were there in the first place. They hurried back to the cave, not even entertaining the possibility that you knew what was going on or you would try to stop them, but when they found themselves frozen in place, feeling as if they were being crushed under tons and tons of pressure, they were unpleasantly surprised. "What the fuck have I been telling you all day? Seriously, I was hoping we could get along but, if y'all keep doing shit like this, I’ll just get rid of you right now.”

You appeared from around a corner at the entrance of a cave, your arm outstretched towards them, making a claw shape with your hand as to hold them in place. You sent the passed out drunk guy up to the top of the cliff with your other arm. “Jesus, girl, let us go! This don’t feel too nice!” groaned Paul.

You refused. “This is your last warning. Get a blood bag supply or something, go vegetarian, but no more killing people. You’re too grown to be doing childish shit like that. Do we have a deal?”

They agreed, and you finally released them. They rolled their necks and arms, trying to losen up again. David looked absolutely enraged, and his line of sight was focused directly on you. “Don’t ever do that again.”

You shrugged. “Don’t give me a reason to then, buddy.” The moon was beginning to move out of the suns way now, their time was running out. “Alright, I gotta babysit now, but stay outta trouble. I’ll be back around later tonight, I’m outtie! See ya!”

They boys reentered their cave. “I’m gonna kill her,” growled David.

“I’m gonna marry her,” mused Paul.

___________________

I’m way too into this it’s going on wattpad i’ve made up my mind I have so much more i wanna say but i’ve been writing this for days, i’m back in thr flow, i go back to school on tuesday and i’’ve been procrastinating on all my homework but…… at least I wrote for yall

also im gonna go ahead and pretend that time periods don't exist because if i want to write about jammin to maroon 5 during a total solar eclipse in the 80s u can bet ur ass im gonna

[poipoi1912]

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 19x05

(a tiny bit late, because I’m already working on my new Barisi episode tag and I got distracted)

:D

Overall Thoughts

A half-decent episode, a strong vibe of “been there, done that,” and some very solid acting by regulars and guest actors alike. Not a complete snoozefest (though it did get progressively worse, somehow), but too predictable to be truly entertaining. I am sensing a bit of a slump, but right now we’re at a comfortably mediocre level I could live with, lol. Still, I’m hoping the show will bounce back with episodes that are a little more creative.

Case-Related Thoughts

Uh. Yikes? They see what is effectively a stick figure-like age progression sketch and immediately they’re all “IT’S HER!!!” and then they see footage of her taking the subway and immediately they’re all “WE’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE!!!” and then the brother’s story is a little off and they’re all “HE’S THE KILLER”.

Like, maybe show some restraint? Y’all are cops?

All of the drama could have been avoided, which is just poor writing. I mean, I laughed my ass off at “there are no orange groves in Pennsylvania”. That was their other big clue? Not the fact the girl refused to give a DNA sample but SVU released her into the custody of some random family regardless?

Speaking of, why on earth did they allow that girl to move in the family home literally 5 minutes after she was found? Was she even stable enough? And the continued refusal to give a DNA sample was certainly suspicious. Sure, the dad was covering up a crime, so his refusal to get the girl’s DNA tested rang true, but by that point it was already too late. They should have tested her DNA before they ever told the family. Why would they risk the emotional damage? To protect her, or respect her own privacy? Okay, but how about protecting the family as well? How about protecting the mother from the pain of losing her “daughter” twice? That’s the one parallel the episode failed to draw between the main case and Liv/Noah. Liv would never want to give that mother false hope.

Also, the son was acting way too creepy from the start. The dad did that a lot better (then again, Paul Schulze is always fantastic); his reaction was part creepy and part “maybe he’s being weird because he doesn’t believe that’s their daughter, but he doesn’t want to hurt his wife by saying that out loud”. Meanwhile, the son was practically all, “Yep. I did it. I don’t know who this random girl is, but she sure isn’t related to me. My actual sister is dead because I personally murdered her.”

Sonny and Continuity

Sonny crossing himself when finding dead bodies is a lovely touch, and I love that the show hasn’t forgotten his faith or his reverence for human life.

We got yet another random and unnecessary tidbit about Sonny's family life. All I’m gonna say is, I sure hope somebody in the writers’ room is keeping track of all this, because they're giving us 3 new tidbits every week and I feel like we're going to start getting conflicting info by episode 14. "So, when my pops was in the hospital for a month back in 2007, and I was in the waiting room, but also doing a student exchange program in Italy at the same time, and my oldest sister was pregnant with her first, but she also had a 3-year-old at home, and my mom was baking cookies for the nurses every Tuesday, but she had already been dead for 2 years, and...."

What is the point of all that? I appreciate the fact they’re trying to fill in some blanks, and Sonny has always been the type to overshare, so it does fit his personality, but it’s still kind of strange. Is Sonny stuck in the past, reminiscing literally at all times? Or do the writers want us to get to know him a little better? If so, why can’t he talk about his current life? Fill in those blanks? Or, even better, why not show us that current life? Lord knows we’re seeing enough of Liv’s life, but all the other characters have gotten nothing. Sonny and Barba especially had their one and only “personal” episode (one each) back in Season 16. It’s nice to hear about Sonny’s family, but it’d be nicer if we actually saw them :D

Sonny and Continuity Vol. II - Emotion

As I’ve said countless times, Sonny is always hit hard when the victims are younger, and I love the idea that a young-ish Sonny would have followed a missing child case even a decade ago (which would have made him how old? And was he a cop at the time? In college? In the Academy? A rookie? What year is it?) Especially since he was going through something emotionally traumatic, like having an ill parent. The ICU means his dad didn’t have it easy, so Sonny was probably worried and was trying to find an outlet for his stress (I’ve been there. Hell, I am there, that’s partly why I write these posts lol).

That said, I also loved seeing that Sonny’s sensitivity and attachment to children led him astray. It gave him false hope, and an overeagerness which is typical of him in general, but uncharacteristic of him as a cop; he usually has good instincts, but he’s also the cop who will triple-check every possible explanation before forming a working theory, so I liked seeing him get carried away. As sad as it was (because it was totally obvious he was wrong, since it was totally obvious the brother was guilty), I liked seeing him falter.

Not that he really faltered, or not that it was acknowledged.

I sincerely thought Sonny was going to get in trouble with a reporter (lol just kidding, of course that ended up being deleted) because he spoon-fed the girl various details she might not otherwise have known. There’s helpful questions and then there’s leading questions. Sonny was so excited about finding “little Em” that he let his emotions cloud his judgment. Again, that made sense, because he had a special attachment to this particular case, but I kept waiting for the payoff. I thought “Emma” would parrot the info Sonny fed her during her TV interview, or something. I kept expecting him to be reprimanded, later on. I wanted to see him acknowledge his mistake, and maybe even get punished for it. In a subtle way, maybe in a conversation with Liv, who would respect his guilt but would warmly yet sternly tell him not to get so easily excited in the future.

Except Sonny was punished via carrying a dead child. And I don’t know if that was even intentional (as a punishment) or accidental (most likely).

Sonny’s Punishment

As strong of a scene as it was, and not to get gory on ya, I gotta say, carrying a corpse like that after all those years? Wouldn't that girl be, like, a pile of bones at that point? And, dare I say, wouldn’t it have been more jarring and tragic if we had seen Sonny carrying an actual lump of remains, instead of an identifiable human shape? I would have gotten chills. But then, they wouldn't have been able to do the dramatic "carrying the body of a child" shot which...

Thank God Peter is such a good actor, and such an understated actor, at that. He is always given these dramatic-ass moments, but he never overacts, so he is able to bring some truth and some honesty to these otherwise melodramatic scenes. His performance is what grounds Sonny. I love how he goes big when the moment is more comedic, but he always shuts down and gives us these small, numb and nauseated expressions when the moment is tragic. The writing is heavy-handed enough, so a “bigger” performance would hurt its emotional impact.

I swear, sometimes it’s like the writers are trying to turn Sonny into this tortured, “vulnerable” version of a Gary Stu, since he has been the de facto male lead for so long, and there’s no one else around to do that sort of stuff, but Peter is valiantly playing him as a three-dimensional human being, because he’s a character actor at heart. As a viewer, I appreciate that.

If I had written this episode (which I wouldn’t have), instead of that entire “finding the remains” scene, I would have had the mother talk to Sonny after the trial, not Liv. I would have had the mother coldly tell Sonny, “I wish you’d never found her,” which would have been a great juxtaposition to “I look at you and I see the angel who found my daughter.” That would have been a more subtle way of punishing him, but just as much of a gut punch, and I’m sure Peter would have given us a reaction which would have been equally heartbreaking.

(WAIT SHOULD I PUT THAT IN MY BARISI EPISODE TAG? WHICH I’VE ALREADY STARTED WRITING? HELL YEAH I WILL. I don’t only fix the lack of Barisi, I also fix the missed opportunities for closure :D)

Stray Thoughts

Sucks that Fin was off for two weeks in a ro... wait he was in this episode? Oh okay.

Barba was underused again, but his face (and his voice!) when he asked if Liv was okay made his entire appearance worth it not really though, he needs more to do.

What was the brother convicted of? Wasn’t he a small-ish child when he killed his sister?

Girl: “Don't touch me!”

(Sonny approaches her with the clear intention of touching her)

Girl: “I said don’t touch me!

(Sonny keeps moving in her direction with his hands literally outstretched)

Girl: I SAID DON’T TOUCH MEEEE!!!!

*DUN DUN*

Oh, SVU, will you never learn? A “dramatic” moment doesn’t work it if it’s based on total contrivance.

The Noah storyline is getting predictable. Liv is going to start grudgingly trusting Sheila, despite her original (and correct) instincts, and then Sheila is going to pull something intense; kidnapping (in time for February sweeps, perhaps), or maybe making her case (to somehow vacate the adoption, which, lol) more legitimate by gathering “evidence” Liv is unfit to be a mother. You know Liv is going to get into trouble eventually, with a perp or a long case, and Off-Screen Lucy will be conveniently busy for once, and Sheila will volunteer to babysit, etc etc. That said, I loved that first courtroom scene. It’s always nice to see Langan, and Brooke Shields is very good (in setting up the fact she’s possibly deranged and will go awf later in the season)

Continuity has been better this season, but apparently it doesn’t reach back to the Stabler years, just to SVU 2.0. So I guess it’s understandable that they virtually redid an entire episode from SVU 1.0 and no one had any memory of it happening.

Amanda: “Liv’s going to bring in a reunification specialist.” (cut to Liv doing the reunification her own damn self) I love this show and its unintentional hilarity :D

Sonny’s sweet face when the parents thought they recognized their daughter? Peter is so good. He really broke my heart last night.