#ESPECIALLY P-2 WITH ITS FUCKING LEAD UP BEFORE THE ACTUAL FIGHT

[codaynamics]

i've perfected ACT 1 and 2 of Ultrakill,

which also means i finally experienced the prime sanctums!

i will not be perfecting the prime sanctums!

[deripmaver]

laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind. 

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao 

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.”  Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n 

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine. 

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

[nicanario]

this post is a product of its time

tw: discussion of racism, homophobia, misogyny and a short mention of sexual abuse.

ok, this is basically gonna be a very long rambling post about my not fully developed thoughts on the justification many people give to bigotry when talking about the past: "it was a product of its time"

it would be fair to say, with me being a raging SJW socialist scumbag, that I don't think this is a very good argument and is most of the time actually an excuse to not think about the problems inherent to our society, historical or not, and, by extension, the problems with ourselves. but I do think that sometimes, just sometimes, this can be a valid point, or at least one that raises some interesting questions.

I'm going to cite examples from several pieces of media, but fear not, I'll try to make this as accesible as I can.

so, let's take Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) as our first case study. this show has, correctly, been called progressive by everyone except for clueless people who don't know much about Star Trek's history, Star Trek's crew, Star Trek's cast, or, frankly, Star Trek. because if you ignore the clear, sometimes in-your-face political history and present of the franchise, I don't think you know much about it at all. I do think you can call yourself a fan if you like it, you may have watched every single episode for all I know. but lots of mental gymnastics are needed to ignore the political progressiveness Star Trek has had since its very beginning.

episodes like Let That Be Your Last Battlefield are obviously anti-racist, at least in their intention. but the episode in question really is "a product of its time," and at the very end fails to uphold its ideals. the episode ends with the two aliens (who are LITERALLY. BLACK ON ONE SIDE. AND WHITE ON THE OTHER. BUT IN THE OPPOSITE SIDES.) fighting each other on their devastated planet, and the crew is like, "oh yeah if they both would give up on their hatred that they both share both of them equally" when it has been firmly established that one is the oppressor and the other one is the oppressed.

and that's a lot of Star Trek, not just TOS. even Discovery, one of the most recent series, has done Bury Your Gays (and Trans) TWICE (though both times literally rectified it, which is cool). there are episodes of the franchise that are overtly racist, or misogynistic, etc. TOS is lauded, mostly justifiably, as very progressive, especially for the standards of the time. they put a woman of colour as one of the senior staff, for fuck's sake. of course, when you analyse that same character, as with most of their intentions at being progressive, you'll see that she was relegated and sometimes even outright mistreated when she had the potential to be much more. but, at that time, it was a lot.

I had a friend (emphasis on "had") who, after I told him about TOS's both progressiveness and constant misogyny, told me something like "imagine feminists trying to complain about a show from the 60s." so, with unearned spite, he was, in some way, trying to make the argument that it was a product of its time.

you could say Star Trek, all of Star Trek, is "a product of its time" in the sense that it's not always perfect. uh, yes, I would agree. but that doesn't mean people have to accept it. well, I mean, the show is kinda over, you have to accept it's that way. but you don't have to accept that it's not wrong just because it was a product of its time.

H. P. Lovecraft, as another example, was a greatly influential writer whose works still shape a lot of people's ideas to this day. I have only ever read like one of his stories, so don't expect me to have an opinion on his works. but I can have an opinion on what I know about him as a person (he did have a life outside his writing, after all). and, yeah, he was a huge asshole. if you want to know more in depth about the subject, please watch Hbomberguy's video on him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8u8wZ0WvxI

but basically, he was incredibly racist & homophobic. some people might even say, "he was a product of his time." well, there are two possible rebuttals to that. the surface level one, and the one that examines why that argument is wrong to the core.

The Surface Level Response to "it was a product of its time": um, no it wasn't. Lovecraft was more racist than a lot of people even in his time. he wasn't just a guy who carried the racist beliefs of his society like everyone else, he was a reactionary who actively thought and discussed how racist he was, and how right he was for being that way. but that's only applicable to Lovecraft. one can't argue the same for Star Trek: TOS, because TOS did try to be more progressive and more anti-racist than the rest of its society. that leads us to the next response.

The Response that Actually Deals with the Fact that No Matter How Progressive You're Trying to Be, Your Failings Can Still be Criticized: the thing is, trying to excuse Lovecraft's or Star Trek's bigotry because they were "products of their times" misses the fact that racism is still wrong, and some people knew that in those times as well. people from these times weren't all naive or stupid or whatever. they had the capacity for rational thinking. they could stop and think, "hey, maybe what we're doing is wrong." and the fact is, some people did. not perfectly, not to our standars, but they did. everyone could have stopped and think. but most of them didn't, and we can criticize them for it. racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. HURT PEOPLE. horribly. massively.

also, even if you agree with the "it's a product of its time" argument, some people aren't criticising people's or work's bigotry: they're explaining why they don't want to experience it.

The Talons of Weng-Chiang is a 1977 Doctor Who serial, and it's one of the show's more racist stories. almost all the villains are Chinese, every single Chinese person is a villain. there's yellowface, slurs, stereotypes, the Doctor speaking nonsense words instead of actual Chinese, and a general belittling of Chinese culture.

note that I'm neither Chinese nor of Chinese descent. I have been searching for hours for a few posts I've read a while ago (some by people who are of Asian descent) about this episode and I can't find them. sorry.

suffice it to say, even though I love Jago & Litefoot (the audio series and the characters), it's not an acceptable episode at all. but it's also important to remark that, because of it, some people aren't going to want to watch it. sometimes, people aren't saying "the episode shouldn't be this way," which causes others to answer that it was "a product of its time." sometimes, people are just saying, "this is an episode that attacks real people. I don't want to see it. I don't care if it was common in that era to be racist, i don't want to experience it."

however, there is an interesting point to the "it's a product of its time" argument. after all, everything is influenced by its society, for better or worse. and we can't change it anymore. TOS sometimes didn't quite understand the political themes it wanted to explore. Lovecraft was a horrible bigot. Talons was racist towards Chinese folks. and that's that. I don't think we should change the episodes/stories or anything. edit them in any way. that would be, in a sense, changing history. and we wouldn't learn anything from it, about how we can do better.

I think there are two solutions to this:

1. warnings before starting the text: this was done with The Talons of Weng-Chiang. on Britbox, where you can watch Classic Who, this serial has a content warning before the start. that's good.

2. the removal as a whole of the text from some places: I think before applying this one, there should be a lot of thought put into each case. I don't think removing a whole serial of Doctor Who or Lovecraft's stories from anything would be, well, fair. especially on tv episodes a lot more people worked on those, not just the writers and the directors. Lovecraft's writing influenced thousands. we shouldn't erase them or anything. but sometimes, for some cases, we should.

those in the US might seen a Confederate statue being taken down. that is, in a way, a form of removal of a piece of history.

but that is a good removal. statues glorify. one sees a statue and probably thinks "this was a person worthy of admiration." they should be taken down, maybe even with a permanent mark of why this was done (a plaque that reads "a statue of X was here, but he didn't deserve it because of Y" could be put in place of the statues, for example).

another example is the removal from DVDs of the short episode A Fix with Sontarans, a Sixth Doctor minisode that featured Jimmy Savile, a presenter who was later found out to be sexually abusing children.

the removal of that minisode is good, actually. it's not a full episode (it's not even Doctor Who). some might say that's "erasing history" but, like, you can still find it online or information about it if you want. this minisode deserves removal from DVDs and Blu-Rays and whatever more than content warnings. it's not an important part of the show and it prominently features a horrible person who did horrible things during that time.

so, after all that, I have explained why I don't like the "it's a product of its time" argument. it is an interesting point that deserves to be examined, but it's not very good.

I have had this in Drafts for so long I've probably forgot some of the points I was going to make, but eh, what can you do? hope you enjoyed reading this.

bye

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.14

God’s Will and Fate’s Jokes

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)   x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 2900

Summary: Steve is not the only man out of time to be found in New York, Manhattan. And he sure as hell isn’t the only one struggling with what he’s done and lost.

Warnings: mentions of violence, guns and death, swearing, a bit of a talk about religion

A/N: Ah, you want to know how the reunion will turn out? Understandable… So I’m gonna insert a Bucky chapter, with fragments of how he had been. I promise two little cameos from a Netflix TV series in exchange though, so hopefully I can be forgiven.

Story masterlist

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The wind was gradually getting chillier with New York City further diving into autumn. Bucky readjusted his leather jacket to shield himself from it, but it was just a force of a habit. He had been frozen – several times, as he remembered now – and cold didn’t bother him for a while now. This was barely ‘cold’. His boots shuffled on the pavement with each step, a noise that seemed to drown in the busy streets.

The evening was slowly drifting into a night time, but in Manhattan, the streets never really fell into silence, always pulsing with life, sometimes calmer, mostly rapid though.

Bucky shoved his gloved hands into the pockets of his jeans and sighed, stopping in front of the rather tall building – then again, this was New York, tall meant something different here – , his destination.

His mind was preoccupied, for the millionth time lost in the past; for a change, not in his own.

The fact he had been unfrozen during the decades gave him an advantage of being able to keep up with modern times; and there was nothing that couldn’t be found on the Internet, especially when one knew where and how to look, maybe even peak where others couldn’t for the lack of access or ability.

Then again, Captain America’s life story wasn’t exactly a heavily guarded secret and Bucky couldn’t decide whether he couldn’t believe his eyes while reading, or whether he actually wasn’t surprised at all when learning what his former best friend had been up to after he (and the rest of the world, for that matter) thought Bucky was gone.

He had dived a plane which was about to level New York and other great cities of America to the ground. Everyone thought he died, but instead, he was trapped in ice; Bucky prayed Steve had been unconscious the whole time, not feeling the biting cold. Then, the proclaimed war hero was found and been woken up seventy years to the future, throwing himself into a fight as soon as it was needed.

And wasn’t it damn necessary – aliens attacked the Earth. Bucky now remembered seeing a lot of weird inexplicable shit. But still, this? What the hell.

The thing was, despite that, Steve’s life wasn’t all bad. He became a part of a band of superheroes and… the punk finally found his soulmate, the one he could never find before, because she hadn’t been born yet, which was insane enough on its own. However, he seemed happy.

Naturally, it had to nosedive after that; the woman of his heart and soul was dead.

Some nuthead – and to Bucky’s rage, a nuthead Bucky knew, he had been part of Hydra, which he now hoped didn’t exist anymore, because he read about Pierce being locked up along with others – had murdered her in the worst possible way right in front of Steve.

If Bucky ever considered becoming a murder machine again, after everything he knew he had done, it was upon that revelation. He wanted that man’s head. He wanted to tear him limb from limb. He was a villain, sure, that need was natural, but he had hurt Steve on top of that. No one hurt Steve and got away with it.

Apparently, the man didn’t, because he was blown up along with everyone in the building minus Steve.

Still. If Bucky ever questioned whether he still had a heart, he was sure upon that realization; he did have one and it bled for his best friend.

He wished he could be there for him, but he wasn’t ready. He didn’t know if he could even show up after everything his hands had done, no matter who forced them. He didn’t know if he could mug up Steve’s life even worse.

It was weeks now since he had been freed and his feet led him to a church – the one church where people said goodbye to Steve’s soulmate. Bucky had read about it too, her funeral; a small service for her friends and family, but many others wished to express their condolences, say thank you to the poor soul who lost her life to theirs and their loved ones and they chose this church to do so.

Bucky had figured he could pay his respects as well.

What he didn’t count on was the roller-coaster of emotions hitting him when seeing her picture, her smile radiant and brighter than the candles illuminating her photograph.

She was pretty, there was no denial. The photo printed was from Avengers’ archives, he read as much – Bucky had no doubt that it was Steve who put that bright smile, lighting up her eyes, on her face. He believed Steve had found true happiness with her and it wasn’t just because she was his soulmate or because Bucky watched the video evidence as she faced her death and showed great bravery and kindness or because he saw Steve’s desperation in the very same footage.

Bucky simply knew; the woman seemed to truly love Steve and that was all Steve ever needed. A woman to love him unconditionally.

Life was cruel and fucked-up to take that away from him.

No, Bucky didn’t count on the rage and heartbreak chasing tears into his eyes. Neither did he expect someone to pull him out of his musing.

“Did you know her, son?” an amiable male voice caused him to wince and mentally yell at himself for a dumb lack of awareness of his surroundings. Had it been a Hydra agent, Bucky would have been dead.

He forced himself to calm his sprinting heart, the rush of adrenaline unnecessary when the only person disturbing him was an old priest with nearly bald head and a soft soothing tone of voice.

His breath shuddered.

“No, Father. I didn’t.” I knew her soulmate, Bucky could have added, but he couldn’t afford to draw attention to himself; everyone knew who her soulmate was and it would lead to uncomfortable questions. Instead, Bucky’s mind supplied him with an easy lie. “But she had her life ahead of her, all of it. She must have been happy with her soulmate if he made her smile like this.”

The shorter man nodded, removing a candle that burned out from the altar with her picture – Bucky hadn’t noticed before with many others still warming up the space with their tiny flickering flames.

“Indeed. And she surely made him equally happy,” the priest hummed, sorrow darkening his face. His eyes carried a hint of curiosity, watching Bucky inconspicuously. ”It’s a shame for such joy to be stolen by madmen. Her soulmate… I pray for him as much as I do for her soul. Broken heart heals much longer than broken bones.”

No shit. Especially when it comes to supersoldiers with enhanced healing.

“Not wrong there,” Bucky whispered, hesitantly reaching out to the small metal basket with candles and a thin piece of wood to borrow the flame from another.

Bucky didn’t believe in God for almost seventy years now. Still, when the wick caught fire, he sent a silent prayer for both Steve and his gal.

“Still, you seem troubled by more than that,” the priest whispered and made a kind offer. “You could confide me in. It is what I am here for. Perhaps it would ease your sorrow.”

I don’t think so. Neither will it ease the craving after tearing a dead man’s head off.

“I don’t think you could help, Father, no offence. I’ve never been a good Catholic and lately even less so. And you sure don’t want to hear what troubles me.”

Despite a gentle nod of understanding, he nudged Bucky once more. At the very same moment, the soldier could hear the heavy door of the church open a crack and a man walk in with a periodic taping of a thin stick.

“I only wish to help you. If something of what you possibly have done heavies you… I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone. I’m not allowed.”

“I believe you, Father. But I’m not sure your own conscience would allow you to keep quiet in my case,” Bucky admitted honestly, shifting under the presence of another man despite the fact he wouldn’t be able to hear them. A periodic tapping the man carried with him was getting to Bucky’s nerve already.

He should leave. Another lost soul seeking the help of a church was a good excuse anyway.

“Trust me, son. Whatever your sins are, I’m certain I have heard worse.”

“No, Father. You haven’t,” Bucky muttered under his breath, aware of the stranger getting closer.

He turned to him, surprised to find a man of such built, carrying a walking stick for blind. His stance and body was one of a fighter, even when cladded in a cheap suit, red-tinted glasses preventing his real thoughts from displaying on his face. He appeared blind but not quite. To Bucky, he was giving an impression of pretence, at least partial.

He could only wonder why; however, he could do so on his way out.

“I’m pretty sure he did,” the newcomer joined their barely audible conversation without permission and a scowl twisted the Father’s face.

The fact that the not-so-blind? man could hear what Bucky was saying had everything in Bucky scream fight or flight.

“Matthew. What brings you here at this hour?”

The suited man shrugged light-heartedly; Bucky didn’t believe him for a second. “I thought I’d stop by. See how you’re doing.”

“Always with the jokes, Matthew. It’s not decent.”

It wasn’t. Except if Bucky was more comfortable at the moment, he would have snorted in amusement. This man was clearly comfortable in his own skin, but the skin was a charade too. Bucky didn’t want to stay to crack the mystery though.

“Forgive me, Father, then.”

“Did you come to confess?” the Father continued and Bucky recognized this was as good opportunity to leave as any, making space for the blind man to approach the priest more easily.

A brief smile passed over the Matthew’s lips. “No. Like I said, only wanted to make sure you were alright.”

The backing out of the soldier was less inconspicuous this time, caught by the priest.

“You don’t need to leave, son. Matthew is a dear friend.” And there’s more to him than it seems, Bucky was certain.

Were his the sins Father had mentioned? This man’s? Bucky wouldn’t be surprised considering the dangerous vibe he was radiating.

“I’m Matt,” the man offered swiftly and held out his hand for Bucky to shake.

Bucky was stupid enough to accept it and really, wasn’t he out of his game to make such an idiotic mistake. “…James.”

“Rather hot for gloves, isn’t it?”

Bucky fought the urge to punch this man for pointing it out and took a deep breath.

“My past injuries can… make people uncomfortable when seen.”

“I won’t see them,” the blind man challenged with the light tone to his voice again, his head tilting to side and Bucky could see the corners of his mouth twitch. It gave him the impression of the man wanting sent him a wolfish grin.

And that was the time to get the fuck out. What was Bucky thinking anyway, showing up in here?

“Matthew… perhaps it would be for the best if we leave James to his prayers and have a talk over a latté, if you’re interested at this hour?” the priest offered in a conciliatory manner, beckoning to the back for Bucky’s benefit – or for Matthew’s too?

How deeply ran the lie, the pretending? Bucky didn’t want to hang around to find out.

“Yes…” Matt hesitated, but nodded. “Perhaps. James.”

“Matt. Father.”

Bucky strode between the two lines of the pews, kind words reaching his sensitive ears.

“My invitation still stands, if you ever feel like talking. If you’re not comfortable confessing the traditional way… there’s always coffee. Same rules apply for me.”

Bucky nodded, definitely not planning on taking him upon the offer. “I appreciate the offer, Father. Goodnight.”

Since fate was a cranky bitch, a night full of horrors of the past had him wandering the streets before the sun even began to rise to the horizon.

The Father didn’t seem overly surprised that Bucky showed up again, at such ungodly hour no less.

“James. Latté?” he asked, unfazed almost.

Bucky wanted to question his decision. But he was an old man, older than the priest himself and he could believe his secret would be kept.

He nodded.

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Opening to someone about the horrors he had lived through and had been a source of was surreal. No, scratch that, it was fucking weird and telling that to a priest was twisted and seriously messed up.

Yet, once Bucky started, he couldn’t stop the verbal vomit, his hands in his hair, tears welling up in his eyes and the hoarseness of his voice that seemed to be impossible to disguise.

And the whole time he talked, the man sitting opposite to him – not touching his latté either – listened intently with compassionate and understanding eyes full of sorrow and offering kind words and his own insights of a person watching the event from a reasonable distance, far enough not to get tangled in the emotional turmoil.

It caused Bucky’s breathing to turn so difficult that he thought he might actually suffocate, but he didn’t. He might be close to choking on his own spit though at priest’s forgiving words several times, words of redemption, a chance on it only proven by a mysterious man building miracles by a flick of a hand.

“You were a victim, James. Just like anybody else,” the Father explained his point of view slowly and with patience battling the one of saints themselves. “These are not your errors to carry with you like a burden. Forgive yourself. And allow your friend the same thing. I’m sure he could benefit from having someone by his side in a time difficult like this.”

Bucky gulped, looking away as he felt awkward burn in his eyes again, a lump in his throat never disappearing.

“I can’t. At least not yet, I’m-“

The sudden change of atmosphere was palpable, the safe environment carefully created by the priest vanishing at instant as Bucky’s instinct screamed about someone else’s presence in the church – someone else’s besides the God’s servants. His senses tingled, hairs rising at the back of his neck.

“Someone’s coming.”

Father Lantom seemed once again rather unfazed, his gaze shifting to his watch.

“Well, it is after six a.m., James.”

“Father-“ the soldier warned him breathlessly, otherwise rising to his feet soundlessly, sneaking to the door, opening them for a crack to glance at the newcomer that made his heart beat out of his chest.

One peek and he swiftly pressed his back to the wall, his head hitting it with a soft thud, eyes falling shut. Even with eyes closed, he could still feel the priest’s worried gaze.

“James?”

Bucky took a deep breath, arguing with his frantic mind and heart to calm the fuck down.

It was alright. He just needed to get the Father to cause diversion and he would sneak out, making no sound. He excelled at disappearing.    

“Go greet him, Father. Don’t tell him a word about having me here. Please.”

The desperate plea was enough to light up a flare of recognition in the priest’s eyes, no matter how hard it made him frown.

He sighed, sounding resigned.

“I cannot do that choice for you, James, even if I wished. I promise to keep quiet.”

Bucky clenched his jaw, squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, beckoning to the other man to move.

The soldier stayed aligned with the wall, waiting for the right moment. It was killing him, freaking him out and yet luring him in, a mess of emotions, memories and possible scenarios of reunion playing out in his head, ranging from a fistfight to a hug even.

He needed to snap out of it.

He wasn’t ready. Not yet.

“Steven. What a nice surprise,” the priest greeted softly and Bucky barely contained the whine drawn to his lips. His hands curled up into fists and he bounced off of the wall, quickly assessing the most secure escape route. ”Do you require my assistance?”

“Not today, Father Lantom, but thank you.”

It was like a slap to Bucky’s face, a punch to his gut, hearing Steve’s voice; the melancholy in it and the burden he was never supposed to carry only making it worse.

For a second, Bucky wavered, faltering in his steps. His friend – former friend, still, his best friend – was right behind that door, needing someone and hurting and what was Bucky doing? Running away, like a coward?

“Are you alright?” the punk continued, expression concern for the not-exactly-older man and that was it. He caught a scent of something fishy right away.

Bucky’s mind yelled at him to get the hell out. His gaze returned to the door leading to a chamber and bathroom, hoping to find a small window. He crossed the distance in long quick steps.

“Yes, Steven, thank you. I simply have another troubled soul in the back room...”

Bucky slipped through the other door, finding what he wished for – an escape route. As he opened the window, taking care not to make the tiniest sound, Steve’s voice was slowly fading away.

“Don’t let me disturb you then, Father.”

By the time Father Lantom returned to the chamber, James Buchannan Barnes was gone. The priest only sighed in resignation; he more than half-expected it would come to that. He only hoped that the troubled soldier would find his way back eventually.

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Part 15

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

So… am I? Forgiven? Please? I prooooomise the Steve/reader reunion will take place in the next chapter and it might actually be worth the wait ;)

Thank you for reading!

[tfw-no-tennis]

animorphssss.....2!

ok one L abt reading the series on my ereader is that the flipbook illustrations arent there ;_; those were my favvvvv

anyways I love animorphs still

I feel like I'll end up repeating myself a lot during these little liveblogs lmao but mannnn it’s so good. its so hardcore. like I know that that’s the whole Thing but I still get shocked by some of the stuff that happens 

like a big theme in the series centers around the morality of killing your enemies - and it’s so all over the place bc in book 6 you have jake boiling a bunch of yeerks alive, which is kinda gnarly if you think abt it, but the alternative would be to leave them there and let them infest people soo...? and that’s basically the point, that there are never any easy choices in war 

also I went on the animorphs wiki to look at trivia bc I love doing that and I cant BELIEVE (some of) the books were reissued in 2011 and they changed/removed some of the references to be more ‘modern’ omfg....talk about erasing 90s culture smh 

likeeee I was born in 97 so I didn't exactly grow up in the 90s and therefore some of the references go over my head but its so charming and fun to have them there! and it makes sense given that the books are SET in the 90s

I don't remember ever being confused by any of the references as a kid (tho for sure a lot of them went over my head), but then again I read the books in like 2008 sooo

also some of the stuff that they change - like changing ‘recorded w/a vcr’ to ‘recorded w/the TV’ or ‘floppy disc’ to ‘flash drive’ may make more sense to modern audiences, but doesn't make sense in the context of the story still being set in the 90s

tho it is funny that the books use the phrase ‘hook up’ to mean ‘meet up’ a lot bc that is a phrase that definitely has a different meaning nowadays

alsooooo as it turns out I'm p sure I only read a couple of the spinoffs - the hork-bajir chronicles and the ellimist chronicles (which was confusing lmao), bc my library didn’t have the others :( 2007/2008 woes....

but now I get to read the spinoffs woooooooo so I read the first megamorphs and the andalite chronicles 

I'm reading them in the chronological order (I think?) which is good bc part of the problem was that I read the ellimist book at a completely weird time and it confused me more lmao

megamorphs 1 basically felt like a regular animorphs book except longer, but the plot didn't feel like it needed all that extra page space tbh? even so it was an entertaining adventure

and rachel having amnesia was great, amnesia is one of my fav tropes lmao. and it was a lot of fun here, though a bit underutilized 

another favorite trope of mine is time travel, so I'm gonna have a really fun time here w/that

as for the andalite chronicles, I really enjoyed that one. I thought it was a well done story about the horrors of war (which is a theme animorphs does excellently), kind of similar to the overarching story of the whole series, but fit into one book without feeling rushed

the way the story starts out with elfangor wanting to be a hero, not understanding what that entails, to the end where he IS going to be a hero, and he knows now that this is a burden rather than a reward 

the horror elements are also really strong, with the taxxon morph being horrifying of course

and mannnn I loved that we got to see more of the taxxons as a species, and see that not all taxxons submitted to the yeerks - which breaks the previous theme of ‘all the taxxons are evil just because’ 

this book also establishes that the taxxons gave themselves over to the yeerks due to their constant hunger being unbearable, so it isn’t just that they’re evil for fun 

animorphs does such an excellent job showing that each ‘side’ of a war will have good and bad (or at least sympathetic and unsympathetic) people 

also loren was awesome, what a cool character. though I didn't realize she was literally like 13 until the very end of the book, holy shit. that's crazy. i thought she was 16 at the youngest....geez. her throwing a rock at visser 3 is even more iconic knowing she's a middle schooler at the time

and chapman was here! I'm assuming this must be the same chapman as the assistant principal controller... I thought it was a little strange to put chapman in that role, bc in this book he was a huge asshole basically the entire time, but in the previous (’future’) book it was revealed that he became a controller willingly only to spare his daughter, which is pretty far from this book where he’s actively trying to sell humanity out to the yeerks...people change I guess? (also he got his memory erased so I guess there's that)

alloran was a really interesting character. horrors of war again - we hear from his old buddy that he used to be a fun, witty guy, but war changed him into somebody who would do horrible things 

and him becoming a controller was horrifying, obviously, but I like that alloran wasn't portrayed as some perfect, holy guy in order to make it all the more tragic when he got infested. its already fucked up enough as it is, and making him flawed was a lot more meaningful 

and him wanting to flush all the yeerks out into space....oooooof the (later) parallels hurt 

plus the fact that elfangor refusing to commit genocide against the helpless yeerks (even though they’re the enemy) directly contributing to alloran becoming a controller.....oof. I love that it shows that even making the morally correct decisions during war can lead to awful things happening, but not in a way that endorses evil actions - the story isn’t saying that elfangor should have killed the yeerks, it’s saying that there are no good choices in war 

arbron being trapped as a taxxon was fucked up. but also really intriguing, especially how he found purpose and led a free taxxon uprising. I don't remember if we hear from him/the free taxxons again but I hope so

also the plot twist of tobias being elfangors SON...bruh. I do remember that despite not having read this book so it must come up in the main story later but my memory of that is vauge so I’m excited to see how that plays out. it’s always gonna be hilarious to me that ax is technically tobias’s uncle 

and then the ellimist drops in and wacks up the time stream even more. classic. I love the crazy time travel stuff in animorphs

omfg and the bits where elfangor is a human tech guy and talked about his friends bill and steve LMAOOOOO

also the scene where elfangor drives the yellow mustang while blasting '(I cant get no) satisfaction’ by the rolling stones was one of the most iconic things I've ever read

basically I loved all the angles of war fucking people up. from loren’s dad, to alloran, to elfangor himself learning about the true horrors of war...v well done imo

ok back to the main series - so my pick for the most fucked up scene SO FAR (in my own personal opinion) - the scene where they're in the jungle and rachel passes out in bear morph and a bunch of rainforest ants start EATING HER ALIVE and like crawling into her ears and mouth and HGGGGGG that was genuinely so fucking disturbing

its a good thing that the time travel made it so rachel couldn't remember that bc that was fuuuuucked

another contender is a scene we don't actually see - erek having his capacity for violence instated and then slaughtering a ton of human and hork-bajir controllers 

like damn, you know its fucked up when its too fucked up for ANIMORPHS to even ‘show.’ this is a series that doesn't pull punches but evidentially that would've been Too Much to actually portray (understandably). also i feel like seeing the aftermath/everyone’s reactions had more of an impact than describing erek killing a bunch of people would have

also I forgot that marco Literally Fucking Dies during that scene and that's why he doesn't get to see the slaughter. wow

and then in the very next book JAKE dies too. jesus

oh it was also so sad and fucked up when marco’s dad told him that he and his wife used to fight sometimes, but then all of a sudden they stopped fighting, and their relationship was basically entirely peaceful and perfect - and this is how marco knows exactly when his mom was made into a controller, bc of course a yeerk wouldn't care enough to get into petty arguments like that....ooooof

Okay and book 15 really got me...that was fucking heavy man. Geeeez. Everything w/Marco and his mom is so fucked uppppp

Like he literally has to deal with so much awful traumatizing shit. The scene where he pretends to be a controller and is face to face w/visser one and THAT HIS MOM but he can’t even do anything, and he just sees the evil in her eyes and thinks about how there’s no way she had been controlled by a yeerk that long before bc he’s never seen her look like that...that was so fucking sad.

Plus Marcos mom now thinking that Marco is a controller...aughh...and then later Marco knows he can’t even think-speak to her bc he’ll just talk about everything he’s wanted to talk about to his mom this whole time... ;_;

And the parts where Marcos humor slips and the utter rage he feels towards the situation comes through...man

Plus everything about him being understandably afraid of sharks after being nearly torn in half by one back during their first dolphin adventure

Augh oh and jake telling Marco that everyone can tell something is up bc Marco isn’t joking around and talking about how insane their plan is like usual, so Marco fakes it sand does all that even tho he’s terrified and conflicted...aughhhh

Ok and the last scene where Marco is thinking about a future where he and his parents can talk plainly about how awful and traumatizing everything is, and then eventually they’ll feel okay enough to joke about it, bc Marcos mom is the one who taught him to look at the funny side of life...Oh The Pain

There were a lot of great fucked up individual lines in this book too. I’m just so sad about these poor middle schoolers jfc

Also I do distinctly remember the scene where they collapse the shark tank at Ocean World or w/e, it was weird af reading it bc I remembered none of the rest of the book but got weird deja vu reading that scene and remembering having read it like 13+ years ago

if it’s not clear by now I have a pretty terrible memory for media which is honestly good bc then I can reread things and it’s like new

Also jake...man...I said it previously but I was kinda eh about jake when I first read these bc he’s kinda the ‘basic’ character, but now I find his story much more interesting

His conflict over being leader is really good. KAA does a fantastic job capturing the pressure he’s under bc he was chosen by his friends to be the leader, so he REALLY can’t back out, and he doesn’t necessarily feel up to it, but feels he has no choice in the matter...

And constantly having to make really difficult decisions that could get his friends killed...geez. It’s so much pressure. And he talks about wanting to go back to being a normal kid when this is all over, and it kinda strikes me as him being in denial - like, there’s no way things can ever be ‘normal’ again, but that’s his way of coping.

Especially with Tom and all that. That conflict is so compelling...jake having to play all these different roles - as leader, as a son/student, as a regular brother to Tom - he’s constantly having to act a certain way and rarely gets to be Himself

It’s actually kinda relatable in a way - that feeling of being In Charge, but in a somewhat abstract and informal way, so you feel like regular old you, but you have to carefully regulate how you act bc the people around you expect a certain standard of behavior from you...

And all the morally grey situations they’re put in are fucked up, but especially for jake who has the final say on what they do, even when knowing it could lead to his friends being killed or made into controllers

Like in the book with the cannibal yeerk guy - there’s basically no good choices there. Jake lets the cannibal live, and (at first) implies that it’s for the best that he’s cannibalizing other yeerks and therefore helping get rid of some yeerks - except that he kills their hosts too

but the alternative would be to directly kill another human being who isn't actively fighting/resisting you, which is a fucked up thing for a middle schooler to have to do 

And the conflict between jake and Cassie is really excellent bc jake has to make these awful decisions, and Cassie is the type of person who can’t stand that sort of thing, so it gets left up to jake a lot, but then she’s upset with jake for doing something awful, even while knowing that there were no better options

like, her asking jake to kill the cannibal guy for her was really fucked up, but also entirely understandable for cassie as a character to ask. it was an emotionally charged situation, and cassie is an emotional person. she’s also somebody who like to Act, to do concrete good, and getting rid of an Evil Bad Guy in front of her would be a definite action

But Cassie is a great source of morality to the group - most of them are pretty jaded, but Cassie is able to hope in a way none of the rest are. It creates a really compelling dynamic between jake and Cassie that I kinda dismissed when I was like 10 or w/e

Also the scene where jake as a fly gets crushed and starts dying? Seriously fucked. And then after when he’s nearly breaking down in the airport and Cassie comforts him...that was a really good scene. Cassie is so good  

And the continuity is so excellent - I love how in book 17, Cassie (and jake to an extent) doesn’t really weigh in on the moral debate abt the oatmeal bc she’s still shaken up by asking jake to murder a guy for her, and then (presumably) going ahead and lighting his house on fire when jake doesn’t kill him

And augh jake and Marco have such a good and interesting dynamic - the entire group kinda pushes each other into their respective ‘roles’ in the group, but for a few books that’s really true for jake and marco

I don't remember what book it was but at some point marco (I think) mentions that jake understands what marco is dealing with w/his mom being a controller bc of tom, but that they don’t talk about it bc they ‘don't talk about stuff like that’ or something and I'm just like noooo talk to each other :( 

but at this point jake feels like he can’t really express doubt and fear and stuff like that bc he’s the Leader and they look to him to be strong (which is ironically very similar to how rachel feels), and marco feels like he can’t be serious bc he’s the funny guy. 

Basically I love all the different dynamics in the group. How Cassie and Rachel are such opposites but are best friends and get along well, while Marco and Cassie are more directly opposed - as jake says, Marco is ruthless, and Cassie definitely isn’t. Rachel and Marco are also pretty different which is interesting, bc they have a lot in common, and actually agree on a lot (even if they disagree out loud) but their commonalities combined with their circumstances make them react very differently to the same situations

I also love seeing the differences between characters from each other’s POV - like, p much all the characters think that Rachel is completely fearless, but when the book is from her POV, we get to see that that isn’t true at all - she feels plenty of fear, but she recognizes that her role in the group is to be the fearless one, so she pushes aside her fear to fit into that role (which inadvertently pushes her more and more into that ‘fearless warrior’ box - something that happens to all the characters more and more as the story goes on, like jake as ‘the leader’ and Marco as ‘the jokester’).

Also I loooove the grey morality of literally everything. Like the book where ax discovers an andalite traitor - not a controller, just an andalite who betrayed them to the yeerks. This leads to the deaths of like a hundred other andalites, and that whole scene you really just feel for ax, bc he feels so awful about everyone else dying while he escapes, yet he’s also so grateful to be alive, which he in turn feels bad about...

And ax’s conflict about being torn between his home w/his fellow andalites and his new home on earth w/his friends is great

And oh man I fucking love book 19. Any of the books where it goes more into the yeerks and their side of things are so good, just like the book where jake was made into a controller.

And book 19, where we meet a sympathetic yeerk, comes right after 18, where we meet an andalite traitor - again, I love how we clearly see that no one side is completely good or completely bad

So yeah book 19 fucking slapped. That shit was so compelling. I love how Cassie made a bunch of foolish decisions based on naïve hope, but it worked out!! Things aren’t always bleak and awful!

Except there were plenty bleak and awful parts of this book. It had a great balance of moods tbh, even though a lot of the situations were extremely contrived lmao. I love the stuff that aftran says, which is basically what I was thinking when I started my reread - being a yeerk fucking sucks, you’re literally a blind slug but also completely and fully sentient, on the same level as humans and andalites - and as afran pointed out this book, the yeerks are born as parasites, just as humans are born as predators - why is it okay for the humans to kill countless animals to eat, but not for the yeerks to enslave races to act as hosts? Well, the situation isn’t totally comparable, which Cassie and Marco both point out when aftran makes that comparison - the yeerks are enslaving sentient species, and cows and chickens are not the same as the humans and hork-bajir (though the story understandably doesn’t fall too deeply into the ‘who deserves what right/animal sentience’ rabbit hole).

And I like that aftran points out that the yeerks basically have 2 options currently - stay helpless and blind in a yeerk pool, or enslave a host. It’s interesting to hear that a lot of yeerks don’t like doing this but see it as the only options, as opposed to complete sensory deprivation. It makes me wonder if there are yeerks who are so staunchly against it that they elect to stay as pool-bound slugs forever

Also maybe it’s the shounen anime fan in me but I don’t even care that much that Cassie’s entire plan was completely off the rails and hinged on only the slightest chance of success - with failure being much more likely and completely catastrophic, with the animorphs and their loved ones all being wiped out, vs success being unlikely and also achieving...a moral victory? Peace between two enemy combatants in a huge war? nothing all that concrete...anyways it was a bunch of good-faith horrible decisions on Cassie’s part, but I don’t even care? I love stories where hope and love save the day against all odds, especially when they’re wielded like weapons by a character and make everything end nicely

This is especially true here bc animorphs is generally a series that leans very far away from that type of thing, so when it does happen, it feels like a victory. Plus the David trilogy is next so we kinda need a happy ending while we can

also bc I compared animorphs to hxh last time, I now have to compare it to the other series I've (partially) liveblogged, transformers mtmte.

this is gonna be more abstract and brief but basically. mtmte is all about after the war, and everyone has so much trauma and everything just sucks, so they all go on a space cruise and work on themselves. basically.

but the series does a lot of exploration of how war fucks people up - same as animorphs, tho animorphs spans the beginning of the war (for the main characters at least) until the end, whereas mtmte starts when the war ends.

but the point is. both series do an excellent job showcasing the wide range of reactions people have to being put in unthinkable situations during wartime. all the major characters in mtmte go through arcs where they heal/change from the war, some more subtle than others

basically the animorphs needs to go on a wacky space cruise adventure with a bunch of other fucked up people and figure their shit out, mtmte style

ok this is wicked long already so I’m gonna end it here. also I feel like I should start the next liveblog w/the david triology bc I’m for sure gonna have a lot to say abt that

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: True Might

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  Powers don't make the hero - passion does. Luckily for Izuku and Toshinori, this is something the quirkless have in droves.

AKA: All Might is a quirkless vigilante, One for All isn't a quirk that exists and 1A gets a whole 3-week buffer before villain's start kicking their face in as opposed to the 3 days of canon.

Basically: Quirkless!Vigilante!All Might and Quirkless!Successor!(gen ed) UA Student!Midoriya. It’s a riot.

Yagi is stupid strong, his only form in this AU is basically Muscle Form from canon, but he’s a little less ridiculously cut. Not quite chubby, but huggable. This is mostly because he A, isn’t a celebrity that needs to have a marketable image and B, he really likes carbs.

He’s not exactly a vigilante by choice, in his day and age quirkless kids weren’t permitted to apply to UA, either gen ed or heroics. When Nezu got the job, that all changed, but it was a solid decade too late for Yagi.

He’s admittedly a little bitter about it, but he refuses to do anything but his best. He might be a little snippier with Pros than he really needs to be but oh well.

Katsuki and Izuku are utterly enamoured with this crazy vigilante that just doesn’t lose, refuses to back down from a fight even when he’s outmatched, and somehow coming out victorious anyway, rescuing everyone. They have a tense relationship, but often find time to get together and just ramble about how cool All Might is, share theories and dissect his fights. It’s not uncommon for Katsuki to have been hurling abuse at Izuku during class, only to show up at his house after school with a backpack full of snacks and a notebook full of questions.

Izuku knows most of what Katsuki does is to keep his status in the school. If he showed pity to a dumb quirkless runt he’d be painted with the same brush. This doesn’t make what Katsuki has done right! Only Izuku doesn’t blame him because he’s way too forgiving.

Izuku is the smartest person Katsuki knows and vice versa – they are each other’s measuring stick. Katsuki shows Izuku bravery, Izuku shows Katsuki determination.

Episode 1 goes as it does but you see a real flash of regret when Katsuki tells Izuku to jump off a roof because they are kinda-sorta friends. Izuku looks so betrayed. We meet the slime villain like before, All Might saves Izuku and 100% doesn’t expect the kid to fanboy about him and ask for two autographs – one made out to a “Kacchan”.

“Can someone quirkless be a hero?” “The whole world will be against you. Most places won't even give you a shot – no matter how good you are. You’re better off picking something else.”

Izuku is crushed but he does understand. All Might leaves and Izuku trails off kinda hopelessly. He follows the sounds of explosions without meaning to.

It’s Katsuki! He’s dying! Like usual at this point lmao. Izuku rushes in much like canon, All Might shows up, pulls Katsuki free and slams a dumpster on the slime villains head before making a speedy getaway. The police rip into Izuku but Katsuki actually defends him. “You were doing fuck all while I fucking died – don’t knock the only asshole who tried.” Izuku quietly slips him the autograph before running off the scene. Katsuki cries because Izuku got that for him even after he was such a fucking bastard that day? He can’t bring himself to be a dick to Izuku again, even only for show.

All Might finds Izuku and he's like “Sorry I was an ass I was being a dick because I had low self-esteem – I’m quirkless. If you’ll have me I’ll make you into the best hero the world had ever seen

Izuku, obviously, says yes please!

Also, hypermobile Izuku with joint braces as support gear because just let me project please my arms are killing me ( I wrote this a while ago and yes. My arms are still killing me - yes even now). He gets them after All Might sees him miss a dodge because his ankles rolled beneath him. They support his joints beyond the normal range of strength, letting him do some crazy pivots and handsprings, making it easy to support all his weight on a single-arm with very little strain. They can also lock in place, lessening muscle fatigue if he needs to hold onto something for ages and preventing injury if he’s pushing against something. Produced by David and Melissa Shield and imported through Nighteye Heroics.

Is support gear illegal for civilians to own? Yes! But medical equipment isn’t so if you can just convince people its medical not support you can get away with a lot.

Yagi has no weapons himself, other than the random shit he picks up and swings at people, and has little support gear other than a communicator, panic button, and a whole lot of zip-ties.

Izuku should probably have weapons but I’m struggling to think of anything other than war fans because how cool would that look? Because Shonen they would also have the ability to create powerful downdrafts that would give a boost to a jump or dodge.

Probably doesn’t get them until later and needs to train with them.

In this AU, One for All isn’t a quirk. Rather, it’s a role, passed from quirkless person to quirkless person, the only people who can’t be hard countered by All for One. They tend to be vigilantes, crime lords or hero managers, doing their part to foil as much of All for One’s plans as they can, through whatever means necessary.

It’s a role with a pretty high fatality rate.

No one knows All Might is quirkless other than those close to him, they instead think he has a strength quirk. He’s the most prolific vigilante in Japan and is almost as much of a household name as canon All Might. More divisive though, with most people decrying his vigilante status when he could ‘easily make a respectable hero’. He’s also pretty brutal with his takedowns of some villains, leading a lot of people to call him an unregulated brute. Still more call him a villain which, legally he would be - were he using a quirk.

Nighteye is his contact in the heroics industry, gives him loads of inside info that’s typically not something he should be passing on. He’s still close with David Shield. Nighteye imports any costume parts he needs from David and leaves them at various pickup points for Yagi.

He went to college with David in America after Nana died; America having a quirk blind admission process helped - but he’d have gotten shit talked a lot if people didn’t just assume he had a strength quirk. Dude was and is crazy big.

David was one of the only people that knew he was quirkless

OH FOR FUN; Nighteye was also going to this American college and that’s where he met All Might. The three of them became the world’s strangest group of friends and may have lowkey done some slightly illegal vigilante work around the campus and surrounding town. They had a reputation for getting no sleep ever and being the most mismatched set of people

Secretly Smart Jock, Business Man with a Touch of E-boy, Science Hipster. They all tumbled into class together with varying levels of alive-ness. Nighteye and David were very much not morning people.

UA! It’s a ride. Izuku fails the practical but he’s not shocked – he was prepared for this.

He actually got like 30 hero points? But they refused to admit him on hero points alone due to his ‘deficiencies’. They don’t exactly tell Izuku this but Aizawa was there and he was furious.

Gets into 1C with Shinsou, Shinsou fuckin hates him on sight for reasons best known to him (It’s bc he was so god damned cheerful he just – assumed Izuku had a quirk. I love Shinsou but he’s more than a little judgemental). Izuku is like smiling through the pain because he just wanted to make a friend his age – Katsuki barely counts.

He sits with him at lunch and makes friends-ish with the hero kids who dragged Katsuki along, meets Ochaco again. She’s upset he didn’t get in – especially after he tells her he apparently got 30 points. The whole table gets mad on his behalf and hes embarrassed and happy.

Like day 2 he’s leaving gym and someone is like “Oh LMAO it’s Deku – he was in the year below me at Aldera. Only fuckin quirkless kid in the whole school; can’t believe he got into UA.” He turns to Izuku. “Who’s dick did you suck to get in you - ?” And Shinsou just decks him. He grabs Izuku – who is super confused fyi – and s p r i n t s. They have to stop after a while because hes having a panic attack and Shinsou doesn’t know what the fuck to do and he’s mad and upset and the sunshine boy is sobbing –

Aizawa shows up, having seen the (end of the) altercation and is ready to expel some gen ed kids he can’t legally expel – until he sees the two kids from the entrance exam he was interested in – including the quirkless kid who should have gotten in. Well he’s much more willing to hear them out.

100% requests expulsion on those 2 2E kids because that’s Discrimination and they should know better as second years. Nezu grants it because those 2 were di ck s

No USJ because no All Might – stuff like that will come,,, later : )

Sports Fest! Izuku and Shinsou kick ass, Aizawa is Watching. All Might may have gotten in as a crowd member with Nighteye and a visiting David and Melissa and they are cheering on their sun son. Also, Nighteye is going to go cheer on Mirio so he just got a pass to attend all 3 days of the sports festival. He’s just buying snacks on the second day because he’s never talked to one of the second years in his life.

Shinsou and Izuku make it to the tournament. Izuku has been training pretty seriously with All Might for a while now and hes a very good fighty boy. Makes it to the 3rd round of the tournament where he loses to Iida. Shinsou makes it second where he loses to Katsuki. Izuku is like “Iida might you be Ingenium’s brother or something?” “Yes, I am!” “OH MY GOD I LOVE INGENIUM ISN’T HE THE COOLEST” “YES MY BROTHER IS AMAZING” Shinsou is just watching while faintly amused.

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2020 Anime Overview: Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Ok, so let’s get this out of the way first, 1. I adore this story so much and 2. Toilet Bound Hanako-kun has a horrible, horrible English title that is not actually at all representative of the story’s content and I have no idea what happened when it came to the team choosing that name. To the average English-speaking viewer/reader, this name 100% implies gross stuff and bathroom humor, and there is none in this show. 

A Japanese reader on the other hand, would be more likely to recognize the name Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun as a spin on the classic ghost story “Hanako-san of the Toilet” only A BOY THIS TIME WHHHHA?” Basically, the story goes that a girl named Hanako in a red skirt haunts girls’ bathrooms in Japanese schools and if you knock on the third stall and call “Hanako-san” three times, she’ll appear. She might grant you a wish or pull you into Hell or something else, it varies.

(Her Wikipedia image, aww.)

Anyway, I dunno why the English title didn’t at least go with “Toilet Ghost Hanako-kun” or something that would have gotten the premise across even a  little better (HE NOT TECHNICALLY BOUND BY THE TOILET EVEN, HE CAN GO ANYWHERE IN THE SCHOOL GROUNDS THE BATHROOM IS JUST HIS HOME BASE), but our boy Hanako haunting the girl’s bathroom only leads to broad jokes about our heroine being tasked with cleaning the bathroom and “dude you really shouldn’t be in here” comments, it’s pretty incidental. 

Now that THAT’S out of the way, let’s talk about my LOVE FOR THIS STORY

Hanako-kun tells the story of a “regular” high school girl named Nene Yashiro, the mischievous and mysterious school ghost she befriends, and all the other weird monsters, exorcists, spirits and curses they encounter. It’s got a gorgeous, colorful bold aesthetic and art style that combines gothic and cute! It has a great mix of humor, intrigue, angst and fantasy action. basically if you love ghosts, monsters, Japanese mythology and legends, supernatural-human relationships, supernaturally fueled angst and drama, stories about trying to fix an unfair system the world has set up, wistful romance, a good shoujo manga with a Lot of Feelings (yes this is a shonen technically I’ll explain that later), weirdo dorks becoming friends AND MUCH MORE...this story will have something that will resonate with you. It’s got a lot going on, and it’s a ton of fun.

Hanako-kun is really one of those surprising stories that fits right into a hole in my story-loving heart I didn’t realize was still there, or that I’d actually been carrying since childhood. I love ghosts, see, and have since I was a kid!!! I knew this, but I kinda forgot how intensely I love them until this show reminded me again??? That’s because regular ghost stories/mysteries/whatever- I like them, but they don’t quite do it for me in the way more character-driven ones exploring the nature of being a ghost and humans and ghosts trying understand each other etc do. Stuff that really gets into the tragedy AND the fun fantasy aspect of ghosts, and plays the long game with it- and Hanako-kun scratches that itch perfectly.

Getting a little bit deeper into the premise of Hanako-kun, Nene is a very brave and sweet but not-all-that-bright girl (or, to put it more bluntly, she’s an idiot in the best way) who has a lot of romantic fantasies and insecurities and is VERY focused on them. After hearing a rumor at school that “Hanako-san of the bathroom” will grant wishes, she wishes to be able to confess to her crush and finds out its actually a weird ghost boy her age named Hanako haunting the bathroom! A lot of things happen, and she ends up cursed and bound to Hanako-kun, but also ends up slowly forming a friendship. 

Turns out Hanako is the ghost in charge of the “seven mysteries/wonders” aka seven powerful supernatural entities that haunt this school (he’s number seven). These apparitions only supposed to terrorize students a LITTLE, because apparitions need to have rumors spread about them to remain in the human world.

(‘HAVE YOU HEARD?’ Oh hey shadow girls from Utena see you’ve moved to a new school.)

The rumors also generally dictate how powerful and dangerous the apparitions actually are- but SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS is changing the rumors around the school and making the apparitions go berserk and actually harm humans. So Hanako needs a human assistant to change the rumors and help him calm and seal the apparitions! That’s where Nene comes in.

Hanako himself is a very fun character- he’s very chaotic and revels in his whole “ gremlin ghost” persona, and is upfront about being a bit of an asshole. BUT he also makes his kindness, often good intentions and the fact he’ll have his friends back when it counts obvious from the beginning. B U T! He’s also got darkness and hidden depths to explore, and a lot of his persona is affected and masks deeper issues! 

Our ghost boy is genuinely A TAD unstable deep down (as in he straight up has several untreated PTSD symptoms and that’s as disastrous as you’d expect) and packing some serious tragic backstory, as you might expect from a kid who died young and carries around a butcher’s knife, and it’s gonna come back to bite him and and all who care about him hard. 

 Especially when an overly enthusiastic exorcist named Kou Minamoto shows up! Kou is another one who’s very dumb and very good, a wannabe-shonen-protag with a heart of gold and strong sensitive, domestic side. He rounds out our main trio. Also he gets a tragic, emotionally intense relationship with yet another ghost boy that sings to my heart.

(Yes Hanako’s helping Nene to do the thing)

You may be able to tell, this story has INTENSE good-shoujo vibes despite technically being a shonen in a way that I love- it’s story very driven by big emotions, a variety of fucked up and tragically complex relationships, teen hormones running wild, etc, and it’s just delicious. 

Nene is the normal-person-audience-surrogate-girl in a way that is more common for a shoujo protag, and the way her emotional connections to everyone, her sweeping romantic fantasies and her interiority are consistently in focus when she’s there- yeah, she’s definitely a plucky shoujo protag, 100%. And I’m all about that!!!

 One thing I especially appreciate (though this comes across more strongly in the manga than the anime thanks to the anime rearranging things) is when Nene finds out about Hanako’s Heavy Baggage, she actually takes some time to herself to consider whether she can handle dealing with someone with these intense issues as a kid who’s never encountered stuff like this before- it’s not assumed by the story that the Sweet Girl is Obligated to help the Tragic Boy. I go into more detail about this part in this part here, but it’s that kind of attention to Nene’s needs that makes her role in the story work. Hanako and Nene and everyone’s struggles to get the hang of and properly navigate honest communication and mutual support in relationships are often really great and real-feeling

The story has a lot more things I love packed in to it- a dorky-but-still-deeply-unsettling villain gang who’s screwed up interactions are just as fun as our protagonists, yokai, A CURSED LIBRARY, some great ladies in addition to Nene, meditations on the nature of life, death, themes about fighting nihilism, and so on...I could seriously go on forever. It’s good stuff, and there’s lots of good weird supernaturals to meet.

The story’s also got tons of intrigue! The overarching plot and Hanako’s Mysterious Past is still in the process of unfolding, but it’s been great drama every step of the way! As mentioned before, the story also really relies on funny character dynamics, interaction and development to carry the whole thing and balance the drama.

The anime itself does have some pacing issues bc they crammed a lot into the first season and rearranged some stuff- an entire two chapter arc was skipped and was unlikely to be covered in the anime and some parts are noticeably rushed. I still really like the anime and it’s a solid adaptation. I love how much of the manga’s detailed aesthetic it managed to keep as well as the amazing voice acting and it made a few small but important additions. But there are some notable bumps- of course this just led me to go binge the manga (up to volume 12 is legally available digitally) and BOY DO I NOW LOVE THIS STORY EVEN MORE. 

Now obviously, just because it is Exactly My Shit in a lot of ways doesn’t mean Hanako-kun is the much quested for “unproblematic fave”, there’s several caveats you should probs be aware of- its shoujo vibes also mean some classic shoujo ~Problematic tropes~ and a couple shounen ones. 

THE LIST:

-Just as a general content overview thing: if this wasn’t clear the show deals heavily with death, body horror and other horror aspects. There’s heavily implied suicide and abuse and so on- as mentioned, the main character is traumatized and shows a lot of symptoms of PTSD, and Nene has to struggle to navigate her relationship with him because of this, as does Kou.

-Hanako himself has the whole ~loveable pervert~ and ~slightly possessive shoujo bad boy~ schtick going as part of his mischevious persona. In the anime so far, he never actually gropes or comments on not-in-his-naughty-mags-people’s breasts or anything of that level thankfully, but he’s very flirty, clingy, will loudly bring up porn, fond of the ol’ *says something that purposefully sounds sexually possessive* HAHAHA U THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING DIRTY RIGHT LOL ACTUALLY I DIDN’T.”

(My unnecessary ‘this part is kinda interesting!’ ramble: Nene always lists “sexual harassment” among Hanako’s flaws (she loves listing them), but doesn’t get visibly uncomfortable with his flirtiness or seem to mind it most times, which at least makes the whole thing more tolerable for me.

(since she doesn’t seem to mind that part and its clear he does it bc of actual affection for her, it’s actually p. cute how huggy he is.)

 The one time it does cross the line and genuinely upset her, it’s treated seriously, Hanako is genuinely regretful and apologizes. That’s one of my fave moments in the story and the way it’s handled is well done.

 This incident that he’s honestly pretty socially clueless as kid who died young and a lot of his bravado is to cover that up and keep people at a distance- this is a trope into itself that can use unpacking but I do at least appreciate that this is a considered character trait that’s part of his whole messed up package rather than something that thrown in there Just to Be a Fanservice Trope. (Especially since the manga confirms he never acted particularly pervy while alive, further cementing this is an affected persona). 

-There’s a running gag around Nene’s insecurity over her thick ‘daikon shaped’ ankles and boys treating her badly for it. 

One one hand, her body image issues are relatable, on the other, it feels cruel and annoying just how much the show finds ways to bring it up and humiliate her over and over again.

(My unnecessary “this is part is kinda interesting” ramble:The one thing i did realize that despite bringing it up constantly, we at least have no “i’m going to do this to lose weight” or “go on a diet” rhetoric,like this is just part of Nene’s body type and she knows she can’t change it? Which is kinda interesting. And I’ve spotted what might be foreshadowing something plot relevant’s going to happen with her ankles (I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT GOD I PUT NOTHING PAST THIS STORY) so uh yeah??? either way it’s not good tho)

-”Obsessive and twisted love” is a running theme in this story, and while it’s generally acknowledged as unhealthy, it can be played for comedy in a way that could make viewers/readers uncomfortable. There’s a couple characters who’s entire thing so far is “obsessively in love with this one person” (and the one only focused on in the manga so far is one of the least interesting characters tbh ugh)

-The antagonist of the show is a member of a main character’s family, and the manner he acts towards pretty much everyone, including (and really especially) his family member,  verges on seductive. This is presented as deliberately unsettling and treated as a marker of how unstable and scary he is- and though the backstory between them hasn’t been fully delved into, it’s pretty much all but confirmed he abused this family member physically and emotionally.

-The story has like, A LOT of queer subtext and pretty-heavy queer coding for one character especially, but the few times queerness blatantly comes up in the story, it’s played as a joke in the “haha that’d be kinda weird” way (aside from the rando boys who have a crush on Teru, handled pretty neutrally). It’s not as malicious as a lot of animanga can get (ONE MANGA INCIDENT ASIDE), but it’s something to Be Aware Of, and it makes it clear we’re unlikely to see subtext rise to text and makes some moments feel baity.

-And probably more I might have missed! The manga also has Some Shit in addition all the Good Shit that hasn’t been adapted yet, an early arc has Hanako crossing a serious line etc. 

BUT despite how messy it is, I think it’s clear I have a lot of love for this story. In fact, I wouldn’t trade away a good chunk of its messiness (DEFINITELY SOME JUST NOT ALL), it kinda works for the characters and works in the “this story really feed my inner teen” way. Some of the trashy parts are exactly My Trash, basically. 

So, I knew I’d ramble on for a while when I talked about his show, but if you’ve read this far, thanks, and I hope that means you’re gonna check out and maybe enjoy this story, bc i need more people to join me in Hanako Hell.

[burnedbyshoto]

Ashido Mina

a/n: so, here’s to the start of my event! sfw is above the cut, nsfw is below it! I’m having a lot of fun with these and I hope you all enjoy :D

SFW

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Super affectionate with you. You need a hug, a kiss??? Mina will provide everything needed

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Come out of nowhere and hug her from behind, or plan something super romantic and spontaneous, she’s such a romantic that the more cliche the better

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Mina loves being the big spoon because she loves to bury her nose into your hair. She will cuddle with you whenever you please honesty

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

She wants nothing more than to win a dancing competition with you, or at the very least join one with you

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

A lot of effort, she’s the type to date intending on marrying who she’s marrying so, you better treat her right

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

She will get a big blanket and roll you up and just hold you, you’re a burrito baby now

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

she is the type to give you over the top things. think of jim’s present to pam during christmas before they got together… yeah, pretty intimate and intense but something you’ll love.

mina loves a gift in return and she especially loves gifts where she gets to do thinking’s with you!

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

hugging all the time!!! she loves touching you!!!

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

a total romantic, everything she does for you is done with hearts in her eyes, and she has no issues with prodcasting such love

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

while not one too typical to get jealous because she trusts in you, when she gets jealous know she gets touchy. like stand behind you with her mouth to your neck touchy.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

minas kisses are super gentle and sweet, she’s not the best kisser but she’s so passionate about it that you forget. if you go a day without getting at least ten kisses from mina, something’s wrong

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

mina doesn’t know what to do when she figures out she loves you. it’s something she’s always imagined feeling but now that it’s real she can only gape like a fish. she’ll accidentally blurt it out before her 10 step plan to confess happens. she prefers to show it then say it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

she wants a full out reception party. she wants the biggest dance floor and the two of you to perform 194930 dances together.

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

mina actually treasures dates where the two of you stay in! the both of you lead busy outside lives that intimate ones indoors resonate deeper within her heart

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

there’s not much she wouldn’t do for you, but on the rarest of occasions she’ll let you touch her horns.

P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

super playful relationship! playing nerd gun fights in pjs at two in the morning! laughter is always echoing in the hallways with you two

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

she’ll always ask for opinions on things she’s unsure of and will ALWAYS give her own thoughts about it

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

she is a very big on the spot person! not that she doesn’t plan things out, just successwise she has better on the spot events

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

the two of you nap together more, especially during high school because you both are too nervous at getting caught in the others room overnight!

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

trusts you completely. if she didn’t trust you, she wouldn’t have ever asked you out

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)

how deeply she loves. your hobbies will become her hobbies. it doesn’t matter because mina loves dancing and you do it with her, so you best believe she will do whatever hobby you love the most!

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

being vulnerable with you is super hard for mina because she’s always just so hyper and cheery, that the first time she’s vulnerable it makes you worry because it’s super super scary to see her sad and horns wilting as if in response. it takes about three months for her to show you this side.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

mina loves comparing her hand size with you. whether they’re bigger or smaller than hers, she’s just fascinated by your hands she can’t help but stare and compare.

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

suddenly number 18 in the class is outperforming number 1 in the class. she becomes instant health genius as she does anything to make you feel better

“mina is just a paper cut!”

“if we make it a slightly deeper cut you won’t feel the stinging pain anymore!”

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

constant negativity. like the yucky kind that drains the fun from everything. she hates that in a s/o so much. like there’s a difference between that and being a pessimist and she sees and understands that.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

she wants and LIKES THE PASSION OKAY?! give mina her ideal love 2k19

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Mina lays there breathing for a full 5 minutes

She is always overwhelmed post sex, just give her a minute

While not the best at cleaning up, she lowkey loves just laying in your guys mess, she will always cuddle and hold you.

Lots of pillow talk

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On herself, mina prides herself on her arms and legs, she’s extremely proud of her natural strength

Mina is a useless boobs gal. 

dangle them in her fucking face p U H L E A S E

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Mina fucking loves it when she can get herself to squirt

Like one you guys figure out how to make her squirt it’s going to happen every time y’all fuck cuz it sorta reminds her of her quirk

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has definitely masturbated to an innocuous picture of you when the two of you went months without seeing each other

never masturbated until the two of you got together tbh

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Is not experienced at all prior to you! Mina is a romantic with a terrible streak prior to you, but she is a fluid person so she nails everything in the bed fast

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Favorite position is kneeling. She gets to hold you tight and full access to your boobs.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Definitely, the lover who goes from super romantic and intimate sex to can barely take this seriously love making

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Always groomed. The second she knew she was gonna fuck you she got that shit waxed. She has a heart strip though, and yes, her pubes are curly and pink

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Sex with mina is very very intimate, even if its in a joking matter. She truly cherishes everything about you and will always try making your sex life as amazing as possible

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Loves masturbating together. Like loves it so much. She loves watching you please yourself while she… ahem… assists you with some toys

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hair-pulling: she loves having her hair pulled and the feeling of fingers knotting into her curls, degradation: she loves calling you impolite names because of the way you react, roleplaying: LOVES DRESSING UP AND CREATING A NEW PERSONALITY OKAY

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

By far her most favorite place to have sex is in the backseat of a car. It’s risky and hot. She’s addicted.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Physical reactions. Moan for her, move your body and praise what shes doing for you. Also when you wear that one big t-shirt with your hottest lingerie underneath and give her a lap dance

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

DO NOT TOUCH HER HORNS. THE MOMENT THEY ARE TOUCHED SHE’S DONE

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving more. Only on special occasions does she like having the attention on her, but for the most part, she will spoil you

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

All depends on her mood! She genuinely loves going fast and rough, but on anniversary nights, she enjoys slow and sensual paces

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Is definitely down to have a quickie, she thinks it’s hot, but only once every 2 years. She just enjoys being able to hear you scream as loudly as she can make you scream.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Very experimental! The two of you have designated days for trying out new things just because you’re never too sure

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Mina actually comes really fast, it’s a big reason as to why she prefers focusing on you! But she has good stamina and can last to three full and kinky rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys are a must.

Vibrators, dildos, strap on, anal beads.

You think of one, you two own it.

They are very used and will go interchangeably, but are more often used on you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not that big of a tease actually. Like she may abuse vibrator rights, but it’s not in a teasing way! More like a “i’m trying to make you squirt” way

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

She’s very loud in bed!

Moaning, whining, mewling, and sometimes even begging

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

The first time the two of you had sex, mina came twice in under two minutes. Once because of how your breasts felt rubbing against hers and when you pressed your soaked cunt against her own

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those shirts and pants, picture or words)

Mina is a blessed girl with round perky breasts, probably a dd-cup. her right one is actually bigger surprisingly! And she has inverted nipples. She has larger than average labia

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Went from sorta there to we fuck at minimum five times a week.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Takes her forever to fall asleep, will be awake long after you pass out

[ratspberry]

many naruto thoughts head overloading

ok im only like 20 episodes into shippuden and i skipped a Lot of filler in original naruto bc i do not have the patience </3 (i will come back to the filler one day though) and while i love this anime theres so much i wish... was not written how it is

first of all sakura... i love her sm and i just wish her character was given some more care like at this point in shippuden im actually really enjoying the direction shes taken but i heard a lot of her growth is sidelined when sasuke comes back into the picture and thats my biggest issue. im sorry but if youre going to introduce a TRIO of main characters i want to see that main group equally fleshed out. first going all the way back to the beginning i wish that sakura was allowed to fight??? like we KNOW shes super smart and has powerful chakra so even when at that time she wasnt the most skilled fighter (as far as we KNOW at least. given that we barely got to see her fight who knows!) she couldve in the very least played a similar role to that of shikamaru as far as leadership and strategizing. and ok her crush on sasuke should have dissipated a lot more after the chunin exams. even though i do hate to see her spend so much time fawning over sasuke when hes not even particularly kind to her i think a crush in the beginning could still work IF the moment of her cutting her hair (“sasuke likes girls with long hair”) and her battle w ino during the chunin exams were like an eye-opening moment for her when she was like “wtf am i doing i am going to work hard as a ninja to prove that i can do this to MYSELF and MY RIVAL first” (which. ok she does get to this point later and again i love her learning chakra and getting strong as HELL during her training w tsunade but again. i want to see that REMAIN parallel to the enormous power level leaps that sasuke and naruto make. also let sakura and ino have a fun friendship rivalry that has nothing to do w sasuke) . i think it would be better if she naruto and sasuke were just friends who ALL help and motivate each other. and so when sasuke leaves sakura is STILL super fucked up over it and maybe even has a hard time trusting naruto again after he comes back? (but ofc she eventually does bc power of friendship) like IDK loss of one best friend, then almost immediately after your other best friend (who u just learned secretly is sealed w the nine tails and the akatsuki is after him just like orochimaru was after sasuke) leaves you for THREE YEARS??? kind of a salt in the wound moment! also im simply not even going to touch on all the comphet marriages in the end

next im going to talk about rock lee my friend rock lee who i adore. anyways he either should not have foregone the surgery from tsunade or died from it. HEAR ME OUT! this surgery was good in showing how powerful tsunade is as a healer but like? was it necessary? after she brought naruto back to life??? as far as lees characterization his whole thing is that he may not have special jutsu or the same prodigal abilities as his peers but he can still be as powerful or more powerful! and idk i hate when characters have serious life changing stuff done to them and not seeing it fully explored in the story. like ok so we’ve got tsunade telling lee (who cant be older than 12? 13?) theres a 50/50 chance he’ll die in the surgery to heal him. and then guy ENCOURAGES HIM, HIS FAVORITE STUDENT, to go through with the surgery so he could then go on to be a ninja and continue risking his life?????? so i thought that was pretty screwed up. which leads me to the two paths that i think would be interesting to see play out: 1. lee doesnt get the surgery, but continues to train as a ninja. his injuries still exist but lee learns to fight WITH the injuries and creates a really cool badass unique fighting style and goes on to be a great ninja like he dreamed 2. lee dies in surgery. id hate it i would and i dont WANT lee to die but it might be a fuckin wakeup call to all these adult ninjas urging kids into warfare. lee is beloved by all so it would be a good moment of pause for everyone to think like “ummm so the systems that be are kind of majorly fucked up.”

those are the two main ideas i had but heres a few misc things:

-jiraiya can be the author of as many trashy romance novels as he wants but him hitting on younger women and being like a peeping tom and UGH the way he was introduced w narutos ‘sexy jutsu’ is just. not good. take it out.

-let tsunade look her age. like the whole “she uses her chakra to make herself look young”? i dont buy it. i dont care that you just didnt feel like drawing a woman who looks over 20. you will do it anyways bc i said so.

-i dont dislike n/ruhina as much as i dislike s/susaku bc at least its clear theres a mutual respect and admiration there but hinata, like sakura, has so much more potential to be explored. idk if its looked at in filler or later in shippuden (id sure hope so) but i think her parallel to sasuke is kind of interesting? both have intimidating, extremely powerful older brothers (i know neji is technically hinatas cousin or smth but whatever older brother figures. also i know hinatas sister is also supposed to be super powerful but idk her yet) who are held in high esteem by their families and have all this pressure on their shoulders to want to surpass them? given that neji didnt um. do the things itachi did clearly its not the SAME between hinata and sasuke but i feel like examining the hyuga family dynamics would be SO interesting in comparison to sasukes arc. i didnt mind seeing hinata motivated by naruto the first few times but like. there is SO MUCH MORE THERE than JUST hinatas relationship to naruto.

-all of these kids need therapy but ESPECIALLY sasuke like the signs were there. halfway thru the bell test thing SUPER early on sasuke went into a full-fledged “i am an avenger.. i have to kill a certain someone” monologue and given the fact that everyone knows his entire clan was killed and that sasuke is likely VERY traumatized... who thought it was a good idea to let him become a ninja before addressing any of that. my god. like i love kakashi and i know he has his own devestating backstory and that hes a product of the system but why the Fuck would he let sasuke take the chunin exams. give team 7 a year more of training and getting to know each other and give sasuke some time to create bonds and maybe even open up emotionally and begin to heal and then MAYBE we can THINK ab chunin exams.

-asuma and ino apologize to choji for telling him not to eat as much challenge? did asuma not know that chojis clan uses food to replenish their chakra? it would make sense if ino didnt know but chojis teacher?? either way still p fucked, leave choji alone

-speaking of ino i want more of her character tok. why was she not included in that mission to save sasuke that shikamaru, her TEAMMATE, led?? was there an explanation for that?? i feel like her not being there was a missed opportunity for some real growth/bonding between team 10.

-speaking of the last bullet point shikamaru being like “ugh women 🙄” is tired and boring. very misogynistic “i hate my wife” facebook dad humor. cut that shit out

-orochimarus coding and his whole um. intent as a villain is just very. Hm. i dont think i like that very much but im not going to go into it bc im sure its been touched upon a million times

[yannsscarf]

A personal selection:

every favorite shot from every episode of Skam France season 3.

episode 1: the moment when lucas made up his mind and took the first step.

to me, its a hard one between the moment when eliott walked in le foyer and that facial expression lucas made. it's like a hit to the head and something was growing inside from that moment. but again to me the story of lucas begins here. he chose his fate, his instinct. he hesitated, swallowed, yet he still walked forward. i just love this moment so much.

episode 2:  the moment when lucas becoming the Polaris of eliott.

specifically this shot. lucas looked back and its almost like he was searching for acceptance. its so telling with his careful, longing, slightly doubted face. he cut himself open and presented his heart to his crush, it's so bold of a move but it's so beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful. and you can see eliott’s eyes, they are lightening up like there’s nothing brighter than lucas.

episode 3: the moment when they challenged each other.

where do I begin? or do I even need to? lucas’ eyes are telling everything. if there’s any moment that they are confirming things between them, this is the moment. lucas is challenging, eliott is challenging, they dare each other to take the first move. the tension, the desire, the nameless butterflies flying around in the air. name one stronger eye contact in tv history I’ll wait.

episode 4: ‘i’ve watched your project.’ ‘guess we have to marry now.’

this particular shot is hands down my fav in this season. just how it resembles the dream of eliott, how it shows that lucas is definitely the polaris to eliott, how brave and beautiful it is for lucas to take a lead and show his pure admiration and love to eliott. at this moment they stopped questioning, they stopped guessing and teasing, they found each other. I might be the weirdest person but to me, locking fingers is waaaaay more poetic, sensual and significant than other physical contacts. and this moment completed me.

episode 5: the ending shot.

how do you say, disappointed, hurt, brokenhearted, numbed and despaired? this ending shot tells you how. I don't know where to begin or how to begin to describe the feeling that I had after this scene. or how much it is enough for me to appreciate the cinematography in here. every time I watch it I'm always amazed by that certain amount of blurriness in the ending shot, as if its seen through the eyes of lucas, blurred out from time to time, losing focus every now and then, crushed by rage, despondency, and hopelessness.

episode 6: utter vulnerability, emotionally raw, and friends become family.

I love how lucas is being the one who comforts people in the beginning and tried so hard to get himself together, yet failed in the end. the whole blue in this shot, tone-wise and emotion-wise, is thoroughly conveyed. somehow in the mood of sadness and sorrow, we felt the warmth. in the moment of taciturnity, sadness was flowing under, and the tears were their way out.

episode 7: a fascinating dance in the rain of oil paint.

I probably rewatched this episode 200 times before i made my decision. what can say besides the fact that this clip is not only a tribute but a poem of its own. the way they swing, how they hold onto each other, the holy intimacy, and colors are everywhere as if we just walked into someone’s dream. the shot is so perfectly done it almost feels sacred to me, and nothing there should be violated. hold your breath, stop whatever you are doing, drop your phone, take a seat, and enjoy one the most beautiful shots in tv history.

episode 8: lucas’ ability to love people.

episode 8 is probably the hardest one. too much has happened and too many need to be remembered. i actually made a final 5 and then ditched them all, come up with this one. funny thing is that no matter how many times i watch this clip, especially this scene, i can't tell if its an improvisation or its actually in the script. but either way, they have given a whole new layer of lucas’ character, his ability to love. he stares at eliott until he has gone from sight, he blows a kiss to him even no one is there to catch. this moment is when i go, this boy is far gone in love, its so silly so pure so heartwarming yet so full of strength. he has the world’s strongest empathy even tho he’s gained less during his childhood. this level of devotion and loyalty made lucas the most loveable, angelic and relatable. (btw the tip of his nose bounces when he blows kisses I’ve watched it for two hours no regret.)

episode 9: remember stopped and lucas whispered, ‘T’es plus tout seul.’

kudos to the editing team because how many of us had goosebumps when remember was put on hold, as if the whole world has stopped and all you can hear is lucas’ mad heartbeat, following the line, ‘you are not alone anymore.’ its so simple, so heartwrenching, yet so powerful. they way lucas put himself in a lower position, forehead against eliott, hands cupping eliott’s face, you don't need to hear it to know how much he loves him. its written on his face.

episode 10: the tears of Juedi 17h32.

lucas has cried many times during this season. too many times to the point some pious, mindless people started to complain about it. I’ve said it before but I gotta say it again, be grateful, be devoted, it really is a privilege for us to sit there and witness them all. his emotions through his tears in this season are priceless. and how amazing the whole crew is because they aren't afraid to show it to the audiences. society tells men that its a shame to cry, and most of them act along. lucas said, fuck it, I’ll cry whenever I feel it. and isn't it just the most beautiful, important thing in the world? to me, episode 10 has blessed us some of the most accurate, sincere, on-point reactions. eliott’s honest monologue about his mental health, lucas’ overprotective status and his strong empathy showed up everywhere in those little details. but nothing hits me harder than this shot. the bus drifted, then the camera started pulling away but remained closeup, lucas’ emotions was poured out, everyone is feeling it through the screen. his tears are shed for sadness from parting, happiness from love and tenderness from eliott. his tears are the proof of living the moment, that lucas is living in the moment and feeling everything. and it has to be in our recognition that no one should be reserved from showing basic human emotions. 

I specifically took some of those out and highlighted some frames just to show that I really really love them. it’s not ranked, its nearly impossible to rank them. I already had a hard time choosing between scenes. again it’s only my personal taste and some might not seem to be important at all to others. but they are truly my favourite, cinematography wise, symbolism-wise, just anything.

I can’t even say its a tribute or anything to season 3 because it’s just my simple modification of the original work. I only picked them just so I can show my genuine appreciation to the whole crew. they are the real MVP. they have to know that I for one appreciate every second of the season and every piece of transmedia content. I laughed, I cried, I got upset, I became furious, I smiled, I rolled my eyes, I looked into the void, I sighed, but most importantly, I learned.

lucas lallemant, being the little hero he is, really had me fall hard. i don’t even know how to use my pale, plain, tasteless words to describe how much i love him. i love him knowing that i could never reach his level of bravery, and it doesn’t matter. i have thousands of words for him yet somehow I can’t say anything.

I guess if parallel universe does exist, maybe I’ll meet him, hold his hands, might even say thank you even if it sounds strange as hell. but I do thank him.

thank you lucas, for you being you, for always choose love. Thank you for never quitting, for never stop fighting. Sometimes I take a look at you and I tell myself, somewhere in this universe you exist, and that’s such a bliss. I don’t know what did I do to deserve you, such a gentle soul, such a golden heart. Thank you for just, your whole existence. I take a look back of the teenager me and seeing the things that I’ve missed, people who I’ve been wronged. And there’s you, lucas, there’s you. You did things that i never had the guts to do, you choose the one that I’ve lost a long time ago. And I’m so happy that you did because you deserve all the love.

You are my little hero and always will. It’s been such a short amount of time, if only I knew parting was this hard, I would give up anything just to live through these all over again, just so I can meet you one more time, just so I can see your beautiful goofy smile, hold your hands, and give you the biggest hug in the whole world, and say a proper goodbye instead of being a mess and totally out of breath because of all the tears.

I’m gonna miss you so much.

Goodbye Lucas, I love you so, so much, I really do.

Until next time.

[pearwaldorf]

fanwork roundup 2019

LIST OF FANWORKS NSFW is denoted with an asterisk. All Good Omens is Aziraphale/Crowley unless noted. the last witness before the wave hits (Good Omens, gen) can you feel my heart beat fast (I want it to last, need you by my side) (Good Omens) *well you laughed baby it's okay (it's buzzcut season anyway) (Good Omens) take care to leave a trace (KOTOR 2; Jedi Exile/everybody, Jedi Exile/Visas Marr) of some other man's belief (Good Omens, gen) I've got this feeling, so appealing, for us to get together and sing (Good Omens, gen) [archive-locked work] (RPF) I knew that sullen hall (Good Omens/Dragon Age: Inquisition crossover) *we gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves (The Last Jedi; Finn/Poe/Rey/Rose) healing spirit (Good Omens) [archive-locked work] (RPF) better than anything else that I've tried (Good Omens) gotta blame it on the goose (Good Omens/Untitled Goose Game crossover) *don't know you super well but you might be the same as me (Good Omens) sleeping at last (Good Omens) *don't need a crown to know that I'm a queen (Good Omens) *just let me try (and I will be good to you) - an Anthonavery RPF (Slow Show) *I can make you boil up baby, let it simmer (Slow Show) an instrument of thy vision (Rise of Skywalker; Finn) Tumblr ficlets I also did two challenges this year: Ineffable Fictober and Drabbletober. TOTAL WORD COUNT 

62423!!! By fandom: Good Omens: 36697 Star Wars: 7421 RPF: 5808 KOTOR 2: 2505 Dragon Age: Inquisition: 1105 Everything else (Critical Role, MCU, Hannibal, Mass Effect): 8887

OVERALL THOUGHTS 

Oh god it was so good to get my words back, and not only that, surpass my word count for my previous best year. The past two years have been super fucking bad for writing, and to be able to write with ease and joy againi feels like a marvelous gift, and I am grateful. And copypasta from last year, because it seems worth repeating: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better. 

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE I really do feel like I leveled up as a writer this year. The words were good and they came easily. I branched out a lot this year: RPF, really strange metafic, things that should be fic but the thing it's fic of doesn't actually exist. I had a lot of fun writing all of it. 

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO) 

I feel like everything was appreciated the right amount. I would have loved more people to have seen I knew that sullen hall, but niche crossovers are hard to attract attention.

MOST POPULAR

well you laughed baby it's okay, aka the hair-pulling fic. People really seemed to like it an almost disproportionate amount to its length and quality. Maybe it was exactly what fandom wanted at the time. Also somebody tried to plagiarize it so I guess that must mean they liked it a lot. :P 

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT Don't need a crown to know that I'm a queen. I like stories where characters know they're a snack and aren't afraid to show it off.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE 

Gotta blame it on the goose, for sure. It's so silly.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTION OF A CHARACTER

I knew that sullen hall. I never spent a whole lot of time with Blackwall, so it was interesting to get into his head for a bit. And in the course of writing the story, I had to think about things that he and Aziraphale would have in common, and it was useful character work for both of them.

HARDEST 

Of some other man's belief was a strange, recalcitrant story where I never really knew where I was going with it. All I know is it wanted to be written very very badly.  

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S 

The fake RPF I did for the Slow Show universe. The everything I wrote in the Slow Show universe. But it was great fun, and the Warlock Party House is a wonderful group of people. 

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT  

I wanted to get out a vid this year, but I don't think that's going to happen. 

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY 

Like I say every year, all my shit is out in the open.  

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES

Occasionally, as she is drifting off, she feels something shift in her awareness of him, like the brush of a hand on a curtain.(from we gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves) “Jesus fucking christ, angel. You can’t just say things like that.” “Leave that poor boy out of this. Now tell me, do you like the red or the black better?” (from Ineffable Fictober prompt "anything you like") He reached up to grab the other man’s hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Come for me, he tried to communicate with his touch. Flood me with your release. (from just let me try. I was writing it intentionally badly but sometimes I'm not sure people got that 😆) 

LINES/SCENES YOU’D CHANGE 

I try not to think about it because then I'll want to change them and then I'll never stop fiddling. 

TOP FIVE SCENES YOU WISH WOULD BE ILLUSTRATED

The alley scene in can you feel my heart beat fast Nanny, Warlock, and Aziraphale at the concert in I've got this feeling Crowley tending Aziraphale's hands in healing spirit This chapter (wings) from Ineffable Fictober Crowley chasing after the goose 

2020 WRITING AMBITIONS

As always, a look at last year's:

(Creative) Survival is still a laudable ambition. I will endeavor to produce as much as I can creatively, and hopefully exceed this year's incredibly pathetic word count. I haven't made a vid in a while, and I have a new NLE (VEGAS Pro 15) to take for a spin. Art is also part of resistance, and integrating it more into my life will be good. 

I think I did pretty well with the first two. Didn't make a vid, but I'm starting on one now. Good Omens was more important to me this year than I realized. Coming off Endgame, I needed something to feel excited about, and Good Omens is a very enthusiastic fandom. It also got me through the lead-up and release of Rise of Skywalker. For a while I was deeply suspicious a shoe was going to drop re: how much fun I was having in GO fandom because it felt too easy. People weren't wanking the day away (or I could avoid those that were) and they were so happy to love on the characters. And then I realized no, that's actually how it should feel to be in a fandom community. So I guess that's one of the things I'm going to do next year: prioritize joy, especially when it comes to fandom. I've never been exactly bad at writing whatever the fuck I want, but that is something I should continue to do. I would like to write something long with at least a modicum of plot. I am bad at both of these things, and it would be nice to prove to myself I can if I wanted to. I am going to try and make two vids next year and see if I can learn Vegas 15 and maybe another NLE. I also want to get a captioning/transcription guide up for fans who want to make their vids more accessible, as somebody asked about it.

[ohmytheon]

Press F

Day 2 for @shigarakiweek: Teamwork

Summary: Keep your enemies close - and your online friends willing to play the support and healer positions even closer. (AKA: Shigaraki unknowingly took Kaminari under his wing while gaming online when he was fifteen, but neither one of them actually bothered to figure out who the other person was and instead became sorta friends.)

Notes: Although this can very much be read on its own and I might write more for these two dumbasses, technically speaking, this is a prequel to Reconfigure and a spoiler for Chapter 24, although it's not a huge deal of the fic. This is pretty cracky, but I'll be damned if it's not one of the funniest things I've ever imagined. I've got a bunch of ridiculous headcanons. I didn't know it was Shigaraki Week this week until this morning, so when I saw the prompt for today, my brain went into over-drive. Hey, I guess I can knock something off my To Write List now? Also, apologies for not being like a ton of thought into Shigaraki's gamer name, but hey, I did my best in the thirty minutes I wrote this.

                                                         - - - - -

ThePalebloodStrider: you up for a few rounds?

TazerBlazer: yeah man i got school tmrw but lol fuck it

ThePaleBloodStrider: you’re an idiot

TazerBlazer: hey my grades aren’t that bad TazerBlazer: also i’m not the one with the creepy ass s/n :P

ThePalebloodStrider: it has meaning

TazerBlazer: yeah lol ok edgelord

ThePalebloodStrider: god you’re such a kid

TazerBlazer: bruh you been know TazerBlazer: we gonna do this or what?

Shigaraki peeled his gloves off to rub his temple. He hated wearing gloves when gaming - they totally messed with his dexterity - but Kurogiri said he couldn’t get another controller for two months if he disintegrated another one. His suggestion to wear gloves had been met with a lot of complaints and stomping around on Shigaraki’s part, but in the end, he’d dug a pair of gloves out of his nightstand and jerked them on with even more grumbling.

It wasn’t his fault that controllers were made to be held with all five fingers or that people online were such fucking idiots. Did these assholes even know how to play? They were wasting his goddamn time. Of course, if he stuck with simple RPGs, then maybe he wouldn’t have so many problems, but he had a viciously competitive side that craved destroying actual people instead of just computer NPCs. There was nothing quite like lording a top-ranked position in multiple rounds over others. Even his teammates got frustrated when he was infinitely above them.

He didn’t know why. They should be grateful since they were so pathetic and dumb. He wasn’t insulting them if it was the truth.

Tazer was different. He had been able to tell right off the bat due to his mic and playing style that he was younger than him, but he was infinitely helpful. Shigaraki wasn’t immature enough to not recognize the signs of someone that would be good in a party. There were a few people that were good at playing roles on a team. He was a leader, but a leader wasn’t a leader unless they had a follower. Tazer was chatty as fuck and tended to make impulsive decisions, but he was also reliable and a great team player.

A dumb, annoying, little shit, but happily willing to play the part of a healer and offer support in every campaign and game they played together, so Shigaraki would take it.

As the game loaded, he idly scratched his neck before remembering to Not Do That and then put his glove back on. Today had been frustrating. Okay, so he was sixteen, but he wasn’t a kid. He was fucking sixteen. There was no need to treat him like a child. Why couldn’t Sensei see that? It was like he flip-flopped between forcing Shigaraki to learn incredibly hard and brutal lessons and then acting like Shigaraki wasn’t capable of doing shit. He was ready for some real fucking action, but no, Sensei said that he had to wait. He was still learning.

It was hard to feel like he was being taught when all he felt was trapped. He knew the world wouldn’t actually want him, so he stayed inside. What little communication he did have beyond Kurogiri, Sensei, and a few of the villains that worked under him was online. And it would always stay like that. That little brat Tazer wouldn’t be so friendly with him if he knew what Shigaraki was actually like. The whole attachment was fake, but it paid off. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t-

“Aha! I got the mic to work. I thought I shorted it out.”

Shigaraki readjusted his headset. “Again?”

“Hey, hey, don’t get on me about that. Didn’t you say this is like your tenth controller?”

It was his fifteenth, but luckily Kurogiri didn’t know about at least six of them. He also didn’t know that Shigaraki might pickpocketed a few of the men that came to visit Sensei over the years. If they weren’t going to take care of their personal property, then what did it matter? Yes, he got a personal allowance that he kept very good track of, but he got in trouble for damaging stuff constantly.

And getting in trouble with Kurogiri was one thing, but with Sensei? Displeasing him was...unsettling. It was perhaps the only reason Shigaraki hadn’t argued with him more over things, especially since the fight that left him severely injured. He was recovering, which was why Shigaraki wanted to do more for him, but no, they had to stay quiet for now.

He had to be good - which meant no more destroying stuff in a temper tantrum.

“Whatever,” Shigaraki shot back. “You need to learn how to control your quirk more.”

“I am!” Tazer insisted. “I’m getting real good at it. I mean, my parents get onto me all the time because maybe I fry a few things once in a while, but I can even charge my own stuff now.”

“You’re using all your brain cells to charge up your electronics.”

“Well, you’re using all yours to be an asshat,” Tazer laughed.

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. No, he used his to be smart about shit unlike most people online. Okay, so he was probably an asshole too, but he didn’t need his brain for that. He could be one simply because he was better than most people on here. He liked to come up with strategies and plans, which Tazer dutifully followed for the most part. Young as he was, he liked being helpful, and he liked winning even more. At least he recognized his leadership qualities.

It wasn’t bragging if he knew he was smart. Tazer had been astounded that Shigaraki figured out he had an electricity quirk, but honestly, it was a no-brainer considering his gaming tag. Plus, he always felt like people with electricity quirks had more energy. Maybe that was why Tazer never seemed to have any issues staying up at all hours of the night gaming despite having school the next day.

When their game finally started to load, Shigaraki relaxed. The other team was filled with players holding high ranks. Man, it was going to be good to smash them. Nothing quite like taking down a few egos. Someone could play fifty times more than another player, but timing playing would never beat natural talent or inherent skill. It was why he stuck with Tazer. The kid played using instincts.

“Oh!” Tazer exclaimed excitedly. “Did you see the trailer for that new Godzilla movie?”

“There’s another one?” Shigaraki scoffed. “What’s this one? Thirty?”

“Don’t knock it, bro. It looks awesome! I’ll DM you the link.”

“I’m not gonna watch it.”

Tazer blew a raspberry. “Just watch it!” A notification popped up in the corner of his screen alerting him to a message with half of a YouTube link showing. “You’ll thank me later.”

“I doubt it.” Shigaraki would watch it later, but he might not admit it for a while. Let the kid hang a little. It was good to starve people of immediate validation - made them more patient. At least that was probably what Sensei thought. He could probably stand to work on his patience more, but he was getting better. He hadn’t thrown a fit the last time his connection had lagged while playing.

“E3 is coming up, so you’ve got a site to stream that, right, ‘cause-”

“Hey, kid!” some asshole from the other team named TopAlpha1321 barked. “You gonna ramble the entire game like a dweeb? Shut the hell up!”

“Stop being such a bottom,” Shigaraki snapped before muting the guy. He could see his name light up as he went off, but nothing could be heard.

“Eh? But his name says ‘Top’?” Tazer paused thoughtfully. “What’s a bottom?”

Shigaraki choked and held the mic of his headset to keep from being heard. Oh, shit, he knew that Tazer was a few years younger than him, but sometimes he forgot how much of a gap in information about shit there could be between their ages. Truth be told, he only knew about the term because of listening to chatter while gaming and accidentally stumbling across a very reprehensible site that nearly made him disintegrate his computer, but Tazer was dumb enough to look it up and-

Tazer laughed. “I’m just fucking with you, dude! I know what that is. I’ve got the internet.”

“You’re too young for that,” Shigaraki admonished, half out of shock and half in irritation for being tricked. Tazer might’ve been younger and a dumbass at times, but he could be a clever, little shit too when he wanted to be. It was probably why they worked so well together.

“What are you? My older brother?”

“Shut up and follow me.”

“Copy that, Captain.”

Shigaraki didn’t know why he put up with him. Oh, wait, that’s right - because the kid was quick as shit and always seemed to know when he needed back-up or to be healed. Maybe he wasn’t the best shot and he couldn’t tank for shit, but damn if he wasn’t sharp in that respect. People naturally good at support roles were not to be knocked. After all, a party couldn’t be complete or well-rounded without them. When it was time for him to take over and lead in Sensei’s stead, he’d made sure that he had a good team.

[akaherosandwich]

FAO Defenders Crossover P.2: Chinese for Christmas Dinner

(Logistical note, this is the second half of a crossover thread between @foundoutthehardway, @atrxvido, @ironrand, and myself, of course (as Jessica). It, like Part 1, is somewhat unfinished, but the plot has moved well past.  Please enjoy these losers having dumplings on Christmas eve.)

The police arrived shortly after the mess had ended- while Jess was certainly not the biggest fan of the cops, especially not of Mercedes Knight, there wasn’t much more the heroes could do.  Not on Christmas Eve.  They all ducked out the back, hoping the papers would pin this ‘Christmas miracle’ on the Devil or something.

“Goodwill to all, and all that shit,” Jess spat, wiping her mouth with the back of her glove.  “I never went to Sunday school, but I definitely don’t remember ninjas in the nativity.  God, I can’t believe it’s Christmas in a few hours.”  Not that she particularly cared.  She never celebrated, but with Luke around… maybe they could have tried.  Jess had actually bought him what she imagined was a good gift, but she’d never given a good gift in her life.  Why start now?  She could give it to him later, when they got home.

To the apartment that had been set on fire.  Jess was going to have to do something about that, especially in light of this ninja business.

“Anyways, kicking ass worked up my appetite and honestly after not eating all day I’d like to take advantage of that,” she muttered, looking down the street to see if any neon signs were still on anywhere. Matt sighed, wiping the blood from his mouth on the back of his gloved hand. Ninjas weren’t going to be the death of him, but Jessica quite possibly was. “I was raised by nuns, and for once, you’re right about that. Merry Christmas, for what it’s worth.” Ah, shit, Christmas. Foggy. He wasn’t going to be able to hang around. Just as well. He didn’t want anyone else knowing his identity. “Look, there’s about a billion real noisy signs buzzing around here, but would you serve Daredevil?” He had to admit, he was hungry as well. He didn’t exactly eat well before he went out either. At least he wasn’t as bad as Jessica. “C’mon, you have to eat, when you’re - never mind.” Matt knew about the Hand, and he knew that it wasn’t going to go well if they got involved without him, but at the same time - he barely knew Luke and this new guy. Up until recently, his interactions with Jessica had been almost solely (somewhat) professional. Leaving the camera incident aside. “Look. I gotta go. But you have fun.”

“Oh, No, you don’t,” Luke said, grinning. “No way, man, you do all that parkour business, beatin’ bad folks up without even being able to see -- you eat with us. I know a Chinese restaurant owes me about a dozen favors, and we should be looking to hole up for a while. Don’t worry about the warehouse, Misty’s got our backs.”

And their numbers. And probably a whole lot of community service hours for Luke. But that was tomorrow’s problem. Luke slung an arm around Jessica’s shoulder, and another around Matt’s.

“Mushu pork! Szechuan beef. Enough dumplings to sink the Titanic. Come on, it’s Christmas Eve, I’m gonna be a daddy, and we opened a dozen cans of whup on those fake ninjas. We should be celebrating. … and probably hiding.”

After the fight came to its seemingly inevitable conclusion, Danny wasn’t sure what to…. do. Of course, he already had notions of a lean, mean, fighting team spinning around in his head, but he did his best to tamp down such expectations. Jessica and the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen weren’t exactly the joining type. 

Luke seemed nice, though.

“You’re going to be a dad?” Danny couldn’t help but splutter. His eyes moved back and forth between Luke and Jessica several times. He pulled off his crappy ski mask to squint more meaningfully at them. 

Was Jessica….?

In any case, Chinese - especially off-brand American Chinese - sounded much better than Lean Cuisine. “Luke can pick the place, but dinner’s on me.”

Jessica saw the way the masked stranger was eyeing her after Luke’s excited blabbering.  She kept her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets and shrugged.  “Yeah, yeah.  But don’t go making a big deal about it, okay?”  Despite herself, she managed a smile and gave Luke a quick peck as he threw his arm around her.

When Danny removed his mask, she just about spluttered in surprise.  “Wait, Danny fucking Rand?  Are you serious with the- the… the dragon punching stuff back there?  I thought I told you not to worry about it on the phone.”  Jess paused.  “But at least you held your own in there.  Jesus, what an ass-backwards group we’ve got here.”

She shook her head, not wanting to fret about it.  And if Danny was paying for dinner, she wasn’t going to complain.  “Alright, alright.  Fine, let’s hash this out on the way to food.  Luke, Danny, Devil, you’re coming with.  I’m starved.”  Jess broke from her boyfriend’s grasp and made a move to find a restaurant.

“Look, yes, Chinese food is great and we need to lay low for a while but whatever this is, I -” His train of thought was interrupted by Luke’s casual arm-slinging. He sighed. “I’ve been down this route before, and these guys do not mess around. This isn’t the kind of decision you take lightly.” He also shrugged off Luke’s grasp, and moved in the same direction as Jessica. “You bring Misty into this, you’re putting her in danger.” Matt crossed his arms. “You’re really, really risking getting dead here. Just so you can make an informed decision. I’ll come with, because it’s Christmas, but this isn’t a movie and we’re not all one big merry band of vigilantes.”

Actually, Luke was pretty sure they were, at this point, most definitely a merry band of vigilantes. All the evidence pointed that was, what with the not having police jobs or uniforms and still kicking a pile of ninja booty. But Matt looked like… actually, just then, he looked like Jessica before her tenth cup of coffee in the morning. A little sour. Luke decided nodding sagely was a good way to go. 

Also.

“Misty is a cop in New York City. She’s in danger every day. We got a chance here to make things a little bit safer for her and all the rest of them. In a not-band of vigilantes way, obviously.” He winked at Danny. Danny looked on board with the whole merry band of vigilantes thing. They were going to need a name. 

“Here we are,” he said, pushing the door open. “We’ll close the blinds, order food, and Danny can tell us about the dragons.”

Was Danny the only one still caught on the whole ‘Dad’ thing? And the fact Jessica was pregnant? He decided to file that away for later.

“Surprise?” Danny said tentatively, fixing Jessica with an awkwardly apologetic smile. “Sorry, I would’ve told you earlier, but I’m-- trying to keep a low profile. Hence the whole mask situation.” He raised the cloth in his hand as if in explanation, though his gaze strayed momentarily to Daredevil. “...Think I might be due for an upgrade, though, especially looking at this guy.”

Luke was nodding sagely at the whole ‘we’re not a team’ speech, so Danny decided copying him would be the best course of action. He caught the wink at the tail end, and figured he didn’t do too bad. 

Although he was really starting to see the benefits, though. Of a team. 

“I’m actually thinking Daredevil should tell us what he meant when he said he’s ‘been down this road before’. And I can order.” He greeted the older woman behind the counter in Chinese, extending a hand and offering a charming smile.

“Yeah, the glowing fist just screams ‘low profile’,” Jess muttered as she slipped inside the restaurant, pretending she didn’t see that wink that Luke gave to Danny.  It smelled a bit like frying oil and chili spices in here, but it would do.  Empty on a Christmas Eve, surprisingly, but Jess checked a clock on the wall and realized how late it actually was.  And a grumble in her gut reminded her that she hadn’t really eaten anything that day to begin with.

She stood back as Danny began speaking Chinese, earning a grin from the older woman.  Jess rolled her eyes somewhat, grabbing a menu and finding a table in the center of the room for them.  She sat down and put one foot up on the chair next to her, flipping open the laminate pages to take a look at the food available.

“God,” she groaned.  “I think I took a few good hits to the face- that’s gonna bruise tomorrow.  At least those ninjas had the decency not to make any low blows.” “I can sense you winking, Luke.” Matt sighed, following Jessica’s lead to move towards the table. He chose the chair opposite her, as not to engage in a ridiculous power play over the seat she had her foot resting on. Luke and Danny could contend with that issue. He was actually hungry, and for once he wouldn’t have to defrost something or attempt to contend with inaccessible websites when he’d been hit in the head multiple times. That was a good enough reason to stay. It smelt like...pork dumplings, if he guessed right. “Look, the Hand? They’re immortal fanatics, but they’re secretive and everywhere - imagine if conspiracy theories were real, essentially. Low blows? Kidnapped about 20 innocent people purely to lure me into a fight. Doesn’t matter if you’re a cop, you got super strength, bulletproof skin, you’re a...dragon guy. The Hand will still Ruin. Your. Day.”

“You know what, I don’t even think you’re blind. Ain’t no one can sense a man winking. And even if they could, you’re being creepy about it. Lighten up, Matt. We can deal with The Hand, but not on an empty stomach.”

He listed Jess’s feet and put them in his lap, patting her ankles. And looked at her stomach as if any second the first of the bump might appear. Nothing yet, but he gave her a grin. Adrenalin still coursing through his veins, and pissed off or not he was feeling pretty good. 

Matt looked deeply, deeply unimpressed by that statement.

“They’re bad guys. Very bad guys. Bad guys trip ‘emselves up eventually, one way or another. And when they do, we’ll be there. We beat them, remember? We can do it again. Is that the sesame prawn toast?”

Danny gave the owner’s small, wrinkled hand one last squeeze before returning to the table, just in time to catch Matt’s comment about The Hand. Luke was pretty blasé about the whole thing, but Danny knew a thing or two about secret ninja cults. They were way old and way dangerous, stuff nobody in their right mind ought to fuck with casually. 

(Though he supposed ‘right mind’ would not be...  precisely applicable to the people sitting around this table.)

“Immortal fanatics?” Danny probed, turning one of the chairs around and taking a seat between Matt and Luke. He’d seen magic happen firsthand - literally - but nothing like immortality. “What exactly is their objective? World domination, or something?”

Connie - the old woman who owned the restaurant - set several plates of still steaming food onto the table in front of them. Danny offered her a smile and a brief thanks. 

“Luke’s right, obviously, I just think-- it’s important to know what we’re up against,” he loaded a couple onto his plate and handed Luke the sesame prawns. “Especially if we’re talking conspiracy theory levels of crazy.”

“Tch,” Jess hissed, frowning at Matt. “I meant ‘low blows’ in the sense that no one tried to punch me in the stomach. Because that could have ended badly. But yeah, sure, they’re bastards.”  She was so not here for the talks of crazy ninja cults and apocalyptic doom to Hell’s Kitchen.

Jess put one arm over the back of her chair as Luke pulled her legs into his lap. She gave him a little wink of her own- sense that, Matt. She then heaved a tortured sigh as if this was a massive inconvenience for her as the boys talked circles around this immortal fanatic situation. It made the days she complained about dealing with cheating spouses seem like a treat.

“Up against? We? I’m not exactly making these guys a passion project of mine.” Nor was she planning to make this ‘team up’ any more than a convenient and coincidental gathering of adjacently-familiar powered people.

The investigator straightened in her seat as several steaming plates of food were set down at the table. Jess reached for her pair of chopsticks, separating the flimsy wood sticks and quickly stabbing a few fried gyoza, shaking them off onto her plate. “Luke, pass the soy sauce?”

“At the risk of having this held against me for the rest of my life, I agree with Jessica.” For a quiet life, he chose not to comment on her wink. Matt’s reticence to commit to this was warring with his desire for sesame prawn toast. He settled for grabbing some - and maybe some of those pork dumplings - and sighing deeply at the same time. “You don’t want stopping the Hand to be your New Year’s Resolution.” He also got the sense that he was going to end up on this ride anyway. He’d not known the man long, but Danny gave off a sense of being far too interested in the concept of fighting immortal ninjas. 

“That’s just about it. They’ve built crime empires over centuries, and are willing to do just about anything to keep themselves going. I’m not being creepy about it. You’re being overly lax about it. When the suit’s on, you call me Daredevil. That’s it. Not all of us can afford to be so casual with our identities.” He wanted to cross his arms, to make the point, but that would have made it somewhat difficult to eat, so he settled for sullenly squeezing a gyoza between chopsticks harder than was strictly necessary.

---

[AND THEY ALL HAD DINNER AND BECAME BEST FRIENDS AND JESS AND LUKE HAD NOTHING BUT CUTE TIMES BEFORE THEIR BABY CAME AND ALSO SOMEHOW DANNY GOT THE BABY NAMED AFTER HIM, AND MATT WAS THERE TOO BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL BEST BUDDIES FOR LIFE. XOXO THE END]

(Okay, I took some liberties with that last part.)

[knarfire]

My opinions on the HS epilogues

Allright so I just finished reading both routes of the epilogue and let me tell you, HOH BOI it’s something. Before I start, kind of want to mention that this will contain spoilers for the epilogues (duh)

Okay so, personally I don’t really understand all of the hate this has been getting. Like sure okay, I can understand the epilogues deal with some very uncomfortable shit. But you can’t say you haven’t been warned? I mean like all of the shit in the tw tags at the start were p much in there! 

Regarding my opinion on what they did with the story: tbh I kind of loved it? 

Was it uncomfortable? Yup! Was it long to read? Yup! Were the characters different than where we left them? Yup! Was it a compelling and interesting read? Oh god yes!

Personally I read it as Meat > Candy instead of Candy > Meat. And to me it was so satisfying, because Meat sets up a lot of high stakes for a possible continuation of the story, while Candy provides a lot of explanations behind them. I got the vague feeling more will be released and the two routes will merge into one canon line.

As for the actual story beats:

1) Dirk gets slightly megalomaniacal. And tbh I loved it, like sure the things he did was horrible, it fucking sucks he doesn’t respect pronouns, but my god it was so well written that I loved to hate him. To everyone saying: Dirk would never do that and its ooc uwu. Have you seen Dirk? I mean he already had a lot of abusive beats when he was in paradox space together with Jake, and taking AR + Bro into consideration it is definately not outside the realm of possibility for Dirk to become that way. Especially in this supposed “Ultimate Self” where the barriers between his different states seem to fall away. + Given that he p much went unchallenged in paradise Earth C it makes sense to me that he could’ve slipped. However, I don’t think its necessarily slipping? Because if you’ve read both routes it becomes clear, very clear in fact, that Dirk has a goal in mind which he thinks can save his friends, paradox space and the universe. Since Dirk would do everything in his power to achieve that goal, it really seems in character to me? Because already in Main!Homestuck, Dirk was already ruthless in achieving his goals not really caring for what happens in between, as long as his friends were safe. So yea Dirk while megalomaniacal, tried to achieve his goal to help everyone in the grand scheme of things, which ultimately imo was still in character. Also his suicide in candy was actually quite logical, considering the fact that he was already as his ultimate self before the epilogues began. So he likely sensed he was not in a timeline where he could do much to the story, therefore his goals could not be achieved. Ergo his ruthlessness lead him to the conclusion that the best for this timeline would be his removal in it. 

2) As for Roxy, I fucking loved them. But that’s not so weird supposing they’ve already been my fave and the fact that they’re enby makes that even better. Truly I stan them. In meat however I feel like their role was ultimately subservient to Dirks’ greater plan and scared to stand up to him. Which again to me seems like a logical continuation where Roxy was kind of scared to stand up for themselves against their friends as they didn’t want to drive them away. Like I truly stan the moment they came out to Jade. Also for anyone saying: “muh they didn’t show dysphoria, therefore they’re not non binary or trans” just fuck off, being non binary or trans does not mean you have dysphoria. Being NB/Trans can also be due to euphoria, which seems to be the case for Roxy here. Combined with the fact that NB (at least in my opinion) kind of also means the rejection of gender rules as proposed by the society which you navigate, it would make perfect sense for Roxy to be NB. I mean they literally grew up with almost no other humans surrounding them, they had no society around them!  As for the Candy!Roxy, again loved them there, sure here they didn’t come out as NB but it was stil discussed at least. Like the relationship they hold to their body, take the pregnancy for example and how that placed their body into functionality>gender role. And their exploration of that role with john before where they became almost hyper feminine (at least in their presentation, and the roles that they prescribed on themselves at the early stages of pregnancy) only later to find out that relationship was in my opinion quite well written. Kind of almost because it mirrors my own story where I was first already kind of unsure bout whether I was a dude, later trynna become hyper masculine and after that only finding the right relationship. I was sad to see Roxy was seemingly “meek” in their relationship with John, but I loved how they resolved that arch before the end of Candy!. In short: I fucking love this Enby god and I will fucking protect them. Don’t even @ me, esp with transphobic/ enby-phobic shit.

3) I fucking loved Dave and Karkat, especially in Meat! But also their complex relationship almost in Candy. Not much to say, just fucking love these two awkward gays/ bis/pans.

4) Jade was for me probably the most jarring, but again her behaviour still seemed quite in character and a logical extention of what was already established in the main text. Wasn’t a huge fan that they turned her into a plot device

5) The fucking election/Revolution. While the election was more of a B story for meat, it was excellently mirrored by Candy! Revolution. I just fucking love how Karkat almost mirrors the Sufferer from his ancestry and that he would do anything so the trolls won’t become oppressed once more. Really curious if this will be played out later. 

6) I loved the fight over the narrative and that it proposes the question of, who has actually been telling us the story for all this time? Like it sheds a new light on the story of homestuck as well, was it told to us all along by just Hussie, or was it perhaps Calliope? Does it matter which of the two it is as their tonal voice could sometimes be effectively construed as the same? Or was it Dirk all along reflecting on his past on that new M class planet they just found? Is Candy! only told by Calliope, or does Dirk still hold influence over that universe? Will other characters such as Dave or Rose also gain power over the narrative as they might achieve their ultimate selves. Or are they now just puppets to Dirk with their essences in metal bodies constructed by Dirk? 

And tbh I have so much more, but I think others might say more about them later on. This post is already long enough hahaha. In summary I loved the epilogues so far. Were they uncomfortable, again yes, but the narrative was compelling and the characters/ conversations so well written. I particularly loved the Dave/Obama interaction. Kick it Barack. I also fucking loved the new characters they introduced Earth C Vriska, Harry Anderson, Earth C Tavros. What a babies. Did it do things wrong, yea I didn’t really like how Gamzee was handled in this story or at least the interactions between Gamzee/Jane/Jake. They made me feel most uncomfortable, but not ooc. + I didn't really care for how Jane treated Jake. Anyhow, those were my opinions, if you want to ask me anything about them feel free to hmu. 

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz