#EDITED AGAIN bc I forgot to mention this was a fic now???

[fallen6253]

The Stars Have Fallen to Earth, Can You Imagine That?

Tanned skin.  White hair.  Dark eyes. Their gaze moves slow, steady, makes its way to the window of a subway car.  In the brief moment it passes by, a small head with black hair peeks through. 

There was no eye contact.  But they knew the other was there. On some subconscious level, as if their very essence were attuned to one another.  

A rumble.  The car trembles.  Then it shakes.  Suddenly it's been thrown off the course of eternity and into a place of being known.

The subway crashes into solid ground.

A dreaming boy wakes up.

Miles away, a priestess known for denying god staggered in her footsteps.  Another migraine.  Another message.

Accompanied, for the first time, by an earthquake.

Huh. New.

The priestess picks up a pen and paper and rushes to a place hidden in darkness.  

A young man, hair and eyes as dim as night alight with stars, is waiting for her at the door to a beautiful home.  He walks her to a sitting room, tables set to the tone of a business meeting as if that was what this was.

Business as usual.

Of course.  It is.

He has a message about this world’s newest arrival.  And…a request.

She says this looking towards a man known for his wit and wile.  Brown eyes saturated to a dulcet red.  Blood red hair.  Clothes fitting and comfortable.  

He was on vacation.

Was.

The note warned first and foremost that nobody would hear from the god for a while.  Apparently bringing stars down from the sky costs quite a bit.  Well, that was what the note said, but the one reading it did not know its meaning yet.

The note then told them that the epicenter of that earthquake was near his home, and the damage to the forest should not be too drastic, since the cause was made of stardust and dream remnants and memories far too old to recall anymore.  It should fade with time, as all memories do.  By then it will return to creation and merge with the forest.  Again, the reader did not know what that meant.  He could only guess some things.

But the last lines caught his attention.  For two reasons.

The first being the mention of a child.  Far too young and far too ancient for all that it has seen.  The second reason being that this god made a request.  Not some mission with a reward.  Not some threat or warning with a clue as to how these mortals would react.  A genuine request he could choose to ignore completely without consequence since the god was indisposed. A sincere gesture for help that does not involve favors or world-blaming calamities.  

This being known for death asked a single mortal to save a helpless existence.

And for once the person reading it did not think about rejecting it at all.

He could be annoyed about it, something crashlanding into his forest, but…

There’s a kid that needs help first, we can yell at god for throwing him here later.

Do you think the plotting protagonist kept a library with stories of others like him?  Of dying worlds and forgotten names and tired heroes who made too many mistakes?

Edited, bc I have had a title for it and I just didn't change the post for some reason.

[akingdomscrypt]

Forget-Me-Not

Part One

Pairing; Gaz x male!reader

WC; ~6.3k

Warnings; none? I don't think?? Lemme know if there are any I should tag

Summary; gaz is definitely an attraction-at-first-sight kinda man/ it's time to wake up from that coma bby <33

A/n; when I said 'fluffy' I meant no one was gettin tortured this time around . Also, yes, this is definitely a set up for a ton of angst content <3 (note the unfinished ch title) There's going to be a "missing scenes" feel to this one, that's intentional.

Edit- I forgot to mention, this takes place before the other two fics, during the mw2 campaign (tho I definitely spread out the events bc no way could this all take place in the span of a week)

---"this is how we began,"---

Kyle had just gotten back from almost a week of being tossed around like a damn ping-pong ball when he met them. Or, rather, met you.

Fresh out of the shower—yet he swore he could still smell that filthy water on himself—and bored out of his mind with nothing else to do.

It would take a bit of time before Laswell fed them some more actionable intel, and to Kyle's knowledge, the two other members of their team were already on the hunt in Mexico. So all there was to do was wait.

Well, Kyle figured he could probably use this time to catch up on some much needed rest—but where was the fun in that?

He couldn't sleep, not right now, not when Price had informed him of a new squad touching down at their base this afternoon. According to the captain, they—around five or so soldiers—were just here to provide support if needed.

Kyle didn't think it was necessary, but it's not like he had any say in the matter. Especially since, apparently, the squad would only be using their base as a rest stop between their own missions. So, again, he didn't see the point.

But, like any curious soldier would do—and any who were a bit skeptical about their newest comrades—, Kyle was already beelining his way to where he knew the newcomers would touch down.

Kyle had paid attention to the bare minimum information needed to avoid butting heads with the group, but never dug much further than that. Some American mercenaries under General Shepard's direct command and, as he'd mentioned before, here to provide support or something. Again, he hadn't paid much mind to the info thrown at him; honestly didn't think he'd end up meeting them anyhow.

Only when he finally gets out on the tarmac Kyle doesn't immediately rush to greet the new soldiers as he usually would. He comes to a full stop, previously resting heartbeat now running a marathon in his chest, gaze zeroed in on you.

Seeing you—your form lax and almost casual in comparison to your stiff-postured comrades, a certain air of confidence surrounding you—made Kyle wish he'd done a bit more research, asked a few more questions.

Dressed no differently from the rest, there was nothing particularly interesting about you. Nothing that should draw him in so wholly upon merely seeing you. He couldn't even see your face, for fuck's sake—nor could he see any of the rest of the squad's, but that's besides the point.

You hadn't even glanced his way and Kyle was acting like a schoolboy seeing his crush in the hall between classes.

“You're staring, Kyle.”

“Mh- Wha-?” He drags his attention away from you, wholly prepared to start spluttering out his defense when he recognizes the man who'd come to stand beside him. Noticing the barest hint of a smile pulling at his captain's mouth.

With a soft scoff Kyle looks away again, shaking his head a little. “Not at all, Cap’, just scoping out the newcomers. That's all.”

As anyone else would do, of course.

But they both know it's a lie.

Right before Price has the chance to open his mouth again—likely to playfully call Kyle out on his bullshit in that gruff way of his—the aforementioned group of newbies comes to a stop in front of them.

Two in front, three fanned out behind them. Five after all, it seemed. You and some guy in the front, the rest Kyle wasn't sure of, their identities far too obscure to tell.

“Cap-” The guy standing beside you starts to speak, only to be roughly—albeit probably playfully—nudged aside by your elbow, effectively cutting him off.

“Greetin’s Captain,” you say, amusement obvious in your tone, a slight wrinkling at the corners of your eyes betraying a hidden smile.

And Kyle would be lying if he said he wasn't completely enraptured as you spoke. Barely even registering the hand you held out to shake Price’s hand.

“Shadow 0-9, at your service,” though there's still a hint of humor in your voice, there's a certain air of professionalism to it too. Even as you retract your hand and raise it, fingers curled into a fist and thumb jutted out, to gesture to the soldiers around you.

Starting with the one beside you, then on to the three behind you, right to left. “Joined by Shadows 0-3, 1-4, 1-5, and 2-3.”

Then it's on to the actually serious stuff. “Commander Graves has sent us under the General's orders to stay here and provide assistance to your cause if need be. Though mostly we will be carrying out our own missions and using your base as a landing zone between operations.”

And again, amused—your flip-flopping emotions were going to give him whiplash at this rate.

This time clapping a heavy, gloved hand on 0-3’s shoulder, the slight crinkle around your eyes returning. “If y'all got any questions, feel free to ask me,” lightly jostling 0-3 now. “these imbeciles hardly got a clue what's goin' on half the time anyway.”

It's obvious the other four Shadows are used to your antics, as none of them even bat an eye at your, likely empty, insult to their intelligence.

Kyle zones out as Price goes over his own spiel, mind somehow blissfully blank as he stands beside his captain. Thumbs subconsciously slung through his belt loops in place of gripping his vest like he usually would, gaze focused on the group in front of him, giving all the impressions of some serious, gold-star sergeant attentively paying attention to his CO.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

The spell Kyle is under only breaks when Price directs his attention his way, drawing his focus when the man says, “-gent Garrick ‘ere will show you lot around. All the standard things; barracks, mess, rec and the works-”

He then proceeds to space out again when your gaze slips from Price and to Kyle instead, not a single thing out of place as you analyze him.

It feels like you've got a scalpel to his skin, peeling away layer after layer. Through the muscle and fatty tissue, and deeper still, until you've reached the bone, and you keep going.

It's not uncomfortable, the way you tear into him like a rabid hound gobbles up a raw steak. Or maybe not rabid, no, you're not feral. You’re cool and calculating and yet playful all the same. A working dog, a trained hound, then.

It's more.. Kyle doesn't think he harbors the vocabulary to put it into words how he feels about it; flayed alive under your watchful gaze. It's strange. But it's not.. bad.

It's been all of five seconds when your eyes flicks away from him. A quick scan, a once over, just as he had done to your squad, and then you're fixated on Price again.

Price who's still talking, saying things Kyle doesn't have the wherewithal to bring himself to care about. Not when he felt so viscerally raw and unbelievably vulnerable in his own damn base at the moment.

He has a few more seconds to compose himself before Price finishes up and all five of the collectives’ attention is on him, expectant.

And so Kyle plasters on a carefree expression, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile, and casually nudges Price with a loose fist. A mused, “thanks, Cap'” and such, then he's taking charge.

Voice level and strong, like any typical self-respecting Sergeant, as he turns and urges the group to follow.

The last thing Kyle expects is for you to fall into step beside him—with the impression of your personality he'd gathered, it shouldn't be a surprise—, only lagging a half-step behind, a grin obvious under your mask.

His brain short-circuits, but Kyle quickly recovers, keeping his focus locked straight ahead and decidedly not looking at you. Not for any reason in particular.

“Sergeant,” You drawl—and, fuck, it was just a rank, a title, several others held the same one. So why the hell did it feel so different when you said it?

“Got somethin’ on your mind-” Kyle begins casually, as if his heart wasn't doing literal jumping jacks in his ribcage right now. And it takes him a brief moment to remember what he was supposed to call you, wracking his brain for answers, before he finishes with a bland, “0-9?”

God, he hoped that was the right number. There were five of you, all these numbers were going to be a struggle to keep up with.

“Oh, none ‘a that.” You say with a soft chuckle, waving him off. “I know those digits can get a bit confusing. Call me Viper, that's what everyone else calls me anyway.”

Viper? Like a fucking snake? Not that Kyle had any room to judge; not when two of his teammates were a cleaning product and a Hot Topic employee.

Shite, that probably also meant you wanted him to extend the same damn olive branch. Kyle considered himself a pretty social man, he could hold his own in a group, could approach strangers with almost the same confidence he did with friends.

But there was something about you.

And Kyle wasn't sure if it was good or not.

“A’right, Viper,” Kyle doesn't remember swiping his keycard, but he does jump right back into his body when his hand curls around the handle, pulling the door open and letting you in first before letting your comrades struggle with the heavy door after him. Taking his place just that half a step in front of you once more. “They call me Gaz.”

“There a story behind that one?” You ask, not a single ounce of hesitation or delay.

“That depends, there one behind yours?” Kyle quips right back, not missing a beat.

Kyle's ears pick up the tiniest huff you let out, but nothing else. “That depends,” you mimic. “how much you wanna know?”

“Whatever you'll give me.” It was easy to lay the charm on thick, but it seemed almost like a competition between you two, as you quickly fired back.

“Desperate, are we, Sergeant?” Kyle could've swore you just, honest to God, purred when you said that. But he must've just been hearing things.

“Just curious.” You had asked first. How had this turned on him?

“Mm, think I'll just leave ya guessing.” You muse, closing that half-step distance to just barely brush your arm up against his, and then back to your place again. “It'll be more fun that way.”

Kyle nearly forgets there's four other people witnessing this conversation right then.

Finally alone again, and having gotten the new squad settled in properly, Kyle takes a moment for himself.

As of right now apparently his fellow sergeant and good ‘ol lieutenant were currently taking a tour around Mexico, and Price was out doing very important Captain-things, so Kyle was entirely on his own.

On his own to deal with whatever the fuck that dumpsterfire of a base tour that had been.

He'd been entirely sidetracked by you the whole time! It didn't make any sense, what did you have that the other soldiers didn't?

You all wore the same uniform, all bore the same random-ass numbers, all were just a bunch of trained killers- there was literally nothing to set you apart!

A lot of people were touchy by nature, especially in professions like this that were built on comradery, Soap certainly was, so there was no reason in the deepest parts of hell for why-

Kyle groans softly to himself, running a hand over his hair before pushing himself up and off his desk chair.

There was no rhyme or reason to it, to why he, in the most cheesy fucking way, honestly felt a goddamn spark when you touched him.

And it wasn't even in the realm of- of intimate. It was a simple brush against him here and there, made perfect sense too! You'd been standing so close the entire time- it was only expected that once and a while you two would graze each other now and again.

He's pacing now, wishing nothing more than to be able to pick up his phone and call the only man who'd be able to help him make sense of all these weird feelings. And also the only man who'd call him daft and his brother in the same sentence.

But he can't do that, so Kyle resigned to simply doing what he should've done in the first place after his furious scrub down in the shower; take a damn nap.

Kyle's first impression of your personality had been wildly off-mark.

If he was going off of how he'd first perceived you last week on the tarmac, he would say that you were easygoing, gave off a more.. laid back energy, maybe even a bit quick-witted.

But his current observations said everything but that.

Kyle had been trying to skirt past all the tired, bleary-eyed soldiers that passed him in the hall without being noticed by the more lively of the bunch; he didn't have the energy for that right now. The last few had nearly flown by him though, wide-eyed and clearly spooked.

Confused, Kyle had brushed it off and continued walking. Sometimes these men were like wild horses, alerted by the smallest mishaps.

Kyle becomes keenly aware of exactly why those last stragglers had appeared so frightened when he turns down the next corner, on his way to the rec room, when he spots you.

Or, more accurately, spots you tearing one of your own soldiers a new one in the empty corridor. The very self-explanatory as to why, isolated corridor.

He gets the gist of it fairly quickly, even as the words flying out of your mouth go in one ear and out the other without a hint of recognition.

The shorter man had obviously fucked something up, and was now hearing it in all the jumbled mix of curses and slang Kyle couldn't even begin to comprehend.

“An' if I eva’ ‘ear ya sayin' shit like that again I'll ‘ave ya scrapin’ shit out the muck from the break ‘a dawn ‘n ‘til the damn cows come home, ya hear?” You spit, masked face mere centimeters away from the other's. A gloved hand fisted in 1-5’s, if he remembered correctly, shirt collar, making him have to nearly raise to the toe of his boots in order to not be choked by the fabric.

There's a venomous flare in your eyes when you snap to look at him, a misstep on his part alerting you, and Kyle has never felt more conflicted in his life.

“Everything good here, Viper?” Obviously not, but what else was he supposed to say?

“Just peachy.” You grit out, fingers slowly unfurling from 1-5’s shirt. In turn the poor man is able to lower himself back onto the ground fully, letting out an obvious breath of relief when your hand pulls back completely, falling clenched at your side.

The brave soul who had somehow triggered the brunt of your aggression manages to stand there a little longer until you huff out a gruff, “dismissed.” And send 1-5 on his way.

Though not before barking out a, “And be sure ‘ta relay the message ‘ta Pierce!” As the man scurries away, a quick “yes, sir!” choked out over his shoulder.

“And if I asked what that was about?” Kyle asks when 1-5 is out of sight, raising a curious eyebrow.

“I'd say it ain't yer business, Garrick.” You snap, still obviously not having gotten the frustration out of your system. Kyle's first instinct is to throw another quip right back at you, extra sarcasm on top like it's sprinkles and he's making a damn sundae, and he almost does, but Kyle quickly slams his mouth back shut before the words escape.

Instead he sighs and relaxes his posture.

“Y’look like shit.”

That seems to put a halt to whatever was rampaging through your head, the rage clearing for a moment to make room for shock first, then confusion.

“..what?” Your clearly puzzled gaze—so expressive, even with the mask—would be humorous, if not for the truth to Kyle's words.

You did look like shit. Like someone had run a train on you—literally. A real one; honk honk, rattle rattle and all. Your hair ruffled, matted with some unknown substance and sticking up in every which direction. The black paint around your eyes was smudged away and exposed your true skin tone, well.. kinda. Now with the additional flavor of mud and debris.

Even with the limited access he had to your face, Kyle would say you looked.. tired. Run ragged—maybe that train wasn't all that metaphorical. Beneath the anger it was clear as day you were just exhausted; you looked nothing like that first day he'd met you, when he had shown you around base.

Hidden grin and playful banter replaced with a stiff posture and veiled limp—yeah, he definitely noticed that part. You weren't the only observant one here.

“I said you look like shit, mate.” Kyle says. His clarification doesn't, well, clear anything up for you, if anything just frustrating you further. Making your eyebrows furrow in a way that's almost cute.

You huff, posture straightening even though Kyle can see the way the new position puts a strain on your worn body- he doesn't mention it. It's not his place.

“Thanks.” You reply, voice flat.

“It was a compliment.” It wasn't.

Deadpan, “really?”

“Mhm.” But Kyle stays firm in his resolve.

“I aim to please.”

“Clearly.” And there it is. Kyle can't see it, obviously, but the small twitch of your features, the slightest crinkle at the corner of your eye, tells him he has succeeded. Even if it's not your usual smile—not that he would know what that looked like.

Another puff of air from you, closer to a sigh this time. “Did you need somethin', Gaz?”

The heat is gone, but Kyle can see the way the embers linger; ready to reignite at the first spark.

“How ‘bout we take a walk, mh?” He wasn't planning on a walk, really, but Kyle wasn't actively planning against one either. “Clear your head a bit?”

You look like you want to brush him off, hesitating like you want to say no and rush off just like your subordinate had. But you don't. “..sure.”

And that's all Kyle needs to tilt his head in the direction he came from before turning around.

Kyle doesn't have to look back to know you've taken your place the position on his left, half a step behind him. Just as you had that first day.

It becomes a sort of.. routine.. after that. And while Kyle hadn't seen much of you that first week, you make an appearance by his side—always on the left, always half a step behind—more often than not.

A little spark of some unidentifiable emotion lighting up in your eyes when you see him. Kyle isn't quite certain what it means, but if it meant he got to see you more often, he was fine with not knowing.

You were.. friends. Or as much as you could be in this situation, one Kyle knew was temporary. Which had the man trying to heed Ghost's advice for once and not get attached; there was no telling when either of you would be shipped out again, never to return.

“Gaz!” The sound of your voice is unmistakable when shouted over the noisy chatter of the cafeteria, and Kyle's heart definitely does not do a weird flip when he hears it. Definitely not.

Yeah, so he may or may not be struggling with the whole following Ghost's advice thing. Hey! He said he was trying, not that it was actively working.

“Viper.” Kyle greets when you take a seat in front of him. Usually he would have lunch with his dear captain, but Price was even more busy as of late—and reasonably so—and the lack of that familiar presence was really starting to wear on him. Made the lack of another pair of comrades much more prominent.

“Did you know your bellybutton is actually attached to your bladder-”

You filled in that empty space a little.

“What? I thought it was just cut off from everything else?”

Kyle never did find out what had you so down in the dumps, but it wasn't his place to know anyway. Everyone had their secrets.

“No! There's a lil' line that travels from your bellybutton down to your bladder. That's why it feels so damn weird when touched-”

You were a little spitfire. Reminded him of Soap, kinda. Except Soap didn't flip flop from fiery rage one moment to calm and collected the next, buttery smooth words dripping with innuendo.

And then there was right now, where you shared the strangest little factoids with Kyle.

“And don't even get me started on the dormant blood vessel in your liver-”

And that is where Kyle drew the line.

“Nope, nope, nope-” Kyle says, waving a fork in your general direction. Amused when you gasp in surprise, as if he's threatening you with something more substantial than this flimsy plastic. “I am eating. I don't wanna hear gross facts about my anatomy.”

“Would you prefer a physical demonstration on anatomy instead?”

And that was the weird innuendos he mentioned before. Sure, Soap and him shared a few playful taunts now and again, occasionally the rest of the team would chime in—and there was whatever the hell Soap and Ghost had going on, but Kyle didn't think those were all jokes. But this felt.. different.

“You are a menace, you know that?” Kyle huffs, twirling some bland mush around the fear-inspiring fork from before; now that he wasn't actively threatening you with it.

A dramatic gasp, and Kyle doesn't even have to look up to know you look just as dramatized as you sound.

“I am a damn saint, Gaz!”

“Rigghhhht, is that what we're calling this?” He does look up this time, and the slight widening of your eyes, the little glimmer of something hiding in those captivating hues, makes him glad he did. Pocketing that adorable priceless look on your face for safekeeping.

“I've got the body, the attitude,” you count with both hands, a finger for each listed item. Gaze on something vaguely to your right as you think. “And the charm! That's like- the fuckin' holy trinity. I'm a damn holy temple, I tell ya!”

“Sure you are, mate.” Kyle says, a small grin on his face that he couldn't get rid of even if he wanted to. It does make eating a little difficult though.

He tries not to linger on the fact that you never eat in front of him. But you always come to hang out with him anyway.

Things are good between you two, and Kyle feels warm and giddy every time you grace him with your, as you'd once put it, saintly presence. He doesn't ponder much as to the why he feels this way; not that it really matters, this was temporary and you'd be shipped off somewhere else eventually.

That space to his left feels cold when you're not there, empty, and even though he's never worked with you in the field, Kyle finds himself looking back, expecting you to be there when he crawls through tall grass and mud in that suffocating ghillie suit.

It's dumb and Kyle doesn't know why he does it, but he half expects you to chip in a word or two over his shoulder in the midst of his playful banter with Price and Laswell. When he is, once again, pushing through tall grass. Only this time he gets to snipe a few dozen unsuspecting soldiers from hundreds of meters away.

Things are going well, so damn well, almost too good to be true. And it is.

Kyle would have never expected to hear such raw panic in his captain's voice, accustomed to the man's usual gruff and composed behavior. It strikes fear right into Kyle's core, cutting through his chest and piercing directly into the sergeant's heart.

In the beginning, Kyle had been eager to get this over with and fly back to base with the expectation of seeing you again; now that idea was nothing but a passive thought as his mind was clouded with a worry mirroring Price's.

Kyle's entire torso feels like it's been ripped to shreds when they touch down on base again, every step shooting sparks of pain through his nerves and reminding him why he hates heights so damn much. But at least they managed to get Laswell back before anything could go terribly wrong. They had Farah and her soldiers to thank for that.

Wanting nothing more than to soak himself in a tub of scalding hot water, and knowing he'll have to settle for a lukewarm shower instead, then sleep the pain away, Kyle's path is interrupted by the sight of you marching down the corridor.

“Gaz! Shit- there you are!” You call when a few paces away from him, a sort of relief obvious in your breathy tone. You come to an abrupt halt right in front of him, blocking Kyle's way and causing him to come to a sudden stop lest he accidentally crash into you.

Your eyes are analytical and Kyle is far too exhausted to decipher the several layers of emotion that flash through your gaze.

In the end you seem to come to some sort of conclusion, stating a flat, “Y’look like shit.”

“Yeah,” Kyle huffs out a surprised laugh; the phrase reminiscent of when he'd caught you chewing out one of your soldiers. “Falling out of a helicopter doesn't usually make for a pretty sight.”

“Fuckin'- pardon!?” Your eyes go wide, and Kyle would bet your mouth was hanging open right now too. “How the hell did that even happen?”

Kyle couldn't reveal too much of their little rendezvous in Urzikstan, but he could tell you the gist of it. Namely how the fuck he got tossed out of Nikolai's helicopter like a damn ragdoll.

“Was helping out a friend,” car hopping and trying not to get shot at in the process. “Got a bit tossed around, you know how it is- RPG, couldn't deploy countermeasures in time..”

“Luckily I got the rope latched in time, shit hurt the most when the rope ran out.” Kyle's hip bones ache at the memory, and he knows for certain his body will be one giant bruise in the morning.

“Are- are you okay-?” You stammer, gaze no longer on him and now flicking over his dirtied uniform. Never lingering on one spot.

“I'll bounce back soon eno-” Your hands reach out then, as if wanting to touch him and make sure for yourself. Kyle cuts off mid sentence, eyes widening by a fraction and body going stiff.

As if just realizing what you were doing, your hands pause where they are, hovering awkwardly between the two of you. Your gloves and his own gear serve as a thick barrier between your bodies, but Kyle swears there is an energy buzzing there; an electric static thriving in the air between you both, the tension near suffocating.

“I'm just gonna..” it takes Kyle a second to realize you've fully retracted your hands by now, a stale awkwardness lingering between you two.

Kyle isn't sure whether to feel disappointed or be appalled by how much he wished you had touched him. Between the fluctuating altitudes he'd endured and the full body ache he was currently experiencing, Kyle comes to the conclusion that it must just be the exhaustion finally kicking in. Yes, of course. That is why he was mourning the loss of something that hadn't even happened. There was no other possible reason.

Clearing his throat with a stilted cough, Kyle nods. “Y-yeah, definitely. And I should take that shower..”

“Of course, yeah-” Your gaze is downcast now, arms tucked behind your back and Kyle notes the nervous shift of your weight from one foot to the other. “You- you do that.”

“Yeah.” And then Kyle hightails his ass out of there, it's a little awkward—who is he kidding, it's beyond awkward. And how many times was he going to say awkward, would any other synonyms suffice? You had been standing in front of him, so Kyle has to do a weird little hop to the side to get around you- which then triggers you into motion. And you step to the side to get out of his way.

Only the direction your subconscious chooses is once again right in his path and Kyle stumbles over his own feet, barely avoiding colliding with you but pulling on his sore muscles in a way that has him digging his teeth into his lip to avoid letting out a sharp yelp.

When Kyle regains his balance, the hallway is empty and you're nowhere to be found. With a deep sigh, and a heavier weight on his shoulders than before, Kyle straightens back up and continues on his way to his initial destination.

There better be some warm water left when he gets there.

As it turned out, falling out of a helicopter and just barely surviving by sheer luck did actually have its drawbacks and one couldn't just walk away with a few scrapes and expect to be a-okay in the ol’ nob up top.

For Kyle that meant various scenes playing out in his dreams of what could have happened, not what did. Ranging from him not having clipped the hook onto his gear right, to the rope just snapping in half the minute Kyle reached the end of the line. Even some where he just straight up splat into the back of one of the many trucks that had been flying by. The worst had to be when the helo was hit dead on and Kyle wasn't even given the chance to make things right, bleeding out and dying right then and there in the cabin of Nikolai's helicopter.

Waking up drenched in a cold sweat wasn't anything new to the sergeant, but waking up alone, as of late, was. Usually he was bunked up with Soap, and when not on base, or stationed on another, he was grouped up with other soldiers.

Being forced into the waking world with his heart lodged in his throat and beating so fast it was practically trying to escape, with the aches and bruises that made the nightmares all that more real, and being stuck inside a dark, empty room? Now that just wasn't pleasant at all.

Pushing through the stabbing aches radiating throughout his body, Kyle forces himself to stand, haphazardly throws on an old hoodie and decides right then and there he needs a cup of tea. Extra steamy.

The walk to the common room, and subsequently the kitchenette beyond that, is short and Kyle doesn't have to think about it when he places one foot in front of the other. His legs easily carried him to his destination without the need for any extra brainpower.

Kyle doesn't notice the looming figure in the dark, obscured by shadow in the corner of the rec room, until he's already got a burning hot mug between his hands. Passing back through now that he's got his tea, he's graciously welcomed back by a lamp in the corner flicking on.

He blames the high-pitched squeal that rips from his throat on his exhaustion and not that he'd been spooked by a fucking light of all things.

“Viper- shit,” He breathes, the hand not currently cradling the mug flying up to clutch at his heart.

“Sorry.” You murmur, sounding a bit sheepish. Your voice is a little deeper than usual and Kyle assumes you must've also woken up recently. He opts to ignore the small flutters that erupt in his stomach at the sound. “Couldn't sleep. Didn't think anyone else would be out ‘ere, wasn't tryna startle ya.”

Kyle moves to wave off your concern, only to wince at the strain it puts on his sore muscles, sucking in a sharp breath between his teeth.

You, ever the observant bastard, immediately zero in on his discomfort, one of your eyebrows quirking upward as you study him.

“Alright?”

Not trusting his voice, Kyle hums a noncommittal sound, and, trying to appear at least a little put together, straightens his posture and steps forward.

But the pain is worse now and he nearly spills his tea, instinctively tightening his grip around the steamy mug.

Fuck, Kyle had known it would hurt—Christ’s sake, he had literally fallen out of a damn helicopter—but he had obviously severely underestimated how bad it would be. Now, he was used to pain, you didn't get very far in this line of work without at the very least some tolerance for the aches and burns.

But this? This was a pain that went from an average sort of soreness in the muscles of his thighs, to sharp stabbing pains in his hips and a near debilitating throbbing ache that spanned over practically his entire torso.

Everything hurts. Laying down hurts. Standing hurts. Sitting hurts. Everything. Unless he stayed completely still, Kyle's entire body felt like one giant bruise. Any little twitch of a muscle sent a stabbing shock straight to his nervous system.

You're on your feet and standing in front of him before Kyle even has a chance to right himself again. When had his breathing become so labored?

There's no hesitation this time around, no awkwardness when your hands shoot out. Grasping his shoulders, your hold gentle yet firm, and stabilizing Kyle where he stood.

Kyle isn't quite sure when it had happened, but the warmth of his mug was gone. Replaced by the heat of your own body from where his hands rested—really, more or less hanging on for dear life; he'd be ashamed if he had the wherewithal to do so—on your waist. Fingers curled tight, twisted and snagged into the fabric of your shirt.

If Kyle hadn't been so out of it from the sheer amount of pain he was in, he would've noticed your lack of uniform. More dressed down than he'd ever seen you—though a mask still firmly in place, he would've noticed if it were otherwise.

“Did anyone check you out when you came back?” Kyle has to actively work to zone back in on the rough timber of your voice, his mind sluggish as it works through each word and syllable.

“Y- kinda? I wasn't bleeding out or nothing.”

“Oh, fuck's sake-” you let out a heavy exhale, and Kyle, though as disorientated as he currently is, can here the unsaid you’re a goddamn idiot clear as day in that singular breath.

“Alright. You're comin' with me.”

“Wh- huh?”

“With me. No questions, Garrick.” You hold no authority over him, if anything, this being his base, and not yours, Kyle had a bit more of a say in matters than you did. And yet, when you release your hold and untangle yourself from his, Kyle follows.

There is nothing stopping you from touching him now. Not since last night.

Kyle can still feel your hands, strong and yet so, so unbelievably delicate, running across his skin. Scouring his abdomen for anything that would clue you in on whether he had internal bleeding or not, pressing down on his bruised rib cage, checking for breaks in the fragile bone.

Thankfully, you find nothing but the bruising painted clearly on his skin, and Kyle can't get the picture, the feel, of your hands brushing over his stomach. Up his sides and down to his hips, further still to his aching thighs. The latter had been over his clothes, but the heat of your palms had been more than enough.

The following day, and practically every waking second now, Kyle's mind and eyes were on you. If he couldn't see you, he was thinking about you. And if he could see you, you were usually at his side. A hand on his shoulder, an elbow nudging his arm.

Kyle now found himself in an odd state of yearning. His body craved your touch in a way it never had for any other's. His heart skipped a couple beats every time he even caught sight of you.

And when you touched him? Shit, Kyle had to hope and pray the blush he could feel warming his cheeks wasn't as visible as it felt.

Kyle wasn't quite sure why he reacted to you the way he did. And, honestly, he wasn't quite sure he wanted to. He was perfectly content not knowing—was he? Or was he just burying what he didn't want to acknowledge?

He didn't ruminate on the fact that Soap had a tendency to touch him similarly—but, shit, it was different, wasn't it?—, and never had Kyle once responded to it the way he did with you.

If Price had noticed—which he likely hadn't with what was going on halfway around the globe. Soap and Ghost stuck somewhere in Mexico, and of course the constant planning on what their next move would be. The captain didn't mention it.

If Soap was here, he'd probably call Kyle out on his bullshit. But he wasn't, and Kyle was perfectly alright with continuing to ignore the, definitely one-hundred percent platonic, convoluted emotions he felt towards you.

Things were good; the last thing Kyle wanted was to accidentally rock this delicate sailboat when he currently had unlimited access to your bubbling laugher, sarcastic quips, and crinkling eyes.

A Viper, that's what you were nicknamed after, and, with that fiery attitude of yours, Kyle was starting to understand why.

__

Masterpost | Next

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@cptg00s3 @ruthgrimxiao @20nerd04-blog @mikahrh @in-down @hauntedapplefarm @mello-life69 @unkn0wnd3ad @tayaisback @starre-eyes @gabbvr-dog @suhmie @lazyrel @spiritzofthedead @yeonpm @its-ares @k1ssesofdeath @ravagerdogz

If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know in the comments!

(also if you change ur user and still wanna be a part of the list, let me know pls)

[streamdotpng]

honestly i love how i start doing some world building for an edit that takes like 20 seconds :')

anyways.. so, yknow that poe cup fic that scorpion recommended? the one where enid had to transfer bc nevermore didn't suit esther's standards and she changes bc of the environment?

Yeah, this is my au take on it. There's omegaverse themes but they're used to categorize the roles and builds of werewolves instead of smth sexual here. I meant it when i said i was delving into the more violent themes! so do watch out for those

now, you're probably asking, tie collar? muzzle? Bracers? what're those for?

Here's the thing, wolves don't use their claws to fight. They mainly use their teeth. As said in the photo, its usual for random physical spats to appear and teachers generally don't mind as long as it was to settle an issue and isn't just a waste of air.

There must be a motive in your attack, in your violence, else you are nothing more than a rabid animal and werewolves are supposed to be better than that.

So, the collar tie? its short on purpose so it wont be taken advantaged off in fights and is generally grabbed by the leader of your assigned pack for discipline. Its tie is clipped onto the collar so you can't suffocate like one does with an actual tie (since yknow, you pull it to make it tighter)

Its also easy to remove when a fight does happen

The collars of both the collar and shirt is purposefully high to make sure that no tempted werewolf can leave a mark around the neck and deal a fatal wound. Or in the very rare occasion, force a mating bite.

It isn't shown here but to even remove the collar, you'd need to flip the collar of the shirt and unbluckle it like a belt. it sounds easy sure, but when you're in a fight, it isn't so well executed. Its made purposefully hard to remove in a short amount of time and is rather durable against claws

The bracers are made of similar material! Their main purpose is to serve as a block against any surprise attacks, like how people in the police would train their dogs to attack but have an arm brace to protect their arm

its exactly like that!

My ass forgot to mention about the muzzle but they're there for students off campus! Since normies are still bigger in population, it's rather obvious that you're from that school. To keep them (normies) calm from the sight of outcasts, werewolves are told to wear the muzzles. The muzzles well.. Muzzle is long, so that means any posturing is cut short because distance is made from both werewolves. It's also there to make sure that a provoked werewolf in public can't do much harm other than scratch

Its mostly a publicity stunt but can be a disadvantage during fights or a punishment in general.

now, onto the dynamics of this school.

Omegas are usually the medics, and there's only one in a school issued pack. Betas are your scouts, they're your surveillance and info gathers, usually very flexible in roles but not as strong. You have like two to three! Lastly we have alphas, they're the ones taking the lead and the main physical prowess. There's only one in a school issued pack.

Now, you're probably wondering wtf? school issued pack? aren't you only supposed to have a pack with people you're closed too? Yes! that is true but this is a school, a private military school and teamwork is one of main values. Life isn't comfy and you'll need to learn to adapt with your coworkers whether you like it or not. If it helps, school packs only last for a semester unless they do really well in the finals. Only then will the school give an exception for the group to form again for the next semester

Now, you're probably wondering

where tf is enid in this au and why tf is she in this school?

Esther means well. I love a good ol esther is a horrible parent but she simply sounds like she grew up with her own values and tends to enforce it bc she's the mother and obviously she knows better. its irritating yes, but she seems easily influenced to more shadier practices as long as the end goal is met (which is enid shifting)

since the goal of enid shifting has already been met and the news broke that her daughter could've died due to nevermore and jericho's negligence, esther's mind latched onto Enid's growth as a werewolf and her safety.

Like other similar parents, she pulled her kids out. But murray argued otherwise, that surely nevermore will get better but esther wasn't so sure, not when theres a literal sign that her daughter was close to death stares right at her in the face (the scar)

so they compromised! Esther pulls enid out and her brothers get to finish their schooling.

In her search for better suited schools to help her lowkey socially behind in werewolf customs daughter, she stumbles across Werewolf military school and enrolls enid there

Obviously enid tried to argue, she's been in nevermore since she was thirteen! you can't just pull her out, not when she finally felt right. But mother knows best and enid is shipped to go through their second semester anyways

anywaysss, enid here imprinted on wednesday during that hug and so she's lowkey going through seperation anxiety during her time apart! She really could've fit in easily, her happy desposition and the way she acts would've landed her as a very valuable healer/omega but her imprinting leaves her agitated and easily provoked. Doesn't help that she's been bottling up her aggression at home and now that she's outside and in a new place...

well, what happens happens

because of this, she gets pegged as an alpha instead and with it comes responsibilities that enid can't ignore. Due to this, her needing to bleach her hair? ignored. Her colorful clothing? shoved to the side in favor for the uniform and the fact that with how physical the school is, she needs something more durable

overall, being an alpha is stressful and the fact that she's so far away from wednesday makes it worse (even if she doesn't know)

She goes through the school year in a daze, gains a reputation that she's too busy to acknowledge and finishes it with an aching in her lungs and new scars stinging along her body. She expect the same thing to happen for the new school year but something is different, there's news about an event and it has enid blinking

an.. international event? about outcast schools gathering for a tournament in the name of sportsmanship and connections

When she pushes herself to the front, for the first time in nearly a year, Enid Sinclair smiles

why? because in one of the schools listed to participate, Nevermore stands right with them

and with nevermore, comes the one Wednesday Addams that she's been longing for

-

also funfact! since this werewolf military school values privacy and exclusivity, no one is allowed to have their phone or similar esque gadgets during the school year. Want to contact your parents? You have to make an appointment with the school to call through a landline phone

its just.. so disheartening when Wednesday wasn't at all replying to her messages during the semester break. Her last few messages was when she complained about how she couldn't go back to nevermore and when that isn't enough to have her reply...

yeah

it didn't help different school means different starting of semester so enid could barely enjoy her week before she got shipped for her second semester

Enid has reached out to yoko, but the vampire has mentioned going off the grid due to a family vacation and she didn't want to bother her bestie with her distress. She's sure she's lowkey overreacting anyways, like it sucks to move schools but surely they could still keep in touch?

and honestly! enid thought she could've given her vampire friend updates during the school but then her phone gets confiscated and she gets swepted up with the rising stress and values of this school and-

yeah, she's been so busy that she forgot

its just this strict routine of waking up at this early time and getting back at this late time

the only reason wednesday couldn't leave her mind is the imprinting and the feeling of being abandoned and how little their friendship must've been for her not to reply. But then Enid smacks herself bc ofcourse not! there's no way, wednesday just sucked at using a phone is all

..right?

oh whatever, its hard to think much when theres a fist going towards her face anyways

aight okay, thats all my rambles for today! do tell me if youre interested bc this has been simmering in my head since this morning

[jovenshires]

AO3 Wrapped for Writers 2023

no one tagged me, i just wanted to do this so i found a format and added to it a little bit. anybody who wants to do this is welcome to say i tagged them <3<3<3 or don't just do it bc its fun and silly <3<3<3

EDIT: i saw like yesterday (days after i drafted this) that @lilac-hecox did this first so MAJOR credit to lilac for doing it first!!

Works Published: 12

Word Count: 144,428

Hits: 7,769

Bookmarks: 111

Most Popular by Kudos: right where you left me (damien/shayne, rated teen and up, 24k words, 141 kudos)

Most Hits: the right side of my neck (still smells like you) (spencer/tommy, rated teen and up, 3k words, 1k hits)

Longest: if we keep score (spencer/tommy soccer au, rated mature, 52k words)

Shortest: he said baby (that's what he called me) (spencer/tommy, rated general audiences, 2k words)

Most Comments: right where you left me with 42 comments

Most Memorable Comment: honestly every comment i got was insanely sweet and everything to me but. i have to give it to my fave fic analyst, @wallpaper-inside-my-heart for every comment she has ever left, but especially the one about the hands. i won't post it all here but here's a snippet:

so… how long does it take katie to mention hands in each of her fics? Well, let’s get right into it 1.) the moon and the stars: first mention roughly 1k words in, handholding ensues (relatively mild stuff) total hand count : 12 2.) the right side of my neck hand mention right in the description, we are starting of strong! and only 571 words until the first hand grab! total hand count: 20, 5 of those include hand to hand contact with eachother 3.) baby, you’re a haunted house ah, I forgot that I also contributed to the hand agenda aka mentioned directly in the prompt 33 words until hand mention in the fic!! your personal record, I believe <3 in total 19 hand mentions, 8 of which directly related to hand holding 😹💕 4.) baby, that’s what he called me 927 words until the first hand mention, I would say you are holding back again; but it does include tommy soothing spencer so only 8 hand mentions?? however most of them include skin contact and comfort so… my point still stands 5.) they lost their minds 442 words until first hand mention, we are getting lower again! 16 hand mentions, half of which include skin contact 🫶 6.) i could be the reason 824 words until amengela get their first hand mention! 15 hand mentions, 6 of which include contact! definitely much less hand focused than your prior fics, but it’s still there! 7.) ‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours I mean… it’s literally in the title this time 😹 it does take almost 2222 words until the first actual hand mention; however, it is once again the initiation of hand-holding! said handholding makes up 80% of the hand mentions in this fic, with the remaining two including skin contact as well 8.) rwylm I open this fic, search for “hand” and then just stare at that 58 for a little while 😹😹💕 now it does take 914 words until the first one is mentioned and upon further inspection, the lack of physical contact in those hand mention reflects the loneliness Shayne feels in this fic so well! tho I love that a couple of them are ppl reaching out to Shayne as comfort! 🥹 and then the 9 hand touches initiated by Damien + the single one by Shayne!! → feeling slightly insane about this rn 💜 9.) sunflower 384 words until hands make their first appearance! 26 hand mentions; out of those only 5 of those include direct contact between our heroes, which feels very fitting for a secret identity fic! <3 10.) domo katie… idk how to tell you this… but there are 70 hand mentions in this (53, excluding verbs that contain the word, etc.) and you know full well that the first one makes an appearance in the second sentence of this (absolutely amazing) fanfic now how many of those mentions are spencer just thinking about tommy’s hands, you may ask? 30 mentions or rather 57% of the total count! → the last mention is literally even more HEARTBREAKING in this context!!, I feel the need to underline that again!

Fic that made me cry: oh.... right where you left me AND dancing on my own (spencer/tommy, rated teen and up, 21k words)

Fic that made me smile: sunflower (spencer/tommy spiderman au, rated teen and up, 12k words) got some good chuckles outta me!

Main character I wrote: spencer agnew (9 works) followed by tommy bowe (8 works) and shayne topp (6 works)

Top tropes: first kiss (6 works), established relationship (4 works), and pining (4 works)

Gifts: blue christmas for nat and we can leave the christmas lights up 'til january for stella (technically baby, you're a haunted house was Also for stella though i didn't know it at the time xoxo)

Collaborations: none this year..... maybe 2024? haha jk.............. unless?

Events: also none this year. maybe ill organize an event in 2024. once again haha jk...................................... unless?

thank you for coming along on my fic renaissance!! see you next year,,,, ive got BIG things planned <3<3<3

[myheartalivewrites]

Fic Rec Friday

Thanks for tagging me @14carrotghoul! 🧡 Since I'm late already, I'm saving this for Friday and turning it back into a Fic Rec Friday post. The theme was:

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

I like a chance to share some of my stuff, so here we go:

Most hits: Down by the Water, I Saw You - this is my top fic for many of the categories, which I think is the case for most people's long fics. I do love this a lot, it's quite an angsty (and smutty) story of Henry and Alex as exes, finding each other again and getting over past hurts to be together. There's holidays (vacations, sorry America) and beautiful scenery, teen romance and adult love, and the epilogue goes deep into their future, and it truly holds my heart.

Most kudos: Have One (On Me) - this is a ~10k one shot starring Henry as a bartender and Alex as a patron who's desperately into him. I really like the banter in this, and there's a good bit of stuff with June and Nora that I think is really fun. There's a (very fundamental) misunderstanding, sexy dancing and lots of pining too (always, always be pining.) It still surprises me that this has the most kudos out of all my fics, not because I don't like it, but simply because I often wonder at what special kind of alchemy has to happen to make something pull in the most kudos.

Most comments: if I'm being strict, it's Down by the Water again (bc multi chaps, etc), so instead I'll highlight this one: Tumbled Down and Tangled Up. It got the most overnight comments of all my fics and people seemed to really like it! It's a take on canon where Alex and Henry hook-up in the hospital closet scene from early on in the book. It was really fun to write, and I still like to go back and re-read from time to time.

Most bookmarks: Pumped - ok, this is actually third place, but i've already mentioned the top two. This is my climbing AU and it's the first thing I ever wrote for firstprince and the first thing I published on ao3. It holds a special place in my heart, just two silly boys, falling in love and not knowing how to talk to each other - until they do.

Most words: listen, the system's completely broken down at this point, categories don't make sense anymore. Happy NY is only third by word count, but I think it's my favourite of all my fics, so I wanted to put it in here! It's a New Year's Eve story, a missed connection with plenty of angst and definitely smut. It's a similar vibe to Down by the Water bc I wrote it in the middle of finishing it up, and I think of them as sister fics. It just gives me all the feels.

Least words: well, well, what is even left at this point? I only have 9 fics on ao3! I'm going with Don't Want to be a Fool for You which is my most recent fic and pretty short (for me) at around 6k. It's a roommates story where Henry pines desperately, and they are definitely shit at talking to each other, but then sex ensues.

I've had fun talking over all my fics, now time to get back to my wip! Happy reading!

EDIT: forgot to tag! Anyone who hasn’t done this yet? @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @celeritas2997 @stutteringpeach ? I’ve lost track!

[bitchlessdino]

I read the fic in question a long time ago (and I’m not related to any of the stuff happening over yonder) and admittedly, it did make me REALLY uncomfortable and I did Not feel like I knew what I was getting into when I read the tags. I had it saved for a while because I thought there would be more idk hijinks? I think “mentions” is too light of a warning considering it is the major theme. The way y/n talked, the way hoshi talked, it constantly pulled me out of the story.

I did appreciate the reunion scenes and I felt like that was realistic. But overall there was SO much value tied to being skinny throughout the whole fic without criticism towards that idea. That’s what made it feel really fatphobic rather than an exploration of the theme.

I think there's improvement that can be made and the main step would be to have more adequate warnings.

Long answer

I’m really grateful you told me this and I definitely agree that the warnings for probably a little too light even for my taste right now considering this was posted in pretty much over a year ago and I said I’d edit (I didn’t bc I forgot ha). And that’s no excuse. I have no excuses. I am deeply flawed as a person and a writer and I’m trying to better myself every day and there’s no way I can take back what I said or wrote even if I completely deleted it which would be cowardly of me.

If there are any more of these types of concerns, I would want to hear them. If I am hurting you directly or indirectly, please let me know. Intentional or not I did hurt someone and I am very appreciative that I’ve been called out for a very specific things because that’s better than not knowing understanding at all what’s going on. My blog it’s not just a safe space for me, but for all kinds of people who come across.

Again, I do apologize for how lighthearted the warnings and tags may have seen. I should’ve emphasized it a bit more seeing the effect it has. I try to take all kinds of constructive criticisms impartially as I can and implement that a bit more into my content.

[punemy-spotted]

choosing questions was hard bc i feel like we've talked abt everything before 🤔

Post a snippet from a wip.

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

No i had the same problem i tried so hard I love youuuuuu

To the surprise of literally no one, I rambled, so all of this is going to be under a cut for the sake of everyone's dashboard.

Content Warnings for the Snippet: Discussion of death, Religious characters, Mention of Religion in a Small Town, Religious Control/Corporate Control, AGGRESSIVELY PRO-UNION OPINIONS

Want some more? Here's the fanfiction writing asks!

Post a snippet from a wip.

There’s a whole different kinda worship that comes from strangers sittin’ ‘round a table breakin’ bread an’ formin’ bonds. You knew it from your daddy’s own congregation an’ those Sunday suppers your momma arranged each week. You know it now from the warm surety of Curtis Everett’s hand on yours, keepin’ you from losin’ your footin’ on that trick step you ain’t had time to fix — bet you I can get Ed to take care of that  tomorrow — and the sound of hurried conversation bubblin’ outta your front parlor, house still buzzin’ with life. Shit, Curtis’s swearing nearly startles you outta your skin all over again as you both stand on the front porch, stompin’ the day’s coal dust off your shoes, forgot there was a meeting tonight. Foreman’s gonna have words for me, no doubt. Meeting is a cute word for it — s’the way things go, get the lonely and the friendless to start airin’ grievances an’ suddenly they ain’t so lonely nor so friendless anymore. A man with a wife an’ children might think twice about givin’ the company a reason to tear away the roof over his family’s head, divin’ into his future tomb day after day, respirator an’ headlamp in hand, but a man with nothin’ to lose is a man with a bone to pick with the only industry in town capable of puttin’ food in his belly on a daily basis — so long as he survived to see his next meal. Unions, you got used to hearin’ back in your own Holler, are the Lord’s way of puttin’ His protection back into a man’s own hands. Too bad them folks at P&R’d forgotten that sorta conventional wisdom. You’re allowed t’be late, for walkin’ me home, you tell him, letting the light of the house illuminate your smile as you open the front door.

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

I feel like this always changes depending on my mood. I still love sitting at my desk with my laptop on a riser so that I'm not completely killing my back with bad posture. Using my mechanical keyboard to write makes me so happy, and I can really only do that on my desk if I want to be nice to my already repeatedly injured wrists — thanks, crocheting. Plus, since I tend to edit by handwriting, it means I'm not hunched over my notebook and re-herniating my spine.

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Oh man. Uh. Nothing? Maybe the character development, even though I know I have a slightly unconventional way of writing Reader-inserts. I really really get passionate about making my Reader-inserts feel like real people, like they would actively be a part of and have a hand in the growth of the world that they live in. Even my oneshots, I've written out pages and pages of backstory about why the Reader is doing what she's doing, what brought her to where she is now. Do I ever really expect to be able to explore it? No, but that's not the point. The point is that they are real to me, and I always want the people reading my fics to feel like they have become someone while reading the story. I want you to feel immersed. Transported.

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Uhhhhh. Everything? Dialogue, probably, but also smut. I have no idea how to write smut. I'm not joking or being like... humble about it either, everything I write when it comes to smut always feels very... clinical to me — am I a narrator of a nature documentary? I'm definitely working on that.

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

NOTHING BLEEEEHHHHH MY WRITING IS BAD AND I SHOULD FEEL BAD AAAAAAAA—fine, fine uhhhh... I'm gonna say it's probably just the fact that I'm still doing it, honestly. Writing is hard, y'all. Writing for fun when it's something I'm supposed to spend my whole career doing as a lawyer is a choice and it's not an easy one to make, but I'm still here. Slow, sad, a little crispy on the edges, but here. Support your local writer, y'all, cuz we're going through it.

[aftism-inc]

fanfic beta wanted!!

hiiiiiii! So I'm currently writing a spidersona/oc fanfic for the spiderverse movies. I'll list everything rn:

Title: It's a bird, It's a plane! No dude, it's Spider-Sprite! on ao3 under the user iyredism. If you're interested please check it out!

It's teen bc there's gonna be some stuff I plan on adding that doesn't fit into the gen category

No major content warnings as of right now, but I do plan on adding things in the future (iA)

It's mostly ocs, with Spidey and some villain reworks in there.

Uhhhhh I genuinely haven't a clue how long this fic will be. I'm just here for the ride man

There's no deadline for me to finish the fic, and I have no set schedule. I try to update monthly or bi-monthly if I can

The help I really want/am looking for is basically someone to help basic editing wise but also be willing to brainstorm & help me with plot holes and etc.

I'm gonna be so honest right now. I'm six chapters in, working on the seventh rn and I hope that isn't too much of an issue for anyone interested!

Dms are open to those interested. Thank you again!! :)

(forgot to mention but 15+ please!)

[pandoa]

OMG CHERRY YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL YOU ACTUALLY DID IT 😭😭 AFTER ONE MENTION IN MY TAGS YOU WROTE IT I ADORE YOU <33

I ACTUALLY STARTED GIGGLING AND JUMPING AROUND FANGIRLING WHEN I SAW YOU POSTED LMAO I’M SO HAPPY IT FEELS LIKE CHRISTMAS AGAIN HAHA

now onto some (very calm) commentary lol

i won’t lie, i got a little concerned when i saw the synopsis and your mention of the Philippine dish 💀 part of me was worried lilia was going to cook and that set alarms in my mind lmaoo but now that i finished reading, i know why you asked me for my favorite food lolol

like lilia, dear, it’s okay i can cook for all of us <3

ANYWAYS

THE RIVALRY, THE TENSION, THE FIGHT FOR ONE’S LOVE ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE FIC

I LOVE IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART. THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I SWOONED. IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. it was fun imagining their outfits lol especially when it felt like i was staring at two drastically different styles i adore and switch between bc i just love them both (i appreciate rook’s howl outfit btw you know just where my tastes lie cherry hehe) rook in howl’s fit K.O.’d me for sure

i literally had to stop to squeal while reading this

i can imagine this all going down with the classic “love rivals interacting with added lightning bolt effects for comedic tension” that they always include in shojo manga lol

and ah, yes… calming down the sight of two men fighting with food. very smart move, reader LMAO I’D LOVE TO HEAR BOTH OF THEIR PERFORMANCES TOO AAAA

just as long as no one injures themselves while (or after) they perform 💀

edit: i forgot to say this when i first read it because i was so excited, but the addition of the pancit canton made me feel so comfy inside <333 once you started describing it, i could feel myself already craving it lmao, and it was nice to have something so familiar to me in a fic- it felt like home c:

Bat-Hunter | Rook Hunt & Lilia Vanrouge

Synopsis: In which Rook and Lilia found themselves at the start of a legendary battle for the Prefect of Ramshackle's heart. The world of love triangles is awfully quiet after this exchange. Dedicated to @pandoa. You wish and you shall receive <3

Lilia Vanrouge, Rook Hunt x gender neutral reader / small scenario / fluff but mostly crack / reference to a specific Phillipines dish / 1525 words / use of “you” pronouns

Bat-Hunter: The Magnificent Showdown!

Few people throughout history — between humans and faes — could say that they had the audacity to directly antagonize the Great General Vanrouge in any sort of battle. And getting out of this sort of risk alive was a bit of luck granted to very few people, almost to none.

“But a coward hunter is not worthy to receive the title, nor to wear a hat.”

That was the Hunt family motto that Rook was so proud to carry in his heart. Such was his respect for his family tradition that this phrase was embroidered on the inside of all his hats so as to never forget his origins.

Well, maybe I’m starting a little too fast and you’re still worrying — from the comfort of Ramshackle’s upstairs window — what the hell the two guys you liked were doing on the ground floor balcony, dressed like that.

Despite everything, you suddenly shrugged to yourself and headed to the kitchen where a more urgent task needed to be fulfilled. When everything was ready, hopefully you could invite the guys in. That is, if you found one or the other intact in the end.

Because that was the feeling that their exchange of glances passed.

Lilia was dressed in his Light Music club “uniform,” as punk rock as your father had been in the eighties when he was young and phones were wired. He held his guitar close to him, as if it were the weapon of his days in the Army of Thorns. He was “total rad” — as the youngsters would say.

His friendly smile only masked the irritation of finding Rook in that place, decked out from head to toe. Usually, his presence was easy to ignore and his curiosity could be quite amusing from time to time.

But he knew the real situation they were in: they were equals in rivalry for the heart of Ramshackle’s Prefect.

Knights in a duel for love!

Rook, in his own instance, wore a pair of belted trousers and a loose white blouse — located in the common vocabulary as a “pirate blouse” — with the strange addition of a large pink coat over his shoulders, sewn by hand and with some patterns of blue rhombuses. With his hat in hand, he looked like a book character.

His expression was equally gentle but it carried a certain pang of defiance, like a hunter who meets another while hunting.

“You look very beauté this afternoon, Monsieur Curiosité!,” Rook praised.

“How did you actually say that time? That my beauty is ‘mysterious’?,” Lilia chuckled, squinting his eyes.

“Oui, oui! But do not fret, Monsieur, today my attention is on someone else.”

“Another one? You can’t get enough of it, can you, Hunt?”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, yes. I’m tired. Tired because I’m wandering for days and nights thinking about the smile of that kind person and how I would like to cheer them up in these times of crisis!”

Crisis? Lilia didn’t quite understand. You seemed to be doing very well during all the times you met. Had he let any detail slip through the cracks?

“What kind of crisis? That is,” he bit his tongue, embarrassed that he had to ask for help from his literal rival. “If I may intrude.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. These are ear crisis! Dear Trickster has been hearing a lot of guitars being scratched lately,” the young huntsman replied, boldly.

Lilia barely broke his guitar cable — or the entire instrument at once in Rook’s head.

It was a mere provocation, no big deal. And Pomefiore’s vice, the way he was, probably appreciated each style of music in its own artistic way. But they were dealing with a battle of epic proportions and every blow counted.

Even if he were to call Lilia’s love-hard-heavy-metal demo “instrument-scratching”. But it was worth it and it showed in the way Rook’s eyes squinted in amusement.

Dealing with Diasomnia’s vice has always been an adventure in itself. That was the best part about being Lilia’s romantic rival.

Regardless of the ending, moments like this would always have a special place in Rook’s heart and he would remember it all with emotion when he went to tell your children — “the Hunt Jrs.” — the trajectory of your love.

“Why are you crying?,” suddenly Lilia inquired, confused.

“You will not be forgotten, Monsieur Curiosité! Forever and ever!,” Rook declared, wiping a tear with the sleeve of his coat. “Your memory will be carried forever in our family!”

At this the fae pulled the hunter by the collar of his shirt, staring directly into his green eyes. It was not necessary to float to come face to face with Rook, Lilia had enough dignity to impose himself the way he wanted.

And, let’s face it, making the boy — a “child” in his eyes — literally reach his level was more convenient too.

“Your particular persona has not yet turned gray to be Malleus’ breakfast because I dare, to the best of my mental faculties, find your audacity mildly amusing,” Lilia said with a grim smile cutting across his face.

“I thank you, monsieur. And I, if I may say so, find the bloody-pink in your eyes extremely beautiful,” Rook retorted, torn between fascination and a certain fear instinct that only made him feel more confident in his goals.

“Who do you think you are, hunter?”

“And who do you think I am, bat?”

That said, the two of them started laughing. Maniacally. They walked away but kept laughing, releasing all the anger and tension that could be felt in the form of simple fun between two colleagues.

Oh, they wanted to duel until death ripped them from each others hands.

Fortunately, you opened the door in time to prevent a bloodbath in your yard — after all, it would be difficult to clean it up.

“Hey, boys!,” you greeted, happy. “Wanna come in? I made pancit canton!”

Then you showed them a plate of fresh noodles, straight out of the pan, in a colorful combination of sliced pork, sausage and shrimp along with chopped carrots, cabbage, peas, onions and garlic. It smelled wonderfully good and matched your good mood. No wonder, it was your favorite food from the Philippines.

The sun was setting and it was close to dinner time. In fact, you were so excited about the process of cooking everything — from blanching vegetables to cutting meats — that the serving size tripled. Maybe being busy tidying the house didn’t help your distraction.

But with Lilia and Rook there — and Grim would be happy with extra food — you felt that little slip was worth doing it.

The smile that opened on your face descended on them like a ray of light in the midst of darkness, poetic as a fairy tale.

The animosity in the air was still palpable, however you were simply happy to have the company of your two crushes at the same time and there are times you need to take advantage of some situations.

“Prefect! I composed a song and I would like you to hear it,” Lilia stepped forward, putting the guitar in position and pulling a bombastic sound from the strings.

Your eyes widened and you couldn’t stop an admiring smile from appearing. Outside that your heart was racing just like the Light Music club speakers after a performance by Lilia. He was so cool!

“And I brought the best collection of poems on my bookshelf to recite, sweet Trickster!,” Rook didn’t lag behind and with one movement of his arm, the coat danced beautifully under his shoulders.

Another shot to the heart! As if that were not enough, the shades of the afternoon horizon harmonized perfectly with Rook’s clothes and made him an otherworldly vision, having escaped from a bedside book just to meet with you.

“You two are going to drive me crazy like this…,” you grumbled to yourself. But you did your best to stay intact.

“I just want you to bear with me 'cause I am only one,” you said. “Let’s have dinner first, okay?”

“All for you, sweet Trickster!,” Rook declared, taking your free hand and kissing it.

“A-ah! Okay?”

“What matters is your wish, Prefect,” Lilia skillfully took the plate of pancit from your other hand and also kissed it.

“B-but your guitar...!” He literally had put the instrument between his legs.

“There’s no time for questioning, magnefique apple of my eyes. Forward, my brave rival!”

“Said and done, hunter!”

You were still confused when they managed to find a way to literally drag you into the house, each holding your arms as if your weight was negligible and the situation completely normal.

It was obvious how Rook and Lilia, even if in different ways, could make you go “head over heels.” 

Well, you avoided reaching that angle when they deposited you on the couch and sat each by your sides. At least the animosity was gone and Lilia’s guitar was more securely propped up on the coffee table.

“Dinner, mes ami?,” Rook suggested. “Then a lyrical duel to the death?”

“A what...?”

“That’s fine for me,” Lilia accepted.

And so they lived happily ever after. At least until after dinner.

🦇🆚️🏹

Special Notes: It’s funny or maybe not how I can get drowned in my own work and never make any progress in months but the moment the inspiration for something strikes me as a lighting, suddenly I can pull off an entire 1525 thing in two nights straight. It’s quite simple and it goes more into comedy territory but it’s a homage for your underrated comedy skills, Pando! I still tried my best to make sure both Rook and Lilia could have their times to shine. I based most of the exchange in Lilia’s R Sports Card personal story with Rook (and just got off from that feeling). Have to say, I love a good unilateral passive-aggressive convo and they delivered <3

Now… any similarities of scenes from certain movies are completely my fault. I’m currently having a Die Hard and Kung Fu Panda brainrot, which is weird but it happened.

[wooahaes]

hii its tattoo anon again <3 i just wanted to update you i loved cheols part of uts and cheol is one of my biases and i am so in love with his part!! i found this series almost a year ago and its bittersweet now that it has ended. i am so excited to see what comes next for the poly fic and your new works in general. i also hope that u saw my last message!! also i wanted to ask because idk if i didnt realize it or missed it but did you ever reveal who gave mouse the little stuffed mouse? if im not mistaken was it jeonghan? i have been wanting to figure out who it was but idk if i got it wrong lol. have a good day!

omg hi lovely!! i 100% saw ur last message and meant to respond and then. either forgot or got busy w school stuff, im blanking on which is it which probably just means it slipped my mind :( sorry!!

im literally gonna copy it over here and answer both this ask + the previous one to make it easier so uhh long response under the readmore !! i hope that's okay :(

okie dokie ill address this ask first

hi!!! you've been following the series since like... very close to the beginning then haha which is v v sweet and ill sob rn!!

i think i mentioned jeonghan working on the lil plush mouse during cheol UtS but didn't address it further, but yes! it was going to come up during poly fic at some point where he made all of the plushies for each person as a way of like. giving ppl comfort, esp when they show up & don't join the group at first (so that they have Something there w them, im the kind of person who needs something in my arms in order to sleep haha so that's where it's mainly coming from).

and for ur last ask:

hi its me again the tattoo anon LOL. i just wanted to reply to what you said and im so glad that i made you happy with what i said and i genuinely mean it. this is a little vulnerable but ever since i started liking svt i think a major reason why i love them so much is because they are a big group of friends and i have friends, but not that many so stanning svt in general is so comforting because of the closeness of all of them but finding this fic was like. a fucking dream for me because them being such a big close knit group and it being like the found family trope is perfect and the way you write and portray them is so comforting. genuinely i meant it when i said its one of my favorite things i have stumbled upon in my life, i have shared this story with my friends and they love it too and when we watch some edits of seventeen or see something in general that reminds us of this fic we say “this is so under the sun coded” and its like an inside joke with me and my friends. you literally changed the trajectory of my life with this fic lol. when im having a hard time in my personal life i come back to this little world u created by either just thinking about it before i fall asleep or rereading it and i want to thank you for being a writer. i hope you enjoy writing what you write bc i know that i certainly enjoy it and i hope you are proud of urself. anyway i think selling subtle stickers would be so awesome and i will definitely buy them. also since i submitted my last ask i have thought about little ideas for a tattoo maybe?? like what about like a small drawing of a church and like 13 little people around it with a little sun?!? or flowers like you said OR getting little drawings of the animals each person has? i think that would be so cute. or like maybe a little sash blindfold?? anyway ur awesome i love u thank u

the first time i tried to answer this ask, my long response ended up deleted bc i switched tabs for a second to check something and then tumblr just... deleted it??? which was v frustrating, kind of makes me hate the new post editor a Lot!

but to be vulnerable as well, i think i started writing UtS at like... a difficult point in my life? not difficult as in the painful way, but difficult as in 'there's a lot going on right now and i've never felt more alone than i do now' i guess? it's like... i started writing it right before my final semester of college, and i'm an online student, so i don't get to go out and be in a classroom with other people. sometimes i call myself an introvert when i think the term 'ambivert' has always fit more--i don't detest being social, i do tend to enjoy it! but i still need alone time to make up for it since it's draining. and idk, i was lost for a while on who i am and what i want to do with my life?

and i feel like writing UtS has put me in a vulnerable position to like... question a lot more about myself as a person. i have friends, sure, but no one i go out to see in person since i'm not exactly like... in a good place for that kind of interaction (deep south bible belt, haha... makes not being straight something i struggle with sometimes). i think the important part of UtS is the acceptance they all have for one another, and it's something i personally wish to have a lot more of in my offline life. i think even if i had the idea without darl+ing, it would have ended up being a svt fic due to how close they are and how much they care for one another.

also tbh i just love the found family trope. i love the idea and process of choosing your own family in a sense and saying 'these are MY people and i love them' ig.

also u showing the fic to ur friends + the comment abt being like 'this is UtS coded' ill SOB!!! i will!!! thats literally so cute and sweet of u!!! (pls feel free to send me any of ur 'this is UtS coded' thoughts i would always love to hear them haha)

but like. this is why i write. i like being able to impact people and help them escape life and be happy for a while. its why it always means a lot to me when i get feedback on my work and see people be happy with what i write (... even if sometimes its angsty haha--moving people to feel is a huge compliment by itself!). im glad you have UtS. im glad i have it now, too.

i do enjoy writing, btw, and i loved writing uts. even with the frustration periods where i didn't touch it for a while, i genuinely enjoyed writing uts a lot. i think i owe a lot of that to people like you, who read it and show support for the series! its always easier to read something when i know there's someone who will enjoy it. i remember smiling hard when i rewrote the ending to cheol uts bc of how fucking stoked i was to share it tbh!!! also bc i messaged savv 'lol this is gonna be devastating (/pos)' at one point i think sdkfhsdf but i was genuinely excited to finish it and get it out to u guys!! i dont know who i would be if i didn't write, and despite like... all of the bad shit that's happened in my life that i've turned to writing to pull myself out of it, i don't think i'd ever give it up. i think it's too deeply a part of me to ever give up. maybe one day i'll get published lol

ill definitely put more thought into subtle stickers for UtS (and maybe some other series haha cant remember if i mentioned that last time but UtS felt like the bigger one)! might have to ask around my friend circle for tips on designing them >:3

ohh i like ur tattoo ideas :0 im not sure what would look good so i hope u consult a tattoo artist with ur ideas eventually!! the idea of the lil church w a sun + 13 ppl is rly cute? if u do the sash-blindfold thing, u could always have a lyric inside of it or something if u wanna play w that :3c pls feel free to keep me updated further!!

sorry i didnt get to this ask until now but i hope u are doing well mwah mwah have a good day ur awesome ily

[rrxnjun]

oh my god thanku really love the date cuz its a national holiday here so every year i'm getting fireworks🤭🩷💗also can i ask when is ur birthday or is that top secret information?👀

oo i'm really glad u were able to keep the idea🥳🥳(but really cuz other wise i might have not found ur page and that is just heartbreaking when i think about it💔)

tbh i'm down if u end up coming just tell me cuz i'm 80% sure i will go🫡 i don't understand why they are not going to vienna like i remember it being so popular for concerts cuz i was so salty about the fact that it's just the neighboring country and they couldn't have come a little bit closer🤣 AHH MAN NOOO THATS SO SAD☹️☹️☹️I HOPE U WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM ONE DAY!!!!☹️

U ARE JUST AMAZING FOR THAT!! best tendencies 🤣 yeah i was very shocked as well but i didn't get edits about it luckily cuz i think that would have made me so much more sad🫡 I UNDERSTAND THAT SO MUCH I WAS THE SAME FOR AGOOD WHILE MANS WAS ON MY MIND 24/7 (and still he is very much there although not as much as he used to:/)🤭 IDK I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE BASICALLY NO TREASURE WRITERS HERE??? but i really think u would be an exceptional writer for them👀sooo i'm waiting for a treasure fic if u don't fall out of them ofc (although that is kinda hard to imo) ooo u know i think just a drabble couldn't hurt anyoneeee🤗 THEN IM WAITING FOR UR FIC EVEN MORE🥳

HOOE UR DOING WELL AS WELL!!! and i'm not too sweet u are too sweet!!!!!🩷💘💘 (and sorry again for the very late reply school sucks☹️)

(and i also wanted to ask that should i send u asks on ur other acc if i see something that i would bring up here just so i don't pollute this page anymore than i already did🤣like i just keep bringing up random topics here so sorry)

(liebestraum anon🌷💕💞)

omg thats so cool???? fireworks on your bday every year must be so amazing woah,,,, my bday is not a top secret dw 😌😌 its quite literally in 2 days (apr 16) lmao i feel very old and i also forgot its my bday this sunday so when my mum mentioned it i was like what already???

hhhh i am too!! i am currently actively writing it just so you know<33 if school doesnt kick my ass as hard (which it might bc i have my first final in 10 days LMAO) i think it should be done before summer AHAHA

have fun if you end up going!!! i had a talk w everyrone and came to the conclusion that i just cant go this year so thats :// maybe next year.... manifesting vienna fr that way i could be home the same day if i tried hard enough. VIENNA USED TO BE SO POPULAR W CONCERTS i swear every pop punk band and their mothers back in the day had a concert there. what happened im gen so confused i keep searching for it on every tour but nowadays no one goes there

you know the song TV by billie eilish??? thOSE edits make me so heartbroken. like 'dont know where you are right now, did you see me on TV?' bitch stop puting mashidam onto those lyrics i will have a full on meltdown. but anyways my man jihoon is still on my mind 24/7 and its gotten even worse man i need serious help i think. somebody call an exorcist. and stop supporting that drabble i will nOT write it (i am trying really hard to contain myself rn)

school sucks and it should be cancelled. >:(( i hope youre doing well i enjoyed hearing from you,, hope life treats you good in the next couple of days!!! mwah

also you can send asks whenever you want!! honestly this is my space and i dont mind clogging the dash djfkdlj if anyone minds these they can just block the tag, they curate their own tumblr experience :p but if you ever wanna send anything to mosviqu or my other blogs i honestly welcome you everywhere!!!

[flamingo-writes]

Caught Fire – e.m.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is going to be a long list so brace yourselves! Or just skip to the fic fhnsdk

So, I started writing this on Sunday and it's Friday now. And kid you not, all of my free time from work I spent it here, planning, writing and editing this...I really poured a lot of effort here, so I hope you all like it.

Don't let the length of this fanfic intimidate you, I promise it's worth it. 15.6K words with a lot of story and emotions.

This fanfic is actually very personal to me, several of the things in this fanfic are based of memories from my high school with a few of my crushes dnhckjs

The title is based of How Can I resist by Heart. And I know, I have another fanfic based of this same song, but c'mon it's one f my all time favorite songs and I love the lyrics and I can see Eddie vibing to this song

Also, I want to give my lovely friend @storiesthatneedtobewritten bcs Em, you're awesome, and we've been fangirling about Eddie nonstop for the last few days. Em is also working on a Eddie fanfic! So keep an eye out for it!!

Summary: After a very interesting detention, Eddie can't help but think of his bad luck of having met you with the end of the schoolyear around the corner. Specially after your plans for college are so far away from Hawkins. The instant friendship soon had him smitten, and before he realized it, he was in love with you. With graduation closer and closer, things seem to simultaneously get perfect between the both of you, but also messy. The both of you screw up, and hurt each other in the process. And there's a decision Eddie has to make.

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug consumption, Eddie and the reader being idiots, angst, smut.

Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt-comfort, smut.

Word Count: 15.6K words

Taglist: @nightless @emotionaldreamer @totallynotkaibiased @kibumslatina @lonely-kermit @angelzone @random-fandom-900 @joukiworld @slightlyvicked

The detention room was always so…strangely, peacefully quiet. Sure, every time he was there after class, he felt the need to poke out his own eyes out of boredom, but this was perhaps the most at peace he found himself when he was at school. When it wasn’t D&D night, of course.

The usual handful of people were there. Mark, a guy who fell asleep in perhaps too many classes. Jessica who snapped back at a teacher or two. Some kid who’s name Eddie always forgot, caught copying the homework or perhaps a test. And the latest addition to the group, a freshman who had been caught more than once writing down stuff in the bathroom stalls and smoked inside the classroom. 

The bunch of misfits. An odd little family Eddie had grown to appreciate over the course of detention hours. 

Eddie completely ignored the sound of the door opening and closing as he had his arms crossed over the desk and his face buried in it. Caught in a slumbered state, not entirely asleep yet, he still heard light footsteps, deciding they were not worth his attention. Not yet, at least.

"Welcome. Sit down. Think about what you did, write an essay about it, and you better not write down that you’d do it again…" Ms. Phelps said.

Eddie, far past the point of caring and half awake state, knew it was someone who wasn’t usually in detention. And hearing Ms Phelps’s instructions, he noticed how for the last few years, barely anything had changed. Same speech, same instructions, and the same lack of interest for reading said essays. Same essays Eddie stopped writing a long time ago, since they didn’t matter. The time the clock struck 5 o’clock, they were off the hook.

He heard a groan, a sigh and finally a loud thud on the desk next to his. And finally, deciding it was worth to look up and see who it was, Eddie saw you. Your forehead was pressed against the table, as you frowned frustrated and resigned, your leg anxiously bouncing; and you seemed to be mumbling to yourself. He smirked amused. 

“Now, that’s a surprise…” He whispered, catching your attention as you opened your eyes and looked at him with panic devouring your eyes. “Welcome to the misfits” He said in a low deep voice, trying to get any form of reaction from you.

‘What a surprise,’ he thought. You, out of all people. He scanned you up and down, the look of a scared animal caught wandering where it shouldn’t was splattered all over your face. Your camera resting on the desk and the strap was wrapped around your hand, an outfit he thought was cute in philosophy class earlier that day, and the sweet smell of your perfume —a smell he always associated with vanilla cookies— reached his nostrils. 

The interest he already had on you seemed to spark. He always found you cute and thought your antiques were adorable. Far too quiet, far too polite, and definitely far too nice to frequent the social circles you did. However, it was part of who you were. And you were the school photographer, a member of the school newspaper. Meaning you were often around the socialite groups, the various sports teams, the cheerleaders, the popular kids…Which was why Eddie never really felt the need to approach you and talk to you. You belonged in another social group, despite your entire personality not exactly matching with the people you frequented. 

You didn’t exactly belong. And more than once Eddie thought those people kept you around mostly out of convenience. The better they get along with the school photographer, the more and better pictures of them make it to the paper. Symbiosis, if you will. You take the good pictures, they maintain your popularity.

“Thanks,” You replied awkwardly.

"Silence!” The teacher snapped, and you flinched. 

Eddie smirked amused, thinking you looked cute. Well…cuter when you flinched. He looked over at Ms Phelps as she soon got distracted in her magazine once more. Biting the tip of his tongue, he grabbed his backpack and pulled out a notebook and opened it in the first blank page he found and took out a pen. 

As you continued to shake your leg anxiously, your eyes were glued to the clock on top of the blackboard. It was barely 3 pm, and the football game would start in half an hour. Nancy Wheeler was going to murder you for getting your ass in trouble and missing the big final, and not getting any pictures. You needed to get out of there, but Ms. Phelps had a reputation of being insufferable, and making an agreement was not an option. Even trying to picture the possible conversation with her, you were sure you’d end up crying out of the utter panic and Ms Phelps raising her voice at you. And the last thing you wanted was for everyone there to see you cry and beg.

You flinched again, as you caught Eddie sliding a folded piece of paper over your desk. He met your stare and gave you a cheeky wink as you grabbed the piece of paper and unfolded the whole page.

‘Fancy seeing you here,’ was written with messy yet nice looking handwriting. 

You sighed and looked at him. Something in his cheeky grin softened into a more genuine smile, as you actually felt some sort of odd comfort radiating from his dark eyes. Eddie with whom you’d perhaps exchanged a total of 7 phrases during the school year and lent him your notes one time he skipped class to go to a concert. You always admired his complete lack of fucks to give. And even found his laidback and usually chill attitude —mixed with his rockstar appearance— attractive. But you were slightly intimidated by him. 

You grabbed a pen from your backpack and wrote down your reply hoping he’d catch on your sarcasm.

‘You know, I’ve always had a fascination for rebellious acts against the system’

You folded the paper and handed it back to him. He picked it and read it, his smile spreading wider across his face as he appreciated your handwriting, far prettier and nicer to stare at than whatever his messy doctor handwriting was.

You watched him glance at you and then started writing. He passed you the note.

‘Ah, non conforming, I see…Good. I like you better now. Excuse my intrusive nose, but I can’t help but wonder why Hawkins High Photographer is stuck in the detention room, looking like you’ve seen a ghost. Did your journalist nature get you in trouble?’

Eddie noticed the way you smiled softly. Amused by his peculiar writing, you looked up again at him. He was glad that he had managed to make the terrified look in your eyes change. You looked back down and moved your pen at once.

‘Well, for starters, Nancy will be mad at me for not getting pics of the game that’s happening right now…And also, I punched Jason Carver in the jaw’ 

You handed him back the note as he looked at it. As his eyes went over your reply and he let a loud laugh escape his throat as he clapped his hands.

“Ah, marvellous!” He sang.

“Munson!” Ms. Phelps barked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry…” He sighed, raising his hands as he looked at the teacher and then leaned over his elbows over the desk, waiting for her to look back at her magazine before he started writing down his next reply.

‘You’ll have to tell me more about punching Jason…Do you wanna go to the game?’ Somehow, his voice was in your head as you read.

‘Well it’s not a matter whether I want to or not. I have to…But I can’t just leave here’ You replied.

‘I’ll cover you,’

After reading his reply, you looked over at him, slightly confused as he stretched his hand over to your desk and snatched the piece of paper back, wrinkling in his palm as he winked at you and stood up from his desk rather loudly. 

“What in God’s name do you think you’re doing, Munson?” The teacher asked, he shrugged in a silent reply.

“I didn’t like the way my regretful speech was turning, that’s all…” He said as he stood by the teacher's desk and tossed the paper on the bin. “What?” 

“Were you really writing the essay?” Ms Phelps raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“If you don’t believe me, read it” He said confidently, making your heart race as you could see the horror unfold before your eyes as you wondered if Ms Phelps would actually grab the piece of paper and read it. 

But she didn’t. She limited herself to stare at Eddie, her small eyes squinting, almost disappearing from her face. 

“You’re up to something…” She said, making Eddie chuckle. 

“Must I always have a master plan behind everything I do? Am I not just free to do things for the sake of it?” He asked with his sarcastic smirk on his face.

“You speak far too eloquently for someone who keeps repeating senior year…”

“I’m going to pretend like that wasn’t an insult in disguise and instead take it as a compliment because you called me eloquent. I spend a lot of time reading. Besides, it’s but a single class the one I’m struggling with, the rest I know the lectures almost by heart now…” His smile grew into a toothy proud smirk. 

Eddie avoided looking up at you to draw any suspicion. And as the teacher continued to bicker with him, you very silently grabbed your backpack and walked towards the door, slowly pushing it open and closing it very slowly.

Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t spend the rest of his afternoon thinking of you. Not in a dreamy kid with a crush kind of way. He thought about you in general. And how despite most of the people in the school paper being for the most part tacky and conceited, you remained very humble. 

The next day, very much to his displeasure, you two didn’t share any classes that day. He would’ve liked to see you and talk to you, but looking around school or keeping his eyes wide open while walking down the halls was too much effort.

“Hey, Ed. Hawkins High journalist 6 o’clock…” Dustin whispered upon noticing you awkwardly approaching their table.

You had your binder pressed against your chest as you shyly walked closer to them, camera hanging from your shoulder and your backpack from the other one.

Eddie sat up straight and turned around. His gaze turned into a confident smile. Your entire look was adorable, he had to admit. He stood up and gently bowed, offering you the seat next to him.

“Oh, well, well, well…The rebellious princess is blessing us with her presence…” He said as you smiled shyly and sat between him and Dustin.

“What a weird way to say hello” You giggled putting your binder and camera over the table.

“I’m not the school freak for nothing, babe” He smirked. “What do we owe the pleasure?”

“I wanted to thank you for helping me out yesterday,” You said looking at him with a genuine smile and sparkly eyes. “I managed to get to the game on time, took a few pics, didn’t get murdered by Nancy…And all thanks to you…” You said as the rest of the Hellfire Club exchanged stares, slightly confused. "I am indebted to you, and I’ll gladly buy you lunch someday, or a drink or whatever…”

“I’m glad I could help…” He smirked. “I’ll take your word on lunch someday, sweetheart”

 It seemed like since that day, Eddie and you became friends. And over the course of the week you went from waving and smiling at each other when you walked across each other in the halls, to stopping at the sight of the other to exchange a few words or questions “What class you’ve got next?” “Hey, can I borrow your calculator?” “Mr Owens is in a mood today, make sure to not say anything stupid nor too sarcastic”. People started giving you weird looks when they noticed you and Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson started interacting more and more. Especially when you went from knowing the other exists to actually talking outside the school, in the parking lot, by your locker. And all over the course of a week and a half. 

Two weeks after your detention incident, you finally took Eddie out for lunch to thank him for what he did. You two went to a Chinese restaurant  by the mall one Thursday afternoon after school, you would’ve gone on a Friday, but Eddie had told you Fridays were Hellfire days. And not wanting to disrespect your newfound golden friendship, you decided to go on Thursday instead. 

“I hate this,” You giggled as you kept trying to hold some of your rice with your chopsticks and it kept falling and falling. 

“This was your idea, baby” He giggled as he  effortlessly grabbed some rice from your bowl and pulled his chopsticks up to your mouth. 

“You’re so good at this, it’s unfair” You giggled as you took the bite he offered you and blushed at the realisation that he had fed you. “How do you do it?” You murmured with your cheeks stuffed with rice.

“I’ve got a few hidden talents. Between playing guitar and painting miniatures, you learn how to carefully handle things…” He said as he then grabbed a piece of chicken and ate it. 

“You’re so incredibly artistic, Ed…Have you noticed that?” You sighed.

“I mean, I do want to become a musician…”

“No, not just that…” You said. “You paint your miniatures, and actually do a very good job at it, you play the guitar, you’ve said you write lyrics too, right? And you  not only design maps but plan these adventures for Hellfire. You’re insanely creative, Eddie!” You gasped.

The enthusiasm in your voice made his cheeks heat up and his heart skip a beat. Not really used to being flattered like that. Or in any way that wasn’t playing his guitar or while playing his role as Dungeon Master. And here you were recalling all the things he took for granted and as a part of his daily routine and made him realise how indeed, all those things required more creativity and talent than the average person had. 

“So me being a nerd is artistic?” He chuckled.

“Not all nerds are. But the very specific kind of nerd you are, yeah…” 

“Thanks, I guess…” He smiled, feeling the heat clinging to his cheeks. 

“I mean it. All these little things you do, they’re amazing, I swear. Too bad not everyone gets to realise this…” You sighed, “Artists are always under appreciated”

Eddie looked at you with a new found intrigue. His heart suddenly beating loudly in his chest as your big wide eyes met his and you smiled. He felt his heart being pierced with an arrow. The kind looks you gave him, your gentle and overall soft demeanour, and your clear appreciation of who he was…Rarely people gave him a chance, and those who did were soon surprised with how Eddie wasn’t the mean and scary person everyone took him for. But there was something different about the way you treated him, like you’d never really cared about the things people had to say about him, like he wasn’t a freak, like you were genuinely curious of who he was as a person and you weren’t enduring an interaction with him like it happened when someone bought drugs off of him. 

You spent the rest of the afternoon together just talking and getting to know each other better. At least until 9 o’clock when he drove you home. A little bit too early for his taste, but you had insisted.

“My dad and his stupid 9 pm curfew, I’m sorry…” You sighed. 

“I mean, we can at least still talk and hang out, right?” He asked. 

“Yeah, of course…Let me just go inside and tell my parents I’m back and that we’re going to be out here…” You said as you hopped down his van. 

He watched you leave as he got down himself and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. His thoughts circled around everything that had happened. Especially the way you smiled at him and told him you thought he was incredibly artistic. Even the memory tickled his belly and made his heart squeeze as he thought he was done for. He watched you go out and walk to the edge of the sidewalk and sit down, patting the free space next to you, inviting him to sit with you. He chuckled and walked towards you, noticing the curtains from the large window next to the door move and someone peeking out. Eddie instinctively waved, and whoever it was waved back, as you turned around to see. 

“Oh, that’s my dad…” You replied and looked back at Eddie. 

And just like that, the curtains fell once more behind the glass. 

From then on, the friendship bloomed. Eddie was not only easy to talk to, but something about his unhinged and spontaneous personality drew you in like a moth to light. Once Eddie managed to get over your shy facade, he was pleased to learn that your hidden playfulness matched his perfectly. Only perpetuating the feelings Eddie was growing over you. 

Even, in an attempt to spend more and more time with you, he agreed to study with you and even hang out in the afternoons and do homework together, helping each other out if needed. This was such a new thing for Eddie, he even found himself enjoying these little study dates. Sure, he still disliked sitting down and studying, but your company sure made it bearable. That and the focused look in your eyes when you concentrated, or how passionate you got when you were explaining something to him took his breath away. 

As the finals were drawing closer and closer you spent more and more time together, studying and catching up on homework. And one particular day, you were in his trailer, specifically in the living room sitting on the floor with your books and notes lying all around as you were explaining something to him about biology. Eddie entranced with your voice and hands moving around, he even had a small smile on his face. 

The door swung open slowly as Eddie’s uncle walked inside and found the both of you there. The scene was instantly surprising as it was clear that you two were studying. Eddie was studying. 

“Oh, you’re early…” Eddie sighed as he looked at his uncle and stood up, stretching lightly before offering you a hand and helping you up. “Hun, this is my uncle, the one and only Wayne Munson” He said and then turned at Wayne and called your name no loud and clear. “My dearest friend, companion I’d say partner in crime, but she’s too sweet for that…” 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Munson…” You said gazing at him.

“Oh dear, drop the formality. You can call me Wayne, it’s alright” He chuckled awkwardly. “You’re studying, now that’s new…” Wayne joked. 

“Oh yeah, she’s Ms Good Influence in my life now…She convinced me to study…” Eddie teased as you giggled and watched him attentively. 

Something in Eddie’s demeanour changed when Wayne arrived. Not new walls building, but quite the opposite. Not like you, you would’ve gotten slightly tense if your mother had arrived home to find the both of you studying. Eddie bickered with his uncle back and forth for a while, teasing and joking between them as you noticed a look in his dark eyes. Eddie’s dark eyes sparkling with something too beautiful and too peaceful. You wondered how close those two were. Sure, Eddie rarely talked about his parents, talked a few things about his uncle, and something you knew to be true was that the old man worked for most of the day, and every so often he had night shifts. But from the way Eddie was looking at him, you could tell Eddie appreciated him far more than he concealed with words.  Your heart melted and wished someone looked at you the way he looked at his uncle, with so much unconditional love. You even wished Eddie looked at you that same way.

“We bought pizza for lunch earlier. There’s still some left in the fridge if you want…” Eddie said as he returned to the living room where you were, looking at him with melting eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” You purred.

The sweet tone of your voice and the cute smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat and wonder what did he do to get such a reaction from you? He’d do it again.

“Thanks, kiddo” Wayne said opening the fridge. 

“Sure, no problem,” Eddie replied looking back at Wayne as he sat next to you on the couch. 

“Wanna take a break from studying?” You yawned. 

“Oh finally! Yes!” Eddie giggled as you felt his smile warming up your cheeks. 

With every passing day. The friendship seemed to grow stronger and stronger. The two of you becoming two peas of a pod, getting used to each other’s antiques, likes and dislikes. Adapting into a comfortable routine where you spent a considerable amount of time outside of school together. Eventually, you got over your slight fear of rejection, and asked him if you could take pictures of him. His flamboyant and dramatic demeanour allowed you to take great pictures of him.

And since, Eddie became your favourite subject to follow around and photograph. You had gathered a small collection of pictures that looked staged, but in reality, those were Eddie being Eddie. You got a chance to take a picture of Eddie walking over one of the cafeteria tables, staring at everyone from above, like a cat gazing over what was his territory. Eddie playing his guitar at the back of his van with a joint between his lips, Eddie dramatically sitting on the armrest of his famous throne in the classroom they used for Hellfire campaigns, even his DM screen and set up looked fascinating in their own way. 

But your favourite picture was one in which he was doing nothing but relaxing on one of the stone benches outside the school. The both of you were skipping your 7th period of the day on a Friday that was far too close to the summer and graduation. It was hard to concentrate in class by this point, even the teachers were starting to savour the end of the school year. So, skipping a class or two wouldn’t hurt anyone, nor the teachers would care. He was lying on the stone bench. The tree above you keeping the both of you fresh, despite the unbearable heat. His chest rising and falling slowly as you sometimes thought he had fallen asleep, at least until you noticed his foot moving to the rhythm of whatever he was listening to on his Walkman with the headphones on his head. His messy hair spread and falling down the stone bench. His black Dio shirt matching the slightly faded ink in his sun kissed skin. 

You saw the entire scene and quickly pulled your camera, taking a picture. And it wasn’t until you heard the click of your camera that the penny dropped. The sudden rush in your heartbeat when you saw Eddie so relaxed on that bench wasn’t just because you had found a beautiful scene to capture in your camera. You found him beautiful and attractive on his own. But you realised how your crush  on him wasn’t just a crush. A blush spread through your cheeks as you looked up from your camera and stared at Eddie once more, taking in the little details in his face, his neck, his chest, his hands gently resting over his stomach. 

"You good?” His sleepy voice snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Ah ye-yeah…” You stuttered as you met his eyes briefly and looked away feeling all too flustered. “I took a picture, that’s all…”

“Really?”

“You looked too relaxed…And not threatening nor intimidating at all” you joked as you gazed back at him and watched him crack a smile. 

“Oh no,” He joked. “You better keep that to yourself, people can’t be seeing me being vulnerable” He smirked.

You stared at him with a gentle smile spreading on your face, looking at him with a new found adoration. Something about his comment made your chest warm up. Perhaps that he trusted you enough to admit that he had let his guard down with you around. Or that you kept the picture… most of the pictures you took of him, you’d let him keep them. Just kept a few for your own portfolio for college. 

“Eddie…” You whispered as he looked at you and took off his headphones. 

“Tell me, sweetheart”

“What are you doing after graduation?” You murmured, already knowing he wanted to do something with his music, but never really went into an actual explanation of whatever he planned. If he even was in the first place.

“Finally someone has faith in me!” He said dramatically, referring to his slim chances of passing Ms. O’Donnell’s final. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Perhaps play my guitar somewhere…why?” 

You felt a rather painful squeeze in your chest as you didn’t know how to break the news to him.

“I…got the acceptance letter back from the college…in Indianapolis…” You said without saying anything else, letting him fill in the blanks. 

His eyes widened in surprise as he sat up and fell to the grass in front of you. 

“Oh hey, that’s great, darling!” He said excitedly as he cupped your face in his hands and brought you closer, hugging you. “I told you your little nerdy brain could get anywhere you wanted!” 

“Yeah…Thing is…I,” You stuttered breaking the hug “Well, I also got another one back…From a college I applied to in New York…” 

His smile faded slightly, as he looked at you. Puzzled at first, not believing for a second what he had heard as he thought of the chances of you leaving Indiana to go to a place like New York. Far away from Hawkins. Far away from him.

“New York? That’s far away!” He chuckled awkwardly.

“It is! But my brother is currently there, in law school…So, I told him if I could move in with him in his apartment and he said yes…” You explained, not sure exactly what you were trying to accomplish.

“That is amazing, love…” He whispered looking at you tenderly “I mean, it’s a bit sad that you’re going to leave me but, I’m proud of you, babe…" He said smiling at you, although he felt a sting in his chest. "Come visit from time to time…I’m sure going to miss you as hell…" His voice faded.

You stared into his eyes and smiled. Such a beautiful smile, Eddie thought. A smile he wanted to forever carve in his memory. Against his conscious mind, his arm reached out for you again and brought you close for another hug as you wrapped your arms around him at once and melted against his embrace, taking in the familiar smell of Eddie’s cologne and cigarette smoke.

—

As the summer drew closer, you spent more and more time together. Studying for finals and especially helping Eddie with the classes he struggled with the most. Sometimes at his place. Sometimes at yours. Sometimes it was the school library. And even the back of his van. This was when people started talking the most about the odd closeness the two of you shared. 

Being in the school paper meant you were in a lot of social events, interacted with a lot of people, and being the photographer, people had to be nice to you. You held so much power without realising it, since you could decide which photos to use, and how many times were you willing to take people’s pictures. So everyone in school, if they wanted to look good in the paper, they had to kiss your ass. However, the genuine desire to be nice to you or to ask you to sit with the popular groups wasn’t exactly there. You knew this, but didn’t really give a shit. 

And now the photographer was hanging out with the freak. Not only hanging out. Rumours spread like wildfire after one time someone saw you two at the back of his van, the van parked on a popular viewpoint where normally couples went. However, the both of you were mostly studying with the door wide open. Eddie needed to constantly change locations or else he’d grow bored and restless and studying became impossible. And this viewpoint was your latest idea as you studied. 

But people didn’t know that. 

People simply saw you at the famous viewpoint. The two of you spent several hours there doing god knows what. And the next thing everyone knows is, you’re hugging Eddie, in the middle of the hall as he is spinning on his toes. A truly adorable scene…if it wasn’t the freaks. Or at least many people thought. 

But you didn’t care. You were more focused on celebrating Eddie’s B+ in Mrs. O’Donell’s final. The one class Eddie needed  to pass. And the exam you studied for the most, even to the point of Eddie begging you to study something else. But all the studying had gotten Eddie far more than the D he needed. He had gotten a B+ and he was as ecstatic as you were. Thanking you over and over as he hugged you, spinning on his toes as you clung to him celebrating as well. 

“Eddie! Oh my god! That’s insane! I’m so proud of you!” You giggled as you buried your face in his neck as he spun you around celebrating. 

As he set you down and broke the hug, he dramatically bowed to you. 

“I will forever be in your debt, oh your glorious highnesses” He said, making you giggle. 

“Just buy me lunch sometime and we’ll be even” You giggled.

That night, as he drove you back home at the usual ridiculously early curfew your father set, he parked in front of your house. You’d gone to the arcade and spent the afternoon trying to beat as many high scores as possible, competing between the both of you. And on the ride back home, you found one of the many D20 bouncing around in the cup holder of his van, and grabbed it and played with it in your palm for the entirety of the ride. As you say your goodbyes and as you were about to go inside your house, you stopped on your tracks and hopped back to his van. 

“What’s up?” He asked once you opened the door and you returned the D20 to the cup holder. 

“I was about to kidnap this little guy” You said, making Eddie chuckle as he grabbed it and handed it back to you. 

“No, keep it” He said, smiling softly at you. “Think of this as a piece of me…” 

“Ed–“

“This used to be any other D20, like the other eight I have lying around somewhere in this same van…” He chuckled. “Now it’s yours. Keep it safe for me, yeah?” The smile he gave you was to die for as you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“So dramatic…” You chuckled, as he smirked. 

“A token of my trust, my gratitude, even a piece of my heart of you will,” He joked, playing along and moving his hands in a dramatic gesture. 

“Alright then, Eddie The Freak Munson…” You chuckled. “Good night,” You purred as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek before sprinting out of his van and running towards your house. 

If you had stayed for two more seconds, Eddie would’ve seized his chance and would’ve kissed you right there and then. Although the flip his heart made and excitement rushed through his body, soon he felt the gloom washing over him, reminding him that you had your days in Hawkins jumbered. And with every passing day, you were closer and closer to leaving to New York, making him feel slightly bitter, and even sorry that he didn’t get to meet you before. You had spent almost four years there, and him six, and he had to meet you after you returned from Spring Break. 

Just like every end of term, there was a party where pretty much everyone was invited and everyone attended. Even him, although he went more as a business trip, selling joints and weed to people at the party, and also because you’d told him you were going to be there. However, you were nowhere to be seen yet, and he came across Chrissy Cunningham. The sweet little cheerleader he had the pleasure of making a drug deal shortly before Spring Break. And most likely, the girl to steal his heart if you hadn’t come around exactly two weeks after his drug deal with Chrissy. He had felt that romantic curiosity and attraction towards her when they first talked in the woods, but that was before you came along. However, some sort of residual feelings were still there. 

After you returned from taking a couple of photos of the basketball team, you returned inside the house. Hearing from the team they were trying to cheer Jason up, you wondered what had happened, but not enough to ask. Truth was, you didn’t really care about what  happened with Jason. Since that time he tried to get his way with you and you punched him in the face—which got you into the detention in which you properly met Eddie—, and you thought perhaps Chrissy had opened up her eyes and realised Jason wasn’t the best guy for her. 

But boy, you weren’t actually expecting Chrissy to realise not just that, but seeing her talking to Eddie made something in your heart twist and turn painfully, And the worst part it wasn’t that you were the only one seeing it. People were also talking about how close Eddie was talking to Chrissy. His silhouette towering right next to her, leaning closer to her, talking into her ear. People around you were saying how Chrissy only needed a few hours to get over her breakup with Jason to move on to none other than Eddie, The Freak. Her wide eyes looking at him curiously, as Eddie’s charming smile shone down on her. 

You felt dizzy. You felt nauseous. If it wasn’t for the fact that you hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol yet, you’d perhaps believe you were drunk. Light headed, and suddenly the earth spinning faster than ever, you would’ve believed you were drunk. You hung your camera around your neck and spun on your toes and went to the kitchen to get a drink. 

“So much for a piece of your heart…” You whispered bitterly, as you felt the weight of the D20 in your pocket suddenly weighing fifty times more than it should. 

As you grabbed a can of beer and opened it, you wasted no time and drank half of it in one go, hoping that the bitter and gross taste of beer washed away the bad taste seeing Eddie flirting with Chrissy left in your mouth. 

“Whoa, someone’s here to get wasted!” You recognized Bradley’s voice as you put down the can. 

You stared at him and waved hello. Tall, tanned, charming smile and cheeky eyes looked down at you as you wondered how much could a person change with just an outfit. 

“You look so different without your football uniform…” You said, smiling at him. 

“I look good, though, right?” He smirked as you rolled your eyes sarcastically. 

“You always look good, Brad. Or so all the girls at school say…” You replied, not really meaning anything of what you had said. Sure, Bradley was attractive, but he wasn’t your type by any means.

The rest of your beer soon disappeared. And so did the next two, three cans of beer. And the night became blurry with colours that looked all too saturated. Music seemed to barely last, as you weren’t sure anymore of what was happening. All you knew was that you were trying to forget about the image of Chrissy and Eddie, which was going great at first. Until you caught a glimpse of them making out by a corner of the house. The nausea clung to your throat and your eyes blurred with tears as another two cans of beer made it past your lips as if they were water. As you were actually growing fond of the taste of it, your head didn’t. You danced, you blended in with the popular crowd for the first time in all of your high school years, you swore you kissed lips that tasted like cigarettes and weed, and in a poor taste joke, your mind envisioned Eddie, but only made the ache in your heart worse as you pulled away, only to find Brad holding you by the waist. 

You had gotten drunk before, a few times, but never like this. God, your parents were going to kill you. You were lost. Drowned in alcohol, and yet, the fear of your consequences sobered you enough to make you leave the dance floor and Bradley, telling him you needed some fresh air. Walking out of the house, you dragged your feet, fighting to keep your balance until you made it to the small park across the street and grabbed one of the swing seats and sat down, looking at the ground, feeling your stomach threatening you to barf all the excess beer filling your empty stomach. 

“Shit…” You groaned, as you closed your eyes, resigned that sooner or later it was going to happen. 

As Eddie walked out of the house with a victorious smile and a giggly Chrissy with her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders, they headed to his van. Slightly disappointed that he never got to see you, but at the same time grateful. Things with Chrissy wouldn’t have happened the way they did if you were there. If you’d been there, his attention would’ve been solely on you. 

However, his euphoric little state didn’t last long as he recognized you at the distance, when he opened the copilot seat for Chrissy to get inside. His stomach turned stone cold.

“Shit,” He purred. 

“What’s wrong?” Chrissy asked curiously as she followed his eyes across the street and looked at the park. 

“Give me a minute. Stay in the car, I’ll be back in a bit, yeah?” He purred softly, as he thought about kissing her forehead, but he didn’t. 

He didn’t and he knew why. Eddie watched Chrissy get in the van and he closed the door before jogging across the street and into the park as he walked up to you, calling your name as you flinched and looked up. 

“Oh, shit. Hi…“ You groaned and looked back down. “Hello…”

“You came…” Eddie said confused.

“Yeah. I told you I would…” You sighed as he sat on the swing seat next to yours and rubbed your back. “Ed, I’m so drunk, this is ridiculous…”

“Yeah, I was going to say you stink like the guys who usually watch us play on Tuesdays…” Eddie purred. 

“Ha! That’s a good one…” You purred.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I’m stupid, that’s what happened…” Eddie frowned at the way your voice bitterly spat your reply. 

“Hey, come on, don’t talk like that…” He whispered. “Let’s take you home,”

“N-no…I ca-can’t get home like this…Eddie, please…”

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Oh god, I don’t know…” You sighed deeply. You slid off the swing seat and fell to the grass. “How much of a bad idea is it to stay here?”

“Awful. C’mon…” Eddie said standing up and offering you a helping hand as he took a deep breath. 

“Where are we going?” You muttered as you grabbed his hand and he pulled you up and you clung to him, feeling like the earth was spinning a thousand miles a second. “Oh god…” You muttered. “Sorry…” 

“No, it’s okay…” He whispered. “I’m taking you to my place…” 

Eddie’s plans of taking Chrissy to his place changed as soon as he saw you completely wasted, saying you couldn’t go back home. And he didn’t even feel conflicted about making such a decision. Seeing you like that made his heart break as he knew something had happened for you to end up like that. And in a heartbeat, he made the decision to watch over you rather than getting lucky with Chrissy. As he guided you to his van, he slid open the backseat’s door and guided you inside. 

“Dude, the back seat…?” You asked confused as you looked over and saw Chrissy on the co pilot's seat as she waved shyly at you. “Oh, hi, Chrissy..,” You hiccuped. “What a-are…Oh–, shit, I’m sorry…” you mumbled as your drunken brain managed to put two and two together. “Ah fuck, I’m so sorry. You look very pretty though…Hi Chrissy…” 

As Eddie slid into the driver’s seat, he felt his chest tight at the way you dragged your tongue with every word. Reminding him of how he was making out with another girl who wasn’t the girl he so desperately wanted to kiss. And having both of them there made him tense. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t leave her there…” Eddie muttered slightly embarrassed. “Mind if I drive you home? I need to sober her up before dropping her home…” Eddie lied.

“Oh, don’t worry..,you two are best friends, right?” Chrissy asked.

“God, the best! Eddie is…” you sighed as you lied down. “The absolute best guy you can find…”

Your words only made Eddie’s chest tighter and tighter. Chrissy giggled. 

“Really?” 

“Oh really!” You said sitting up and leaning closer to the front seats. “He’s so fun and chill to hang around…Hella smart even though he says he isn’t…”

“Jesus, you sure are drunk…” Eddie chuckled uncomfortably. 

“No, no…I mean, yeah, I’m drunk. But I mean those things! I mean, I’m drunk, I can’t lie if you ask me anything right now…”

“Honey, you are such a terrible liar, even when sober” Eddie said as you chuckled. 

“Hmm, that’s true…” You whispered and laid back down. “I’m sorry for ruining your night guys…” You whispered, your cheerful voice soon dissipating and lowering. 

“Don’t worry, I actually think it’s very nice that you’re going to watch over her…” Chrissy said. 

“I tell you! Eddie has a heart of gold…” You sighed. 

Eddie looked over at the mirror, looking at you on the passenger's seat. He also felt Chrissy’s sweet stare on him as he felt ashamed to look over at her. 

"I love you, Eds,” You yawned, stretching your hand towards him and gently patted his head, as Chrissy giggled at the cute gesture. Eddie’s throat closed as he clenched his jaw. 

“Me too, dude” He said, biting the tip of his tongue as he didn’t know why he dropped that pet name out of all the things he used to call you. 

Was it because Chrissy was there? He didn’t want to blow off his narrowing chances with Chrissy. And at the same time, he felt like an asshole for doing that to you. Especially in such a vulnerable state, after you just said nice things about him. 

As Chrissy guided him to her place, he parked outside her house and rushed out of the van to open her door for her and walked her to the door. Chrissy stopped and pulled her keys out before swinging on her toes and looked at Eddie with a smile as she stood on her top toes and pecked him. 

“I know this didn’t end like you wanted, but I think it’s very sweet that you take care of her…As you should…” She gave him such a genuine and radiant smile it made Eddie feel guilty. “Someone else would’ve let their friend there if they were on their way to take someone else to their place…” She said, making it clear that she knew where Eddie was going to take her and why. 

“Yeah, well…she’s important to me…” Eddie sighed, his own oversimplification of your friendship hurting him. 

“I can tell. I’m even slightly jealous…I wish I had someone who looked out for me the way you do with her…” Chrissy said, only adding to the piling guilt in his gut. “Anyways, see you on Monday?” 

“Yeah…” He purred. 

“Goodnight, Eddie…” She purred as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and brought him close to her for a slow kiss. 

He groaned softly in surprise as he kissed her back. Her lips suddenly tasted bitter as he placed his hands in her waist. A part of his brain too painfully aware that you were passed out in his van, and another part of his brain imagining he was kissing you instead. 

“Goodnight…” He purred softly as he broke the kiss, his heart beating in his throat making him nauseous.

If you were being honest, the last memory you had from that night was when you first sat down in that swing seat. Everything else that happened afterwards was one big black out. You remembered everything before that point. 

And you spent the entirety of the Sunday in Eddie’s trailer. He watched over you, helped you with your hangover and told you a little bit of what happened after he found you in the swing seat. You called your parents and told them you crashed over at a friends place because your friend was the one passed out drunk and you were going to take care of them. That was Eddie’s idea to keep you off trouble. 

That was such a weird day. 

You told him you saw him and Chrissy kissing. He said he was originally selling her a few joints and one thing left to the other. You didn’t tell him why you had gotten so drunk, you simply said you had hardly eaten that day and that was it. You told him you made out with someone but couldn’t remember who was it, Eddie told you it had been Bradley Walsh. And other than that, you didn’t talk much. 

After a very needed shower, you spent the rest of the day in his bed. The both of you cuddled, napping, your legs tangled or your hands entwined the entire time. The both of you felt oddly hurting, and staying cuddled next to each other was both comforting and torturous. 

Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about how he kissed Chrissy in an attempt to use her as a rebound. He felt grossed out by himself. Only to realize that when put together, he’d choose you a million times. You in the other hand felt insanely guilty. You had made out with Brad because you were being petty and couldn’t stand the sight of Chrissy and Eddie kissing. 

The desire to hold on to each other and kiss each other was growing as the afternoon progressed, making the tension between you two more and more uncomfortable. But neither of you knew, or at least refused to believe, that your feelings for each other weren’t as one sided as you both believed them to be. And at the same time, the fear of actually losing the wonderful friendship you’d found a few months ago would go to waste with a single kiss. And if it didn’t, your departure to New York would definitely break both of your hearts. Either way, not addressing the situation seemed like a far better idea at the moment.

After he drove you home, you only felt your heart breaking further and further. The comfort of being in Eddie’s bed, between his arms, his slow breathing next to yours and his chest next to yours was drifting away with every mile you drove further from the trailer park. And when he walked you to the door, he kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight, love” He purred before he walked back to his van. 

Despite your Sunday with Eddie, you still felt uncomfortable every time you saw Chrissy. Specially when she looked at you, waved, asked how you were doing and if you’d seen Eddie. The fact that she was looking for Eddie made your stomach twist and your appetite got lost completely. 

“He’s perhaps at the usual table of the Hellfire Club?” You wondered. 

And with that, she was gone. You went in about your day and spent some time in the newspaper classroom printing your last photos to get them ready for the last issue of the school year. A few pictures of Eddie were there, only making the uncomfortable hole in your chest ache more. Once you were done, you went to the cafeteria and walked towards your friends in Hellfire, noticing Eddie wasn’t there. 

“Where’s Ed?” You asked in a soft whisper, not sure you wanted to hear the answer. 

"I saw him walking to his usual dealing spot with Cunningham…” Garett said. 

You clenched your jaw and nodded. 

“I see. Well, thanks guys, see you around..,” You sighed and walked away.

Dustin and Mike exchanged concerned stares. Noticing the way your slouched shoulders hid your head. The distant stare, and over all cold behaviour. You were normally so laid back and talkative. This time you simply made a question and with that you were gone. Along with the rumours, everyone was exchanging in the halls about what had happened in Aaron’s party. 

Thinking you and Eddie were more than meant to be, Dustin and Mike did feel worried regarding those rumours. You two were always together, we’re constantly flirty with each other, and suddenly, he was making out with Chrissy and seeing leaving the party with her. And you were seen making out with Brad. What exactly had happened in that party, they didn't know. Eddie too was acting odd that day. Quieter than usual, and he was seen quite a lot with Chrissy. 

After having finished their lunch, they decided to explore the school grounds searching for you. And when they finally did, you were sitting underneath a tree, resting against it, with your eyes closed and a very tired look on your face.

“Excited that you’re finally graduating this Friday?” Dustin asked with a feigned chuckle as you opened your eyes and looked at him. 

“Yeah, I guess…” You muttered smiling at them. 

“I thought you’d be looking a bit happier…” Dustin added. 

“Mind if we sit with you for a bit?” Mike asked, you shrugged and patted the grass next to you. 

“Be my guest, guys…My grass is your grass…” You said with a smile, not reaching your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked sitting next to you, bumping his boney shoulder next to yours, you sighed and rested your head against it, closing your eyes, fighting the urge to cry. 

“Life’s scary, Mike…” You sighed. “College is scary, adult life is scary too…” Your voice died out. 

“Are you seriously okay?” Dustin asked sitting in front of you. 

You chuckled bitterly and opened your eyes, revealing your tearful stare to him. 

“No, not really…” 

“What’s the matter?” Dustin asked. 

“You know you can trust us, right? I mean, we’re not the closest of friends but…We do consider you our friend. Everyone at Hellfire…” Mike said looking at you as you lifted your head from his shoulder and cleaned the tears slipping down your face. 

“Thank you. Mike…” You whispered. 

“Did you and Eddie have a fight or something?” Dustin inquired. 

“Why would you assume this has anything to do with Eddie?” You said With a bitter chuckle as your eyes continued to tear up exposing the truth of Dustin’s assumptions.

“You…like him…don’t you?” Dustin guessed.

“What?” You barked.

 “Ah I-I mean…sometimes we had the impression that you…liked him? You know? But I–we know you two are best friends…” Mike quickly intervened. 

Sighing deeply, you let your head fall back against the tree. Your eyes shut closed, as you felt them get even more tearful and several tears even fell down your closed eyes. Mike and Dustin exchanged worried stares, not sure how to help or what to say even. 

“So is it that obvious?” You purred.

“So you…really like him? Like…like him?” Mike asked. 

“Yes, Mike. I like him. A fucking lot, actually…” You hissed, refusing to open your eyes. 

“So…I guess you heard…” Dustin muttered. 

“What exactly?” You whispered, swallowing the knot in your throat. 

“I-I…I bet it’s just some stupid rumor…” Dustin stuttered. “I-I bet it’s…not even real…”

“Cut the chase, Dust…Please”

“Eddie and Chrissy kissed…But…Eddie told us she was trying to get her mind off Jason…they broke up earlier that day…And he said he had seen you with Bradley and…”

“Dustin, if Eddie told you himself then it’s not a rumour…” You snapped, finally opening your eyes and meeting his worried stare. “He kissed Chrissy, big deal. I kissed Brad…We’re both mature enough to deal with it, Dust…”

“Well…it doesn’t seem like it…” He whispered.

“Look, we’re worried because both Eddie and you have been acting weird the entire day. And not just that…When Eddie told us about Brad, he seemed pretty pissed about Brad kissing you…” Mike called your name. “You do realise that Eddie has feelings for you too, right? Of course he’s going to be pi—“

“What did you say?” You cut him off.

“That Eddie has feelings for you?”

“Oh my god, the both of you really are very blind or incredibly stupid,” You frowned at Dustin’s remark. “Eddie has feelings for you. He got mad at Brad for kissing you. It made him jealous which was why he kissed Chrissy!” 

“Did he tell you that?” You asked.

“No, but it’s not hard to deduce, Jesus. Seeing the both of you pinning for each other is actually very painful…” Dustin scoffed. 

The rest of your day at school, Dustin’s words kept circling your mind, dragging you deeper and deeper into the same thought spiral. Although there was something that didn’t add up. You had seen Eddie and Chrissy making out before you even kissed Brad. However, if what Dustin had said was true, then the day you spent hangover at Eddie’s place was nothing but bittersweet torture not only for you but for him too. Thinking you could’ve finally confessed your feelings for him and perhaps make things better. Perhaps, if that had happened, you’d be with him instead of Chrissy. 

An arm around your shoulders snapped you out of your thoughts abruptly as you flinched and looked over your shoulder to find Bradly next to you. 

“Got any plans for today?” Brad asked cheerfully as you glanced over at him “I’ve got to admit, I didn’t expect the little photographer to be such a good kisser…” He purred leaning closer to you.

“Jesus, Brad. Get away from me…I was drunk, I thought you knew how this worked. You make out with someone at a party, you move on” You said gently pushing him away from you.

 “Not every day I get hard from just a kiss” He purred against your ear, making you shiver and glared at him. 

“Gross dude…” You groaned and pushed him away from you once again “Not interested…Sorry”

“Oh seriously, are you still head over heels for that freak! Even after what he did?” He snapped as you stopped dead on your tracks. 

Turning around you glared at him. Not sure as to what he meant exactly.

“He left the party with Chrissy, people saw them making out, and then, they were leaving. Together,” 

You knew Eddie had dropped Chrissy at her place, because you were with them. You had woken up in Eddie’s bedroom, and Eddie had slept in the living room. Sure, Eddie and Chrissy kissed, but nothing else happened between them. At least not that night.

“Fuck off, Brad” You hissed not really caring what he had to say or thing about it as you were ready to leave when he dared to talk again.

 “Seriously, what’s with that guy? Why is suddenly everyone interested in him? He’s poor and a stupid freak who holds satanic cults and thinks he’s better than everyone else—“

“You just resent him because the girl who gave you a boner actually wants him. And apparently now Chrissy Cunningham’s after him too!” You snapped interrupting him as you spun on your toes once more and gave him a cold stare “You’re pathetic, Brad…Like talking shit about my best friend is going to make me suddenly want to sleep with you…Fuck off–“ Brad took two long steps and gripped you by the shoulders, slamming you to the closest lockers as you whined loudly. 

People starting to gather closer as they’d heard the arguing and the yelling, and suddenly the sound of something hitting the lockers caught everyone’s attention even further.

“Listen here you little bitch,” Brad growled, “You’re just as much as a piece of shit as that motherfu–" 

Before you could even register what had happened, Brad fell to the ground. And you understood that the quick flash of silver you’d seen was Eddie’s fist flying towards Brad’s jaw. His left hand, the one covered with the most and biggest rings. Despite Eddie being right handed, of course he was going to throw a punch with his left hand.

“Do not touch her” Eddie threatening with a grim stare, his black eyes looking deadly.

 “Oh, came back to claim what’s yours?” Brad laughed, as Eddie’s eyes darkened and a rather creepy smile spread across his cheeks.

“Fuck off dude. Her not wanting to fuck you it’s not her problem. Most women in this school don’t either” He replied calmly, seeing the way Brad’s smile dissipated. 

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” Brad barked.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked raising an eyebrow, barely caring what Brad had to say about him.

“Kissing another girl when your allegedly best friend is head over heels for you. Enduring that must be painful, doesn’t it?” The jock said, his gaze moving to meet yours.

“Brad, stop” You said in a low voice.

“And not just that," Brad looked back at Eddie “you decided to go after the big fish and kissed none other than Chrissy Fucking Cunningham…Imagine having to compete with someone with her calibre…” Brad said turning to you “that’s rough competition…” 

“I’m sick and tired of your bullshit, Brad.” You snapped, feeling your eyes get teary, as his words had pierced exactly through your insecurities “You’re graduating this week, stop flicking acting like a middle school boy, grow up” You spat sourly and walked out of the circle. 

“I’m not done with you, you little bitch!” Eddie ignored Brad as he followed you, noticing the way you had clenched your jaw and looked down before walking away. “Oh, you are running away too? Fucking cowards, you deserve each other!” Bradley shouted as the two of you walked along the hall with long quick steps.

An uncomfortable buzz in your ears as you bit your lower lip, and took big breaths to keep the tears from spilling. A lump on your throat as you kept circling around what Brad had said, and how true you believed his words to be. Chrissy was perfect. She was cute, nice, laid back, petite, pretty, confident…Many things you could only aspire to be. And considering how high you thought of Eddie, she seemed a lot more deserving of him than you did. And that thought alone crushed your soul.

“Hey, are you alright?” Eddie said managing to get a hold of your arm, as you stopped abruptly and turned around. 

“No, Eddie, I am most definitely not okay” You barked.

“Hey, talk to me–“ 

“Sure, that’s a great idea!” You interrupted him sarcastically, “Okay so, where do I start? I am so deeply in love with my best friend and it’s cliche and stupid. We went to a party, I saw him talk to the most popular and pretty girl in school, but they appeared to be flirting with each other, so I got mad and drunk and made out with the biggest asshole I could find at the party. I did it out of pettiness, but jokes on me because I just embarrassed myself out there because of my funny little revenge…”

Eddie’s eyebrows lifted in concern as his eyes suddenly changed and now looked concerned and confused. 

“People are saying you and Chrissy left together and everyone is assuming the two of you slept together, which I know to be a lie because I was there, I spent the night over at your place and stayed the entire next day getting over my hangover, you watching over me. And correct me if I’m wrong, but we spent the entirety of the afternoon cuddling and holding hands, and I thought perhaps we were going to pretend like the party didn’t happen in the first place! But I get here and everyone is talking about it, Chrissy is looking for you, and people tell me you’re hanging out with her and I can’t help but get jealous, Edward!” 

Now Eddie had an uncomfortable buzz in his ears, and his heart felt heavier. 

“And now Brad is bitter because I don’t want to sleep with him and apparently you’re now popular because Chrissy is interested in you…And I can’t even be mad at you because seriously, Chrissy is such a catch. I’m happy for you…Seriously. You two actually look cute together”

The whole time you’re talking, Eddie could feel his own heart sinking and dropping all the way to the floor. Silent tears escaping your eyes only making him feel guilty. You sounded mad, but he can tell from the look in your eyes you actually felt sad, broken even. And the only one he could point fingers at is at himself. He did this to you. The girl he had been so in love with, not only happened to correspond to his feelings. But he had to find out in the worst way possible. And it was too late to fix it without hurting anyone else in the process. 

And when he watched you turn around and resume your walking, his own heart began to break. 

 “Wait— Sweetheart—“ He began.

“Eddie, stop!” You snapped looking at him. “Leave me alone for a while, okay? I need to think, besides, I have a job interview and I don’t want to show up with my eyes all red and puffy” You said and turned back around, leaving through the door. 

Right, Eddie remembered. You had told him you’d managed to schedule an interview with the photographer at the Hawkins Post and you were going to try and get a job there over the summer to save some money for New York and gather some experience to write down in your curriculum. He had forgotten the interview was today. In a couple of hours specifically. His throat closed even tighter, making it harder for him to breathe. He had told you he was going to take you there himself. Now he guessed he wouldn’t.

As he turned around after you disappeared behind the main door, he found Chrissy. Her big wide eyes looking concerned and worried. 

“I am so, so sorry…” He whispered.

You skipped the last period and left school one hour earlier to be able to cry peacefully on your way back home and get a shower before the interview. Eddie, however, stayed. After the last bell of the day rang, and people were soon escaping the building like it was on fire. Eddie dragged his feet to the Hellfire Club classroom to get some of his things he had there. Being the last week of school, he needed to take everything he wanted to take with him, or else leave it there for the future generations. And he wasn’t sure why he’d gone there in the first place. The things he wanted to keep were usually in his backpack or his van. 

Perhaps he was dreading the walk to his van. He’d normally meet up with you outside his van, and you’d go to grab lunch or something before heading back to his place to waste the afternoon away. But he knew you weren’t going to be there. And suddenly, driving on his own seemed like the last thing he wanted. Sitting in silence with his thoughts…Just no. And even risking seeing Chrissy in the halls. She’d seen everything that happened with Brad. And she was chasing after the both of you when you snapped at Eddie before leaving. He hadn’t talked to Chrissy about it, he simply apologized and left; and even though he knew he needed to, he didn’t feel like doing so right now. His mind was still all over the place.

He kept thinking of Chrissy and you. Sure, before spring break he felt that funny feeling in his gut after he made his drug deal with Chrissy. And he knew she felt it too. What he didn’t expect was meeting you in detention right after the break was over. The same funny feeling in his gut, but this was was different. It was warmer. The instant attraction and chemistry felt like a riptide. He simply met you, and from then on, he was met by some sort of gravitational force pulling him towards you. Becoming close friends in the span of a weeks was something that had never happened to him before. And he doubted it was going to happen to him again.

“Eddie?” Dustin’s voice echoed followed by the creek of the door opening. 

“Henderson, fancy seeing you here, you little dwarf” Eddie said looking at him with a hollow smile.

“How are you?” 

“Nostalgic, really. I’m going to miss Hellfire…” Eddie replied, knowing what Dustin meant but completely avoiding it.

“I mean…I heard what happened…” Dustin muttered as he walked inside the classroom.

“God, people really like to talk about other people’s lives. How boring must their own lives be?” Eddie replied, avoiding the topic. Again.

“I’m sorry for what happened…” Dustin whispered your name, making Eddie’s heart skip a painful beat. “She…I know she means a lot to you…” 

“Dustin, have I not made it clear that I do not wish to talk about this?” He said gently interrupting him as his smile faded and met Dustin’s honey eyes. 

 “Maybe you should, you know? But talk to her...tell her everything, I know you like her as much as she likes you…" Eddie rolled his eyes at Dustin. “And, well, you know her…she’s not exactly the most confident nor popular girl, think how she must feel about this…” Eddie’s heart shrunk 

“So I’m the bad guy now?” Eddie barked defensively.

“What? No! Not at all! This is just a communication problem…you two are best friends, you’ll be able to figure something out…” Dustin quickly added.

“Yeah, well…she’s moving to New York in two months…there’s nothing much I can do…” Eddie scoffed. “We can talk and cry about it, go back to being friends, sure, but then what Henderson? We confess our love for each other and decide to walk into the sunset holding hands and kiss under the moonlight, then what? She moves away and I stay here? You have a girlfriend, Henderson. You know how long distance relationships are hard. And now add that she’s going to go there for college…College and High School are not the same, man” Eddie spat, the tension building in his chest feeling slightly relieved, despite the fact that his eyes were getting tearful. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m someone who needs to be able to hold his girlfriend and kiss her and show her around like a badge of honor—” 

“Then go with her to New York” Dustin interrupted, as Eddie stopped right away and stared at him.

 “What?” 

“You heard me” 

“I can’t just pack up and go to New York…” Eddie chuckled bitterly.

“Why not? You want to make a living out of playing your guitar, don’t you? Don’t you think achieving that in New York might be actually easier than staying in Hawkins?”

Eddie’s mind became blank.

That evening, he climbed the tree next to your house up to your window as he peeked inside and found you sitting in your bed with a bunch of photos spread on your bed. It would’ve been a very cute scene if he hadn’t made you cry earlier and he still felt guilty about it. He tapped gently on the glass breaking you away from your trance as you got out of your bed and went to your window sliding it open.

“What the hell are you doing? You know you can use my door right? My parents love you” You explained.

Eddie’s smile soon dropped into a puzzled face as his eyebrows raised and eyes widened in confusion.

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah…my dad knows his 9pm curfew is ridiculous, but he actually likes that you respect it and drive me home by 9, even when we stay on the sidewalk hanging out afterwards, even if we stay out there until very late… He appreciates that you do get me home by 9 always…” You chuckled softly as you moved away and let him in.

“Well in that case, next time I decide to visit late at night I will use the door…” He said with a cheeky smile and looked around your room, noticing the little details everywhere, thinking how much your room felt yours.

“Why are you here, Ed?” You whispered awkwardly as Eddie looked at you with tender eyes and a soft smile.

“Just wanted to see my bestie,” He replied with a shrug, managing to make you chuckle lightly and nod.

“Well, here I am” You said walking back to your bed.

“How did the interview go?” He asked as he followed you and gazed at some of the pictures as you picked them up and set them on the side table, making space for him.

“Good, I think. I talked to the photographer and said that he was going to talk to the editor…Kept some of my photos and told me to go on a few trial days next week…” You explained.

“That’s a good sign, right?” Eddie said excitedly as you couldn’t help but smile at him despite the subtle heartache. 

 “Yeah, I think so”

“Congrats” Eddie said pulling you in a genuine and tight hug. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you buried your face in his shoulder. And after a few seconds. you noticed he didn’t back out from the hug. His arms suddenly feeling too warm and soft around you, as his smell pierced through your nose. You could feel something radiating from his body into yours, a warm and comforting sensation that soon made your eyes tearful and heart beat fast. The memories of what had happened in the last days flooded your mind and you sobbed silently, hugging him tighter. 

Eddie felt your shoulders stiffen before you clung to him and he knew immediately what was going on. He kissed your head and burying his face in your hair, taking in the sweet smell of your shampoo. 

“I’m sorry,” He purred. “About earlier…Not my best moment...or the last few days for that matter. The last thing I even wanted to do was hurt you, out of everyone at school, you…” He said breaking the hug and cupping your face in his hands as he wiped away the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re the most precious thing that school has, you know?” He whispered as you rolled your eyes playfully, and he chuckled. “I mean it! Sure, Chrissy may be the queen of Hawkins High, and Jason may be the town’s celebrity, but next to you, they seem so small…” He purred. 

“Oh please,” You said as your hands reached his wrists. 

“No, seriously, sweetheart” He whispered smiling and leaning closer to you, bumping his forehead to yours. “You’ve got a heart of gold,” He said, repeating what you had said in your drunken state, words he was positive you didn’t remember. “Until today I never saw you snap at anyone before, you’re always so kind and nice…second, you’re so smart it made me smart…” You giggled looking away as he followed you with his stare “I mean it! You’re the first person who actually succeeded at tutoring me, enough to get a much higher grade than I needed. And out of everyone from the senior year, you got the coolest college opportunity...Seriously…New York? Everyone else is either going to Indianapolis or staying here in Hawkins…You? You’re going to the Big Apple!” 

“Stop!” You giggled, getting flustered. 

“And last but not least, I take pride in being a freak, really, I do. And most of the things I do, I do them to piss people off…But never have I ever felt so contempt of who I am until I realized you genuinely enjoyed who I am…You make me want to become better…That is something completely new to me…" his voice died out calling your name. “You said earlier you were deeply in love with your best friend...Which is perfect for me because I am too, deeply in love with my best friend…So much it hurt and felt hopeless when you told me you were moving to New York, so much I tried to look for something, anything that could help me get over my feelings for you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left…” He said, his dark eyes glued to yours as he leaned forward again, his forehead bumping against yours and the tip of his nose brushing yours. “But I ended up hurting you…And trust me, that was the last thing I wanted to do…”

“Ed…” You whispered with your heart climbing all the way to your throat and you closed your eyes. 

Without giving it much of a thought, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. His breath hitched, not actually expecting you to be the one who sealed the kiss. He was still contempt and surprised. He kissed you back. His lips locking with yours in what was a shy kiss at first. Your lips infinitely sweeter and softer than Chrissy’s, perfectly molding with his as you quickly stole his breath away. 

He moaned gently against your mouth, making your heart race even further. Your hands grabbed his flannel shirt, slowly climbing up his chest until one of your hands made it to the back of his head, tangling with his messy curly hair as you pulled his closer. 

He took this as his cue to deepen the kiss, a soft groan escaping his throat. Moving closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, squeezing your chest against him. At once his arms mirrored yours and snaked around you, squeezing you against him, stealing a moan off of you into his mouth, making his blood warm up. His hands slid down your back as you broke the kiss and pulled your legs on top of the bed, breathlessly staring at Eddie. Your heart beating in your throat, as you cupped his face and brought him close for another kiss before he could even say something. 

Kissing you back, he smirked against your lips and moved closer to you. You slowly layer on the bed, pulling him on top of you. Wasting no time, he tried kicking off his boots but struggled. 

“Wait, baby…” He purred sitting on the bed and rushing to take off his boots as you chuckled and sat up, looking at him tenderly.  

After he did, he looked at you and smiled. You noticed the rosy tone in his cheeks, making your heart about to jump out of your chest. 

“Hey…” You purred softly. 

“Hey,” He giggled and climbed back on top of you as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him. 

He quickly melted into the kiss, leaning down and resting some of his weight on top of you as you welcomed him and wrapped your legs around his narrow waist. Pulling him closer, you moaned shyly upon feeing his hips against yours. 

Your moan echoed in Eddie’s head as he broke the kiss and started kissing your neck. Stretching your neck to grant him better access to your skin, your breath hitched as his warm lips slid down your neck. 

His name escaped your lips, making a shiver run down his spine as he bit your shin, his teeth gently sinking on the base of your neck as another moan, slightly louder, came out of your mouth. His blood rushing everywhere in his body as he smirked. 

“You liked that, babygirl?” He purred, dragging his lips up your neck to your ear.

“Ye-yes…”. You whispered as you felt your own cheeks grow hotter and hotter. 

He bit your neck again, slightly underneath your ear, making you arch your back and grip his hair. The gentle tug made him groan softly as one of his hands slid underneath your shirt. His fingers caressed your hip, not moving much as if waiting for permission. The sweet and needy whimper that came of your mouth soon after was the answer he needed as his hand roamed your body underneath your shirt. Noticing the way your skin got covered in goosebumps and your breath deepened made his pants feel uncomfortably tighter. 

“Talk to me, Princess…” He purred seductively. “Do you like this?” You whined. 

“Ye-yes…” You whispered. “I-I do…”

Amused by your shyness, he pulled back and looked at you attentively, wanting to see the reactions he managed to pull from you. 

“Can I take this off?” He murmured, referring to your shirt.

His gentle voice caressing your ears and making your crotch ache desperately as you nodded and stuttered and affirmative. 

“Only of you take off yours too…” You said. 

“Ah, m’lady wants conditions equality, I can respect that…” He giggled mischievously as he pulled back and took off his red plaid shirt along with his Iron Maiden shirt. 

You could feel your heart beating everywhere in your body as you stared at him. Hypnotized by all of him as you wondered if this was actually happening. After throwing his shirts to your floor, he wasted no time pulling your shirt off of you as his lips quickly attached to your shoulders and chest, his hands idly playing with the straps of your bra, pulling them down your shoulders. 

“You know…Condition equality includes this as well…” He purred as his fingers gently tugged on your bra, making you shiver. 

“Smartass,” You chuckled. 

“I’m just stating the facts, love” He sand as he ran a thumb over your skin, teasing your breast as he followed the cup’s curve, dangerously close to your nipple. “But I’ll wait for Ground Control’s instructions…” He said kissing your chest right underneath your clavicle. 

“Just take the goddamn thing off…” You scoffed as Eddie’s big curious eyes looked at you with fascination. 

“Desperate, are we?” 

“Just a little…” You admitted, feeling the heat rising up as Eddie’s hands snuck behind your back to undo the clip.

“Just a little…” He repeated.

As he let your bra fall off your bed, he wasted no time kissing your skin. Every now and then teasing you with his teeth, sucking on it, making sure he left some sort of evidence of what was going to happen. Always gentle, he noticed the particular shyness with which you reacted to his ministrations. He went slow, learning how to distinguish every sound and movement you made, and trying to learn the unspoken language of your body. 

Always aware that you weren’t perhaps the most experienced in these things, he asked for your permission for everything. If it was okay to touch or kiss somewhere, if he could take your pants off. And the tender and caring manner, along with his big doe eyes, it was impossible to resist him. Your mind spiraling out of control,as you wanted nothing more that to enjoy your night with him. You wanted nothing more than to feel him all around you. 

Once the both of you were completely naked, kissing and tasting each other’s skin, mapping everything little detail in a beautiful lovely memory, and once you’d made your way underneath the covers of your bed, it all felt too intimate. Sure, you were insanely nervous for what was going to happen, but you were also excited for it. 

As Eddie nestled between your legs, his erection gently resting on your belly, throbbing with anticipation, he had you locked in an intoxicating kiss. The heat of his body radiating into yours, as your legs around him kept him close. Hanging from the very last string of his salinity, waiting for your green like to move forward.

You broke the kiss, catching your breath.

"Wa-wait, Ed…” You stuttered shyly.

“What is it, princess?” He murmured pulling back and staring at you.

“There’s something you’ve got to know first…” The words dragging out of your mouth as you felt your cheeks grow hot at the slight embarrassment, Eddie however had been slowly putting the pieces together based on your reactions.

“We don’t have to do this of you don’t want…” He purred kissing your forehead. 

“I-I know…But I do want to…with you…” His heart stopped at the sincere look in your eyes and your words getting stuck in his brain. He smirked.

“Oh baby I’m honored…” He began, his cheeky smirk spreading as his heart almost jumped out of your  “But you know if we do this, we’re gonna have to marry asap and have my kids right? I’m thinking at least four…” He teased, managing to make you giggle.

“Oh shut up, you don’t believe that bullshit…” Eddie laughed at your remark. 

“No, not at all…” He purred as he “But, if we do this…You’ll be mine, and trust me, I don’t give up easily on what’s mine…” His voice grew seductive as he leaned forward and pecked your lips.

“What does that mean?” You giggled.

“I’ll follow you till the end of the world. Or until you tell me to…” He smiled and kissed you slowly, his lips locking with yours as one of his hands slid down your body down to your hips. “If you want me to stop or go slower, just tell me…Tonight everything’s about you, baby” He whispered.

You nodded. 

His hand slid down all the way to your thigh, now going up, closer and closer to your needy hole. His finger ran up and down your wet slick, as he smirked, proud that he had you like that. 

Your breath hitched as he watched your reaction attentively. His thumb circled your clit softly, watching you shit your eyes closed and moan softly, as you pushed your head back. Fascinated, he felt his mouth grow thirsty as he continued staring at you, hypnotized by your reactions. 

“Can I?” He asked, his index finger sliding to your entrance, teasing you, as his finger continued to get more and more covered in your arousal. 

“Please,” You begged. 

His finger very slowly sank inside of you, feeling your tight walls clenching around it, as a soft whimper escaped your throat. He kissed you sweetly, silencing your cry. 

“Silence, baby…You don’t want your parents hearing and walking on us, now do you?” He muttered. 

“N-no…” You stuttered. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“It’s just…weird…” You murmured. 

“It’ll soon feel good, I promise…” He pressed his forehead to yours.

He continued fingering you. Slowly, patiently exploring your velvet walls, once again guided by your reactions as he allowed you to get used to the feeling. Quickening his pace and eventually sliding a second finger in. Your sweet quiet moans fueling him, making him desperate to claim you as his, growing addicted to the beautiful sounds you made and the way you so desperately called his name. He kept going, building up a rhythm you could easily grow used to, until he had you cumming around his fingers. Proud of the mess the made of you, his cramped fingers still buried deep inside you, he took in the gorgeous image of your body slightly shaky and covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

“Fuck, your beautiful…” He purred. 

“Kiss me, Eddie…“ You whined. “Kiss me, please” 

Obediently, he kissed you, swallowing your whines as he could taste the universe in your mouth. His heart full and body hot, he slowly pulled his fingers out, pulling a soft grunt out of you. One he gladly drank from your kiss as well. As the world came back to focus, you clung to him, being painfully away of his length still on your belly. You shivered at the thought of eventually having it inside you. 

“E-Eddie…” You whispered breathless. “I want you” You purred. 

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he smiled and looked at you, his black eyes devouring you with adoration. 

“Your wish is my command, baby…” He muttered as he wasted no time, running his wet fingers over his erection, coating his dick with your arousal and positioning himself against your entrance. 

He looked at you one last time for consent as you gave him a shy nod. And with that, he pushed inside of you. Slowly. Very slowly. A gasp caught in his throat, as your tight walls seemed to squeeze around him, gently sucking him as you covered your own mouth with one of your hands, muffling the moan fighting its way out. Feeling ecstatic, he closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet feeling of your warmth surrounding him as he bottomed out. As he went all in, he looked down, watching his pelvis connecting to yours, getting another shiver down his back. He smirked and leaned down, kissing your cheek. 

“You’re all mine now…” He whispered kissing your jaw as you arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. 

“I’m yours, Eddie…” God, your words made him light headed as he started moving in and out of you, slow at first. 

Eddie, who had a few encounters here and there wasn’t exactly crazy about sex. Sure, he had his kinks and had fun every time he had the chance to have sex, but he wasn’t someone who’s actively go around flirting with people, looking for someone to take back to his bed. But this, with you, oh, he could definitely see himself getting addicted to doing this with you. It was far more than just the sex and the adrenaline running through his veins. It was the intimacy of it. Your body so close to his, your whispers and moans cooing him, the way your touch set him on fire. Sex had never felt this good before. 

His thrusts going deeper and deeper and getting faster and faster, he still remained collected, reminding himself that this was your first time. Besides, he loved attentively watching the way you moved and reacted. The way you opened your mouth and said nonsense with every push. The way your face got all flustered every time he praised you. And god, the way you told him over and over you were his. And only his. His heart beating alongside yours as you both shared this moment, getting drunk and lost in each other, as every piece of your heart was on the table. Caught fire, and skin tingling. It was such an addictive feeling.

What were you doing to him?

Nothing in his life had ever felt so gratifying as that moment right there. And he knew he did not want to let you go. Not when you left to New York, not ever. He would definitely keep his word and follow you to the end of the world. 

Low moans and sweet nothings dissipated in the air, caught between the hungry kisses of two lovers. Their bodies melting together and the pleasure increasing with every second, thirsty for that high at the end of the road. The ecstasy of both of your orgasm condensing slowly. Eddie cumming shortly before you, but not stopping until you were pushed off the edge as well. Blissfully giving in to that relaxing burn and tingling his entire body, washing over him as your walls clenched around him, and he moaned with his face nuzzled against your neck. 

Once the both of you came off your highs, Eddie was still lying on top of you, catching his breath as his entire body melted on top of yours, relaxed, ready to fall asleep for the next several weeks. He hummed softly and kissed your chest.

You stared at Eddie with melting eyes, smiling at the sight of him leaving small pecks all over your skin.  He eventually noticed you staring at him and blushed lightly. 

"What?” He whispered. 

“You meant that?” You asked with a low purr. 

“What exactly?” He hummed slightly sleepy resting his chin over your chest, staring at you with sleepy eyes.

“That you’ll follow me till the end of the world?” He smiled and closed his eyes.

“Definitely” He purred.

“Does that include New York?”  

“Especially New York…” He replied at once.

“Really?” 

“Is it so hard to believe?” He chuckled softly “I don’t think I ever felt like this about someone…Not to sound like a slut, but I’ve had my fair share of flash romances and one night stands, and none of them sparked in me whatever it is you did…” He said as you stared at him, and ran a finger through his hair, brushing a misplaced strand of hair off his face, “I’d never felt so scared of losing someone…I do want to be with you…whether if it’s here, or in New York…if you tell me you want to pack up and go walking to Argentina, I’ll go too…” 

You smiled, considering his words, biting your lower lip.

“That actually sounds like a good idea…” You said.

“Argentina?” 

“A sabbatical year before college…Perhaps not spend the entire year but…working and saving up money for six months, and then go to Argentina…” You wondered, as Eddie’s smile spread.

“Can we take a small detour to Brazil?” You giggled at his proposal.

“We can go anywhere…” You replied, noticing the dumbfounded smile he was giving you “What?” You asked.

“I seriously am in love with you…” He sighed lifting himself up on his elbows “I know, it’s cringy, saying this right after we had sex for the first time but…” He chuckled at his own comment “I’ve had feelings for you for some time now…” 

“How long?” You murmured curiously.

“I always found you pretty, but since you were often hanging around all sorts of popular crowds, I didn’t really feel like approaching you…” He began “After we met, boy, I wish I had talked to you earlier. You’re nothing like them and you’re far cooler than anyone else in that school…I was smitten after that time we went to have Chinese? Do you remember?” 

“That was literally the week after the detention thing” 

“Exactly!” Eddie said gawking “And when you showed me your portfolio that same day with all your favorite pictures, man, I felt like I’d jumped down a cliff and fell on my face” You blushed.

“Since then?” You giggled. 

“I’m pathetic, I know…” He chuckled. 

“No, you’re not…” You kissed his cheek. “For me it was when you introduced me to your uncle…” 

“What?” You giggled at his confused reaction.

“Yeah…You know you look at him in a very particular way?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” 

“Like you’re immensely grateful to him…And like you genuinely care for him, I saw that look and thought ‘Man, I wish someone ever looked at me that way…’” 

“Yeah well,” Eddie chuckled, blushing lightly “He took me in after my asshole dad ended in prison…I knew having to watch over me and practically raise me was rough for him, I was a kid but I wasn’t stupid, I saw it was hard for him in the begining, and I felt like a burden, but he never complained, though…” Eddie sighed as his eyes suddenly got lost in the distance as he recalled his childhood memories “He never got mad, he was always nice and gentle with me…” Eddie chuckled meeting your stare again “He bought me my first guitar and signed me up for classes after he once found me playing with a broom, pretending it was a guitar while I jammed to Pink Floyd…” 

“That’s cute…” You whispered smiling, feeling a gentle squeeze in your chest upon seeing that sweet spark in Eddie’s eyes. 

“I owe everything to that old man…” He sighed deeply “Specially now because, thanks to him, the girl of my dreams loves me back” He smirked.

 Giggling, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a small peck.

“Thank you for helping me sneak out of detention…” You whispered.

“You’re very welcome, love” He smirked. 

~~~~~~

I hope you liked this one! Please make sure to leave a like, a comment or a reblog, help spread my work please! I also have a few more (considerably shorter) Eddie fics and a few fic recs in my blog if you're interested!

[kuraitsune]

could i have a vox x reader x shu poly 😋 i never see people talk about poly relationships and i love them both so much 😭

PARiNGS - ...Vox Akuma x GN!reader x Shu Yamino

MENTiONS - ...no one else!

SUMMARY - ...waking early really isn't great, and sometimes food is just the right thing to fix the day up!

READER'S PROFiLE - ...you are you!

DiSCLAiMERS - this fic is written by my friend, then I edited it! please know that these writings are a work of fiction and are the appearance and persona of the character! not the person behind the screen.

"[name]~…[name]~…[name]!" a very disturbing shaking of your body woke you up, turns out it was Vox trying to get you awake. Opening your eyes slightly, you see Shu still asleep, just snoring on the other side.

"What…? It's so early in the morning… can't we sleep longer?" you turn to see it's 6AM on your phone, the contrast from the dark and light almost blinding your eyes.

"Look I know it's really early, but I was thinking…maybe~ we could go and get some food soon. Me, personally, I'm really hungry," the voice demon continued trying to get you to get out of bed.

"Let…Us sleep…" Shu shuffled around, mumbling in his sleep, only slightly aware of what's happening.

"Come onnnn… I forgot to eat last night when I came home, I saw you guys sleeping and thought 'Oh! Why not go and sleep with them?' So I forgot to eat… pleaseeeeee…" you rolled your eyes, though eventually agreeing to the whines of the darker haired man.

After a while of laying in bed and trying to fall back asleep, Vox eventually wakes the two of you up, picking you up bridal style to the bathroom. "I just started your shower, just how you like it. So I'll leave you to do your stuff, don't be long dear."

He carefully shut the door, leaving you to stare at the mirror to wake up for a second. Finally, you finally decide to get in the shower and start to shower.

A loud pounding sound rang through the bathroom, the voice of the sorcerer getting picked up by your ears, "[name]! Hurry up! We've been waiting and you've been in there for 40 minutes now!"

"I’m almost done! Don't be such a prick!" you responded, a bit ticked off. You quickly ran out of the shower to get into clothes. Just as you went to open up the door and meet them, Vox froze in place, about to knock on the door again.

"Oh, at least I don't have to ask again. Shu's trying his hardest to stay awake waiting, he'd probably fall asleep again if you didn't finish up in the next minute," you softly laughed at his half-jokingly sarcasm, and headed out to the car. They ended up at a nice breakfast court to eat at last.

"[nickname], can I sit next to you today? Vox sat next to you last time we went out, so…?" Shu begged you, as you confusedly looked at him.

"Hey, we already share the same bed! Why can't we share them like normal?" Vox popped into the conversation, crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows at the shorter sorcerer.

"What about you two sit next to each other and I'll sit on the other side, so I don't have to worry about anything?" you giggled, just admiring the two.

NOTE - hi, kura here! as it was said before, this fic is made my lovely friend who would like to stay anonymous. i hope that was fine for the anon who requested this! (the reason why i let my friend write this was bc i've been extremely busy of the late! with other reqs & my own life)

hope you enjoyed this fic~

DO NOT: repost or copy any of @kuraitsune's works! sharing is fine with credits.

[aphrodite-made-me-write-it]

Habits - Part 2

(A/N) this ended up longer than i meant it to be bc i was editing it and thought,, lemme add more. dunno. anyway, hope yall enjoy! staying up late to work on some oneshots and the series update a;lskdf;lak figured i’d queue them as i finished them. almost midnight, so fingers crossed! once again, read that fic i linked in the first part bc it’s fantastic and send that author love.

Rating: E (Explicit for p0rn with minimal plot. it’s more relevant in this chapter, i think, but it’s v much just smut. 18+ only)

Warnings: fuckboy!yelena; PISSED!Natasha; R gets railed by a strap on; yelena is the jealous type; natwanda is very background sorry; emotionally abusive parents; mentions of past physical abuse; dw r’s parents are p much ignored in this lmfao they play such a minor role i kinda forgot they existed lowkey; this is a bit angstier than the first

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (background)

Chapter Word Count: 10.8k

Total Word Count: 30.1k

Synopsis: It’s been a few years since you last saw your childhood best friend, Natasha, and her little sister, Yelena. Transferring colleges leads to you needing a roommate, and that roommate just so happens to be Natasha. Not much has changed between you, you’re still thick as thieves. Her sister, however, is a completely different story.

OR: The part where you build a glass castle and it comes crashing down.

| Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

not my gif

Russian Translations: Malyskha - Babygirl / Milaya - Sweetie / Kratsoka - Gorgeous / Lyubov’ - Love / Dorogoy - Darling

-

You wake up feeling way more relaxed than usual. You can’t recall having slept so soundly in your life, and the bed feels so much more comfy and warm than you can remember it ever being. You turn over, snuggling deeper into the blanket that feels strangely human.

Wait.

You open your eyes and nearly jump out of your skin when you meet a sleepy green gaze. Yelena blinks slowly as she takes you in, the gears in her mind still slow with the morning. 

“Natasha is going to murder me.” You whisper, moreso to yourself than Yelena.

The blonde stretches her arms and legs with a long groan, releasing you from her hold so that you can sit up as much as you can on the stupid couch. You force your gaze away from her naked body, instead focusing on the hall leading to the front door.

“Doubt it,” Yelena says at last, her already deep voice even huskier with sleep. Oh god. She’s so hot. “I won’t let her.”

“You’re her little sister.”

“Yes, and?”

“And I’m her best friend.”

“And…?”

“And she’s going to kill me.” You whine, biting your lip. 

Yelena scoffs. “Shouldn’t the person on top be the one she kills? How does she know I didn’t seduce you?”

“I don’t think she’ll care, seeing as you’re her-”

“Oh, enough with that shit.” Yelena sits up, doesn’t even bother to cover her chest. “You want this. You want me. I know you do.”

You meet her eyes uncertainly, but you don’t deny it. Why lie now, when she’s already proven her point? “But if she-”

“I’m an adult. You’re an adult. We’re adults who want to have sex.” She shrugs. “She can’t do anything about it.” You’re finding it harder and harder to resist that logic when she keeps looking at you with obvious want. Sensing your crumbling resolve, Yelena continues: “If you really don’t want to, we can stop. But I think you do want to.” She leans in close, her breath warm on your ear. “I know you want to. You were practically dripping last night, malyshka.”

You inhale sharply. Yelena smirks, clearly well aware of what she’s doing to you. Your heart is hammering in your ears, thunderous. “We can’t let her find out.” It’s a pathetic whisper, because you’re desperate for a way out of this that doesn’t ruin your entire friendship with one or both of your favorite human beings.

“You have a beautiful mind,” Yelena purrs, beginning to pepper kisses along your neck. “And a beautiful body,” her hand finds yours where you’re covering your breasts. She eases your hands, her kisses skirting along your collarbone. 

You move your hands to cup her cheeks, redirecting her mouth onto yours. Yelena hums, smiling with her victory. She maneuvers herself on top of you, easing you onto your back while her tongue and teeth make you forget everything but her.

Your phone buzzes from somewhere on the floor. You freeze. Yelena sighs, lets you reach around blindly for your jeans. Several missed texts - and calls - from Natasha, and another text from Carol.

Natasha’s don’t surprise you.

did you make it home ok? (11:23pm)

your silence tells me no (11:30pm)

did you end up fucking carol? (11:34)

answer your fucking phone dumbass (11:47pm)

wanda says you’re probably asleep. if you dont text me before noon tomorrow i’m going to hunt you down. (12:01am)

final warning before i rush to the apartment. (11:45am)

You hurriedly type out a text: sorry! just woke up! i was just really tired!!! Im alive, no need to terrorize my peaceful sunday. (11:46am)

“Who is it?” Yelena asks, laying back down on top of you as if you hadn’t moved at all. 

“Nat,” you whisper, frowning. “She was gonna come check on me. If we’re going to keep doing this, we should set some ground rules.”

“Ugh,” Yelena groans, “I hate rules.”

“And I don’t want Natasha to catch us with your hand between my legs.” You huff, chuckling a little.

Natasha responds:

she lives! (11:49am)

almost brought wanda and yelena to drag you out of bed (11:49am)

i’ll be home late. Wanda wants to spend our last day of freedom indoors ;) (11:50am)

You wrinkle your nose. tmi. enjoy ur sex day. (11:50am)

She sends a slew of emojis in response and you roll your eyes, almost clicking out of the messaging app when you remember Carol texted you.

hope you made it home safe last night! sorry if i came on a little strong, i think i just misread the situation. I promise im not a total horndog. I’d love to buy you a coffee sometime? :) (8:21am)

Yelena tilts her head to read your screen and groans again. “Jesus, can’t she take a hint?”

You snort. “She’s actually being nice, Yelena.”

Her arms tighten around you. “But I’m nicer.”

“I’m not going to go out with her,” you surprise yourself with the confidence in your voice. “And you don’t have to be, like, jealous of her.”

Yelena smiles, ducking her head to blow a raspberry against your collarbone. “I’m not jealous.”

“You sound a little jealous.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to share.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. Remember that thing I mentioned earlier that you said you hated? This is one of those magical things. I believe the word is-”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Yelena nibbles at your neck. 

You smile, unable to help yourself, and set your phone on the coffee table. You comb your now free hand through Yelena’s hair. “And… you won’t, um- do anything with anyone, either?”

“Of course not. You’re the only one that I want.” The tenderness in her tone makes your heart melt unexpectedly. She kisses your neck, leaning back to meet your eyes again. She looks so overwhelmingly fond of you, you can’t help connecting your lips. It just feels right, laying here with her. 

Her eyes dart to your neck, a new grin on her face. “Can we continue where we left off, or…?”

You breathe out a laugh. “You’re insatiable. Sure, but we should move it to the bedroom. This couch sucks.”

You’re in for a long Sunday.

(“Holy shit, Lena,” you gasp, several hours later, when you finally get a look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your neck, collarbone, and torso have hickeys of varying severity, the ones most visible unfortunately being the ones that are the hardest to cover. 

“What?” The blonde in question slips in behind you, sliding her hands to your hips as she looks at your reflection admiringly. “I don’t see a problem?”

“What the hell am I gonna tell Natasha? That I was wrestling with an octopus?”

“Does my sister often see this much of your body?” Yelena snickers.

You roll your eyes, but lean back into her embrace. “No, but when she sees the entire continent of Europe on my neck she’s going to be a little bit suspicious.”

“You’re so paranoid. She and Wanda are way too absorbed with each other to notice something as ridiculous as a few hickeys.”)

- - - - -

“Holy fuck, were you wrestling with an octopus?” Natasha asks, catching you in the kitchen much later that evening. Yelena had left two hours ago, and you’d spent most of that time sleeping. 

“Uh- something like that.” You had hoped your hoodie would cover most of the damage. 

Natasha grins that shit-eating grin you’ve come to know and love. “You hooked up with Carol, didn’t you?”

“Um-”

“Told you she was hot.” Natasha brushes past you to open the fridge. “So that’s why you slept ‘til noon.”

“I always sleep ‘til noon,” you scoff. “You’re the freak who gets up with the sun.”

“That’s literally when you’re supposed to wake up.”

“Says who?”

“Humanity.”

“I don’t associate myself with those.” 

The rest of the evening, Yelena occasionally texts you and you do your best to hide it from Natasha. If she notices the constant checking of your phone, she doesn’t comment. In fact, she looks damn pleased with herself at what she must believe was a successful setup. You’re definitely just digging yourself into a deeper hole.

You talk about upcoming classes, and then you start to feel shitty about yourself so you go to bed early. You’re tired anyway.

(The longer you hide this, the worse it’s going to get. You should just say something to Natasha. ‘Hey, by the way, your sister sort of came onto me and now I think we’re dating. That’s fine, right?’)

(You’re so, so fucked.)

- - - - -

Your last real Halloween was - surprise surprise - when you lived in Ohio. After that, you were too old to trick-or-treat and didn’t have enough friends to be invited to parties, so. Yeah. Naturally, upon hearing this, Natasha is insistent upon throwing a Halloween party to make up for every single one you’ve missed. 

Your last time celebrating, Yelena was just small enough that you could all get away with scoring free candy off the neighborhood. You’re positive she hated it, but you sure as shit loved free candy so she didn’t put up too much of a fuss. (It’s shocking, to think back to what she’s done for you and you alone.) You and Natasha had been pirates that year, so in memory you’re pirates this year. Of course, you’re adults now, so the costumes are a lot more risque than they had been years ago.

Yours is a corset with one of those flowing tops and a ridiculously tight pair of pants. This is the last time you ever shop for pants online, you swear this to every god you know by name. Unfortunately, Natasha had invited Carol under the impression that she was your regular hookup given that Yelena hadn’t stopped her habit of leaving hickeys wherever she wanted.

Speaking of- you know Yelena was invited, but she likes to show up late. She’s probably working on her homework - as much as she pretends that she isn’t, Yelena is somewhat the academic type and at least gives effort into her assignments, albeit last-minute. You keep looking at the door, expecting her to walk in, and after about half an hour of this Natasha starts to notice.

“Who’re you waiting for? Carol’s over there,” she frowns, confused. 

Of course, Carol is talking to one of her friends. You recognize the woman, but you’re too distracted to place a name to a face right now.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you clear your throat. “It’s- I’m not looking for anyone.”

“Yelena’s on her way. Says she got caught up.” Natasha frowns at her phone. “I think she’s hooking up with someone. She’s been in a good mood lately.”

“Oh?” You force your voice to remain even. “Any ideas on who it might be?”

“Not a clue. She’s learned how to hide her tracks.” Natasha sounds genuinely frustrated at this. You laugh at her pout.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Can’t someone just be happy for the sake of being happy?”

She eyes you warily, but her response is cut off by the front door opening. Speak of the devil, it’s Yelena. She’s wearing what you can only assume to be a military uniform of some kind. She’s wearing the vest you bought for her, as well as camo pants and combat boots. Her cheeks have solid lines of black, the main indicator of her costume.

It hits you, very sharply, how goddamn gorgeous she is. It’s honestly an outfit she’d probably wear on a normal day out, but she looks so good in it, you forget to breathe for a second. The rest of the party feels muted, somehow, in comparison to the beam of light Yelena brings to you just by entering the room.

Of course, you have to play it casual. A cordial greeting, an inside joke to show Natasha that you’re totally normal, not at all having sex with each other.

Drink two, and this is when you start feeling Yelena’s eyes on you. She’s always so aware of you, you doubt her gaze ever left you since she’d entered. Still, you pretend you don’t notice, even when Carol starts chatting you up.

“You look great,” she says, smiling that friendly smile of hers.

You aren’t flirting, but you aren’t exactly ignoring her advances, either. It’s a relatively innocent conversation about classes, when lacrosse season starts. Easy stuff. Basic shit, really. It’s enough, though. 

You felt your phone vibrate.

Your room. Ten minutes. (11:38pm)

It’s from Yelena, of course.

You can’t count down the minutes fast enough. Natasha is long-gone in her conversation with Steve, Wanda and Pietro, and Carol has returned to her friend. Perfect timing. Nobody even notices your absence.

Yelena is, unsurprisingly, waiting for you. There are more guests than usual, so locking the door and barring entry shouldn’t raise too many eyebrows. At least, in theory, it shouldn’t. This is honestly the most risky situation you’ve found yourselves in since you started this whole thing.

The moment the door is locked, she’s on you. She’s kissing you hard, like she can’t get enough of you, her hands pawing at your corset like an overager teenager. You try to laugh at her eagerness, but it’s cut off by a squeal when her hands grip your ass.

“You’re forgetting who you belong to, malyshka,” she warns lowly. You gasp when she pulls you impossibly closer. “This is the perfect time for a reminder, don’t you think?”

And that’s how you find yourself half-naked with Yelena between your legs, eating you out like it’s her job. Her tongue flickers against your clit, urgency in her actions. She wants this to be quick, but you have the sense that she’s battling against her urge to make you last longer.

You’ve been keeping quiet for the most part. Or, as quiet as possible when you’re being gravitated towards a mind-shattering orgasm. Yelena is just unfairly good at making you want to scream, so you end up biting your pillows and your fist to keep from making too much noise. 

And when you finally - finally - reach that precipice, Yelena is right there, holding your hand above your head and swallowing your moans. Once you’ve caught your breath, she settles herself over your face, and you make quick work of returning the favor.

When you return to the party, you’re positive your makeup isn’t as nice as it had been before your impromptu session with Yelena. If Natasha notices, she doesn’t comment. Still, this is the first time since you’d started this whole thing that you feel that raw, unnerving guilt gnawing away at the back of your mind.

(Part of you wishes she’d just find out already. That she’d question why you and Yelena always seem to disappear together, or why you have so many of Yelena’s shirts.)

(She never does.)

(You hate what you’ve become.)

(You love your bad habits.)

- - - - -

“I don’t understand where this is coming from.” Your mother’s tone is, predictably, nothing short of cold and clipped as she talks to you. “Why would you spend Thanksgiving in Ohio? Are you seriously contacting your father again?”

“No, mom, I’m not contacting Dad.” Your handful of weeks fucking (dating?) Yelena in secret were going incredibly well. Unfortunately, when things go well for you, there tends to be something to completely destroy whatever scrap of happiness you’d found for yourself. That something, typically, is your mother. “I’m going to spend it with Natasha’s family.”

A pause. “The Russians?”

“Yup.”

An even longer pause. “I just don’t understand. I take you out of that hellish state, I make sure you get into a good college - that I pay for, by the way - and this is how you thank me? Leaving me for your father? Don’t you remember what he did to me? To you?” 

You cringe. “Mom, I’m not-”

“As if leaving me for strangers is any better!” She snaps.

“I’ve known her since we were like, seven! I haven’t seen her parents in years, they practically raised me when you and dad couldn’t be bothered-”

“Don’t take that tone with me. I don’t know what you think you’re referring to, but that is not how I remember the situation. Fine, you had one friend growing up and I’m happy you’ve reconnected, but this is ridiculous.”

You chew the inside of your cheek, tasting blood. “You said you were working that week, anyway.”

“And I’m not allowed to want to come home to my child?” She scoffs. “If you want to be ungrateful, fine. You had better come here for winter break.” 

With this, she hangs up, and you finally let the stupid tears you’d been fighting come freely to the surface. You would, literally, rather die than cry in front of your mother - even if it’s on the phone. Maybe it’s just a stubborn habit you’ll never kick.

Yelena was the one to ask if you could go. You were genuinely excited to see Alexei and Melina again, even if it meant pretending you weren’t betraying their eldest daughter by getting railed by their youngest. There’s no proper etiquette of tricking your best friend into letting you follow her to Ohio because you’re fucking her little sister, so it took a bit of hinting on Yelena’s end to convince Natasha to ask their parents and, eventually, you.

School work was already piling up, so that’s probably not helping the uncontrollable crying. You never could manage your emotions well when work was piled up. Feeling stupid and just sad, you reach for pretty much your only source of comfort lately: one of Yelena’s ridiculously large hoodies. They’re big on her, so the sleeves go easily past your fingers. It smells like her.

“(Y/N)?” The door opens, temporarily surprising the sobs out of you. You look up and find Yelena in the doorway. Her expression changes instantly. She’s at your side, pulling you into a tight embrace. You sink into her hold, burying your face in her neck. “What’s wrong, milaya?”

“Nothing,” you sniffle. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing that makes you upset is stupid.” Yelena murmurs, kissing the top of your head. 

“My mom,” you offer lamely. “She’s just pissed I’m not going to hers next week.”

Yelena holds you tighter. “Is she going to try to send you back to New York?”

You snort. “No, she wouldn’t do that unless I somehow got pregnant.”

She sighs. “There go my plans…”

“Shut up,” you laugh, pulling away in an attempt to wipe away the wetness still on your cheeks. Yelena takes your face in her hands, though, and thumbs the tears away for you.

“Are you okay?” She asks, frowning.

“I’m fine. She’ll get over it.”

“So you’re still coming?” The hopefulness in her voice makes your heart swell. You connect her lips with yours without thinking about it, matching her growing smile with one of your own. 

“Of course I am.” You pause. “Why’d you come over, by the way? Not that I’m complaining.”

“Oh!” She looks uncharacteristically sheepish. “My roommate is out until after classes tomorrow. Do you want to come to mine?”

You’ve only been to Yelena’s dorm once when she’d first moved into it. It’s small, but it’s removed enough from Natasha’s circle of friends and acquaintances that you and Yelena might actually get some quality time together without worrying about jumping apart at any sound from the hallway.

It’s changed a lot since then. Yelena’s roommate is the studious type - Maria Rambeau is her name - and her mother was in the air force; her side of the room has all sorts of cool pictures of her mom and Maria as a child. She’s also on the lacrosse team with Yelena, or so you’re told, so the two get along pretty well.

Yelena’s side of the room couldn’t be more different. Where Maria keeps her things tidy and organized, Yelena’s more of the ‘organized chaos’ type. Sure, things are haphazardly thrown about, but everything has a place and you’ve no doubt she could find anything in her half of the room. It’s also pretty obvious where the dividing line is, too, which makes you laugh because the same thing had been the case when she and Natasha shared a room as kids.

(For years - until you and Natasha were fifteen, actually - Yelena couldn’t sleep alone. You think it has to do with the orphanage in Russia, but you’ve never pried and you don’t plan on it.)

She unceremoniously shoves her folded laundry off of her bed and into the basket they’d certainly just been pulled out of. You take your spot closest to the wall while the blonde grabs her laptop.

She doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around your shoulders once she joins you, and you lean into her without question. It’s strange, how quickly you’ve adapted to this. It’s like you and Yelena were just always meant to be this way. Inevitable. Your dirty little secret has become a bad habit, and you can’t get enough of it.

Yelena, to her credit, at least gets through the first twenty minutes of the movie before she starts peppering kisses along the fading hickeys on your neck. You pretend not to notice at first, dedicatedly staring at the screen even when her kisses become heavier, more insistent. (She’s cute when she’s impatient.)

Eventually, your indifference makes her growl a little in frustration and you can’t resist laughing.

“What’s the matter?” You ask, feigning innocence. 

Yelena arches an eyebrow at you. Very much an, ‘are you serious right now?’ look. “Oh, we’re playing this game, now?”

“What ever do you mean, Yelena?” You bat your eyelashes at her. “I’m not doing anything.”

She juts her lip out into a pout. “(Y/N).” 

“Yelena,” you whine mockingly. “If you want something, you should just say it.”

“I want to fuck you.” She grabs one of your hands, guiding it into her lap. You freeze when you feel it. 

“Have you been packing that this entire time?” You breathe, suddenly sounding hoarse.

Yelena grins. “Maybe.”

She’s mentioned her strap once or twice in passing, but usually you went at it like rabbits whenever you were alone in your apartment together. You haven’t exactly had the time to go out and buy one yourself, but Yelena apparently bought one a few days after you started your… thing. 

It’s a little bigger than you’re used to, but you think you’ll manage seeing as Yelena’s favorite pastime is bringing you to the edge and easing you away from it just before you could reach it. 

In minutes, she’s tearing off your clothes, the laptop set precariously aside. It’s easy to fall into this, easy to succumb to the tender kisses and the promises of pleasure she brands into your skin with every touch and kiss. It’s getting easier to ignore the guilt, too. Too easy, probably. 

Maybe, part of you thinks, maybe Natasha will be less angry when she finds out just how deep you’re in it with Yelena. Not that you and the blonde talk about it very much, but there’s something heavier and needier in your interactions than just lust. Something deeper. You have a feeling Yelena is waiting for you; always, she’s waiting for you. She’s too patient with you. You haven’t taken the first step in your entire fucking life.

Your thoughts are interrupted when Yelena bites down on your inner thigh, earning a mixture of a hiss and a groan. You look down at her, meeting her gaze. The warmth in her eyes is almost too much to bear.

“Eyes on me,” she instructs.

Yelena has learned every inch of your body and exactly where to touch you to make you weak with pleasure. Her tongue is the perfect weapon, bringing you to near-tears until she stops suddenly. You gape at her in distress, whimpering while she chuckles at you.

“Patience, malyshka. I don’t want to hurt you.” Yelena eases herself on top of you again, kissing you gently while the tip of the strap prods against your entrance, then your clit. Your hips twitch impatiently. Yelena grabs them with one hand and pins them to the bed easily, preventing any movement much to your dismay. 

“Yelena,” you whine. “Please.”

“Aw, but I like watching you like this.” She rubs against your clit again, slowly, tantalizingly. “So desperate for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “I’m desperate for you. Please just fuck me.”

Yelena hums, slowly easing the strap inside of you. Your breath catches and Yelena places kisses on your neck, cheek, and then lips while reminding you to breathe. Yelena likes to fuck you roughly, sure, but there are so many little moments like this where she’s so gentle with you that it reminds you, sharply, of how much she actually cares about you. (And how much you’re starting to realize you care about her.)

When you’re adjusted to the size, you give Yelena an almost imperceptible nod and she begins thrusting inside of you. You always thought that people who said sex with someone you’re deeply fond of was better, but every time you have sex with Yelena your disbelief is put to scrutiny. It’s just better, you can’t explain it. Something in the way Yelena watches your face for signs of discomfort, or signs of pleasure; or maybe it’s the way that, even when she starts pounding into you with purpose, she always - always - kisses you like you’re the only thing in this world that matters.

Yelena grabs one of your legs and hitches it around her waist, finding a spot deeper inside that makes you see stars. You’d been trying your best to keep quiet - you’re certain these dorms aren’t perfectly soundproof - but this completely breaks that willpower. You’re keening, back arching high as your hips twitch helplessly in Yelena’s grip and your nails rake down her spine. The blonde is glowing with this small victory, hissing in either pain or pleasure or probably both.

“You look so pretty, spread out for me,” she murmurs, biting teasingly at your earlobe. “Like you were made to take my cock like this.”

You let out a harsh breath when her fingers find your clit, releasing your hips as her other arm supports her weight. “Fuck! I’m- Yelena I’m close-”

“I know,” she hums, examining your neck with pride. “You know how to earn it, malyshka.”

“Please,” you rasp obediently, “please, Yelena. I need to- I’m so close I- please let me-”

You’re cut off by an animalistic moan as the blonde pounds into you, the breath knocked clean out of your body. She leans back enough to look at your face, your eyes threatening to close as you barely hang onto the edge.

“Look at me,” she purrs. You force your eyes open again. “That’s it. Good girl. Cum for me. Go on, that’s it…”

Your orgasm quakes through you, sending you into a series of whimpering moans of her name. She murmurs in Russian, encouragement you think; it doesn’t really matter what she’s saying, honestly, because it’s always so fucking hot when she does that. 

While Yelena slows down, you happen to glance over her shoulder at the mirror that just so happens to be at the foot of the bed. When you notice how flushed you are - how completely, utterly wild you look - beneath Yelena’s rocking body, you feel an unexpected wave of arousal.

Yelena pauses in her thrusts, following your gaze perhaps out of instinct, and when she looks back at you she’s got a shiteating grin on her face.

“You like watching me fuck you?” She asks, almost sounding impressed. You nod mutely, blushing out of embarrassment. “Well, why don’t we give you a better look, krasotka?” She pulls out of you unexpectedly, the sensation causing you to gasp. “Hands and knees for me. Face the mirror.”

You aren’t a narcissistic person. You aren’t even the type to gawk at yourself in the mirror for that long when getting ready. Yelena brings a lot - a lot - out in you. You find yourself following her orders without question, body practically buzzing with anticipation.

When she pushes into you again, Yelena is relentless. Ruthless. You can hear the shitty old twin bed groaning with every thrust but you don’t care. You can’t tear your eyes away from the image of Yelena pounding into you, fingers bruising your hips, her cheeks flushed and eyes dark.

Catching your gaze in the reflection, Yelena grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls. “That’s right, malyshka. Look at me when I fuck you. Look at how beautiful you look, taking me like this. You’re mine, aren’t you?”

“Yes- yes- I’m yours-” you gasp, watching the way your bodies move together. “Fucking hell, Lena-”

“And who makes you cum like this?” She moves a hand to your clit, toying with it almost boredly.

“You! Only you!” Your hips twitch against her movements, all your muscles tensing when she finds that spot deep inside you again. 

“Gonna cum again for me?” Yelena rasps, thrusting harder and faster. “Go on, lyubov’. Cum again.”

Your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head. The wave of pleasure is so intense you swear you actually blackout. Yelena lets you ride it out, pressing kisses on your shoulders and the back of your neck as you struggle to move again. 

When you’re able to breathe, Yelena pulls out and removes the strapon. You connect your lips in a slow, passionate kiss before rolling her onto her back. Your limbs feel like jelly, but that’s fine. You don’t need arms and legs to eat Yelena out.

You’ve come to learn that, while Yelena enjoys fucking you as roughly as she pleases, she prefers softer sex herself. You think she gets off on the intimacy more than the actual sex itself. She likes soft kisses, lingering touches. Her body is an instrument, finely tuned, and you’ve learned just how to play the perfect melody

She doesn’t make much noise, but you revel in the little gasps and moans she makes in your descent down her body. Her body is far more reactive than she is vocal; hips move constantly when you find those sensitive spots of hers. (Her stomach, her thighs, just between her breasts, under her ear-)

Yelena breathes out your name like a prayer when you finally give her what she wants. You suck softly on her clit, looking up to find so much intensity in her green eyes you’re tempted to look away. She always looks so enraptured by you. Like you put the stars in the sky. It’s almost overwhelming.

(Almost.)

But when one of her hands finds yours over the fucked up blanket, fingers slotting between your own, and the other cards through your hair, you feel like - maybe - you’re putting stars in the sky right now. This moment, this little world you’ve created - it’s just for you and Yelena.

Yelena’s hold on your hand tightens. She’s already close. You ease her into her first orgasm with practiced precision. You don’t slow down, moving your free hand to press two fingers inside of her. She keens at the sensation, eyes never leaving yours.

When she comes again, she pulls you up to her mouth so she can kiss you hard. It’s a lazy, slow kiss that makes your heart ache and sing all at once. After a few moments, Yelena pulls her blanket around the both of you. You lay your head on her shoulder, feeling so tired you can barely think.

Sleep, as it always mercifully does when you’re next to Yelena, comes surprisingly easy.

- - - - -

You wake up only a few hours later. You have to get back home before Natasha’s last class finishes up. You get dressed reluctantly, mind still a little slow and body far less willing to leave Yelena’s side. The blonde offers to walk you out and it’s damn near impossible to resist those eyes of hers. She even gives you one of her hoodies again, taking back the other one (“Now it smells like you, take this one.”) 

You’re in such a doofy, happy haze you don’t notice someone saying your name until you feel Yelena’s entire body go RIGID. Alarmed, you turn around to find Carol - yes, that Carol - hurrying towards you with that puppydog grin of hers. Yelena immediately has an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close against her. If looks could kill, Carol Danvers would be on the floor in an instant.

“Hey, Carol,” you greet, forcing a smile. “Sorry about- uh, that um-”

“It’s fine,” she shrugs it off like it really is nothing. “I was actually going to ask you why Natasha thinks we’re dating?”

Your jaw drops. “She- she thinks what?”

Carol glances at Yelena nervously, but you’re pretty sure it’s not out of fear. “She was asking me how things were going with us.”

“W-what did you say to her?”

“I said you were probably too busy for a relationship.” She looks at Yelena’s arm around you. “But I see that I was wrong in that assumption.”

“It’s… a weird story. C-can you do me a favor and, um, not tell Natasha about… this?”

Carol looks between you and Yelena several times. You can’t read her expression, but it’s certainly more surprised than it had been when she initially saw you and Yelena together. “She… doesn’t know?”

“Not exactly.”

“Your own best friend doesn’t know that you’re dating her little sister?”

You cringe. “It’s-”

“A weird story?” Carol nods, looking immensely uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah, sure, I’ll keep it under wraps. Only ‘cause Yelena is our best addition to the team and I can’t have her hating her captain before we even start the season.” She gives the younger woman a casual smile. Yelena relaxes ever so slightly, but she doesn’t remove her arm. “But you should probably say something to her sooner rather than later. Y’know, kinda like how you should tell people you’re into someone else before you give them your number?” At your expression, she snorts with laughter. “I’m kidding! It’s fine. I could tell you weren’t all that into it. I thought you were just getting over a breakup or something.” 

“Well, this was a fun chat.” Yelena clears her throat. “Bye, Danvers.”

“Later, Belova. (Y/N).” The two women share a respectful nod in departure.

You wait until you’re in the stairwell to kiss Yelena on the cheek. “Look at you, being all jealous again.”

“Can you blame me? She was obsessed with you.” Yelena scoffs, but there’s a smile fighting at her lips.

“She texted me like three times and it was to make sure I made it home alive when I ditched her at a club.” You roll your eyes.

You make it to the ground level, and Yelena pauses.

“Do you think she was right?” She asks.

You frown. “About what?”

“Telling Natasha.”

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. The thought of losing Natasha hits you full-force. She’ll never forgive you for this. This is her sister - her baby sister - and you’re sneaking around with her. 

“(Y/N)?” Yelena presses.

“I don’t know,” you admit, a lump rising in your throat. “I-I mean, we’ll have to eventually, right?”

Yelena studies your face for a long moment. “Is there a problem with that?”

You feel something hot stinging at your eyes. You blink it away. “Besides losing my best friend?”

“You won’t lose anybody.” Yelena takes your face in her hands. Ever tender, her eyes warm and expression soft. “I won’t let that happen.”

“You can’t promise that, Lena,” you lean into her touch, closing your eyes to hide the stupid tears rising in them. “You guys are all I have, you know?”

“I know.” She presses a kiss to your forehead. “And so does she.”

“Not yet. Please?” You meet her gaze again, desperate for that warmth. “I’m not- I’m not ready for-”

“Okay,” she kisses you gently. “Not yet.”

(You wonder how long you can make this ‘not yet’ last.)

- - - - -

“I had the weirdest conversation with Carol today,” Natasha says casually, sitting beside you on the couch and propping her feet up on the coffee table.

“Oh?” You ask, trying to sound a million times less anxious than you’re suddenly feeling. You keep your gaze on the TV, not even caring about whatever it is this week’s baking challenges are. “What was it about?”

“She says you guys haven’t talked since you ditched us at Woody’s.” Natasha is definitely not buying this. At all.

“Oh,” you clear your throat. “Yeah, we, uh, haven’t.”

“Which is weird, ‘cause I could’ve sworn the next day you had a million hickeys on your neck.” She pauses. You can feel yourself starting to sweat. “And you’ve got a few more today.” She’s pawing at the collar of your shirt so you swat her hand away irritably.

“Am I not allowed to have a fuckbuddy?” You ask lamely. 

“Of course you are! It’s just weird that you feel like you need to hide it from me, that’s all.” Natasha eyes you for a long, long moment. You should just do it now, get it over with. So what if there are no witnesses to whatever crime she decides to commit against you. “Do you not trust me or something?”

“No!” You look at her fully now, well-aware that the blood has drained from your face. “Of course I trust you, Nat! You’re my best friend.”

“So why all the secrecy?” She presses. “Is it someone I know?”

“D-does it matter?”

“I guess not.” She pauses, then looks down at your shirt. “Oh, are they on the lacrosse team with Yelena?” You must look really fucking stupid, because Natasha takes this as confirmation. “You can’t tell me you’re keeping it from me ‘cause Yelena had a crush on you all those years ago!”

“W-what?” You croak, suddenly able to breathe.

“You didn’t know?” Natasha snorts, leaning back against the cushions. “I thought it was pretty obvious. Doesn’t help that her first ‘real’ girlfriend was like a spitting image of you.” She scoffs, shaking her head. “It was cute, though. Her first crush.” She nudges you with her shoulder so you laugh awkwardly.

“I had no idea,” you offer. 

You are a really, really shitty friend. (And, probably, an even shittier girlfriend.)

- - - - -

“(Y/N)! Look at you, dorogoy, you’ve grown so big!” Melina exclaims as she pulls you into a tight embrace. You return it eagerly, burying your face in her shoulder and laughing with delight.

“Melina! It’s been too long!” You release her just as Alexei pulls you into a hug. He reeks like motor oil, though he’s done his best to clean up for the occasion. He likes to work on old cars in the garage - or, he used to, and it seems like he hasn’t given that hobby up yet despite being terrible at it. (Lucky for him, Melina is often there to help.)

“We have all the food ready and waiting for you girls- you must be Wanda! Natasha has told me so much about you!” Melina moves onto the other dinner guest as Natasha moans about not embarrassing her. 

You follow Alexei and Yelena into the kitchen where all three of you promptly grab a bottle of beer and clink them together before drinking.

“So, (Y/N),” Alexei begins, eyeing you with joy. “Has my daughter told you about-”

“Dad,” Yelena warns, but is promptly ignored.

“-the time I went ice fishing with my father?”

“Please stop!” Yelena yelps, grabbing your hand. “She doesn’t need to hear that story!” She begins dragging you away, her father’s booming laughter following you into the dining room.

“Is that the one where his dad pees on him?” You ask, chuckling.

“Yes.” Yelena groans, blushing hard. “I told them not to be embarrassing but with Wanda I think they’re both determined to turn over all the dirty family secrets.” She mutters a curse in Russian, causing your laughter to bubble back up.

“I like your parents,” you tell her, grinning. “I wish mine were this fun.”

Yelena gives you a sympathetic smile. “I don’t see his car outside. I don’t think he’s home.”

You shrug. “He’s probably at the bar. He’ll be home later, though.”

“And you’ll be here.” Yelena hasn’t let go of your hand. She squeezes it now, the most PDA you’re both willing to risk at the moment. “I wish I could have protected you then. Did Natasha ever tell you about how I almost went over to your house with my lacrosse stick?”

“No.” You blink in surprise. “When was that?”

“When you first told us… about…” She winces, and so do you. “I just picked it right up and stormed to the front door after you’d left. I was terrified he would hurt you again. Furious at the thought of it.” She breathes out an almost disbelieving laugh. “I think, even then, I knew-” she cuts herself off, looking alarmed.

“Knew what?” You press.

Yelena opens her mouth to respond, but the conversation of Melina, Natasha, and Wanda cuts her off. You drop her hand, nearly jumping away from her as you take a long swig from your beer. (You don’t miss the wounded look Yelena sends you.)

The rest of the meal is spent jovially, but you can sense something is off with Yelena. She’s quieter than usual, less willing to join in the conversation. Natasha must notice, too, because she sends several concerned glances towards the blonde.

Natasha and Yelena still shared the one room, but the guest room was offered for Natasha and Wanda to share while you and Yelena took the girls’ childhood bedroom. You fall into bed a little tipsy, but being in such close proximity to your alcoholic father has you on edge tonight.

Even worse, Yelena hasn’t said much since she entered the room five minutes after you. You were already in your pajamas, laying on Natasha’s bed staring up at the little glow in the dark stars that they had all over their ceiling for as long as you could remember. There’s also a very distinct tiny handprint from one of those sticky hands Yelena had thrown up there when she was nine. It took a full year for it to come down, subsequently scaring the shit out of Natasha when she was sleeping.

“Is everything okay?” You ask when she begins to undress. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Her clipped tone tells you that no, everything is not okay.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me so we can talk about it?” You offer, sitting up.

She finishes getting into her pajamas in stony silence. You wait quietly, but your heart is roaring in your ears. What have you done wrong? “We don’t ever talk about things. Why are we starting now?”

“Where is this coming from?” You frown. “Yelena, just tell me-”

“Does this mean anything to you?” The question shocks you to the core. Yelena turns to face you and to your absolute alarm there are TEARS in her eyes. You haven’t seen Yelena cry since that day your mom drove you away from here. She gestures between you, apparently taking your silence as misunderstanding. “Us. Does this mean anything to you?”

“Of course it does.” You keep your tone low, eyeing the bedroom door warily. Wanda and Natasha were just down the hall. Melina may not care about overhearing and Alexei sleeps like the dead. “Why do you think it doesn’t?”

“You still haven’t told Natasha.”

You flinch. “I-”

“If this meant anything to you, you wouldn’t want to keep hiding it. Hiding us. We can’t keep this a secret forever and Natasha is my sister. I want to tell her how happy you make me. I want to go out on dates, show the world that you’re mine.” She pauses, sounding timid all of a sudden. “Don’t you want that for us?” The way her voice cracks brings hot tears to the edges of your eyes.

“Of course I do,” you swallow thickly around the lump in your throat. “I want that. I do.” You hate yourself. “But I don’t want to lose Natasha over this. Your family - it’s the only family I care about.”

“You won’t lose Natasha.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“You can’t promise that you’ll lose her, either.”

As usual, Yelena is her most convincing when she sounds so sure of herself. So confident. Has she ever doubted anything in her life? (Yes, you realize, she has. Your feelings for her. Because you’re an asshole.)

“Okay,” you relent softly. “I’ll tell her.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. Tomorrow? Just- let me think about what to say to her. Please, Lena.” 

Yelena takes a slow, steadying breath. Her shoulders rise with the action as her eyes clench shut. You bite the inside of your cheek, hoping beyond all hope that she isn’t going to do what you’re most terrified of. (With a shock, you suddenly realize that losing Yelena is possibly more painful that losing Natasha.)

“I’ve waited this long,” she murmurs at last, opening her eyes. “I can wait a little longer.”

She just looks defeated. 

(You hate that you’re the reason she looks like that.)

- - - - -

You don’t sleep well that night. It has to be the fact that your father is a few houses away, but the nightmares keep waking you up to the point that you just end up staring at the glow in the dark stars again. In the years that have passed, their light is dimmed. Still, you can make them out enough to count them.

After your sixth attempt at sleep, Yelena’s voice cuts through the darkness:

“Come over here.”

You slip under her blanket, enveloping yourself in her smell and clinging to her embrace. She chuckles when you shiver from your brief trip through the cold distance between the beds. You get comfortable in her arms, wrapping your own around her so you can bury your face in her shoulder. You let silence surround you for several long minutes, listening instead to her breathing and her heart. 

“Yelena?” Your voice must startle her. Her heart picks up the pace. “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

If she didn’t stiffen so much, you’d assume she hadn’t heard you. She nudges you gently so you prop yourself up on an elbow, looking down at her. You wish you could see her more clearly.

“You love me?” She asks in disbelief.

“Of course I do.” You inhale shakily. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this didn’t mean anything to me. It does. It means… it means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”

Her hold on you tightens, and so does her embrace. “I know you’re scared of losing Natasha.” She pauses considerably. “And maybe she’ll be mad. But- she’ll come around. Friendships like that don’t just end.”

You sigh, press a sleepy kiss to her neck. “I hope you’re right.”

Silence.

You’re just on the edge of sleep when Yelena says, “(Y/N)?” You hum in question. “You know that I’ve been in love with you since forever, right?”

You smile, unable to help yourself. “I know.”

- - - - -

You wake up to soft kisses being pressed all over your cheek, forehead, chin, nose - it takes you several long minutes to give in and open your eyes. Yelena is smiling lovingly at you, her eyes shining in the morning light. 

You return the smile, smoothing some of her messy hair away from her face. “Morning.”

“Morning,” she kisses you sweetly. 

You spend the next ten minutes or so just laying there, holding each other. Sometimes you kiss lazily, but mostly you just grin at each other like idiots and bask in the delicate world you built for yourselves. You can’t believe how stubborn you’d been about these feelings before. They’re so beautiful, so wonderful and they make you so happy you could cry.

“I love you,” you tell her quietly.

“I love you, too,” Yelena murmurs, kissing you with more purpose.

Your hands find themselves under her shirt, fingers tracing her spine while her own hands pull you on top of her. You straddle her waist, biting back a surprised noise when you feel her squeeze your ass.

“Your family’s probably downstairs,” you whisper.

Yelena rolls her eyes. “You can’t be quiet?”

You blush. “You know you don’t let me stay quiet.”

She chuckles, grinning wickedly. “Fair point.”

“And we should tell Natasha before she overhears us getting it on in here.” You kiss her again slowly. She hums thoughtfully against your lips.

“Fine.”

You slip off of her and you both get dressed with several shared glances and giggles and kisses. It’s hard to separate when you leave the room. From the kitchen, you hear idle chatter. Once ready, you and Yelena head downstairs to join the rest of the family for breakfast.

Over the food, you and Yelena once again share glances and smiles. Natasha is certainly picking up on something. You can sense it, the way her eyes keep moving between you, Yelena, and whatever gears are turning in her mind.

You decide that it’s probably better to do this in front of the family. Why wait to make the announcement of your relationship to them? You wish you could broadcast it to the world. It’s a shame Wanda has to be here for it, though, because you truly have no idea how this is going to end.

It’s when the dishes are starting to be cleared by Melina, Alexei, and Wanda that the subject is brought up, but not by you or Yelena.

“So, how long have you been sneaking around to fuck my sister?” Natasha says it so casually you actually choke on your coffee. 

“Natasha!” Melina scolds from the kitchen. The house is suddenly so silent, you swear you hear a few leaves falling outside. 

“W-what?” You stammer, going pale. Yelena looks between you and Natasha, her hand automatically finding yours under the table. 

It’s the calmness in Natasha’s expression that frightens you most. She looks at you evenly, almost emotionlessly. “How long have you and Yelena been going behind my back?”

“Nat,” Wanda begins, but Natasha shakes her head sharply.

“No. I want to know how long my best friend thought it was appropriate to sleep with my sister without telling me.”

“Natasha,” you begin shakily. 

“Girls-” Melina warns, stepping into the doorway. 

“How long were you lying to my face?” Natasha continues, standing slowly. You stand, too, and so does Yelena, who never disconnects your hands. Natasha eyes them with little to no change to her expression. “Well?”

“Since… since right before school started.” You admit. “The night I left you guys at that club.”

It happens so fast you don’t even register that Natasha had moved. There’s just a stinging in your nose, your eyes watering as the crack rings in your ears. Several voices shout Natasha’s name, and then Yelena’s as the blonde grabs her sister and pushes her against the doorframe beside Melina.

You reach out to grab Yelena, but to your amazement your face is spewing blood. Your hands fly to your nose again, the liquid flowing freely from it. Well, yeah, this is pretty much how you saw this going.

“Nat, I’m sorry-” You start.

“You’re only sorry because you got caught.” Natasha snaps, shoving her sister off of her. Alexei intervenes, now, murmuring his daughter’s name. She backs away from him, glaring at you. “You lied to me. For weeks. For months.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Didn’t mean to what? Fuck my sister or lie to me about it?”

“Both? I don’t know!” Tears are freely falling from your eyes, now, but you aren’t sure if it’s from the pain in your nose or the anguish of the situation. “It just- it just happened and then I fell in love with her and-”

Yelena stops the next punch with surprising speed and strength. Alexei cuts in between the two before Natasha can reconsider the next swing’s target. You stay rigid in your spot, unable to move or speak.

“Fuck this.” Natasha backs away from her family and turns on her heels to walk out the front door. “And fuck you.” She throws over her shoulder, slamming the front door so hard it shakes.

Wanda is the first to react to this, though a handful of silent seconds go by. “I’m gonna go talk to her.” She stands, looks at you with sympathy. “She doesn’t mean that. I know she doesn’t.” She pauses, looking towards the door again. “She’s been suspecting it for a while.”

You don’t respond. You just let the awkward silence settle until the Sokovian is out the door and you’re left alone with Yelena, Melina and Alexei. 

Seemingly remembering your injury, Yelena rushes to your side again and gently moves your hands away from your nose. You hiss in pain as she examines the damage closely.

“I think it’s broken,” she notes, eyes watery with unshed tears. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry, I didn’t think-”

“It’s okay,” you sound nasally. Ridiculous. “It’s okay, Lena.”

“I’m sorry about Natasha.” Melina snaps into mother mode in an instant. “Let me get you something for that.”

You wish everyone would stop apologizing. They shouldn’t be. This punch is very much well-deserved. If anything, this was an undrreaction by Natasha’s standards.

“It’s fine,” you reply uselessly, because Melina is already off to get medical supplies and Alexei is staring between you and Yelena with wide eyes.

“So… you two…?” He asks.

Shyly, you nod. Yelena seems relieved by this answer, releasing her hold on your cheeks to wrap her arms around you. 

“I’m getting blood on you,” you frown.

“I don’t care. I’m so sorry.” She kisses your forehead. “I shouldn’t have forced you to-”

“You didn’t force me to do anything,” you pull back from the embrace to look her in the eyes. “I wanted to do this. Well- not this, specifically.”

“She punched you in the face,” Yelena’s bottom lip trembles. The surefire sign that she’s about to start crying. Now your hands find themselves at her cheeks, thumbs smoothing away the tears just beginning to fall. You lean your forehead against hers. She looks terrified. 

“I know,” you sniffle, wincing at the pain the action causes. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s-”

“Put this on your face,” Melina is holding a pack of frozen peas and a rag in her hands. You pull away from Yelena, accepting the objects. Melina grabs your forehead and tilts your head around, looking closely at your nose. “It doesn’t look too bad. Definitely broken, though.”

You let her manhandle your face, cleaning the blood off while Yelena says something about getting you a different shirt. She returns with one of her own, apparently not thinking about it, and she almost freezes when she gives it to you. You accept it gratefully and excuse yourself to the bathroom.

The second - the instant - the door shuts, it’s like everything crashes down around you. Natasha knows. Natasha knew. She had possibly been waiting for you to say something, which any good friend would have done. You’ve been lying to her. You never lied to her before. And the first lie you tell her is this. 

You are awful.

You try to keep the stupid sobs quiet when you change out of the bloodied shirt and press the rag to your nose. The blood is already starting to slow down, so that’s something, at least. Still, the pain of it is incomparable to the hollow aching feeling in your chest.

Your stupid phone starts to ring in your pocket. You take it out, answering in a stuffy-sounding tone. “Hello?”

“(Y/N)? Your father called me. He knows you're in Ohio.” Your mother doesn’t often sound worried for you - at least, not in any capacity that doesn’t come off as totally forced an artificial - but she sounds genuinely afraid. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, mom,” you look at yourself in the mirror, looking anything but fine.

“Stay inside.” 

“Okay.”

Pause.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it right now,” your voice wavers. You hate when she gets like this almost as much as you hate when she acts like you’re an ungrateful child. There’s always that stupid part of you that believes she’ll stay like this, stay like she cares, but you always - always - remember those months she left you behind. You’ll never forgive her for that. (Especially not when she won’t even admit that she’d done anything wrong.)

“Okay.” It comes out a little colder, but not quite what you’re used to. “Call me when you get back to college, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you sigh. 

“I love you, (Y/N).” 

“Love you too, mom.” You hang up and take several slow breaths. You can’t hide forever. Time to find Natasha and face her. She’s already gotten the worst out of her system.

You wait until your cheeks aren’t as red and your eyes not as puffy, splashing some cold water on your face and carefully avoiding the areas that sting at any slight touch.

You turn the knob and almost slam right into Yelena. 

“You’re crying,” she says immediately.

You blink up at her. It hits you just how much you love her. It’s so intense, you’re nearly knocked off your feet. No matter what happens with Natasha - this, this, is worth it. She’s worth it. Natasha might never speak to you again, but losing Yelena is, at this point, unfathomable. This is your family. Yelena, Alexei, Melina - yes, Natasha, too. Even if she hates your guts forever.

Instead of explaining yourself, you just lean up to kiss her. It surprises her, you think, because she takes a beat longer to respond than usual. Kissing hurts a little, though, so you pull back and try to mask the pain. Of course, ever vigilant of your wellbeing, Yelena notices and holds the stupid pack of frozen peas to your nose with careful attention.

“I’m gonna talk to her,” you state softly, moving your hand to cover Yelena’s over the pack of peas. 

“I’ll come with you.” Yelena offers, but you shake your head.

“No. I have to talk to her alone.” 

Yelena looks ready to argue, but thinks better of it and nods hesitantly. “Fine. But… at least keep your phone with you.”

“She’s not gonna beat me to a pulp, Lena,” you laugh. “I think she got enough of her anger out with that one punch.”

“I’ll make her pay for that.” Yelena says darkly and you roll your eyes.

“No, it’s fine. I deserved that.”

“No-”

“We’ve been lying to her, Yelena. You know how she feels about lying.” You sigh. 

Yelena frowns, but doesn’t argue. 

When Melina deems your nose safe enough to travel with, you take off after Natasha. You know exactly where she’d be, because it’s where she always goes when she’s upset. The park isn’t far from her house, either.

Sure enough, she and Wanda are sitting on the old swing set, feet dragging idly on the mulch. When you approach, they stop talking and Wanda stands up. She makes some kind of excuse, but you don’t hear it as you wither under the glare of Natasha.

Hesitantly, you take the spot Wanda had once occupied and mindlessly move yourself back and forth. Natasha doesn’t speak, so you don’t either. You just sit in silence, your nose throbbing without the pack of peas.

Finally, Natasha breaks the silence: “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

You look at your feet, afraid of what emotions her face might show. “I was… scared. I thought you’d hate me, I guess.”

“I don’t hate you.” Those words are enough to make you weak with relief. You feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you shove them away and keep your gaze steadily downward. “But I’m pissed that you didn’t say anything.”

“She’s your sister, Nat,” you finally look up at her. She looks hurt. “I thought you’d assume the worst.”

“Why would I ever assume the worst with you?” Natasha shakes her head, exasperated. “Honestly, I had a feeling something was up when Carol told me you guys never hooked up. Yelena’s been acting happier than usual. Completely different from how she was when I left for college. Then I thought you were wearing her top, but she’s got so many stupid band shirts it’s hard to keep track…” She scoffs, almost amused. “I should have known, but I thought you’d at least be a decent friend and give me a heads up if you were even interested in Yelena.”

You cringe. “I know. I’m sorry. I really should have told you but it happened so fast-” you stop yourself, blushing furiously. “I thought it was just, y’know, for fun or whatever but-”

“Watch it,” Natasha warns, narrowing her eyes. “That’s my sister.”

“Right,” you croak. “I just- I thought I needed to just, scratch an itch. But it just didn’t go away, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and I felt so guilty because I knew hiding it from you was wrong but I didn’t know how to tell you and-”

“(Y/N),” Natasha holds up a hand and you flinch. The guilt on her face is gut-wrenching. She grabs the chain of her swing. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t trust me. You’re my best friend. Of course I want you to be happy. And Yelena is my sister. I want her to be happy, too. I want you both to be with someone you deserve.” At your pained, fearful expression, she quickly adds, “And I do think you deserve each other. In the best way.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, and Natasha snorts. 

“Seriously,” she says, “Lena has had a crush on you since we were kids. I’m surprised it took this long to happen. I can see how much happier you make her, even if I didn’t know what the source of that happiness was ‘til now.”

“Nat-”

“Even you seem different.” She observes you with a new sort of expression, almost admiringly. “You seem lighter. When we reconnected, you were still the same lost kid who didn’t know what to do besides what her mom told her. I can see how much easier it is on you, now.”

You actually feel yourself crying. It’s so dumb, you hate crying in front of others. Natasha slides off of her swing to pull you into a hug. You return it happily, heart swelling.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter guiltily. “I should have told you. I knew the whole time that I should have told you. But I was a coward.”

“You were,” Natasha agrees. When she pulls back from the hug, she looks at your nose. “How’s your face?”

“Broken.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“That’s fair.”

Pause.

“But we’re okay?” You ask, just because you can’t ever get over the fear of losing someone you care about.

“We’re okay,” Natasha confirms. 

She returns to her swing.

It’s almost like when you were kids again.

- - - - -

The walk back to Natasha’s house was spent in companionable conversation. She asks you a little bit about your relationship and intentions with Yelena - she does, in fact, threaten your life if you dare break Yelena’s heart but you assure her that’s nowhere in the cards. You’re in it to win it, as far as you’re concerned, and Natasha agrees that you’ve already won it.

The entire family is waiting in the living room. They must have been talking before you returned, because the silence is unbearable. Finally, you tell them everything is fine, and they all seem to breathe a bit easier. Melina mentions always seeing you as a daughter, Alexei tells you he couldn’t approve more.

At the end of the night, you find yourself back in Yelena’s arms in her childhood bed.

In the darkness, your only focus is the steadying beat of her heart that always picks up when you lean your head against her chest. You can’t ever be certain what awaits you in the future - you don’t even care anymore. As long as you have her by your side, that’s all that matters.

“Yelena?” You ask. She hums. “I love you.”

The blonde wakes up enough to press a loving kiss to your forehead. “I love you, too.”

Maybe - just maybe - everything is going to turn out okay.

~part 3~

~~ Gen Tag List ~~

/To be added, let me know if you want to be tagged for all my works, a specific series, or a specific character <3

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[leossmoonn]

can i request a fic with stefan where the reader loses her memories (like stefan did in s5) so stefan takes her out to all the places that are special to their relationship and he tells her all about how they used to date and how she loved him and all and then at the end she kisses him ❤️

if not that's okay! have a good day and make sure to drink some water ❤️❤️

okay ill be honest i dont remember anything of tvd from season 4 and on bc it was just so boring to me but YES I CAN DK THIS. and thank you! i hope you have a good day, and hydrate too <33 mwah!

masterlist

warnings / includes - mild language, crying, sad stefan, kissing, eating and food, talk about sex. oh and youre a vampire and grew up w stefan and damon :)) and you’ve been dating stefan ever since you two turned into vampires and you two have been married for 50 years! (yay) . not really edited

————

“can’t you just do your voodoo magic and fix her?”

“that’s not how it works, damon.”

“well, it works whenever elena needs it. just admit it, you don’t like y/n.”

“i do! this is just more complicated -”

“bullshit! i know you don’t know her very well, but we’ve known her since she was born. she’s my best friend and the love of my brother’s life, who, by the way, is about to go into a frenzy if you don’t fix her!”

“i’m trying! but whatever those traveler’s did, i don’t think i can reverse it.”

“argh!” damon growled, putting his hands under a table and ripping it up.

“okay, you need to calm down,” bonnie said. “throwing a fit won’t help.”

“well, i can’t just stand here and watch her die!”

“she’s not dying, she’s just asleep. the doctor said she will wake up soon.”

“oh, as if the doctor knows anything,” damon muttered.

“she actually knows a lot, and we’ll give her the treatments the doctor recommends before we try any magic.”

damon sighed, running his hands over his face. he looked over to you, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. he walked over to you, holding your hand in his.

“please wake up, y/n. please.”

it seemed as damon’s wishes were granted. your eyes fluttered open, a soft groan filled your throat as you tried to move your head back and forth. you peered at bonnie and damon, brows furrowing.

“who are you? and why-why are you holding my hand? get away from me!” you hissed, barring your fangs.

“well, she definitely knows she a vampire,” damon muttered.

bonnie ignored him, coming over to you tentatively. “hey, y/n. do you know who i am?”

“no. i-i want to go home. where am i? why-why does this look so strange? hospitals at home don’t look like this,” you gasped as you looked around your room.

“is she still stuck in the 1800s?” bonnie asked.

“let’s see. uh, y/n, what’s the date?” damon asked.

“1866, right?” you guessed.

“oh, shit,” damon muttered.

“what’s wrong?” you frowned. “y/n, you’re in the 21st century. it’s 2013,” bonnie explained.

your eyes bugged out of your head. “what? how-how can this be? you’re lying! you’re some witch! katherine warned me that you would try to trick me. who are you with? wha-what do you want from me?!”

“okay, crazy pants,” damon sighed. “do you know who i am?” he asked.

you took a good, hard look. “you look familiar… like you’re from a dream.”

“good, good, but do you know my name?”

your brain scrambled for the answer, but it all came up was blank.

“no, i’m sorry.”

“well, crap,” damon muttered. “what if we get stefan? he’s been her boyfriend for like, a hundred and fifty years. plus, they’ve been married for 50. she’s got to remember him,” bonnie suggested.

“yeah, okay,” damon nodded. “go and get him. i’ll stay with her.”

“why don’t i stay with her, and you go get stefan. you might irritate her enough to make her snap your neck,” bonnie snorted.

“fine. i’ll be back in a second. try to use your powers on her,” damon asked.

“no. now go,” bonnie shooed away damon.

he left, zooming through the halls to go and find his brother. meanwhile, bonnie went to sit next to you, taking your hand in hers.

“what are you doing. i said don’t touch me,” you hissed.

“what is your name?” bonnie asked.

“y/n,” you said. “what’s your full name?” she asked.

“y/n l/n,” you answered. “why are you asking me this? do you think i do not know my name?”

“no, no. i just…” bonnie sighed. “what’s your mother’s name?”

“louise,” you said. “and your father’s?” bonnie asked.

“martin. and before you ask, my sister and brother’s names are anna and christopher. are you studying me or something? oh, my… i-i swear i’m not dangerous. i don’t feed on people. not usually, anyways. please, spare me. if you want a real vampire, catch katherine pierce. her real name is katerina petrova. or klaus mikaelson, his whole family needs to be killed. please, i -”

“i’m not going to kill you. no one is going to kill you. and katherine is already dead,” bonnie explained.

“oh, really? well, then ignore what i said about her."

bonnie smiled a little. “it’s alright. do you remember anything that’s happened in the last 24 hours?”

“no, i’m sorry. i must ask again, where am i?” you questioned.

“well, you’re in 2013. about one hundred and forty-nine years from when you were turned into a vampire. that man who was here is damon salvatore. he’s been your best friend ever since you were born. you grew up together, and he turned you into a vampire. i’m bonnie bennett. i am… i have a sort of friendship with damon. i’m a witch from the bennett line. i am here to help you. we’re friends, too, actually.”

“oh,” you pursed your lips. “i’m sorry i don’t remember you. i think i remember one of your family members, though… emma, ella, em-”

“emily, yeah,” bonnie smiled. “well, it’s good to know i’m in good company,” you sighed.

“yes, you are. oh, and there’s one more person i forgot to mention. he’s damon’s brother, stefan. he’s your -”

“y/n!”

your head snapped to the door. a handsome young man stepped into the room, worrying filing his features.

“hello?” you frowned.

“it’s me, stefan. you’re husband,” the man said.

your eyes widened. “i-i- excuse me? my husband? i didn’t know i was-” your breath hitched as you saw the ring on your finger. it was a beautiful silver ring with a blue jewel in the middle, stefan and your name carved in the middle of it.

“oh,” you gasped.

“do you remember me?” he asked, coming closer to you.

you looked back up at him, furrowing your brows as you tried to remember. you shook your head in disappointment. “no, i’m sorry. i wish i could. what happened to me that i can’t remember my own husband?"

“travelers took your memory,” bonnie answered. “travelers? l-like the evil witches?” you guessed.

“yes, precisely,” bonnie nodded.

“well, can you get back my memories? you’re a witch, right?” you asked her.

“exactly! that’s what i was saying. i’m so glad someone gets it!” damon exclaimed.

“i-i’m sorry, who are you again?” you frowned. “damon. i’m damon salvatore. the best salvatore, and your best friend,” he grinned.

“oh, right - damon. and you’re uh, you’re bonnie, correct?” you turned to the brunette.

“i am,” bonnie nodded.

“and you’re…“ you turned to stefan.

hope was shining in his dazzling green eyes. his lips were pulled into a frown, his brows furrowed as tears clouded his eyes.

“you’re stefan! my, uh, my husband whom i can’t remember. i’m so sorry, again.”

“it’s okay,” he sighed. “you just woke up. you’ll probably remember later.”

“yes,” you nodded, “that’s probably it.”

just then, the doctor came in. she checked you out, telling you that you had to stay in the hospital one more night before you could be discharged. after she left, damon, bonnie, and stefan made up a plan.

“i can’t just put her memories back. i don’t have any access to them,” bonnie said.

“can’t you just pull them out of the air or something?” damon asked.

“magic doesn’t work like that, damon,” bonnie glared.

“what if we take her to all her favorite places? places she’s been to lots of times,” stefan suggested.

“yes! that is a great idea, except for the fact that she thinks she’s in the 1800s and most things that were there have been torn down or rebuilt!” damon seethed.

“well, then what else are we supposed to do, damon! we can’t just sit here and hope that her memories will come back. what if they never do!” stefan yelled.

“shut up you two! you’re scaring her!” bonnie hit both of them, then pointing to you.

both of the salvatore’s face softened as they saw your eyes wide with fear.

“look, she doesn’t know you two yet. she doesn’t trust you two. she literally thought we were going to capture her for being a vampire. we need to just take it easy and gain her trust, which won’t be hard, i hope. but i think that stefan’s idea is great. and stefan, you should be the one to do it. you deserve to build the strongest bond with her and to spend the most time with her,” bonnie explained.

stefan smiled at her gratefully. “thank you, bonnie.”

“of course, stefan,” she smiled back at him.

“what about me! i was her friend before you were even born!” damon poked stefan.

“she was literally a baby, damon. she didn’t even know who you were,” stefan scoffed.

“oh, she did. and she loved playing peek-a-boo with me,” damon huffed.

“well, i’ve been her actual best friend just a few months after she was born. you’ve been like the brother she’s never had,” stefan stated.

“same difference.” damon rolled his eyes.

“b-bonnie?” you stammered.

“yeah, what do you need?” bonnie came over to you immediately.

“um, i need to use the bathroom.” you whispered.

“oh, yeah, of course. gentlemen, please exit the room.” bonnie said to the two men.

“alright. hey, y/n, you hungry? we can get you something to eat,” damon asked.

“yes. i’m famished, honestly. um, can i have some meatloaf, please? with some wine?” you requested.

“um, y/n, i’m afraid to inform you that -” damon started, but stefan cut him off.

“we’ll see what we can find,” stefan said.

“thank you… stefan, was it?” you guessed.

“yeah. it’s stefan,” he smiled. “okay, c’mon, lover boy. the lady needs to use the restroom,” damon grabbed stefan, dragging him out of your room and shutting the door.

bonnie then helped you out of the bed and into the restroom, waiting behind the door until you called for help.

“thank you so much. your kindness is very much appreciated.” you smiled at her as she helped you back to bed.

“it’s not a problem.” bonnie sighed with a smile.

“will you be able to get my memories back?” you asked.

“um… no. not right now, i’m sorry,” bonnie frowned.

“oh, well, it’s alright. maybe it’s for the better. i can’t imagine all the horrible things i must have done to you and your friends,” you laughed sourly.

“what do you mean?” bonnie asked.

“well, i… i overheard you a little when i was waking up. damon said that you didn’t like me much. i don’t blame you, i mean, i can be crass and judgmental, but i’ve changed over the years. i-i think, at least. otherwise i suppose i would be dead from those travelers now. no one wants to help a horrible person,” you explained.

“well, you’re not horrible, at all. for someone who has been with damon for like, almost two hundred years, you’re very kind. you’re also very funny and you try to help people the best you can.”

“oh, thank you,” you smiled shyly. “um… what do you mean about being with damon?”

“oh, he’s just um… not my favorite person to be around is all. you’ll see,” bonnie chuckled.

“i think i have, a little,” you giggled. “but he seems to care a lot about me. i suppose he’s known me since i’ve been born.”

“no, he does. honestly, like stefan said earlier, damon is the older brother you never bad.”

“and stefan, he is supposed to be my best friend and lover?”

bonnie smiled, “yes.”

“can you tell me about stefan? do-do you know him well?” you asked.

“i do, actually. he’s so kind, always wanting to help people and be the best. i swear, he works himself to death trying to be the hero. he’s very level-headed and extremely smart. he’s more mellow than damon, definitely, but he has his funny, savage moments. he’s dealt with a lot of pain in his years, and you’ve been there to experience it all. in fact, he always tells us how you are his light. it’s really sweet. i wish someone talked about me like that.”

heat crept up your neck and you couldn’t help but smile. “well, i understand why i fell in love with him, then.”

bonnie chuckled, “yeah, he’s a great guy. he’s probably more rough around the edges now than he used to be, though.”

“well, that’s what happens when you’ve lived for so long,” you chuckled. “i personally think i’ve softened over the years. i remember when i was a little girl, i used to be so quick and temperamental. my mother always tried to reprimand me, but i had a mind of my own, i guess. or that’s what my father used to say. now that i think about it, i think stefan is the reason why i have changed. he’s seemed to rub off on me.”

“wait, are you starting to get your memory back?” bonnie asked, getting excited.

“no, i’m afraid not. well, not of current things. i just am remembering things about myself. i still don’t remember damon or stefan,” you frowned

“oh, well, it’s okay. you only woke up an hour ago. we’ll give it time.” bonnie patted your arm.

“thank you. you must forgive me, i’ve always had a horrible memory. and now with mine taken away, i probably will be a burden.”

“no, no,” bonnie shook her head. “please, you’re our friend. i’m sorry if damon made it seem like i don’t like you, but i do. we just don’t spend time with each other that much, but we definitely will now.”

“i hope you don’t mind it, then.”

“i definitely don’t, don’t worry.”

you two sat in a comfortable silence, stefan and damon coming back only a few minutes later.

“so, you can’t have any wine, so we got you the next best thing: grape juice. and we also didn’t find any meatloaf, but we did find some spaghetti and meatballs,” damon said, setting it all down on the table.

“oh, thank you two so much.” you smiled. you began to get up, your feet slipping suddenly.

stefan rushed to catch you, his hands going under your arms. your eyes met his immediately, your breath getting caught in your lungs. you fell into a sort of a daze as he lifted you back up on your feet.

“my, you’re handsome,” you muttered.

“thank you. you’re beautiful,” stefan smiled.

your jaw fell open, your eyes widening. “o-oh. did i say that out loud? i am so sorry -”

“no, it’s okay. it was really nice to hear that,” he assured you.

“alright, thank you,” you smiled. “of course. my pleasure.” he let go of you, pulling out a chair.

“so, i say we compel the doctor to let you go home now so we can get this show on the road!” damon announced.

“no, they need to monitor her-”

“she’s a freaking vampire, bonnie!” damon exclaimed in a hushed whisper. he then turned to you. “you feel fine, right?”

“yes. a lot better now that i’ve eaten,” you answered.

damon grinned, clapping his hands. “see? she’s fine. i say we get her into her room and let her sleep in her bed.”

“damon, that’s not-”

“excuse me,” you interrupted stefan, peering at him through your eyes. “if you don’t mind me interjecting, i’d quite like to go home. and damon is right, i am a vampire so besides my memories, my body has healed me completely.”

stefan looked at you for a few moments, sighing before talking again. “yeah, that makes sense. are you sure you’re okay to go home? i mean, you almost slipped -”

“i am okay, stefan,” you smiled. “these floors are quite slippery with these socks on.” you moved your feet to show them.

“right,” he nodded. “okay, well, damon? i assume i can trust you to compel the doctors?”

“on it!” damon grinned, rushing out the door.

“is he always this eager to help?” you asked. “only when it comes to you,” stefan chuckled.

“well, i suppose that’s okay, for now,” you hummed.

“yes. you are our first priority,” stefan smiled.

“oh, please don’t let me ruin your daily routine. like you said, damon likes helping me. he seems to not have anything important to do, anyways, no offense.” you lowered your head sheepishly. “but he can help me while you two go to school and such. do you go to high school still?”

“no, we don’t. well, stefan doesn’t, anyways,” bonnie chuckled. “i’m going to college in the fall.”

“oh, that’s wonderful! i see the women have made lots of improvements. what are you going to study?” you asked.

“research and analysis. it’s not really a study, but that’s what i’m majoring in.”

“wow, you must be so smart, then. good for you. i wish i went to college,” you frowned slightly. “

“you did,” stefan spoke up. “oh? what did i study?” you perked up.

“literature. you went around the world teaching english and literature. part of it was to fit in as a human, but another part was because you always had a passion for it.”

“sounds like me,” you smiled. “i loved reading so much. i remember my mother had to hide my books for when we ate dinner.”

“woah, you’re remembering things now?” damon walked into the toom

“not really. i’m only remembering things about myself and my family.”

“damn,” damon muttered. “it’s alright,” stefan said. “anyways, we good to go?”

“indeed we are. let’s roll,” damon said.

stefan helped you out of your seat. you took out your IV, damon rushing you to his car.

“wow. this is beautiful,” you admired his chevy.

“i know! she’s my pride and joy.” damon sighed happily as he opened the door for you.

“thank you,” you smiled at him. he returned the smile, getting into the passenger seat.

“i’ll drive her home, i-”

“actually, can stefan drive me? i’d like to get to know him more. he is my husband, after all,” you said.

stefan’s chest swelled with happiness, his lips upturning into a bright smile.

“i suppose. don’t total my car,” damon warned stefan.

“no promises,” stefan smirked, getting in the driver’s seat. “you know i’m kidding, right? i won’t crash the car.”

“i know, don’t worry,” you smiled. “great,” stefan breathed out as he started the car.

“this is amazing technology. so much faster than the horses.”

“yep. it’s amazing how far we’ve come.”

you nodded, turning your head to look at him. you looked down at his left hand, smiling a little as you saw a silver wedding band.

“how long have we been married for?” you asked.

“50 years. 51 this summer,” he answered. “how long did we date for?” you asked.

“well, we actually didn’t date until we turned vampires. as you probably know, your emotions are heightened once you turn. and our crushes on each other were just too much to ignore, we started dating. we helped each other out a lot, you helped more than me. i mean, i-i was a wreck. with katherine turning us into vampires and all, me killing my dad, damon abandoning me. you were the only person who stuck by me. you know, you were, and still are, my light,” he explained.

you grinned, “bonnie told me that that’s what you call me.”

“ah, she’s told you about me, then. what did she say?” he asked.

“well, she said that you’re very kind and are always wanting to help people. she also said that you are smart and serious, but that you have your breaking moments. she also said that you have experienced a lot of pain. i am sorry to hear that,” you frowned.

“bonnie is very kind. too kind, actually.”

“oh, don’t say that. i happen to think it’s all true. just from what i’ve seen today.”

“thank you. i’m glad i’ve made a good impression.”

“well, you are my husband, so i would think that what bonnie said is true.”

“makes sense,” he nodded. “so, where do i live? with you, i presume?” you questioned.

“yes, and with damon. we live in the salvatore boarding house. it was built for uh, well, boarding in mystic falls.”

“do we have separate rooms?” you asked.

“u-um, no. but, if you’re not comfortable with that, there are plenty of spare rooms-"

"no," you said quickly.

stefan glanced at you, eyes wide in surprise. you chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

"u-um, what i mean is that it is okay. i'll get to know your quicker if we share a room. just um, let me have my privacy?" you requested.

"of course, of course," he nodded. "lovely," you exhaled deeply.

you looked out of your window, observing all the people walking around town square.

"so much has changed," you said, a little nostalgic.

"i know, it's crazy," stefan laughed. "but, i'll take you to all the old places we used to go, and the new ones you have gown accustomed to."

"sounds like a deal. you know, i'm excited. is that um… strange that i am so lively after having just woken up from my memories being taken away?" you chuckled a little.

"no, no, not at all. you were always really happy and upbeat, even on the darkest days. that's one of the reasons why i fell in love with you. you may not believe this, but, i'm kind of a debby-downer. you keep it light and fun, much like damon, actually. seems as though all that time you spent with him, as young as you were, you developed someone his behaviour."

"is that a bad thing? bonnie insinuated that damon isn't a good guy," you frowned.

"no, no. you're different. you pick and choose when to be a little um… eccentric. damon just says whatever comes out of his mouth, no matter what the situation is."

"i suppose that's another reason why you love me?" you grinned. "yes, you suppose right," he nodded.

"is this the boarding house?" you pointed to the mansion stefan was pulling in to.

"yes, it is. and, you can call it your home. that's what it is," stefan said.

"alright. it's beautiful." you admired the front.

"it's even better inside. especially our bedroom. you really know how to decorate." he got out of the car, opening the door for you.

"you're very chivalrous. i like it," you giggled. "well, anything for my girl," he flashed a warm smile.

your stomach flipped suddenly, a similar feeling to your heart hammering in your chest awakened. if your heart was still alive, then you it would be palpitating and ramming into your ribcage. you smiled back at him, getting out of the car.

you two walked together to the front, stefan opening the door without unlocking it.

"do we always keep the door unlocked?" you asked. "yeah. you know, the only people we are really worried about are vampires and well, you can't get in unless you invite them in," he answered.

"oh, right. well, that's nice. we don't have to worry so much about security," you said as you stepped inside.

he nodded in agreement, closing the door behind him once you two went inside.

"wow. you're right, it is better inside," you gasped. "mmhm. so, let me show you around. this is the grand study. it was mostly used by our nephew zach, but damon killed him as soon as he got here," stefan sighed.

"o-oh. and damon is supposed to be my best friend?"

"he's better than that, don't worry. you'll see, you'll remember," stefan patted your back.

"alright," you nodded. "anyways, right here is the library's and just out here is the grand hall. here is the dining room and the living room. back there is the kitchen, and next to it is the hearth room." stefan walked you around the house.

"it's amazing. wow, and to think this is my home," you laughed. "yep, all yours," stefan smiled as he heard your laugh.

he admired you as you walked through the living room, feeling around the bookshelves and the furniture. he missed this, seeing you back at home. before you woke up in the hospital, you had been kidnapped and tortured for two weeks before the travelers dumped you in the backyard of your house. after that, stefan rushed you to the hospital and about a day later you were awake. and now here you were, making yourself at home again. you looked so pretty in the setting sunlight. stefan almost wanted to cry at the relief of finally having you home.

"show me the upstairs?" your voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"yeah, yeah, of course," he nodded. he reached his hand out to you, you taking it graciously.

you both smiled at each other, stefan leading you up the stairs.

"so, up here is damon's room. that's where elena, his girlfriend, and him usually are. they have so much sex, you won't be able to get much rest here," stefan snorted.

"i'll make sure to wear my earplugs," you giggled.

stefan smiled at you, walking you to the next rooms. "these are the baths. and right here is our room. every other room up here is a guest room, but uh, this is the main event, i suppose." he opened the bedroom door, letting you peer inside of it.

he was right, you were a great decorator.

the room had green walls, bookshelves on the walls, and a few plants here and there. there was a big bed in the middle with gray sheets, pictures of the two of you hanging above the bed frame. there was a desk and chair in the middle of the room, books and papers strewn all over the desk top. there were picture of you two all over the walls, making you smile whilst also crying.

"what's wrong?" stefan rushed to you.

"oh, it's nothing. i just…" you sighed, turning to him. "these pictures are so lovely. i-i wish i could remember these events."

stefan took your hand in his, giving you a small smile. "don't worry about it. it's not your fault that you can remember.”

"right," you nodded, still disappointed in yourself.

"why don't we go and walk around town? maybe that'll help get your memories back," stefan suggested.

"that sounds fun, but i don't think walking around will reverse dark magic," you joked.

stefan chuckled, nodding in agreement. "you're right, but, you're starting to remember your own childhood. we don't know what the travelers took from you, so maybe they didn't take the memories of you and i. you might just have amnesia."

"i'd love to do anything to try and remember," you said. "me, too. before we go, do you want to change clothes? you've had these clothes on for two weeks," stefan gestured to your ripped shirt and dirty jeans.

"oh, yes. i didn't even realise i was wearing these." you looked down at your legs, eyes widening at the fact you were wearing pants. "when did they invent these?"

"1873, but women still couldn't wear them until the 19th century. and even then, women didn't wear them as regular clothing until the mid-20th century," he explained.

“well, i’m glad that i’ve stayed alive this long to be able to wear these. what are they called again?” you asked.

“jeans,” stefan answered. he walked over to your closet, opening it and presenting all your clothes. “and you have lots of jeans. so, go ahead and get changed into whatever. if you want to shower then go ahead, the bathroom is to the right.”

you nodded, “thank you. i’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“no problem. take your time,” he smiled.

you returned the expression, watching him as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

you went to your closet, running your hands over your clothes. you had lots of grey, purple, and blue shirts. you saw lots of ripped jeans, some were their regular blue and others were white or black. you chose a light purple, short- sleeved shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans. you found a pair of black panties and a black bra to match.

you went into the bathroom, turning the shower on and undressing. you put your dirty clothes in a near pile on the floor as you didn’t know where the hamper was. you set your clean clothes onto the bathroom sink, jumping into the shower.

the hot water felt so good, it was hard to get out, but you didn’t want to keep stefan waiting too long. you dried off quickly, looking at yourself in the mirror after you got dressed. you didn’t realize, but you were very dirty and tired-looking before showering. you looked better now. more awake, clean, and pretty.

you didn’t bother putting on makeup, not even knowing where you kept it. you went downstairs, finding stefan in the living room reading a book.

“i am ready,” you announced.

stefan looked up, jaw dropping as he looked over you.

“you look gorgeous,” he spoke.

you smiled shyly, lowering your head in bashfulness. “thank you. it’s not much, just a comfortable outfit.”

“doesn’t matter. you look amazing,” he shrugged.

“thank you, again.”

“of course,” he smiled. “let’s go ahead and go, yeah?”

you nodded, slipping on your shoes as you followed him out to the garage. you got into stefan’s car, driving back to town square.

“a lot of places have been built or torn down. i’m going to take you to the places we used to go to in this century, then go to the places from long ago that have been torn down,” he explained.

“sounds good,” you nodded.

he parked next to the strip mall, getting out and opening the door for you.

“are men still as chivalrous as you?” you jumped out of the car.

“no, not at all, but i like to be known as a gentleman. it sets a good first impression,” he answered.

“that’s sad,” you frowned. “it is. honestly, most guys nowadays are jerks and are selfish. no one teaches kindness anymore,” he sighed.

“well, i’m thankful i chose a man who still cares about those things. it really reflects on what kind of man you are.”

“i agree,” stefan nodded.

you two walked onto the side walk, stefan lacing your fingers together and guiding you into a store.

“this is your favorite store in the whole

town square. you always rave about the good deals and i’ve bought you lots of jewelry here,” he explained.

you hummed in reply, looking over the store. “it’s quaint. i see how it would appeal to me.”

“yeah, this store is the most popular one here, i’m pretty sure.”

“the owner must be rich, then.”

“probably is,” stefan nodded.

he then led you out of the store, explaining all the other stores and restaurants in the town square before stopping and showing you a specific place you liked.

“this is the grill, the most popular restaurant here. you and caroline, who you have yet to meet, love to sing karaoke here. you and bonnie and elena, who again, you have yet to meet, play pool here and get tipsy on the weekend.”

“what is karaoke and pool?” you questioned.

“karaoke is when you pick a song you like, and you sing it with a friend, or sometimes yourself. a lot of bars have karaoke, and some restaurants do, like this one. it’s just a fun activity for drunk people, honestly. and pool

is this game over there. you see those people

shooting the balls with the sticks?” he pointed across the room.

you studied them, seeing as they would curse in disappeared, or jump and clap in happiness.

“yes, it looks fun.”

“it is, and you’re quite good at it. maybe tomorrow you can meet everyone else and i’ll teach you how to play,” he suggested.

“i would like that very much,” you smiled.

“me, too,” he smiled back. “are you hungry? we can take a break from walking and get something to eat.”

“my stomach does ache a little. what kind of food do they have here?”

“burgers, fries, salad. classic american stuff, basically. i can order what you usually do.”

“sure, but i’m afraid to tell you that i have no money,” you sighed.

“it’s not a problem. this is my treat. plus, we have a joint bank account so, it doesn’t really matter who pays.””

“wow, that’s nice.”

“it definitely is.”

stefan then led you to a small booth, ordering immediately once the waiter came.

“tell me more about yourself,” you prompted.

stefan stared at you, not expecting you to want to know about him. it wasn’t completely surprising, but you just seemed a lot more interested in the town than him. he was happy that you asked, though. it reassured him that you two had a chance, even if you two had to rebuilt your relationship.

“okay, well, my birthday is november 1st, 1846. my favorite color is blue, my favorite type of alcohol is bourbon, but i do like a glass of whiskey every once in a while. one of my best friends was lexi branson. she was also your friend, too, but damon killed her for absolutely no reason.”

“oh, my - i am so sorry, stefan,” you gasped. “oh, it’s alright. damon has uh, since proved himself to be better… unfortunately,” stefan sighed.

you put your hand on his, looking him in the eyes.

“it’s not alright, stefan. i know you say damon is a lot better than people say, and that he has proven himself better, but that doesn’t justify what he did. i’m so sorry you lost lexi. i understand what it is it like to lose someone so close to you. i’m sure you remember, but i lost christopher only a few years after we became vampires. i don’t remember all of it, but i do remember terrorizing a whole village because of the anger and depression i felt. i’m sure lexi was an amazing young woman. one day, i would love it if you told me more about her.”

stefan smiled at you gratefully, eyes prickling with tears. “thank you, y/n. it means a lot to me. and yes, i’d love to tell you about her.”

“fantastic.” you squeezed his hand for support, the gesture warming his chest. “anyways, go on,” you said, keeping your hand on his.

“alright. well, i love i love lucy, which is a ‘50s sitcom that, funnily enough, you hated,” he chuckled.

“what is a sitcom and why did i hate it?” your brows knitted together in confusion.

“well, a sitcom is a comedy tv show. and a tv show is content that is broadcasted onto something that is called a television, which was the big black screen in the living room of our house. sitcom is a type of tv show. there are sitcoms, dramas, romance, horror, and lots of others. a lot of these genres bleed together, much like books. and as for why you hated the show, you just thought it was annoying because i would watch it all the time.”

“well, i do have a short temperament, so that explains it, i suppose. that tv show thing is a little confusing. can you show me how it works when we get home?”

“yes, of course. i can show you your favorite tv shows and movies,” he nodded eagerly.

“lovely,” you smiled at his enthusiasm. “so, what else do you like?”

“well, i am a fan of scorcese, who is a famous tv director. he directed taxi driver, which is a film i am a fan of. i love to cook, and i’m quite good at it, if i do say so myself. um, let’s see… what else is there…” he trailed off, looking at the table as he thought. “i am a bit or a hoarder, as you probably could see in our room. i enjoy any and all types of music, i have a rose tattoo on my right shoulder, and i am a scorpio, if that means anything to do.”

he looked back up at you, the tips of his ears turning pink as he realized you were staring and smiling at him the whole time.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“it’s just nice hearing all these things about you. i can piece together who you are, who the man i am married to is. it’s obvious you don’t open up to people a lot, and i appreciate you doing that with me,” you explained.

“oh, well, it’s no problem. you’ll remember all these things, anyways. but this is just surface level stuff, nothing special.”

“i think it is special and important. now that i know you a little better, i’m able to talk to you more and be more comfortable.”

“mm, that’s true,” he nodded.

you gave him a small smile, your food then arriving.

“wow, this is a lot,” you chuckled, looking at the cheeseburger and fries.

“it’s really good, too,” stefan said.

“how do i eat this?” you asked. “pick it up in your hands and take a bite, like this.” stefan took a bite of his burger and fries.

you followed in suit, groaning in pleasure.

“my, they never had this food at home. this is delicious.”

“i know, right? so glad america stopped the wine and beef soup at dinner.”

you giggled, nodding in agreement. you two ate in silence, stefan paying before you two left.

“do you want to continue going around town, or are you tired?” stefan asked.

“i want to continue,” you stated.

“alright. time to go to all the torn down places now,” he sighed, walking you back to his car.

you two drove a little ways away from town square, finding yourselves at the cemetery.

“are anna, christoper, and my mother buried here?” you asked.

“yes, they are. do you want to see their graves?” stefan asked.

you sat in the car for a few moments, holding your seatbelt in thought. you shook your head as an answer.

“no, i would hate to put a damper on this lovely evening.”

“oh, well, it’s okay. you always manage to make things bright and happy, even when we’re visiting the cemetery, but if you really don’t want to, then i’ll take you to the salvatore estate, and where your house was located.”

“mm, i am sure. we can visit some other time,” you smiled.

he returned the expression. “alright.” he got out, going to open the door for you, but you had already jumped out.

“sorry, i um, wanted to see how the door works,” you admitted sheepishly.

stefan grinned, finding your curiosity adorable. “no worries. ready to go?”

“indeed i am,” you nodded.

you took the initiative and laced your fingers with his. stefan glanced at you, his chest swelling with joy. it was almost like old times.

“so, where is the salvatore estate?” you asked.

“it’s just a mile into the woods. there’s only a singular pillar there because it got torn down, but the pillar marks the spot where the house stood.”

“why did it get torn down? it was such a beautiful home. surely someone from these days would want to live in it,” you frowned.

“you’d think that, but i guess folks these days want something more modern. but, wait, do you remember my house?” hope filled his eyes, carrying all the way through his voice.

“i think i do. it seems… familiar in my mind. i remember the front of the house, the beautiful entrance and the pretty rose bushes, the steps that led up to the door. i remember a room… it was of medium size. there was a big bed in the middle, a deep-sea blue carpet under it. there was a bug mirror across from the bed, a painting or two hung up on the walls. there was a small desk in the corner next to the closet. the room is very empty, but it brings back feelings of warmth and calmness.”

“yeah, that was my room. you spent most of your summer’s in there with me.”

“oh,” your eyes lit up. “you said that we didn’t officially get together until after we were vampires, but i remember being in the bed in lots of white, button-up shirts. did we-?” you looked to him, eyes wide and hoping he would say yes.

his cheeks were tainted pink as he nodded. “yes, we had lots of fun nights, but not all of them consisted of sex.”

“i see,” you nodded, a little smile on your face. “what else did we do besides sleep together, then?”

“well, most times we just laid there in each other’s arms. sometimes i would read to you and you would fall asleep in my arms. other times we danced, sang, talked about the future together. and let me tell you, we definitely did not imagine an eternity together, but i’m really glad it turned out that way. despite all the pain we suffered.”

your chest warmed as you imagine you two in the 1800s, doing more and being more than just friends with intimate relations.

“does damon know of this?” you questioned.

“he does, but no one else doesn’t. to make things easier, we just told everyone that we started dating after we became vampires, and that we got married in 1963, which we did.”

“and how was the wedding?” you asked.

“the best night of my life,” he grinned. “we have lots of pictures of that night in the living room and our room, which i will show you when we get back.”

“i can’t wait,” you smiled giddily.

you squeezed stefan’s hand, the gesture making both of your body’s shiver.

“here it is,” he said, taking you closer to the singular pillar.

you let go of his hand slowly, walking around the property. you closed your eyes, feeling the cool breeze fan your face. you stood in the middle, right where the living room be. lots of memories then flooded back to you, making you snap your eyes open.

“your father didn’t like us together,” you stated.

stefan furrowed his brows. “yes, how-how do you know that?”

you didn’t answer him, continuing to reminisce.

“i was meant to wed damon, yet, i fell in love with you. your mother would let us play together, knowing that the fate your father decided wasn’t going to happen. she accepted us. she actually liked us better together than damon and i. she thought damon was too wild, too untamed to settle down so young. he was like her, in that way. but you, once you saw me at our first ball at age 14, you knew i was the one. i remember you telling me this one night on my sixteenth birthday. you had taken me up to your room, sneaking up extra cake for me, and we laid together on your bed. that was both of our first time that night - it was amazing. you told me before we went to bed about your growing feelings for me. that night we both said ‘i love you’ for the first time.”

stefan stared at you, mouth agape and tears welling in his eyes.

“you-you really remember that?”

“i do,” you smiled slowly at him. “i remember the marks you left on my skin, the joy i felt as you held my hand, the way i cried when you told me that you loved me. i-i’m afraid that this is all i remember, but -“

“no, no, it’s enough. it’s more than enough,” he sniffled, coming closer to you. he slipped his hand into yours, his other hand wrapping around your waist.

you smiled, putting your free hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb up and down on his cheekbones. you looked into his eyes, studying his face as your hand went up and ran itself through his hair. you brought your hand back down to cup his cheek, your fingers dancing along his jawline.

“i also remember skipping school, playing football in the backyard, me wearing your shirt for the first time and it leading to us sleeping together again,” you giggled.

“how do you remember all of this?” he asked.

“the travelers must’ve just took all the important information about us, which we can deal with later. i want to enjoy this moment now,” you breathed out.

“thank god that they took that important stuff. it’s not that important once you think about it,” he nodded.

“i agree. i bet damon wouldn’t agree about that, though,” you joked.

“well, damon has never been madly in love until the last couple of years. but, me? i’m been in love with you forever.”

your lips spread widely and you looked deeply into his eyes, feeling yourself falling for him again.

“i love you,” you exhaled. stefan grinned, “i love you more.”

“nu-uh,” you shook your head. “mmhm,” he smirked.

you moved in closer, your nose bumping his softly. your eyes flickered down from his eyes to his lips multiple times before closing the gap. your lips met his in slow motion, immediately moving with his. his lips were soft and kissed you well, like he had done this a million times before, and couldn’t wait to do it again. he held you close against him, breathing in deeply at the taste of your lips. he felt at peace once again, whole and complete. and as for you, you felt alive.

every atom in your body was humming in pleasure. the feeling of his hands in your body, fitting right in with your curves, were like finally finishing a puzzle. it gave you butterflies, the way he tasted and smelled. the way he kissed you was delicious. it was gentle, but passionate. his lips worked against yours quickly, his tongue sliding against yours, eliciting a small moan from your throat. your teeth bumped each other gently, causing the kiss to then become fast, needy, hot.

you pulled away before anything else could commence, your chest heaving up and down. a line of spit broke off from your lips, breaking off as the breeze ran through it.

“remember anything else now?” stefan breathed out.

“just how much i’ve missed you,” you stated.

“i’ve missed you, too, baby. wanna go and see where old home was now?”

“yes, i’d love that,” you nodded. “great. come and follow me, then we can go home and i’ll make you your favorite meal, okay?” he suggested.

“that sounds amazing.”

“i’m so glad to have you back, y/n,” he squeezed your hand.

“i’m glad to be back.”

————

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[books-and-dragons]

pegoryu (pre-established) post-interrogation hurt/comfort fic. has mentions of nightmares, trauma, and implied physical assault. unedited and for that i big apologise in advance

___________

okay!!! so this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months (lol what else is knew i know, shush i’m getting to the point) and i was supposed to post it on ao3 at the same time as i did a couple of others, however never got around to it bc it needed editing and im too lazy for that

likelihood is, i will edit and post to ao3 at some point, but it needs some BIG rennovations and i just can’t be arsed atm

so yeah, apologies for the shoddy writing in advance xoxo

but for now, i wanted to post it on here. today. as a sign of goodwill for the year to come. (ie. i own p5r, still havent played it, need to play it, and hope posting this will kick me into gear)

so, hope you enjoy!! and lmao if not it’ll just get buried as i start to revive this blog so,...win win?

In the first few nights since the interrogation, Ryuji stayed awake, listening to the fragile shudders of Akira’s breath in the night. So sensitive to every breath of air restricted by broken ribs, Ryuji hadn’t needed to look across the room, to gaze at the beaten figure on the bed, to know how his face was contorted in pain- unmasked in sleep.

He refused to so much as close his eyes until Akira’s breathing levelled out, still shuddering and restricted by pain, but deep enough to assure him that Akira was asleep. Only then, Ryuji allowed himself to rest.

Nobody else stayed the night. They lingered until the last train, crowded around the attic bedroom, gaze worriedly resting on Akira until the final second, where they’d leave with the accompanying chime of Leblanc’s door closing. But not Ryuji.

Ryuji, who had refused to leave Akira’s side since the moment he’d returned to their arms, beaten and drugged up, hardly coherent, but so relievingly and perfectly alive.

Akira hadn’t been alone since, Ryuji ensured that much. Torn over so much as going across the road for a bath, he couldn’t leave the other boy alone- something pulled at him to never let that happen, a pit of fear in the bottom of his stomach that pulled at his every nerve.

Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares, the visions of Akira lying broken on cold tile, at the mercilessly unrelenting hands of the police, the images of Akira lying dead, blood pooling from his head, the way the images seemed to haunt him even when awake- but there was no point reading into it. It wasn’t important, especially not now.

What mattered was that when he woke up, breath haggard and skin shining with sweat under the light of outdoor streetlamps, Akira never woke. Wasn’t even perturbed. 

Ryuji tried to be thankful for it, tried not to think about why Akira was suddenly such a deep sleeper. Ignored the puncture wounds on his neck, the bottle of painkillers by his bedside. Akira was resting, and that was enough.

Even if it didn’t make sense that, when morning rose, the dark circles under Akira’s eyes had grown. That he tried to muffle pained yawns behind bandaged hands, and begged for more coffee- even though Takemi had put him on a temporary ban.

Because Ryuji had seen him sleeping, watched the rise and fall of his chest as Ryuji reminded himself that Akira was alive and safe, it was the sight that lulled him back to sleep from a nightmare. So why did Akira always look so tired?

He tried not to let his growing concern show, there was already so much to be worried about, he didn’t want to add another. Especially not when it could be nothing but his own annoying thoughts.

It wasn’t until the next night, after a particularly painful and thorough visit from Takemi earlier that day, that Ryuji started to reconsider.

Blearily opening his eyes to the dark lighting of the attic, Ryuji didn’t need a clock to know it was well into the middle of the night, and that he’d been woken up from his sleep, again.

But it was weird. There was none of the usual constricting fear, the blind panic- he’d hardly even started seeing the figure of a beaten Akira surrounded by shadow, let alone begun imagining the worst. 

About to blame it on the lumpy and painful springs of the couch and try to fall back asleep, Ryuji caught it. Quiet, as if muffled by something, but just loud enough to penetrate through the silence in the attic and reach Ryuji: crying.

No. Not crying.

Sobbing.

Ice burning in his stomach, he carefully lifted the blanket and rose, wary of creaking springs and the sound of rustling fabric, towards the shaking figure on the bed.

His voice was barely above a whisper, carrying clearly and softly through the silence as he carefully extended an arm, not touching, only hovering, “Akira?”

The responding flinch broke Ryuji’s heart all the more, as a head rose from under the covers, bloodshot eyes wide and darting around the room in panic, hair wildly askew. 

Moving as slowly as he dared, Ryuji sat at the side of the bed, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

As the mattress shifted under him, Akira froze. Muscles tight and unyielding, back as ramrod straight as his broken ribs would allow, the entire body braced for something Ryuji didn’t even want to think about. His gaze was distant, somewhere far away from Leblanc, from the blond sat right beside him.

It reminded Ryuji of his Ma, in the months after the divorce. Curled up together on the dingy bed, they’d cling to each other so tight even in sleep, waking up in the morning sweaty and sometimes a little uncomfortable, never minding because they woke feeling completely safe. But there were the nights when his Ma’s screams would wake him in the early hours, recoiling and shaking even in her sleep. Ryuji would sit upright and watch over her until sunrise, would try to pull her from the memories he knew haunted her. Haunted them both.

Looking at Akira, the striking familiarity of the situation made him want to hurl.

He didn’t move, no matter how strong the urge was to reach out and console his hurting best friend. Instead, he kept his voice quiet, just audible above the laboured sobs, and waited.

“You’re okay, Akira. You’re safe, I’m not goin’ anywhere, alright? You’ve got me, it’s okay-”

Slowly, the frantic scanning of the room stopped. Staring at the artificial yellow light that bathed Leblanc’s street, following it into the shadows of the attic, where dark figures seemed to fade away. The flash of blond in his vision, perfectly still, aside from the hushed mutterings leaving chapped lips.

Akira focused on that sound. It felt safe.

As Ryuji uttered soft words of reassurance, he watched the tension slowly leave Akira’s body. Shoulders slightly slouched, jaw unclenched, his lip was bleeding- but he could worry about that later. All that mattered was the softening of Akira’s lines, as he slowly came back to Ryuji.

Delicately as he dared, he reached out. Hand brushing against bruised skin, careful not to as much as press on the marred areas. For a moment, there was no response. He waited, watching the panic continue to leave until, slightly trembling, Akira’s hand interlaced with his own.

“Ryuji?” The hazed look in his eyes was clearing, staring at Ryuji with a newly discovered relief, which was quickly overtaken by shame, “Shit- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, just go back to sleep I’m fine-”

“Hey no, no man it’s okay, really-” Feeling Akira begin to pull away, Ryuji let his thumb run over the back of his hand, determinedly meeting Akira’s gaze, “I don’t mind.”

Akira opened his mouth, ready to retort and insist, but found himself silenced by the look in the other boy’s eyes. Ryuji’s hand was warm, and for a moment Akira forgot there were even any injuries there at all, thumb tracing over them with such a delicate touch he hadn’t known the blond to have possessed.

Staring into Ryuji’s eyes, he wondered at how they were always so open and unguarded, never with anything to hide- a true reflection of his best friend, passionate and honest to a fault. It was something Akira had often envied, that ability to always be his true self, to freely display his emotions. 

He almost took that back now, staring back into deep brown eyes. Eyes which so clearly reflected hurt and worry.

The raw concern so honestly displayed to him that, just in this moment, Akira decided he would allow himself to be vulnerable. Just this one time. Knowing that, as they had done for each other so many times before, Ryuji would never judge.

Hesitantly, Akira pulled his hand out of Ryuji’s and, ignoring the concerned look he got in return, allowed his hand to trace higher, around his forearm, pulling him closer with a silent plea.

As always, Ryuji understood.

Carefully reaching out, Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him to his chest. His touch is firm, but cautious of the bruising and bandages decorating Akira’s abdomen. Even then, careful as he was, the occasional shift sent twinges of pain up Akira’s spine. And yet, he found he didn’t mind- not when he was so surrounded by warmth and comfort and the steady beat of Ryuji’s heart just audible through his chest, that for a minute Akira feels like he can just forget-

Somehow, Ryuji shifts so they’re leaning against the back wall, Akira’s head resting high on Ryuji’s chest, ear pressed to his left side. Logically, Ryuji supposed now would be a good time to ask about what just happened, about the dark circles under Akira’s eyes and the fear still lingering when he caught sight of shadows in the room- but there would be other opportunities. When Akira wasn’t so damn exhausted and clinging to Ryuji like he’s the final lifeline holding Akira together. When neither of them would be waking up in the middle of the night, a frenzied mess, and worrying about suspicious strangers in public and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Yeah, there would be other times to talk. But for now, Ryuji would stay with Akira and listen as his breathing mellowed out into deep breaths, as his grip on the blond weakened and he cuddled closer still, lost to the throes of sleep.

Ryuji will stay with him until the sun rises.

Neither of them were plagued by nightmares for the rest of the night.