#Don't take this too seriously

[corgiteatime]

You couldn't take Astarion to see Nosferatu in the theater. Not because it'd be triggering for him or anything. But because every five minutes, he'd turn to you with the saddest eyes imaginable and hysterically ask, "I don't look like that, right?! Most vampires don't look like that!" And you'd have to reassure him through the whole 132 minutes run time.

[marvelmaniac715]

I like to think that Doctor Who from the Master's perspective could be called 'One Man's Quest To Get His Spouse To Come Back Home And Abandon His Massive Ant Colony'. Everything is so much funnier if you picture the Master being absolutely baffled at the Doctor defending Earth, because he's borderline immortal whilst humans die so quickly - killing a human is like stepping on a spider, and the Doctor is the guy who swoops in with a cup and paper to move the spider outside even if the decision seems nonsensical. I like to reframe the Master's attempts to take over the universe as him desperately asking the Doctor "we could get a dog? Or a cat? Or adopt? Are the ants really worth it, you have no other hobbies".

[jackienatist]

saw someone call tai masc... she's not masc nor femme but a secret third thing (so stripped of a sense of self she mirrors her partners)

[fallen-lucifiel]

[izzymarksthespot]

Both are correct lol

[spicypepperjack]

I'm just imagining a scene where Jinx visits Ekko in Zaun after an extended period of time. She opens her arms wide, beckoning Ekko to hug her. With an apologetic face, she says "Did you miss me?".

When Ekko runs to hug her, she smirks evilly and suplexes him. With Ekko crumpled on the ground, she mounts him and cackles, "Now we're even from the bridge!"

Then they make out and fuck, the end.

[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ Based on the most common Dottore content I see (and obsess with), so choose wisely...

(Also, artists that can draw horror art style of Dottore - please teach me 🙏 you have my utmost respect, because it's harder than it looks to nail the vibe.)

[lianmilanesa]

[marshmallowwitharubberband]

A date with every SKZ member except it's the worst possible date they could take you on.

I.N.

The "date" consists on you sitting in his room while he tries on every single piece of clothing he owns to find the perfect outfit to go out. By the time he's done everything is closed and you're fast asleep.

Chan

He takes you to his studio to watch him make songs with his headphones on for sixteen hours. No, you can't listen to what he's working on to avoid leaks. At least he looks hot while working.

Changbin

You invited him for Netflix and Chill so you pick a brainless action movie to not-watch together. He gets so invested in it he completely forgets about the "and Chill" part. This is how you find out he's the type to speak during the whole movie and scream at the characters as if they could hear him.

Hyunjin

You decide to go to one of those cafes where they have little canvases for couples to paint together. He gets so engrossed in his art he ends up completely ignoring you, then has a very dramatic and sassy discussion with the owner about the "correct" way to brew an espresso. Hyunjin is in the wrong but, on God, this is the hill he'll die on. You get banned from the cafe.

Felix

He genuinely thinks playing League of Legends together—each in your own house– is a good idea for a date. He forgets to teach you how to play. At least you get to learn some new and creative ways of cursing. "I will fvck ur dad and get pregnant to give him a son he actually loves, u cvnt" sounds good in his voice.

Han

The date starts out relatively ok but Han is the type to attract bad luck at random so, by the end of the night you're dripping wet with dirty river water, a goose bit you, you've both been arrested, and you're pretty sure you've caught some type of ancient curse from that weird old lady. You just wanted to go for some ramen and a walk at the park.

Seungmin

You were pleasantly surprised when he showed up at your job on his car.

"Get in, loser, we're going to commit tax fraud"

And you do. He's actually very good at it.

Lee Know

You thought you were going on a date. Now you're an accomplice for murder. You can't even be mad at him, he's adorable when he's laughing maniacally.

[emphemeral-astralreader]

Before First Meeting:

Burning Spice Cookie: I will find you, Thief!

During First Meeting:

Burning Spice Cookie: I will fight you, Bird!

After First Meeting:

Burning Spice Cookie: I will fuck you, Wife!

Golden Cheese Cookie: Confused and baffled noises

[moonxpalace]

Snippets from the Champion side of Bluesky

[accio-bagel]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[marvelmaniac715]

'Polyphemus' from Epic the musical if Polyphemus was a biblically accurate angel:

Odysseus: I'm so glad we see eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye... Polites: Is he going to stop? Eurylochus: No, I think he's going to count every eye...

[rebeccathenaturalist]

wow the banana slugs are big this year

[mirellapryce]

Terrible theory, but I think part of the reason everyone in Port Townsend falls for Edwin is the accent. Yes, both Charles and Edwin have a British accent, but Edwin has the stereotypically "Hot, British Accent" (from a North American perspective).

[wulleooo]

i had a funny convo with my friends after listening to black peter pt2 and then suddenly the stylus was in my hand