#Don't mind that it's 5 AM I haven't slept yet

[agent-plaguemask]

TUMBLR PLEASE YOU'VE ALREADY POSTRD MY SHIT WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE TRYIGN TO PROCESS WHAT ARR YOU DOING

[monsamborabutterfly]

I really don't know but the happy ending loving little hopeless romantic in me really wants to see the typical route in only friends.

All three of the couples happy and in love in the end.

I know I know it's not realistic and given how messy this show is maybe not even a good idea. But angsty shit with a happy payoff is SO MUCH fun in fiction.

I even like that it's a little unrealistic. I'm watching these shows to escape reality.

Break my heart & put me through it but give me the sweetness in the end & the queers their happy ending please & thank you so I can swoon over pretty actors with good chemistry being all lovey dovey for a bit.

And yeah look here I could also see the messiest ending. Everyone broken and alone.

But messy and broken characters realizing that sometimes changing and fighting for something is worth it is just chef's kiss 💋

[kazumist]

3 hours, 27 minutes, and maybe around 2 seconds. no, miya atsumu is not going insane. what do you mean? he's perfectly calm. but with the amount of missed calls, ignored messages, and attention that he's been giving to the time right now, maybe—just maybe—he's losing his mind a bit.

he had no idea what he had done wrong to deserve this. of course, there was the possibility that you slept in since it is currently a sunny saturday after all, but between you and atsumu, he was the one who would usually sleep in until god knows when.

atsumu had made prior plans for the day. and that was to go out on a walk with you (a quick date to a café as well), go back to his place, and either play video games with you and osamu or watch some movies while cuddling. a perfect plan for a lazy saturday if he had to say so himself, if only he didn't fail at the first step: asking you out for the day.

well, technically, he didn't fail. it's just that you have been responsive as of now. atsumu is at least 90% sure that he did nothing wrong. when he walked you home yesterday, you were quite fine! you even gave him a quick peck on the cheek before going inside your home (that made atsumu actually go to bed while smiling like an idiot, but of course you don't need to know that).

it took him another 5 minutes of waiting before saying fuck it, and getting himself ready to check up on you himself. (actually, he made sure to stop by a convenience store first to buy a few snacks to bring you.)

the moment the door in front of him opened, he expected to see you. but the one who greeted him instead was none other than your younger sibling. "are you here for (y/n)?" your sibling asked him. "uhm. yeah, i am. they haven't been responding to me at all," he says.

"sick in bed, so they've been there ever since this morning."

oh, so that's why you haven't been responding to him.

"can i come in then?"

your sibling opened the door more and stepped aside, a sign of inviting him, which he gladly accepted. he started heading to your room, a plastic bag filled with snacks still in hand. he gently knocks on your door, waiting for a go signal to get in.

"yes mom, i already took my medicine!" he heard you say in a sick voice. from what he could tell so far, your nose was probably clogged right now, which was why your voice sounded a bit different than before.

"i didn't know i was your mom now." atsumu chuckles.

"tsumu?"

"the one and only, baby."

"you can come in." your boyfriend gladly opens the door and waltzes into your room. however, he didn't expect you to be so wrapped in your blankets. "sorry about earlier. mom has been nagging me a bit about my medicine."

atsumu places the plastic bag on your desk nearby. "i tried reaching out to you everywhere, but you weren't responding, so i got worried and decided to check up on you," he says, proceeding to sit on the edge of your bed. you pull up the blanket on you, covering half of your face. "sorry about that, my phone died on me last night. it hurts me to move around right now, so i haven't plugged it in." 

"it's alright; you shouldn't move around that much anyway," atsumu replies before getting up and plugging your phone in right after. he was about to go closer until you stopped him. "wait! don't come closer."

"what? baby, why?"

"i might get you sick as well if you do," you pout.

he chuckles at your words: "my immune system is pretty strong, you know?"

"but still…"

"baby, it's fine." he kisses your forehead. "i got you some snacks, by the way, but with you being sick right now, i don't think you can eat 'em."

"awe.. just one bite?"

now, don't look at him that way. not when you both know he's weak to that pleading look on your face, especially with those pouty lips that he'd love to kiss right now if you weren't having a burning fever at the moment.

"fine… just one."

yet one turned into two, two turned into three, and so on!

if there's one thing that could make miya atsumu weak in the knees, it's you.

(by the time your boyfriend got home, he was sneezing, and when the time came, it was your turn to take care of him now.)

a/n: i dont like this one bit tbh... i also forgot to change the you and your to ya and yer 😭 probably ooc atsumu but this is just pure word vom 🧍‍♀️

[autism-autobot]

LMK Angst Fic Part 5

Author's note: I think there need to be more platonic and friendship cuddling in media and in the world, so here we are. (Definitely not touch starved nope not me!)

Part 4:

It was around three in the morning in the celestial realm. Nezha had become accustomed to sleeping beside Sun Wukong every night and had even begun to enjoy it despite the reason why they started doing it. He had always thought of Wukong as a good friend and companion, which he didn't have very many of thanks to his workaholic attitude. Him and Wukong had even become quite comfortable with each other.

Nezha was aroace and Wukong still considered himself spoken for since his previous marriage had ended in death and not divorce. So it was as platonic as could be. However, they were both touch-starved and emotionally neglected as children, so there's that.

Wukong and Nezha had grown used to falling asleep snuggled up next to each other, with limbs tangled in weird form around each other. But neither of them were exactly still while they slept, so Nezha wasn't immediately concerned when he couldn't feel Wukong next to him when he flopped his arm around beside him to try and find the monkey he'd grown so close to.

Until he heard the whimpering.

That can't be good.

Nezha bolted upright in the bed. He searched the dark room for his friend's ginger-colored fur. He found it at the edge of the bed.

After clambering over to Wukong's side he gently and quietly asked:

Nezha: Wukong, are you awake? What's the matter?

SWK: *sobbing* I-it's my head! It's hurting! It hurts so bad! Please-

Nezha: Shhhhh, Wukong. It's alright. I'm here, it's okay. You'll be okay.

Nezha had become accustomed to Wukong's post-circlet migraines and various other symptoms of Wukong's traumas. It seemed as though even after Wukong had learned to cope with the physical damage done to him, his body had not, and was therefore having it's own posttraumatic episodes.

Nezha had found ways to sooth him luckily.

Nezha laid Wukong in his original position on his side of their shared bed and put an ice pack on his forehead. He then lit some incense and lightly wafted the fumes in Wukong's direction so he could smell it. That was more to soothe the monkey's panic than anything.

After laying back down beside Wukong, Nezha wrapped an arm around his chest.

Nezha: Are you comfortable enough?

SWK: I think so.....*gasps*

Nezha: Wukong what-

SWK: Hot flash. Don't worry, it's already over. Gosh, that felt bad.

Nezha: It will be alright my friend. I am here.

SWK: Thank you. For everything.

Nezha: No problem, I quite enjoy your company. I just wish you weren't in pain as often as you are.

SWK: You and me both.

~~~

They slept for a few more hours before getting up. Sun Wukong tended to be very weak during and after a migraine, as was the design of the circlet he once wore. Nezha helped him to the downstairs living room and set him up on the couch.

SWK: Ow.

Nezha: Sorry.

SWK: Nah, it's fine. I should be the one saying sorry to you.

Nezha: Whatever do you mean by that?

SWK: You're always having to help me out with stuff and getting me out of trouble.

Nezha: That is only half true. Besides, I do not mind taking care of you.

SWK: But don't you think of me as weak for needing help like this?

Nezha: No, not really. If I did, however, I'd be the world's biggest hypocrite.

SWK: What? How so?

Nezha went into the adjacent closet and pulled out a wheelchair, it was the active kind too, unlike the bulky ones you'd find in the hospital.

Nezha: I haven't told you this before, I probably should've by now but, I guess I share similar insecurities.

Nezha: I am disabled. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk about easily at times, while others I cannot.

Nezha: That is also why I have my fire wheels, sash, and staff. They are mobility devices. Albeit they are a bit atypical.

SWK: Cool!

Nezha: Really? You think they're cool?

SWK: Well, yeah! I think that type of stuff is pretty interesting. I get why you wouldn't exactly want to show it off though.

Nezha: Thank you. Perhaps if you are ever needing some help after a migraine or other health complication, you can use one of my many wheelchairs! I hardly use most of them anymore, it's nice to have backups. Just in case.

SWK: Thanks for the offer. Maybe I'll give one a spin after I feel a little bit better. I still feel like my head will explode if I sit up.

Nezha: Alright then. I'll park this one next to you so you can have an easy transition when you are ready.

SWK: Thanks again.

Nezha: You are quite welcome.

Part 6:

Masterpost

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 11

Had a few days off from watching anything while I attended the Up All Night asian drama convention. Ironically I talked a bit about this drama on a panel about time travel in dramas, even though I haven't actually finished it yet 😅

Anyway, now I'm ready to resume. I think I can more or less remember how the last episode ended...

What does renting an adult movie have to do with him kissing his girlfriend in public? Is that frowned upon in Korea?

Sunjae has just found out that Im Sol is from the future, and in that future he dies when he's barely into his 30s. All he is concerned about is that Im Sol's mother saw him kissing a girl on the street and might not like him now.

God, I have missed these idiots.

Sunjae doesn't know how he dies but what he does know is that there's no way it could possibly be Im Sol's fault

Oh shit I totally forgot Sunjae's dad currently thinks he's on a plane to the US. This is not going to go well when he finds out...

He is so gone for her. I love him.

Oh, yeah, he missed the audition for the band so he's no longer on the path to becoming an idol now. That means no expensive skincare products for free because looking good is your job

Oh my god all his stuff is on a plane to the US even if he isn't

Hehe! Well, at least the reveal was mostly comedic

Wait, I thought she didn't want him to become an idol to keep him safe

Oh no are we going to end up with another totally different version of the future where Sunjae isn't an idol and her brother and bestie don't end up married.

And now a bag full of condoms intended as a joke wedding gift has ended up in Sunjae's bag by mistake. I'm glad we've eased up on the angst for a bit to do some more lighthearted nonsense

Oh my god he bought them matching phone charms. He is such a loser (affectionate)

I know something terrible is going to happen soon. They're all happy and in love and there's still another 5 episodes to go. I'm glad they get this for a little bit at least.

I am getting so much secondhand embarassment from this whole scene, but also I can't stop laughing. IT'S RAINING CONDOMS 🤣

I am crying I'm laughing so hard. Two star-crossed lovers torn apart by a shower of condoms

He just went into his mind palace to figure out how the condoms got into his bag. This might be my favourite episode so far, as much as I'm enjoying all the time travel and the angst.

I love that grandma is heading up this whole intervention

Well, after that delightful little subplot we are now back to the serial killer who may or may not end up killing Sunjae

Did his dad really get him to go and update Im Sol on the case and tell her that she's in danger. THAT IS LITERALLY THE JOB OF THE POLICE NOT THE FASHION HOUSE SON OF A DETECTIVE. The cops in this really do suck even by k-drama standards.

He is honestly the most sensible character in this whole drama

Uh...you haven't even tried though? The first time he got you it's because you went outside to stop Sunjae getting rained on in the park. Take Sunjae and find a cabin in the woods or something. Or go to America with him.

Okay, dude, you need to dial that back a bit

Taesung is like 'we spent the night together we're bros now'

Aww now they're both drunk and pouring their hearts out to each other

Well if they were buddies after Taesung slept on Sunjae's couch I don't know what snuggling in the same bed like this makes them

Ooh is Sunjae going to sing at their last gig and get back on the idol path?

Ooh they caught him! Except there's still another 5 episodes to go so clearly it's not over yet

Aww there we go he's back on stage

Oh sweetie...

Yep, there we go. Of course he escaped.

But, hey, we got through a whole episode without the sad Jongho song playing even once.

[sillyguy99]

* don't look now, but i lost my shoe.

(Undertale Sans x Reader)

Chapter One: * what's with these homies, dissin' my girl?

[Index | Next]

Notice:

(This story is nearly 5 years old, and though it doesn't show my best work, I decided to post it, just because I stopped it at chapter 18, when there were only 2 more chapters left to finish it. So... I'm gonna give it another shot – making minor edits to make the plot less dramatic and angsty, lol.)

(***Also, since Tumblr has a more limited format: italic texts are from you, the reader, and bold texts are from others.)

• • • • •

You've changed.

The best thing your boss did was to give you that warning.

You shouldn't keep working for the law if you're just gonna be a traitor.

How am I a traitor?

You work 9 to 5, sometimes 8 to 6, for the benefit of monsters.

Now, all of a sudden, our sex life goes down the drain.

I haven't slept with you since you got that promotion, and that was two whole months ago.

I'm supposed to be your husband, but you've left me in the dry.

I'm tired.

And I refuse to sleep with someone who won't support me in my new job.

Or should I remind you said I wasn't a real detective?

That my degree's 'worth shit', simply because of the field I'm working in these days?

               The rest is an ongoing, fruitless conversation you can't bother yourself with.

               Through reading those texts for what has to be the twentieth time today, you sigh, hiccup, and close your eyes tight, lifting your face slightly to avoid letting tears fall. 

               Barely two hours are left until he comes home to drop off your child, and the mere thought that you have to sleep with him five hours after that makes your stomach twist and churn. You don't want to imagine him naked: panting, heavy, and on top of you again, doing whatever he pleases with little regards to your own limits. Nausea takes over – violent, making you open your eyes and suppress a gag.

               You really, really don't want anything to do with him anymore.

               Yet, he insists you should remain married until your child reaches their eighteenth birthday.

               “At least wait until they're grown up,” he said. “Cuz what's six more years? Be honest with me.” Then, he chuckled. “As ugly as you frown when you see me, I doubt you hate me that much.”

               That had been a year ago.

               Would you really have to wait five more years until your freedom?

               The thought sends chills down your spine.

               While he was a good father, that adjective didn't really fit next to husband. 

               At the beginning of your marriage, yes – he was the best spouse you could ask for.

               Now?

               You'd rather eat drywall than have to spend a single second near him – without your child around, of course.

               With your newest agreement, it felt more as if your husband were a client, his payment being not making your life hell, and your service what he claimed was something a wife should be willing to give twenty-four seven.

               You shake your head and search for a distraction amongst the people surrounding the bar, aware you can only end up worse if you continue to dwell on the subject. The air presses down on you hot and heavy, a feeling that only increases the more time you stay seated without doing anything for your growing aches. Your sole companion is your mind when you realize you're too overcome with emotions to talk to someone without scaring them off. Chatter drowns out coherent thinking and sensory overload begins to show by how difficult breathing becomes. Seeking an escape route, you hold the bartender back with a raised hand and an 'excuse me'. Then, you ask him for some bottled water – the only kind he could touch willingly. Small embers flutter around the air as he turns around, leaving you alone with burning cheeks and a pounding headache. 

               Groaning, you pinch the bridge of your nose and blink through your blurry vision. Then, you adjust your glasses – despite knowing the excess shots have pretty much screwed you over already. The hour marked on your phone surfaces a sigh. How fast time seems to be going makes you notice you currently only have around an hour left before your husband arrives with your child. They would be staying with you while he went off to work, and the least you wanted was to look washed up for his arrival.

               "need somethin' else, pal?"

               You jolt at the new voice, deep and hearty.

               Reluctantly, you cast your gaze up to see a skeleton monster standing behind the counter, now glossy with polish. His face is tough to make out with the blurriness, yet you can tell he's looking at you. From the way he stands behind the counter and the stuffy look his suit gives off with its pristine and exaggerated formality, you figure he's a new employee. His newbie appearance doesn't erase the warm and welcoming aura most bartenders appear to carry by default, however. Instead, it makes his smile and words more genuine in his approach.

               It takes you a while to respond aside from shaking your head – mind hazy and disoriented. You thank him and sweep the water bottle off the counter, then turn the lid open, breathe in deep, and take a series of long, greedy gulps. Finally, you set it back down, more than half of it already gone.

               One more screw up, and you were out of your job at the law department for good.

               It doesn't help that you're currently hanging out at a place strictly and utterly forbidden by your boss: a hole-in-the-wall bar and grill establishment open to all, kept family-friendly during the day and becoming more daring during the night. It has been long since you ever drank alcohol of any sort, and it's beginning to show. You can hardly sit without tumbling pitifully to the side.

               “hey.”

               You're snapped back toward reality through the feeling of someone resting their arms over the counter, facing you and waiting for your return. 

               You frown and look up from the water bottle to see the same skeleton – his previous stuffy appearance appearing more natural now that he's taken off his tie and left two of the shirt's buttons unfastened.

               "i’m no expert on humans, but you look like you could use someone to talk to."

               You feel hazy again.

               And whether due to the drinks or the heat, you're not too certain of.

               But – right now – you're positive about one thing. 

               “U- Um…”

               As you wipe a tear off your cheek and burst out half a sob and half a laugh, you realize you really could use someone to talk to.

               “Thank you.”

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Tenun no Shou Stellaworth Booklet “Her Long Day” Part 6

Still haven't figured out what I should do next.... I sorta wanna go translate the Shimabara Disturbance drama, but the tl I found has some parts that are missing text, and I just don't wanna go look up what I ned to fill in those gaps...

whatever. maybe i won't do that. good night. 😂 i'm too tired to think right now. waking up before 6 am really messes me up unless i'm travelling.

Hakuoki Shinkai Tenun no Shou Stellaworth Booklet “Her Long Day” Part 6

Translation by KumoriYami

Chǒushí · Kazama Moment 《1~3 o'clock》

It was 3 o'clock, the time when all plants slept, and when the gates of the underworld [I guess?] were open.

If things were as usual, I would have fallen asleep long ago…

Unfortunately, today I woke up, perhaps from hearing the sound of insects.

"……Huh……？"

As I huddled under my blanket, I heard something outside… a minute sound.

The chirping of insects was wrapped in the sound of the wind and the sound of footsteps on gravel.

...Was that the sound of a cat or dog walking by…?

I lifted up my groggy head head, and opened the door a finger-wide crack, and looked outside——

"——I didn't think you'd be awake at this time."

"……Eh？"

"Could it be those watch dogs are forcing you to work day and night?"

"……!"

My weary mind immediately cleared up, and my eyes widened.

Standing there was the one who had repeatedly crossed swords with the Shinsengumi and declared that he was going to take me away—.

"Kazama-san——"

"——Be quiet."

"Wah!?"

Just as the yell was about to leave my throat, my mouth was covered, and I could only desperately twist my body.

But Kazama-san's arm was like it was made of stone, and I couldn't pull away at all.

"It's useless, although female oni have powerful/strong vitality, their strength cannot be compared to that of a male oni."

"Uh——"

"……Listen, just stay quiet. As long as you promise not to yell, I will let you go."

I did my best to nod, and to my surprise, Kazama-san really did let me go."

"Why are you come here at this time? Could it be that you wanted to take advantage of how everyone's asleep..."

"That's ridiculous. Do you think that I'm the sort of vulgar man who would attack a woman at night?"

“……”

What happened just now, I did really feel that this was similar to being attacked…. I always felt there was a sense of incredulity with this, so I asked again.

"….Then why did you come here? It doesn't seem like you've answered my question yet..."

"……This flower/These flowers."

Kazama-san hesitated for a moment and handed me a flower.

"This is… a sunflower/These are... sunflowers…?"

"That's right. Early this morning, beautiful sunflowers bloomed in the garden of a house in the Satsuma Domain, and since I thought it'd be a waste if only I admired them. Thinking that, I involuntarily thought of your face. You are surrounded by a group of insensitive men all day long, and have no opportunities to see such beautiful flowers."

"Um......"

If Kazama-san's words were true, he really came just to send me this flower/these flowers…

"…….Even if you say that, with you suddenly coming here, I can't believe it…"

"Why suddenly? Is there something strange about a husband who treasures his wife giving her flowers?"

"——Wife?"

"Of course, you are my wife."

…………As expected, I couldn't communicate with this person. Kazama-san slowly extend his hand towards me, who was at a complete loss for words.

"Of course, if you want me to take you away right now, isn't that another matter?"

"I don't....!"

I trembled and hurriedly took a step back.

Kazama-san's hand abruptly stopped.

".......?"

"Hmph… Who would have thought that there would be a watchdog awake at this time."

Kazama-san sighed, turned around, and then disappeared into the darkness.

"——Let's meet again someday in the future. Next time, it will have to be in a place where no one will disturb us."

Yinshi · Sannan Moment 《3~5 o'clock》

——At that moment, a voice came from the depths of headquarters.

"——Apparently an uninvited guest came?"

"Ah…… Sannan-san……!!"

"——Oya. To go as far as to intrude at this time, how truly careless."

Sannan-san looked in the direction Kazama-san disappeared in and lowered the hand he had on his sword.

At the same time, I collapsed to the ground, as if the ties around had me had been unraveled.

"……Fu……"

"It's alright, Yukimura-kun. Did you get injured?"

"Nn. I'm okay. Thank you……"

I sat paralyzed on the ground and looked up at Sannan-san,, and noticed tha tmy hands were shaking.

Although he was joking about that bitter experience, it really could have been quite dangerous.

——If Sannan-san hadn't come, what would have happened?"

While I trembled as I imagined that, Sannan-san, he——

"……Forgive me/I apologise."

He took hold of my hand, and slowly pulled me so I could stand up, then he wrapped both of his hands around my hands.

"——As expect you're terrified, your hands are still shaking now."

"……Yes. As soon as I thought that I was saved, all the fear came bursting forth……"

"I'm sorry. If I was able to notice a bit sooner, you wouldn't have been so scared."

"N-No, it's not Sannan-san's fault! You saved me…"

"……Hehe. Yes. At least the worse was avoided."

Sannan-san urged me to sit down, and the two of us sat by side in the corridor.

Even though my body was still shaking now, he smiled.

"It's alright, I'll sit with you here and accompany you until you calm down."

"……"

"Apparently, I'm meddling——"

"No….. if Sannan-san doesn't mind…. please."

Perhaps my words went against his expectations, so Sannan-san's eyes wiedened, and he was speechless.

".......Are your words sincere?"

"Nn... is that no good....."

".......You aren't afraid of me even though I've become a rasetsu?"

Sannan-san gazed into my eyes, and I laughed/smiled.

"......I think that genuinely scary people wouldn't say that sort of thing. Although it's true that Sannan-san hasbecome a rasetsu……."

"……But?"

"But, I think that your heart is the same as it was before."

Actually, until just now, Sannan-san had been saying consoling words to me,…. .

"......Oya. After hearing such adorable words, I can't do anything bad now."

Sannan-san stroked my head, as if to say that he had surrendered.

"Then… until you can peacefully fall asleep…"

Afterwards, Chizuru's moment

—Then, after that—

Sannan-san stayed and chatted with me until the sky faintly became green.

I completely calmed down and returned to my room as well.

"Today… I should say yesterday, a lot of things happened from morning until night……."

I got under the blankets again, and what happened all day long began to gradually resurfaced in my mind again.

"Waking up early, seeing Souma-kun, cooking together with Heisuke-kun…… going on patrol……"

If I fall asleep now, I didn't know if I'll be able to sleep before daybreak.

"......In the middle of the night, Kazama-san came over for some reason…. then… Ah, Hijikata-san…. I don't know if he'w awake after that…"

Incredibly, as soon as I was covered with the blanket, I immediately felt drowsy. Tired to the point where I couldn't resist.

"……"

With my narrowing field of vision, between the gaps of dreams of reality, I mumbled to myself.

"……Tomorrow too…… I'll work hard……"

Until I was woken up again shortly after by the sound of birds, a new day was about to start again. I finally slept peacefully again so I could get a moment's rest——.

----end----

[skeletonthecreator]

Ok so i just saw a post about narcolepsy for you and i have a little question. I have no idea how to check when something was posted on tumblr (mobile) so sorry if that post was super long ago!

Anyways, I always push going to the doctor about anything away for as long as i can, especially with specialists. You know how it is, doctors suck, I don't wanna bother if they're just gonna ignore me and tell me to excercize.

But! I recently found out more about narcolepsy, and that it's more than just "randomly falls asleep" disorder, and i realosed that i relate a lot to the symptoms. I've found a really good way to leqrn about a disorder is to talk to people who have it because again, doctors suck and sometimes have no idea what they're talking about.

So today i woke up not feeling rested at all. I felt like a very vivid and stressful dream had been going on all night and I'm pretty sure i woke up a few times (might've been a dream too tho). I went back to sleep for 10 minutes (i actually checked the time so this is correct) and had at least 2 dreams, because i kept half way waking up. When I'm actually asleep i feel kind of awake, but I can't actually do anything. This happens every once in a while.

After getting home from school I'm always pretty tired and need some time to calm down, but that seems pretty normal. What isn't is that i do my stuff as always and then (usually while watching videos) randomly become SO tired. It feels like it's 5 am and I haven't slept yet, except its 2-3 pm. Sometimes i try to push through, sometimes i just give in, but i almost always end up falling asleep anyways and then sleep until 7-9 pm. I usually struggle to get my body to actually get up and not just keep sleeping, and apparently once had a whole conversation without any recollection that i even got up. I can still sleep all night after.

I just thought this was "normal" ADHD/fatigue/generally disabled stuff, but now I'm thinking it might not be.

Well i guess this isn't really a question, but it'd be cool if you could maybe give some insight on this? Maybe if you know anyone with narcolepsy who experiences this kinda stuff or it happens to you? (Of course you don't have to share anything you don't want to) Or maybe you know something else this could be?

Yeah, that's pretty much it, i guess. If you need more details on anything i don't mind telling you and i hope you have a great day/night! (Sorry this is kind of really long)

hello!!! so what you described is actually really similar to how i experience sleep attacks. i also def have full conversations without any recollection when i apparently woke up, according to my roommate. i cant Diagnose anything for you, but what youve described sounds really similar to my experiences with narcolepsy as well as others ive talked to. sorry i like Just woke up so my brain is (more then)a little scattered but yeah. def are things that i experience 👍

[clarysageoilfacialmassage]

One of the ladies I've been talking to, I haven't seen in a week. Last time I saw her was the first time I met her, and she offered me somewhere to stay during the hurricane while my power was out. I slept on the couch, knowing myself well, and not wanting to get too deep too quickly because I really was enjoying our conversation leading up to meeting. She smoked me out, we got to know each other, we jelled really well. She's a crazy talkative person, and I did feel like I was getting to know her better than the other way around. It was cool, she was really excited. No big

The next day, when I left her house, I was a double so I'm getting off at 5 am, and although she did offer her place to me if I needed it at all until my power was back on, she has a kid and I wasn't gonna ride my bike 3 miles to show up to her spot so late. Disrespectful and not how I move. Getting off my double, I ran into another lady I'm somewhat involved with. She offered me to stay at her place so I did. It was convenient and just worked out the best that way.

The rest of the week I'm working, obviously, and our main way of communication is Messenger. She was verbal about being super independent and not needing people to be in her life to feel validated, so hearing that I'm thinking "She seems secure in herself and is understanding. My communication needs work overall, but she seems to get that I am busy with my three jobs so if my communication is lacking, it won't be a huge deal. She gets it."

I go out of town this weekend, living my life as normal, because we are not dating or even an item. Had such a wonderful time. Not worried about how I'm making her feel, because again, she came across much more chill than the freakout type, and we are not an item. I guess it needs to be disclosed, I am her first girl crush, as she put it. She has only been with men before.

So then I get back into town yesterday, I hop on Facebook for a minute just to scroll the timeline. I see something from her about feeling ugly or something. I don't interact, but had a feeling it was due to me not being in touch over the course of a week. I got off after that, and had seen she sent me 8 messages. Did not open those. It is taxing and takes a lot of energy to talk to her for me.

Tonight after work, I hop on the timeline, hit her page and she's made a post about not kink shaming but that ignoring someone for a week is crazy. Knowing she is talking about me. And that honestly just turned me off. Not every single thing that crosses your mind, or is your business, has to be blasted on social. I also already knew that was how she moved before we started talking, so that is my blunder for thinking our business would be treated any differently.

But am I crazy? Like I've been living my life, dealing with the hurricane and working to save for my NZ move in two months. And she knows I am a busy person, she made jokes about my 27 jobs. We never set another solid time to hang, and I never told her when I'd hit her back but that I would when I can (have the energy to keep up with her conversation, and be in a place where I don't have to wake up for my 7 am job, requiring me to sleep early, as our convos have gone late into the night). And here she is blasting me for not responding yet on account of living... Like this is not who you portrayed yourself to be to me. And all this you not feeling good enough has nothing to do with me, really. And it's not my problem to fix.

I can't help feeling bad, but I also know I'm feeling that way because I've struggled through my marriage putting their needs far before my own and setting boundaries for myself. Idk I guess I just needed to write this. Gay friends, do I suck?

[hankkd7]

[2021] Bentley's journal

~~ JAN 6, 2021. ~~

It has been more than 24 hours since the death of my mother...Tess told me that I should write down some of my thoughts in a text file of some kind, just for myself... I don't know how this will help me, considering I have never done this kind of thing before, but I trust Tess because she herself has tried it before.

More about her death...I woke up at 3:47 AM to a loud noise. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to sleep. Turns out that was the gun going off. Makes my stomach turn knowing I left her decomposing for some 8 hours...

I wasn't able to sleep that night, even with Tess just downstairs ready to comfort me whenever... I faintly remember a night terror I had...all I can remember of it is that my head hurt like hell afterwards. Tess told me I was shouting at something...so it must've felt all that real to me.

Yet, I don't know why I can't remember it... Call me crazy, but I only heard my mother whisper my name in the dead of night...I guess this is the start of the grieving process.

~~ JAN 11, 2021. ~~

We're having the funeral in Astoria, where she grew up. It's hard to guess why she'd move down to California instead of Astoria. I'm pretty sure she told me once that this house was once my paternal grandparents' house before they retired.

The hardest thing about yesterday was talking about the plans for the funeral with my uncle. It's the first time I've heard him cry...he just lost his sister just like that. I knew that they were very close.

Reading him the part in the note my mother wrote that was addressed to him was difficult too... it was just too fucking difficult to not break down into tears...My little cousins don't even know yet...

I still haven't slept yet...I feel so tired and weak...and I don't feel like eating at all... That mental image of that room is constantly flashing in my mind whenever it pleases itself to.

Is it all my fault...? Why didn't I see the warning signs...?

~~ JAN 12, 2021. ~~

I've been felling worthless with every hour after my last entry...just absolutely pathetic... I still...can't...fucking...sleep or make myself eat.

Or at least I couldn't...

Tess came over to check in on me and help me pack up for the trip up. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me... It look like she was worried, horrified...but also glad to see that I was okay...?

She said I looked so exhausted and hungry...she practically had to watch me eat a thing of yogurt before tucking me into bed while she gathered my things...Never have I felt so relaxed around her until now...

I ended up waking up from a 12 hour long rest to her watching a movie quietly. She also ended up surprising me with the news that she's coming up to Astoria with me for the funeral, and will be giving me a ride to and from. I remember feeling relieved that I wouldn't have to endure that nearly 5 hour long drive by myself.

Tess ordered us a pizza and we spent the rest of our evening talking...she managed to get me to laugh for the first time in three days...Over all; a really nice time bonding with each other... Since we haven't hung out in-person that much after the mass hysteria of the COVID pandemic...seeing each other and talking like nothing happened feels so comforting for me...

Not to mention she kissed my cheek while I was walking her out to her car. She had a blush unlike any other she's had.

The car ride tomorrow might be a little awkward for a tiny bit. But we both know that we're just a little more affectionate for each other than most friendships of the opposite sex...

~~ JAN 13, 2021. ~~

We've gotten a hotel room for ourselves after visiting with my family for a bit. I've been starting to feel like little things that wouldn't really bother me are now starting to piss me off.

I don't know if this is just a part of the grieving process, but I don't feel right. Like, I'm a new person after the event...

~~ JAN 23, 2021. ~~

I completely forgot about this log. I've just been so occupied...doing nothing... I emailed my professor, explaining my situation and that I would need some time off. And then after my trip...isolation. From everyone but Tess.

She's been checking in on me at least once every other day. Sometimes bringing me sandwiches from work for some decent food. I lie to her about my mental health though...I don't know why...I just feel like I'm gonna waste her time venting about everything that's bothering me.

I'm doing fucking terribly in actuality.

Is it normal to want to hurt yourself after this...?

~~ FEB 1, 2021. ~~

Yesterday, I cut myself for the first time. It felt scary...like I would die on accident... but then the urges became stronger each time I did it...

I hope I'm not obsessed with doing it...?

I've been wearing longer sleeves to hide this from Tess, I don't want her to worry about me. Neither should anyone else. Ever.

~~ FEB 16, 2021 ~~

Tess came over on Valentines day to give me some groceries she got for me. She gave me some candy, shyly of course. I keep forgetting how important she is to me. I'd literally die for her.

I think she'd break off our friendship if she ever found out what I'm doing behind closed doors...

~~ FEB 23, 2021 ~~

I think I'm going to far...I literally had to fucking do it while she was over, huh? Good thing I did it in the privacy of my own bathroom.

My cover almost got blown when she found some blood droplets on the floor. I ended up coming up with a "shaving accident".

I need to be more careful or else our friendship will be ruined.

~~ MAR 8, 2021 ~~

Yesterday was my 19th birthday, Tess took me to a nice dinner a couple miles out of town, it felt cozy in there with all this snow pounding down where we both live.

She tried her best to make it a really good birthday, and it payed off.

I don't think I cut myself at all that day...which is a first...

~~ MAR 20, 2021 ~~

I feel very bad for Tess...she's wasting her hard earned money on someone as hopeless as myself. Of course...she's stable enough to get me things but...why me of all people...?

~~ APR 9, 2021 ~~

This whole fucking thing was my fault. I can sense it. I didn't notice jack shit. I didn't realize she was suffering this badly.

I want to join her, but what will Tess think...she'll have no one to turn to when she needs someone.

~~ APR 18, 2021 ~~

I'm going to fucking snap. Just take my soul away, whatever is in control of my miserable life.

I've got no choice, if you're reading this, Tess, then I'm long gone from this hell we call life.

I'll stage it as an accident if I fucking have too.

~~ APR 22, 2021 ~~

I just came back from the hospital 7 hours ago. I was admitted on the 19th. I don't want to get into details. I'm not sure if I even can. I don't really remember what happened, but from what I've heard, I intentionally cut too deep.

Tess got worried when I didn't show up to work, so she rushed over to my place. There I was, bleeding on my bed, about to die. She held and comforted me until help arrived.

Jesus...what the fuck was I thinking? If I did end up pulling it off, she would've seen me; dead. Just like how I found my mother. Dead in her bed, the gun still in her hand.

And then what? Would she get depressed too? Would she spiral out just like how I did? I'm so fucking stupid.

Tess now knows that I had a self-harming issue. I now realize that I somehow convinced myself that she'd hate me for doing that. But she doesn't. Of course she doesn't.

She made me promise to not do it ever again, or at least not as often as I used to. The urge is still there, begging for release. Every time I look at that knife though...I can't help but think: "This thing nearly killed me."

It hurts so much, but I have to stay strong for Tess.

I'm ending these fucking journals, it makes me sick reading past entries.

[nathank77]

8/20/24

8:59 a.m

My insomnia was a bitch last night. I had to double up for the first time in 2 days. I'm willing to tonight after putting in much effort but the following day I'm SOL I won't raise my tolerance. It'll come down to weed tomorrow worse case.

I fell asleep by 1 a.m... it's really getting to me.

Let's go over my potential subclinical hyperthyroidism symptoms:

1) Insomnia....

I dont think there are others...

-muscles twitching: seems directly related to metopolol and have seemed to slow down and almost stop since stopping the meds.

-pooping: has went back to 2-3× a day. The 5 times that one day was directly linked to having over 39 grams of fiber in one day.

- Sweating/Heat intolerance: Not suffering from those.

-Heart Rate: Seems to be within normal range.

- Frequent Urination: I mean I drink a lot of fluids. It can easily be the explanation. Before bed I drink a cup of tea with my cigarettes.

-weight loss: my caloric in-take is low. I would be losing weight like a mother fucker if I was hyper.

-Anxiety: well I mean insomnia triggers me so much it's always extreme.. and okay so my thyroid nodules gave me anxiety randomly last night. Maybe we can say my anxiety is worse..... but idk it could also be that I care about myself and my sister had thyroid cancer and I didn't want to process that my thyroid grew another nodule despite it being smaller. And of course, my thyroid is of major interest to me atm bc of being sub clinically hyper..

- Appetite: I've had a slight increase in appetite but it seems normal. Every 4-6 hours. When I was hyper I was hungry every 2 hours... now I just feel hungry when I think a normal human body should.

Okay moving forward from that:

- is xanax losing its effectiveness? I don't think so but it crosses my mind.. yet some nights it works fine.

- or is my anxiety bad right now and it's keeping me from falling asleep quickly..

- is it the game I play before bedtime. It's fun it's call ice age adventure. Elise if you're here idk if your kids are too old to enjoy it but I think it's super fun and cute and they may love it. Nonetheless it's bright. And I play right before solitaire. It could be effecting it.

circadian rhythm: is it being effected by multiple nights of falling asleep later due to insomnia despite all the efforts I make to keep it so I can fall asleep by 11:30 p.m..

- then I think a wild thought what if my body is like if we don't sleep he will give us more? I mean it seems stupid cause it knows damn well that sure 2 days in a row I will but day 3 you're fucked. I'll make you pull an all nighter. I'm keeping my circadian rhythm I'll throw myself in the attic at 2 a.m if you won't sleep.

Gaming isn't a factor I haven't been gaming all my youtube videos are a week or 2 old being posted on a schedule.

Yesterday I had one red bull at 8 a.m. I had my v8 energy drinks too but stopped them at 2 p.m....

I mean I have had more tv time. But I mean of course I have. I'm running through my list of things to do and 90% of it at this rate costs me money I don't have so I can only do so much.

- bo4 hardcore barebones starts today. I have therapy and a physical. And I'm doing laundry so I can't really enjoy it today but starting tomorrow I'm going to be all in, I set up my week so I can enjoy it for as many days as possible. Although I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

- I am worried about money. Idk.

I suppose if I struggle tonight and tomorrow I'm going to do Methimazole everyday bc at that point I can't find another cause but it seems weird that it could be related to subclinical hyperthyroidism when I slept when I was hyper.

I don't think xanax is losing its effectiveness

I actually think my circadian rhythm has been thrown off too many nights in a row and maybe my tv is still a little too loud. If I turn it down anymore- the voice is going to be all i hear....

Maybe I can try being scared on YouTube on my tv with a sleep timer. His voice is low. And now my mental pictures are all sorts of normal and weird and I have control of them.

But yea I'm feeling hopeless. I'd rather follow my Dr original advice...but at some point as I take out the potential other causes it might be the only factor.

I think trying a lower TV show might be helpful. American dad has a lot of singing and screaming. It could be disrupting my ability to fall asleep or stay asleep. Technically I could be falling asleep quickly and waking up minutes later bc of a loud sound....

Or maybe it's just my circadian rhythm being thrown off. IDFK but I'm weighting every potential cause.

[messofmoss]

saturday, june 22, 2024

8:31am

i just slept for 11 hours. i got home from work and basically just passed out. my phone is half dead. my whole body hurts. i had a whole handprint on my arm when i woke up lol

there were many times my mind was racing yesterday and i wanted to write here but i was working and couldn't. i feel like writing it down helps a bit because instead of rattling around in my brain, it's pouring out here. like a bit of release and relief.

my head hurts. it hurt a lot yesterday too. i forgot to take my pills. i haven't missed a day in awhile. i was missing a refill and i was going to take them when i got the missing part but forgot about it.

i feel shitty. i don't want to go to work today. or do anything really. slept 11 hours and i just want to go back to sleep. sleep 11 more hours. i hate work. i don't want to go. i don't want to be around humans. i just want to be in my dark cave with my cats and my kindle and my pillow. i didn't even get to enjoy my days off because it was too hot to exist.

i feel like crying right now. i don't want to go so bad. i can't just call out every weekend though. ugh

10:19am

i sent her a minute of voice messages and all she says back is "okayyy" an hour later. really nothing to say at all??? why do i even bother

5:15pm

teary in the car again. i think julia is mad at me for calling her a hater. i was only teasing.

as SOON as she opened my last voice message, she started typing and said she was going to bed. she hadn't even listened to half of it yet. that voice was my attempt to change the subject. i said "i'm going to try to befriend the new girl at work tonight" the one i had told her might be a lesbian. idk i'm just so sad.

lilly told me to back off her and see if she reaches out to me first. i feel like she won't because last night i fell asleep and forgot to send her good morning message and when i woke up, she had read my last message and just... didn't say anything to me.

8:40pm

i can't enjoy my free time because i made a plan and that plan isn't until monday morning but like it takes away future planned free time before work and now i'll have to be out doing something and now i am just in a perpetual state of anxiety waiting for that thing. and it's like when you have a dentist appt at like 2pm so you can't enjoy your morning because you're just waiting for the appointment. i hate transition periods. i used to tell brogan to not tell me if he had to leave in like 10 or 20 minutes or whatever because then i wouldn't be able to enjoy that time anymore because it would feel like we are in a transition phase and it just makes me stupid anxious. the plan for monday is to go to clifton park at 8am to pick up thomas from the mechanic and hang with him til i have to work. i just hate making plans in general. i hate weekends because i have to work. i hate feeling trapped. work schedule makes me feel trapped. making plans makes me feel trapped.

also i have acid reflux/heartburn whatever for the first time in aaaaages and i hate it so much. i think it's because i've had pan pizza two days in a row at work. i need to get back to my diet. i feel like shit. i look like shit. i am shit. i look at my reflection and i don't even recognize my face anymore. like who the fuck is that? why do i look like that?

[kkcheesecake]

I live in Israel, I was in the south when it all started. I woke up at 6:30 in the morning from sirens. my bf and I went to the shelter, along with his family, two younger siblings ages 6 and 4.

from 6:30 to 12:00 we were constantly bombed.

we have never seen anything like this before. we were used to the rockets but not to this extreme. obviously we turned on the news.

we saw the footage of hamas terrorists entering Israel. at first we laughed it off thinking they were bold. we did not know the massacre that had happened in one of the bases near the border at this time- no one did.

then we saw them infiltrating cities, riding around towns and shooting at houses, cars, infiltrating homes. one of our friends who lives in Sderot, one of the cities that were attacked, was holed up in her shelter with her dog for hours.

then came footage of the party. 260 bodies. massacred, raped. gunned down. a girl from my old squad from the army was killed there.

footage of children, mothers, fathers, soldiers, elderly, and even non israeli/jewish people were taken hostage and killed.

meanwhile, we hear another article, of two young Israelis who were shot by an Egyptian police officer in Egypt. one of them was the brother of one of my friends and former soldier of mine.

the videos keep releasing, the evidence of their crimes that they keep filming and sharing with pride and glee. disgusting.

My bf has now been called back to the army, along with dear friends of mine. I have lost sleep over the horrors we have endured and witnessed over the past 4 days. Hamas's existence could have been wiped if it weren't for bad political choices of Israel.

I have lived here all my life, I have served in the army and I have seen the Palestinian people's struggles. but it is not at the hands of an army that defends its citizens, but the oppressive terrorist regimes that use the money they get from US to build tunnels, buy rockets, and most importantly, build the mansions in Qatar for all the big shots in Gaza/Palestine.

WE supply them with fuel when they needed it

WE let them entry into our borders so they can get work where in their territories there are none

WE give them money for construction and utility

WE give them medical help when none can be given there

we do what we can to protect ourselves, and even then show mercy.

the idf informs innocent Palestinian civilians before bombing a building that rockets have been fired from. we capture terrorists who crave our blood and give them fucking water and medical attention- and eventually a cushy prison life.

it's called the Israeli Defense Force for a fucking reason.

what has happened in the last 4 days has traumatized a nation.

all of you who are in support of this barbarism... you lost your minds.

you all live such cushy lives somewhere in fuck off nowhere near here. claim to not be swayed by "pro Israeli propaganda" yet have been force fed pro Palestinian and pro terrorist propaganda for years.

the hamas fucking hide near schools, mosques, and hospitals, just so that they can scream bloody murder when we are forced to bomb their hideouts- WHEN THEY ARE THE ONES PUTTING THOSE CIVILLIANS IN DANGER BY ACTIVELY CHOOSING TO HIDE THERE!

Israel is under attack, and it has always been under attack- and like always we will defend ourselves from these rapists and murderers.

I haven't slept since it all started- I have nightmares, I worry constantly. I am so tired. and I'm tired of hearing people around the world find pride in our suffering. we don't deserve this.

a rocket fell 5 meters from my bf's house. I cry every time I think about what could have happened if it was just a bit closer.

I am rambling, but these are my thoughts.

עם ישראל חיי

Do not forget, any body of power supported by an oppressive regime is going to get positive news coverage from that regime no matter what.

The "News Reporters" from imperialist governments, describing how the Hamas "Terrorist Organization" attacked Israel, are propaganda signals doing everything in their power to create noise, to obfuscate the transparent slaughter and apartheid taking place in Gaza. Civilians are being murdered, and historical sites and residential buildings are being destroyed by the government of Israel. The brave Hamas fighters are combating unbelievable odds to secure their freedom from an occupying force backed by the largest empire in the world.

Allah ma'akum to those fighting and giving their lives to see Palestine freed.

[karmaphone]

.

[cixl-writes]

noceur — kim minji

SYPNOSIS — `` | minji is wide awake at 1 am, she was already prepared to hear paranormal things; not a talk between her girlfriend and her girlfriend's best friend, pham hanni.

PAIRING — `` | kim minji x 6thmember!fem reader

GENRE — `` | fluff.

kim minji couldn't sleep.

it had been an exhausting day, to say the least. tomorrow was the last promotion of OMG and yet, here she was; completely awake at 1:41 am.

she was actually supposed to be sleeping soundly but for some reason, there was something bothering her— she can't put her finger on it.

maybe she didn't unplugged a plug somewhere around the dorm? maybe hyein forgot to set an alarm? what if they get in to their last promotion late just before of her?

now, that would be awful. she's supposed to set a good image in front of the others, like what a good leader does—

her thoughts were interrupted by a hushed yelp, followed by familiar low suppressed laughter. "y–y/n, you look like an idiot right now. wait, let me snap a photo." pham hanni's voice was faint but minji could still hear it, making her furrow her eyebrows.

why are the l/n and the pham still awake as well?

"shut up, pham! and don't snap my photo!"

l/n y/n's [accent] was very prominent even if minji heard her voice faintly.

"stop calling me pham, i swear. i will not hold back in skinship with minji if you don't stop calling me that." the threat sounded, the kim can basically imagine the face her girlfriend currently has.

"do whatever you want? she'll go back to me anyway, i'm her girlfriend."

now, minji didn't expected to hear that.

tint of pink threatened to spread on her cheeks. "...sometimes, i wonder if you're really that l/n y/n who can't even say a simple 'i love you' to kim minji." the pham sounded tired and confused, like she can't believe what she had heard.

"shut up, pham. i'm just waiting for minji to get comfortable enough in our relationship for her to actually tell me that she loves me without being forced to or feeling the need to say it back just to be even."

their english conversation continued, fading into the distance until their voices became inaudible to the kim.

still, minji didn't mind— her mind was perfectly occupied by the last statement her girlfriend has said.

it was true; their relationship hasn't been made official not too long ago, the kim was still adjusting to the new change between them as this was her first ever relationship.

she was really grateful— y/n has always been patient with her throughout the entirety of their new relationship.

the l/n has always been patient, and it's been 5 months now.

minji didn't get to sleep that night.

y/n was startled.

seriously, she was! imagine just seeing your unofficial leader and girlfriend looking like she hadn't slept well right after you entered the kitchen.

she was startled at first, but concern took over right after. "you look dead, min. what's up?" kim minji averted her gaze from her mug of coffee and to the clueless girl that continously plagued her mind at 1 am, the cause of her lack of sleep.

"y/n, morning."

the l/n looked confused at first but nodded as a greeting, going in to make the group's breakfast.

"answer my question, min." y/n insisted easily, opening the refrigerator to get some ingredients. "you haven't gotten any sleep yesterday, haven't you?"

it was silent after her inquiry, confusing the girl even more. twisting her body enough to see her girlfriend, y/n looked at the kim who stared at her as if she was the only person in the world.

raising a curious eyebrow, she asked, giving her focus back to cooking. "what's up with you today?"

"nothing, y/n!"

"sure, minji."

y/n didn't believed her one bit.

especially now that minji clung to her like she was her lifeline as they entered their final stage.

pham hanni stared at the scene in mild disbelief, making eye contact with her equally confused bestfriend.

it wasn't like kim minji to suddenly become clingy right before a stage.

in fact, minji has been this clingy ever since their small talk happened earlier that day. hyein, haerin, and danielle all noticed it too but none of the members brought it up once.

their ship was very much sailing, why would they ruin the moment?

"seriously, what's up with you today, min?"

y/n questioned as the kim finally separated herself from her. the girl only smiled vaguely, "who knows?"

and then, minji was going up to the front to interact with the fans, leaving her very confused girlfriend.

hanni took over the other 04 liner's spot beside her bestfriend and spoke, "what the hell was that about? why is she so clingy to you, all of a sudden?"

y/n thought about it for a while before it clicked in her mind. a small gasp escaped her, making the vietnamese to look at her curiously. "did you find the answer?"

the l/n slowly turned to her small companion with a terrified expression. "i think she heard our 1 am conversation from earlier!"

the pham dropped her idol smile that was directed to the fans for a little while, bursting out laughing right after. "damn, girl. now, you're exposed without even meaning to."

"not funny, pham." y/n grumbled grumpily, smacking the shorter one's shoulder lightheadedly. "i knew i shouldn't have agreed to baking with you at 1 am." she added, making hanni to laugh even more.

"hey, it was worth it, wasn't it? the kids plus minji looked so happy when they found the cookies in the counter."

"it was, but i got exposed to my girlfriend without me even knowing, dumbass!" it was a relief that their mics weren't turned on for now. "now, what should i do..." hanni looked like she was hit by an idea, but before she could say it out loud, they were called to take their spots.

y/n begrudgingly went to her spot, waving at the fans with a small smile.

her spot just had to be next to her beloved girlfriend who looked at her with a smile. "hi, y/n."

"hi, min."

the kim held out her hand for the l/n to take, which she grumpily did— not missing the way the pham snickered as she glanced at the both of them. y/n was about to flip hanni off when the countdown in her earpiece, going into her idol persona for a few minutes.

minji smiled at how professional her girlfriend is, doing the same with a single thought in her mind.

i'll tell her this time.

kim minji is sure that she could finally tell how much she loves l/n y/n.

she was 100% sure.

[felinaone]

Prompts for writing:

1."You're hair is really soft after you wash it."

2."Ssh. Stop moving. I'm just braiding your hair."

3."I might have slept with your robe/cape when you were gone."

4."If you steal the blankets, i am going to put my Cold feet on you."

5."You're comfy."

6."You are my new pillow."

7."Don't be stubborn. Try it!"

8."Star-gazing was a good idea"

9."You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

10."I'll always be here for you."

11."I'll be here to protect you."

12."It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

13."It's not morning yet."

14."Shush and go back to bed."

15."I heard you talking in your sleep."

16."You told me that you were okay! You promised!"

17."Why didn't you tell me?!"

18."How long have you been covering this!?"

19."What happened!?"

20."[Name], this is serious!"

21."Cut the crap and tell me what happened."

22."You've been trying to deal with this yourself?"

23."You idiot/di'kutla!"

24."Why did you lie to me?"

25."If you didn't want to be a burden, you should have gotten it treated right!"

26."You are not fine!"

27."You didn't think it was that bad? Are you looking at it?!"

28."It's obvious you like them."

29."Crushing hard, huh?"

30."You cleaned my room/ship for me while I slept?"

31."Wait, did you just call me cute?"

32."I care about you, maybe more than I should."

33." No one's ever done that to me before."

34."Could you play with my hair?"

35."I can't believe the last time i did this with someone."

36."That feels nice."

37."I haven't been hugged in years."

38."I need to remember what hugs feel like."

39."Do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer?"

40."Do you not have better things to be doing?"

41."Spill."

42."Get your butt over here before I drag here myself."

43."That's normal, right?"

44."How many of these things have you eaten?

45."Do not touch that."

46."You have got to be kidding me."

47."You didn't."

48."By the maker, please don't tell them."

49."I'm just tired."

50."How much longer will this last."

51."You I'd the best you could."

52."I'd rather die."

53."Why do you hate me?"

54."Your hair is so soft.."

55.It's too cold! come back!"

56."C'mere, you can sit in my lap until I'm done working."

57."I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."

58."Shh, you're safe. I won't let you go"

59."What? Does that feel good?"

60."I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

61."I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, i promise."

62."You hurt me and I still trusted you."

63."Don't say anything else, just stay."

64."Why can't you see that?"

65."I miss you/ i miss (them,him,her)"