#Dojima makes me emotional

[psychedeliclulu]

Me being absolutely normal while I brainstorm my fic with my trusted ally ⭐

[todayisafridaynight]

I bring it up because I just wanted to know no I can be proud of Daigo too!!!

i think it's ok to be proud of daigo dojima for getting this far with The Nastiest deck of cards he was dealt :) good for him :)

[melonsodypop]

H-hi! I hope It's ok if my first request is not a smutty one? Yakuza men and what makes them feel loved? Thank you in advance!

yakuza men and the things that make them feel loved !

❀ pairing -  kazuma kiryu, goro majima, taiga saejima, shun akiyama, y0!akira nishikiyama, daigo dojima, ryuji goda/reader (all seperate)

❀ tags - fluff, angst, gender neutral reader, probably sloppy character analysis, these men all really need therapy, love languages, alcohol/smoking mentions

❀ a/n - of course non-smut requests are welcome!! stares at my college degree on the wall that focused almost entirely on how people's experiences, relationships and environments affect them and their inner wounds/ways they want to be loved... i am so ready to break these down hehehehe (also i learned how to use gradient text are u guys proud of me)

kazuma kiryu ❀ spending time with him

deceptively simple, kiryu feels the most loved when you decide to just exist near him

oftentimes he feels like he's undeserving of company or that his mere presence is a danger to his loved ones, so frankly your insistence on being close to him is going to freak him out at first

he might even start avoiding you in the early stages of a relationship - don't take it personally, it's just that he loves you so much that he's anxious about hurting you

the more and more you stick by him, the more he realizes that he doesn't have to do everything on his own

in fact, he likes not doing everything on his own, a wave of relief every time he remembers that he has someone he trusts and admires deeply at his side

it slowly heals that deep emotional wound he carries that for someone to love him means for them to be hurt

the reason i hesitate to use the word 'quality time' with him is that he doesn't even really need you to be doing something with him

just being in the same room as him, focusing on whatever you both are working on separately

he's never been one to be comfortable expressing himself in words, the silence between the two of you like a warm blanket instead of awkward

i could get into my hc that he's autistic so it's a form of parallel play to him, but i digress

if you look over at him, you'll see that there's a rare soft smile on his lips

wordlessly will walk over to you and pull you flush to his side gently, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead

"i like when you're here," he'll grumble softly to you - which in kiryu-isms, really means 'please stay by my side like this forever'

goro majima ❀ letting him vent/talk about his feelings

oh boy i have so many thoughts about majima and how hard of a time he has accepting love

he's a master at self-sabotage - he doesn't know how to process feelings of love or affection, nor does he really feel that a piece of shit like him deserves it (see: how often he tells others that they'd be better off without him)

so he often chooses to bury his feelings instead of doing something about it

it was much the same when it came to you - he loves you so much, painfully so, but there was always that annoying voice in his head that told him that that you had better things to do than spend time on a mongrel like him

he'll keep his conversations surface-level with you at first, but ask him how he feels about everything and validate what he says

it'll catch him off-guard at first, and he might even try to put up a front and say he doesn't like talking about that sappy shit

but he'll eventually start giving in, going on long rants about all the crap he had to deal with that day or his 'tragic fuckin' backstory' while you listen intently

the more you wrench his ribcage open and force him to expose his real heart to you, the more he starts falling helplessly for you

not only are you letting him acknowledge and let out the emotions he keeps bottled up close to his chest, but you're seeing every ugly, rotten part of him and you still love him

now, that doesn't mean don't hold him accountable when he's kinda being a dick

praising everything he does will just make him feel like you're putting him on a pedestal or seeing some idealized version of himself you made up in your head

which will give his brain an excuse to run out on you before he eventually disappoints you

so don't let him run - from his feelings, from accountability, from you

the mad dog doesn't like to be collared, but for the person who looks past every facade he puts up and lets him just be goro majima - he'll happily put himself on a leash if it's you who's holding it

taiga saejima ❀ giving him physical affection

for most of his life, saejima was treated like a dangerous beast due to his size and that perpetual scowl on his face

it only got worse after the ueno seiwa hit - shackled like a circus tiger as he was dragged from jail to jail, never able to escape whispers of 'the man who slayed eighteen' and 'the stone-cold hitman' that make him sound more like an urban legend monster than a man

saejima has his own pride in his strength, and for the longest time he just accepted that he was the untouchable, scary beast that everyone made him out to be

it's not until you come into his life and start to subjecting him to little casual touches of affection that he realizes how touch-starved he is

grab his hand, cuddle him, catch him off-guard with kisses to his weary face - it makes his chest tighten in a way he doesn't understand just yet

he feels silly that such small, soft things are affecting him this much at first, but every casual little touch you give him makes him feel less like the boogeyman and more like a person

the fact that you trust him enough and feel safe enough to him to attach yourself to him... he feels like he could cry

it takes a while for him to start returning your touches, but when he does he suddenly turns into the biggest teddy bear

every time he holds your cute little face or holds you protectively against his chest at night, he's taught that his hands can do more than just inflicting pain

he'll never, ever admit it out loud but he loves it the most when you hug him, your arms barely able to wrap around his thick torso but trying your best regardless

he can't help but chuckle as he feels your body meld against his, patting your head and wrapping his arm protectively around your shoulders

he knows people would gawk if they saw how cuddly he gets with you, but he can't really bring himself to care

he's not a monster, a beast, stone-cold, or a killer when he's in your arms - just a big, soft tiger

shun akiyama ❀ taking care of his physical needs

akiyama SUCKS at taking care of himself, often relying on other people (i.e. hana-chan's scoldings) to remind him to eat or get his work done

it's not like he's completely helpless, he insists - he at least keeps himself clean and well-groomed

but being homeless for as long as he was, he eventually just forgot how to attend to his needs

even now, with all the money in the world, he's still unlearning how he had to just suppress his hunger pangs when food was an uncertainty and sleeping on a regular schedule when shelter wasn't always guaranteed

his body does it unconsciously now, often attending to his paperwork for hours on end without even noticing that he's hungry or tired

he feels embarrassed when you start slipping him bentos here and there when he's so wrapped up in his work, often giving you an apologetic smile and profuse thank you's

but the fact that you cared enough to notice, and cared even more to go out and get him something to eat makes him remember why he fell for you in the first place

he might protest weakly when you pull him away from his work when you notice his eyes are getting sunken and his body's lagging behind

or roll his eyes with a smirk when you snatch a cigarette from between his lips and smush it in the nearby ashtray, reminding him that he was whining about needing to quit smoking just yesterday

but he's truly, genuinely thankful that you're forcing him to take care of himself, the fact that you're invested enough in his wellbeing to scold him

he'll be damned though if he becomes one of those boyfriends that treats you like his mother, though - he may call himself a bum, but he's not THAT much of a bum

expect to be taken care of in equal measure, akiyama insisting to pay for your meals and run your errands for you to show with his actions, not just his words, how cared for you make him feel

akira nishikiyama ❀ praising him

yeahhh i couldn't not talk about nishiki's inferiority complex and how damaged his self-esteem is

his cool-guy bravado very thinly covers up a mountain of insecurities

he doesn't really feel like he does much of anything right, too pathetic to be a scary yakuza and too cowardly to stand up for himself or what he believes in

so anytime you genuinely praise him and tell him he did a good job with something, the high he gets from it is strong enough that he could probably quit nicotine, he thinks

he preens when you compliment how stylish he looks or how well he styled his hair - he takes a LOT of pride in his appearance, probably one of the few things he doesn't really have insecurities about

he can't help but grin ear to ear when you cheer for him at karaoke, or clap and whoop when he gets a strike at the bowling alley

he admires you so, so much, and that verbal affirmation that you think just as highly of him soothes that little boy inside that never thinks he's good enough for anything or anybody

every time you compliment him, he gets so giddy that he'll grab you by the waist and start pressing kisses all over your face

"i did that for you, baby," he'll claim proudly, his eyes shining with affection

the first time he cried in front of you, he was shocked that you didn't call him a crybaby or told him to man up

you just held him gently and wiped away his tears, whispering that he did the best he could and that you were so proud of him

he absolutely crumbles when he hears that, hugging you close and crying even harder :(

it kills him (in a good way) that even when you see him at his most vulnerable, you don't think he's pathetic or weak, just someone who needs the reassurance and comfort he's been deprived of his whole life

i'm not saying you'll fix him, necessarily - but perhaps the entirety of 1 could have been avoided if someone just told him he was doing a good job

daigo dojima ❀ letting him be weak

from the moment daigo was born a dojima, he was expected to be as strong, proud, and cold as the rest of his family

even when he left the tojo clan after the ryuji incident to not have to carry that expectation anymore, he still had a gang of people who started to follow him and put them on a pedestal as their leader

and now, as the sixth chairman, he has even less opportunities to let his guard down, not with thirty thousand people looking to him as an example and his enemies lurking at all times

daigo's resolve is strong, having long since accepted his lot in life as a leader - but he can't deny that he just gets so exhausted sometimes

so when he can come home to you, who doesn't expect him to be the sixth chairman, a dojima, or hell, even a yakuza, just daigo, is when he feels the most loved

sometimes just lays his head on your lap when it's just the two of you on the couch in the living, the feeling of your fingers threading gently through his jet-black hair and just being able to relax making the stress in his muscles melt away almost instantly

his greatest peace is when you both lay down to sleep at night, holding him in your arms and whispering to him about how hard he works and to get all the rest he needs

he hums softly and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, not saying anything back as he revels in the feeling of your fingernails scraping against his scalp as your digits comb through the tresses of his hair

there's no expectations, no danger, nobody expecting him to make a decision on the spot or suppress his personal feelings for the good of many

just his darling lover who sees him for who he is, feelings and weaknesses and all, and still loves him

he knows that there's a long list of things he has to do tomorrow and put on a strong face again, but for now he lets himself cuddle in your grasp, letting your words and gentle touches soothe him to sleep

ryuji goda ❀ when he gets to show off for you

a very... simple method of affection for a very straightforward man

he's just got some somewhat dated ideas about what it means to be a man in a relationship, and a lot of them revolve around flexing how strong and skilled he is to you

nothing makes him more satisfied than seeing your eyes shine with awe when he helps you move an insanely heavy piece of furniture or when he shows you just how much whiskey he can knock back in one go

it's less of the showing off itself that makes him feel loved - he's confident in his strength and his skills so he needs no reassurance in that department

but your cutely surprised reactions and the fact that you're so openly proud to call him your boyfriend that you'd let him strut his stuff out in public to show the world how cool and strong he is... yeah, that's what makes him happy

he gets so determined to show off for you that he sometimes gets in way over his head about things he usually wouldn't give a shit about

for example, when he tried to get you the cute stuffed animal that you wanted from the ufo catcher

ryuji scoffed and told you to step aside, confident that he would get it first try

until he didn't. and didn't on the second, third, fourth, fifth tries-

he let out a string of colorful curses as he watched the claw uselessly pinch at the round little sparrow, his jaw tensed in concentration as he shoved another coin into the machine's slot

ignores your reassurances that he really didn't need to do this for you, retrying until he eventually gets the damn thing to drop in the hole

he feels stupid until he hands the round bun-chan toy to you, your eyes wide and a smile on your lips

as soon as you hug him with a squealed thank you, he laughs, patting your head and telling you that it wasn't a huge deal

ryuji's not one to usually lie, but your praise and admiration is, unsurprisingly, the BIGGEST deal to him

as he wraps his arms around your waist to walk the streets of sotenbori, showing off both you on his arm and the little plushie he won you, he knows he would move both heaven and earth if it meant it would make you proud to call him your lover

[jujumin-translates]

★ A3! New Characters "KICS" Details

Someone already TL'd these on Twitter but I figured I'd do my own TL over here for the Tumblr crowd!

These characters will appear in ACT4!, which is being released starting in spring 2024.

Towa Ichinoe (CV: Daigo Kato)

An extremely puppy-like boy who loves all of MANKAI.

Occupation: 1st Year at Hanasaki Academy

A huge ultrahigh-intensity fan of MANKAI Company and and oshi of Spring Troupe's Masumi. He attended middle school in the countryside, but convinced his parents to let him move to Tokyo. He also lives with his aunt and works part-time for her at a flower shop on Veludo Way. He loves rice.

"Hey, hey, hey, could we take a pic together, please!?"

Ibuki Dozono (CV: Shuichiro Umeda)

A high-energy genderless youth.

Occupation: 2nd Year at Tsukushi High School

They like to stand out and have become quiet famous! They started posting videos online that went viral due to their enthusiastic personality and they've become a bit of a celebrity. They're a happy-go-lucky person who lives their life by the mindset of "Life's a win if you enjoy it the way you want to!" They like potatoes.

"Huh~, so there's some people who don't know of THE Ibuki~?"

Keiku Karashina (CV: Hayato Dojima)

A violent boy who's emotionally-lacking.

Occupation: 2nd Year at Ouka High School

A boy who has nothing in his life to be passionate about so he spends his days fighting instead. He's insensitive to both his own emotions and to the emotions of others. His favorite food is shortcake with strawberries on top.

"'It hurts' is easy to understand... ain't it?"

Kureha Nishiki (CV: Yuri Ise)

A narcissistic boy who's 120% confident in himself.

Occupation: 3rd Year at Ouka High School

A super confident guy who thinks he be good at anything at all. He's an idiot who can't make up his mind during critical moments, but he's loved by everyone around him at school because of his natural cheerfulness. He's addicted to tea and works part-time at a cafe. He likes Western-style sweets.

"Just leave it to me and everything will be okay!"

[yyxandere]

Yandere headcanons for daigo dojima please?

・✶ ｡ﾟ𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘

[♡]ー ꒱・！CHARACTER！:: DAIGO DOJIMA.

✧.* gender/pronouns ─ “You” pronouns

✩.* note ─ I took some writing liberty and made a scenario for this! I’m sorry if this isn’t what you expected anon( ´△｀) im really really sorry!!

✩.* TRIGGER WARNINGS ─ Unhealthy Relationship, Unhealthy Mindset, OOC, Not Proofread and SPOILERS FOR KIWAMI 2

• Ah, yes our beloved bastard Daigo Dojima. If we are talking about Yakuza Kiwami 2, Daigo then he will be a different person, he would be Cold and Neglectful to his darling or otherwise— you.

• After he got his pride crushed by Ryuji, Daigo turned into more of an asshole than before, he wouldn’t physically hurt you but he will throw cold remarks towards you, in that phase he doesn't really care about you even if you guys are in a relationship, he would bring many girls into his apartment and you can't break up with because of his verbal and emotional abuse. He's just overall a prick of a boyfriend and even if you manage to break up with him, he will act un reasonable until you come back to him. But when you come back to him he will treat you again like one of his side hoes, nothing really changed.

• He's overall abusive, but when the alcohol hits, when he becomes a weeping puppy on you, muttering 'sorry' and 'forgive me' a true mix of manipulativeness and self-pity is in there. You are never sure what he is going to say or do next, it could mean a lot of things, so you have decided that he was just like this from the start. The fact that he is a jerk who will always blame himself for anything is not new. You desperately want to leave Daigo but in the state he is in, you can’t leave him in the cold floor with booze around him.

• But now if our glorious king Kiryu finally met him and beat some sense into him, then we will see some changes. After being the chairman he will improve himself because of his duty, at first he might even forget you (you guys may have broken up) and just focus on his responsibilities as a chairman. But little by little, minor things reminded him of you. When he became chairman a lot of his “friends” either stuck to his side for his reputation or left him because of his position yet, by any means he couldn’t get rid of your face, how you always drag his ass back to bed when he is flat out drunk, how you wipe away puke from his chin. He decided to search for you until he met you again in a cafe as a coincidence.

• Do you know what kind of cafe? It was the one where you used to wait for him when he was in his late teens, it was the pure irony that hit Daigo like a truck, Daigo that time never wanted to call Kiryu and give him another ass whopping but this time send him to the ER. Daigo was sweaty and clammy when he approached you, and when you did notice him he jolted out in fear, and that small action completely crushed Daigo. Memories flooded of him being the worst boyfriend ever to you, him bringing random girls to his apartment then making out with them even when you were in front of him, he would only talk to you when he was drunk and vent all his insecurities on you but after showing you his vulnerability he would force himself to forget about everything then the cycle repeats. Yeah. . .those memories hit him, hard.

• When he had the courage to talk to you, he immediately apologize for his shitty behavior, and he knows that you won't be able to forgive me after all the stupid shit he has done even though he was speaking fast, you knew deep inside that he was genuine so you then said to him that you forgive him even though deep inside of you felt extreme bitterness towards him but who knows “maybe the two of you can be friends again”. That line made Daigo almost cry may it be because of the relief that flooded him or such.

• So day by day Daigo even with a tight schedule will manage to squeeze you in it, may it be drinking in that cafe, or you guys catching up while walking at the nearby park, etc. If he doesn't have time no matter how much he tries he will send you a whole bouquet with a written apology made by him personally.

• He likes hearing about your day, your voice soothes and eases him after a long day, of paperwork and casual Yakuza work, he even records you talking to him so if you are ever busy and can't call him, he will listen to those recordings to help him sleep properly.

• Now this is where we talk about the now mature and well-groomed Daigo, not the drunken boy of last year, oh no. He has improved and even though he acknowledges it, this Daigo now is Manipulative, Submissive, and Self-Aware. Daigo knows his place in the Yakuza, he has power and men beside him at any time, one snap of his finger and whatever he needs at his fingertips. He is one of the top dogs in the underworld business, he can't be weak or careless, and he can't let any weakness show to those around him, and if he does so his entire plan gets ruined. So whenever he is with he he just can't help but be comforted by you, and that is why he has many reasons why he LOATHES his past self, his younger self was a total douche that treated you like ass, and because of that younger him didn't notice how priceless you truly are, he genuinely wanna know how you manage to deal with him before, so since then he has been keeping things right, he is doing everything so you can redeem him.

• I can see Daigo and his obsessiveness growing because of the dangers of the Yakuza, and if he manages to feel vulnerable because of you then he will do anything to keep you safe, so slowly and surely he is becoming obsessed.

• He tries to do whatever you want in the first months of the friendship even giving space but the longer you both hang out together the more he will limit your decisions, which should have been a red flag but hey, he is trying to change right? And relationship or not Daigo will spoil you, even how many times you decline it, the new bag you were looking for? It's on your doorstep now.

• Daigo is intimidating. I mean whoever walks the streets of Kamurucho at least knows his face or has heard of him in some way, they know the power he holds, and if he even sees your way, you just have to hope that Daigo doesn't have any bad intentions.

• Daigo will also dig up information about you, he trusts Mine the most, and he knows that he can depend on Mine to dig for information about everything, may it be your family, your friends, or heck even the random stranger you talked to yesterday. Daigo knows which friends he should separate you from and ones that will not get his way to you, even though he will isolate you from all your close ones so you can only depend on him, he has already put his guard down with you and with you alone.

• If by good chance both, you and Daigo gave the relationship again (how did you not notice all the red flags.) then you must be prepared to live a life of isolation. Daigo knows how dangerous it is in the Yakuza world, you never know, maybe the coffee you were supposed to take is laced with coffee, or maybe his fellow enemies hired a hitman on you, so that's why Daigo only makes you live in a mansion far away and is filled with many trusted guards of his home, you can't even walk around the home so most of the time you're cooped up in his room.

• Try to escape him, you really can't but even if you do manage to escape then good luck, the Tojo clan already has many connections and we are not even talking about other clans that sided with the Tojo family, if you really want to escape him then you have to stay undercover REALLY HARD till you earn enough money to get out of the country, but you have to change your name, medical records and heck many even your face.

• But if Daigo manages to catch you, then prepare for many weeks of depravation from any human interaction, Daigo will visit you to bring you your food even though how much you scream and cry at him he has enough patience to handle it all and once you have learned your lesson then expect Daigo even be more strict on you.

• Daigo would definitely spoil you, fancy dinners, nice clothes and many more just don’t look at him with those eyes as if he is the worst thing in the world! He can change, just say whatever you want from him and he would do it! Just don’t ever leave him!!

• But if you manage to deal with his unhealthy obsession (how in the hell.) then you will know how pouty and soft he is in your arms, he will make you cup his face while he grumbles about the shitty thing that happened, if anyone looked at what was happening no one will believe that this is the man that is leading one of the top Yakuza's.

• Don't get me wrong Daigo very much knows that this is very wrong and every day he beats himself up because of it but how can he ever resist you when you bring such comfort to him in the gloomy moments of the night? How can he ever resist you when you look at him and smile and say "I love you" even though you could be lying? The power you hold over the top dog of the underground world is amazing, you are his biggest weak point and he will protect you no matter how many bullet holes he will put behind someone’s back for you are his sanctuary.

His office is as cold as his work. Bloody noses for some blood money, but at the moment he doesn’t care, he has a a special job to do.

The door opens as a police officer comes in, the man as a bit shorter than him. A thin, tall man. He’s not a bad looking guy by any means and is a good choice of clothes, his grin wide like the greedy man he is.

But for now let those thought go away—Daigo. He said as he fixed his hands on the table.

As the police officer sat down, Daigo snapped his thumbs as Mine grabbed two brief case, flew open at the police man in front of him.

“Will this be enough for compensation Mister Osuke-San? The deal of my bad planning during that time when. . .I told one of my man to shoot one of your police officers down.” Daigo’s voice stern and cold, something you will expect at a chairman.

“Mhh, Yes. This will be enough, I will not ask more or less.” a small hum echoed from Daigo as his co-worker closed the brief cases the so called Mr. Osuke stood up and was ready to leave only waiting to be handed his deal.

“And don’t worry, I will make sure that young police would never speak not even think about your ‘partner’. Especially when he forcefully tried to take them to his car because they were linked to you.” the man continued on but Daigo’s face was almost completely covered in anger trying to even remember that day

“My apologies, looks like I’ve blabbered too much~” Mr. Osuke said as he picked up his suit cases, “I will take my leave, but do remember,”

Osuke said as he turned around to look at the glaring chairman, Daigo now gripping at the armrest.

“-if you’re going to beat anyone try to do it in a more secluded and easy to clean place will ya? it’s really hard to clean up the blood afterwards plus the screams of the person could be heard by outsiders and we don’t want that, do we?~”

[unrav3l]

another majima rant letsgoooo

starting my yakuza journey with 0 made me hella confused with the age of the characters cause neither kiryu nor majima acted their age. i could suck up that kiryu is 20 but majima being barely 24 just didnt sit right with me at all. he had that vibe of someone experienced, just someone older. currently im ending the series and sweet jesus i adore the young majima with my whole heart. because he was SO young if you think about it!! and it shows!! and the difference between his character in 0 and in later games is so much more than just the mad dog act.

it might sound ridiculous since we all know the mental downgrade he gets from 0 to kiwami but hear me out when i say he gets so much more mature through the games starting from zero. i mean yes, sure this is the most composed and well behaved majima we ever see but its also probably the lowest point we ever see him at, at least thats how i see this. and it makes so much sense that when he finally breaks free just for one moment he acts so so intense in a much different way than what we see later in games.

because yes, the mad dog was an act at least partially but what we see him do, when we see him completely fuck up the dojima family is not an act. this is a young man shaking from emotions doing things that might have terrible consequences but he just doesnt care. and we never see it again as after all majima stays pretty darn calculated and logical in his actions. yakuza 0 is the only moment we see him genuinely loose himself to the reckless need of self expression for the sake of it. later in the games, for example the rooftop scene with kiryu, he actually lets himself be persuaded to rejoining the clan even tho that means going against his own ideals. hear me out when i say young majima would never do that.

and i could also talk how probably its as much being young as it is getting severly punished for standing up for himself and learning the tough way that staying authentic wont always get him what he truly desires

i love his character with my whole heart but the young still somewhat naive goro will forever have a special place in my heart

[crosswindtakeoff]

souyo will never not be good. like the whole town in visibly pining for u and u go for yosuke hanamura the one guy who is trying to hide it and doing the worst possible job

they r so loser4loser

also literally any getting together souyo drabble mayhaps?

LIKE LITERALLY imagine being the guy who basically saved Inaba and the world , you're a team leader because you make smart and level headed decisions.

And then you see Yosuke, this bumbling idiot who doesn't even know how to thunk before he speaks and you're like. Yeah yes. This one.

In terms of getting together... I think it's so so important that Yosuke confess first. His internalized homophobia is such a large hurdle he needs to get over bc he's like basically almost confessing the entire game ("Like you. You're really special to me." ??????) And then backing out immediately.

And Yu is both... patient but slightly intimidated by the way Yosuke approaches the idea of being gay,, he wants to give Yosuke the time to overcome his own feelings because he's not stupid. He can yell that Yosuke likes him or at the very least is struggling with accepting the fact that he's queer.

But I mean. There's also that part of him that is scared of rejection. He's still just a teen and he can't bare the sting of having Yosuke say no to his face, especially if it's going to be coupled with some statement about how he's "not gay" in a slightly upset? Disgusted? Offended? Tone. Yosuke is his partner who he trusts and cares for deeply and the idea of him being Disgusted or uncomfortable around him feels like the end of the world.

Basically Yu is anxious and emotionally constipated and Yosuke *needs* to overcome his struggles before this can work so I think a huge part of really overcoming it is him confessing first

NOW HOW THE CONFESSION GOES... You KNOW it's started by Yosuke doing something a little bit gayer than usual, followed by silence, and him yelling "BYE" and running away while he processes for a bit. Bonus points if its a build up of things over one week and it really makes him think.

For example: asks Yu to practice kissing for a future gf, says "love you!' When hanging up the phone one night, instinctively reaching for his hand to not get lost in a crowd, etc. It has Yosuke constantly on edge,, all those emotions he tried to stuff down are coming back full force, and now he can't even look at Yu without feeling warm in his chest.

And one night, on a whim of adrenaline an impulse, he runs all the way to the Dojima residence (bc he's dramatic. Too dramatic for over the phone.) And the moment he sees Yu opens the door he just blurts out "I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH YOU."

There's. A deafening moment of silence that's quickly followed by embarrassment as he realized he just yelled this over the Dojima's having dinner. Oops.

Anyways, Yu would ask him to come in and they'd talk upstairs about. Well about everything,, they talk about Yosuke, how scared he was to admit to this part of himself... why he felt that way but realizing he needs to stop caring ehst others think because it hurts him to hide it... and because he loves Yu and knows Yu would never judge him. Yu talking about his internal worries as well, worried that Yosuke would avoid hum like the plague or be annoyed with him for liking him.

And then... they just kinda lay down together and slowly recount all the moments they've had together. The first time they entered the TV world, riding scooters together, Yosuke pulling him out of the Mitsuo hallucination, how angry and protective Yosuke had gotten not just over him, but especially Dojima and Nanako at the hospital, saving the world... everything.

And reiterates "You're really special to me, partner..."

LETS GO GAY PEOPLE

[beezonia]

let me explain some stuff for the fae in btcsm

——

Four courts - Four seasons - One ruler who oversees the changing of the seasons

The four courts have representatives that oversee their courts work and feedback to the king

These four and the king make up the council of fae

So these are

Maruki - King

Mitsuru - Winter

Yukiko - Spring

Dojima - Autumn

Eri - Summer

———

So pretty much all fae are born into a court

Winter fae - More coordinated then most, good with tactics. Tend to be a bit emotionally constipated

Spring Fae - Soft hearted, green thumbs these fae are more tuned to the world around them

Summer Fae - Boisterous, free spirited these fae know how to celebrate

Autumn Fae - observer’s, more in tune to emotions and pain they stay close together without even meaning to

———

That’s about it!

[personaconcept]

Have you figured out anything new for this project

Also do you have an Explanation for why the arcanas fit the Characters

My goal while I was in a writing rut was to work on getting images of the Personas, following that some of the minor characters like Yuuki, Haruka, and Natsuki. However, financially I've not been doing well the last couple of years, so I haven't had the opportunity.

As for why I have each of the characters as the arcana they are, the team at least I based off the video I drew inspiration from. (Though that video has since been taken down, I've been told) I think I can explain some of them without the video's influence but by my own design. (I'm sorry if any of this comes out confusing, the longer I work at my current job, the worse my ability to talk or write coherently gets). Your other ask only asked about the party, so I'll focus on them, but let me know if you're interested in the rest of the cast as well.

Avis: The Priestess

Avis was not a character mentioned in the video, she is a character of my own creation. I choose the High Priestess for her in part due to the name of the card. The Priestess implies a connection to the mystical, which Avis is, being a phoenix and the guide to The Endless Forest. She is quite literally the MC's spirit guide, much as a holy figure is for people in the real world.

Sayaka: The Heirophant

If you'll remember from previous postings, the only one of the Persona titles I've played is the fifth ("Still!?" the masses cry, but I have watches P4 the anime which I'm told is pretty faithful). Dojima and Sojiro are, by all accounts, father figures to the MC. Why, then, would I chose the Hierophant for Sayaka? Unlike characters of the Chariot arcana, Sayaka is not necessarily a guide. She's a follower. Truthfully, once I get my vision through, she's barely an inciting incident. Sayaka believes, though. Believes in mysticism and magic and spiritual. She's not the magician though, because her story is about her struggling with being who she is, outside of conformity, and seeing she is good enough. Sayaka is the epitome of "reversed hierophant."

Shinju: The Strength

Shinju is consistently underestimated because of her perceived weakness. Unlike the others, what ails her is visible. But in all matters, she's meant to be a mirror of the MC, especially Hikari. It's why they look so similar and why I used similar sounding voice claims for them. The MC has to be strong, the leader. But while they fail the vocal, emotional part, Shinju excels. "The party is only as strong as its weakest link," and Shinju is pretty damn strong.

Masahiko: The Hanged Man

I like making mirror characters, and Masahiko is meant to mirror Miyako. They're both hanging from a noose of their own creation, but Miyako was both neither scared to kick the chair over nor to take the noose off. Masahiko stays where he is.

Miyako: The Death

I recently just watched the show "His Dark Materials." The episode "Lyra and Her Death" feels like something Miyako could relate to. She has accepted it, and so can see her Death. It will come to her when it does, and she will not fight it, but she's not going to run towards it either.

Jun: The Devil

There's so many reasons I could put for Jun being the Devil card. He's not evil, he's just not great. He hides a nasty truth under a princely facade. That's the simplest I can make it without running on and on about him.

Yudai: The Tower

He's largely here because of the video, but... when I think about a tower, I think of something like a lighthouse. A tall figure that someone can look to to guide their way. When things start getting out of hand, it's Yudai that remains steadfast.

Hoshiko: The Star

I'm fairly certain that Hoshiko was not in the video whatsoever (this part I remember because I thought there were too many white haired characters in the party so I decided to change her), and that the character in place of her was a different arcana. In part, my desicion to make Hoshiko the star was a whole "wishing on a star" thing and Hoshiko's big dreams, but also influenced by how she feels unable to achieve those dreams. Another classic reversed case.

I hope those were satisfactory! As I said, let me know if you want me to go into the other characters more. I definitely need to brush up on this stuff more.

[yakuzacanons]

I'm loving your blog so much!!! I really enjoy your headcanons! ^w^ May I request a part 2 of the "how they would text you" headcanons? I'd love to see how Ryuji would text!

Yes, absolutely! Also, to the rest of my inbox, I go beddy soon (the movie double feature was like 6 hours and I am exhausted) but I will get to the other asks TOMORROW, pinky promise. Headcanons below da cut as per usual. Goog nite.

Ryuji Goda

Decent at texting but his reply times are terrible. He often just forgets to check his phone. Even if he sees the notification, he's the type of person to think "Oh I'll reply to them soon" and forget because he feels in his brain as if he did already reply by just thinking about it. Sends lots of pictures of clothes, jewelry, and the like and asks what your opinions are on them. He knows what emojis are but can never decipher what emotion they are actually trying to convey. Absolutely not up to date on texting slang and tends to type pretty formally.

Ryuji: I meant to text back earlier but I ended up forgetting because I was so busy, my apoliogies.

You: (¬､¬)

Ryuji: Does that image mean you are mad at me or that you are happy to hear from me?

You: What do YOU think?! ⸨◺_◿⸩

Ryuji: Ah, the former then. That one is particularly scary looking.

Nishikiyama Akira

Probably the fastest texter of all the characters and the quickest to reply. He's usually good at being up to date on more modern things, at least better than Kiryu is. Flirtatious texter and most likely to send "You up?" texts. Totally loves sending you selfies when he's really feeling himself. Also sends pictures of really good views he finds, like from a rooftop in Kamurocho with a great view of the city lights.

Nishiki: Hey, check out the view from this restaurant.

You: Oh wow, very pretty.

Nishiki: It would be even prettier if you were here (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

You: Nishiki!

Nishiki: Lol, sorry, couldn't help myself ★~(◡ω◡✿)

Daigo Dojima

Primarily uses his phone for work so he's pretty quick to check notifications or respond to messages. Prefers phone calls as he can hear your voice and it makes for a nice break from all the other mundane calls or important emails at work. Rarely if ever sends pictures via text and selfies make him camera shy but if you're very close to him, you could totally twist his arm into participating. Surprisingly has a decent grasp on emojis.

You: How're you doing?

Daigo: Tired. Long meeting. ╥﹏╥

You: I believe in you! I'll treat you to dinner afterwards so do your best.

Daigo: Ah, that's very kind, thank you. I look forward to it. ( ◡‿◡ *)

Mine Yoshitaka

The worst texter. He's super dry in his responses, never uses emojis, and is very good at forgetting to check his texts. He mostly uses his cell phone for work so when he isn't work, he has notifications silenced. However, if you're very important to him, he will enable the buzzer on his phone so you can get through to him. In contrast, he's the best at taking pictures of you using a cell phone. Never has his phone out during meals as he doesn't want to be rude. Would prefer to video chat the most as it's the next best thing to actually seeing you.

You: Mine, are you even actually reading my texts?

Mine: Sorry, I was working out.

You: It's okay, you can make it up to me by sending me a post-workout selfie. ٩(◕‿◕)۶

Mine: You think you're funny, huh? Fine, just because I like you.

[princedetectives]

nanako is one of the most well written characters in persona 4

⚠️ major spoilers for p4 up to its 7th dungeon in here (yes im talking to you kaylingo)

ive been thinking about nanako a lot over the past few days and, man, i feel like she doesn't get enough appreciation. she rivals akechi as my favorite persona character ever because of how precious she is, yes, but also because her writing is so perfect.

because, let's be honest, a lot of parts of this game aged poorly, especially in a modern lens. i could make a list. i have made a list actually which i give to my friends who start p4 to warn them (hi kaylingo!). you know, like the bathhouse scenes, the poor representation, the countless times the female characters are treated weirdly. the fat girl who only exists for fatphobic jokes. i could go on. nanako is not included in this.

in fact, nanako is one of the most compassionately written characters i've seen. she is just as important to the whole investigation team as she is to yu. she is never treated as a hassle to watch over. she's actively included in things they do. everyone is gentle with her (her very first social link where yosuke finds out her mom is dead and so softly apologizes, the little things like that). everyone loves nanako. that's so important, both for her and the story as a whole.

the justice arcana

nanako being the justice arcana is pretty baffling at first. the wiki says it's thanks to her deep care about right and wrong, but to me that's not as satisfying as:

nanako reflects everyone's sense of justice

this is clearest during Heaven: nanako's death is the reason the investigation team turns murderous, desperate to avenge her. nanako ends up in danger thanks to nametame's skewed messiah complex. nanako being in danger gives dojima the energy to launch a desperate attempt to finally catch the culprit and save her, wrecking and getting terribly injured in the process. importantly, nanako being in danger is what gets adachi panicked enough to slip up and reveal himself as the killer, thus allowing justice to finally catch up to him.

seeing her like this makes every character's actions much more fascinating. she doesn't deserve anything happening to her in the slightest. it's unfair and unjust. everyone knows this. what we see during Heaven is each character's attempts to save her, even nametame.

Heaven is my favorite dungeon in the game. in my book it even beats every palace in persona 5. everyone's love of nanako is stronger than ever in the most painful way. there's so much raw emotion and it's so well written the entire way through.

a few characters specifically stick out to me, like naoto, who chides themself for not figuring out nanako could be in danger sooner and being the person to initially suggest turning murderous against nametame.

teddie, who's so distraught over the injustice of nanako's death and his inability to keep the promise that gave him a place in the world that he loses all will to live. he can only live in the human world with her around, and she only comes back to consciousness upon hearing his voice.

and adachi, who, in an episode of the golden anime, is seen muttering to himself alone in the hospital pushing the blame of everything onto yu (episode 6, i told you, yu. the anime is usually really dinky but that episode is genuinely a masterpiece somehow.), which further proves his warped perception of justice. because he cares about her too. the anime proves that to him, yu took his place in the dojima family, and he's extremely bitter about it.

in conclusion

nanako's role as the collective little sister is so important. she helps everyone throughout their social links and brings out the sides of people that wouldn't be seen otherwise. before Heaven, each dungeon was fairly impersonal, saving people they hadn't met before, which drastically changes with her kidnapping.

nanako gives everyone the strength to solve the case. she's the light that guides them to the clues they've been looking for throughout the past 8 months. nanako is the justice arcana because, without her, the case goes unsolved, and it's all thanks to the love everyone has for her. she's the best depiction of anything like this i've ever seen.

[alyazahra00]

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 book review 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

☆Type of books: Manga

☆Book Title : Kono Oto Tomare! Sound Of Life

☆Author: Amyu

☆Genre: Music, A slice of life, Comedy, Drama

───────────────────────────────────── [].[].[].[].[].[].[].[]. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁[].[].[].[].[].[].[] ─────────────────────────────────────

This manga is about a sole koto club member who has to put together a crew of koto players to make sure the koto club does not get disbanded, starting with a delinquent and a musical genius. As time passes, other unique members enter the club for different reasons but in the end, they all have the same goal, to enter the koto nationals competition.

What I like most about this manga is the art style. The art was so beautiful that I could feel a lot of emotion while I read it, such as anger, happiness, and even sadness. The other reason for my linking to this manga has to be how the story was told and how each character felt like a real person rather than just a character from a book. For example, one of the teachers, Akira Dojima is introduced at first as someone who was ordered to ruin the koto club, but as the story progresses and as she gets to know the koto club members, she can't help but care about them and wants to help them achieve their goal.

This manga greatly impacted me when I first read it when I was 15 years old. The characters with the biggest impact on me are Kudou Chika and Sei Uzuki. Kudou Chika, the main character of this manga, is initially seen as harsh and has a strong personality, but as the story progresses, he is shown as someone who is kind at heart but bad at communication and has a tough past. Chika who was raised by a single father who was absent throughout his life was given love by his grandfather and was supported by his best friend in his early days, but it changed once his grandfather passed away, and he was blamed for his grandfather's death. Chika taught me that to grow I have to face my past properly and accept them, not so I have to suffer every day remembering them, but to learn from them and understand them. The next character is Sei Uzuki, who is one of the causes of Chika's suffering. He makes a lot of mistakes and even makes Chika suffer for a reason where he wants Chika to go back to his old self. He has a past where he has no one to depend on leaving him in a state where don't have emotion, tho his past can't make up for the mistake he made, I can't help but root for him to make a change. He teaches me that just because you make a mistake in the past, doesn't mean you have to keep being stuck in a loop and continue them, if you want, you can try to atone for them.

This manga is still ongoing as of right now. the update is once a month, so the reader's patience is really being tested. I rate this manga 10/10.

───────────────────────────────────── [].[].[].[].[].[].[].[]. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁[].[].[].[].[].[].[] ─────────────────────────────────────

[disaster-caster]

what are your feelings about the persona 4

THIS. THIS IS THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION REALLY. i love talking abt my interests dnbcjsjxnsksns

persona 4 is not my favourite persona game, but it’s not a bad persona game either. there’s parts of p4 that i really really love — hell, kanji is one of my favourite persona characters of all time, and that’s a pretty coveted spot considering akihiko sanada is up there as well.

there’s SO many parts of p4 that are done really well, but i find that lots of character arcs and moments lack the gut punch and emotional finisher if that makes sense. there’s definitely arcs and s. links that are the exception (nanako, dojima, kanji to an extent etc) that i think are the exception but that’s what they are — exceptions. the norm, imo, don’t always reach the emotional payoff i like in persona s. links.

the biggest elephant in the room for me is yosuke. i adore yosuke, and i like what he’s set out to be character-wise in the beginning. but in removing his romance they’ve turned his internalized homophobia (which he externalizes @ kanji) into just plain homophobia. and it’s vicious too, honestly i don’t even know why kanji stays friends with all of them with the way yosuke treats him. an internalized homophobia and overcoming your own insecurity (which is already a focus in yosuke’s link) would have added far more connection and empathy for him. instead he just seems like a dick, which SUCKS because he really is a genuinely sweet kid, yosuke has moments that i ADORE. but it gets undermined by his homophobia that is never meaningfully acknowledged.

despite all of that though, persona 4 is the first persona game i recommend to people. it has a fun narrative that is easy to understand and get into. small town murder mystery is so much fun & investigating for clues is one of my favourite parts of p4.

so i guess my answer is : it’s complicated! i love p4! but i also have my reservations about it. that is all!

[callmearcturus]

oh god where did i leave off. oh fuck i left off with THAT? oh geez sorry

in my defense, the music in the next area is great so i didn't want to leave and i'm almost to the boss i think? Reverie, Yukiko, and Kanji make a DEADLY team, and while I am Big Mad at Yosuke:

he starts every battle first and has tentafoo/Cause Panic. so. he's just maddeningly useful, idk what to say.

Huh I somehow thought the other character was next but it's Rise time!

Man. I like Rise a lot. Out of all the romance options she's the only one I'm considering at all because she's neat. Rise is an idol who is taking a break from the business to return home to Inaba and recuperate. And right from go, she is just on another level from everyone else.

She knows about the Midnight Channel (though doesn't understand it's a supernatural hit list yet) and is aware of the dangers around her. The Idol business in all its forms across the world fucking Sucks and it's clear to see it's had an effect on her, like emotional stretch marks from having to mature really fucking fast. She's been in her late 20s since she was 13 and it shows.

Oh and she's working in her family's tofu shop for the time being.

/googles ganmodoki

oh i would try this in a fucking heartbeat. Also, Yosuke, bro, what do you mean you don't eat tofu. Like... no tofu ever? I'm American and I eat tofu. It's good.

(I do genuinely want to eat more tofu but I cook for a whole household and they are less willing to let me experiment with tofu. Please pity me. 8C I heard if you squeeze out all the liquid or even freeze them first, they become really easy to fry? Anyway. Sorry, I cook a lot.)

Anyway aw shit Rise inadvertently reveals to Dojima that we're working this case. Worse, Dojima is not immediately angry or confrontational about it. OH NO, he purposefully avoids being confrontational about it.

Instead he puts Adachi on our tail.

Look at that man's face. Does this motherfucker have a single candle on behind those eyes.

Which leads to discovering a stalker who Adachi arrests as the murderer.

GODDAMMIT ADACHI. Whatever, it gets him out of our fucking hair.

buuuuut in that time, Rise got got. goddddddfuckingdammit.

An idol who's shadow self is on some level genuinely an exhibitionist. Whoo boy that's... a lot. Also, out of all the shadows, I find Rise's the most creepy, weirdly? Maybe because Idol Culture scares the shit out of me and I don't even remotely understand the appeal. It's like this terrifying black box of concepts I can't divine anything out of.

In TV World, I feel SUPER BAD for Teddie. I keep flying through these dungeons in one or two days and not really coming back to the TV World to see him. Which is a shame because I genuinely love Teddie! I think he's top three characters for me right now.

I was trained in the unhallowed halls of Tartarus, I know how to curbstomp a dungeon, okay? I wish I was around more for Teddie. 8C

YOSUKE HANAMURA WE ARE GONNA STEP OUTSIDE IF YOU MAKE TEDDIE SAD, DO YOU HEAR ME?

i just went from Big Mad to cackle in like a minute. CHIE OH MY GOD. "Aw buddy, you're sad? Yeah, you can hit on me, I'm cool with that!" i'm dying. it kind of says a lot about Chie's opinion of Teddie vs everyone else since she's the one who shoved the boys into the river at camp.

She has standards, is what I'm saying, and I respect them immensely.

say what

omg yes yes yes yes yes yes lemme see it what is it

STAR SOCIAL LINK: GET. THE STAR IS SO FUCKING GOOD FOR TEDDIE TOO! The Star comes after darkness has fallen and you are lost in the night with no sense of direction. It is the pinprick of light in the distance, the hope that gets your feet moving again after the despair has settled in. It is not a promise of warm or answers or completion, but it is sign that the story is not over, that you aren't over, and encourages you to follow to the next page.

TEDDIE IS GREAT FOR THE STAR, AAAAAAH!!!!!

[atanx]

I think this poll is missing the point. Firstly, things are not as simple as "x is a good person" and "y is a bad person". With all that Nishiki has done, he's definitely not a good person. But he's not necessarily a bad person either.

And people don't like other people or characters for their good- or badness either, that's not how it works.

Nishiki is a likeable person, as we see in Y0, being loyal and caring for his siblings deeply to the point of risking everything he's ever wanted (success and power) to defend Kiryu. He cares for his siblings and when the world keeps throwing rocks at him and he eventually snaps, it shines a sympathetic light on him.

Part of why Nishiki is my babygirl is 1) his character 2) the potential of what could have been.

Yes, Nishiki made his own decisions. He CHOSE to kill Matsushige, he CHOSE to kill all these other people and inflict suffering, but you can see why. To him, the end would justify the means, and while I don't agree with that philosphy, I still respect him.

Point is, Nishiki got dealt a bad hand, pushed to the point of attempting suicide, and then snapped and did a bunch of horrible stuff. Which, in an AU where he lives, I do think he should have to atone for.

But Nishiki is still a likeable character and his relationship with Kiryu only adds so that.

His suicide at the end of YK1 didn't redeem him. There was no need to him to detonate that bomb, he chose to because he wanted to die. Because now that he's failed at achieving his goal, he can no longer justify his actions.

I'd just like to reiterate that I don't like Nishiki because he's a good or bad person. I like Nishiki because he's Nishiki and because I sympathise with his struggles. His character arc was a string of tragedies that pushed him over the edge and no one ever stopped to give him a hand or to even ask if he's okay.

(We don't talk about YK1's ending, on this blog I pretend that the stupid love plotline doesn't exist.)

There are no good people. In the end, we're all selfish even when doing 'good' actions because we will feel like we're good people and that will make us content. Especially in a series centered around (organised) crime, I think it's ridiculous to expect anyone to be a good person or to demand that of them.

[korereapers]

Title: Don't go wasting your emotion

Fandom: Persona series/Persona 4 (the Golden?)

Pairing: Tohru Adachi/Dojima Ryotaro

Rating: Ex-fucking-plicit

Tags: SPOILERS, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon typical violence, manipulation...

It may not seem like it, but this is kind of a happy fic. God knows Adachi doesn't deserve it that much, but eh, I love fucked up characters and I am also a believer that people can actually be better. So. Yeah

AO3

Adachi has never been too fond of… well, intimacy.

It’s not that he had bad parents while growing up, like many therapists theorize. He gets calls from them from time to time, but he doesn't really answer or call back. What is there to say, anyways? They probably feel like they failed as parents, and Adachi is inclined to agree. He ruined his own life, his job. And that was even before he murdered two people. He would laugh if he even found it funny anymore.

What a pain…

So, yeah, it's not that he had an especially hard life growing up. A regular kid, a smart one, top of his class, not too good at socializing. Increasingly good at pretending to be, while never getting too close at anyone.

"You're zoning out."

Dojima's voice is music for his ears, and he feels his lips tugging upwards. It's not happy, but it's… pleasant. That's a step, he guesses.

"Ah… sorry. You know how it is. I get distracted sometimes."

Dojima raises his eyebrow, disbelief in his features. He knows by now. He knows him, after all this time.

It has been seven years. Seven long years in which Adachi found even a duller place than Inaba. Calmer, too, in a way. He didn’t have to pretend anymore back then, didn’t have to deal with almost anyone, and that was fine by him.

Jail was a blessing, in some ways. 

“I don’t think anyone could get distracted while someone’s sucking their cock.”

Adachi’s lips turn upwards, in a small smile that Dojima easily recognizes. He has seen enough of these while he was visiting him back in prison.

“Is that what your detective intuition is telling you? Didn’t work that well last time.”

It’s such an obvious taunt, and yet, Dojima has to swallow his anger, knowing pretty well that the feeling will become more gray hairs, and maybe some muscular pain. He has gotten better at dealing with it, and he knows what Adachi is doing.

He cannot allow it.

“I thought you were long done with this game.”

The words are murmured against Adachi’s erection, and he can feel him tremble in arousal. Still, his eyes are blank when he looks at him, almost lifeless. He is good at this, at pretending, at putting a wall between him and the whole world.

“Aw. But I’m never really done playing, Dojima-san.”

Dojima’s smile is bitter, almost a little sad. There is still some fire in his dark eyes, though. He has known this man for years now. He knows how he works. He knows what he doesn’t want Dojima to see, what he wants to hide from the world.

“I am, though.”

And before Adachi can utter a single word, his mouth goes back to him, a calloused hand encircling him gently but solidly. He tastes him with his tongue, his gut burning when he hears the sound Adachi makes, when he feels his cock twitch against his palm.

“That’s… that’s not fair.”

A part of him becomes childish when Dojima plays dirty. It’s a dynamic they both recognize. It might have filled Adachi with anger and resentment, back in the day, but it was safer. Known. A painful solace in a world going to hell.

“Are you going to do something about it?”

Adachi’s eyes are piercing. It’s a miracle he didn’t notice, back in the day. They drill into him, clever and calculating, a timebomb ticking behind them. Maybe he is that good of an actor. Maybe…

“I thought I understood you. And yet you keep surprising me. Again and again.”

Dojima looks up, facing him. He doesn’t stop licking him, keeping him interested, the touch so light Adachi can only pant in frustration. He used to do this to Dojima, back in the day. Never truly wanted him to reciprocate, for reasons that now he understands. He doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable, but Dojima has other plans.

“Is it that hard to understand? You’re dear to me.”

That’s when Adachi snaps, so suddenly that Dojima does get surprised. His tantrums come and go quickly, like a bored child, like an emotionally stunted one, incapable of dealing with his own emotions. Not that Dojima can say anything about the matter.

“I fucking killed two people. I could have killed more. I almost got Nanako dead, for God’s sake!”

That does sting. He feels tempted to punch him, right in the face, to break his nose, maybe split his lip. Make him bleed, make him pay.

“I made your life hell!”

That’s when Dojima stops. He stops, his body moving so quickly that Adachi does recoil, like in the old times, instinctively. That’s a man that doesn’t fear pain, and still…

Luckily for him, Dojima doesn’t hit him. His hands are on Adachi’s cheeks, keeping him close, breathing so angrily that he swears Adachi can taste it in the air.

“That’s it. That’s the Dojima I-”

But Dojima doesn’t allow him to continue. He stops his venom with his own lips, the kiss less and less angry, a thumb brushing against Adachi’s face, making his eyes show a hint of something. Something that’s not bitterness, or anger, or disgust. Something as true as any other part of him.

“You…” he murmurs against Dojima’s lips, and he swears that his voice is shaking. “You did it again… I severed this connection to you, and still…”

“You’re dear to me,” Dojima repeats, as if talking with an extremely difficult child. “You are dear to Nanako. You are family. I…”

Dojima has never been good at this shit. What is he going to say, anyway? That he loves him? That the feeling that burns inside of him, that threatens to make him explode, is the purest form of love? That he saw guilt in Adachi’s eyes, all of those years ago, even if it was only for a brief moment? Even if it was not for the victims and it was for him. And fuck it all, Dojima has always been a selfish prick. He would run to Hell itself only to be able to take his hand and save Adachi from his own misery. He already has.

“I don’t… I don’t understand. You keep coming back to me. You keep pulling me close… I…”

“I want you,” Dojima manages to say, a knot in his throat. “I want you, with me. Call me selfish, but I will never give up on you. Never.”

Adachi's grin trembles, a crack in his façade.

"That's not very smart, sir."

Dojima sighs against his lips, his hands cupping the back of Adachi's head, feeling his hair, strangely better kept after prison. Maybe he had finally started eating more. Maybe, for once, he could afford it.

"I don't give a shit."

The futon moves when Adachi shakes in place. Never too brave, not in front of the undeniable truth. He makes a sound when Dojima gets closer, and for a man so obsessed with lust, he can barely react to even the smallest amount of care.

"Why… why don't I just suck you off and-"

"Dammit, Adachi. Just let me do this."

The desire is clearly there, but there is also fear. Fear that Dojima sees him, the real him, under all of his layers. Finally, after all of these years.

"I know what you did. And you didn't do it for my nephew."

Adachi gulps, his eyes on Dojima's lips as he speaks.

"I know you were terrified for Nanako. I know you were worried about me."

"I never…"

"You cannot lie that well. I cannot deny all the bad. But I cannot deny the good either."

Adachi kisses him. If it's to silence him, or out of genuine feelings, Dojima doesn't know. Maybe a bit of both. He kisses him, and Dojima feels dizzy. They might be naked, but this is the first time Dojima feels that something truly intimate is happening.

"You do not want… what I can offer you."

"I do." Dojima answers, and damn, he is being honest. Yeah, he knows, he knows this is unreasonable and outright mad. But he wants it, he wants him, every nook and cranny, every dark bit, every lighter one.

"You can't save me," Adachi insists, his voice broken, "I am beyond that. I'm sure you've read the reports, and you have no idea of what I can-"

"Shut. The fuck. Up," he groans, and Adachi's eyes shine in something like recognition. Bad habits die hard. "I may not be able to save you. But I can at least try to be fucking supportive while you learn to save yourself."

Adachi blinks, and Dojima realizes, his eyes are a little wet. No matter the shit he has done, his actual age… he still behaves like an overgrown child, sometimes.

"I can destroy your life. I already did it once."

The insistence is almost endearing, but Dojima knows him better by now. He recognizes desperation when he sees it. And Adachi is currently reeking of it.

Dojima lowers his voice, speaking slowly, as if trying to make himself clear.

"First of all… no, you didn't. Second…" and he speaks with a small smile on his lips, "try."

Adachi seems surprised at his display of bravery. Cowards, both of them, unable to face their reality, their true feelings. Either always running away, or letting themselves sink with his darkest desires. Adachi's lips curl upwards, clearly amused.

"Didn't know you had it in you."

"I'm full of surprises."

But Adachi's smile turns less sinister, goofier. A middle ground between both sides of him. Dojima cannot have enough of it.

"Okay… okay."

"Good."

Acceptance is more than good enough. Adachi seems to surrender, and Dojima takes that as a cue to keep going.

Dojima's mouth doesn't go back to him. Not yet. He pumps him with his hand after spitting on the palm. Adachi's ears become redder, his arousal so obvious it makes Dojima's head spin.

That’s when he tries something, the words burning in his throat before he even dares to say them.

"You are loved. Whether you like it or not."

Adachi's eye twitches, the words making him clearly nervous. He wasn’t expecting that.

Good.

"Loved?"

"Deal with it."

A pause. And then-

"You? Love me?"

"Shut up. Don't make me repeat myself."

Adachi lets out a snort, and Dojima sees the headache coming yet again.

"Little old me? Aw…"

"If only you didn't hide behind that wall of yours, rookie…"

Adachi's smile turns sad.

"Not a rookie anymore…"

Dojima doesn't give a flying fuck. They may be older, more tired. Adachi may have been a deceiving piece of crap, but he is still that man, young and nervous, that entered his office one day after being transferred. The man who got his coffee right, only when it really mattered. The man who stayed when everything seemed lost. No murder can change that. Nothing can change his affection. Absolutely nothing.

"Still deserving of love."

Adachi says nothing, the gears behind his clever eyes working efficiently, but probably not enough. This doesn't really have a logical standpoint, after all. Nothing smart about it. Nothing Adachi can analyze from that cynical perspective of his.

"No need to overthink it. Just accept it as it is."

There is still some shadow of suspicion and disbelief in Adachi's dark eyes, but Dojima guesses that's more than good enough. Good things come for those who wait. And he might be getting older but… maybe even because of that, he can wait as long as needed.

"What about Chisato?"

The question is not meant to be cruel, and Dojima faces it as such. He sighs, his grip tighter on Adachi's cock, making him squirm.

"You sure make a handjob harder…"

Adachi laughs a second before Dojima realizes his own pun, and he groans deeply. Not deep enough to avoid the question, though.

"I will always love her. You know that."

Adachi grimaces, and Dojima swears he sees a glimpse of jealousy behind his eyes. But then, the feeling disappears from Adachi's eyes, almost expertly. Dojima cannot allow him to dodge the conversation.

"That doesn't mean that what I feel for you is any less important."

Adachi furrows his brow, finally sighing after a couple of seconds.

"Okay. I get it."

He looks convinced, even if still kind of annoyed. Dojima remembers how he stayed while he and Nanako were in the hospital, how he was genuinely worried about the little girl, how he almost didn't sleep to ensure Dojima was resting. He might be a piece of shit, but he cares about them. About Souji, too, even if he would rather die than to admit it.

Adachi fears the fragility of their link. That Dojima will sever it one day, like he did back in the day, either because of the memory of Chisato, or because he finally realizes he isn't worth it. Even if Dojima thinks he is. Even if this, having him under his body, naked and flushed, is everything he would have ever wanted. Even if he hasn't been happier in ages.

"Don't look at me like that," Adachi says, almost pouting. "You look like a romantic fool."

Dojima can only laugh at that.

"Aren't I, though?"

Adachi rolls his eyes at that, pulling him closer. He kisses him, mouth against mouth, breaths entwined. Until Dojima groans, taking him again into his hand.

"That's it…" Adachi mutters against his lips. There is a smile forming there, and no matter how dominant, Dojima finds himself liking it nevertheless. "I have been thinking about this for years."

That does make Dojima shudder, holding him closer.

"You have?"

Adachi lets out a small chuckle.

"Of course I have. In different ways… that I will show you in due time."

Dojima feels himself blushing like a teenager, burying his face into Adachi's shoulder. This time, the laugh is louder, and Dojima groans in frustration.

"And I haven't even told you how and when I want you to fuck me… oops."

His words go straight to Dojima's groin, making him moan, even if Adachi isn't really touching him. He got it bad… he really got it bad.

"Shut up…" Dojima complains, quickening the pace of his hand, effectively shutting Adachi's mouth. Or not, because that breathy giggle is nothing but annoying… and strangely endearing.

He licks a trail of sweat on Adachi's neck, and that and the constant attention to his cock seems to do wonders for a man that hasn't been touched in years.

"This is… kind of pathetic." Adachi mutters after a strangled moan.

"You're not," Dojima reminds him, out of habit. "We are still getting used to this."

He swears Adachi wants to say something, the words somewhere in his throat, but he doesn't. He just keeps him close while Dojima pumps him, and Dojima makes sure to watch him, every expression, every way his face and body contorts when Dojima does something particularly nice. Every sound. He puts it all in a small treasure chest in a corner of his mind, secret and yet accessible. This is the Adachi he wants to remember. This is whom he wants to keep from feeling lonely again.

Adachi moans his name, and Dojima has to try hard to relax and not to come, the soft spasms and ragged breaths making Adachi's orgasm even more beautiful. He has dreamed about this, he is sure. But nothing could ever come close to reality.

Adachi bends his head backwards, a tired laugh coming from his mouth. He seems to be amused, and genuinely… happy. Dojima kisses his temple, and Adachi complains wordlessly, more out of habit than anything. Still not used to genuine affection.

"You… you know I'm a piece of shit, aren't I?" Comes the question, with no real bitterness behind it. Just matter-of-factly. His expression so incredulous it would be funny, except it’s not. It's Dojima's time to roll his eyes.

"Yeah. But you're my piece of shit, and I still believe in you."

Adachi keeps him close, not trying to avoid his contact, which seems like an improvement.

"Figures… But. I still have so much in mind, Dojima-san…"

Dojima raises an eyebrow, feeling the itch of a well needed smoke in the back of his brain. He thinks about how Adachi will surely light his cigarette as soon as he manages to put it in his mouth, and the lingering memory makes him smile.

"About?"

Adachi's smile looks downright mischievous. The kind of mischief that could make a series of murders out of pure boredom… and also the kind that could make Dojima harder only by thinking what he has thought for him. What that clever tongue can do and say to him to make him lose his mind.

"Oh, but I'm not going to ruin the surprise, aren't I?"

Dojima gulps, nervous and eager. He really has it bad, doesn't he?

He feels the smile on the corner of his lips, a clever tongue and teeth that grind against his skin a little too hard. Downwards, slowly, but still impatiently.

Dojima sighs, his fingers playing with Adachi’s hair. It’s going to be a long, long night.