#Doctor Booking Software

[doccure-dreamguys]

Why Online Appointment Booking is a Must-Have for Modern Clinics

In today's fast-paced world, time is of the essence. People are looking for ways to make their lives more efficient and convenient, especially when it comes to healthcare. With the rise of technology, patients are no longer content with waiting on hold or standing in long lines to schedule an appointment with their healthcare provider. That's where online appointment booking comes in.

At Doccure, we understand the importance of modernizing the healthcare industry. That's why we offer an online appointment booking system that makes it easy for patients to schedule appointments with their healthcare providers. Our system is designed to streamline the process, making it more efficient for both patients and providers.

Benefits of Online Appointment Booking

Convenience: Patients can easily book an appointment at any time from anywhere, without the need to wait on hold or stand in long lines.

Time-saving: Providers can save time by eliminating the need for manual appointment scheduling and reducing administrative tasks.

Improved patient satisfaction: Online appointment booking can help to improve patient satisfaction by offering a more convenient and efficient way to schedule appointments.

Reduced no-shows: Automated appointment reminders can help to reduce no-shows by reminding patients of their scheduled appointment.

Features of Doccure Online Appointment Booking

24/7 appointment booking: Patients can easily schedule appointments online, 24/7.

Automated appointment reminders: Doccure sends automated reminders to patients to reduce no-shows and increase patient attendance.

Real-time availability: Patients can see real-time availability of their healthcare provider and select an appointment time that works best for them.

Multiple provider support: Our online appointment booking system supports multiple healthcare providers, making it easy to book appointments with various providers.

Customizable: Our system is customizable to fit the needs of each healthcare provider, with the ability to set up unique schedules and appointment types.

In conclusion, online appointment booking is a must-have for modern clinics looking to improve efficiency, convenience, and patient satisfaction. With Doccure's online appointment booking system, healthcare providers can streamline their appointment scheduling process and improve the overall patient experience.

[holy-shit-comics]

[saloni9036]

Save Time and Enhance Care with NiftyHMS Prescreening

Patient prescreening helps clinics save time and focus on care. By using NiftyHMS, patients can share their symptoms and medical history online before visiting the clinic, making appointments faster and more efficient.

Key Features:

Self-Service Portal: Patients describe symptoms online.

Medical History Capture: Collects patient records in advance.

Customizable Templates: Fits your clinic’s specific needs.

Save Time at the Clinic: Reduces waiting and paperwork for OPD visits.

NiftyHMS simplifies healthcare with easy-to-use tools for clinics and patients.

Read More:  https://niftyhms.com/blog/do-electronic-medical-records-improve-quality-of-care/

[logicspicesoftware]

Make Appointments Easy with Doctor Appointment Scheduling Software

Managing appointments doesn’t have to be stressful for doctors or patients. Doctor Appointment Scheduling Software makes it easy to book, manage, and track appointments in just a few clicks. Whether you’re a doctor, clinic, or hospital, this software by Logicspice helps you stay organized and on top of your schedule.

With Doctor Appointment Booking Software, you can:

Easily manage patient appointments without the hassle.

Send automatic reminders to patients, reducing no-shows.

Access your schedule anytime, anywhere with cloud support.

Customize the software to fit your practice’s needs.

Say goodbye to appointment mix-ups and hello to smoother, stress-free scheduling with Patient Appointment Scheduling Software. Try it today and make booking appointments easier for everyone!

[mycareind]

Exploring Features and Benefits of Hospital Management Software

In the fast-paced world of healthcare, efficiency, and precision are paramount. To keep up with the demands of modern medical facilities, Hospital Management Software (HMS) has emerged as a game-changer, streamlining operations and enhancing patient care. Let's delve into the transformative features and benefits that make HMS an indispensable tool for healthcare providers.

1. Seamless Integration: Hospital Management Software integrates various departments and functions seamlessly. From patient registration to billing, inventory management, and electronic health records (EHR), this comprehensive solution ensures a smooth flow of information across the entire healthcare ecosystem.

2. Enhanced Patient Care: One of the primary benefits of HMS is its ability to improve patient care. With electronic health records, physicians have instant access to a patient's medical history, allowing for quicker and more accurate diagnoses. This not only improves treatment outcomes but also facilitates timely interventions and preventive measures.

3. Efficient Appointment Scheduling: Gone are the days of manual appointment scheduling. HMS allows for the easy management of appointments, reducing wait times and ensuring that healthcare providers can optimize their schedules. This feature not only enhances the patient experience but also improves the overall efficiency of the healthcare facility.

4. Billing and Revenue Management: Hospital Management Software automates billing processes, reducing the margin for errors and ensuring accurate financial transactions. With integrated billing systems, healthcare providers can streamline revenue cycles, process insurance claims efficiently, and minimize delays in payments.

5. Inventory Control: Maintaining an efficient inventory is crucial in a healthcare setting. HMS helps manage and track inventory levels, ensuring that essential medical supplies and pharmaceuticals are always available. This prevents shortages, reduces wastage, and ultimately contributes to cost savings.

6. Data Security and Compliance: Patient data security is a top priority in healthcare. HMS employs robust security measures to safeguard sensitive information, ensuring compliance with healthcare regulations such as HIPAA. This instills confidence among patients and healthcare providers alike, fostering trust in the system.

7. Analytics and Reporting: HMS provides valuable insights through analytics and reporting tools. Administrators can track key performance indicators, analyze trends, and make data-driven decisions to improve hospital efficiency and patient outcomes.

8. Telemedicine Integration: In the era of digital transformation, HMS often includes features that facilitate telemedicine services. This allows healthcare providers to offer consultations remotely, expanding access to care and accommodating the evolving needs of patients.

ConclusionHospital Management Software is a revolutionary tool that empowers healthcare providers to deliver high-quality care in an increasingly complex and dynamic environment. By embracing the features and benefits of HMS, hospitals and medical facilities can optimize their operations, improve patient outcomes, and stay at the forefront of modern healthcare practices. MyCare India's Hospital Management Software into your healthcare ecosystem to experience a transformative journey towards operational excellence and unparalleled patient care. Stay ahead in the dynamic healthcare landscape with a solution designed to meet the evolving needs of modern medical facilities.

[techwarelab]

The Importance of Quick Doctor Appointments: Why You Shouldn't Wait

In a world where time is of the essence and schedules are often packed, waiting for a doctor's appointment might not seem like a big deal. Many people tend to put off seeking medical attention, assuming that their symptoms will resolve on their own or that their condition isn't severe enough to warrant immediate attention. However, the importance of quick doctor appointments cannot be overstated, and here's why you shouldn't wait.

Early Detection Saves Lives: Many medical conditions, including serious illnesses like cancer and heart disease, are more treatable when detected in their early stages. Quick access to a doctor means you can receive timely screenings and diagnostic tests that could make all the difference in your prognosis.

Preventing Complications: Some medical issues, if left untreated, can lead to complications that are not only more severe but also more expensive to treat. By seeking prompt medical attention, you can often prevent conditions from worsening and avoid unnecessary suffering.

Peace of Mind: Waiting for a doctor's appointment when you're unwell can be stressful. The uncertainty about your condition can cause anxiety and negatively affect your overall well-being. A quick appointment not only provides you with medical care but also peace of mind.

Preserving Quality of Life: Pain, discomfort, or reduced mobility can significantly impact your quality of life. Quick medical intervention can help alleviate symptoms, allowing you to continue your daily activities without disruption.

Timely Treatment Plans: When you see a doctor promptly, you can start treatment plans sooner, potentially shortening the duration of your illness or condition. Whether it's medication, physical therapy, or lifestyle changes, early intervention is key.

Avoiding Spread of Illness: If you have a contagious illness, swift medical attention can help prevent the spread of the disease to others, especially in the case of highly contagious illnesses like flu or COVID-19.

Efficient Healthcare System: By not waiting for minor ailments to become major health issues, you're also contributing to a more efficient healthcare system. It helps in reducing overcrowding in emergency rooms and ensures that people with urgent medical needs can receive immediate care.

Remember that your health is an invaluable asset, and taking care of it should be a top priority. Quick doctor appointments not only benefit you but also society as a whole. If you're experiencing health concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to your healthcare provider or a medical professional. Your well-being is worth the investment of time and attention to ensure a healthier, happier future.

[itfrontdeskus]

Can IVR scheduling software integrate with other systems?

[codenance]

Doctor Appointment Mobile App Development for Your Clinic Guide

How to Build a Doctor Appointment Mobile App for Your Clinic?

Is your waiting room regularly jam-packed with patients? You have not managed your appointment scheduling process well if you see this happening.

Implementing medical appointment software is a surefire way to fix the problem. Regardless of whether it is a mobile app or a web platform, both your staff and patients will benefit from it. It’s no secret that the COVID-19 pandemic makes them resent having to crowd together in a tiny room.

We’ll begin by examining a system for booking doctor appointments online and why patients expect it. How can you meet their expectations? We’ll show you how in this article.

On-Demand Services App for Doctor’s Appointments and Its Benefits

Scheduling appointments with a doctor via an app has two benefits. Firstly, they provide the convenience of scheduling visits with the doctors and hospitals of your choice. As a second benefit, these systems store each appointment and piece of data in one location. Staff at your hospital will appreciate it.

In the real world, it goes like this:

From the standpoint of a patient. Appointments can now be scheduled through an app instead of calling your office. Rather than waiting for an appointment to come open, they can schedule a visit with their doctor at any time. Neither you nor your patients need to waste time.

From the standpoint of a clinic. A clinic booking system software is based on an app or a web-based platform. Using an online doctor booking app development simplifies processes that your staff might struggle to manage manually (e.g., entering patient information, scheduling doctors’ time slots, handling paperwork, etc.). Apps can also help track patients’ visits and improve communication between doctors and patients. It is easier to confirm, cancel, or reschedule appointments this way.

The solution promises cost savings, but how does it accomplish that?

You can minimize unused appointment times when you use an app or a web platform to manage your hospital appointment system. You may lose money as a result of no-shows or cancellations.

Setting up reminders and notifications on your app will help you avoid no-shows. When patients miss their appointments, you can schedule them back-to-back as soon as possible to prevent losing money on unused time slots.

Clinics can also prevent overlapping appointments by developing an appointment booking system. In the healthcare industry, overlapping appointments are a major problem. Automated solutions can prevent double bookings in the first place and help prevent them from occurring in the first place.

Amid pandemic turmoil, this issue is too crucial to ignore. To comply with social-distancing standards, you need as few patients as possible in your waiting room.

Here Are the Basic Features of an Appointment App for Doctors

The features you want in a doctor appointment booking app should be determined before you begin Android mobile app development for your clinic.

Here are five essential features for your doctor appointment app you should consider including.

1. Physician Profiles

Patients and potential doctors can connect for the first time via an app. Physician profiles need to be clear and comprehensive. All necessary information should be included, such as photos, capabilities, experience, and everything else the patient will need to make a decision. It would also be useful to include the cost of consultations and treatment.

2. A Patient’s Profile

Patients’ information should always be accessible to doctors, whether they are seeing a patient for the first time or for a follow-up. Mobile applications come in handy for storing this information. Any details about a patient can be retrieved from it (name, age, medical history, treatment plans, insurance information, etc.) before an appointment.

3. Option for Searching

A large database might make searching through all the profiles difficult for patients. A search option will help them find what they’re looking for. Filtering profiles by desired treatments, doctor ratings, and location are all available.

4. Reservation Form

A doctor appointment website or app should be able to help you schedule a visit as easy as booking an online appointment. A patient should have easy access to appointment time slots and dates once they select a physician. Making booking an appointment as simple as possible is ideal.

5. Alerts

Here’s a quick guideline. To reduce unused appointment times, you should implement reminders and notifications when developing a hospital appointment booking app. To minimize missed appointments, you can send them to patients before scheduled appointments.

Read Also: Online Video Conferencing App Development Cost

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Products & Services Worth The Splurge

Fashion:

A great couple of bras in black/nude (your best skin-toned shade)

Comfortable, breathable, and seamless underwear

Outerwear (Coats, jackets, blazers)

The perfect pair of jeans

An LBD that works from day to night

Comfortable, sturdy, sleek, and timeless footwear (a versatile black boot, a black heel, white sneaker, and a black flat/loafer/sandal)

A timeless and versatile crossbody or shoulder bag (a larger one for the daytime/work or school and a smaller one for nighttime/events)

One or two well-made classic jewelry item(s)

A conversation-starting item or accessory

Beauty:

Sunscreen

Any skincare/skin cosmetic products that are game-changers for you

A quality hair brush, comb, and hair towel

Your signature scent

A quality razor/hair removal product

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Reliable hair tools and sturdy nail tools

A quality hair heat protectant/scalp cleansing or conditioning spray

Makeup brushes and beauty tool cleaners

Home:

Lamps/lighting

Couch/desk chair

Everything for your bed: Bed frame, mattress/sheets/pillows, etc.

Knives

Dishwasher-safe and microwave-safe dishes & cups you love

A full-length mirror

Vacuum

Storage solutions/cedar blocks or moth balls

Quality holders for everything: Paper towels, shower storage, hooks, mailbox/key bowls

Name brand paper products/household cleaners

Electric toothbrush & Waterpik

Sound-proof headphones/Airpods

MacBook Air

Health & Wellness:

High-quality lettuce and/or sprouts

Organic frozen fruits and vegetables (if fresh is too pricey)

BPA-free canned goods

Potassium bromate & glyphosate-free grain products

Snacks free of artificial colors

Quality coffee

An at-home massage tool/heating pad

Fur products for skin/hair removal

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Quality running shoes

Anything that goes near your vulva or into the vagina: Sex toys, lube, condoms, toy cleaners, pads/tampons/menstrual cups, cleansing wipes, etc.

A yoga mat, resistance band, and a pair of small ankle weights

Spotify subscription

Books and audiobooks

Services:

Therapy

A top-tier haircut

House cleaning (even if it's only once every couple of months)

Top-tier hair removal/brow maintenance services of your choice

Best doctors, dentists, OB/GYN, and dermatologists you can get

At least one personal training/styling session in your life

Professional/Social:

Ownership of the domain for your full legal/professional name and/or business name

A CPA/bookkeeper/fiduciary financial advisor

Automation workflow/content management system software

A lawyer for contract review/LLC services

Personalized stationery/"Thank You" cards

Memorable client gifting for the holidays/milestone successes

Niche skill-based certifications (Google, AWS, Hubspot, etc.) or courses made by trusted professionals in your field

Subscriptions in world-leading and industry-authority digital publications

[thefemigirl]

★ Embrace Uncertainty for True Happiness

I recently started reading this amazing book about Emotional Intelligence and it totally opened my eyes to how important it is in our daily lives. Emotional Intelligence isn’t just about understanding our feelings—it’s also about being flexible and open to whatever life throws our way.

Just imagine this: You’ve set your heart on landing a specific job right after university. You imagine how perfect it will be working there, you already know how you'll organise your desk, and window shopping your future office outfits. But when things don’t go as planned i.e. you don't get the job, you feel crushed and start doubting yourself and feel you're not good enough or just plain unlucky in life. Personally I've been there TOO many times. This fixed mindset can blind you to other awesome opportunities that might be just as fulfilling.

However, I have some tips from the book on how to emotionally manage these kinds of situations!

▸ Step 1: Stay Open-Minded

Tell yourself, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m open to learning and growing from whatever comes my way.” Let go of those rigid expectations and embrace life’s unpredictability.

Why it matters: Staying open-minded helps you adapt to new situations and discover unexpected joys.

Real Talk: I once had a super fixed idea of becoming a neurosurgeon (brain doctor), but when I left highschool early, I thought I would be a failure forever. Then a Software Development apprenticeship opportunity popped up, I decided to give it a shot. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made!

▸ Step 2: Focus on the Present

Make the most of your current experiences instead of always planning for some future “perfect” situation. Ask yourself, “What’s good about this moment right now?”

How to do it: Try practicing mindfulness through meditation or just take a few minutes each day to appreciate your surroundings.

Pro Tip: Start a gratitude journal. Every day, jot down three things you’re thankful for in the present moment. It’s a game-changer!

▸ Step 3: Embrace Growth in All Experiences

When challenges come your way, look for opportunities to learn or grow. Instead of labelling something as entirely good or bad, ask, “What can I take from this experience to make me stronger or wiser?”

Action step: After any setback, take a moment to reflect on what you’ve learned and how you can use it moving forward.

Personal Insight: During a tough breakup, instead of dwelling on the pain, I focused on what the relationship taught me about my needs and boundaries. This helped me grow and prepare for healthier relationships in the future.

Building emotional intelligence isn’t something you do overnight—it’s a continuous journey of self-discovery and adaptation.

So, as you navigate your own path, remember to embrace the uncertainty and trust that each experience, whether good or bad, is shaping you into a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Here’s to your amazing journey ahead,

[fiddles-ifs]

[ID: a banner-style image with smudged, grungy text. The banner says "blog update" in bold, capital letters. The background is textured green and white with a film border around it. The upper left corner says "official photograph not to be released for publication." /end ID]

Happy update day!

Greenwarden, Eryinys, and TKP's chapter 1 updates are all coming along very smoothly. (Except for Greenwarden. Firstborn problem indeed. I ended up losing a ton of work -- including the whole library update -- and I got so mad I started working on a whole other route. Coming back to the library route soon, though. I have enough salvageable material, I just need to be Not Mad about it.) Here's some snippets!

CONTENT WARNING: Gore

GREENWARDEN

Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. Sprinting down the street doesn't even hurt, even if you do leave a long blood trail behind you. Your one hope is that the coyote is too preoccupied tearing chunks out of Eddie to pay attention to you. Hope is dangerous -- makes you cocky. Makes you make mistakes. You keep running toward what you think is safety, and you end up right at the edge of Warden Forest. Definitely not safety. You stop just before the mouth of the woods, breathing so hard you gag, your stomach half-open like a yawning mouth. Deep breaths hurt too much -- you can't bring yourself back to baseline. You risk losing your adrenaline rush if you do that anyway. Looking around looks the same. Woods and parking lot, woods and parking lot. There's a trail right ahead of you, tempting you inside. The click of nails against asphalt makes you whirl around. The damn coyote is right behind you, still licking gristle from its teeth.

ERINYS

Marik leads you to a corner covered in paper thin monitors. Cords feed into the biggest computer you may have ever seen, protected from the water and soap by thick rubber casing and a raised platform surrounded by guardrails painted yellow and black. The ramp vibrates under heel. You realize, with a start, that the computer and monitors are much lower to the floor than you'd expect, just as the engineer wheels around to face you both. "Sorenson," Marik says. The engineer grins with a mouthful of pearly white teeth and leans back in his chair, arms folded over his stomach. He's all hard planes. Built with lean muscle, broad-shouldered like DANIEL is, but with a shock of curly red hair and a mess of dark freckles. He has a dimple on his nose. "Marik," Sorenson says, wheeling his chair back to make room for you both. "All systems good. I'm running tune-up software now, just to make sure. Everything is brand new, but still. Can't be too careful." He glances at you. Nothing escapes Marik's notice, even bent across the desk to glare into screens running codes and diagnostics and other things that make you dizzy. Absently, he introduces you to each other. The engineer's name is Doctor Matthew Sorenson. He looks awfully young to be a doctor. "Fury, huh?" Dr. Sorenson raises his eyebrows. You flex your hands. "Whatever keeps you alive, I guess."

THE KING'S PHYSICIAN

The Maw is a jagged white chalkscape. You have to march in single file, careful to avoid the razor sharp juts of rock. The horses are nervous -- the wolf packs and cave lions living in the Teeth have perfected the art of the ambush. Not just that -- the endless bone white expanse can cause the distracted to become easily lost. You keep close count of everyone -- you, Sibir, and Leniza -- their aunt. She gives the whole company water blessings on the way in. Salt water from the Archipelago, to fine their ways home. -> Not that you believe in blessings. You are a person of science. -> You give your own blessings when you can. You can never have too many gods at your disposal. -> You don't have an opinion on religion -- it's something that exists. Annoyingly prevalent, but what can you do?

I'm hoping at least one of these guys will be ready to publish by next month -- but I'm also writing another book! Because I'm crazy. So we'll see!

[my-castles-crumbling]

I was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness, which makes school extremely difficult and challenging. I'm not really sure what accommodations I can ask for (ik every school is different, especially in different countries, but any general accommodations ideas would be really helpful)

Hi!

I'm so sorry about your illness <3 I hope there's some sort of treatment to make it manageable

I think accommodations, laws, etc can vary greatly depending on age, school, and country (like you said) but a few that might be helpful are:

Designated note taker/provided notes or study guides/recorded class sessions

Flexible attendance requirement (like if a class normally punishes missed classes, that can be waived)

Extended exam time/ alternative testing environment (not testing with the rest of the class, testing at home, having extra time to test)

Alternative or minimized assignments, as long as mastery is shown (for example, if the teacher normally assigns 50 math problems, they only give you 20, as long as you get them correct)

Use of technology for assignments when it helps with any fatigue or mobility issues (like if it is more comfortable to type versus write assignments, or have an e-book versus carrying a textbook, or have a speech-to-text software if writing is painful)

Flexible seating and adjustment to environment (seating near the door if you often have to leave, a different type of seat if you have mobility devices that are difficult to access when sitting at a traditional desk, access to an elevator, use of non-LED lights)

Blanket permission to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom, nurse, guidance, etc without raising your hand/requesting a pass

Permission to have a cell phone out and accessible to converse with a medical professional, access medical monitoring devices, etc

Depending on your illness some of these may be wildly unhelpful but these are the most common ones I see! In most schools, you would just need to have a meeting with the school (and a parent/gaurdian) if you are underage) and bring a doctor's note to get these accommodations. In public schools in the US, you would be given what is called a '504' which is a plan legally requiring teachers to give you these accommodations.

I hope this helps!

[hankbot0-9]

I may have only made, two posts about Doctor WHO and like, no one knows who I am really, but here's another. I am slightly, disappointed with the new Tardis Interior. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the size, it's so spacious and the ramps and walkways are great to see (If I were in that Tardis I would just be running up and down the entire thing like David). Plus the new lighting system, peak, love it. Almost. See the main problem I have with the new interior is not the size or hell even the emptiness of it, it's the way it's lit. Take the interior in Space Babies for instant.

Looks good right. Nice color choice, feels cozy. Yet I can't help but feel it's not there yet, like there's some form of off screen light that's making everything just that tiny bit brighter and thus dilutes the effect.

And it's why I think this Tardis interior just does not fully work for me. It has all the elements of a great Tardis, but the way it's lit doesn't do it any favors. Even with a darker theme like this one, the empty space and unhomely aspects still persists. It's annoying because I don't think there needs to be more homely aspects, maybe a few chairs and a coat hanger (I mean how cool would it be to see some of 15's other coats hanging up in a random episode). But even then the lightning would still need to work. Like here:

This feels more homely, more cozy. Even with only the jukebox this feels like a place the doctor would read a book, or tinker or something. It feels less spacious and souless, and all I did was take a screen shot and use my basic photo editing given to me by my laptop. And it's annoying because they are always so close to having a really great Tardis interior but they just, don't.

And sometimes it hurts a scene in my opinion, like here with Ruby's departure.

Like yes, there are many problems with this scene and when the only emotion I had during it was "OMG the Church outfit" something is definitely wrong, but I can't help but feel like one problem was the way the Tardis was lit, like why is so bright, so impersonal with the larger, empty space only adding to the problems.

(Again using basic editing software and knowledge, with a few small changes and it feels more right)

Another example is Rouge, where once again the Tardis is shot with warm colors but does not take advantage of the lighting and still keeps it very lit up with little shadows.

Still making this very close and emotional scene where The Doctor and Rogue almost share a kiss feel, cold. Wrong, like the atmosphere and mood is just, not there in the lighting.

But here it the lighting fits the mood. It's dark and feels more personal, close, romantic. The lighting is helping instead of hindering. And that's the real problem, the lighting is constantly hindering the mood of the scene or just not quite getting there, leaving it to feel impersonal, empty and just, cold.

[mycareind]

MyCare India introduces a comprehensive Hospital Management System to streamline healthcare processes. Our user-friendly software efficiently handles patient records, appointment scheduling, billing, and electronic health records.

For More Information:- https://www.mycareindia.co.in/hospital/

[rosemaidenvixen]

Tales of Arcadia Hallmark au

Idea came from a conversation between me and @trololololololooz , based on our shared love of Hallmark movies, TOA, and gay stuff.

Spoiler alert, Jeves and Clairy sweetness ahead.

Ao3

Steve is a big time baseball star and Mary is his girlfriend and a big time corporate lawyer. (Neither one of them is super invested in their relationship, because gay, but it's pushed on them by Steve's manager and Mary's boss, as it generates good publicity for both of them). Steve suffers a big injury, his doctor tells him it could be the end of his sports career. Steve's manager blows the doctor off, telling Steve to rest over Christmas and he can get back on the field in January. Steve gets a call from his childhood BFF Darci, who tells him that she just published a book and the release event is going to be held in their hometown of Arcadia, and she encourages him to come. Steve decides to go visit Arcadia for Christmas while resting his injury. Mary accompanies him, under instructions from her firm to scout the town for a corporate takeover.

Mary and Steve arrive in Arcadia only to have their car immediately break down. They go to the local mechanic, only for Steve to be utterly shocked that their mechanic is Jim, Steve's high school friend and secret crush. Both of them are flustered and awkward, Steve says he's only in town to visit family for the holiday/see Darci's book signing and Jim agrees to fix Steve's car. Steve overhears a phone call between Jim and Claire and thinks the two are dating and becomes sad. In reality Jim and Claire did date a bit after high school but mutually broke it off and are just friends now.

Meanwhile outside the mechanic shop Claire and Mary run into each other. Claire, a local councilwoman, recognizes Mary as the corporate takeover lawyer and confronts her. Cue wlw hostility.

Car now fixed Steve and Mary continue on their way to his siblings' house. They arrive and are greeted by Douxie, Steve's adopted older brother, who guides them inside. Douxie lives with his and Steve's younger siblings, twins Aja and Krel, and Aja's girlfriend Shannon. Douxie is a waiter/a musician on the side, Krel is a software engineer, Shannon is a liveblogger, and Aja does something completely off the wall like lumberjack/reindeer herder/bear wrestler. Steve is delighted by the reunion with his siblings and easily falls back in with them. He and Mary also let them know that their relationship is purely for business purposes and they aren't romantically interested in each other at all. At dinner Steve inquires about where their parents are, the others are all made uncomfortable by this and tell Steve they still live in town but Steve doesn't have to see them. Steve brushes off their concerns but Mary is intrigued.

The next morning they all go to the book store for Darci's book release. Steve gets there early and he and Darci have a heartfelt reunion. The book signing commences to and Steve's surprise they run into Jim and Claire at the book store. Cue blushing and awkwardness from Steve and Jim, and tooth grinding barely concealed hostility from Mary and Claire.

Shannon sees how obvious Jim and Steve are being and tells Douxie, Aja, and Krel they need to get the two of them together so they'll stop being blushing awkward messes. Delighted at the idea of hijinks they all agree.

Douxie slides in and tells Steve that while Jim is the town mechanic he also bakes on the side and does a lot of the baking for the town Christmas festival and is heavily involved with running it, and that he'd be a great person to show Steve around the town. Steve and Jim both blush and flounder saying they're going to be busy helping Mary and Claire with their respective tasks. Aja chimes in saying Mary and Claire can come along and the four of them can spend time together, shy agreement from Jim and Steve and forced grins from Mary and Claire.

Cut to them doing various holiday activities, Steve and Jim have shy sweet chemistry while Mary and Claire have barely concealed hostility. This ends with Steve's injury being aggravated. Jim, Mary, and Claire push Steve to go see a doctor, which stresses Steve greatly until Jim tells him that the old town doctor died when he slipped on a patch of ice and Barbara is the new doctor.

At the doctor's office Jim and Steve go into the exam room while Mary and Claire hang out in the waiting room. Barbara looks over Steve's injury and says he's fine for now but to take it easy and not do anything strenuous, and that he should definitely make an appointment with a physical therapist. Jim and Steve share an "I'm glad you're ok" moment, which Barbara observes.

Meanwhile in the waiting room the computer system goes down and everyone starts panicking, Mary steps in and begins organizing things, quickly bringing the chaos into order. Claire reluctantly respects her for this.

Barbara later meets with Douxie, Aja, Krel, and Shannon, once she realizes that Steve and Mary's relationship is purely for show she becomes fully onboard with their antics to bring Jim and Steve together. Shannon has a quick moment of realization "Wait are we in a Hallmark movie?"

The next day Jim and Steve spend time with Toby and Darci at their D&D session, Claire declined because she's busy and Mary because she's tired. Toby privately tells Jim his feelings for Steve are obvious and Jim should go ahead and ask him out, Jim says he can't because Steve built up a new life as a big baseball star that Jim has no place in. Darci does the same with Steve but Steve says that Jim is with Claire and Steve can't disrupt their happiness.

That night Mary is frustrated at her bosses hounding her and decides to go out to a local bar to hopefully unwind. Douxie's band takes the stage and to her utter shock Claire is with them as a bassist/vocalist rocking out to punk music. Moment of gay panic from Mary. Off stage she tells Claire she really enjoyed her performance, a flustered Claire says that punk music is just something she uses to unwind from her job as a councilwoman.

The next day they do more holiday activities with the four of them, with Claire and Mary earnestly enjoying each other's company this time. At the end of the day Barbara, Douxie, Aja, Krel, and Shannon arrange for Steve and Jim to have a quiet moment alone (Shannon remains the only one self aware of their Hallmark movie shenanigens). Jim reveals that he and Claire broke up and are purely friends now, a stunned Steve reveals that him and Mary's relationship is purely for publicity. Sharing a moment of stunned elation the two of them agree to try a relationship.

The next day Jim and Steve go meet up with Steve's old baseball team, including Eli, Logan, and Seamus who still play baseball in their free time. They are all are excited to see Steve as he's the only one who "made" it. Steve shyly says after his injury he's considering giving up sports and picking up something less hard on his body. Steve has a great time catching up with them until he's ambushed by his parents. They pull him aside and berate him for potentially giving up sports, calling him weak for not wanting to play with his injury, and make homophobic comments about him and Jim. Meanwhile after hearing the other team members talk Jim starts to feel guilty about pulling Steve away from his glamorous sports star life.

That night Jim breaks up with Steve, claiming it's because their lives are just too different. Steve is heartbroken, and under pressure from his parents and his manager, believes baseball is the only thing he'll ever be good for and makes plans to go back to the big city and back to playing.

Meanwhile Claire overhears snippets of a conversation Mary has on the phone and thinks that Mary's giving her firm the go ahead to take over the town. Claire angrily tells Mary off. A crushed Mary makes plans to go back to the city with Steve, both of them planning on continuing their sham relationship.

Steve tells Eli, Logan, and Seamus goodbye, saying he's split up with Jim and is heading back to the big city to start back up with baseball practice. They're worried about Steve both breaking up with Jim and jumping back in to baseball instead of resting his injury. They go check with Barbara, who is very concerned by Steve's plan to return to baseball, as she knows that's the last thing his injury needs.

All of them meet up with Douxie, Douxie confesses that their parents always pushed Steve too hard to succeed in baseball, and that they got the old town doctor to sweep his injuries under the rug so they could push him further and further. Douxie always wanted to intervene, but because he was a foster kid, their parents threatened to send Douxie away if he made too much of a fuss. They all decide that they can't let Steve and Jim part like this, so they wrangle everyone in town to help Steve and Jim get back together (at this point Shannon is resigned "fuck it if we're in a Hallmark movie we might as well go all the way").

Through hijinks Barbara, all of Steve's siblings, and the baseball team get Steve and Mary to attend the town's Christmas tree lighting festival. Toby and Darci find Jim and Claire drowning their sorrows in eggnog at the local bar. Jim bemoans that he can't get in the way of Steve's dream life and at least this way he can protect Steve's feelings. Toby shuts him down hard, saying that he's not protecting Steve, he's taking the decision away from him, and that Steve deserves to make his own choices and Jim owes him his honest feelings. Claire grumbles about being decieved by Mary, Darci curtly points out that what Claire heard was a small segment of a conversation with absolutely no context, Mary could have been talking about a lot of things, and at the very least Claire should ask Mary for an explanation. Jim and Claire concede and agree to meet up with Steve and Mary.

At the tree lighting Jim reunites with Steve and confesses everything, he says he loves Steve and wants to be with him, but doesn't want to get in the way of Steve doing the sport he loves. He says he'll support Steve at whatever Steve wants, as long as it makes Steve happy. Jim's sincerity has Steve breaking down, he confesses he's been grinding so much at baseball he hasn't enjoyed it for a long time, and his injury gives him chronic pain and he wants to quit but has been doing baseball for so long he doesn't know what else to do. Jim assures him he can spend as much time as he needs to figuring it out.

Meanwhile Claire apologizes to Mary for blowing up at her and asks about the phone call. Mary confesses that she is planning a corporate takeover...of her own company, using blackmail and embezzlement to oust her bosses and put herself on top. She says she loved spending time with Claire, but she also loves being a corporate lawyer, and she could never ask Claire to leave the town she loves. Claire confesses that while she does love her town she doesn't want to be a councilwoman for the rest of her life, and that she, Douxie, and the rest of the band have been talking for months about going to the city to try and make it big.

Both couples happily agree to try new lives together. Jim and Steve in Arcadia, and Mary and Claire in the big city.

Steve's parents storm in and start berating Steve again for quitting baseball just when he's "made it". Jim steps in and absolutely tears into them, saying they never truly cared about what was best for Steve and pushed him to the point of injury. Douxie, Aja, Krel, Mary, Claire, Logan, Seamus, Eli, and the other baseball team members all join in on blasting Steve's parents. Embarrassed, Steve's parents slink away.

The Christmas tree lighting commences, Jim and Steve share a kiss, as well as Mary and Claire. Shannon rolls her eyes "Of course they kiss now, we are in a Hallmark movie after all," Aja slides up to her "So does this mean you don't want to kiss me?" Shannon smirks "Oh I didn't say that".

While the couples are all kissing Krel, Darci, and Toby roll their eyes and share a moment of aromantic solidarity as the only three people in town capable of being normal about this stuff. Darci remarks that she doesn't see the Palchuk parents anywhere. Krel tells her that Douxie mentioned their parents were arrested for child abuse and taken away. Toby comments that it's weird for them to be arrested after all this time has passed but none of them really dwell on it.

Cut to the Palchuk parents' being taken away by Krampus (Strickler) while Barbara and Douxie watch. Through conversation it's revealed that Krampus (Strickler) is Barbara's friend with benefits. After he departs with the Palchuk parents, Douxie asks if Barbara cares to explain how she and Krampus (Strickler) became fwb, Barbara says no she does not.

One year later, Steve has quit baseball and lives in Arcadia with Jim. He fosters animals for the local shelter and works part time as a substitute teacher, as well as various other side jobs around town. Steve still doesn't know what he wants to spend the rest of his life doing, but he's having fun trying out the different options while being loved and supported by Jim and his friends and family. He's started physical therapy and stopped playing baseball completely, but enjoys cheering Eli, Logan, and Seamus on at their games.

Mary, Claire, and Douxie arrive in town to visit for Christmas. Mary gushes about how much she enjoys running her own firm, while Douxie and Claire gleefully share how their band is taking off.

Big Christmas party with all the characters happens, Steve and Jim share a kiss under the mistletoe.

Cue end credits over Christmas music.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 11 thoughts

after a lovely vacation romp to maine in the last episode, i am wondering where we will visit next. i liked the last one so much that it’s follow-up will face great challenges!! i also have heard that the next one is a fan favorite, i believe? so interested to see where we go from there.

ah, i think i have seen a screenshot of this episode where scully makes a very annoyed face. and it’s fantastic. but that is all i know about it.

another AI episode! buddy, if only the writers could see what we live in now. i mean, they’re probably still alive. but did they picture sentient computer programs writing essays for nurses and doctors and lawyers in school when penning this script? no. they did not. and yes, i have seen these things in my time at college. we are cooked.

post-episode thoughts: bi scully you are SO important to me!!!!!!

anyway! let us begin.

we open at a diner. where someone is typing on a very beat up laptop. covered in duct tape. king of being on a budget.

the waiter asks laptop guy if he wants his coffee warmed up, and he answers with “no, but i’ll buy another one if you’ll leave me alone” which instantly makes me think this guy is like, some sort of terrorist. and he also is coughing. suspiciously.

whatever he is trying to get into, his access has been denied!!!

a mysterious number calls another guy named jackson on his cell phone, saying that his partner stole his money, and he wants to help him get revenge. the voice says his enemy is in the diner… jackson heads out to investigate

and another guy gets a call that the person who wronged him is in the diner!! and then another!!! and another!! there’s going to be a whole meetup!! one of violence!!!

this laptop guy at the diner is just typing, typing, trying to get into… whatever it is that won’t let him in while others arrive. this diner will be making bank tonight if they all get something to eat. but it doesn’t seem like any of the people coming in know each other… tension is very high as everything is quiet and they take their seats. 

computer guy finally does something to get into the system and coughs. menacingly. saying there is nothing that can be done.

and he puts in a CD…. is he gonna blow this place up??!?!?

BUT we will never know! because US marshals come in, and a gunfight erupts!!

nooo, the poor diner :(

intro time….. scully <3

now what is afoot here. and whatever happened to our deep throat 3.0 figure? she was here for a minute and then dipped. will we see her again today?

the agents are here at the diner to investigate the crime scene, trench coats billowing around. how many trench coats do these guys have? they tend to be darker, but i have a light brown one of stereotypical trench coat color, and i wonder if that would pass in their fashion book

the marshals were here to catch a guy named pico salazar who worked for a cartel, but i think the funny part is that he escaped from federal custody 3 months ago and scully had no idea who tf he was. she’s a busy woman!

no mr. salazar was present, however, there were a lot of other criminals at the scene. “mulder, these are street-level coke dealers, minor wholesalers at most” <- that sounded brutal coming from her lmaooo. read them again for me!

“it’s 2:45 in the morning, you mind telling me what it is we’re supposed to be looking for?” <- NOOOO the FBI needs to STOP WAKING HER UP!!! LET HER SLEEP!!! mulder seems wide awake but this is not surprising.

the answer to what they are looking for is: donald gelman, the hacker guy from earlier, who is a silicon valley software pioneer. who had been missing since 1979!!

he was about to make a deal that would turn him into the second bill gates, went hiking the night before, and was never found again??? that’s weird. mulder must have a mental encyclopedia of notable missing persons. among other subjects.

the computer has seen better days

mulder supposes that this was a hit- bring together 8 known criminals, then call the marshals, and a gunfight was inevitable- but scully says gelman was clearly dying, so what was the point of calling a hit?? a great question from someone known for asking great questions

“you want to kill the brain, not the body” <- i don’t like that response, mulder

scully’s driving today. HE STOLE THE LAPTOP?

“mulder, that’s evidence!” “gee, i hope so” <- LMAO??? what the hell is this guy doing. she is so sick of his nonsense i'm crying

he pulls out the CD while scully looks deeply troubled. and it starts playing a nice little song!!! it's called "twilight time". she’s freaked tf out.

he brings the laptop and CD to the lone gunmen, who are nerding out. big day for guys like them. gelman is famous in their circle. they’re gagged to learn he died; “a brother goes down”, says frohike

LMAOOO scully is reading their lone gunmen newspaper while they do whatever the hell it is they do… there’s an article on the front about infrared monitoring… she wants to go home!!!

langly is trying to hack the code keeping them out of the laptop...

scully comes in again with the steel chair of facts and logic: “anyone, uh, think to check his email?”

LMAOOO i paused to write that down and mulder’s face is PRICELESS he looks soooo proud of her 

woah… old email… had a nice little animation of a mailbox!! makes me nostalgic for something i never knew

gelman's email says david is missing and the hunted has become the hunter. i assume that refers to the AI…? the message is from “invisigoth”

LMAOOOOO mulder puts together that the string of numbers is an ID for a shipping container and she looks SO IMPRESSED i’m HOWLLLING she wanted to climb him like a TREEEE 

(author's note: if anyone has this gifset PLEASE tag me in it. scully was alternating between incredible levels of "i am so over this nonsense" and "we should kiss about it" for mulder AND esther. truly a woman at her limit. god. i love her)

off to shipping container land. is that a place where you can just… visit? he’s trying to give scully directions, but i don’t trust his navigation skills. 

why is there loud music playing from this shipping container… goth rave???

they find the right container, but NOOOO, HE GOT ZAPPED by whoever was inside!!!! she’s worried!! “i’m alright, go, get her!” <- that’s a man focused on the mission

scully is running and running and she tackles this mysterious woman!!! but she zaps scully!! “stop or i’ll shoot”, scully warns, and you KNOW she isn’t messing around!!

BAM! shoot she does. didn't land on her, but it must have been close

(the taser CGI is killing me lmaooo)

yeah, you better surrender. “thank you", scully says <- LMAOOOO she’s had ENOUGH and pins her against the wall to handcuff her

it seems she was just living here… oh, invisigoth is mad!!! she tells scully to bite her!!! i would be mad too tbh but like. they have a good reason to be there! gelman is dead! so maybe let’s be a bit more professional!!!

her computer is beeping beeping beeping…. she says it’s a missile locking onto them?

WOAH scully stopped her with a hand to the chest 😳 

(it was at this point i was Noticing Things between them...)

but mulder believes that they really are going to get blown up!!! scully is PISSED!! she has had ENOUGH!!! she hit a bunch of storage containers on the way out and sure enough, they narrowly missed an explosion….. what does this goth girl know…!!!

lmaooo, now for a nice little drive in the country while they figure out wtf to do with the goth in the backseat. mulder’s stuck in the passenger seat, his legs barely fitting in there. 

mulder clocks that this is about a sentient AI that i guess gelman let loose online to evolve (uh, okay)

“what was your role in all of this? were you the bass player?” <- LMAO SCULLY HATES THIS WOMAN (mulder’s side eye is fantastic as well)

invisigoth recites all her academic credentials (of which there are many, and they are deeply impressive) and then when scully asks her to explain what she did for gelman she says “you wouldn’t understand” ohhh the girls are fighting!!! 

scully pulls over at some random place to get out of the car and yell at mulder!!! we have to stop waking her up at 2 in the morning PLEASE! she thinks it’s all nonsense. maybe invisigoth launched the bomb herself!!!

but invisigoth says that the AI knows her voice and will strike if she talks on the phone… they were working with the AI and then one day it wouldn’t “come when we called it” (is this like a puppy?)

scully’s face is so funny lmaoo

“it’s not a program anymore; it’s wildlife loose on the net” <- i do not think AI really works like that, but i don’t know enough about it to dispute the situation 

invisigoth says that the AI killed david because he was trying to kill the AI!!! and twilight time CD is the kill switch

so they take her to the lone gunmen, who are starstruck!! meanwhile scully is gagged to learn her name is “esther nairn” LMAOOO

“are you gonna take off my cuffs, or do i have to do this with my tongue?” “you don’t want to take a vote”, says mulder <- LMAO WHY TF DID SCULLY DO THAT WITH HER TONGUE I'M CRYINGGGGG

am i sensing some bisexual undertones… like, it’s not just me, right…?

(this was the point where i had to actually Pause and make a post to make sure i wasn't just imagining all of this. after the tackling, the cuffing, the way scully stopped esther by her chest, scully lowkey bullying her, being gagged her name is esther, AND the tongue thing... and thankfully, multiple tumblr users confirmed that it was not, in fact, just in my head. which i am deeply thankful for)

scully’s taunting esther about the AI tracking her. so i guess now they have to go to the physical location of the hardware and give it the kill switch. sure. i guess.

frohike is admiring esther. frohike needs to be sprayed with a water bottle like a naughty cat.

SCULLY IS SO MAD LMAOOO “why don’t you just call him? oh, right; death from above” I LOVE HER ANGRY BAHAHA

(scully flirting by being mean is so fucking funny. i don't know if i would have anticipated that for her character, but now that i've seen it, i embrace it. it was like she hated this woman so much but was also unfortunately attracted to her and she wasn't going to let those seemingly mutually exclusive things get her down)

oh my god, when esther mentioned needing someone that works for the government to do her little hacking scheme, scully looks SO angrily in mulder’s direction… and he really is SO pretty….

i always take time to appreciate how pretty scully is. now we get one of those moments for mulder, as well.

so, off to virginia to do some crime. mulder is here alone and must scale a pole to get to the optic fiber connection? sure, why not. meanwhile, scully sleeps at the lone gunmen head quarters… but invisigoth slash esther has set herself free!!

she’s holding scully at gun point!!! “buenos dias, muchacha” <- okay so i’m not the only one seeing this? right. 

(deep, resigned scully sigh)

wait, i was so invested in whatever the hell it is these two have going on, i didn’t even acknowledge that all the lone gunmen were sleeping together LMAOOO on their little couches!!! aww. best buddies having a sleepover!!

but mulder is… at another pole? 

he calls her “scully?” (most flat, angry voice you have ever heard) “yup.” LMAOOO

he found an abandoned chicken farm with a T3 connection and she says “dandy” <- LMAOOOO

“where are you? it sounds like you’re driving” “you are correct, sir” BAHAHAAAAA

NOOOO, ESTHER HAS HER AT GUNPOINT TAKING HER TO FIND DAVID and she looks SOOOO OVER IT. do not hurt her, esther.

nah, you can’t get between mulder and scully like that… NOT COOL.

mulder’s in the damn trees of virigina??? and he finds a trailer??? 

meanwhile esther, who is now wearing a lone gunmen badge on her jacket, finds an entirely destroyed house where she meant for david to be!!! this is not promising

scully reaches for the handcuffs and unlocks herself from the wheel…. but esther is sobbing and doesn’t notice. did she put her hand back in there to disguise it??

scully’s reaching for the gun…. WOAH esther hands it over to her “go ahead. put me out of my misery”

(scully.exe does not compute. hot goth holding me hostage is now crying in my car: ????)

OH MY GOD, SCULLY PUTS HER ARM ON ESTHER’S SHOULDER WHILE SHE SOBS

(she might be a hater, but even more than that, scully is a lover. gently caressing the sobbing lady who just asked her to kill her)

WOAHHH loud ass noise as mulder approaches this trailer YEESH!!! damn, i had to turn the volume wayyy down!! no warning!!! 

whatever is in that mysterious trailer sees him on a screen…. is this the house of the AI? is he going in there??? will he be blowed up??

his fingerprint is captured and matched!!

WAIT, WE SEE MORE OF HIS PROFILE….

oxford university AB in psychology, graduated summa cum laude in 1982, quantico in 1984, assigned to violent crimes in 1988, x files in 1990….

SO THAT MAN GRADUATED FROM OXFORD IN 3 YEARS WITH A BA AND THAT’S ALL? he definitely carries himself with the air of a dude who did his masters is all i’m saying. maybe that's just what happens when a character is played by a guy who went to 2 different ivy league schools.

idk how much of this i should subscribe to because… god only knows if it will reflect canon or not. would like to get one of these snippets of their whole careers for scully. just so i know what to keep and discard in my fool's errand of calculating her timeline.

wait, back to the wreckage of the house that was exploded with scully and esther. “i lied to you”, she says. okay. so this is getting intimate. 

“imagine being mingled so completely with another, you no longer need your physical self- you’re one” damn. that’s crazy. and also now i am definitely NOT imagining these undertones. like at this point, they’re overtones.

she was going to live forever with david in the AI, but gelman stopped it, because he was afraid of what would happen.

ohhhh, esther finds a picture of her and david in the wreckage :( she says she loved him so much… writers knew it was getting a little too gay lmao

(frankly, i see this as a win for bisexuality)

scully points out that maybe david wasn’t there when everything exploded; maybe he was somewhere else. very thoughtful to console your crying kidnapper in this way, scully.

mulder, meanwhile, is climbing under the trailer, looking for clues. he’s unscrewing something while a little robot on the inside roams around!! aww it’s kinda cute!!! 

he entered from below and climbs in to find a maze of wires and endless rows of computers AND BLEH A DEAD GUY????????????? he looks like the life was sucked out of him!!!! and damn, it is david!!!!!! EWWW YUCKY

oh shit, mulder is being strapped into the same contraption that must have killed david….. this is not looking good!!!

he wakes up in a burn unit treatment wondering wtf is going on… oh, his arms are really burnt and they’re telling him to relax. this is not helpful!!! 

“is it bad?” “you’re in good hands” “my arms hurt” awww poor sweaty burned man :( around 800 people are wheeling him in…. and he sees a huge knife???? for the chopping off of arms??

is this some sort of dream scenario…? these nurse outfits are too weird…

“no, wait… call my doctor. you have to call… my doctor. call dr. scully. please call dr. scully” <- OMG NOOOOO he's scared and he describes her as his doctor… god, can you imagine????

(this gave me ideas of doctoring. which we have already seen in extreme scenarios, but can you imagine him being like "ugh, i have a headache" and she just drops into MD mode. i would like to picture it very much)

this old man is approaching him, and the nurses have weirdly long nails…. man, i don’t like that at all…. he’s being injected with stuff and a saw is buzzing next to his head……. this must be a terrible dream

back in the real world, scully cannot reach him!! esther says this is because the AI has adjusted to her voice on scully’s phone

they are racing to that chicken farm to try and cut it off… esther is using dial up in the car. yo, did dial up work in the CAR??? that is crazy. i could have been playing neopets on the go.

mulder is being visited by a scary evil nurse… did they cut his arms off….. NO!! just one arm!!! oh god. i never wanted to see his arm cut off.

WAIT, WHY IS THIS EVIL FANTASY NURSE WEARING A CROSS NECKLACE LIKE SCULLY?? hey. let’s unpack that at a later date. while she holds him down and says they’re evil and they want something from him.

HOLY FUCK SHE’S SMOTHERING HIM WITH A PILLOW???? “shh, or they’ll hear you” what da hell.

scully and esther are reaching a bridge… but the AI has found them!!! they’re right near a flammable tanker truck!!!

scully climbs up ONTO the truck of the nearest driver to tell him to MOVE and i am shocked by her truck climbing talents

meanwhile, esther is on the bridge that is now moving!! scully’s running after her, telling her to drop the laptop!!! and at the last second she throws it out to the water.

wait. what the fuck is cooking in mulder’s subconscious? why are three nurses rubbing him while he lays under a crucifix. and then he says he has a good dream??? and then she smiles and says it wasn’t a dream.

i don't like that. not one bit.

nurse nancy, you’re freaking me tf out. she says he has to tell “them” about the kill switch… the AI must be concocting some sort of weird nightmare thingy??

they took both of his arms!!!

SCULLY COMES IN WITH A GUN?? AND STARTS BEATING UP THE WOMEN?? LMAOOO THAT SPIN KICK WAS CRAAAAZY

what the hell. 

she’s yelling in his face while he sits there with no arms, asking if they have the kill switch… then he says “of course we do” and kicks her with his feet???

and he breaks the computer simulation???

omg, the scully computer model is killing me…

we should unpack that mixture of his worst fears and deepest desires (arms cut off, nurses touching and torturing him, religious imagery, scully coming in to save the day action hero style) but frankly i don't really want to think about such things at the time. i'm cool with certain parts of mulder's psyche not being analyzed.

he’s calling out to her!!! “scully, help! help!” but no one is around!!!!

esther and scully pull up to the chicken farm place and find his car…. esther is calling “here kitty kitty”, but we have to let her do her own thing…. 

they are also shocked by the terribly loud noise which scully quickly silenced with a few well aimed shots…. that is a woman who get things done!

mulder’s calling out to her!!! but the AI inserts him with more goo and he’s gone!!!

she’s sneaking in through the bottom of the trailer like he did, but she shoots tf out of the little robot i previously thought was cute. good. serves the evil robot right. and lord, she’s beautiful as she sneaks in. with esther behind her. 

they find david all sucked out of life. and scully sees mulder in the contraption. “mulder, can you hear me?” <- nooo, the robot is sneaking up on them!!!! 

the robot wants the kill switch!! esther had it in her pocket!! but if she gives it to the AI, it will “vaccinate” itself against the virus!!! this seems like late in the episode to introduce this idea, but again, i say sure, why not?

mulder is being zapped and scully says to put the kill switch in NOW!!! she goes and shoves it in herself!!! she said idgaf if this AI blows up the world, i need him safe!!!

holy FUCK!!!! “you’re gonna be okay, i’m gonna get you out of here” she says to his limp body as twilight time plays…

(oh, i'm emotional as she tries to lead him away..........)

but esther is frantically typing….

she’s crying… no… i realize what is happening as she tells scully to leave……

despite the imminent risk of explosion, scully comes back for esther… “you don’t listen, do you?” <- ohhhh…. esther strapped herself into the machine thingy!!!

scully, run!! take that injured man and beat it!!!!! esther does not wish to be saved!!

bam!!! the machine blows sparks and then it is annihilated from the sky!!!!

scully is guiding his barely conscious body through the woods…. then they visit the scene later

mulder ponders if esther was able to upload herself into an artificial life

“electrons chasing each other through a circuit- that isn’t life, mulder” “yeah, but what are we but impulses- electrical and chemical- through a bag of meat and bones? you’re the scientist, you tell me”

back at the lone gunmen's lab, their computer reads “BITE ME” in red letters against a black background!! esther!! she is here!!

(do the lone gunmen have a new friend?? can she be called upon to help during tricky situations?? or is she happily frolicking in the internet with david?? or is the answer that she can do both??)

cutscene to nebraska, where kids are playing with a football. a trailer is locked behind a fence, where one of the kids threw the ball. he goes in to fetch it…. but he is being watched by a camera!!!

NO!!! so did the AI live??? and somehow migrate to nebraska??? to watch random children?

for my own sanity, i choose to believe no ❤️

okay, so post episode thoughts: this was definitely a really, really good standalone ep. we had the whole emotional arc, and then the standard “well gee, i think it’s still out there” just when you think there’s hope.

i thought the premise sounded boring, and it actually turned out to be pretty interesting. we saw these weird sexual-ish fantasies of mulder being torn apart and scully saving the day, which are interesting, even if it's not exactly what i wanted to watch. and in the real world we saw her cradling his limp body out of the woods! which is exactly what i DO want to see!

and the skeptic was skeptical of science! but computer science is like, totally different from chemistry and stuff, so i can’t really blame her. she was PISSSSSED to be woken up in the middle of the night and then dragged on a wild goose chase!!! even pulling over the car just to yell at mulder!!! that is real fury!!

and i SWEAR i did not imagine that tension. she was attracted to esther but also mad as hell at her. we've all been there, scully. great insight into scully's type. she seems to like people who are terribly smart.

like i said before, i thought it was a really good episode!!! i’m not sure if it would make my top episodes list, but it would be close if not. i grew attached to esther, and i hope that she becomes the 4th lone gunman and offers insight from her digital abode, and that whenever they’re stumped they can turn to her and say “esther, what do you think?”. and she can beep beep boop and come up with a response. or maybe they can tell her about the latest movies and scientific discoveries. hard to imagine what the digital afterlife looks like and the capability for interaction between the real and digital worlds.

call his doctor…